July 10, 2024 • 56 mins
Pass that duchess! California resident Meghan Markle has finally penned a children's book called "The Bench." Join us on a journey from Toronto to Buckingham Palace to Tyler Perry's pool house as we uncover the not-so-subtle messaging in the abdicated Duchess' fatherhood fantasia, talk about her still-launching jam/wine/yoga/salt brand American Riviera Orchard, oxford commas, supporting your ballerina son, the incredible dialogue of "Suits," her defunct lifestyle blog, and the most strained bench metaphor in herstory. God Bless America.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Celebrity club.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh god, damn it, traffics.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Stupid, stupid Beth.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Okay, my curtsy, Oh, Duchess Megan, either.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Beyond the wild Berry in the plummet.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Hih.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Hi, I'm Beth with blue wott fieldberry jams.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yeah, Hi, we know you're late. Bath. You can come
over in the waiting room or here, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah, Hi, Megan, Hi, Duchess.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Oh, you can call me Meghan. It's fine, Meghan the Dutch.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Sorry, Meghan the Duchess.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Just Meghan and Meghan. Yes, Beth, So good to.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Meet you in real life.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It's such a pleasure. I'm so looking forward to seeing
your wares and seeing what you've been putting together.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, I have an amazing collection of jams free of
course I put them together and I was in the
field plunging them with my feet.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
But really, this is you, and just know that, thank
you for saying that. I've just I've been on this
journey for so long and I've always wanted to do this.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You came to the right place. No one doesn't jam
better than me. Duchess Meghan, Megan, Megan. Okay, is Harry here?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
My husband is not here. Actually he's in Africa with
one of our charities.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Wonderful.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Your hair is so short, that's I think it's really cool.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
You know, safety first, right, I worked actually up in
northern California for a while, and actually I used to
work in wine and then I went to jam. My
hair was always in my face. You don't care, okay.
So these are the three we have that we talked
about in the zoom right.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Okay, so we've got the pluot.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
We have the Pluots, which I have to say my favorite,
and I know not everyone goes for them, but when
you said you wanted a plu Ot Jam you wanted
to remind people of home.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I thought that was so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Thank you so much forever and reading that. Do you
mind if I please?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
And I brought some gluten free crackers.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Oh awesome. Yeah, I know a lot of our customers
we are hoping that they'll be gluten free.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Here you go, broke, hold on, I have more.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I have more.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
It's really okay. I'm very just sort of placid about everything.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So this is the Pluot Jam gluten free cracker.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, hm.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
That's delicious. It really does taste like home and when
I say home, I mean a sort of mixture of Toronto, London, Montecito, Vancouver,
and Chicago, and a little bit of Florida as well.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes, yes, okay, so up next, let's get to it.
This is the orange marmalade. We're looking at this at
being the hero product.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Okay, yeah, I think orange might be a little intense
just as a color.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
We write that down my moleskin. Yeah, I may gray
be better.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Oh that sounds nice. Yeah, we're even a cream.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Okay, a cream cream marmalade. Okay, we might have just
some dying.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
A lighter color. Just thinking about people with different eye
conditions and what it might be like for them to
look at the jam.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We can go back to the test kitchen and try
to make a gray jam.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Okay, Well, last up, I want you to try this
really beautiful Humboldt fog.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I love fog with gray.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
The rubarb, which I know it's red.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
That could be intense, but I love the way the
word sounds ruebarb rubarb so fun.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Try to say up backwards barboo. You're hilarious.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I know I'm often noted for my sense of humor.
That's something my husband says he loves about me.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Can I say something? You guys are a beautiful couple.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Thank you so much, Beth, and I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Follow all the hubbub.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I know you don't.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I don't, but you know, sometimes even in Whole Foods
they have a People magazine.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
And I don't look at it.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Oh, thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And I just want to say a big f you.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Sorry, I'm getting fired up here, big f you to
those crazy tabloid people because you and Dutch, you and
mister Duchess are such a beautiful couple.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Thank you, Thank you so much. Sorry how to get tired?
I really appreciate that. And I have nothing but just
a calm smile to return to your general goodwill that
you've bestowed upon me.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Okay, well, I don't want to waste any more of
your time. Do you have any of the notes that
we want to make the orange marmalad ray or cream?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, and then I think we'll go with the pluot
And then I didn't get a chance to really taste
the third one. But I'm just not even hungry anymore. Okay,
if we can get that into production, and you know,
at the end of the day, we may not even
end up releasing any of these jams, and none of
them may turn out to be in stores. But as
long as we have something we can take a photo of,
I think that'll be open.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Absolutely okay, and we'll make sure you get a package
to send a close friends.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
That would be essential. I have at least four perfect Yeah.
It's Tyler Perry and then his three assistants, Megan.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I can't thank you enough for taking time out of
your very busy schedule.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I'm honored to be working with you. Should I seeing
myself out.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
My gay assistant James will help you to your car.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Let me just zip up my professional teator.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends,
you filthy whose your husband's gone, and we've got books
and a bottle of wine to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books,
it's gossip. I'm shook its memoirs Martini, Celebrity Poop Club,
read it while it's hot.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Celebrity book Club.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I'll tell your secrets.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
We won't talk celebrity books. No boys are a loud cleo,
say it loud and pound. Celebrity book Club.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Buzz me in. I brought the queer voe.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Hey, that's else. Welcome to yet another edition of every other.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Summer hashtag every other summer the summer where we're putting
the week between episodes.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
This week goes between episodes, Mama, and what are two
weeks it's been?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh my god, it's been insane.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Rooftop parties, travel, not travel, road trip, relaxing, guard but
also all.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
That sticky, crazy summer stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Air conditioners, breaking magazines, getting stuck to your skin and
some of the newsprint coming off.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Oh yeah, walking into an old navy just to take
a minute for yourself.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
And get in that cold, cold air con.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Buying an Alo Planet home depot so you can have
a fresh source of Alo to rub on your sunburn wounds.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
I haven't gone sunburn yet this summer, and I'm really hoping.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Oh that this will be the summer of not being burned. Yeah,
I'd love to see it. Okay, you're going to have
to really slather it on, mama.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh yeah, Alo.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I just got in my fab Fit Fun Box, which,
as you know, I do get every season for free
because I worked for them and I'm just still getting
a big pile of crap for women every three months.
Pile of crap for women. And I got that brand Vacation,
which is this kind of that like retro branded sunscreen brand. Yes,
it's very like the brand for brands Strata, just because
(08:02):
it's so like we got it, you're branding. It's very
mad and they do like the Apple garmand very kind
of like tight tight like long Sarah font but then
also like a script just being like now more than
ever or just what's the SPF on it? So it's
like their face stuff. And it's like specifically a face spray. Oh,
(08:22):
and it's want to say, it's fifty.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Fifty face spray.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, sounds nice, which I'm excited to use because I
think it's a good for touchups at the beach.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Well, I mean that's the biggest problem.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
You're sloth, the hands are sandy at that point you're
slathering on the face.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Yeah, I think the spray might actually be nice. But
it's not like a huge aerosol can.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
It's like a small, siny, little like Q can you're
putting in. It's not sore man, person you just purchased.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
It's the size of like I don't know, like it's
a little bit larger than a glue stick. It's maybe
a double glue stick as big as a double glue stick.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
That's so funny.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
We're making jokes about like tick size and stuff like
that and products because that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Reminds me of a scene in Suits.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I just watch.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
My Summer Practices.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I've been binging this show Suits, starring the Duchess Magan Markle.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, let's say it. We read her book.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
We read her book, and you may be like, wait, what,
Meghan has a memoir, you guys, it's summer.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Okay, So we read her children's book that's actually not forgids.
It's a children's book for fathers.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Fathers to like prep and feel like calm and.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Like empowered about their impending fatherhood.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, because we need to lift up our fathers and.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Like subtly tell the fathers that their wives will be
attracted to them if they are a good father, Like,
please be a good father.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I like you will get laid more if I see
you being a good father.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, and it's kind of just like it is that true?
Is that true? Show me the receipts, mom, we'll discuss.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Her book is called called The Bench by Meghan Camma, Mamma.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
The Duchess of Sussex.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I guess I didn't realize.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
You know, I'm not your total grammar girl, and I'm not.
I didn't realize that it would be Meghan Comma the Duchess.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
As opposed to what just Meghan the Duchess.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Kind of like Megan thee Stallion. Just like Meghan the Duchess.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Oh yeah, why doesn't Meghan the Stallion have an Oxford Comma?
Megan Megan Comma the Stallion.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Now, if you don't know who Meghan the Duchess is,
why don't I just read her bio?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Wait? Wait, what's the.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Meghan Comma, the Duchess of Sussex is a mother, wife,
feminist and activist.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Oh right, okay, right, Oh that mother? Yeah, I know
that mother.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Through the nonprofit work of the Archwelth Foundation, she and
her husband no name. She and her husband are committed
to activating compassion in communities across the world. Committed to
activating compassion.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
What are you and your husband like to do?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Fun? We love to commit to activate.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Compassion in communities. Oh, I think this weekend we're probably
just gonna lay low low.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Compassion. She currently resides in her home state of California
with her family, two dogs and a growing flock of
rescue chickens.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Squawk, squawk, rescue chickens and.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Like rescue chickens.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Does that mean that they were rescued from like an purdue,
like a Purdue and they just like someone did a
jail break and in so chicken run and like get
the chickens, like nine chickens escaped and some homemade way
to the Montecito ranch that SE's leasing from Oprah.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, is this we're trying to connect with Harry being
so Wallace in Gramaed and chicken run and like British
like or is.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
The rescue chicken more? Just like there's kind of a
farm that's fallen into disrepair, like in Greater Oxnar to California,
and it's like kind of this just like trashy family.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I think it's both because when I went to this
like animal sanctuary by my mom's house, like everyone had
each animal had a bio and it said this goat
or this chicken came from like a horrible neglect situation,
and you're kind of like, what's going on with goat neglect?
Like are you saying it was like an old man
(12:42):
that couldn't handle it or was it like a weird
petting zoo.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, it could be a totally abusive petting zoo, or
it could.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Be cockfights and like in California.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Yeah, it's like these Tijuana like cockfights and there's all
these chickens and cages that they're like maybe raising for
the fact. It's just the thing about chickens is I'm
just kind of.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Like they're everywhere.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Hey, they're everywhere, so I'm kind of like, what is
chicken neglect? It's just like there are just like wild chickens.
Like I was in Puerto Rico earlier this year, there's
fucking a rooster on every foot.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Well, those are.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Wild, so I don't think they need to be rescued
because they're already being so free range.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
So it's about a chicken that's like actively being abused
in like a small cage. But it's like that's also
all chickens.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Unless they are a free range like from like a
beautiful farm.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Right, the norm is actually chickens being horrifically abused.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Right, So I guess there's so many chickens too, But
it's like, right, she going to like this perdue factory
and being.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Like I'll take three.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
I think the fantasy of the Rescue Chicken is that
it's like this abusive, like blonde, legally blonde like and
it's like so like yeah, Donald's this like evil trailer
park drunk dat like molest uncle.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
It's like big glasses and he's like, I'm about to
make million dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
On these chickens.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, and he's like doing this like really put them
to Tessin. Yeah. Also, I'll say this about the Rescue Chickens,
is it is so her doing her cottage core fantasy. Yes,
and like she is being so marinto anat because like
she is like other women we recently discussed a woman
of many contradictions of.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Like someone of stature who is either with like like
Libby with a general or married to a former prince.
Those are the women of contradictions because it's like her
wife of powerful men.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Because like it's easy to sort of tar her as
a hypocrite and we have to just been the whole
episode doing that, but like, you know, you can get
it out of the way. It's like obviously, like the
book is literally by Megan, the Duchess of Sussex and
her whole thing was like grieving the monarchy. But but
I am going to be and I was reading the
Goodreads before, like the views of this there's like so
many haters and so many lovers, and it's like she's
(14:56):
such a flashpoint.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
No, it's it's very you'll love. Yeah, let me hate me.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I Like someone has just being like, well, if she
didn't say duchess, then people will be mad at her,
like for pretending like she wasn't a duchess.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
And like not honoring the fact of like she would
have never gotten a book right from just being so
the haters will be the haters will hate.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Oh yeah, when you're the seventh lead on suits, like
you're getting a children's bo like we.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Have read so many random memoirs.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
No, it's possible they're handing out memborist.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
But then her defenders, I'm sure, like, well, this is
a beautiful message and we should like honor her.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
I mean some of the defenders were just like, I
know you're not supposed to read a book without reviewing it,
but I'm gonna review this book without reading it because
you know what, there's too many Megan haters in the reviews.
So they were just admitting that they were just being they.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Haven't read it, and they came here to defend.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
But good Reads is one of the craziest places on
planet wild West.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Over there there are people are so committed, like actually
settle the fuck up. But people were also having read
it leaving bad reviews, being like, this book is literally
bad and says nothing and has no plot and has
like no purpose at all, And it's also weirdly for
fathers even though it's supposed to be for kids. But
then some people being like, this book has such a
(16:19):
beautiful message and the illustrations like do such a good
job of like showing different fathers, different fathers in different situations. Fathers, by.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
This book is full of diverse fathers.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Okay, let's just kind of go to the The first.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Page is because it's called the bench, and that's a
metaphor for dads sitting on benches with you.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, it's not even so much a metaphor as it
is just like literally.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
It's dad's take dead children to the sitting on benches.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
It's supposed to be like this device that's like about
how there's this constant throughout the process of raising a
child in which like you'll take a seat and kind
of take stock.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Of what's happening in the moment, whether it's you're at.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
The park, sort of like our listeners are doing in
every other summer where they just sort of sit down
on a van and take stock.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Like maybe they're on a walk or something like that,
and they're on this like summer city stomp. But then
they get kind of sweaty and they're like, you know what,
let me just.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Get off a gatto.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
So I feel like we can basically read the whole book.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, let's do it, Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
The first beautiful illustration is of a redheaded dad, red
headed dad with a scruffy beard, wearing a short seat
gray T shirt so we know Harry famously has that
shirt that says girl dad.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Right, that's like a heathered gray tea.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
And he's like in jeans, probably in like a rag
and bone paper denim here.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
And it's kind of that too last sick like gestural
watercolor child book illustration style that's.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Been hot for the passage Run by a Man Baby
twenty years because we're honoring fathers.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Christian Robinson, who won the Kreta Scott King Illustrator.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
She's celebrating black leadership and children's illustrations.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
For sure, and like raising up fathers, yes.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And being really horny for.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Fathers and like also before we read it, it's like.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So much preamble for the seven page book, Like.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I just feel like you hear over and over like
women like kind of like nineties rom com like a
woman seeing like a steady guy and being like, there
is nothing sucksier than what a man you can tell
he's going to be a really good father someday.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Hey, when you can tell he's gonna be a good father.
But of course the jackpot for single women in their
thirties and rom coms is a single to add it's
a guy with the baby born. And then she clocks
no ring.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And like she sees him, she's like, oh, your wife
must be so happy that you're taking little Isabella out
to the park, right, And he says.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Oh, actually I'm unmarried.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I'm widowed.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yeah, widowed is.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
The best because that you don't have the ex wife
or we're actually divorced. So I have Isabella this weekend.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I savor these moments, save these moments with her goes.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
By so fast, and then it's great because then you
as their girlfriend can be like, oh great, we still
get like every other weekend, right.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You're like, I get to see him being a girl
father of a daughter, girl dad.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
But then we can have the groanies every other weekend
when his bitch ex wife bitch.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Okay, this is your bench where life will begin for
you and our son, our baby are can.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
And let's just say the bench is sort of in
the middle of a park. Yeah, but it could maybe
be like a really nice backyard.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
This first page is of Harry is their huge backyard.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I don't think this, oh this is this is that frogmore?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, this is this is not a public bench.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
This is like a British bench under my favorite tree
where my mother brought me.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Right, okay, next page, now we have this is your
and whereia witness great joy. And we're looking at a
craftsman with a porch.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I want to say almost maybe like in a Portland Washington.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Say Portland or Washington.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, maybe beautiful craftsmen not too big, you.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Know, like Cemetery Hill in Tacoma. I think it's a
neighborhood that we're looking at right now. You can get
a good deal on it.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Two bedroom craftsmen, maybe Beacon Hill in Seattle.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
And it's got a swinging porch.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
It is a new swinging porch like something the Two
Twins and how that HGGV show would be, Like what
if we put in a porch swing.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
And the colors are so like Pacific Northwest like this
kind of olive green. It's just so funny because I
do feel like because now she's like a readopted American
where she's American then became Canadian, then became British and
I was American again, and she's like, I am celebrating
American suburbia, but like not Trump's America.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Like this is like a This is celebrating like sub
liberal liberal suburbs right outside of a city, yes, where
you could be like, oh my commune is actually fifteen
minutes yeh hashtag fifteen minute commute.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
To the Boeing campus periods not forty three. This is
your bench will you'll witness great joy and again And
now I can see that the father looks to be
the father of a mixed race child. It's like so subtle, but.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Okay, so maybe now this is her father.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Right well, but I feel like the thing that colors
this whole book.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Oh right, her father's is like she has.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
An insanely strange relationship her father. Now Harry has this
insanely at strange relationship from his father, the king, the King, Oh,
the King. Oh, he's a father and climate activist. I
don't know if you know him.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
He begnds with his partner, Camilla.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Camilla, and they're two dogs.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
There's seven non rescue courgies.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Cet.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
I do feel like this whole book is either like
an attempt. It's like wish fulfillment that she actually did
have a good relationship with her father and that like
Harry and his father did have a good relationship, or to.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Me, this is more of a fuck you actually to
both the fathers and say we're of a modern parentship. Yes,
our fathers are hanging out with our children.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Right. Well, it's kind of like the Kelly Clarkson.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Song which one Stephen by the way, former member of
the Kelly Clarkson Street.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Cut of piece by piece. It's kind of a letter
kiss off letter to her dad being like he'll never
ask for money. He's not just going to come into
my life when it's convenient for him, Like he's going
to be there for our daughter, ironically than her and
random Black Suck did get divorced.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
And of course he's been basically robbing or robbing her.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, so she kind of spoke too soon with that song,
But like, I do see your point that it's kind
of that, But I also don't you think underlying that
is right.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
It's because I think she was very sad, Like she
had many meetings with her like and she'd be dad like.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Didn't we talk about this in the Harry episode though,
But like she was like a daddyist girl. I think
they used to be close, and it's the same thing
with Harry where it's like the dad's always calling him
like Madonie doling boy, and so like there is this
great rift.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, I almost wonder if, like after Megan and her
father had their kind of separation, Harry was like, Okay,
we're in it together, and like now I have to
also have this separation with my dad. And I think
just Charles is just like old and British and he
like kind of like didn't get what was happening in
(23:44):
the real fight honestly is kind of between Meiam and Harry.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
That's obviously the real I mean as we know from
the book.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Right, Like Charles is just like I even trying to
keep up here.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, he's just like my twots are. And I mean
all so though I think the Kate Meghan thing is
there's obviously I mean, you want to go back and
listen to episod about Harry.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
There's a huge attackt the wedding where Kate.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Says, like, you don't know me well enough to ask
about my hormones.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
So private.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Still, it's so funny because like Megan ultimately is just like.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
She's the seventh fleet on suits.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So she's like she's this basic bitch yoga wife, American Chica.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Like it's just aviators like being like hey girl, like
how's it going like with your marriage?
Speaker 3 (24:31):
And I do think this all speaks to Meghan's like
journey of being like I'm dealing with my dad and stuff.
I'm processing my relationship with my father. By writing this
book about how fathers are good.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I'm proving how in love with my husband, but also
how much we are a team because they're very like
parenting is a team.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Everything is because with his whole book, it was like
he basically created this whole narrative and like made her
the new Diana. How she was like the victim and
they had to leave because no one understood them and
they were under attack, and like it's them against the world,
and they have seen with their own lord. That's with
their own lord. And we had to move America to
start a podcast company that they've already like.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
That it's already out of business.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Business.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Well, if we can't have a podcast, can we have
a children's book?
Speaker 3 (25:13):
And they got like twenty million to do eleven episodes
of a podcast.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
And now the podcast company is exuing them and they're
acting like they've never even heard of They were like.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
What are you talking?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
They're like, sorry, we're busy.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Passionate communities fifteen minutes outside of the Bowing campus anyway.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
So the bench is like she's obviously trying to be grounded,
and the bench is a form of grounded. There's the
city and a bench, I think is a lot public space.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So it's ultimately like this public American like political thing
of like Elizabeth Warren, I want to invest fifty million
dollars into a public green space.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
And the irony is America is like so much America,
so much less public space.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
We're all about having big private spaces.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
And she later she has been in this like Montcito
compound now for like the past two years.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Love to see her in a public space.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Literally, bitch, when are you on a park bench? Okay,
so the next page we have a father of color
with the matching baby.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Like matching baby. It looks like he's lying down on
a bench taking a nap.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Again outdoors from here you will rest see the growth
of our boy.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Here's the thing about just the logistics of this. Usually
you don't see someone on a public bench with.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
A with loose baby.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
They are sleep on.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's a little bit like that's a concern.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Usually a concern.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
It's usually like an older man, no baby, a few
bags maybe, not like a hip warby proper call our
loose baby, like in a hammock.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, in your beautiful craftsman backyard.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yes, maybe, And then the mom is being like, oh
my god, there's so cute. Okay, next bench, he'll learn to.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Ride a bike as you watch on with pride. Now
this makes more sense to me.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, so this is back to seeming like public bench.
Maybe it could be like school bench. It's like a
newer bench with metal.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, like a little more restoration hardware, no edges, but
no back It's a dad with a yetti and a backpack.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
No, maybe a briefcase.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I think that's a big briefcase.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Okay, so he's coming from me.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
He's got like the yetti like coffee mug and he's like,
come on, Bud, and Bud is a little helmet and
a little bike.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Where did you learn how to bike.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Ride in Newton, Massachusetts where I grew up?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Okay, like on the street or do you go to
like a park first?
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And then I just learned it on the street. I
think I did the normal, like I had training wheels,
and then I remember there was one like birthday, like
I got like a bike that was like, ah, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
My god, I wanted to huffy yeas big fi.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
It's so birthday to get a big huffy with the
like streamers on it. And you're like, but I wasn't
being so like idyllic riding bikes around all like my childhood.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I wasn't so like so now and then you're like sugar, Sugar,
You're like getting a cone and then like the big
bullies stole your bike.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
He stole my bike because.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I feel like it wasn't like allowed to bike to
school because I remember walking to school a lot, like
in elementary school, but not biking, which seems kind of random.
But maybe I like didn't know how to bike it.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, maybe they didn't trust you with the bike.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
It seems like that would have been a lot easier.
So that walk to school was like so long.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Damn they were putting you through.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
It was a thirty minute walk. That's how father's and
he's watching me on a bench.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Okay, second page. This is like a concrete bench. This
looks like it could be actually a little bit more
from a sculpture park. Yeah, and it's a white kind
of indie light other in brown shorts and a stripe shirt.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
And flip flops. Okay, he'll run and he'll keep he's
doing every other summer. He's very over the summer. He'll
run and he'll fall and he'll take it in stride
and he's like repairing a booboo on the little child.
He's got like the big bottle of hydrogen peroxide and
the van dam thing.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
This is very like also telling the story of like, oh,
fathers are prepared. It's not just the wife who has
the bag of stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
The father's bringing hydrogen peroxide to high Park just in
case there's this scrape.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Huge old bottle of peroxide.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
I don't know in her fantasy. Yeah, well, because in
Megan's world, like the hydrogen peroxide's in the first eight
kit in one of the several SUVs that's accompanying them
to the party.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
It's like that father's running to one of the SUVs
being like a cut and then like assistant with huge.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Sunglasses is handing next bench.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Now this is an epic page, and this gets two pages. Yes,
because this is a statement, This is.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
A huge statement, and this is critical. You'll love him,
you'll listen, You'll.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Be his supporter, supporter. What could a father be.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Supporter of whatever you guys are imagining. It's probably pretty close.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Could it be a trans baby?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Could it be a father in a two two matching
with his tiny little gay sign.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Niney gay sended two too as well, being like I'll
grab my two.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Two yeah, so boys can be ballerina's ballerinas ballerina x'es
balarynxes welcome, and like the dad is like wearing a
tutu over his khakis to show that he's not actually
like a ballerina. He's just kind of like he's planning
it on to make his little faggot sound fel And.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I think you'll see those tiktoks that are like popill
be like my husband is like so hilarious, And it's
like a dad running a fake beauty salon with like
his three daughters, right.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
No, I mean there's nothing more attractive and a man
who's so comfortable in his heterosexuality that he can be
a little bit fam and let his daughters do his
makeup for TikTok.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
But it's crazy, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
It's like these days sometimes you'll still hear about a
father who's afraid of, you know, his child doing a
certain type of Halloween costume or something so crazy, so sad.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
This is why Megan wrote this book. It's just also
crazy to me.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I'm like that it's four fathers, that it's addressed to
fathers and not children. Yeah, it's insane.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
It's absolutely insane.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
And a wife is like picking it up and then
being like this is why, hey, babe, I got you
a present.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Man is like opening it. He's like, oh, yeth.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
But it's it's also so like, you know, the new
masculinity where it's like so much of the baby process
it's all about women. It's all about mothers. The baby
shower is all about the mom, like the bridal shower
is all about the mom. It's just like the whole
process of pregnancy, it's all your towards mother's. There's no
like social event around a guy's getting together for like
(31:58):
their dude is about to have a kid because they're
afraid guys don't get each other, like push presence.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Okay, let's start doing that, right, let's start to elevated.
I mean, I'm taking Meghan's advice, like.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Let's activate compassion for dad. So I don't know if
this is so her full mission, but like I think
she's imagining that like a wife, an expectant mother could
get this for her indie husband.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
And I actually think her indie husband like would love
it because I've you know, spoken to some indie husbands
and want children's No, but they've said, like I wish
I could, for example, breastfeed, right, Not because I want
huge knockers, right, It's like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
But I want to be able to participate in help, yes,
and like build that connection. And one way you can
help is by reading a children's book to yourself.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Now, of course, there was that man who I used
to work with who once told me a story about
how he really wanted to taste his wife's breast milk,
and he was like, she wouldn't give me a sip.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
That's so fucked up.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
It's so fucking twisted the wife. So here's a little
idea for a gift basket bottle bottle.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Bottle of your vest milk that says for Papa use only.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Instead of whiskey stones, milk stones, like big awesome sphere.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Of cold milk cold without it getting deluded. Okay, next shot,
when life feels in shampos, you'll help them find order.
And Daddy is now like gluing a like dinosaur on
what looks to be like a work bench that's actually
in the playroom.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
This to me feels like the most like kind of
classic child's like a kid who's reminiscent of Chucky from Rugrats,
but like the modern.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Version freckles and glasses and red hair.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
She's getting to be a little bit more realistic with
her bench use here where it's like we're not constantly
on at this public park doesn't exist like this is more.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Like you're at the house.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
You're at the house, you have like a bench in
the playroom.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
And this is like the ikea calyx.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Basically the collis. I don't know it's actually safe to
put your full body weight on a top of the
calyx if you think if you're just a oh it,
actually you can and actually know a gay who has
calyxes that he uses his benches in his house.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Really, yeah, you should give him this book.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I'm sure he'd appreciate it. Let's imagine her writing this book.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I feel like the illustrations must have come first, and
then she told an assistant what she wanted.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I could see her working closely with the illustrator over zoom.
And by closely, I mean like they had at least
like four meetings.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, four would be a lot.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
I think they had like an initial conversation that her
assistant like prepped for that was like, let's come up
with situations that could involve a bench, a father, and
a son. Like we've got three ingredients here, bench, father's son, go.
And her assistant came up with like twenty ideas.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Harry's been like, Babe, like do you want to watch
the new Gypsy Rose documentary and she's like, babe, I'm working.
She said skin and it says that the top bench
ideas under on underline and she's like, to too damp
child gets a cut, she's like actively kind of like
(35:14):
tapping her She's pen to her head.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
So tapping head and then being like child playing and
then realizing she already wrote that.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
She's cat child playing somewhere else. So we have never
watched suits until this book. Yeah, I've been binging it
and I feel like we used to roast people who
watch suits so much.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
So I watched an episode last night. She's doing what
I will describe as alarm clock acting, which is just
like when your alarm clock goes off and you're like, oh,
I'm late. All of her scenes are that where she's
always just like, I have this big case, I'm a
busy paralegal, and she's always like kind of flustered and like.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
It's very Canadian as well super Canadian.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
It's really mild. It's very bland.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
In the pilot which I watched, and then some other episodes.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
She's like, oh, I'm the hot one, but I'm also
smart and I know I'm hot and don't mess with me,
but like in the calmest way. And this guy's like,
oh my god, you're hot, and she's like, now that
we got that out of the way, give some kind
of like a smirk and it's like, and by the way,
stop hitting on me. He's like, I wasn't hitting on you,
(36:31):
and she's like, I've given a hundred tours of this
law office. You can't get anything by me. No.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Everyone on the show is like sassier and more like
canniving and like more plot driven than her, and she
is just there, but like then she's also like the
love interest and she's doing Pelico stuff. The episode I
watched was like about her being like so stressed about
like going to law school but also working at the
firm and just being like, wait, can I have a
day off? I'm sorry and it wi'll be one day
off and he was like, no, you can't have a
(36:59):
day off. If you can't figure out how to work,
don't do it. And then she's like, oh kay, forget
I said anything.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
But then there was the scene I saw later on
where it's like she's trying to be conniving with one
of the conniving Bosses, where she again is so slightly sassy,
where she's like, oh, and by the way, you're going
to pay my way through law school, but it's very
like high school acting.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, she's like, by the way, you are going to
pay my way through law school.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
Also, everything on that show is like grayscale. It's all
just like white black gray. All the interiors are just
like black leather, white walls, white walls, like it's white leather.
I know.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
The show is literally called Suits, but the way they're
all very much like I'm standing up super straight because I'm.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
In a suit, you know. I Mean the concept is
they're wearing.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
And it's like, we get it, you're wearing your suit.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
There's the sea where it's her like boyfriend and her
and they're app they're like totally unrealistically huge apartment in Manhattan. Oh,
and like she's just like, oh, I'm doing so much
work and she's like writing on a laptop with a pen,
and like her boyfriend comes up and he's like rubbing
her shoulders and he's just like, be real nice if
we could go lie down together. And then she's just like,
(38:15):
I'm working. I'd like that too, with that bag gated
and like that's it, and that's her supposed to be
being like, uh, like I want to have sex with you,
but I'm so busy. I'd like that too. Period period.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
When this kiss happens with the boyfriend, it's like her
version of L word where it's kind of like this
really small kiss and then she walks away and she's
kind of like unsteady, like she's supposed to be like
so shaken by it, Like fuck, that.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Was a kiss. I didn't I didn't hate it.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I was I didn't hate so too.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
I was like, this is so funny how it is
being like ultimately twenty twelve TV of like Sassy Lawyer
show where we're all like talking really fast and.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
No one famous, like everyone's like this very interchangeable, like
forgettable kind of face.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Right and being like da da duah, didn't know my
morning was starting with napalm and it was on Hey.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Harvard, No, Like all they're like confrontations, like everyone's like
kind of barely acting but being mean and just being
just like, oh, you think you're gonna walk into my
courtroom with that bag of tricks and get away with it? Yeah?
I think I just did. You're like Oover, and like
it was part of this like raft of shows that
(39:33):
was just like necessary roughness that was about like a
sports medicine doctor and like burn Notice and then like
also like Royal Pains, which is about like a doctor
the doctor, and they're all also like someone who's like
good at their job and a little bit sassy.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Also kind of I would say psych is of a
way funnier for us defenders.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
No one cares.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
I'm just saying, like USA was this place for like
we're being sassy with actors no one knows, and the
sass is medium, but we're all like so they all
think we're super quippy.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Right, and they're just like this show I can barely
keep it and it's like, yeah, if you're sixty five.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
It's fast talking for sixty five year olds.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
But then you sent me the blooper Real Megan Markle's
best bloopers from Suits, and I was kind of like, honestly,
she's fun Like she wasn't being funny. It was like
kind of other people being funny in the bloopers, but
like she was like laughing with the best of them,
and I was like, honestly, this is a fun workplace.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I thought it's a fun workplace, and I think it
was because no one was super famous.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Wasn't the Friends cast? You know, it was like we're
just a workplace.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Like the steak's being so low when you're in an
ensemble like a USA show is kind of wonderful.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
And now those suits, since it became on Netflix, I
think like teens are watching it, which is funny.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
It's having to run.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
It's having like a teen run a suit of sons,
the sudosans.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
But it did remind me that I think like ultimately,
like you know, if Hate is like the modern British
woman who's like uptight and like kind of had a
boring job, like Megan Markle is like the modern American
woman who is just like prettier and more fun and
more chill and like.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Yes, laugh at a dirty not make it, yes, but
she'll laugh at it.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
And she's not gonna be like you're not allowed to
talk about hormones please. I'm like, ultimately, like there was
always going to be this you know, violent collision between
tradition and modernity when she rolled into town, and just
why like.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I'll hop on good reads and honestly defend Megan any day. Like,
I do think the Queen was absolutely rude to.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
Her, But I like people are like, Okay, she's the
cunning girl boss who took down an empire.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
She inflacacts, people are projecting onto her net.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I think people are understanding that, like, she is a
basic we turned her into a girl boss. Yeah, okay,
she was ray Bands and cut off short an ensemble cast.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
But this is why I think being annoyed at her
is like somewhat legitimate, because I'm just like, even though
she's this fun ray Bands girl, she like became so
like maniacal, but her girl boss may and was like,
I need to like become like the most global victim
ever and then use that to start like a twenty
million dollar podcast business launched my insane new jam business.
(42:15):
American Riviera or tid that makes no sense.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Well, I think what is about It's.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Like and be like miss America all a sudden.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Cool, funky girlfriend who used to go out for rose
all day is all of a sudden, is like because
they forced her, the society of the Crown has forced
her into girl bossery and then they're also mad at
her for becoming a girl boss, but they made her.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Be a girl boss.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
But I think her girl Boss d was actually I
think she saw a chance the crown as a chance
to be more I think the girl Bossy was more
American at first because she had launched the Tig before.
Was that her blog that was her blog that also
travel blog. Yes, that also sold like a bag that
was called like the Tig the.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Tick because I wouldn't even call a travel bag.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
That's where basic to me, Like not that being a
girl boss isn't basic, but the difference between.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Having any ravel dog. But I think it was like
proto girl boss. And then when she got to the palace,
they were kind of just like babe, like there's no
podcast studio here, and she was a little bit like,
oh wait, wait way, what do you mean last my thing?
Speaker 2 (43:18):
It is like I'm annoyed by her, but I also
defend her because I'm like a royal woman of contradictions. No.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
I love that, like she is fun and sassy, and
I do think it's sad that, like, you know, Britain
is so stuffy that they can't handle that they can't
handle it.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
And then that she thought she had to be now
like serious, but like there is like this girl you know,
that was fun.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
And then she gets like married to like a rich guy,
so she feels like she has to do something like
good with the money.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yeah, and then she actually does something just worse and
it becomes a little bit like tonight was so fun
but leaves after ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
Yeah, and you're just like, uh, I miss likes Mega,
I having like one glass of wine and laughing at
someone else's eat jokes but not making them.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
And by the way, the jam it's not sold in stores.
I saw Mindy Kayling receive the jam. That was the
first time I saw the jam. As Mindy Kayling post
has said Megan, thank you so much for the jam.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Basically they only made enough to give out to her
influencer friends. And again the brand is called American Riviera Orchard.
It is the longest name ever. It's just like you
could have stopped that American Riviera or maybe done American Orchard,
but American Riviera Orchard, it's so like embodies the sort
of contradictions of the Canadian American like British ex princess
(44:39):
who's still calling herself a princess, where it's just like,
what are you trying to be here?
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Because American riviera makes it sound too southern.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Well, I think it makes it sound like it's trying
to be too glam because the riviera is like European glamor,
and then American riviera is.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Why I think that is because I think it's kind
of southern to like call a swamp the riviera.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Oh, because people call like destiny or whatever.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, like redneck riviera.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Right, And she's trying to not be you're.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Saying is what she thinks she's doing.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
She thinks since Europe it's actually a little more Jimmy
Buffett to be like, right, we're ail and.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
But then Orchard is her being like, no, it's so
farm to table, and it's just like, ultimately, this is
three multi syllabic words, and it's actually like, this is
a crazy name for a brand. It does not flow
off the tongue at all.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
No, I don't think many killing is saying it aloud.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
And so they like already reserve patents for so many
things for like jams and pillows and like bed sheets
and like maybe a bench also, and so she has
this plan, but it's just kind of like okay, yeah, wallpaper,
yoga equipment, fragrances, gardening gear, non medicated skincare preparations, bath
(45:51):
and shower gels, not for medical purposes.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Then she's getting full Justica Elba right where she's like,
let's just take pattents out on everything and see what works.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
So every non medical salt at the wall and stands.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's like, just release the jam first.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Okay, we do have to get to the book. Blah
blah blah. There's more benches. Wait, I did want to
talk about that indoor bench that was like the bench
has drop zone. Oh yeah, because there's one bench that's
inside where it's like a kid is taking.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Off his even talk about she has a veteran.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
There's like an army, there's a man, and there's also
a disabled dad who's helping his kid on the bench
at the drop zone bench put on his shoes. The
only scene though, where a woman appears.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
She's sobbing seeing her army husband read full Camo Reunite
with the sun on a bench.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
And it's like we're straining the bench motif so hard.
What's this random bench? And she's watching from the window
over the flower boxes too, right, But you're like, no,
I want to watch the reunion.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Because it looks like he's dropped his bag, like he
is getting out of the car, dropped the bag.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
Reunion, And there's this back from like this sort of
this outdoor furniture red bench and.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
Maybe he painted before he left for the barracks, and
like the kid was reading.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
And this dad is kind of a redhead like Harry. Again.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Well then I was like, well, Harry was in the army,
so that's also kind of a right throwback.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
And then it's like we're back to these just sort
of general outdoor bunches, face benches, don't know where they are.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Funny enough, at the end, we're back at Harry because
there's two dogs and rescue chickens and Megan.
Speaker 3 (47:30):
We see the back of Meghan.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
We see her in a.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Garden in her American riviera orchard and she's not even
looking because she trusts her husband so much, yeah, to
be a good dad, to be a good dad, that
she can focus on the riviera, to be a boy dad,
and she can focus on her jam business and non
medicated salts.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Like the irony of her being like I'm an ex
princess who is still a duchess, thank you very much,
is it's so Marie Antoinette to be like and now
I'm doing my farm fantasy.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
And by the way, they keep on changing their website,
so their website is now called Sussex dot com the
Office of Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess
of Sussex, and it's a photo of them looking like
they're clapping at a ted talk as the home page.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Oh wait, yeah, they absolutely are at a dead.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Talk and I think it used to be called like
the Palace of Duchess stock com. Like they're on you rebrand.
You're kind of like no one knows and it's a
big deals to them, but it's just.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
They're always in like pre launch mode, and they've been
in this rollout for years now with the documentary and
the book, the podcast, like.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
In every other summer, stop launching.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
Stop launching. Nothing sticky, like take a beat, take.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
A bike ride, like you need to sit on a
goddamn bench. The Duke and Duchess segments, what does she eat?
Speaker 3 (49:06):
How does she live? Okay? As you said earlier, her
interior aesthetic is always a wedding venue.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Wedding venue, winery office.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Everything is like a lived based massive tables like archways
and its brick and it's stone and it's wood and
no one, no one's there and it's like rented for
the day. And there's cream furniture, and there's always like
a telegren. There's a TV in the corner, always.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Like yeah, there's TV crews.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
They're like, we haven't like sat down in days. There's
lesbian pas, there's walking talkies.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
And there's like a bouquet of lemons being delivered.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Oh, the citrus is flowing bumping.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
She's like there. I'm like, she's never like using the lemons.
There's just piles of lemons.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
I can't imagine her cutting a lemon and of exqueezing
into water. It's because there's already lemon water the slice
lemons in it.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
That seems insane to me cutting one lemon. Yeah, what
does she eat?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
I think she's like blending archie like some sweet potato.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
I definitely think Jennifer Garner is sending her Once upon
a Farm, Yes, for sure. And she's sending Jennifer Garner
American movie or orchard jam. Did you see Jen post
about it?
Speaker 2 (50:17):
No?
Speaker 1 (50:18):
So I'm saying I only summoned to kill who like
still is being so star over.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
Probably was literally like four jars.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Of jam that went out Mindy Tyler Prairie.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Oprah, and Oprah hasn't seen it yet. It's in some
pile of shit that she has, Kyle.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
I think, well, as we know, like she taught Harry
to cook chicken.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
Yeah, I'm remembering that story roast chicken, roast chicken where
he made it in his like basement apartment at like
Caldswell Palace.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
I'm like, I don't think they're cooking anymore. I think
it's just chef and it's.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
You, Juice, pretending to cook like you're coming over. She's like, oh,
I love to do like this easy chicken. And she's
just like moving a plate of where everything is like
pre made.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
And she's tossing the salad a fresh lettuce from her rivia.
What does she wear? Cream cream aviators, loose tops.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Because she used to be like more like Bolden. She's
always had the same sole where she's like kind of
skinny jeans that are like pre ripped and like kind
of a.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
She's very Maxmara, Yeah, and like like shiny dresses with belts.
Speaker 3 (51:25):
And tops that like are loose but tight.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Like loose around the bosom, tight a on the waist, yes.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
And like looser than the neck but tight on the
arms and like kind of like slinky loosey fast.
Speaker 1 (51:38):
Some of her outfits in suits were tight.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
And the whole show is her being like my face
is up here.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Yeah. Yes, she's wearing like pencil skirts and suits a
lot little tops.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
She doesn't wear a suit because she's not a lawyer yet.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
You know, I will say, she's really like and again
this is why Kate hates her, because she's so unequivocally
hotter than her and every way it's crazy where it's
like she has a very kind of easy, approachable American
beauty where it's.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Like a model and cosmobi it's so that el yes
it's l girl and like it's this American smile. Or
she's a little bit of freckles, a little bit of freckles.
She has a nice popular girl face.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
Yeah, nice, come over, sit at our table.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Come on, guys, she's new, she's new.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
What's her favorite thing to eat for lunch? Nice popular
girl face?
Speaker 1 (52:35):
And what does she how does she live?
Speaker 3 (52:39):
We just kind of did that.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Oh, so who are you in the book which dad
are you?
Speaker 3 (52:44):
Dad? Are you? Well? I'm not the ballerino because my
dad didn't support my three month by my career when
I was five. I mean he did not support it.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
You put on you could be the dad. You could
put on the two too.
Speaker 3 (52:57):
Oh my god, that would be so I'm supporting my
five year old. Yeah, and he wants to do ballet.
I feel like I would also just be like, I
don't know, babe, it's a lot of time. Are you
sure you want to do this? I feel like I'm
not such as stage one being like, oh my kids
need to be so like competitive classes, Like I feel
like it'd be more into them, just like doing like
(53:17):
baby rock gym or like doing I don't know, like
no classes. I just feel like ballet is so intense.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
It is very intense. It's so random. I went to
two ballet classes and then I was done.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Yeah. I mean I did it for like a month
when summer because I had this like gay fantasy of
being in ballet arena. But I was like it honestly
was way too crazy.
Speaker 1 (53:37):
I was like, oh, this is not I was like
the woman was mean. I was like one thing. I
was like, absolutely not I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
I kind of thought it was a little more just
like being gay and prancy even at five, Like they're
fucking like whipping those girls.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Like it's not scary Russian woman yelling.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
There's no like time in ballet when it's like fun.
Speaker 1 (53:56):
No, it's straight to business like you were four years old.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
That's the thing about all those like things where you
need to be small for like gymnastics, It's like they're
just mean to you from the beginning.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Because that's like your prime.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
Yeah. So no, I'm not putting it on the two.
Speaker 1 (54:07):
Okay, which thatdam I I think.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Wait, which benchure?
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Which am I?
Speaker 3 (54:15):
I mean I'm kind of the drop zone.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Yeah, I think your weight.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
You're the sideways calyx. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
I think I'm the one like helping put together like
play with like dinosaurs.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
Okay, I like I'm the one gluing back the dinosaur,
and I think that you're feeding the chickens. Yeah, because
I love livestock.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
I do love livestock, and I love like neglected animals.
That's true. I'm like, let's grab a bag of feet.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
But I'm also the woman crying through the window.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
No, I mean you're so sobbing at like a man
being a good father.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
Okay, Megan, Wow, what an interesting choice to write a
children's book.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
For as much as like I defend you, I'm also
just like this book so random, babe.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
It's just like add it to the pile of your
random business endeavors.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
One point five benches out of benches.
Speaker 3 (55:09):
It's a little bit like, yeah, I'm just like I
miss suits, Meghan.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
Sorry, let's go back to suits. Like, I think you
have more than this. It's like just men on benches.
Speaker 3 (55:19):
It's not enough one out of five.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
And I think like her products where she has too
many products.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
This should have just been about one dad, one dad,
one bench, one dad, one bench. Okay, thank you Megan,
you guys, thank you Meghan, thank you for listening. Happy
every other's.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
Happy, every other summer. We'll see you.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
Next week with the week after. But we will see
you next week if you subscribe to the VIP.
Speaker 3 (55:41):
Yellow So if you've started VIP, we'll see you next Friday.
If you don't, we'll see you in two wednesdays.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
Get that, got it right? For the price, bitch by
a calendar, write it down.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
That's the producer who resides in Sussex is Darby Masters.
Speaker 3 (55:58):
The bench was exact getive produced by Christina Everett. It
was supervisingly produced by Brucifer. The theme song was done
by such a good father. He's an incredible father. He's
been at war for several months, but he's still good dad.
He writes occasionally and his name is um Gold. Of course.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
Artwork was done by Teddy Blank, who was dethroned. This
podcast was originally co produced with Megan's former podcast partner Projects.
Find us on Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash CPC the pod.
Speaker 3 (56:31):
Line and please please review us because we have so
many haters in the tabloids and I would like you. Guys,
I'm asking you please just go read a review. It's
not that hard.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
It would be fun.
Speaker 3 (56:41):
It's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
We can do hard things. I love you, Love you,
Celebrity club.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh god, damn it, traffics.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Stupid, stupid Beth.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Okay, my curtsy, Oh, Duchess Megan, either.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Beyond the wild Berry in the plummet.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Hih.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Hi, I'm Beth with blue wott fieldberry jams.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Yeah, Hi, we know you're late. Bath. You can come
over in the waiting room or here, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah, Hi, Megan, Hi, Duchess.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Oh, you can call me Meghan. It's fine, Meghan the Dutch.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Sorry, Meghan the Duchess.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Just Meghan and Meghan. Yes, Beth, So good to.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Meet you in real life.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It's such a pleasure. I'm so looking forward to seeing
your wares and seeing what you've been putting together.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, I have an amazing collection of jams free of
course I put them together and I was in the
field plunging them with my feet.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
But really, this is you, and just know that, thank
you for saying that. I've just I've been on this
journey for so long and I've always wanted to do this.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You came to the right place. No one doesn't jam
better than me. Duchess Meghan, Megan, Megan. Okay, is Harry here?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
My husband is not here. Actually he's in Africa with
one of our charities.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Wonderful.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Your hair is so short, that's I think it's really cool.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
You know, safety first, right, I worked actually up in
northern California for a while, and actually I used to
work in wine and then I went to jam. My
hair was always in my face. You don't care, okay.
So these are the three we have that we talked
about in the zoom right.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Okay, so we've got the pluot.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
We have the Pluots, which I have to say my favorite,
and I know not everyone goes for them, but when
you said you wanted a plu Ot Jam you wanted
to remind people of home.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I thought that was so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Thank you so much forever and reading that. Do you
mind if I please?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
And I brought some gluten free crackers.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Oh awesome. Yeah, I know a lot of our customers
we are hoping that they'll be gluten free.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Here you go, broke, hold on, I have more.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I have more.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
It's really okay. I'm very just sort of placid about everything.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So this is the Pluot Jam gluten free cracker.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, hm.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
That's delicious. It really does taste like home and when
I say home, I mean a sort of mixture of Toronto, London, Montecito, Vancouver,
and Chicago, and a little bit of Florida as well.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes, yes, okay, so up next, let's get to it.
This is the orange marmalade. We're looking at this at
being the hero product.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Okay, yeah, I think orange might be a little intense
just as a color.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
We write that down my moleskin. Yeah, I may gray
be better.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Oh that sounds nice. Yeah, we're even a cream.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Okay, a cream cream marmalade. Okay, we might have just
some dying.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
A lighter color. Just thinking about people with different eye
conditions and what it might be like for them to
look at the jam.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We can go back to the test kitchen and try
to make a gray jam.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Okay, Well, last up, I want you to try this
really beautiful Humboldt fog.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I love fog with gray.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
The rubarb, which I know it's red.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
That could be intense, but I love the way the
word sounds ruebarb rubarb so fun.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Try to say up backwards barboo. You're hilarious.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I know I'm often noted for my sense of humor.
That's something my husband says he loves about me.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Can I say something? You guys are a beautiful couple.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Thank you so much, Beth, and I don't.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Follow all the hubbub.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I know you don't.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I don't, but you know, sometimes even in Whole Foods
they have a People magazine.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
And I don't look at it.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Oh, thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And I just want to say a big f you.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Sorry, I'm getting fired up here, big f you to
those crazy tabloid people because you and Dutch, you and
mister Duchess are such a beautiful couple.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Thank you, Thank you so much. Sorry how to get tired?
I really appreciate that. And I have nothing but just
a calm smile to return to your general goodwill that
you've bestowed upon me.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Okay, well, I don't want to waste any more of
your time. Do you have any of the notes that
we want to make the orange marmalad ray or cream?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, and then I think we'll go with the pluot
And then I didn't get a chance to really taste
the third one. But I'm just not even hungry anymore. Okay,
if we can get that into production, and you know,
at the end of the day, we may not even
end up releasing any of these jams, and none of
them may turn out to be in stores. But as
long as we have something we can take a photo of,
I think that'll be open.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Absolutely okay, and we'll make sure you get a package
to send a close friends.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
That would be essential. I have at least four perfect Yeah.
It's Tyler Perry and then his three assistants, Megan.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I can't thank you enough for taking time out of
your very busy schedule.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I'm honored to be working with you. Should I seeing
myself out.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
My gay assistant James will help you to your car.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Let me just zip up my professional teator.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends,
you filthy whose your husband's gone, and we've got books
and a bottle of wine to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books,
it's gossip. I'm shook its memoirs Martini, Celebrity Poop Club,
read it while it's hot.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Celebrity book Club.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I'll tell your secrets.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
We won't talk celebrity books. No boys are a loud cleo,
say it loud and pound. Celebrity book Club.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Buzz me in. I brought the queer voe.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Hey, that's else. Welcome to yet another edition of every other.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Summer hashtag every other summer the summer where we're putting
the week between episodes.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
This week goes between episodes, Mama, and what are two
weeks it's been?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh my god, it's been insane.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Rooftop parties, travel, not travel, road trip, relaxing, guard but
also all.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
That sticky, crazy summer stuff.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Air conditioners, breaking magazines, getting stuck to your skin and
some of the newsprint coming off.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Oh yeah, walking into an old navy just to take
a minute for yourself.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
And get in that cold, cold air con.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Buying an Alo Planet home depot so you can have
a fresh source of Alo to rub on your sunburn wounds.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
I haven't gone sunburn yet this summer, and I'm really hoping.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Oh that this will be the summer of not being burned. Yeah,
I'd love to see it. Okay, you're going to have
to really slather it on, mama.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh yeah, Alo.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I just got in my fab Fit Fun Box, which,
as you know, I do get every season for free
because I worked for them and I'm just still getting
a big pile of crap for women every three months.
Pile of crap for women. And I got that brand Vacation,
which is this kind of that like retro branded sunscreen brand. Yes,
it's very like the brand for brands Strata, just because
(08:02):
it's so like we got it, you're branding. It's very
mad and they do like the Apple garmand very kind
of like tight tight like long Sarah font but then
also like a script just being like now more than
ever or just what's the SPF on it? So it's
like their face stuff. And it's like specifically a face spray. Oh,
(08:22):
and it's want to say, it's fifty.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Fifty face spray.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, sounds nice, which I'm excited to use because I
think it's a good for touchups at the beach.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Well, I mean that's the biggest problem.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
You're sloth, the hands are sandy at that point you're
slathering on the face.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Yeah, I think the spray might actually be nice. But
it's not like a huge aerosol can.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
It's like a small, siny, little like Q can you're
putting in. It's not sore man, person you just purchased.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
It's the size of like I don't know, like it's
a little bit larger than a glue stick. It's maybe
a double glue stick as big as a double glue stick.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
That's so funny.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
We're making jokes about like tick size and stuff like
that and products because that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Reminds me of a scene in Suits.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I just watch.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
My Summer Practices.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I've been binging this show Suits, starring the Duchess Magan Markle.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, let's say it. We read her book.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
We read her book, and you may be like, wait, what,
Meghan has a memoir, you guys, it's summer.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Okay, So we read her children's book that's actually not forgids.
It's a children's book for fathers.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Fathers to like prep and feel like calm and.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Like empowered about their impending fatherhood.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, because we need to lift up our fathers and.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Like subtly tell the fathers that their wives will be
attracted to them if they are a good father, Like,
please be a good father.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I like you will get laid more if I see
you being a good father.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, and it's kind of just like it is that true?
Is that true? Show me the receipts, mom, we'll discuss.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Her book is called called The Bench by Meghan Camma, Mamma.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
The Duchess of Sussex.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I guess I didn't realize.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
You know, I'm not your total grammar girl, and I'm not.
I didn't realize that it would be Meghan Comma the Duchess.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
As opposed to what just Meghan the Duchess.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Kind of like Megan thee Stallion. Just like Meghan the Duchess.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Oh yeah, why doesn't Meghan the Stallion have an Oxford Comma?
Megan Megan Comma the Stallion.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Now, if you don't know who Meghan the Duchess is,
why don't I just read her bio?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Wait? Wait, what's the.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Meghan Comma, the Duchess of Sussex is a mother, wife,
feminist and activist.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Oh right, okay, right, Oh that mother? Yeah, I know
that mother.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Through the nonprofit work of the Archwelth Foundation, she and
her husband no name. She and her husband are committed
to activating compassion in communities across the world. Committed to
activating compassion.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
What are you and your husband like to do?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Fun? We love to commit to activate.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Compassion in communities. Oh, I think this weekend we're probably
just gonna lay low low.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Compassion. She currently resides in her home state of California
with her family, two dogs and a growing flock of
rescue chickens.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Squawk, squawk, rescue chickens and.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Like rescue chickens.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Does that mean that they were rescued from like an purdue,
like a Purdue and they just like someone did a
jail break and in so chicken run and like get
the chickens, like nine chickens escaped and some homemade way
to the Montecito ranch that SE's leasing from Oprah.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, is this we're trying to connect with Harry being
so Wallace in Gramaed and chicken run and like British
like or is.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
The rescue chicken more? Just like there's kind of a
farm that's fallen into disrepair, like in Greater Oxnar to California,
and it's like kind of this just like trashy family.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I think it's both because when I went to this
like animal sanctuary by my mom's house, like everyone had
each animal had a bio and it said this goat
or this chicken came from like a horrible neglect situation,
and you're kind of like, what's going on with goat neglect?
Like are you saying it was like an old man
(12:42):
that couldn't handle it or was it like a weird
petting zoo.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, it could be a totally abusive petting zoo, or
it could.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Be cockfights and like in California.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Yeah, it's like these Tijuana like cockfights and there's all
these chickens and cages that they're like maybe raising for
the fact. It's just the thing about chickens is I'm
just kind of.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Like they're everywhere.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Hey, they're everywhere, so I'm kind of like, what is
chicken neglect? It's just like there are just like wild chickens.
Like I was in Puerto Rico earlier this year, there's
fucking a rooster on every foot.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Well, those are.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Wild, so I don't think they need to be rescued
because they're already being so free range.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
So it's about a chicken that's like actively being abused
in like a small cage. But it's like that's also
all chickens.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Unless they are a free range like from like a
beautiful farm.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Right, the norm is actually chickens being horrifically abused.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Right, So I guess there's so many chickens too, But
it's like, right, she going to like this perdue factory
and being.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Like I'll take three.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
I think the fantasy of the Rescue Chicken is that
it's like this abusive, like blonde, legally blonde like and
it's like so like yeah, Donald's this like evil trailer
park drunk dat like molest uncle.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
It's like big glasses and he's like, I'm about to
make million dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
On these chickens.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, and he's like doing this like really put them
to Tessin. Yeah. Also, I'll say this about the Rescue Chickens,
is it is so her doing her cottage core fantasy. Yes,
and like she is being so marinto anat because like
she is like other women we recently discussed a woman
of many contradictions of.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Like someone of stature who is either with like like
Libby with a general or married to a former prince.
Those are the women of contradictions because it's like her
wife of powerful men.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Because like it's easy to sort of tar her as
a hypocrite and we have to just been the whole
episode doing that, but like, you know, you can get
it out of the way. It's like obviously, like the
book is literally by Megan, the Duchess of Sussex and
her whole thing was like grieving the monarchy. But but
I am going to be and I was reading the
Goodreads before, like the views of this there's like so
many haters and so many lovers, and it's like she's
(14:56):
such a flashpoint.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
No, it's it's very you'll love. Yeah, let me hate me.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I Like someone has just being like, well, if she
didn't say duchess, then people will be mad at her,
like for pretending like she wasn't a duchess.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
And like not honoring the fact of like she would
have never gotten a book right from just being so
the haters will be the haters will hate.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Oh yeah, when you're the seventh lead on suits, like
you're getting a children's bo like we.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Have read so many random memoirs.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
No, it's possible they're handing out memborist.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
But then her defenders, I'm sure, like, well, this is
a beautiful message and we should like honor her.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
I mean some of the defenders were just like, I
know you're not supposed to read a book without reviewing it,
but I'm gonna review this book without reading it because
you know what, there's too many Megan haters in the reviews.
So they were just admitting that they were just being they.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Haven't read it, and they came here to defend.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
But good Reads is one of the craziest places on
planet wild West.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Over there there are people are so committed, like actually
settle the fuck up. But people were also having read
it leaving bad reviews, being like, this book is literally
bad and says nothing and has no plot and has
like no purpose at all, And it's also weirdly for
fathers even though it's supposed to be for kids. But
then some people being like, this book has such a
(16:19):
beautiful message and the illustrations like do such a good
job of like showing different fathers, different fathers in different situations. Fathers, by.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
This book is full of diverse fathers.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Okay, let's just kind of go to the The first.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Page is because it's called the bench, and that's a
metaphor for dads sitting on benches with you.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, it's not even so much a metaphor as it
is just like literally.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
It's dad's take dead children to the sitting on benches.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
It's supposed to be like this device that's like about
how there's this constant throughout the process of raising a
child in which like you'll take a seat and kind
of take stock.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Of what's happening in the moment, whether it's you're at.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
The park, sort of like our listeners are doing in
every other summer where they just sort of sit down
on a van and take stock.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Like maybe they're on a walk or something like that,
and they're on this like summer city stomp. But then
they get kind of sweaty and they're like, you know what,
let me just.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Get off a gatto.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
So I feel like we can basically read the whole book.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, let's do it, Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
The first beautiful illustration is of a redheaded dad, red
headed dad with a scruffy beard, wearing a short seat
gray T shirt so we know Harry famously has that
shirt that says girl dad.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Right, that's like a heathered gray tea.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
And he's like in jeans, probably in like a rag
and bone paper denim here.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
And it's kind of that too last sick like gestural
watercolor child book illustration style that's.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Been hot for the passage Run by a Man Baby
twenty years because we're honoring fathers.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Christian Robinson, who won the Kreta Scott King Illustrator.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
She's celebrating black leadership and children's illustrations.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
For sure, and like raising up fathers, yes.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And being really horny for.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Fathers and like also before we read it, it's like.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So much preamble for the seven page book, Like.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I just feel like you hear over and over like
women like kind of like nineties rom com like a
woman seeing like a steady guy and being like, there
is nothing sucksier than what a man you can tell
he's going to be a really good father someday.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Hey, when you can tell he's gonna be a good father.
But of course the jackpot for single women in their
thirties and rom coms is a single to add it's
a guy with the baby born. And then she clocks
no ring.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And like she sees him, she's like, oh, your wife
must be so happy that you're taking little Isabella out
to the park, right, And he says.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Oh, actually I'm unmarried.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I'm widowed.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yeah, widowed is.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
The best because that you don't have the ex wife
or we're actually divorced. So I have Isabella this weekend.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I savor these moments, save these moments with her goes.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
By so fast, and then it's great because then you
as their girlfriend can be like, oh great, we still
get like every other weekend, right.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You're like, I get to see him being a girl
father of a daughter, girl dad.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
But then we can have the groanies every other weekend
when his bitch ex wife bitch.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Okay, this is your bench where life will begin for
you and our son, our baby are can.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
And let's just say the bench is sort of in
the middle of a park. Yeah, but it could maybe
be like a really nice backyard.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
This first page is of Harry is their huge backyard.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I don't think this, oh this is this is that frogmore?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, this is this is not a public bench.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
This is like a British bench under my favorite tree
where my mother brought me.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Right, okay, next page, now we have this is your
and whereia witness great joy. And we're looking at a
craftsman with a porch.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I want to say almost maybe like in a Portland Washington.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Say Portland or Washington.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, maybe beautiful craftsmen not too big, you.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Know, like Cemetery Hill in Tacoma. I think it's a
neighborhood that we're looking at right now. You can get
a good deal on it.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Two bedroom craftsmen, maybe Beacon Hill in Seattle.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
And it's got a swinging porch.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
It is a new swinging porch like something the Two
Twins and how that HGGV show would be, Like what
if we put in a porch swing.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
And the colors are so like Pacific Northwest like this
kind of olive green. It's just so funny because I
do feel like because now she's like a readopted American
where she's American then became Canadian, then became British and
I was American again, and she's like, I am celebrating
American suburbia, but like not Trump's America.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Like this is like a This is celebrating like sub
liberal liberal suburbs right outside of a city, yes, where
you could be like, oh my commune is actually fifteen
minutes yeh hashtag fifteen minute commute.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
To the Boeing campus periods not forty three. This is
your bench will you'll witness great joy and again And
now I can see that the father looks to be
the father of a mixed race child. It's like so subtle, but.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Okay, so maybe now this is her father.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Right well, but I feel like the thing that colors
this whole book.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Oh right, her father's is like she has.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
An insanely strange relationship her father. Now Harry has this
insanely at strange relationship from his father, the king, the King, Oh,
the King. Oh, he's a father and climate activist. I
don't know if you know him.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
He begnds with his partner, Camilla.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Camilla, and they're two dogs.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
There's seven non rescue courgies.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Cet.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
I do feel like this whole book is either like
an attempt. It's like wish fulfillment that she actually did
have a good relationship with her father and that like
Harry and his father did have a good relationship, or to.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Me, this is more of a fuck you actually to
both the fathers and say we're of a modern parentship. Yes,
our fathers are hanging out with our children.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Right. Well, it's kind of like the Kelly Clarkson.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Song which one Stephen by the way, former member of
the Kelly Clarkson Street.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Cut of piece by piece. It's kind of a letter
kiss off letter to her dad being like he'll never
ask for money. He's not just going to come into
my life when it's convenient for him, Like he's going
to be there for our daughter, ironically than her and
random Black Suck did get divorced.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
And of course he's been basically robbing or robbing her.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, so she kind of spoke too soon with that song,
But like, I do see your point that it's kind
of that, But I also don't you think underlying that
is right.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
It's because I think she was very sad, Like she
had many meetings with her like and she'd be dad like.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Didn't we talk about this in the Harry episode though,
But like she was like a daddyist girl. I think
they used to be close, and it's the same thing
with Harry where it's like the dad's always calling him
like Madonie doling boy, and so like there is this
great rift.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, I almost wonder if, like after Megan and her
father had their kind of separation, Harry was like, Okay,
we're in it together, and like now I have to
also have this separation with my dad. And I think
just Charles is just like old and British and he
like kind of like didn't get what was happening in
(23:44):
the real fight honestly is kind of between Meiam and Harry.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
That's obviously the real I mean as we know from
the book.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Right, Like Charles is just like I even trying to
keep up here.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, he's just like my twots are. And I mean
all so though I think the Kate Meghan thing is
there's obviously I mean, you want to go back and
listen to episod about Harry.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
There's a huge attackt the wedding where Kate.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Says, like, you don't know me well enough to ask
about my hormones.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
So private.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Still, it's so funny because like Megan ultimately is just like.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
She's the seventh fleet on suits.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So she's like she's this basic bitch yoga wife, American Chica.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Like it's just aviators like being like hey girl, like
how's it going like with your marriage?
Speaker 3 (24:31):
And I do think this all speaks to Meghan's like
journey of being like I'm dealing with my dad and stuff.
I'm processing my relationship with my father. By writing this
book about how fathers are good.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I'm proving how in love with my husband, but also
how much we are a team because they're very like
parenting is a team.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Everything is because with his whole book, it was like
he basically created this whole narrative and like made her
the new Diana. How she was like the victim and
they had to leave because no one understood them and
they were under attack, and like it's them against the world,
and they have seen with their own lord. That's with
their own lord. And we had to move America to
start a podcast company that they've already like.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
That it's already out of business.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Business.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Well, if we can't have a podcast, can we have
a children's book?
Speaker 3 (25:13):
And they got like twenty million to do eleven episodes
of a podcast.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
And now the podcast company is exuing them and they're
acting like they've never even heard of They were like.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
What are you talking?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
They're like, sorry, we're busy.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Passionate communities fifteen minutes outside of the Bowing campus anyway.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
So the bench is like she's obviously trying to be grounded,
and the bench is a form of grounded. There's the
city and a bench, I think is a lot public space.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So it's ultimately like this public American like political thing
of like Elizabeth Warren, I want to invest fifty million
dollars into a public green space.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
And the irony is America is like so much America,
so much less public space.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
We're all about having big private spaces.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
And she later she has been in this like Montcito
compound now for like the past two years.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Love to see her in a public space.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Literally, bitch, when are you on a park bench? Okay,
so the next page we have a father of color
with the matching baby.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Like matching baby. It looks like he's lying down on
a bench taking a nap.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Again outdoors from here you will rest see the growth
of our boy.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Here's the thing about just the logistics of this. Usually
you don't see someone on a public bench with.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
A with loose baby.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
They are sleep on.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's a little bit like that's a concern.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Usually a concern.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
It's usually like an older man, no baby, a few
bags maybe, not like a hip warby proper call our
loose baby, like in a hammock.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, in your beautiful craftsman backyard.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yes, maybe, And then the mom is being like, oh
my god, there's so cute. Okay, next bench, he'll learn to.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Ride a bike as you watch on with pride. Now
this makes more sense to me.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, so this is back to seeming like public bench.
Maybe it could be like school bench. It's like a
newer bench with metal.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, like a little more restoration hardware, no edges, but
no back It's a dad with a yetti and a backpack.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
No, maybe a briefcase.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I think that's a big briefcase.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Okay, so he's coming from me.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
He's got like the yetti like coffee mug and he's like,
come on, Bud, and Bud is a little helmet and
a little bike.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Where did you learn how to bike.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Ride in Newton, Massachusetts where I grew up?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Okay, like on the street or do you go to
like a park first?
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And then I just learned it on the street. I
think I did the normal, like I had training wheels,
and then I remember there was one like birthday, like
I got like a bike that was like, ah, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
My god, I wanted to huffy yeas big fi.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
It's so birthday to get a big huffy with the
like streamers on it. And you're like, but I wasn't
being so like idyllic riding bikes around all like my childhood.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I wasn't so like so now and then you're like sugar, Sugar,
You're like getting a cone and then like the big
bullies stole your bike.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
He stole my bike because.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I feel like it wasn't like allowed to bike to
school because I remember walking to school a lot, like
in elementary school, but not biking, which seems kind of random.
But maybe I like didn't know how to bike it.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, maybe they didn't trust you with the bike.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
It seems like that would have been a lot easier.
So that walk to school was like so long.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Damn they were putting you through.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
It was a thirty minute walk. That's how father's and
he's watching me on a bench.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Okay, second page. This is like a concrete bench. This
looks like it could be actually a little bit more
from a sculpture park. Yeah, and it's a white kind
of indie light other in brown shorts and a stripe shirt.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
And flip flops. Okay, he'll run and he'll keep he's
doing every other summer. He's very over the summer. He'll
run and he'll fall and he'll take it in stride
and he's like repairing a booboo on the little child.
He's got like the big bottle of hydrogen peroxide and
the van dam thing.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
This is very like also telling the story of like, oh,
fathers are prepared. It's not just the wife who has
the bag of stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
The father's bringing hydrogen peroxide to high Park just in
case there's this scrape.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Huge old bottle of peroxide.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
I don't know in her fantasy. Yeah, well, because in
Megan's world, like the hydrogen peroxide's in the first eight
kit in one of the several SUVs that's accompanying them
to the party.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
It's like that father's running to one of the SUVs
being like a cut and then like assistant with huge.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Sunglasses is handing next bench.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Now this is an epic page, and this gets two pages. Yes,
because this is a statement, This is.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
A huge statement, and this is critical. You'll love him,
you'll listen, You'll.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Be his supporter, supporter. What could a father be.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Supporter of whatever you guys are imagining. It's probably pretty close.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Could it be a trans baby?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Could it be a father in a two two matching
with his tiny little gay sign.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Niney gay sended two too as well, being like I'll
grab my two.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Two yeah, so boys can be ballerina's ballerinas ballerina x'es
balarynxes welcome, and like the dad is like wearing a
tutu over his khakis to show that he's not actually
like a ballerina. He's just kind of like he's planning
it on to make his little faggot sound fel And.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I think you'll see those tiktoks that are like popill
be like my husband is like so hilarious, And it's
like a dad running a fake beauty salon with like
his three daughters, right.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
No, I mean there's nothing more attractive and a man
who's so comfortable in his heterosexuality that he can be
a little bit fam and let his daughters do his
makeup for TikTok.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
But it's crazy, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
It's like these days sometimes you'll still hear about a
father who's afraid of, you know, his child doing a
certain type of Halloween costume or something so crazy, so sad.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
This is why Megan wrote this book. It's just also
crazy to me.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I'm like that it's four fathers, that it's addressed to
fathers and not children. Yeah, it's insane.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
It's absolutely insane.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
And a wife is like picking it up and then
being like this is why, hey, babe, I got you
a present.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Man is like opening it. He's like, oh, yeth.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
But it's it's also so like, you know, the new
masculinity where it's like so much of the baby process
it's all about women. It's all about mothers. The baby
shower is all about the mom, like the bridal shower
is all about the mom. It's just like the whole
process of pregnancy, it's all your towards mother's. There's no
like social event around a guy's getting together for like
(31:58):
their dude is about to have a kid because they're
afraid guys don't get each other, like push presence.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Okay, let's start doing that, right, let's start to elevated.
I mean, I'm taking Meghan's advice, like.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Let's activate compassion for dad. So I don't know if
this is so her full mission, but like I think
she's imagining that like a wife, an expectant mother could
get this for her indie husband.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
And I actually think her indie husband like would love
it because I've you know, spoken to some indie husbands
and want children's No, but they've said, like I wish
I could, for example, breastfeed, right, Not because I want
huge knockers, right, It's like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
But I want to be able to participate in help, yes,
and like build that connection. And one way you can
help is by reading a children's book to yourself.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Now, of course, there was that man who I used
to work with who once told me a story about
how he really wanted to taste his wife's breast milk,
and he was like, she wouldn't give me a sip.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
That's so fucked up.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
It's so fucking twisted the wife. So here's a little
idea for a gift basket bottle bottle.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Bottle of your vest milk that says for Papa use only.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Instead of whiskey stones, milk stones, like big awesome sphere.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Of cold milk cold without it getting deluded. Okay, next shot,
when life feels in shampos, you'll help them find order.
And Daddy is now like gluing a like dinosaur on
what looks to be like a work bench that's actually
in the playroom.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
This to me feels like the most like kind of
classic child's like a kid who's reminiscent of Chucky from Rugrats,
but like the modern.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Version freckles and glasses and red hair.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
She's getting to be a little bit more realistic with
her bench use here where it's like we're not constantly
on at this public park doesn't exist like this is more.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Like you're at the house.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
You're at the house, you have like a bench in
the playroom.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
And this is like the ikea calyx.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Basically the collis. I don't know it's actually safe to
put your full body weight on a top of the
calyx if you think if you're just a oh it,
actually you can and actually know a gay who has
calyxes that he uses his benches in his house.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Really, yeah, you should give him this book.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I'm sure he'd appreciate it. Let's imagine her writing this book.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I feel like the illustrations must have come first, and
then she told an assistant what she wanted.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I could see her working closely with the illustrator over zoom.
And by closely, I mean like they had at least
like four meetings.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, four would be a lot.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
I think they had like an initial conversation that her
assistant like prepped for that was like, let's come up
with situations that could involve a bench, a father, and
a son. Like we've got three ingredients here, bench, father's son, go.
And her assistant came up with like twenty ideas.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Harry's been like, Babe, like do you want to watch
the new Gypsy Rose documentary and she's like, babe, I'm working.
She said skin and it says that the top bench
ideas under on underline and she's like, to too damp
child gets a cut, she's like actively kind of like
(35:14):
tapping her She's pen to her head.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
So tapping head and then being like child playing and
then realizing she already wrote that.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
She's cat child playing somewhere else. So we have never
watched suits until this book. Yeah, I've been binging it
and I feel like we used to roast people who
watch suits so much.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
So I watched an episode last night. She's doing what
I will describe as alarm clock acting, which is just
like when your alarm clock goes off and you're like, oh,
I'm late. All of her scenes are that where she's
always just like, I have this big case, I'm a
busy paralegal, and she's always like kind of flustered and like.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
It's very Canadian as well super Canadian.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
It's really mild. It's very bland.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
In the pilot which I watched, and then some other episodes.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
She's like, oh, I'm the hot one, but I'm also
smart and I know I'm hot and don't mess with me,
but like in the calmest way. And this guy's like,
oh my god, you're hot, and she's like, now that
we got that out of the way, give some kind
of like a smirk and it's like, and by the way,
stop hitting on me. He's like, I wasn't hitting on you,
(36:31):
and she's like, I've given a hundred tours of this
law office. You can't get anything by me. No.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Everyone on the show is like sassier and more like
canniving and like more plot driven than her, and she
is just there, but like then she's also like the
love interest and she's doing Pelico stuff. The episode I
watched was like about her being like so stressed about
like going to law school but also working at the
firm and just being like, wait, can I have a
day off? I'm sorry and it wi'll be one day
off and he was like, no, you can't have a
(36:59):
day off. If you can't figure out how to work,
don't do it. And then she's like, oh kay, forget
I said anything.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
But then there was the scene I saw later on
where it's like she's trying to be conniving with one
of the conniving Bosses, where she again is so slightly sassy,
where she's like, oh, and by the way, you're going
to pay my way through law school, but it's very
like high school acting.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, she's like, by the way, you are going to
pay my way through law school.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
Also, everything on that show is like grayscale. It's all
just like white black gray. All the interiors are just
like black leather, white walls, white walls, like it's white leather.
I know.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
The show is literally called Suits, but the way they're
all very much like I'm standing up super straight because I'm.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
In a suit, you know. I Mean the concept is
they're wearing.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
And it's like, we get it, you're wearing your suit.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
There's the sea where it's her like boyfriend and her
and they're app they're like totally unrealistically huge apartment in Manhattan. Oh,
and like she's just like, oh, I'm doing so much
work and she's like writing on a laptop with a pen,
and like her boyfriend comes up and he's like rubbing
her shoulders and he's just like, be real nice if
we could go lie down together. And then she's just like,
(38:15):
I'm working. I'd like that too, with that bag gated
and like that's it, and that's her supposed to be
being like, uh, like I want to have sex with you,
but I'm so busy. I'd like that too. Period period.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
When this kiss happens with the boyfriend, it's like her
version of L word where it's kind of like this
really small kiss and then she walks away and she's
kind of like unsteady, like she's supposed to be like
so shaken by it, Like fuck, that.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Was a kiss. I didn't I didn't hate it.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I was I didn't hate so too.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
I was like, this is so funny how it is
being like ultimately twenty twelve TV of like Sassy Lawyer
show where we're all like talking really fast and.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
No one famous, like everyone's like this very interchangeable, like
forgettable kind of face.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Right and being like da da duah, didn't know my
morning was starting with napalm and it was on Hey.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Harvard, No, Like all they're like confrontations, like everyone's like
kind of barely acting but being mean and just being
just like, oh, you think you're gonna walk into my
courtroom with that bag of tricks and get away with it? Yeah?
I think I just did. You're like Oover, and like
it was part of this like raft of shows that
(39:33):
was just like necessary roughness that was about like a
sports medicine doctor and like burn Notice and then like
also like Royal Pains, which is about like a doctor
the doctor, and they're all also like someone who's like
good at their job and a little bit sassy.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Also kind of I would say psych is of a
way funnier for us defenders.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
No one cares.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
I'm just saying, like USA was this place for like
we're being sassy with actors no one knows, and the
sass is medium, but we're all like so they all
think we're super quippy.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Right, and they're just like this show I can barely
keep it and it's like, yeah, if you're sixty five.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
It's fast talking for sixty five year olds.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
But then you sent me the blooper Real Megan Markle's
best bloopers from Suits, and I was kind of like, honestly,
she's fun Like she wasn't being funny. It was like
kind of other people being funny in the bloopers, but
like she was like laughing with the best of them,
and I was like, honestly, this is a fun workplace.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I thought it's a fun workplace, and I think it
was because no one was super famous.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Wasn't the Friends cast? You know, it was like we're
just a workplace.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Like the steak's being so low when you're in an
ensemble like a USA show is kind of wonderful.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
And now those suits, since it became on Netflix, I
think like teens are watching it, which is funny.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
It's having to run.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
It's having like a teen run a suit of sons,
the sudosans.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
But it did remind me that I think like ultimately,
like you know, if Hate is like the modern British
woman who's like uptight and like kind of had a
boring job, like Megan Markle is like the modern American
woman who is just like prettier and more fun and
more chill and like.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Yes, laugh at a dirty not make it, yes, but
she'll laugh at it.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
And she's not gonna be like you're not allowed to
talk about hormones please. I'm like, ultimately, like there was
always going to be this you know, violent collision between
tradition and modernity when she rolled into town, and just
why like.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I'll hop on good reads and honestly defend Megan any day. Like,
I do think the Queen was absolutely rude to.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
Her, But I like people are like, Okay, she's the
cunning girl boss who took down an empire.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
She inflacacts, people are projecting onto her net.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I think people are understanding that, like, she is a
basic we turned her into a girl boss. Yeah, okay,
she was ray Bands and cut off short an ensemble cast.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
But this is why I think being annoyed at her
is like somewhat legitimate, because I'm just like, even though
she's this fun ray Bands girl, she like became so
like maniacal, but her girl boss may and was like,
I need to like become like the most global victim
ever and then use that to start like a twenty
million dollar podcast business launched my insane new jam business.
(42:15):
American Riviera or tid that makes no sense.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Well, I think what is about It's.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Like and be like miss America all a sudden.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Cool, funky girlfriend who used to go out for rose
all day is all of a sudden, is like because
they forced her, the society of the Crown has forced
her into girl bossery and then they're also mad at
her for becoming a girl boss, but they made her.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Be a girl boss.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
But I think her girl Boss d was actually I
think she saw a chance the crown as a chance
to be more I think the girl Bossy was more
American at first because she had launched the Tig before.
Was that her blog that was her blog that also
travel blog. Yes, that also sold like a bag that
was called like the Tig the.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Tick because I wouldn't even call a travel bag.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
That's where basic to me, Like not that being a
girl boss isn't basic, but the difference between.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Having any ravel dog. But I think it was like
proto girl boss. And then when she got to the palace,
they were kind of just like babe, like there's no
podcast studio here, and she was a little bit like,
oh wait, wait way, what do you mean last my thing?
Speaker 2 (43:18):
It is like I'm annoyed by her, but I also
defend her because I'm like a royal woman of contradictions. No.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
I love that, like she is fun and sassy, and
I do think it's sad that, like, you know, Britain
is so stuffy that they can't handle that they can't
handle it.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
And then that she thought she had to be now
like serious, but like there is like this girl you know,
that was fun.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
And then she gets like married to like a rich guy,
so she feels like she has to do something like
good with the money.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yeah, and then she actually does something just worse and
it becomes a little bit like tonight was so fun
but leaves after ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
Yeah, and you're just like, uh, I miss likes Mega,
I having like one glass of wine and laughing at
someone else's eat jokes but not making them.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
And by the way, the jam it's not sold in stores.
I saw Mindy Kayling receive the jam. That was the
first time I saw the jam. As Mindy Kayling post
has said Megan, thank you so much for the jam.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Basically they only made enough to give out to her
influencer friends. And again the brand is called American Riviera Orchard.
It is the longest name ever. It's just like you
could have stopped that American Riviera or maybe done American Orchard,
but American Riviera Orchard, it's so like embodies the sort
of contradictions of the Canadian American like British ex princess
(44:39):
who's still calling herself a princess, where it's just like,
what are you trying to be here?
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Because American riviera makes it sound too southern.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Well, I think it makes it sound like it's trying
to be too glam because the riviera is like European glamor,
and then American riviera is.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Why I think that is because I think it's kind
of southern to like call a swamp the riviera.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Oh, because people call like destiny or whatever.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, like redneck riviera.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Right, And she's trying to not be you're.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Saying is what she thinks she's doing.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
She thinks since Europe it's actually a little more Jimmy
Buffett to be like, right, we're ail and.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
But then Orchard is her being like, no, it's so
farm to table, and it's just like, ultimately, this is
three multi syllabic words, and it's actually like, this is
a crazy name for a brand. It does not flow
off the tongue at all.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
No, I don't think many killing is saying it aloud.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
And so they like already reserve patents for so many
things for like jams and pillows and like bed sheets
and like maybe a bench also, and so she has
this plan, but it's just kind of like okay, yeah, wallpaper,
yoga equipment, fragrances, gardening gear, non medicated skincare preparations, bath
(45:51):
and shower gels, not for medical purposes.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Then she's getting full Justica Elba right where she's like,
let's just take pattents out on everything and see what works.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
So every non medical salt at the wall and stands.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's like, just release the jam first.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Okay, we do have to get to the book. Blah
blah blah. There's more benches. Wait, I did want to
talk about that indoor bench that was like the bench
has drop zone. Oh yeah, because there's one bench that's
inside where it's like a kid is taking.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Off his even talk about she has a veteran.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
There's like an army, there's a man, and there's also
a disabled dad who's helping his kid on the bench
at the drop zone bench put on his shoes. The
only scene though, where a woman appears.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
She's sobbing seeing her army husband read full Camo Reunite
with the sun on a bench.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
And it's like we're straining the bench motif so hard.
What's this random bench? And she's watching from the window
over the flower boxes too, right, But you're like, no,
I want to watch the reunion.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Because it looks like he's dropped his bag, like he
is getting out of the car, dropped the bag.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
Reunion, And there's this back from like this sort of
this outdoor furniture red bench and.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
Maybe he painted before he left for the barracks, and
like the kid was reading.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
And this dad is kind of a redhead like Harry. Again.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Well then I was like, well, Harry was in the army,
so that's also kind of a right throwback.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
And then it's like we're back to these just sort
of general outdoor bunches, face benches, don't know where they are.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Funny enough, at the end, we're back at Harry because
there's two dogs and rescue chickens and Megan.
Speaker 3 (47:30):
We see the back of Meghan.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
We see her in a.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Garden in her American riviera orchard and she's not even
looking because she trusts her husband so much, yeah, to
be a good dad, to be a good dad, that
she can focus on the riviera, to be a boy dad,
and she can focus on her jam business and non
medicated salts.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Like the irony of her being like I'm an ex
princess who is still a duchess, thank you very much,
is it's so Marie Antoinette to be like and now
I'm doing my farm fantasy.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
And by the way, they keep on changing their website,
so their website is now called Sussex dot com the
Office of Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess
of Sussex, and it's a photo of them looking like
they're clapping at a ted talk as the home page.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Oh wait, yeah, they absolutely are at a dead.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Talk and I think it used to be called like
the Palace of Duchess stock com. Like they're on you rebrand.
You're kind of like no one knows and it's a
big deals to them, but it's just.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
They're always in like pre launch mode, and they've been
in this rollout for years now with the documentary and
the book, the podcast, like.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
In every other summer, stop launching.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
Stop launching. Nothing sticky, like take a beat, take.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
A bike ride, like you need to sit on a
goddamn bench. The Duke and Duchess segments, what does she eat?
Speaker 3 (49:06):
How does she live? Okay? As you said earlier, her
interior aesthetic is always a wedding venue.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Wedding venue, winery office.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Everything is like a lived based massive tables like archways
and its brick and it's stone and it's wood and
no one, no one's there and it's like rented for
the day. And there's cream furniture, and there's always like
a telegren. There's a TV in the corner, always.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Like yeah, there's TV crews.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
They're like, we haven't like sat down in days. There's
lesbian pas, there's walking talkies.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
And there's like a bouquet of lemons being delivered.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Oh, the citrus is flowing bumping.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
She's like there. I'm like, she's never like using the lemons.
There's just piles of lemons.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
I can't imagine her cutting a lemon and of exqueezing
into water. It's because there's already lemon water the slice
lemons in it.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
That seems insane to me cutting one lemon. Yeah, what
does she eat?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
I think she's like blending archie like some sweet potato.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
I definitely think Jennifer Garner is sending her Once upon
a Farm, Yes, for sure. And she's sending Jennifer Garner
American movie or orchard jam. Did you see Jen post
about it?
Speaker 2 (50:17):
No?
Speaker 1 (50:18):
So I'm saying I only summoned to kill who like
still is being so star over.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
Probably was literally like four jars.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Of jam that went out Mindy Tyler Prairie.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
Oprah, and Oprah hasn't seen it yet. It's in some
pile of shit that she has, Kyle.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
I think, well, as we know, like she taught Harry
to cook chicken.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
Yeah, I'm remembering that story roast chicken, roast chicken where
he made it in his like basement apartment at like
Caldswell Palace.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
I'm like, I don't think they're cooking anymore. I think
it's just chef and it's.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
You, Juice, pretending to cook like you're coming over. She's like, oh,
I love to do like this easy chicken. And she's
just like moving a plate of where everything is like
pre made.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
And she's tossing the salad a fresh lettuce from her rivia.
What does she wear? Cream cream aviators, loose tops.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Because she used to be like more like Bolden. She's
always had the same sole where she's like kind of
skinny jeans that are like pre ripped and like kind
of a.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
She's very Maxmara, Yeah, and like like shiny dresses with belts.
Speaker 3 (51:25):
And tops that like are loose but tight.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Like loose around the bosom, tight a on the waist, yes.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
And like looser than the neck but tight on the
arms and like kind of like slinky loosey fast.
Speaker 1 (51:38):
Some of her outfits in suits were tight.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
And the whole show is her being like my face
is up here.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Yeah. Yes, she's wearing like pencil skirts and suits a
lot little tops.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
She doesn't wear a suit because she's not a lawyer yet.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
You know, I will say, she's really like and again
this is why Kate hates her, because she's so unequivocally
hotter than her and every way it's crazy where it's
like she has a very kind of easy, approachable American
beauty where it's.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Like a model and cosmobi it's so that el yes
it's l girl and like it's this American smile. Or
she's a little bit of freckles, a little bit of freckles.
She has a nice popular girl face.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
Yeah, nice, come over, sit at our table.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Come on, guys, she's new, she's new.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
What's her favorite thing to eat for lunch? Nice popular
girl face?
Speaker 1 (52:35):
And what does she how does she live?
Speaker 3 (52:39):
We just kind of did that.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Oh, so who are you in the book which dad
are you?
Speaker 3 (52:44):
Dad? Are you? Well? I'm not the ballerino because my
dad didn't support my three month by my career when
I was five. I mean he did not support it.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
You put on you could be the dad. You could
put on the two too.
Speaker 3 (52:57):
Oh my god, that would be so I'm supporting my
five year old. Yeah, and he wants to do ballet.
I feel like I would also just be like, I
don't know, babe, it's a lot of time. Are you
sure you want to do this? I feel like I'm
not such as stage one being like, oh my kids
need to be so like competitive classes, Like I feel
like it'd be more into them, just like doing like
(53:17):
baby rock gym or like doing I don't know, like
no classes. I just feel like ballet is so intense.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
It is very intense. It's so random. I went to
two ballet classes and then I was done.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Yeah. I mean I did it for like a month
when summer because I had this like gay fantasy of
being in ballet arena. But I was like it honestly
was way too crazy.
Speaker 1 (53:37):
I was like, oh, this is not I was like
the woman was mean. I was like one thing. I
was like, absolutely not I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
I kind of thought it was a little more just
like being gay and prancy even at five, Like they're
fucking like whipping those girls.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Like it's not scary Russian woman yelling.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
There's no like time in ballet when it's like fun.
Speaker 1 (53:56):
No, it's straight to business like you were four years old.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
That's the thing about all those like things where you
need to be small for like gymnastics, It's like they're
just mean to you from the beginning.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Because that's like your prime.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
Yeah. So no, I'm not putting it on the two.
Speaker 1 (54:07):
Okay, which thatdam I I think.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Wait, which benchure?
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Which am I?
Speaker 3 (54:15):
I mean I'm kind of the drop zone.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Yeah, I think your weight.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
You're the sideways calyx. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
I think I'm the one like helping put together like
play with like dinosaurs.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
Okay, I like I'm the one gluing back the dinosaur,
and I think that you're feeding the chickens. Yeah, because
I love livestock.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
I do love livestock, and I love like neglected animals.
That's true. I'm like, let's grab a bag of feet.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
But I'm also the woman crying through the window.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
No, I mean you're so sobbing at like a man
being a good father.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
Okay, Megan, Wow, what an interesting choice to write a
children's book.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
For as much as like I defend you, I'm also
just like this book so random, babe.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
It's just like add it to the pile of your
random business endeavors.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
One point five benches out of benches.
Speaker 3 (55:09):
It's a little bit like, yeah, I'm just like I
miss suits, Meghan.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
Sorry, let's go back to suits. Like, I think you
have more than this. It's like just men on benches.
Speaker 3 (55:19):
It's not enough one out of five.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
And I think like her products where she has too
many products.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
This should have just been about one dad, one dad,
one bench, one dad, one bench. Okay, thank you Megan,
you guys, thank you Meghan, thank you for listening. Happy
every other's.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
Happy, every other summer. We'll see you.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
Next week with the week after. But we will see
you next week if you subscribe to the VIP.
Speaker 3 (55:41):
Yellow So if you've started VIP, we'll see you next Friday.
If you don't, we'll see you in two wednesdays.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
Get that, got it right? For the price, bitch by
a calendar, write it down.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
That's the producer who resides in Sussex is Darby Masters.
Speaker 3 (55:58):
The bench was exact getive produced by Christina Everett. It
was supervisingly produced by Brucifer. The theme song was done
by such a good father. He's an incredible father. He's
been at war for several months, but he's still good dad.
He writes occasionally and his name is um Gold. Of course.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
Artwork was done by Teddy Blank, who was dethroned. This
podcast was originally co produced with Megan's former podcast partner Projects.
Find us on Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash CPC the pod.
Speaker 3 (56:31):
Line and please please review us because we have so
many haters in the tabloids and I would like you. Guys,
I'm asking you please just go read a review. It's
not that hard.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
It would be fun.
Speaker 3 (56:41):
It's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
We can do hard things. I love you, Love you,
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