“The Pioneer Woman” feat. Cole Escola (RE-RELEASE)

The legendary Cole Escola joins us for sassy ranch chef/mommy blogger Ree “The Pioneer Woman” Drummond and her riveting memoir “Frontier Follies.” Fire up the gas grill as we talk homeschooling, vertigo on your honeymoon, the redhead threshold for childbirth pain, kidnapping paranoia, piling into a massive SUV with two other couples, gala etiquette, and all the spinach artichoke dip you can handle.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hate Club, GID.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hope you're enjoying hashtag every other summer.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
We have a little fun treat for you. We're going
back in time, and yes, we're re releasing an old
episode because we're vintage and we love to thrift.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
And you might think while they're so lazy, and I
would say, bitch. In three years, we've literally never done
this before, so I don't think it's that big of
a deal.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
So watch yourself and watch this space.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
So we've gone back into the archives and we've pulled
out a banger of an app a really much loved
but sometimes slept on episodes.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
So it's great to pull it back out of I
just I want to relsten to it.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's a good one. Oh are we talking about? Of course,
none other than the Pioneer.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Woman also known as re Drummond.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
And we had an incredible guest on, the lovely and
talented Cola Scola, who maybe you've read about it now,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
That you have maybe freaking Broadway right now?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Who's play? Oh Mary just moved to Broadway?

Speaker 1 (00:59):
You haven't seen? Yeah, like idiot, But.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Please enjoy this little taste of before they were stars
with us and Cole Scola talking about the Pioneer Woman's book.
This was recorded who Knows One, eighteen eighty three. Yes, yes, yes,
it was on the front of er.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
It was a hard winter.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Oh my goodness, very very cool.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
We weren't needing much then we had the episode to
keep us warm.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
We lost a lot of good goats that year.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well, enjoy club, kids, and see you at cool.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
See you at school at the end of summer. Bye Batch.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Club. Anyone home?

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Oh gosh, I'm not expecting any company.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
I think we can just open the door and walk
right in. And I mean, we paid for the tour,
so let's just let's just welcome ourselves.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Lord of Fine. No, Lisa, that's twenty four to ninety five.
I haven't getten my bucks worth.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
I'm so glad you got that group bong, because it
would have been forty nine ninety five a lovery.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
This house is so gorgeous. Hello, we're here for the
re drumming tour.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Hello.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Oh my, maybe if i'm quiet they'll go away.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
This is stunning. Wow, look at all these gorgeous crosses
that are everywhere, these Presbyterian crosses.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh my god, look at that huge bag of frozen meat.
It looks like some sort of nugget or something like that.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
I can see why her cowboys love eating here. Man,
there is there's a lot of space around this table.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Hello read last Hello.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Hello, I'm sorry you're not supposed to be in this house.
I was just taking a bath. And yeah, sorry, I'm
so sorry. Lord, I'm sorry. I'm naked right now.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Naked Sor asked, Okay, it's Ladin free time. You know
we're walking out.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Thanks, Thanks, If you can just leave because I'm completely
naked right now, that both of my breasts are out,
both of my vaginas out, do you want to autograph?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Can I just mind just having a real quick and
I would say, and I know, as someone who has
breastfed three of her children but not the fourth, I
will say that your breaths are an incredible condition.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Thank you so much, As as neither regions because of
someone who's also birthed a few kids, other things drop,
I'll tell you that.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Well, but I have red hair, true, we know that
comes with some advantages.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yes, we have a lovely home.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
You are beautiful.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
I can thank you. I'm just gonna sign these books
for you. Here's a Bible.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I brought a puppet. My sister is episcopalian. Would you
mind signing her Bible as well?

Speaker 3 (03:51):
That's because that's kind of a lesser Bible. Okay, y'all
go have fun, you get out, godless gods, godless read.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
Wow. I can't believe.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
We just aree niked.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
I'm turned out.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
You've filthy horse, your husband's.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
Gone, and we've got books and a bottle of wine
to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books, it's gossip.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
I'm sure it's memoirs Martini, Celebrity poof Club.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Read it while it's hot. Celebrity puff Club, tell your secrets.
We won't talk celebrity books.

Speaker 5 (04:38):
No boys are a loud Cleo, say it loud and pounds.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
Celebtypook Club. Buzz me in.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
I brought the queer Voe.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Hey, my best friend, and how are you?

Speaker 2 (04:52):
My girl?

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I am feeling good. Mondays are the best day because
it's when God says, let's do this again. Sister.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
I respect God's seven day work week or five day
work week so deeply because he just figured it out.
You know what I mean? We need that day rs
and then bam right back to the office. Absolutely, and yes,
like most of our listeners, we are heading back to
the office because President invited said so hello end of WFH.
Hello commuting.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
I'm in my hardest punts and I took nine trains
to get here.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah. I think my dog is going to miss me
more than my husband.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I did take take the train. I got out of
the train to take a bus. On the bus coming,
got back on the train, went the wrong direction. Wow, okay,
I'm literally in halfway over.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Here when you haven't left the apartment and I don't
know two years global pattern dorm anyone. Well, congrats, that's
huge that you meet it here you were ten minutes later. Yeah, really, fucking.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Rad Walson with his coffee.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
No, I've actually threw un told me back in the
fucking studio.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Same. I mean, we've been here, I know, but I
was away as you know. Sorry, Stephen is back from
his one week in Nantucket. Actually it was almost a
week and a half.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
It was two episodes for our listeners. That's two weeks.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Two weeks. How do you tell a season in time?
Is that the rent lyric?

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Absolutely? How do you tell a season in time, one
of the famous lyrics from Rent from have you Seen Rent?
I saw it in theaters when I was a freshman
at New York University, and then I like downloaded the
soundtrack because you know, I'm so soundtrack, so I got
into it from the movie, but never I never saw
it live.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
I'm burning in time because I want to ask that
same question to someone else studio.

Speaker 5 (06:43):
I know someone who's super musical theater oriented, someone who
I think of every time I think of musical theater company, Yes, Midtown,
someone who reeks of Hell's kitchen.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Hellos, do you remember when the light fell on me
on the set of The Good Wife? That did happen?

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Audience, we have the funniest person alive, Madam.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Cole, Hello, Hello, thank you.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
I did see Rent also in New York City. I
saw it on Thanksgiving maybe, I mean, I guess we
were here in town at the same time. It was
two thousand and six.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, yeah, wow.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Us to think of us both in New York at
the same time, not even knowing each other, not even
knowing that we were seeing Rent.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Really a sliding doors?

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Were you at?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Like what if you had talked at you know?

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Oh yeah, screening. Is this the line for the Bathroom?
I was kind of younger then.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
I was literally a virgin when I saw that film.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Wow. Yeah, when do you count as virgin?

Speaker 4 (08:02):
Though?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
On flowered like like hole had never been penetrated.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
But you've but sucking dicks and cock before.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
I had definitely sucked cock.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty five.
Oh oh, moving on, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, yeah, and you count that as just sucking because no, no, no, no, no,
that's that's a whole Like no one, you did a
good like seven years of dick sucking before a hole happened.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Honey, I did a good twenty eight years of dick sucking. Okay,
I was.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Sucks, sweetheart.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Well that's a very Catholic school girl who does anal
in a stellar virgin.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah. For me, it was just I didn't.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Sorry, no, no, no, I'm gonna dark.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
I didn't it really hurt. Yeah, it really hurt, and
I couldn't get past it, and I just didn't believe
that it would never not hurt.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Well, I guess in your vision and by the way,
still a virgin, I guess, yes, I've.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
You've never been.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
You're like, You're like you're Susie or Man.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Had a virgin and happy with it.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
Okay, I live a very.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Life.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
But i'd also never sorry what I said. I've a sorry,
thank you. I've also I also to that point had
never fucked anyone topped either because with a face like this.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
In the back door, yeah, your screams top to me,
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
I well, yeah, because you're a fucking dice anything. I
look like Kim from season four of America's Next Top Model.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
You said, get you in like a little top man, blazer, skinny.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
Jeans, boner away.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
I'm dressing you with my eyes, little Fedora.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
When did the Kim comparison stop or are they still
happening for you? I assume there was a point where
you're getting stopped in the street.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
It was there like two thousand and six around the time,
but I was but I saw you walked out of
friends and all these tiny for me.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
I accosted you. A Union Score theater taught me, yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Look like her. I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
I really like she's so nice. She treats us, she
treats all her girls equal.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Well, speaking of dames, of the screen.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
The small Dames of the Barn, the ms of the pack, Keifer's.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, hello, listen, it's hard to lose the baby. Wait
and no, I don't fit in those dreams from College's
not talk about that. So we're going to talk about
someone who is known to audiences everywhere as.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
The Pioneer Woman.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
So I quite literally did not know that this woman
was not like an actual like house on the Prairie
historical figure until two days ago. Yeah. Yeah, but I
think I'm in the minority. I think most people have.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
I don't know if you are in the minority. Can
people call in and to a poll? I eighted eight,
idle five or yes? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Cole suggested's book title.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, you read Drummond The Pioneer Woman, Frontier Follies Adventures
in Marriage and Motherhood in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Literally, thank the Heavens Lord of Oklahoma. This insane middle
school essay.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
That's page Well, it's actually a collection.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
It's not just that. It's also a Christmas newsletter and
a Facebook.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
In history and there's some recipes in there that are.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Really exaster.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
So for kids. Okay, So she is a chef and
a TV chef and so as I discovered logging into
my ex boyfriend's food network vibe.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Okay, there are.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Thirty seasons of this show and only ten years, so
they're really banging them out.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
And so she became famous.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
She was a blogger.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
In her blog discourse, she was the original, just just
like my when my husband lad like comes home from
the ranch, like, I serve him up three baked potatoes
covered in ground sausage, but covered in three more baked
potatoes covered in.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
And she didn't start with food. It was just like lifestyle,
like tails from the ranch. And then and then there
was one recipe. It was like steak. She did one
steak recipe, and that steak.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
I watched the very first episode of the show, and
it's chicken fights.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
No, but there's she does.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Wait, is it his steak sandwiches that are like lads
favorite guys.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
I'm telling you, I think it's I don't. I don't
know what you want. So you're a full.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Historian experts, but.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
No, I just I looked on her Wikipedia. She went, Okay,
so she grew up on a golf course, but she
mentioned she.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Mentioned that because she's really random about her past and
she's always just been like, I don't know, I had
a perfect childhood. There was no trauma. Stop asking me
if there was trauma. There was no trauma, but there was.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
And then her parents divorce the year she married Lad.
Kind of seems like she's on the side of her
dad because they talked about that.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Doesn't mention the mom at all, right, because she so
she grows up in Oklahoma, but like sort of suburban Oklahoma.
Then she goes to u c. L a right.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
Where she has like a surfer boys like boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
She do you know what? She so she went there
for journalism and then switched to gerontology, which is the
study of agings. W Yeah, you're kidding, no, so and
then and then she married Lad and moved to Wow
the Pioneer Woman.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
My jaw is on the floor and I'm a dog
and a guy.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Gerontology the study of aging.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it's kind of funny though. I
guess I liked kind of maybe just feeling in the
blanks myself and kind of all these allusions to non
trauma kind of made me think thinks would be really bad.
Because of course, then there's that one section where she
mentions how her car was stolen and the people who
stole it murdered a woman.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Which is just veryfuely general Oklahoma, General Oklahoma, life on
the ranch.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
That's right, Okay, let me just pull this part. The
thing that reminded me of you is I feel like
you sometimes do and not to kind of blow up
your comedy spot, but sometimes you'll do characters where there's
you know what's behind you, the darkness behind the Middle
and Middle America women. You know what's going on there,
and you really mind that for comedic gold. And she
has this like weirdly placid way of talking about it

(15:01):
that feels very that. When my children were little, however,
one of my biggest fears but that they would be kidnapped.
This was somewhat understandable given something that happened to me
years earlier. In my senior year of high school, I
was robbed at gunpoint while exiting my ballet studio late
one night. The group of six men got away with
my car after I managed to break loose and run
to safety, and I was luckily to have been physically unharmed.

(15:23):
The Purple Trays were apprehended a few days later after
tragically murdering a woman who was out walking her dog.
My card broken down on the dirt road where she
was walking, and they were convicted in sant to prison thankfully.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
Yeah. And then the end of the chapter is like,
I guess it's time for another baked potato, and just
to have.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
A chapter on because all the chapters in.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
This book it will just be like church, yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Passt hounds, yeah, countnuts, and then kidnapping.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
The lesson from that chapter is that she writes her
address in sharpie on her children's feet in case they
get found.

Speaker 3 (15:58):
So she comes over of this dog tag can't be
washed away like it found dead.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Found like stripped nude and dumped in a ditch. Yeah,
they'll know where to.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Well, we need we need to talk about the gala
because I listened to the audio book and she pronounces ita.
But I love the way she talks about She's like, okay,
so my husband had never been to a gala before,
and she talks about it as if like you know,
we all we go to gala, go to gala.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
We all know what remember our first gala.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
And she's always being like, lord, I love staying home.
But then it's like all I want to do is
put on some black, slim, skinny jeans.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
Take out my chiseled from granite wrangler.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
I don't care if he says the word, but yeah,
I want to flirt and.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
With other couples, drink wand cocktails anyone.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
She says, I literally want to flip my hair, like
just pictuin sitting at this just like thirty nine to
ninety five, like steak with balsamic drizzle restaurant, flipping her
hair and her black dress, making jokes.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
With her ideas of jokes though, Like remember she has
that that story about how in college at a party,
at a Halloween party, she pretended to be a cat.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, I didn't.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Say anything, but yeah, the whole night and then she
was like.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
And then that girl never spoke to me again. Yeah,
she thought I was annoying.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Which makes sense because that's such a homeschooler thing to do,
and she homeschool search probably back back to so it
is that thing where she thinks her husband is so
sexy and hawksy, so mean, potatoes is so sexy. I
would lose my.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
So I watched the show. I did my research.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Yeah, I watch the show. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
I also think there's insane sexual tension between him and
his like Brooke bag Mountain best friend cowboy Josh.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, oh I didn't notice that.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
I mean, I was like, I could cut this sexual
tension with a chicken. Saw.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
I was, and so were the okaypot is insane and
it's so gay to like he's just so chiseled.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
And I feel like by the way she says chiseled.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Every potato, every time she says.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
Just she also describes his At one point, she's like
his chiseled shoulder leaned out into me, and I was like,
why do you need to describe as like his hot
chisel shoulder like so sharp.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
So at the gala, her husband, because he's so meating potatoes,
does not want to eat any of the food. There's
a lot of chrysalad. There's a salmon with glaze, and
she's like, he doesn't eat salmon or glaze.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
And then but then brusketta, so it's like, so he
won't eat bread bread because.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
The brushetto was so I did and I don't know.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
If you're sorry, I do say, okay, so how do
you want?

Speaker 2 (18:58):
And there was I watched I actually watched three episodes
of show to really got acquainted, and I watched a
mid season like her mid career show, like from twenty fourteen,
and she.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Was more trump.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
The Orange mom. It was like a bruce shadow that
was obviously so sweet and it was like blueberry ricotta, balsamic.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
She is very strawberry salad.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Just put about two tablespoons of honey in the dress
and you're like, oh, you didn't need to do that.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Well, there's the point where we will get back to
finish the gallow when she's getting a muffin and breaks
the display case.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
The chapter was called I Just wanted.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
And she breaks this displaying. There's glass everywhere, and she's
like blacked out. I was standing over the shattered glass,
still reaching for the donut, and the man at like
the Honeydew gas station was saying, miss, no donut.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Can you can't eat that? There's a glass.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Shards bleeding.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
But that was literally a whole chapter was like, this
is the craziest story that's happened to me in my life.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
But it was. But she she goes into so much.
She's so we stopped because Lad wanted a doctor Pepper
at seven. Then there's a whole separate chapter about his
doctor Pepper and lent.

Speaker 3 (20:24):
Remind y'all me.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
What are y'all giving up from that? Right now?

Speaker 3 (20:27):
I'm giving up my strawberry salad.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I'm uh no, honey in my turnkey sandwiches.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
I'm giving stevia. So that's why I'm.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
Promising whoa.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Missus crankology over here and the amount of like weird
hokey synonym she has for cranky and the whole Doctor
Pepper chapter.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
So he was being a grumster crankster he didn't have
and he was silent. He like wouldn't tell her that
he was giving up Dr Pepper.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
Oh yeah, a few days because the religious.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Is actually one of the things that actually is interesting
about straight couples is they're like not telling each other
stuff can like draw out a mystery for days on ends.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
And a great story for the book.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
But what I also love is there's so much thesaurus
in this book, like like she'll be like I said,
restaurant two sentences ago we left the eating establishment and
because it's like that's really one of the ones that
I underlined because I was like, just say restaurant again,
like this like this isn't it. It's so middle school,

(21:34):
like Okay, there a different word.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
There was another writing moment that I noticed because it
was in stark contrast to the character she is in
the show, where she was talking about, oh, the snakes
that they.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
Use, Oh the whole chapter, about the whole chapter.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
How but they surprise each other with increasing the realistic.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, the way they keep their marriage together is they
surprise each other with snakes.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
About how snakes were getting more and more realistic. She goes,
bright colors were replaced with deeper, more realistic tones of
ebony and moss.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
And I was like, ebony and moss. She well, she
said it was brown and green. And then she opened
her thesaurus and she was like ebony.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Mom Oh, that's a fun time fun. Yeah, that must
be it. But there was a scene if we go
back to the pilot, yeah, where she is shiffinating Parsley
as one does or Basil, and she goes and I'm
just gonna do it shift or not and that words
so silly. She makes me feel silly. But that's a
fun word. And that's what you call it. Just being
like super self conscious about alienating her her Midwestern viewers.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yeah, she but her blog. I remember reading on her
Wikipedia did like insane numbers, like like twenty five million
viewers like a day. Yeah, she's more than the day
she comes.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
To Shark Tank and she's just like, well, my revenue
is seven million off of advertising alone, and my mommy
blogging what.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, she was like and that's why I'm selling ribbon
cutters for CAF test colds.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
But at the gala, Lad can't eat all this bread
with all this top of off. Yeah, he wants meat
and potatoes.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
He doesn't want anything that has a color.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
If I could read a little part from the Gala music.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Please.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Gala music, I could hear his stomach rumblin. It sounded
like the t Rex and Jurassic Park. My man wanted
to be fit. Any attempt to put on a happy
face was now gone. With the previous course dishes, I
gave him a compassionate glance as I gobbled down his watercress. Also,
so she's eating all of his.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
And always making strokes about it about like honey, I
guess they'll have to eat your portion.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
The fourth course was the last straw. It was lecquered salmon,
and Lad eats neither north salmon lacquer That was it.
He couldn't take it anymore. They're actually trying to kill me,
aren't they? He whispered in my ear. He wasn't joking.
His hunger level had stripped him of all clear thinking,
and paranoia was officially setting in. It's like, this is

(24:17):
a madman. This is like yeah, and she's like, isn't
it so sexy? And it's like he's just refusing.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
To eat and literally the one time he's ever out
of dinner in public.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Yeah, and she's like making up excuses again too. Then
she says, this whole thing, this gala, was all conspiracy now,
an evil plan hatched by my dad's darling wife and
her evil boarded directors. They knew lad the cattle rancheruld
be come to the dinner, and they put Christine and
shiny fish on the menu just to watch him in angry.

(24:50):
It was all finally becoming clear to him. How could people.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Be so cruel?

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Anyway, he finally gets up and goes to McDonald's. That's
what he says.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
Yes, we think he's going to McDonald's. And then instead
of taking twenty minutes, he takes.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Forty five minutes. Plot twist. He went to a steakhouse. Yeah,
and had a whole meal and tipped twenty five percent.
She's clear to mention yeah, and it's like, huh.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
How does she know that? I don't think. Oh. But
by the way, what we're not talking about is that
the gala was for his stepmom's theater, but that she's
on the board of the Yeah, yeah, what was this theater?
What was the gala? I'm dying to know, Like, well,
what was on the calendar for that year? Like we're

(25:33):
doing noises Off, we're doing legally blonde.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
She also reveals at one point that redheads have a
higher propensity for pain in child birth. Yeah, and that's
why she needed epidural. Because the whole epidural like birth
chapter is basically her like performing this insane guilt around
having used the epidural. And you know, there's all this
culture of guilt and motherhood conversations around breastfeeding or not breastfeeding,

(25:58):
you know, to use the drugs or not. Yeah, and
she's really kind of talking herself off the ledge about
how she tried to not use it but she had.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
To, but it's okay because she's a redhead.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
But then she did go to the Lama's classes, and
then she was able to not use an epidural on
one time third child, but then her fore child wasn't
singing traumatic and it had to be a C section.
But then there's another breastfeeding team where she's still like
hiding the breastfeed from her brother in law under like
a blanket, and she's just like, and I didn't think
that he knew what was going on under there, but

(26:27):
of course he knew what was going on under that point.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
She's so weird.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Absolutely, she's so weird. Though. That chacter was so crazy
because it was all about how like Tim, her brother
in law, how close they were, and how like he
had such a cowboy mouth. She's like, you didn't get
it when men are in a barn together at four am, like.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
They have sugar lips. So yeah, she said sugar lips.
And I was just like this, I don't remember that.
She was like, he was called sugar lips because he
always said what he thought. And it's just like, this
phrase is so sexual.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
If that's why he called sugar lips. I think I
think the men are calling him sugar lips for a different.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
I think they're all going over there and using his
sugar lips after they're done the cattle.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
Why don't you take a look at the lipstick on
your husband's cockad? Okay, fuck up, he's gay and he's
fucking your brother. She's always like just being a simple

(27:27):
country girl myself. We do things. And even the fact
that she calls it the pioneer woman, like that's not
someone that's in the country, you know what I mean,
Like that there's an outside sort of because this.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Is her whole fish out of water.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
Thing like, and she's very clear about like I'm fish out.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Of water, but it's like the water in question. It's
like Tulsa golf course to like actually two hours outside
of exactly. It's like that's the transition two hours.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
In a life time away.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
And then she has like she does a lot of
things where like she'll break it down it's just you know,
fun for the reader. Will she'll be like, here's a
list of thirty dogs. But then one while she's like
lad's childhood, my childhood, Like the difference of them and
one is like it does seem like she does like
being with his family better because she's just so like,

(28:16):
let's talk about pop pop and gramps well.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
One of the funniest things is like how she stresses,
Like the fact that her parents divorce while she was
an adult was one of the most traumatizing things that
she's ever been through her life. Like can you imagine
being like what as an adult.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
As at like age twenty seven, Like you're not going
to be together.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's like again old school, I'm like got aram.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
She I mean, I do I know? It is just
like so what really happened? Like did your mother abuse you?

Speaker 4 (28:50):
Right?

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Like what went down?

Speaker 3 (28:52):
Like there was a meth thing, there was there was
like something.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Her eyebrows are pretty mess the pines.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
It's just like two thousand's like that's just the havoc
of the two thousand hair.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Also becomes even it becomes like more garish as the
show goes on where and especially so I was watching
like the Quarantine episodes, and it's.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
All her kids film.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
The kids film, and they're sitting with their iPhones on
their little like sticks, and the kids are all kind
of homeschooly too and awkward and like biting their lips
and kind of looking around shuffly and laughing at her
really weird jokes again that are not jokes where she's
just being just like, oh, like, well, of course there's
nothing I lack more than sheese, and they're like, mom,

(29:36):
that's crazy. Well okay, let's also let's get to the
homeschool thing. So she has this whole thing where she
admits that she like homeschools are ches for several years,
but then they.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
Because again the drive Tulsa. She was like, I was
dropping them an hour and like then I would have
come back and then I'd have to drive again. I
was like, well that commute does sound.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
And again, but that's like five pages of her describing
the community, just like she's like, you know me at
five thirty and it's like okay, and then it's all
just to say like I homeschooled my kids.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Yeah, she's like so Lad pushes me and he's like, honeybee,
wake up, and I'm like and then he pushes me
again fifteen minutes later and I'm like, not on this
your walk.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
And then it's like this paragraph. Of course lad Weez
used to waken up at three forty five am because
to him, that's the time that you wake up. You
wake up at three am so you can go feed
the cattle. Get in the spurs because you want to
move the cattle while it's still cold before it gets
too hot. That detail is in this book ten times.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah you think later in the day.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, oh you think we just cool off in the creek,
not in my creek full of snakes.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
But she's I love how like fake self deprecating. She
is like, yes, just like five thirty, I wake up
more towards noon and with coffee, and.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
It's like what She's like, Yeah, I think I'm gonna
need a glass of wine, or maybe it were two
glasses of wine at the end of this week. This
book is also very like she's just her weird opinion.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
She's always so it's just like.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
And my daughter was very tall, and I had There's
another point where she says lad had a very tall mother.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
She's always just been like and some girls are really
tall and that's okay. And it sounds like maybe it's
not okay with you.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Oh. Also, she's she's constantly making comments about weight, but
then like experiencing it before, like being like and look,
I know looks don't matter, but I was ten sizes
bigger than I've ever been in my life back that
you wouldn't believe. I was like, okay, it's just like

(31:44):
that constantly.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
And of course I didn't want to pass on any
of these insecurities to my daughter, so I didn't say
anything about it in the car, even though my thighs
had never been large and I would never be able
to fit into the jess I had in college ever again,
I burned them. I put them under the house.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Or the skunks lived was insane. When she shoots a
skut buries the skunk so she can go out to
a restaurant.

Speaker 3 (32:08):
Her husband said, if you bury this gun, I'll take
you to dinner. Right I did it.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Right after he's killed it with a shotgun, and she.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Wants to go to this couple's dinner. That was them
driving to another couple's house, all piling into several SUVs,
them driving in that hour. So she wears them pants.
But the scene where her daughter is like, Mom, stop
wearing like blouses and skinny jeans to soccer games. Wear

(32:38):
a T shirt and shorts. And then she was like
that's why. She was like, I could never do that
because my body I'm so obese. But I wouldn't tell
my daughter that.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Crazy QBC, the most flowy QBC like peasant chat or whatever,
like tied I strappy top yea belt from to next
leaves the boy balls and the daughter and I kept wondering,
this is the tall daughter, and I'm like, is tall

(33:09):
daughter a lesbian or not?

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Well it isn't tall girl engaged from Marizzio who Cowboy
Josh is? Like one of them is engaged. I forget right.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
I don't remember which one, okay, but but she was
like the daughter she was more nervous for Cowboy Josh
to meet him than her dad.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Yeah, And I was like, oh something.

Speaker 3 (33:29):
That's why I was like something like oh right, right,
because we never goes into that barn. She's sending her
kids there for the day. They're like, She's always like
and they come back at nine point thirty covered in
shit and piss and dirt and blood. But that's my kids.

(33:50):
They love it out there. And it's like do they
or why don't you do it?

Speaker 1 (33:54):
They love waking up at three forty five am. And
she's like, but it teaches them ranch.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Stuff and the sun. Yeah, when the sun gets accidentally branded,
it's just a handburn. Yeah, I thought, I look so
ugly in this hospital right now, I've never looked more disgusted.
And I wanted to stop by the avon counter and
put some makeup on, yeah, but I drove him to
the er. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
Oh, and she's like and there was a hole in
my crotch, I repeat, a hole in my croch.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
And then at the hospital where she has like a
hole in her crotch after her son was branded, she's
like runs.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Into like her ex boyfriend's mom.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
It was just like so insane.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, there are a lot of ex boyfriends.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, well then her ex boyfriend, oh no, her crush,
her former high school crush comes to a signing with
his wife, and she's like so embarrassed and so sweaty
in her dripping. I mean, I doubt that Michelle is breathable.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
No, everything is like Polly, like, what's that ray on?

Speaker 3 (34:53):
Raylan?

Speaker 2 (34:53):
A lot of ray on in that house. I do
feel like, I think the thing about all the ex
boyfriends in the way that she's constantly dis I been
her chiseled husband and his wranglers, wranglers, wranglers. One, well,
I think she fucks I guess, well, yeah, she has
all those kids, and then she keeps thinking jokes about.
She was like, and yes, we had another kid. And
I won't go into the details of how that happened

(35:14):
to say, I got pregnant.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
Again, something to do with what we did on our
wedding night.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
I don't want to give you the details about wa
so many of my children are born in this summer.
But I think you can payse it to Diyler.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
But then so me.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
She got vertigo on her Australian honeymoon.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Oh my god, well that's the worst story in the book.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
She got the inner ear infection on their Australian honeymoon.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
By the way, Okay, so the book opens with this
story about like the worst first year of marriage, Like
we had the worst first year. It started off first
of all, I got an ear infection in Australia. Okay, okay,
talk about a rocky start. And then she's like, plus,
my husband couldn't find anything to eat in the country

(36:00):
in Australia.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Oh yeah, it was like a cattle capital of like all.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
The world, the most normal, like cultureless place.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
Absolutely, there's McDonald's like, what is she talking about?

Speaker 1 (36:10):
The whole Australian thing like burgers.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Eggs, it's just it's insanity's funny. So yeah, around he's
the same way he was in high school, the same
weight that he was in college. He's never put on
a pound. He has an eight pack on a twelve
pack in his wranglers.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Yeah, but he he loves my brother's sugar lips, so well,
yeah he My husband is snatched. He looks thin.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
He is.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
It's like my husband for days and he gets very
angry and stop speaking.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
My husband's just an angry, skinny bitch. That's the way.
I like scrumptious, So scrumptious a lot. She loves grumious.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
In her coffee, of course, is so coffee mate, Like
she's like I take a sip of my iced coffee
drowning in like hazel nuts.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Gas station in the whole apple fred or fiasco. Like
she spends half a paragraph describing the coffee and all
the creamers. She's delectable.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
Oh I'm enjoyed cookies and cream Like, I just want
to quickly talk about calf nuts. She the testicle, the
calf tescal. How she's like talks about She's like on
this farm, like half nuts are everywhere and she's always
finding like cow tescles in her kids.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Not the testicles, the sack, the ball, the empty sack,
the empty calf, fuzzy fuzzy half sack. The kids think
they're toys and they put them in their pockets. Then
you do laundry and boy, oh boy, you don't want
to smell what that's like? Like hot hot, hot sack

(37:58):
and it's like she's shit was enough?

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Yeah, Like try watching wrenglers, like but you know, testicles,
rocky mountain oysters as they call them if they're deep fried.
And sugar Lips has a really good recipe for rocky oysters,
right flower, tons of cayenne, hot.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Hot boys, black pepper.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Yeah, hot hot chest hot nuts.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
My men love their hot nuts. Skinny snatched chisel. Bitch
of a husband loves spicy nuts.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
It's eat spicy nuts. But you can't find anything to
eat in Australia.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
I want to ask what you guys think her politics are.
I have a theory that I feel like her and
all her friends, like her other homeschoen friends. They all
voted for Klobuchar and all their husbands vote for Trump,
but no one tells anyone who they voted for. And
they will take it to their grave and they just
do not discuss that at the dinner table.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Absolutely, because I watched a cool, awesome super cut of
her the top five cast roles she makes, and she
makes Klobachar's castle role, which is ground beef, cheese, tater
tots hot dish, and she just does seem so clubbed
to make it's so but first wine. And I feel
like her crew is very like, oh, we're not talking politics.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
No, no, no, it's very like we don't.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
They literally they go to the pollotation together like the
husband and my leave, get back into their massive suv and.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
Yes, we could.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Stop for doctor Pepper and they might even be like
I could see like she's putting on her like I
voted sticker on.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
I don't think she's putting for like the drive. Wait
wait wait wait do you think I think she doesn't vote?
I think you can find an hour on a day.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
No, that's true. I mean she she only gets to
go to dinner like once a month.

Speaker 4 (40:02):
Yeah, yeah, why.

Speaker 3 (40:19):
Does she eat?

Speaker 2 (40:20):
What does she wear?

Speaker 3 (40:21):
How does she live?

Speaker 2 (40:23):
All right? What does she eat?

Speaker 1 (40:25):
What does she eat? I mean we know it's like
it's always a mix of cheddar and monerary jack.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Monorary jack.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Idiot, You fucking idiot.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
I was home schoold. We learned differently.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
We never went over the cheeses.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
I don't know what a nickel looks like. Remember that.
She's like, my son didn't know what a nickel looked like.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Next time. She's like, next kid, maybe I'll teach your mouth.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
She's like, I felt bad I skipped the currency.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Oh she loves sushi and her favorite sushi place is
in Tulsa.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Yeah, I mean she she likes Gal's Knight food. She
obviously loves getting shishto peppers and spinach.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
Art choked dip, spinach artichoke, everything. Please.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
No, she's very just like spinach artichoked flatbread like with
beta and then on it everything and then.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
There's like balsamic shidos. Then there's a bloomin onion. She's like,
I shouldn't, but I will. This is one of the
Pantstone fits.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
I will say. I do think she's she has like
had to follow food trends somewhat over the course of
her career. And I was like noticing in the later
seasons like she was making like in some ways and
you know, not Alice the Roman, but getting close to
a lemonee like Parsley forward pasta. She's still calling it
the veggie tastic pasta, like she's still blocking it up,

(41:51):
and then like putting like bread crumbs on top and
not even saying Panco, just being like, these are fun
bread crumbs. I like to use wonderbread or use whatever
you have lying around.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Has got an industrial tub of lemon pepper.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yes, yeah, it's big Costco.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
It's a dash oh.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
And there's right that whole section where she's like about
like where she learns to go to Costco and like.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
By oh, yeah, she's like buying and bulk. The whole
chapter about how she learned to buy and bowl.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
I was watching this one cast roll where I was like,
I mean all of them obviously like looks so good
and naughty, and she was like, so now we're adding
in three tubs of cotta cheese and you're actually not
even gonna notice the cottage cheese. It's just to get
a creamy texture. Then we're gonna do a court of
sour cream, and then we're gonna mix up the monerary
track and it is kind of like why the cottage cheese,

(42:41):
I mean you a monerary.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
I okay, so you also is like everything is always
about like how her husband doesn't like colorful foods, and
she's like, and I'm gonna put these tomatoes on the plate.
Not now, he won't eat them, but I just think
they make the dish look natt Yeah, and then everything
is the sweetest dressing. She also loves Mason jar making dress.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah, She's like, I think it's.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Just so much better than mixing in a ball and
then putting in a jar.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
You get to fund shake, which is a little bit
of cardio.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Lord nose on nita.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
But I you know, I do, I mean sure.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Yeah, I mean the food doesn't sound bad to me.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
No. I was like, she has a good sense of balance,
I'll say, like she is always putting.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Pladeen right, yeah, yeah, always three types of cottage cheese.
She's like, and even know like lad does love an
iceberg let a salad like she wants her big yeah,
tver feta, blueberries, pulverized walnuts. Things that are lacquered, Yeah, glazes.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
Lacky and glazy. There needs to be. It's also you know,
portions are large.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Well you know, actually I was just looking it up.
She has lost fifty five pounds in the last year,
and she talks about how it's just about like portions, portions.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Well I have, I mean so shout out to my
cousin Lisa, who also lost an enormous amount of weight
through portion control.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
That wow.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
Crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
We were at this like family dinner at one of
the restaurants on the boat and she was saying how
she had lost all this weight, and she was like,
the trick I realized was that, you know what, if
I really like this ice cream, I can have another
bowl tomorrow and I don't have to have another bowl now.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
And I was like, wow, that's.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Kind of mind blowing. Yeah, like you it's like you
will be able to have it. It's exactly, it's really
just about time.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
Yeah, it's about this sort of like but since it
was twelve oh one, I guess it was tomorrow. Oh
rey O. She's so country mouse carry Bradshaw because it's
literally the tons and the blogs self deprecating quote unquote,
but like adorable, but country mouse carry Country mouse carry.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Okay, what does she wear Stillard's I think obviously it's QVC.
I think she's ordering a lot of clothing and then
picking it up in the town. Obviously, when she's doing
her weekly.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
She respects hers.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
What's her favorite store to go to?

Speaker 2 (45:21):
Though, I feel like she's stopping at one of those
like the Red Dress barnboutique dot com, where it's just
like some story you've never heard of and everything is
just like a bell sleeved dress with butterfly with so
many butterflies and floral prints and like almost tied eyeprints.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
Because when she goes to New York, I feel like
she's not shopping at all.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Where her black dress.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
When most people go to New York, honey, they shop, Okay.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
It's a shop. She's like blooming Dale's. Me, I stay
in and I order some sushi New.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
York City style, yeh canal.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
But I also could just see her like logging onto
Macy's dog.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
Yeah, Macy's. I think she's Macy's some beautiful black slash's.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Like I need some slacks live Okay. So I'm wondering, like,
what what are the renos now that she's like rich
on that home because she's like we grew up. We're
in the home that LAD grew up in. Like in
my mind, it does seem pretty like I mean obviously,
it's big shelves that.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
Are so.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Is kind of just like a little bit Chip and Joanna.
I do wonder what the actual house is.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Like, Yeah, it seems messy.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
I feel yeah, I think it's I think it's dark.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
I think it's scary. I think it's like dark gray,
dirty carpet, big scary couch with cup holders, live, laugh love,
Christian key.

Speaker 3 (46:45):
I don't know if she's lived, laugh love. I think
she thinks she's a little bit ahead. I think she's
a little bit like you don't.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
I don't think it says you don't think there's a
big key rack that says family.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
Well family, yeah, right, okay, family, that says family.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
She has like a small wine sign that's a good
first wine. But like lad is sober, so I feel
like she's not.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
She's not.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
But he's never had a drink.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
He's never had a drink in his whole life. He's
never had agg.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
He's like, if I do, I'll fuck a guy. Yeah No,
he's literally lose inhibition.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
Yes, the second I do one popper, I will have
to fuck Josh so savagely.

Speaker 4 (47:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
Lots of black wrought iron and like cedar corse cedar.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Tons of cedar, and like the lodge where the tours
are are nice, aren't even more Chip and Joanna with
like the cedar and the mason jars. But I'm imagining
the biggest pine, the biggest like lazy boys, but they're
like nice and new.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Biggest lazy boys.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
One of those like chargers lights, one of those tables
that's made of like a big random piece of wood
that's like crooked and everything, and then like sort of
cut with a big piece of glass.

Speaker 4 (47:56):
Big.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Wow, you think it's really that like sex lodge that
I think. I mean, she is a celebrity, Yeah, I
think he probably didn't. You have four crazy boys running around,
you don't want a big glass table.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
If there had been a last table, we would have
heard about it in one of these stories.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Okay, that's not a good idea when you've got chiseled
cowboys running around.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
But I think you're right. I bet there are some
more modern chiseled like wooden pieces like.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
A clock or something that's like like a naughty piece
of tree stump.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
And when you say naughty you mean not.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
That's like right now, she has like a British flag
somewhere that's like small ceiling.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Do you think it's popcorn to your old house.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Yeah, not in the not in the lodge. You're gotten
on the lodge. Yeah, And take that back about the
British flags.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
You don't think little pillow British flag. Someone gave it
to her crewcause.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
The whole crew is British and I think, okay, yeah,
you take that back.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Yeah, small small union jack fellow.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Absolutely in their bedroom obviously like heavy, heavy, heavy two lamps.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
Yeah, obviously, like there's you know, the duvet and all
the pillows.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
There's a big glube and.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
Sharm and lube and a drawer, big glube and drawer.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Oh I think, I think I think there's lube, but
she hides it because she doesn't want to. She hides
it so she doesn't want.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
It all into this slatthered Uh.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Yes, I think she goes hold on just a minute, right,
and then she's like.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
She even goes into the bathroom to apply it and
then comes back out.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yes, and it's a long red lady. She's like, let
me get into something.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
A little more. Because so she's so like Christian and
like koy and like like a man should never see
you wet in yourself.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
It's old. Why she's so carey because I feel like
she's sex with Bran, yesding him.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
With I don't think it is Missionaria.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
You don't think she's girl on top writhing that chiseled.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
She's probably just.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Like, I'm really worried about.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Put on a lot of weight since my four kids.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Meanwhile, he weighs exactly the same.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
In college and middle school.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Now the real question.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Who are you?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Are you back?

Speaker 3 (50:40):
Okay, I'm gonna be real with you guys all, Stephen,
I think you are producer Rachel the British The British
producer who loves who like came from Ina and was like, wait,
I love your charming little rush and your gorgeous husband.
Let's to a picnic. And she's like, there's chiggers in

(51:02):
the grass. You're killing your producer, Rachel.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
What about quilt?

Speaker 1 (51:09):
And she's like, well, the chiggers are gonna get any quil, Yeah,
vengage quilt on grass?

Speaker 2 (51:15):
Snakes?

Speaker 3 (51:16):
I don't think so.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
And I'm like, well, let's not get some snake, Repella,
let's get some TM ordering tents now.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
And You're like, yummy, yummy, y how did you lend
that piping pot of tea over here.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
I do start sucking one of her man chants you.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Well, no, it's like a p a who fuss.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, No.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Producer Rachel's married to a cameraman Julie Robert style.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
Yeah for a talk that actually is so mean because
it's like he is kind of trade but he also
like has his skill into that.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
Yeah, and he's like also Briddish too.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
And like gets TV but it's still like holding a camera. Yeah,
it's like top stuff.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Okay, literally me to it, Okay, Lily.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
I for a long time I was like, is Lily
lad or re? Because I can yeh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
You're really every day.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
Because I mostly think you're lad. But I also was like,
but I picture Lily being like I don't want to get.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Up yeah, general, yeah I'm not getting up three forty five,
Like obviously I'm dressing the part.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Lad and I hate getting out. You love wranglers, but
you hate getting.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
A three forty five. And I think the lad re
is my struggle throughout life. Yeah, I want to be lad,
but I'm re.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Yeah, but you also want to be re and there's
nothing you love more than like a high top with
your girls and Sushii.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Well, this is our consecraversation where you're like, stop pretending
you're Lad, you're red, Like, yeah, I do, and I
am like, let's go out, but.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
Then again like you literally do golf. Yeah, that gets
back to reborn on a golf course.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Yeah, and like I don't think I love Gayla's. I
wouldn't like store worm out because like a salad whizzerved.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
Right right, it would be so double portion.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
You would like, oh this is nice, this is nice,
good right, But I also would whip up like it's lad,
like I am a hungry man that wants like chicken
fried steak. Yeah, okay, who are you?

Speaker 2 (53:18):
What did you think you were?

Speaker 3 (53:20):
I'm Lad's stepmom who is on the board at the theater.
You mean mom, No, no, no, no, this is lad.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Not lads. Like the one who's like really tall but
would never want to wear like the same color top
as bottom because you didn't want to appear like a column.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
She was the one like she's always.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Being so like, well now that Gram's is alone, he's
always buying so much like corn.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
Whatever.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Yeah, you are in Tulsa. You're putting together.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Thanks for coming, Thanks for coming to the gala hunt
use your celebrity power around here for this next season,
and you're.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
Telling your husband just being like, we we gotta get
ree and lad to the gala. We gotta get there.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
Oh gosh, I think there will be anything for him
to eat. It's brushette. Yeah, yeah, I mean, she's a chef.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
He's got to be eating brushette all the time. And
then you're putting on a beautiful.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
Season of theater.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
Another amazing season. Knocked it out of the park.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
We raised thirteen hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
I would say that I give this book. It's a
little tough because I really do enjoy her as a
as a storyteller, cultural icon, or in a movement, but
as a book. As a book, this is a Facebook post.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
This is a Facebook and just like Facebook posts, I
would say the first hundred pages, I was like, I'm dying.
I'm loving this. This amazing. And then you're at like
two to eighty yeah, and you're like, okay, babe, let's
wrap it up. Yeah with listing your basst hounds, what
kind of feed they eat?

Speaker 3 (54:57):
Two horses, here's the name of here's the names of
all the horses, dead and alive, she really did that.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
With a part of me or she was just like
and I thought the horses wanted to kill me the
way they were looking at me through the windows.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Oh, because they ate her sunflowers. Well I never planted
sunflowers again, I'll tell you that much like. Okay, that
was chapter five.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
So I do love the short chapters, and I do
love that you can kind of open it to anywhere.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
And just have a good time, dive right.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
Treat it more like I would.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Say advice to our listeners if you're going to buy this,
you know, treat it like a coffee table book or
a book of psalms.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
A book of psalms and lessons, and there is a
little bit of a moral lesson to every single story. Yeah,
that you can take with you and put in your
pocket and snack on till the next church session.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
I'm giving this three point nine bull testicles wow out
of five. Yeah. Ooh. It was really just a different,
you know, just good old Christian.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Fun, Christian fun. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
It definitely was a Christian level of fun for sure,
And it showed me that some of our religious brothers
and sisters do know how to kick back and let
loose and let their hair die.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
I may be a Christian, but I drink wine.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Yeah, okay, sorry, you tell me that's not godly. You
tell me God didn't have a little hand in Charney.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
And yes we do have wasabi in Tulsa.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
After all, it is the blood of Christ.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
So yeah, I would say give this book maybe a
three out of a five hour drive to my local
restaurant for date night once every six months.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
I would give this two or no three? Three horse
eaten sunflower?

Speaker 2 (56:52):
Month three? Did three? Did skunks? All right? Well, Cole,
thank you so much for coming on.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
In the whisper room and just getting real, getting Christian.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
I have to say I have a high bed and
I am not ashamed of it.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
Climb on up.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Okay, thank you for being so raw and horrible.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
No more comments, and let our listeners know where can
they find you? You said cobble Hill or.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
I live in cobble Hill in Brooklyn on street. Yeah,
in between beep and beep right on top of your
mom's fat beep.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Love that fun, fun humor for the for the whole.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
Some of couls humor is not Christian?

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Say that?

Speaker 3 (57:49):
Okay? Look, come on, I went to u c l
A for Gerontology, Classic Garontology.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
My Bachelor of Science in Gerontology.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
All right, thanks so much, y'all, ban.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Rowd on back. This vintage episode was presented by Prologued Projects,
edited by Benjamin Frish, with editoral support from Andrew Parsons,
Perci Ever, Lynn, Leon Nafolk, Madeline Kathlin, Narlene Irrevelant. Isn't
that fun? Okay, well you know the names. Our current
producers are Darby Masters supervising Producers, A buzza Far Executive

(58:29):
producer is Christine Everett. But you know it's been the
same the whole time. Our work by Teddy Blank, stemsne By,
Steve Phillips, Horse, Some things don't change, never change,