May 8, 2023 • 24 mins
Chiquis welcomes her boyfriend Emilio back to the show for part one of a very intimate conversation about the state of their relationship. They talk about the benefits and challenges of living together, what his family thought about the move and how their trust for each other has grown over the last couple of years. They also discuss what they've learned from previous relationships and how Emilio feels about Chiquis kissing other women.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Living with someone before getting married is so much better.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah. I think we need to fully understand who the
person is before making such a big decision in our life.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
There are times when I want to kiss a girl.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It doesn't bother me. I see human beings. Love is love,
and if you've dated some girl before, I totally accept that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I think we're just practicing and letting things be right.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
When it comes to a kid, I think it's also
growing on you. I think it's growing on you.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I have had a little baby fever lately. Yeah, for sure.
Hello everyone, and welcome back to your favorite podcast, Cheeky's
in Chill. Today I'm joined by one of my favorite
people in the entire world, my boyfriend Emilio, and we're
going to get really personal today. We're going to talk
(00:51):
about how our relationship has evolved, and we're also going
to address a topic that's been brought up quite a bit.
So if you want to hear more, stay tuned. This
is cheek and Chill. Sitting here with me right now
is my love, Emilio Sanchez. He's a super talented photographer
(01:12):
based in la who has worked with everyone from Becky
g to the late Kobe Bryant and for those of
you who don't know, he's also photographed me a bunch
of times, including my book cover Unstoppable and also for
my album Avena. Hi, my love, how are you Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I'm doing great.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I wish you guys could see him. He looks so
nervous right now.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
But you've been on here before, you've been on here.
This is it's me.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah, and I love talking to you, so yeah, he.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Does you, guys. That's one thing I can tell you.
Emilio is very good at communication. And yes, the first
time you were on we talked about our new relationship
and the seven year you know, age gap, and today
we're going to give listeners a little update on how
things have evolved and progressed. And I want you to
be completely honest and how you feel. This is like
an open space. No one's listening, it's just when I copy.
(02:02):
And we're also going to talk about how you feel
about me, you know, being fifteen twenty percent you know, lesbian,
because that's been a topic that a lot of people,
you know, have been wanting to know about me liking
women and how you feel about it. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Absolutely all right?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Okay, so before we get into it, I want to
give everyone a bit of context, you know, a little background,
not too much because we did an entire episode already
on it, but for those of you who haven't listened
to that episode, shame on you go listen to it.
We've been dating for about what two years and three months? Yes,
and yes we live together. A lot of people, I think,
have that question, how long have we been living together?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Babe? November of our first year.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, it's been no. Really, Okay, I don't remember it.
Kind of it happened fairly quickly, you guys, But I
don't know. It just kind of happened right Like. We
didn't really talk about it. I just like wanted him
to come over, and a lot I'm like, oh, what
do you mean you're not going to spend the night tonight?
And then I'd go to his place. I don't know.
How do you feel about it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I feel like we had our healthy space in the beginning,
and then it just the situations that came in our
lives brought a new opportunity and I feel like we
kind of got funneled into this new position in our
life and it led to us starting a new journey together,
and that's how I saw it.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Mm hmmm. I think we both were just on the
same page. We both had been in pretty emotionally heavy
relationships right without talking about about anyone. But I think
we were both very honest from the beginning, and he
was very open as to what he wanted, what he
didn't want, and so was I and it just happened. You, guys,
(03:49):
I'm telling you, like the day I met him, I
had taken my iud at, which is birth control. I
had told myself, you know what, I'm going to be celibate.
I'm not going to date, and if I date, I'm
not going to have sex. Like I just had this
whole idea in my mind. And I'm telling you, the
universe and God had something different because that day when
we made when because I had already met him before
a few months before, eight nine months before, but that
(04:10):
March of twenty twenty one, I just, I don't know,
there was just this click. I can't even explain it.
And ever since then, I can count the times that
we haven't been together, like we've been together and spent
more time together than we haven't, right in these past
two years.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, but it's also like we enjoy it so much.
And I think that's also a reason why we moved
in so early, was because we love the feeling that
we've made each other feel. It's like, yeah, this is
where I want to be around.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Mm hmm. You gave me a lot of peace, for sure,
And I hadn't felt that in a long time, like
sleeping next to someone and just being at peace and
feeling safe. I hadn't felt that, I think ever, to
be honest. So when I felt that, it was just
like I got addicted to that feeling. Now I have
a question. I don't think i've ever asked you this.
What did your mom think about us moving in so quickly?
(04:59):
Or your grandma who we call Ama, she's like the
best by the.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Way, Well, a'ma oh, that's the one that was like,
don't get rid of your spot. Don't just move in
because if she kicks you out and then you're not
gonna have anywhere to go. And I was like, all right, Alma.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Well, his Alma was a little hesitant, a little worried
about us dating because of everything that she had heard
and seen on TV. You know, like for a long time,
all these programs, these Spanish programs just didn't really know me,
and I think perceived me in a certain way or
made me put me in a different light. So when
I met her, like her and I are like best friends.
We love each other now so much. But I think
(05:36):
she was worried for him, which is probably why she
said that, which makes sense. And by the way, he
still has his place. He still has a place in downtown,
he works out of there, and you know, but yeah,
we lived together full time. That's just what it is, guys.
And I'm fine with that because I'm sure a lot
of people are like, Okay, why not get married first
and then live together? I think living together personally, this
is my personal opinion. Living with someone before getting married
(05:59):
is so much much better, I think, right.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, I think we need to fully understand who the
person is before making such a big decision in your life,
and it gives us the space and time to really
get to know each other and see if it can
work and how it can work and what we need
to do to make it work.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah. I don't regret it at all. If anything, I
think it's been pretty awesome. And of course it was
a little not uncomfortable. What's the right word. It was
just we had to get adjusted, you know what I mean.
Like there's certain ways that I want things, and I'm
very anal, very particular, but he is a type of
partner that wants to learn, and so do I. So
(06:40):
it's like, Okay, if I tell him, hey, I don't
like this or can you do this, he'll do it.
Like we're both pretty good with that, right, Like if
there's something like you've told me. I'm not trying to
speak for you, but like you've told me, like if
I tell you I don't like something, like, I'm pretty
good with fixing it.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yes, you're very yes, And that was something that surprised
me that you were very response to whatever I told you.
And it might not sit with you well or as
easy in the beginning when you first hear it, but
then once you're able to digest it on your own,
then you show me pretty quickly, you know, with the
(07:14):
weeks after that, after I tell you, I see changers,
I see improvements. I see the effort, and that's, to me,
is the biggest thing.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Well, thanks, I try, you know, I'm trying. I really am,
because I could be I don't think I'm controlling, right,
It's not that. It's more of like I could be
a little said in my ways sort of things in
certain things. Yes, I admit to that, and he's taught
me and through therapy as well, that a relationship is
(07:43):
all about compromising and even if the things feel uncomfortable
to you, it'll feel better together, if that makes sense,
because I guess in a way I've been a little
bit of a of a fine this isn't working. I'm
by you know, and that come from what I saw
growing up. It's kind of like okay, next, you know,
(08:04):
and that's not okay. A relationship is work. It's work
every single day. It's you choosing that person and also
being willing to see, hey, I have things I need
to work on. I have things that I have to
be better at, you know, just communication. You've lived with
someone else before, right, babe?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Tell our people, Yes, it wasn't as permanent as this.
This is like the first time where it's like this
is our living situation and before it was more temporary.
So but having another person in your space, in your home,
it does change things.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
And what are what do you feel in your opinion,
like are the challenges of living together like you and I.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I think it's just having to be open about how
someone else likes things and figuring out what those things are,
what's important, what you like, how you like things done,
and also expressing what I like and how I like
things done as well, and just talking about those things.
It's something that you can't really plan out. We can't
(09:05):
be like this is the plan for us to make
this work. It's something that you have to experience and
things are going to come up, Emotions are going to
come up, and it's like we have to find out
why those motions come up and what I can do
on my end help. Again, it's compromising and working with
each other to make those things work. And I feel
like we do a pretty good job at that.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, I was going to tell you that because I
don't really have to tell him, hey, can you do this?
It's very very rare. I cook, and he washes the dishes,
he loves to vacuum, he makes the bed like it's
fairly I don't know. I don't want to say easy,
but it kind of has been where even if there's
something that bugs me, you know, like, for instance, he's
(09:46):
not a messy guy, but he kind of leaves like
his clothes just you know, on the other side of
the bed. He takes off his pants and his socks
and he just leaves it there. And like there are
times when I pick it up, and then are times
when I'm just like I'm just going to leave it there,
like I'm not you know, It's like I'm not gonna argue,
I'm not whatever. He's a brown as man. But I
got to pick and choose my battles. I'm not gonna
like cause a fight over something so like minimal. But
(10:10):
other than that, I mean.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, I'm really trying to think of like the things
that I don't like that you do around the house. Yeah,
And I honestly like I can't really think of anything.
Nothing comes on. I'm like, you're on it. You're on everything.
So it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh thanks man. Thanks. I mean I don't cook it.
Maybe I don't cook as often as you like, maybe
because I know that's one thing that Johnny wishes I
did like cook a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I just I love when you cook, Like when I
know you you cut your bandanna on and you go
in the kitchen and I'm like, okay, it's about to
go down.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, that's how they know. In the house I put
on I've been down a but I'm a clean I'm
get shit done. I want to talk a little bit,
just a tiny bit, because we have so many things
we got to talk about. But it's crazy to me,
you guys, Emilio's gonna be thirty one soon, and he's
(10:58):
very much over his age. I never thought, and I
had told myself from my previous relationship, I'm not going
to date anyone younger. I want a forty five year
old man who has been married and divorced and has kids.
And I had this whole other idea. I'm telling you,
God said, wait a minute, hold your horses. I'm sending
you this young guy who was very mature, very wise.
He's gonna teach you quite a bit and it's gonna
(11:19):
put your ass in your place. And it's a medio.
But you guys, he was kind of like a low
key fuck boy before me. Yes or no? Sure, yes, yes,
And I can't freaking believe it, you guys, Like when
he tells me some stories and how he was, I'm
just like, what, I can't even imagine it, you know.
(11:40):
But the beautiful thing about him is that he says
I was this way and I'm not proud of it.
I feel really bad. I heard a lot of girls,
and I appreciate that. I don't get jealous. If anything,
I'm like, that's very nice of him to say.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Fuck.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
If I couldn't go and apologize to these girls that
I hurt, I would, you know. But he also you
see it as as what babe, like, you explain it absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
That's something I tell myself a lot these days, is
I'm just I'm glad everything happened when it happened. I'm
grateful for the pain that I went through because it
wouldn't have made me who I am today. I hurt
a lot of people. I was hurt by people, and
it pushed me to a point where I was searching
for why am I unhappy? Still? Why am I unhappy
(12:23):
in every situation that I'm in? And I always went
and looked for this like magic pill that was just
going to make everything better. And I realized that what
I was looking for is I had to look within
myself inward, and I think I avoided that for so long.
Or I also didn't know the techniques on how to
do that. And when I met you, I had the
(12:46):
biggest drive to be like, I have a clean plate here.
What can I do to make sure that everything that
has happened before doesn't happen again? And that starts with myself,
my insecurities, my bad traits, that I have, any behavioral
patterns that follow me, and I just decided it was
(13:07):
time to stop running from those things and really dig
deep and you know change.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
And do you think it was because you were ready
as a man to have that in your life or
was it because you met me and you or was
it a little bit of both? Maybe? I don't know.
Do you think you would have been the same guy
now if it was another girl for instance?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, that question, I don't know. I feel like, again
I tell you this all the time, I feel like
we were really mad for each other. So that just
comes with that. But even in my twenties, even when
all the pain was happening in my heart, I always
knew what I wanted to be out. I know deep
down I'm a good person. I have good intentions. I
(13:48):
just didn't know how to express that with people. Then
when I met you, I was at a point where
I'm like I was so desperate for something new and
something to change, and then you also made me want
to Basically, I asked God to help me with the
problems that I had, and he's not going to just say, hey,
(14:11):
you're fixed. He's going to give you a situation where
you're tested and be like, Okay, you have insecurities. I'm
going to give you the woman that's going to make
all of those insecurities come out. And it's up to
you what to do with that, you know. And it
was our first year emotionally was really hard because I
was very uncomfortable with a lot of things because of
(14:33):
my career. Right just with everything you as a human being.
It could be career things, it can be day to
day things. It just opens up a door to be
able to work on yourselves. And Yeah, thankfully he brought
a woman into my life that I've been able to
go through that process with that's helped me a lot.
(14:55):
I know the work is on my end, but you
have supported me at my weakness. You you're there for
me and you have been there for me as well.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And this is I think we talked about this a
little bit before, but I have also had to work
on insecurities, you know, and people have asked me, how
do you feel about Emilio taking pictures of beautiful women?
And you know, they say all these things about photographers,
and I'm just like, I also am in a different
(15:24):
place in my life where I'm just like I know
who I am. But also you make me feel very
safe from the very beginning. You guys, I never asked
for his location. He gave it to me himself. We
have each other's locations, each other's passwords to our phones.
Like it was just very different, Like it wasn't I
had it was pulling teeth and because of it, like
it just I don't know, it's just different, I think
(15:44):
the first time, Yeah, like the first week I started dating,
I was in Waala, Lajara. Then you had to go
to where did you go with with Stilo?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Uh Costa Rica, Costa Rica.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
There was a bunch of girls in thongs, big booty
bitches on the boat. I told myself, like I have
to work through this, like I cannot be that toxic girlfriend.
I don't want to be that not. If anything, I
didn't want to like even pretend to be different with him.
I just didn't want to feel that those things anymore.
And sometimes I come up not gonna lie, but then
I'm like, you know what, no, Like I have to
(16:13):
be confident in who I am and in the man
that I have, And sometimes we torment our mind so
much with what could happen that we're not living and
enjoying the moment. And I used to do that so much,
like oh my gosh, well what is he doing again?
My past relationships very different. I didn't feel that piece
that I feel here, but I know that we've talked
(16:34):
about it, like things that have made you feel insecure
about my career, things that make me feel little insecure
about yours. But we communicate, and I think that is
the biggest difference in this relationship is that we're very
honest and we take care of each other's feelings.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I think yes. And also a big key to that
is that we don't judge each other, because when insecurity
has come up, it's so easy to be like, oh,
you're insecure, you're this, and shame that person, and we
don't do that from that place. We are here for
each other and be like, I know I can be like, hey,
(17:08):
this bars me, and I know that you'll listen to
me and hear me out on why and then also
help me in the process of getting me to process
that insecurity to where it's not a problem anymore, and
we work through it together. And that's I think that's
one of the biggest keys to the success in our relationship.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
For sure, and you're much better with that. To be honest,
there are times when you say things bother you and
I get upset, like initially, but then I'm like, no, wait,
I have to put myself in is sshoes. I have
to understand. I take a little longer to process things, guys.
But now I feel like I'm quicker and I'm a
little more open to it. At first, I was kind
of like, what the fuck. This is my job, this
is what I got to do. Now I'm like, wait,
this is a person that's important to me, and I
(17:49):
have to figure out how to make this work because
he makes me happy and it can't just be well,
this is my career, yes and no. So I have
worked through that with my therapist, and you have been
very paid and I appreciate that because again, I am
a little bit more stuck in my ways. But I'm
very proud of myself. I have gotten better, he said it.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
One thing that has helped a lot is we've been
microdosing together. We started microdosing together with psychedelics for how
long we've it's been what nine months now.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, it's been a little while and.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Now been a while, yeah, And I feel like it's
changed us as individuals and as a unit. We try
to stay on the same schedule with microdosing because it's
every what two to three days that we do it. Yeah,
And we pray together and stuff, and I think that
helps that we're on the same page, on the same frequency.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah. And something about that too. It's not just that
we're taking this pill and it's making us better. It's
it is the praying. It is setting our attentions. I
like to do it on the same schedule as you
show that. To me, it makes us feel more connected.
And if we set our intentions together and we pray
and we do our little ritual and give each other
a kiss, like, to me, that makes me feel like, hey,
(19:04):
my partner's here on this healing process with me. To me,
that's everything.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah. And just for people that don't know what psychedelics are,
they're basically mushrooms and I'm sure a lot of people
have heard that, Oh my god, you hallucinate. You see
things like get all. This is micro dosing. We take
very little and it's more of like medicinal purposes, healing
purposes that we do it. It's not to like go
out and party and get crazy. It's it's very different.
That's why how Emilio said, like we said our intentions,
(19:32):
and I always say, just make me the best version
of myself. Helped me become a better person all around,
a better partner, and for us to be connected, and
it's given us a lot of confidence. I feel like
in the relationship. I don't know, I just feel very
different since I've been doing it, and it's helped that
I've done it with him. But it's not like we're
out there doing drugs together, you guys, you know, it's
this is this is very different. So just I always say,
(19:53):
research it.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah. I think the biggest thing for micro dosing for
me has been that it makes me more present uring
a day, So it doesn't give me any room in
my head to overthink things, to have anxiety, to have depression,
because I'm so present and when you're present, I'm just
so you're grateful when you're in the present moment and
we get to enjoy each other.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, for sure. He believes in the power of Now.
He actually has it tattooed on his what is it
your wrist, your arm baper Yeah, yeah, And that's a book,
you guys, read it, The Power of Now. It's such
a good book. And the crazy thing is that we
had both read it obviously, way before we met each other.
And that's what it is, Like, I think we're we
both understand like the power of now, like living in
(20:35):
the present and how important that is. And that's what
causes I've talked about this a lot. What causes anxiety,
you guys, is worrying about something that hasn't happened, And
what causes depression is something that you're stuck in your past.
So that's the thing. I think that what makes our
relationship work so well, despite you know the seven age
you know, seven year gap, Yes, the seven year gap,
(20:57):
thank you sir. So I think despite all of that,
I think it's just the fact that like we're both
wanting to just be better individually and then together. Right yeah, okay, yeah,
that makes me happy. So another thing that we need
to talk about. I got a question I don't know
if I told you on Dear Cheeky's some girl. She
(21:18):
was really nice about it. She's like, girl, I saw
you on the Snow podcast and you were just flirting
with Snow and all this stuff. Don't you have a boyfriend?
Does he get mad? And all this stuff? And I've
gotten a lot of questions like that, and I was like,
wait a second, I'm going to bring a media on
because we need to talk about this. And again, I
have been so open with this man from the very beginning.
That's another choice something I had never done before. It's like,
(21:40):
hold up, I've been through some shit. I don't want
to go through it anymore. So something has to change
within myself and how I approach your relationship. So I
was very honest with the media from the beginning. Any
question he asked, I was like, yes, I'm always asking questions.
And he's not not that he's not open, but he's
just like, why are you asking about my ex? Girlfriend's
like what do you like? And he's right, we shouldn't
you go. It's not we should not open up that
(22:01):
kind of worms. But I'm just very nosy. But anyways,
I told him about me having a girlfriend. When I
was twenty three, I had a girlfriend. I'm like, there
are times when I want to kiss a girl. And
he was actually with me when I went to someone's podcast,
No her twitch was it her twitch bit Leslie DJ Leslie.
And we kissed and I had already kind of like
(22:24):
told him, hey, you know, so he knew what he
was walking into and he saw when we kissed and everything.
It wasn't like a tongue kiss. It was just like
a cute little pet. She kissed me, but I let her,
And how did you feel?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I thought it was cool. We were having fun. We
were there having a great time. Yeah, it doesn't bother
me like it. I see human beings and love is love.
And if you dated some of girl before, I totally
accept that. I don't sit here and worry like, oh
what if she comes and leaves me for a girl,
(22:58):
And it's the same thing as you coming to me
and tell me you're leaving me for a guy. It
makes no difference. It doesn't make any difference. You've been
very open about it, and it doesn't bother me at all.
I mean, if you came to me one day and
be like, hey, last night made out with this girl
and like that's I heard each other. I know you
(23:19):
wouldn't do that without talking to me about that first,
or be like, hey, this is the situation and I
think that's just part of our communication. I don't think
you would ever do anything to step out of line
like that to where it where it turns that situation
into a bad thing again. In a relationship, as long
as there's communication about anything and both people agree, and
(23:41):
if both people are open to it, it's free gain.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Basically, you guys, thank you so much for listening to
today's episode of Cheeky's and Chill. We'll continue this conversation
tomorrow with part two of my chat with the Medium.
It's a conversation you're not going to wanna mosse. Love you, guys, vestos.
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micauldura podcast Network.
(24:08):
Follow us on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's,
That's c h I q U I s. For more
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Living with someone before getting married is so much better.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah. I think we need to fully understand who the
person is before making such a big decision in our life.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
There are times when I want to kiss a girl.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It doesn't bother me. I see human beings. Love is love,
and if you've dated some girl before, I totally accept that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I think we're just practicing and letting things be right.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
When it comes to a kid, I think it's also
growing on you. I think it's growing on you.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I have had a little baby fever lately. Yeah, for sure.
Hello everyone, and welcome back to your favorite podcast, Cheeky's
in Chill. Today I'm joined by one of my favorite
people in the entire world, my boyfriend Emilio, and we're
going to get really personal today. We're going to talk
(00:51):
about how our relationship has evolved, and we're also going
to address a topic that's been brought up quite a bit.
So if you want to hear more, stay tuned. This
is cheek and Chill. Sitting here with me right now
is my love, Emilio Sanchez. He's a super talented photographer
(01:12):
based in la who has worked with everyone from Becky
g to the late Kobe Bryant and for those of
you who don't know, he's also photographed me a bunch
of times, including my book cover Unstoppable and also for
my album Avena. Hi, my love, how are you Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I'm doing great.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I wish you guys could see him. He looks so
nervous right now.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
But you've been on here before, you've been on here.
This is it's me.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah, and I love talking to you, so yeah, he.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Does you, guys. That's one thing I can tell you.
Emilio is very good at communication. And yes, the first
time you were on we talked about our new relationship
and the seven year you know, age gap, and today
we're going to give listeners a little update on how
things have evolved and progressed. And I want you to
be completely honest and how you feel. This is like
an open space. No one's listening, it's just when I copy.
(02:02):
And we're also going to talk about how you feel
about me, you know, being fifteen twenty percent you know, lesbian,
because that's been a topic that a lot of people,
you know, have been wanting to know about me liking
women and how you feel about it. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Absolutely all right?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Okay, so before we get into it, I want to
give everyone a bit of context, you know, a little background,
not too much because we did an entire episode already
on it, but for those of you who haven't listened
to that episode, shame on you go listen to it.
We've been dating for about what two years and three months? Yes,
and yes we live together. A lot of people, I think,
have that question, how long have we been living together?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Babe? November of our first year.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, it's been no. Really, Okay, I don't remember it.
Kind of it happened fairly quickly, you guys, But I
don't know. It just kind of happened right Like. We
didn't really talk about it. I just like wanted him
to come over, and a lot I'm like, oh, what
do you mean you're not going to spend the night tonight?
And then I'd go to his place. I don't know.
How do you feel about it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I feel like we had our healthy space in the beginning,
and then it just the situations that came in our
lives brought a new opportunity and I feel like we
kind of got funneled into this new position in our
life and it led to us starting a new journey together,
and that's how I saw it.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Mm hmmm. I think we both were just on the
same page. We both had been in pretty emotionally heavy
relationships right without talking about about anyone. But I think
we were both very honest from the beginning, and he
was very open as to what he wanted, what he
didn't want, and so was I and it just happened. You, guys,
(03:49):
I'm telling you, like the day I met him, I
had taken my iud at, which is birth control. I
had told myself, you know what, I'm going to be celibate.
I'm not going to date, and if I date, I'm
not going to have sex. Like I just had this
whole idea in my mind. And I'm telling you, the
universe and God had something different because that day when
we made when because I had already met him before
a few months before, eight nine months before, but that
(04:10):
March of twenty twenty one, I just, I don't know,
there was just this click. I can't even explain it.
And ever since then, I can count the times that
we haven't been together, like we've been together and spent
more time together than we haven't, right in these past
two years.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, but it's also like we enjoy it so much.
And I think that's also a reason why we moved
in so early, was because we love the feeling that
we've made each other feel. It's like, yeah, this is
where I want to be around.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Mm hmm. You gave me a lot of peace, for sure,
And I hadn't felt that in a long time, like
sleeping next to someone and just being at peace and
feeling safe. I hadn't felt that, I think ever, to
be honest. So when I felt that, it was just
like I got addicted to that feeling. Now I have
a question. I don't think i've ever asked you this.
What did your mom think about us moving in so quickly?
(04:59):
Or your grandma who we call Ama, she's like the
best by the.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Way, Well, a'ma oh, that's the one that was like,
don't get rid of your spot. Don't just move in
because if she kicks you out and then you're not
gonna have anywhere to go. And I was like, all right, Alma.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Well, his Alma was a little hesitant, a little worried
about us dating because of everything that she had heard
and seen on TV. You know, like for a long time,
all these programs, these Spanish programs just didn't really know me,
and I think perceived me in a certain way or
made me put me in a different light. So when
I met her, like her and I are like best friends.
We love each other now so much. But I think
(05:36):
she was worried for him, which is probably why she
said that, which makes sense. And by the way, he
still has his place. He still has a place in downtown,
he works out of there, and you know, but yeah,
we lived together full time. That's just what it is, guys.
And I'm fine with that because I'm sure a lot
of people are like, Okay, why not get married first
and then live together? I think living together personally, this
is my personal opinion. Living with someone before getting married
(05:59):
is so much much better, I think, right.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, I think we need to fully understand who the
person is before making such a big decision in your life,
and it gives us the space and time to really
get to know each other and see if it can
work and how it can work and what we need
to do to make it work.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah. I don't regret it at all. If anything, I
think it's been pretty awesome. And of course it was
a little not uncomfortable. What's the right word. It was
just we had to get adjusted, you know what I mean.
Like there's certain ways that I want things, and I'm
very anal, very particular, but he is a type of
partner that wants to learn, and so do I. So
(06:40):
it's like, Okay, if I tell him, hey, I don't
like this or can you do this, he'll do it.
Like we're both pretty good with that, right, Like if
there's something like you've told me. I'm not trying to
speak for you, but like you've told me, like if
I tell you I don't like something, like, I'm pretty
good with fixing it.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yes, you're very yes, And that was something that surprised
me that you were very response to whatever I told you.
And it might not sit with you well or as
easy in the beginning when you first hear it, but
then once you're able to digest it on your own,
then you show me pretty quickly, you know, with the
(07:14):
weeks after that, after I tell you, I see changers,
I see improvements. I see the effort, and that's, to me,
is the biggest thing.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Well, thanks, I try, you know, I'm trying. I really am,
because I could be I don't think I'm controlling, right,
It's not that. It's more of like I could be
a little said in my ways sort of things in
certain things. Yes, I admit to that, and he's taught
me and through therapy as well, that a relationship is
(07:43):
all about compromising and even if the things feel uncomfortable
to you, it'll feel better together, if that makes sense,
because I guess in a way I've been a little
bit of a of a fine this isn't working. I'm
by you know, and that come from what I saw
growing up. It's kind of like okay, next, you know,
(08:04):
and that's not okay. A relationship is work. It's work
every single day. It's you choosing that person and also
being willing to see, hey, I have things I need
to work on. I have things that I have to
be better at, you know, just communication. You've lived with
someone else before, right, babe?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Tell our people, Yes, it wasn't as permanent as this.
This is like the first time where it's like this
is our living situation and before it was more temporary.
So but having another person in your space, in your home,
it does change things.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
And what are what do you feel in your opinion,
like are the challenges of living together like you and I.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I think it's just having to be open about how
someone else likes things and figuring out what those things are,
what's important, what you like, how you like things done,
and also expressing what I like and how I like
things done as well, and just talking about those things.
It's something that you can't really plan out. We can't
(09:05):
be like this is the plan for us to make
this work. It's something that you have to experience and
things are going to come up, Emotions are going to
come up, and it's like we have to find out
why those motions come up and what I can do
on my end help. Again, it's compromising and working with
each other to make those things work. And I feel
like we do a pretty good job at that.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, I was going to tell you that because I
don't really have to tell him, hey, can you do this?
It's very very rare. I cook, and he washes the dishes,
he loves to vacuum, he makes the bed like it's
fairly I don't know. I don't want to say easy,
but it kind of has been where even if there's
something that bugs me, you know, like, for instance, he's
(09:46):
not a messy guy, but he kind of leaves like
his clothes just you know, on the other side of
the bed. He takes off his pants and his socks
and he just leaves it there. And like there are
times when I pick it up, and then are times
when I'm just like I'm just going to leave it there,
like I'm not you know, It's like I'm not gonna argue,
I'm not whatever. He's a brown as man. But I
got to pick and choose my battles. I'm not gonna
like cause a fight over something so like minimal. But
(10:10):
other than that, I mean.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, I'm really trying to think of like the things
that I don't like that you do around the house. Yeah,
And I honestly like I can't really think of anything.
Nothing comes on. I'm like, you're on it. You're on everything.
So it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh thanks man. Thanks. I mean I don't cook it.
Maybe I don't cook as often as you like, maybe
because I know that's one thing that Johnny wishes I
did like cook a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I just I love when you cook, Like when I
know you you cut your bandanna on and you go
in the kitchen and I'm like, okay, it's about to
go down.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, that's how they know. In the house I put
on I've been down a but I'm a clean I'm
get shit done. I want to talk a little bit,
just a tiny bit, because we have so many things
we got to talk about. But it's crazy to me,
you guys, Emilio's gonna be thirty one soon, and he's
(10:58):
very much over his age. I never thought, and I
had told myself from my previous relationship, I'm not going
to date anyone younger. I want a forty five year
old man who has been married and divorced and has kids.
And I had this whole other idea. I'm telling you,
God said, wait a minute, hold your horses. I'm sending
you this young guy who was very mature, very wise.
He's gonna teach you quite a bit and it's gonna
(11:19):
put your ass in your place. And it's a medio.
But you guys, he was kind of like a low
key fuck boy before me. Yes or no? Sure, yes, yes,
And I can't freaking believe it, you guys, Like when
he tells me some stories and how he was, I'm
just like, what, I can't even imagine it, you know.
(11:40):
But the beautiful thing about him is that he says
I was this way and I'm not proud of it.
I feel really bad. I heard a lot of girls,
and I appreciate that. I don't get jealous. If anything,
I'm like, that's very nice of him to say.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Fuck.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
If I couldn't go and apologize to these girls that
I hurt, I would, you know. But he also you
see it as as what babe, like, you explain it absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
That's something I tell myself a lot these days, is
I'm just I'm glad everything happened when it happened. I'm
grateful for the pain that I went through because it
wouldn't have made me who I am today. I hurt
a lot of people. I was hurt by people, and
it pushed me to a point where I was searching
for why am I unhappy? Still? Why am I unhappy
(12:23):
in every situation that I'm in? And I always went
and looked for this like magic pill that was just
going to make everything better. And I realized that what
I was looking for is I had to look within
myself inward, and I think I avoided that for so long.
Or I also didn't know the techniques on how to
do that. And when I met you, I had the
(12:46):
biggest drive to be like, I have a clean plate here.
What can I do to make sure that everything that
has happened before doesn't happen again? And that starts with myself,
my insecurities, my bad traits, that I have, any behavioral
patterns that follow me, and I just decided it was
(13:07):
time to stop running from those things and really dig
deep and you know change.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
And do you think it was because you were ready
as a man to have that in your life or
was it because you met me and you or was
it a little bit of both? Maybe? I don't know.
Do you think you would have been the same guy
now if it was another girl for instance?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, that question, I don't know. I feel like, again
I tell you this all the time, I feel like
we were really mad for each other. So that just
comes with that. But even in my twenties, even when
all the pain was happening in my heart, I always
knew what I wanted to be out. I know deep
down I'm a good person. I have good intentions. I
(13:48):
just didn't know how to express that with people. Then
when I met you, I was at a point where
I'm like I was so desperate for something new and
something to change, and then you also made me want
to Basically, I asked God to help me with the
problems that I had, and he's not going to just say, hey,
(14:11):
you're fixed. He's going to give you a situation where
you're tested and be like, Okay, you have insecurities. I'm
going to give you the woman that's going to make
all of those insecurities come out. And it's up to
you what to do with that, you know. And it
was our first year emotionally was really hard because I
was very uncomfortable with a lot of things because of
(14:33):
my career. Right just with everything you as a human being.
It could be career things, it can be day to
day things. It just opens up a door to be
able to work on yourselves. And Yeah, thankfully he brought
a woman into my life that I've been able to
go through that process with that's helped me a lot.
(14:55):
I know the work is on my end, but you
have supported me at my weakness. You you're there for
me and you have been there for me as well.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And this is I think we talked about this a
little bit before, but I have also had to work
on insecurities, you know, and people have asked me, how
do you feel about Emilio taking pictures of beautiful women?
And you know, they say all these things about photographers,
and I'm just like, I also am in a different
(15:24):
place in my life where I'm just like I know
who I am. But also you make me feel very
safe from the very beginning. You guys, I never asked
for his location. He gave it to me himself. We
have each other's locations, each other's passwords to our phones.
Like it was just very different, Like it wasn't I
had it was pulling teeth and because of it, like
it just I don't know, it's just different, I think
(15:44):
the first time, Yeah, like the first week I started dating,
I was in Waala, Lajara. Then you had to go
to where did you go with with Stilo?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Uh Costa Rica, Costa Rica.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
There was a bunch of girls in thongs, big booty
bitches on the boat. I told myself, like I have
to work through this, like I cannot be that toxic girlfriend.
I don't want to be that not. If anything, I
didn't want to like even pretend to be different with him.
I just didn't want to feel that those things anymore.
And sometimes I come up not gonna lie, but then
I'm like, you know what, no, Like I have to
(16:13):
be confident in who I am and in the man
that I have, And sometimes we torment our mind so
much with what could happen that we're not living and
enjoying the moment. And I used to do that so much,
like oh my gosh, well what is he doing again?
My past relationships very different. I didn't feel that piece
that I feel here, but I know that we've talked
(16:34):
about it, like things that have made you feel insecure
about my career, things that make me feel little insecure
about yours. But we communicate, and I think that is
the biggest difference in this relationship is that we're very
honest and we take care of each other's feelings.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I think yes. And also a big key to that
is that we don't judge each other, because when insecurity
has come up, it's so easy to be like, oh,
you're insecure, you're this, and shame that person, and we
don't do that from that place. We are here for
each other and be like, I know I can be like, hey,
(17:08):
this bars me, and I know that you'll listen to
me and hear me out on why and then also
help me in the process of getting me to process
that insecurity to where it's not a problem anymore, and
we work through it together. And that's I think that's
one of the biggest keys to the success in our relationship.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
For sure, and you're much better with that. To be honest,
there are times when you say things bother you and
I get upset, like initially, but then I'm like, no, wait,
I have to put myself in is sshoes. I have
to understand. I take a little longer to process things, guys.
But now I feel like I'm quicker and I'm a
little more open to it. At first, I was kind
of like, what the fuck. This is my job, this
is what I got to do. Now I'm like, wait,
this is a person that's important to me, and I
(17:49):
have to figure out how to make this work because
he makes me happy and it can't just be well,
this is my career, yes and no. So I have
worked through that with my therapist, and you have been
very paid and I appreciate that because again, I am
a little bit more stuck in my ways. But I'm
very proud of myself. I have gotten better, he said it.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
One thing that has helped a lot is we've been
microdosing together. We started microdosing together with psychedelics for how
long we've it's been what nine months now.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, it's been a little while and.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Now been a while, yeah, And I feel like it's
changed us as individuals and as a unit. We try
to stay on the same schedule with microdosing because it's
every what two to three days that we do it. Yeah,
And we pray together and stuff, and I think that
helps that we're on the same page, on the same frequency.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah. And something about that too. It's not just that
we're taking this pill and it's making us better. It's
it is the praying. It is setting our attentions. I
like to do it on the same schedule as you
show that. To me, it makes us feel more connected.
And if we set our intentions together and we pray
and we do our little ritual and give each other
a kiss, like, to me, that makes me feel like, hey,
(19:04):
my partner's here on this healing process with me. To me,
that's everything.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah. And just for people that don't know what psychedelics are,
they're basically mushrooms and I'm sure a lot of people
have heard that, Oh my god, you hallucinate. You see
things like get all. This is micro dosing. We take
very little and it's more of like medicinal purposes, healing
purposes that we do it. It's not to like go
out and party and get crazy. It's it's very different.
That's why how Emilio said, like we said our intentions,
(19:32):
and I always say, just make me the best version
of myself. Helped me become a better person all around,
a better partner, and for us to be connected, and
it's given us a lot of confidence. I feel like
in the relationship. I don't know, I just feel very
different since I've been doing it, and it's helped that
I've done it with him. But it's not like we're
out there doing drugs together, you guys, you know, it's
this is this is very different. So just I always say,
(19:53):
research it.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah. I think the biggest thing for micro dosing for
me has been that it makes me more present uring
a day, So it doesn't give me any room in
my head to overthink things, to have anxiety, to have depression,
because I'm so present and when you're present, I'm just
so you're grateful when you're in the present moment and
we get to enjoy each other.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, for sure. He believes in the power of Now.
He actually has it tattooed on his what is it
your wrist, your arm baper Yeah, yeah, And that's a book,
you guys, read it, The Power of Now. It's such
a good book. And the crazy thing is that we
had both read it obviously, way before we met each other.
And that's what it is, Like, I think we're we
both understand like the power of now, like living in
(20:35):
the present and how important that is. And that's what
causes I've talked about this a lot. What causes anxiety,
you guys, is worrying about something that hasn't happened, And
what causes depression is something that you're stuck in your past.
So that's the thing. I think that what makes our
relationship work so well, despite you know the seven age
you know, seven year gap, Yes, the seven year gap,
(20:57):
thank you sir. So I think despite all of that,
I think it's just the fact that like we're both
wanting to just be better individually and then together. Right yeah, okay, yeah,
that makes me happy. So another thing that we need
to talk about. I got a question I don't know
if I told you on Dear Cheeky's some girl. She
(21:18):
was really nice about it. She's like, girl, I saw
you on the Snow podcast and you were just flirting
with Snow and all this stuff. Don't you have a boyfriend?
Does he get mad? And all this stuff? And I've
gotten a lot of questions like that, and I was like,
wait a second, I'm going to bring a media on
because we need to talk about this. And again, I
have been so open with this man from the very beginning.
That's another choice something I had never done before. It's like,
(21:40):
hold up, I've been through some shit. I don't want
to go through it anymore. So something has to change
within myself and how I approach your relationship. So I
was very honest with the media from the beginning. Any
question he asked, I was like, yes, I'm always asking questions.
And he's not not that he's not open, but he's
just like, why are you asking about my ex? Girlfriend's
like what do you like? And he's right, we shouldn't
you go. It's not we should not open up that
(22:01):
kind of worms. But I'm just very nosy. But anyways,
I told him about me having a girlfriend. When I
was twenty three, I had a girlfriend. I'm like, there
are times when I want to kiss a girl. And
he was actually with me when I went to someone's podcast,
No her twitch was it her twitch bit Leslie DJ Leslie.
And we kissed and I had already kind of like
(22:24):
told him, hey, you know, so he knew what he
was walking into and he saw when we kissed and everything.
It wasn't like a tongue kiss. It was just like
a cute little pet. She kissed me, but I let her,
And how did you feel?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I thought it was cool. We were having fun. We
were there having a great time. Yeah, it doesn't bother
me like it. I see human beings and love is love.
And if you dated some of girl before, I totally
accept that. I don't sit here and worry like, oh
what if she comes and leaves me for a girl,
(22:58):
And it's the same thing as you coming to me
and tell me you're leaving me for a guy. It
makes no difference. It doesn't make any difference. You've been
very open about it, and it doesn't bother me at all.
I mean, if you came to me one day and
be like, hey, last night made out with this girl
and like that's I heard each other. I know you
(23:19):
wouldn't do that without talking to me about that first,
or be like, hey, this is the situation and I
think that's just part of our communication. I don't think
you would ever do anything to step out of line
like that to where it where it turns that situation
into a bad thing again. In a relationship, as long
as there's communication about anything and both people agree, and
(23:41):
if both people are open to it, it's free gain.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Basically, you guys, thank you so much for listening to
today's episode of Cheeky's and Chill. We'll continue this conversation
tomorrow with part two of my chat with the Medium.
It's a conversation you're not going to wanna mosse. Love you, guys, vestos.
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micauldura podcast Network.
(24:08):
Follow us on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's,
That's c h I q U I s. For more
podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us
out on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.