February 4, 2021 • 26 mins
Meet Sue and Ava, the pair who inspired this podcast, as Sue accidentally live-streams on Facebook, kidnaps her beloved granddaughter Ava from school to visit a prize Yonkers bathroom and the two of them go on ticket hoarding runs to Chuck E Cheese - forming a lifelong and unbreakable grandmother granddaughter bond.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, listen after this and seeing myself every time we
do this, I am definitely having a facelift. Okay, Alsa,
got my headphones on, got my everything going, The microphone
is working, I can see everybody. Who are we going
to talk about today? Today we're gonna have a special
(00:21):
day Merrow posters. Daughter Ava and her mother Sue are
going to have a conversation. Is that our merrow? It's
our narrow poster. Who's the creator of Call your Grandmother? Oh,
I'm really looking forward to this. It should be fabulous.
They're two fabulous ladies. A little girl, a teenager too fast.
(00:49):
A little girl, You'll be a real pain to the ass.
You'll go to school and act so cool and do
all the teenage stuff. Little girl, you're not a little
girl long a. This is too I'm not going to
(01:15):
say her age, but she is fun. She's funky, very fresh.
With Grammy, nothing can be described as boring. You know.
Sometimes I'd say things and do things just for the
outrageousness of the pido, so we could get a lot
out of it. Grammy has a photographic memory. If you
give her the name of a song, she can sing
a song that goes with that word should wed Grammy, alright,
(01:39):
just don't embarrass me after that interruption. My best friend's
name is Lily, Lily, Lily of the Valley, Lily Lily,
Let's red BALLI zupp keep your eyes on the road, etcetera.
I've been wearing the same perfume for forty years and
(02:00):
she always loved it. So before she went to camp,
I took my perfume dad to a house and I
sprated all over hot pillows that she was taking to camp.
So when she got to camp, she would spell me.
She is really funny. Everything she says is like, uh,
there's always a joke because she's very musical. She's been
a very very important part of my life. She's the
(02:23):
best and I love her. Nobody has given me the
joy and by life that Ava has given me. Growing up.
I guess they had a really small bladder. So we
would wander into bathrooms and we made it like a game.
It was like, oh does this I was really small,
(02:45):
so it's the hook low enough that I could reach it.
It never was are there flowers? Is it nice lighting?
And then it just became a thing and we're like, yeah,
we're going to write a book. On the best bathrooms
in New York, the best bath and the worst, and
we took notes and we rated them from one to ted. Yeah.
Grammy famously likes to kidnap me, so she would just
(03:05):
capture me after school and we would like do debaucherous things.
I would take Gavid during the day. We rode up
to yachters and we this bathroom looked like it was
over the bridge. Rebepperave it felt like you were on
a ship in the middle of the river. Yeah, I
mean it was gorgeous and the view was incredible. Grammy
has kind of always been with me. We would do
(03:26):
like cooking classes together. She would take me to dance lessons,
and we've always been extremely close. She taught me to
play pick up six and jacks to make sure I
went to camp with all of the necessary skills. We
did all different things. We went to Butterfly World. We
went to play a miniature golf. Yeah. But now in
the pandemic, it's just helping the pandemic. I haven't sea. Yeah.
(03:47):
Have I seen you once? I mean I've seen you
since March, right. Yeah. Well, she came to the house
twice this summer and she took a few things. She
wears some of my old Yeah, her old clothes. He
has like these like old scars that will tie into talk.
And I used to always wear a belt and a
shirt with the collar up. I look like Rizzo from Greece. Terrific.
(04:15):
And I love the relationship between the grandmother and that
thing with the rating of the bathrooms. That's the funniest
thing I ever heard. Every time she opens him out,
I think to myself, as soon as this thing is over,
I'm having her here for lunch. I mean, she is
just like, invite me, Allen, you're a good cook. Okay.
(04:40):
I'm reading these part titles, and part one says Ellie
Grammy Graham. I wonder what that is, Grammy. Her use
of social media could possibly be characterized as her miss
use of social media now that she's taken to Instagram
and Facebook. Sometimes she accidentally live streams I'm like fun
(05:08):
over a dress rewa. So the first time that happened,
I get a text from my best friend Sam. She
was like, get on Facebook right now, Grammy's live streaming.
So we're all on Facebook. All of my friends and
my cousins were all texting. We're like, who's gonna tell her,
I'm just hearing a baptist though. Yeah, you kept like
tapping the button. It was like click click click. You
(05:28):
were just sitting there and then you put like a
filter on yourself. I was crying. I don't have any
recollection that live. Same incident became the inspiration for Eli
Grammy Graham, an Instagram account my cousins and I made
for a Grandma. It's all about the face, that's the trouble.
It's all about the base that's the trouble. It's at
(05:50):
at that the base that's the trouble. But told me,
I mean, it was basically about my grandma, like all
the ridiculous stuff she does and all of the accidental
selfie she takes, and when she sings rap songs in
the car to like melodies and niche is so confusing
and it was really never meant to be anything past.
(06:15):
Like my family and my friends, it's kind of all
those things that's like so quintessentially Grammy to everyone that
just it makes you laugh or at least makes you
smile a little bit. Even before we made her this account,
all my friends knew Grammy, Like none of my friends
(06:36):
call her Sue. Or Susan. It's all Grammy. It's like
a nickname rather than being like my name for my grandma.
It's like, oh, hey, Grammy is Oh Grammy's gonna pick
you up. It's not like, oh, is your Grammy gonna
pick you up? She never knew I had a real name,
but until a friend the Beryl's, asked her, do you
know what Grammy's real name is? She said, Grabby. She
(06:57):
had one friend that really thought I was a great mother.
After my fourth grandchild was born, my husband, for her anniversary,
got be a tennis bracelet when he had a little
gold baby shoes. Attached to the bracelet at the bottom
of the shoe said each kid's day with the date
of birth. And Samantha looked at the bracelet. She said
(07:18):
to me, where's my name? And Avis said to it,
you're not one of Grammy's children, no child's You're not
one of Grammy's childs. That thing is so funny because
when I'm answering an email with something, I'm not good.
I don't hit the right keys, and my kids keep saying,
(07:42):
what are the stupid things are you sending out? You know,
we don't know what we're doing. So whatever happens happens,
and it's funny. It was adorable, that's so cute. I
think that when a child has a relationship like that
with a grandmother, it's like a gift. It really, absolutely,
it's a gift. And I tried. I tried to create
(08:03):
that kind of a relationship. Of course, my girls are
much much younger, so it's better, you know what, because
I feel now not that we're grandmother and grandshung with
buddies with pounds. We love to be together. They get
a kick out of me the stupid things I do.
You know, there's there's an expression that we have in
our family. It's like this no no, that usually is
(08:25):
involving anything that has to do with electronics, although I
tried very hard. Next up, we have part two, the
last olive, and the only thing that comes to my
mind is a marketining. How would you compare yourself to
your grandmother? What would you say is the biggest difference
(08:47):
between the two of you? She was cold as ice. Oh.
We used to have dinner every night together, so you know,
my mother always putting the olives, pickles, celery, carrots on
the table, and there was one of olive left when
I went to take it, she took it. My grandmother,
if there is one thing left on the table at
(09:07):
a restaurant, she always tells me to eat it. She's like,
you go for it. I'm not going to take the
last one. I never forgot that m after going through
the experience, have your grandmother taking the last olive? What
do you think is the most important thing to convey
to your own grandchildren? Just love them. I really never
(09:30):
wanted to every time I came to the house, boy
you something, and give you something, because I didn't want
to be known for that. And I know plenty of
my friends that with grandmothers, they every time they came
to the house, you think that the child was interested
in just what did you bring me? What did you
bring me? So I made sure I didn't do that.
I mean, I certainly didn't suffer from lack of gifts,
(09:54):
but I didn't make it an odd gooing. Uh an expectation? Right? Okay,
say yea. Not only do you do that, you finish
my sentences. You know, I have to say something about
the last alive. They used to say, if a single
girl each the last thing, she's gonna be an old maid?
(10:17):
Did you ever hear that? But that's never hurt. You
never heard that? Oh big, you know, I tell you
the decade between our soul and there's a lot of
things that got lost anyway. But the relationship is so cute.
It's really adorable, and it really is. And you hope
for a relationship like that with granddaughters and she and
she's right about not bring any gift every time. Don't
(10:39):
you know a lot of grandmothers that say, I'm going
to the grandchildren, I have to get something for No,
I do I know? Women. I have to tell you
there's nothing I could buy my grandchildren that I would
know that they want number one or that they don't have,
which is unfortunate me. Listen, I have a granddaughter who's
eleven who wants a broken leg. I think I'm gonna
buy that. No, no, you have to get on a
(11:04):
waiting list. Now, listen, don't go anywhere. We're gonna do
a quick commercial and I know you're gonna come right
back because we'll be looking for you. And there's nothing
like Jewish guilt. Next up is part three, Going her
(11:31):
Own Way? So how did you meet Poppy? A friend
of mine? When we graduated high school, went first summer
job at this company answering phones, putting in orders and
modeling the swimsuits. And she liked it so much, and
she thought her bosses were so nice that she never
(11:52):
went to college. So I called them and my husband's partner,
he was married, so he's the one that did the
high you ring And I had met my husband yet
you know, I would be on the spot to come
in the following day his part Yeah, she had a
rocking bod. And at that center clock, this dude struts
in and he starts singing A foggy day in London Town.
(12:15):
I said to myself, who is this? And there he was.
Whenever I get to say, like, oh my grandma, Yeah
she was a bathing suit model. For like a little
bit of time, we're like, she's a bathing suit model,
I was like, yes, model bathing suits my grandpa made
on then. I mean, who knew he'd be my future
huts But I used to stay there because I had
a crush on him, and I would take a later
(12:36):
training back to Lord Beach on Friday afternoon so I
could stay another twenty minutes to the office with him.
One night, I stayed later to model some suits for them,
and then he took me for dinner. On the way out,
I broke my heel of my shoe and he gave me,
I think thirty dollars, so he said, his money, and
(12:58):
go buy a pair of shoes because she's coming to
work tomorrow. You need a pair of shoes. I had
to think not to vomit. I was so nervous. He
was a great combination of niceness and thoughtfulness and its sexy.
It was a great combination. You know, it's like salt
but pepper. You know, it worked very well together. I
(13:19):
felt that it was something real, but I didn't know
what real really was. I was trying to fight it.
They was thirteen a half years older than I was
at nineteen, a man of thirty two and a half.
I made my friends thought I was going out with
my father. Yeah, she was nineteen, I mean to be exact,
I was eighteen really when I met him, and he
(13:41):
was in the garb and Center, and that it wasn't
a distinguished career like being a doctor a lawyer. You know,
that's how people thought. You know. I was crazy about him,
and his time went by, I was even more so,
but I felt that there was no future there. I mean,
I can't marry him. Makes that he's not marriage material
for me. So what changed your mind then about Poppy
(14:05):
being marriage material? I was going with him over two years,
and I saw that I didn't like anybody else. Finally,
my mother said to me that summer looks susan either ship.
We'll get up the pot. That's it. You can't keep
going like this. You know, there wasn't the pill they got.
My mother was scared at death. I would be coome pregnant.
(14:27):
You know, you got married to January before your college graduation,
and didn't your father make you get your maiden name
on your diploma right because he thought the marriagement at last.
So you never know, you know, And we had a
very long, loving marriage, so you never can tell. Oh,
he found like a really nice guy. And look how
(14:49):
generous he was. He gave him money for para shoes
in those years of para shues for thirty dollars had
to be Jimmy Choo, something really of I wasn't jump
from a a s BEC. I don't know a few
people remember that. God, I remember a s Bec. It
was a shoe store chain and it was modern, comfortable shoes,
(15:11):
but at thirty dollars, my god, you would have brought
three pair and they expect So he was a generous guy.
I say, these two Ava and Grahammy I'm enjoying this relationship.
And the grandmother is a funny lady. She's a lot
of fun. She's a oh, I I haven't expression who
you know what? Who did? She's a yeah, okay, I
(15:31):
don't know. If you need a few young girls know what?
Who did? It's like I still say that read it
really yeah, okay, okay, Rida Part four us coming up.
I see that it says making your own money. This
is something all of them have to learn how to do.
When I got married, I still was in college and
(15:54):
I was a speech in audiology major, and I really
liked it that they gave us patience to take on
the outside. We visited certain people at hospitals. Do ever
see the movie Maudy with Ernest Borgnard. Well, his mother
had a stroke and she was in Safe Vincent's hospital
in the city, and she was one of my patients
that I had to go see. What's so we and
(16:15):
I was offered a job at Rusk Institute and My
husband did not want me to take the job because
he was afraid I'd fall in love with a doctor.
And he kept saying that to me, and and it
was close to where we lived, and I really I
studied hard and I really wanted to work at it.
I said, I fell in love with you. Why would
(16:35):
I fall in love with the doctor. He says, well,
you've got to have a baby, sued, And that's how
we thought. So I didn't say I'd have a baby
worked too, you know. So that was the end of
my profession. I feel like it's definitely worth noting that
all of the women in our family value education very highly.
I'm the fourth generation to be going to college woman,
(16:56):
and so I mean it's a pretty big deal. Like
it's more about having the passion for learning. Grammy, you'll
call me even at the beginning of every semester. What
books are you reading in your classes? Like, I'm an
English major, so it's all this stuff. It's a lot
of feminist literature that I've been reading recently. It wanted
us something I really, uh, black the other side of
(17:18):
the fence with this by day. What do you mean
you're on the other side of the fence were already.
So what does that mean? I don't know. I mean
I believe in equal pay. Uh. My nephew graduated Harvard
Law School about Ted's years ago, and more than half
of those law students were wipid. Right really made me
(17:39):
feel good. It really wore my heart. Yeah, I think
that Grammy as a woman, I think she's definitely more
progressive than others in terms of like feminism. I don't
think she would call herself necessarily a feminist, but I
think that Grammy has always been someone to champion women
doing what they want, not relying on a husband or
a boyfriend to fulfill all of your needs. And I
(18:03):
mean it was very deeply ingrained in my mom that
you work and you make your own money. And now
I'm making a little bit of my own money, and
it feels really good. Having money of your own gives
you a sense of independence. You know. That reminds me
of a story when I graduated from college and I
got my first job teaching. My mother said to me,
(18:25):
You're gonna have to pay rent now. And I was horrified,
I'm going to live at home with you and Daddy
and I have to pay rent. My mother said, it's
only fair you have to pay rent. And about a
week before I got married, my mother came to me
with an envelope and she said, this is yours, and
(18:46):
I opened it up and there was a tremendous check
in there. Then all the rent you pay, she says,
I'm your mother, I know you, and I know where
that money would have god, And we had a very
nice little nest egg from that money for one one
to do three three? What do I think? I'm believe
(19:07):
we're gonna say time to go commercial, commercial and we'll
be right back. We can never sink I talked too fast. No,
you were behind me? Read are you still there? Oh? Yeah?
Part five is coming up. Grammy's Lessons something everyone should
(19:28):
adhere to. Grammy. What's the difference between being a mother
and a grandmother? For you? I don't have to worry
every night. Did you do your homework? What's your homework?
Where is your homework? What's this? To pick up your clothes?
Put back your clothes? Did you go to the bathroom today?
I was always a big maxature. My kids went to
the bathroom with that. You still do do that with me,
(19:50):
By the way, Just to make that clear, that's not
where the mother grandmother line is. It's not really worrying
day by day. It's just it's like eating ice cream
every day without having to eat the spinach. It's pure joy.
When I was growing up, she was always with me,
(20:12):
like it was always she would pick me up from school,
or she would take me somewhere and we would go
to chuck e cheeses together or eat like ice cream
sundays in bed. Eventually I was like, oh, this isn't normal.
What was like? Oh yeah, like I saw Grammy today,
like she brought me to a cooking class or something,
And people like, oh yeah, Like I see my grandparents
like once a year or like once every couple of months.
(20:35):
And I still don't know many kids whose grandparents are
in there every day live. You know. I call her
most of the time, but she does call me occasionally,
And when I get those phone calls, it's like a
girl waiting for a boyfriend that she's been dying for
him to call her, slacked by hot skips beats when
she calls me. By the way, I passed a chuck
(20:57):
e cheese today. You did is a big chucky cheese.
I swear to God, we never ate there. I just
want to make that very clear that we never ate
at check e Cheeses. We just played the games. So
we would go when I was little, and we would
rack up tickets and we would just play like hours
of ski ball and like hours of games in order
to rack up as many points as we could. And
(21:18):
we used to walk past the machines at kids left
and the tickets would be hanging out. I got to
take them. We've got a couple of hundred tickets every day,
and so then we would collect them and how many
tickets did we end up getting or something like that. Yeah, grammy,
do you still have the tickets? Yes, I do when
I diecause they're in the desk of the left hip drawer.
(21:39):
All right, thank you, not dad, I'll buy a chuck
e cheese and name it Sue's Sue's plays. That's the
cutest thing. I love that relationship. And as lucky and
the grandmother was, the grand daughter is twice as lucky
to have as a grandmother. I have to say. I
(22:00):
once said to my husband, I envy my grandchildren the
relationship that we have with them, because I never had
that with a grandparents. He he had, he had two
very doting grandmothers. His grandmother came to stay with us
for a week because she wanted to teach me how
to cook. They were terrible cooks in that family. And
(22:21):
she said to me, My murther always told me, before
the husband comes home, vosh your face, put on a
clean vest, and glean him at the dore me that kiss.
I only greeted him at the door with a kiss,
but I never you know, watch me, okay, were to
(22:44):
get ready. This is a part six learning to slow
down and smell the roses because you're mad here forem
a sweetheart. Do you think that the women in my
generation are missing out on anything? I don't think they
have time to step back and smell the flowers like
(23:06):
we did. I think life is much more difficult today.
The women today wanted all of the law that have
to have more than what we had because they need to.
It comes to the family, and there's a lot of
stress out there, really is. Yeah, I mean I agree
with that. I think that the grammy never she always
said that, like working seemed like such a fun kind
(23:27):
of thing to do, and I think now that I'm working,
I'm trying to step back at least a little bit
more and realize that, like everything isn't moving so quickly,
Like I'm twenty two now, and it's like, how am
I twenty two? And so I'm trying to just like
slow down a little bit and smell the roses for
like at least a second, you know. I think, though,
(23:49):
it's some way that raising my children and being there
and participating in their activities was like my career. Yeah,
and then she got to do it double with me,
but only the fun parts. Well, I fired you very smart,
and I think you have very good common sense, and
(24:10):
I think you're a fabulous person thinks. So I could
ask you about style, and I could ask you about
I really don't talk about Kaska Dustyevsky. We could. We have,
you know, an odgoing relationship. But we talked about a
lot of things, and I just I just enjoy you
(24:30):
aver fabulous, beyond fabulous. It's grammy. I know we're on
the same page. He said. He loves all that we do.
I have five grandchildren. I love five grandchildren. But there's
always one that you have a little special relationship with.
(24:52):
It's a friend, it's it's a loved one. It's not
my mother's mother or my father's mother. It's my grandmother,
my friend, my buddy, my confidant. Call Your Grandmother is
a production of I Heart Radio and SUPERB Entertainment. The
(25:15):
hosts of the show are me Rida Kay and me
Alan Bernstein. Grotsky. Created by Meryl Poster, produced and directed
by Anasta, with producer Abu Zafar, An associate producer Emily Marinoff,
managing producer Lizzy Hoffman, and executive producers are Meryl Poster,
(25:39):
Nikki e Tor and Mandes and Mangeshti Okay, let me
start again, al Hati Hatika, Door Music and master by
Hamilton Lighthouser and Anasta. Would you expect your grandmother and
(26:00):
ninety to be on the podcast noway h
Oh, listen after this and seeing myself every time we
do this, I am definitely having a facelift. Okay, Alsa,
got my headphones on, got my everything going, The microphone
is working, I can see everybody. Who are we going
to talk about today? Today we're gonna have a special
(00:21):
day Merrow posters. Daughter Ava and her mother Sue are
going to have a conversation. Is that our merrow? It's
our narrow poster. Who's the creator of Call your Grandmother? Oh,
I'm really looking forward to this. It should be fabulous.
They're two fabulous ladies. A little girl, a teenager too fast.
(00:49):
A little girl, You'll be a real pain to the ass.
You'll go to school and act so cool and do
all the teenage stuff. Little girl, you're not a little
girl long a. This is too I'm not going to
(01:15):
say her age, but she is fun. She's funky, very fresh.
With Grammy, nothing can be described as boring. You know.
Sometimes I'd say things and do things just for the
outrageousness of the pido, so we could get a lot
out of it. Grammy has a photographic memory. If you
give her the name of a song, she can sing
a song that goes with that word should wed Grammy, alright,
(01:39):
just don't embarrass me after that interruption. My best friend's
name is Lily, Lily, Lily of the Valley, Lily Lily,
Let's red BALLI zupp keep your eyes on the road, etcetera.
I've been wearing the same perfume for forty years and
(02:00):
she always loved it. So before she went to camp,
I took my perfume dad to a house and I
sprated all over hot pillows that she was taking to camp.
So when she got to camp, she would spell me.
She is really funny. Everything she says is like, uh,
there's always a joke because she's very musical. She's been
a very very important part of my life. She's the
(02:23):
best and I love her. Nobody has given me the
joy and by life that Ava has given me. Growing up.
I guess they had a really small bladder. So we
would wander into bathrooms and we made it like a game.
It was like, oh does this I was really small,
(02:45):
so it's the hook low enough that I could reach it.
It never was are there flowers? Is it nice lighting?
And then it just became a thing and we're like, yeah,
we're going to write a book. On the best bathrooms
in New York, the best bath and the worst, and
we took notes and we rated them from one to ted. Yeah.
Grammy famously likes to kidnap me, so she would just
(03:05):
capture me after school and we would like do debaucherous things.
I would take Gavid during the day. We rode up
to yachters and we this bathroom looked like it was
over the bridge. Rebepperave it felt like you were on
a ship in the middle of the river. Yeah, I
mean it was gorgeous and the view was incredible. Grammy
has kind of always been with me. We would do
(03:26):
like cooking classes together. She would take me to dance lessons,
and we've always been extremely close. She taught me to
play pick up six and jacks to make sure I
went to camp with all of the necessary skills. We
did all different things. We went to Butterfly World. We
went to play a miniature golf. Yeah. But now in
the pandemic, it's just helping the pandemic. I haven't sea. Yeah.
(03:47):
Have I seen you once? I mean I've seen you
since March, right. Yeah. Well, she came to the house
twice this summer and she took a few things. She
wears some of my old Yeah, her old clothes. He
has like these like old scars that will tie into talk.
And I used to always wear a belt and a
shirt with the collar up. I look like Rizzo from Greece. Terrific.
(04:15):
And I love the relationship between the grandmother and that
thing with the rating of the bathrooms. That's the funniest
thing I ever heard. Every time she opens him out,
I think to myself, as soon as this thing is over,
I'm having her here for lunch. I mean, she is
just like, invite me, Allen, you're a good cook. Okay.
(04:40):
I'm reading these part titles, and part one says Ellie
Grammy Graham. I wonder what that is, Grammy. Her use
of social media could possibly be characterized as her miss
use of social media now that she's taken to Instagram
and Facebook. Sometimes she accidentally live streams I'm like fun
(05:08):
over a dress rewa. So the first time that happened,
I get a text from my best friend Sam. She
was like, get on Facebook right now, Grammy's live streaming.
So we're all on Facebook. All of my friends and
my cousins were all texting. We're like, who's gonna tell her,
I'm just hearing a baptist though. Yeah, you kept like
tapping the button. It was like click click click. You
(05:28):
were just sitting there and then you put like a
filter on yourself. I was crying. I don't have any
recollection that live. Same incident became the inspiration for Eli
Grammy Graham, an Instagram account my cousins and I made
for a Grandma. It's all about the face, that's the trouble.
It's all about the base that's the trouble. It's at
(05:50):
at that the base that's the trouble. But told me,
I mean, it was basically about my grandma, like all
the ridiculous stuff she does and all of the accidental
selfie she takes, and when she sings rap songs in
the car to like melodies and niche is so confusing
and it was really never meant to be anything past.
(06:15):
Like my family and my friends, it's kind of all
those things that's like so quintessentially Grammy to everyone that
just it makes you laugh or at least makes you
smile a little bit. Even before we made her this account,
all my friends knew Grammy, Like none of my friends
(06:36):
call her Sue. Or Susan. It's all Grammy. It's like
a nickname rather than being like my name for my grandma.
It's like, oh, hey, Grammy is Oh Grammy's gonna pick
you up. It's not like, oh, is your Grammy gonna
pick you up? She never knew I had a real name,
but until a friend the Beryl's, asked her, do you
know what Grammy's real name is? She said, Grabby. She
(06:57):
had one friend that really thought I was a great mother.
After my fourth grandchild was born, my husband, for her anniversary,
got be a tennis bracelet when he had a little
gold baby shoes. Attached to the bracelet at the bottom
of the shoe said each kid's day with the date
of birth. And Samantha looked at the bracelet. She said
(07:18):
to me, where's my name? And Avis said to it,
you're not one of Grammy's children, no child's You're not
one of Grammy's childs. That thing is so funny because
when I'm answering an email with something, I'm not good.
I don't hit the right keys, and my kids keep saying,
(07:42):
what are the stupid things are you sending out? You know,
we don't know what we're doing. So whatever happens happens,
and it's funny. It was adorable, that's so cute. I
think that when a child has a relationship like that
with a grandmother, it's like a gift. It really, absolutely,
it's a gift. And I tried. I tried to create
(08:03):
that kind of a relationship. Of course, my girls are
much much younger, so it's better, you know what, because
I feel now not that we're grandmother and grandshung with
buddies with pounds. We love to be together. They get
a kick out of me the stupid things I do.
You know, there's there's an expression that we have in
our family. It's like this no no, that usually is
(08:25):
involving anything that has to do with electronics, although I
tried very hard. Next up, we have part two, the
last olive, and the only thing that comes to my
mind is a marketining. How would you compare yourself to
your grandmother? What would you say is the biggest difference
(08:47):
between the two of you? She was cold as ice. Oh.
We used to have dinner every night together, so you know,
my mother always putting the olives, pickles, celery, carrots on
the table, and there was one of olive left when
I went to take it, she took it. My grandmother,
if there is one thing left on the table at
(09:07):
a restaurant, she always tells me to eat it. She's like,
you go for it. I'm not going to take the
last one. I never forgot that m after going through
the experience, have your grandmother taking the last olive? What
do you think is the most important thing to convey
to your own grandchildren? Just love them. I really never
(09:30):
wanted to every time I came to the house, boy
you something, and give you something, because I didn't want
to be known for that. And I know plenty of
my friends that with grandmothers, they every time they came
to the house, you think that the child was interested
in just what did you bring me? What did you
bring me? So I made sure I didn't do that.
I mean, I certainly didn't suffer from lack of gifts,
(09:54):
but I didn't make it an odd gooing. Uh an expectation? Right? Okay,
say yea. Not only do you do that, you finish
my sentences. You know, I have to say something about
the last alive. They used to say, if a single
girl each the last thing, she's gonna be an old maid?
(10:17):
Did you ever hear that? But that's never hurt. You
never heard that? Oh big, you know, I tell you
the decade between our soul and there's a lot of
things that got lost anyway. But the relationship is so cute.
It's really adorable, and it really is. And you hope
for a relationship like that with granddaughters and she and
she's right about not bring any gift every time. Don't
(10:39):
you know a lot of grandmothers that say, I'm going
to the grandchildren, I have to get something for No,
I do I know? Women. I have to tell you
there's nothing I could buy my grandchildren that I would
know that they want number one or that they don't have,
which is unfortunate me. Listen, I have a granddaughter who's
eleven who wants a broken leg. I think I'm gonna
buy that. No, no, you have to get on a
(11:04):
waiting list. Now, listen, don't go anywhere. We're gonna do
a quick commercial and I know you're gonna come right
back because we'll be looking for you. And there's nothing
like Jewish guilt. Next up is part three, Going her
(11:31):
Own Way? So how did you meet Poppy? A friend
of mine? When we graduated high school, went first summer
job at this company answering phones, putting in orders and
modeling the swimsuits. And she liked it so much, and
she thought her bosses were so nice that she never
(11:52):
went to college. So I called them and my husband's partner,
he was married, so he's the one that did the
high you ring And I had met my husband yet
you know, I would be on the spot to come
in the following day his part Yeah, she had a
rocking bod. And at that center clock, this dude struts
in and he starts singing A foggy day in London Town.
(12:15):
I said to myself, who is this? And there he was.
Whenever I get to say, like, oh my grandma, Yeah
she was a bathing suit model. For like a little
bit of time, we're like, she's a bathing suit model,
I was like, yes, model bathing suits my grandpa made
on then. I mean, who knew he'd be my future
huts But I used to stay there because I had
a crush on him, and I would take a later
(12:36):
training back to Lord Beach on Friday afternoon so I
could stay another twenty minutes to the office with him.
One night, I stayed later to model some suits for them,
and then he took me for dinner. On the way out,
I broke my heel of my shoe and he gave me,
I think thirty dollars, so he said, his money, and
(12:58):
go buy a pair of shoes because she's coming to
work tomorrow. You need a pair of shoes. I had
to think not to vomit. I was so nervous. He
was a great combination of niceness and thoughtfulness and its sexy.
It was a great combination. You know, it's like salt
but pepper. You know, it worked very well together. I
(13:19):
felt that it was something real, but I didn't know
what real really was. I was trying to fight it.
They was thirteen a half years older than I was
at nineteen, a man of thirty two and a half.
I made my friends thought I was going out with
my father. Yeah, she was nineteen, I mean to be exact,
I was eighteen really when I met him, and he
(13:41):
was in the garb and Center, and that it wasn't
a distinguished career like being a doctor a lawyer. You know,
that's how people thought. You know. I was crazy about him,
and his time went by, I was even more so,
but I felt that there was no future there. I mean,
I can't marry him. Makes that he's not marriage material
for me. So what changed your mind then about Poppy
(14:05):
being marriage material? I was going with him over two years,
and I saw that I didn't like anybody else. Finally,
my mother said to me that summer looks susan either ship.
We'll get up the pot. That's it. You can't keep
going like this. You know, there wasn't the pill they got.
My mother was scared at death. I would be coome pregnant.
(14:27):
You know, you got married to January before your college graduation,
and didn't your father make you get your maiden name
on your diploma right because he thought the marriagement at last.
So you never know, you know, And we had a
very long, loving marriage, so you never can tell. Oh,
he found like a really nice guy. And look how
(14:49):
generous he was. He gave him money for para shoes
in those years of para shues for thirty dollars had
to be Jimmy Choo, something really of I wasn't jump
from a a s BEC. I don't know a few
people remember that. God, I remember a s Bec. It
was a shoe store chain and it was modern, comfortable shoes,
(15:11):
but at thirty dollars, my god, you would have brought
three pair and they expect So he was a generous guy.
I say, these two Ava and Grahammy I'm enjoying this relationship.
And the grandmother is a funny lady. She's a lot
of fun. She's a oh, I I haven't expression who
you know what? Who did? She's a yeah, okay, I
(15:31):
don't know. If you need a few young girls know what?
Who did? It's like I still say that read it
really yeah, okay, okay, Rida Part four us coming up.
I see that it says making your own money. This
is something all of them have to learn how to do.
When I got married, I still was in college and
(15:54):
I was a speech in audiology major, and I really
liked it that they gave us patience to take on
the outside. We visited certain people at hospitals. Do ever
see the movie Maudy with Ernest Borgnard. Well, his mother
had a stroke and she was in Safe Vincent's hospital
in the city, and she was one of my patients
that I had to go see. What's so we and
(16:15):
I was offered a job at Rusk Institute and My
husband did not want me to take the job because
he was afraid I'd fall in love with a doctor.
And he kept saying that to me, and and it
was close to where we lived, and I really I
studied hard and I really wanted to work at it.
I said, I fell in love with you. Why would
(16:35):
I fall in love with the doctor. He says, well,
you've got to have a baby, sued, And that's how
we thought. So I didn't say I'd have a baby
worked too, you know. So that was the end of
my profession. I feel like it's definitely worth noting that
all of the women in our family value education very highly.
I'm the fourth generation to be going to college woman,
(16:56):
and so I mean it's a pretty big deal. Like
it's more about having the passion for learning. Grammy, you'll
call me even at the beginning of every semester. What
books are you reading in your classes? Like, I'm an
English major, so it's all this stuff. It's a lot
of feminist literature that I've been reading recently. It wanted
us something I really, uh, black the other side of
(17:18):
the fence with this by day. What do you mean
you're on the other side of the fence were already.
So what does that mean? I don't know. I mean
I believe in equal pay. Uh. My nephew graduated Harvard
Law School about Ted's years ago, and more than half
of those law students were wipid. Right really made me
(17:39):
feel good. It really wore my heart. Yeah, I think
that Grammy as a woman, I think she's definitely more
progressive than others in terms of like feminism. I don't
think she would call herself necessarily a feminist, but I
think that Grammy has always been someone to champion women
doing what they want, not relying on a husband or
a boyfriend to fulfill all of your needs. And I
(18:03):
mean it was very deeply ingrained in my mom that
you work and you make your own money. And now
I'm making a little bit of my own money, and
it feels really good. Having money of your own gives
you a sense of independence. You know. That reminds me
of a story when I graduated from college and I
got my first job teaching. My mother said to me,
(18:25):
You're gonna have to pay rent now. And I was horrified,
I'm going to live at home with you and Daddy
and I have to pay rent. My mother said, it's
only fair you have to pay rent. And about a
week before I got married, my mother came to me
with an envelope and she said, this is yours, and
(18:46):
I opened it up and there was a tremendous check
in there. Then all the rent you pay, she says,
I'm your mother, I know you, and I know where
that money would have god, And we had a very
nice little nest egg from that money for one one
to do three three? What do I think? I'm believe
(19:07):
we're gonna say time to go commercial, commercial and we'll
be right back. We can never sink I talked too fast. No,
you were behind me? Read are you still there? Oh? Yeah?
Part five is coming up. Grammy's Lessons something everyone should
(19:28):
adhere to. Grammy. What's the difference between being a mother
and a grandmother? For you? I don't have to worry
every night. Did you do your homework? What's your homework?
Where is your homework? What's this? To pick up your clothes?
Put back your clothes? Did you go to the bathroom today?
I was always a big maxature. My kids went to
the bathroom with that. You still do do that with me,
(19:50):
By the way, Just to make that clear, that's not
where the mother grandmother line is. It's not really worrying
day by day. It's just it's like eating ice cream
every day without having to eat the spinach. It's pure joy.
When I was growing up, she was always with me,
(20:12):
like it was always she would pick me up from school,
or she would take me somewhere and we would go
to chuck e cheeses together or eat like ice cream
sundays in bed. Eventually I was like, oh, this isn't normal.
What was like? Oh yeah, like I saw Grammy today,
like she brought me to a cooking class or something,
And people like, oh yeah, Like I see my grandparents
like once a year or like once every couple of months.
(20:35):
And I still don't know many kids whose grandparents are
in there every day live. You know. I call her
most of the time, but she does call me occasionally,
And when I get those phone calls, it's like a
girl waiting for a boyfriend that she's been dying for
him to call her, slacked by hot skips beats when
she calls me. By the way, I passed a chuck
(20:57):
e cheese today. You did is a big chucky cheese.
I swear to God, we never ate there. I just
want to make that very clear that we never ate
at check e Cheeses. We just played the games. So
we would go when I was little, and we would
rack up tickets and we would just play like hours
of ski ball and like hours of games in order
to rack up as many points as we could. And
(21:18):
we used to walk past the machines at kids left
and the tickets would be hanging out. I got to
take them. We've got a couple of hundred tickets every day,
and so then we would collect them and how many
tickets did we end up getting or something like that. Yeah, grammy,
do you still have the tickets? Yes, I do when
I diecause they're in the desk of the left hip drawer.
(21:39):
All right, thank you, not dad, I'll buy a chuck
e cheese and name it Sue's Sue's plays. That's the
cutest thing. I love that relationship. And as lucky and
the grandmother was, the grand daughter is twice as lucky
to have as a grandmother. I have to say. I
(22:00):
once said to my husband, I envy my grandchildren the
relationship that we have with them, because I never had
that with a grandparents. He he had, he had two
very doting grandmothers. His grandmother came to stay with us
for a week because she wanted to teach me how
to cook. They were terrible cooks in that family. And
(22:21):
she said to me, My murther always told me, before
the husband comes home, vosh your face, put on a
clean vest, and glean him at the dore me that kiss.
I only greeted him at the door with a kiss,
but I never you know, watch me, okay, were to
(22:44):
get ready. This is a part six learning to slow
down and smell the roses because you're mad here forem
a sweetheart. Do you think that the women in my
generation are missing out on anything? I don't think they
have time to step back and smell the flowers like
(23:06):
we did. I think life is much more difficult today.
The women today wanted all of the law that have
to have more than what we had because they need to.
It comes to the family, and there's a lot of
stress out there, really is. Yeah, I mean I agree
with that. I think that the grammy never she always
said that, like working seemed like such a fun kind
(23:27):
of thing to do, and I think now that I'm working,
I'm trying to step back at least a little bit
more and realize that, like everything isn't moving so quickly,
Like I'm twenty two now, and it's like, how am
I twenty two? And so I'm trying to just like
slow down a little bit and smell the roses for
like at least a second, you know. I think, though,
(23:49):
it's some way that raising my children and being there
and participating in their activities was like my career. Yeah,
and then she got to do it double with me,
but only the fun parts. Well, I fired you very smart,
and I think you have very good common sense, and
(24:10):
I think you're a fabulous person thinks. So I could
ask you about style, and I could ask you about
I really don't talk about Kaska Dustyevsky. We could. We have,
you know, an odgoing relationship. But we talked about a
lot of things, and I just I just enjoy you
(24:30):
aver fabulous, beyond fabulous. It's grammy. I know we're on
the same page. He said. He loves all that we do.
I have five grandchildren. I love five grandchildren. But there's
always one that you have a little special relationship with.
(24:52):
It's a friend, it's it's a loved one. It's not
my mother's mother or my father's mother. It's my grandmother,
my friend, my buddy, my confidant. Call Your Grandmother is
a production of I Heart Radio and SUPERB Entertainment. The
(25:15):
hosts of the show are me Rida Kay and me
Alan Bernstein. Grotsky. Created by Meryl Poster, produced and directed
by Anasta, with producer Abu Zafar, An associate producer Emily Marinoff,
managing producer Lizzy Hoffman, and executive producers are Meryl Poster,
(25:39):
Nikki e Tor and Mandes and Mangeshti Okay, let me
start again, al Hati Hatika, Door Music and master by
Hamilton Lighthouser and Anasta. Would you expect your grandmother and
(26:00):
ninety to be on the podcast noway h
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