Gary Owen Part 1

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What do you think sel Verry regrets putting on my dress?

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I do it well?

Speaker 1 (00:02):
No, right, That's what I'm saying. Bill. He put the
yeah the Billy. I think at one point he had
a Camelton Yeah. All my life, grinding all my life, sacrifice,
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(00:23):
all my life, drinning all my life, sacrifice, hustle bag Price,
won a slice, Got the brolle Geist, Swap all my life.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I've been grinding all my life. Hello, welcome to another
episode of Club Shay Shape. I am your hood Shannon Sharp.
I'm also the proprid of Club Shapes Shape. The guy
that's stopping buy for conversation on the drink today is
a famed stand up comedian, writer, producer, director of businessman.
He's had massive success in the comedy. As an actor
on the big screen, He's He's been entertaining audiences for

(00:53):
almost three decades Down Long Time, performed out to sold
out audience in clubs and theaters nationwide. He won the
Funniest subbish Man in America. He's the funniest Black comedian
in Sandy Aco. He's the only white man to ever
host BT comic view Black America's funniest white comedian. He's
They tell me he's welcoming any barbecue or reunion. We'll
see if that's still standing after this conversation. Ladies and gentlemen, Gary.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Oinz, how you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I'm good, bro? How are you?

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I have autism? There? You gonna cop sorry, couldn't help it.
I just self diagnose myself. Just realize it right now
it gonna be I'm sorry too soon.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
I was hoping like you get like back maybe five minutes,
see five.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Hold you out your water.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
You know I usually women brown liquor light because brown
and brown have had some bad experiences.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Yeah, but you know, hey, but it's right here. This
is my own kinde smooth. It's smooth smooth.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Everybody tell me don't drink it.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
No, I'll tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
You're gonna tell you will love it.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
You will love it.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
This is like the movie Get Out. This is the team.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
This is the team, bro.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
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Speaker 3 (03:16):
Over the last couple of years, the last couple of months,
I've seen you post a lot of stuff. You've gone
through something publicly. You went through a public divorce. How
hard was that for you? Considering that was someone that
you had loved, you have kids with. How hard was
that for you for that to see that play out publicly?

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Dude, you ate no time.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
We thought we'd start slowly, we get right, Yeah, we'll
get to the.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
I Uh, it's not something I ever thought would happen,
like a public divorce. Yeah, it's weird because when I,
when I wanted the divorce, called her. I thought we
was gonna be cool, and we both said, like, let's
let's be an example of how a divorce should be.
Then that to be like throwing stones, and I don't

(04:02):
know what happened all of a sudden, Well I do
know what happened, But what happened, I know how it
got public because I filed and I called her. I said, look,
I don't want you to be blindsided. There's gonna be
a process server coming because we had a house in Ohio,
in house California, Okay, but we voted in Ohio. We
paid taxes at Ohio. So I filed in Ohio, and

(04:24):
I filed in a small country town where there used
to like plumbers and waitresses. Divorce, it'll get out, oh
never getting out, And that wasn't the goal to get out.
So it just when I went and met with the
lawyer and said, you know, I want a divorce, and
she goes, okay, went to the They got to spent
all this paperwork and there's only two judges in this town,
so you're at the mercy of them. So when I left,

(04:46):
I thought, I just gotta not come home for a
couple of weeks because you got to be able the
homestead and things like that. And then it took like
two months. So I kept coming with these goofy reasons
why I couldn't come home, like, yeah, we're going to
add a show on Monday, other stuff, and don't do
a podcast. I'm just stalling, right. I literally come to
Lauria I out of excuses. I'm gonna have to tell her,

(05:08):
And the day I told her.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
The next day oh you you was stalling her because
she was in Ohio.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
No, she was in California, in California's Ohio. But I'm
on the road every weekend. So it was during COVID.
All the comedy clubs were half full and we were
adding shows on Monday. But then I was doing like
Wednesday through Monday at the comedy clubs. And then finally
the paperwork came in and my lawyer called me says,
they're on the way to go serve her, and I
went so I was like, I'm gonna call her. I

(05:36):
don't want to get blindsided. I don't want my son
to answered the door or anything like that. So I
called her. I said, look, I'm not happy and want
a divorce. And then she she was like she was cool,
and then she I said, look, I don't want to
my knocking on the door to surprise you because the
process servers on the way. She goes, wait a minute,
you've already met with a lawyer, and that's when everything flipped.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
I go, all right, I.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Got the ring camera on my phone, the processor he
is knocking. I see her knocking, and I go, somebody's
at the door. She had some Amazon I was like, oh,
this ain't gonna go well. And then she never answered
the door. So then the next day we're on the phone.
We're still being cordial with everything. I thought we was cool.
The next day, I'm in Naples, Florida. I get off
stage after the first show. I look at my phone.

(06:20):
That's when TMZ got ahold of it, and that's when
it said she filed for the horse against me and
in La County. I go, wait a minute. We live
in La. We lived in the Bay. So she she's
talking to me. You know, it's all fair in love
and war. You know. I stalled, I was I'm lying,
and then she went down and she filed against me

(06:41):
in La. To this day, I don't know why, unless
she wanted to play on social media because we didn't
live there. I didn't understand that play. But that's what
TMZ got ahold of bit. And that's when the narrative
came out, that that she left me, and then everything
started to coming out.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
But I thought you had had a conversation. You as like, hey,
you had a conversation leading up to you Actually finally,
had there been some some conversation or had there been
something going on?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Then the marriage that you wanted out.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
I think I was good at compartmentalizing things. I think
she was too. So you know, as a comedian, we
can leave. So if things are getting rough at the
house you're just not happy, you can get on the
road right and you just come back. So I was
very good at compartmentalizing things. Said then when the TMZ appen,
my lawyer was like, yo, you got a show. I
got another one because I'm calling her because my phone

(07:30):
started to blow up. And she goes, you can't go
on stage to night. I said, I got another show
in like thirty minutes. And she goes, look, we'rery to
process service on the way to serve you. I said,
what does that mean? She goes, well, if you get served,
chances are the divorce will go down in California. California's
to fifty fifty states. With means she can get half
your money for the rest of your life. I said, say, less,

(07:51):
this show's over, but.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
You got people paying good money to see you perform.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Getting I went up.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I went up.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Okay, but let me tell you what I did.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
I went up. I couldn't have been any farther back
on that stage because I'm going for a process service coming.
So I'm up against the wall and my head's on
a swivel the whole time. If anybody got up to
go to the bathroom, like, well, we don't play. So
then I got off and then I was on the
run for like four months. So this is March twenty
twenty one. We finally got it. Man, she's avoiding the

(08:26):
process server. I'm avoiding the process server. It's a copt
and mouse game, and I'm researching. So what I found
out was you can't in by line of work. The
two most common players at the airport and on stage.
And we've seen people get served on the stage before.
So I had I had a security with me. They
sit in the front row with my shelves so nobody

(08:46):
would know. I had somebody play it, and I said
nobody can come up. Nobody can come up, and then uh,
and then I would never find a suit I was
performing in. So after everything hit the fan, the next week,
I was in Baltimore. I flew into Pittsburgh, drove my
down to Baltimore, and at one point I stopped at
the Starbucks and his one brother was like, oh, Gary Owen,

(09:08):
he was chasing me around Starbucks. Was like, he's like, man,
I just want to pinch. I said, dude, I can't
help you today. I don't know if he was or
a process server. And my opener was in the car.
I said, start the car.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
We jumped in like bone lou Duke.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
The last thing I remember is his brother outside of
Starbucks doing this. So I'm just on the run, I
hemmed up. I ended up at the Four Seasons in
Baltimore for two and a half weeks, never left my room.
I was under Mohammed Shabaz. Figure, nobody's gonna know that's me.
They're looking for Mohammed sha And my opener was he

(09:44):
was at the Renaissance, where they thought I was going
to stay at. So he was registered under my name
because my schedules on the internet. So there was a
lot of cat mouse man. At one point I was
in Miami at the a Loft by the Air. I
poured him up for a week. I didn't know that's
like a sex trafficking hotel. Oh my goodness, I'm sitting
here going the lobby like something's not right here.

Speaker 5 (10:06):
You worried about divorce and you might be get shooting,
called him so I'm going. I had to call him.
A boy said, hey, man, I went to ay, something's
wrong here. He's like, this is kind of seedy. He
was like, you don't know what that is. That's set
traving hotel.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
I said, shut up. So I'm like, I didn't know, right.
So then at one point I went to I called
a whole high school friend. I was staying at his
house in West Virginia. I'm paying cash everywhere. I'm I
ain't on social media, I'm off changed my cell phone number,
I'm off the grid. And we couldn't get her either.
I was like, man, it's hard to get in the process.
Ever kept calling me saying, man, we can't get her.

(10:40):
So I said, screw it. Twenty four to seven of
survellants on the house. I said, yeah, we all get
her served man. And so I got this bill for
like twenty five thousand from the process server. I was like,
you ain't even served her yet. And so what I did.
I hired an outside process server from Cincinnati. Me and

(11:00):
her flew from Cincinnati to Sacramento. We get the Sacramento,
we drive over. I still got the I still got
the gate to the neighborhood. I still got the parking garage,
goes to the neighborhood. I read the parking garage, raises up.
She's not there, I said, I know her. She's at
the grocery store of them all. And so sure enough
she's pulling out a Safeway parking lot. I said, no,

(11:22):
freaking wet, that's her. So now we're far on the
highway and she goes, you gotta get down.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
She can see you.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
I was like, so I'm hop in the back seat.
So I'm riding like this. I don't know where we're going.
So then she stopped. She goes to the Panera bread
shouts out to Panera, and she got stuck in the
drive through. So she got a car in front of
her car behind her and I don't know. We're rat like,
I'm in the back seat, and the process was like
it's go time. I said, go. This ain't Jason boring.

(11:48):
So she gets she gets up to her and righting
she's placing the order. This process server was like just
next to her car. She just stood up and she
was like, you're served. I was like, oh, and I'm
on the She don't see I'm filming her. So we
got her and I bought a one way ticket. I
was fully prepared to stay long. You got to We
got her within like an hour and then I had

(12:10):
to me either get a one way ticket out of
Oakland back to back to Ohio, so immediately, so we
got it. We got in Ohio. Has some worse happened?

Speaker 2 (12:20):
How did it get so contentious?

Speaker 3 (12:22):
You have kids, y'all been together two decades. How did
it become so contentious? If this was something you both
knew that needed to happen, both wanted it to happen.
Was it because you beat her to the punch or
what trans was there was the infidelity on somebody's part?

Speaker 1 (12:41):
Oh, yeah, mine, I'm not gonna lie about it now.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yeah, but you were lied about it then, because did
you asked?

Speaker 1 (12:49):
I got caught a couple of times. It's not like
I never got caught. I wasn't that great at it,
you know what I mean? And you got to realize,
like we were together twenty three years, married seventeen. Wow,
you know she knows all my good points and bad boys.
I know all hers. Right, So I left three times
during the marriage, and the others you nobody knew, and

(13:10):
I always I always came back for the kids, like
I didn't want nobody else raising my kids and everything.
So I mean the first time, first time I left out, man,
I took the kids with me. We drove from LA
so we lived in LA at the time, to Dallas
and I got we got. We just got an argument
at Chipotle, of all places, at Chipotle, we gotta knock

(13:31):
down drag. I got to set them out, so I
had the kids with me.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
We take off.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
I'll never forget. We drove the This is two thousand
and four. This is the night I'll never forget. This
was the night the Roy Jones Anton Otarborough fight when
Roy got knocked out. Yeah, and then, uh, I never forget.
I want to see it, and that was I'm not
gonna say what the arguments over, but it was over
that fight. I want to go see the fight. And
she didn't. She didn't want you to. She not I
don't want me to go, But she wanted me to
put the kids in daycare. It's so minor looking back

(13:56):
on it, right, and I go, I'm not gonna take
in the day, declare close this. I'll be back at
five thirty. Then I'm gonna go over Reggie's house. And
wants to fight, and she goes, no, no, no, just taking
the daycare. The whole argument basically for thirty minutes that
I'm not saying I'll keep the kids all day, but
just be home at five thirty. And then she goes, no,
I don't know if I'll be home by then. So
that was an argument basically. So I got so just done.

(14:19):
I was like, I'm out. My kids are both in diapers.
I take off. I don't even know where I'm going.
I just start driving. I got the Palm Springs. I
stopped at like a Walmart and got diapers and toys
for them, and then I got the Phoenix. We stayed
all night in Phoenix. I got up next day, called
a friend of mine in Dallas. I said, look, I'm out.

(14:40):
Can I come over to your house? And I remember
she was like, where you at? I was like, Phoenix,
I'm in the car. And then we drove. The next day.
I'll never forget we got to we got somewhere in Texas.
We got the text I ain't really help Big Texas.
I got the old Pasil. I'm thinking, I'm almost in Dallas.
I know that's a whole nother day going right. I
remember one point we stopped at some ceed gas station,

(15:00):
like you're in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and my son is
I don't think he wasn't divers Now he wasn't. My
daughter was indeavers he wasn't.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
But he's he's.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
Peeing, like next to this abandoned gas station on this
dirt road. And I got that. We had a big
excursions at the time.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
I got the back.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
I'm changing the back. I see this car coming on
the road. I go, what the wait a minute, If
this car stops, if something's wrong, we're done. I was
telling my son. I was like, oh, I said, got
over here. He's running these little things.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
He's trying to pull up.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Come on, I'm holding my daughter. We took off and
I don't know if anything going to happen or not.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
But did she ever did she call the cops or
something say you had taken the kids?

Speaker 1 (15:38):
I mean no, it was no, No, she didn't call
the cops. She was uh. I called her. I left Saturday,
and then I called her Monday morning and I just said, look,
you know, it's like a arguing things like that. And
then she flew out to Dallas and she stayed for
like a day, like a week, and then we end
up reconciling. But then she flew back for the kids

(16:00):
and I had to drive back by myself because I
took you.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
You do realize this is not normal that when someone
takes the kids and they don't make contact with the
other parent for two days and the other parent don't
reach out. You know that's not normal. Gear, But she
was trying to reach out, but you just wouldn't return
to Carl.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Well, no, I wasn't. I tried to go on, excuse me, Yeah,
I messed that one up. Like I'm not perfect. I
know I'm not perfect all this and it's so random
because you know, the divorce is like we're like somebody
has to be the bad guy, right, And for whatever reason,
I became the bad guy in the middle of this divorce.

(16:36):
And for the longest time, I just I didn't say anything.
But I think now, like I'm so emotionally unattached to now,
so now I feel like I can talk about it.
What could go wrong on Covich?

Speaker 2 (16:49):
How much?

Speaker 1 (16:50):
How dotould go wrong here? Because she going respond, bro,
believe me, this is coming.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
Let me ask you a question, how much do you
think that this divorce has to do with the pent
up that she forgave you several times for your indiscretions,
and she's like, I forgave you, I forgave you, I
forgave you, and hear you as you blindside me with
this divorce.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Look, I'm not saying I did everything right at all.
I'm not innocent here, but it's I'm not ever gonna
I think she knows all my indiscretions. I know hers,
So I don't think it's gonna do anybody good for
me to like try to trash her. No, no, no, not
talk about things she did. Neither of us is perfect

(17:32):
in the marriage, Like we can go into Litney reasons, right,
So I'm just like, I guess she just felt the
need to bring up and if Flamor was like, yeah,
there was in fidelity, but she kept getting all the
girls wrong, sleep clad in Jordan or her friend, like,
I didn't do that. You're looking like that's all wrong.

(17:56):
That wasn't her for Jordan. I'm kidding.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
What she wanted forty four thousand dollars a month. The
kids have grown. The kids have grown now, right, the
kids have grown. She wanted forty four thousand dollars a
month and you like, oh, hell no, no, what.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Do you think? I said, it didn't make it look
like a bowler though, I ain't gonna lie. Yeah, you know,
you know I like, here got kick like that bakery shit. Yeah,
I was that was That was a hell of a number.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
You're at You did you think? Like, how did she? Did?
You ask you, lawyer, how did she arrive at that number?
That number? I mean, who she think?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
I mean, that's a lot, and it's tax free, yeah,
tax free.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Do the math on that forty four thousands a month
times twelve, I say half a mil. Yeah, that's like
nine hundred thousand if you think about it with taxes.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, that's a lot.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
Just think of No, think about the time in which
he's going to get that right. That part, that's what
you was thinking too, that.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Part, that part, that was a lot. Yeah. I was like,
you know, here's the thing too, like I it's funny
like I took on all the debt with a divorce too,
like you got debt? Yeah, I took all of it
and it was a lot. I talked all of them.
I said, I got it. I got it. Don't worry

(19:25):
about it, you know. So I was like I didn't
like getting drags saying like I'm a deadbeat, I'm a
deadbie dad. And then it was like I left everybody hanging.
That wasn't the case. Like I got the text, like
I literally said, hey, send me the bills. I got it,
and she was like, no, that's not how we do things.
So I was like, well, I don't know if you

(19:46):
want me to do here. I said, I'm paying off all
this debt we got, and I'm like, the big thing
was the house. She wanted to stand the house, like
we gotta sell the house. We have to. Yeah, And
I took you can say that, but you got to
pay the note on it.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well it was more than that.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
I'm gonna get into it. But there was some other
stuff going on. There was taxes involved, irs involved, right,
So I was like, we gotta sell it. We gotta
pay these dudes off, you know what I mean. So
you know, but I made sure, Listen, I made sure
when when everything was said and done and we went
to mediation, I was like, I'll take on the depth.
I'll make sure you have enough alimony that you're good,
You're really good by the way, and I was like,

(20:26):
I'll pay, I'll pay your first year of rent when
you get a new place. And we put a number
on it and it was a lot. This ain't like
eight a month. It was a lot. Right, So I
was like, I got you. I was. I'm just trying
to make.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Sure at this point time you try to keep the peace.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
All the dudes keep the peace, and I want everybody
be comfortable. I don't listen. I'm not vindictive. I'm not
mad I get into love and war, but I was.
I was. I feel like I was very generous, you know.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Saying, looking at it, I could be wrong. You didn't
have a pre nup.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Hey, no, we didn't have a prenup?

Speaker 3 (21:02):
No, why would Why didn't you because you're already a comedian.
You was already making even if you was making fifty
dollars a show, you was already making money. Don't you
want to be like if I come into a situation,
this is the way I look at it. And I've
always I tell my homeboys there, I asked them, do
they have a prenup? They say no, they say, I
ain't got no money. I say, when I leave, I
want all of my nothing I don't going fifty percent
of my nothing, So darret you already. Let's just say,

(21:25):
for the sake of argument, when you started you making
two hundred dollars a show. Yeah, you're doing three four
shows a week. That's eight hundred dollars. Like you said,
multiply that time a month, at times a year, times
away up.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Why would you not stupid?

Speaker 1 (21:40):
What do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Stupid?

Speaker 3 (21:43):
That's what love would do on my part. Would you
get married again?

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, not in California.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Would you have a prenup?

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Without question, it's gonna be pre pre pre prenup. And
there's no argument there because anytime you do a prenup,
it's like the man's point of view, yes, and the
woman's point of view is, well, it's like you're setting
us up to break up now, like and the man's
point of view is a proved food to me. You
really love me, you know so? Yeah, the prenup is

(22:11):
a required thing now you learn over time.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Yeah, don't.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
I don't get insurance on my car to go rear
in a T B one somebody, but.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
It's nice to have it.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
I ain't lining about that.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
You did a reality show, do you regret doing that
show and bringing people into your lives.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
No, that was fun. That was fun. And now the
state of mat with my kids, it's like I have
at least I have a timestamp. I can always go
back and watch that stage of their life. And you know,
because we got we got footage of them at fifteen
fourteen years old, you know what I mean. So I
don't regret that at all. And then you know, they

(22:49):
everybody got a everybody got paid. My kids got a
trust out of it that we put their money away.
They have it later on. So everything. Yeah, I don't
regret it worked out. I thought, yeah, it would have been
nice to have more seasons, right, but it was. It
was cool. I don't regret at all.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Bowl renewals Do they work?

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Because you saw we had one.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
I just as I'm just asking, I'm just I'm just
asking your research team, is.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Do they work? And why did they do?

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Is that a man's thing or is that a woman thing?
Is that something jointly who wanted to say, let's renew
our vowels? Well, our wedding was jacked up?

Speaker 1 (23:25):
What happened?

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Tell us what happened at the wedding.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
So we got We got married at the If anybody
knows Oakland, the first am in Oakland, it's the Black Church, right,
So I mean, I'm sure we'll get into my my
upbringing eventually. So first of all, we'll give to the wedding.
And I'm worried because my stepdad and my real dad
don't get along. And I'm sweating this right and I'm

(23:49):
going I got a bad I had a bad feeling
the whole time. We get to the way. First of all,
preacher walked out. He was like, I don't do it.
It's gonna start on time. So wadn's supposed to start three?
I guess we were it's like three point thirty. Yeah,
he just left, like he said, I left, I might
not be married. I got a check it. So her
like cousin Melvin worked to ups I guess he's ordained.

(24:12):
He did it. He did the wedding.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
So the the official path, Yeah, that's supposed to preside
over the ceremony because you were late.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
He's like, I'm up out of here, Ducer.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
I was late.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
You know, I wasn't late. But John Elway.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Relate to practice.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
No, he wasn't. Okay, I bet you steeve that water
was so somebody showed up late.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
Obviously the woman shows up late, but but you know,
it tasted him a little longer. Yeah, of course nobody's
mad about that. But clearly he left. He was double booked.
He had another wedding.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
The other wedding, the pay a little bit more y.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Yeah, yeah, he leaves. So I'm like, all right, we
get through that, another big deal. Then we get to
the reception. Bakery drops our cake. We got a five
tier cake. The lady I gu a slip that went down, so,
you know, the bride and room getting announced. We sit
behind his door for like forty five minutes. I'm like,
what is going on. I don't realize. Everybody clean up
the cake on the reception floor. They said she dipped

(25:13):
it right in front of the wedding table. Oh my god,
so it just went out. So then we're getting ready
to do the bouquet and the garter, and the bar
was in the other room. I grabbed my brother Dallas.
I said, let's go have a drink real quick. So
we in there just having a drink and then I
hear there's a fight, and I went I already knew

(25:33):
what it was I go out there. My stepdad's getting
dragged out.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
My biological dad's doing.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
This, and I was like, what happened? And they was
like they got a fight, Like not a fight, but
my stepdad sucker punched my real dad at the wedding. Right.
So then finally the next day I seen my stepdad.
I was like, what happened? Because the reception is basically
over at that point, right he goes he looked at me, funny,
I said what I said? He didn't say nothing. Now

(26:02):
he looked at me. Funny. I was like, you hit
him because he looked at you, because no, he wentn't
normal face. It wasn't a normal face. He looked at
me like I wasn't around with Garrett's going up, you're
white before you and and something else, and I'm still
at the wady ha ha. I said, damn, he said
all that in the face. So that's a hell of
a face. I never seen a face like that. Wasn't

(26:22):
face face that So that was a That's really why
we wanted the valven and we did it on the
reality show because I always felt like she didn't get
the wedding that she wanted. So when BT came with
the reality show. We were like, well, let's do the pilot.
Was the valve ended up being the last episode, but

(26:44):
that was the pilot, and so yeah, that was it
was cool. It was cool.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Did you think after everything that transpired, did you make
it seventeen years?

Speaker 1 (26:55):
No?

Speaker 3 (26:56):
Yeah, visits too, Yeah, you kind of doing them from
the star Well, I'm doing I.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Was doing for various reasons. If I if I'm self
analyzing myself and not to put blame on everybody, I'll
shout out to Amanda and Monique. Sorry, couldn't help us up.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
That was too easy.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
I'm sorry Comedians with list. If you're a comedian you
get offended my stuff and you say you wouldn't wrong
a lot of work, you know, you set yourself up.
But anyways, I wasn't equipped and I got married. Honestly,
looking back, I just wanted to quip a terrible upbringing.
Didn't know how to like tell myself I'm enough, and

(27:38):
at the same time, going through all this self evaluation,
I meet my ex and then we're you know, now,
I'm like, oh, okay, I could probably be a decent dad.
I could probably do this, and then I get on
BT I'm starting to get attention now from women and
I never got before. So now you're you're in rooms,

(27:59):
rinse situations and women are coming at you, and I'm
in my twenties. It's a little different.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Just say no, huh, just say no. But I pray.
You don't have to remember that. Say that. Pray.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Just say no to them tossing your salad. Pause, no,
Diddy again, Sorry going too far. I'm going it's the liquor,
that's what That's what it is.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
But it's but the social media aspect of it, because
you know, a party, you wants to defend yourself, but
then you know, you just add fuel to the fires
all you do if you do. But how hard was
it for you? Because she like bru she would she would.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
She was coming, Yeah, yeah, she was coming. Yeah. I
just shut up because I was like, one, I didn't
want to get on social media till somebody got served
because I'm thinking she's like inspector gadget. I was like,
she was knowing stuff that I was like, how did
she notice? You know? So I was like I just
stayed on social media. I just got quiet, And this
is what this is. When I knew social media is

(29:00):
in real life, and I you know, I think with
my ex she really reads the comments and takes from
the heart. Why don't you know? And she does. And
I would always tell he don't read the comments the
social media. It's just adding fuel the fire. So I
think with her it helped her because people were like,
I'm on your side, Geary, ain't. I also hurt her

(29:20):
because then when people try to come to her, she's
trying to defend herself. So as far as like social
media goes, I just stay quiet. I'll never forget. I
was in Baltimore after I've been in I've been in
the hotel for like five days at this point, right
before my first show, after everything at the fan, I
got nothing to do but read social media. So I'm
sitting there, I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna cheat here

(29:42):
and all this. I'm like, all right, I say in Baltimore,
huh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm hey. You know I'm not
saying hey, but you know, uh, I'm about forty five
minutes into my set in Baltimore and this laid in
the back goes a lovely little cheap You don't know
how bad I need to hear that right now, because

(30:03):
I'm think I'm gonna say I'm about to get booed
right because I'm reading this for five days, I'm thinking
they're about to hate me. Social social med had me
thinking I'm not invited to cookouts black people hate me,
don't leave, And then I get on stage. It's like,
I love your chat. I told that, lady. I said,
you don't know how bad I need to hear that

(30:23):
right now? You know so, But to hear that you're
a deadbeat? What's your relationship with your kids right now?
I don't have one. It's been three three and a
half years. Really, yeah, how hard is that for you?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
What do you think?

Speaker 1 (30:36):
It's a nightmare. It's like it's like they're my greatest
accomplishments and my greatest failure at the same time. Because
my daughter graduated Summa cum Loudey from her school, going
to grad school, doing thing. My son's working with kids,
and to hear how they talk about him, they love him,

(30:56):
he's paid, you know, he's I haven't seen him. So
back in November, I was back in the Bay where
he lives. So I went through his job just to
lay eyes on him because I hadn't seen him in
so long, so I didn't tell him I was coming.
I fell back. I blended him with the other parents,
and then uh, because he's working with kids. And then uh,

(31:17):
I just got to see him amongst you know, in
his in his element. And so I went on my
podcast and I said, yeah, I got to see my son.
It was nice, and I said, I'm proud of him.
It's doing good, you know. And I had a part
in that. And then our oldest, but we don't we
don't say step but our oldest. You know, he's living
back in Ohio, got a house, got a girl, just working,

(31:37):
doing his thing. So as far as like success, I
have three kids. Never got a phone call ever when
they was in school, there was a problem, never had
a problem meeting friends, never, they were never out wild.
And so we did our job as parents. But to
see how it's just crashed and burned since of divorce,
and this is all since of divorce.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Do you believe she played a role in the vibe
with your kids.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I'll say I'll take the blame because I didn't. I
didn't ensure that my relationship with them was so strong
that no matter what anybody said to them, they could
be like, no, my dad's good. So you know, I
was gone a lot on the road, right, And that's
part of there the week. Man, I don't I don't.
I really don't know. I don't want to. I don't

(32:25):
want to throw stones and stuff. I don't know. I
don't know if she's at the house and your daddy,
I don't know. I mean, I do know. Blaspheming on
social media didn't help. And then others happened. We'll get
into a little bit where my real dad didn't help.
There's other things, but it was just like I just
don't know where it got so bad, you know what

(32:45):
I mean that I'm just the like literally like the
worst human being on the planet, and I'm it's funny.
I ran into my ex last week of always on
the plane. I want a plane from Atlanta to Cincinnati.
Come on, Garrett, I ain't got no ready to lie now.
I just said, I cheat it. That's been the big
that's been the freaking elephant in the rooms. I got
nothing to hot anymore. So I'm sitting there and I'm

(33:09):
still on a plane. I go, anyway, this is happening, anyway.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
That's happening.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
I went like I mean, I was. I was in
the window, like you like a kid, So she didn't
see me. When she got on a plane, we go
to Badge game, she sees me. She comes up. We
start talking and uh. And that's when I was like,

(33:32):
you know, I said, I'm just kind of asking her, like,
you know, how do we get this right with the kids.
And then I wish I keep telling her like, look,
when they call, I'm there. I don't care if I
got to show them cancel at the minute they say, Dad,
I'm ready to talk. I'm out. I'll go to where
they're at. So when I when I talked to her

(33:53):
about the kids, you know, I told her, I said,
I just I wish you would help. It's time. It's
time because they do listen to you. Yes, enough, there
ain't there's no abuse here. There's no mental abuse, there's
no physical abuse. They had a great childhood, great private school.
Pay for my daughter's college. I mean, just stuff you're

(34:17):
supposed to do if you have it as a dad,
you know what I mean. So I'm just like, I
don't know how I became this evil human being that
they want nothing to do with. I was like, obviously
I'm not perfect. I read somewhere that somebody said, when
you go through the divorce, when kids are little, they
idolize their dad, and then when divorce happens, they demonize them,

(34:41):
and then as time goes by, they humanize them. Clearly,
I'm in the demon stage right now, but it's been
it's just been so long that I got to sneak
around to try to just lay eyes on them. Like
when the Bengals went to Super Bowl, right, I got tickets,
so I called. I texted both of them because they
when I call, it won't answers. I got a text
sometimes the response so they don't. So it's like, I

(35:03):
got tickets, I got four, you guys want to go?
And they was both like no, So I was like damn.
And then definitely just no. Not love with dad. I
had other plans that got other rais ain't ain't. I
ain't gonna say what they said, but it wasn't pretty.
And then I said. I flew to Greensboro where my
daughter was in school, and knocked on her door and
she wouldn't answer the door. And then my exident was

(35:25):
calling and was like, my role marriages with me. She
didn't know he's with me. She called my road Marriges,
and she was like, why is he at the door?
Why is he at the door.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
So she's looking at the door and to slee.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
No, my daughter called saying, So she's like, why is
why is he at the door? Yeah, and he's like
he's just trying to see her. She says, no, no,
it's not time. She's not ready. She she said, write
a letter and put in the mail.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
I go, what does people still write letters?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
This ain't nineteen eighty five, you know what I mean? Yes,
So that happened. Then I found out she was flying.
I found out one of her flights. One time. I
ran in there at the air and I was like,
I kept my distance. I didn't run up on her.
And I waved and she waved back, and I was like, oh,
I want to have a shot here. And then she
dipped in the bathroom and at forty five minutes, I

(36:10):
waited and she never came out, and I just went
So I left. And then when I went through her graduation, yeah,
they made it very clear, don't come up, don't talk
to her, don't approach her or nothing like that. I
was like, so, I don't know how at this point
I don't know how to reconcile the relationship. I'm just
I'm just letting them know that I love them, I'm

(36:33):
proud of them, And whenever they call, I don't care
where I'm at. I'm there. I've told him, I said,
I said, you know, you wanna go to Hawaii, you wanna
go Dubai where you want to go because we can go.
We can go somewhere so far away and just sit
down and have it out. So I literally don't know
what to do at this point.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
When you're looking at the relationship that you currently have
with your kids, how much of your mind replay relationship
that you had with your biological father.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
We didn't really have one growing up. He wasn't around
too much. He just kind of popped in and out. So,
like I said, I had an absentee father, an abuseome stepfather.
So that's a that's not good. I didn't know how
to be a dad. So, like I said, I don't
want to trash my my ex because when we first
got together, she had a son, and I literally was

(37:24):
like came home and dare I said, I'm gonna break up?
And she goes, what do you mean? You just like
I just moved in with her. She was like, you
just moved in. I said, I'm scared that your son
is going to look at me like I look at
my stepdad, and I'm scared I'm going to turn into him.
And she was like she does. Don't worry about it.
She was just follow my lead, tell me. I'll tell

(37:46):
you what to do and if you're going wrong, and
that's all you got to do. So I think that's
what I did for a lot of the relationship. I
just kind of did what she said when I was
home and didn't like try to rock the boat. But yeah,
it scared me. But yeah, my my biological dad, he's
a bag. Hey god damn dude, I'm so mad that

(38:06):
came out his nut sacked that.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
But you gotta have but hold on. Yeah, you're gonna
have to reconcile because.

Speaker 3 (38:15):
With him, Yes, nah, br Forgiveness is not for him,
it is for you.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
Look how you talking. Your emotions are being here hostage.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
You're not free free from that that you're not free
from your emotions.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Ma, I mean, ah, this is okay. This is a
relationship with with my real dad. So won around a
lot growing up and then he pop up every now
and then, and then you know, there was countless sundays
You're waiting on me. It doesn't show up right, and
then get older, get on TV, getting a couple of movies. Also,

(38:54):
he's coming around a little bit. Yeah, you know, he's
wanting all the perks because always said, like I always
heard people like, be care man, you have people out
there using you. I didn't realized it was my dad
the whole time because I'm blinded because I'm on the
relationship with my dad. Right. So, during the course of
the divorce, at one point nobody was served yet. I

(39:14):
flew home to Cincinnati. I want to go to a redsigame.
I gotta do something, but I can't sit in the stands.
I'm scared I'm gonna get served. So I got to
rep the works for the Reds. He got a sweep
for me, not in my name. I paid for it.
I called my buddy. Five six guys came. We had
a good day at the ballpark. Nobody took pictures, nobody
to social media posts. We just hung out. Next morning,

(39:35):
seven seventeen in the morning, I wake up. I got
a voicemail from my dad. He's like, hey, your dad,
and you don't respect me. And he's just cussing me,
cussing me out, tell me I don't respect him, and
said I'm out of your life. And is he intoxicated
this in the morning. This is seven seventeen in the morning.
Now he don't drink like that. So I was like,

(39:57):
what does He never said why he's bad. So I
get a text about an hour later, and it's like
a book. He's like, I heard you came to Reds game.
You didn't invite me. I come to expect this behavior
from you. My other kids keep me in their lives.
You don't. I'm going this over a Reds game. So
I called him and when I called him, I met
He was like, Dad, I got your voicemail, I got

(40:18):
your text, and he goes, yeah, I meant every word
of it. I was like, this ain't gonna go well.
So we started to talk and it's getting heated all right,
and the like a week before I came home, so
I got two identical twin sisters. They did like a
family photo shoot and nobody called and invited me. But
that's normal with that side, right. So because I wasn't

(40:40):
in the house with them, my sister was so much
younger than me, so I wasn't tripping. But I was like,
I would have been cool if someone would have called,
But I wasn't tripping. So when the course of him
cuts me out over Red's game, I said, Dad, you
took family pictures and didn't even invite me, And he goes, oh,
I knew this was coming. That's when I that's why

(41:00):
I that's all the time. I snapped. I said, you
your wife, family homie, and hung up on him. And
that's the last conversation we had. Then this we'll see
what he did. He start calling my ex that he
wanted nothing to do with but on my side there
in the divorce, start giving on his dirt on me
all his day and he's posting it on his Facebook page,

(41:22):
posted feet. Then he posts a picture of my ex
wife on his Facebook page and was like, I got
you back to this divorce. He's always been like a
daughter to me. He don't even like black people. He's
a Trumpet thumper. Now trump support a trump or thumper.
I ain't saying. I ain't saying he went to the Capitol,
he was at the monument, he made the trip. But

(41:44):
now he wants support a black woman.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
I will say this and I leave it alone. And
it's the same implies for your kids. That could never
be freedom without forgiveness. Gilly, your kids are not free either.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
They're gonna come a time they will and promise you.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Was I wrong?

Speaker 3 (42:06):
No, you wasn't wrong. But just because you wasn't wrong
in that instant, that doesn't mean you can't.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
Make it right.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
How do you make it right there?

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Maybe it's gonna take time, you think, I think so.
But here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
I think he has this perception of you, like you said,
because once you became someone he could excrapolate something from you.
You have this and rightfully so, him bouncing in and
out of your life, never being there being the father
that you wanted. Little do you know you became that
guy even though that was your occupation. Came one guy

(42:42):
wasn't there because you're on the road so much with
your kids, right, and they look at you the same
way you look at your father.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Interesting, that's how they're looking at you.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
But it was so I think he was there about see,
like you said, you put him through private school, you
pay for college. Those are the sacrifices that you have
to make some time that you miss out on.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
But I did listen. I never missed the birthday. I
never missed a game. I made sure like there was
time laying if they had a game. And I'm my
flying problem. I'm flying commercial. I'm getting up in the morning,
getting to an and sometimes driving to an airport that
had a hub. So I'm driving like two three hours

(43:22):
to get through airport so I can get a direct
flight to get to Cincinnati so I can make the
game and then get back to my show that night.
I go because I know what it's like to look
in the stands and I see your daddy. I know
what it's like to have like a recital nacier, So
I didn't miss stuff like that, like so to say
like I did everything in my power not to become him,

(43:43):
for to hear like they look they think at me
like that. That was my biggest fear having kids, right,
it's to feel how I feel about my daddy and
my stepdaddy. We ain't gotten to that yet. That is
my biggest fear. So to have it play out like this,
it was my worst nightmare.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Help me understand.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
I'm want to see if this is true, because I
read this, your former show opener told your wife about
some of the indiscretions you were having on the road.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Yep, that really reallygy.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, and that's the thing, Like, I get why Kevin
keeps the plastic cup boys, I get why Cat keeps
people around them. And I'm not talking about the high
secrets like cheating. I'm not talking about that. I'm just
talking about those dudes. You gotta trust because you're with
them more than your family had. You got to get
along with them, You got to be able to open
up to them, like I'm having issues at the house.

(44:35):
Those are like your therapists on the road. So this
dude that I fired in twenty eighteen when my divorce happens,
the fact that he called her and they start talking
and he started telling her dirt about me. I was like,
because we man, we's a mediation. This is like, this
is like a movie. We a mediation. And she goes, yeah,

(44:59):
lick Gary about the girls. I ain't mad about that.
And then she goes she started naming off these girls
and some were right and some are wrong, but there's
one in particular. I went, wait a minute, I didn't move.
She said, I know about this so I'm making up
a name I know about Sally. I'm going with the
white name because you know it ain't true. She said,

(45:22):
I know about Sally. She goes this dude, She goes,
he told me you fired him because you found out
he slept with her, and I went so here I am.
I'm just making movements. At this point, I go because
I'm like, wait a minute. So now it's hitting me. Wow,
she found out about this girl. That is like I'm talking,
this was years ago. I'm going through my brolodex. See

(45:45):
when she said the name, like, I'm like, oh my god,
what And then she goes, yeah, he said you fired
him because you found out he slept with her too.
So now I'm sitting like, wait a minute. She knows
I slept with this girl, and I didn't know my
opener slept with the too. So women this one mama
back right, it's so tight you can kill the soprano's flag.

(46:06):
So I was like, oh yeah, so I well, I'm
not even gonna say his name. He don't deserve it.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
And you know it had to be he had to
have told because at the time she didn't bring it up.
She didn't mention anything. About it, so she couldn't have known.
Here's the only one that knews.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
There was some information only he and I knew, right,
So I was like, but that's why he's at where
he's in his career right now? Is he find him
at a coffee shop near you?

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Is it hard being on the road and a lot
of the time you travel alone and women, like you said,
they come up.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Eight But that's Gary.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Oh he's great.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
He's been in the movie YadA, YadA, YadA, And you know,
you're like, well, you know, boy, g you know what
what it dow? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Does that get hard? Does when you say hard? Yes?

Speaker 1 (46:55):
What gets hard?

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Shot? It does? Does he get hard to say?

Speaker 1 (47:00):
No?

Speaker 2 (47:01):
It does?

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yes. It's not the easiest, especially when you grew up
like I did. Were I didn't. I didn't have attention, right,
I didn't have nobody tell me I'm great, right, you know,
so they get to get people like they like me, and.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Then damn the reasons.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
Yeah, you're like, whoa, I never got attention like this,
and that's you know, yeah, so it's I would I
would tell you even similar to the ball players and stuff.
I was like, yo, I would never I would tell
women never get made of anybody in the twenties in
the entertainment or athlete or anything I go. They got
to get out of their system. They gotta let them
get out their systems. It's just too much access to things,

(47:37):
you know what I mean. So I think it's it's
easier the older you get, but man, your twenties, Yeah,
that's hard. Now great, So how do you meet? How
to keep this is what I'm trying to do. I'm
trying to keep everything on social media because the way
it played out, because I'm seeing somebody, but I don't.
I don't want to. I don't want to blast it

(47:57):
like that, right because the internet's not good for a relationship.
And you know, until I'm right with my kids, I
ain't posting nothing else cause I feel like it's almost
thrown in her face a little bit. I want. I
want to be right with them, and then maybe I'll
be open to sharing my person.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
She okay with that, because a lot of times women
want to be posted that Hey, you hiding me because
you don't want nobody else to see. But you're doing
this for another reason, a very good reason. Yeah, is
she okay with this?

Speaker 1 (48:25):
She's okay? Yeah, I don't think she's tripping bring up
every now and then, but it's not like she's harping on.
She gets it. She gets it.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
There's this thing that's going going around. What's an idea
first day? Is it fifty to fifty? You take care
of everything. You gotta go to a restaurant that you know,
even if you get the most minor thing is gonna
be two fifty three hundred. What's an idea first day?

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah? Just I mean that's the top off the top.
You said, ideal that don't coast no money.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
That's what you want at the.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
End of the day. The ideal for a day for
a man is j just does it?

Speaker 2 (49:06):
How mean you got? I mean, okay, how much you
need after? How much?

Speaker 3 (49:11):
How much your the first day costs? If you go
out to eat, you take a lady out for a
first day, how much did it cost?

Speaker 1 (49:17):
You know? It depends on how much you make. If
you only make a certain amount of money, you can't
take her to Prime one twelve or mass stros. That's
just not the budget, right, you know what I mean?
So I think women have expectations and it is depending
on how much that man makes. In the status there's
a level of expectation and what they're used to dating, right,
you know what I mean? So I don't. I don't.

(49:38):
I think that's like that's a loaded question. So I
don't know. Just man, that's good. Women's got a different answer,
but the guy's ideal. First day?

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Did you? Were you always attracted the black women? Always?

Speaker 1 (49:56):
It's like being gay, Okay, guys know they're gay, why
they're gay. They don't know why they're gay. They're this
game right, same way. I always liked from Birst.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
So how I mean, how was it growing up where
you grew up?

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Lonely? My hands were soft and very moisturized. Tell you
that I was.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
I was a base.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
I'm ambidextrious on that. So when you first, when you
were first approached a black black lady, female woman, I mean,
we got we gotta be careful what we say here.
Some people don't like being called female. They don't be
called called women when you're a post like woman. What
did she say?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Which one of the first black girls are probably the bear.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
First, the very first one.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Were you nervous you're telling me.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
A friend on the sliver of the back girl? Yeah, yeah,
it was. It was crazy because I was in DC.
I was stationary, was in the Navy, and remember we
went over her place and I've never seen hips move
like that. Bro, Like she's gonna swell in my hand.
I was like, oh my god, how are you? We
was so fast. I was very inquisitive. He asked questions.

(51:08):
But it was so dope because when we got done,
it was so random.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
The things you remember.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
So we got done, it was just like she wing
got some orangs shoes, brought me some ore shoes, some
more shoes. I was like this, Oh my god. I
felt like the guy in the Harlem Knights come home.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
I've never cut a hole.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was wild.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
That was a wild night. And from that point on,
but I knew what I knew before that.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
I knew I like black women. This is I don't know.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
I just like, have you ever been with a white woman?

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Yeah? Ninety six met her the teacher that Fridays and
she only messed with black dudes. Friends of this day.
How she's at the Friday's had a happy hour, Yes, and
uh she was sitting there, but she had she had
a haircut. The white girls like black haircut. Yeah, it's

(51:57):
like an asymmetrical, Bob. You know, just go to any
summers I know you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
I know exactly what you're talk about.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
You'll see them at the Atlanta Hawks game. You ain't
gona see what you told Jazz. So we started, we
started talking, and then you know, I do this in
my actor I don't want to start doing bits on
your show. But long story short, the only reason she
came back to my place was to prove that I

(52:24):
couldn't handle a white girl. And the only reason I
let her come back I want to prove she han't
read for this white dude. And so it was the
It was. It was cool, it was a good experience.
But when I say, there was no four blay, there
was no emotions involved. It was like bing bing bing,
and like I and then we like, well we did it.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
You don't know the white dude.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
I never have been a white girl. So we tried it.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
And so now you got y'all.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Still she found me on Facebook years later, got two
mixed kids. I got. I knew it. I knew she
wan't like black dudes because this is like my early twenties, right,
so I knew it. We're still friends of this day.
Now friends, I mean acquaintances on face. She got to
hold me on Facebook, like when Facebook was just friends,
there wasn't a fan page. So it's just it's funny
because I mean we type every now and then and
say what's up. She's cool?

Speaker 3 (53:09):
When how did your family react when they found out
you liked black women?

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Like I ain't cool with them like that? So I
wim mom either, I don't talk to my mom either.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Nobody, no, no, you just your dad, your mom, brother.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
I know I've sound like a man of seals right
now your hair, but sorry, and I don't know man,
I don't want to bag her like that, but it's whatever. Yeah,
Mom's different though, Like I feel bad for my mom.
She's just been beat down by life. And I told
her numerous times, like I could, I could help you
and get you out of this. You just gotta leave

(53:44):
that dude hurt my stepdad, and she won't leave him.
So last time I saw my mom was May twentieth,
twenty twenty one, because my brother died. My brother died
made twenty two fifteen of a heroin overdose, and so
I didn't know one. I didn't How do I start

(54:04):
this conversation because I got to talk about my brother
to get to my mom a. So when my I
didn't know my brother was doing heroin. So this is
this is how life works. Like the universe. Man, it
picks you up and then it humbles you at the
same time. So I'm coming off think like a man.
I'm starting to sell a lot of tickets now, so
I'm making more money than ever had, and career is

(54:26):
really starting to take off. And then Ride Along comes out.
So now in the course of like a year and
a half, I'm in two number one movies in the
country and and right along to have a big scene.
But I have seen it stuck out, you know, So
life's good. My brother calls me first. He messes me
on Facebook because he never had a cell phone. I
know it is because drug AICs not good with money.

(54:47):
I don't ifi knew that. So he calls me first.
He messed me on Facebook. He goes, Gary, I'm about
to call you from this number. It's my girlfriend's number.
I was like, okay. He goes, I need your help,
and I said, let me guess money, and I remember
he texted me. He goes, he goes, I'll punch in
your I'll never ask you for a dime. And I
was like, what is the problem here? So I called him.

(55:07):
He's crying on the phone. I don't know he's about
to shoot up. He can't stop himself. So he's like,
I don't know it was my daughter. He's crying. I
don't know what's going on. He's like, Gary, I don't
want to die. I got this little girl. I can't
stop myself. And then the phone goes dead and I go,
I don't know what's going on right now. I call
right back. His girlfriend answers and she goes, he just

(55:28):
shot up. So I could hear my brother moaning in
the background. So I was like, I said, what do
you mean shot up? She goes, he's heroin. I was like, what,
so's everything's going nuts right now in my brain. So
she goes, I don't know what to do. She goes,
he's an addict, you know. And I'm like, So I said, okay,
I'm gonna call my mom and then I'm gonna have

(55:49):
her come over and get him, and I'll call you
right back. So I call my mom. I said, go
get Dallas. He didn't overdose, he just shot up, basically,
So she's all right. She runs over there and I'm
on Google now looking up heroin and rehab facilities, and
I don't know what to do. This is all within
the course like five minutes, and shouts out to my

(56:10):
ex because I don't want to act like she's just
a terrible person. She was right there with me. She
was right there looking on her computer. I'm looking online
and then we found a place called the Quest House
in Bowling Green, Kentucky. And it was like forty to
get him in there for like two months or something
like that. And so I said, all right, I called
called the Quest House. There was like, because you know,
heroin's a morning drug. You don't do it at night,

(56:32):
you do it to wake up, So this is all
going on in the morning. So I called him. I said,
I'm gonna get the information. My ex runs down to
the bank, gets cashier's check forty one hundred. My mom
picked up Dallas. I met her at her job in
the parking line and hopped in her car and we
drive him down to bowlingg GETUK. Since then about three

(56:54):
to four hour drive, get him checked in and he's asleep
the whole time, like he's not waking up, and that's
the first time I ever seen like a drug addict
in the in the midst of literally just out like this.
You see on skig row right, that's him in the
back seat right, So it's really my head up, honestly.
So then we get him down there, I check him
in and we're not a we're not a touchy Pheley

(57:18):
family like that, Okay, so that I just remember, give
me the biggest hug. And he was like, he was
like danks. And then we get him checked in and
then he wrote me a couple of letters while he
was in That meant a lot to me. I still
got him. And then he gets out and I'm calling
my mom. Why he's in, I said, Mom, this is
why I said. I got him a sponsor. And since

(57:40):
then I got him a sponsor, I was like, and
we got to get him out of Cincinnati. You can't
go back to the same place as people because you
can do the same things. So I called my guy
in Phoenix. He worked at the comedy club there, and
I'm telling the whole story and he's all right, look,
we'll get him a job.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
I have.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
We'll put him in the kitchen. I told my ex,
I told my mom. I was like, look, I'm gonna
go to Phoenix. I'm gonna stay with him, Gotta get
him his feed. You gotta get him out of that environment, right.
And you know comedy clubs on if you know this,
but usually most of the managers, it's a matter of attrition.
They either start at the door or their waitress. They
show the responsible and they become management. And it really is,

(58:16):
you know process. So I'm thinking, Okay, he can get there,
get in the kitchen working, maybe we'll get to the door.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking, thoughts are grandeur, right. So my
mom she was like, I said, I'm gonna take the
Phoenix when he gets out, and she was like, nope, nope,
she goes, you cannot take him two thousand miles away
from his daughter. And I said, Mom, do you want

(58:36):
a dad two thousand miles away? You want a dead dad?
Because that's the options right now, and she just wouldn't
do it. So I just fell back. I just fell back.
So that was January twenty fourteen. He ended up overdose
to May twenty twenty fifteen, and in the course of
that I wasn't really talking to my mom because I
did this article on BuzzFeed and they did this thing

(58:57):
called the how a white comic is one of the
top black acts in the country. That was the article.
But in the article, they asked me about my family
and I just said, literally, like my step doesn't act.
I don't really mess with him. So when that article
came out, my mom wasn't really a mess with me
because I like I talked bad about her husband. So

(59:18):
when Dallas died, the family kind of comes back together,
let everything go. And I just remember I remember at
the funeral, I ended up buying all the food for
the funeral and my stepdad, who was I can't He
never said a good word about me. He said, man,
where do the food come from? And my mom was like, Gary,

(59:39):
got it. And I just remember he looked at me
and I thought he was gonna say thank you. I
thought this this would be the first moment we have
a breakthrough moment. No, he went I just walked away.
I said, damn, he can't even say thank you for
the food. So then what happens is he's got a
daughter now, so is the baby. Mama can't take care

(01:00:02):
of them. She's not doing that great in life. My
mom and stepdad. Now they want to get custody, and
I don't know any of this is happening. I get
a call from the guardian that light, which is somebody
that represents the kid in the custody battle, and she goes, hey,
so is garyl Now it's him. She goes, are you? Said,
I don't want to give my brother's last name. Are
you Dallas so and So's brother and she asked She

(01:00:24):
goes wow. She goes, I've had like ten home visits
and there's no pictures of you in the house. I asked,
your mom did she have any kids we don't know
about and she just said, yeah, I'm my oldest left home.
He was seventeen. She goes. Somebody in her office said
you know that that's Gary Owens brother. That's his niece.
So she goes, look, I'm putting in for emergency removal,
which means she's not happy with either household. I said

(01:00:47):
what does that mean? She goes, well, she goes in
the foster care. I said that ain't happening. I said,
we got to do and she goes, well, I got
to do some home visits. But if you want to
take temporary custody, you know that we can do that,
and I'm giving the clips now first come. So she
came to my house and she was like, she goes,
I feel like this kid hit the lottery with how

(01:01:08):
we were living. And then she applied for the emergency
removal and the judge denied it because the judge was like, look,
she's not in a physical danger. It's just a bunch
of broke people. Really, So but now my name's on
the paperwork I signed and couldn't. I can't come to mom,
but like, they think you're a bad parent, So now

(01:01:29):
her name's on the paperwork. So when they when they
saw the paperwork about this emergency removal, that's when everything
hit the family. My mom started calling me, what is this?
I said, Mom, they think I couldn't tell you, you know
what I mean. So then dad got a little tense
and I said, Mom, let us take her. Let her
let us take because you can't be seventy in your

(01:01:49):
seventies trying to raise a teenager when she gets older.
And I knew the home life wasn't the bestket I
got another brother who was just not a good dude either.
He's big anyways, so they what happened is. My mom
just kind of cut me off because I wanted to
get custody. We're going to go to court, and I

(01:02:10):
just I told my ax. I was like, we gotta
fall back because I started getting some terrible text messages
and I was like, they're they're literally about to ruin
our life. They're gonna make our life hell. And I
got to look out for my kids, and I felt
bad for my niece. I couldn't get custody and everything
I said, but they were about to make our life
on both sides, the baby mama and my mom and

(01:02:33):
stepdadd and them, because they were looking at it like
I'm taking her away from everybody. I'm trying to help her.
I know what this child's about to go through with
her upbringing. I'm outlived it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
So I was like, so.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
At that point, everything was cut off and then I
was just I was just something the OUs. So then
fast forward, this is all happened in twenty sixteen May
twenty twenty twenty one. For some reason, I was back
as in Toinnattie. I knew this day passed away, so
I went to the cemetery to go see just see him.

(01:03:05):
I pull up and my Mom's at the cemetery. She's
at his head and I saw her and I parked
kind of far away, and I member she had a blanket,
and I don't know if she was wiping the headstone
off or touching his face. And she kept looking at
me and said, look at bag at her. Someone look
at me. I said, I said, oh, this is got shot. Here,
I can talk to her. So I walked up real

(01:03:27):
slow and I came up behind her and she saw
me standing there, and I was I was going to do,
was ask can I sit next to her? I didn't
think we were going to sell anything right then, so
I just went I just all I said was high
and she just started yelling. She goes, I don't want
to talk to you, and started screaming a bunch of
shs and I'm just like, I said, yeah, yeah, it's
just me and her, and she started just yelling. And

(01:03:49):
then I was like, I said, Mom, I'll leave, I'll leave,
I'll come back later, and she goes, no, no, I'll leave,
and then she's she grabbed her blanket and she goes
and she goes and I'm reading everything she say and
I hope, now you know what it feels like because
the divorce is going on right now, she'as and I
hope now it feels like when a bunch of people
on the internet say a bunch of shit about you,
it isn't true. And then she was like, this is

(01:04:10):
a really hard day for me, and then she got
in her car and sped off. Now I'm sitting there
like head spinning. But now I can't spend any time
at the cemetery because I'm worried she's going back to
tell my stepdad and my mother brother Gary's at the gravesite.
I thought they was about to come and to pick
up guns a blazing, right, So I was like, and
I mean literally, guns are blazing. So I was like,

(01:04:32):
I had a dep So that's the last time I
talked to her, seeing or anything.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Hey, come mess you this. How different is dating inter
racially when you first started doing it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Do your segue you like that that's top pier right there,
dating black women?

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
Yeah, I want to hear, because I don't know if
I've ever had a guy, white, white gentleman like yourself
that dated black women. So I wanted to like, because
I understand what it was like in the eighties for
a black guy trying to date white women and compared
to now, Yeah, is it different now than it was then?

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
I don't know. I wasn't dating in the eighties, you
know what I mean? That old, but uh, I don't know.
That's all I ever, that's all iver like I'm always
been like part of the culture. You're gonna find me
a magic city, I said, Dolly O colleyge Okay, yeah,

(01:05:35):
you go. You're gonna find me in G five kod
You know you're gonna find me to live on Sunday,
not on Saturday during the technical night. I'm going.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
I'm going where you feel?

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
What did you always feel most comfortable around black people?

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Yeah? I think I found like, quote unquote found your tribe.
I just always feel comfortable. And you know, the thing
is like, even when I was in the Navy. You know,
my bunk made his name was Copera Washington, and he
was a black guy from South Carolina. And I remember
at that time there was no Internet, so people you
had to get letters from home, right, So I got
this big swall brother from South Carolina's my bunkman got

(01:06:15):
a thick country accent, and he gives pictures and He's
like on John dere tractor. He's on a farm. And
I go, I'm looking. I go, were you go on
vacation air Copara. He was like, he goes, nah, he goes, man,
that's where I live. I go play, don't live on farms.
I'm Midwest, maybe live in the city. I didn't know
black people bailed Hay, he lived on farms. I got,
I go blatatelyw on farms and he literally he grabbed

(01:06:38):
a black dude from Misissippi, black dude from Georgia, black
dude from Arkansas, black man Obama. He goes, come here,
career here. He was, Garrett, what you just say? I go,
Black people on lyone farms? They did like to do
the right thing. They go this dude, everybody start busting
out these pictures in the country. I go, what the
mind blown? Mind blown? I was like, Oh, I am
very sheltered as far as this stuff goes. But I

(01:07:01):
can hang out with anybody. But I've always been most
comfortable and black always been the most welcoming to me too.
I mean honestly, like, yeah, my whole life, I don't
have issue. The issues I have with it could stem
from how my stepdad, and my dad was like, the
white men in my life were not the greatest. All

(01:07:21):
the black duds was cool. My football coaches, a black dude,
shouts out to Meil Edwards when the coolest guys on
the planet, You know what I mean? Like, I just
always had. All the black dudes I ever met was cool.
I never met like an as whole or treated me bad,
so to speak. Even the black guys I went to
high school with, they was cool. We didn't have a lot,
we had a couple.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
They was cool.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
Is it is it difficult when you were in your
children's life. Was it difficult raising mixed race kids? Did
you ever have a conversation to them with them about
what life was going to be like being in mixed race?

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
I didn't. Like. I didn't have like deep conversations. My
daughter's like the activist. She's the pro black woman. The
boys aren't like my two boys orything like that, But
uh yeah, my daughter she's very pro black like she
is like because man, when those when the Black Lives
Matter movement started and you had the parades.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
And marches, she was there.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
Yo, I don't know where she got a blow horns.
You're going, yeah, she's yelling like a little and she
started talking about white people. This, I go awkward, I'm
your dad. They don't care about us white devils like this,

(01:08:37):
whoa whoa white devil? She said, I'm making that up.
But yeah, she's the activist. So my thing with her
is like I'm here to listen. I just want to
and that's what's most important, Like I don't have the answers,
but I want to listen to your side of things,
and I'm always going to have I'm always gonna have
your back in situation like that, we didn't have a

(01:08:59):
lot of trying to think. We didn't have any big
racial issues of them growing up. And granted's the environment.
They grew up in a very safe, I don't want
to say sheltered environment, but it was like they didn't
they didn't have to struggle, so they weren't put in
situations where the cops gonna pull them over, right, they
weren't in those neighborhoods. Everybody know, we knew the cops

(01:09:22):
in our neighborhood. You know, one cop pulled up. I
went to high school with them. He knocked on the
door and I remember my Sonba was like there was
a cop at the door, and I was like, Mike.
Then they told me you moved in there. He's in
the house. I see you got some crown to fight.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
Right, So do you remember the last meaningful conversation you
had with your daughter?

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Uh? Like talking?

Speaker 3 (01:09:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
Text?

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
Yeah, No, just just a conversation like you and I
sitting down now, like how was your dad at school?
You know, how, you know, dating, whatever the case may be.
Do you remember that last conversation it was?

Speaker 1 (01:09:58):
It was? It was right for she went back to school.
So she was a freshman and uh god, I spent
a long time. She graduated and she was a freshman.
Uh yeah, she's getting ready to go back to Greensboro.
And we just I remember we're just sitting in the
back talking just about nothing, life and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
Your son only date white women? Correct?

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
Yeah, yeah, takes that to his mama. Well I heard
he get it from I heard now.

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
Yeah, I didn't do my job. I didn't put it on.
It's so good.

Speaker 3 (01:10:35):
I don't know if this is true, but as a
report that you just recently welcome.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
Twins, damn you know everything.

Speaker 2 (01:10:43):
Congratulations, Congratulations and one's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:46):
White ones black stop swear to God ones got blue
eyes because you can tell about the nipples and the balls.
One's got blue eyes, got these pink balls, the pink nipples.
The other one brown eyes, brown balls, brown nipples. That's dang.
I have twins on black ones white.

Speaker 3 (01:11:01):
Did you think he was going to be a father
again or did you want to become a father again?

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
That's that's a layer question. I didn't think I wanted
to be a father again, but and not have a
relationship with my kids. I was like, you know, I
hate that thing, like I'm gonna do it right this
time because I didn't do it well.

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
You don't think you did it wrong the first time.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
I don't think I did it wrong the first time.
I was very conscious of how I spoke to them,
how I we disciplined them, how there was no I
never put them down. If all the sports and stuff
they played, I was always like I was the fun dad, right,
you know, it's like it's not a big deal if
you lose. I was the fun dad, and I was
coaching some of their teams and stuff. So I almost

(01:11:46):
had it wrong. But it's twofold. Didn't see myself doing
a dad being a dad, But I think not having
a relationship with my kids, you know. I mean the
twins Dollars is awesome. I mean they're awesome, and they're
in that idolizing dads, right they're young like that, hey young,
they're like nine ten months.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
It's just happened.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
So yeah, I mean that's the same thing. That's sucks
too is my kids. They don't know them right. They're
in a relationship with them, and I don't want to
I don't want to meet them when they're four or five,
you know, So that's that sucks too.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
This concludes the first half of my conversation. Part two
is also posted and you can access it to whichever
podcast platform you just listen to part one on. Just
simply go back to Club sha Shape profile and I'll
see you there.

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Episode Transcript

Host

Shannon Sharpe

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