April 17, 2025 • 56 mins
Sharelle, and Ashley debate whether keeping secrets in a relationship is healthy, Hot Girl Summer vs. Healing Girl Era, healing from past relationship, answer fan submitted questions, and more!
00:00 - Intro
04:49 - Keeping secrets
20:28 - Hot Girl Summer vs. Healing Girl Era
44:12 - Humble Baddies DMs
50:02 - Humble Baddies Mailbag
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Get in my way, never out of My name's been
like you one and the more one is gonna be
Baby Squad.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back you guys with you
with the episode of Humble Batties.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm sure we a Risotto. I'm your girl, Ashley Nicole
and we I are humble say.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
This is our first episode without our girl Lex. She
had some business to take care of. So Ashley and
now are holding it down.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
And we got you Bill. We'll see you next week.
Y'all tune in.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Lex will be back with us, But for now you
got us too, holding it jam off the way from Nigeria.
That's just good. We have our big day tomorrow with
big wedding. Yes, I cannot wait. We already got our
dresses custom made, We got our dails ready, We're gonna
have hair and makeup.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
We're gonna have We got a.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Whole camera crew comments, so y'all can get the content like, yeah,
it's gonna be big.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I can't wait. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I tried on my dress actually, and I don't know
how you and legos do it. Like the course said,
I can't move girl, I feel like you and my
stomach is pushed down, like, how did y'all do this?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Should I hold your breath and just stand there and
be q But Ashley.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We're gonna be there from three tonight. And you know
how the Nigerians party. Yeah, you can't sit down and
you dress, I can't sit down? The dresses long? How
many use the bathroom like? It's a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I didn't think about the bathroom part. I didn't think
about that. Yes, Okay, we'll figure it out. Don't worry.
We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna hear it out.
But but make sure y'all stay tuned because we are
gonna give y'all love content on what's going on and
how the ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen in Nigeria get down
when they get married.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, because it's a whole vibe and I'm here for it.
I am wit to show y'all. I can't wait to
share everything from tomorrow. I'm excited. So let's get into
it until tomorrow, y'all stay tuned. We're gonna get into
our first topic today. Your man, your secrets, should your
bessie know it?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
All? That's a good rue, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All right, y'all, let's be real. Relationships can get really messy, emotional,
and sometimes hilarious. But when things happen between you and
your man, do you keep it locked down?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Or is your bessie the first to know.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I'm guilty in my previous relationships that I have talked
to my bessie about things that happen in my relationship.
So tonight we're diving into loyalty boundaries and sometimes blurry
lines between friendships and romance. So what are the rules,
if they're any Before we get into it, We're gonna
have a spiller chill.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
It's basic kill.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It's basically okay, I'm gonna ask a few questions or
would you spill it to your bessie or keep it
on locked Okay, let's dome. So it's just a little
icebreaker before we get into the topic. All Right, he
gave you the worst birthday gift ever. You're gonna tell
your friend or you're gonna chill out on it. I
tell my friend because you know why, my friend could
(03:28):
help him next year in getting the appropriate gifts.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You know what I'm saying, Like, I feel like maybe.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
He just need a little bit of help and I
feel like that's not that deep, so I would definitely spill.
Tell the bestie to help help help my man, Please
help help him out, So help fill out, please Lord.
I remember that happened because you remember it was Serenity's
birthday and Phil brought the boys to check E Cheese
and we were talking to some of you like, pie,
(03:54):
don't got me these shoes, and I didn't like it.
I really wanted and then I threw it hit. I
threw a hit to feel I was like Phil, I
had on the shoes. I was like, Phil, actually really
want these shoes right here. Yeah, girl, Phil is someone
who needs some I'm definitely spilling to the best seat,
go help fill out because.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
He don't be knowing. He don't be knowing. God bless you.
I feel like it's the guy.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Sometimes they just do whatever, like and unless you tell them, hey,
this is exactly what I want, Yeah, they just whatever.
I feel like that's something though, that you know, it's
okay to tell the bestie, you know, when it comes
to the rules and what you doing don't like. I
feel like that one is a good one we get
(04:41):
to go with. Yeah, okay, what's next, what's the next?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
One. Oh, this is a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
He accidentally calls you by his exist name while having sex.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
What should I say, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Out of jail because what Yeah, no, that's unexactable, and
I know I would be too.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
That's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Honestly, I'm not feeling that because quite frankly, I'm embarrassed
that you would even do that, and like, now I
need to figure out our whole situation, like why are
you thinking about her?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Why is she on your mind?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Like it's so much stuff I gotta go through in
my mind, Like I'm not I'm not spelling that. I'm
not spelling that. That is definitely embarrassing. That's something that
I definitely would not say. Have it ever had well
or a relationship? Really no, thanks, never ready for me. Yeah,
(05:48):
we were not spelling that though. M that's embarrassing. Absolutely,
that's great. Yeah, okay, all right, well we just we're
gonna chill and keep that one to the side.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
He gives you screens last minute gas station grab.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, I'm probably spelling because why ew I gotta tell somebody,
I'm upset, you know what I'm saying, And I don't
want to be like the nagger and sound ungrateful to him.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
So if I.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Gotta you know, nag and you know, be upset, I'm
gonna tell Bessie and let her let me vent real quick. Yes,
you know what that happened to for not the gra
gas station grab with your girl station, some.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Gas station flowers. Oh no, it was so embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
No, no, I didn't like flowers. It was the worst.
I ain't even been to put their business out there
like that, but it was horrible.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Mm hmm. I'll tell you after we get off this.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Okay, Well, yeah, guys, do not go to the gas
station to getting off, not for nothing unless you're filling
up our tanks.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
We don't need nothing.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's from the gas station. Okay, gas station exactly. I
don't pick us up nothing. We don't even need to
see the gun.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
No, I'm thank you, I'm good, thank you, No, thank you.
It's a sex game. Is horrible? You spelling or you chilling?
Ooh horrible.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
I will probably chill until I just am good on it,
you know what I'm saying? Like, I won't sell my
best sie immediately, but at some point I gotta spell
because girl, ah, not him coming over here with this
weak ass sex game and he probably think he all
that and a bag of chips, like absolutely not no,
(07:43):
and you will.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Be the main ones. Let me the main one.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
They here adding like big dig mg and it's not given.
So no, have one little sorry little move. It is horrible. Yeah,
real bad. We're spelling. He's spelling. We're spelling all of that.
It's definitely okay, let's get into it. Do you think
it is healthy healthy to share everything about your relationship
(08:07):
with your best friend?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
When is it? When is it okay to vent? And
when is it crossing the line? Child?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I mean, I feel like your best seat is special.
So I feel like there are things that you can
literally share with your best friend that you can't share
with your husband, or that you can share with your husband,
but it just won't hit the same, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
What I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Sometimes you're looking for something in a conversation with you
know someone, and your bestie is the only person that
can really you know, meet you where you're at, you
know what I'm saying. So I've learned that, you know,
I just try to when it comes to like relationships,
stuff like if it's between me and feel like specifically
(08:56):
if it's something that I feel like, you know, you
wouldn't want me repeating to anybody else. I definitely wouldn't
share that, you know, if it has something to do
with you know, our personal business, I'm not sharing that.
But also I think there's it's smart to have like
other married friends because sometimes they're going through like the
(09:17):
same things that you're going through and keeping those things inside.
You know, it could be a disservice when your friend
might have gone through the same thing as you, and
you could easily just like let them know, like, hey,
this is where we're at, this is what's happening. But
you got to make sure that those are the right
people for you and the right people that you can
confide in. So I think it's just like a slippery
(09:39):
slope with who you decide to like share your business with.
But overall, I think that it is probably not the
smartest idea to share like everything you know you.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Really got to it's certain things you know that's true.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I feel like you know lesson learn For me and
my previous relationship with or Chad, I was betrayed by
a friend where you know, they ended up messing around
because I over shared too much information and Brian, Yes,
my ex and the friend had a whole situation yet
(10:17):
oversharing information. And it's like, like you said, you have
to be careful who you share your stuff with because
every friend you can't treat the same. So I felt
like going through that it created me to not trust,
not to be able to open up to my friends,
because I took what she did on everyone else and
(10:37):
it put a guard up.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
It's like, I'm very I have I have a guard.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yes, I'm very guarded when it comes to who I
talked to about, you know, my personal relationship or it
was hard to get over, Like it's something like you
would never think that someone so close to you that
you call your friend that you and would portray you
and go behind your back and do things when you
went into them about things you went through. I think
you do have to guard your relationship though, like you're
(11:09):
supposed to protect your marriage, you know, and so you
aren't supposed to go out and just be sharing everything
Lily Nilly, you know, not even with your.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Best best best best best friend. They don't need to
know everything.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
But I do think you know, if there's something that
you're going through and you seeking advice and you feel
like this person, like it's somebody you can confide in
and then you can trust and yeah, absolutely, but we
have to be very careful. You're supposed to protect your relationship.
Your relationship with your husband is everything. So I'm sad
you went through that, because girl, it was that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
And I was pretty asked like what happened? Like how
do you move?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I tried to called my I called my sergeant. I
was like, y'all gonna have to bail me out of jail.
I was pregnant. I went over there, got to kick
down the door that was in my heyday. I was
still in the military. I was like, you know what,
I have so much going on. I can't risk what
I have going for this foolishness. But it was a
(12:13):
lot to get over. Yeah, I bet that's a lot.
That's crazy. Yeah, okay, let me ask you what about
the opposite, Like what about telling your husband things that
you and your best friend have talked about?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Like do you exactly? I feel like it's rules to
that too. It is.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I cannot pillow talk because I'm speaking from experience. When
I was younger, I used to pillow talking and say
things that went on in my friendship lives and they
start to look at them different, they start to judge them,
and it's like, at the end of the day, this
is my friend, but they assume that you're going to
do the same thing that they're doing because you pillows up.
(12:55):
So's I wouldn't do it anymore at the age that
I'm met, I'm at now, what goes on with my
friend life is her business. It's not you know, my partners. Yeah,
I agree, I don't. I don't like to kill it
talking I have. I feel like I have friends who
tell their husbands everything, and so then it makes me
(13:15):
cautious about what I share with them.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
It's like, well, wit a minute, because you know you're
gonna go back and tell your man.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't want him looking at me crazy, and I
don't want my conversation to get out to nobody else.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I don't know who we talked to, you know, like
it's just too much.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
So then it's like, damn, that kind of messed up
with our friendship because I can't really open up to
you like I want to. But yeah, I definitely. It's
so many relationships. I'm sorry, go ahead, now, go ahead,
go ahead. It's so many relationships that have been ruined
just from pillow talking. It's like people don't understand, like
(13:52):
you have to draw the line and there has to
be a boundary set when it comes to you and
your friends discussing information about you know, your partners and
vice versa, and discuss the information about your friends to
your partners.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I saw, it's not even a turn on for me.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Like if it was to sit down and want to
have a whole conversation about like girl shit, I will
be looking at him sideways like why are you interested?
And what me and Shesha was talking about like h like, no,
this is girl business, this is girl drama, Like why
do you care like that? And I will say sometimes
I do get excited and I'm like no that's but no,
no d the night, and you just be looking at
(14:29):
me like.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I'm not here curious exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
So yeah, I feel like men need to stay in
men's you know, business, don't be in the women's business. Okay,
it's not second. I don't like that at all at all.
Have you actually have you ever regretted telling your best
friend something about your man.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yes, yes I have, but not actually we weren't married yet,
you know. But that's the thing too.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
It's like, you know, I didn't know I was gonna
end up marrying this man and told all the man business,
you know what I'm saying. So it's like, yeah, I mean,
I've definitely regretted. So you just have to be careful
because now me and her are not best friends anymore,
you know what I'm saying. So it's like, now they
got information that I don't wanted them, you know what
(15:31):
I'm saying, repeating, and it's just like, you know, so
you gotta be careful. I wonder how it is, like
we always it's easy for us to vent to our
best friends in regards to things that are going on
in our relationships, but we never looked at it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Like how would a man?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
How would we feel if our male been it to
their best friends about us, Like would you take it
some type of way? I think Phil Diddie, then I
think he probably has. I feel like I've stressed him
out to a point where he's needed to vent. But
(16:16):
I don't know why he's been to them because I
don't feel like they can give him good advice, so
whatever they tell him, they don't even matter. But I
think it's I think men should though talk to their
guy friends because I feel like they don't normally.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I feel like they try to keep things in. They
want to be a man and not vent.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
And open up, and I feel like they should get
it off your chest, you know what I'm saying, Because
I call my friend real quick and be like, girl, forget.
Phil is getting on my nerves so bad. He over
here and getting on my nerves, Like you know, I
do that all the time, and I feel like, I
know I could be annoyance. So I feel like, you know,
Phil should probably go bent to his friends every now
(16:55):
and then when I get on his nerves.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I mean, it's for his mental health, you know what
I'm saying. I would rather.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I would definitely rather for my partner to ben to
his male friends than to anyone else or a stranger
or a female or whatever, because.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
No, definitely not a female.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
It's it's hard for man. First of all, it's hard
for man to communicate. They don't like communicating about what's
going on in their relationship. They would rather hold it in,
and I feel it just gets worse but to just
let it out even if your friend can't. Don't even
give you any advice, but for him to for him
to be able to let yeah, it's a thing.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
It's yes. So I'm not mad if you know.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, my partner, I said, my partner, like, I gotta
part You got a partner.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
What's the next subject? Girl? Looking into that later? What's
the next one we got to get into?
Speaker 2 (17:56):
So all right, son, we got we're talking about Hot
Girl Summer versus Healing Girl era?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Which one are you ran? Charrell? Sharrellica? But that's my
new name, Shirrillica. Which one you there?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I think I'm transitioning from a little new Girl era
to a Hot Girl Summer to New Girl Ara.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
It's like a roller coaster ride for me because just
a couple of weeks ago and he was like, I'm
not dating, I'm not doing.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Anything, and I need here. I needed to heal Ashley. Okay,
So so your parents are healing, you're Healing Girl era,
and now you're in your Hot Girl Summer era. I am, okay,
tell me more, tell me more, so then sign me
you're dating you outside? I started outside and and you
(18:59):
know outside, I just can't be outside outside, it's not
for me. Okay, okay, that's not for me, all right,
it's that So are you outside living your best life
or inside journaling and drinking tea with your crystals. Today
we're talking hot girl summer versus healing girl era and yes,
it's okay to be a little of both, which sounds
(19:22):
kind of like you.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Sirillicalla good.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yes girl. Okay, So here's the game. Is it hot
or healing? Okay, so let me know. Number one, blocking
your ex after a glow up photo photo drop.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Is that hot or healing? I ain't gonna block.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
If I have a glow up photo drop, you gonna
see all this greatness over here.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, you need to see. You need to see.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
You need to You're gonna get that hot girl energy
without and so that's hot. Yeah, I think that's I
think you should though. I think like when you go
through a breakup, you should like get a new hairstyle.
You know what I'm saying, go to the gym like
start you know, getting back into yourself and then post
(20:17):
that shit.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Pop out. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I'm times you gotta pop off and show period. Okay,
I agree. So that's hot. It's hot and healing. That's
the healing too, Yeah, I think so. All right, saying
no to plans to protect your peace? Is that hot
or healing?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Healing?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I would go with healing for that one. Yeah, that's
definitely healing. I need to I mean, I'm not going
through nothing, but like I feel like I need to
learn to say no. I feel like that's be saying
that yes to a lot. So that's something I need
to work on this year.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
That's the same. It's hard for me to say no
because I'll be like, okay, me.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Too, Yes, Okay, I'll come to Nigeria, Sure, no problem,
I'll be there saying that it's just a quick flight, okay,
all right?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Looking a solo trip after a breakup? Is that hot
or healing? Healing? That was me?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, I was going through killing stage. I was just
booking trips. It still is, which is why I'm in
the predicament I'm in right now, having to be over
here in Nigeria and go to the embassy to get
emergency passport. Is that like you might be a little hot,
hot hot.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
If you gotta do all that, Okay, but it's heeling
and hot all right, it's given both.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I meaning I think healing can be hot, Like you
can be out, you know, trying to find yourself, and
that could consider being hot. But it's a part of
your healing, right, Some people heal differently, some people to
be outside, you know. So, but do you really think
that's healing or is that just being outside? Because I
(22:08):
feel like being outside is just a cover up, a
temporary fix for you to get try to get over
what you're what you went through. But it's not healing
what you went through. It's just at the end of
the day, once you come back inside, you got to
deal with what you've been facing. Yeah, for sure, I
(22:28):
think that could definitely be a cover up and not
dealing with your problems. But sometimes I feel like people
who like hide inside are doing like more, you know,
it's it's hurting them more more.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, that's true. Sometimes people don't lean on other people.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
They end up, you know, afraid to meet new people
and guard their heart and you know, aren't open to
you know, just meeting new people on new opportunities. They
just completely shut down. I don't think that's healthy either,
you know what I mean. I think, you know, it's
probably a balance of the two that's needed.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I feel like for me, I can't be on the
inside all day, like I'm a people person.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I have to be around people.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And you know, going through what I went through that
I felt like traveling, just traveling, just getting out and
the world with it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
It was very therapeutic and it helped me a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
It helped me learn who I am and just learn
what I wanted in life and in a relationship and
not being able to settle or compromise for things just
because this was good. But my value was in this
and this is what I wanted from a man more
than this.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
So it just made me.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Reevaluate what I wanted in a relationship. So do you
feel like, would you recommend like traveling and dating abroad?
Is that something that you would say made you open
again to the possibility of dating and finding love again?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
So what made me open to dating? First? I had
to heal myself.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I had to make sure, you know, I was good,
I was here and I wasn't bringing any negative or
insecurities into you know, anything new that I decided to
get in I did fasting. You know, I got back
into my Bible. I felt like I was pulling away
from from God and just you know, fasting, getting getting
(24:45):
back closer to God and focusing on work traveling. That
just cleared my mind and cleared my head spacing and just.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Gave me more.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
More motivation to get out there and say, you know,
you can do this. It's not the end of the world.
You don't stop just because of this relationship end it. Yeah,
And there's so many people, there's so many beautiful, amazing
people out there that's gonna, you know, give you what
you want, treat you how you want to be treated,
or even better. So after I heal myself, I decided
(25:17):
to you know, I was traveling and.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You're testing the waters. I'm testing the waters a little bit,
and I'm.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Liking these waters. I'm liking this this temperature over here.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Okay, okay, But your breakup is still there, like relevant,
like they still post like your ex and you like
I just saw on Hollywood unlock like couples that you know,
which couples would you like to see get back together?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And I see your face.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
And your ex. So how does that make you feel?
Like do you think that does it make you rethink?
Like maybe you know you could get back together or like,
how does that make you feel? I feel like, you know,
I don't know what the future may bring. If if
(26:11):
if it was meant for us to be back together,
then it would happen. If not, you know, I wish
my exodus, and of course you know me to move on,
but no, no, ILL will over there. If it happens,
it happens. If it don't, it don't. I feel like
we still see a beautiful child.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah you really.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I mean they're handling this whole thing with grace because
the people be coming for you.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
They be coming for you on the end, and they
but to the outside shell. So you can't.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
It's not for me to fight what people think, right
what they assung?
Speaker 1 (26:50):
So I agree.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
So how do you feel is different because obviously like
you're open, you're traveling, So how do you feel it's
differenterent dating people that are not in the United States?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Like is there a big difference? I think it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
On this question because I'm living through you right now
and the people want to know.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I want to know. I'm the people.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
So I feel like the interview, what happened to this bit?
Look at that table, baddies, So we.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Want to know.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
How is it dating men that are not in the US?
Is it different?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Is it better dating? Amen? Dating Amen? Okay, dating amen?
Not in the US.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
You, I mean, it's beautiful, it's something different, Like it's excitement.
Of course, every new relationship or a situationship is exciting
in the beginning. But it's just it's something different. It's fun,
and I feel like it's we're just both enjoying ourselves.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I'm having a good time.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
But what would you say is the the difference in
like there is it their culture, their customs, how they
like treat you, how they talk to you, Like, what's
a major difference that you would say between the two.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I feel like.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
They are raised to know how to treat and cater
to a woman like my My biggest love language is
you know, sharing with gifts, affection.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
You know, touch, and you're getting all the above, all
the above. Yes, that's beautiful. Okay, this is very big. Okay,
I can't complain right now. I'm enjoying the moment. Yeah, well,
I love that for you.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I mean I think, I mean, I'm watching you and
I'm living through you, which and we just put all
my business like here, I wasn't ready for this, Ashley,
I was not ready for this.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Did be talking about I felt like he was. I mean,
the people want to know. I want to know. So
it is what it is. Child.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
We could talk about something elseide, we don't got to
keep talking about your ex.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And is y'all gonna get back together? We can move forward?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Okay, that's where we Yeah, we want to bigger, better things.
It's beautiful. We're in new countries, you know what I'm saying.
And I'm accurate traveling. I'm traveling. I'm going to South
Africa next and then yeah, and then back to the state.
See and y'all going all over the continent. I love that.
(29:43):
I feel like we match each other energy. We both
like the same things in life. So that and he's
a business very business saddy, so so y'all we're just
very very compatible. He's marking off all the checks on
all the boxes. Okay, all right, I love that. Okay,
(30:05):
back to the humble batties now.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
For lady. I'm gonna be sure. I'm sorry, I'm just
the people like girl.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I'm over gonna take to you like the people wanted
to know.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Okay, you day, all right, We'll we got next.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Let's see, so you ask me all these questions we
were supposed to be talking about.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
What is girls summer really? Very thank you for getting
me back on track.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Sorry, okay, okay, So what is the hot girl summer
really about?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Versus what is the healing girl era? Well?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I mean, I feel like you kind of skipped over.
Really you didn't have a high girl summer. It ain't
even summer yet, Like you ain't even have that. I
feel like you had your healing time which I saw
like you were really like, no, I'm not dating nobody,
you know, I need to focus on myself. Like you said,
you you know, got back into your Bible.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You was fascinating. Those are all like very.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Healing things, and those are things that I feel like
we should all do like on a regular Like we
don't have to be going through nothing to get back
to those things. Those are like important things that we
should just always be doing. There's always something that we
can heal from and you know, gain from that. But
hot girl summer though, it's fun and I'm looking for
(31:40):
them friends too.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Where y'all at? Where my homegirls?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
I just want to have a hot girl summer cause
I'm be living through y'all too Listen, I feel like
you can still have a hot girl summer with your man. Yes,
I feel that way. I feel that way. But I
think it's different when you're single.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Though. That's true because I had a few.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Times while I went out and I had the little
girl's trips while I was going through my hail and
error and we've turned up.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
We had a ball.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Yeah, But it's just I feel like it's just too much,
like it can be draining it as well, just having
too much spending too much time on a hot girl summer,
because you gotta understand, you lose focused, like try to
be out here. To me, I'm all about business. Like
I feel like I ain't making no money. I can't
(32:28):
be out here having a hot girl summer too much.
I'm missing out on money. I can do it every
you know, test the waters. But I got to rear
behind back in, like let me get back to this. Yes, yes,
I agree, it is a distraction. It is a distraction.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
It can be detrimental if you don't.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Real it back in, But I ain't mad at it. Okay,
So what about stupell types versus reality?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
But as a stereotype of but Hot Girl Grammers.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I feel like the stereotypes of Hot Girl Summers. People
think that, you know, it's all glitz and glam, like, oh,
you're just out here living your best life. I wish
I could just be like you, like you have no
worries in the world. Like when I did test the
waters for my Hot Girl Summers, I still had to
go back and take care of things back at home.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
So it's like.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
What glitter's not is what glitter doesn't it's not gold.
So you me showing out for Instagram, Oh I'm out
here partying this.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
That, and the third.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I still have a lot of the shit I have
to handle, and that's what people want to realize.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
If people can look at it and think like, oh,
she's having so much fun, like they broke up, but
look at her.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
She out she's having a great time.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
But you still got to go home and be by
yourself and like think about, like, you know, what are
my next steps? What is it that I really want?
Like reality sets in and it gets real, yes, and
I feel like you do, Like I'm not gonna lie.
I'm going through it. I went through emotional roller coaster,
like I'll be outside, but then it's time to come
(34:13):
back in and I'm in my bed crying, like I
ain't got missed this, like what you know, To be honest,
I was going through all that. Yeah, and it's not easy,
But just being outside is not gonna heal what you
went through. Yeah. Canese eras co exist or do they clash?
(34:35):
They definitely clash. Yeah, that's what I was saying. I
was outside, you lonely in that bed, like, yeah, well
then it takes late at night.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I feel like I mean, you know, I'm obviously not
going through a breakup or nothing, but I feel like
I still have my moments of like.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
When I need healing and when I want to be.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
A hot girl, you know what I'm saying, Like sometimes
I just want to be at home in my backyard
in the sunlight, you know, just taking time to myself.
You know, I need to just regain my energy and
regain and remember like who I am, because I've been
(35:22):
out in the world so much, and you know, I've
been focusing on other things that aren't necessarily I would
say like who I am deep down inside, Like when
I get out and I'm you know, going out to events,
going to parties, you know, showing up to places and
being around all different kinds of people and energies. It
(35:43):
takes a lot out of you. And at the end
of the day, I come home and I just feel depleted.
And so after like you know, weeks of that, sometimes
I feel like, girl, you need some healing, you need
to go home, you need to go to church, you
need to be around you know, certain people who you
know fill you back up.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
So you know, right now, I feel like I'm kind
of in both.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I feel like I can take a little bit from,
you know, my healing era and my hot girl era,
and right now that's all I be needing one man,
and I need a little this, I need a little that,
and I'm good to yep. Basically, yeah, yeah, I have
a good yeah exactly. So That's where I'm at right now,
and I feel good about it, and I'm appreciative that
(36:30):
I have, you know, the support system to be able
to do that.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
And whenever I need to take time for myself, I can.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
But I think, you know that's women. We need to
do both at all times. I think we need to
at all times be in some kind of do some
kind of healing, and we need to do something where
we're just something that excites us, something that's like girl
spontaneous and fun and brings us back to you know,
not everything needs to be so serious and just half
(37:01):
of the time.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, you said, I feel like you know you're gonna
go through what you go through, but there's a balance
for everything. You just have to be able to make
sure you balance in it, right.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah, balance is important. I don't want to get kicked out,
peel put my ass out if it be too much
hot girling exactly. Look, I'd be like, actually, make sure
feel know that we are good.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I don't want him to say yeah, but a shout
out to feel Phil be Phil is a real one.
We were talking about this today, like Phil, don't make sure.
He's gonna make sure you're good, you safe, everything, what's
going on, how the surrounding is.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
But he gonna let you have your your girl time.
He do he doing big deal? Uncle til yes, Yes,
all right.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
So when outside isn't the answer, let's talk about the
pressure to always be one.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
In the summer, I feel.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Like summer comes around and everybody's like, where are you
traveling to? What are you gonna be doing Let's get
about this weekend, Let's do this this weekend, Let's go
to this party, let's su and I just feel.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Like, whoa, Like that's a lot, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
That's what I was thinking. I haven't experienced that yet.
Like really I did a like for the summertime. This
is gonna be my first summer that you know that's
gonna be like that. But I just like to do
my own thing.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I feel like it's too much with trying to keep
up with everybody trying to be on. You know, I
don't like taking pictures. I don't like being out there
like that. So I think it's just this time is
gonna be me. If I want to be on, it's
going to be because of me, not because of you know,
people trying to bring me out or whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I'm a balance.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
It too much summer for me, ain't It's I'm gonna
fall off the map.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Yeah, I can't do I agree. Balance is key, all right?
Speaker 2 (39:10):
So when do you know when it's time to pause
the party for personal growth?
Speaker 1 (39:17):
When the money starts slowing down?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, that and you see a change in you, Like
all the great values that you bring. You see a
change in your business, you see a change in your income,
you see a change in your family life. Like that's
when it's like, Okay, it's time for me to focus
more on on my personal growth because what I'm what
(39:46):
I'm putting my energy in, is it the wrong things?
Are in the wrong things?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah? Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I mean I feel like you can feel it too inside,
Like it's something inside of you. You start feeling different,
you be knowing, and sometimes we ignore those feelings. And
we gotta start paying attention to those because those are
the things that's gonna save us every time. Like we
need to listen to our gut, listen to our instinct,
listen to the you know when we hear that, like, girl,
(40:16):
you need to go to church?
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Of church?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Does God talking to you? You know what I'm saying.
We need to listen to those things, all right. So
what's one thing you're doing this summer for your soul
and one thing just for the vibes? Ooh, one thing
that I'm gonna do this summer for my soul. You
(40:42):
know what, I'm gonna bring all my family together. I'm
going back to Columbus and I'm gonna bring all my
family together and just celebrate and you know, you know,
just have fun, spend that time with my grandmother. She's
getting older. I just want that family time, that family vibe.
I was looking at old p and I posted a
few on Twitter, and I was like, I missed this
(41:04):
time and I just feel like just going back to
the roots spending time. Because I'm a family person. I
like to be around my family. I like to be
around people. I just want to have that energy back
just being able to catch up with all my cousins,
my aunties, my grandmother and just having a good time.
So this summer, I plan to take a trip back
home and get all the family back together and just
(41:26):
have a good time.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Okay, and then maybe we'll come and for one thing.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
For the vibes, I'm gonna do a trip with the girl,
some myself, chat daughters. They steal my babies and my
daughters and my niece.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
We're gonna go to Dubai, Okay do why yeah? Yeah yeah,
see yeah, you gonna do a little pot Okay. I
love that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Well, I'm going to for my soul. I feel like
I've already started, Like you know, I got my chickens.
So I got ten new little chickens, little baby chicks,
and I'm getting a fabulous coop manchiin built for them,
and to mention that you're living in absolutely only the
(42:19):
best for my babies. And I feel like this is
me just getting back to who I am. You know,
like I am very much like I love animals, I
love being outside, I love nature, and I feel like
I've kind of gotten away from that, and you know,
I try, you know, I tried to do things here
and there, but I really need to put more intention
(42:42):
into that because that's really who I am and that's
what really brings me joy and happiness and peace. So
just me starting my own little not I'm not gonna
have no whole farm, but this is like the beginning
of me getting back to who I am. So that's
what I'm gonna be focused and on this summer for
my soul and for them. What else, what else you're
(43:06):
gonna bring to the to the backyard, Astley, Because I
got a feeling you're gonna bring some goats or something. Yeah,
they don't know it yet, but I would love to
have a little baby goats. I would love to get
some swans. I'm st there, just goats and swans. That's
like the next things on my list black swans. Oh
that's gonna be cute. Yeah, okay, So that's for my
(43:29):
soul and for the vibes. So I want to actually
I can't say that because it's a surprise, but if
you're probably watching, Yeah, so I got some things, you know,
coming down the pipeline, some ideas that I want to
do for the vibes. The vibe is gonna vibe regardless.
(43:50):
I really need to focus on the soul part and
make sure I get that down first.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So that's where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Okay, Okay, it's storming here. You hit all right, girl, Yes,
I hear it?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Crazy all right. Our next topic.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Our next topic is we have a segment where we
ge get DM questions from our fans and the v
a DM.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Every week we're going.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
To start taking questions bear our stories. So if you
have any questions, make sure you follow us on ig
Humble Batty's podcast to ask your questions. Our producers will
randomly picked five questions for us to respond to.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
So let's get into it. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
My name Hatha Dean Forest Ashley, I'm not reading this.
Can we skip past it?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Skip and shit? So hold on, I don't want this
to die. Say it's not charging. I'm let me make
sure I'm good. All right, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Not the camera following me? Okay, all right, I'm ready.
What's the question, Charelle, I see you are living your
best life. How were you able to move on and
live life?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
I think I answered the people want to know. I
think I answered that.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
I mean I took time out to here and focus
on me, you know, and now I'm living.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
That part I am.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
It's real good to y'all. Okay, we already answered that one. Okay,
not a question. But I tried the pop rocks and
he loved it. Oh not the cop rocks. You done
got the people on the cock rocks. Sure, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I got so many DM saying thank you for the
pop rocks.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Like, I'm surprised people didn't know about the pop rock streak.
I don't know. I don't know if I like the
pop frocks. Oh, it's too much going on.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
It was like.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
The con the trade, Like I'm not you may it
should have pop out.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, it was a lot. I was like, oh, this
is a lot happening. You can't when you're a beginner, Ashley,
you can't put too many. You probably put the whole
pack in your mouth, thinking you're fit to do some tricks.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
I shouldn't it that. I shouldn't it that.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
They put the whole pack? Okay, well, nobody. It wasn't
all directions on the thing.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
It didn't say.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
No weather totally. But I'm glaud to work this person.
They loved it, all right.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Please share with us your worst day ever. You got
a worst day.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
I went out on a day a long time ago,
and the guy called decline and he was getting sweaty.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
I guess he thought the money here. This was when
we was in the military.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Where you know, uh, you get a pay to day
early yep, And he thought that, you know, his his
money hit and the money didn't hear the next day
till midnight, and his cart declined and I had to end.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Up paying the bill.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Oh no, that's embarrassing. Hold on under sad, it was,
I hope you don't hang up.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
All right.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Well, let's speed this thing along, all right. How about
some humble body's mouth and what we got today? Mm hmm,
let's see this is the one I hate, Ladies. I
got it. Hey, ladies, I need your unfiltered, no holes
(47:51):
barred advice.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
The title is my girl got a girlfriend? What?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
My wife and I been together for thirteen year, solid history, love,
a life built. But over the past few weeks something
felt off. I did some digging and turns out she's
been cheating. That alone was enough to wreck me. But
what really threw me the person she's cheating with is
(48:18):
a woman. When I confronted her, she didn't deny it. Instead,
she hit me with the there are things that woman
can do that a man just can't. Now I'm spiraling.
Do I walk away from this relationship after over a decade?
Do I try to join or open the relationship? Or
(48:39):
do I listen to her needs to let her have
a girlfriend on the side while I say her husband? Ladies,
what would you do? Be real with me? Where is
he coming from? He didn't even say his name or nothing. Listen,
that's embarrassing a little bit like my manhood would feel
a little attacked.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Yeah, because it's like you not just cheating on me,
you cheating on me with a lady. But he may
some man may think that's a turn on.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
But for you to say there's some things that you
can't do that a woman can do, that means you
don't want no part of me, sir.
Speaker 1 (49:18):
I'm gonna need you to give her that same energy. Now.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
She said, she said that, she said that there are
things a woman can do that a man can't.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
I mean, I guess the girl can get a stocky.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
She's telling him that he can't. There's some things he
can't do that the woman can. That is that's like
what yeah? Because you know what's funny though, because one
of my friends she she's a Lesbia. She was like, baby,
I come, I can bring what your man can't bring.
(49:53):
I come in different sizes, different colors, different shapes.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I have a hook I can't.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
I'm like, I don't know, but see, I don't even
know if that kind of lesbianism, because like then just
get a real one.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
No, she listened. She be selling these girls dreams.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
She tell them what she hit them with that line,
and she'd be putting the girl. Did you take this
this man's woman? My girl, I ain't even been about
her name out there, but did you take this man's talk?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
That's crazy? I mean, I don't know. I don't know.
I would say, no, this is cheating.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
Is cheating, whether it's a man or a woman, And
I think, you know, y'all have to address that first
of all. Second of all, like you need ask your lady,
your wife, like are you a lesbian?
Speaker 1 (50:47):
Have you been in less day in this whole time?
Like is this something new?
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Like I feel like that's a conversation they need to
sort out because then that changes things because if you're
not into men, then what we're doing, like why are
we like what you know what I'm saying. So I
feel like there's a few conversations that need to be had,
but ultimately, like she's cheating on you, and to me,
(51:11):
that's the ultimate disrespect. That's the ultimate like you know,
I just think that it's cheating and cheating. Whether it's
what it doesn't make it less cheating because it's with
another woman, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I definitely
think that she's over the relationship from what she's saying
to him, or she's taken him for granted and he
(51:34):
just need to, you know, be a man. Sounds like,
you know, she don't even respect him as a man anymore.
To even say those things to even step out like that,
So he need to.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
File for a divorce.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
Yeah, teach her behind lesson and get someone that can
appreciate what he bring and what he do in bed.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Yeah. I agree.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
Well, I hope we answered that question for him because
he don't need to go ask nobody else this. Don't
tell nobody else. I'm go tell your best friend. Don't
tell nobody. This is yeah a anonymous sir, and go
get that divorce exactly. Yea, yeah, expeditionally, absolutely, all right,
(52:18):
do we have time for one more?
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (52:21):
We got TOI for one more. Okay, let's see, Dear
Humble Baddies. I've been absolutely loving your podcast and your unapologetic,
real talk.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
Approach to relationships.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
So let's dive into something that often gets brushed under
the rug, open relationships. I've been with my man for
a few years and neither of us is interested in
a marriage for many reasons. I love him, but I
have outgrown him. I need different things from our relationship,
but he is not stepping up to the plate. I
don't want to end our relationship, but I have some
(52:57):
but I've been considering asking him up about having an
open relationship so that I can still get those things
that I don't get from him and maintain our relationship
as well. I would love to hear your thoughts on
the subject.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
She sounds like she wants that polyamorous type relationship. I
mean too, I think, you know, it's cool.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
That she's seems like she knows what she wants, because
I feel like a lot of women don't know what
they want. It's like they know they want to be
in a relationship or they know they want to be married,
but what are.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
The things you know? Like, what are the specifics that
you want?
Speaker 2 (53:35):
And it sounds like she knows and the person that
she's with don't got those things, but she cares for
him a lot, so I feel like at least she
knows that this person isn't giving her what she wants,
and it doesn't sound like she wants to settle, and
I think she's open to sharing her thoughts about that
with him, which I think is awesome. Yeah, if that
(53:59):
person don't don't seem like the person that would be
open to having a conversation like that, then I don't
even think you should go there with them. I think
you should just let them go. And you know, because
that might break them. They might think you're their world.
They might think that you think that they're they're your
world too, and so I feel like that conversation could
(54:20):
go really bad, really quick. So you know, you know,
you know your partner, and you know what they're open
to talking about and how open minded they are. If
they're open minded, then I would say half the conversation.
But if not, just let that man go. Just let
that man go. I feel like she's been I respect
(54:40):
her for coming to him before venturing out and having
a conversation, but it sounds like she wants her cake
and eat it too and present it to him if
he's If this is not what he's asking for, then
you have to move on. You can't continue to play
with his emotions. Yeah, but be careful because that's a
(55:00):
serious game to play with. Be careful what you ask
for because when he started venturing off and doing things,
are you mentally prepared for that? Are you ready for that?
To see the man that you are, that you love
with another woman loving on another one. Maybe she wants
one of those relationships where it's just her with multiple
(55:21):
boyfriends and not him, but multiples I don't know.
Speaker 1 (55:25):
I never understand the rules with these open relationships. It's
not for me. I don't know. I don't know what
you can and can't do. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (55:33):
Oh no, it's my phone. It's just gonna die. Okay,
all right, I got five percent left. So well, baby,
have the conversation. We wish you all the best, but
you cannot expect to do what you want to do
and strangle this man alone.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Yeah, I agree. Figure it out and figure it out quick.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
Well. We thank you guys so much for tuning in
our girl Lexus is out.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
We thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
If y'all have any questions, Do y'all have any concerns,
y'all want any advice from us, make sure you guys
hit us up Humbo Baddy's podcast.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
Until next time, y'all, Monday, I start. I'm asking Nicole.
We out you following subscribe
Get in my way, never out of My name's been
like you one and the more one is gonna be
Baby Squad.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back you guys with you
with the episode of Humble Batties.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm sure we a Risotto. I'm your girl, Ashley Nicole
and we I are humble say.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
This is our first episode without our girl Lex. She
had some business to take care of. So Ashley and
now are holding it down.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
And we got you Bill. We'll see you next week.
Y'all tune in.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Lex will be back with us, But for now you
got us too, holding it jam off the way from Nigeria.
That's just good. We have our big day tomorrow with
big wedding. Yes, I cannot wait. We already got our
dresses custom made, We got our dails ready, We're gonna
have hair and makeup.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
We're gonna have We got a.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Whole camera crew comments, so y'all can get the content like, yeah,
it's gonna be big.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I can't wait. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I tried on my dress actually, and I don't know
how you and legos do it. Like the course said,
I can't move girl, I feel like you and my
stomach is pushed down, like, how did y'all do this?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Should I hold your breath and just stand there and
be q But Ashley.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We're gonna be there from three tonight. And you know
how the Nigerians party. Yeah, you can't sit down and
you dress, I can't sit down? The dresses long? How
many use the bathroom like? It's a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I didn't think about the bathroom part. I didn't think
about that. Yes, Okay, we'll figure it out. Don't worry.
We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna hear it out.
But but make sure y'all stay tuned because we are
gonna give y'all love content on what's going on and
how the ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen in Nigeria get down
when they get married.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, because it's a whole vibe and I'm here for it.
I am wit to show y'all. I can't wait to
share everything from tomorrow. I'm excited. So let's get into
it until tomorrow, y'all stay tuned. We're gonna get into
our first topic today. Your man, your secrets, should your
bessie know it?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
All? That's a good rue, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All right, y'all, let's be real. Relationships can get really messy, emotional,
and sometimes hilarious. But when things happen between you and
your man, do you keep it locked down?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Or is your bessie the first to know.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I'm guilty in my previous relationships that I have talked
to my bessie about things that happen in my relationship.
So tonight we're diving into loyalty boundaries and sometimes blurry
lines between friendships and romance. So what are the rules,
if they're any Before we get into it, We're gonna
have a spiller chill.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
It's basic kill.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It's basically okay, I'm gonna ask a few questions or
would you spill it to your bessie or keep it
on locked Okay, let's dome. So it's just a little
icebreaker before we get into the topic. All Right, he
gave you the worst birthday gift ever. You're gonna tell
your friend or you're gonna chill out on it. I
tell my friend because you know why, my friend could
(03:28):
help him next year in getting the appropriate gifts.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You know what I'm saying, Like, I feel like maybe.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
He just need a little bit of help and I
feel like that's not that deep, so I would definitely spill.
Tell the bestie to help help help my man, Please
help help him out, So help fill out, please Lord.
I remember that happened because you remember it was Serenity's
birthday and Phil brought the boys to check E Cheese
and we were talking to some of you like, pie,
(03:54):
don't got me these shoes, and I didn't like it.
I really wanted and then I threw it hit. I
threw a hit to feel I was like Phil, I
had on the shoes. I was like, Phil, actually really
want these shoes right here. Yeah, girl, Phil is someone
who needs some I'm definitely spilling to the best seat,
go help fill out because.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
He don't be knowing. He don't be knowing. God bless you.
I feel like it's the guy.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Sometimes they just do whatever, like and unless you tell them, hey,
this is exactly what I want, Yeah, they just whatever.
I feel like that's something though, that you know, it's
okay to tell the bestie, you know, when it comes
to the rules and what you doing don't like. I
feel like that one is a good one we get
(04:41):
to go with. Yeah, okay, what's next, what's the next?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
One. Oh, this is a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
He accidentally calls you by his exist name while having sex.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
What should I say, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Out of jail because what Yeah, no, that's unexactable, and
I know I would be too.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
That's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Honestly, I'm not feeling that because quite frankly, I'm embarrassed
that you would even do that, and like, now I
need to figure out our whole situation, like why are
you thinking about her?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Why is she on your mind?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Like it's so much stuff I gotta go through in
my mind, Like I'm not I'm not spelling that. I'm
not spelling that. That is definitely embarrassing. That's something that
I definitely would not say. Have it ever had well
or a relationship? Really no, thanks, never ready for me. Yeah,
(05:48):
we were not spelling that though. M that's embarrassing. Absolutely,
that's great. Yeah, okay, all right, well we just we're
gonna chill and keep that one to the side.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
He gives you screens last minute gas station grab.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, I'm probably spelling because why ew I gotta tell somebody,
I'm upset, you know what I'm saying, And I don't
want to be like the nagger and sound ungrateful to him.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
So if I.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Gotta you know, nag and you know, be upset, I'm
gonna tell Bessie and let her let me vent real quick. Yes,
you know what that happened to for not the gra
gas station grab with your girl station, some.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Gas station flowers. Oh no, it was so embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
No, no, I didn't like flowers. It was the worst.
I ain't even been to put their business out there
like that, but it was horrible.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Mm hmm. I'll tell you after we get off this.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Okay, Well, yeah, guys, do not go to the gas
station to getting off, not for nothing unless you're filling
up our tanks.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
We don't need nothing.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's from the gas station. Okay, gas station exactly. I
don't pick us up nothing. We don't even need to
see the gun.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
No, I'm thank you, I'm good, thank you, No, thank you.
It's a sex game. Is horrible? You spelling or you chilling?
Ooh horrible.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
I will probably chill until I just am good on it,
you know what I'm saying? Like, I won't sell my
best sie immediately, but at some point I gotta spell
because girl, ah, not him coming over here with this
weak ass sex game and he probably think he all
that and a bag of chips, like absolutely not no,
(07:43):
and you will.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Be the main ones. Let me the main one.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
They here adding like big dig mg and it's not given.
So no, have one little sorry little move. It is horrible. Yeah,
real bad. We're spelling. He's spelling. We're spelling all of that.
It's definitely okay, let's get into it. Do you think
it is healthy healthy to share everything about your relationship
(08:07):
with your best friend?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
When is it? When is it okay to vent? And
when is it crossing the line? Child?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I mean, I feel like your best seat is special.
So I feel like there are things that you can
literally share with your best friend that you can't share
with your husband, or that you can share with your husband,
but it just won't hit the same, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
What I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Sometimes you're looking for something in a conversation with you
know someone, and your bestie is the only person that
can really you know, meet you where you're at, you
know what I'm saying. So I've learned that, you know,
I just try to when it comes to like relationships,
stuff like if it's between me and feel like specifically
(08:56):
if it's something that I feel like, you know, you
wouldn't want me repeating to anybody else. I definitely wouldn't
share that, you know, if it has something to do
with you know, our personal business, I'm not sharing that.
But also I think there's it's smart to have like
other married friends because sometimes they're going through like the
(09:17):
same things that you're going through and keeping those things inside.
You know, it could be a disservice when your friend
might have gone through the same thing as you, and
you could easily just like let them know, like, hey,
this is where we're at, this is what's happening. But
you got to make sure that those are the right
people for you and the right people that you can
confide in. So I think it's just like a slippery
(09:39):
slope with who you decide to like share your business with.
But overall, I think that it is probably not the
smartest idea to share like everything you know you.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Really got to it's certain things you know that's true.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I feel like you know lesson learn For me and
my previous relationship with or Chad, I was betrayed by
a friend where you know, they ended up messing around
because I over shared too much information and Brian, Yes,
my ex and the friend had a whole situation yet
(10:17):
oversharing information. And it's like, like you said, you have
to be careful who you share your stuff with because
every friend you can't treat the same. So I felt
like going through that it created me to not trust,
not to be able to open up to my friends,
because I took what she did on everyone else and
(10:37):
it put a guard up.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
It's like, I'm very I have I have a guard.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yes, I'm very guarded when it comes to who I
talked to about, you know, my personal relationship or it
was hard to get over, Like it's something like you
would never think that someone so close to you that
you call your friend that you and would portray you
and go behind your back and do things when you
went into them about things you went through. I think
you do have to guard your relationship though, like you're
(11:09):
supposed to protect your marriage, you know, and so you
aren't supposed to go out and just be sharing everything
Lily Nilly, you know, not even with your.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Best best best best best friend. They don't need to
know everything.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
But I do think you know, if there's something that
you're going through and you seeking advice and you feel
like this person, like it's somebody you can confide in
and then you can trust and yeah, absolutely, but we
have to be very careful. You're supposed to protect your relationship.
Your relationship with your husband is everything. So I'm sad
you went through that, because girl, it was that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
And I was pretty asked like what happened? Like how
do you move?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I tried to called my I called my sergeant. I
was like, y'all gonna have to bail me out of jail.
I was pregnant. I went over there, got to kick
down the door that was in my heyday. I was
still in the military. I was like, you know what,
I have so much going on. I can't risk what
I have going for this foolishness. But it was a
(12:13):
lot to get over. Yeah, I bet that's a lot.
That's crazy. Yeah, okay, let me ask you what about
the opposite, Like what about telling your husband things that
you and your best friend have talked about?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Like do you exactly? I feel like it's rules to
that too. It is.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I cannot pillow talk because I'm speaking from experience. When
I was younger, I used to pillow talking and say
things that went on in my friendship lives and they
start to look at them different, they start to judge them,
and it's like, at the end of the day, this
is my friend, but they assume that you're going to
do the same thing that they're doing because you pillows up.
(12:55):
So's I wouldn't do it anymore at the age that
I'm met, I'm at now, what goes on with my
friend life is her business. It's not you know, my partners. Yeah,
I agree, I don't. I don't like to kill it
talking I have. I feel like I have friends who
tell their husbands everything, and so then it makes me
(13:15):
cautious about what I share with them.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
It's like, well, wit a minute, because you know you're
gonna go back and tell your man.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I don't want him looking at me crazy, and I
don't want my conversation to get out to nobody else.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I don't know who we talked to, you know, like
it's just too much.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
So then it's like, damn, that kind of messed up
with our friendship because I can't really open up to
you like I want to. But yeah, I definitely. It's
so many relationships. I'm sorry, go ahead, now, go ahead,
go ahead. It's so many relationships that have been ruined
just from pillow talking. It's like people don't understand, like
(13:52):
you have to draw the line and there has to
be a boundary set when it comes to you and
your friends discussing information about you know, your partners and
vice versa, and discuss the information about your friends to
your partners.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I saw, it's not even a turn on for me.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Like if it was to sit down and want to
have a whole conversation about like girl shit, I will
be looking at him sideways like why are you interested?
And what me and Shesha was talking about like h like, no,
this is girl business, this is girl drama, Like why
do you care like that? And I will say sometimes
I do get excited and I'm like no that's but no,
no d the night, and you just be looking at
(14:29):
me like.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I'm not here curious exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
So yeah, I feel like men need to stay in
men's you know, business, don't be in the women's business. Okay,
it's not second. I don't like that at all at all.
Have you actually have you ever regretted telling your best
friend something about your man.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yes, yes I have, but not actually we weren't married yet,
you know. But that's the thing too.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
It's like, you know, I didn't know I was gonna
end up marrying this man and told all the man business,
you know what I'm saying. So it's like, yeah, I mean,
I've definitely regretted. So you just have to be careful
because now me and her are not best friends anymore,
you know what I'm saying. So it's like, now they
got information that I don't wanted them, you know what
(15:31):
I'm saying, repeating, and it's just like, you know, so
you gotta be careful. I wonder how it is, like
we always it's easy for us to vent to our
best friends in regards to things that are going on
in our relationships, but we never looked at it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Like how would a man?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
How would we feel if our male been it to
their best friends about us, Like would you take it
some type of way? I think Phil Diddie, then I
think he probably has. I feel like I've stressed him
out to a point where he's needed to vent. But
(16:16):
I don't know why he's been to them because I
don't feel like they can give him good advice, so
whatever they tell him, they don't even matter. But I
think it's I think men should though talk to their
guy friends because I feel like they don't normally.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I feel like they try to keep things in. They
want to be a man and not vent.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
And open up, and I feel like they should get
it off your chest, you know what I'm saying, Because
I call my friend real quick and be like, girl, forget.
Phil is getting on my nerves so bad. He over
here and getting on my nerves, Like you know, I
do that all the time, and I feel like, I
know I could be annoyance. So I feel like, you know,
Phil should probably go bent to his friends every now
(16:55):
and then when I get on his nerves.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I mean, it's for his mental health, you know what
I'm saying. I would rather.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I would definitely rather for my partner to ben to
his male friends than to anyone else or a stranger
or a female or whatever, because.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
No, definitely not a female.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
It's it's hard for man. First of all, it's hard
for man to communicate. They don't like communicating about what's
going on in their relationship. They would rather hold it in,
and I feel it just gets worse but to just
let it out even if your friend can't. Don't even
give you any advice, but for him to for him
to be able to let yeah, it's a thing.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
It's yes. So I'm not mad if you know.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, my partner, I said, my partner, like, I gotta
part You got a partner.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
What's the next subject? Girl? Looking into that later? What's
the next one we got to get into?
Speaker 2 (17:56):
So all right, son, we got we're talking about Hot
Girl Summer versus Healing Girl era?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Which one are you ran? Charrell? Sharrellica? But that's my
new name, Shirrillica. Which one you there?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I think I'm transitioning from a little new Girl era
to a Hot Girl Summer to New Girl Ara.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
It's like a roller coaster ride for me because just
a couple of weeks ago and he was like, I'm
not dating, I'm not doing.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Anything, and I need here. I needed to heal Ashley. Okay,
So so your parents are healing, you're Healing Girl era,
and now you're in your Hot Girl Summer era. I am, okay,
tell me more, tell me more, so then sign me
you're dating you outside? I started outside and and you
(18:59):
know outside, I just can't be outside outside, it's not
for me. Okay, okay, that's not for me, all right,
it's that So are you outside living your best life
or inside journaling and drinking tea with your crystals. Today
we're talking hot girl summer versus healing girl era and yes,
it's okay to be a little of both, which sounds
(19:22):
kind of like you.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Sirillicalla good.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yes girl. Okay, So here's the game. Is it hot
or healing? Okay, so let me know. Number one, blocking
your ex after a glow up photo photo drop.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Is that hot or healing? I ain't gonna block.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
If I have a glow up photo drop, you gonna
see all this greatness over here.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, you need to see. You need to see.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
You need to You're gonna get that hot girl energy
without and so that's hot. Yeah, I think that's I
think you should though. I think like when you go
through a breakup, you should like get a new hairstyle.
You know what I'm saying, go to the gym like
start you know, getting back into yourself and then post
(20:17):
that shit.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Pop out. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I'm times you gotta pop off and show period. Okay,
I agree. So that's hot. It's hot and healing. That's
the healing too, Yeah, I think so. All right, saying
no to plans to protect your peace? Is that hot
or healing?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Healing?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I would go with healing for that one. Yeah, that's
definitely healing. I need to I mean, I'm not going
through nothing, but like I feel like I need to
learn to say no. I feel like that's be saying
that yes to a lot. So that's something I need
to work on this year.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
That's the same. It's hard for me to say no
because I'll be like, okay, me.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Too, Yes, Okay, I'll come to Nigeria, Sure, no problem,
I'll be there saying that it's just a quick flight, okay,
all right?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Looking a solo trip after a breakup? Is that hot
or healing? Healing? That was me?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, I was going through killing stage. I was just
booking trips. It still is, which is why I'm in
the predicament I'm in right now, having to be over
here in Nigeria and go to the embassy to get
emergency passport. Is that like you might be a little hot,
hot hot.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
If you gotta do all that, Okay, but it's heeling
and hot all right, it's given both.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I meaning I think healing can be hot, Like you
can be out, you know, trying to find yourself, and
that could consider being hot. But it's a part of
your healing, right, Some people heal differently, some people to
be outside, you know. So, but do you really think
that's healing or is that just being outside? Because I
(22:08):
feel like being outside is just a cover up, a
temporary fix for you to get try to get over
what you're what you went through. But it's not healing
what you went through. It's just at the end of
the day, once you come back inside, you got to
deal with what you've been facing. Yeah, for sure, I
(22:28):
think that could definitely be a cover up and not
dealing with your problems. But sometimes I feel like people
who like hide inside are doing like more, you know,
it's it's hurting them more more.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, that's true. Sometimes people don't lean on other people.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
They end up, you know, afraid to meet new people
and guard their heart and you know, aren't open to
you know, just meeting new people on new opportunities. They
just completely shut down. I don't think that's healthy either,
you know what I mean. I think, you know, it's
probably a balance of the two that's needed.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I feel like for me, I can't be on the
inside all day, like I'm a people person.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I have to be around people.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And you know, going through what I went through that
I felt like traveling, just traveling, just getting out and
the world with it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
It was very therapeutic and it helped me a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
It helped me learn who I am and just learn
what I wanted in life and in a relationship and
not being able to settle or compromise for things just
because this was good. But my value was in this
and this is what I wanted from a man more
than this.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
So it just made me.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Reevaluate what I wanted in a relationship. So do you
feel like, would you recommend like traveling and dating abroad?
Is that something that you would say made you open
again to the possibility of dating and finding love again?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
So what made me open to dating? First? I had
to heal myself.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I had to make sure, you know, I was good,
I was here and I wasn't bringing any negative or
insecurities into you know, anything new that I decided to
get in I did fasting. You know, I got back
into my Bible. I felt like I was pulling away
from from God and just you know, fasting, getting getting
(24:45):
back closer to God and focusing on work traveling. That
just cleared my mind and cleared my head spacing and just.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Gave me more.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
More motivation to get out there and say, you know,
you can do this. It's not the end of the world.
You don't stop just because of this relationship end it. Yeah,
And there's so many people, there's so many beautiful, amazing
people out there that's gonna, you know, give you what
you want, treat you how you want to be treated,
or even better. So after I heal myself, I decided
(25:17):
to you know, I was traveling and.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You're testing the waters. I'm testing the waters a little bit,
and I'm.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Liking these waters. I'm liking this this temperature over here.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Okay, okay, But your breakup is still there, like relevant,
like they still post like your ex and you like
I just saw on Hollywood unlock like couples that you know,
which couples would you like to see get back together?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And I see your face.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
And your ex. So how does that make you feel?
Like do you think that does it make you rethink?
Like maybe you know you could get back together or like,
how does that make you feel? I feel like, you know,
I don't know what the future may bring. If if
(26:11):
if it was meant for us to be back together,
then it would happen. If not, you know, I wish
my exodus, and of course you know me to move on,
but no, no, ILL will over there. If it happens,
it happens. If it don't, it don't. I feel like
we still see a beautiful child.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah you really.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I mean they're handling this whole thing with grace because
the people be coming for you.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
They be coming for you on the end, and they
but to the outside shell. So you can't.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
It's not for me to fight what people think, right
what they assung?
Speaker 1 (26:50):
So I agree.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
So how do you feel is different because obviously like
you're open, you're traveling, So how do you feel it's
differenterent dating people that are not in the United States?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Like is there a big difference? I think it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
On this question because I'm living through you right now
and the people want to know.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I want to know. I'm the people.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
So I feel like the interview, what happened to this bit?
Look at that table, baddies, So we.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Want to know.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
How is it dating men that are not in the US?
Is it different?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Is it better dating? Amen? Dating Amen? Okay, dating amen?
Not in the US.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
You, I mean, it's beautiful, it's something different, Like it's excitement.
Of course, every new relationship or a situationship is exciting
in the beginning. But it's just it's something different. It's fun,
and I feel like it's we're just both enjoying ourselves.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I'm having a good time.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
But what would you say is the the difference in
like there is it their culture, their customs, how they
like treat you, how they talk to you, Like, what's
a major difference that you would say between the two.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I feel like.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
They are raised to know how to treat and cater
to a woman like my My biggest love language is
you know, sharing with gifts, affection.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
You know, touch, and you're getting all the above, all
the above. Yes, that's beautiful. Okay, this is very big. Okay,
I can't complain right now. I'm enjoying the moment. Yeah, well,
I love that for you.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I mean I think, I mean, I'm watching you and
I'm living through you, which and we just put all
my business like here, I wasn't ready for this, Ashley,
I was not ready for this.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Did be talking about I felt like he was. I mean,
the people want to know. I want to know. So
it is what it is. Child.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
We could talk about something elseide, we don't got to
keep talking about your ex.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And is y'all gonna get back together? We can move forward?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Okay, that's where we Yeah, we want to bigger, better things.
It's beautiful. We're in new countries, you know what I'm saying.
And I'm accurate traveling. I'm traveling. I'm going to South
Africa next and then yeah, and then back to the state.
See and y'all going all over the continent. I love that.
(29:43):
I feel like we match each other energy. We both
like the same things in life. So that and he's
a business very business saddy, so so y'all we're just
very very compatible. He's marking off all the checks on
all the boxes. Okay, all right, I love that. Okay,
(30:05):
back to the humble batties now.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
For lady. I'm gonna be sure. I'm sorry, I'm just
the people like girl.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I'm over gonna take to you like the people wanted
to know.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Okay, you day, all right, We'll we got next.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Let's see, so you ask me all these questions we
were supposed to be talking about.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
What is girls summer really? Very thank you for getting
me back on track.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Sorry, okay, okay, So what is the hot girl summer
really about?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Versus what is the healing girl era? Well?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I mean, I feel like you kind of skipped over.
Really you didn't have a high girl summer. It ain't
even summer yet, Like you ain't even have that. I
feel like you had your healing time which I saw
like you were really like, no, I'm not dating nobody,
you know, I need to focus on myself. Like you said,
you you know, got back into your Bible.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You was fascinating. Those are all like very.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Healing things, and those are things that I feel like
we should all do like on a regular Like we
don't have to be going through nothing to get back
to those things. Those are like important things that we
should just always be doing. There's always something that we
can heal from and you know, gain from that. But
hot girl summer though, it's fun and I'm looking for
(31:40):
them friends too.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Where y'all at? Where my homegirls?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
I just want to have a hot girl summer cause
I'm be living through y'all too Listen, I feel like
you can still have a hot girl summer with your man. Yes,
I feel that way. I feel that way. But I
think it's different when you're single.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Though. That's true because I had a few.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Times while I went out and I had the little
girl's trips while I was going through my hail and
error and we've turned up.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
We had a ball.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Yeah, But it's just I feel like it's just too much,
like it can be draining it as well, just having
too much spending too much time on a hot girl summer,
because you gotta understand, you lose focused, like try to
be out here. To me, I'm all about business. Like
I feel like I ain't making no money. I can't
(32:28):
be out here having a hot girl summer too much.
I'm missing out on money. I can do it every
you know, test the waters. But I got to rear
behind back in, like let me get back to this. Yes, yes,
I agree, it is a distraction. It is a distraction.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
It can be detrimental if you don't.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Real it back in, But I ain't mad at it. Okay,
So what about stupell types versus reality?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
But as a stereotype of but Hot Girl Grammers.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I feel like the stereotypes of Hot Girl Summers. People
think that, you know, it's all glitz and glam, like, oh,
you're just out here living your best life. I wish
I could just be like you, like you have no
worries in the world. Like when I did test the
waters for my Hot Girl Summers, I still had to
go back and take care of things back at home.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
So it's like.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
What glitter's not is what glitter doesn't it's not gold.
So you me showing out for Instagram, Oh I'm out
here partying this.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
That, and the third.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I still have a lot of the shit I have
to handle, and that's what people want to realize.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
If people can look at it and think like, oh,
she's having so much fun, like they broke up, but
look at her.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
She out she's having a great time.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
But you still got to go home and be by
yourself and like think about, like, you know, what are
my next steps? What is it that I really want?
Like reality sets in and it gets real, yes, and
I feel like you do, Like I'm not gonna lie.
I'm going through it. I went through emotional roller coaster,
like I'll be outside, but then it's time to come
(34:13):
back in and I'm in my bed crying, like I
ain't got missed this, like what you know, To be honest,
I was going through all that. Yeah, and it's not easy,
But just being outside is not gonna heal what you
went through. Yeah. Canese eras co exist or do they clash?
(34:35):
They definitely clash. Yeah, that's what I was saying. I
was outside, you lonely in that bed, like, yeah, well
then it takes late at night.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I feel like I mean, you know, I'm obviously not
going through a breakup or nothing, but I feel like
I still have my moments of like.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
When I need healing and when I want to be.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
A hot girl, you know what I'm saying, Like sometimes
I just want to be at home in my backyard
in the sunlight, you know, just taking time to myself.
You know, I need to just regain my energy and
regain and remember like who I am, because I've been
(35:22):
out in the world so much, and you know, I've
been focusing on other things that aren't necessarily I would
say like who I am deep down inside, Like when
I get out and I'm you know, going out to events,
going to parties, you know, showing up to places and
being around all different kinds of people and energies. It
(35:43):
takes a lot out of you. And at the end
of the day, I come home and I just feel depleted.
And so after like you know, weeks of that, sometimes
I feel like, girl, you need some healing, you need
to go home, you need to go to church, you
need to be around you know, certain people who you
know fill you back up.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
So you know, right now, I feel like I'm kind
of in both.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I feel like I can take a little bit from,
you know, my healing era and my hot girl era,
and right now that's all I be needing one man,
and I need a little this, I need a little that,
and I'm good to yep. Basically, yeah, yeah, I have
a good yeah exactly. So That's where I'm at right now,
and I feel good about it, and I'm appreciative that
(36:30):
I have, you know, the support system to be able
to do that.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
And whenever I need to take time for myself, I can.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
But I think, you know that's women. We need to
do both at all times. I think we need to
at all times be in some kind of do some
kind of healing, and we need to do something where
we're just something that excites us, something that's like girl
spontaneous and fun and brings us back to you know,
not everything needs to be so serious and just half
(37:01):
of the time.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, you said, I feel like you know you're gonna
go through what you go through, but there's a balance
for everything. You just have to be able to make
sure you balance in it, right.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah, balance is important. I don't want to get kicked out,
peel put my ass out if it be too much
hot girling exactly. Look, I'd be like, actually, make sure
feel know that we are good.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I don't want him to say yeah, but a shout
out to feel Phil be Phil is a real one.
We were talking about this today, like Phil, don't make sure.
He's gonna make sure you're good, you safe, everything, what's
going on, how the surrounding is.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
But he gonna let you have your your girl time.
He do he doing big deal? Uncle til yes, Yes,
all right.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
So when outside isn't the answer, let's talk about the
pressure to always be one.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
In the summer, I feel.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Like summer comes around and everybody's like, where are you
traveling to? What are you gonna be doing Let's get
about this weekend, Let's do this this weekend, Let's go
to this party, let's su and I just feel.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Like, whoa, Like that's a lot, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
That's what I was thinking. I haven't experienced that yet.
Like really I did a like for the summertime. This
is gonna be my first summer that you know that's
gonna be like that. But I just like to do
my own thing.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I feel like it's too much with trying to keep
up with everybody trying to be on. You know, I
don't like taking pictures. I don't like being out there
like that. So I think it's just this time is
gonna be me. If I want to be on, it's
going to be because of me, not because of you know,
people trying to bring me out or whatever.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I'm a balance.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
It too much summer for me, ain't It's I'm gonna
fall off the map.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Yeah, I can't do I agree. Balance is key, all right?
Speaker 2 (39:10):
So when do you know when it's time to pause
the party for personal growth?
Speaker 1 (39:17):
When the money starts slowing down?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, that and you see a change in you, Like
all the great values that you bring. You see a
change in your business, you see a change in your income,
you see a change in your family life. Like that's
when it's like, Okay, it's time for me to focus
more on on my personal growth because what I'm what
(39:46):
I'm putting my energy in, is it the wrong things?
Are in the wrong things?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah? Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I mean I feel like you can feel it too inside,
Like it's something inside of you. You start feeling different,
you be knowing, and sometimes we ignore those feelings. And
we gotta start paying attention to those because those are
the things that's gonna save us every time. Like we
need to listen to our gut, listen to our instinct,
listen to the you know when we hear that, like, girl,
(40:16):
you need to go to church?
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Of church?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Does God talking to you? You know what I'm saying.
We need to listen to those things, all right. So
what's one thing you're doing this summer for your soul
and one thing just for the vibes? Ooh, one thing
that I'm gonna do this summer for my soul. You
(40:42):
know what, I'm gonna bring all my family together. I'm
going back to Columbus and I'm gonna bring all my
family together and just celebrate and you know, you know,
just have fun, spend that time with my grandmother. She's
getting older. I just want that family time, that family vibe.
I was looking at old p and I posted a
few on Twitter, and I was like, I missed this
(41:04):
time and I just feel like just going back to
the roots spending time. Because I'm a family person. I
like to be around my family. I like to be
around people. I just want to have that energy back
just being able to catch up with all my cousins,
my aunties, my grandmother and just having a good time.
So this summer, I plan to take a trip back
home and get all the family back together and just
(41:26):
have a good time.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Okay, and then maybe we'll come and for one thing.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
For the vibes, I'm gonna do a trip with the girl,
some myself, chat daughters. They steal my babies and my
daughters and my niece.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
We're gonna go to Dubai, Okay do why yeah? Yeah yeah,
see yeah, you gonna do a little pot Okay. I
love that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Well, I'm going to for my soul. I feel like
I've already started, Like you know, I got my chickens.
So I got ten new little chickens, little baby chicks,
and I'm getting a fabulous coop manchiin built for them,
and to mention that you're living in absolutely only the
(42:19):
best for my babies. And I feel like this is
me just getting back to who I am. You know,
like I am very much like I love animals, I
love being outside, I love nature, and I feel like
I've kind of gotten away from that, and you know,
I try, you know, I tried to do things here
and there, but I really need to put more intention
(42:42):
into that because that's really who I am and that's
what really brings me joy and happiness and peace. So
just me starting my own little not I'm not gonna
have no whole farm, but this is like the beginning
of me getting back to who I am. So that's
what I'm gonna be focused and on this summer for
my soul and for them. What else, what else you're
(43:06):
gonna bring to the to the backyard, Astley, Because I
got a feeling you're gonna bring some goats or something. Yeah,
they don't know it yet, but I would love to
have a little baby goats. I would love to get
some swans. I'm st there, just goats and swans. That's
like the next things on my list black swans. Oh
that's gonna be cute. Yeah, okay, So that's for my
(43:29):
soul and for the vibes. So I want to actually
I can't say that because it's a surprise, but if
you're probably watching, Yeah, so I got some things, you know,
coming down the pipeline, some ideas that I want to
do for the vibes. The vibe is gonna vibe regardless.
(43:50):
I really need to focus on the soul part and
make sure I get that down first.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So that's where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Okay, Okay, it's storming here. You hit all right, girl, Yes,
I hear it?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Crazy all right. Our next topic.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Our next topic is we have a segment where we
ge get DM questions from our fans and the v
a DM.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Every week we're going.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
To start taking questions bear our stories. So if you
have any questions, make sure you follow us on ig
Humble Batty's podcast to ask your questions. Our producers will
randomly picked five questions for us to respond to.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
So let's get into it. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
My name Hatha Dean Forest Ashley, I'm not reading this.
Can we skip past it?
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Skip and shit? So hold on, I don't want this
to die. Say it's not charging. I'm let me make
sure I'm good. All right, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Not the camera following me? Okay, all right, I'm ready.
What's the question, Charelle, I see you are living your
best life. How were you able to move on and
live life?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
I think I answered the people want to know. I
think I answered that.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
I mean I took time out to here and focus
on me, you know, and now I'm living.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
That part I am.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
It's real good to y'all. Okay, we already answered that one. Okay,
not a question. But I tried the pop rocks and
he loved it. Oh not the cop rocks. You done
got the people on the cock rocks. Sure, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I got so many DM saying thank you for the
pop rocks.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Like, I'm surprised people didn't know about the pop rock streak.
I don't know. I don't know if I like the
pop frocks. Oh, it's too much going on.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
It was like.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
The con the trade, Like I'm not you may it
should have pop out.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, it was a lot. I was like, oh, this
is a lot happening. You can't when you're a beginner, Ashley,
you can't put too many. You probably put the whole
pack in your mouth, thinking you're fit to do some tricks.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
I shouldn't it that. I shouldn't it that.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
They put the whole pack? Okay, well, nobody. It wasn't
all directions on the thing.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
It didn't say.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
No weather totally. But I'm glaud to work this person.
They loved it, all right.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Please share with us your worst day ever. You got
a worst day.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
I went out on a day a long time ago,
and the guy called decline and he was getting sweaty.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
I guess he thought the money here. This was when
we was in the military.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Where you know, uh, you get a pay to day
early yep, And he thought that, you know, his his
money hit and the money didn't hear the next day
till midnight, and his cart declined and I had to end.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Up paying the bill.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Oh no, that's embarrassing. Hold on under sad, it was,
I hope you don't hang up.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
All right.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Well, let's speed this thing along, all right. How about
some humble body's mouth and what we got today? Mm hmm,
let's see this is the one I hate, Ladies. I
got it. Hey, ladies, I need your unfiltered, no holes
(47:51):
barred advice.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
The title is my girl got a girlfriend? What?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
My wife and I been together for thirteen year, solid history, love,
a life built. But over the past few weeks something
felt off. I did some digging and turns out she's
been cheating. That alone was enough to wreck me. But
what really threw me the person she's cheating with is
(48:18):
a woman. When I confronted her, she didn't deny it. Instead,
she hit me with the there are things that woman
can do that a man just can't. Now I'm spiraling.
Do I walk away from this relationship after over a decade?
Do I try to join or open the relationship? Or
(48:39):
do I listen to her needs to let her have
a girlfriend on the side while I say her husband? Ladies,
what would you do? Be real with me? Where is
he coming from? He didn't even say his name or nothing. Listen,
that's embarrassing a little bit like my manhood would feel
a little attacked.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Yeah, because it's like you not just cheating on me,
you cheating on me with a lady. But he may
some man may think that's a turn on.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
But for you to say there's some things that you
can't do that a woman can do, that means you
don't want no part of me, sir.
Speaker 1 (49:18):
I'm gonna need you to give her that same energy. Now.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
She said, she said that, she said that there are
things a woman can do that a man can't.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
I mean, I guess the girl can get a stocky.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
She's telling him that he can't. There's some things he
can't do that the woman can. That is that's like
what yeah? Because you know what's funny though, because one
of my friends she she's a Lesbia. She was like, baby,
I come, I can bring what your man can't bring.
(49:53):
I come in different sizes, different colors, different shapes.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I have a hook I can't.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
I'm like, I don't know, but see, I don't even
know if that kind of lesbianism, because like then just
get a real one.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
No, she listened. She be selling these girls dreams.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
She tell them what she hit them with that line,
and she'd be putting the girl. Did you take this
this man's woman? My girl, I ain't even been about
her name out there, but did you take this man's talk?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
That's crazy? I mean, I don't know. I don't know.
I would say, no, this is cheating.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
Is cheating, whether it's a man or a woman, And
I think, you know, y'all have to address that first
of all. Second of all, like you need ask your lady,
your wife, like are you a lesbian?
Speaker 1 (50:47):
Have you been in less day in this whole time?
Like is this something new?
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Like I feel like that's a conversation they need to
sort out because then that changes things because if you're
not into men, then what we're doing, like why are
we like what you know what I'm saying. So I
feel like there's a few conversations that need to be had,
but ultimately, like she's cheating on you, and to me,
(51:11):
that's the ultimate disrespect. That's the ultimate like you know,
I just think that it's cheating and cheating. Whether it's
what it doesn't make it less cheating because it's with
another woman, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I definitely
think that she's over the relationship from what she's saying
to him, or she's taken him for granted and he
(51:34):
just need to, you know, be a man. Sounds like,
you know, she don't even respect him as a man anymore.
To even say those things to even step out like that,
So he need to.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
File for a divorce.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
Yeah, teach her behind lesson and get someone that can
appreciate what he bring and what he do in bed.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Yeah. I agree.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
Well, I hope we answered that question for him because
he don't need to go ask nobody else this. Don't
tell nobody else. I'm go tell your best friend. Don't
tell nobody. This is yeah a anonymous sir, and go
get that divorce exactly. Yea, yeah, expeditionally, absolutely, all right,
(52:18):
do we have time for one more?
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (52:21):
We got TOI for one more. Okay, let's see, Dear
Humble Baddies. I've been absolutely loving your podcast and your unapologetic,
real talk.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
Approach to relationships.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
So let's dive into something that often gets brushed under
the rug, open relationships. I've been with my man for
a few years and neither of us is interested in
a marriage for many reasons. I love him, but I
have outgrown him. I need different things from our relationship,
but he is not stepping up to the plate. I
don't want to end our relationship, but I have some
(52:57):
but I've been considering asking him up about having an
open relationship so that I can still get those things
that I don't get from him and maintain our relationship
as well. I would love to hear your thoughts on
the subject.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
She sounds like she wants that polyamorous type relationship. I
mean too, I think, you know, it's cool.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
That she's seems like she knows what she wants, because
I feel like a lot of women don't know what
they want. It's like they know they want to be
in a relationship or they know they want to be married,
but what are.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
The things you know? Like, what are the specifics that
you want?
Speaker 2 (53:35):
And it sounds like she knows and the person that
she's with don't got those things, but she cares for
him a lot, so I feel like at least she
knows that this person isn't giving her what she wants,
and it doesn't sound like she wants to settle, and
I think she's open to sharing her thoughts about that
with him, which I think is awesome. Yeah, if that
(53:59):
person don't don't seem like the person that would be
open to having a conversation like that, then I don't
even think you should go there with them. I think
you should just let them go. And you know, because
that might break them. They might think you're their world.
They might think that you think that they're they're your
world too, and so I feel like that conversation could
(54:20):
go really bad, really quick. So you know, you know,
you know your partner, and you know what they're open
to talking about and how open minded they are. If
they're open minded, then I would say half the conversation.
But if not, just let that man go. Just let
that man go. I feel like she's been I respect
(54:40):
her for coming to him before venturing out and having
a conversation, but it sounds like she wants her cake
and eat it too and present it to him if
he's If this is not what he's asking for, then
you have to move on. You can't continue to play
with his emotions. Yeah, but be careful because that's a
(55:00):
serious game to play with. Be careful what you ask
for because when he started venturing off and doing things,
are you mentally prepared for that? Are you ready for that?
To see the man that you are, that you love
with another woman loving on another one. Maybe she wants
one of those relationships where it's just her with multiple
(55:21):
boyfriends and not him, but multiples I don't know.
Speaker 1 (55:25):
I never understand the rules with these open relationships. It's
not for me. I don't know. I don't know what
you can and can't do. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (55:33):
Oh no, it's my phone. It's just gonna die. Okay,
all right, I got five percent left. So well, baby,
have the conversation. We wish you all the best, but
you cannot expect to do what you want to do
and strangle this man alone.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Yeah, I agree. Figure it out and figure it out quick.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
Well. We thank you guys so much for tuning in
our girl Lexus is out.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
We thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
If y'all have any questions, Do y'all have any concerns,
y'all want any advice from us, make sure you guys
hit us up Humbo Baddy's podcast.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
Until next time, y'all, Monday, I start. I'm asking Nicole.
We out you following subscribe
Host
Shannon Sharpe
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