September 18, 2024 • 17 mins
Hello and welcome to a new episode of Dear Chiquis. This week, Cristian recently lost a bunch of weight and needs advice on how to keep it off; Delilah asks for my opinion on whether to dump one of her friends; an anonymous listener wants to find a way to rekindle the spark in her marriage and Lizzi is going through a tough time with her daughter and needs tips on how to fix their relationship.
You can leave me your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Having issues with your family, or maybe you need help
figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to
start a business. What arever the cases I want to
hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions.
And if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you
should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now,
go ahead and leave your question at the sound of
the beat.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Hi, Cheeky's. My name is grise Dan. I'm one of
your biggest fans. I've been following you for a long
long time now. I admire everything you do. I love
going to your concert, I love watching you. I love
seeing everything new that you have chickasing Field, throw your podcasts.
I recently lost ninety pounds and I know you have
(01:11):
too recently lost a lot of weight, and so my
question to you is do you think that a life
and the way that you see life and the way
that people treat you has been different?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Now?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
That you've lost weight, and what tips can you give
someone who's recently lost weight and who but who's changed
their life? Because what can you tell someone repetto? And
I really hope I can see you soon.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I love you, oh CHRISTI, and thank you so much,
and thank you for being you know, a boss B.
I appreciate that very much. And it's a very very
interesting question. I kind of talked about it a little
bit on one of my episodes on Cheese and Chew.
But yes, people definitely treat you different.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
When you've lost.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Weight or when you are not a size twelve. I
guess because I was a size ten twelve and I
did notice a big difference once I lost weight. Unfortunately,
we live in a very superficial world and people think
(02:23):
that beauty is being a size two and four, and
that's beautiful two, But so is being a size fifteen,
a size sixteen. And I know it's gonna sound cliche,
but real beauty, beauty that lasts, does really come from
the heart and what you think and how you carry yourself,
because that's what's gonna last. This is gonna go away
(02:46):
one day, it's your spirit. But anyways, I feel like
you also get more opportunities being I guess on the
lighter side of things, it's very sad and it's very
unfortunate because I've decided that I want to stay with
the people that loved me when I was two hundred
and six pounds. It's like, those are the people, are
(03:07):
the real people, and not the people that are trying
to be my friend and tell me, oh, now you're pretty.
Oh wow, now you look beautiful, and it's just like
what But anyways, the best thing is congratulations actually, by
the way, for losing ninety pounds. I mean, that is
amazing and more than anything, because of our health, we
feel better. You have more energy, and that's the reason
(03:27):
why I also wanted to lose weight and I went
on this whole journey because I wanted to just feel
better physically and have more energy and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And I do and I really really do. So I
hope that you feel the same.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
And I mean advice, honestly, it's just make it a lifestyle.
Don't let it be just something that happened. Make it
a lifestyle. Make changes for long term, and yeah, just
ignore those people that are now trying to maybe be
your friend or come into your life or you know,
(04:00):
just you know. I I'm like, oh, I'm keep you
right there arms length the way. It'll be nice, but
you ain't coming in here, you know, in this inner circle.
And also Crisian, before I let you go, there is
an episode on Cheeky's and Chill called My Weight Loss Journey,
so check it out and you can. I spoke about
it a little bit more in detail. Okay, So wishing
you the best. Thank you so much for your question.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Okay, our next question comes from Delilah.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Excuse, I just wanted to say I love you and
I love your mom so much. I here watching you guys.
So I have two things.
Speaker 7 (04:32):
Number One, I just got a brand new car Freeze
out of the dealership. I literally crashed while parking. I
was entering a parking lot and while entering a parking
space on my work. I hate one of my coworkers cars. Now,
I've been driving for four years, I'm twenty one. I've
always gotten used to driving bigger cars and this is
my first smaller car. And now, like this entire week,
(04:55):
I've just felt so discussive with myself. It was one
time I look at the car, I feel discussed with myself.
I have so much anxiety. I almost cried every single
day coming into work like I did. The joy of
the new car is gone. I feel like everyone in the.
Speaker 6 (05:07):
Office hates me. I don't know how to not feel
like that. So because give me advice on how to
not feel like that.
Speaker 7 (05:12):
And second of all, secondly, I made a friend of
college and we text a lot, but I feel like
anytime I open my heart about something about that something
that's heavy in my heart, like she just says, Dann girl,
I'm sorry. Like I feel like we can't have any
heartfelt conversations. And anytime she told me something that's heavy,
I like sit there and I ask her how she
is and blah blah blah, but she just wants to
(05:33):
talk about like random stuff, nothing that's like deep, deep stuff.
And I don't know if I if that's like a
good friendship or not. Because I'm the type of person
that I like to talk about deep stuff and open
my heart about something.
Speaker 6 (05:47):
She just is like, Dann girl, I'm sorry, And it
makes me feel like do you not care?
Speaker 7 (05:51):
Or like I don't know if I should be friends
with someone that is not as deep and heartful like me.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Okay, Delilah. First of all, I'm really sorry that you
crush your car. I know that sucks. I know, but
you know what, when things like that happen, I always
think of like it's a material something, a goal. It's
a material thing that you can fix. Yes, it sucks.
(06:17):
It was a brand new car. And I don't think
everyone in the office hates you. I mean, accidents happen.
It's not like you did it intentionally, like you want
to crash your car, like you know what I mean,
Like it it's a brand new car, and shit happens.
You know, as long as you apologize and you take
responsibility and you take care of the other person's car
and you know all that stuff, I think what's going
(06:37):
to help you feel better in that sense is just knowing,
Thank goodness, I'm okay, the other person's okay.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Nothing happened. It could have been worse.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
And if people don't like you because of that, then
you don't need those people in your life because everyone
makes mistakes and you made a mistake and that's that.
And then in regards to your friend, look, I don't
think your friend is a bad friend necessarily. I think
that you should have friends and know that you have
friends for everything. I know what friend to go to
when I need to have a deep ass conversation. I
(07:08):
know that I have a friend that is fun and
we go drinking and we have surface level conversations. You
seem to be a person of substance. I don't think
this is your only friend, and I don't think that
you need to unfriend her. Is just know this is
my friend for this. But if you feel a little
bit like bankrupt, like you're feeling her cup more than
(07:29):
she's feeling yours, then that's a different story.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
But really think about it. Does she fill your cup
in other ways? Is she fun? Is she a good time?
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Like, you just have to kind of figure that out.
But I don't think she's a bad person. I don't
think that you need to unfriend her. It's just she
maybe doesn't even know how to go about giving people
the advice. Some people aren't good at that. Some people
are just good at listening and just say hey, I'm
so sorry you're going through that, but hey, this is
what's going on with me, and you may feel like, oh,
how selfish, But sometimes they don't know how to give
it advice, and you can't blame them for that, you know,
(08:02):
So maybe you know, find another friend to.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Have a deep conversation with.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
That's my advice to you, Miss Delilah, and I hope
it helped. Okay, moving on to the next question. It
is from an anonymous listener. Let's see, Hi Kei Key's.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
First of all, I just want to say that I
really am a big fan and supporter of you and
your mom and your siblings.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
You you guys are just.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Product of an angel and I respect you guys so
much as a unit of siblings. So keep doing what
you're doing. But really I kind of wanted to hear
your thoughts on.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
What you would recommend.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
I have been married for five years. We've been together
and we have three kids together, but recently we just
bought a house. Work is very, very busy for the
both of us, thank god, but our marriage, our relationship
(09:17):
just isn't the same, you know. I feel that we
are both placing our marriage the last on the priority list,
and that's not how it was. Your relationship with the
media really is a good example what we used.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
To be in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
We respect each other and we you know, we're always
each other's number one fans. But now, just because life
is so hectic and so busy, it almost feels like
neither one of us is putting in the effort for
our relationship. With three kids, businesses, it's gotten crazy. So
(10:00):
you know, what would you suggest, I know, you know,
making time for each other, possibly even seeking therapy so
that we can become one with ourselves and then eventually
with one another. But yeah, just any thoughts or words
of advice would be helpful.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Thank you so much, you know, my beautiful and I
am miss listener.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
First of all, I love starting with first of all,
but my relationship with the media is fairly new, you know,
and we're going in four years. We it's been months
that we've been married. So you also have to understand
that every relationship goes through seasons, and it's what you
(10:48):
do in those tough seasons, in those seasons of darkness,
what to do about it. I think you taking the
first step of asking. I mean, you answered your own question,
by the way, and I'm gonna I'm gonna get there
right now. But I think you just need to hear
from someone else, maybe someone that isn't necessarily in So
(11:09):
I'm gonna be as honest as I possibly can. I
think it's great that you guys are busy and life
is seems like it's thriving. You have three beautiful children,
you have businesses, and that's great. I think that if
both of you have not made the relationship a priority,
one of you has to take action. So it's gonna
(11:30):
be you, and you have to be okay with that.
You have to find the time and make the time,
and your relationship should be number two on your priority
of yeah, number two. Really it should be God, and
then your relationship and then your kids. Why because your
kids are gonna grow up later and they're gonna start
their own lives some pristalos, you know, and and and
(11:53):
you have to make your relationship a priority. How can
you do that? Yes, definitely therapy.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
You said it. Therapy is saved my life.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And I'm sure that Emilia and I are gonna and
we still do have rough patches, and it's not you know.
I mean, I'm honest with you, guys. I tell you,
guys the issues that we've had. So anyways, I think
that therapy has to be a part of every relationship
and a part of our individual lives.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
To be whole, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So anyways, definitely therapy, but I think you need to
set up a date night without the kids, get a babysitter.
The businesses can wait, and you have to start dating
each other again, start doing things. Remember the things that
you guys had fun doing together when the kids weren't around,
you know, And it could be anything like go back
(12:39):
to those moments and say, Okay, I have to rekindle this.
I have to like spark it up again. So you're
gonna have to take action. Someone has to take action.
You can't just sit there and expect him to do
it like you. Also, this is your relationship and you
have a responsibility in it, So I would say set
up first things. First, set up a date night, have
a nice time, have a couple of dreams. He's your friend,
(13:02):
remember that, and then say hey, I want to do
therapy together. Hopefully he says yes, because that'll be a
great sign. If he says no, then that's really going
to disppoint me. So I really hope even if it's
through zoom something where you guys could just release your feelings.
Maybe he's harboring feelings that you don't know about you
guys have to communicate. There is still hope. There's still hope,
(13:22):
and I'm really hoping.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That it gets better. So our next question and our
last question comes from Lizzie.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Hi Cheeky's. First off, I want to say how much
of a huge fan I am to you and your family.
My question that I have for you is, I have
a twenty one year old daughter and our relationship is terrible.
I had spent twenty two years with married to her father,
(13:56):
which he was very abusive, controlling, and just you know,
bad relationship. Will I finally decided to leave after twenty
two years, and since then she seems to put the
blame on me and she sees her father and a
(14:16):
perfect light that he never had any issues since I
did my best to try to make sure that the
kids were not seeing the abuse, the hitting and so forth.
So my question to you is how can I help
heal our relationship to where she no longer has this
(14:36):
hatred towards me for what has happened. There's also younger
siblings involved, which we're trying to make sure that they
are in a better situation and co parenting is going
as smooth as possible. But right now it's difficult, so
please any advice will greatly help. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Oh Lizzie.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
First of all, you're a great mother because you not
telling your children everything that you went through and what
their father was doing. That says a lot about you.
Your daughter is now old enough to know the truth,
and I think that if you haven't, maybe you can
have a conversation with her and ask her to understand
(15:19):
you as a woman that if she had a daughter,
would she want that for her daughter or if she
was in that situation, what would she do, And maybe
be honest and also say, I'm not saying for you
to hate your father. You should love him no matter what.
He's a good father. He just wasn't a good husband
and leave it at that. Maybe speaking to your ex
(15:41):
husband and telling him, hey, help me out with our
child here. I don't know if he speaks badly about you,
but he needs to bring in some light, shed some
light into this relationship. And he should do his end
as well, because he obviously did things that he wasn't
supposed to, so he needs to help clean up the
mess a little bit. And again, you guys know, I'm
(16:04):
a huge advocate for therapy. Therapy helps so much. So
if you and your daughter can go to therapy with
someone there to just kind of mediate and where you,
guys can safely express your feelings, I.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Think that'll also help.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
But I think it's just also going to take life
and growing up and maturing on your daughter's part to
understand you as a woman, because I think she's just
seeing it as a daughter and she's hurt and she
wants to see her family together, so you have to
understand that as well. But as a woman, she will
understand and you just have to be patient and compassionate.
(16:41):
But I think it's time to maybe tell her some
of the ugly truth. I hope that helped you.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Thank you so much for your questions. Thank you for
always tuning in to Dear Cheeky's. If you still haven't
asked me a question, you can be an anonymous question
ask her a person. You don't have to give me
your name. If you want to change your voice, go ahead.
I'd love to help you and give you an advice
on anything. So you can leave your question at speakpipe
dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast osmucho and I
(17:10):
will catch you here on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Of Dear Cheeky's peace Out Guys.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Withura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Mike Withura Podcasts and follow
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For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
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Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Having issues with your family, or maybe you need help
figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to
start a business. What arever the cases I want to
hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions.
And if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you
should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now,
go ahead and leave your question at the sound of
the beat.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Hi, Cheeky's. My name is grise Dan. I'm one of
your biggest fans. I've been following you for a long
long time now. I admire everything you do. I love
going to your concert, I love watching you. I love
seeing everything new that you have chickasing Field, throw your podcasts.
I recently lost ninety pounds and I know you have
(01:11):
too recently lost a lot of weight, and so my
question to you is do you think that a life
and the way that you see life and the way
that people treat you has been different?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Now?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
That you've lost weight, and what tips can you give
someone who's recently lost weight and who but who's changed
their life? Because what can you tell someone repetto? And
I really hope I can see you soon.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I love you, oh CHRISTI, and thank you so much,
and thank you for being you know, a boss B.
I appreciate that very much. And it's a very very
interesting question. I kind of talked about it a little
bit on one of my episodes on Cheese and Chew.
But yes, people definitely treat you different.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
When you've lost.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Weight or when you are not a size twelve. I
guess because I was a size ten twelve and I
did notice a big difference once I lost weight. Unfortunately,
we live in a very superficial world and people think
(02:23):
that beauty is being a size two and four, and
that's beautiful two, But so is being a size fifteen,
a size sixteen. And I know it's gonna sound cliche,
but real beauty, beauty that lasts, does really come from
the heart and what you think and how you carry yourself,
because that's what's gonna last. This is gonna go away
(02:46):
one day, it's your spirit. But anyways, I feel like
you also get more opportunities being I guess on the
lighter side of things, it's very sad and it's very
unfortunate because I've decided that I want to stay with
the people that loved me when I was two hundred
and six pounds. It's like, those are the people, are
(03:07):
the real people, and not the people that are trying
to be my friend and tell me, oh, now you're pretty.
Oh wow, now you look beautiful, and it's just like
what But anyways, the best thing is congratulations actually, by
the way, for losing ninety pounds. I mean, that is
amazing and more than anything, because of our health, we
feel better. You have more energy, and that's the reason
(03:27):
why I also wanted to lose weight and I went
on this whole journey because I wanted to just feel
better physically and have more energy and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And I do and I really really do. So I
hope that you feel the same.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
And I mean advice, honestly, it's just make it a lifestyle.
Don't let it be just something that happened. Make it
a lifestyle. Make changes for long term, and yeah, just
ignore those people that are now trying to maybe be
your friend or come into your life or you know,
(04:00):
just you know. I I'm like, oh, I'm keep you
right there arms length the way. It'll be nice, but
you ain't coming in here, you know, in this inner circle.
And also Crisian, before I let you go, there is
an episode on Cheeky's and Chill called My Weight Loss Journey,
so check it out and you can. I spoke about
it a little bit more in detail. Okay, So wishing
you the best. Thank you so much for your question.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Okay, our next question comes from Delilah.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Excuse, I just wanted to say I love you and
I love your mom so much. I here watching you guys.
So I have two things.
Speaker 7 (04:32):
Number One, I just got a brand new car Freeze
out of the dealership. I literally crashed while parking. I
was entering a parking lot and while entering a parking
space on my work. I hate one of my coworkers cars. Now,
I've been driving for four years, I'm twenty one. I've
always gotten used to driving bigger cars and this is
my first smaller car. And now, like this entire week,
(04:55):
I've just felt so discussive with myself. It was one
time I look at the car, I feel discussed with myself.
I have so much anxiety. I almost cried every single
day coming into work like I did. The joy of
the new car is gone. I feel like everyone in the.
Speaker 6 (05:07):
Office hates me. I don't know how to not feel
like that. So because give me advice on how to
not feel like that.
Speaker 7 (05:12):
And second of all, secondly, I made a friend of
college and we text a lot, but I feel like
anytime I open my heart about something about that something
that's heavy in my heart, like she just says, Dann girl,
I'm sorry. Like I feel like we can't have any
heartfelt conversations. And anytime she told me something that's heavy,
I like sit there and I ask her how she
is and blah blah blah, but she just wants to
(05:33):
talk about like random stuff, nothing that's like deep, deep stuff.
And I don't know if I if that's like a
good friendship or not. Because I'm the type of person
that I like to talk about deep stuff and open
my heart about something.
Speaker 6 (05:47):
She just is like, Dann girl, I'm sorry, And it
makes me feel like do you not care?
Speaker 7 (05:51):
Or like I don't know if I should be friends
with someone that is not as deep and heartful like me.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Okay, Delilah. First of all, I'm really sorry that you
crush your car. I know that sucks. I know, but
you know what, when things like that happen, I always
think of like it's a material something, a goal. It's
a material thing that you can fix. Yes, it sucks.
(06:17):
It was a brand new car. And I don't think
everyone in the office hates you. I mean, accidents happen.
It's not like you did it intentionally, like you want
to crash your car, like you know what I mean,
Like it it's a brand new car, and shit happens.
You know, as long as you apologize and you take
responsibility and you take care of the other person's car
and you know all that stuff, I think what's going
(06:37):
to help you feel better in that sense is just knowing,
Thank goodness, I'm okay, the other person's okay.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Nothing happened. It could have been worse.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
And if people don't like you because of that, then
you don't need those people in your life because everyone
makes mistakes and you made a mistake and that's that.
And then in regards to your friend, look, I don't
think your friend is a bad friend necessarily. I think
that you should have friends and know that you have
friends for everything. I know what friend to go to
when I need to have a deep ass conversation. I
(07:08):
know that I have a friend that is fun and
we go drinking and we have surface level conversations. You
seem to be a person of substance. I don't think
this is your only friend, and I don't think that
you need to unfriend her. Is just know this is
my friend for this. But if you feel a little
bit like bankrupt, like you're feeling her cup more than
(07:29):
she's feeling yours, then that's a different story.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
But really think about it. Does she fill your cup
in other ways? Is she fun? Is she a good time?
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Like, you just have to kind of figure that out.
But I don't think she's a bad person. I don't
think that you need to unfriend her. It's just she
maybe doesn't even know how to go about giving people
the advice. Some people aren't good at that. Some people
are just good at listening and just say hey, I'm
so sorry you're going through that, but hey, this is
what's going on with me, and you may feel like, oh,
how selfish, But sometimes they don't know how to give
it advice, and you can't blame them for that, you know,
(08:02):
So maybe you know, find another friend to.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Have a deep conversation with.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
That's my advice to you, Miss Delilah, and I hope
it helped. Okay, moving on to the next question. It
is from an anonymous listener. Let's see, Hi Kei Key's.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
First of all, I just want to say that I
really am a big fan and supporter of you and
your mom and your siblings.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
You you guys are just.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Product of an angel and I respect you guys so
much as a unit of siblings. So keep doing what
you're doing. But really I kind of wanted to hear
your thoughts on.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
What you would recommend.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
I have been married for five years. We've been together
and we have three kids together, but recently we just
bought a house. Work is very, very busy for the
both of us, thank god, but our marriage, our relationship
(09:17):
just isn't the same, you know. I feel that we
are both placing our marriage the last on the priority list,
and that's not how it was. Your relationship with the
media really is a good example what we used.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
To be in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
We respect each other and we you know, we're always
each other's number one fans. But now, just because life
is so hectic and so busy, it almost feels like
neither one of us is putting in the effort for
our relationship. With three kids, businesses, it's gotten crazy. So
(10:00):
you know, what would you suggest, I know, you know,
making time for each other, possibly even seeking therapy so
that we can become one with ourselves and then eventually
with one another. But yeah, just any thoughts or words
of advice would be helpful.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Thank you so much, you know, my beautiful and I
am miss listener.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
First of all, I love starting with first of all,
but my relationship with the media is fairly new, you know,
and we're going in four years. We it's been months
that we've been married. So you also have to understand
that every relationship goes through seasons, and it's what you
(10:48):
do in those tough seasons, in those seasons of darkness,
what to do about it. I think you taking the
first step of asking. I mean, you answered your own question,
by the way, and I'm gonna I'm gonna get there
right now. But I think you just need to hear
from someone else, maybe someone that isn't necessarily in So
(11:09):
I'm gonna be as honest as I possibly can. I
think it's great that you guys are busy and life
is seems like it's thriving. You have three beautiful children,
you have businesses, and that's great. I think that if
both of you have not made the relationship a priority,
one of you has to take action. So it's gonna
(11:30):
be you, and you have to be okay with that.
You have to find the time and make the time,
and your relationship should be number two on your priority
of yeah, number two. Really it should be God, and
then your relationship and then your kids. Why because your
kids are gonna grow up later and they're gonna start
their own lives some pristalos, you know, and and and
(11:53):
you have to make your relationship a priority. How can
you do that? Yes, definitely therapy.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
You said it. Therapy is saved my life.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And I'm sure that Emilia and I are gonna and
we still do have rough patches, and it's not you know.
I mean, I'm honest with you, guys. I tell you,
guys the issues that we've had. So anyways, I think
that therapy has to be a part of every relationship
and a part of our individual lives.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
To be whole, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
So anyways, definitely therapy, but I think you need to
set up a date night without the kids, get a babysitter.
The businesses can wait, and you have to start dating
each other again, start doing things. Remember the things that
you guys had fun doing together when the kids weren't around,
you know, And it could be anything like go back
(12:39):
to those moments and say, Okay, I have to rekindle this.
I have to like spark it up again. So you're
gonna have to take action. Someone has to take action.
You can't just sit there and expect him to do
it like you. Also, this is your relationship and you
have a responsibility in it, So I would say set
up first things. First, set up a date night, have
a nice time, have a couple of dreams. He's your friend,
(13:02):
remember that, and then say hey, I want to do
therapy together. Hopefully he says yes, because that'll be a
great sign. If he says no, then that's really going
to disppoint me. So I really hope even if it's
through zoom something where you guys could just release your feelings.
Maybe he's harboring feelings that you don't know about you
guys have to communicate. There is still hope. There's still hope,
(13:22):
and I'm really hoping.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That it gets better. So our next question and our
last question comes from Lizzie.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Hi Cheeky's. First off, I want to say how much
of a huge fan I am to you and your family.
My question that I have for you is, I have
a twenty one year old daughter and our relationship is terrible.
I had spent twenty two years with married to her father,
(13:56):
which he was very abusive, controlling, and just you know,
bad relationship. Will I finally decided to leave after twenty
two years, and since then she seems to put the
blame on me and she sees her father and a
(14:16):
perfect light that he never had any issues since I
did my best to try to make sure that the
kids were not seeing the abuse, the hitting and so forth.
So my question to you is how can I help
heal our relationship to where she no longer has this
(14:36):
hatred towards me for what has happened. There's also younger
siblings involved, which we're trying to make sure that they
are in a better situation and co parenting is going
as smooth as possible. But right now it's difficult, so
please any advice will greatly help. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Oh Lizzie.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
First of all, you're a great mother because you not
telling your children everything that you went through and what
their father was doing. That says a lot about you.
Your daughter is now old enough to know the truth,
and I think that if you haven't, maybe you can
have a conversation with her and ask her to understand
(15:19):
you as a woman that if she had a daughter,
would she want that for her daughter or if she
was in that situation, what would she do, And maybe
be honest and also say, I'm not saying for you
to hate your father. You should love him no matter what.
He's a good father. He just wasn't a good husband
and leave it at that. Maybe speaking to your ex
(15:41):
husband and telling him, hey, help me out with our
child here. I don't know if he speaks badly about you,
but he needs to bring in some light, shed some
light into this relationship. And he should do his end
as well, because he obviously did things that he wasn't
supposed to, so he needs to help clean up the
mess a little bit. And again, you guys know, I'm
(16:04):
a huge advocate for therapy. Therapy helps so much. So
if you and your daughter can go to therapy with
someone there to just kind of mediate and where you,
guys can safely express your feelings, I.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Think that'll also help.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
But I think it's just also going to take life
and growing up and maturing on your daughter's part to
understand you as a woman, because I think she's just
seeing it as a daughter and she's hurt and she
wants to see her family together, so you have to
understand that as well. But as a woman, she will
understand and you just have to be patient and compassionate.
(16:41):
But I think it's time to maybe tell her some
of the ugly truth. I hope that helped you.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Thank you so much for your questions. Thank you for
always tuning in to Dear Cheeky's. If you still haven't
asked me a question, you can be an anonymous question
ask her a person. You don't have to give me
your name. If you want to change your voice, go ahead.
I'd love to help you and give you an advice
on anything. So you can leave your question at speakpipe
dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast osmucho and I
(17:10):
will catch you here on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Of Dear Cheeky's peace Out Guys.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Withura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Mike Withura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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