October 20, 2022 • 44 mins
This week, Chelsea teams up with 23andMe for a very spit-ful episode. Chelsea and Catherine discover their real lineage, who’s most likely to get gout, and are shocked at how much their reports can tell them about themselves. Then: A listener with two moms discovers a number of new siblings - that reaches into double-digits. A cousin wonders if she should spill the beans about a secret sister before a big wedding. And an adoptee learns that it’s important to understand your genes before you make out with strangers at a party.
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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaProject@gmail.com
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Executive Producer Nick Stumpf
Produced by Catherine Law
Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert
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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine, Hi, Chelsea Hi. Tell USA. Today, we teamed
up with twenty three in Me and we're doing a
very special episode with them. We're gonna talk about some
of the discoveries we made as far as our health
reports and our ancestry goes. We're going to talk to
some colors and answer some advice emails. We had so
(00:23):
many crazy responses. This is gonna be so much fun. Yes,
we both did our twenty three in Me and to
find out, it covers a bevy of things, right, your ancestry,
your health markers, if you have a slightly increased risk
for something or increased likelihood, or if there's a variant detected,
or if you have irritable bowel syndrome, which apparently there's
(00:45):
an increased likelihood that I will have that. And that's
my result summary irritable bowel syndrome. That explains a lot. Actually,
is that something you feel like you have? I don't know.
I mean I've had episodes. I'm not sure I have
LDL lesterral increased likelihood. I definitely have an issue with that.
It says I have a slightly increased risk for Celiac disease,
(01:07):
but I was comparing my results with my sisters this
weekend in San Francisco, and I was under the impression.
When we were in Mariamorica, we were talking about how
much Ashkenazi jew I was, what the percentage of Ashkenazi
jew I was, and I remember the number sixty four percent.
And then when I told Simone that, she says, that's
impossible because our father was Jewish and our mother was
(01:29):
Western European. And I was like, no, I'm sixty And
then when I pulled up my results on my app, it'
said fifty percent Oshkenazi. So I want to know who
put that sixty into my head or where I read
that number. Yeah, I I also wonder, I mean, can
your ratios be a little bit different for siblings of
their full siblings? Well, you can't get sixty four percent.
(01:50):
When I realized form my sisters that you can't get
sixty percent Oshknazzi from one parent when the other parents,
it's like straight down the middle fifty fifty. So the
g is meat and then whichever the stronger genes are
the dominant gene, we'll take over. But you're never going
to get more than fift from one parent, is the
(02:11):
way that. My sister explained it to me. She's a
health attorney and works for Genentech, so I'm gonna I'm
gonna believe her. I mean, I don't know that that's right,
but I think that makes sense because we were both
exactly Fiftysnazi. But I had different sides of my mother
than she did. I have like part Scandinavian and part German,
(02:33):
and more German than she has, which explains my good looks.
I was actually pretty surprised by mine. I thought I
definitely take after my like the side of my family
that's very British, very Irish, I'm very fair, have a
little British turned up nose, all of that kind of stuff.
But I was actually surprised to find I'm very heavily German,
(02:54):
which I knew, but also French, which I guess that's
a nice little touch. Yeah, that makes me feel fancy.
I'm like a little bit French. French is good. I
thought I was Safartic Jewish, which doesn't make any sense
at all, because, as my sister also explained to me,
Ashkenazi are like lighter skinned and you know, more blonde hair,
(03:16):
blue eyed, where Safartic is darker skinned, dark hair, dark eyes,
and so I don't know why I had that confusion. Also, well,
because you got all that German blood, So maybe that's
where the blonde and everything that comes from, right, I
mean it wouldn't be great though, like to do it
and find out you have like ten percent Japanese or
something like that would be something like WHOA, I have
(03:38):
a very small percent of Senegambian and Guinean. So I
think that's black. Yeah, that's African. And I do know
that I have one ancestor who was like several generations back,
who was passing quote unquote as they used to say,
for white, both he and his sister, and so that's
(04:01):
part of our ancestry. And I thought that was really interesting.
It's like, Okay, it's actually real, it's true. Wow, that
it is cool. I think it's interesting that you can
test for things like irritable bowel syndrome, like that's a
genetic marker. I would not have thought that, Like I
get the cholesterol, I get heart disease. Did you what
about the bcr age a gene? Then mine did not
(04:25):
show that. And this test it tests for a couple
of the variants that you know lead to the b
R C aging, but not all of them. So you know,
one of the things they said is if you do
see stuff like that, go talk to your doctor and
like check that out. I have also, this is a
good one to highlight increased likelihood for gout. That sounds
(04:48):
about right. That sounds like something I would come across
and at some point in my life I just associate
gout with like Henry the Eighth and like eating a
lot of roast chicken. This one says drug metabolism predicted
rapid metabolizer. That makes a lot of fun. I mean,
that is very on the nose. I had something. I
(05:12):
have a slightly increased risk for macular degeneration, which makes
sense with my family history. Oh yeah, I have that too,
And I think that's just isn't that age related? Like
most people have that? Yeah, But you know, it's this
sort of thing that makes it a little easier to say, like, Okay,
here's something for me to watch out for, here's something
to talk to my my eye doctor about, and that
(05:32):
sort of thing. I was less likely to have a
fear of public speaking. I thought that was interesting. Are
you serious the stuff that it's crazy? Yeah? Do you
have a fear of public speaking. Uh not really, no, oh,
here he is speaking to us. And then you can
also find your Neanderthal and do you have some Well,
(05:54):
let's look. I bet that makes a lot of sense too.
I sometimes feel like a Neanderthal. You have ship. Hey, Chelsea,
you have more Neandrethal DNA than of other customers. What
the fund does that mean? I have more Neanderthal than
Thank god? Okay, okay, so I'm on the lower end
of Neandrethal here, let's remember that. Okay, okay, okay. I
(06:18):
inherited a small amount of DNA from your Neandrethal ancestors.
Out of the seven thousand, four hundred variants we tested,
we found two hundred and twenty variants in your DNA
that traced back to Neadrethal's. Wow, I know. Brad's markers
said something along the lines of his bloodline could be
traced back to a single male two hundred and fifty
thousand years ago, like single males. Well, obviously there was
(06:43):
a woman involved after that, but like they could trace
his lineage back two hundred and fifty thousand years I
don't know how, wow, but they did. That's it's crazy.
You know what I just can't believe that so many
people are able to I guess you can opt to
be public on this right and way. I have an
increased likelihood for roseatsia. That's true. My whole family has rosasia.
(07:05):
Actually not my whole family, but both of my brothers
have it. Oh, here was another very interesting one from Brad's.
So Brad by trade as a drummer. He's a musician.
He's also constantly shaking his leg, just like when we're
sitting at the dinner table. I always think there is
a random earthquake. He has a gene that is common
(07:26):
in people who have fast twitch muscle fibers, So it's
like he was born to be an amazing drummer. That's like,
is that restless legs syndrome also? Or no, maybe it's related.
It said something about the muscle fibers and the way
that it's common in people who are athletes and runners
(07:47):
and that kind of stuff. Mine says I have an
increased likelihood for resting bitch face. Wow, they can tell
so much. That's amazing. Do either of you have the
increased likelihood to hate the sound of chewing? No, that's
the thing I can hate that what's it called misoponia?
(08:10):
That is a really gross sound chewing that's in one
of my results. It's amazing, that's so funny. I can't
believe they can measure things like that and that or
that that stuff is genetic. I mean it should should
be measurable. What about the sound of forks and knife
scraping on a plate. That's worse than chewing, but usually
(08:30):
the to go hands in hand. Katherine's dad likes to
cut his eggs with a steak knife. So yeah, so
it's just like it's terrible, it's terrible, so annoying. Yes,
but Chelsea, we actually have a ton of amazing questions
for today. We're callers some emails. I had the hardest
(08:52):
time picking which emails to use. Yeah, we did a
call for submissions for twenty three and me or you know,
other genetic testing things people found out, and we've got
some crazy responses. So should we launch in after Yeah,
we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.
(09:14):
All right, Chelsea, are you ready for some email? We bean? So.
Our first email comes from Kyle Elizabeth. She says, good morning.
My name is Kyle Elizabeth. I'm a thirty two year
old woman living in Austin, Texas. I was gifted a
twenty three and me test in October, and when the
results came back, the surprises started. I'm the child of
(09:37):
lesbian mothers, so I've known since I was eleven that
my father was a sperm donor. But I was told
that he was Puerto Rican and in med school at
the time he donated. I was also told that he
had only donated enough for one family, mine, so I
was the only child created with his seamen. Well turns
out he was not Puerto Rican, not a med student,
and quote donated a lot. My father is actually an
(10:01):
ashke Nazi Jewish Man who dropped out of college and
donated once a week for ten years. So far, I
have connected with my new siblings, seventeen of them, to
be exact, I'm the third oldest. One is six weeks
older than me, and another is less than twenty four
(10:21):
hours older than me. Oh my god. All of our
parents were lied to by the clinic we were created
in and told different stories about our father. We also
have many siblings that didn't know they were donor conceived
until they tested their DNA. Wait wait, wait, she said,
we all were lied to about the clinic, just like
told them all different stories about this dad. Who oh,
(10:43):
the clinic lie because don't you pick who you're getting
your sperm from? Guess and maybe not in those days.
Yeah you right, you flipped through a book and you're like,
this one looks nice. So they were lied to. Okay,
I see so many of them didn't know they were
donor conceived until they tested their DNA, which is so
important because we had a couple other people email in
(11:04):
like I thought I was one race and I'm another one,
and for you know, family health history, that's super important
to know. So great to have a bunch of white
racist find out that they're black, you know, or any
sort of minority do their twenty three in me and
be like, oh, whoopsie doodle looks like you know that.
Actually that actually kind of happened with one side of
(11:26):
my family besides you, and you're besides you and your heritage.
Of yes it there, of yes, is that Papa New
Guinea or Guinea? I think Guinea. I think just playing
Guine because otherwise you would be Papa New Gay in
which I like the sound of that. But no, this
side of the family, they had been. I mean they're
(11:47):
a little more open now, but I bet they are
sucking assholes. Yeah. Now, I mean to the point where,
like one of my uncles was dating a woman who
had a biracial child and they didn't want them to
get married. Like really a shitty stuff. And so we
found out a few years ago that we had this
(12:08):
ancestor who is you know, only a few great greats back,
but they were passing for white and you know, had
to sort of exist in the world in that way.
And turns out we all have that ancestry. So you know,
you learned some new things. Well, Kyle Elizabeth says, being
an entirely different race than previously thought changes our medical
(12:29):
history and that's incredibly important. Best, Kyle Elizabeth. So we
do have a caller calling in. Her name is Molly.
She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm in a very weird situation,
and I hope you can help. To start from the beginning,
my mother was told by my grandmother that her biological
father was a certain someone from their hometown and that
(12:50):
he had left when my grandmother found out she was pregnant.
This was fifty plus years ago. About five years ago,
my mom knowing that her biological father had died years prior,
decided that if she couldn't meet him, she'd like to
meet her siblings. She reached out to the oldest, a woman.
My new aunt had no idea her father had another child,
and took a little while to warm up to the idea,
(13:11):
but eventually they decided to meet. My mother asked me
to come with her as a buffer. I'm hilarious and friendly.
We all hit it off, and my new aunt was
thrilled to have a sister and my mother and a
new niece in me. We have made it a priority
to have Girl's Weekend at least once a year. Ever since,
I can't deny there were things that made us question
if we were in fact related to this family, but
(13:33):
mom and my new aunt were growing closer and closer.
Two years ago, while having dinner with my grandmother, my
mother asked her again and again, are you sure that
man is my father? There wasn't anyone else. After a while,
my grandmother shared that there was one other person who
it could be. After investigating and a DNA test, my
(13:53):
mother found she was in fact fathered by another person
and had an additional totally different sibling. So this like
nu aunt was like not an aunt at all. She's
just a random woman. The issue is, we have a
girl's weekend coming up with this new aunt. My mom
doesn't want to cancel, and also doesn't want to tell
her what she's found out. She fears because this formerly
(14:16):
nu aunt has little to no family, that this would
shatter her. I, on the other hand, feel like she
should be honest with her, not only because she should know,
but because I have a busy enough schedule as it is,
and finding time to do these trips has become difficult.
It's once a fucking year. What's so difficult about that?
I'll go on vacation with this woman to keep her happy?
(14:38):
What should I do? I don't feel like it's right
for me to break the news to the woman who's
no longer my aunt, but my mother won't help help. Chelsea, Hi, Molly,
how are you? Yeah? Were you nice? We're good, We're good.
We're just reading your submission, right. I just reread that
and saw all the typos, so sorry, it's all right.
(14:59):
Don't worry. I didn't see the typos, otherwise we wouldn't
be talking right now. Catherine reads all the submission, So
she takes care of that for us. Thank god. I
know where are you? Well, we can't give away her
precise location, but she is in the Midwest. Oh. I
was gonna say, it looks so pretty outside. I know
it is. It's like sunny and beautiful, nice, nice windows.
(15:21):
It's like the three days we have where it's it's
like pretty and yeah, and then it all goes to
hell in a handbasket, really does for the rest of
the year. So your new aunt, that's not really your aunt?
How old is she? I think like, and you feel
like and okay, So I have a couple of things
to say. How many times have you guys had your
(15:42):
girls weekends together? Like multiple? Okay? I mean they like
came to my wedding. I feel honestly, in this instance,
if this is making this woman happy, why take that
away from her? Like if she doesn't have a lot
of family and this gives her comfort and they've you've
developed this relationship. You saying that you're busy, like you said,
(16:03):
you go away on a week like once a year
with her, that's not that much you can suck that
up in the name of giving off good vibes to somebody,
and you know, like she doesn't need to know the truth.
It's not like it's going to have any impact, really
no good impact anyway, And so I don't know, I
just think of it as being I always like to
(16:23):
be honest about most things. But there's really no harm
being done, and it sounds like they've developed this really
nice relationship. And if your mom also feels like she
doesn't want to tell her, why burst her bubble? Well, right,
And I don't know if I would tell her without
my mom's permission or anything like that, but I just
feel weird about it. I don't know why. I just
(16:44):
feel weird about being dishonest. I feel like, if anything,
Mom just tell her. Hey, So, actually I found out
that we're not biologically related. I still want you in
my life, and I think that's fine, But I don't know,
there's kind of like this pressure on me anyway that
once a year doesn't sound like that big of a deal,
but it's always like something that we have to travel for.
(17:05):
And I don't know. I would look at it as
like your community service, you know what I mean. I
would look at it as a gift that you're giving
to another person, because yeah, if your mom does decide
to be honest with her, that's her prerogative and like, great,
and yes, of course you can continue a relationship with
her without being biologically related. But I don't think you
should let it bother you that much, you know what
I mean. You're not fronting this, you're not being You're
(17:27):
not in charge of the relationship, you know, and it's
giving people pleasure. I don't know, I don't feel strongly
about the dishonesty of it. Okay, okay, yeah, And that's
what my mom stances us too. She was like, she
needs us, she loves us. I don't know, I'm just
an asshole. No, well, yeah, what about we are? So
are you now? Is your mom gonna go find the
(17:47):
other one? So they've talked and the father is alive
and he has her contact information and it's like the
balls in his courtground. Wow, so her your mother father
is alive? Yes? Oh interesting twist? Well right, And so
that's another thing my mom my mom is like so
(18:09):
fearful that my new aunt is going to be furious
with my grandmother, who was just having fun is an
eighteen year old like whatever, and couldn't name who were
the father of her baby was and she so she
was like, so weorried that this new aunt is going
to be upset that you know, they like went through
all of this, but like you said, maybe she wouldn't
(18:30):
because of the relationships that we've made upset. Yeah, I
think it sounds like a nice relationship. I don't know,
some people need you. There are a lot of people
in our lives that aren't family, but our family. I
know in my life there were always people either living
with us or who were just very close friends, who
were kind of always around for a long time or
(18:51):
a period of time, and we can sort of them
like family. I like to think of that, and like
a lot of people in my life, like I just
feel like, oh they need me. I'm there for them
because that's my giving back giving to someone. And so
I think look at it like that, don't worry about
the morality of the lie because you're not doing anything bad.
It feels like a white lie. Yeah, well, big white lie,
(19:12):
A big white lie. I would you say, you know,
if this grandfather of yours contact your mother, you better
open up your travel schedule, sister, because it looks like
you're gonna have a lot more trips coming up. I know. Well, luckily,
I'm pretty sure he's in the same state, so okay,
oh that's great. The other family, the new not family,
(19:34):
is somewhere else. I'm like, just think about it as
pretty funny. Actually, if you think about it, it would
make a really good sort of story. You know, you've
participating in a fake relationship for the next fifteen years.
We'll have to like sit with our parents sometimes when
they're like with their friends, and maybe think of it
(19:54):
that way. It's your mom's friend, so I do. I
guess that's maybe why I've been dragging my feet because
I'm like, Okay, I have another sister who like doesn't
have to do these things, and it's only because she's
not as fun as me. And I'm like, mom, why
do you sometimes like take her take somebody else? But
but that's the burden you carry by being fun, you
(20:15):
know what I mean, You're carry more responsibility, it really is. Yeah,
so suck it up. I guess I'll make people laugh
and feel loved. All right, Well, thanks for calling in,
Thank you so much. Enjoy your sunny weather. Thank you
all right, by ladies, She's exhausted from being fun. I'm sure.
(20:40):
You feel this way a lot too, because it is
hard to be the fun one in the group all
the time, you know, sometimes you just want to be Yeah,
sometimes you're just like, fuck off. That's when my New
Jersey comes out, fuck off. Did you have to overcome
an accent? Uh? Yeah, I mean sometimes I have an
accent and I say all our talk or something of that,
(21:01):
drinking especially, it comes out interesting. But no, I didn't
have a bad New Jersey accent. No, but my brother does.
One of my brothers, which is weird. Yeah, it's like
randomly has Mormon accent. Well. Our next email comes from Sylvan.
Sylvan says, my story is a little different. And then
I knew that my biological father had another family. My
entire life. It had been made clear to me that
(21:23):
both he and his wife didn't want my mother or
me intruding on their perfect families lives. This caused me
a great deal of pain and affected how I felt
about myself for as long as I can remember. In
two thousand five, shortly after Hurricane Katrina, I briefly got
in touch with my father and stepfather. I also met
an emailed most of my siblings. One of my half
sisters told me her version of the story that she
(21:45):
had found a baby picture of me and had been
shocked when her mother told her I existed. However, we
really never got to know each other because of the
geographic distance. A couple of weeks ago, my half sister
facebooked me to let me know she'd be passing through
my area and asked if I would her, her boyfriend,
and my two year old niece for dinner. I eagerly
agreed and couldn't believe it when they told me they
(22:06):
were planning to sleep in their car that night. I
insisted that they come to my place, and we had
the start of a good conversation, but it wasn't enough
time to really start unpacking our separate histories and our
desire to know each other. They unfortunately had to keep
driving back to Louisiana and I needed to get to
work the next day. I want to get to know
my family, but I'm so afraid of doing or saying
the wrong thing. I'm wondering if you have any ideas
(22:28):
of how we can try to get to know each other,
Whether we can start in the present, or if the
only way to proceed is to address the past. Chelsea,
I know you're a compassionate person and you're also a
lot braver than me, So I'm reaching out to you
about this. I'm attaching a picture of me, my sister,
her boyfriend, and their daughter. Thanks for any advice you
can offer. Sylvan, Oh, that is sweet. Yeah. I mean,
(22:50):
I don't think you have to rehash the past, especially
if it's uncomfortable for any of anybody. It's about being related, right,
It's about having a blood relation and then working off
of that and building off of that. And I think
that you should start from the present and just getting
to know each other, and you know, not being overbearing
(23:11):
about it, but being giving people space to warm up
to the idea, and also just being available for when
there is space and meeting the moment when the appropriate
moments arise, and also just keeping an open door letting
them know that you're always available. They're welcome to stay
with you if you're comfortable with that and getting to
know them in that way. But yeah, I guess I
(23:33):
wouldn't push it too hard. Yeah, I think it's just
a natural progression. You know, it's not something you can
like instantly change and have a relationship with someone like
that when there's that kind of history, but it's obviously
so many people do it, so like use that as
your compass, like it's been done so many times, where
people can have relationships with other family members they hadn't
(23:56):
known about or had it known about them, or you know,
all of the circle stances that are kind of encapsulated
in these kinds of things. Yeah, I agree. I think
I would treat it just like you're getting to know anybody,
just like a normal friendship. Of course, you're going to
touch on like where did you go to high school?
And what was your favorite type of music, those sorts
of things from the past. But I don't necessarily think
unless she brings it up, it's necessary to like really
(24:19):
dive into family drama stuff. Just treat it like a
normal friendship. And I also think this is sort of
echoing what Chelsea said, but sort of bite sized interactions
might be good so that you can like have a
little time together, maybe go to dinner or coffee, and
then like you know, maybe in a few weeks or
a month you see them again, depending on how far
(24:40):
away they live. Yeah, yeah, take it slow, Yeah, take
it slow, just like you're getting to know anybody, But
I do think there's an interesting connection that sisters can have,
and it's really exciting that you got to meet a
niece as well. Very cute little baby niece. While Sylvan,
let us know how it goes, and thank you for
emailing in. Our next question comes from Katie. Katie says,
(25:03):
Dear Chelsea. About two years ago, my dad told me
that when he was a teenager, one of my uncles
had a baby that got put up for adoption. No
one in the family knows about this. This past spring,
my dad's youngest sister did twenty three and me and
found a DNA match with a woman that puts her
in the realm of a niece. No one in the
family said anything about this, but my dad is positive
(25:25):
this is the daughter that was put up for adoption.
My uncle went on to Mary and have three kids,
one of whom is my cousin who I'm very close
with and I consider her a sister. I'm going to
be a bridesmaid in her wedding in a few weeks,
and I'm wondering if you think I should tell her
about this half sister she has. On the one hand,
I feel guilty keeping something so big from her. On
the other hand, I don't want to be the one
that spills the beans and causes the family drama, especially
(25:48):
right before her wedding. I don't know if it's necessarily
my place to tell her. What are your thoughts and advice?
Katie Hi, Katie Hi? Chelseae? How are you good? How
are you her good? Thanks? So when does the wedding?
It's in a week and a half now, so it's
coming up. Yeah. I definitely would not tell her before
(26:08):
the wedding. Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea
because the half sister is a big deal. And I
don't know, Katherine, what do you think, Like, I don't
know if that's your place to tell her. Is there
anyone else in the family who feels like a natural
fit for the person to tell her, Like, maybe it's
your dad, maybe it's the uncle sort of thing. Yeah,
(26:30):
So it's funny you mentioned that because my dad has
been meaning to have a conversation with the uncle, especially
since my aunt found out about this on the DNA thing,
got it, So, but they haven't had that conversation yet. Yeah,
I would encourage them to have that conversation after the
wedding and after everything's died down, I would encourage your
(26:51):
dad to do it, and you know, and also let
him know, like if he doesn't, you will. I like,
I like the threatening people. I think that's a great approach.
That's a good tactic. Yeah, it's just threatened them into action. No,
but I mean I understand like it can feel a little,
you know, guilt inducing to you're so close with her
and you have this enormous secret that you know, you
(27:12):
just probably is at the front of your brain all
the time when you're talking to her lately. But are
you in the wedding? I am, Yeah, I'm a bridesmaid.
Oh that's wonderful. That's wonderful. It is annoying to know,
like I don't like that burden that you know, something
that she doesn't like. That's not fair either, you know.
And that's what you have to impress upon your father
(27:32):
that that's why he's got to like pull the trigger
and have the conversation either with his brother or with
your cousin. Yeah. I think it's good to push them,
but like let them get through the honeymoon and everything
first and get settled. And one thing about these sorts
of revelations is that they seem urgent, but they're actually
(27:53):
not as time sensitive as we maybe think that they are.
I know, when my dad found out that the man
he thought was his dad was not his biological father,
he actually figured it out on his own and went
back out into the other room where his family was
and didn't say a word. And in fact, he didn't
say a word to my mom for a full year
(28:15):
because he needed time to process things and deal with
this new information in this new discovery before he could
really like talk to other people about it. And I
know the situation is a little bit different than that.
But you know, this information feels so big because it
is such a big thing, but it's not actually something
that's super super urgent. Right. That's a good point. But
(28:37):
we're also talking about men, and men take a much
longer time to process things than women. We're like fax
machines and they're like fucking meat lockers. I guess that
is true. Have a good time at that. That sounds fine, Yeah, absolutely,
Thanks for joining us. Keep us posted. M okay. Dear Chelsea, Hello,
(29:06):
when I heard you were looking for people who done
genetic testing and ended up with a unique finding, I
started laughing out loud. I was adopted at birth by
the doctor who delivered me. His best friend at the
time was an attorney, and hey, it was seventy three,
so I guess that's just how ship got done. Anyhow,
I always knew I was adopted, and don't ever remember
(29:26):
being sat down for the talk. It was just common
knowledge in my family, no big deal. I didn't really
think much of it until one night my dad was
bourbon drunk and told me my birth mother's name. I
was probably about ten at the time and never forgot it.
I always wondered what my birth parents were like, what
kind of music they listened to, was it a one
night stand, etcetera. Flash forward to the day I decided
to take a twenty three and me test. I spit
(29:48):
into the test tube, which took me a couple hours
to fill because it was fucking gross and I kept gagging.
As a nurse, I'd rather have someone vomit on me
than deal with flegm and spit. But hey, we all
have our thing. It's weird that it took her that
long to do it, because I was able to do
this in like five minutes, and I have no patience
for anything. Yes, she's a nurse. I'm a barbacologist. I'm
(30:10):
a guynecologist, as you spent right and to that too.
I it took me, like, I don't know, maybe ten
fifteen moves to like get this because you haven't had
anything to drink, so you're kind of dry, brad like
filled it all the way up and want ago horrified
and impressed. But so then she says, a few weeks later,
(30:33):
I got an email and my results were in within days.
My biological aunt reached out to me. She was convinced
I was a child of her other sister she had
three and told me all about when I was born
in this big, dramatic story that didn't align with what
my parents had told me. Again it was the seventies.
She also said that I would not be hearing from
my birth mother because she wasn't in great health mentally
(30:53):
or physically. I was a bit shocked, but relieved. I
didn't want to have a big, weird reunion. Then she
told me about another child. I had an older brother,
so she reached out to him to see if he
wanted to connect. She sent me his name and number,
and I nervously planned to text him the next day.
It sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. I
was laying in bed that night and almost asleep when
(31:15):
I suddenly sat up in bed and realized, Oh, my
fucking god, that's the guy I met at Jason Davidson's
party in high school and drunkenly made out with on
Jason's mom's new couch. But then I somehow talked myself
out of it being the same guy, even though his
last name is not very common. It's fine, it's fine,
it's fine. The next day I texted him and I
just said, hey, there, this is crazy but pretty interesting.
(31:38):
If you ever want to catch up, let me know. Immediately,
the three dots pop up and I wanted to die.
He texted, I'm available right now if you are so.
I paced around saying funk like seventeen times and just
called him. You know when you can hear in someone's
voice that they're smiling so uncomfortably and awkwardly because they
have no idea what to do, That's how Chad sounded.
(31:59):
I asked stuff we had friends in commons since we
went to rival high schools, and he simply blurted out
Jason Davidson is my best friend. And then we both
sat in silence for what seemed like forever, and then
I blurted out, oh, my God, did we make out
at that party? He uncomfortably said, yeah, we did, and
I asked, oh Jesus, was that all God? He reassured
(32:23):
me that that was all we did. The next few
weeks consisted of us calling each other and just laughing
uncomfortably on the phone together. He told his wife, who
thought it was hilarious, and we both did as well.
Turns out, he was born almost three hours away from
our hometown, was adopted and brought back to live about
four miles away from me. One summer in high school,
we had both loosely hung around in the same circle
(32:46):
of people. It was so bizarre. We finally did meet
up and have a beer when he came back to
our hometown to visit at Christmas. Thank god his wife
came to break the ice. We had a great time
and both decided that even though it was super weird
to say, things really couldn't have turned out better because
we already knew each other and didn't have to worry
about some crazy half siblings showing up in the middle
of the night asking for money. If you're still reading this,
(33:08):
thank you. I tried for brevity, but it didn't happen.
I now refer to Chad as my makeout brother because
it sounds hilarious and inappropriate. He wasn't even a very
good kisser from what I remember, thank god. But don't
tell his wife that. Take care Hillary, You know what, Hillary,
Not a lot of people can talk about what kind
of kiss are their brother is, so Maltov, that's a
(33:30):
pretty funny story. You know. It's funny when you said
did anything more happen? It's like, you know, thank goodness,
you didn't have sex with your brother. I mean right, yeah,
thank goodness, because that is disgusting and making out is
who gives a ship about that? You know, Like, I mean,
there are I would rather make out with my brother
over some men that are out there, you know. So yeah,
that's a that's a funny story. It's funny that it
(33:52):
didn't lead to anything else. That's almost like the universe
protecting you, especially in moments when you're drunk and you
don't remember and and things don't take that course. It's
almost like you have like a fairy godmother or some
someone upstairs looking at for you don't Yeah, isn't it?
Is it Iceland where they all have to have sex
(34:13):
with each other? Basically is the capital of Iceland, And
that's what Wait? Is it Iceland? Where? What? Where they
have to where they have to like follow a registry
so they make sure they don't marry their own cousins.
I think it is. They're beautiful in Iceland, so it
would be hard not to have sex with everybody, even
if you're related. Yeah. Well that's a recurring theme on
this shows, you know, making out with relatives and on
(34:36):
Game of Thrones and on Game of Thrones, I mean,
no spoilers, but just getting pretty hot this season. Are
you watching the new one? Oh? Oh, I haven't watched
it yet. Yeah. I mean it's it's good. I'm ready
for it to get even better. But I'm sticking with it.
I'm sticking with it. My sister started watching the original
Game of Thrones and she just started watching that and
(34:56):
she was telling me about it and she's like, what's
your favorite part. I'm like, all, I'm members the incest,
Like that's the one thing that I just cannot get
passed about that show. And I don't know that. I'm
if it grossed me out or I liked it, because
I'm like, why is that the one memory I have
of that show? It's like sticks out more than anything
is the incests. I mean, one of the most exciting
parts is where like two people who are related finally
(35:19):
hook up and you're like, yeah, oh God, brought to
you by So our next email comes from Lori. Lori says,
love the show listen every week. I found out at
forty seven via twenty three and me Kit that I
did for fun that I was not my dad's biological child.
(35:42):
Long story short, my parents used a sperm donor and
kept it a secret. I've since discovered multiple donor siblings
or quote dipplings dim sum let's just call them dim Sum,
and I'm quite close to two of them. In fact,
we're having our first dibbling meet up and us a
couple of weeks. I'm very nervous to meet them in person,
(36:03):
despite the fact that we text each other every day.
My half sister in particular looks just like me, and
I'm scared it will freak me out in person. I
crave closeness with them. They're not strangers, but more than friends,
but not quite actual siblings. It's all very confusing. I've
also had to grapple with learning that my medical history
was not what I thought it was, specifically that there's
(36:24):
alcoholism and mental health issues on my paternal side that
I was completely unaware of. Unfortunately, I'm seeing some of
those issues play out with my older daughter, who's fifteen.
How should I make sense of these new relationships and
what do you think I should expect? Lorie? Oh? I,
first of all, I think that this is so exciting.
You already have a good attitude, and they're gonna be
(36:45):
just as nervous as you are, Laurie. Like, if your
sister half sister looks so much like you, you also
look so much like her. She's thinking the same thing,
and it's gonna be weird for both of you. But like,
what a great opportunity. And you know, I mean, I'm
sorry about the mental health and alcoholism. A marker that
comes up. I do think it runs in family. Oh,
I don't know that it's like specifically a marker, but yeah,
(37:07):
it's it's genetic because it doesn't run in my family,
so I must have started it. Um. But and that's
why I'm not reproducing, but I'm sorry to hear about
that aspect of things. But also that's not insurmountable either.
I know that you said she's having trouble with her
own daughter. Actually, you know what, having these relationships with
your half siblings may shed some light on all of
this for you because they may have had some experiences
(37:27):
that are similar with their own children or more of
your you know, diblings may have had that same experience.
So it would be it's good to have that cohort,
you know, where you guys can discuss it together and
and maybe like share your experience and glean some knowledge
from that. But I think this is a great opportunity.
And yeah, it's totally normal to be nervous. Nervous means
you care, that's good. Yeah. My dad always says, like
(37:50):
when he was growing up, he was different than what
he now knows are his half siblings, um, and he
just thought he was very unique and totally his own person.
And then when he met his other half siblings when
he was in his twenties, he was like, I am,
it's it's all. It's all nature. It's all like even
the way we held our mugs, like our coffee mugs
(38:11):
was the same. They look the same, Like, my one
uncle is literally my dad but with red hair, completely
the same. Yeah, it's amazing. There was this Time magazine
cover years ago about twins where it talked about it
found like successive twins that were separated at birth, and
like there was one set of twins that were both
truck drivers. They were both married to a woman with
the same first name. They both named their baby the
(38:33):
same first name. They both watched the same television shows.
They were identical twins, and you're like, holy shit, it's
so crazy. I find twins. Yeah, and that's so fascinating
the difference between fraternal twins and yeah, yeah, my two
cousins are identical twins. And they decided they wanted to
(38:53):
like not do the twin thing in college, so they
didn't talk to each other at all about what they
wanted to major in or where they wanted to go.
They're like refused because they were like, let's go bear
on people. And of course they both wanted to be nurses,
and they picked the same college, so one of them
had to, like, you know, they decided for the benefit
of being their own people, one of them would go
to the second choice college. But I know, I know.
(39:18):
How do you decide which one gets the second choice?
I don't know. I would just say stick together. Who
gives a ship like each other? Stick together? Yeah, they're
both cool. Well. Our last email comes from Kra Dear Chelsea,
I had a sneaking suspicion and fear that my parents
might be related when my mom told me the story
of how right after I was born, she had my
(39:39):
baby book open filling in the family tree. Both my
grandma's were there with her. When she asked, okay, great
great grandmother, they said the same name. Turns out or
fourth cousins don't share that much d n A whoopsie doodle.
Now that we know I'm fairly normal, I can joke
about this. I'm fifty three years old and just fine.
(39:59):
We also discovered that one of my great uncle's apparently
had a baby with a woman we didn't know about.
We're now in touch with that new side of the family.
And she came to your show at the Mountain Winery.
She said, I can't wait to see Chelsea tonight for
the first time at the Mountain Winery. I think she'll
truly love it there. I mean, it's a concert venue
on a mountain with a winery. What could be better? Kara,
I love these happy endings. It would be nice if
(40:21):
everybody just had this happy attitude. I know it's not
easy for everybody to have a good outlook towards it
because sometimes it involves cheating and secrets and lies, so
that adds a layer of you know, betrayal and drama. Yeah. Yeah,
but it would be nice to just kind of accept
what the reality is because like to think about all
the connections people get to make, and like the new
(40:42):
family members, and when you have a positive outlook towards it,
you can like act in love and kindness with new people,
and and then you have another person you know in
your corner and you can be in someone's corner. It's
nice when there's a happy response. Yeah, and blood, I
do think is thicker than water, Like they're just is
something something different with a cousin or a sibling that
(41:03):
you have that you know, even sometimes it might be awkward,
but you relate to them in a way that you
can't relate to any new friend. I think one of
the really interesting things that I heard when I was
researching this episode was the founder of twenty three and Me.
She said, basically, everybody's got some mystery person in their
lineage here, there, wherever. But she said life is long,
(41:25):
and people enjoy sex, so everybody's just a random person
out there in their family. Yeah, some people enjoy sex,
and some people like masturbating and then artificially seminating the
wrong women, So that's not really sex, but that's also
sadistic in a sick way. Six six six. Some people
are sick, they don't forget that part. Yes, And some
(41:46):
people like to make up with their own brothers. Yeah. Yeah,
well some people accidentally make up with their own brothers,
Like we should say, that's true, Chelsea. This was I
think a very fun episode and we had there. Honestly,
there were so many other emails we couldn't even get to,
but it was pretty exciting to learn some different things.
Yeah yeah, yeah, so I I yeah, I mean, why
wouldn't anybody get this testing done? I mean, it just
(42:08):
gives you more information. Even if you don't want to
do the genealogy part, just do the health part so
you can find out what you have a propensity for.
Here's a question, would you so this is a separate
thing that you would have to like upload your results too.
It's separate from twenty three and me. But there is
a program called jet match where you can upload your
DNA that you've received two help with solving crimes. Is
(42:32):
that something that you would ever do? Well? What does
that mean? Exactly? Like so, so basically it helps law
enforcement like whittled down it. Let's say they have DNA
from a rapist or a murderer, and you submit your DNA.
It might not be like your uncle, but it might
be your second cousin once removed, and that helps law
enforcement build family trees to help solve crimes. Oh yeah,
(42:55):
of course I would do that. I think I'm going
to do it. Oh you are, Okay, so would a
true crime and that sort of thing. I think I
just have to make sure I haven't done anything like that.
You know, I don't want to murder. I mean, I've
wanted to murder so many people, but I've never pulled
the trigger, so to speak. But who knows what my
family has been sucking up to. But this would be
(43:16):
a good way to pin everybody in a corner exactly
exactly amen to that. Yeah, okay, well this has been
a very informative, very nice, lighthearted episode. Yes, thanks for
writing in everybody. Thank you guys. We'll see you next
week or you'll hear us by Okay, so my stand
up dates, I have some dates coming up in California
(43:36):
October one, I'm Impassa Robels and then I'm in Vegas
at the Mirage Saturday October and then Wheatland, California October
and then you can go to Chelsea Hamler dot com
for more dates when I'll be performing. And uh yeah,
that's pretty much what's happening right now. So if you'd
like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at
(43:59):
Dear Chelsea project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is
a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stump,
produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.
Hi, Catherine, Hi, Chelsea Hi. Tell USA. Today, we teamed
up with twenty three in Me and we're doing a
very special episode with them. We're gonna talk about some
of the discoveries we made as far as our health
reports and our ancestry goes. We're going to talk to
some colors and answer some advice emails. We had so
(00:23):
many crazy responses. This is gonna be so much fun. Yes,
we both did our twenty three in Me and to
find out, it covers a bevy of things, right, your ancestry,
your health markers, if you have a slightly increased risk
for something or increased likelihood, or if there's a variant detected,
or if you have irritable bowel syndrome, which apparently there's
(00:45):
an increased likelihood that I will have that. And that's
my result summary irritable bowel syndrome. That explains a lot. Actually,
is that something you feel like you have? I don't know.
I mean I've had episodes. I'm not sure I have
LDL lesterral increased likelihood. I definitely have an issue with that.
It says I have a slightly increased risk for Celiac disease,
(01:07):
but I was comparing my results with my sisters this
weekend in San Francisco, and I was under the impression.
When we were in Mariamorica, we were talking about how
much Ashkenazi jew I was, what the percentage of Ashkenazi
jew I was, and I remember the number sixty four percent.
And then when I told Simone that, she says, that's
impossible because our father was Jewish and our mother was
(01:29):
Western European. And I was like, no, I'm sixty And
then when I pulled up my results on my app, it'
said fifty percent Oshkenazi. So I want to know who
put that sixty into my head or where I read
that number. Yeah, I I also wonder, I mean, can
your ratios be a little bit different for siblings of
their full siblings? Well, you can't get sixty four percent.
(01:50):
When I realized form my sisters that you can't get
sixty percent Oshknazzi from one parent when the other parents,
it's like straight down the middle fifty fifty. So the
g is meat and then whichever the stronger genes are
the dominant gene, we'll take over. But you're never going
to get more than fift from one parent, is the
(02:11):
way that. My sister explained it to me. She's a
health attorney and works for Genentech, so I'm gonna I'm
gonna believe her. I mean, I don't know that that's right,
but I think that makes sense because we were both
exactly Fiftysnazi. But I had different sides of my mother
than she did. I have like part Scandinavian and part German,
(02:33):
and more German than she has, which explains my good looks.
I was actually pretty surprised by mine. I thought I
definitely take after my like the side of my family
that's very British, very Irish, I'm very fair, have a
little British turned up nose, all of that kind of stuff.
But I was actually surprised to find I'm very heavily German,
(02:54):
which I knew, but also French, which I guess that's
a nice little touch. Yeah, that makes me feel fancy.
I'm like a little bit French. French is good. I
thought I was Safartic Jewish, which doesn't make any sense
at all, because, as my sister also explained to me,
Ashkenazi are like lighter skinned and you know, more blonde hair,
(03:16):
blue eyed, where Safartic is darker skinned, dark hair, dark eyes,
and so I don't know why I had that confusion. Also, well,
because you got all that German blood, So maybe that's
where the blonde and everything that comes from, right, I
mean it wouldn't be great though, like to do it
and find out you have like ten percent Japanese or
something like that would be something like WHOA, I have
(03:38):
a very small percent of Senegambian and Guinean. So I
think that's black. Yeah, that's African. And I do know
that I have one ancestor who was like several generations back,
who was passing quote unquote as they used to say,
for white, both he and his sister, and so that's
(04:01):
part of our ancestry. And I thought that was really interesting.
It's like, Okay, it's actually real, it's true. Wow, that
it is cool. I think it's interesting that you can
test for things like irritable bowel syndrome, like that's a
genetic marker. I would not have thought that, Like I
get the cholesterol, I get heart disease. Did you what
about the bcr age a gene? Then mine did not
(04:25):
show that. And this test it tests for a couple
of the variants that you know lead to the b
R C aging, but not all of them. So you know,
one of the things they said is if you do
see stuff like that, go talk to your doctor and
like check that out. I have also, this is a
good one to highlight increased likelihood for gout. That sounds
(04:48):
about right. That sounds like something I would come across
and at some point in my life I just associate
gout with like Henry the Eighth and like eating a
lot of roast chicken. This one says drug metabolism predicted
rapid metabolizer. That makes a lot of fun. I mean,
that is very on the nose. I had something. I
(05:12):
have a slightly increased risk for macular degeneration, which makes
sense with my family history. Oh yeah, I have that too,
And I think that's just isn't that age related? Like
most people have that? Yeah, But you know, it's this
sort of thing that makes it a little easier to say, like, Okay,
here's something for me to watch out for, here's something
to talk to my my eye doctor about, and that
(05:32):
sort of thing. I was less likely to have a
fear of public speaking. I thought that was interesting. Are
you serious the stuff that it's crazy? Yeah? Do you
have a fear of public speaking. Uh not really, no, oh,
here he is speaking to us. And then you can
also find your Neanderthal and do you have some Well,
(05:54):
let's look. I bet that makes a lot of sense too.
I sometimes feel like a Neanderthal. You have ship. Hey, Chelsea,
you have more Neandrethal DNA than of other customers. What
the fund does that mean? I have more Neanderthal than
Thank god? Okay, okay, so I'm on the lower end
of Neandrethal here, let's remember that. Okay, okay, okay. I
(06:18):
inherited a small amount of DNA from your Neandrethal ancestors.
Out of the seven thousand, four hundred variants we tested,
we found two hundred and twenty variants in your DNA
that traced back to Neadrethal's. Wow, I know. Brad's markers
said something along the lines of his bloodline could be
traced back to a single male two hundred and fifty
thousand years ago, like single males. Well, obviously there was
(06:43):
a woman involved after that, but like they could trace
his lineage back two hundred and fifty thousand years I
don't know how, wow, but they did. That's it's crazy.
You know what I just can't believe that so many
people are able to I guess you can opt to
be public on this right and way. I have an
increased likelihood for roseatsia. That's true. My whole family has rosasia.
(07:05):
Actually not my whole family, but both of my brothers
have it. Oh, here was another very interesting one from Brad's.
So Brad by trade as a drummer. He's a musician.
He's also constantly shaking his leg, just like when we're
sitting at the dinner table. I always think there is
a random earthquake. He has a gene that is common
(07:26):
in people who have fast twitch muscle fibers, So it's
like he was born to be an amazing drummer. That's like,
is that restless legs syndrome also? Or no, maybe it's related.
It said something about the muscle fibers and the way
that it's common in people who are athletes and runners
(07:47):
and that kind of stuff. Mine says I have an
increased likelihood for resting bitch face. Wow, they can tell
so much. That's amazing. Do either of you have the
increased likelihood to hate the sound of chewing? No, that's
the thing I can hate that what's it called misoponia?
(08:10):
That is a really gross sound chewing that's in one
of my results. It's amazing, that's so funny. I can't
believe they can measure things like that and that or
that that stuff is genetic. I mean it should should
be measurable. What about the sound of forks and knife
scraping on a plate. That's worse than chewing, but usually
(08:30):
the to go hands in hand. Katherine's dad likes to
cut his eggs with a steak knife. So yeah, so
it's just like it's terrible, it's terrible, so annoying. Yes,
but Chelsea, we actually have a ton of amazing questions
for today. We're callers some emails. I had the hardest
(08:52):
time picking which emails to use. Yeah, we did a
call for submissions for twenty three and me or you know,
other genetic testing things people found out, and we've got
some crazy responses. So should we launch in after Yeah,
we'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.
(09:14):
All right, Chelsea, are you ready for some email? We bean? So.
Our first email comes from Kyle Elizabeth. She says, good morning.
My name is Kyle Elizabeth. I'm a thirty two year
old woman living in Austin, Texas. I was gifted a
twenty three and me test in October, and when the
results came back, the surprises started. I'm the child of
(09:37):
lesbian mothers, so I've known since I was eleven that
my father was a sperm donor. But I was told
that he was Puerto Rican and in med school at
the time he donated. I was also told that he
had only donated enough for one family, mine, so I
was the only child created with his seamen. Well turns
out he was not Puerto Rican, not a med student,
and quote donated a lot. My father is actually an
(10:01):
ashke Nazi Jewish Man who dropped out of college and
donated once a week for ten years. So far, I
have connected with my new siblings, seventeen of them, to
be exact, I'm the third oldest. One is six weeks
older than me, and another is less than twenty four
(10:21):
hours older than me. Oh my god. All of our
parents were lied to by the clinic we were created
in and told different stories about our father. We also
have many siblings that didn't know they were donor conceived
until they tested their DNA. Wait wait, wait, she said,
we all were lied to about the clinic, just like
told them all different stories about this dad. Who oh,
(10:43):
the clinic lie because don't you pick who you're getting
your sperm from? Guess and maybe not in those days.
Yeah you right, you flipped through a book and you're like,
this one looks nice. So they were lied to. Okay,
I see so many of them didn't know they were
donor conceived until they tested their DNA, which is so
important because we had a couple other people email in
(11:04):
like I thought I was one race and I'm another one,
and for you know, family health history, that's super important
to know. So great to have a bunch of white
racist find out that they're black, you know, or any
sort of minority do their twenty three in me and
be like, oh, whoopsie doodle looks like you know that.
Actually that actually kind of happened with one side of
(11:26):
my family besides you, and you're besides you and your heritage.
Of yes it there, of yes, is that Papa New
Guinea or Guinea? I think Guinea. I think just playing
Guine because otherwise you would be Papa New Gay in
which I like the sound of that. But no, this
side of the family, they had been. I mean they're
(11:47):
a little more open now, but I bet they are
sucking assholes. Yeah. Now, I mean to the point where,
like one of my uncles was dating a woman who
had a biracial child and they didn't want them to
get married. Like really a shitty stuff. And so we
found out a few years ago that we had this
(12:08):
ancestor who is you know, only a few great greats back,
but they were passing for white and you know, had
to sort of exist in the world in that way.
And turns out we all have that ancestry. So you know,
you learned some new things. Well, Kyle Elizabeth says, being
an entirely different race than previously thought changes our medical
(12:29):
history and that's incredibly important. Best, Kyle Elizabeth. So we
do have a caller calling in. Her name is Molly.
She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm in a very weird situation,
and I hope you can help. To start from the beginning,
my mother was told by my grandmother that her biological
father was a certain someone from their hometown and that
(12:50):
he had left when my grandmother found out she was pregnant.
This was fifty plus years ago. About five years ago,
my mom knowing that her biological father had died years prior,
decided that if she couldn't meet him, she'd like to
meet her siblings. She reached out to the oldest, a woman.
My new aunt had no idea her father had another child,
and took a little while to warm up to the idea,
(13:11):
but eventually they decided to meet. My mother asked me
to come with her as a buffer. I'm hilarious and friendly.
We all hit it off, and my new aunt was
thrilled to have a sister and my mother and a
new niece in me. We have made it a priority
to have Girl's Weekend at least once a year. Ever since,
I can't deny there were things that made us question
if we were in fact related to this family, but
(13:33):
mom and my new aunt were growing closer and closer.
Two years ago, while having dinner with my grandmother, my
mother asked her again and again, are you sure that
man is my father? There wasn't anyone else. After a while,
my grandmother shared that there was one other person who
it could be. After investigating and a DNA test, my
(13:53):
mother found she was in fact fathered by another person
and had an additional totally different sibling. So this like
nu aunt was like not an aunt at all. She's
just a random woman. The issue is, we have a
girl's weekend coming up with this new aunt. My mom
doesn't want to cancel, and also doesn't want to tell
her what she's found out. She fears because this formerly
(14:16):
nu aunt has little to no family, that this would
shatter her. I, on the other hand, feel like she
should be honest with her, not only because she should know,
but because I have a busy enough schedule as it is,
and finding time to do these trips has become difficult.
It's once a fucking year. What's so difficult about that?
I'll go on vacation with this woman to keep her happy?
(14:38):
What should I do? I don't feel like it's right
for me to break the news to the woman who's
no longer my aunt, but my mother won't help help. Chelsea, Hi, Molly,
how are you? Yeah? Were you nice? We're good, We're good.
We're just reading your submission, right. I just reread that
and saw all the typos, so sorry, it's all right.
(14:59):
Don't worry. I didn't see the typos, otherwise we wouldn't
be talking right now. Catherine reads all the submission, So
she takes care of that for us. Thank god. I
know where are you? Well, we can't give away her
precise location, but she is in the Midwest. Oh. I
was gonna say, it looks so pretty outside. I know
it is. It's like sunny and beautiful, nice, nice windows.
(15:21):
It's like the three days we have where it's it's
like pretty and yeah, and then it all goes to
hell in a handbasket, really does for the rest of
the year. So your new aunt, that's not really your aunt?
How old is she? I think like, and you feel
like and okay, So I have a couple of things
to say. How many times have you guys had your
(15:42):
girls weekends together? Like multiple? Okay? I mean they like
came to my wedding. I feel honestly, in this instance,
if this is making this woman happy, why take that
away from her? Like if she doesn't have a lot
of family and this gives her comfort and they've you've
developed this relationship. You saying that you're busy, like you said,
(16:03):
you go away on a week like once a year
with her, that's not that much you can suck that
up in the name of giving off good vibes to somebody,
and you know, like she doesn't need to know the truth.
It's not like it's going to have any impact, really
no good impact anyway, And so I don't know, I
just think of it as being I always like to
(16:23):
be honest about most things. But there's really no harm
being done, and it sounds like they've developed this really
nice relationship. And if your mom also feels like she
doesn't want to tell her, why burst her bubble? Well, right,
And I don't know if I would tell her without
my mom's permission or anything like that, but I just
feel weird about it. I don't know why. I just
(16:44):
feel weird about being dishonest. I feel like, if anything,
Mom just tell her. Hey, So, actually I found out
that we're not biologically related. I still want you in
my life, and I think that's fine, But I don't know,
there's kind of like this pressure on me anyway that
once a year doesn't sound like that big of a deal,
but it's always like something that we have to travel for.
(17:05):
And I don't know. I would look at it as
like your community service, you know what I mean. I
would look at it as a gift that you're giving
to another person, because yeah, if your mom does decide
to be honest with her, that's her prerogative and like, great,
and yes, of course you can continue a relationship with
her without being biologically related. But I don't think you
should let it bother you that much, you know what
I mean. You're not fronting this, you're not being You're
(17:27):
not in charge of the relationship, you know, and it's
giving people pleasure. I don't know, I don't feel strongly
about the dishonesty of it. Okay, okay, yeah, And that's
what my mom stances us too. She was like, she
needs us, she loves us. I don't know, I'm just
an asshole. No, well, yeah, what about we are? So
are you now? Is your mom gonna go find the
(17:47):
other one? So they've talked and the father is alive
and he has her contact information and it's like the
balls in his courtground. Wow, so her your mother father
is alive? Yes? Oh interesting twist? Well right, And so
that's another thing my mom my mom is like so
(18:09):
fearful that my new aunt is going to be furious
with my grandmother, who was just having fun is an
eighteen year old like whatever, and couldn't name who were
the father of her baby was and she so she
was like, so weorried that this new aunt is going
to be upset that you know, they like went through
all of this, but like you said, maybe she wouldn't
(18:30):
because of the relationships that we've made upset. Yeah, I
think it sounds like a nice relationship. I don't know,
some people need you. There are a lot of people
in our lives that aren't family, but our family. I
know in my life there were always people either living
with us or who were just very close friends, who
were kind of always around for a long time or
(18:51):
a period of time, and we can sort of them
like family. I like to think of that, and like
a lot of people in my life, like I just
feel like, oh they need me. I'm there for them
because that's my giving back giving to someone. And so
I think look at it like that, don't worry about
the morality of the lie because you're not doing anything bad.
It feels like a white lie. Yeah, well, big white lie,
(19:12):
A big white lie. I would you say, you know,
if this grandfather of yours contact your mother, you better
open up your travel schedule, sister, because it looks like
you're gonna have a lot more trips coming up. I know. Well, luckily,
I'm pretty sure he's in the same state, so okay,
oh that's great. The other family, the new not family,
(19:34):
is somewhere else. I'm like, just think about it as
pretty funny. Actually, if you think about it, it would
make a really good sort of story. You know, you've
participating in a fake relationship for the next fifteen years.
We'll have to like sit with our parents sometimes when
they're like with their friends, and maybe think of it
(19:54):
that way. It's your mom's friend, so I do. I
guess that's maybe why I've been dragging my feet because
I'm like, Okay, I have another sister who like doesn't
have to do these things, and it's only because she's
not as fun as me. And I'm like, mom, why
do you sometimes like take her take somebody else? But
but that's the burden you carry by being fun, you
(20:15):
know what I mean, You're carry more responsibility, it really is. Yeah,
so suck it up. I guess I'll make people laugh
and feel loved. All right, Well, thanks for calling in,
Thank you so much. Enjoy your sunny weather. Thank you
all right, by ladies, She's exhausted from being fun. I'm sure.
(20:40):
You feel this way a lot too, because it is
hard to be the fun one in the group all
the time, you know, sometimes you just want to be Yeah,
sometimes you're just like, fuck off. That's when my New
Jersey comes out, fuck off. Did you have to overcome
an accent? Uh? Yeah, I mean sometimes I have an
accent and I say all our talk or something of that,
(21:01):
drinking especially, it comes out interesting. But no, I didn't
have a bad New Jersey accent. No, but my brother does.
One of my brothers, which is weird. Yeah, it's like
randomly has Mormon accent. Well. Our next email comes from Sylvan.
Sylvan says, my story is a little different. And then
I knew that my biological father had another family. My
entire life. It had been made clear to me that
(21:23):
both he and his wife didn't want my mother or
me intruding on their perfect families lives. This caused me
a great deal of pain and affected how I felt
about myself for as long as I can remember. In
two thousand five, shortly after Hurricane Katrina, I briefly got
in touch with my father and stepfather. I also met
an emailed most of my siblings. One of my half
sisters told me her version of the story that she
(21:45):
had found a baby picture of me and had been
shocked when her mother told her I existed. However, we
really never got to know each other because of the
geographic distance. A couple of weeks ago, my half sister
facebooked me to let me know she'd be passing through
my area and asked if I would her, her boyfriend,
and my two year old niece for dinner. I eagerly
agreed and couldn't believe it when they told me they
(22:06):
were planning to sleep in their car that night. I
insisted that they come to my place, and we had
the start of a good conversation, but it wasn't enough
time to really start unpacking our separate histories and our
desire to know each other. They unfortunately had to keep
driving back to Louisiana and I needed to get to
work the next day. I want to get to know
my family, but I'm so afraid of doing or saying
the wrong thing. I'm wondering if you have any ideas
(22:28):
of how we can try to get to know each other,
Whether we can start in the present, or if the
only way to proceed is to address the past. Chelsea,
I know you're a compassionate person and you're also a
lot braver than me, So I'm reaching out to you
about this. I'm attaching a picture of me, my sister,
her boyfriend, and their daughter. Thanks for any advice you
can offer. Sylvan, Oh, that is sweet. Yeah. I mean,
(22:50):
I don't think you have to rehash the past, especially
if it's uncomfortable for any of anybody. It's about being related, right,
It's about having a blood relation and then working off
of that and building off of that. And I think
that you should start from the present and just getting
to know each other, and you know, not being overbearing
(23:11):
about it, but being giving people space to warm up
to the idea, and also just being available for when
there is space and meeting the moment when the appropriate
moments arise, and also just keeping an open door letting
them know that you're always available. They're welcome to stay
with you if you're comfortable with that and getting to
know them in that way. But yeah, I guess I
(23:33):
wouldn't push it too hard. Yeah, I think it's just
a natural progression. You know, it's not something you can
like instantly change and have a relationship with someone like
that when there's that kind of history, but it's obviously
so many people do it, so like use that as
your compass, like it's been done so many times, where
people can have relationships with other family members they hadn't
(23:56):
known about or had it known about them, or you know,
all of the circle stances that are kind of encapsulated
in these kinds of things. Yeah, I agree. I think
I would treat it just like you're getting to know anybody,
just like a normal friendship. Of course, you're going to
touch on like where did you go to high school?
And what was your favorite type of music, those sorts
of things from the past. But I don't necessarily think
unless she brings it up, it's necessary to like really
(24:19):
dive into family drama stuff. Just treat it like a
normal friendship. And I also think this is sort of
echoing what Chelsea said, but sort of bite sized interactions
might be good so that you can like have a
little time together, maybe go to dinner or coffee, and
then like you know, maybe in a few weeks or
a month you see them again, depending on how far
(24:40):
away they live. Yeah, yeah, take it slow, Yeah, take
it slow, just like you're getting to know anybody, But
I do think there's an interesting connection that sisters can have,
and it's really exciting that you got to meet a
niece as well. Very cute little baby niece. While Sylvan,
let us know how it goes, and thank you for
emailing in. Our next question comes from Katie. Katie says,
(25:03):
Dear Chelsea. About two years ago, my dad told me
that when he was a teenager, one of my uncles
had a baby that got put up for adoption. No
one in the family knows about this. This past spring,
my dad's youngest sister did twenty three and me and
found a DNA match with a woman that puts her
in the realm of a niece. No one in the
family said anything about this, but my dad is positive
(25:25):
this is the daughter that was put up for adoption.
My uncle went on to Mary and have three kids,
one of whom is my cousin who I'm very close
with and I consider her a sister. I'm going to
be a bridesmaid in her wedding in a few weeks,
and I'm wondering if you think I should tell her
about this half sister she has. On the one hand,
I feel guilty keeping something so big from her. On
the other hand, I don't want to be the one
that spills the beans and causes the family drama, especially
(25:48):
right before her wedding. I don't know if it's necessarily
my place to tell her. What are your thoughts and advice?
Katie Hi, Katie Hi? Chelseae? How are you good? How
are you her good? Thanks? So when does the wedding?
It's in a week and a half now, so it's
coming up. Yeah. I definitely would not tell her before
(26:08):
the wedding. Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea
because the half sister is a big deal. And I
don't know, Katherine, what do you think, Like, I don't
know if that's your place to tell her. Is there
anyone else in the family who feels like a natural
fit for the person to tell her, Like, maybe it's
your dad, maybe it's the uncle sort of thing. Yeah,
(26:30):
So it's funny you mentioned that because my dad has
been meaning to have a conversation with the uncle, especially
since my aunt found out about this on the DNA thing,
got it, So, but they haven't had that conversation yet. Yeah,
I would encourage them to have that conversation after the
wedding and after everything's died down, I would encourage your
(26:51):
dad to do it, and you know, and also let
him know, like if he doesn't, you will. I like,
I like the threatening people. I think that's a great approach.
That's a good tactic. Yeah, it's just threatened them into action. No,
but I mean I understand like it can feel a little,
you know, guilt inducing to you're so close with her
and you have this enormous secret that you know, you
(27:12):
just probably is at the front of your brain all
the time when you're talking to her lately. But are
you in the wedding? I am, Yeah, I'm a bridesmaid.
Oh that's wonderful. That's wonderful. It is annoying to know,
like I don't like that burden that you know, something
that she doesn't like. That's not fair either, you know.
And that's what you have to impress upon your father
(27:32):
that that's why he's got to like pull the trigger
and have the conversation either with his brother or with
your cousin. Yeah. I think it's good to push them,
but like let them get through the honeymoon and everything
first and get settled. And one thing about these sorts
of revelations is that they seem urgent, but they're actually
(27:53):
not as time sensitive as we maybe think that they are.
I know, when my dad found out that the man
he thought was his dad was not his biological father,
he actually figured it out on his own and went
back out into the other room where his family was
and didn't say a word. And in fact, he didn't
say a word to my mom for a full year
(28:15):
because he needed time to process things and deal with
this new information in this new discovery before he could
really like talk to other people about it. And I
know the situation is a little bit different than that.
But you know, this information feels so big because it
is such a big thing, but it's not actually something
that's super super urgent. Right. That's a good point. But
(28:37):
we're also talking about men, and men take a much
longer time to process things than women. We're like fax
machines and they're like fucking meat lockers. I guess that
is true. Have a good time at that. That sounds fine, Yeah, absolutely,
Thanks for joining us. Keep us posted. M okay. Dear Chelsea, Hello,
(29:06):
when I heard you were looking for people who done
genetic testing and ended up with a unique finding, I
started laughing out loud. I was adopted at birth by
the doctor who delivered me. His best friend at the
time was an attorney, and hey, it was seventy three,
so I guess that's just how ship got done. Anyhow,
I always knew I was adopted, and don't ever remember
(29:26):
being sat down for the talk. It was just common
knowledge in my family, no big deal. I didn't really
think much of it until one night my dad was
bourbon drunk and told me my birth mother's name. I
was probably about ten at the time and never forgot it.
I always wondered what my birth parents were like, what
kind of music they listened to, was it a one
night stand, etcetera. Flash forward to the day I decided
to take a twenty three and me test. I spit
(29:48):
into the test tube, which took me a couple hours
to fill because it was fucking gross and I kept gagging.
As a nurse, I'd rather have someone vomit on me
than deal with flegm and spit. But hey, we all
have our thing. It's weird that it took her that
long to do it, because I was able to do
this in like five minutes, and I have no patience
for anything. Yes, she's a nurse. I'm a barbacologist. I'm
(30:10):
a guynecologist, as you spent right and to that too.
I it took me, like, I don't know, maybe ten
fifteen moves to like get this because you haven't had
anything to drink, so you're kind of dry, brad like
filled it all the way up and want ago horrified
and impressed. But so then she says, a few weeks later,
(30:33):
I got an email and my results were in within days.
My biological aunt reached out to me. She was convinced
I was a child of her other sister she had
three and told me all about when I was born
in this big, dramatic story that didn't align with what
my parents had told me. Again it was the seventies.
She also said that I would not be hearing from
my birth mother because she wasn't in great health mentally
(30:53):
or physically. I was a bit shocked, but relieved. I
didn't want to have a big, weird reunion. Then she
told me about another child. I had an older brother,
so she reached out to him to see if he
wanted to connect. She sent me his name and number,
and I nervously planned to text him the next day.
It sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. I
was laying in bed that night and almost asleep when
(31:15):
I suddenly sat up in bed and realized, Oh, my
fucking god, that's the guy I met at Jason Davidson's
party in high school and drunkenly made out with on
Jason's mom's new couch. But then I somehow talked myself
out of it being the same guy, even though his
last name is not very common. It's fine, it's fine,
it's fine. The next day I texted him and I
just said, hey, there, this is crazy but pretty interesting.
(31:38):
If you ever want to catch up, let me know. Immediately,
the three dots pop up and I wanted to die.
He texted, I'm available right now if you are so.
I paced around saying funk like seventeen times and just
called him. You know when you can hear in someone's
voice that they're smiling so uncomfortably and awkwardly because they
have no idea what to do, That's how Chad sounded.
(31:59):
I asked stuff we had friends in commons since we
went to rival high schools, and he simply blurted out
Jason Davidson is my best friend. And then we both
sat in silence for what seemed like forever, and then
I blurted out, oh, my God, did we make out
at that party? He uncomfortably said, yeah, we did, and
I asked, oh Jesus, was that all God? He reassured
(32:23):
me that that was all we did. The next few
weeks consisted of us calling each other and just laughing
uncomfortably on the phone together. He told his wife, who
thought it was hilarious, and we both did as well.
Turns out, he was born almost three hours away from
our hometown, was adopted and brought back to live about
four miles away from me. One summer in high school,
we had both loosely hung around in the same circle
(32:46):
of people. It was so bizarre. We finally did meet
up and have a beer when he came back to
our hometown to visit at Christmas. Thank god his wife
came to break the ice. We had a great time
and both decided that even though it was super weird
to say, things really couldn't have turned out better because
we already knew each other and didn't have to worry
about some crazy half siblings showing up in the middle
of the night asking for money. If you're still reading this,
(33:08):
thank you. I tried for brevity, but it didn't happen.
I now refer to Chad as my makeout brother because
it sounds hilarious and inappropriate. He wasn't even a very
good kisser from what I remember, thank god. But don't
tell his wife that. Take care Hillary, You know what, Hillary,
Not a lot of people can talk about what kind
of kiss are their brother is, so Maltov, that's a
(33:30):
pretty funny story. You know. It's funny when you said
did anything more happen? It's like, you know, thank goodness,
you didn't have sex with your brother. I mean right, yeah,
thank goodness, because that is disgusting and making out is
who gives a ship about that? You know, Like, I mean,
there are I would rather make out with my brother
over some men that are out there, you know. So yeah,
that's a that's a funny story. It's funny that it
(33:52):
didn't lead to anything else. That's almost like the universe
protecting you, especially in moments when you're drunk and you
don't remember and and things don't take that course. It's
almost like you have like a fairy godmother or some
someone upstairs looking at for you don't Yeah, isn't it?
Is it Iceland where they all have to have sex
(34:13):
with each other? Basically is the capital of Iceland, And
that's what Wait? Is it Iceland? Where? What? Where they
have to where they have to like follow a registry
so they make sure they don't marry their own cousins.
I think it is. They're beautiful in Iceland, so it
would be hard not to have sex with everybody, even
if you're related. Yeah. Well that's a recurring theme on
this shows, you know, making out with relatives and on
(34:36):
Game of Thrones and on Game of Thrones, I mean,
no spoilers, but just getting pretty hot this season. Are
you watching the new one? Oh? Oh, I haven't watched
it yet. Yeah. I mean it's it's good. I'm ready
for it to get even better. But I'm sticking with it.
I'm sticking with it. My sister started watching the original
Game of Thrones and she just started watching that and
(34:56):
she was telling me about it and she's like, what's
your favorite part. I'm like, all, I'm members the incest,
Like that's the one thing that I just cannot get
passed about that show. And I don't know that. I'm
if it grossed me out or I liked it, because
I'm like, why is that the one memory I have
of that show? It's like sticks out more than anything
is the incests. I mean, one of the most exciting
parts is where like two people who are related finally
(35:19):
hook up and you're like, yeah, oh God, brought to
you by So our next email comes from Lori. Lori says,
love the show listen every week. I found out at
forty seven via twenty three and me Kit that I
did for fun that I was not my dad's biological child.
(35:42):
Long story short, my parents used a sperm donor and
kept it a secret. I've since discovered multiple donor siblings
or quote dipplings dim sum let's just call them dim Sum,
and I'm quite close to two of them. In fact,
we're having our first dibbling meet up and us a
couple of weeks. I'm very nervous to meet them in person,
(36:03):
despite the fact that we text each other every day.
My half sister in particular looks just like me, and
I'm scared it will freak me out in person. I
crave closeness with them. They're not strangers, but more than friends,
but not quite actual siblings. It's all very confusing. I've
also had to grapple with learning that my medical history
was not what I thought it was, specifically that there's
(36:24):
alcoholism and mental health issues on my paternal side that
I was completely unaware of. Unfortunately, I'm seeing some of
those issues play out with my older daughter, who's fifteen.
How should I make sense of these new relationships and
what do you think I should expect? Lorie? Oh? I,
first of all, I think that this is so exciting.
You already have a good attitude, and they're gonna be
(36:45):
just as nervous as you are, Laurie. Like, if your
sister half sister looks so much like you, you also
look so much like her. She's thinking the same thing,
and it's gonna be weird for both of you. But like,
what a great opportunity. And you know, I mean, I'm
sorry about the mental health and alcoholism. A marker that
comes up. I do think it runs in family. Oh,
I don't know that it's like specifically a marker, but yeah,
(37:07):
it's it's genetic because it doesn't run in my family,
so I must have started it. Um. But and that's
why I'm not reproducing, but I'm sorry to hear about
that aspect of things. But also that's not insurmountable either.
I know that you said she's having trouble with her
own daughter. Actually, you know what, having these relationships with
your half siblings may shed some light on all of
this for you because they may have had some experiences
(37:27):
that are similar with their own children or more of
your you know, diblings may have had that same experience.
So it would be it's good to have that cohort,
you know, where you guys can discuss it together and
and maybe like share your experience and glean some knowledge
from that. But I think this is a great opportunity.
And yeah, it's totally normal to be nervous. Nervous means
you care, that's good. Yeah. My dad always says, like
(37:50):
when he was growing up, he was different than what
he now knows are his half siblings, um, and he
just thought he was very unique and totally his own person.
And then when he met his other half siblings when
he was in his twenties, he was like, I am,
it's it's all. It's all nature. It's all like even
the way we held our mugs, like our coffee mugs
(38:11):
was the same. They look the same, Like, my one
uncle is literally my dad but with red hair, completely
the same. Yeah, it's amazing. There was this Time magazine
cover years ago about twins where it talked about it
found like successive twins that were separated at birth, and
like there was one set of twins that were both
truck drivers. They were both married to a woman with
the same first name. They both named their baby the
(38:33):
same first name. They both watched the same television shows.
They were identical twins, and you're like, holy shit, it's
so crazy. I find twins. Yeah, and that's so fascinating
the difference between fraternal twins and yeah, yeah, my two
cousins are identical twins. And they decided they wanted to
(38:53):
like not do the twin thing in college, so they
didn't talk to each other at all about what they
wanted to major in or where they wanted to go.
They're like refused because they were like, let's go bear
on people. And of course they both wanted to be nurses,
and they picked the same college, so one of them
had to, like, you know, they decided for the benefit
of being their own people, one of them would go
to the second choice college. But I know, I know.
(39:18):
How do you decide which one gets the second choice?
I don't know. I would just say stick together. Who
gives a ship like each other? Stick together? Yeah, they're
both cool. Well. Our last email comes from Kra Dear Chelsea,
I had a sneaking suspicion and fear that my parents
might be related when my mom told me the story
of how right after I was born, she had my
(39:39):
baby book open filling in the family tree. Both my
grandma's were there with her. When she asked, okay, great
great grandmother, they said the same name. Turns out or
fourth cousins don't share that much d n A whoopsie doodle.
Now that we know I'm fairly normal, I can joke
about this. I'm fifty three years old and just fine.
(39:59):
We also discovered that one of my great uncle's apparently
had a baby with a woman we didn't know about.
We're now in touch with that new side of the family.
And she came to your show at the Mountain Winery.
She said, I can't wait to see Chelsea tonight for
the first time at the Mountain Winery. I think she'll
truly love it there. I mean, it's a concert venue
on a mountain with a winery. What could be better? Kara,
I love these happy endings. It would be nice if
(40:21):
everybody just had this happy attitude. I know it's not
easy for everybody to have a good outlook towards it
because sometimes it involves cheating and secrets and lies, so
that adds a layer of you know, betrayal and drama. Yeah. Yeah,
but it would be nice to just kind of accept
what the reality is because like to think about all
the connections people get to make, and like the new
(40:42):
family members, and when you have a positive outlook towards it,
you can like act in love and kindness with new people,
and and then you have another person you know in
your corner and you can be in someone's corner. It's
nice when there's a happy response. Yeah, and blood, I
do think is thicker than water, Like they're just is
something something different with a cousin or a sibling that
(41:03):
you have that you know, even sometimes it might be awkward,
but you relate to them in a way that you
can't relate to any new friend. I think one of
the really interesting things that I heard when I was
researching this episode was the founder of twenty three and Me.
She said, basically, everybody's got some mystery person in their
lineage here, there, wherever. But she said life is long,
(41:25):
and people enjoy sex, so everybody's just a random person
out there in their family. Yeah, some people enjoy sex,
and some people like masturbating and then artificially seminating the
wrong women, So that's not really sex, but that's also
sadistic in a sick way. Six six six. Some people
are sick, they don't forget that part. Yes, And some
(41:46):
people like to make up with their own brothers. Yeah. Yeah,
well some people accidentally make up with their own brothers,
Like we should say, that's true, Chelsea. This was I
think a very fun episode and we had there. Honestly,
there were so many other emails we couldn't even get to,
but it was pretty exciting to learn some different things.
Yeah yeah, yeah, so I I yeah, I mean, why
wouldn't anybody get this testing done? I mean, it just
(42:08):
gives you more information. Even if you don't want to
do the genealogy part, just do the health part so
you can find out what you have a propensity for.
Here's a question, would you so this is a separate
thing that you would have to like upload your results too.
It's separate from twenty three and me. But there is
a program called jet match where you can upload your
DNA that you've received two help with solving crimes. Is
(42:32):
that something that you would ever do? Well? What does
that mean? Exactly? Like so, so basically it helps law
enforcement like whittled down it. Let's say they have DNA
from a rapist or a murderer, and you submit your DNA.
It might not be like your uncle, but it might
be your second cousin once removed, and that helps law
enforcement build family trees to help solve crimes. Oh yeah,
(42:55):
of course I would do that. I think I'm going
to do it. Oh you are, Okay, so would a
true crime and that sort of thing. I think I
just have to make sure I haven't done anything like that.
You know, I don't want to murder. I mean, I've
wanted to murder so many people, but I've never pulled
the trigger, so to speak. But who knows what my
family has been sucking up to. But this would be
(43:16):
a good way to pin everybody in a corner exactly
exactly amen to that. Yeah, okay, well this has been
a very informative, very nice, lighthearted episode. Yes, thanks for
writing in everybody. Thank you guys. We'll see you next
week or you'll hear us by Okay, so my stand
up dates, I have some dates coming up in California
(43:36):
October one, I'm Impassa Robels and then I'm in Vegas
at the Mirage Saturday October and then Wheatland, California October
and then you can go to Chelsea Hamler dot com
for more dates when I'll be performing. And uh yeah,
that's pretty much what's happening right now. So if you'd
like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at
(43:59):
Dear Chelsea project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is
a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stump,
produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.
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