A Day With Kay

Devale is a star with a glow that can be seen from outer space. But don't get it twisted, Khadeen is the sun! In this episode, the Ellises talk about why A Day With Kay is a project they are pursuing now. Dead Ass.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dead Ass podcasts. Is bouncing get crazy?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Is it really?

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (00:08):
I think it might get a little crazy up in
here if y'all spend a day with K.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Dead Ass.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hey, I'm Kadeen.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
And I'm Devoued and we're the Ellis's. You may know
us from posting funny videos with.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Our voys and reading each other publicly as a form
of therpy.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Wait.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
I make you need therby most days.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yes, sir, we are.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Li's most taboo topics, things.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Most folks don't want to talk about.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead Ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
We about to take philosof to our whole new level.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Dead Ass starts right now. All right, So, alright is storytime?

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Story time?

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Did you have a story time for me? You do
have a story time? Honored that you have a story
time for me? To talk about a day weight, K
got a story that had a couple of go ahead
do you think.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
This story is going to take us back to two
thousand and seven. I was in the NFL, and that
was way back. Kadeen and I were dating, living in Michigan,
and Kadeen pretty much gave me an ultimatum, pretty much.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Said, look, she get off the pot.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
I am not trying to be your living girlfriend or
your baby mother. I want to get married, but most importantly,
I have things I want to do with my life
and I want to host TV shows. I want to
be in front of the camera. I want to be
an entertainment reporter. She she went through the list of
all of these things that she wanted to do.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
And she just felt like at the time she was
just stagnant.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
She had just graduated from college, got her master's degree
in speech communications and performance, and I had to make
a decision. And I was like, so, what are you
saying is She was just like, nothing, like, if we
don't make any you know, strides towards being married, I'm
just going to move back to New York and start
focusing on my career. And it was like clockwork. I

(02:24):
think it was like three weeks later. That's when the
the traffic reporter search was happening in Detroit, and I
was like, yo, why don't you go out for that?

Speaker 1 (02:33):
And she made it to the top ten.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
But it was in that moment that I realized that
got I got like a one percenter on my hands.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
I got a young lady here who.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Has so many other gifts and talents, and the gifts
and talents she shares me, if you know what I'm saying.
But I looked at you, like, go through all of
those different levels on that reporter search and it was over.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I think it was over seven hundred people had applied
and you made it to the top ten.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and then eventually the top five made it.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
To the top five.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
And it was a time and sometimes even in your
losses because you end up not getting the job, but
the fact that you made it to the top five
out of over seven hundred people shows that you're in
the top one percent for people who can really do this.
And at that moment, I say, you know what, I
have to find a way for both of us to
live out our dreams while being partners.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
For each other.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
That was great. I have something I was going to
say that I just realized in this moment. But we'll
save it until when we come back and we talk
more about story time. Okay, all right, karaoke time. So
in the day we k I didn't even give much
thought to karaoke it because I feel like there's so
many songs that could potentially bring true to the moment. Okay,

(03:51):
however I might have I don't know if we did
this song before, but it just is purposeful right now. Victoria,
we just saw her at the Usher Experience when he
had his residency down in Vegas, third to last show,
and she has this song that's pretty much called Moment,

(04:13):
and I forget how it starts. Oh, I got this
feeling day brom me to you, so let me take
away your pain and send it on my plane. And
that man gave me a game hold life is fun

(04:33):
of dream a few manifested slowly, so fucking fantasy is
your motherfucking moment? Hey, it's my motherfucking moment, y'all?

Speaker 1 (04:45):
That this is a song, shoot man.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I used to I was playing that song long before
Victoria money on it, you was on it. That was
like twenty twenty. I want to say, that was like
one of my pandemic songs that I listened to all
the time, like, when are we gonna have our moment again?
And when I saw her and we met her backstage
at the Usher Residency, she was so super sweet and
I said, girl, I knew you were a star or
the minute I heard that song. And I'm so happy

(05:09):
for her. So shout out to Victoria Monteu and her
accolades that she's accumulated over the past couple of years.
She was a dope artist, beautiful person, beautiful spirit. So yeah, y'all,
it's my motherfucking moment. I'm gonna tell y'all, why let's
go take a break, pay some bills, and we're gonna
come back and talk more about what we can expect
from a day with k stick around. All right, So

(05:36):
to address your story, time you telling that story about
two thousand and seven graduating grad school because I graduated
grad school in twenty eight was it was it?

Speaker 1 (05:50):
Did you do two years?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
No? I did two thousand and five graduate. You were
twenty six.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Seven year right, okay?

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Because I confused my years in yours sometimes because that
was like a jumble for us. While I was finishing
up grad school, Deval was in the NFL for his
first year, so we had one year we were doing
the whole distance thing. But you made me realize in
that moment that a day with K what I want
it to be is more than and what it will
be is more than just an extension of Dead Ass podcast.

(06:17):
But it's me getting a chance to finally put my degree,
my tools, my talents to use. It's journalists. I didn't
even think of it that way because we're so accustomed
to the Dead Ass live experience being just like really entertainment.
It's just like a fun night where people come out.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
We had the DJ, we had the theatric and I
going to be that. However, a day with K not
having you on the forefront, as you know, a co host,
It'll just be me and having moments where I am
displaying the things that I had worked so hard for
that I haven't been able to exercise.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
And before we get here, the podcast in itself was
all dedicated towards Kadeen becoming a daytime talk show host.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I remember we sat down with.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
Our manager at the time and they had asked us,
you know, are you guys interested in doing the podcast?
And I had said, at that time, the only way
I'll do a podcast. If this can parlay into Ky
getting her own show.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
That's a fact. And that's the reason why some episodes
it almost seems as if I'm interviewing you. I mean,
depending on the topic. But that's why it seems that way,
or I seem of support to you, because a lot
of times it's me trying to keep those you know,
journalism skills sharp and you know it then became, of
course Deval and Kadeen throwing some personality in there, and

(07:37):
then in the live shows of course, including every one
of the audience, including the rest of the cast at
this point, which I feel like we have a cast
between DJ Executive Triple and everyone. So a day with
k is going to be just that, except we're going
to pull the valve from it because Deval is now
super busy doing his acting thing, which was the goal
to begin with. So I have to in this moment,

(07:59):
I know we're talking about to day, but I want
to give you your accolades and flowers because you've worked
so hard to establish yourself as a legitimate actor in
the acting world in space and as you pull away
from you know, the influencer title or the social media dad,
the godfather of family content as you pull away from

(08:20):
those titles and you really lean more into being a thespian.
This is also going to allow me the space and
grace to grow in a journalism or a more journalistic
approach to how I conduct a day with K.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
And also also just to be clear, when we told
you guys this was going to be a last day
as podcast tour this past year, we were telling the truth, like,
because of my work schedule and the fact that both
of us still are really dedicated to being parents, we
had to figure out what was the best thing for
our family, what was the best thing for our careers
moving forward.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
And we don't want to give.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Y'all bullshit, Like we was like, we can just come
out here and just throw anything together, you know, just
to sell tickets. But we were like, no, it's just
too important for us, yes to do that. But then
K was just like, well, what about meet us doing
a day with K where I go out on the
road and I do all these things, And she had
so many great ideas. You can tell them the ideas, maybe,
but what you gonna do for the show, because the

(09:15):
show is going to be slightly different, But what the
show is and what it provides for the locations we
go for those cities, it's going to be huge.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah, So before I start on that, you guys have
been accustomed to and it makes sense for the Dead
Ass podcast seeing Deval and Kadeen is the collective. But
what we're trying to do more so now is to
straight away from the Deval and Kadeen that you saw
on like Black Love or like doing everything with family content.
We also have individual paths that we're trying to pursue

(09:48):
more actively, and I think both of us turning forty,
we just kind of felt like, Okay, this was a
good time for us to just breathe new life into
what the Ellises have been, but also to what Deval
and Kadeine looked like independent. So a day with k
I'm excited about because when we go to these respective
cities where I'm going to have these live shows and tours,

(10:08):
I want to take opportunities in each city that I
go to to highlight some local heroes, local businesses, up
and coming people who are in those spaces who would
like who have something interesting to share, something different. So
think about if you will. Barbara Walters meets Oprah meets

(10:29):
Ellen meets Kadean. I was gonna say Kadeen would be
a little bit of everybody, kind of like pool together,
but in a live experience so that people can I
love what I wanted to maintain as I try to
catapult myself into a talk show esque space. I do
love the live show aspect. I love being in front

(10:51):
of an audience. I love feeling the energy of the crowd.
I love being able to look you all in the
eyes and say, oh my god, y'all came out here
for me. We're gonna have a good time. So there's
going to still be a great balance of girls' night partying,
getting together, karaoke, DJ and all that it's going to be.
It's going to be fun, but it's also going to
be mixed in with some deep down conversations. It's going

(11:14):
to be mixed with a lot. So I don't want
to give away too much because I want to give
you a little bit of what to expect, but also
to as we curate this show, to make it the
best experience that it can be for you all. I
just want to also talk to you and you can
email Triple and and be like me, what are some
things that y'all want to see on a day with K.
What are some things that you want to see more
of from me? Because that's been the request a lot lately.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Let me be an executive producer in this moment.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
If you want to be a guest on a Day
with K and we're coming to your city, because we
are coming to your city. We're coming back to Chicago, Chicago,
going finally coming to Florida, Gloria.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Y'all been asking forever for us to get this. Y'all
better show up and show out and sell out because listen,
we haven't.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Been to Florida.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I have a special guest in Florida. So yeah, already,
don't don't sleep, baby, don't sleep Houston.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
We're coming back to Houston to do another show there.
But if you want to be a guest on a
Day with K, if you have a unique story, an
interesting job, a story that can help save lives. Because
because Kadeen, when I tell you she's been on this
health trip since she's turned forty, she is going to
be speaking to some women who have some unique perspectives
on how they.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
Save their own lives, oh for sure, and they're willing.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
To share that story for you guys, so that you learn,
you know, everything doesn't always land on your doctor or
your primary care physician. So this goal is to do
some introspective lifestyle journalism. And if you want to be
a guest on a day with K writing, if we're
going to come to your city and you're going to
be at the show writing, and we can make you
a part of the show. Because remember Dad's podcast has
always been about you guys. Anyway, anyway, you know, whenever

(12:47):
we did the listener letters, when we brought people from
the stands on stage, it's for y'all, And it's the
same thing.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
It's just going to be K curating it the way
she wants to do it.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, I want to talk about everything, you know. I
want to talk about business, I want to talk about motherhood.
I want to talk about womanhood. I want to talk
about the women three sixty. You know, there's so many
different components that we have to be concerned about as women.
So if I can find people who are doing things
in different respective areas that can impact us and motivate
us and inspire us as a whole as a woman,

(13:16):
like hey, come on down. I am excited to see
you start writing into Todad's advice at gmail dot com.
I think that was a good email address for now
until we do anything further, but I think it's going
to be really, really a good a good time.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
And also also just to be clear, it isn't a
great space for women, but it's not only for women, right.
I had so many dudes who ask me, like, yo,
where could I find a place to meet a woman
that is looking to be a woman through sixty who
wants to have a career but also be a.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Mom and a wife.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
These are the places, gentlemen, if you're looking for someone
who is of equal yoke to you, if you're determined
and deliberate about being a husband and a father and
a provider and all of the an entrepreneur, come to
these events and see that there are other women. There
are women we are thinking just like you. People are
trying to be delivered about the next steps in their lives.
So this is not just for women.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
That's a fact.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
But be comfortable women when you come, because k is
going to gear it towards you guys.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
That's a fact. And it's funny you mentioned that. That's
good because I wanted to say also too, my guests
are not only going to be women, right, I want
to hear from men as well too. So if you
are you know, a man who has a business, or
if you're a woman whose husband does something, or if
you just know somebody doing something interesting, I would love
for that to be a space for y'all to come
to because historically with our dead ass podcasts, it's funny,
we used to see people come together couples and the

(14:31):
women would bring the guys along, or one of the couple.
One of the people in the couple, a man or woman,
would bring their partner along, and one partner sometimes didn't
know why they were there or what the show was
about or what's the live podcast. But it's nice when
you can just bring someone along for a date night
and just make it an evening where we can have
some fun together, you know, make it a weekend trip.

(14:51):
If you want to come down to Florida with some
girlfriends or with a couple of couples, you know, to
have a good time. That's exactly what we're looking for.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
I'm just thinking about.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Sorry, so what are you most excited about?

Speaker 1 (15:04):
For it?

Speaker 3 (15:05):
To be honest, man, I'm just I'm excited to see
you in your journalism bag, but also in your entertainer bag,
because I feel like oftentimes you had to be the
host of that ass podcast. Well I entertained, made people laugh,
That's how it naturally was. But I'm interested in seeing
you do all of this on your own because I've

(15:25):
seen you do it in different facets. I've seen you
go out and you know, be guests on other people's podcasts,
but also other hosts shows that are online and stuff
like that, and I've seen you do that, and I
just want to see you continue to do it more
in a larger scale, yeah, you know, and not be partnered.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
With someone or something.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
You know that someone is me, I know.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
I mean, if I'm going to be partnering with anybody,
you're the best person for me to be partnered with.
But I'm looking forward to being able to get back
into that journalistic bag, that lifestyle journalism, to really look
at the facts. I feel like right now, with so
many people having social media and the access to a microphone,
you know, everybody got a podcast, everybody got to show.
Everybody has something that they're producing and putting together, and

(16:08):
you know, I kind of want to take it back
to some fact based stories where we can really say,
this is what's actually happening. Here are the experts in
those fields, These are are the realities, you know, because
for so long we talked about perception and reality in
an episode where a lot of people's perceptions are based
off of how they've been skewed by whatever they consume

(16:30):
or the algorithm feeds them on social media. So I
want to take it back to a space where we're
not just getting together and we're shooting the shit and
talking about you know, random things or current events, but
things that are actually life changing people who are out
there changing lives and doing things and moving and shaking
and may just need that spotlight on them because they're
doing things that are really progressive.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
Well, let me ask a question, who is this generation's
Barbara Walters Oprah Winfrey, who's doing lifestyle journalism? Because that's
what Barbara Walters and Oprah did. You know They didn't
just go interview celebrities all the time and go to
their house.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, Barbara Walters.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
Interviewed Michael Jackson, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Michael Jordan and Tom
Cruise like they did celebrities as well, which you're probably
going to do as well too, because you have so
many celebrity friends who would want to come down and
share their stories with you, so you can expect that
part as well. But who is the person that's also
sitting down to the doctor who found a cure for

(17:28):
a cancer or found a treatment that is helping people
live longer with a cancer or an HIV, or who's
helping women deal with their mental health. Like, who are
the interviewers now that we know that we say, you know,
when I watched this show or when I listen to
this person speak, they're coming with fat base statistics and
actual knowledge on what are the things affecting us as

(17:52):
a community and not just infusing it with their own
opinion or real journalism or.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Being skewed by their network, right, because you have some
people who are great with, you know, delivering stories and
talking about what's happening, but it's also going to be
of course packaged in a way that's suitable and approved
by whatever their media outlet is.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
You know, that's that's a good point that you brought
that up, because I think the greatest thing about A
Day with K is that we plan on having sponsors
we do, but everything is funded by us.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, so no one can tell you what to say,
what to say, what guests to have.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
So you're not being skewed, like you said, by not
only a network, but by the big money people who
are saying, I'm giving you this money, so you can't
speak about that.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
It's more genuine to.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
The people who live in those communities because we're not
going to be skewed by anyone else saying no, that's
off topic.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yep, that's a great point that you made. I mean,
I think that's that rings true to how the Ellises
have been conducting themselves in business since we started this thing,
you know what, eight years ago now. Absolutely so many
offerers have come in for TV shows in reality space
and I could have picked up and said, you know
what I can, Yeah, I can promote this and sell
that and just be a business woman and do all

(19:07):
these things. But at what cost, you know.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
And that's no knock on the women who've done those things.
But Kadeen and I have made it very clear, and
Kadeen was very clear with this that she was like,
I don't want to ever take a job just based
on the money. And people have asked you for a
long time, So what's next for you, Kadeen?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
What's next for you?

Speaker 3 (19:26):
And even even when we're at the live show, so
many women saying what's next for you? Kadeen could have
been taken a job or a role or something, but
it was never in alignment with what she wanted to do.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
It really was for her audience, for my audience, and
you guys are really at the root of it. I mean,
next to my family, and of course you like keeping
in mind like I have four sons, I have my
husband here. My family means everything to me, not just
my immediate my extended family. So wanting to always control
our narrative and not have somebody else control it for
us or skew it in some kind of way, it

(19:57):
just didn't work for me. And for some people that's
okay and that's cool, but for me that wasn't the case.
So I think a day with k is a way
of propelling myself into that space where people can see
me as a respected journalist again in a sense, lifestyle
journalists who's just you know, really looking for those really unique,

(20:17):
fun stories that can really impact you. Guys.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
I'm excited, I really am excited. Because even the idea
of taking a daytime talk show, because that's what A
Day with K is, and taking it to each city is,
I don't think anyone has ever done that before.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
You can count them dead ass. The elis is to
do something people ain't done before.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Do something very different, different. Yeah, because I think it was.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
A matter of Josh one of them had pointed out
to us that A Day with K is a daytime
talk show because it's filmed in front of a live
studio audience. It just so happens that the live studio
audience happens to be the auditorium that we've curated with
these people. So it's like we're filming a live daytime
talk show in each individual city.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
It's dope. It's just dope.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
And focusing on their local artists, their local entrepreneurs just
gives an opportunity for those some of those cities who
never get to shine, to actually be upfront, you know,
just be upfront and be on the forefront of all
of these different things.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
The biggest question is because Deval was like trying to
convince me of this, but I'm like, I don't know
if it's going to work. So if you guys were
at one of our shows this past February, one of
our Love against the World tour shows, yes, it made
sense for us to do a play on Devusher and
Kansi because of course we were coming off of Usher's
residency the super Bowl, then him announcing his world tour,
and then you had Beyonce on the Renaissance tour. So

(21:40):
it made sense for us to do kind of a
spoof but a dance routine around it. I feel like
you need to open a routine. I feel like you
need a little something. It don't kind of be a
full on dance with dances and costume changes and everything,
but you need something. So if you vote for me
to have a dance, I'm gonna listen to y'all because
I was the first one to be like, I am
not dancing.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
A hold on, can I put this in? Just put
this in.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
You are not dancing in the leotar because that leotard
got swallowed. And one thing we stretched, one thing we
learned about, like performances and stuff. There's a reason why
dancers do full choreography in their cost.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Beforehand.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
Yes, because had we known that your ass was going
to swallow up that leotar. We probably would have made
some adjustments, but we didn't. You didn't dance until in
that full uniform, until you got there the day off. Yes,
but I'm just putting this out there as your executive
producer slash husband, that you will not be doing no
performances in the leotar.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
That's no more.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
We retired that TD Cakes.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
TD Cakes is not going to be performing anymore.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
Gave you that it was great, that it was great.
I'm gonna leave it up to y'all. If y'all want
to see me do a little you know, eight count
situation whatever like that, I do it. But it's going
to retire that.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
I'm just sitting here telling you I'm excited because even
when I think about daytime TV, but also.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Is it called late night television?

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Yeah, I feel like you you move more towards late
night television because even some of the jokes you say
that even some of the things you do as a
as a woman and a mom and a wife, it's
not always daytime friendly.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
No, like you're gonna you still gonna be k Yes, that's.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
A good point to me because I know, yeah, because
when you hear like journalistic approach, and you hear like
lifestyle journalism. I don't want y'all feel like it's gonna
be something stuffy, right and we're gonna sit and watch
these long packages like that's not what That's not what
it's gonna be. I'm still gonna be kk I'm still
gonna be true to who I am, gonna be true
to dead ass. I'm still gonna be dropping it, and y'all,
y'all have to come prepared to be able to reciprocate

(23:47):
that it's gonna be. You want the same energy, you
want the same energy. I want y'all coming there, turning up,
and it's gonna be a good It has to be
a good time. But I want it to be a
thing where you're gonna have so many emotions that you
feel that evening. I want a couple of tears, because
you have a couple of tears, because you can relate
a couple. I want you to scream, I want you
to dance. I want all the things.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
It's going to be a mix of Sherry. She's hilarious,
but because she has that comedic aspect and she's funny
and she gets out there and does stuff, but also
a mix between her and Tam because when you look
at what Tam has done in the journalist space, in
the journalism space, like she's a legend.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
So it will be like a mix of the two.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
So be ready to come have fun and joke around
and laugh, but also listen to some stories that makes
you be like wow, like I didn't know that that
was that important. But and also it won't be daytime
because it's not gonna be PG like That's why I'm saying,
it's more like late nights, you know what I'm saying,
more like late night now. And have there been many
women who've done late night television? Most of the time

(24:51):
is men.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
No, Like you have Jimmy Kimmel, you have, we don't watch.
But there was woman at the time.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
There was a young woman who had a late night
show for a little bit during the pandemic. I can't
remember her name. She was an influencer at first, and
they put her on late night. I remember it was
Lily Sing. Lily Sing had a late night show. But
even on her late night show, she did skits.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
You know.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
She had a part where she had did like a
little dance routine that was part of a skit. And
when I think about what Lily Sing was doing in
the late night space, I'm kind of like that reminds
me of k I just feel like you're more journal
You do way more journalism than Lily Sing because she
was a comedian. She was a host, so she was
being a host and a comedian. And although you can

(25:36):
be funny, you're rooted in the truth and you're rooted
in what the message is going.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
To be about the story is but.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Doing it in a funny way.

Speaker 3 (25:45):
So if we had to go again, we would have
to say it would be Barbara Walters slash Oprah, slash
Tam slash Chrry Seppard slash Lily Sing.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
It's all of that wrapped up.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
Slash beyond little little sprinklings slash Beyonce. And you you
are a little ratchets. So you got little Cardi, a
little Cardi or is it more Nicki Minaje Cardi b
Or is it little Kim Little? Because matter of fact,
that was little, that was its more little Kim.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
It was my era.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, it's more little. It's a mix of all of
those things.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
And because you Caribbean, you could throw a little Rihanna
in there because you're gonna be a billionaire and I
need that break.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
I'll be a little a sap on the side. I'm
gonna be chilling on.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
The side, like that's my baby, You're gonna come.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
If I'm not filming, I will definitely be in the building.
I'm definitely gonna be back there with my headsets and
our lights.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Can we get the lights down? K need lights.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
I'm excited. I'm excited to curate the team. I mean,
I also even just think, shout out to my team. Man.
I'm thinking about how much fun we had on tour
for Love against the World with our crew. You know,
we had a couple of changes to the crew, but
it's like all great changes. I'm excited to see how
we're going to curate this experience for y'all. You know,
just just just tell me more, tell me more, because

(27:08):
I've seen a lot of you. And Triple has also
mentioned it too, that people write in like, you know,
what's K doing with this? And can we see K
do that? Now? Is your opportunity, y'all. I'm asking you,
I'm asking you what you want to see more of
because I'm dedicating this portion of my life for the
foreseeable sable future into really seeing what this is going

(27:31):
to look like for me as I propel myself into
those spaces that I've always wanted to be in. And
it really just also takes me back to thinking about
being a high school student, high school graduate and really
being on the fence about what I wanted to do
with my life and how I was going to tell
my family that I did not want to carry the

(27:53):
medical field of torch and having the courage to say
I'm not doing it inventional way, you know, doing one
year local at Acunity College and then getting into a
program where I'm doing communication, and for me, this is
like very personal too. It's very personal because it's me
proving to myself as well that I can do this.

(28:14):
I even admitted to the crew last night that I
am actually terrified to do this in a.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Sense, I'm happy terrified.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
Do you want to know why you've been terrified to do
a lot of things over this past year and delivered.
I'm going to start because turning forty, you said, when
we got the opportunity to walk in Fashion Week for
the first.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
Time, oh my god, terrified.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
This and this is the truth, guys, and this is
why I'm so excited. There were times in our relationship
where I felt bad because you over ten year spin
you got pregnant four times, and I felt like, damn,
I got pregnant five times. He got pregnant five times,
and I felt like I got a chance to chase

(28:53):
all of my dreams without any hesitation or any pause.
And there were times where I would just look at
you and just be like, she's dedicating this part of
her life to our family. I can't wait until all
of this is done and she can get ready to
dedicate her life to herself. And watching you over the
past year, right starting with last summer, I know you

(29:16):
guys have noticed how because these bodies changed, you changed
your diet, You started going to the doctor more often,
You're eating completely different. You're working out every single day,
even days like today when we do two podcasts, She's
leaving here and going to work out, and it's like
it's it's and when I mean workout, I mean just
going to a gym and just doing squats. She's going

(29:36):
to a sports performance gym where she is training like
I trained when I was getting ready.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
For full all that's a push for myself, like.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Doing high performance dynamic training, and I'm watching your body change,
and I'm watching you age backwards. And you are going
to be the representative of a woman who says, my
dreams were deferred but never denied. I got everything I
want out of life. Maybe I didn't get it at
the same time, but I got it last year going

(30:05):
into September, you were terrified to walk across that stage
in fashion, and I watched you bust your ass to
get in shape.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Bro Let me just paint the picture real quick for y'all.
When we got to the Actively Black Fashion Show. You know,
as a woman, naturally you get there and you're looking
at the other women around you. Okay, some of whom
I'm like, do you have any kids? Do you have
any kids? Because it's just so natural thing that happens
when you have children that you are hyper sensitive about
how your body has changed and it's not the same.

(30:33):
And I got there into that room and I was like, man,
I know I worked, but did I work enough?

Speaker 1 (30:39):
You know?

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Yeah? I got these stretch bards. There's twenty something year
olds in here. You know, bodies are on point. Never
had a kid in they day, And I really at
that moment was terrified and then had the incident where
my legs were bruised. Yeah, you know the morning of
and you.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
Know what happened when your back was against the wall
and all odds were against you, you know what you did.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Push it through?

Speaker 1 (31:01):
You showed up I did.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
That's why I'm excited about you being nervous, because when
you get nervous, you over prepare, which means if you're
over preparing for this because you're nervous, they're going to
get a show that they never never expected from you.
That's why I'm excited, and I want to see people
just be excited for you. Not excited for you as
oh that's Devoo's wife. No, just excited for that's Kadem,

(31:25):
that's KK. You know what I'm saying like that, I'm
just excited about that.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
I just I love that. Thank you, babe, Thank you,
Thank you for always seeing me.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
And knowing you You saw me, you supported me.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Yeah, and it really I'll be transparent with you guys
in this moment and say, like a lot of the
past decade, having children and coming back and stuff, it
allowed for a little bit of I think self sabotage
and self doubt to creep in because it made me
feel like, all right, well, I'm pretty comfortable, like if
I don't do another thing from a career perspective, pestionally,

(32:01):
You've also made it clear that I would be okay,
the family would be.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
You don't have to do it right, I don't have
to have any of this.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
So I could easily be like, you know what, let
me let this doubt and fair and you know, these
these these insecurities that I may have, I can just
sit in them, and I can just not do a
live show, and we can just not do live shows anymore,
and Devalu can go on to be an actor and
I can be a wife and mom and continue to
do my little brand partnerships and be a business woman.

(32:26):
And I would have to be in this space. But
what I'm doing is I'm forcing myself to step into
a bit of a discomfort zone. If you will, I
look at my boys. I can't preach to them about
conquering their fears and doing things outside of their you know,
comfort zone if I'm not doing it, and I want
to be deliberate and have the conversations with my boys

(32:47):
and let them know your mom is about to do
a show by herself, Like, do you know how nervous
I am, but how excited I am for it too?
And I want them to see the process through for
me in the next couple months as I prepare for this.
That's important to me. You are about thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
I hope you know that, but I want that going
to be un fucking real.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
And I just wanted to be a motivation to anybody listening,
man or woman or in between, like I want you
to know that if you really feel inside that you
can do it, don't let fear stop you, don't let
doubt stop you. You know, I know that anybody in
attendance in that building is going to be someone who
came there specifically for me, who pay their money for

(33:31):
their ticket to see me. And I never take that
for granted that you guys support us in so many ways,
whether it's time, whether it's sharing, whether it's financially, whether
it's you know, buying a book or buying a ticket,
Like I really don't take any of that for granted.
So I'm excited. I mean, I'm nervous, but in an
excited kind of way.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
So you know, as a fan, like I'm over here smiling.
I don't over here. I can hear it, but I
can't wait to like, like sit.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Back fan over here, y'all.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
No, I can't wait to sit back and just watch.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yeah, you know, because I've become a fan of yours
as well. Whenever you do something without me, it's like
I said, what happened, let me see you know, like
when you wanted to go speak at Men's Choice, Like
I want to see the video.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
I want to you know what I'm saying. We sat
here and worked on your speech, and you.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
Have your own way of doing things, and I've learned
to just be like, dang, like she really put that together.
Like I'm controlling. I'm a control freak and I just
I want everybody around me to do well. So I'm like,
why don't you try this? Wyann't you do this? And
you took a little piece in you like okay, okay,
not using that, Yeah, you're using this. And then to hear, no,
to see these twenty two year old men who don't

(34:40):
have kids, didn't have girlfriends run up on us when
we went to this next event and give you a
big hug and talk about something. Your speech was so
dynamic and I'm just like, at twenty two, I wasn't
listening to no women's speech thinking that it was dynamic.
But these men, these young men ran up on you.
Was like, oh my gosh, mister Ellis.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
But you're right. Yeah, I spoken a More for Choice event,
just shared my birthing story and how Devo was of
support to me when I was pregnant and through my
deliveries and all of that, and yeah, you're right. A
couple of the young men after were just like, oh,
miss Ellis, like you were so so dynamic.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
It said you were dynamic. They came up to me,
was like, your wife is funny, and I'm just like, dang.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
I wish I would have been there to see it,
because because one thing young men don't do now you're
you're beautiful, you know, I get that. They didn't come
up to me and be like, oh my god, your
wife fine, because these.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Are young you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
They came up to me and it was just like, man,
your wife told her birthday story. Man, it was so
dynamic and she's funny. Not once did they mention what
you look like, which I understand at twenty two year old,
that's the first thing you look at and a woman.
But think about how many how many men right there,
you've probably changed their perspective on what women.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Are and can be in any space.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Yeah, because you got up there and you you were
very deliberated about how you were going to dress as well,
which is me, which is why I love why you
do everything you do because you're aware of everything. You're
aware of who your husband is, You're aware of who
you are, You're aware of who's going to be in
the crowd. You even said to me, I'm not going
to go with a skirt because if I'm standing on
the if I'm standing on the stage and there's a podium,

(36:13):
they're going to be looking up.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
These are things that as a man, I've never even
ever thought.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
About, but these are things that you are like I'm
going to and I guess that goes back to your
pageant days because you've done this before. But I cannot
wait until people get a chance to see you, like
in all of you and just know there's going to
be so many more opportunities after this, Like.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
It's going to be it's already been delivered.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
God, He's literally like now it's the time, and like
you said something. Being deferred and not denied is so major,
I think for so many components of our life, because
there have been moments where were just like, damn, why
didn't that work out?

Speaker 4 (36:49):
Why?

Speaker 2 (36:49):
And you don't question it after a while, like when
you get to this maybe it's an age thing, or
you just get to enough life experience you just realize that, like, man,
I'm not going to question anymore why something didn't happen
moment because I was not ready to receive that blessing.
But I feel like God is walking me into a
space where I am ready or he's saying ready or not, sis,

(37:10):
He's kind of like it ain't really to ready or not.
And I also think about the span of which you
guys have gotten to know me. It's been about what
eight years. Cairo was about to be eight, so it's
been about eight years. And for the most part, most
people have seen Kadeine the wife, the mom, and been pregnant, yeah, wife,
the mom, you know, and coming back in between pregnancies

(37:32):
and stuff. But it's a whole side of me that
people don't even know, that people have not experienced, and
that is a portion that I'm excited to let you
guys into a little bit because I feel like that
portion of my life was curated for social media and
for a purpose because it worked at that time. But
it was really at the root of it, Deval trying
to expand his career as an actor, and then me

(37:55):
trying to expand my career as a host, journalist, all
of that good stuff. So this is going to be
the perfect place in space to do that.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
And be very deliberate. You're not just the host. You
are a journalist. You went to school for this. You
had to take exams and pass tests and go through
rigors to get your master's degree, graduated cum laude, right
to do what you do. And I think that's important
to when people even think about dead ass podcasts and

(38:24):
like people say, it's just something different about that as podcasts.
Feel like I learned so much in part because we
have a producer in Trouble who always make sure that
when we speak on something, we speak on something in
a factual manner. It's not always based on opinions. We
give our opinions about what we think. But that portion
about facts and stacks was deliberate because this is also

(38:45):
a part of journalism. It's not just about what we
think about everything, and I think that's what's missing in
today's society. You know, everyone has a platform, yes, but
have you done any research to see if your words
or what you're sharing or spewing to the general public
is going to be helpful or hurtful?

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Right?

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Or what you're consuming there's already fact. But you know
how many times I've heard people come to me and say,
you saw that this, this is that happen, and I
was like, did it really happen? And then you come
to find a literally didn't happen. It was just something
that was completely false, just saying it, just to say it.
So yeah, that being said, I'm excited to spend some
time with y'all. Be on the lookout for lots of
announcements coming up in the near future about what A

(39:24):
Day with K is going to look like. Dead Ass
Podcast presents a Day with K, and I'm looking forward
to curating a really, really awesome evening with you guys
in your respective cities. So get excited. We're going to
roll out the cities soon and you know, get those
tickets on and popping.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
I got my moment of truth. So after we do
this moment.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
All right, cool, wonderful, wonderful. All right, let's take a
quick break. We're going to pay some bills and we're
going to get back into some list of letters, because
of course we have never had an episode with that one,
so stick around. All right, we're back. Let's dive into
some listener letters. Do you want to go first, babe,

(40:07):
I'll go first, baby, Okay? Cool?

Speaker 1 (40:09):
What's up? Kadeen and Duvou?

Speaker 3 (40:10):
First off, absolutely love you guys. I'm low key scared
to meet child because I may ugly. You are like
my big brother and sister in my head, and I
appreciate the guidance you provide me. I've been in therapy
for four years now and have the same therapists. Absolutely
love her and she has played a huge part in
my mental health journey. Ninety nine percent of the time.
I'm receptive and take accountability to do the work, But

(40:32):
there is this one specific thing I can't seem to
adjust my therapist has wanted me to work on. I'm
a single, childless, thirty six year old who does is
this Yeah, does desire marriage and family. I'm also okay
if it doesn't happen, and my therapist thinks I should
consider a man who could be walking on in his
purpose and enjoys what he does. Example, she uses a

(40:54):
teacher but doesn't make a lot of money, but is
able to take care of himself. For me, would he
be able to take on more than himself with that
same income in a growing economy? For me, it's not
about an actual dollar amount, but about mindset. I value
stability in partnership, so I'm not looking to put sole
responsibility on the man, but I do hope to have
a partner with a growth mindset. I was raised very

(41:16):
similar to you both as far as two working parents households,
but only two kids. Could definitely use that third sibling
in the world, so my values are also rooted in that.
And two, I've had to watch and financially help my
older by ten years struggling married with kids and dang
ten plus years now, wait help my older by ten

(41:37):
years struggling old must be SI sibling married with kids
for ten plus years now, and believe a lot of
my desires are coming from there as well, me not
wanting to experience that. I understand that my sister's husband, Yeah,
that's what we're talking about. Literally watches her struggle, be depressed,
scrape by and lean on me and my parents and
doesn't blink an eye. That's why she feels the way

(41:58):
she is fucking corny. At the end of the day,
accountability is on my sister for being and staying in
this situation. Very true, But I do what I can
now with boundaries solely for my nieces. I understand that
marriage will have seasons where it's not always going to
look the same as far as fifty to fifty, eighty twenty,
et cetera. I'm not looking for them to have a
certain number, but I can't see myself with a partner

(42:20):
who would be okay with struggling and or just barely
making it long term. I do all for myself now
and will continue to work towards growth. I'm naturally driven
and ambitious, so big brow and big systs. Should I
compromise on my values or should I tell my therapist
to shut that shit up?

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Shut that shit up, therapist? How dare you tell somebody
that they should lower their sandals, their standards and just settle.
That's just literally a recipe for disaster. Lowering your standards
settling for somebody who is not in a growth mindset,
and you have to end up struggling the fact that
you said that you're thirty six desire marriage and children,

(42:56):
but you are okay if it doesn't happen. I think
is a good mindset to have. Yeah, yeah, because that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
I agree to me. The mindset is more important than
the dollar amount. A growth mindset means that no matter
what amount of money you make, you're always in a
position where you're trying to get more, which means you
could be a multi millionaire, but you're like, hey, I
want to continue to grow. And a growth mindset also
allows you to be with a person, a person who
welcomes change. You know, it's hard to be stuck with

(43:26):
someone who only wants to be where they are in
that moment, because if you like to grow, which it
seems like she likes to grow, how can you sit
there and settle with someone who doesn't. At this point,
it's not even about the dollar amount. It's about the
ability to.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
Change, to change much as.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
I wouldn't settle at all.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Absolutely not, And that is literally going to lead to resentment. Yes,
I can tell you right now, if you speak to
your sister, she probably resents her husband, yes, or watching
her struggle and scrape and scrap around, And yeah, I've
experienced this with family members. I've witnessed similar situations happen.
And I think you're doing the right thing where you
say you can now solely help to provide for your

(44:02):
nieces because they're here innocently based off of their parents,
and they shouldn't have to struggle as well either. So
I have been in spaces where I was deliberate, deliberate
about supporting or providing for somebody specifically within the household,
because that's the person I care to provide for, and
then everybody else around that was there picking ass, not
doing shit all day. Well, y'all had to figure that

(44:22):
shit out. I'm going to help what I need to
help or want to help in this moment, because if not,
all you're doing is further coddling the situation and giving
them a level of comfort that they're not ever going
to get out of. They're going to be relying on
you till that kingdom comes. So yeah, tell your therapists
that we ain't about that life. We're not about to settle.
I agree you should not have to compromise on your
values and who's meant for you. As you continue to

(44:45):
walk in your purpose of who you are, they'll meet you.
They'll meet you.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
Can I say this too?

Speaker 3 (44:51):
We do live in a time now with social media
that a lot everyone has the ability to have a platform,
which is fine.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Right, Just stay with me for a minute. How many
people there on the earth.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
Let's just say it's six billion, right, six billion are
not going to be overachievers. What's happening now is that
I noticed that a lot of people who are overachievers,
who aspire more, they're now being shamed.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
You know, you work too much. Your mental health is
going to suffer. You think you're better than people.

Speaker 3 (45:22):
You should be comfortable being average, or be comfortable not trying.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Or you're part of Illuminati. Did you hear that Kevi
on stage just recently posted you said he first, he
got his first like Illuminati comments or something like that.
I agree with him, though, and I'm just like, Okay,
I agree with it.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
But that's the mindset of these people that I'm talking about. No,
for sure the minute now, you you had to worship
the devil to get that. No, I just worked harder. Yeah,
I thought more.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
It's a way for people to validate their mediocrity. Yes,
and validate the stuff that you're not doing, because people
are consistent, and they're working hard, and they're as every
day every day, and it eventually starts to come to
fruition whatever it is you see the fruits of your labor.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
So, Mama, this is what I will tell you. If
you're listening to majority of the world who is going
to tell you that it's okay to just settle, don't
listen to them because it doesn't seem like anything you've
ever done in your life has been about settling. So
if you haven't settled in any aspect of your life,
do not settle when it comes to picking a partner
that you want to live the rest of your life with.

(46:29):
I don't care how many people tell you your standards are
too high.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
I don't care.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
Those people will never have to walk a mile in
your shoes because they're your shoes.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Period.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
Go get what you want. And here's another thing. Say
you don't get married and you don't have kids. You've
worked your ass off, you can afford to adopt.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
It's given rich Auntie to You can afford.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
To just have you a couple guys that you play
with if you need to get your rocks knocked off
a little bit.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
You know what I'm saying, Like what I'm saying is right.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
What I'm saying is if you want to be swapped,
don't don't settle because other people are telling you you
should be comfortable settling.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
Therapist, I don't care. You know in your heart what
you want.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
Don't let people shame you for warning more from yourself
or more out of your person. At the same time,
don't shame people who don't want more. We're not shaming them.
You know what you want the same way I know
what I want. And when you know what you want,
go out and get it because you deserve it.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
Period poo. All right on to the next one. My
husband and I are hardworking to pay off a three
hundred thousand dollars debt, mostly business debt, half of which
has amassed from specifically a bad business deal with an
immediate family member on my side who left us with
all the bills and no help after one year in business. Yikes.

(47:45):
We both now work corporate jobs making four hundred k
a year. As a household my husband was self employed
for a year trying to manage the businesses. He also
has a property that he also has a property that
he doesn't do a good job managing, so we pay
its mortgage while no one is living there. It's not familiar. Yeah,

(48:06):
you know somebody else has been through this. It needs
repairs before we can sell it. His family has lived
there in the past when needing to get on their feet,
but never paid us. My husband lacks the focus to
rent it out, being that he now works full time.
All of this is very stressful individually. I wish he
could take charge of it all. But take charge of

(48:26):
all of this, but I'm the more detail oriented partner
and the realist slash warrior, while he is more of
the constant optimist. How do we say hopeful and keep
this from splitting us apart? Signed Sleepless and newlywed hood
and married man.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Well, the first thing, the first thing stop doing is
stop saying your family my family, because that creates resentment.
You know, your family got us into this deal, but
your family lived in this house. When you start the
blame game, that's when it becomes more personal. And you
guys have married your one union, so it's both your family.
So deal with the fact that both of your families
are fucked up freeloaders. So what and here's your truth? No, seriously,

(49:10):
you guys make four hundred K year.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
I don't know. Did she say they have kids?

Speaker 2 (49:14):
I didn't see. They're new the weed, so maybe they
don't do.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Don't have kids?

Speaker 3 (49:18):
You make four hundred k year after taxes, you you
know they're probably going to tax you. I don't know
how they pay their taxes, but at least forty percent,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
So that's what one hundred and sixty k out of it.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
So you make two hundred and forty which is twenty
thousand dollars a month you make.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
The first thing you should do.

Speaker 3 (49:34):
Since you have business debt is try to invest as
much as you can front paying off that business debt
because that's a tax right off, which means if you
pay that business debt up front and.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Tax right off, you'll get it back in your taxes.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
That's a good point.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yeah. And then and once you put the business debt
up front.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
And then pay all of your bills afterwards, you'll have
more money to get that done with. For example, if
you make five dollars, right, you make five dollars and
you pay all your bills first, and then you save
and do everything like that. They're going to tax you
higher because you had no ride offs. You have five
dollars and you have this two dollars tax debt, and

(50:11):
you pay that first. Now they're only going to tax
you on three dollars. So then you pay your taxes
and then pay your bills. So the taxes on the
three dollars, of course, would be less than the taxes
on the five dollars. So what you have to do
is put that business debt up front, let the government
know that you're paying off business debt. Use the current
money that you have to pay off the business debt,
and then now you'll get tax at the lower rates,

(50:33):
so you have more money to use for your personal expenses.
That's the biggest thing I can give you. That's just
a business thing. Because they seem like they're a young company, you're.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Young couple trying to figure things out. Yeah, she also said, no, no,
finish your thought.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
What I was going to say is on top of that,
that's just from the financial aspect, on top of the
communication aspect. They should have every day at the end
of the night, where are we financially what are we
trying to do as a family moving forward, but also
what are we trying to do for ourselves? Because if
everything is always a focus on the business debt and
your family did this, and my family did this, especially

(51:05):
as newlyweds, your focus is only on the.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Negative, right, and on the finance portion of it, because
that seems to be where a lot of couples, you know,
fall apart.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
They said eighty percent of couples that get divorced get
divorced not because of infidelity, because of financial issues and woes.
You can avoid some of that, like I said before,
by putting a plan in place to pay that debt down,
but also using part of that money to still love
on each other.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
You know, if you make twenty thousand dollars a month,
and that's after taxes, you make twenty thousand dollars after
a month, Let's say your mortgage is five thousand a month,
that's fifteen You got two card notes, that's another three
thousand dollars, and you got twelve thousand dollars that you
can still use. Okay, you got to pay a little
bit of bills here. Okay, say you put three thousand
dollars towards bills and food and stuff. You still have

(51:50):
nine thousand dollars a month that you can use, right,
you spend five thousand to pay off that debt. Four
thousand dollars a month is for you, guys, to save.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
And do things that you can haven't build with.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
I gave them all the biggest numbers out right, But
with that four thousand thousand a month, forty eight thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
For a year, you can travel and enjoy your.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
Life, do something and kid on those state nights. Like, yeah,
you do need to pour into your marriages born to you,
and I also want to say, as newlyweds, there's also
like a sacrificial period that I feel like most couples
have when they're starting their life together. Deval and I
had it. We always say the first five years of
our marriage was just really difficult. We two had financial
struggles and things that we were trying to work through

(52:32):
as well, but at the root of it, we knew
that we wanted to stay together. We had a new
baby at the time, Like that was the core of it.
Was trying to work around it. Your husband saying he
lacks focus because he has a full time job, people
have two full time jobs, people have a full time
at a part time job. Let the focus be full
time job. But then when you clock out, this is
a priority if you guys want to get out of

(52:53):
that dead. So maybe having the conversation with him saying Babe,
I know that full time work can be a lot
and it can be stressful, but in the time that
we have or the time that we create, there needs
to be a plan to get this space rented out
so we're not paying to mortgages or in a mortgage,
or there needs to be a way to offset some
of that cost and take on that responsibility as well.
And this is another thing in closing, it'd be hard

(53:15):
to go into business with family.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Facts.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
It's so hard to go into business with family. And
it's hard to be in business with people who you
look view as family too sometimes because when things fall apart, chiall,
they can fall apart and they may be irreupparable. So
shout out to you guys for writing and thank you
so much and good luck as y'all continue to work
off this debt while staying together and.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Stop letting your family stay in that house and not
pay rent. That's unfair. To you guys.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Man, you guys are working hard, make good money. Yeah,
don't don't let that like that's too stressful. It's too stressful. Man.
When you have business, make sure that you get LLCs
and do everything above board. Protect yourself, especially with dealing
with family. Have contracts so that there's no arguments. But
you said, fuck what we said contract pay all that paper?

Speaker 1 (54:01):
When does your family do that?

Speaker 2 (54:03):
So we got a baby crying, we gotta go. No,
just kidding, all right, y'all. If you want to be
featured as a listener letter, email us at dead ass
Advice at gmail dot com.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
That's d E A D A S S A d
V I c E at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
And also use that email as well. Put in the
subject so Tripple will know a day with K like
suggestion or a day with K I did. If there's
something that you guys want to share, If you know
a local business, you know somebody who could be great
for the show, pop that in there as well.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Once again, So just to be clear, we are coming
to Chicago, we're coming to la we are going to Florida,
and we are going to Houston.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
So we'll see you in September.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Baby cannot wait. All right, y'all, moment of truth time.
We're talking a day with K and what that's going
to look like. Okay, so you said you had a
moment in the beginning of the show. Sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
This is the most selfish moment of truth ever.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
What is it? You want to see me? The lea
tard again? I know, No, don't worry all the Lea's ours.
Let's be clear that SI he had me aware for
the show. I have in my fun box, which I
like to call it, have a drawer.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
You do have a fun box?

Speaker 3 (55:09):
You felt like, how could you say that that was going.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
To be too quick? And forget who I'm talking alongside?
I have a fun drawer, so fun drawers to come on?

Speaker 3 (55:20):
Try another one, fun box ant fun draws and.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Try it again. What do you got?

Speaker 2 (55:26):
I have a fun area in my class be fun
that I have been recycling those outfits with.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
But yeah, seriously, I cannot wait to brag about my wife.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Even more than you do already.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Oh no, no, no, no, no no no. You think I
was bragging?

Speaker 3 (55:45):
Now wait until you are on tour selling out theaters
and I cannot wait. Like I look at the way
jay Z looks at Beyonce. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
I look at the way a Sap looks at Rihanna.
I just look. I look at some of these men
who have careers in their own right.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Joey bad sincerit. They're like my newest like young couple.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
I love remember watching.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
The Essence Black Women in Hollywood. Beautiful couple, and they
just are so into each other, and I love it.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
It's great to be a man and have your own
career and your your own greatness and your own right.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
But to be able to say, like, that's my wife.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
You know what I'm saying, Like, I can't wait for
people to be like, oh, Yukas, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
That's that's how I feel. Is your wife. I'm like
my husband.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
That's why I can't wait.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
I can't wagest fans since you were eighteen, right, it's crazy.
My moment of truth is pretty simple. I literally could
not do this without you, guys, like I literally could
not you devour shout out to the team Josh, Matt
and Tripple who are here every month doing the Dead
Ass podcast and then who have also spoken so much
life into me. And and and make me believe even

(56:59):
more in my that I'm capable of this. Brian Jordan Junr,
who recently added the team, be added to the team
for the Love Against the World tour. Just so many
you know, my glam team. Everybody just like pours into
me and praise over me, and I'm so grateful for them.
I'm grateful for y'all for listening, for watching. Thank you,
and I look forward to seeing you in this new space,

(57:19):
in this new era of Kadeen as I introduce you
to more of me slowly but surely slowly. But no,
it's not the fun box, for the fun drawer or
the fun anything. It's all the fun all right, all right,
But be sure you bring the fun to me when
we have our shows. And also be sure to follow
us on Patreon if you have not been doing so yet,

(57:39):
subscribe so that you can see all exclusive content between
dead Ass podcasts, video, Elli's family content, a Day with
K and then of course that's going to be uh well,
a Day with K content as well, and just more
family content there. You can follow us on social media
also dead Ass the podcast, and you can find me
at Kadeen I.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Am and I am devout and if you listen on
Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.

Speaker 4 (58:04):
Dead Ass Baby Got dead Ass is a production of
iHeartMedia podcast Network and is produced by Donor Opinya and Tribble.

Speaker 3 (58:14):
Follow the podcast on social media at dead Ass the
Podcast and never miss a Thing