April 4, 2022 • 42 mins
Chiquis talks to Sal Perez, one of the stars of the popular Netflix reality series Love is Blind. Sal opens up about what made him go on the show, his favorite and least favorite cast members and how the experience has shaped his view of relationships. Sal also discusses being sensitive and showing emotions as a Latino man and, in true Sal fashion, he even sings a song for Chiquis!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What made you say yes to the show. When I
stumbled upon this opportunity, I was like, this is something
where they're filtering out so many people, such an intense process.
Who is your favorite cast member on the show. My
favorite cast member on the show is have your ex broken?
Titchu up? You know they probably did. Uh. I've got
(00:28):
a few more messages than you. I bet you've got
a lot of girls slid from your Dan's boy. Hi. Everyone,
I'm so happy to have you here with me today.
As always, thank you so much for joining me. I'm
your host Cheeky's and today is going to be a
pretty exciting episode. That's because today's guest is a cast
(00:50):
member from the popular Netflix reality show Love Is Blind. Guys,
I've watched the entire show and I've enjoyed every single
minute of it. I'm not even joking. So I'm super
excited to talk to today's guest about a bunch of
different topics. So let's get right into it. This is
cheek Ease and Chill. Alright, So it's promised. I'm sitting
(01:19):
here with the one and only sell the Door Perez.
You know him as Seal, and as I mentioned earlier,
he is a start on the reality show Love Is
Blind season two. If you guys haven't seen it yet,
you guys can binge the entire season on Netflix now,
and I'm telling you it's a must watch. So sal
welcome to the show. How are you? Thank you? I
(01:40):
am really there. You know, it's been a little bit
different since the show ended. But I'm great, I'm great,
and I yeah, I'm excited to be here. Thank you
so much. I'm so excited to talk to you. And okay,
now let let me let's just get right into it.
You said that it's been a little different since, like
the show ended. Why in what way? Well, just for
off the bat, I'm such a private person, like to
(02:02):
begin with, so just seeing people like giving me such
so much support and being stopped like in random situations
in my life has been an adjustment. But you know,
people are so nice here and they're so considerate. They're like,
is this okay? Can I can I talk to you
a little man? How cute? Where do you live? I
live in a wicker Park in Chicago, Illinois. Oh nice, Okay,
(02:26):
I heard somewhere. You're from El Paso? Is that correct? Yes,
that's always home for me. El Paso, Texas. I was
not born there, but I was raised there so since
I was two years old, and then eventually made them
move over to Chicago. Okay, so let's get into love
is Blind. So you say that you're a very you know,
a reserved or private person. What made you say yes
(02:49):
to the show, to this experiment? Because you're you're in
your early thirties, right, So what made you feel like, Okay,
I'm gonna take the sleep of faith? You know, originally
I I thought it would be really fun to try it.
To be completely honest, I was tired of the apps.
I had no real luck there. I feel like I
got a lot of judgment on those apps when I
(03:09):
was on there. And you know, it's so easy to
swipe on somebody if if whatever, if they have just
not the right picture or something like that, then it's
easy to just like, all right, next person, you know
what I mean. So when I stumbled upon this opportunity,
I was like, okay, I mean, this is something where
they're filtering out so many people. This is such an
(03:31):
intense process. It's backed by research, it's backed by people
who are like, this is supposed to work. I don't
know how much I could say, but there were so
many questions I had to answer before actually being accepted
into this. So just right off the bat, I was like,
all right, if all of these people are going through this,
I want to see if this actually works. So I
was like, I'm going to step out of my comfort
(03:52):
zone a little bit. And you know, even though I
am more of a private person, I was just like,
I want to put it out there. Let's see this
could be an opportunity for growth. Then maybe I end
up marrying at the end of it. Well that's good though.
You're open. You're open to the idea. And did you
really feel like, okay, if I meet that girl, like
I'm ready to get married, like you're ready to take
that step. I definitely felt like I was ready to
(04:14):
find my person absolutely, yeah. Yeah, But it was I
had to go into it with an open mind and
open heart and be just very open to the experience.
You know, I knew that going I was just like,
I'm just gonna go hard, I'm gonna be emotional, I'm
gonna be vulnerable, I'm gonna be open with these people
and just put my heart on the line. And that's
exactly what I did, so you did, and I loved you.
(04:37):
I was like, well, I'm like, honestly, I watched it,
like I got stuck on the show, and you really
stood out to me because of that. I was like,
he looks like a genuine person, Like he is in
touch with his emotions, he's very honest, he knows what
he wants because you're very young, and usually men like
aren't ready you know, quote unquote, like until they're like
their mid thirties, late thirties. But like, I think because
(04:59):
of your family, and I'm telling I feel like I
know you right, but I feel like I met your
sisters on the show. And then I'm like, he comes
from a good traditional family, it looks like, and he
has a good head on his shoulders. So I was like, dude,
if this girl gets your ship together, Mallory, okay, this
is my show, obviously, whatever I want, guys, Okay. So
I was like, if she gets her ship together, she's
gonna take a really good man. And then we'll talk
(05:21):
about that a little later. But that's just my take
from the show. So I admire that that you took
that leap of faith and you were open to that
experience and that experiment because I'm sure it was scary.
I'm pretty sure it was, but I think it's so
badass because I was very interested. I'm like, yeah, like
this is another way, a more genuine fear way to
(05:41):
meet someone. Yeah, and it thinks I feel like there
you get frozen into indecision when you have too many choices,
and I feel like that's what these apps today are
geared towards. It's just giving you so many you know,
and you never take the time to get to know
somebody sincerely, you know. And then so this experience was
so intense, cheeky, like it was just that was our
(06:04):
job seven. You know. It's just like finding the person
that you connect with that you want to spend the
rest of your life with. And when you put that
much pressure on one task, like you could really get
far in that in that goal, you know, you could
really just because that's your main focus. Yeah. Yeah, And
it was was it for two weeks that you guys
were in the pods? Um, technically it was like ten
(06:28):
days of pod dating. The whole experience I think took
about three weeks, just because we would take breaks or
we weren't like going into the pods every day. Yeah,
I kind of figured and that was like one of
my questions because I mean, I come from like reality TV,
so I just know that even when they would do
like the edits or like they would cut certain things,
I'm like, oh my god, they're just creating drama. Then
(06:49):
you watch it and then you're like, Okay, it wasn't
that bad, you know, But because I know how it works,
I was a wondering. I'm like, I wonder if they
were there straight for two weeks or did they take
like you said, breaks in between. Um, you know, it's television, guys,
it's television. Certain magic has to happen dates. But don't
get me wrong, Like some days it was harder to
go on those dates because sometimes like my longest date
(07:11):
was maybe two and a half hours, three hours inside
of a pod with oh yeah, and you you just
sit there and it's okay to be bored with your person,
you know, Like, but we would just sitting there and talk,
we just hang out. And sometimes these didn't make it
on there. Like on some other dates, I would pass
out a little bit. I was gonna ask, I think,
(07:35):
did you ever take naps? Dude? Yeah? They give you
really comfortable love his blind blankets, and so I was nice.
Well I remember one time, but I won't say who
I was on the date with, but yeah, I came
a little bit. And then you wake up and you're like, oh, Dane, yeah, yeah,
you're so respectful. That's so nice of you not to
(07:56):
say who it was, because you've had two connections, right too,
strong connections, am I am? I correct? You know for me,
I had I had three. There were actually deep to
and I really did connect pretty closely towards the end
of it, but then we fizzled out at the end
when we were like top three people, Um, we have
pettled out by then. But towards the end, I was
(08:21):
pretty set on Mallory, like it was just like Mallory
or nobody. And the other two people that were in
my top three understood that. I think they felt it
was just like people talk, you know. I was talking
to the guys and the girls were talking to the girls,
you know, and so we kind of get around. Yeah,
and it got around, and and we never Mallory and
I were never territorial about each other. It was just
(08:43):
kind of like we understood that, hey, we have a
strong connection here. And we're having fun with each other
and that's it, you know, like there was no real
poeticition for that, you know. So yeah, another one of
my favorites is Deep Deep. I felt like she was
just a very genuine, great person and I was so
proud of her decision to be honest, I was like,
oh my god, I was so happy at her, Natalie,
(09:07):
honestly because I just felt like, sorry, guys, spoiler alert
here if you guys haven't watched the show, but go
watch it. You'll see what I'm talking about. But Natalie,
I love. She's such a genuine person too, I feel,
I mean, from what I could see. But yeah, Deep
D was awesome. And now that we're talking about Mallory,
so let me take a deep breath, guys, she really
(09:28):
upset me at the end. Okay, I'm not I'm not
talking crap about nobody. It's just once you see the show,
it just but you know what, I respect your decision
like lack in, but I just felt like you guys
did have a connection in the pod. You guys were
like vibing and you could tell like how her eyes
would just light up when you know, you guys would
talk and then I don't know what the heck happened.
(09:49):
What do you think happened? Honestly, He's like, there was
stuff that did happen off camera. We we we were
just not seeing eye together. And I take very seriously,
like when somebody hears hears me out well, and when
I do want us to listen to you and to
repeat what you are saying to me so that you
(10:12):
know that I am listening to You're good guy. Sorry, okay, sorry.
Communication is so important to me. That's how I'm like,
it's true to everybody. It should be that it's the
kindest and most considerate thing you could do for somebody
is sincerely listened to them actively and show them that
you are with your body with everything you know. And uh,
(10:34):
I looked out for that, I really do. And I
felt that when we were having discussions and arguments, I
found that we would have to have them multiple times,
and I would start getting frustrated and unheard and I
would just be like, are you I would tell her, like,
are you seriously asking me this again? Do you want
me to explain myself again and discuss what I just
(10:54):
explained like two minutes ago? Like it was just it
was frustrating and yeah, because sometimes I think what we
tend to do and I've learned this the hard way
in relationships is we listen to react and not listen
to understand. And when you're in a relationship trying to
make something work, you need to really give that person
your undivided attention and really show them I'm getting it,
(11:17):
and if I don't understand, I'm gonna ask you. But
sometimes it's like I want to listen to just like
bark back at you, you know what I mean, And well, yeah,
that's what I was gonna ask you, because I'm sure
a lot of things did happen off camera that we
weren't able to see, because you were pretty firm in
your decision, Like I felt like it was like, from
one moment to another, like you were really into it.
And then I was like, something must have happened behind
(11:38):
the cameras because you just completely were like I'm not
feeling this at all anymore. And I was really surprised
at the altar with your with your response, but I
was also very proud. I was also very happy because
I just felt like, as a woman, you're watching and
I'm like, I don't think she's the one I didn't
feel it. I was like, I don't think she's ready.
(12:00):
I think she wants to be ready and she's in
love with the idea of being in love, but I
don't know if she's absolutely ready. That's just my personal opinion. Guys,
everyone that's listening, like, I'm not talking bad about Mary.
I think we all have our process and we have
to respect that. But from what I got, I was like,
I don't know if they're on the same frequency, you
(12:21):
know what I mean? Yeah, No, I totally understand and
hear what you're saying. And there were things that continue
to happen off of the actual our actual storyline where
I was just like, I wanted to be sincere to
the experience case. I'm gonna be completely up with you.
I wanted to still give it a shot because I'm like,
you know what, maybe I could have a change of heart,
(12:42):
Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm there at the altar.
And that's why I didn't want to decide until I
was there, Like I made a decision, I promised myself.
I was like, for this last week, I don't want
anybody to know my decision because I haven't made it,
yet I want to decide it there at the altar,
and so I stuck to that. I didn't even tell
my family. My family was worried. They were just like,
(13:05):
what is he gonna say on the day of the wedding?
No way, that was my question, like I did. So
no one knew, You're not even your sisters, no one knew. Yeah,
and they even on the day of like you'll see
it if you watch it. My all of my siblings
were holding hands like at the at my wedding because
they just had no idea if I was actually going
to say yes or if I was gonna say no.
(13:27):
You know, but man, but regardless, like they were just
being very supportive of me. And Malory was not my person. No,
she wasn't, and she lost a good guy in my
personal opinion, you know me and my opinions. But okay,
so do you feel comfortable talking about why when you
got to the altar you said no, like besides the
communication stuff or you just weren't. You don't have to
(13:48):
give us details, but just you know, I'm wondering there
was one moment that I knew, like, okay, as far
as I'm concerned right now, this is what my answer
is going to be. But I'm going to continue going
on this journey with you. But this is what I
already know. I'm gonna say, this is what I feel
I'm leaning towards already, but I'm gonna still give us
(14:10):
a shot. I don't know if I can say what happened,
because that's going to come out later. Oh I see, Okay, Yeah,
I don't know, don't worry. Probably wouldn't like that. You're
gonna give me an exclusive out here, so they're gonna
be I'll be watching that. It revolved around just like
this is what happens in relationships. I feel like it's
(14:32):
nobody's fault. I feel like at the end of the day,
we're just trying to make it work between us. We're
trying to see if we can have a good relationship
between two people, and it takes two to do that.
I'm sure that I had some things that maybe about
Mallory was looking for that I didn't provide for her.
But I'm just voicing the things that I felt weren't
there for me, And a lot of that was just
(14:52):
the repetitive arguments that we kept having um and just
like the lack of communication and connection that we kept
feeling and it was just we all have our work
to do ticks, like we all have our trounic that
we have to go through that we have to process.
I it didn't work, and it didn't work for us,
and there was there was things that got in the way,
(15:13):
both on both sides that we just I can't blame
her for it because I've also been through stuff like
that before. You know, like I have gotten an upset
about things, and I'm talking about like previous relationships too,
Like I've messed up. I know what it is to
gas light people, and I've done that before to my girlfriends.
I'll be very sincere about that because I was I
used to be insecure about myself and I used to
(15:34):
have work that I needed to do. But I I
went to therapy and I did my work. I became
more aware of like the emotions I was feeling because
I knew that I couldn't love somebody. I couldn't love
somebody because I didn't love myself. See, and that's when
you know that you have healed that or you're on
that path of healing. Because I think it's it's a
(15:55):
lifetime thing, you know what I mean, like re evolved
and we grow and we change. But the fact that
you can sit here and admit, hey, I used to
do this. These were my toxic traits. And I feel
like you're supposed to learn from every relationship and grow
from it and say, Okay, what am I going to
do different in my next relationship? Not just blame the
other person all the time, but also say hey, yes,
(16:17):
I can also do certain things differently. So that's that's
awesome of you. Before we move on, I'm very curious,
what is your sign? Yes? Yes, I uh? I am
in ferries with a Leo rising ana Taurus moon. Okay, perfect, Okay, Well,
(16:44):
my brother Johnny is really good at like all the
chart stuff. The thing is is that you're super connected
with your feelings and I like that. I think that
that was awesome because you were on television and you
didn't care. You're like, You're like, I'm here to experience
this and I'm not gonna put up a front like, um, homeboy,
did what deep? This guy? What's his name? Don't even
Oh my god, shape yes do shake. I could not
(17:07):
with with my life with him. I'm just like shake,
just chill out like I think he kind of tried,
but it's just there's no way. But you, on the
other hand, we're very connected to like your emotions, and
you had no problem with shedding a tear two if
need be. And that's not something that we see a lot,
especially in our culture, you know. I I wish that
(17:28):
it wasn't such a rare thing. I wish that it
was just a human thing for for men to accept
because we wear so much armor around that. And I
get emotional talking about this because even after the show,
one of my cousins that we don't really spend a
lot of time together, we didn't really get to know
each other a lot, but he reached out to me
(17:49):
after the show and he was like, cousin, like, I
don't I never met you man, Like, I never felt
like I got to know you that way. But just
seeing you and seeing you get emotional like that on
screen and not carrying like it was it was very gosh,
I'm so sorry. No, you're fine, or those you're ex
hitting you up? Have your ex growfriend hit you up?
(18:13):
You know they probably did. Uh, I've got a few
more messages than usual. I bet you've got a lot
of girls sliding your d ms. Boy, they're all beautiful
and I'll eventually get positive messages. That's all. That's all good, good,
(18:39):
But no, Yeah, it just just knowing that I reached
at least one man or a few men that that
felt like they couldn't express that side of themselves, then
mission accomplished. Honestly, chickies, But I really feel like that
needs to be more of a more normalized and it
shouldn't be a rare thing. And I think that men's
(18:59):
specifically need to be the ones to show that we've
heard it enough from everyone else. I feel like men
need to step up and and show that vulnerability on screen.
Men who have platforms me to show that because because
guys are depressed, men are depressed, and it's a there's
a lot of suicide with with with men. You like
that that they feel lonely, they feel lost, and it's
(19:21):
because if you don't have that sensitivity and you don't
take off that armor, you lack all connections with people. Yeah,
for sure, and you build up this tension you know
what I mean, within you and you're not releasing. You
need to release, like I always say, like I'll cry,
like I'm a crier, and I just feel like it
just cleanses my soul and I feel so much better afterwards.
Imagine men in our culture that we're like and you're
(19:44):
not supposed to cry, and you've gotta be a macho
and this and that. It's like, dude, like, do you
understand what you're doing to these to these men, like
you're not allowing them to express themselves, and what happens
It turns into depression, anxiety, anger. And this is why
I think it was great that you, being like the
age that you are, being Latino, being on this on
this very famous show, Love his Mind, that you were
(20:06):
able to just say, hey, like I'm connected with my Like,
there's nothing wrong with that. Like I just like if
anything that made you sexier, that made you like more attractive.
I feel for women, I think that that's like I'm like, damn,
Like that's beautiful. I'm sure a lot of women feel
like that. So that's why I wanted to ask you,
because I'm like, I'm glad that you're saying it. I
think it should be more normalized for sure. So all guys,
you heard it here first. Crying, Yes, crying is sexy, Okay,
(20:32):
it makes a girl horny and I'm just skardy. Sorry sorry, okay,
So anyway, but to kind of wrap that whole thing up, though,
like I just want to say, like I even heard,
because I like, I love listening to podcasts that talk
about that too, and I'm so glad that you're this
up to Chicky's. There's a really good one, um, I
(20:53):
followed Justin Baldoni, the one from Jane the Virgin, and
he talks about literal tears like they're stress hormone in
your tears when you ride. There are literally stress hormones
in your tears. There it is. That's freaking awesome. I'm
gonna listen to it because I've always felt that. I'm like,
it's a way of releasing toxins from your body, like
you haven't built up in your chest. And for so
(21:16):
long I would have just hold it in, and I
was in a really bad relationship and I hold it in.
I'm like, I don't want to cry. I don't know
because then he doesn't, like, you know, whatever, it made
the case maybe, but then I would just go outside
and just yell and cry, and I feel like, oh
I feel better now, And then now I know it's
like it's releasing hormones. That's crazy, that's awesome, that is
so cool. Thank you for sharing that. See I was right.
(21:38):
I was right. So tell me do you feel that
love is Blind taught you or made you really realize
what you want and don't want in your wife? You know?
I do feel very lucky to have been a part
of such an experience because if you're looking at it
from a numbers perspective, like there's only been the thirty
(21:58):
of us that went through it of this season and
then the thirty others that went through it on the
first season, and to just think about it in that way,
like and going through the process because there was the pods.
I think the pods were really the place where I
felt that I grew and I I had never gone
so in depth as far as like what's the want
(22:20):
for me and what's the need in my partner? You know,
like what is important to me? What do I need
to talk about as far as finances goes as kids go? Um,
what are we going to teach our kids? You know?
Like do I want kids? You know? And so I
gave so much thought to all of this throughout the
whole process that now I just feel like dating is
so much easier because I'm so much more open and
(22:43):
ready to ask those questions. It was kind of like
a no bullshit, a no bullshit experience. It It taught
you had to spot all of it and just rip
all of that out and just get down to the
nitty gritty, you know what I mean for sure? I
mean I really believe like I was, like, if I
were single and if I could be on a show
(23:06):
like that, I probably would because I think, like you said,
like You're going to learn so much about yourself during
this time and about just humans in general. And I
was very curious too, because I know you had that
collection with Mallory with mel But did you did you
when you saw her? Like did you really you were
in those pots thinking I don't care what this person
looks like, I really don't care, Like you were just
(23:28):
completely engrossed in getting to know that person from her heart,
like in her mind, and when you saw her in person,
did you did it change? Like did you feel like,
oh she's beautiful? Or did you did anything change? No?
When I saw her in person, you know, well, leading
up to the whole thing, like I I was not
worried at all. In fact, I wanted to stay true
(23:48):
to the experience. There were some other people that were
like kind of getting hints about how the person looked,
but I didn't want any of that at all. I
just I was I just wanted to be surprised. So
when I first saw her, there was so much that
I had to process. I feel like my body was
reacting to to Mallory too, and I was just like,
(24:10):
oh my god, I'm trying to soak this person up
and and try to put it was so interesting to
see her mouth and move and hear her voice come
out of her, and I was just like it was
like shock, nerves, excitement, you know. And I'm sure that
she was going through the same thing. But it was
(24:30):
just kind of like, Okay, now let's build up our
physical relationship. It was like another step. Yeah, And but
she's she's extremely beautiful, and I was super excited to
get to know her, and and I knew that no,
no matter what, that we were just gonna that it
was just the next step. Like you said, like the
physical was just going to be the next step. So yeah,
(24:53):
that little like like a level of like to add
to the excitement, you know, what I mean because yeah,
I think she's beautiful. I think she's very attractive, very
attractive girl. I love the way she dresses her hair
and everything. Somebody won't eat that. Um. And you know
at the reunion, I wat your reunion, right, I'm a fan, guys.
I was your reunion and I was very freaking like
I was like like this, literally, I was sitting on
(25:15):
the couch and I started like clapping when you when
you came out, and you just were very straightforward because
you're very like respectful type of guy and you were
very respectful. But like I was like, damn, he has
like a backbone. He is not here to funk around.
He's here to get answers. And I thought that was
really like it puts you like on another level again
(25:36):
because I'm like, dude, he's a sensitive guy. He's in
tune with his emotions, but then he can also like
stand his own. So I wanted to like tell you
that because I thought that was a really beautiful moment
and how you connected with deep T and you were
just defended her there. I was like, oh heck, yeah.
I was like that's amazing, Oh my gosh, And like
they I probably shouldn't say this, but they did make
(25:59):
Shake look better her than than what what he actually was.
No way I was going to ask. Yeah, he was
a total douche. Dude, he was a douche. And I
because I love Deep t I truly do. She's she's
such a good person inside and out. I feel. I
even told her after everything was over, I'm like, Deep,
you are literally going to be the queen of everything
(26:21):
when you when all of this ends, because of how
bad this person was too and because you're such a
good person, the fact that he was so bad to
you is just gonna you're your Yeah, definitely. And she
sat there so poised and just wasn't she just like,
I'm going to sit here in my dress and look
(26:41):
cute and go ahead, you look like an idiot. So
I just loved it to the to the end. She
just kept her class, and I'm like, she's going to
get a good man out of this. I hope she does,
because I kill I know he needs some serious I
don't know what, but so sal tell us what comes
after love is blind? After love is blind? I just
(27:03):
I'm thinking to myself, I want a date. I wanna
open up that door and and and no longer do apps.
I feel like it's important for me maybe to set
up a date or two whatever, um, but it's more
authentic to me to meet somebody in personnel. That's how
I am going into this. And honestly, like when I
(27:24):
when I did go on dates after the show, it
was more so with like better questions. I just I
was so interested in the person because it was just like, hey,
let's let's figure this out. Let's see if we actually
want this. It was so much more easier for me
to build rapport with somebody because I so like I
was just a d pent in as far as like,
let's figure this out, let's day, let's have fun, you know,
(27:46):
let's let's ask the meaningful questions if that's where we
want to want this to go and just be revolve
around honesty, you know, and and good communication and if
it's if it's casual with somebody, like it's whatever, it's casually,
you know, but you community had it and you can
well and it's all consensual. And I feel and I
feel like, there's, uh, it's really important to have that.
(28:07):
I guess if I could summarize it at all, what
I learned the most coming out of this experience is
how to create a safe space for the women in
my life. Guys. Oh my gosh, dude, that's awesome. I'm
your fan, Dude, I'm fed. I want all the guys
that to listen to this, and it's probably like mainly women,
but they're probably gonna be like trying to find you.
(28:29):
But dude, like, yes, yes, you remind me a lot
of my boyfriend. The way that you speak and the
way that you express yourself and you're connected, like he
goes to therapy, Like he's all about making me feel
safe and I never had that and he's twenty nine, okay,
so like I know that there are good guys out
there and he's just it's like when you're ready and
you know what you want in life and you've gone
(28:50):
through things and you do what you gotta do, like therapy, life, coaching, mentorship,
whatever it is, it really does help you, guys. It
helps the healing process and like sell, So that's awesome
and the bar is so low for men. It really
is like if you go to therapy, like they will
(29:13):
make a parade for you, like good for you, the
word you know, and it's it's interesting. I feel also
coming out of this is just understanding like the fact
that you can only only love somebody as much as
you love yourself, and I feel like that became more
evident to me too, and just letting someone in that
(29:33):
deeply is hard if you if you haven't done that
work for yourself, you know, that's where insecurities come in,
because you just haven't done that work. Definitely, you just
haven't done it, and no one can do it for you.
No one can. That's a choice that you have to make.
And whether it's for the person that's in your life
now or the person that's going to come, it's like,
if you don't do that work, they're just those things
(29:56):
are just going to come back and hunt you in
every single relationships. It's like it's an your choice. You
gotta really get in there and do the work. Guys.
I mean we all have them. I have, you know
what you call those those demons from my past from
my childhood that I have to constantly go to therapy
and make sure I keep them in place and I
keep them suppressed and I just keep growing mentally, emotionally
(30:19):
and in every way. So it's it's not like, oh,
you go to therapy. I'm bad, I need help. I'm broken. No,
like I think we all are kind of a little
bit broken. We need to be kind of like put
back together. It's life. It brings us closer together. And
when you when you understand that that we're all going
through something. But yes, like you said, it's so good
(30:42):
to see that you're not jaded. You know what I mean.
You're still open, you're still willing, You're still like you know,
because but you were there for all the right reasons.
So I think that's why you have, like I said earlier,
very good head on your shoulders. I can tell from
the like since I watched the show. So it's so
nice to be able to speak to you and you know,
talk about all these things. Now that we're kind of
(31:08):
like talking, what about we do some singing? Won't you
sing for us? Was not ready for it, Like I
wasn't prepared for this. I don't even know what I
would begin to sing. I am saying just anything anything
like a little maybe you even sing on the on
(31:30):
the show. Oh you know, let me see what a
terrible Joe. You're so cute. Thank you so much, Yeah,
(31:59):
thank you, thank you sleeper doing that. Okay, So how
about now we move on to like a Q and name?
Are you game for that or what I'm getting? Yeah?
Like little fire questions will some some So here we go.
Who is your favorite cast member on the show? My
favorite cast member on the show is, honestly, I have
(32:20):
to say Danielle. Yeah, she's a sweetheart. Danielle is such
a sweetheart, I even all off camera and everything, Like,
I know she's gone through a lot, and I know
that she she got some heat for being like, um
so vulnerable on camera, you know, but I feel like
I feel like inside she she's she's very real and
(32:42):
she's solid. Yeah, she's she's a great and her and
deep tea. Yes. Okay, So who is your least favorite
cast member? Do I even have to say? I know,
shake fucking yeah, you know, like and look, I'm not
going to talk bad, but I feel like this goes
(33:04):
for everybody like you. You have to you have to
develop your empathy. You have to develop your empathy for
people and know that what you say have consequences. That's
That's all I'm gonna say. What's one thing you think
the show got wrong about you? Um? I don't sing
all the time. I think for myself a little bit,
(33:31):
you know, but I think that's one thing they got
wrong about me. But you know, I pulled out my
youth once and after that it was just like forget it,
like we need more youth, we need more youth. That
was production how they're like, do it more and more.
I know how reality is, so it's probably yeah, I
(33:51):
get it. Okay, So how has the show changed your
perception on dating? You know, if I could summarize it
like we were saying earlier, chicky, is they really helped
me just check on the women in my life and
going in with that same energy, checking in the women
in my life, making sure that they feel safe around me,
and going into days in that same way, you know,
(34:13):
and above everything, make friends first. Be friends with these girls, like,
show a genuine interest in them. That's what I got
out of it the most. I want to be a
friend to women in my life first. It's not about
it's not all physical, it's not about all about attraction absolutely, Okay. Um,
have there been any cons to being on the show.
(34:38):
It's kind of it's kind of hard to put yourself
out there. It's not really a con though, it's just
kind of you if it could be if you let
it get to you, you know. But I feel like
if you lean into yourself and realize that that's your
only way to get through this is just to rely
on yourself and be sure of everything about that is you,
(35:00):
then then you'll you'll be fine. But it's being a private,
private person like I am. It was hard for me
to do that, so um, but not exactly a con Okay,
So here's an interesting question. So do you think you're
still ready for marriage? M m oh man. You know,
(35:22):
I don't think I am. I was so mentally prepared
in that experience, and it was just like alright, go go, go, go, go,
like yes, proposal, yes, all right, let's go, let's make
this work. And it wasn't. There wasn't enough time for
me to just kind of pause and think. And I
feel like what really influenced that too, was the fact
that we can't talk to our families when we're in
(35:44):
these pods, you know, so bounce these ideas off of anybody.
It's just you. So it's like, which is fine, Like
it's all you need, you know, at the end of
the day. But it was but you're not scared of marriage, right, Yeah,
I'm not of like companionship, being with somebody and putting
in the work, you know, and being committed in monogamous
(36:05):
and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, being committed monogamous is
I think if you're with the right person, can be
very very rewarding. For sure, it comes easy. I feel
like when you're with that person and you you have
like a friendship with them as well, it just comes easy.
It's like, I love this person, I care about this
person so much. It's like you don't even think about
other people, about cheating, you know what I mean? Yeah,
(36:28):
you kind of. I mean, don't get me wrong. Your
your partner will notice another person, you know, like you
will notice people you know, but at the same time,
like you know that you're in this together and you
know what the consequences would be if you did go
with someone else. And at the end of the day,
it's just poor communication, Like you're not feeling somebody like
(36:50):
tell them, even if it doesn't mean a breakup. Yeah,
it's better to be honest, you know, A the truth
goes a long way. So moving on to foods a
little bit, you know, water burger or in and out
in out. Yeah right, I want something and out so bad.
I love water Burger because they have like a lot
(37:11):
of options. But then again, like I don't really like
options I like, but just the taste. I would go
within an out. So I agree with you on that one.
I was just gonna say that I like water Burger.
The fries are are what's the word over over overrated, overrated, overrated.
As far as drinks go, tequila or vodka? Oh, tequila? Right? Okay?
(37:36):
Tequila or beer? Tequila? Okay? Nice? Yeah, I like tequila
neat just like you know, throw it back lime, a
little salt perfected on the rocks or blended on the rocks.
(37:58):
Yeah right, I think it's yeah, the rocks is nice. Okay, okay,
so alrighty okay. So would you ever go on a
show like Love Is Blind Again? I think I would.
I yeah, I would go on a show like Love
Is Blind Again. It was Ah, it's uncomfortable, but I
(38:20):
feel like you grow in those uncomfortable situations. So for
that reason alone, hell yeah, I would do it again.
That's awesome. I love that. I love that. So what's next? Um,
I just got a new job and I'm working remotely
so I'm focused on that, and I'm focused on my
my platform and understanding the responsibility that comes with that,
(38:43):
you know. And I want to spread some awareness for
men who might feel alone or who feel like they
can't open up their heart and feel those emotions. You know.
So I just sorry, that's my dryer. It's okay, it's okay,
you wash this us two guys or lady? Should I say?
(39:04):
That's awesome? But yeah, that's next for me, just making
sure that my platform is a safe space for everybody
on there and that they could take something and learn
something from the from there, you know. And I want
to focus on providing resources for good resources that have
helped me in my past, like whether it's platforms, podcasts,
(39:25):
and yeah, that's really what I'm focused on next. And
just staying positive and and making people in my life
are prioritized and safe. That's awesome. And you know what,
I can see you doing that. I can see you
doing a podcast and talking about everything that we've talked
about here. I've learned so much and it's just so
like like I said, it's a it's a breath of
fresh air to see that there are good men out
(39:46):
there and smart men that do their own laundry, you guys,
that's awesome and drink tequila and seeing damn it do well.
Thank you so much. Honestly, sal I am. I'm excited.
You are for sure one of my favorites on the show,
(40:06):
and I really connected with you, and thank you. I'm
so glad that you took the time to talk to
me and come on my podcast. Thank you, thank you,
thank you much, and I wish you the best, and
thank you for talking about these topics. It's so important. Absolutely,
we've got to spread awareness and knowledge to our people,
you know. So that's why I decided to have my
(40:26):
own podcast, and it's it's great to have people like
you on and share your your your socials. Please for
everyone that's listening. Oh sure, you can find me on
Instagram at Salvadior zero eight and you could find me
on TikTok under that same user name. Um. What other
social do I have? Do you have? Twitter? Facebook? My Space?
(40:48):
My Space? What does my space? You got my Space? No?
I don't have. I don't think I have anything else
can yet? When no worries, you guys can find them
there these and gentlemen, men that want some advice, okay
that are ready to step up their game, and ladies,
um if you just want to tell him nice things
and stuff, you know. And as for me, as usual,
(41:15):
you guys, I always leave you with a motivational quote,
and I have one for you. Let me go ahead
and read it listens a little longer. But love is
such a powerful force. It's there for everyone to embrace,
that kind of unconditional love for all of humankind. That
is the kind of love that impels people to go
(41:36):
into the community and try to change conditions, for others
to take risks for what they believe in. That's one.
And then love has nothing to do with what you
are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting
to give, which is everything. Hopefully those quotes get to
your guys heart again. I hope you learned a little
(41:57):
bit about love and men and women and just offen
experiences and experiments and all that great stuff. I love
you by. This is a production of I Heart Radio
and Mildura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michelda
Podcasts and follow me Chickys That's c h I q
(42:20):
U I s. For more podcasts from My Heart, visit
the I heart radio, app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
What made you say yes to the show. When I
stumbled upon this opportunity, I was like, this is something
where they're filtering out so many people, such an intense process.
Who is your favorite cast member on the show. My
favorite cast member on the show is have your ex broken?
Titchu up? You know they probably did. Uh. I've got
(00:28):
a few more messages than you. I bet you've got
a lot of girls slid from your Dan's boy. Hi. Everyone,
I'm so happy to have you here with me today.
As always, thank you so much for joining me. I'm
your host Cheeky's and today is going to be a
pretty exciting episode. That's because today's guest is a cast
(00:50):
member from the popular Netflix reality show Love Is Blind. Guys,
I've watched the entire show and I've enjoyed every single
minute of it. I'm not even joking. So I'm super
excited to talk to today's guest about a bunch of
different topics. So let's get right into it. This is
cheek Ease and Chill. Alright, So it's promised. I'm sitting
(01:19):
here with the one and only sell the Door Perez.
You know him as Seal, and as I mentioned earlier,
he is a start on the reality show Love Is
Blind season two. If you guys haven't seen it yet,
you guys can binge the entire season on Netflix now,
and I'm telling you it's a must watch. So sal
welcome to the show. How are you? Thank you? I
(01:40):
am really there. You know, it's been a little bit
different since the show ended. But I'm great, I'm great,
and I yeah, I'm excited to be here. Thank you
so much. I'm so excited to talk to you. And okay,
now let let me let's just get right into it.
You said that it's been a little different since, like
the show ended. Why in what way? Well, just for
off the bat, I'm such a private person, like to
(02:02):
begin with, so just seeing people like giving me such
so much support and being stopped like in random situations
in my life has been an adjustment. But you know,
people are so nice here and they're so considerate. They're like,
is this okay? Can I can I talk to you
a little man? How cute? Where do you live? I
live in a wicker Park in Chicago, Illinois. Oh nice, Okay,
(02:26):
I heard somewhere. You're from El Paso? Is that correct? Yes,
that's always home for me. El Paso, Texas. I was
not born there, but I was raised there so since
I was two years old, and then eventually made them
move over to Chicago. Okay, so let's get into love
is Blind. So you say that you're a very you know,
a reserved or private person. What made you say yes
(02:49):
to the show, to this experiment? Because you're you're in
your early thirties, right, So what made you feel like, Okay,
I'm gonna take the sleep of faith? You know, originally
I I thought it would be really fun to try it.
To be completely honest, I was tired of the apps.
I had no real luck there. I feel like I
got a lot of judgment on those apps when I
(03:09):
was on there. And you know, it's so easy to
swipe on somebody if if whatever, if they have just
not the right picture or something like that, then it's
easy to just like, all right, next person, you know
what I mean. So when I stumbled upon this opportunity,
I was like, okay, I mean, this is something where
they're filtering out so many people. This is such an
(03:31):
intense process. It's backed by research, it's backed by people
who are like, this is supposed to work. I don't
know how much I could say, but there were so
many questions I had to answer before actually being accepted
into this. So just right off the bat, I was like,
all right, if all of these people are going through this,
I want to see if this actually works. So I
was like, I'm going to step out of my comfort
(03:52):
zone a little bit. And you know, even though I
am more of a private person, I was just like,
I want to put it out there. Let's see this
could be an opportunity for growth. Then maybe I end
up marrying at the end of it. Well that's good though.
You're open. You're open to the idea. And did you
really feel like, okay, if I meet that girl, like
I'm ready to get married, like you're ready to take
that step. I definitely felt like I was ready to
(04:14):
find my person absolutely, yeah. Yeah, But it was I
had to go into it with an open mind and
open heart and be just very open to the experience.
You know, I knew that going I was just like,
I'm just gonna go hard, I'm gonna be emotional, I'm
gonna be vulnerable, I'm gonna be open with these people
and just put my heart on the line. And that's
exactly what I did, so you did, and I loved you.
(04:37):
I was like, well, I'm like, honestly, I watched it,
like I got stuck on the show, and you really
stood out to me because of that. I was like,
he looks like a genuine person, Like he is in
touch with his emotions, he's very honest, he knows what
he wants because you're very young, and usually men like
aren't ready you know, quote unquote, like until they're like
their mid thirties, late thirties. But like, I think because
(04:59):
of your family, and I'm telling I feel like I
know you right, but I feel like I met your
sisters on the show. And then I'm like, he comes
from a good traditional family, it looks like, and he
has a good head on his shoulders. So I was like, dude,
if this girl gets your ship together, Mallory, okay, this
is my show, obviously, whatever I want, guys, Okay. So
I was like, if she gets her ship together, she's
gonna take a really good man. And then we'll talk
(05:21):
about that a little later. But that's just my take
from the show. So I admire that that you took
that leap of faith and you were open to that
experience and that experiment because I'm sure it was scary.
I'm pretty sure it was, but I think it's so
badass because I was very interested. I'm like, yeah, like
this is another way, a more genuine fear way to
(05:41):
meet someone. Yeah, and it thinks I feel like there
you get frozen into indecision when you have too many choices,
and I feel like that's what these apps today are
geared towards. It's just giving you so many you know,
and you never take the time to get to know
somebody sincerely, you know. And then so this experience was
so intense, cheeky, like it was just that was our
(06:04):
job seven. You know. It's just like finding the person
that you connect with that you want to spend the
rest of your life with. And when you put that
much pressure on one task, like you could really get
far in that in that goal, you know, you could
really just because that's your main focus. Yeah. Yeah, And
it was was it for two weeks that you guys
were in the pods? Um, technically it was like ten
(06:28):
days of pod dating. The whole experience I think took
about three weeks, just because we would take breaks or
we weren't like going into the pods every day. Yeah,
I kind of figured and that was like one of
my questions because I mean, I come from like reality TV,
so I just know that even when they would do
like the edits or like they would cut certain things,
I'm like, oh my god, they're just creating drama. Then
(06:49):
you watch it and then you're like, Okay, it wasn't
that bad, you know, But because I know how it works,
I was a wondering. I'm like, I wonder if they
were there straight for two weeks or did they take
like you said, breaks in between. Um, you know, it's television, guys,
it's television. Certain magic has to happen dates. But don't
get me wrong, Like some days it was harder to
go on those dates because sometimes like my longest date
(07:11):
was maybe two and a half hours, three hours inside
of a pod with oh yeah, and you you just
sit there and it's okay to be bored with your person,
you know, Like, but we would just sitting there and talk,
we just hang out. And sometimes these didn't make it
on there. Like on some other dates, I would pass
out a little bit. I was gonna ask, I think,
(07:35):
did you ever take naps? Dude? Yeah? They give you
really comfortable love his blind blankets, and so I was nice.
Well I remember one time, but I won't say who
I was on the date with, but yeah, I came
a little bit. And then you wake up and you're like, oh, Dane, yeah, yeah,
you're so respectful. That's so nice of you not to
(07:56):
say who it was, because you've had two connections, right too,
strong connections, am I am? I correct? You know for me,
I had I had three. There were actually deep to
and I really did connect pretty closely towards the end
of it, but then we fizzled out at the end
when we were like top three people, Um, we have
pettled out by then. But towards the end, I was
(08:21):
pretty set on Mallory, like it was just like Mallory
or nobody. And the other two people that were in
my top three understood that. I think they felt it
was just like people talk, you know. I was talking
to the guys and the girls were talking to the girls,
you know, and so we kind of get around. Yeah,
and it got around, and and we never Mallory and
I were never territorial about each other. It was just
(08:43):
kind of like we understood that, hey, we have a
strong connection here. And we're having fun with each other
and that's it, you know, like there was no real
poeticition for that, you know. So yeah, another one of
my favorites is Deep Deep. I felt like she was
just a very genuine, great person and I was so
proud of her decision to be honest, I was like,
oh my god, I was so happy at her, Natalie,
(09:07):
honestly because I just felt like, sorry, guys, spoiler alert
here if you guys haven't watched the show, but go
watch it. You'll see what I'm talking about. But Natalie,
I love. She's such a genuine person too, I feel,
I mean, from what I could see. But yeah, Deep
D was awesome. And now that we're talking about Mallory,
so let me take a deep breath, guys, she really
(09:28):
upset me at the end. Okay, I'm not I'm not
talking crap about nobody. It's just once you see the show,
it just but you know what, I respect your decision
like lack in, but I just felt like you guys
did have a connection in the pod. You guys were
like vibing and you could tell like how her eyes
would just light up when you know, you guys would
talk and then I don't know what the heck happened.
(09:49):
What do you think happened? Honestly, He's like, there was
stuff that did happen off camera. We we we were
just not seeing eye together. And I take very seriously,
like when somebody hears hears me out well, and when
I do want us to listen to you and to
repeat what you are saying to me so that you
(10:12):
know that I am listening to You're good guy. Sorry, okay, sorry.
Communication is so important to me. That's how I'm like,
it's true to everybody. It should be that it's the
kindest and most considerate thing you could do for somebody
is sincerely listened to them actively and show them that
you are with your body with everything you know. And uh,
(10:34):
I looked out for that, I really do. And I
felt that when we were having discussions and arguments, I
found that we would have to have them multiple times,
and I would start getting frustrated and unheard and I
would just be like, are you I would tell her, like,
are you seriously asking me this again? Do you want
me to explain myself again and discuss what I just
(10:54):
explained like two minutes ago? Like it was just it
was frustrating and yeah, because sometimes I think what we
tend to do and I've learned this the hard way
in relationships is we listen to react and not listen
to understand. And when you're in a relationship trying to
make something work, you need to really give that person
your undivided attention and really show them I'm getting it,
(11:17):
and if I don't understand, I'm gonna ask you. But
sometimes it's like I want to listen to just like
bark back at you, you know what I mean, And well, yeah,
that's what I was gonna ask you, because I'm sure
a lot of things did happen off camera that we
weren't able to see, because you were pretty firm in
your decision, Like I felt like it was like, from
one moment to another, like you were really into it.
And then I was like, something must have happened behind
(11:38):
the cameras because you just completely were like I'm not
feeling this at all anymore. And I was really surprised
at the altar with your with your response, but I
was also very proud. I was also very happy because
I just felt like, as a woman, you're watching and
I'm like, I don't think she's the one I didn't
feel it. I was like, I don't think she's ready.
(12:00):
I think she wants to be ready and she's in
love with the idea of being in love, but I
don't know if she's absolutely ready. That's just my personal opinion. Guys,
everyone that's listening, like, I'm not talking bad about Mary.
I think we all have our process and we have
to respect that. But from what I got, I was like,
I don't know if they're on the same frequency, you
(12:21):
know what I mean? Yeah, No, I totally understand and
hear what you're saying. And there were things that continue
to happen off of the actual our actual storyline where
I was just like, I wanted to be sincere to
the experience case. I'm gonna be completely up with you.
I wanted to still give it a shot because I'm like,
you know what, maybe I could have a change of heart,
(12:42):
Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm there at the altar.
And that's why I didn't want to decide until I
was there, Like I made a decision, I promised myself.
I was like, for this last week, I don't want
anybody to know my decision because I haven't made it,
yet I want to decide it there at the altar,
and so I stuck to that. I didn't even tell
my family. My family was worried. They were just like,
(13:05):
what is he gonna say on the day of the wedding?
No way, that was my question, like I did. So
no one knew, You're not even your sisters, no one knew. Yeah,
and they even on the day of like you'll see
it if you watch it. My all of my siblings
were holding hands like at the at my wedding because
they just had no idea if I was actually going
to say yes or if I was gonna say no.
(13:27):
You know, but man, but regardless, like they were just
being very supportive of me. And Malory was not my person. No,
she wasn't, and she lost a good guy in my
personal opinion, you know me and my opinions. But okay,
so do you feel comfortable talking about why when you
got to the altar you said no, like besides the
communication stuff or you just weren't. You don't have to
(13:48):
give us details, but just you know, I'm wondering there
was one moment that I knew, like, okay, as far
as I'm concerned right now, this is what my answer
is going to be. But I'm going to continue going
on this journey with you. But this is what I
already know. I'm gonna say, this is what I feel
I'm leaning towards already, but I'm gonna still give us
(14:10):
a shot. I don't know if I can say what happened,
because that's going to come out later. Oh I see, Okay, Yeah,
I don't know, don't worry. Probably wouldn't like that. You're
gonna give me an exclusive out here, so they're gonna
be I'll be watching that. It revolved around just like
this is what happens in relationships. I feel like it's
(14:32):
nobody's fault. I feel like at the end of the day,
we're just trying to make it work between us. We're
trying to see if we can have a good relationship
between two people, and it takes two to do that.
I'm sure that I had some things that maybe about
Mallory was looking for that I didn't provide for her.
But I'm just voicing the things that I felt weren't
there for me, And a lot of that was just
(14:52):
the repetitive arguments that we kept having um and just
like the lack of communication and connection that we kept
feeling and it was just we all have our work
to do ticks, like we all have our trounic that
we have to go through that we have to process.
I it didn't work, and it didn't work for us,
and there was there was things that got in the way,
(15:13):
both on both sides that we just I can't blame
her for it because I've also been through stuff like
that before. You know, like I have gotten an upset
about things, and I'm talking about like previous relationships too,
Like I've messed up. I know what it is to
gas light people, and I've done that before to my girlfriends.
I'll be very sincere about that because I was I
used to be insecure about myself and I used to
(15:34):
have work that I needed to do. But I I
went to therapy and I did my work. I became
more aware of like the emotions I was feeling because
I knew that I couldn't love somebody. I couldn't love
somebody because I didn't love myself. See, and that's when
you know that you have healed that or you're on
that path of healing. Because I think it's it's a
(15:55):
lifetime thing, you know what I mean, like re evolved
and we grow and we change. But the fact that
you can sit here and admit, hey, I used to
do this. These were my toxic traits. And I feel
like you're supposed to learn from every relationship and grow
from it and say, Okay, what am I going to
do different in my next relationship? Not just blame the
other person all the time, but also say hey, yes,
(16:17):
I can also do certain things differently. So that's that's
awesome of you. Before we move on, I'm very curious,
what is your sign? Yes? Yes, I uh? I am
in ferries with a Leo rising ana Taurus moon. Okay, perfect, Okay, Well,
(16:44):
my brother Johnny is really good at like all the
chart stuff. The thing is is that you're super connected
with your feelings and I like that. I think that
that was awesome because you were on television and you
didn't care. You're like, You're like, I'm here to experience
this and I'm not gonna put up a front like, um, homeboy,
did what deep? This guy? What's his name? Don't even
Oh my god, shape yes do shake. I could not
(17:07):
with with my life with him. I'm just like shake,
just chill out like I think he kind of tried,
but it's just there's no way. But you, on the
other hand, we're very connected to like your emotions, and
you had no problem with shedding a tear two if
need be. And that's not something that we see a lot,
especially in our culture, you know. I I wish that
(17:28):
it wasn't such a rare thing. I wish that it
was just a human thing for for men to accept
because we wear so much armor around that. And I
get emotional talking about this because even after the show,
one of my cousins that we don't really spend a
lot of time together, we didn't really get to know
each other a lot, but he reached out to me
(17:49):
after the show and he was like, cousin, like, I
don't I never met you man, Like, I never felt
like I got to know you that way. But just
seeing you and seeing you get emotional like that on
screen and not carrying like it was it was very gosh,
I'm so sorry. No, you're fine, or those you're ex
hitting you up? Have your ex growfriend hit you up?
(18:13):
You know they probably did. Uh, I've got a few
more messages than usual. I bet you've got a lot
of girls sliding your d ms. Boy, they're all beautiful
and I'll eventually get positive messages. That's all. That's all good, good,
(18:39):
But no, Yeah, it just just knowing that I reached
at least one man or a few men that that
felt like they couldn't express that side of themselves, then
mission accomplished. Honestly, chickies, But I really feel like that
needs to be more of a more normalized and it
shouldn't be a rare thing. And I think that men's
(18:59):
specifically need to be the ones to show that we've
heard it enough from everyone else. I feel like men
need to step up and and show that vulnerability on screen.
Men who have platforms me to show that because because
guys are depressed, men are depressed, and it's a there's
a lot of suicide with with with men. You like
that that they feel lonely, they feel lost, and it's
(19:21):
because if you don't have that sensitivity and you don't
take off that armor, you lack all connections with people. Yeah,
for sure, and you build up this tension you know
what I mean, within you and you're not releasing. You
need to release, like I always say, like I'll cry,
like I'm a crier, and I just feel like it
just cleanses my soul and I feel so much better afterwards.
Imagine men in our culture that we're like and you're
(19:44):
not supposed to cry, and you've gotta be a macho
and this and that. It's like, dude, like, do you
understand what you're doing to these to these men, like
you're not allowing them to express themselves, and what happens
It turns into depression, anxiety, anger. And this is why
I think it was great that you, being like the
age that you are, being Latino, being on this on
this very famous show, Love his Mind, that you were
(20:06):
able to just say, hey, like I'm connected with my Like,
there's nothing wrong with that. Like I just like if
anything that made you sexier, that made you like more attractive.
I feel for women, I think that that's like I'm like, damn,
Like that's beautiful. I'm sure a lot of women feel
like that. So that's why I wanted to ask you,
because I'm like, I'm glad that you're saying it. I
think it should be more normalized for sure. So all guys,
you heard it here first. Crying, Yes, crying is sexy, Okay,
(20:32):
it makes a girl horny and I'm just skardy. Sorry sorry, okay,
So anyway, but to kind of wrap that whole thing up, though,
like I just want to say, like I even heard,
because I like, I love listening to podcasts that talk
about that too, and I'm so glad that you're this
up to Chicky's. There's a really good one, um, I
(20:53):
followed Justin Baldoni, the one from Jane the Virgin, and
he talks about literal tears like they're stress hormone in
your tears when you ride. There are literally stress hormones
in your tears. There it is. That's freaking awesome. I'm
gonna listen to it because I've always felt that. I'm like,
it's a way of releasing toxins from your body, like
you haven't built up in your chest. And for so
(21:16):
long I would have just hold it in, and I
was in a really bad relationship and I hold it in.
I'm like, I don't want to cry. I don't know
because then he doesn't, like, you know, whatever, it made
the case maybe, but then I would just go outside
and just yell and cry, and I feel like, oh
I feel better now, And then now I know it's
like it's releasing hormones. That's crazy, that's awesome, that is
so cool. Thank you for sharing that. See I was right.
(21:38):
I was right. So tell me do you feel that
love is Blind taught you or made you really realize
what you want and don't want in your wife? You know?
I do feel very lucky to have been a part
of such an experience because if you're looking at it
from a numbers perspective, like there's only been the thirty
(21:58):
of us that went through it of this season and
then the thirty others that went through it on the
first season, and to just think about it in that way,
like and going through the process because there was the pods.
I think the pods were really the place where I
felt that I grew and I I had never gone
so in depth as far as like what's the want
(22:20):
for me and what's the need in my partner? You know,
like what is important to me? What do I need
to talk about as far as finances goes as kids go? Um,
what are we going to teach our kids? You know?
Like do I want kids? You know? And so I
gave so much thought to all of this throughout the
whole process that now I just feel like dating is
so much easier because I'm so much more open and
(22:43):
ready to ask those questions. It was kind of like
a no bullshit, a no bullshit experience. It It taught
you had to spot all of it and just rip
all of that out and just get down to the
nitty gritty, you know what I mean for sure? I
mean I really believe like I was, like, if I
were single and if I could be on a show
(23:06):
like that, I probably would because I think, like you said,
like You're going to learn so much about yourself during
this time and about just humans in general. And I
was very curious too, because I know you had that
collection with Mallory with mel But did you did you
when you saw her? Like did you really you were
in those pots thinking I don't care what this person
looks like, I really don't care, Like you were just
(23:28):
completely engrossed in getting to know that person from her heart,
like in her mind, and when you saw her in person,
did you did it change? Like did you feel like,
oh she's beautiful? Or did you did anything change? No?
When I saw her in person, you know, well, leading
up to the whole thing, like I I was not
worried at all. In fact, I wanted to stay true
(23:48):
to the experience. There were some other people that were
like kind of getting hints about how the person looked,
but I didn't want any of that at all. I
just I was I just wanted to be surprised. So
when I first saw her, there was so much that
I had to process. I feel like my body was
reacting to to Mallory too, and I was just like,
(24:10):
oh my god, I'm trying to soak this person up
and and try to put it was so interesting to
see her mouth and move and hear her voice come
out of her, and I was just like it was
like shock, nerves, excitement, you know. And I'm sure that
she was going through the same thing. But it was
(24:30):
just kind of like, Okay, now let's build up our
physical relationship. It was like another step. Yeah, And but
she's she's extremely beautiful, and I was super excited to
get to know her, and and I knew that no,
no matter what, that we were just gonna that it
was just the next step. Like you said, like the
physical was just going to be the next step. So yeah,
(24:53):
that little like like a level of like to add
to the excitement, you know, what I mean because yeah,
I think she's beautiful. I think she's very attractive, very
attractive girl. I love the way she dresses her hair
and everything. Somebody won't eat that. Um. And you know
at the reunion, I wat your reunion, right, I'm a fan, guys.
I was your reunion and I was very freaking like
I was like like this, literally, I was sitting on
(25:15):
the couch and I started like clapping when you when
you came out, and you just were very straightforward because
you're very like respectful type of guy and you were
very respectful. But like I was like, damn, he has
like a backbone. He is not here to funk around.
He's here to get answers. And I thought that was
really like it puts you like on another level again
(25:36):
because I'm like, dude, he's a sensitive guy. He's in
tune with his emotions, but then he can also like
stand his own. So I wanted to like tell you
that because I thought that was a really beautiful moment
and how you connected with deep T and you were
just defended her there. I was like, oh heck, yeah.
I was like that's amazing, Oh my gosh, And like
they I probably shouldn't say this, but they did make
(25:59):
Shake look better her than than what what he actually was.
No way I was going to ask. Yeah, he was
a total douche. Dude, he was a douche. And I
because I love Deep t I truly do. She's she's
such a good person inside and out. I feel. I
even told her after everything was over, I'm like, Deep,
you are literally going to be the queen of everything
(26:21):
when you when all of this ends, because of how
bad this person was too and because you're such a
good person, the fact that he was so bad to
you is just gonna you're your Yeah, definitely. And she
sat there so poised and just wasn't she just like,
I'm going to sit here in my dress and look
(26:41):
cute and go ahead, you look like an idiot. So
I just loved it to the to the end. She
just kept her class, and I'm like, she's going to
get a good man out of this. I hope she does,
because I kill I know he needs some serious I
don't know what, but so sal tell us what comes
after love is blind? After love is blind? I just
(27:03):
I'm thinking to myself, I want a date. I wanna
open up that door and and and no longer do apps.
I feel like it's important for me maybe to set
up a date or two whatever, um, but it's more
authentic to me to meet somebody in personnel. That's how
I am going into this. And honestly, like when I
(27:24):
when I did go on dates after the show, it
was more so with like better questions. I just I
was so interested in the person because it was just like, hey,
let's let's figure this out. Let's see if we actually
want this. It was so much more easier for me
to build rapport with somebody because I so like I
was just a d pent in as far as like,
let's figure this out, let's day, let's have fun, you know,
(27:46):
let's let's ask the meaningful questions if that's where we
want to want this to go and just be revolve
around honesty, you know, and and good communication and if
it's if it's casual with somebody, like it's whatever, it's casually,
you know, but you community had it and you can
well and it's all consensual. And I feel and I
feel like, there's, uh, it's really important to have that.
(28:07):
I guess if I could summarize it at all, what
I learned the most coming out of this experience is
how to create a safe space for the women in
my life. Guys. Oh my gosh, dude, that's awesome. I'm
your fan, Dude, I'm fed. I want all the guys
that to listen to this, and it's probably like mainly women,
but they're probably gonna be like trying to find you.
(28:29):
But dude, like, yes, yes, you remind me a lot
of my boyfriend. The way that you speak and the
way that you express yourself and you're connected, like he
goes to therapy, Like he's all about making me feel
safe and I never had that and he's twenty nine, okay,
so like I know that there are good guys out
there and he's just it's like when you're ready and
you know what you want in life and you've gone
(28:50):
through things and you do what you gotta do, like therapy, life, coaching, mentorship,
whatever it is, it really does help you, guys. It
helps the healing process and like sell, So that's awesome
and the bar is so low for men. It really
is like if you go to therapy, like they will
(29:13):
make a parade for you, like good for you, the
word you know, and it's it's interesting. I feel also
coming out of this is just understanding like the fact
that you can only only love somebody as much as
you love yourself, and I feel like that became more
evident to me too, and just letting someone in that
(29:33):
deeply is hard if you if you haven't done that
work for yourself, you know, that's where insecurities come in,
because you just haven't done that work. Definitely, you just
haven't done it, and no one can do it for you.
No one can. That's a choice that you have to make.
And whether it's for the person that's in your life
now or the person that's going to come, it's like,
if you don't do that work, they're just those things
(29:56):
are just going to come back and hunt you in
every single relationships. It's like it's an your choice. You
gotta really get in there and do the work. Guys.
I mean we all have them. I have, you know
what you call those those demons from my past from
my childhood that I have to constantly go to therapy
and make sure I keep them in place and I
keep them suppressed and I just keep growing mentally, emotionally
(30:19):
and in every way. So it's it's not like, oh,
you go to therapy. I'm bad, I need help. I'm broken. No,
like I think we all are kind of a little
bit broken. We need to be kind of like put
back together. It's life. It brings us closer together. And
when you when you understand that that we're all going
through something. But yes, like you said, it's so good
(30:42):
to see that you're not jaded. You know what I mean.
You're still open, you're still willing, You're still like you know,
because but you were there for all the right reasons.
So I think that's why you have, like I said earlier,
very good head on your shoulders. I can tell from
the like since I watched the show. So it's so
nice to be able to speak to you and you know,
talk about all these things. Now that we're kind of
(31:08):
like talking, what about we do some singing? Won't you
sing for us? Was not ready for it, Like I
wasn't prepared for this. I don't even know what I
would begin to sing. I am saying just anything anything
like a little maybe you even sing on the on
(31:30):
the show. Oh you know, let me see what a
terrible Joe. You're so cute. Thank you so much, Yeah,
(31:59):
thank you, thank you sleeper doing that. Okay, So how
about now we move on to like a Q and name?
Are you game for that or what I'm getting? Yeah?
Like little fire questions will some some So here we go.
Who is your favorite cast member on the show? My
favorite cast member on the show is, honestly, I have
(32:20):
to say Danielle. Yeah, she's a sweetheart. Danielle is such
a sweetheart, I even all off camera and everything, Like,
I know she's gone through a lot, and I know
that she she got some heat for being like, um
so vulnerable on camera, you know, but I feel like
I feel like inside she she's she's very real and
(32:42):
she's solid. Yeah, she's she's a great and her and
deep tea. Yes. Okay, So who is your least favorite
cast member? Do I even have to say? I know,
shake fucking yeah, you know, like and look, I'm not
going to talk bad, but I feel like this goes
(33:04):
for everybody like you. You have to you have to
develop your empathy. You have to develop your empathy for
people and know that what you say have consequences. That's
That's all I'm gonna say. What's one thing you think
the show got wrong about you? Um? I don't sing
all the time. I think for myself a little bit,
(33:31):
you know, but I think that's one thing they got
wrong about me. But you know, I pulled out my
youth once and after that it was just like forget it,
like we need more youth, we need more youth. That
was production how they're like, do it more and more.
I know how reality is, so it's probably yeah, I
(33:51):
get it. Okay, So how has the show changed your
perception on dating? You know, if I could summarize it
like we were saying earlier, chicky, is they really helped
me just check on the women in my life and
going in with that same energy, checking in the women
in my life, making sure that they feel safe around me,
and going into days in that same way, you know,
(34:13):
and above everything, make friends first. Be friends with these girls, like,
show a genuine interest in them. That's what I got
out of it the most. I want to be a
friend to women in my life first. It's not about
it's not all physical, it's not about all about attraction absolutely, Okay. Um,
have there been any cons to being on the show.
(34:38):
It's kind of it's kind of hard to put yourself
out there. It's not really a con though, it's just
kind of you if it could be if you let
it get to you, you know. But I feel like
if you lean into yourself and realize that that's your
only way to get through this is just to rely
on yourself and be sure of everything about that is you,
(35:00):
then then you'll you'll be fine. But it's being a private,
private person like I am. It was hard for me
to do that, so um, but not exactly a con Okay,
So here's an interesting question. So do you think you're
still ready for marriage? M m oh man. You know,
(35:22):
I don't think I am. I was so mentally prepared
in that experience, and it was just like alright, go go, go, go, go,
like yes, proposal, yes, all right, let's go, let's make
this work. And it wasn't. There wasn't enough time for
me to just kind of pause and think. And I
feel like what really influenced that too, was the fact
that we can't talk to our families when we're in
(35:44):
these pods, you know, so bounce these ideas off of anybody.
It's just you. So it's like, which is fine, Like
it's all you need, you know, at the end of
the day. But it was but you're not scared of marriage, right, Yeah,
I'm not of like companionship, being with somebody and putting
in the work, you know, and being committed in monogamous
(36:05):
and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, being committed monogamous is
I think if you're with the right person, can be
very very rewarding. For sure, it comes easy. I feel
like when you're with that person and you you have
like a friendship with them as well, it just comes easy.
It's like, I love this person, I care about this
person so much. It's like you don't even think about
other people, about cheating, you know what I mean? Yeah,
(36:28):
you kind of. I mean, don't get me wrong. Your
your partner will notice another person, you know, like you
will notice people you know, but at the same time,
like you know that you're in this together and you
know what the consequences would be if you did go
with someone else. And at the end of the day,
it's just poor communication, Like you're not feeling somebody like
(36:50):
tell them, even if it doesn't mean a breakup. Yeah,
it's better to be honest, you know, A the truth
goes a long way. So moving on to foods a
little bit, you know, water burger or in and out
in out. Yeah right, I want something and out so bad.
I love water Burger because they have like a lot
(37:11):
of options. But then again, like I don't really like
options I like, but just the taste. I would go
within an out. So I agree with you on that one.
I was just gonna say that I like water Burger.
The fries are are what's the word over over overrated, overrated, overrated.
As far as drinks go, tequila or vodka? Oh, tequila? Right? Okay?
(37:36):
Tequila or beer? Tequila? Okay? Nice? Yeah, I like tequila
neat just like you know, throw it back lime, a
little salt perfected on the rocks or blended on the rocks.
(37:58):
Yeah right, I think it's yeah, the rocks is nice. Okay, okay,
so alrighty okay. So would you ever go on a
show like Love Is Blind Again? I think I would.
I yeah, I would go on a show like Love
Is Blind Again. It was Ah, it's uncomfortable, but I
(38:20):
feel like you grow in those uncomfortable situations. So for
that reason alone, hell yeah, I would do it again.
That's awesome. I love that. I love that. So what's next? Um,
I just got a new job and I'm working remotely
so I'm focused on that, and I'm focused on my
my platform and understanding the responsibility that comes with that,
(38:43):
you know. And I want to spread some awareness for
men who might feel alone or who feel like they
can't open up their heart and feel those emotions. You know.
So I just sorry, that's my dryer. It's okay, it's okay,
you wash this us two guys or lady? Should I say?
(39:04):
That's awesome? But yeah, that's next for me, just making
sure that my platform is a safe space for everybody
on there and that they could take something and learn
something from the from there, you know. And I want
to focus on providing resources for good resources that have
helped me in my past, like whether it's platforms, podcasts,
(39:25):
and yeah, that's really what I'm focused on next. And
just staying positive and and making people in my life
are prioritized and safe. That's awesome. And you know what,
I can see you doing that. I can see you
doing a podcast and talking about everything that we've talked
about here. I've learned so much and it's just so
like like I said, it's a it's a breath of
fresh air to see that there are good men out
(39:46):
there and smart men that do their own laundry, you guys,
that's awesome and drink tequila and seeing damn it do well.
Thank you so much. Honestly, sal I am. I'm excited.
You are for sure one of my favorites on the show,
(40:06):
and I really connected with you, and thank you. I'm
so glad that you took the time to talk to
me and come on my podcast. Thank you, thank you,
thank you much, and I wish you the best, and
thank you for talking about these topics. It's so important. Absolutely,
we've got to spread awareness and knowledge to our people,
you know. So that's why I decided to have my
(40:26):
own podcast, and it's it's great to have people like
you on and share your your your socials. Please for
everyone that's listening. Oh sure, you can find me on
Instagram at Salvadior zero eight and you could find me
on TikTok under that same user name. Um. What other
social do I have? Do you have? Twitter? Facebook? My Space?
(40:48):
My Space? What does my space? You got my Space? No?
I don't have. I don't think I have anything else
can yet? When no worries, you guys can find them
there these and gentlemen, men that want some advice, okay
that are ready to step up their game, and ladies,
um if you just want to tell him nice things
and stuff, you know. And as for me, as usual,
(41:15):
you guys, I always leave you with a motivational quote,
and I have one for you. Let me go ahead
and read it listens a little longer. But love is
such a powerful force. It's there for everyone to embrace,
that kind of unconditional love for all of humankind. That
is the kind of love that impels people to go
(41:36):
into the community and try to change conditions, for others
to take risks for what they believe in. That's one.
And then love has nothing to do with what you
are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting
to give, which is everything. Hopefully those quotes get to
your guys heart again. I hope you learned a little
(41:57):
bit about love and men and women and just offen
experiences and experiments and all that great stuff. I love
you by. This is a production of I Heart Radio
and Mildura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michelda
Podcasts and follow me Chickys That's c h I q
(42:20):
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