Two astronauts aboard the Nostromo are making coffee when one says, “I can’t seem to find any milk.” (+ 19 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Two astronauts the board the Nostromo are making coffee. When
one says I can't seem to find any milk, the
other one replies and space, no one can here. You
use cream.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Not all math puns are bad, just some.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
It is written in the scriptures that the husband must
make the morning coffee. Hebrews.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I double majored in geology and piano. I've always had
a passion for rock music.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Why does your memory increase when you eat a male
sheep because it is a ram?

Speaker 2 (01:05):
What do you call the man who's prepared for anything?
Just in case?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I asked my doctor why I passed out? He said,
I haven't the faintest idea.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
If you get an email about not eating cannedan because
of the swine flu, ignore him. It's just spam.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Did you know that people eat more bananas than monkeys.
It's true. I've never once seen someone eat a monkey.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
What does Adam say on the night before Christmas? It's
Christmas Eve.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
My friend just had an interview to be a male man.
I wished him luck and told him to let me
know how it goes. He said, he'll keep me posted.
We'll return with more laughs. Following this short break.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
What do you call an old snowman water?

Speaker 1 (02:19):
I am trying to hollow out a tunnel right now, boring.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
What do you call a drummer who is addicted to marshmallows? Melodramatic?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
How much does it cost to run sent as slate?
Eight bucks nine if the weather is bad.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Protons and neutrons aren't weird, They're just a little quirky.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
The beef kettle were caught grazing in a cannabis field.
The steaks have never been higher.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride
was radiant and the groom was glowing.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Two pritzels are walking down the street. One's assaulted.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Hold on until
the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're
on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far
and wide. Please share one of these jokes with your
family and friends. Looking for more dad joke humor to share,

(03:49):
then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our
weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor
for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and
sign up today. Check the sign link in the show
notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily
Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the

(04:09):
show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.
You got to hand it to short people or put
it on a lower shelf

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Daily Dad Jokes (23 Dec 2024)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Two astronauts aboard the Nostromo are making coffee when one says, “I can’t seem to find any milk.” (+ 19 more dad jokes!)