National Milk Day! Milky Dad Jokes that will be pasteurize before you know it! 11 January 2024

Daily Dad Jokes (11 Jan 2024)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: mncyclone84, superflyguy87, chuin_masterofsinanj, HellsJuggernaut, romben1, LetsdothisEpic, norrisdt, hrteas, xplorerex, kickypie, fullmiz, , incredibleinkpen, Learned_Response, mario1232020, IAMACARROTboi, herotomany, Huge-Advantage7838, Superjam83, movingpileofcash, Baby-Penewine, TheAzrael2013, RedTheThirteenth, JoggingPylon, athei-nerd, ghost

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes because
he uses superior ingredients.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
If a cow doesn't produce milk, it's both an utter
failure and a milk dot.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
The checker at the grocery store asked me if I
wanted my milk in a bag. I told her to
leave it in the carton.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Son? What are you drinking? Soy milk? Ola milk? Soy
es two padre?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why is milk the fastest thing ever? Because it's pasture
eyes before you see it.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Why does a milking stool only have three legs because
the cow has the udder.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Carnation? Milk should be called ghost milk because it's evaporated.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
My joke's age like milk. They're all cheesy.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
What kind of bees get milk? Boo bees?

Speaker 1 (01:42):
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full
of milk to soothe my sunburn. I asked him pasteurized?
He said no, just up to your neck. Get ready
for more laughs and groans following this short break.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
In our fridge, there's condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla, and eggs.
So just as a precaution. I've put a sticker on
it saying warning, highly flammable.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
I've started telling people about random milkfacts, like how Russians
once you used a frog to preserve milk. I guess
you could say that was a caseine point.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
What sound does a cow make when it runs out
of milk? None? There is utter silence.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Milk is good, but it could be butter.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Our milkman was fired today. He was semi skimming off
the top.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
What do you call the milkman with deformed feet? Lactose?

Speaker 2 (03:04):
The milkman refuses to deliver to my house? How dairy?

Speaker 1 (03:13):
When does the French milkman come late?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
What do you call a milkman in the wild West?
A cowboy?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
John legend announced he will become a milkman. It will
be legendary.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Why did the milkman play basketball? He could always make
a half court.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
How does the milkman treat his children? He spoils them.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Where do milkshakes come from nervous cows?

Speaker 1 (04:11):
What do you call an expired milkshake a milkshake?

Speaker 2 (04:19):
In the US, my milkshake brings all the boys to
the yard. But in Europe, my milkshake brings all the
boys to the meter.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
What do you call a cow that survived an earthquake
a milkshake?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
They have milkshakes with whipped cream and cherries of Chick
fil A, but nothing more elaborate, otherwise they might have
to work on Sundays.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
I once had a cow with epilepsy. We called her milkshake.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
I had door Dash deliver some burger king and I
ordered a milkshake because why not. The door Dash guy
brought it to my door and it was good. Then
I realized my milkshake literally brought a boy to the yard.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
There was a stampede at the dairy farm today. It
was utter chaos.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
My buddy just got fired from a dairy farm for
being the worst employee they had ever seen. He was
a serious danger to himself and utters.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
I am planning a dairy startup looking for cow founders.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
When you are the cream of dairy inspectors, nothing gets pasteurized.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Lactose intolerant people handles some jokes, well, they're too cheesy.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
My wife keeps coming home with the wrong type of milk.
Turns out she's lactose incompetent.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
What do you get when you baptize a cow pasteurized milk.
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the
milky dad jokes for National Milk Day. We're on a

(06:41):
mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide,
so please do us a favor and share just one
of these jokes with your family and friends today. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, subscribe to
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(07:18):
produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for
social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded
in front of a canned studio audience.