CZM Book Club: Cool Zone 2054: Reports From the Dino War: The War in Review

Margaret comes back from the future with a podcast episode from the year 2054.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Cal Zone Media book Club book Club, book Club book Club.
It's the cool Zone Media book Club, the book club
where you don't have to do the reading because I
do the reading for you. Except this month a cool
Zone Media book Club. We're doing something a little different.

(00:22):
You see, we here at cool Zone Media received a
missive from the future episodes of our own podcasts from
thirty years from now from the year twenty fifty four,
and we're happy to share them with you. Welcome back
to cool Zone twenty fifty four Reports from the Dinoh War,

(00:43):
your weekly source for everything World War three point five,
everything from the World Civil War, or as we like
to call it, the Dinoh War. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy,
and this week is our once a year recap of
where we are in the year of our Lord twenty
fifty four and how we got here. Don't worry. Next
week we'll be back with all your favorite on the
ground reporting. But this week we're going to speed run

(01:05):
the last I don't know, ten years or so of
world history. We're two years into the Dinoh War and
it is worth understanding what got us here, or, as
General Lichterman always says, you can't know what direction you're
going to go if you don't know what direction you
were already going. But first, it wouldn't be the year
twenty fifty four if we didn't shout out our most

(01:26):
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(01:47):
Dino Cadence. Now where were we world War Three? For
the one hundred and twenty years between World War Two
and World War Three, people figured World War three would
end all life on Earth. It would be the last
war ever. For the whole second half of the twentieth century. Yeah, yeah,
some of us are old enough to remember the twentieth century.

(02:10):
People lived in fear of nuclear armageddon. Figured the next
war would be nukes dropping this way and that way,
end of the world as we know. It turns out, no,
no one really wanted to blow up the entire world
as it happened. World War THREI didn't kick off as
a hot war until the autonomous weapon platforms got going
in Earnest. We didn't get a nuclear war. We got

(02:33):
the AWP War, the op War, the Sixth Month War,
the robo War, World War Terror Long twenty forty four,
call it what you want. We here at cool Zone
Media tracked the roots of World War three to all
the usual sources, the long Russian stalemate in Ukraine, the
Palestinian genocide, and the failed Turkish annexation of northeastern Syria.

(02:58):
After the US formally left both NATO and the UN
and twenty forty one and the world's premier military power,
Salt's economy fall into a tailspin, there was a terrifying
power vacuum. November twenty forty three, or Murder Month as
our own Robert Evans probably shouldn't have called it. Saw
world leaders, CEOs, human rights activists, and media influencers all

(03:20):
assassinated at a terrifying rate. Some of those people all
mourn some of them I won't. Then all of December
was eerily quiet. Then with the fireworks of the New Year,
the war started. In Earnest. Turkey invaded Kurdistan, Germany rolled
tanks into Poland again, though to be fair, this time

(03:40):
it was to liberate the country from Russia. The US
invaded Mexico in Ireland, Mexico invaded the US. The Second
Chinese Revolution kicked off, taking them out of the fight
more or less completely. All in one week. It was
a four way war, the US and its proxies like
Israel and the UK. We're at war with the EU.

(04:01):
We're at war with bricks minus China, We're at war
with the US, and of course the Alliance of the
Global South declared war. Quote anyone who attempts to station troops, materiel,
or infrastructure in any of our territories, which meant they
were at war with everyone else too. That's how the
war looked if you zoomed out far enough on the ground,

(04:23):
it was just a war of machines versus people. If
you're old enough to listen to this podcast, you're old
enough to remember the war, and you probably don't want
to be reminded in detail. So we're not going to
linger too long on those six terrible months. It was
nasty drones everywhere, killing all kinds of people. Despite all
the claims world leaders made about the higher moral standards

(04:44):
of artificial intelligence, all the claims made of the precision
targeting available to autonomous drone swarms and quadruped AWPs, it
was the civilians who got at the worst in the
Op War. Same as always, all four sides of the
war targeted journalists, doctors, and civilian engineers with at least
as much ferocity as they targeted enemy soldiers, drone programmers,

(05:07):
and drones. More than one hundred years ago, during World
War One, the anarchist data artist Hugo Ball spoke pruscient
words quote the war is founded on a glaring mistake.
Men have been confused with machines, as true in twenty
forty four as it was in nineteen sixteen. That's the

(05:28):
quote you so often here attributed to him these days.
But a year earlier he said something similar, yet fantastically
fatally wrong. In nineteen fifteen, he wrote, quote, the war
is based on crass error. Men have been mistaken for machines. Machines,
not men. Should be decimated. At some future date, when
only the machines march, things will be better. Then everyone

(05:51):
will be right to rejoice when they all demolish each other.
If the machines had only fought the machines, the world
would be a better place, and so many of more
of our friends would be in it. It is, of course,
simply terrifying how efficiently machines can kill without resorting to
nuclear weapons. A billion dead. That's never happened before. A

(06:13):
billion dead. The population of the Earth didn't even hit
one billion into the year eighteen oh four, and two
hundred and forty years later, a billion people died in
six months. What a great place to transition to ads.
I've been doing this for thirty three years now and
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(06:34):
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(06:55):
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(07:21):
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(07:42):
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Meat slabs and then I don't know whatever these other
ads are, and we're back. Forty million soldiers were killed

(08:12):
in combat, two hundred million civilians were killed by bullets
and bombs and mortars, and mines. Five hundred million people
were taken to their grave by the deer flu. The rest,
of course, died of hunger and thirst and lack of
access to medical care. A billion people, about ten percent
of the human population, died in twenty forty four, and

(08:33):
I am certain that includes someone you know. Only six
nukes went off over the course of the war, killing
about a million people, a tenth of a percent of
the total war dead. Washington, d c, Tel Aviv, Saint Petersburg,
those cities simply aren't there anymore. Two more blasts went
off at weapon facilities in Pakistan, and of course the

(08:55):
sixth blast was the Idaho incident, when a white Christian
nationalist organization called God's Hammer failed to prove the superiority
of the white race, stealing a warhead from a US facility,
only to accidentally detonate it in their own compound outside
of Wallace, Idahom. It was civilians who suffered under the war,
and it was civilians who ended it. Vishnu freyer Eloheim,

(09:17):
or VIFI for short, was an international consortium of engineers
from every side of the war that met in secret
and developed the suite of weapons that rendered autonomous weapon
platforms obsolete. Most famous of these, of course, are the
two weapons that ended the war. In April, they unveiled
the tactical EMP a weapon that destroys electronics without harming

(09:39):
life or non electrical infrastructure. At the end of May,
they released the first prototype of the Vishnu Shield, a
static EMP field that can shield an entire geographic area
from electronics that can run for hours at a time
on a shockingly low amount of power. By month four
of the war, soldiers from every army, both enlisted and

(10:00):
officers regularly mutinied and deployed tactical EMPs supplied by Vifi,
stationing themselves at population centers and attacking drones from every army.
By month six, the Vishnu Shield had been deployed by
desperate civilians in nearly every country in the world, and
the war ground to a halt. The governments of India,

(10:20):
the Scandinavian Federation, and what's once more called Palestine were
immediately overthrown, while every government in the world, especially those
of the major belligerent powers, faced crises of legitimacy that
they have yet to recover from. So ended World War three.
For eight years or so, we had something resembling peace.

(10:42):
Very few cities opted to keep their Vishnu shields running
full time. Of course, modern life, especially in an era
of extreme heat, requires regular access to power, although clockmakers
have advanced some amazing new marvels like the self powered
clockwork insulin pumps. Imborg, Sweden, was the largest municipality to
declare itself a non electric space by a three quarters

(11:05):
majority vote of its citizens, and ten years later it
remains the most famous large scale example of conscious deindustrialization
and is a hub for the neo lutite movement. And
we're not just saying that because their tourist board is
one of our sponsors. For eight years after the war ended,
journalists and ideologues called World War three the last possible

(11:26):
World War. I might have slipped up and said as
much on this very show. Daniel informs me that I
said it on our August sixth, twenty forty seven episode,
the one where I went to that new anarchist pacifist
town in Germany that they named Omlas built in the
ruins of Munster. It's a good episode anyway. It gets
into the deep radical history of that city and also
has clips of me asking like fifteen German pacifists in

(11:50):
My really Bad German Why the hell they named their
town after a thought experiment about how not to have
a utopia? World War three was the last possible war
because it was a war between states that was ended
by the courage that the people themselves, both civilians and soldiers,
had to stand up to those states. It was the

(12:12):
war that declared for once and for all that people
power was more powerful than state power. How could you
have a war without a state? How could you have
a war without the ability to deploy electronics on a
modern battlefield? Where there's a will, there's a way, much
like there's a way for me to transition to ads

(12:34):
right now. I didn't just bring up Helsenborg because their
tourist board is one of our major sponsors of the show.
I promise you, but they are. Are you tired of
the electrical life, tired of doom scrolling, tired of online dating?
Do you long for the simple life, the good life?
Do you dream of chopping wood to heat your apartment,

(12:55):
working cooperatively to meet your needs without the hub and
the bub of the modern world, But you still like
city life. Do you want to spend your evenings at
tea houses and saunas, talking of the issues of the
day through word of mouth. Helsenborg, Sweden is the largest
de electrified urban area in the world, and the Scandinavian
Federation is open to all immigrants, regardless of national origin.

(13:19):
Thanks to the wonders of Fast Turnaround Vinyl, you can
even keep up with your favorite podcasts on only a
two day delay from the electrical world. Helsenborg, Come on over.
Remember to write cool Zone Media on your visa application
where it asks where you heard of them to help
support the show. Do not consider moving to a vision
shielded area if you rely on a pacemaker or other
electrical aids. Three year mandatory service in the armed or

(13:41):
civilian forces of the Scandinavian Federation required of all new
residents over the age of sixteen. All Scandinavian residents between
the ages of sixteen to seventy required to participate in
the defense of the territory in the event of nationalist incursion.
Offline life does not guarantee to solve depression by polar
disorder or any other mental health condition. There is no
such thing as a climate haven, and natural disaster can
strike anywhere in the world. If you're not tired of

(14:03):
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(14:25):
to your perfect match. Gorga, like all online dating services,
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cannot guarantee that your dating match is not a Nazi assassin.
Use Gorga at your own risk, and we're back. World

(15:02):
peace couldn't last. It probably never will. Some people say
that World War three point five started in Mexico in
twenty fifty five. Years into the Maganesta and Zapatista revolt
against the cartels, Suddenly a huge chunk of the ostensibly
democratic government stopped siding with the cartels and started siding

(15:23):
with the rebels, and an all out civil war broke out.
Other people say that World War three point five started
in the Turkish regions of Kurdistan, when in twenty fifty one,
the YPJ announced the expansion of the Rushavan Project, declared
for democratic confederalism, joined by Iranian feminists and other leftists
from across Swanna, just as the Turkish government collapsed under

(15:45):
the weight of popular protests in favor of multiculturalism, only
to pave the way for the far right Gray Wolves
to ascend into power in about half the territory of
the former country. Still, others say that World War three
point five started in Idaho buffoons blew themselves up with
a nuke, becoming martyrs to ultranationalists of every stripe around
the world, none of whom I am sad to say

(16:08):
have thus far followed the specific tactical president set for
them by God's hammer. It's made for a good update
of the old follow your Leader graffiti, that graffiti which
used to feature a stencil of Hitler blowing his own
brains out, and now features a stencil of Henrik Olafson.
That's not his real name. He was born Tony Rossi
in Brooklyn, New York, holding a nuclear bomb and staring

(16:29):
at it incredulously. World War three point five is the
first World civil war or the First World Revolution, depending
on how you look at it. Civil war and revolution
are functionally synonyms. No longer are nation states duking it
out with other nation states like the twentieth century, nor

(16:50):
are nation states duking it out with non state actors
like the early twenty first century. This war, our war,
is a war between nationalism and internationalism, a war in
the heart of every country on Earth. Still, it's hard
to fight a modern war without modern technology. So I

(17:12):
don't pin the start of World War three point five
on the Maganestas and the Zapatistas in Mexico. I don't
pin it on the Democratic and Federalists in Swanna. I
don't pin it on the accelerationist bozos and compounds in Idaho.
I don't pin it on the Baltimore Commune. I don't
pin it on the Pan African Alliance for Democracy and Cooperation.
I don't pin it on that bizarre Red Brown Alliance

(17:33):
in Russia, the New Soviet Red Army. I don't pin
it on Elpodor del Pueblo. I don't pin it on
the new CCP. I pin the start of World War
three point five on a group of scientists working in Helsinki, Finland.
I pinned on the people who started cloning dinosaurs. We've

(17:54):
covered the rebirth of dinosaurs numerous times on this show before.
Of course, if you'd like to hear us talk about
it in more depth, I recommend a few episodes. July
twenty fifty two's four part The Rise of the Dino
Rider series gets into it in more depth. But of
course Garrison Davis is excellent. Why are all the Pterodactyl
Jockeys Gay as Hell? From February twenty fifty three remains

(18:16):
one of our most listened to episodes ever, and Molly
Conger's episode of Weird Little Guys from December twenty forty
seven about Aldus Bentley. The third Presage is the whole thing,
so just saying more detail is available, but in short,
let's see. I've been writing history podcasts for almost half
my life now, and one thing I've learned is that

(18:37):
whenever there's a single person credited for this or that
scientific or ideological achievement, it's never the full story. Helemi
Koskinen is the name you'll hear most often, though, they
call her petriyan Ayete, the Mother of beasts, the most
famous molecular palaeontologist in the world, which would have been

(18:58):
an easy title to wind up with twenty years ago,
but as competitive as health these days. But let's be honest.
The reason she's remembered more than her team is that
she served as the spokesperson for Cold Lab Cooperative, and
that she was gunned down on television the day she
announced the first successful de extinction of a dinosaur, a
triceratops named trich, which then gored her assassin. As the

(19:20):
world looked on March thirteenth, twenty forty nine, you probably
know where you were that day. Cold Lab Cooperative wasn't
in the war business. They were in the climate change
adaptation business. But the technology they developed, with substantial contributions
from Coskinen, who was certainly more than a talking head,
absolutely changed the game on cloning. Pettants will tell you

(19:42):
that what they do isn't cloning at all, but ex vivogenesis,
but that name never really stuck, not in the popular imagination.
Soon labs all over the world were de extincting animals
of every sort. Soon after that, labs all over the
world were cross breeding humans and animals into what are
called biospawn, and even resurrecting living tissue, though of course,

(20:04):
to date no one has brought back a human corpse
that retained anything in the way of personality, intelligence, or memory.
And soon enough after that we went to war. At
the Council in Lagos that confederated Democratic territories agreed to
a very specific set of limitations on the use of
ex vivo genesis. Only previously existing animals could be cloned,

(20:27):
no monsters, the rule states. The Lagos Accord was soon
agreed upon by people all over the world. Other people,
of course, refused to listen, and by twenty fifty two
the World Civil War began in Earnest. On our side,
the internationalist side, we have brave dino riders wielding non
electric firearms. On the enemy side, the nationalist side, there

(20:52):
are zombies resurrected from the dead, shambling across the fields
of battle to eat everything in their way. There are
soldiers twisted and bread into nightmarish creatures, ravaged by pain
and rage. They're hideous, crawling biospawn the size of houses
that shriek and sob their way towards their objectives, ridden

(21:12):
by cruel masters who steer them through city streets with
hooks and prods. For the first few decades of the
twenty first century, it was out of vogue to conceive
of things as either good or evil. But this war,
the Dinoh War, it's a war of the living versus

(21:32):
the liminal, a war of freedom versus tyranny, a war
of kindness versus cruelty, a war of dinos versus zombies,
a war we're going to win. And yeah, those of
us at cool Zone Media, we're biased. That doesn't mean

(21:52):
we're wrong. We're not winning right now, to be honest,
nor are we losing. The fight is fierce all across
the world. New national borders creep up and collapse every day,
and it's hard to keep up with exactly how everything
is going. There are only a few true strongholds on
either side. Nigeria, the Scandinavian Federation, the Free Territory of California,

(22:16):
and coastal Argentina are firmly in the hands of the
internationalists and have been since day one. Istanbul, Saint Petersburg, Johannesburg.
They're on the other side. That's it. For a recap.
We hope you join us again next week for another
episode of cool Zone twenty fifty four Reports from the
dinoh War, where I'll be giving you my report back,

(22:36):
plus some live coverage from Helsinki Dinocon and just here
for plugs at the end, I still have my substack going.
It is thirty plus years going strong. Margaret Kildre. You
can find me on substack and also my seventy fourth
Danielle Kine book is coming out very soon early next year.

(22:56):
In fact, after I restarted the Danielle Kine series. It
Could Happen Here as a production of cool Zone Media.
For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website
Coolzonemedia dot com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can
find sources for It Could Happen Here, updated monthly at

(23:17):
Coolzonmedia dot com slash sources. Thanks for listening.