October 2, 2024 • 45 mins
After a long day of work, errands, and an attempt at self-care, the question every mom hates to hear - what's for dinner? In this episode of Dead Ass Presents A Day with Kay, Khadeen talks to food blogger, tv host and chef, Alex Hill, about how her love for creating fun, flavorful dishes, keeps her motivated to enthusiastically answer that question every single day. Dead Ass.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The most dreaded question to other every mother in America, Mom,
what's for dinner?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Half the time I don't even be knowing and not
neat ideas well, okay, have no fear, just had hot
sauces here.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I love that for me because she has all the
tips and tricks. Dead ass, y'all. Hey, I'm Kadeen and
I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
You may know us from posting funny videos with our
voice and reading.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Each other publicly as.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
A form of therpy. Wait, I'll make you need therby
most days. Wow.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred,
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
We thought to take Bilotov to a whole new level.
Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
All right, story time, So I'm going to take you
back to a few thanks given to go. I want
to say a few. It's probably like twelve at this point, right.
I've been with my husband for twenty two years, married fourteen,
and this is around like the twelve year Markkay had
(01:32):
been in his family for a long time, and you know,
food is the way to the man's heart, among other things.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
But food was definitely.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Up there for my husband.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And he's from a Southern American background, and there were
certain things that I just had to learn how to
make because his mom made it, or his aunt made it,
or his grandmother or grandfather, somebody made it in the
family and they made it to a.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Level of excellent.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
See that I had so much pressure around trying to
match that, right, So I kind of sat in the
wing for a couple of years. If they ever wanted
any Caribbean food, I'm your girl, right, sign me up.
If I wasn't making it, I'd have my mom or
dad or grandma somebody make it for them.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yeah, but there was an intimidation factor that I felt.
Southern food is very intimidating because it.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Is one of those things that you just have to
get right, Like you will get your black card revoked,
you will get uninvited to the barbecue. If these dishes
don't slap. So let me tell you about my moment now, Okay,
all was it a good or bad moment?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Well, let's see.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, Okay, So about twelve years ago, it's Thanksgiving time, right,
Devo's aunt Monique is always in charge of the sweet
potato castrole. Okay, that's the thing. So candied jams people
again make it different ways. She makes it into kind
of like a castrole soul situations.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Fine, yeah, okay, see, I make mine very good.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So she had told me over the years, and I've
kind of just always had it, and she would just
tell me, oh, you just you know, you just put
a little bit of this of that.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
There's never really like an actual recipe to it.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
And I said to her, I said, you need to
like develop some sort of recipe because.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
This is like restaurant worthy. Yeah, cast role, Like I
need to have this.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So one day she had me do a whole little
like lesson with her while she made some and then
I said to her, I'm going to try to.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Do this on my own.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
This one particular Thanksgiving, Aunt Monique was not in town, okay,
and I kind of threw my hat in the ring
as the menu was being assembled in the group chat
and I said, I'll do this sweet potato casserole Aunt
moniques monique supertado castroll right, And when she gave me
(03:55):
the lesson, I didn't write everything down, but I kind
of have like a general idea because that's typically how
we cook. We could vibes the ancestors are telling them,
you know what they're telling us what to do. It's
it's baking us another story like science. But I'm like,
I'm going to give it a try. So you can
imagine my pressure to live up to her sweet potato
cast terrified of course, and then knowing that it's Thanksgiving
(04:17):
at that because you know, the bite, Like the bite
is the sweet potato cast role, the the mag and cheese,
it's the situation, the sweet and savory, right, So you
don't want your portion of that bite to fall flat. Yeah,
So I make the sweet potato casserole, you know, diligent
in the kitchen. We get the kids dressed and we
(04:38):
head over to At that time, it's just Jackson head
over to Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I grew at my in law's house and everything is
set up. Apparently my father in law he didn't know
who was making what. He was like, I'm just here
for a good time. I'm here for my plate.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So I quietly sat around as everyone made their plates
and stuff like that. So he in particular is like
the connoisseur of like food tasting. He just won't tell you,
like down to a science, what's.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
In certain dishes.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
So I see him eating, and I see him go
for this week potata casserole, and he kind of like hmm,
you know, and then he's making your nerves or like yeah.
So I'm like, because my father, like my father in
law might disown me at this time. And I see
him going and he's like hmm. And then he looks
up and he says, did Monique make this before she left?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And I said no, I made it. He said, baby,
you made that.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I thought it was gonna be bad. Oh my god,
that he feels so good. Baby. I said, yes, I
made this.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
He said, you sure Monique didn't make this before she
left to go away to wherever she went.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I said no.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I said, well, it is pretty much her recipees. I
didn't write it down, but I kind of just went
off of the vibes. And he was like, well done,
well well done, young grasshopper.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I love that. O excite.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I love that because listen, that could have completely ruined Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, and I was able to live to see another day.
Thanksgivings A it's a very I would not. I took
on Thanksgiving a couple of years ago from my mom.
But it's an intimidating holiday. It really is in the
black household, especially Hispanic caribbee all like, it's holds no bars,
it told no literally, it's especially the mac and cheese.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, there's certain dishes that Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
So that was my cooking story about the time I
made sweet potato cash role for Thanksgiving from my in
laws and everybody enjoyed the end.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I thought it was gonna be bad because I have
a bad one. Also save that I haven't okay say
that one.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Save that one.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
When we come back to story time.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
All right, now, you know this would not be an
episode without karaoke time. So my guests today, Okay, what
are we feeling for karaoke?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Hey? This is my go to karaoke song.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Oh yeah, to have to carry let's do it touch
my body? Okay ahead, go ahead, start us off, Start us off,
Touch my body, throw me on the floor.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
He browny me some more.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You know how, sometimes you don't realize what the words
are until you actually break it.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Down during karaoke.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
During karaoke, Yeah, you dirty, dirty, Touch my body, Rustle
me to the floor, Wrestle me to the floor.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
No wait, touch my body, throw me on the floor,
wrestle me around.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Hey, play with me some more.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Hey, touch my body, my hair or something like that,
something like that.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, something everywhere? Yeah, whatnot.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Well, it's giving after a nice meal and a full belly,
touch my body, touch my body, baby, that's giving all
the vibes. But let's go ahead and pay some bills
real quick. Yes, and we will come back and we
will dive into the meat of the show with my
very special guest today. I'll introduce her when we get back.
(08:06):
Stay tuned, all right. Today, I have with me someone
who I've really been following for a while and not
only admire her in her profession, but something about your
personality and her energy is that you can feel it
through the phone. And I'm like, there has to be
(08:26):
synergies here that align. And once we came out here
to the West Side, for since LA episodes. She was
at the very top of my list, and I'm so
happy to introduce to you all today.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
If you have not found out about her yet, you've
been under a rock.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Alex sale is.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
A culinary genius, chef and host of the cooking show
Spice Spice Baby on Taste Made. Alex is passionate about
bringing people together through food. The dishes she shares on
her blog just add Hot Sauce are easy, yet innovative
and can be enjoyed by the aspiring show chef or
someone just getting their feet wet in the kitchen, or
(09:03):
a mom who is looking to answer the question what
for dinner?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
The intro, Wow, Welcome to the show, Alex.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
This so one thing we're about here on Dead as
Podcasts and particularly on a day with Kate, is giving
people their flowers while they're here to smell and to
hold and to enjoy. So thank you so much for
joining me here today, Thank you for thinking of me,
and I'm excited to be here. Absolutely, you made that
so easy. So I've been following this uh just at
Hot Sauce, you know, girl, for a minute now, and
(09:38):
not only do I drool every time you post a
video with food, just watching your Instagram stories, even just
the way you interact with your friends, like you can
tell a lot about someone and you can see that
you're genuinely loved by the people who support you, by
your friends, by your family. And I really believe that
the energy that you put out is the energy you're
going to get back. So you're like a walking testimony
(09:58):
of that.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Very I love that.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, I love that. Thank you very much, and I
appreciate it. You're so welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
So go back to Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Now, you said you had a bad story, because mine
was one of those things where baby, you could have
put a sash and a crown on my head.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
So mine wasn't Thanksgiving, okay, but because it was a
black Southern household, it was in college. Ooh, and it
reminded me of my fried chicken story because to this
day I hate frying chicken because of that time.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Oh no, So I had a boyfriend at the time.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I was like I think twenty or something like that,
and I was still cooking, but obviously like I'm in college,
like I'm not like perfecting like what I love right right,
And I was like, ooh, I'm going to make like
a soulful Sunday's like meal.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
This was before hashtags, right before before hashtags.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
And I was like, invite your friends. So it was
him and his two best friends, okay, and then my
best friends. I was like, I'm going to make fried chicken.
I'm gonna do like sweet potatoes because my mom gave
me a sweet potato cashle that I've been using for years,
mac and cheese. She gave me her recipe. So I
was frying the chicken and you know, like you're supposed
(11:12):
to fry chicken that is at roomtown temperature. Yes, I
did not do that, and so I was just like
battering that. I was like, oh, this is gonna be
so good. And I fried the chicken and I was like, oh,
it's done, took it out the oil and he bit
into it and it was raw no, yes, And I
(11:34):
like I almost started crying and I would have. I
was like, I cannot believe that just his friends were like,
this is raw chicken.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
There's probably nothing worse to bite into than raw, raw chicken.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
And it's so dangerous it is. Yeah, it's giving old salmonilla. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
To this day, I like I have my meat thermometer,
because I just remember the twenty year old Alex that
undercooked chicken.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
That undercooked chicken.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
And is he still around.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
No, he's married with kids now, yeah, God, because why
his wife fries chicken?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
He does. No, I'm joking, okay, but I will never
forget that day. No, I hear you. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I think we've all had those moments too. We had
flops in the kitchen as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I remember the time my mom made like hamburger helper.
She's like, it's something different, and we're like, just give
us the curry chicken.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
We never said we were tired of it. We never
said we were.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Tired of it.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
So you said twenty year old Alex at the time
was just kind of still getting her feet wet in
the cooking space.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
So where did this all start for you?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I know you said you started cooking at eleven, yes,
but at what point did you say.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I'm actually pretty good at this and I like it.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
So it was so I wanted to go to culinary
school outside of high school, and my mom, being a
Puerto Rican mother from Brooklyn, she was like absolutely fucking
not exactly because she let me cook when I was
younger every weekend, and she was like, I think you
really like cooking.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Like she just poured into me. And I don't think
she knew what she was doing.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Back then, but now, like my whole career is a
love letter to her. And so I was like, I
think I want to go to culinary school and she
was like no.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
So I went to Hampton. Best decision in my life.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
HBCU down like loving, but cooking kept following me, and
I was like, I think I really want to do this.
I majored in PR and marketing, and when I went
to New York, I kept going to culinary school open houses,
and every time I got to like the end when
they impressed you with like the school and everything, They're like, okay,
forty thousand dollars And I was like, I don't have
(13:39):
that again. I just paid for Hampton, Like I'm already
in student loan debt, but I sure do something like that.
That wasn't that promised to me?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
No, Like I come on before you go, yeah you go.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
So I was like my mom was like, Okay, if
this is what you really want to do, let's figure
it out. And so I was like, I don't want
to ask you for money you just paid for for school.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
So I was like, I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
So I just kept teaching myself Magazine's YouTube university all
of that, and because like I loved cooking so much,
I started my food blog in twenty seventeen, just as
like an outlet to be like, okay, like I just
want to put myself out there, okay. And then it
was actually like I knew I enjoyed cooking. I knew
I was good at it because I would always cook
for my friends. But I was at a cooking class
(14:24):
because I just wanted to take cooking class for fun,
and the.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Girl was like do you cook or something?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Because like she kept asking, like the instructor kept asking questions.
I would answer, and so one of the girls like
do you cook or something like like what is it?
And I was like no, I just like really enjoyed cooking.
So I went home to my boyfriend at the time
and I was like, I think I want to do
like a cooking class. And that was in twenty nineteen.
Even though you know that you have a god given talent,
(14:53):
but you're just like, I don't know, like a.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Lot of times we question it. Yeah, impostor syndrome.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
And pastor syndrome for sure, and the and in twenty
twenty is when I started my cooking class. And then
that's when everything took off for me. I really in
me and I started my food blog in twenty seventeen.
Imposter syrnderm stopped me a lot, and I was just like,
I don't know, like you know.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
So that's interesting. Twenty seventeen, fast forward to twenty twenty.
It's when you start your cooking class. Yeah, And this
is just twenty twenty four, and I feel like you've
made so many strides since then. But I guess that's
a testament to following what you feel in your heart
is your God given talent or passion. Yeah, because some
people think they could cook chat and they can't, right right,
(15:36):
Like they literally can't. Yeah no, and some people really
just can't just can't.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah. Oh, people don't enjoy it and I enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Are you fearful that being in a space like this
where you're cooking now as a profession, that you'll lose
that love for it?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Because I've heard that's a possibility for people like I.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Enjoy it so much because I was really shy when
I was younger, and so cooking for me was like
and people don't belie I was shy.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I was like, yes, I was actually very shy.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So cooking for me was just like an outlet that
like I could be myself. I can just cook because
like my first dish was vanilla lime fly and my
mom was like, why do you want to cook that?
I was like, I don't know. I just watched Emery Lagasi,
like I just want to cook this. And so I
think for me, it's such like a self care process
of cooking and seeing something from start to finish that
(16:23):
I don't want everyone to burn out from it. But
now it's what I do and I still enjoy it.
But that's why I have other hobbies.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And yeah, of course you gotta stay balanced.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Do you ever aspire to get into the space of
maybe having your own restaurant or being in a restaurant?
And the reason I asked was because I know it's
a known fact that the culinary industry, much like many
are male dominant.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Yeah, most of the white male dominant.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
And you being a black.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
And Latino woman, how do you see yourself in that
space or do you even see yourself in that space.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
So I oh my god, I just got chills.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I think because I'm finding like saying outlaw, like, do
want to own something very small? Okay, like a coffee shop, cafe?
Uh huh, like geared towards like my Puerto Rican side.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Okay, so living like sandwiches, babe, sandwich Like I can
see that for you.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, like something just very cozy and like, yeah, I've
really been thinking a lot about it, and I think
that's what I want to do. Uh huh, terrify.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I mean, I think we all are when it comes
to something new. Yeah, have you experienced though, any kind
of you know, issues within the culinary industry that you
feel like may impede that process just from like the
position of being like again, Afro Latina woman, I think
when it comes to funding, just because like I think
as black women in general or black people in general,
(17:52):
like the funding. When it comes to money, it's like,
we don't always get that chance. So I think what's
stopping me is fear being like, Okay, well what I
want to do it, but what's the next step?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
And that's money? So it's like what do I do?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And I feel like I don't come from a money family,
you know, and I don't want to ask my parents.
So it's like, what that next step of funding is
terrifying me?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Gotcha, how do you do that?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
No, I can totally understand, you know, and that being
probably a long term goal for you, Yeah, which is
of course me just shooting ahead because I can see
the potential in something like that. But in the meantime,
you're taking the necessary steps I think in the areas
that I feel like you have been thriving. So you
have your blog, you have of course, your your social
media persona yeah, and then you have spice spic.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Baby baby it's made.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
So tell me about that. How did that come to be?
Because that's essentially like a cooking show? Yeah, your own
cooking show, cooking show? What was that process?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Like? Who found you? And how did I go from
start to finish? So it was twenty twenty two. I've
always said I wanted a cooking show like that has
been my dream since I was younger. And you know,
manifest you pray, you write it down. But it's like,
I think people get bogged down and like doing the work,
you still just gotta you have.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
To do the work. There's just nowhere around it. There's
no way, there's no.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Way, and so I was like, I think I want
to move to long form. So I started a YouTube
series in twenty twenty top of twenty twenty two called
Hot Sauce at Home and it's just me cooking and
I cooked like some of my top recipes from the blog,
and someone from Taste Made saw that, and that's when
I think Oprah has a quote of like, just do
it for you. You never know who's watching. And so someone
(19:31):
from Taste Made DMed me and they're like, hey, we'd
love to set up a call. I was like fine, right,
like whatever, yeah, let's see where it goes. So they're like,
we love your personality, we love your cooking style, like
let's keep in contact. And so I'm thinking like, oh,
I'll do like a social media post for them whatever.
And that was probably like June twenty twenty two, and
(19:53):
I was like, oh, like I'm moving to LA.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
They're like, oh, that's great. Da da da da. September
I moved to.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
La twenty twenty two and I go to a Taste
Made event. I was like, Alex, just go you never know,
Like they're a streaming platform. You want a cooking show
one day, you never know. So I just went by
myself and I was like, hi, Dida da And so
the talent girl was like do you live here now?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And I was like I do and she was like huh.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
You know when you start to see people's wheels turning right,
And I was.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Like okay, and she was like okay.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I was like, I'm always pitching you, but I'm glad
I know that you live here. That was September twenty two,
twenty twenty two. March twenty twenty three. I get an
email that's it and granted I'm still on the internet cooking,
minding your own business literally literally, and so I get
an email that says show concept and I go, okay,
(20:46):
whatever whatever.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
So she like, let's go on the phone. So she
was like, I pitched you.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I think I have something. And I was like, again, okay,
no big thing, no big deal. She was like, I
got on the phone with like a development manager. She
was like, let's talk your cooking style, all these things. Again,
I'm like okay. So then my best friend's wedding in May,
it was sin good to my weekend and I got
the email that shit said like it's happening, and I
(21:14):
again and.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I was like, holy shit.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I was like, oh my god, a cooking show. And
then at first it was named something else and then
they said they sent it to me. They're like, it's
gonna be spice spice baby, wow, like my instagram and
just like my personality and so.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
And it made Yeah, totally makes sense now that I
think about a spice spies babe just at hot sauce.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
So it's funny. I forget who it was.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Recently had done a instagram like a little skit. It
was keV on stage and his wife Melissa, and it
was something where she made she made dinner and he
instantly went and grabbed the hot sauce send and like
threw it on the plane and she was so offended.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yeah, and is.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That a thing where people feel like if someone adds
hot sauce to my food, then it means that the
food is like bland or because I person still like
hot sauce on certain things. Same like Caribbean background. We
cooked with spices all the time. It's not Scotch bonnet pepper.
If it's not crushed pepper, it's want to be some
sort of hot sauce just because I like the added flavor. Yeah,
(22:11):
but do you think people take offence when you when
hot sauce.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Is added to don't? But I could see why, okay,
cause like and usually like my crab pasta, I will
red pepper flakes.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, that that would have been good too. We made
some We made some pasta just so you know, a
little little.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Would have been cute for a low cake low kick.
But I was like, let me just leave it out
this time. But I don't get offended. I like spice, okay,
but like I could see how people and certain things.
I don't need hot sauce on everything, right, And I
think people think they're like, like, no, I don't eat
everything spicy, you know, right, No, where'd the name come from?
Just that hot sauce.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
It's just such a catchy name when you use those
candles all the time on social media.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
But so it was my one of my best friend's birthday,
and my friends know I like spicy food.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
So my best friend Ash, she.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Was passing like a you know, gaysed to like the
bloody mary bars were like, the hot sauce is everywhere,
and then you can like make your own and she
like pastures like, oh my god, oh look at all
this hot sauce. And I was like, just got a
hot sauce. I was like, oh, that's kind of cute.
And I was like, I think I'm gonna name my
blog just at hot sauce. Oh what, I'm just like
that and just like that and it stuck. Yeah, and
(23:20):
now people will see me like, are you the hot
sauce girl?
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Nice? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
So it's been said that some of these viral.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Recipes have been known to cause love attractions and all
that good stuff. What would you say, are some of
the dishes that are at the top of folks you
know list.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Get get a Man dishes, Get a Man Dishes? Is
the crab spaghetti? I can attest to that crap spaghetti.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Alex got me even though I got a man chow.
She got me and my man with the crab spaghetti,
for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
The crab spaghet, the oxtail. And I'm not just saying
it because you're Jamaican, because I really do believe my
ox tail is very tasty, very tasty, Like has your
ox steel been co signed and approved by a real Yes,
I swear I promise, because that's because you know we'll
(24:20):
be honest with you. Yes, all right, So because I
don't want you to go out like that, maybe you
should make them the next time I come so I
can officially very value you would be invited to the
bash mint or the funeral, the repass.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Or one of my adventures that requires ox.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Ye. Okay, So we have oxtail, we have the crab,
and then we have a short rib pasta with like
a chimmy cherry salsa on top.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I love a short rib too, although now I'm allergic
to beef, but are you really? I am? So the
whole cowaway damn steak not supposed to ox steel technically
isale beef?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
It's the same way I I feel like bacon is
not poork. But whatever, I don't like, it's bacon. It's
its own entity. So what do you think it is
about cooking? Because you think about cooking.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Just like as a historical thing. It's like a family thing.
Is something that brings people together? Is that a part
of what drove you towards cooking? Do you enjoy the
camaraderie in it?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh my god, I just do it because you know,
this is just something you love, like thinking of the
history of cooking, Like what does that mean to you?
I mean for me, like my favorite I think my
favorite part about cooking is like the community. Once the
food is done and you're just sitting at a table, laughing, crying,
enjoying wine, people are like, can you pass the peas?
(25:39):
Can you do Like it's like you used to do
it right.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
It's just like.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
You're just like convenient communing over food. And that's what
I love about it so much because when my mom
would cook for us my favorite time because I thought
my brother was like a comedian at one point. I
was like, he's so funny. Like we would just sit
at the table and just like die laughing and just
eating over food. No I think.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I mean you think about it now when you're going
out with friends, Yeah, you know, going out on a date,
sitting down for dinner with my boys every night, Like
that's really the space where people dive into breaking down
the day. Yeah, like they say, breaking bread together literally
and talking and learning about things, and you know, it's
just a good way to kind of commune over.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Some good food.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
It so and I always say, like when someone's cooking,
like they're putting their time, energy and effort and money
into making someone feel good through food. And that is love,
Like that is like the purest form of love.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
No. Absolutely, every time you come home, someone's like, are
you hungry? You're right, you're right.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And it actually makes me think of my grandmother's Yeah,
like my mom from Jamaica, my dad from Saint Vincent,
so that's where their moms are from. And I think
about my grandmother, particularly my dad's mom. Anyone who came
through the house had something to eat. Yeah, and she
didn't have much. My grandmother actually couldn't read or write.
(27:01):
She was never sent to school as a kid. And
to see where I am now from where she's come from,
and just the love that went through her house and
where she was able to find food for people, just
to give them a hot meal. You know, she didn't
have money to give sometimes she couldn't even give good
(27:21):
conversations per se, but she was able to just show
her love cooking through food. And she and I bonded
a lot over that. And you think about the generations
of recipes and love and family that have been passed
down through cooking and through recipes.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
So for me, cooking is so much deeper.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Than just you know, like the eateries, yeah, or the
food kind of the community around it, which is so
beautiful to see. Yeah, And I would hope that once
you have your spot, because I'm already going to speak
this into existence, once you have your spot, that will
be a place of communing and getting together and loving
on each other and like kindred spirits coming together. I
could totally see something like.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
That for you.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
So from an entrepreneur's standpoint and looking at the culinary industry,
are there any particular challenges that you've had to face
so you kind of foresee as you press forward with
your goals.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I think there's like a taboo with if you went
to culinary school or not. And I think a taboo
because it's so just like, Yes, that's why I don't
really call myself a chef, because I do want to
honor people that have gone to culinary school. So is
that a technicality where some people wouldn't quite see you
(28:35):
as a chef because technically I didn't get the technical
background right, you have the formal training right, and so
I never want to offend anyone, but I usually like
I'm a cook. I cook, but I love to cook.
So there's a difference between chef and cook. You think, Yeah,
probably a little insecurity on my part just because I
didn't go to culinary school. I know how to cook
(28:57):
and I know that is my God given talent. But like, yeah,
so I think there's a fear in that of like,
am I going to be taken seriously?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Am I going to be received?
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
You know, but there's so many people, there's so many
chefs out there that didn't go to culinary school and
call them call themselves chefs. So it's like, I think
it's insecurity. And also just like I think stepping into
the next chapter of like I want you to taste
my food in my space, then it's like, okay, let's
(29:28):
do that.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I think that transcends over different industries though, because I
feel like social media makes it easier and more doable
for you to just create your content put it out there,
much to your story. Yeah, you're putting your content out
and you're doing what you love. Yeah, and someone's watching, right,
and you never know what comes from that. But that's
somebody in any industry, even just for me for example,
(29:49):
like Okay, maybe I didn't. I didn't go to school
for makeup artistry, but I became a makeup artist because
I had a talent.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
I was like, did you do your face yourself? I did. Oh,
I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
I was like, you are beat down, like your face
looks down to the ground. It looks great, thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
And I want to say I come from a makeup background.
I never went to school a cosmetology school. So when
I went to audition or not audition, but I guess
kind of like do my makeup interview Matt Cosmetics, I
felt intimidated because I'm like, okay, well I didn't go
to cosmetology school. They always ask those kind of questions. Yeah,
but I just know I had an act for it,
and it was fair that held me back for a
(30:28):
while from going in for that interview. I kind of
delayed it, but then it was just like fit, let
me just go.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
You know, I developed the talent and while there got
that on the job training. So I tend to learn
those technical ways of doing things. But that didn't take
away from the fact that I was a full blown
makeup artist, right. I didn't have the formal training. So
that's the way people I think are using social media
to their advantage now where it's like try the road
less travel. Yeah, sometimes the you know, the way everyone's
(30:55):
going is a little too crowded in that lane. Yeah,
you know, and culinary school maybe that me maybe that
your equivalent of that, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And it's not that way it necessary for everyone because
I always knew I didn't want to be a chef
in the kitchen. I always wanted to encourage people to
get in the kitchen and cook because of the way
I felt about cooking. So it's just like to build
community around food. So I was like, so when social
media came out, I.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Was like, oh, it's great.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, right, that's how that's how I could use my
cooking career, you know, of course, but it's like there's
still a knock for me of like, ooh, something's pulling
me to open up something.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I think that the big overarching theme with this conversation
today and even this episode is just really encouraging folks
in our listeners.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I love to have takeaways for them.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, and it's about following whatever that burning passion is inside.
You know. I had to do the same thing. You know,
when you told your mom that you want to go
to culinary school and she was just like what. I'm
sure she was probably like, oh, for something more guaranteed. Yeah,
And that was my story as well too. You know,
I was around everyone who was in the medical field,
so they're like, Kadeen, you know, nursing, become a doctor,
(32:00):
do all the things.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah. You know, as a kid, I was like, I'm
gonna be a pediatrician because I love kids.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And then I realized very quickly as it became a parent,
that you only love your kids really, and.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Sometimes it's hard to love other people's kids.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
But no, in all seriousness, it was one of those
things where I just had to go with my gut,
like I had to go with what I feel like
I was being called to do, and for me, that
was being a performer, being on stage, being an actress, yeah,
the host, being front of the camera.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
That was for me.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
And I was slowly able to find my way, even
though you know, we live in a capitalist country, so
you have to do things to sustain your day to
day life. But if you're able to work on whatever
that passion is simultaneously, even if it's just a little
bit at a time. Yeah, you never know when you're
gonna get that email that says it's to go, it's
a go.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
And I think I always think my parents because it's
like they never you know, I think, And you're a mom,
so I'm sure you know. But like I don't think
she knew what she was doing of letting me cook
every weekend. Am I like, I always thank her. She's like,
you really don't have to thank me. She's like, I
just knew you like to cook, right, But it's like
they owe they saw something and they were just like
(33:09):
run wild in the kitchen. If that's what you want
to do, like, just do it. So I think I
always like you poured into me so much when I
was younger that she was like, oh, I didn't even know,
Like I didn't even know. So it's like, yeah, it's
just that's a great that's a great point and a
great tidbit. I think for our listeners who have children, Yeah,
you never know what you might be sparking.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, child by just the exposure alone. And I recently
said this to my husband about our boys. You know,
let them try everything, right, let them see everything. We're
gonna you know, I have four boys, so the natural
inclination for people are like, you know, what sports do
they play? Or they just enjoy sports. But one of
my sons, he does coding. One is into art, you know,
(33:50):
So it's museums. Yeah, it's art shows. It's exposing them
to photography, it's you know, taking them to the coding class,
it's being captain of the debate team.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Like that.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
You just have to expose your children to because you
never know.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
What might stick or what might ignite that passion inside
of them.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
And now my parents now they're like, we would have
never thought us taking you to because my dad also
took me to a culinary school open house when I
was ten a ten ten was that random?
Speaker 3 (34:19):
No, because he knew I loved to cook.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
And my mom was like, because my parents were divorced,
so she was like, Alex really likes to cook. So
he set up a time for me to tour a
culinary school and some dope and so we went to
Vermont and I wish I could find this picture, but
it's me with like the apron with like the colinary school.
We have to dig that picture. I'm like, mom, you
need to find that picture. Yeah, but yeah, they like now,
(34:44):
I'm just like this, My whole career in food is
a love letter to my parents, just because that's what
they did for me.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
A love letter to my parents. A love letter to
my parents. That's cute. I could see that as like
the title of something like the puts that.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
In the back of our minds or in the front,
because we never know what the next opportunity is going
to be.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Wow, thank you so much for chatting about your cooking career,
you being a cook, a chef for some.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
The point is she makes some good ass food. Yeah,
I can attest to that. I've tried it. I was
your sous chef today. We had a really great time
in the kitchen together. So I want to take a
quick break and pay some bills. But if you don't
mind sticking around, every dead ass episode has to have
a listener letter. So I'm gonna read a story about
someone who wrote in and would like to hear our
(35:31):
two cents. Okay, there, situation, Lord, Sometimes it's a situation.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
You never know what to expect.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
We're gonna take a quick break and we will be
right back. All right.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Here's the listener letter we have for this episode.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Hey, Kadeen, I just turned thirty, got engaged, and have
proved my communication with my man. Has improved my communication
with my man thanks to the podcast You're Welcome.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
And graduating with my second degree with a bachelor's in
nursing a lot of the great changes, but it took
a while for me to get to this point. Four
years ago, I was dismissed academically from a PA program
and went through a season of depression and pulled away
from pretty much everyone. I felt that I had lost
myself because I made my academic achievements the scale that
(36:24):
measured my self worth.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Now, after a lot of prayer and soul searching, I'm
finally getting back to who I am and who I
can be. However, I've noticed that my circle is almost
non existent outside of my family. I feel like my
friendships have all suffered, and now I'm struggling to rebuild them.
With the wedding on the way, I truly want to
reconnect with ones I've pulled away from, but fear that
I no longer have a place in their lives, and
(36:48):
I'm at a loss on how to make new adult friendships.
I'm an introvert to I'm an extroverted introvert. Wow and
same same, literally literally, and it takes me a while
to work up to people and feel confident that I'm
being accepted for who I am. But no matter what,
I always aim to be genuine and supportive. Any advice
on reconnecting with old friends that may want to do
(37:10):
the same, or branching out to find new ones. Thank
you all for all you do. I wish you nothing
but prosperity for you and your family. Thank you so
much for that, and thank you for writing in today.
So sad for her, like, I'll be your friend for real, right,
anything come to mind for her?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I think you have to like put your guard down
and be vulnerable with your friend that you feel pulled
away from and just be like, listen, girl, I messed up,
Like this is why, just how she was very open
and vulnerable in the letter, Like do that. I feel
like when you really open your heart to people and
like and vulnerable and like this is it was my bad? Yeah,
(37:51):
and you hope people come around if they have an
open heart, you know.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
But yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
You mention that because that's the first thing that came
to mind when reading this was circling back with those
old friends may not be a bad thing as long
as you're being very transparent and honest about what you
were going through. Yet and vulnerable is also a great word.
I think a lot of times we try to keep
up a facade. Sometimes it just seemed like we have
it all together, and I think the common factors that
(38:20):
a lot of us don't like. Really, let's think about it.
When it comes to life, we're all just here trying
to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
We are just trying to survive.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
No one has the answers, no one has the recipe,
considering the episode has the recipe.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
There's no rules.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
But I do think, like you said, if you lead
with good intentions, and you lead with a good heart,
and you just circle back with those friends and just
say listen. It may at the time have been embarrassing
for her, but like I literally was dismissed academically.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
That put me in a rut. I was in severe depression.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
I didn't really know how to be there for other people,
because that tends to happen too. If you're not necessarily
in the best place in your own life, you may
not even know how to show up for other people.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
And depression is real and you get to a really
sunken place and I've had family members that have gone
through it, and it's just you have to if you
can find a way out. I'm sure that your friends
will be open to being like, okay, like you know.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
For sure, because something like something as big as a
wedding day, you know, finding the love of your life
really not being able to pick up the pieces of
your life and wanting to celebrate with those people I
think is something that is worth it, especially if they're
people who you think you want to and need to
have around. And if they don't come around, then they
weren't your real friends and.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
That's okay, and then that is okay.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Finding new friends as an adult, how does that work?
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I love making new friends.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
So you're not signed up for drakesoul no new friends situation,
you're down for a new friend.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
And when I since I moved here, I found a
really great like I have my best friend, like my
four core the best friends.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
But I like making new friends.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
It's actually like I think, when you're in a different
chapter in your life, you can experience a new person and.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
You're like so spot on. That's so spot on.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I've made some really good girlfriends in this chapter of
my life.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I feel like I have too, and they're people who
I'm no longer as close with or just maybe the
friendship has fizzled out for one reason or the other
because we may have outgrown each other, right, And that's
okay too. We may not be interested in the same things.
We may be in different phases of life. Yeah, where
I was in the thick of going through you know,
being a wife and a mom and having babies and
(40:36):
stuff like that. So of my single friends maybe weren't
as close at the time. So that's okay too. If
people are not necessarily in that phase. And it's a
special connection. I think when you have a friend or
a friend turned family who can really ride with you
through all phases of life, Yeah, that's given like soul
made friendship type things.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
And I and it's great because I have those.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
And I was telling you about my best friend who
just had a baby, and it's like, but and I'm single,
but it's like I still have to show up for
my friend who just had this baby, you know, And
it's like we've seen each other through bad breakup yeah,
and great relationships and marriages and now babies. So it's
like everyone's going through their own little joiney and chapters.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
But it's how we show up for each other within that.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
And there's a beauty in being able to do that
with someone, you know, to see the low lows and
to see the high highs and that way.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
I feel like it makes.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
The friendship that much richer and sweeter when you can
help each other through those moments. Because my core group,
like you said, you have your four people, like your
little square. Yeah, you know, I have my small little circle,
and a couple of them have been friends for over
two three decades and those are the people who've seen
everything from the ground up. But then I also have
some people who have met, like you said, in this
(41:46):
season of life, where I'm just like, I'm freaking.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
In love with you.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, because we're we're just the energies just they collapse you.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
I think I might have found a new friend in
La Alley. I know it's been like a love a
fear since we sat down together.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
So I like that for I love that now that
I've moved from LA, I'm finding more and more people
in la than I'm like, man, if I was still here,
this would have been my tribe of people.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Yeah, and I love that for us.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
So good luck to you sis all the best with
the wedding plans and with maybe rekindling those old friendships
and sparking some new ones. Just be yourself with those
new ones. Be yourself, be who you are, and organically
those people will come your way. So if you want
to be a listener letter right here on dead Ass
Podcast or A Day with K, you know, because we're
(42:32):
mixing it up a little bit for y'all, be sure
to write in to us at Deadass Advice at gmail
dot com. That's D E A d A S S
A d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
But that's all that, right, all right.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
So now that we round out this episode of A
Day with K, I always ask my guest, what's one
thing that you're dead ass about? You know what you
lived in New or you know what dead ass means.
What's one thing that you are ten toes down standing on?
Business abouts?
Speaker 3 (43:06):
Mmm? Therapy.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I like that I'm dead about therapy. Tell me why
when you pour into yourself and you want to do
the work to be a better version of yourself. There's
nothing like it.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
Listen, listen, okay, dead ass about therapy.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
I love that for you.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Year It's strong, good for you. That is awesome, and
we here we also support that too. Here are dead
Ass Podcast. We always will have a therapist on. We'll
encourage it. We have ads that run from companies that
are all about therapy and all about healing. I'm a
therapy girl, So you can show up as your best
self and I can tell just by the energy that
you exude. It's just amazing. I appreciate that. Oh my gosh,
(43:47):
one thing I'm dead ass about now, I'm dead ass
about twenty minute meals chow because let me tell you,
Alex gave me a recipe or two that I know
will answer the question what's for dinner for joys and
I can teach my Jackson and of course the younger one,
so you're always watching. I would love for them to
be self sufficient in the kitchen and cook for me
one day, you know what I'm saying? All right, all right,
y'all be sure to find us on Patreon to see
(44:09):
exclusive dead Ass Podcast content, and you can find us
on social media. Dead Ass the Podcast I'm Kadeene I am,
and don't forget about Deval.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
I am Deval and Alex. Tell them where they can
find all the things.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
It's giving, cooking show is giving, Instagram is giving blog
all of that.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
All of that.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
So you can find me on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Just add Hot Sauce, my cooking show Spice Spice Baby
on Taste made anywhere EA stream tv for free. And
my subsack Food and Feelings newsletter and live cooking classes
are coming back. Oh that's good. I love that.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
I love in person demos, cooking and of course eating, y'all,
And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, please do us
a favor. Go ahead and rate, review, and subscribe.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Dead Ass, y'all cut.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
is produced by Donor, Pinya and Trible. All of the
podcast on social media at dead Ass the podcast and
never miss a Thing
The most dreaded question to other every mother in America, Mom,
what's for dinner?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Half the time I don't even be knowing and not
neat ideas well, okay, have no fear, just had hot
sauces here.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I love that for me because she has all the
tips and tricks. Dead ass, y'all. Hey, I'm Kadeen and
I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
You may know us from posting funny videos with our
voice and reading.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Each other publicly as.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
A form of therpy. Wait, I'll make you need therby
most days. Wow.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred,
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
We thought to take Bilotov to a whole new level.
Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
All right, story time, So I'm going to take you
back to a few thanks given to go. I want
to say a few. It's probably like twelve at this point, right.
I've been with my husband for twenty two years, married fourteen,
and this is around like the twelve year Markkay had
(01:32):
been in his family for a long time, and you know,
food is the way to the man's heart, among other things.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
But food was definitely.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Up there for my husband.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And he's from a Southern American background, and there were
certain things that I just had to learn how to
make because his mom made it, or his aunt made it,
or his grandmother or grandfather, somebody made it in the
family and they made it to a.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Level of excellent.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
See that I had so much pressure around trying to
match that, right, So I kind of sat in the
wing for a couple of years. If they ever wanted
any Caribbean food, I'm your girl, right, sign me up.
If I wasn't making it, I'd have my mom or
dad or grandma somebody make it for them.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yeah, but there was an intimidation factor that I felt.
Southern food is very intimidating because it.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Is one of those things that you just have to
get right, Like you will get your black card revoked,
you will get uninvited to the barbecue. If these dishes
don't slap. So let me tell you about my moment now, Okay,
all was it a good or bad moment?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Well, let's see.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, Okay, So about twelve years ago, it's Thanksgiving time, right,
Devo's aunt Monique is always in charge of the sweet
potato castrole. Okay, that's the thing. So candied jams people
again make it different ways. She makes it into kind
of like a castrole soul situations.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Fine, yeah, okay, see, I make mine very good.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So she had told me over the years, and I've
kind of just always had it, and she would just
tell me, oh, you just you know, you just put
a little bit of this of that.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
There's never really like an actual recipe to it.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
And I said to her, I said, you need to
like develop some sort of recipe because.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
This is like restaurant worthy. Yeah, cast role, Like I
need to have this.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So one day she had me do a whole little
like lesson with her while she made some and then
I said to her, I'm going to try to.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Do this on my own.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
This one particular Thanksgiving, Aunt Monique was not in town, okay,
and I kind of threw my hat in the ring
as the menu was being assembled in the group chat
and I said, I'll do this sweet potato casserole Aunt
moniques monique supertado castroll right, And when she gave me
(03:55):
the lesson, I didn't write everything down, but I kind
of have like a general idea because that's typically how
we cook. We could vibes the ancestors are telling them,
you know what they're telling us what to do. It's
it's baking us another story like science. But I'm like,
I'm going to give it a try. So you can
imagine my pressure to live up to her sweet potato
cast terrified of course, and then knowing that it's Thanksgiving
(04:17):
at that because you know, the bite, Like the bite
is the sweet potato cast role, the the mag and cheese,
it's the situation, the sweet and savory, right, So you
don't want your portion of that bite to fall flat. Yeah,
So I make the sweet potato casserole, you know, diligent
in the kitchen. We get the kids dressed and we
(04:38):
head over to At that time, it's just Jackson head
over to Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I grew at my in law's house and everything is
set up. Apparently my father in law he didn't know
who was making what. He was like, I'm just here
for a good time. I'm here for my plate.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So I quietly sat around as everyone made their plates
and stuff like that. So he in particular is like
the connoisseur of like food tasting. He just won't tell you,
like down to a science, what's.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
In certain dishes.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
So I see him eating, and I see him go
for this week potata casserole, and he kind of like hmm,
you know, and then he's making your nerves or like yeah.
So I'm like, because my father, like my father in
law might disown me at this time. And I see
him going and he's like hmm. And then he looks
up and he says, did Monique make this before she left?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And I said no, I made it. He said, baby,
you made that.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I thought it was gonna be bad. Oh my god,
that he feels so good. Baby. I said, yes, I
made this.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
He said, you sure Monique didn't make this before she
left to go away to wherever she went.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I said no.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I said, well, it is pretty much her recipees. I
didn't write it down, but I kind of just went
off of the vibes. And he was like, well done,
well well done, young grasshopper.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I love that. O excite.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I love that because listen, that could have completely ruined Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, and I was able to live to see another day.
Thanksgivings A it's a very I would not. I took
on Thanksgiving a couple of years ago from my mom.
But it's an intimidating holiday. It really is in the
black household, especially Hispanic caribbee all like, it's holds no bars,
it told no literally, it's especially the mac and cheese.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, there's certain dishes that Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
So that was my cooking story about the time I
made sweet potato cash role for Thanksgiving from my in
laws and everybody enjoyed the end.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I thought it was gonna be bad because I have
a bad one. Also save that I haven't okay say
that one.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Save that one.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
When we come back to story time.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
All right, now, you know this would not be an
episode without karaoke time. So my guests today, Okay, what
are we feeling for karaoke?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Hey? This is my go to karaoke song.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Oh yeah, to have to carry let's do it touch
my body? Okay ahead, go ahead, start us off, Start us off,
Touch my body, throw me on the floor.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
He browny me some more.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You know how, sometimes you don't realize what the words
are until you actually break it.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Down during karaoke.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
During karaoke, Yeah, you dirty, dirty, Touch my body, Rustle
me to the floor, Wrestle me to the floor.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
No wait, touch my body, throw me on the floor,
wrestle me around.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Hey, play with me some more.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Hey, touch my body, my hair or something like that,
something like that.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, something everywhere? Yeah, whatnot.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Well, it's giving after a nice meal and a full belly,
touch my body, touch my body, baby, that's giving all
the vibes. But let's go ahead and pay some bills
real quick. Yes, and we will come back and we
will dive into the meat of the show with my
very special guest today. I'll introduce her when we get back.
(08:06):
Stay tuned, all right. Today, I have with me someone
who I've really been following for a while and not
only admire her in her profession, but something about your
personality and her energy is that you can feel it
through the phone. And I'm like, there has to be
(08:26):
synergies here that align. And once we came out here
to the West Side, for since LA episodes. She was
at the very top of my list, and I'm so
happy to introduce to you all today.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
If you have not found out about her yet, you've
been under a rock.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Alex sale is.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
A culinary genius, chef and host of the cooking show
Spice Spice Baby on Taste Made. Alex is passionate about
bringing people together through food. The dishes she shares on
her blog just add Hot Sauce are easy, yet innovative
and can be enjoyed by the aspiring show chef or
someone just getting their feet wet in the kitchen, or
(09:03):
a mom who is looking to answer the question what
for dinner?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
The intro, Wow, Welcome to the show, Alex.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
This so one thing we're about here on Dead as
Podcasts and particularly on a day with Kate, is giving
people their flowers while they're here to smell and to
hold and to enjoy. So thank you so much for
joining me here today, Thank you for thinking of me,
and I'm excited to be here. Absolutely, you made that
so easy. So I've been following this uh just at
Hot Sauce, you know, girl, for a minute now, and
(09:38):
not only do I drool every time you post a
video with food, just watching your Instagram stories, even just
the way you interact with your friends, like you can
tell a lot about someone and you can see that
you're genuinely loved by the people who support you, by
your friends, by your family. And I really believe that
the energy that you put out is the energy you're
going to get back. So you're like a walking testimony
(09:58):
of that.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Very I love that.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, I love that. Thank you very much, and I
appreciate it. You're so welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
So go back to Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Now, you said you had a bad story, because mine
was one of those things where baby, you could have
put a sash and a crown on my head.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
So mine wasn't Thanksgiving, okay, but because it was a
black Southern household, it was in college. Ooh, and it
reminded me of my fried chicken story because to this
day I hate frying chicken because of that time.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Oh no, So I had a boyfriend at the time.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I was like I think twenty or something like that,
and I was still cooking, but obviously like I'm in college,
like I'm not like perfecting like what I love right right,
And I was like, ooh, I'm going to make like
a soulful Sunday's like meal.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
This was before hashtags, right before before hashtags.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
And I was like, invite your friends. So it was
him and his two best friends, okay, and then my
best friends. I was like, I'm going to make fried chicken.
I'm gonna do like sweet potatoes because my mom gave
me a sweet potato cashle that I've been using for years,
mac and cheese. She gave me her recipe. So I
was frying the chicken and you know, like you're supposed
(11:12):
to fry chicken that is at roomtown temperature. Yes, I
did not do that, and so I was just like
battering that. I was like, oh, this is gonna be
so good. And I fried the chicken and I was like, oh,
it's done, took it out the oil and he bit
into it and it was raw no, yes, And I
(11:34):
like I almost started crying and I would have. I
was like, I cannot believe that just his friends were like,
this is raw chicken.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
There's probably nothing worse to bite into than raw, raw chicken.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
And it's so dangerous it is. Yeah, it's giving old salmonilla. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
To this day, I like I have my meat thermometer,
because I just remember the twenty year old Alex that
undercooked chicken.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
That undercooked chicken.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
And is he still around.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
No, he's married with kids now, yeah, God, because why
his wife fries chicken?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
He does. No, I'm joking, okay, but I will never
forget that day. No, I hear you. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I think we've all had those moments too. We had
flops in the kitchen as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I remember the time my mom made like hamburger helper.
She's like, it's something different, and we're like, just give
us the curry chicken.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
We never said we were tired of it. We never
said we were.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Tired of it.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
So you said twenty year old Alex at the time
was just kind of still getting her feet wet in
the cooking space.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
So where did this all start for you?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I know you said you started cooking at eleven, yes,
but at what point did you say.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I'm actually pretty good at this and I like it.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
So it was so I wanted to go to culinary
school outside of high school, and my mom, being a
Puerto Rican mother from Brooklyn, she was like absolutely fucking
not exactly because she let me cook when I was
younger every weekend, and she was like, I think you
really like cooking.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Like she just poured into me. And I don't think
she knew what she was doing.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Back then, but now, like my whole career is a
love letter to her. And so I was like, I
think I want to go to culinary school and she
was like no.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
So I went to Hampton. Best decision in my life.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
HBCU down like loving, but cooking kept following me, and
I was like, I think I really want to do this.
I majored in PR and marketing, and when I went
to New York, I kept going to culinary school open houses,
and every time I got to like the end when
they impressed you with like the school and everything, They're like, okay,
forty thousand dollars And I was like, I don't have
(13:39):
that again. I just paid for Hampton, Like I'm already
in student loan debt, but I sure do something like that.
That wasn't that promised to me?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
No, Like I come on before you go, yeah you go.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
So I was like my mom was like, Okay, if
this is what you really want to do, let's figure
it out. And so I was like, I don't want
to ask you for money you just paid for for school.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
So I was like, I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
So I just kept teaching myself Magazine's YouTube university all
of that, and because like I loved cooking so much,
I started my food blog in twenty seventeen, just as
like an outlet to be like, okay, like I just
want to put myself out there, okay. And then it
was actually like I knew I enjoyed cooking. I knew
I was good at it because I would always cook
for my friends. But I was at a cooking class
(14:24):
because I just wanted to take cooking class for fun,
and the.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Girl was like do you cook or something?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Because like she kept asking, like the instructor kept asking questions.
I would answer, and so one of the girls like
do you cook or something like like what is it?
And I was like no, I just like really enjoyed cooking.
So I went home to my boyfriend at the time
and I was like, I think I want to do
like a cooking class. And that was in twenty nineteen.
Even though you know that you have a god given talent,
(14:53):
but you're just like, I don't know, like a.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Lot of times we question it. Yeah, impostor syndrome.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
And pastor syndrome for sure, and the and in twenty
twenty is when I started my cooking class. And then
that's when everything took off for me. I really in
me and I started my food blog in twenty seventeen.
Imposter syrnderm stopped me a lot, and I was just like,
I don't know, like you know.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
So that's interesting. Twenty seventeen, fast forward to twenty twenty.
It's when you start your cooking class. Yeah, And this
is just twenty twenty four, and I feel like you've
made so many strides since then. But I guess that's
a testament to following what you feel in your heart
is your God given talent or passion. Yeah, because some
people think they could cook chat and they can't, right right,
(15:36):
Like they literally can't. Yeah no, and some people really
just can't just can't.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah. Oh, people don't enjoy it and I enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Are you fearful that being in a space like this
where you're cooking now as a profession, that you'll lose
that love for it?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Because I've heard that's a possibility for people like I.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Enjoy it so much because I was really shy when
I was younger, and so cooking for me was like
and people don't belie I was shy.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I was like, yes, I was actually very shy.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So cooking for me was just like an outlet that
like I could be myself. I can just cook because
like my first dish was vanilla lime fly and my
mom was like, why do you want to cook that?
I was like, I don't know. I just watched Emery Lagasi,
like I just want to cook this. And so I
think for me, it's such like a self care process
of cooking and seeing something from start to finish that
(16:23):
I don't want everyone to burn out from it. But
now it's what I do and I still enjoy it.
But that's why I have other hobbies.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And yeah, of course you gotta stay balanced.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Do you ever aspire to get into the space of
maybe having your own restaurant or being in a restaurant?
And the reason I asked was because I know it's
a known fact that the culinary industry, much like many
are male dominant.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Yeah, most of the white male dominant.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
And you being a black.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
And Latino woman, how do you see yourself in that
space or do you even see yourself in that space.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
So I oh my god, I just got chills.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I think because I'm finding like saying outlaw, like, do
want to own something very small? Okay, like a coffee shop, cafe?
Uh huh, like geared towards like my Puerto Rican side.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Okay, so living like sandwiches, babe, sandwich Like I can
see that for you.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, like something just very cozy and like, yeah, I've
really been thinking a lot about it, and I think
that's what I want to do. Uh huh, terrify.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I mean, I think we all are when it comes
to something new. Yeah, have you experienced though, any kind
of you know, issues within the culinary industry that you
feel like may impede that process just from like the
position of being like again, Afro Latina woman, I think
when it comes to funding, just because like I think
as black women in general or black people in general,
(17:52):
like the funding. When it comes to money, it's like,
we don't always get that chance. So I think what's
stopping me is fear being like, Okay, well what I
want to do it, but what's the next step?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
And that's money? So it's like what do I do?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And I feel like I don't come from a money family,
you know, and I don't want to ask my parents.
So it's like, what that next step of funding is
terrifying me?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Gotcha, how do you do that?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
No, I can totally understand, you know, and that being
probably a long term goal for you, Yeah, which is
of course me just shooting ahead because I can see
the potential in something like that. But in the meantime,
you're taking the necessary steps I think in the areas
that I feel like you have been thriving. So you
have your blog, you have of course, your your social
media persona yeah, and then you have spice spic.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Baby baby it's made.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
So tell me about that. How did that come to be?
Because that's essentially like a cooking show? Yeah, your own
cooking show, cooking show? What was that process?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Like? Who found you? And how did I go from
start to finish? So it was twenty twenty two. I've
always said I wanted a cooking show like that has
been my dream since I was younger. And you know,
manifest you pray, you write it down. But it's like,
I think people get bogged down and like doing the work,
you still just gotta you have.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
To do the work. There's just nowhere around it. There's
no way, there's no.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Way, and so I was like, I think I want
to move to long form. So I started a YouTube
series in twenty twenty top of twenty twenty two called
Hot Sauce at Home and it's just me cooking and
I cooked like some of my top recipes from the blog,
and someone from Taste Made saw that, and that's when
I think Oprah has a quote of like, just do
it for you. You never know who's watching. And so someone
(19:31):
from Taste Made DMed me and they're like, hey, we'd
love to set up a call. I was like fine, right,
like whatever, yeah, let's see where it goes. So they're like,
we love your personality, we love your cooking style, like
let's keep in contact. And so I'm thinking like, oh,
I'll do like a social media post for them whatever.
And that was probably like June twenty twenty two, and
(19:53):
I was like, oh, like I'm moving to LA.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
They're like, oh, that's great. Da da da da. September
I moved to.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
La twenty twenty two and I go to a Taste
Made event. I was like, Alex, just go you never know,
Like they're a streaming platform. You want a cooking show
one day, you never know. So I just went by
myself and I was like, hi, Dida da And so
the talent girl was like do you live here now?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And I was like I do and she was like huh.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
You know when you start to see people's wheels turning right,
And I was.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Like okay, and she was like okay.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I was like, I'm always pitching you, but I'm glad
I know that you live here. That was September twenty two,
twenty twenty two. March twenty twenty three. I get an
email that's it and granted I'm still on the internet cooking,
minding your own business literally literally, and so I get
an email that says show concept and I go, okay,
(20:46):
whatever whatever.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
So she like, let's go on the phone. So she
was like, I pitched you.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I think I have something. And I was like, again, okay,
no big thing, no big deal. She was like, I
got on the phone with like a development manager. She
was like, let's talk your cooking style, all these things. Again,
I'm like okay. So then my best friend's wedding in May,
it was sin good to my weekend and I got
the email that shit said like it's happening, and I
(21:14):
again and.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I was like, holy shit.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I was like, oh my god, a cooking show. And
then at first it was named something else and then
they said they sent it to me. They're like, it's
gonna be spice spice baby, wow, like my instagram and
just like my personality and so.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
And it made Yeah, totally makes sense now that I
think about a spice spies babe just at hot sauce.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
So it's funny. I forget who it was.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Recently had done a instagram like a little skit. It
was keV on stage and his wife Melissa, and it
was something where she made she made dinner and he
instantly went and grabbed the hot sauce send and like
threw it on the plane and she was so offended.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yeah, and is.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That a thing where people feel like if someone adds
hot sauce to my food, then it means that the
food is like bland or because I person still like
hot sauce on certain things. Same like Caribbean background. We
cooked with spices all the time. It's not Scotch bonnet pepper.
If it's not crushed pepper, it's want to be some
sort of hot sauce just because I like the added flavor. Yeah,
(22:11):
but do you think people take offence when you when
hot sauce.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Is added to don't? But I could see why, okay,
cause like and usually like my crab pasta, I will
red pepper flakes.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, that that would have been good too. We made
some We made some pasta just so you know, a
little little.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Would have been cute for a low cake low kick.
But I was like, let me just leave it out
this time. But I don't get offended. I like spice, okay,
but like I could see how people and certain things.
I don't need hot sauce on everything, right, And I
think people think they're like, like, no, I don't eat
everything spicy, you know, right, No, where'd the name come from?
Just that hot sauce.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
It's just such a catchy name when you use those
candles all the time on social media.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
But so it was my one of my best friend's birthday,
and my friends know I like spicy food.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
So my best friend Ash, she.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Was passing like a you know, gaysed to like the
bloody mary bars were like, the hot sauce is everywhere,
and then you can like make your own and she
like pastures like, oh my god, oh look at all
this hot sauce. And I was like, just got a
hot sauce. I was like, oh, that's kind of cute.
And I was like, I think I'm gonna name my
blog just at hot sauce. Oh what, I'm just like
that and just like that and it stuck. Yeah, and
(23:20):
now people will see me like, are you the hot
sauce girl?
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Nice? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
So it's been said that some of these viral.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Recipes have been known to cause love attractions and all
that good stuff. What would you say, are some of
the dishes that are at the top of folks you
know list.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Get get a Man dishes, Get a Man Dishes? Is
the crab spaghetti? I can attest to that crap spaghetti.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Alex got me even though I got a man chow.
She got me and my man with the crab spaghetti,
for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
The crab spaghet, the oxtail. And I'm not just saying
it because you're Jamaican, because I really do believe my
ox tail is very tasty, very tasty, Like has your
ox steel been co signed and approved by a real Yes,
I swear I promise, because that's because you know we'll
(24:20):
be honest with you. Yes, all right, So because I
don't want you to go out like that, maybe you
should make them the next time I come so I
can officially very value you would be invited to the
bash mint or the funeral, the repass.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Or one of my adventures that requires ox.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Ye. Okay, So we have oxtail, we have the crab,
and then we have a short rib pasta with like
a chimmy cherry salsa on top.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I love a short rib too, although now I'm allergic
to beef, but are you really? I am? So the
whole cowaway damn steak not supposed to ox steel technically
isale beef?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
It's the same way I I feel like bacon is
not poork. But whatever, I don't like, it's bacon. It's
its own entity. So what do you think it is
about cooking? Because you think about cooking.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Just like as a historical thing. It's like a family thing.
Is something that brings people together? Is that a part
of what drove you towards cooking? Do you enjoy the
camaraderie in it?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh my god, I just do it because you know,
this is just something you love, like thinking of the
history of cooking, Like what does that mean to you?
I mean for me, like my favorite I think my
favorite part about cooking is like the community. Once the
food is done and you're just sitting at a table, laughing, crying,
enjoying wine, people are like, can you pass the peas?
(25:39):
Can you do Like it's like you used to do
it right.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
It's just like.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
You're just like convenient communing over food. And that's what
I love about it so much because when my mom
would cook for us my favorite time because I thought
my brother was like a comedian at one point. I
was like, he's so funny. Like we would just sit
at the table and just like die laughing and just
eating over food. No I think.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I mean you think about it now when you're going
out with friends, Yeah, you know, going out on a date,
sitting down for dinner with my boys every night, Like
that's really the space where people dive into breaking down
the day. Yeah, like they say, breaking bread together literally
and talking and learning about things, and you know, it's
just a good way to kind of commune over.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Some good food.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
It so and I always say, like when someone's cooking,
like they're putting their time, energy and effort and money
into making someone feel good through food. And that is love,
Like that is like the purest form of love.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
No. Absolutely, every time you come home, someone's like, are
you hungry? You're right, you're right.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And it actually makes me think of my grandmother's Yeah,
like my mom from Jamaica, my dad from Saint Vincent,
so that's where their moms are from. And I think
about my grandmother, particularly my dad's mom. Anyone who came
through the house had something to eat. Yeah, and she
didn't have much. My grandmother actually couldn't read or write.
(27:01):
She was never sent to school as a kid. And
to see where I am now from where she's come from,
and just the love that went through her house and
where she was able to find food for people, just
to give them a hot meal. You know, she didn't
have money to give sometimes she couldn't even give good
(27:21):
conversations per se, but she was able to just show
her love cooking through food. And she and I bonded
a lot over that. And you think about the generations
of recipes and love and family that have been passed
down through cooking and through recipes.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
So for me, cooking is so much deeper.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Than just you know, like the eateries, yeah, or the
food kind of the community around it, which is so
beautiful to see. Yeah, And I would hope that once
you have your spot, because I'm already going to speak
this into existence, once you have your spot, that will
be a place of communing and getting together and loving
on each other and like kindred spirits coming together. I
could totally see something like.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
That for you.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
So from an entrepreneur's standpoint and looking at the culinary industry,
are there any particular challenges that you've had to face
so you kind of foresee as you press forward with
your goals.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I think there's like a taboo with if you went
to culinary school or not. And I think a taboo
because it's so just like, Yes, that's why I don't
really call myself a chef, because I do want to
honor people that have gone to culinary school. So is
that a technicality where some people wouldn't quite see you
(28:35):
as a chef because technically I didn't get the technical
background right, you have the formal training right, and so
I never want to offend anyone, but I usually like
I'm a cook. I cook, but I love to cook.
So there's a difference between chef and cook. You think, Yeah,
probably a little insecurity on my part just because I
didn't go to culinary school. I know how to cook
(28:57):
and I know that is my God given talent. But like, yeah,
so I think there's a fear in that of like,
am I going to be taken seriously?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Am I going to be received?
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
You know, but there's so many people, there's so many
chefs out there that didn't go to culinary school and
call them call themselves chefs. So it's like, I think
it's insecurity. And also just like I think stepping into
the next chapter of like I want you to taste
my food in my space, then it's like, okay, let's
(29:28):
do that.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I think that transcends over different industries though, because I
feel like social media makes it easier and more doable
for you to just create your content put it out there,
much to your story. Yeah, you're putting your content out
and you're doing what you love. Yeah, and someone's watching, right,
and you never know what comes from that. But that's
somebody in any industry, even just for me for example,
(29:49):
like Okay, maybe I didn't. I didn't go to school
for makeup artistry, but I became a makeup artist because
I had a talent.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
I was like, did you do your face yourself? I did. Oh,
I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
I was like, you are beat down, like your face
looks down to the ground. It looks great, thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
And I want to say I come from a makeup background.
I never went to school a cosmetology school. So when
I went to audition or not audition, but I guess
kind of like do my makeup interview Matt Cosmetics, I
felt intimidated because I'm like, okay, well I didn't go
to cosmetology school. They always ask those kind of questions. Yeah,
but I just know I had an act for it,
and it was fair that held me back for a
(30:28):
while from going in for that interview. I kind of
delayed it, but then it was just like fit, let
me just go.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
You know, I developed the talent and while there got
that on the job training. So I tend to learn
those technical ways of doing things. But that didn't take
away from the fact that I was a full blown
makeup artist, right. I didn't have the formal training. So
that's the way people I think are using social media
to their advantage now where it's like try the road
less travel. Yeah, sometimes the you know, the way everyone's
(30:55):
going is a little too crowded in that lane. Yeah,
you know, and culinary school maybe that me maybe that
your equivalent of that, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And it's not that way it necessary for everyone because
I always knew I didn't want to be a chef
in the kitchen. I always wanted to encourage people to
get in the kitchen and cook because of the way
I felt about cooking. So it's just like to build
community around food. So I was like, so when social
media came out, I.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Was like, oh, it's great.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, right, that's how that's how I could use my
cooking career, you know, of course, but it's like there's
still a knock for me of like, ooh, something's pulling
me to open up something.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I think that the big overarching theme with this conversation
today and even this episode is just really encouraging folks
in our listeners.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I love to have takeaways for them.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, and it's about following whatever that burning passion is inside.
You know. I had to do the same thing. You know,
when you told your mom that you want to go
to culinary school and she was just like what. I'm
sure she was probably like, oh, for something more guaranteed. Yeah,
And that was my story as well too. You know,
I was around everyone who was in the medical field,
so they're like, Kadeen, you know, nursing, become a doctor,
(32:00):
do all the things.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah. You know, as a kid, I was like, I'm
gonna be a pediatrician because I love kids.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And then I realized very quickly as it became a parent,
that you only love your kids really, and.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Sometimes it's hard to love other people's kids.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
But no, in all seriousness, it was one of those
things where I just had to go with my gut,
like I had to go with what I feel like
I was being called to do, and for me, that
was being a performer, being on stage, being an actress, yeah,
the host, being front of the camera.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
That was for me.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
And I was slowly able to find my way, even
though you know, we live in a capitalist country, so
you have to do things to sustain your day to
day life. But if you're able to work on whatever
that passion is simultaneously, even if it's just a little
bit at a time. Yeah, you never know when you're
gonna get that email that says it's to go, it's
a go.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
And I think I always think my parents because it's
like they never you know, I think, And you're a mom,
so I'm sure you know. But like I don't think
she knew what she was doing of letting me cook
every weekend. Am I like, I always thank her. She's like,
you really don't have to thank me. She's like, I
just knew you like to cook, right, But it's like
they owe they saw something and they were just like
(33:09):
run wild in the kitchen. If that's what you want
to do, like, just do it. So I think I
always like you poured into me so much when I
was younger that she was like, oh, I didn't even know,
Like I didn't even know. So it's like, yeah, it's
just that's a great that's a great point and a
great tidbit. I think for our listeners who have children, Yeah,
you never know what you might be sparking.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, child by just the exposure alone. And I recently
said this to my husband about our boys. You know,
let them try everything, right, let them see everything. We're
gonna you know, I have four boys, so the natural
inclination for people are like, you know, what sports do
they play? Or they just enjoy sports. But one of
my sons, he does coding. One is into art, you know,
(33:50):
So it's museums. Yeah, it's art shows. It's exposing them
to photography, it's you know, taking them to the coding class,
it's being captain of the debate team.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Like that.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
You just have to expose your children to because you
never know.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
What might stick or what might ignite that passion inside
of them.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
And now my parents now they're like, we would have
never thought us taking you to because my dad also
took me to a culinary school open house when I
was ten a ten ten was that random?
Speaker 3 (34:19):
No, because he knew I loved to cook.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
And my mom was like, because my parents were divorced,
so she was like, Alex really likes to cook. So
he set up a time for me to tour a
culinary school and some dope and so we went to
Vermont and I wish I could find this picture, but
it's me with like the apron with like the colinary school.
We have to dig that picture. I'm like, mom, you
need to find that picture. Yeah, but yeah, they like now,
(34:44):
I'm just like this, My whole career in food is
a love letter to my parents, just because that's what
they did for me.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
A love letter to my parents. A love letter to
my parents. That's cute. I could see that as like
the title of something like the puts that.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
In the back of our minds or in the front,
because we never know what the next opportunity is going
to be.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Wow, thank you so much for chatting about your cooking career,
you being a cook, a chef for some.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
The point is she makes some good ass food. Yeah,
I can attest to that. I've tried it. I was
your sous chef today. We had a really great time
in the kitchen together. So I want to take a
quick break and pay some bills. But if you don't
mind sticking around, every dead ass episode has to have
a listener letter. So I'm gonna read a story about
someone who wrote in and would like to hear our
(35:31):
two cents. Okay, there, situation, Lord, Sometimes it's a situation.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
You never know what to expect.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
We're gonna take a quick break and we will be
right back. All right.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Here's the listener letter we have for this episode.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Hey, Kadeen, I just turned thirty, got engaged, and have
proved my communication with my man. Has improved my communication
with my man thanks to the podcast You're Welcome.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
And graduating with my second degree with a bachelor's in
nursing a lot of the great changes, but it took
a while for me to get to this point. Four
years ago, I was dismissed academically from a PA program
and went through a season of depression and pulled away
from pretty much everyone. I felt that I had lost
myself because I made my academic achievements the scale that
(36:24):
measured my self worth.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Now, after a lot of prayer and soul searching, I'm
finally getting back to who I am and who I
can be. However, I've noticed that my circle is almost
non existent outside of my family. I feel like my
friendships have all suffered, and now I'm struggling to rebuild them.
With the wedding on the way, I truly want to
reconnect with ones I've pulled away from, but fear that
I no longer have a place in their lives, and
(36:48):
I'm at a loss on how to make new adult friendships.
I'm an introvert to I'm an extroverted introvert. Wow and
same same, literally literally, and it takes me a while
to work up to people and feel confident that I'm
being accepted for who I am. But no matter what,
I always aim to be genuine and supportive. Any advice
on reconnecting with old friends that may want to do
(37:10):
the same, or branching out to find new ones. Thank
you all for all you do. I wish you nothing
but prosperity for you and your family. Thank you so
much for that, and thank you for writing in today.
So sad for her, like, I'll be your friend for real, right,
anything come to mind for her?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I think you have to like put your guard down
and be vulnerable with your friend that you feel pulled
away from and just be like, listen, girl, I messed up,
Like this is why, just how she was very open
and vulnerable in the letter, Like do that. I feel
like when you really open your heart to people and
like and vulnerable and like this is it was my bad? Yeah,
(37:51):
and you hope people come around if they have an
open heart, you know.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
But yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
You mention that because that's the first thing that came
to mind when reading this was circling back with those
old friends may not be a bad thing as long
as you're being very transparent and honest about what you
were going through. Yet and vulnerable is also a great word.
I think a lot of times we try to keep
up a facade. Sometimes it just seemed like we have
it all together, and I think the common factors that
(38:20):
a lot of us don't like. Really, let's think about it.
When it comes to life, we're all just here trying
to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
We are just trying to survive.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
No one has the answers, no one has the recipe,
considering the episode has the recipe.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
There's no rules.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
But I do think, like you said, if you lead
with good intentions, and you lead with a good heart,
and you just circle back with those friends and just
say listen. It may at the time have been embarrassing
for her, but like I literally was dismissed academically.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
That put me in a rut. I was in severe depression.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
I didn't really know how to be there for other people,
because that tends to happen too. If you're not necessarily
in the best place in your own life, you may
not even know how to show up for other people.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
And depression is real and you get to a really
sunken place and I've had family members that have gone
through it, and it's just you have to if you
can find a way out. I'm sure that your friends
will be open to being like, okay, like you know.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
For sure, because something like something as big as a
wedding day, you know, finding the love of your life
really not being able to pick up the pieces of
your life and wanting to celebrate with those people I
think is something that is worth it, especially if they're
people who you think you want to and need to
have around. And if they don't come around, then they
weren't your real friends and.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
That's okay, and then that is okay.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Finding new friends as an adult, how does that work?
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I love making new friends.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
So you're not signed up for drakesoul no new friends situation,
you're down for a new friend.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
And when I since I moved here, I found a
really great like I have my best friend, like my
four core the best friends.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
But I like making new friends.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
It's actually like I think, when you're in a different
chapter in your life, you can experience a new person and.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
You're like so spot on. That's so spot on.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I've made some really good girlfriends in this chapter of
my life.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I feel like I have too, and they're people who
I'm no longer as close with or just maybe the
friendship has fizzled out for one reason or the other
because we may have outgrown each other, right, And that's
okay too. We may not be interested in the same things.
We may be in different phases of life. Yeah, where
I was in the thick of going through you know,
being a wife and a mom and having babies and
(40:36):
stuff like that. So of my single friends maybe weren't
as close at the time. So that's okay too. If
people are not necessarily in that phase. And it's a
special connection. I think when you have a friend or
a friend turned family who can really ride with you
through all phases of life, Yeah, that's given like soul
made friendship type things.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
And I and it's great because I have those.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
And I was telling you about my best friend who
just had a baby, and it's like, but and I'm single,
but it's like I still have to show up for
my friend who just had this baby, you know, And
it's like we've seen each other through bad breakup yeah,
and great relationships and marriages and now babies. So it's
like everyone's going through their own little joiney and chapters.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
But it's how we show up for each other within that.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
And there's a beauty in being able to do that
with someone, you know, to see the low lows and
to see the high highs and that way.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
I feel like it makes.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
The friendship that much richer and sweeter when you can
help each other through those moments. Because my core group,
like you said, you have your four people, like your
little square. Yeah, you know, I have my small little circle,
and a couple of them have been friends for over
two three decades and those are the people who've seen
everything from the ground up. But then I also have
some people who have met, like you said, in this
(41:46):
season of life, where I'm just like, I'm freaking.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
In love with you.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, because we're we're just the energies just they collapse you.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
I think I might have found a new friend in
La Alley. I know it's been like a love a
fear since we sat down together.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
So I like that for I love that now that
I've moved from LA, I'm finding more and more people
in la than I'm like, man, if I was still here,
this would have been my tribe of people.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Yeah, and I love that for us.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
So good luck to you sis all the best with
the wedding plans and with maybe rekindling those old friendships
and sparking some new ones. Just be yourself with those
new ones. Be yourself, be who you are, and organically
those people will come your way. So if you want
to be a listener letter right here on dead Ass
Podcast or A Day with K, you know, because we're
(42:32):
mixing it up a little bit for y'all, be sure
to write in to us at Deadass Advice at gmail
dot com. That's D E A d A S S
A d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
But that's all that, right, all right.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
So now that we round out this episode of A
Day with K, I always ask my guest, what's one
thing that you're dead ass about? You know what you
lived in New or you know what dead ass means.
What's one thing that you are ten toes down standing on?
Business abouts?
Speaker 3 (43:06):
Mmm? Therapy.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I like that I'm dead about therapy. Tell me why
when you pour into yourself and you want to do
the work to be a better version of yourself. There's
nothing like it.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
Listen, listen, okay, dead ass about therapy.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
I love that for you.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Year It's strong, good for you. That is awesome, and
we here we also support that too. Here are dead
Ass Podcast. We always will have a therapist on. We'll
encourage it. We have ads that run from companies that
are all about therapy and all about healing. I'm a
therapy girl, So you can show up as your best
self and I can tell just by the energy that
you exude. It's just amazing. I appreciate that. Oh my gosh,
(43:47):
one thing I'm dead ass about now, I'm dead ass
about twenty minute meals chow because let me tell you,
Alex gave me a recipe or two that I know
will answer the question what's for dinner for joys and
I can teach my Jackson and of course the younger one,
so you're always watching. I would love for them to
be self sufficient in the kitchen and cook for me
one day, you know what I'm saying? All right, all right,
y'all be sure to find us on Patreon to see
(44:09):
exclusive dead Ass Podcast content, and you can find us
on social media. Dead Ass the Podcast I'm Kadeene I am,
and don't forget about Deval.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
I am Deval and Alex. Tell them where they can
find all the things.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
It's giving, cooking show is giving, Instagram is giving blog
all of that.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
All of that.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
So you can find me on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Just add Hot Sauce, my cooking show Spice Spice Baby
on Taste made anywhere EA stream tv for free. And
my subsack Food and Feelings newsletter and live cooking classes
are coming back. Oh that's good. I love that.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
I love in person demos, cooking and of course eating, y'all,
And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, please do us
a favor. Go ahead and rate, review, and subscribe.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Dead Ass, y'all cut.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
is produced by Donor, Pinya and Trible. All of the
podcast on social media at dead Ass the podcast and
never miss a Thing
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Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!