June 17, 2024 • 44 mins
This episode contains mature language and themes about sex and drugs, so listener discretion is advised.
Hola, hola! Today, we’re having a very adult conversation with my dear friend Mia Vargas. She’s a trans woman who openly shares some of the ups and downs of her journey with us, she also talks about how the community is being affected by those who treat transitioning as a trend, and later, we’ll discuss why true confidence should truly come from within.
For LGBTQ+ resources, visit www.glaad.org
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello, guys, and welcome to this episode of Cheee'e and Chill.
I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It is June.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It is my favorite month. It is my birthday month.
And it's also Pride month, you guys. And I'm not
sure if you know, but the very first Pride March
was in nineteen seventy in New York, you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
So I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I'm a huge supporter of the LGBTQ plus community, and
so I wanted to have a deep conversation with a
friend of mine. Her name is Mia Vargas. She is
an influencer, a hairdresser. She's also a cancer and she's
a trans woman. And since it is, you know, Pride month,
I thought it would be very nice to have a
conversation with her because she's a very open book and
(00:50):
I love that about her.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So how are you, miya?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm good, how are you? Thank you?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Your excited? I know, right. So we're cancer sisters. Your
birthday is in July.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
July fifth, so we're a little different of cancers. You're
a different cancer.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Than I am.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Okay, so what do you Okay? We've I think we've
talked about this on the podcasts. I'm always talking about this,
but there is definitely a difference between June and July cancers.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Okay, how do you think that you're different?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
For me, I and some things were the same. I
feel like emotion wise we are, but I feel I
don't know, just seeing like certain stuff, I'm like, oh no,
we're a little differ, like I don't know, I don't
even know how to describe it, but there is a difference.
So there's a huge difference because I know your mom
with cancer too.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But July cancer July second.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah, so it's just even the attitude. Yeah, it's very different. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I think you guys are a little bit more spicy, yes, right.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
For sure, more impulsive, yeah, oh, very impulsive, super impassive.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And I think a little bit more of like way
to say, I'm a different cancer.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
But still we're wonderful.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We're very like, yeah, empathetic, nurturing, very motherly.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Right everywhere people are like, oh my gosh, you give
me like this mother like instinct.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Even my friend, yeah, with you like to take care.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Of Yes, even if I'm like if we're out like partying,
and I'm like, okay, I feel drunk. I need to
calm down because I need to make sure like my
friends are good. You know, Yeah, I trd you aren't that.
I'm very with anyone. I just I feel so like responsible,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah too, And like talking about that we've known each
other for ten years now, ten years twenty fourteen we met, Yes,
should we talk about how we met? We can't, Okay,
so go ahead take it away, miya.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I started working for your friend Vanessa and I met
remember Norwood Bar, at.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
The Norwood Bar at the Woody. You guys have good
times there.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I haven't been there in ten years. Yeah, I know,
we met there and we just always had a relationship
since then.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So when I met Mia, I think you were barely starting.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I think I was just like a boy and makeup.
I think kind of like more feminine, but yeah, not fully.
I don't think. I had just moved here. So I
have moved here from the state of Washington. Remember it's
very different, yeah, very I had been here for one
month and it was it was a like a culture
shock in a way, knowing that there's people that are
like that that can be openly happy here, and so
(03:19):
I was just getting a taste of that, and I
feel like I started surrounding myself with like with you guys,
with people that I knew, and I started feeling comfortable
with being who I am. And then I experienced like
West Hollywood and all that, and I was like, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Then you became a Hucci.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yeah, I became a became for the streets, for the streets.
I love it streets.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's one thing I love about you. You're so open.
We're gonna get all into that.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
But going back to how we met, the reason we
were a little hesitant is because I'm still friends with
Vanessa me as no longer friends with Vanessa. Actually Vanessa
and Ayako Madrees. She's been on the podcast as well.
We have Plantita's hair care, which she uses it she
loves so even though she doesn't talk to Vanessa and
there's no communication.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
And honestly, I've always I've said it before like I had,
there's no hard feelings, no nothing. I'm honestly I am
happy for her success and everything she's done. I wanted
to work for her. I love I admire that about her.
It's just the relationship didn't work out, and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
How did you work there at her salon like four.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Months maybe, Okay, so it was it was it was
just it was short. It was a short time, and
it was.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And then that's how we met and we became really cool,
like since the first day I met you, yeah, and
then since then we've been friends.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
And then I think in twenty eighteen you and I had.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
A fallout, yes, which you know, I'm always really straight
up with everyone here, So we had a follo out.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I think we didn't talk for like what a couple
of years.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Two year three and twenty twenty if you we kind of.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Started talking, like during the pandemic when everyone's heart was
really you know, damn, like life might end, and then
we kind of started talking. I don't know exactly how,
but I never really had an issue with you. I
think because we have a very good friend, a mutual friend, yes,
very good yeah. Yes, So and it's Ellen and a
lot of you like my og boss bees will know.
(05:03):
So Ellen and I had a falling out and it
just kind of was that thing of like, okay, you
gotta choose sides, I guess in a way, so she
kind of stuck with Ellen. There was like a lot
of craziness during that time, miscommunication and stuff that we
already like clear's.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Communication for sure, And at the time I was also
very close to Ellen, and I just I you know,
like you said, like that not that motherly, but I
just I needed to stick by her, you know, at
that time. I'm glad I did. At the end of
the day, like and now we're all good again.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, and you actually brought us together.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was it was me, Yeah, like, let's go have fun.
I love yeah, I love fu.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
No. Yeah, it was just a miscommunication that had to
It should have been a dressed sooner, but it didn't,
and things happened for a reason, and you know, she
ended up having her baby and everything. Yeah, so little boy,
wow everything. I think sometimes in friendships you need little pauses. Yeah,
and that one was one of them. Man.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
For sure, I definitely grew.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I think everyone kind of stepped into their own and well, anyways,
Ellen and I are good, We're all good. So I
just kind of wanted to get that out of the way,
because yes, I've known her since twenty fourteen, but you know,
I always was kind of like I wonder what, you know,
what me is doing or whatnot. And I thought it
would be perfect, a perfect time for you to come
on the podcast because we've talked about it, but since
it is Pride month and I think that you're someone
(06:20):
that has always been very open about your process. Yes,
and I've been there with her, I think through like.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Most of it, yeah, most of it.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, so you're completely transitioned to at this point.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Completely one hundred percent. My last surgery was December fourteenth
of twenty twenty three. Yeah, so six months now, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And how many surgeries have you had? Because you had the.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
So I got my breast done, I got my I
got I ended up playing a tummy tucks. I had
lost weight and our tummy tuck. Then I got light
with BBL. I got like with BYBL twice, which now
I regret why my as just got too big. I
feel like I was like in that like yeah, and
now I know you've lost way again. I'm like, damn,
like I need to get that fixed right. But and
(07:03):
it's a huge in security of mine. But then I
got my face. I got my nose done. First, I
got my nose done because I had like a bumps.
I got my nose done. Then I got my ffs
of facial feminization surgery, which I.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
She showed me those very gnarley guys.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah, like she literally cut from here to here, like
pulled down. Yeah, shaved all the inside of my mouth
through like the inside because it feminized, yes, to soften,
to soften this bone like right here. Yeah. It was
pretty graphic. Yeah, it was in fifteen hour surgery.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Was it recovery crazy?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I was in the hospital for six days, and I
remember like the when I came home, my friends all
my I love my friends, all my all my gaze
we love the gays. Yes. At that time, I think
he was like my friend was you know, Sergio and
his x now Leo, they were both like taking care
of me, and my roommate and other friends were just
coming around. And I remember like seven eighth day, I
(08:03):
was just like looking at my face and I was
like I started crying, like just regretting it, like because
I looked fucking scary. It looked it looked bad, yeah,
so swollen, like you know, I was like why did
I do this? Like, and everyone's like I remember before,
people are like, don't do it, don't do it, you
don't need to do it. You don't need to do it,
but I knew what I saw. You know, now that
I'm like recover, everyone's like, oh my gosh, yeah I
(08:25):
see the different. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I didn't really realize what it was gonna do. But
now when I see before and after pictures, I'm like, Okay,
I get it. Yeah, yeah, because it just did refine
everything and not just I.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Just feel like now, like I love wearing makeups. So
sometimes yes, I'll be atle heavy or sometimes I'm like
more my natural, but I love that I can go
natural without looking like masculine, you know. Yeah, like I
can be softer with that. Right now?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Is it softer your makeup?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Right, it looks pretty like what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I don't really wear like foundation, It's more like a
skin tint now.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Okay, yeah, so I like there's still more compre.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
For sure, for sure.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
And then obviously I recovered from that, and then my
last surgery was my gender assignment surgery, which I did.
You know, honestly, I was like losing hope with that.
Oh girl, you were supposed to pay.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
For that, yeah, I was. Yeah, I was going to
tell you.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I sent me a check I did.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I told her I was gonna, but we stopped talking.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yeah I was.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I told her, I said, I'm going to help you
all pay for it. Yeah, and then we stopped talking
and didn't happen. But then how did that go about?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Like you so.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Look my face, I got it paid. Don't attack me, people,
but I got it paid to the state, my face.
I did. How bad I did? Because during pandemic, I
was like I had qualified for like medical and all that,
oh okay, and so they were doing like not they weren't.
They were renewing everybody for like three years. So like
I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna I'm
getting it, Like I'm not gonna, you know, make it
(09:47):
a big deal.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
So I ended up getting that this surgery. I did
do it through my insurance, with my own insurance. I
ended up paying nine thousand out of pocket, which isn't
bad because I think the total cost was like one
hundred and eighty thousand. Oh wow, States and the States
is ridiculous, like and that's why I think people don't
do it or they go to like overseas to do it,
you know.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Okay, Yeah, you told me you wanted to go to Bangkok. Yeah, yeah,
And that was a thing. It was a Bangkok, Thailand whatever.
I just like saying bankok but okay, yeah, so that.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Was a whole. It was like ten grand Yeah, it
was like ten.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I was like, okay, I got you. Let's backtrack a
tiny bit, because when did you I've always wondered because
I really do feel and some people may disagree with me,
but I really do feel that people are born gay too.
There's some people that feel that they become gay or
(10:42):
maybe they get curious and then they want to try
different or the same sex whatever. But I do really
feel and I've had these conversations with Gerald remembers all
he told me he knew when he was a little boy,
like he was four six years old, and he's like,
I had a crush on a boy.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
And I have had these conversations and I really do
feel that when when did you feel?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Or how?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
How give me your experience? Because I think it's did
you ever feel trapped?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Body?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Okay, yeah, trapped for sure? And I always I grew
up with sisters, right, but I have cousins and everything,
like male cousins and everything. But my I always wanted to,
like dress into their stuff, which, mind you, I think
every little boys regardless does that right, don't put on
their mom's heels to do that, right. But I just
like I felt like more like Podosa, I guess, like
(11:26):
more like powerful like and I don't know, it was
just something in me, but it was something that I
felt like I had to hide, like I didn't want
no one knowing that or especially be Yeah, well not
just not just that you grow up like realistically, you
grew up with you, you know, hearing your parents say like
a mariicon and stuff like that, so you always have
that already, Like I can't be that. You know, you
(11:48):
you You're going to be like a disgrace, right, So
even just like I remember my mom, like we used
to like we used to take care of kids and everything,
and I would always want to play house and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm the on' this Like it was
just like a horrible game to play as kids. I
don't know why we kids want to grow up so fast,
right and play house? But yeah, I just always wanted that,
(12:09):
Like I always wanted to feel like I was a girl,
even like when I was growing up like maybe twelve thirteen,
I ended up losing a Virginia at thirteen, very very young,
but I just wanted I wanted to see what it was,
you know. And but even then, like I would feel
like I don't feel manly enough, and I just always
I always wanted someone like above me to like hold me,
(12:30):
take care of me. But yeah, ever since I was little.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I howld were you when you first felt that.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Like twelve or thirteen, okay, okay, when you.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Were like, oh I felt more, Yeah, like you wanted
to be held, you want to be protected, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Yeah, And it was the thing that I went through.
Like I kind of don't like when people say, like,
oh they're gay because they were like molested or there
were this. I mean, that could be a case, you know,
but with you, it it wasn't. It wasn't that at all.
I had a really good childhood and everything. But yeah,
I always I always felt for sure, I always felt gay,
right I would, because I didn't know what like being
trans was or anything like that. You know, it was
very very small town. But yeah, I just I always knew.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, and when did you realize that you wanted to be?
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Like so with third so I want to say I
started doing hair when I was like seventeen, right, and
then I think like at nineteen twenty, I started wearing
like makeup, and then I kind of started just wearing
like women's jeans and then just stuff like that. Didn't
really know what it was, but there was some There
was like one gay club out there was called like
out and About. It was literally like forty five fifty
(13:33):
minutes away from where we lived, and we would go
there once in a while and they would do like
drag shows. That's like the only thing I would see
like that, you know. So I'm like, oh my god,
that's so cool, right.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And and you felt at home there.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I felt at home, yeah, But I also you knew
you once you go home. That was like done right,
you had to just you know. And but I think
I always knew certain stuff, but not I didn't know enough, right.
And then I think when I moved Tire, I ended
up meeting people. I met, you know, Jia. I ended
(14:05):
up meeting her, and then I was like, Okay, she's
really happy, like with her life and everything. And I
remember someone had referred me to like black market hormones,
and I started I did that and for like six
months which was like the worst thing I could ever do.
I think I ended up like in the er twice,
like I was literally felt like I was obviously I
think I was putting too much in. You don't you
(14:26):
don't know the proper dosage, you don't know what to
shoot up right, and you the problem is you see
all these people that have transition and they have these
nice curve bodies, they have this, and they give like
this false hope that you transition, you're going to look
like this. You don't. Yeah, So then that's when I
think I started going to like this the LGBT Center.
And then that's when I properly was like, Okay, this
(14:48):
is who I am. And I remember going to like
therapy and counseling there and really just finding myself.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So there is the LGBT Central Center, Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, because I mean, I mean I definitely I don't
know if you want to tell them, but yeah, like
not to go through the black market, because don't it
is so scary.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
You do not don't get butt shots, don't do none
of that, like honestly, like take your time and transitioning.
There's a lot of people that I looked up too
that I was just like, oh my gosh, there looks
so good in this. And then they would say, oh,
it's the hormones, it's this, it's this. No, it's not
their liars because now they all have come out with
videos like and these are like YouTubers like oh wow,
(15:30):
and I don't want to say their names.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I can stand no no more.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
But like I I was given that false like oh
my gosh, and I know I got on black market
hormones because of these people sometimes, you know, and now
they all came out like oh my silicon butt injections,
this and that, like don't do that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Now, start getting infection.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Infection that's spreading some of them. You can lose your leg,
like I had a friend that almost died literally, you know, scar, Yeah,
don't do that.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
And in this at the center here that you're talking about,
they they help finance that stuff a nonprofit.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yes it's nonprofit. It's here in Hollywood. And they are
the ones that refer you to be honest, like to
even doctors that will help you get like life will
bbl like all that stuff, you know, like most of
the stuff is covered. You know, I didn't know there's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Of stuff being informed you guys.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, and researching I was able to you know, change
my name everything like that through help, through the resources,
you know, birth certificate everything.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
So it's safe to say for sure when you moved
here in twenty fourteen was when you really just stepped
into Mia completely. Yes, yeah, right because okay, because when
I met you, your name was different. But when you
came here, it's like when I feel like you flourished,
yeah in every way, like fast, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I mean it felt fast. Now it feels fast, but
like I did. Take Look, this is my thing now
with people that are transitioning. Now again, now, the people
that are transitioning, I think people some of them are
seeing it as a trend, which is like sucks because
then then there's the people that are de transitioning because
they again I think were fed this like oh my gosh,
(17:05):
I'm gonna look fish. I'm gonna look you know fish
meaning like girl, you know, like very very girl, Like
I'm gonna look this, I'm gonna look that. So there
are people are transitioning really really fast and then they're like,
oh shit, that's not who I am. Let me do transition,
and it's giving us a bad rep because they're like, oh,
it is a mental illness, it is a sickness, it's
this you know. Yeah, and a lot of these people.
(17:26):
So look, when I first transitioned, I remember, like the
restroom issue is a huge thing, right, I remember, like, Okay,
I started wearing makeup, letting my hair grow out. I
still would not go into the women's restroom. I if
it was like a family restroom, I would go in there.
And if I really had to go, I would just
go into the men's restroom one because I needed everyone
(17:47):
to feel safe around me, right, Yeah. And nowadays you
see these people and I'm not coming for anyone, but
it's just it's a scary world. It's I say, for
the safety of them as well. Yeah, Like if you
can use a public family restore, do that, because there's
people that are transitioning, like all of a sudden day
one I'm trans Then they go into a female restroom
and like, you just don't know who you're making uncomfortable
(18:09):
or not, just that the uncomfortable position you're putting yourself in.
There's crazy people out there that will kill you.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, And that's and that's what I was going to
ask you, because I remember when I met you. You
you had your makeup, your hair was shorter, so it's
like and I always wondered, and this is I mean,
this is the first time I ask you, but did
you ever feel scared to go into the men's restrooms?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
That at the airport at Lax one time was like
one of my worst time worst encounters. So I was
at Lax literally going back home for I think the holidays,
and my hair was still kind of short and everything
full makeup at the airport like literally like over dramatic,
and I had to like go restrooms so bad, and
(18:51):
I was like, you know what, funck, I'm just going
to run to the men's restroom. Literally, security comes after me,
like banging in the door. You're in the wrong restroom,
You're in the wrong restroom. They like escorted me, and
I was like, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. Literally
I think my d was still my old name. Everything
showed them and they're like they didn't even know what
to do about it, like and I was like, I'm
gonna miss my flight. Luckily, they just like I didn't
(19:12):
help me there for like five minutes, like you know,
just be careful. Luckily, the guy was really nice, but
obviously they were like alerted at first, someone told them, like,
you're in the wrong freaking restroom, right, But if I
would have gone too the women's restroom, what would have happened?
What I had gotten arrested?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
See, you know, and I remember like panicing, like, oh
my gosh, they're making this big old freaking scene.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Like and you probably felt embar embarrassed, embarrassed, and did
other dudes ever look at you like guys, yeah, and
we're kind of like.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
So, I mean I would never go like pee like
on a star or that, I would go into it.
I would go into not not the yarals. I would
go into like an actual star, you know. But yeah,
it was it was scary and so most of the time,
like at that time though, I would go party in
weehole a lot, so it wasn't like I was going
to like straight places to go party. So we hold you.
It's very going to wherever restroom you.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Right, okay, but still like at the airport and things
like that, like I have. It's it's a whole thing,
and it's like conversations we've had off of camera in
regards to to.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
It, like now now you're fine. Now you got to
the women's restroom and you're totally fine.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
But when you're transitioning, it's just I guess, yes, the
safest thing is to find a family restaurant somewhere.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Where it is. And I see people arguing all the time,
like I'm a woman, and I'm like, you're not, Like
you're not yet. You need to stop. You need to relax,
and you need to understand how others feel too, Like
other people have their children in there, like imagine like.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, I want to know your perspective on that, Like
what do you visit?
Speaker 3 (20:38):
People get mad when I'm like, I'm a little trumpy
when it comes to stuff like this, Okay, but because
I feel like in that case, I back then, I
was very much more vocal like, oh my gosh, rights,
our rights, our rights. Yes, I do stand for our
rights one hundred percent, but I also stand for the
safety of others, you know, Like I like I said,
(20:58):
I feel like if you're like day one of your
transition and you don't not that it's because see this
is the kid. The scary part of saying stuff like
this when you say, oh, you don't look passable, you
shouldn't go in there. No, I'm not coming for you.
It's just what I'm saying is that people are still
going to look at you as a man. As it is,
people still look at me as a man. I don't
have an issue with it, no one, because I know
I don't look like one, you know, but and I
(21:20):
know the hard work I put into it. And the
thing is that people now they want to transition in
the second day they are a woman, and you can't.
You have to think about your safety and the risk
you're putting others in as well.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Okay, you know, okay, So so for you, in your opinion,
do you feel that someone that's barely starting their transition
that still look a little bit more male than female,
but they're wearing makeup but don't have their parts, like
having transitioned completely, should still go into like if it's
a male into the male's rest into a man's restaurant.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
It's it's just it's hard. That's why it's hard to
pick and choose. It's super hard to pick and choose
because I'm like, I don't want to say that and
then them get like murder in there, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Right, That's what I worry about.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Because if there's that's why I'm saying, like, if you
can find a family restroom, try to do that for
your own safety, because then you just never know. There's
weirdos out there, there's people like and and and then
again people use this whole thing like oh, that's why,
like rape happens because people are dressing up as women
and going into that doesn't happen. That happens between families unfortunately, right,
(22:24):
But like, yeah, I always tell people, if you can
find a family restroom, do it for your own safety.
You know, until you feel you look more presentable and
or you're somewhere that it's safe, you know, like just
look around or ask someone, just ask, like you have
a family restroom, Like yeah, it's just now from the
experience that I've seen in the faces that I've gotten,
(22:44):
that's why I tell people that.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
You've you've I've experienced the experienced, you know, and yeah,
it's hard.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
It's just you know what I feel. I feel bad
saying this, but I feel like we have put in
the work, and there's people like again I'm saying, they
transition all of a sudden, they want all this respect.
I've actually put in the work. We put in the
work to consider ourselves trans women, you know, and say
(23:12):
like I've done my part.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
You know, because you feel now more than ever that
there are people that are giving trans a bad names, yes,
like not really going through the entire process.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yeah, and they feel so entitled. And also the people
that are getting recognized that are becoming the face of
the community, you know, and that's bad for them to
be the face because that's not who we are, that's
not who we represent, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, And that's one thing that I like about you
is that you've been very open about your entire process
and your beliefs are are very different, I feel in
a good way though, you know, you're very honest. Yeah,
and I think that can also that's that's going to
give the community more longevity and more respect if there
(23:59):
are people that really like this, this is my true identity,
and I take it seriously and I'm not only just
like fighting for my rights, but like you said, for
everyone's safety and because at the end of the day,
it's your choice, and it's like it still makes other
people uncomfortable, so you're also thinking about them or children
that you know, I always say, speak to your kids,
be honest about what's going on in the world about
(24:20):
gay and the whole community.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Everything starts at home. Everything starts at home. Like you
see these some of these kids, like the way they speak,
I'm like, that's because of their parents, you know. Like
it's like kids like it can go anywhay, Like when
kids wear like gain attire clothing like what they have
at home. You know what I mean. You teach your
kids love and respect at home, and that goes a
long way. Yeah, right, And yeah, you have to like
(24:44):
when people say, oh, I don't like kids seeing two
boys kissing or two girls. Teach your kids about love.
That's all it is, you know. And like I said,
all that starts at home. Yeah, and you have to
be open with.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Your kids about it because if not, they're going to
see it, especially now with social media. I feel like
I'd rather my kids come to me and say, hey,
what's Let me explain it to you. Let me show
you how children are born or how they're made. And
and these are people's choices and this is what it is.
And as my personal opinion.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
If your kids want to express themselves, let them express themselves.
You know, Like when I things I don't like seeing
obviously is like I remember one time I was like, oh,
this is like five years ago and Charlotte Ruis was
still open. This little boy was like, oh you could
arrest those like these shoes, like and he was innocent,
like just when the dad pulled them up, like I'm like,
that's so fucked up. But I was like, you know what,
(25:33):
my kid now, my kid, I'm not a parent. And
that's one thing I sucks when I try to tell
people something because I like, well, you're not a parent.
I know I'm not, but like I'm just saying, teachers,
it's about love, yeah, and just don't be you know,
it's maybe it's a face. He just wanted to try
that shoe on, that it.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Happened, and saying stuff like that, and public especially you know,
because liquor even like those are words of they haunt you.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
They haunt you. Yeah, exactly, even if what if he
is the little boy is.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
And now he's growing up thinking like damn, I can
never be because my dad just traumatized me in at
the mall.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
You know, yeah, how did your dad take it?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
You know? I remember like telling my parents I was
I started up, I was by and they're like whatever, right,
there's still.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Hope, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And then and then I came out as gay, and
then I don't think they really said much after that.
And then I remember when I started transitioning. I told
my mom first I was already living here, and you know,
my mom was like yes and this and this and that,
you know. And at that point, I think I had
already built them up to like not care about certain
stuff because I felt like I was a black sheep
in my family, that I was very different. I'm very outspoken,
(26:46):
and I was I was thinking I was building her
up for that. And then I remember at one point
when I was like telling her, like, you can't call
me that anymore, like, and I stopped talking to her
for a moment, right, It was like a heart a month,
and I just I couldn't give in.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I could.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I had to like not teach her lesson, but tell
her like, I love you, but this is who I
am now, right. So then I remember having I told her,
you need to tell my dad because I didn't want
to say it. He was very very like I used
to go hunting with him, like I used to do
a lot of like very much, yes, very very much,
he's that, you know. And I remember going back.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
I can't even imagine you're asked hunting girl.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I used to hunt. I used to choose fish. Oh wow,
I'm very handy. Like when it comes to like building stuff, yeah,
I used to. Yeah, my friends always like, okay, you
can have me building something.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
And she's a badass baker, you guys make she makes
this bomb ass banana some freaking oh please.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
So it's the bed. It's so moist banana chocolate chip,
banana chocolate chip.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I got it out of this like old ass book
that I found. It's a good will literally really yes.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
It was literally a socious book.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Yeah, so good. So then okay, So I was going
to go back home to my cousins kin Signetta, which
is my dad's brother's daughters Skins Signetta, right, and I
still had no boobs thing yet, but I was already
like wearing long hair and everything. And then I remember
like telling my mom like did you tell my dad?
I's like yeah, I told him. I told him, don't
you know, it's fine, it's fine. I remember getting ready
(28:11):
going to this we're getting we're going there, and my
sister in her car. I remember just like I started bawling.
The only thing I was ever scared of my dad
is him feeling some type of way of my family
saying something to him about me, like making him feel
less up or making him feel like he failed as
a parent. That was what I was scared. I'm the baby,
(28:32):
I'm the only boy. It was the only boy. It
was the only boy. Yeah, Like that was his baby, right,
And I know his in his wallet he still has
a picture of me like when I was a little boy,
Like he always has that picture, like he still has
it to this day. But I remember that was like
my biggest fear was just like what my if my
family would have said something to him.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, and I I remember to cause him pain because
of yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Right, So I remember like I was hyper ventilated like
a I just like, no, you're fine, You're fine, You're fine.
I just come, just come. And I remember just like
walking because I think I landed the day before and
I didn't go see them. And I saw my mom
only in the morning because I think I curled her
hair for the So yeah, I hadn't seen my dad
though at all. And this he really hadn't seen much.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
You know, seeing like you're you as a woman.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yes, And I remember I wore a black dress and
uh yeah, it was I ket walking in though. I
was like, oh my gosh, okay, everyone was looking everyone, everyone, everyone,
all my dad's family was there, Washington, Washington. Yeah. And
I started saying hi to some people that were kind
of that. I whatever skipped a lot of my family
(29:41):
and then I got to my more. My parents were
and I said, I said hi, and like nothing.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
He was fine.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
He was fine, and.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
He's always because does he know you you did compla.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Not the last surgery. The last surgery. My mom knows
about it. My family knows about it, but I never
told him. I just think that's like a weird conversation
to him. So I'm like, you know, maybe if he
still feels like some thing, let him feel that, you know, like, yeah,
let me not take everything away from him, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
No, I get that because I mean it must be
hard for parents, you know, because for them it's like
they have especially because you were the only boy, had
these dreams and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
You guys went hunting and all this.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
But I mean, it's beautiful to see that your parents,
your parents love you enough to say I just want
her to be happy. Yeah, I remember, like, and now
your mom calls you by me?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Oh yeah yeah yeah only yeah, and my fad some
of my cousins, they'll try to call me my old
name and they'll be like, oh, that's all I've known you.
I'm like, if my mom has to call me my
new name, so you if you don't, I'm done with you.
Like I am at that cut off. I'm cutting off
people because you expect me. Yes, why why should you
get that chance to call me that when I don't
(30:47):
even let my mom call me that? You know?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
That makes sense? Absolutely? And what's your dad call you?
Speaker 3 (30:53):
So? No, no, no, no, so they call me my mom calls.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
You by Mia.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
But like one time I got there, I like today
from the airport like all glam so ever since then
my dads like, oh yeah, so I'm like, okay, whatever,
so he.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Calls you, yeah, does he call you mihw or anything
like that.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
I don't like You'll just be like okay, I mean.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's whatever better than yeah my old name.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Yeah, I'm like that. I know. Everyone's like in Washington
everything that you go back there, you're fine.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
You don't like a little local celebrity to them. No,
it's honestly, I love when I go out there just
seeing like old people that I used to like associate
myself like friends back then. It's fun, you know. But yeah,
like people still trip out and yeah, you know, but.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Do you feel like it's getting better?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
I feel like it is. Like I saw they had
a Pride recently, like a Pride festival, like two weeks ago,
and I mean, like like any other Pride festival, there's
people outside protesting of course, you know, but like it's
it's come a long way.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, I definitely feel like it's more accepted, I guess now,
and I think that that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
The thing is that when people when I say Washington,
everyone assumes Seattle. I'm not from Seattle. Seattle is three
hours up north from US. We are in the lower part,
so we're like in all the farm area, which is
very conservative. That's the conservative part, the part that makes
Washington a Democrat state. Seattle, which is a tiny corner
but it's obviously overpopulated. That's the only thing. The rest
(32:28):
of it is so conservative. We're also borderline to Idaho,
you know. Yeah, so it's all farm people. You know,
so that's very close minded, you know, but they come along.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Way, but it's they're coming a long way. And I'm
glad that you probably say that's where I'm from.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
That's I never deny where I'm from. I always say, like,
I'm from Washington, small little town, grand View, and born
and raised around there. So I love.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
That you have to be proud of where you come from.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You know what I mean, what do you feel is
that it has been the most difficult part of your transition,
is there or has it just been like do you
finally feel like, oh I'm whole.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I'm mean, I feel whole.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I feel one hundred percent whole. But one thing I
always taught you don't need the surch you don't need
the last surgery like to feel whole. Right for me,
I did, ok, But then after this surgery I did
have to be like, Okay, now I have to fully
accept myself because even though that surgery was done, you know,
(33:26):
you're still I been anesthesia kind of whereas in and
out of your body where you're kind of like, oh,
like you start questioning certain stuff, right, yeah, But now
I was like, I think, like two months ago, I
was like, you know, I really do have to feel
one hundred percent myself and I did. I did, like
some soul searching. I was like, okay this, I don't
need a man. I don't need I just needed to
feel whole myself. And once I accepted that, I was like, Okay,
(33:49):
I feel good.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
You feel fine? Yeah, because you want to get married right, yeah?
I do.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah, I do want to not right now, I'm going
to have a hot girl summer but.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Nice yes, hot girl summer summer.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah, the cat in full effect. But you know, like
I would love that. I would love that. You know,
do you.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Feel now that you're completely transitioned, would you still tell
someone oh I'm trans or like the guy that you meet.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yes, but not right there. I also, this is the
thing with me and people. I don't go around like
say I'm at a bar and you're like, oh so,
so I don't say that, cahi ama, I'm trans Okay,
never do that one. You never know. It is safety.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You're safety again. Yes, never know how people are.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yes, but always do tell. If anything, I'm not going
to go home and hook up with this guy, I
will get their number. I'll be like, oh, let's just
change numbers or I'll get my social media or something
like that. Sometimes I'm very like about social media because
I'm like, where if they go far back? I have
archived so much stuff now. But because again I don't
know people haunting me with old pictures or stuff like that,
(34:52):
you know, But I will tell them if I if
I see the conversations going somewhere with them, like it's
not just a dumb converce. I'm like, hey, just so
you know I am you know, I'm transgender thissiness, and
that explain, you know, if they don't know it. Sometimes
it's like, oh, I'm cool with that. You want to
fuck Then I'm like, okay, I'm done with this conversation too,
you know now I'm done with that conversation. Yeah. Yeah,
(35:15):
but yeah. I always you have to tell people. You
have to be one hundred percent no no, And I
hear these stories and I don't. I don't want to
say that's why some people people get killed, but that
is that's one of the reasons. Or some people also
can't stand that they knew that they slept with someone
that's trans, so they end up killing them. But always
disclose that and always make sure that people know who
(35:36):
you're with. I told all my friends, like, hey, I've
been with this person or this person's coming over, Like
I'll send pictures some of what they look like or whatever,
just in case, just in case my location. I share
it with like thirty people. Yeah, you know, like you.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Have to safeties first, and I think always being honest
and upfront so that you don't mislead anybody in all
the best space, so that you're safe and they're safe
and they have at least a.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Chance and the opportunity to say yes or no. Exactly.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Okay, So before we go, I do want to ask
because on your social media, what I love too is
that you're you come across as a very confident woman,
and I think that you can be of a you know,
an inspiration to people in the community. Where do you
think that that confidence comes from. Has it always been there?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Is it something? Is it a front? Is it something now.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
That you really feel because you you're like, this is
why I love that. But I mean, I've been honest
about how I used to portray myself and how I
thought I was confident, but it wasn't really confident.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
It was I have to say that about you too, though, Yeah,
it was it was it wasn't. I feel like I've
had to portray that, Like I had to portray that
I was very confident, and I or my friends always
telling me like, you're so strong, you're so there's what
you know, you shouldn't have an issue, and it would
make me cry because I would just feel like you
guys fucking think that, but I'm not. I'm not like
(37:00):
I's it's a front. It's something that so I don't
feel torn down, I don't feel like you can get
to me. Yeah, because I'll give you the satisy. Yes, yes,
So what happened? I want to say, Like twenty sixteen,
I remember I had posted like that whole picture with
like the slurs like all over my body, and then
Kylie Jenner had reposted it, right, and that was the
beginning of like the hate. I feel like, the like
(37:24):
go kill yourself, go do this, go do that. And
that's where I feel like I had to become even
more confident, more stronger and act like it didn't hurt me,
but it did so for I do feel up until
like twenty twenty is when I started kind of being
more in tune of my feelings. And then I did
stop posting a lot. I I used to post like
(37:45):
three four times a week, and now it's like rare
when I like, I'll post like once every two three weeks.
You know, I do post on my story a lot,
but I I am scared of what people say sometimes
and I am stronger, but I am more in tune
my things. I know I have to you have to
read those comments. Sometimes you have to read the hate, right.
But I now I know they can't bring me down.
(38:06):
But before it was all up front, it was all like,
that's what I have to be. I have to show
people I'm a strong bitch. You can't get to me.
You can tell me off, you can say whatever you want.
But I'm a strong bitch. But I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, no, I completely agree with that because.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
It can with you. You know, you went through so
much hate the first I.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Really I've experienced bullying since I was little about my weight,
and then I came into this world, in this industry,
and I just felt like I always felt beautiful, and
I felt like I never knew that I was big.
I only knew that I was fat because people would
tell me, Oh, you're so fat, you come out on
TV you shouldn't like so many things, and then I
(38:46):
would be like, oh my god, I guess I am,
but I felt so it was just thinking of like
I'm not gonna let you.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Guys get to me.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
I'm strong and I know what I am inside my
heart and now like it's it's this thing of like
I know who I am in my core, so you
know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
But it was it was hard.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Okay, now that you've lost weight, you went on this
like healthy journey right like you. I'm sure you do
feel though sometimes like oh now there's things that I
don't like. It's it's you're never gonna win that though,
because I remember I told you last time to like
I don't remember you being that big.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I see pictures and I'm like, what you're like throwing.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Your photoshop them right now? Like but you know you just.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Said, let's you guysn't call me fat all day long?
Can you call me ugly?
Speaker 3 (39:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
No, you can't, No you can't you know and.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
No, even like you know what's crazy. I feel like
I used to get hit on more though back then
I feel like than I do.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Now, maybe because I have a man, but I was
in some ways more physically confident is bigger than now
that I'm like, I walked in like insecurities now because
now it's like I now I can I feel confident
with wearing sleeveless shirts, but then like my loose skin
because of my arms.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Just saying I was like resting up for this, I
was like, no, like I need to have some kind
of leave that, you know, and surgery can't fix it
all you guys, it's it's you also have to fix
your head first, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
YEA love who you are inside, and it makes you
radiate different. Too many people focus on wanting to fix themselves,
like on the exterior and don't take care of this
and this, and then it's just it's just.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Then they have body for the rest of our life exactly.
And so it's honestly, it does irritate me because obviously,
I really I am a common person. I go on
people like I grow even with you when you post
something I like, I've seen you pictures like oh I
don't like this, you know, you know, but I'm very like.
But I also because I start thinking about what everyone
says and I'm just like, oh my gosh, but I
(40:44):
hate them. People are like Oh, you have money, you
can go do this, you said, or she's probably lying,
she did all this, this this, No, it's just it's
once you once you got like into this journey and
everything and you start loving yourself, it's very different and you're.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yes, truly accepting who you are and being okay with
expressing things and mistakes, past mistakes or whatever. Like that's
when you know, like I've reached the point of really
loving who I am and not having to do and
say and act certain ways to make other people happy.
It's like I'm really soul searching and seeking to be
(41:21):
the best version of myself that even if I do
have a little bit of loose kin like I don't know,
it's like I'm.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
All for I'm off here here and I'm all for surgery.
I also work for a surgery center. Outside of people,
go for it, do it if you can do it,
but do it for yourself. One don't ever do it
for a man, because if the regardless you know what
I mean, do it for yourself. It's if it's going
to make you feel better, but make sure you're you're
you're okay here, because that is the most important thing ever,
(41:49):
you know, So.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
So yeah, share your socials with people so that they
can follow you.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
And my Instagram is I am me a podcast my
only fans, I'm just okkay No, my TikTok is I
am Mia Vargas eight one A, So I am right,
I am I A. Yeah, I am Mia Vargas and
then just the TikTok one is with eight one A.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Okay, oh nice?
Speaker 1 (42:13):
All right, well, Mia, thank you so much for being
on the podcast, for being such an open book. I
know that this will help a lot of people that
I feel like maybe haven't even come out yet and
are living with this, and maybe they watched this and
listen to our conversation and they're able to just be
themselves step into being who they really are meant to be,
(42:34):
which is my whole thing with this podcast from like,
I just want to have conversations with real people, and
you're definitely someone that I've had in my life for
a long time and I really love and appreciate.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
So thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
And before we go, I do want to tell you
here in front of everyone, but I'm gonna go ahead
and keep my word and I'm gonna write you a check, bitch,
because I did tell you, So I'm gonna be the
Madrina of that Kuci.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Thank you did, because I did.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Tell you that I remember exactly where I was at. Yes,
oh my god, we were drunk and I remember we
were in the restaurant. That's so funny that you say that,
because I went back to that moment. I was like,
I remember and I've always remembered now that you brought
it up. So I'm a woman on my words. So
I will write you a check for your retraina.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
I appreciate that. I love bitch.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I will
catch you on the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill
see you. This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike
Wa podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at mike wa
Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q
(43:47):
U y s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Hello, guys, and welcome to this episode of Cheee'e and Chill.
I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It is June.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It is my favorite month. It is my birthday month.
And it's also Pride month, you guys. And I'm not
sure if you know, but the very first Pride March
was in nineteen seventy in New York, you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
So I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I'm a huge supporter of the LGBTQ plus community, and
so I wanted to have a deep conversation with a
friend of mine. Her name is Mia Vargas. She is
an influencer, a hairdresser. She's also a cancer and she's
a trans woman. And since it is, you know, Pride month,
I thought it would be very nice to have a
conversation with her because she's a very open book and
(00:50):
I love that about her.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So how are you, miya?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'm good, how are you? Thank you?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Your excited? I know, right. So we're cancer sisters. Your
birthday is in July.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
July fifth, so we're a little different of cancers. You're
a different cancer.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Than I am.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Okay, so what do you Okay? We've I think we've
talked about this on the podcasts. I'm always talking about this,
but there is definitely a difference between June and July cancers.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Okay, how do you think that you're different?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
For me, I and some things were the same. I
feel like emotion wise we are, but I feel I
don't know, just seeing like certain stuff, I'm like, oh no,
we're a little differ, like I don't know, I don't
even know how to describe it, but there is a difference.
So there's a huge difference because I know your mom
with cancer too.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But July cancer July second.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah, so it's just even the attitude. Yeah, it's very different. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I think you guys are a little bit more spicy, yes, right.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
For sure, more impulsive, yeah, oh, very impulsive, super impassive.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And I think a little bit more of like way
to say, I'm a different cancer.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
But still we're wonderful.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We're very like, yeah, empathetic, nurturing, very motherly.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Right everywhere people are like, oh my gosh, you give
me like this mother like instinct.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Even my friend, yeah, with you like to take care.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Of Yes, even if I'm like if we're out like partying,
and I'm like, okay, I feel drunk. I need to
calm down because I need to make sure like my
friends are good. You know, Yeah, I trd you aren't that.
I'm very with anyone. I just I feel so like responsible,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah too, And like talking about that we've known each
other for ten years now, ten years twenty fourteen we met, Yes,
should we talk about how we met? We can't, Okay,
so go ahead take it away, miya.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I started working for your friend Vanessa and I met
remember Norwood Bar, at.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
The Norwood Bar at the Woody. You guys have good
times there.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I haven't been there in ten years. Yeah, I know,
we met there and we just always had a relationship
since then.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So when I met Mia, I think you were barely starting.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I think I was just like a boy and makeup.
I think kind of like more feminine, but yeah, not fully.
I don't think. I had just moved here. So I
have moved here from the state of Washington. Remember it's
very different, yeah, very I had been here for one
month and it was it was a like a culture
shock in a way, knowing that there's people that are
like that that can be openly happy here, and so
(03:19):
I was just getting a taste of that, and I
feel like I started surrounding myself with like with you guys,
with people that I knew, and I started feeling comfortable
with being who I am. And then I experienced like
West Hollywood and all that, and I was like, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Then you became a Hucci.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yeah, I became a became for the streets, for the streets.
I love it streets.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's one thing I love about you. You're so open.
We're gonna get all into that.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
But going back to how we met, the reason we
were a little hesitant is because I'm still friends with
Vanessa me as no longer friends with Vanessa. Actually Vanessa
and Ayako Madrees. She's been on the podcast as well.
We have Plantita's hair care, which she uses it she
loves so even though she doesn't talk to Vanessa and
there's no communication.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
And honestly, I've always I've said it before like I had,
there's no hard feelings, no nothing. I'm honestly I am
happy for her success and everything she's done. I wanted
to work for her. I love I admire that about her.
It's just the relationship didn't work out, and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
How did you work there at her salon like four.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Months maybe, Okay, so it was it was it was
just it was short. It was a short time, and
it was.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And then that's how we met and we became really cool,
like since the first day I met you, yeah, and
then since then we've been friends.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
And then I think in twenty eighteen you and I had.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
A fallout, yes, which you know, I'm always really straight
up with everyone here, So we had a follo out.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I think we didn't talk for like what a couple
of years.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Two year three and twenty twenty if you we kind of.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Started talking, like during the pandemic when everyone's heart was
really you know, damn, like life might end, and then
we kind of started talking. I don't know exactly how,
but I never really had an issue with you. I
think because we have a very good friend, a mutual friend, yes,
very good yeah. Yes, So and it's Ellen and a
lot of you like my og boss bees will know.
(05:03):
So Ellen and I had a falling out and it
just kind of was that thing of like, okay, you
gotta choose sides, I guess in a way, so she
kind of stuck with Ellen. There was like a lot
of craziness during that time, miscommunication and stuff that we
already like clear's.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Communication for sure, And at the time I was also
very close to Ellen, and I just I you know,
like you said, like that not that motherly, but I
just I needed to stick by her, you know, at
that time. I'm glad I did. At the end of
the day, like and now we're all good again.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, and you actually brought us together.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was it was me, Yeah, like, let's go have fun.
I love yeah, I love fu.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
No. Yeah, it was just a miscommunication that had to
It should have been a dressed sooner, but it didn't,
and things happened for a reason, and you know, she
ended up having her baby and everything. Yeah, so little boy,
wow everything. I think sometimes in friendships you need little pauses. Yeah,
and that one was one of them. Man.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
For sure, I definitely grew.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I think everyone kind of stepped into their own and well, anyways,
Ellen and I are good, We're all good. So I
just kind of wanted to get that out of the way,
because yes, I've known her since twenty fourteen, but you know,
I always was kind of like I wonder what, you know,
what me is doing or whatnot. And I thought it
would be perfect, a perfect time for you to come
on the podcast because we've talked about it, but since
it is Pride month and I think that you're someone
(06:20):
that has always been very open about your process. Yes,
and I've been there with her, I think through like.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Most of it, yeah, most of it.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, so you're completely transitioned to at this point.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Completely one hundred percent. My last surgery was December fourteenth
of twenty twenty three. Yeah, so six months now, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And how many surgeries have you had? Because you had the.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
So I got my breast done, I got my I
got I ended up playing a tummy tucks. I had
lost weight and our tummy tuck. Then I got light
with BBL. I got like with BYBL twice, which now
I regret why my as just got too big. I
feel like I was like in that like yeah, and
now I know you've lost way again. I'm like, damn,
like I need to get that fixed right. But and
(07:03):
it's a huge in security of mine. But then I
got my face. I got my nose done. First, I
got my nose done because I had like a bumps.
I got my nose done. Then I got my ffs
of facial feminization surgery, which I.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
She showed me those very gnarley guys.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah, like she literally cut from here to here, like
pulled down. Yeah, shaved all the inside of my mouth
through like the inside because it feminized, yes, to soften,
to soften this bone like right here. Yeah. It was
pretty graphic. Yeah, it was in fifteen hour surgery.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Was it recovery crazy?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I was in the hospital for six days, and I
remember like the when I came home, my friends all
my I love my friends, all my all my gaze
we love the gays. Yes. At that time, I think
he was like my friend was you know, Sergio and
his x now Leo, they were both like taking care
of me, and my roommate and other friends were just
coming around. And I remember like seven eighth day, I
(08:03):
was just like looking at my face and I was
like I started crying, like just regretting it, like because
I looked fucking scary. It looked it looked bad, yeah,
so swollen, like you know, I was like why did
I do this? Like, and everyone's like I remember before,
people are like, don't do it, don't do it, you
don't need to do it. You don't need to do it,
but I knew what I saw. You know, now that
I'm like recover, everyone's like, oh my gosh, yeah I
(08:25):
see the different. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I didn't really realize what it was gonna do. But
now when I see before and after pictures, I'm like, Okay,
I get it. Yeah, yeah, because it just did refine
everything and not just I.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Just feel like now, like I love wearing makeups. So
sometimes yes, I'll be atle heavy or sometimes I'm like
more my natural, but I love that I can go
natural without looking like masculine, you know. Yeah, like I
can be softer with that. Right now?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Is it softer your makeup?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Right, it looks pretty like what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I don't really wear like foundation, It's more like a
skin tint now.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Okay, yeah, so I like there's still more compre.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
For sure, for sure.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
And then obviously I recovered from that, and then my
last surgery was my gender assignment surgery, which I did.
You know, honestly, I was like losing hope with that.
Oh girl, you were supposed to pay.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
For that, yeah, I was. Yeah, I was going to
tell you.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I sent me a check I did.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I told her I was gonna, but we stopped talking.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yeah I was.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I told her, I said, I'm going to help you
all pay for it. Yeah, and then we stopped talking
and didn't happen. But then how did that go about?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Like you so.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Look my face, I got it paid. Don't attack me, people,
but I got it paid to the state, my face.
I did. How bad I did? Because during pandemic, I
was like I had qualified for like medical and all that,
oh okay, and so they were doing like not they weren't.
They were renewing everybody for like three years. So like
I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna I'm
getting it, Like I'm not gonna, you know, make it
(09:47):
a big deal.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
So I ended up getting that this surgery. I did
do it through my insurance, with my own insurance. I
ended up paying nine thousand out of pocket, which isn't
bad because I think the total cost was like one
hundred and eighty thousand. Oh wow, States and the States
is ridiculous, like and that's why I think people don't
do it or they go to like overseas to do it,
you know.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Okay, Yeah, you told me you wanted to go to Bangkok. Yeah, yeah,
And that was a thing. It was a Bangkok, Thailand whatever.
I just like saying bankok but okay, yeah, so that.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Was a whole. It was like ten grand Yeah, it
was like ten.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I was like, okay, I got you. Let's backtrack a
tiny bit, because when did you I've always wondered because
I really do feel and some people may disagree with me,
but I really do feel that people are born gay too.
There's some people that feel that they become gay or
(10:42):
maybe they get curious and then they want to try
different or the same sex whatever. But I do really
feel and I've had these conversations with Gerald remembers all
he told me he knew when he was a little boy,
like he was four six years old, and he's like,
I had a crush on a boy.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
And I have had these conversations and I really do
feel that when when did you feel?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Or how?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
How give me your experience? Because I think it's did
you ever feel trapped?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Body?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Okay, yeah, trapped for sure? And I always I grew
up with sisters, right, but I have cousins and everything,
like male cousins and everything. But my I always wanted to,
like dress into their stuff, which, mind you, I think
every little boys regardless does that right, don't put on
their mom's heels to do that, right. But I just
like I felt like more like Podosa, I guess, like
(11:26):
more like powerful like and I don't know, it was
just something in me, but it was something that I
felt like I had to hide, like I didn't want
no one knowing that or especially be Yeah, well not
just not just that you grow up like realistically, you
grew up with you, you know, hearing your parents say like
a mariicon and stuff like that, so you always have
that already, Like I can't be that. You know, you
(11:48):
you You're going to be like a disgrace, right, So
even just like I remember my mom, like we used
to like we used to take care of kids and everything,
and I would always want to play house and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm the on' this Like it was
just like a horrible game to play as kids. I
don't know why we kids want to grow up so fast,
right and play house? But yeah, I just always wanted that,
(12:09):
Like I always wanted to feel like I was a girl,
even like when I was growing up like maybe twelve thirteen,
I ended up losing a Virginia at thirteen, very very young,
but I just wanted I wanted to see what it was,
you know. And but even then, like I would feel
like I don't feel manly enough, and I just always
I always wanted someone like above me to like hold me,
(12:30):
take care of me. But yeah, ever since I was little.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I howld were you when you first felt that.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Like twelve or thirteen, okay, okay, when you.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Were like, oh I felt more, Yeah, like you wanted
to be held, you want to be protected, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Yeah, And it was the thing that I went through.
Like I kind of don't like when people say, like,
oh they're gay because they were like molested or there
were this. I mean, that could be a case, you know,
but with you, it it wasn't. It wasn't that at all.
I had a really good childhood and everything. But yeah,
I always I always felt for sure, I always felt gay,
right I would, because I didn't know what like being
trans was or anything like that. You know, it was
very very small town. But yeah, I just I always knew.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, and when did you realize that you wanted to be?
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Like so with third so I want to say I
started doing hair when I was like seventeen, right, and
then I think like at nineteen twenty, I started wearing
like makeup, and then I kind of started just wearing
like women's jeans and then just stuff like that. Didn't
really know what it was, but there was some There
was like one gay club out there was called like
out and About. It was literally like forty five fifty
(13:33):
minutes away from where we lived, and we would go
there once in a while and they would do like
drag shows. That's like the only thing I would see
like that, you know. So I'm like, oh my god,
that's so cool, right.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And and you felt at home there.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I felt at home, yeah, But I also you knew
you once you go home. That was like done right,
you had to just you know. And but I think
I always knew certain stuff, but not I didn't know enough, right.
And then I think when I moved Tire, I ended
up meeting people. I met, you know, Jia. I ended
(14:05):
up meeting her, and then I was like, Okay, she's
really happy, like with her life and everything. And I
remember someone had referred me to like black market hormones,
and I started I did that and for like six
months which was like the worst thing I could ever do.
I think I ended up like in the er twice,
like I was literally felt like I was obviously I
think I was putting too much in. You don't you
(14:26):
don't know the proper dosage, you don't know what to
shoot up right, and you the problem is you see
all these people that have transition and they have these
nice curve bodies, they have this, and they give like
this false hope that you transition, you're going to look
like this. You don't. Yeah, So then that's when I
think I started going to like this the LGBT Center.
And then that's when I properly was like, Okay, this
(14:48):
is who I am. And I remember going to like
therapy and counseling there and really just finding myself.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So there is the LGBT Central Center, Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, because I mean, I mean I definitely I don't
know if you want to tell them, but yeah, like
not to go through the black market, because don't it
is so scary.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
You do not don't get butt shots, don't do none
of that, like honestly, like take your time and transitioning.
There's a lot of people that I looked up too
that I was just like, oh my gosh, there looks
so good in this. And then they would say, oh,
it's the hormones, it's this, it's this. No, it's not
their liars because now they all have come out with
videos like and these are like YouTubers like oh wow,
(15:30):
and I don't want to say their names.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I can stand no no more.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
But like I I was given that false like oh
my gosh, and I know I got on black market
hormones because of these people sometimes, you know, and now
they all came out like oh my silicon butt injections,
this and that, like don't do that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Now, start getting infection.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Infection that's spreading some of them. You can lose your leg,
like I had a friend that almost died literally, you know, scar, Yeah,
don't do that.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
And in this at the center here that you're talking about,
they they help finance that stuff a nonprofit.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yes it's nonprofit. It's here in Hollywood. And they are
the ones that refer you to be honest, like to
even doctors that will help you get like life will
bbl like all that stuff, you know, like most of
the stuff is covered. You know, I didn't know there's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Of stuff being informed you guys.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, and researching I was able to you know, change
my name everything like that through help, through the resources,
you know, birth certificate everything.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
So it's safe to say for sure when you moved
here in twenty fourteen was when you really just stepped
into Mia completely. Yes, yeah, right because okay, because when
I met you, your name was different. But when you
came here, it's like when I feel like you flourished,
yeah in every way, like fast, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I mean it felt fast. Now it feels fast, but
like I did. Take Look, this is my thing now
with people that are transitioning. Now again, now, the people
that are transitioning, I think people some of them are
seeing it as a trend, which is like sucks because
then then there's the people that are de transitioning because
they again I think were fed this like oh my gosh,
(17:05):
I'm gonna look fish. I'm gonna look you know fish
meaning like girl, you know, like very very girl, Like
I'm gonna look this, I'm gonna look that. So there
are people are transitioning really really fast and then they're like,
oh shit, that's not who I am. Let me do transition,
and it's giving us a bad rep because they're like, oh,
it is a mental illness, it is a sickness, it's
this you know. Yeah, and a lot of these people.
(17:26):
So look, when I first transitioned, I remember, like the
restroom issue is a huge thing, right, I remember, like, Okay,
I started wearing makeup, letting my hair grow out. I
still would not go into the women's restroom. I if
it was like a family restroom, I would go in there.
And if I really had to go, I would just
go into the men's restroom one because I needed everyone
(17:47):
to feel safe around me, right, Yeah. And nowadays you
see these people and I'm not coming for anyone, but
it's just it's a scary world. It's I say, for
the safety of them as well. Yeah, Like if you
can use a public family restore, do that, because there's
people that are transitioning, like all of a sudden day
one I'm trans Then they go into a female restroom
and like, you just don't know who you're making uncomfortable
(18:09):
or not, just that the uncomfortable position you're putting yourself in.
There's crazy people out there that will kill you.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, And that's and that's what I was going to
ask you, because I remember when I met you. You
you had your makeup, your hair was shorter, so it's
like and I always wondered, and this is I mean,
this is the first time I ask you, but did
you ever feel scared to go into the men's restrooms?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
That at the airport at Lax one time was like
one of my worst time worst encounters. So I was
at Lax literally going back home for I think the holidays,
and my hair was still kind of short and everything
full makeup at the airport like literally like over dramatic,
and I had to like go restrooms so bad, and
(18:51):
I was like, you know what, funck, I'm just going
to run to the men's restroom. Literally, security comes after me,
like banging in the door. You're in the wrong restroom,
You're in the wrong restroom. They like escorted me, and
I was like, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. Literally
I think my d was still my old name. Everything
showed them and they're like they didn't even know what
to do about it, like and I was like, I'm
gonna miss my flight. Luckily, they just like I didn't
(19:12):
help me there for like five minutes, like you know,
just be careful. Luckily, the guy was really nice, but
obviously they were like alerted at first, someone told them, like,
you're in the wrong freaking restroom, right, But if I
would have gone too the women's restroom, what would have happened?
What I had gotten arrested?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
See, you know, and I remember like panicing, like, oh
my gosh, they're making this big old freaking scene.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Like and you probably felt embar embarrassed, embarrassed, and did
other dudes ever look at you like guys, yeah, and
we're kind of like.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
So, I mean I would never go like pee like
on a star or that, I would go into it.
I would go into not not the yarals. I would
go into like an actual star, you know. But yeah,
it was it was scary and so most of the time,
like at that time though, I would go party in
weehole a lot, so it wasn't like I was going
to like straight places to go party. So we hold you.
It's very going to wherever restroom you.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Right, okay, but still like at the airport and things
like that, like I have. It's it's a whole thing,
and it's like conversations we've had off of camera in
regards to to.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
It, like now now you're fine. Now you got to
the women's restroom and you're totally fine.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
But when you're transitioning, it's just I guess, yes, the
safest thing is to find a family restaurant somewhere.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Where it is. And I see people arguing all the time,
like I'm a woman, and I'm like, you're not, Like
you're not yet. You need to stop. You need to relax,
and you need to understand how others feel too, Like
other people have their children in there, like imagine like.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, I want to know your perspective on that, Like
what do you visit?
Speaker 3 (20:38):
People get mad when I'm like, I'm a little trumpy
when it comes to stuff like this, Okay, but because
I feel like in that case, I back then, I
was very much more vocal like, oh my gosh, rights,
our rights, our rights. Yes, I do stand for our
rights one hundred percent, but I also stand for the
safety of others, you know, Like I like I said,
(20:58):
I feel like if you're like day one of your
transition and you don't not that it's because see this
is the kid. The scary part of saying stuff like
this when you say, oh, you don't look passable, you
shouldn't go in there. No, I'm not coming for you.
It's just what I'm saying is that people are still
going to look at you as a man. As it is,
people still look at me as a man. I don't
have an issue with it, no one, because I know
I don't look like one, you know, but and I
(21:20):
know the hard work I put into it. And the
thing is that people now they want to transition in
the second day they are a woman, and you can't.
You have to think about your safety and the risk
you're putting others in as well.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Okay, you know, okay, So so for you, in your opinion,
do you feel that someone that's barely starting their transition
that still look a little bit more male than female,
but they're wearing makeup but don't have their parts, like
having transitioned completely, should still go into like if it's
a male into the male's rest into a man's restaurant.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
It's it's just it's hard. That's why it's hard to
pick and choose. It's super hard to pick and choose
because I'm like, I don't want to say that and
then them get like murder in there, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Right, That's what I worry about.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Because if there's that's why I'm saying, like, if you
can find a family restroom, try to do that for
your own safety, because then you just never know. There's
weirdos out there, there's people like and and and then
again people use this whole thing like oh, that's why,
like rape happens because people are dressing up as women
and going into that doesn't happen. That happens between families unfortunately, right,
(22:24):
But like, yeah, I always tell people, if you can
find a family restroom, do it for your own safety.
You know, until you feel you look more presentable and
or you're somewhere that it's safe, you know, like just
look around or ask someone, just ask, like you have
a family restroom, Like yeah, it's just now from the
experience that I've seen in the faces that I've gotten,
(22:44):
that's why I tell people that.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
You've you've I've experienced the experienced, you know, and yeah,
it's hard.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
It's just you know what I feel. I feel bad
saying this, but I feel like we have put in
the work, and there's people like again I'm saying, they
transition all of a sudden, they want all this respect.
I've actually put in the work. We put in the
work to consider ourselves trans women, you know, and say
(23:12):
like I've done my part.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
You know, because you feel now more than ever that
there are people that are giving trans a bad names, yes,
like not really going through the entire process.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yeah, and they feel so entitled. And also the people
that are getting recognized that are becoming the face of
the community, you know, and that's bad for them to
be the face because that's not who we are, that's
not who we represent, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah, And that's one thing that I like about you
is that you've been very open about your entire process
and your beliefs are are very different, I feel in
a good way though, you know, you're very honest. Yeah,
and I think that can also that's that's going to
give the community more longevity and more respect if there
(23:59):
are people that really like this, this is my true identity,
and I take it seriously and I'm not only just
like fighting for my rights, but like you said, for
everyone's safety and because at the end of the day,
it's your choice, and it's like it still makes other
people uncomfortable, so you're also thinking about them or children
that you know, I always say, speak to your kids,
be honest about what's going on in the world about
(24:20):
gay and the whole community.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Everything starts at home. Everything starts at home. Like you
see these some of these kids, like the way they speak,
I'm like, that's because of their parents, you know. Like
it's like kids like it can go anywhay, Like when
kids wear like gain attire clothing like what they have
at home. You know what I mean. You teach your
kids love and respect at home, and that goes a
long way. Yeah, right, And yeah, you have to like
(24:44):
when people say, oh, I don't like kids seeing two
boys kissing or two girls. Teach your kids about love.
That's all it is, you know. And like I said,
all that starts at home. Yeah, and you have to
be open with.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Your kids about it because if not, they're going to
see it, especially now with social media. I feel like
I'd rather my kids come to me and say, hey,
what's Let me explain it to you. Let me show
you how children are born or how they're made. And
and these are people's choices and this is what it is.
And as my personal opinion.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
If your kids want to express themselves, let them express themselves.
You know, Like when I things I don't like seeing
obviously is like I remember one time I was like, oh,
this is like five years ago and Charlotte Ruis was
still open. This little boy was like, oh you could
arrest those like these shoes, like and he was innocent,
like just when the dad pulled them up, like I'm like,
that's so fucked up. But I was like, you know what,
(25:33):
my kid now, my kid, I'm not a parent. And
that's one thing I sucks when I try to tell
people something because I like, well, you're not a parent.
I know I'm not, but like I'm just saying, teachers,
it's about love, yeah, and just don't be you know,
it's maybe it's a face. He just wanted to try
that shoe on, that it.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Happened, and saying stuff like that, and public especially you know,
because liquor even like those are words of they haunt you.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
They haunt you. Yeah, exactly, even if what if he
is the little boy is.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
And now he's growing up thinking like damn, I can
never be because my dad just traumatized me in at
the mall.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
You know, yeah, how did your dad take it?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
You know? I remember like telling my parents I was
I started up, I was by and they're like whatever, right,
there's still.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Hope, you know.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And then and then I came out as gay, and
then I don't think they really said much after that.
And then I remember when I started transitioning. I told
my mom first I was already living here, and you know,
my mom was like yes and this and this and that,
you know. And at that point, I think I had
already built them up to like not care about certain
stuff because I felt like I was a black sheep
in my family, that I was very different. I'm very outspoken,
(26:46):
and I was I was thinking I was building her
up for that. And then I remember at one point
when I was like telling her, like, you can't call
me that anymore, like, and I stopped talking to her
for a moment, right, It was like a heart a month,
and I just I couldn't give in.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I could.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I had to like not teach her lesson, but tell
her like, I love you, but this is who I
am now, right. So then I remember having I told her,
you need to tell my dad because I didn't want
to say it. He was very very like I used
to go hunting with him, like I used to do
a lot of like very much, yes, very very much,
he's that, you know. And I remember going back.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
I can't even imagine you're asked hunting girl.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I used to hunt. I used to choose fish. Oh wow,
I'm very handy. Like when it comes to like building stuff, yeah,
I used to. Yeah, my friends always like, okay, you
can have me building something.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
And she's a badass baker, you guys make she makes
this bomb ass banana some freaking oh please.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
So it's the bed. It's so moist banana chocolate chip,
banana chocolate chip.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I got it out of this like old ass book
that I found. It's a good will literally really yes.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
It was literally a socious book.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Yeah, so good. So then okay, So I was going
to go back home to my cousins kin Signetta, which
is my dad's brother's daughters Skins Signetta, right, and I
still had no boobs thing yet, but I was already
like wearing long hair and everything. And then I remember
like telling my mom like did you tell my dad?
I's like yeah, I told him. I told him, don't
you know, it's fine, it's fine. I remember getting ready
(28:11):
going to this we're getting we're going there, and my
sister in her car. I remember just like I started bawling.
The only thing I was ever scared of my dad
is him feeling some type of way of my family
saying something to him about me, like making him feel
less up or making him feel like he failed as
a parent. That was what I was scared. I'm the baby,
(28:32):
I'm the only boy. It was the only boy. It
was the only boy. Yeah, Like that was his baby, right,
And I know his in his wallet he still has
a picture of me like when I was a little boy,
Like he always has that picture, like he still has
it to this day. But I remember that was like
my biggest fear was just like what my if my
family would have said something to him.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, and I I remember to cause him pain because
of yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Right, So I remember like I was hyper ventilated like
a I just like, no, you're fine, You're fine, You're fine.
I just come, just come. And I remember just like
walking because I think I landed the day before and
I didn't go see them. And I saw my mom
only in the morning because I think I curled her
hair for the So yeah, I hadn't seen my dad
though at all. And this he really hadn't seen much.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
You know, seeing like you're you as a woman.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yes, And I remember I wore a black dress and
uh yeah, it was I ket walking in though. I
was like, oh my gosh, okay, everyone was looking everyone, everyone, everyone,
all my dad's family was there, Washington, Washington. Yeah. And
I started saying hi to some people that were kind
of that. I whatever skipped a lot of my family
(29:41):
and then I got to my more. My parents were
and I said, I said hi, and like nothing.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
He was fine.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
He was fine, and.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
He's always because does he know you you did compla.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Not the last surgery. The last surgery. My mom knows
about it. My family knows about it, but I never
told him. I just think that's like a weird conversation
to him. So I'm like, you know, maybe if he
still feels like some thing, let him feel that, you know, like, yeah,
let me not take everything away from him, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
No, I get that because I mean it must be
hard for parents, you know, because for them it's like
they have especially because you were the only boy, had
these dreams and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
You guys went hunting and all this.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
But I mean, it's beautiful to see that your parents,
your parents love you enough to say I just want
her to be happy. Yeah, I remember, like, and now
your mom calls you by me?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Oh yeah yeah yeah only yeah, and my fad some
of my cousins, they'll try to call me my old
name and they'll be like, oh, that's all I've known you.
I'm like, if my mom has to call me my
new name, so you if you don't, I'm done with you.
Like I am at that cut off. I'm cutting off
people because you expect me. Yes, why why should you
get that chance to call me that when I don't
(30:47):
even let my mom call me that? You know?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
That makes sense? Absolutely? And what's your dad call you?
Speaker 3 (30:53):
So? No, no, no, no, so they call me my mom calls.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
You by Mia.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
But like one time I got there, I like today
from the airport like all glam so ever since then
my dads like, oh yeah, so I'm like, okay, whatever,
so he.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Calls you, yeah, does he call you mihw or anything
like that.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
I don't like You'll just be like okay, I mean.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's whatever better than yeah my old name.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Yeah, I'm like that. I know. Everyone's like in Washington
everything that you go back there, you're fine.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
You don't like a little local celebrity to them. No,
it's honestly, I love when I go out there just
seeing like old people that I used to like associate
myself like friends back then. It's fun, you know. But yeah,
like people still trip out and yeah, you know, but.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Do you feel like it's getting better?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
I feel like it is. Like I saw they had
a Pride recently, like a Pride festival, like two weeks ago,
and I mean, like like any other Pride festival, there's
people outside protesting of course, you know, but like it's
it's come a long way.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, I definitely feel like it's more accepted, I guess now,
and I think that that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
The thing is that when people when I say Washington,
everyone assumes Seattle. I'm not from Seattle. Seattle is three
hours up north from US. We are in the lower part,
so we're like in all the farm area, which is
very conservative. That's the conservative part, the part that makes
Washington a Democrat state. Seattle, which is a tiny corner
but it's obviously overpopulated. That's the only thing. The rest
(32:28):
of it is so conservative. We're also borderline to Idaho,
you know. Yeah, so it's all farm people. You know,
so that's very close minded, you know, but they come along.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Way, but it's they're coming a long way. And I'm
glad that you probably say that's where I'm from.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
That's I never deny where I'm from. I always say, like,
I'm from Washington, small little town, grand View, and born
and raised around there. So I love.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
That you have to be proud of where you come from.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You know what I mean, what do you feel is
that it has been the most difficult part of your transition,
is there or has it just been like do you
finally feel like, oh I'm whole.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I'm mean, I feel whole.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I feel one hundred percent whole. But one thing I
always taught you don't need the surch you don't need
the last surgery like to feel whole. Right for me,
I did, ok, But then after this surgery I did
have to be like, Okay, now I have to fully
accept myself because even though that surgery was done, you know,
(33:26):
you're still I been anesthesia kind of whereas in and
out of your body where you're kind of like, oh,
like you start questioning certain stuff, right, yeah, But now
I was like, I think, like two months ago, I
was like, you know, I really do have to feel
one hundred percent myself and I did. I did, like
some soul searching. I was like, okay this, I don't
need a man. I don't need I just needed to
feel whole myself. And once I accepted that, I was like, Okay,
(33:49):
I feel good.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
You feel fine? Yeah, because you want to get married right, yeah?
I do.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah, I do want to not right now, I'm going
to have a hot girl summer but.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Nice yes, hot girl summer summer.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah, the cat in full effect. But you know, like
I would love that. I would love that. You know,
do you.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Feel now that you're completely transitioned, would you still tell
someone oh I'm trans or like the guy that you meet.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yes, but not right there. I also, this is the
thing with me and people. I don't go around like
say I'm at a bar and you're like, oh so,
so I don't say that, cahi ama, I'm trans Okay,
never do that one. You never know. It is safety.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You're safety again. Yes, never know how people are.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yes, but always do tell. If anything, I'm not going
to go home and hook up with this guy, I
will get their number. I'll be like, oh, let's just
change numbers or I'll get my social media or something
like that. Sometimes I'm very like about social media because
I'm like, where if they go far back? I have
archived so much stuff now. But because again I don't
know people haunting me with old pictures or stuff like that,
(34:52):
you know, But I will tell them if I if
I see the conversations going somewhere with them, like it's
not just a dumb converce. I'm like, hey, just so
you know I am you know, I'm transgender thissiness, and
that explain, you know, if they don't know it. Sometimes
it's like, oh, I'm cool with that. You want to
fuck Then I'm like, okay, I'm done with this conversation too,
you know now I'm done with that conversation. Yeah. Yeah,
(35:15):
but yeah. I always you have to tell people. You
have to be one hundred percent no no, And I
hear these stories and I don't. I don't want to
say that's why some people people get killed, but that
is that's one of the reasons. Or some people also
can't stand that they knew that they slept with someone
that's trans, so they end up killing them. But always
disclose that and always make sure that people know who
(35:36):
you're with. I told all my friends, like, hey, I've
been with this person or this person's coming over, Like
I'll send pictures some of what they look like or whatever,
just in case, just in case my location. I share
it with like thirty people. Yeah, you know, like you.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Have to safeties first, and I think always being honest
and upfront so that you don't mislead anybody in all
the best space, so that you're safe and they're safe
and they have at least a.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Chance and the opportunity to say yes or no. Exactly.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Okay, So before we go, I do want to ask
because on your social media, what I love too is
that you're you come across as a very confident woman,
and I think that you can be of a you know,
an inspiration to people in the community. Where do you
think that that confidence comes from. Has it always been there?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Is it something? Is it a front? Is it something now.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
That you really feel because you you're like, this is
why I love that. But I mean, I've been honest
about how I used to portray myself and how I
thought I was confident, but it wasn't really confident.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
It was I have to say that about you too, though, Yeah,
it was it was it wasn't. I feel like I've
had to portray that, Like I had to portray that
I was very confident, and I or my friends always
telling me like, you're so strong, you're so there's what
you know, you shouldn't have an issue, and it would
make me cry because I would just feel like you
guys fucking think that, but I'm not. I'm not like
(37:00):
I's it's a front. It's something that so I don't
feel torn down, I don't feel like you can get
to me. Yeah, because I'll give you the satisy. Yes, yes,
So what happened? I want to say, Like twenty sixteen,
I remember I had posted like that whole picture with
like the slurs like all over my body, and then
Kylie Jenner had reposted it, right, and that was the
beginning of like the hate. I feel like, the like
(37:24):
go kill yourself, go do this, go do that. And
that's where I feel like I had to become even
more confident, more stronger and act like it didn't hurt me,
but it did so for I do feel up until
like twenty twenty is when I started kind of being
more in tune of my feelings. And then I did
stop posting a lot. I I used to post like
(37:45):
three four times a week, and now it's like rare
when I like, I'll post like once every two three weeks.
You know, I do post on my story a lot,
but I I am scared of what people say sometimes
and I am stronger, but I am more in tune
my things. I know I have to you have to
read those comments. Sometimes you have to read the hate, right.
But I now I know they can't bring me down.
(38:06):
But before it was all up front, it was all like,
that's what I have to be. I have to show
people I'm a strong bitch. You can't get to me.
You can tell me off, you can say whatever you want.
But I'm a strong bitch. But I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, no, I completely agree with that because.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
It can with you. You know, you went through so
much hate the first I.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Really I've experienced bullying since I was little about my weight,
and then I came into this world, in this industry,
and I just felt like I always felt beautiful, and
I felt like I never knew that I was big.
I only knew that I was fat because people would
tell me, Oh, you're so fat, you come out on
TV you shouldn't like so many things, and then I
(38:46):
would be like, oh my god, I guess I am,
but I felt so it was just thinking of like
I'm not gonna let you.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Guys get to me.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
I'm strong and I know what I am inside my
heart and now like it's it's this thing of like
I know who I am in my core, so you
know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
But it was it was hard.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Okay, now that you've lost weight, you went on this
like healthy journey right like you. I'm sure you do
feel though sometimes like oh now there's things that I
don't like. It's it's you're never gonna win that though,
because I remember I told you last time to like
I don't remember you being that big.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I see pictures and I'm like, what you're like throwing.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Your photoshop them right now? Like but you know you just.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Said, let's you guysn't call me fat all day long?
Can you call me ugly?
Speaker 3 (39:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
No, you can't, No you can't you know and.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
No, even like you know what's crazy. I feel like
I used to get hit on more though back then
I feel like than I do.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Now, maybe because I have a man, but I was
in some ways more physically confident is bigger than now
that I'm like, I walked in like insecurities now because
now it's like I now I can I feel confident
with wearing sleeveless shirts, but then like my loose skin
because of my arms.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Just saying I was like resting up for this, I
was like, no, like I need to have some kind
of leave that, you know, and surgery can't fix it
all you guys, it's it's you also have to fix
your head first, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
YEA love who you are inside, and it makes you
radiate different. Too many people focus on wanting to fix themselves,
like on the exterior and don't take care of this
and this, and then it's just it's just.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Then they have body for the rest of our life exactly.
And so it's honestly, it does irritate me because obviously,
I really I am a common person. I go on
people like I grow even with you when you post
something I like, I've seen you pictures like oh I
don't like this, you know, you know, but I'm very like.
But I also because I start thinking about what everyone
says and I'm just like, oh my gosh, but I
(40:44):
hate them. People are like Oh, you have money, you
can go do this, you said, or she's probably lying,
she did all this, this this, No, it's just it's
once you once you got like into this journey and
everything and you start loving yourself, it's very different and you're.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yes, truly accepting who you are and being okay with
expressing things and mistakes, past mistakes or whatever. Like that's
when you know, like I've reached the point of really
loving who I am and not having to do and
say and act certain ways to make other people happy.
It's like I'm really soul searching and seeking to be
(41:21):
the best version of myself that even if I do
have a little bit of loose kin like I don't know,
it's like I'm.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
All for I'm off here here and I'm all for surgery.
I also work for a surgery center. Outside of people,
go for it, do it if you can do it,
but do it for yourself. One don't ever do it
for a man, because if the regardless you know what
I mean, do it for yourself. It's if it's going
to make you feel better, but make sure you're you're
you're okay here, because that is the most important thing ever,
(41:49):
you know, So.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
So yeah, share your socials with people so that they
can follow you.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
And my Instagram is I am me a podcast my
only fans, I'm just okkay No, my TikTok is I
am Mia Vargas eight one A, So I am right,
I am I A. Yeah, I am Mia Vargas and
then just the TikTok one is with eight one A.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Okay, oh nice?
Speaker 1 (42:13):
All right, well, Mia, thank you so much for being
on the podcast, for being such an open book. I
know that this will help a lot of people that
I feel like maybe haven't even come out yet and
are living with this, and maybe they watched this and
listen to our conversation and they're able to just be
themselves step into being who they really are meant to be,
(42:34):
which is my whole thing with this podcast from like,
I just want to have conversations with real people, and
you're definitely someone that I've had in my life for
a long time and I really love and appreciate.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
So thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
And before we go, I do want to tell you
here in front of everyone, but I'm gonna go ahead
and keep my word and I'm gonna write you a check, bitch,
because I did tell you, So I'm gonna be the
Madrina of that Kuci.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Thank you did, because I did.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Tell you that I remember exactly where I was at. Yes,
oh my god, we were drunk and I remember we
were in the restaurant. That's so funny that you say that,
because I went back to that moment. I was like,
I remember and I've always remembered now that you brought
it up. So I'm a woman on my words. So
I will write you a check for your retraina.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
I appreciate that. I love bitch.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I will
catch you on the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill
see you. This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike
Wa podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at mike wa
Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q
(43:47):
U y s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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