Club Shay Shay - Ms.Pat Part 1

In this heartfelt and hilarious episode of Club Shay Shay, Shannon Sharpe sits down with the incomparable Ms. Pat—comedian, actress, podcast host, NAACP-nominated author, and Emmy-nominated creator of The Ms. Pat Show on BET+. Ms. Pat opens up about her remarkable journey from humble beginnings in Atlanta to becoming a force in the entertainment industry. She reflects on the tough lessons learned growing up in a bootleg house, becoming a teenage mom, and how she transformed her life despite the odds.

Ms. Pat shares an unforgettable moment with Shannon, recalling the advice he gave her on a plane about matching her Gucci backpack and Louis Vuitton purse, which sparked a lasting bond between the two. She also discusses the emotional responsibility of raising her sister’s children while juggling her own, the challenges of growing up with an abusive mother, and the painful yet transformative process of forgiveness, including caring for her estranged father in his final years.

Through laughter, tears, and her signature raw humor, Ms. Pat explores the power of comedy as therapy and how it helped her heal from trauma. She calls Katt Williams one of the most caring comedians and shares that Katt paid for her dad’s funeral. Ms. Pat also dives deep into her personal life, including the pride she feels in building a legacy for her children and the lessons she's learned about love, resilience, and self-worth. With her down-to-earth attitude and refusal to embrace the “celebrity” label, Ms. Pat’s story is one of resilience, transformation, and finding humor in even the darkest moments.

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you put out a six tape for the blind people.
What was her name, Michelle? I don't know. Old.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
That's good to hear a fifty six year old man
making that kind of sound in the bedroom, because usually y'all.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Just fart.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
All my life, grinding all my life, sacrifice, hustle, Patic Price,
Wanta Slice got the brother Geist.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Swap all my life. I've been grinding all my life,
all my life, drinding all.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
My life, sacrifice, Hustle, pat Price One Slice got the
brother of Geist.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
The swap all my life.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
I've been grinding all my life.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
Hello, Welcome to another episode of Club Shasha. I am
your host, Shannon Sharp. I'm also the propriet of Club
shahe the lady that's stopping by for conversation or the
drink today is one of the most relatable women out
here today. She's an atl born comedian, stand up superstar
out shows nationwide, popular actress, successful hosts, podcast, celebrity entertainment
mogul NAACP nominated author, a star, creator, writer, executive producer

(01:11):
of the Emmy nominated sitcom Miss Pat Show plus bt
B Ple plus first ever Emmy nomination. A love mother,
a wife, and an Auntie here she is, Miss pat.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Well, damn you did your homework. I ain't never been
introduced like that unless I was in court.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
This is not the first time we met. Tell the
people for the first time that we met.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
So we was on the plane on Dell to come
into Atlanta, and I think something was going on with
the football. But I got to talking and I said
I was a Falcon fan, and so you louis Eton down.
And this was early in my career, and I had
a Gucci book bag and I had a Louisiton perse
and you was like, hey, you're gonna have to get
your stuff to match all you all your labels gotta match.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
And I was like, you go to hell.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I got what I could buy when I can buy,
and so when now my stuff do match?

Speaker 1 (02:00):
And I always think of you.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's like black An's gonna get off the plane and
tell me my ship need to match.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Thank you so much, Misspath for stopping by. I know
your busy, you got a lot going on. Been watching
your shows, so I would like to take a little
toast to your career. Congratulations on everything that you've accomplished,
everything that you've overcome, and much much more. To come
just to look this a little.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Shannon, don't drink one more simple thatad. You're gonna have
me holling like you had that other woman.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
Bad we got. I thought we were gonna get in
like a three month great period.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
I don't know. I just my first time seeing you
said that. I was like, that's a man that goes
to the jeans and I could tell I don't.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
I don't know, but in the black community, we were
assuming she was white the way she holly, because most
sister could have tucked that.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
She was hollering like she wasn't used to it.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
So I was like, all right, then, Shannon, that's how
you put out a sex tape with no film, just sound, Shanne,
you put out.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
A sex tape for the people, for the blind people.
What's her name, Michelle? I don't know.

Speaker 5 (03:26):
I know everybody's been ragging you on that.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, yeah, you come in right off the rip too.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
But you know what, that's good. What what are you?
Fifty six? You fifty six?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
That's good to hear a fifty six year old man
making that kind of sound in the bedroom because you
and y'all just fart, you know, to.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Hear the hat boy going and no gas in the air.
I was proud of you. I was a proud black mom.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
Well.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Congratulations, Uh miss pat show just got picked up for
a season number five. What has it been like for
this newfound celebrity for you?

Speaker 2 (04:06):
You know, people call it celebrity, Shannon, i'mna be honest
with you.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
I live right here in Atlanta, and when I'm not
doing the.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Mispassed Show, I'll be at TJ Max with wig on backwards.
I don't want to get recognized, but I do get recognized.
So I just say I look at it as a job,
and you know, people are gonna recognize me.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I take a picture of a feel too if I
don't have on makeup.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
And I mean, I'm glad that people are noticing the
work that I'm putting out there. But to say, I
don't really use the word celebrity. I'm your friend at
the grocery store. I'm your friend at TJ Max.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
I love TJ Max. Yeah, yeah, Home Goods.

Speaker 4 (04:41):
Is this newfound success everything that you thought it would be.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
The money is good, you know, because I mean, you
know my background soul Craig for his checks.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
It is nice to be able to go in there
and swipe a card.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
That belongs to you, and I have to pray that
the money on the card, no not not have.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
To pray the police gonna come out to I didn't
have them cause that wasn't the money. I had to
call up with the money that wasn't mine.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
Okay. So if you if looking back where you are
right now, miss pat, what would your ten year old self,
what would you tell yourself?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
I would tell my ten year old self, we made it.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
We made it.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
You know, I look over my life and I you know,
my kids really.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Young and went through a lot, and all I ever
wanted to do is just show my kids the work,
show my kids a life that I never had. And
you know, this year I finished my house off of TikTok.
I was a contractor. It was about fifteen thousand square
feet and to pull up to that house, yeah, I builds,

(05:45):
but I'm a dy person. I'm a dy person. I
was a subcontract so I did. I did a lot
of it in myself, not the work. I just contracted
it out and I had it planning. I saved a
certain amount of money. So I look back and you know,
and the things that I'm putting in place for my kids,
in my grandkids. When I'm no longer here and I
can say I'm fine, somebody finally get to leave generational wealth.

(06:09):
And you know, for I'm a fourteen I mean I
had my first kid at fourteen, drop out of school
in the eighth grade. And to be able to do
all of this and to help my immediate family, it
means a lot to me, right it do.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
As a former NFL player, I know a thing or
two about high performance, and that's why I drive the
BMW seven series. This car has everything I need. It's
big enough, comfortable enough, and like curious enough to meet
even my high expectations. When I'm behind the wheel of
the BMW, I'm not just driving a car. I'm driving legacy.
What I love most is the precision engineering, cutting edge technology,

(06:44):
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(07:05):
your dream card today and join me and experience in
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You're from atl What are some of your favorite and
we're gonna get into your childhood, your upbringing, but what
are some of your fondest memory as a child?

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Going to Grandma Biscuit with my stepdaddy Curates Okay, right
there off for all, I want to say, it was
Moreland Avenue. But he used to wake us up every
morning on a Saturday and take us to Grandma and Biscuit.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
And they used to have these biscuit called Cathead biscuits, and.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
It was he would buy a saush and biscuit and
I'm quite sure he was like a dollar back then,
but that was a lot of money. My stepdaddy was
a mechanic, and he would take us there and he
would set us in the Grandma Biscuit, me and my
sister at five o'clock in the morning. He would never eat.
He would buy us the biscuit. He would drink a
cup of coffee. And that was you know, when him
and my mama broke up, that was one of the
things I missed the most. You know, that father figure

(07:56):
give us up at five o'clock and doing the things
that I was used to do. So that's a big
memory for me.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
Did you stay in contact wait him after they separated.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, he used to.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Come over and drop off school clothes and stuff like that,
and you know he still Actually when he died, I
helped buried him.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Wow. Yeah. What's your proudest moment of a child?

Speaker 2 (08:19):
My proudest moment as a child. I remember I went
to this. Back in the day they would have these
Black history plays in school, so kids don't get to
do this anymore. But you had to really act out
if you were Martin Luther King. You needed to know
that speech, you needed to be dressed like him, you
need to change your voice, you had to become that person.
And this particularly in the year I was leaning horn

(08:40):
and I bought I had a play, and I did
this play and I asked my mama to come and
I had my speech downpack and I performed my speech
and I looked in the audience and my mother wasn't there,
and it broke my heart. But I remember walking down
the street and I said, she had never hurt me anymore. Wow,

(09:04):
And that's I think that's when my heart became hardened.
And I knew I was going to always have to
take care of myself.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Well, what what type of relationship did you have with
your mom?

Speaker 2 (09:13):
My mom was an alcoholic, she had five I was
her six child, and she she was she I know
she dropped out of school, probably elementary school. Because my
mom was born in thirties and you know, she she
gave us what was given to her.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
So it wasn't really a relationship because she was a
young mom. Like said, she was a young mom like myself.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
You was raised you mentioned I read in your story
that you was raised in a bootleg home with your
grandfather right here and ten people at a time. It
was a lot of people, a lot of people. So
what what was Because I was raised by my grandparents,
and I know my life would have been a lot
different had I been raised with my parents, because the
discipline and what they instilled in me. It was a
lot different grandparents to parents. So what do you remember

(10:02):
most about being in that environment?

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Who? The bootleg house?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Pickpocketing people, music, pickpocketing drunks, drunks ye music?

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Well shit, we was trained to don't let me get
too closes. I might know how to steal your necklace.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Uh, just a lot of music, drunk people, fights, all
kind of craziness, gambling, people pulling up to the house
of moonshine sacks, seeing people have sex.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Everything went at granddaddy house.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
Right. So when you say you were trained, uh, to
life of crime basically pickpocket. But why would you pickpocket
the people that were gonna come back over the next
week and buy more.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
Alcohol than the drinks but they didn't remember, thought.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
They lost their money or something.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Well, once you fall asleep, you don't know what you got. Ma,
Mama trained us how to do that.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
Wow, you're like, Mama, this ain't right.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
At one point, I was watching Sessmonth Street and my
mom would give us like two to three dollars or
something like that per customers. And I was learning fraction
and they said ten percent, and I asked her for
ten percent, but neither one of us knew how to
count ten percent of what I stole.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
So she gave you ten cents like a die.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
No, she gave me ten dollars.

Speaker 4 (11:19):
You so you were on a ten percent of whatever
you took in. Yes, but she didn't know what ten
percent meant. Neither you did know that what percent meant,
So she gave you ten dollars, then you might have.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
Only ten dollars, and I was happy because all I
wanted to do was play peg Man the video game.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Yes, yes, yes, Oh my goodness, miss Pat. I read
that your mom couldn't read nice, and you dropped out
and you had your first kid at fourteen. You got
pregnant at thirteen, first kid at fourteen, had another kid
by the time you were fifteen, dropped out of school,
and I.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Had an abortion when I was sixteen. Yeah, by married man. Huh,
by a married man?

Speaker 4 (12:00):
I missed Pat, what I mean? So he was married,
so I'm less just safe for the sake of I
don't know how old he is. I'm gonna assume he's
probably in his mid twenties, maybe late twenties.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
He was in his early twenties, and I was twelve
when I met him.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Did your mom know about this guy?

Speaker 1 (12:17):
She didn't care. It happened to her.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
You know, each one teach one, so it happened to her,
so you know, nobody protected her. So how does she
know how to protect me? Now? I knew how to
protect my daughter because I told my daughter when I
had her, I said, you would never go through what
I went.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
Through right, and she didn't cause you had to break
the cycle because a lot of times miss pat people
raised kids kind of how they were raised. Yes, unless
they choose to break that cycle. If you were disciplined tough.
A lot of times you disciplined your I did.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Discipline to him. I made a lot of mistakes with
my I had two sets of kids. I call him
my Medicaid and my Blue Cross Blue shit kid. But
I made a lot of mistakes with my first kids
because a lot of that hurt. I brought it into
my parenthood. And when I met my hood and he's like, hey,
you don't be talking to these kids like that. But
he grew up with a mom and a dad in
a Christian household. You know, I grew I grew up

(13:07):
being talked to a certain way, and I did the
same thing to my kids.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
Right. I read that you guys got baptized a lot
of different church because.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, feed you if they would give us basket, they
would let us go to the bottom of the church
and we would get food. You know, back in the day,
you can if you had financial problems, you would go
to the church and get baptized in the church. Will
write your chick and then you can go to the pantry. Well,
that was a hustle for my mama. So we got
baptized a lot, like twenty five times, to the point
where I was like, I'm sick of this damn water.

(13:38):
And she would hate when they wrote a check on
Sunday too, because she couldn't catch you the monday.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
Ms pad you got you gotta write a book.

Speaker 5 (13:44):
I did.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
I wrote a book. He's called Rabbit.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
This mean to be a movie. It do need to
be a movie because your upbringing. I mean, look, a
lot of us have you know. Obviously we all go
through something. Sometimes it's more than others. But listening and
researching your story, I'm like, man for you to overcome
and to be where you are currently. Do you look
back or do you think about how blessed you actually are?

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
But to get where I'm at, And I tell this
every time I tell this story, I had to forgive
the people who harmed me. Oh, you can't get anywhere
when you hate. When you hate something or somebody, that
hate will control you. So that was a time I
hated my mama for a loudness grown man to sleep
with me. And you know, letting other be my baby.
Daddy wasn't the first one I'd been with less several

(14:32):
times before he even got to me.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
So I grew hate for my mother.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
And then once I, you know, got older and realized
what my kid's father had done to me, I started
to hate him too. But when you hate something or somebody,
you can't live. So I had there was never My
mama is dead, so I was never gonna be able
to ask something for forgiveness. And when I asked my
kids father, he said, well, your mind and body wasn't twelve.
When I said, why did you sleep with me? I
was twelve years old. He said, where your mind and

(14:58):
body wasn't twelve? I knew then I had to forgive
him so I could move on, and people I was
like you, but you you know, I tell these stories
with a smile on my face. Well what a fuck
I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cry? What I'm gonna cry
for to all.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
That kind of resentment all those years. Yeah, my grandma,
you say, miss pat, that could never be freedom without forgiveness.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
That's right.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
And so you finally, in order to forgive them, you
became free. So if I'm not if I'm hearing you correctly.
Was it your mom's boyfriend that molested Yeah, did you
tell her about it?

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah, she didn't want to hear because my mama boyfriend
took care of us like she paid. He had a wife,
but he come over every day and he bought food,
and he bought my mama beer, He bought a weed,
and he helped her pay a little rent in her
efficiency house where we lived at. So, you know, I
kind of feel like my mom was like, well, I

(15:48):
had to give him something more than just me, so
she looked the other white.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
That's what I come when we try to tell her,
shut the hell up. Don't nobody want to hear that?
And we never said it again, and he did it
many times, we me and my sister.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
He slept. It was both of you touched both of us.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
Man, is that where the resentment really started from? From
that moment when you tried to explain to your mom
what was going on and she turned the blind eye.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Well this was before my kids father. He molested us
before my kids, before I met my kids father. But
it was just a whole lot of other stuff you
know that I saw as a kid, like my mama
would let my sister go up to up the hill
with this older guy, and my sister would be like,
I'm not lying. I think my sister were probably eight,
because we're two years apart, so she was no longer

(16:40):
older than ten.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
She was like, that's my boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
And I couldn't understand it because that man was old
as fuck and he would take up the heill and
bring her back. And as I got older and I
started putting two and two together, I was like, my
mama was letting that man mess with her, and she
she didn't try with me because I was really rebellious.
I was like, I'm not doing that. I could tell, yeah,
I'm not doing that. I'm tired of getting my again.

(17:06):
Y'all gonna leave me for I need some type of
pritudeness when I meet a good man.

Speaker 4 (17:13):
But so I saw, I.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Saw my mama do that with my sister, and she
allowed him to touch us, and I need to re
I need to. You asked me a question earlier, what
was one of my most proudest moments? And I said,
my mama, can I re answer that? I think my
one of my most proudest moment was when I shot
the Miss Pat Show in LA and my husband came

(17:34):
and my husband went through a lot with my comedian
carell comedian career because I had no money. I was
not making no money. He's mad working at General Motives.
He didn't he don't understand a dream take care black
ads work. His daddy worked for the City of Atlanta
his whole life. His brother didn't work. Well, I've been
a hustler. I'm out here doing coming. I ain't making
no money. He's like, oh, you damn crazy. And I
told my husband, I said, one day I'm gonna get

(17:55):
a TV show, and he was like, yeah, what theevil
And when he came to like and he saw me.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Shoot the Misspast show.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
And at the end of the second epic, I mean
at the end of the second shoot, I thanked everybody
for helping me put the show together. And I looked
up at my husband and I say, thank you for
allowing me to max out your credit card.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Thank you because I'm man. I told his ass up
I was stealing them and everything. Thank you for watching these.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Kids, not only my kids that wasn't yours, the two
I had by you and my sister for kids. Thank
you for allowing me to put six kids in your
life instantly and be there for me. Thank you for
saying no but not really saying no. And my husband
bust out crying, And that's the only time I ever
seen him cry, because I knew he was proud of me,

(18:41):
because you know, when I started dating the people, his
family was like, she's a welfare queen. I had Section eight,
I had a lot of food stamp. I wasn't gonna
go to work until I fucked to run him. I'm
sorry tell I fought to running, voted for Bill Clinton,
and went through the welfare to work program. He tricked me,
but I was lazy, right, And my husband would always

(19:03):
tell me, you're a smart person.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
Why you like this?

Speaker 2 (19:07):
And I've told this story one hundred times. He gave
me our kids, get up and get out and get
some and that motivated me. But I have to thank
my husband because without him, I wouldn't be here. Because
that man went through a lot with this comedy career.
He had no money, gone all the time, he watching
all the kids, he giving them up, He's trying to
do hair. He running there after he done work, then

(19:29):
eight to ten hour ship at General Motives and never complained.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
Your original two kids that you had before you met me.
You had two kids with him, and you had I'm
not mistaken, you had your sister kids.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
I had my sister four kids, four kids, so that's
eight kid yes, and we're not even I don't even
think we were twenty.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
Five, miss bad, If you don't mind me asking, if
you could recall what is the ages of these eight kids.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
When I met my husband, my son was five and
my daughter was seven, and then I got my sister
four kids, which was I think it was a baby
that was six months, probably a two year old or
eight year old or seven year old like my daughter,
and probably a three year old.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
So off the back, he got six kids.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
And then you want and you wanted more.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Well, I'm from the hood, so I figured, you know,
I gotta have a baby by this man.

Speaker 4 (20:20):
And.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
I'm not gonna even lie. I was like, if I
don't have a baby by this man, he gonna leave me.
But they leave anyway. But he's such a good guy.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
And when I went to try to get pregnant, I
had had an abortion that damaged my uterus, and so
they was like, your tubes are blocked, and I was like, damn,
I can't have no baby by this man.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
He's gonna get tired of me to take care of
all these crank babies.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
And I ended up pregnant and then I lose the
baby or day before his birthday, and I remember, I'm
so I was so hard at the time, shaton my
husband booing because the baby. I lose the baby day
before his birthda, I had to give birth and he's crying,
and I tell my husband he's very upset, and I said, dude,
don't worry about that damn baby.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
We can do this shit again tomorrow. He looked at
me like what the hell?

Speaker 2 (21:05):
But I got pregnant again and now I have a
daughter named Garyana. She's twenty six.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
Did was the reason? Can you, if you don't mind
explain explaining why we you took custody or took responsibility
for your sister's kids.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
My sister's on crack, she's still on crack. I have
her grandkids now. Now we're taking care of her grandkids.
We've had them for eleven years. So when when the
defect worker called me and said, if you don't come
get them, we're gonna put them in the foster home,
and I immediately thought, I can't imagine how these kids
are gonna grow up.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Every child deserved to start off on a solid foundation
in this country, in this world.

Speaker 4 (21:41):
And they might even separate them.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yeah, they might even separate because the baby was six months.
So I went and got all four of them, and
I got back and my husband's bags were packed, and
I was like, I can't, I can't. I can't choose
between you and these kids. I said, because I love
both of y'all and they need us. And he jumped
on top of the car, screaming in Holland. He just
went ahead and pug and went back upstairs. And if

(22:06):
we're thirty one years now.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
You we're gonna we're gonna expand on that topic. But
I read that your mom was physically abusive with you, Yes,
when you got out, I guess whipping, I mean verbally abusive,
physically abusive. So what were some of the things that
you would do or do you felt that because a
lot of time, you know, obviously growing up, when we

(22:29):
grow up, I'm much older than miss Pat, I'm pretty
sure I am.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
I'm fifty two.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
But you know, like when you did things wrong in
the South, you were in the South, Atlanta, the South,
you grew things. They didn't play. It wasn't no you
could talk back. Do you suck your teeth for you?
Stump that got your got you whipping? Did you ever
feel your mom gave you a whipping that wasn't.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Deserved all the time, all the time.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
My mama was, My mama was, and I was the
same way. Sometime I can still get that away, but
I I have to calm myself down. I mean, her
tongue did more whipping than anything. She I was not
the prettiest sister.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
My sister was beautiful to me. She's about your complace.
She had real wavy hair, you know, before she got
on drunks. She was just dropped dead gorgeous. And my
mom used to always call me uglass. You uglass really,
And I.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
Never thought that I looked like anything because my whole
life I was told I was ugly. And then coming
up through people, I had really bad acne that nobody
did anything about. So when I met this twenty something
your old man and he finally said the manage words,
I love you, I failed for it because my whole
life I was told I was ugly. I literally, nobody

(23:37):
ever told me I was pretty. My sister was always
told that she was pretty, and she.

Speaker 4 (23:41):
Was to hear your mom say you ugly? Ask can
you ugly be? Knowing that that's probably I mean, even
though you're a child, you know a parent shouldn't talk
to the child like Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
I made those mistakes with my kids too.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
I don't think I would call them ugly, but I
might say stop being You know, I've said some ugly
things in the beginning that I still work on to
this day, and a lot of it has to do
with the way I was raised.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
Did you ever talk to your mom and ask your
mom why she talked to you like this? Why was
she so mean to you? Because what she mean like
that to your sister not to mean no.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
When we had kids, When we both had our first kids,
because my daughter was born August the nine and my
sister daughter was born May the knife right, and we
both had babies back to back by two brothers. Make
a long story short, my mama would never keep my kid,
but she would always keep my sister kid. Why because
she didn't like me. I felt like she didn't love me,

(24:36):
and I felt like she thought that my baby wasn't
pretty as my sister baby, you know, and so at
one point I was scared to even trying to leave
my daughter with my mama because my mama cared more
about my niece than she did my child.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
That's how I felt.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
Did that ever cause resentment between you and your sister
because she called your sister pretty, called you ugly, she
kept kept your niece but wasn't keep your own job.
Did that ever call resentment between you and your sister?

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Not me and my sister really wasn't never close because
we got in the streets so early. My sister got
out into the world doing what she's doing, you know,
drugs or whatever, and so.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
We really didn't have that sister relationship.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
That's what I love about the Miss Past show because
Tammy Roman give me that sister that I never have.
And she don't know how many times I've walked away
and just with joy in my heart or tears in
my eyes because that's something that I always wanted and
to play lit for her to play my sister on
that show. She feels a void in my life. But

(25:47):
me and my sister was never ever. I wanted to
help my sister the way it portrayed on the show.
But no, I wish, and I've tried to help my sister,
like where her grandkids. I tried to help my sister
get a drugs and even now they call me for
stuff and I just say, I don't have time for y'all,
and I don't.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'm not gonna waste my money on no crackhead. I'm
not you.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
You know my sister had an aneurysm this year and
she's still smoking crag.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
Is it difficult for you to say no? Knowing that
is Look, blood doesn't make you family. Blood make you related, yes, trust, accountability, empathy,
and compassion. There are a lot of other things that
could see make you more family than just bleeding blood
related How difficult it is for you to do this,
to tell your sister maybe I've done all I can.

(26:40):
You got to want to get off this stuff. You
gotta want to help yourself.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
Not difficult all I said, Hell no, I don't play
by my money. I work hard for my money. I
leave out that house and jump on the plane every
week and come back. My husband is retired, and I said,
the last thing I'm gonna do is spend my money
on you, mug uncles and have my husband unretired because
I'm out here trying to pull everybody else out of
the mud, say no to everybody.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
The answer is no, I'm not going back where I
came from.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
I've seen so many people trying to help their family
out of the dirt, and then they end back up
in the dirt with them.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
So I just said, no, I'm done. I've helped who
I'm helped, and that's it.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
Is it true your mom used to shoot the lof
a gun to get your attention?

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah, all the time work? Yeah, we knew she wanted
us to come here. How about.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, but we knew she would. Well, I never felt
like my mom was gonna shoot me, Like one time
she shot at me when I wanted to get off
the phone with my kid's father. But we knew she
was just shooting in the ceiling, you know, because she
liked to shoot a gun.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
You was telling the story earlier. Your baby's father, your
first one was twenty two. You started seeing him when
he was when you was twelve. You got pregnant at thirteen,
had the baby at fourteen, and I writ now is
this true that I don't know if it was the
first or the second one that he showed up to
the hospital with a new chick.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yes, he did. That's the first baby.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Hold on.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
And ext her was I ugly, hold on, you.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
Have a you have his child? He shows up to
the hospital with a new not his wife or not
his wife, a new one, and then asked her are
you cute?

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah? I'm fourteen.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah, he came back to say hi to me and
a baby, and I walked him out and she was
standing out there.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yeah, sure did. And I was too young to really
even put it everything together like I had heard.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
He had another girlfriend and until she started showing up
what the house with clothes. You know, he would drive
her car all the time. And so you know, I'm
not gonna say a name because we're still friends to
this day. But we ended up raising our kids as cousins.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Wow, we did for years.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
We raised all kids as cousin. I still talk to
her this day. But you know, we realized that he
was a piece of it.

Speaker 4 (29:08):
Wasn't y'all that the issue. It was him. Did he
get I'm sure he got divorced. He had it.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
He got divorced after I had my second child by
and then she had a baby buying, and she ended
up getting married and going on with her life.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
But we became friends. But yeah, he showed up at
the hospital with her. He sure did. He's a cold dude,
have you always out of.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
I shouldn't say this, but you know how attracted to
men prayed. He was an older man praying on a child.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
I ain't his first underage. He'd done that since I've
been married to my husband.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yes he have, Yes he have. I'm not the I'm
not the I'm not as young as victim either, But
you know.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
Back then, and it wasn't right then, if not right now,
old the man they did things of that nature.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Well, I was just in court with him, not even
five years not even three years ago, for him doing
the same thing to his wife child.

Speaker 4 (30:11):
He in jail, he got it.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
No he's not in jail. No, he's not in jail.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
They called me because they wanted to show that he's
a pedim of behavior.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
And I went to court to testified, and he did
not go to jail.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
And I walked out of there and I actually cried
because I felt like if they had locked him up,
I would have got some type of jestice because it's
too late for me. Yes, you know, the statutetre is
over for me. But if they can get him on
this kid, it would have been even it.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
I would have.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yes, but they didn't, and he wouldn't be able to
do this to anybody else. No, you dropped out of
school in the eighth grade, so basically you got a
basically a seventh grade education. Why you dropped out of schools?

Speaker 1 (30:58):
I had two kids.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
I got pregnant again. I had the first baby, and
then I got pregnant. I just turned right back around
and got pregnant, and so I had to go to work.
Ma mama got a welfare check and she only gave
me what they added to the check, which was.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
Thirty five forty dollars. So my mama thought, and this
is in the eighty seven. I can take care of
two kids off.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
Forty dollars, and what you you ain't taking, you can barely.
You can't take care of yourself off party little lord,
do kid Pampa.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Formula and formula formula. It's high now.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
Back in the day, it was like twenty nine dollars
four case. It's probably two hundred four ks now.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
But I had to go to work. I had to
find a way. So I got in the streets. You know.
I started.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
My kid's father was selling drugs, and then he was
helping me because he had so many women and babies.
And then once he went to jail, I started selling drugs,
and that's how I took care of my kids.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
How did you How did you boid the temptation that
happened to your sister? She got out there in the
streets early, and she got hooked on the drugs. Is
it that you like, Well, I can't get high of
my own supply. If I'm selling, I can't use.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
I was always turned off my mama.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
Okay, my mama watched a lot of soap poppers and
she smoked cigarettes like a dude.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
I mean, like like weed. No, no, like just holding
it like a dude.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
My mama did everything like she was a lesbian, and
it just turned me off, like cigarettes, and.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
You I would go to school and back in the
day they had they had.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
Smoking the bear till you don't smoke some cigarette, And
so I would come home with my mom would make
us like cigarettes and I would burn them up on
the side, and everything she did, I knew I didn't
want to be and I mean everything she did, I
just despised it. She drank gin and water, she she smoked.
She only thing I kept was ma Mama, very funny

(32:53):
as she cursed. And that's the two things I kept
from her. But she was She was the most depressed person.
That's the first ever seemed depression. She would say the
same thing all the time Curtis left me, that was
my stepdaddy, and she would say, the crackers holding me back.
And I didn't even know white people crackers at the time.
I thought she was talking about the keebler El's.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
And and I just said, I don't want to be
like that.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
She cried all the time, Shannon, and it's so hard
for me to cry now. To me, when I see
I tell my and my daughters get on me by
that all the time. Oh you so hard on your girls.
I said, don't cry, it's show weakness. And they was like,
it's nothing wrong with crying, Yes it is. It shows weakness.
Because I looked at a lady who cried all the
time and talked about the situation she was in and

(33:42):
never did nothing about the situation she's in.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
I hate them.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
I hate a person who always telling about what they
gonna do and ain't gonna do. I got friends like that,
and I let them talk and they always tell me
you spontaneous. No, I tell my mind what I'm gonna do,
because your mind is strong and it controls the body.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
It makes the body react. If you say I can
get up, I can get up.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Keep saying that you're gonna get up, even if it
might not be today, it might be tomorrow. But you
gotta feed yourself positive stuff. And I can't stand people
say what they gonna do when I say what I told.
My husband said, I'm gonna get me a TV show. Oh,
I said, I'm a build comedian. Pat, you should go
work at General More. I don't want to work at

(34:27):
General More. Them people, old lad people. I want to
do no thirty years making no call. I don't want
to make no call.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
You go work at Genial Motive.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
And he never understood why didn't want to do that.
And when I found comedy, comedy was healing for me
because I could tell these stories with a smile on
my face and not be ashamed. And I learned it
so many people out there like me, and boy, I
was like, I'm never gonna stop this and I didn't
even do.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
It for the money. I just did it, really.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yes, hitting that stage and finding other people that have
been through the things that I've been through and understanding
the pain because my husband, I was just me and
my husband Husans just brought this story to me. So
my kid's father used to beat on me a lot,
shot in the back of the head and everything. So
I would wake up in the middle of the night
and crying and fight and my husband, my husband had
to be the general motors at five o'clock, and you know,

(35:13):
he would try to be comfortable. Oh, it's gonna be
all right. One night, I woke up Shannon, and my husband, look, hell,
you need to hit that back because I gotta go
to work any morning.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
I never dreamed he was being on.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
My husband said, hit him back, because I'm tired of
you waking me up every other night and get a
bull crap whatever y'all doing in that dream, hit that ball,
huggle back and I and I went back to sleep
and I never got beat up in that dream again.

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Speaker 2 (36:46):
MS.

Speaker 4 (36:46):
Pat your mom. Your mom outwardly was a very tough woman.
She let off a round, she would curse, she would
yell and scream, But inside you can tell she was
a broken woman, that she would breaking.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
My daddy did to her what she all my kids
father do to do to me. My daddy was very abusive,
and my mama was so beat down. She only had
four teeth. I used to think my mama was old.
She my mama down when she was thirty nine years old.
What thirty nine years old? She had four teeth in
her mouth.

Speaker 4 (37:15):
He knocked them up.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
I don't know who knocked him out.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
All I know is her fake teeth was in refrigerator,
wrapped in a Krogo sack, and she put them in
every now and then.

Speaker 4 (37:24):
That's all I know.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
I never asked her.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
I think she told us that my daddy knocked her
teeth out. But she was so beat down. And when
my kid's father was beating me down like that, and
I was like, no, you ain't about to do You
ain't about the mile dred me, You ain't about the
miljord me.

Speaker 4 (37:38):
Mom.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
Yeah, that was my mom now.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
And I started to fight back, and I remember my kids, Foster,
i'mna knock your teeth out of my all I could
see if my mama wanted them too, little soult teeth
at the top of my mouth and they had cavity.
I was like, you're not about to have me walking
around looking like that. And now I don't mind messide
teeth missing, but you ain't. Yeah, I can either disguise
my jaws, y'all, just don't got to. I don't smile
too big, but you.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
But Mama was so broken, so beat down, and I
just said, a man would never in his life treat
me like that.

Speaker 4 (38:10):
Again, did you have a relationship with your father?

Speaker 2 (38:13):
My real father came along when I was about twelve
or thirteen and shows up, slapped me and tell me
you yeah, and I beat his too.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Me and my brother beat his ass.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
He.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
I mean, that's how he introduced himself with a slap,
and you.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Well, I didn't know him and he hit me, so
I hit him back, and me and my brother beat
him up, and he told us he was his daddy.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
But later on in you know, I'm a forgiving person.
I don't hold grudges.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
And my daddy had multiple my loma and I got
to know him and I took him to Indiana with me,
and that's where he passed away at And I never
forget when he was dying, Shannon.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Because I'm the baby, and he was so proud of me.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
The only time you ever really seen me on TV
is when I was on Judge Joe Brown's on somebody
for damage in my house. And so when he was passed,
he wanted to see this. But I know he wanted
to see this, but he died. Make a long story short.
When he was dying, he looked up at me, and
at this time he couldn't talk, and he just said
thank you. And I said, you don't owe me nothing,

(39:18):
And I know he was saying, I never did nothing
for you, but you came back and you took care
of the man that did not take care of you.
I picked my daddy up from Grady Memorial Hospital. Grady
Memorial Hospital, put my daddy out with no health care,
cut his leg off wrong, and pushed.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Him to the car, put him in the car.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
I put him on a papa and drove him from Atlanta,
Georgia to Indianapolis.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
I pulled up at the CBS right over there at
Riverdale and didn't I have no money.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
I wasn't making no money at the time, and I
said he needed diabetic medication and the man was like
it was a couple hundred dollar, said.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Sir, I don't have it.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
I bust out crying, and the pharmacists looked at me
and say, don't cry. I said, I'm taking my daddy
home to Indiana. He said, I'm gonna feel my prescription
and that should be enough for you to get him
back on Medicaid Medicare, so you can get him a prescription.
He gave me his thirty day supply. I drove my
daddy all the way from Atlanta, Georgias to Indianapolis, and
my trailblazing pulled over several times and changed his papa

(40:20):
in the back of the car.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
And he stayed with me for about five or six years.
And this is when my career took off.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
I get a call, huh, God, favor for what you did?
You know?

Speaker 1 (40:32):
I didn't. I don't.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I told my daddy. He said, I know what your
mama gonna told you. I said, stop, we can start over.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
I said, I don't know. I don't go about what
people say about people. Let me get to know you.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
And I got to know him, and I got a
chance to love him, to feel what a father love was.
I already had that step father, but you know that
was my stepdad. He stood in for a long time,
and then my real daddy came along and I got
to feel the love that my real daddy had for me.
And when he passed away, I had just got a

(41:09):
call my daddy passed. I don't know if this is
xact day. On a Monday that to Wednesday, I got
a call to come go on tour with Cat Williams.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
And I told my husband, I said, you ain't gonna
believe this. He said, what I said? They told me.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
I'm going on tour with Cat william I get to
I don't even know what the first city was. I
get to the city, were all in the room like
this and Cat come in and I'm excited. I don't
want to show my excitement because I don't really know
Cat william And he introduced itself when we talking, and
he overheard me on the phone and I'm trying to
get my brothers and sister that my daddy just died.

(41:43):
He said, what you're doing? I said, my daddy died.
He said your daddy died. I said, yeah, he died Monday.
I said, I'm just trying to, you know, do his funeral.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Do you mind? And he said no, mind.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
He went behind a dough and came back with a
stack of money, and I said, what is this? He said,
go bury your daddy and come back, and I was
blown away. It was a couple thousand dollars. My daddy
had spent his insurance money right before he died. He
literally catched his insurance part. I could have kicked his ass,

(42:15):
because you know you got casting you die, you're gonna
catch you your damn life at SHIRR. But I almost
put him in a potato sack. He better be thinking
Cat William, because he was about to be potatoes.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
Let me get this straight. Your father died. Yes Monday,
you get the call you're going on tour with Cat.
You've never met Cat before. You don't know Cat. You
know who he is, but you don't know it like that.
You introduce yourself. He walks up to you and you
you're on the phone and you're talking to your siblings
about Okay, dad just died and we need to make

(42:47):
arrangements to put him away. He overhears the conversation, he leaves,
comes back and hands you money, a lot of money
sitting there. Go bear your daddy. Come back.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yes, I did to show that Friday. Uh that that
that that week, I flew home, buried my daddy and
came back and I tried to pay it back. He said,
you don't owe me nothing.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
So Cat, this is Ben Cat, Ben Cat.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
I just seen him at the at the Netflix. Uh,
the guy who owns Netflix. We went to a part
of his house and I always tell him thank you
because he didn't have to do that.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
And in this world and this game, ain't a lot of.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
People that will people if you do something, they something
that they don't want something back and return at some
point in time.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Oh, they gonna tweet about it. Yes, Oh they gonna
tell everybody, Oh I helped you.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
I hate people who do that.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
And people only know this story is because I tell him.
But for him to bury my daddy the first day,
and he still paid me, Shannon, he still paid me.
He didn't take it out of my pay.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
He still paid me.

Speaker 4 (43:54):
Is that what people? What do people get wrong about Cat?
Because people and I've had a comedy on here, Harry
Owen said the same thing that he did them a solid.
There have been several people, but there's there's some out
there that don't don't rock with Cat and don't feel
Cat is what are we missing? I know him on
a different level now because after we did the interview,

(44:15):
we've been in constant communication, so I know him on
a little different level, and you know, been in his
presence since we did the interview. What are we missing?
What people don't know about Cat that you want people
to absolutely understand about Cat Williams.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
One of the nicest comics in this game that I
ever deal with. I mean, the most caring, one of
the most caring. And I don't deal with a lot
of people because I'm old.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
You know, I don't. I don't have stories about horrible
stories about comedians. I just you know, lived my life.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
But that I will never forget because you just could
have told me I'm gonna pay you, but no, you
paid for my daddy funeral and it was a.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
Few thousand dollars, right, and didn't take it out your check.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Didn't take it out of my check.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
And if he took it out your check, you do understood.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
I would have. I didn't expect anything. You just helped me,
told me to go bury my daddy.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
I was able to buy a casket. I was able
to put him in the ground. I was able to
get my brother and sisters up there.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
I was able to do everything.

Speaker 4 (45:15):
Mm hmm. When he gave you that money, did you think, like, Lord,
have merch This man just met me. He don't know
me from a can of pain here.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
I said no, I said, you don't have to do that.
I said, I'm gonna be okay. I was trying to
work it out. I mean, at the time, my husband's
at General Motors, and I knew I was gonna get
paid from him.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
And then you know, my husband got pretty good credit.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
We was talking about taking our loan, you know, all
kinds of stuff, trying to get the city to bury him,
all kinds of stuff.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
Cat walked in and gave me the money and changed
the whole situation.

Speaker 4 (45:46):
Wow, miss man, I read man, you've been used to
scam people.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, I used to be. I used to be a
check for you. I was really good at it too.

Speaker 4 (45:59):
You just steal a blak check, write the person name.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
On it, take it well back in the day, my brother.
I ain't gonna say my relative used to be a
cat burn Your podcast too big for me to be
telling my family member. Mother will be trying to suit me.
I ain't got time for that crack down out a
family member that was a professional burglar. So this person
used to break in the houses, right, and so a

(46:25):
lot of times. And when you got that street mentality,
it stays with you. So back in the day, people
get comfortable and throw their check books inside of you know,
the lovely moment. Well, my brother was still your car,
and bring me the checks. And so at first I
would give them to a crackhead and say.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
Just go get me this and that.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
And I said, well, what are you doing, because I'm
curious when it comes down to hustling. And that crackhead
showed me how to make a fake I d and
showed me how I didn't. I trought our schooling that granted,
and not how to feel like no damn check. That
crackhead took me in practice writing checks and signing the
person name. And so the first time I went out

(47:02):
to do it, it was me and another relative and
we ran up with Mason's and Masons looked like, well
the niggroes right here doing it. Ain't got no money.
We got, she got my niece got locked the hell up.
And so I said we got a regroup.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
We did it wrong.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
So we came up with a plan. All of us
black people don't be right up in Yeah, you' mo
Mason's riches back in the day. We are going there
one at a time, and we gotta look like we
gotta look like so we can't go in there with
no rags on our head. We gotta look like we
got a job. So we put a plan together, and
and and that's.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
How it all happened.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
How did you get the name rabbit?

Speaker 1 (47:39):
My stepdaddy he.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Used to tell me, say, if you eat, if you
eat carries, your eyes are gonna be pretty.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
And I believe that ship. So I like, I like
raw carries.

Speaker 4 (47:49):
So do anybody call you rabbit?

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Now? I don't like it.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
You don't because let me.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Tell you why.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Rabbit holds a lot to my past, not only that
I'm a grown woman. Don't call me rabbit. My name
is pad of Patrician, and my one thing about my
first my kid's father, he would not call me Patrician
because to me, that's how he hold on to the
control that he used to have in my life.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
So he refused to call me pat What would he
call you?

Speaker 4 (48:15):
He called me rabbit?

Speaker 2 (48:16):
He did he still do and I don't answer. I said,
don't call me rap, even my friends. I had to
train my friends not to call me rabb.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
Because, you know, miss Pat Dona southe. Now you get
a nickname, you have to take that thing to the grade.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Yeah, but I'm fifty two years old. Don't be calling
me rabbit. I'm too old to be a rap. I'm
a grown woman. I'm somebody. Mama, grandmama and wife.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Don't call I'm grown and it and it holds so
much to my that name holds so much to where
I come from.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
I just don't want to be called at.

Speaker 4 (48:46):
Did you ever ask him, say why you still call
me rabbit? You know I don't like it.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Well, some of my friendly rabbit, I mean Pat, Like
I was.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
Talking talking about your child's father.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Yeah, he's somebody, he said, he said, I don't know Pat.
I know rabbit, but that's his way holding on. So
every time he hit me through Facebook, I don't fuck
with him. Going back to Jiffy Little, but leave me alone.

Speaker 4 (49:10):
Man, What about you bought a Cadillac. You bought a Cadillac,
but you needed UH because you only had a learners permit.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
Yeah, I had a learners permit. I had several calls
at that time.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
Are you it's bad you you don't even have a
real driver's license.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Well you could go.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
I had a friend that used to take us to
the auction, real auction here in Alanda. So you go
down now on Stuart Avenue and you buy as many
causes as you want to.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
So I would buy these calls and fix them up.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
And I had a Fleetwood Cadillac when every drug dealer
had one. And I had a learner's license with a
crackhead on a passion seat because he had a driver's license.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
So I had a miss shifts.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
So when the police pulled me over, they can't search
the car because I had a license.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Drive in the car with me.

Speaker 4 (49:49):
You always had a hustle mentality. You always looking with him.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
You know what?

Speaker 2 (49:53):
You know what, Shannon, I wasn't I used to steal,
but I wasn't big on stealing. But when I go
in the store, I had to at you myself, be
cause that little crazy.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
Person in me.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
In the back of the mind, like you know what
you can.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
I was at home Goods the other day and this
dude put a two hundred dollars rug in my car
by mistake, and that crazy person may be like, take
off with that damn world, and the good person like,
don't do that. You got an American Express card. So
I said, sir, get the rouge out of my car.
That's not my rouge, that's not my robe. But that
that is still in me, that's the hustle in me.

Speaker 4 (50:28):
So I want to make sure I get this sick.
You were shot in the head at fourteen, got your
areola blown off at fifteen.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Why do you have to say, ariola? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Was it the same guy?

Speaker 2 (50:45):
No, my kids father shot me in the back of
the head and another guy shot me in my boom.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
What damn hold on?

Speaker 4 (50:52):
Is it true?

Speaker 1 (50:54):
I got shot twice? At you? I think I was
fifteen when I got shot both times.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Damn I know.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
I told God, that's a look here, you gotta tell
you more. Stop shooting me. And bullets so hot they
burn after you.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
Did you know he had shot you in the head.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Yeah, he shot me and left me in the house
and I called. I was so I was so younger,
I'm gonna call my friend. I was like, he shot me, girl,
come over here. She get over there, and it cracked
my skull and I'm bleeding stuff.

Speaker 4 (51:22):
Excuse me? What do you shoot you with the twenty two?

Speaker 1 (51:24):
Thirty eight? Yeah? Thirty eight?

Speaker 4 (51:26):
Yeah, but still people have been killed with twenty two
and thirty eight.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Yes they have, Yes, they have.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
And so I brilliant, Shannon, I'm gonna be honest with you.
This is how stupid I was when he shot me.
I thought he I was like, that's love.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Because my mama told me, if a man don't beat you,
he don't love you.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
What.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
Yes, So every black guy was a hickey on my
neck until one day I watched What's Love Gotta Do
with It? And I was like, I ain't taking no
more a whooping and I'll never forget. When I first
started fighting him back, my cousin, my cousin Bull was
in the cause She's like, hit him back, hit his
ass back. You know how your cousin, I'm I'm fighting

(52:06):
my kids father. He hit me right here between my
eyes and black both my eyes, and she laughed her.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
Ass, and I said, why are you to help me?
T W I don't want none to ask.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
But when he when your child's father shot you, you said,
originally wasn't his fault? Because you just too did you
didn't duck fast enough?

Speaker 1 (52:26):
You know what that was? I wanted to make it
out of a joke.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Yes, And it was so hard to hear that a
woman had been shot and abuse and people say, oh
my god.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
And I was like, how can I make this funny?
It's funny to me. And so one day I was
on stage and I said, it wasn't his fault, it
was my fault. A duct slow?

Speaker 4 (52:42):
Did I mean did he just I mean, did you not?
I mean? Did he walk up behind you? Did he
go get the gun?

Speaker 1 (52:47):
He came over and I was over with a guy.
They got to fighting and stuff, and then he hit
me with the gun and the gun went off. Oh
and then he ran.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
He ran, So you was over there with another guy
cover okay?

Speaker 2 (53:02):
And so I called my friend and when I call
my friend, she came over and I was bleeding, and
then we called an ambulance and I get him from
the back of the AMA, just talking. I'm fifteen, young
and dumb, and they looking at me like, which, why
you ain't dead? And so they cut all my hair
off and make sure my brain din swell and then
I went. I got out of the hospital and I

(53:23):
went to tone load.

Speaker 4 (53:24):
Concert, funky cole Madina.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
Yes, with a whole bully woman in the back of
my head.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
You telling you what now? So this you get shot again? No,
you shoot somebody?

Speaker 1 (53:38):
You shoot I shot him?

Speaker 4 (53:40):
Yes, you go to pick him up on the hospital.
There's another chick there, his other baby mama, and I
run in the parking lot.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
I sure did, because I shot you so I can
take care of you.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
Yeah, that's how crazy I was you. But that's when
you that's when you think abusive love. And it's not
because we did a lot to each other. I mean,
I mean I told a story about him. He skated
all the time, and he hit me in my head
with to stop on the skate and I don't know
if you've ever seen a.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Stop, but that ain't gonna give. And I hit with
an iron.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
I mean, it was always just fighting black guys, and
you know, shooting at him and he's shooting at me.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
I'm just thankful that I ain't dead.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
How did you finally decide enough of this? BS? I'm
done with this. I'm done with him. I'm moving on
because I know there's something bigger and better for Patricia.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
I always tell people this is before Sierra, This singer
ever ever prayed that prayer for her husband Russell. I
prayed to God and I say, Lord, I'll never forget it.
I don't get on my knees for nothing, and I
mean no sexual moved for nothing because it's hard for me.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
To get up.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
And God know I'm ladies, I'm a prayer on my side.
I got on my knees and I said, Lord, I'm
not asking you to change him. I'm asking you to
change me. I said, I don't want to hate him,
but the love that I have and the desire that
I have for this man, I asked you to remove
it because it's no longer healthy for me.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
And I'll never forget that, I said, but I don't
want to hate him. Lord. I went to sleep and
woke up and did not care nothing about him.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
The next day, and I remember two days later he
came over and tried to like have sex with me nothing.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
I met my husband that same week. I did that prayer.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
It was honestly, that is what I told God. I said, God,
I don't I just want you to remove what was
keep drawing me to him like cocaine. Take it out
of me. And he took it out of me, and
I never ever went back. And people would always say,
Rabbit ain't gonna never leave him. Rabbit ain't gonna never
leave him. Maybe I woke up one day. I went

(55:57):
from being a little girl to a grown and he
didn't know how to accept it.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
Did he ask, what's wrong with you? While all of
a sudden, now you don't want to do We've done
this for X amount of years or however long you've
done it. What changed?

Speaker 1 (56:11):
I told him I didn't love him anymore.

Speaker 4 (56:14):
Did y'all get to fight him again?

Speaker 3 (56:16):
No?

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Because I ended up. I ended up with my husband.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
So at the time, I'm forging checks and I tell
my husband to come over to my apartment and watch
my kids and stuff.

Speaker 4 (56:24):
And my husband, you this time, if you don't mind me,
I pas.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
Seventeen, okay, And so I've got apartment. It's in my
dad to name, and.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
I'm my husband started to come over. My boyfriend at
the time started to come over, and he was he
was not my type. You know, my husband's a bigger guy.
My kids father's really skinny, like that Chappelle. So I
never really dated a thick guy like that. But he
was so intelligent. And this is gonna sound stupid, but
this is when I knew I didn't have a niggle

(56:56):
and I had a man.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
I walked in one day and he was watching sign
Field and I said, what the hell you watching that
white show?

Speaker 4 (57:03):
Father?

Speaker 1 (57:04):
He said, this is a really good show. You should
sit down and watch. I watched it. I'm a hood
chick and he said, sit down and watch it. And
I was like, wow, this is this is funny.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
Yes, not really my type of funny. But he just
started to introduce me to different things. And you know,
I didn't have to worry about being called no, no, no.
You know, I didn't have to get get talked down to.
He was opening the doors for me. And most women
would take that as being weak, but it was something
that I always wanted.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
I'm gonna tell you a story about my kids. Father.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
One time, we was riding in the car and my
car ran out of gas right there off a bankhead
and we were riding down bankhead a car run out
of gas and it's raining, so my kids, father, you
suck your thumb and I said, you ain't gonna go
to the gas. He said, no, I ain't aboud to
tell you not getting no gas. I get out the car, Shannon,
and I'm walking a mile to the gas station.

Speaker 4 (58:01):
You get out the car, walk in the rain to
get gash.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Yeah, I get out the car. I get out of
the car and walk a mile to the gas station.

Speaker 4 (58:16):
That should have ended it for you right there.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
I was too stupid. Let me tell you what happened.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
So I'm walking in the rain and it ain't rain,
it's pouring right here. This older man pulled up next
to me and say, young lady, let me take you
to the gas station.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
And I'm kind of scared to get in the car.
The older man take me to the gas station, pay
for the.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Gas I get. He take me back to my car.
And that old man seen my baby daddy sitting in
that car, and he went the hell off. He said,
you mean to tell me this young punk sitting in
the car and got you walking in the rain. You
young girls are stupid. My kids father sitting in the
first sea laughing. That started to wake me up. So

(58:56):
when I met my husband and he was he wasn't
watching no crap like I was used to my kid's father.
And he first man I ever seen with a credit card.
He the first man that ever talked to me about
finances and credits and that stuff. Was just attracted to me. Oh,
they attracted me to him because I wasn't used to that.
I wasn't used to somebody calling me ugly, being on me,

(59:18):
calling me. I'm like yes, and so I was like,
I ain't really into this, ain't really my type, but
I'm gonna hold onto this and see where we go.

Speaker 4 (59:30):
You say you meet your current husband, you're seventeen, But
if I'm not mistaken, you went to jail at eighteen.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
No, no, no, I got out jail at seventeen. I'm
about eighteen. Yeah, I wouldn't go to jail for crack seven. Yeah,
so I'm out with nineteen. So when I met my husband,
probably was nineteen because I got I went to jail
at seventeen.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
Back then, you can go to jail seventeen.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
So I got out at eighteen, and then I met
him by nineteen cause he was twenty one and I
wasn't twenty one.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
Let me get the ages right. It been thirty some years.

Speaker 4 (01:00:00):
I want to know the exact moment that you knew
this is my the ever man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
When he told me when I lived in that apartment,
and I was getting evicted because I ain't never like
to pay no bills apartments.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Like I got evicted all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
And so I said, take me to my dad house.
So he put apartment back in my name. My husband
looked at me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Boyfriend Intise said, look, I put apartment in my name
and I said what. And then I said, you're gonna
move he with me? He said, uh uh.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
I said, well, I can't pay the rent. He said, okay,
now mind you. I had never had sex with this man.
He was just coming over all the time, you know,
hanging out and stuff like that. This man go and
put a whole apartment in his name, a whole apartment,
and moved me and my two kids into some security,
paid the rent, paid the bills, and.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
He looked at me and said, I want you to
do one thing for me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
And I said, what he says, stop selling crack and
stop forging chicks.

Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
And I gave my niece my last little bit of crack,
and I threw away the chicks. And that was hard.
Because that was so hard, Shanning.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
I had to go up work at McDonald's for FOAT.
I was in twenty five six hours but then I'm
a hustler. So now I'm still in not directional but
I ain't really telling him because he was just so
cut dry, honest, and I'm like, you know what what
back in the day and what women would consider now
to be lame because that's the word reused.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
And I'm like, my hum, lame is hell.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
You know, he ain't breaking no laws, he ain't got
no speeding ticket, he ain't doing nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
And so I'm like, I'm steal.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
I can't just come up here and work here to
day for no photo twenty five cent. I got two
kids at the house and then we had just got custody.
We had just got my sister kids, so I.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
Got six kids. I gotta get this money.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
So I was up there towing McDonald's a new ass,
and I just came out of the drug game, so
I can count real fast with money. I can count backward.
They change, Oh, I can count, so babe, That's what
I did every night. No, they didn't, because you promoed it.
There was a way on that ratio that you can

(01:02:18):
get away around it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
Yeah, or you took the money and slipping it up
on you took the change, slipping up on the ratio.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
So when you ring it up, you just clear it
out and you get the people their money back, because
back then people aren't using a lot of credit cards.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
They was using a lot of cash. And that's what
I did.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
And you know, to me, I had to get two
jobs and it still didn't make up for what I
was the money that I was making in the streets.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
But I did it because I had a stable place
for my kids to stay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
I had somebody in my life that cared about me,
and I didn't want to blow it, you know, trying
to hustle in.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
The streets because he had tuk.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
He had took me forging chicks and selling dope as
long as he could because a man ain't never been
to jail. And he told me when they said, hey,
I don't have these ain't my kids, what happened when
you go to jail, they gonna give your kids better
than man. And so he just started to make me realize,
you know, Pat, you can make it without doing all that.

Speaker 4 (01:03:15):
How did he know you? How did he know you
were selling crack and forging jacks? Did you tell him
or did he saw you?

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
I knew his brother, I knew his brother.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
So his brother knew I was selling cranking, forging chicks
and I was a hustler.

Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
But he said, but he didn't try to change you.
He didn't beat you down. He didn't say, Look, if
you don't, if you don't do X, Y and Z,
I'm up out of here. He said, Look, I'm gonna
get you this place. I'm gonna put my name on
the lease. All I asked you to do is stop
selling crack and stop forging these checks.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Yep, that's what he knew.

Speaker 4 (01:03:45):
That was so then now that he was like, why
are you doing all this? If you want me to
be your girl? You want you trying? What what you try?
What's your what's your what's your angle? Here?

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Well, we was living together, so you know we was
We was actually living together. So I knew he wanted
me to be his girl. And I just said, you know,
I would talk on the phone with my girlfriends and stuff,
and I knew, I knew I had something different.

Speaker 1 (01:04:09):
I knew it was nothing like seeing a black man.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Go to work and come home and treat you the
way he's supposed to be treated, you know, saying nice
things to you. I mean, he started to he brought
me back to life when so many people before him
had killed me on the inside. You know, he faned
me positive things when I was down and low. You know,
he would talk me out of it. One time in
my whole life, I ever thought about committing suicide because

(01:04:35):
I checked my criminal background history. I went to school
for medical system and I checked my criminal background history,
and they just kept they wouldn't give me no job
because I had too many feelings on my rooking and
they was like no, And I was like, what am
I'm living for?

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
What am I'm living for if I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
Get a decent paying job other than a fast food
restaurant to feed my family or to help you out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
He was like, pat, is more to you than that.
And I just had this.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
I just started to dig inside of myself and to
find out who I really was. But it was it
was all the help of him. I mean, that man
picked me up when I was at my lords. He
and my my husband went to the military. You know,
my husband graduated high school. He ain't never threw up
in my face, but you got to. I mean, maybe
you got an eighth grade education. You know, I've always

(01:05:22):
felt safe for him, I'd be like, how you spell
can she ain't in?

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
And and keep it moving? Damn you can't spell? Can
he ain't?

Speaker 4 (01:05:31):
Never?

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
Not one time ever you ever said.

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
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After everything that you've been through, did you get therapy?
How did you get past all this trauma that had
befallen you in your life? You so you're nineteen and
I'm hearing this, and the audience listening audience to you,
and the audience is going to hear this, think about

(01:06:38):
what you had gone through and you're still a teenager.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
I never got counseling. I think comedy was my counseling. Honestly,
That's where I started to tell the stories of growing
up in the Buleg house, being molested, being shot. The
comedy audience healed me. And when I got the Miss
Pat Show and my co creator, This Boy is Crazy,

(01:07:03):
Jordani Coop, we just started to dig in my life
and tell these stories. And it's so many times I've
cried on that set, but as so many times i've
Season one my kids father, I finally get to tell
him off how I feel me. It's acting, but still
Jordan knew how important that was to me. And I
remember getting in that car leaving that set on boat.

Speaker 1 (01:07:29):
Rock Road here in Atlanta, and I boot hooed.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
Because that was a door that I had clothes that
needed to be open, and my co creator and my
cast helped me open it. And I cried so hard
because all I ever wanted to do was tell him
what he did to me. And how I really felt,
and I got to do it through acting and even
with my mom. You know, we did an episode on

(01:07:55):
my mom on the show and I was able to
you know, my mom used calling ayad ugly and stuff
like that, and I was able to do an episode.
And that was another time I roll home crying. So
through comedy and through the mispat show.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Do I need counseling? I probably do. Let my kids
tell it, Yes I do. I still got some stuff
that I need to work out. And I'm a perfect mom.
No I'm not.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
And one thing I always tell my oldest daughter, who's
thirty eight, I think thirty six or thirty eight, I
always tell her, I said, you gotta understand that I
was fourteen. I made a lot of mistakes with you
and your brother. But one of the things I want
you to always know is that I loved y'all and
I did the best that I could do.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
I never gave you up. You never was molested, because.

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
When I had my daughter on August nine, nineteen eighty six,
I said, in that bed holding her, I said, they
would never do to you what was done to me.
And when my daughter went off to college and she
she's called me. She said, you know what, Mama, All
my friends been touched, and I feel bad because I'm
the only one that ain't got no molistation story. And
I knew I had done my duties. Now did I

(01:09:06):
know she was gonna be down at college eating all
the women?

Speaker 5 (01:09:08):
These she gas hell, she gass hell, baby, she don't.

Speaker 1 (01:09:19):
Each of you won't be eight.

Speaker 4 (01:09:23):
This concludes the first half of my conversation. Part two
is also posted and you can access it to whichever
podcast platform you just listen to part one on. Just
simply go back to club profile and I'll see you there.