National Pharmacist Day! Get your dad jokes over-the-counter here! 12 January 2024

Daily Dad Jokes (12 Jan 2024)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: Fuma4fun, impiousPunster, ViolinDavis, wafflecheese, mindful_dodger, fiftygoodMen, Cheweduproach, SiD--_, cerebolic-parabellum, thesoulless78, 36chambersoffun, JohannesCabalNA, BellaLugosisChips, TheGreatNoSugarKing, SorryItsMeNotYou, Upset_Toe, IceCoolBrutus, Twigsnapper, unlockita11

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Why did the pharmacist walk on her tiptoes? She didn't
want to wake the sleeping pills.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
I do not regret my career choice, but often wonder
if I should have been a pharmacist. I keep hearing
how they are pillars of the community.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
If Liam Neeson becomes a pharmacist, he knows who you are,
he knows what you want. If you are looking for
medicine but don't have money, he can take insurance. What
he does have is a very particular set of pills,
pills that make him a doctor for people like you.
If you have good insurance, that will be the end
of it. He will not bill you extra, he will

(00:47):
not pursue you. But if you don't, he will find
you and he will bill you.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Why did the mistake prone pharmacist eventually die He got
a taste of his own medicine.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
A duck wants into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
I'd like some chapstick. The pharmacist says, but you're a duck.
How are you going to pay for that? The duck says,
it's fine, just put it on my bill.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
A man walks into a pharmacy with a prescription to xanax.
Looking to talk to the rapper pharmacist, he got more
bars than he bargained for.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
As a pharmacist who usually writes instruction labels for oral medications,
most of what I say to patients is in jest.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Pluto walks into a pharmacy and asks for high growth
tablets since it doesn't want to remain a dwarf planet anymore.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
A funeral procession is going up a steep hill. When
the door of the hurst flies open, the casket falls out,
then speeds down main street into a pharmacy and crashes
into the counter. The lids pops open, and the dead
guy says to the astonished pharmacist, you got anything to
stop this coffin?

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I found out I'm allergic to snakes, so now I
have to take an anti histamine.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Filling out prescriptions and helping to plant crops are basically
the same job. One's a pharmacist and the others a pharmacist.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
I failed my drug test today, looks like I'm not
cut out to be a pharmacist.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
I went into the pharmacy and asked the assistant, what
is the best thing for killing germs? Ammonia? Cleaner, she replied,
I said, sorry, I thought you worked here.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
I bought a really expensive laxative from the pharmacy. It
gave me a good run for my money.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Drove to the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills. Drove
back slowly so I don't wake the sleeping pills up.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Why was the ghost that haunted the pharmacy arrested illegal
possession of drugs.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
I want to start my own New York pharmacy. I'll
call it Medicine Square Garden.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
I picked up some tongue depressors at the pharmacy today,
and I'm happy to report that my tongue is still
in relatively good spirits.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
I only need a prescription for like half of my
kitchen cabinets. The risk are over the counter. I'm Bob
Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the prescriptive Dad
Jokes for National Pharmacist Day. We're on a mission to
spread the laughs and groans far and wide, so please
do us a favor and share just one of these

(04:28):
jokes with your family and friends today. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe
to our new weekly email newsletter It's our weekly roundup
of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you
to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today.
Check the sign up link in the show notes page
or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes

(04:58):
Podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
page for social media links and joke credits. This show
was recorded in front of a can studio audience.