Live in Atlanta with Regina Hall and Sterling K Brown

Khadeen and Devale are LIVE at The Buckhead Theatre in Atlanta, GA. The Ellises shared a night of love and laughter in ATL. Surprise guests Regina Hall and Sterling K. Brown stopped by to talk about their new movie Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul. And the star of the new Sistas spinoff, Zatima, Crystal Renee Hayslett came through and blessed the stage with her soulful voice. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the ellis Is. You may
know us from posting funny videos with our boys and
reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,
I'll make you need derby most days. Wow. And one
more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We
created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's

(00:32):
most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk
about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead
adds is the term that we say every day. So
when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about
to take phillows off to a whole new level. Dead

(00:52):
ass starts right now. What's up? Yes, yes, yes, look
at all these are beautiful faces out here. Look good.
Y'all look really really good. Y'all look really good? Man.

(01:15):
How long was it? Welcome since we've been in Atlanta?
How long was it? What do you mean? How long
is it since we've been in the live show? We
seen a live show in Atlanta? Oh, the live show
that we did last time with February. Who was at
the February show anyway? I remember you. Yes, I remember you. Yes,
we took pictures. Have a seen? Everybody? Have a seen? Yes,
have a sea? So yes, first and foremost, I gotta

(01:40):
tell y'all how this show almost didn't happen. Alright, just
give me to swim me a second. Jesus so who
he follows us on social media? Thank y'all, Yes, thank you? Yeah. OK.

(02:02):
Last week it's it's cadeed for me to always. Last week,
we was filming season two of The Team A right,
and as you know, when we filmed at Tyler Perry Studios,
we film a lot of pages, right, so it'd be
sixteen hour days. Sometimes I need sleep. At like twelve

(02:26):
o'clock in the morning, I get a phone call from
cadem She's like one thing about me. I'm anna crying.
So I'm half sleep. I'm like, I'm like, what's up?
It was up? What's up? What's up? She's like, my face,
my face fucked up. I said, it can't be fucked up.

(02:50):
She said, I'm gonna send you a picture. So she
sends me a picture. Y'all see that, so loose? Thank you?
Who said that? Thank you, thank you, thank you. So
I was like I was like, I was like baby, baby,

(03:12):
you look amazing, I said you as I said, baby,
you look amazing. Go to sleep. When you wake up
in the morning, everything will be fine. I went to sleep,
I woke up in the morning. She sent me this. Yeah. Okay,

(03:36):
So so now it's sixty five in the morning. I
haven't gotten any sleep. I gotta be on set. When
I first opened up the thing, I was like, damn.
But I couldn't let that be my response when I
saw her, so I immediately faced timed her back and

(03:57):
I was like, what am I looking at? I don't
I don't see anything. I don't see any of the right.
Then she sends me this, she had to have oral surgery.
So now I don't know how to respond. I go, babe,

(04:18):
what is this? She said, Look at it to vowel.
It looks like someone put a field goal post in
front of my face and kicked field goals in my
mouth for three hours. Facts all the way to my brain. Okay,
that's what I was like, babe. As soon as they
get done removing all of that, the swelling is going
to be gone. Then she sends me this, do y'all

(04:40):
see the tears the residue? So me now I'm in
husband moved. I don't care about filming. I don't care
about nothing. I said, baby, I'm coming home. She said why.
I said, I'm sucking the Dennis up all right. So
she's like, you know what the four You can't do
that because you have a job. I don't want you

(05:01):
to lose your job. I don't want you to be
on TMZ sisters actor beings up the dentist. So I said, fine,
I'm canceling the tour. She said, no, you're fucking not.
I said, I said, so, so what do you want
me to do? White can't? She said, you know, people
spend time they got baby since for their kids. They

(05:24):
put that part. I know the struggle. She said, I'm
gonna figure it out. You don't worry about it. I
said that, baby, I gotta go back to set. Cool.
She goes, So now I'm like, oh my god, I
don't know what to do. I didn't get no sleep,
I said, baby, what's the matter? She said, hold on, dad,

(05:46):
If my dad in the audience cold your ears, the
show out to my dad, y'all, Hey, papa, all right?
So Cicari cols his ears. She says, baby, I'm just mad.
I said, why are you mad? And she goes because
I got my period, so I can't give you no
pussy and I can't suck no dick. I was like

(06:13):
this whole time, I'm just concerned about you ache, Tier, Tier,
But that shows you commitment. My wife is always ready
to serve, always ready to serve, and in more ways
than what song give me something. The reason why it's

(06:38):
important for me is because I can approached by a
lot of men. They'll be coming up to me. They'd
be like, you know you devout right. I'm like, yeah,
don't let this purple joke up you nigga. I'm from Brooklyn.
I throw these things and it's like, nah, yeah, you
know what it is. You know what it is? What

(07:00):
is here? Did tonight? But they come to me super aggressive,
and they'd be like, man, you'd be writing on like
sensitive ship about your wife on social media and my
wife be like, why can't you be more like the Vale?
Why can't you be more like de Val? So I
was like, you know what, don't let your girl do
that to you. Brother. The next time your girl asked

(07:21):
you why you can't be like the Val asked her
why she can't be like codein, because codein is like this.
And and before you ladies in here say, oh my god,
the violence so misogynistic. You want to know who set
me this fucking picture with a halo? She said it

(07:46):
to me with a halo. I was on set film
and I hadn't been home in four days. She said, baby,
how are you? I said, I'm stressed. She said, check
your d M. I checked my d M and I
was there. I was trying to give him something to
look forward to. But then my tooth was happing. But
that's why she was so mad. But but yes, your

(08:09):
heart always was and it does get reciprocated. Yes, she's
called the throat goat. I am the tongue god. All right.
I remember the first time I tried to eat pussy.
I was nineteen years old. I didn't know what I
was doing. She was like, hey, hey, hey, I was

(08:32):
like what she was like, I got a so damn
So I started watching some porn before. No before I
used to fast forward through all that part, I said,
let me pay attention to this point in right hand.
So now, who are I'm paying attention? Right? So? I
remember the first time I went in the room. I

(08:53):
looked on her face, and she just knew because normally
I come in there after football practice, I'm soup like something.
You know what time it is? This time I came
in there, I said, maybe I want you just laying
your back real quick. He dropped the octave. I know
what time. I dropped the octave to prepare. I was prepared.
I was prepared. I opened up the knees real slow,

(09:15):
like right, and I just kissed. I said, Bob Bob,
Bob bob. The minute I just kissed right there, she said, Executive,
I'm gonna beat you up. I promise you. They're always

(09:36):
in COMETI with each other, not be the last to
know the joke. Yeah, okay, the Land of Milk and Honey.
There you got sorry? Are you all ready for that?
As podcast? So who listens every week Today's podcast? Alright? Alright, alright,

(09:59):
So y'all know after I talk my ship, we always
go with karaoke. My wife says she got some special
for me today for karaoke. I decided to take it
back because if you listen to the podcast, you know
I can't hold a note if you place it in
my hands. So I'm gonna ask y'all, because really, these
live shows are not about deval and I talking, because

(10:22):
y'all listen to us. Talk comes from we want you
all to participate. We want you all to let lose,
get some drinks in your systems, make it a cute date. Now,
how many couples do we have in the house? All right?
My single women? Okay, well just so you know, single women,

(10:44):
my single brother is here and today is his birthday?
Say can we get him a little happy birthday? Real quick? Oh?
Just twenty days? Happy birthday? Broke. So ladies, just so
you know you're single in England? And how about my
single men other than my brother? Single man? What I'm

(11:10):
gonna be honest, I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm
gonna tell you right now. The only man you're gonna
see it here is the man whose girlfriends or fans
a wife said you're gonna watch that as podcast live
with me? Because then be the same niggas that be
approaching me in the airport man, and I'd be like,
I ain't tell you to watch this ship man. So

(11:34):
if karaoke, I want to take you back to a
song that's actually very special to deval and I because
October three will make twenty years for us dating y'all
two decades twelve married. That's crazy to me. Whole score.
But this song, I think it's pretty popular. I think
y'all can sing along, and it's very sentimental attachment for us.

(11:56):
We're gonna sing it first, and I'm gonna tell you
why after. This song is significant to us, all right, exactly?
All right, all right, give it up for yourselves. Do
y'all know what that song is important? To tell them? Why? Why?
Who knows? That's the first time we made love. That

(12:21):
song was in the background. It was in the background.
I was on top of cake. We was doing out this.
I spared them the details the valve enough about us tonight. Huh.
That's the first time I've had a woman crowd who.
I was like, what happened? You said, yes, right, it
was the moment she was like, I just feeling right now.

(12:43):
I was like, yeah, that's a love, that is all love.
All right, So let's jump into the show, Jump into
the show. Who he grew up in church? Yeah, we
just spent the last twenty minutes talking about sex. Now

(13:04):
we're gonna transition. I grew up, I grew up the
church Sailing Missionary Baptist Church in Brooklyn on an album
All Yes, I heard somebody saying, Jesus know my heart.
That's what people do right before they right, they say that,
right before they do something fucked up. Jesus, No, my heart, Jesus.

(13:24):
So I grew up going to church, and one of
the first moments that I had with Codeine was in
church because my parents was like, if you're diding a
young lady and you're gonna be serious, bring her to church.
So it was Easter Sunday. We went to six o
clock service, and on this day I thought I was
gonna lose my girl because it was around one forty

(13:48):
and we were still in church. Still in church, I
remember I was sitting there nodding. Kerry was over there nodding,
and I said, baby, baby, wake up. Once I tapped
it like this is a baby, baby, you can't you
can't nod. This is what she did in the middle

(14:14):
of the church. Now we're in the front right and
I'm like, I'm like, Dean cadan Man, get up. She's
looked at me. She said, m M. I've been here
for six hours. I don't know none of these niggas
and I don't even know you no more. Wake me
up when it is over. So from that moment when
I was just like, all right, we were not necessarily

(14:35):
church people, but we are spiritual people. Who here is
spiritual when you I'm a very spiritual person. I believe
in God. I pray to God every day. I thank
him when things go wrong, I thank him when things
go right. That's just how it goes right. Um. One
thing I remember watching when I grew up was how

(14:56):
the preacher always had mad money. Are you fly? And
I remember the first time I came down to Atlanta
and I went to a mega church and the mega
church was just like this, and they had a DJ,
and the DJ was like, give it up for Bishop
so and so dude came out dressed just like this.

(15:16):
He said what And I was like there he got
an ice style rolegs. I'm like, dang, I need to
I need to be a freaking preacher. And the conde
I started talking about how we were gonna raise our kids.
Because you know a lot about dead as podcast. We
do tell jokes, we talk about relationships and love, but
it's also about just being a better version of yourself. Right.

(15:36):
We want that when you guys leave here, you leave
filled with motivation and inspiration to be better tomorrow than
you were today. And what I realized is that a
lot of people go to church for the same reasons.
And what we do is we often judge people in church,
don't we We often judge passes. But are they not
people like us? They are? Right? So, Kadina and I

(16:00):
found out about this movie was the name of a movie. Man, Well,
let's you're the trailer first. I think that would be
a good way to start it. Yah, I think I
should watch this trailer trailer? What are you thinking? Him?
What is calling you first Sunday back? Nothing? These m nothing.
You can see our first Sunday back is East Sunday

(16:21):
and that right, that deserves something special, something new. Yeah,
you should wear nothing. An I'm gonna tell you what
I'm thinking. I'm thinking product. I'm telling you there, it's
just something about a pastor and product. It just it
gives you chill. I have been blessed with some beautiful product.

(16:50):
Mm hm. You know what. We don't want to go
to extravagant, you know, we want people to Yeah, souls
And I don't think it's going get deal with the pearl,
all right. So the name of the movie, it's called
Honk for Jesus. Do y'all know the two people right
there for Jesus save your soul out in theaters and

(17:12):
on Peacock September second, and here to talk about it
live in the flesh are the sties of this new
felt one more time? Scaring k Brown? Do y'all need

(17:34):
two people? I don't know if y'all know the man?
Thank you so much for joining us. Good over the couch? Man?
So are you doing? The whole time? I was like,
can a negro make it over the couch? Do I
still have scared? Warming up? Warming up? Oh man. So

(17:58):
we're so happy to have y'all here today. Thank you
so much. We are excited to be this is Atlanta.
We have to show Regina what this energy is like
because she was warning, what what is this live podcasting about?
And here we are. This is what the shows is
how we do it. So we have to show them

(18:19):
some love. So tell me, y'all, what can everyone expect
from this film? For Jesus? What you got to say
about this? I don't know. I don't know you saw
it you saw a trailer. You know what, I'll tell
you one thing. It's good times. It's a good it's
we love the church. So we want everybody to know

(18:40):
this is not a condemnation of tying to not at
all trying to build it up back back, that's right,
build better, yeah, build back back. We love it. And
also there's a it's a critique, you know, it's a
critique of prosperity preaching, it's a critique of other things
that we associate with the Black Church as well, because

(19:01):
you can only critique something, I think, authentically if you're
coming from a place of love, and that's what I um.
We got a chance to watch the movie and I
was thoroughly entertained one because you two are just great artists.
But number two, the way the story was told was
so different. It's a mockumentary style film, and you guys
get to show us first lady and a bishop in

(19:22):
a different type of light. Can you talk about what
you guys went through to get to that level to say,
you know, I understand these characters and this is how
I'm going to present them. Well, you know, at first
of all, it was so easy with Sterling, right, like
as soon as we met. I mean, I think that
energy was there. We had the respect already, and then

(19:45):
the camaraderie, and then I was like, wait, Sterling is
a fool, Like I'm a fool, So then we just
have fun. People didn't know they think I'm raised by
white people in real life. I didn't, you know what,
I didn't know how black Sterle. Yeah, and then we
had an honest conversation. We did, and I said, you

(20:06):
wanted that I'm one of you. Yeah, yes, you're coming
to the barbecue, Starling, we wanna to the barbecue. Did
any of your personal experience of some church kind of
manifest its way into this while you were preparing for
your role that I think? I think it can't help,

(20:27):
but do that? You know, I grew up in the church.
My mom was born again at age forty. She had
me at thirty four, So from six on we spent
fifteen minutes a day praying in tongues. And I'm like, Mom,
I don't know, I don't know exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
good for you get it. My man is all about
the personal prayer language. I believe this. Yeah, I want

(20:51):
to go to heaven, but right, don't get hit by nothing. Um.
But but so it was something that like this business
in particular, and you guys can attest to this is
a faith walk. If nothing else. It is people constantly
saying no, no, I don't think so maybe next time,
and in the back of your mind you have to believe,

(21:12):
like there's a yes. I know my yes as eternal
and it may be deep inside me and quiet, but
one day somebody else is going to see it too.
So so my faith has brought me through this whole career,
including this movie. Very nice. How does your Regina well,
same thing? I mean, I was raised in a quiet
church because my my mother went to uh Regina was
Greek Orthodox, Orthodox, Catholic something. No, my mother went to

(21:40):
a very quiet church because she was raised in a
in a Southern Baptist church. So okay, yeah, but when
I'm not gonna lie. When I was a little girl
and I was at the church, I got scared. I've
never seen people running and fainting. I saw nurses. I
was like, it's dangerous in here. Um. But I did
come to love it, and yeah, every time the revival

(22:02):
week was seven hours A nice I was, but I did,
but I do love it. You know, they're parts of
the church that I mean, you can't you can't find
anything more uplifting and soothing and so. But I didn't
know much about first ladies, so it was interesting to
see how women anchor the man a man and although

(22:26):
you might not see what's happening behind the scenes, it
is that stability that allows that man come on, okay,
come on, no, yeah, but to do and see everything
that he is. So I had I have a lot
of I have a lot more respect about what they

(22:47):
endure than I did before. Um, I just I wanted
to jump in because when when I was watching the film,
that's the one thing I noticed. I grew up in
a church, and when you grew up with a church,
the first Lady doesn't really have a voice. She wears
nice hats, she wid dresses, he always stands behind. When
watching this film, it was like an in depth look
to how much inside and how the voice of God

(23:09):
speaks through the first Lady to the bishop. Can you
talk a little bit about that? It's true? I mean, no,
it is true. I think that's an instinctive quality that
women have. But specifically because the first Lady and the
pastor have to represent the roles right and the role

(23:32):
of the husband or the head of of the pastor
is the head of the church. And I think you know,
Trinity says that you know, he may be the face
and the head, but I am, you know, the next
um and and and and I'm sure you probably can
see that in ways the vale as the dude who's

(23:54):
out from he got on a pink suit. But you know,
like pful if my respective party. But like I just
behind closed doors that you guys sharing this thing that
you guys talk all this stuff through. You know what
I'm saying. It's similar. And let me tell you there

(24:15):
is no decision that I'm make in my life. Well,
I don't look over and go, what do you what
do you think about this? Yeah? Like that ever watch
the shoes being here, everything we talk about, and I
always look over my shoulder and I'm always just like,
you know what you're thinking. I trust her discernment. I
always feel like women have a different level of discernment.

(24:38):
I believe that because we can see things that yeah,
absolutely absolutely you can't see. You want to know. I
had a guy tell me I mean, no offense, ladies,
but I had a guy tell me if Oh damn,
it don't work. Said if if if if if If

(25:00):
men had what women had, they ruled the world. But
they kind of already do. But that's not what I meant.
He meant that we have uh, we have a who
has heard me? Is that? God? I'm sorry, you know,
but they're so connected to the intuition and that in

(25:23):
a way that men are not, and that we don't
realize that in the beginning, for so long we're not
aware of that power of a better word. So with
your characters, though, in the face of scandal within the marriage,
what do you think makes your characters marriage different? M wait,

(25:44):
how do we think we should do? What? What makes
the marriage difference? What makes it different dealing with scandals?
So they're in the marriage. We don't want to give
away like spoilers and nothing. But but you know, he
just did something that made him lose his congregation, and
so the film is about like us hiring a documentary

(26:06):
film crew to get our congregation. Keeps saying us, I
did not want that documentary. He wants to chronicle the
great comeback. In his mind, she understands that the document
film crew is gonna film what they wanted film to
tell the story that they want to tell. Um. So

(26:28):
after they go through what they go through and you
see it when you come out, set to him for
a second and on the moment um, like she has
to make decisions in terms of like do I support
my husband? Do I do I not? What is the
Christian thing to do? You know what I'm saying, And
like what exactly does that mean for this culture, for
us as a as a couple of and as a

(26:48):
church at the church. Did she do more than you
would have done? Oh? It's funny you ask a question.
We literally went through the same thing, the same thing exactly. Okay,
what I'm saying, I'm a clarified. When I first met Sterling,

(27:09):
it was four years ago. I was trying to get
in the TV game and I told him. I was like, I, Sterling,
I want to be a TV be an actor. So
I was like, you got to be your own advocate.
You have to go through the necessary channels, put in
the work, and wait your time, right And I was like, no,
I want to do that. So I told Kerry, I said,
I'm going to create a social sitcom and I'm gonna
build my own platform with sixty seconds in an iPhone

(27:32):
and my wife said you not. She was just like no,
like I don't want people on in my business. And
I was like, trust me, trust me, this is this
is gonna work. I trust me if we're gonna do this,
And the whole time in the beginning she was like, devout, man,
I don't want to do this. And I was like,
do you trust me? Do you believe in me? And
she said yes. I said, well, if you believe in me,

(27:52):
just followed that's beautiful. All of this came from sixty
seconds in an iPhone for me doing this every morning,
all up in the house, in her bonnet, everything, everything
d crusted in the eyes, all that. But and and
the truth is I picked up my phone and did this.

(28:13):
But it wouldn't have worked without her, Like what what?
What the whole thing was about was that relationship. So
when I watched the film, it was about watching the
relationship and I could relate to it. And I feel,
like so many people your bedroom scenes better. It depends
on what you catch. Because if I had a little
bit of Hennessey tend to go left. If she had

(28:37):
an edible, he may not even make it. Hey, But
with all due respect, Yeah, Mr Brown, Yes, man, you
go about an a peck oh triple, And I were
just like, how my past was it? Six eight ten?

(29:02):
My good man? All right, I'm trying to keep up
with your husband. I listen, listen, my wife is not here.
Shout out to Ryan Shot. I appreciate that. No, listen,
I work out, But you want to know, I bet
you can feel me on this one. D The thing

(29:24):
that I want most is longevity. I want to be
around for a long time. And I think unconsciously and
consciously we as black men, sometimes I think we only
have in a lot of the amount of time and
sometimes make different choices based upon like, well, we're only
gonna be here for so long. I got two beautiful boys,
You've got four beautiful boys. I want to see their
beautiful boys and girls. And I want to see their

(29:46):
beautiful boys and girls. So the thing is, I work
out so I can play. Absolutely, So I absolutely the
energy that it was required for boys. Yes, you know,
you know, yes, So I work out for that. I First, well,
I want to show you how women do right in
my house. It don't matter what I'm talking about. My
wife gonna talk about something. This is every day. Look,

(30:10):
we're having a whole podcasting. I don't want to know
what they're talking about this. No, Regina's over here asking
me the question that I'm gonna have one more baby?
What's that guy? What's the answer to that? Y'all? I
just like that. The next one could be your girl,
or it could be you my other boy. You need

(30:33):
a basketball team, no, like you can fill it out.
Tell you a shallow strokes? Damn, Regina. I don't, Regina,
as he may not. That's what I'm saying. I'll be
able to help himself in terms of his stroke. I'm

(30:54):
trying to be nice. God, where's that voice again? Is
that what happens? Shallow strokes? Shallow strokes? Y'all? The boys
shoot out, The boys shoot out fast, and they reached
the target picker, and the girls happen, They swim. Then
you gotta go shallow shows, and then the place is

(31:18):
gonna shoot out fast. This is the first time, and
the girl is gonna keep going. Regina, this is the
first time I've ever had a woman in my life say, bro,
you need to be more shallow. That's the first time ever.
Because I have to, but I want more, baby, I

(31:40):
promise you all. All right. So to wrap things up,
how well did you get to know each other during
the film? Pretty well? Yeah, yeah yeah once we once
we zumed, we were like, oh, we're gonna we're gonna
do this. We don't get along. Yeah, And and I
love Ryan too, so it make it easy to have

(32:01):
a very similar relationship with somebody the audience too. But
we'll talk about that later. But I hope you I
know each other really well because we're gonna actually put
that knowledge to a test. Alright, hold that thought. We
have so much more to say, but not before we

(32:21):
get into these ads. Will be right back, y'all. We're
gonna have a little audience participation slash. Our guests are
going to play a game with us because we want
to get you all involved in the conversation. In the
situation up here is already for all right? All right?

(32:43):
So Trinity and Lee Kurtish Child's those your character names, right,
so fun fat And this is them writing into us
as if this were like a listener letter. When we met,
he was Baptist and I was apocalypse out. It's the

(33:10):
lights in the eyelashes, my bad. I promise I could
read um but we brought our love for Jesus and
Holy Abundance together to start one of Atlanta's biggest, most
prosperous churches. Wander to Greater Paths, give it that fraternity
and league Ernest Child's y'all. So they're going to play
the game as dead characters. Yes, they're gonna play as
their characters. And then we're actually gonna have a couple

(33:32):
from the audience join us on stage. So pretty much
we had you all right into deadness Advice at gmail
dot com and trouble went and picked out someone's love story.
So I won't give your names. First, I'll read the
love story. And when you hear this or you know

(33:54):
your love stories being read, you should make your way
up to the front of the stage and you can
come over to Donora on the side. Here, wave your hand,
and you're gonna make your way up to the stage.
All right, we're ready. Yes, this is a portion where
all the men get really nervous because they're wondering did
my wife, did my fiance? Did my significant other? Right

(34:17):
in and now she's about to make me get up
on these people's stage and act to fool This is
the moment y'all, you're gonna hear somebody go down every show.
We've been married for almost nine years, and the reason
we resonate with you guys so much is because we're
also from Brooklyn. Cadine. I empathize with you because I

(34:38):
too married a Yankee, and I have no ross business marrying,
all right, so she must be at yacht out there
and not a crow tonight, all right. The only difference
we seem to find between the four of us is
that instead of the nfl our New York escape was
the military. I thought when he left for basic training

(35:00):
and that was it but going away to an h
B c U and was going to enjoy myself or
we know who it is now. Okay, before you knew
what he was visiting me on campus. Our cute boyfriend
girlfriend phase came to a halt when we found out
he was deploying to Afghanistan. Somehow we knew we couldn't
do that journey without each other, so we eloped and
got married. I was eighteen, he was twenty. Since then,

(35:22):
the Army has has given us the opportunity to live
all over again. Hawaii and Italy just come to the
most recent names that we've been so now we're apparents
to a two year old son, and we truly got
to enjoy this first few years of us married and
it was fun while it lasted. Come to the stage,
Tyanea Malik Watson. All right, couple number three again. When

(35:47):
you hear your story, make your way, even if you're
up at the top. Our relationships started with a catastrophe. Well,
god damn like when you use the word like catastrophe,
that that's that's pretty significant, right I hit him with

(36:10):
my car while he was on his bike. But there's
not much better blue light and some quality time. Can't
hell get it up for seconds for so so? So

(36:37):
I felt like, since we have Sterling and Regina playing
their TV couple situation, I might as well bring up
my hobby and his co star get it up for crystals?
All right, So we're gonna play a little game. Do
we have our notepads? Oh? Wonderful we do. Okay, great,

(36:58):
So let me tell you all how this is going
to work. Everyone has their little dry erase board. We're
gonna have our couples back to back, so you will
go back to back with your significant other. Okay, And
the way this is going to work. I will read

(37:20):
a question, and I will direct the question to either
the gentleman or the ladies on stage, and you are
going to answer the way you feel your significant other
would answer. Baby. Hold on, I'm just letting you know.
I'm answering these as Zack, not not not not. I

(37:43):
just want to be clear. Alright, thanks for the clarification.
That's a good point. That's a good point. We don't
want nobody's marriage to tonight. That's good. That's good. Yes,
so we have sterling answering a sternity answering as Zach.
Thank you for being cleared. All right, Maliko answer as

(38:05):
Malik though period. We don't got no Alton that nobody
over here is Malik being Malik personality. I heard what
he does. He served in the military. Okay, that part alright,
Question number one, I am asking this to my gentleman. Okay,

(38:27):
but I remember both of you you all are answering who
is more likely to sneak out of church before service ends.
I think we got answers, all right, all right, now, yes,
all right. I would like to have couple number one
reveal on the count of three, one to three at

(38:47):
the same time, a couple of number one, Me and Malik. Yeah,
they're right, they gotta match. Give it up, give it up. Oh,
now they're arguing over who gonna clean wood board? Lord,
y'all married and absolutely all right. In the middle, we

(39:09):
have uh trinity the past, all right, Zach and Fatima.
That yo, y'all be acting like Zach like the worst
guy ever. Y'all go the shady crazy bro. Right, this

(39:38):
is a difference, all right. Next question, I'm gonna ask
this to the ladies. What would your spouse say they
are the most blessed to have? All Right, we'll have
our couple in the middle. Answer first one to three, yep,
me my wife. Okay, that's a match. They're ay good,

(40:00):
very good, very good. One point for you, Zach and Fatima.
One to three, Yes, it's another man that no, he
blessed to have the tema. All right? And down here
couple number one. Oh, that's okay, she let him rock

(40:26):
because that's their son. Okay, all right, but I beat
you out, bro, that's a that's an honest answer, y'all.
See how he still want me to clean him up?
That's an understand sower. You ain't getting no boody tonight.
But it's an understandswer. That's a rap. What are you

(40:47):
doing here? Question number three, This is a question for
the gentleman. What is your partner's biggest deal breaker? Couple
number three, what y'all got down their biggest deal breaker? Okay,
cheating and lane, that's a deal breaker for me too,

(41:10):
so good ship, alright. Couple number one loud chewing. That's
a pet peeve chewing. She said, this is not a
fish market. Close your mouth in a very West Indian

(41:37):
Caribbean thing to see. That's a very Caribbean thing for sure.
She's Haitian in Panamanian. So there you go, yo yo.
Let me tell you something you know about Caribbean women, y'all.
Let me tell you something about Caribbean women, y'all. Cade
is a people watching Well, be at dinner, right, and
I will put a piece of food in my mouth,

(41:57):
close my mouth and chew, and let's be holding her
breath so she can hear me. What why She's like,
why you gotta cheose so loud? Eat your food. If
you eat your food, you can't hear me too. This
should be just taking over my whole everything. You got

(42:19):
that at though not training him right? How to chew y'all,
couple in the middle, What do we have? What's the
biggest deal breakers? I'm watching the movie. There's no deal
I had to struggle to come up with something. But
that's probably the right answer. And that's accurate. When y'all
see the movie, you'll know why. That's very accurate, very accurate. Yes,

(42:41):
I almost want to give you all a point, just because,
just because, all right, on to the next question we're
gonna get. Let's spicy exactly. I hope you got a
good song for this question to night, just so you know,
I think I stepped on my brain. Goddamn. All right, listen,
you want brain watch down here, so make sure I
don't fall off the stage. And I gotta save the

(43:04):
braide for later on tonight. You know what time it is?
All right, couples, And this is going to be directed
to our ladies. If your spouse had to give you
a report card grade, what sex position would she give you?
For sime, This is for the men. I wrote this wrong. Men.

(43:27):
If your spouse had to give you a report card grade,
what sex position would she give you? An? A four
A plus couple number one one? To three. What we got,
don't you? Style and missionary. It's not a match. It's

(43:47):
not a match. They thought one thing and now they
found something up. Okay, it's education ctainly worried about how
you answer this question. This is this is marriage breaking
type of stuff. It's the zacting the table. It's just
the game. It's just the game, y'all. And it's a

(44:10):
judgment free zone. Thank your baby, you remind them and yourself.
I'm on my first ladyship. I'm on my first ladyship today. Hi, y'all.
All right, let's do zacting the table which I got
down there? Wait, what do you that's the one. That's

(44:37):
the one that come on, that's the one. Come on.
See the blue Light. Let me let me tell you
a little something about when uh, real life imitates art.

(44:58):
It's called the cold on Marley. All right, thank you.
Number four. I was inspired. I was inspired number four. Yeah,
um coda is here because of the Blue Light. That
episode came out of February twelve. I got home February.
Dakota was born November eight. Then you do the math.

(45:20):
You do the math, alright, right in the middle of
my couple, Let's see where we go. What's you'all got
bank shot the dog truyn getting hallelu hallelui shull ah.

(45:50):
And our last question of the night, I've done lost
score because between karaoke with y'all and there Shenanigan's up here,
I don't know who's winning. Oh, Sis down here? Score
keeping two one one two one one, all right, we
got it And this is the last one for the wind.

(46:14):
For the wind, I will ask this to the ladies.
How many times regimea any day? Is that you better
get it? Sis? All right? This is for the ladies.
How many times a week do y'all have sex? The
real couple should win this like this is these are

(46:37):
real married people. I know, all right, I know right,
y'all gotta beat us on it. My answer is two
times a week. And it determines on what type of
sex are we talking about? Okay, she said all sexes,
not even but roughly two times a week? You you agree?
Two times a week? We got to see, is it?

(47:00):
So don't try to change your hands now you'll see
them over they're talking about something up up three solid
y'are getting complicated. They give it to these mad people.
They got it got it. Thank God, you got it.
You go because listen, some days I have some weeks

(47:22):
I think we did it twight. Sometimes we did it
four times, three times. Who could keep tracked? I'll be
keeping tracking? Yeah, leave it up to a woman to
be like, who keeps tracking at me? Me? I keep tryingly, Okay,
I know when we did do it. Thank you, thank you,

(47:46):
my goodness. All right, Trinity and Meno, what's you got
going on over here? That's the same thing. First, lady, y,
this is less than once a week. Oh yeah, yeah,
that doesn't contradict I'm doing a little man less than

(48:16):
thank you. Oh right, I think that's great answer what
I'm saying. Let's let me tell you. If you watch
the movie, you'll understand why. The reason why it is
we get partial credit at least that's all I'm saying. Partially. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, alright.
So the wind Zach and Fatima, which I got going
on over there every day, Holle lou give it on

(48:43):
the God. Yes, thank you for this heavenly body. Clearly
clearly did aout be coming home in Zach thinking that
we're gonna have the same situation at home. But then
we got these four kids that be staring us in
our face. So every day is virtually impossible. Yeah, it's
not if you really really married, like really married, not
TV married. Is no way you have sex every day.

(49:06):
There's no way, no way. All right, y'all giving up,
especially for our married Yes, thank you so much, play massive,
Rara ra much for participating all night. Your drinks are

(49:29):
on me and Cadine. So going back, get lit, get
lit babies, Yes, everybody, can we get around of applause?
Please for Stolen and Regina please thank you? Yes, my man.
All right, before you keep going, let's stop for a
quick second. We're gonna go pay some bills. We're gonna
be right back, so hold that thought. Alright, alright, alright,

(49:55):
So so before we get into the rest of the
AS podcast, we do have a nice surprise for you
guys if y'all look this way. Has another surprise for
you guys, if you take a look this way. Yeah. No,

(50:21):
So first, first and foremost um to my lovely co host,
thank you, Crystal and I. We manifested this and our
first read together. When she was a recurring character, we
were going into season two, the pandemic was happening, and

(50:41):
she and I had to go and do our reads
for all episodes on Zoom. And we started reading and
we was just like, yo, these characters are interesting, but
they work. And I remember us going through every scene
and we looked at each other and we were just like,
we're gonna get our own show. And because of you guys,
Because of you, guys. Yes it came to fruition. So

(51:03):
thank you and thank all of you guys. But um,
I also I also would be remiss if I didn't
thank my beautiful wife because no, no, no, no no,
there are certain parts of Zack that are devout. For example,

(51:25):
y'all see the handshake bow bow bow. Growing up, I
watched Martin, I watched The Fresh Prince, I watched Jamie Fox,
and I saw how they took parts of their real
life and they implemented it into the TV show. And
I always wanted to do that with my own show.
So of course I had a conversation with my wife first,
then we spoke to Crystals. So everything you see is
honestly a collaboration from all three of us and of

(51:47):
course the great Tyler Peril. So shout out to my
wife the being I love you. Also shout out to
the cast the sisters. We have we got scary carry
scary Kelly, Yes, yes, yes, puzz nay. I also have

(52:22):
two very good friends of mine that they played my
best friends on the new show. Give it Up. You're
gonna see Tony and Nathan stand up. You got Cameron
and give me ya they're gonna be on the team.
Or I just want to shout out all of y'all.
I love y'all, Thank you so much. And before we leave, right,
she didn't even know I'm gonna do this, but y'll

(52:43):
be singing. Do y'all know the Cristinal knows how to sing?
Christ come on, go ahead to something? Go ahead, go ahead,
do something? Stop your going on? Oh saying something that
reminds you of Zach Efertino. Oh wow, Why y'all not

(53:04):
to be all like that? That's turnover to leave. Y'all
watch Season for the Coaster. Okay, you need music or
you going on a cappella? Just acapella since you don't
put me on the spot compella. Go ahead, son, help
me out, because y'all singing. I hear y'all singing, all right,

(53:26):
so y'all help me out. Top on my hand, since
you went away. I ain't got no plans, no no, no,
y'all sound good. And the sound of the rain against

(53:48):
my window pane it's snow slull in tryving me and say,
oh boy, I'm the window. I'm going down because you
went around baby, my whole sad I love. And before

(54:23):
you the stage really quick, a little something. I wanted
to make sure that, um, you guys have no idea
how hard Deval and Crystal and their casts work on
this show, like you have no idea, And I just
wanted to give you all your flowers while you're here
because I just love what you'll do with each other

(54:43):
on screen. I love that you are. You know. One
thing I'm gonna do is but I just wanted to
say it to you too, um that not only are
you seeing the reality of your your prayers, but you're

(55:05):
seeing the reality of your hard work. And I see
it day in day out. So I just want to
give you both your flowers while we're here, actual flowers,
and just say congratulations, and I love you both, and
I'm so excited it's the team. I have not seen

(55:26):
not one, not two, not three minutes of it yet
because I want to be surprised just like you all.
But I'm so happy for you. I love you both
and I just cannot wait for this what this classic
that is the team is about to be So I
love you, thank you, thank you so much. People always
ask like, how does Codeine deal with the sex scenes?

(55:49):
How does she deal with the intimacy you see how
she's she's a goddess, Like she's just amazing. She's my
biggest supporter, Like this's my baby right here. I love
you and so you'll get a chance to see it
in real time. So I have a seat. Let's talk
to the people a little bit. Baby, Yeah, let's we
wrap up things. I feel like we've had the full

(56:10):
experience with you guys tonight having a good time. So
you know, like I always say or do that likes
to put it out there, that my favorite part of
the show. It's listener letters. You're going to hear from y'all. Okay,
So we decided that we're going to have a microphone
in the audience and we'll just answer a couple of questions.

(56:32):
If you have any um, this is your moment. I
know normally listener letters tend to be anonymous, so don't
be shy um again, this is a judgment free zone.
Jument Okay, So don't judge these people when they ask
these wild last questions until you get home. Yeah, when
you get home, you can judge, you believe, she said.

(56:57):
But in here, we're going to clap and applaud everybody. Yes,
so we have a microphone down front here. I believe
Dinora or Trivile has it. Raise your hand. We're gonna
come to you. Just stand, give your name, and you
can ask us anything you'd like. I see somebody back
there with a hand already. Ready, you can't see anything
in these lights. And I see a gentleman right here too.

(57:19):
I see a dude right here, this girl saying, put
his hand down. Let's make sure we asked him. Yeah,
let's come over to him first. There, you're gonna ask
this question. So I'm gonna make sure your voice is heard. Love.
When the guys asked questions, a donor screaming give him

(57:45):
the mic pause? Hey there, New York I'm still in
New Yorker. Not the pause, You're I love how obnoxiously
are with the your We're in a metro South Carolina, Okay,
South Carolina. Tring me some orange birth, so you know

(58:06):
what it is. Hey, al right, so my question is
I'm trying to get on the show. What's up? I'm
trying on the show. All you gotta shoot your shot.
You gotta call Tyler Perry. Do you have an agent?
I can get one. Well, you got the first thing

(58:27):
you gotta do. I mean, I know you, You know me.
Look at that I'm trying to get year. We're in
a group together, so we're gonna have an honest conversation
about this. I get this a lot. All right. People
come up to me all the time and be like,
put me on the show. It don't work like that.
There is a whole process. They are executive producers, then producers,

(58:52):
then casting directors. All of those people have to approve
somebody getting on the show. They're not gonna just put
you on the show just based on me. So you
have to audition. There you go. You have the audition,
submitting audition. It has to get to the casting director,
approved to the producer, than approved to the executive producer,

(59:14):
and then you have an opportunity. I'm smart, I'm gonna
hit you up. This is what you're gonna do. Send
your information to my manager send it to my manager.
He like, I know I heard this before. I know,
I gave you the mic and that's what the fuck
you did. They ain't gonna let nigas talking here no more.

(59:37):
Thank you, South Carolina. Who's next? We got a question
over here? Send it to your right, to my right.
All right, Oh there we are. Okay, hello, y'all. My
name is Justine, Um South South Jamaica. Queen's by the way, Okay,

(59:58):
queens of almost I love y'all, y'all um, But my
question is for Codeine specifically, how do you balance being
a mom to a toddler with your business and your
husband and just all the things that you have had

(01:00:18):
going on for you? How do you balance that? Because
I only have one three year old at the moment,
and I'm having the hardest time trying to work and
be good to my bed and also just balancing and
trying to start my own business. So how do you

(01:00:40):
find that balance? Girl? I will be honest with you,
there is no such thing as balanced anymore. For me.
To be honest, I've learned that I need to sometimes
have the chips fall where they're mad and just realize
that I cannot be to everything to everyone and every
circumstance at every time. And I think we all have
this this idea that people need to have that instant

(01:01:02):
access to you. It's just this this age of instant
gratification that we live in where people have to have
things done right now in this moment. So I've learned
to just realize that I need to prioritize things to
get done. Some things are just gonna have to wait. Um.
I also rely very heavily on my village. So Mimi
said to tell y'all what, So, MEMI would love to

(01:01:23):
be here tonight with Papa, but she's holding on the
four at home because who also gonna watch all them kids? Right?
But I do have a trusted village between DeVos family
and mine, who really helped to hold us down when
those moments when I felt like, you know what, I
definitely have the mom guilt that kicks in because I
want to be able to do everything and be everything
to each one of my children. And as you know,
we have four boys with four completely different personalities, So

(01:01:45):
who am I going to be catering to in that moment?
And then you add my husband to the mix, who
deserves his time. Then we have my career and then
it's just literally can never be a balancing act. Um
the juggling. Usually just let the balls fall. She will
never let the balls fall, you know, cut the balls

(01:02:05):
kind to the Maybe it came out of my mouth.
I was like, damn, I gave his ass. She just
keeps going. You're not gonna miss the alley? You who
are you? Never? But I would say since to be
kind to yourself. Just know that things are gonna happen

(01:02:26):
as they should. Prioritize, lean on your village if you
have one, Learn to relinquish power, delegate responsibilities, and know
that if you have a trusted team of people or
group of people, or even just one or two trusted
friends in your area that you can rely on. We
have that in abundance. Thankfully. We've made our family out
here in Atlanta. Shout out to all of our peeps

(01:02:47):
out here, Arianna, see you there, A got us our home.
Sean and James, their son is with our kids right
now because they can be here today. Keep it beyond guys,
I mean, we have so many friends and family that
we can count on to be that for our children.
So don't be too hard on yourself. Just make sure
you as a unit with your husband, you guys move accordingly,

(01:03:07):
because this is where it starts for me. Sure, it
also takes your spouse knowing to have grace, right, Like,
sometimes k is not gonna get to me, and it's
me understanding that I know she's not gonna get to me.
That doesn't mean that she gets to just put me
on the back burner all the time. But when you
give someone grace and then help them when you realize

(01:03:28):
they need help without them asking, it allows them to
get to you faster. So as much as we're you know,
we're very old school and traditional. When I'm like I
like to pay all the bills, she's gonna cook and clean.
I can tell when my wife is tired and I'll
be like, yo, let me just hop on the grill
and make something. Let me just order some toime food. Baby,
put that down, let me get it. This is way
she can get rest and then we can get back
to each other. So it's just a balance and act

(01:03:50):
giving each other grace, And that's really what it is, absolutely,
And the double down on that is because he lightens
my load, I can't always expect for him to just understand.
You know what I'm saying. There's times when I have
to like, you know what, some things are gonna have
to stop. I'm gonna have to hit my manager to
Nora up and be like yo, your boys over here wilding.
I'm gonna need to handle him for a day or
two block my dabby hand. So I'm like, I need

(01:04:14):
you to block my calendar for two days because we
need those touch bases. Devot does not do well, nor
do I. If we're not um, we're not in sync,
nothing else. The businesses don't work, we don't parent well
when we're not in unison, nothing else. And I know
that's a debate on social media what comes first to
kids or your spouse. In our house, we take care

(01:04:35):
of each other first, because when we take care of
each other, all of that stuff just comes. So thanks
for the questions, is yes? Good questions? Y Hey, y'all.
So my question is I've been watching you guys back
since you were on Black Love. Thank you so much. UM,

(01:04:56):
So I have a real question. I hope it's not
too hard, and I hope I don't you guys on
the spot. But what I wanted to know is how
are you guys able to move forward. I know you
both talked on infidelity on both parts. How are you
able to gain their trust back? Because now you're even
more of a superstar than you were back then. So

(01:05:18):
how are you guys able to push forward and get
to where you guys are now? You want to talk you?
For me, it's about making a choice to be in
a positive space. Right when you first meet someone, you
don't have a reason to trust them or not trust them.
You just decide that you're going to trust them. Once

(01:05:40):
you're learning someone, I've learned that people have the right
to make options that are better for them in in
certain moments. That means that she can't always just be
about devour all the time. I'm not always gonna be
about codeine all the time, especially when we're learning each other.
Once we've made that commitment that we're gonna constantly be
of service, things are different. But during the process of

(01:06:02):
trying to learn each other, there were times that I
was selfish and I made decisions that were for me.
She did the same thing. But once we got to
the point where we were like, you know what, we
are going to commit fully with each other. I'm making
a choice in this moment to trust her. I'm not
going to continue to dwell on the things that happened
in the past. I hope she doesn't dwell on the

(01:06:23):
things that happened in the past, because we can't grow
and move forward if we keep looking behind us. And
you'll you'll learn this as you get into relationships. We
learn to trust people in our family and our friends
who do way worse things we have. We give grace
to everybody else except file significant other. That person has

(01:06:44):
to walk like Jesus in order to be in our life.
But we'll let our brother, our sister, our mother and
father walk all over us and be like, you know what,
they're human, We're all human. When you understand that the
person sitting across from you as human, and you know
that they're working towards being a better of themselves for
themselves and you, you have no choice but to trust them.
And that's how I watch us, my wife, for sure,

(01:07:07):
that's good. I think that's both like a mutual thing
that we both have decided on. It's it's constantly making
the choice to decide that this is where we want
to be. And like I said earlier, when we did
the karaoke session. This will be twenty years of us together.
We started this whole thing where we were babies, we
were eighteen, and I think for me, I was just
wrapped up in this idea of what I was supposed
to be as a girlfriend, or supposed to be as

(01:07:28):
a fiance, or supposed to be as a wife that
was not necessarily true to what I believe I needed
to be for him or what he needed me to be.
So in those moments where I may have faltered, I
just knew wholeheartedly that it was a choice that I
may have made in a weak moment, and I'm not
going to say some mistake. It was a choice that
I made, and we dealt with it, and then we
moved forward. So if it's something that I feel like
couples in general are dealing with, you have to really

(01:07:51):
honestly decide is this something that is worth working on
and moving forward? If not, let it go, because no
one wants to live having to always constantly deal with
the well you did this or it being brought up
all the time, then you're never gonna get forward in
any kind of positive space or atmosphere. So that's how
we were able to get past this stuff. For years
ago and here we are today. It was worth sticking

(01:08:12):
around for. I'm happy we did. Thank you. Also, I
want you to think about this when something happens in
your relationship. Are you upset or is there a bunch
of people outside your relationship telling you you need to
be upset? Because a lot of times when you're trying
to forgive someone, it's the outside people telling you you
shouldn't forgive them. Meanwhile, baby forgiving niggas for worship. So

(01:08:37):
I really want you to think about that when you
get into a relationship with someone. When your thing's happening
between YouTube, keep it between you two. Anytime you're seeking
advice or you're seeking a word, look up, then look within,
because these are the only three that matter. Thanks for

(01:08:58):
the questions. Is we appreciate that here anymore? Oh? We
have another? Okay, so I'm going to be sure I
don't have a question. My husband is probably very grateful
for that question and the answer. He's back there. Um.
I just want to say we love you y'all. On
our vision board, we see you and shoot three sixty
all the time, which okay, okay, I saw you at home.
I have a picture with you pregnant girl. We love ya.

(01:09:23):
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for the support.
Now good night. My name is Justin Gray. I'm originally
from the Bahamas, but I moved all the way to
Atlanta from my queen Crystal Gray. Um, I'm a big
I'm a big admirer of you guys. First off, I
have to say God bless you guys. All Right, we
appreciate you so much for this opening up your lives

(01:09:47):
to just help every one of us. Right, So, I
don't really have a question, but they do possibly have
a proposal for you guys. Are yo yo, I feel
I feel you a lot. Um. It is possible though
that I may have missed one or two of your
podcast episodes, right, and so my question or proposal is,
have you guys consider it? If I did, have you

(01:10:10):
guys consider it possibly bringing in a younger couple, maybe
someone that you have mentored, or even as a random couple.
I am me and my wife, UM let me any
time we had to do. That's a question. Let me
thinking about business. I'm not mad, real question. Can I

(01:10:32):
answer this one? Yes? I freelance produced. So if you
and your wife want to start a podcast. Hit me
in there you go, there you go. That's trouble triple
through it out there. But I think he was looking
for maybe like a couple of you want to to
mentor you guys just like is that what it was?
More or less? Who gave Dollo the mic? Yeah? She

(01:10:56):
can't hear me? Um? So yeah, well we really newly words.
We've been married for about two years now. We have
thank you so much. We have our first our first princess.
Her name is a really um but yeah, we Marge
is tough. I'm gonna be on this. Marge is tough.
You know it was. It was one through seven first marriage.

(01:11:19):
Marriage is not tough. Get that out of your mind.
Marriage is not tough. Doing marriage by yourself. It's tough.
For example, if I had to move this couch and
I lift that ship up by myself, it might hurt, right,
But if I put K on the other end and
I'm on this sand, we can move this couch anywhere

(01:11:40):
we want. You gotta get in your candid. Marriage ain't tough.
You know what I'm saying. Marriage ain't tough. Marriage. This
is marriage. This right here is marriage. Me saying, Babe,
I want to do this no, no, and her saying
no and be saying trust me, trust me, trust me.
She's saying no. I'm saying trust me, you believe in me,
and she goes yeah, and then we do it together
with sixty into the iPhone. We were able to build

(01:12:01):
a multi media empire because we're married, we're partners. That's marriage, bro.
Marriage is the greatest business proposition. You are literally in
business with your best friend. Why would that be tough?
Think about it? Agreed? Agreed. So I'm gonna ask you
this one question. Questions. I'll try all you BROMI dot com,

(01:12:26):
that's s A d I c E dot com. We
have time for one more. Let's round it out. What's up? Brother?
At my own nice hat? What's up? Wife? One? Very nice?

(01:12:53):
So I just wanted to ask um, we're we're about
to hit ten years um and appreciate um just some advice,
you know what I mean for moving forward because we're
big on longevity, so we want to keep this train going,
so you know, just some words of encouragement things like that.
So ten years married or just ten years day? Ten

(01:13:15):
years married? Very nice, very nice. I think the biggest
thing for me is UM, well with deval and I
at least, this is my freaking best friend. Y'all, like,
this is my best friend. And as long as you
are as are moving together with your best friend to
just do whatever it is you want to do in life.
There's nothing greater than having someone by your side, who
you love, who you trust, who's rooting for you, that

(01:13:37):
you literally feel you can do anything with. And as
long as you guys continue to be of service to
each other check on each other's needs. I tell you
every morning Devil and I wake up, it's become a
thing where me particularly, I think about, well, damn, the
alarm clock went off on need more sleep, That's the
first thing. But then I'm like, ship, I gotta get up.
But then it's also how can I make his day

(01:13:58):
easier today? We have goals for each other that we set.
We have goals for ourselves, goals for our family, goes
for our children. So the goals go from how are
we going to get through this day? To how are
we going to get through this week? Through how are
we gonna get through this month? Continue to plan, continue
to speak life into each other, continue to manifest your dreams.
This started an eighteen years old I sat on that
bed into Vow's dorm room and I was like, bro,

(01:14:19):
so what you want to do with your life? And
Martin was on TV and he was just like, yeah,
I want to do that. I want to be an actor.
And guess what, y'all my husband is a working actor. Okay.
And I'd like to say that we just literally did
it together. You know, he did a lot of the work.
Of course I would never take his shine, but it
was just so much easier doing it together. So keep

(01:14:39):
rooting for each other, keep working together. Yeah, I would say, Um,
being of service is the biggest thing. It sounds cliche,
but it's true because you and not have an announcement. Um,
it'll be out very soon. But we actually wrote a book. Um.
We got offered a book deal the beginning of spring
last year. We've been working on this book and it's
very dear to us because it's not what you expect.

(01:15:02):
It's not the Ten Pillars to have a perfect marriage. No,
it's not it because we don't believe our marriage is perfect. Um.
It's sort of like the Black Notebook. It's our journey
from the time we were eighteen until now. And you
get a chance to get in depth insight to what
we were thinking during those times. And one thing I
noticed while writing the book with my wife is that

(01:15:24):
we started to gain traction of being soul mates when
we were constantly focused on the other person. Right when
I first got married, my idea of what a husband
was was a guy who provides, you know, a guy
who puts a roof over his head, a guy who
was tough and protects. And I wasn't there emotionally or
spiritually because I was thinking about, if these are all

(01:15:45):
the things that I'm supposed to do, let me make
sure my wife is doing all the things that she's
supposed to do. And rather than focusing on being who
I needed to be, I was too busy checking her
for stuff that she wasn't not realizing that I wasn't
doing my part, and we started to drift apart. And
the first five years of our marriage was tough. And
it wasn't tough for the typical reason that people think

(01:16:07):
it was tough. They think it's always tough because the
infidelity is tough because of finances. No, it was tough
because we weren't focused on each other. Right. I was
making money, I was building I was getting better, and
I used to come home piste off because stuff wasn't
done the way I wanted it to be done. And
it wasn't until Cadeine got pregnant with Cairo, and I said,
you know what, I'm gonna focus on making sure that
this pregnancy was perfect, and I started to really focus

(01:16:29):
on her. Then I realized that the reciprocation was coming
back tenfold, and I was like, what if I applied
this mentality to my marriage even when she wasn't pregnant.
And for a lot of young men out there, you're
here on social media, Oh this guy love, he's loving
on his wife. He's a simple or you're here young
women say, oh she's loving on her husband. She's submissive.

(01:16:51):
When you're married, there's no such thing is simple and
being submissive, it's being of service. And we really pride
ourselves on being I am everything I need to be
for my wife. There's nothing she can say to me
in real time that she wants a need that I'm
not gonna try to do with all my heart. Period.
There's no there's nothing, and it goes both ways having communication.

(01:17:14):
Do not be afraid to say to your wife and
I'm gonna speak to the gentleman directly on this. Don't
be afraid to say to your wife what you need
and what you want. We, just like them, have a
right to get everything we desire out of life, but
a lot of times our masculinity holds us back from
speaking and saying what we want. They're not mine. Readers,

(01:17:35):
you can't get upset at your wife for not giving
you what you need and what you want when you
haven't told her. And a lot of times we don't
tell them. I was guilty of that. I thought I
was a punk. If I say something, I don't want
to be a nagging husband. So I'm gonna just be quiet.
I no more come home. I'll be like, yo, it's Friday.
This Wednesday will suck. And sometimes she needs that. She's like,

(01:17:58):
oh my god, I didn't realize maybe I got you
because why I'm trying to balance and then I don't.
And in the past, what would I used to do?
It would be Friday, nothing happened, I go to sleep,
get mad, wake up on Saturday, got an attitude. Now
my attitude puts her and even worse attitude, and now
she don't even want to do nothing. And sometimes then't
even about sex. Sometimes I just want my wife to

(01:18:19):
sit on my lap and watch a movie. Just just
be there, you get it, Just be there, Just just
be here. Divid just want me to sit here? Yea,
sit here? Shut up, Shut up. She's like, why you
want me here? Because I might want some wings? And
if I want some wings, I need somebody to get
the wings. And to be honest, that's just the truth.
Be of service to each other. Brother, open your mouth,

(01:18:40):
say what you want, what you need. There's nothing anti
masculine about being open, honest, and vulnerable. So that space,
be that safe space for your husband to be able
to open up too. Okay, that's also very important because
if they don't feel like they have any kind of voice,
if they feel on her ward, then that in itself

(01:19:01):
just makes it counterproductive altogether. So women be that safe space.
Because our men, particularly are black men, have enough to
battle with in this world on a day to day basis.
They should not walk through the door, and I feel
like they're hurting their own home. So I'm glad you
said that, Donor do I got time to tell a
quick story? Quick story? This was two thousand and I

(01:19:22):
think it was two thousand and fourteen, right before Kyl
was born, me and Conde was going through some issues
and at the time I was like, I'm gonna speak
on it and be honest. So we're having a conversation
and Codeine doesn't like to argue, and I'm not trying
to argue. I'm just being honest about what I feel
and what I need. And after a while, those about
three hours, we're going in circles. She said to me,
she said, yo, man, you just sound like a bit seriously,

(01:19:47):
and I said, I'm glad you said that, because when
I when I don't say nothing the next time and
I'm out here running the streets, I don't want to
hear ship about why I didn't say something. And she
sat back and she was like, the all right about
that word. And the reason why I'm being vulnerable about
this is because everybody goes through this, right. She grew

(01:20:11):
up in a home where speaking honestly about your emotions
didn't happen. She felt attacked. So while she was feeling attacked,
she just felt like she wanted to attack me back
to get me to stop and that, and it happens
in a lot of relationships. You bro you know, bro,
it's the moans, and men don't talk about men don't

(01:20:32):
talk about this, but there have been times and and
there have been times and and and not not to
make excuses or make justifications, but when people typically step out,
it has way more to do than just sex. And
that goes for both sides you make. You don't make
a woman feel appreciated, she's gonna step out. You keep
telling a man he not good enough and won't say

(01:20:53):
anything positive, he's gonna step out. So we learned over
time that those words have power. And if you want
your man to be honest with you and be vulnerable,
you have to create a safe space. And gentlemen, if
you want your wife or your girlfriend or your baby
mother to be honest with you, you can't beat her
down with your words. Bro. You have to empower her
and make her feel comfortable about being who she is,

(01:21:15):
because when you do that, nothing can stop to people.
There's not a day in my life I walk out
in this world and feel by myself. You see, she
can finish my sentences. She know I go on and
so many times I just take a gamble. I don't
give a fuck how much this cause I'm gonna do
that ship. You wanna know why, Because whether I lose
all my money on filthy Rich, I got her. Being

(01:21:36):
able to take those chances is how we got here.
So I hope you. I hope that helps a lot
of couples who may be going through it, because Kadina
and I we're going through it and no one told
us about it, and we had to find the hard way.
And part of the reason why we do this is
to help couples like yourself and like you, so so unlucky.

(01:22:04):
You have a good time tonight. I sure Atlanta showed out.
Atlanta did show out. So as we close the show,
there's something I like to do for everybody. Like I
said before, this is a safe space, but this is
also a place where we want you to leave here
filled up, feeling like you you became a better person
today than you are before tomorrow. So can I ask
everybody to stand up. This is a mantra pretty much

(01:22:28):
what I do every single day to help me when
I walk out in the world. I want you, guys
to close your eyes, close your eyes, and I want
you to envision the biggest house you ever seen, the
most money you ever made, the nicest cars, you're next
to your best friend, You'll have a ton of kids,
and you are living your life with full autonomy, no

(01:22:52):
ownership from anybody else over what you want. And I
want you to think about this. If you can envision
that and you can see it, that means that it's
already happened. God has already provided a way for you
to get it, but you have to claim it. I
open your eyes, it's yours. Go get that ship. Yeah,
it's some beautiful people in here tonight. Look at y'all

(01:23:13):
looking at us. Don't be looking at me like that. Yeah,
it looks so good. Before we leave, we never say goodbye.
We never say goodbye because we always believe we're gonna
see you again, see you all later. So we're gonna
give you what we call ellis goodbye. On the counter three.
You're gonna tap yourself on the chest two times and

(01:23:35):
say peace, ellis goodbye on three one two three. He
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