I Might Be The Problem With Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey

The Office stars Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey join Chelsea and Catherine this week to talk about working with your best friend, how friendship overcame social anxiety, and why everyone worried about them becoming business partners.  Then: A college grad wonders how to forge a friendship with her ex. And two besties grapple with uploading nudie pics to OF. Get your copy of Angela & Jenna’s new book, The Office BFF’s!

*

Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

*

Executive Producer Nick Stumpf

Produced by Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert

*

*

*

*

*

The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. Hi, I'm very exciting announcement. Guys.
My new special is coming out on Netflix in December,
two days after Christmas, so I'm very excited. It's called Revolution,
and it is my next This is the tour that
I've been on, the Vaccinated and Horny Tour, which was
just the tour name. The special name is called Revolution,

(00:21):
and you'll understand why once you see it. I love
that it's like an evolution from Evolution. It's my last
special was Evolution, and this special is Revolution, and the
next special will be Devolution. Amazing. I'm so excited to
see it. Thank you. I'm so excited. It's I love it.
I just I'm so happy with it. I never am

(00:42):
able to watch myself do things. It's just very hard
to watch myself. But I think I've gotten to a
place in my life where I accept it and I
don't annoy the ship out of myself anymore. You know. Well,
it's just I haven't seen the special, but the show
is very cute. It's very sweet and charming, and I
think everybody's going, well, that's what everyone thinks of when
they think of me. It's cute, sweet and charming. So
there you go. You hit the nail on the head

(01:02):
once again. Exactly, very on brand, very on brand, Chelsea.
It is Thanksgiving Day. Oh my goodness, Happy Thanksgiving everybody.
I am currently in San Francisco tending to my sister
who had a surgical procedure for her back, and so
I am playing nurse, even though I am not, you know,
that great at it, although I think she's pretty impressed

(01:24):
with my performance so far or my professionalism since I
have so much experience in the medical field and caring
for others. Yes, and you can prescribe her drugs, yes, exactly,
and then I could take her drugs, so it works
as a beautiful revolution trades. Yeah. Well, I am in
Chicago with my husband's family. We usually don't go home
for Thanksgiving, but we're doing it. That we did it

(01:45):
this year. Oh well, okay, and that's exciting. It's all
going swimmingly. I bet, I bet it is going swimmy.
We'll save that conversation for off the end, just because
I'm aware of some of your previous trips. Yes, we
have only unfortunately met my twin nephews, who are now
almost two. We've only met them once. Because of pandemic,

(02:06):
and then every time we've been home they've had like hand,
foot and mouth disease. They went from that straight into
COVID and then like norovirus. Every time we're a home,
foot in mouth, monkey pox, all the things. Babies, no bueno. Yeah,
but now they're walking, so it's all over. Oh my god,

(02:27):
they're not even walking it and they've had all these diseases.
I know, it's just all it's all happening. So I'm
excited to spend some time with them and snuggle them
and pick up something. Yeah, yeah, definitely get ready. You
should wear a mask over all of your holes. You
don't want to get an ear infection. If you know
what I'm talking about, I don't know what I do

(02:48):
about it. I'm excited to explore. Okay, so our guests today,
we have two guests. They are co stars of the
show The Office. I guess I should say they were
co stars of the show The Office and now there
but there are real life bfs and they are now
co hosts of the hit podcast Office Ladies and now

(03:09):
co authors because their new book called The Office Bfs
is out now. And their names are Angela Kinsey and
Jenni Fisher. Hi, girls, Hi, Sorry, I've been sitting here
and then I realized that my video was off. Oh
did you already do the interview without us? I did
the whole thing. It was great. Okay, well let's wrap

(03:30):
it up. Then it was a great review. Thanks. It
was so great talking with you. Hi, Hi girls, girls, Hello, hello, hello,
coming coming to us live from Angela's in her garage. Jenna,
where are you. I am in a closet that I
transformed into a podcasting space. I brought a plant in

(03:53):
it looks you good. Bring in some oxygen. Yes, I
have a hummingbird painting. So you know, really, we're just
we're just sexy and it's all happening with our plans
and our words. Very sexual. That was the first thing
that I was going to say. I know, we get
that a lot, and your background art is very sexual

(04:14):
as well as the person who has to worry about
the sound quality. I mean, I'm so happy to hear
your in small spaces with soft things like closets and
you know, girls, I'm having a podcast room built in
my new house, which won't be ready until so I
keep coming to the studio thinking it's temporary, and I'm like,

(04:35):
ohh any day now, and then I've just come to
the realization that I will probably never be moving. By
the time that house is done, I will have sold it.
That is how I feel. We were having to podcast
during the pandemic, during the lockdown, when we were in
our homes, and so that's when Angela and I started
podcasting from our closets and I ordered the soundproofing thingies,

(04:59):
you know, the ads for the walls, And that's sort
of how this came about. And now it's great. First
of all, I love your podcast. I love that you
guys decided to revisit your own show and break it apart.
It's very, very entertaining, and obviously it's a huge hit,
so a lot of people are loving it as well.
Now you guys are really good friends in real life obviously, right,

(05:23):
best friends, best friends. I love. We've hit the BFF.
We're there. That's our status update. We're at bf uh.
We'll tell us about how that friendship evolved from working together,
because a lot of times when you work on shows
or productions, you know, you make good friends and then
it's kind of like sleepaway camp. You go back to

(05:43):
your real lives and then you kind of forget about
those people, but you hold onto the memories. It's that's
very true. That's most of the time. Yeah. I actually
remember going to sleep away camp once when I was
in fourth or fifth grade. It was Hebrew sleepaway camp,
so just to add that little X through a nutcluster,
and and I was so excited, like it was, you know,

(06:05):
just sleepover to like girl time, like so many girls,
and they were all from my school, and none of
us were really close friends. We were all in different
social groups. And then we went to sleep away camp
for one weekend. It was just like a one weekend retreat,
but we all bonded so much that when we got
back to school, I was like, oh my god, we're
like we're all in this new group. And then it

(06:26):
just kind of petered out, and I remember feeling so
disappointed as a young girl that we couldn't continue that well.
You know, early in my career, I did this movie
Walk Hard with John c Riley, and he kind of
took me aside midway through. He was very much a
mentor to me, just a wonderful, wonderful guide with acting
technique and all kinds of things. But about midway through,

(06:47):
he just sort of very gently said to me, you know, Jenna,
I don't know how to say it, but like, this
isn't real life life on the set, the friends you're making,
the connect and you're making here, this isn't your real life.
Your real life is the other thing, not the movie.
And I was like, what do you mean. These are

(07:09):
my very best friends and they're going to be my
very best friends for ever and ever and ever were
bonded for life. And it was such a wake up
call because he was right, and it was a great
lesson to learn too, because I think in the entertainment
industry a lot of times I don't know that the
friendships you're making, or the bonds you're making on a

(07:30):
particular artistic project. It's really good to remember that you
have to really put down roots in your real life.
You have to have friendships that aren't associated with the
project you're working on. And I guess I'm saying all
that and now I'm realizing that my very best friendship
is Angela Kinsey, who I met on a set and

(07:50):
who is now my business partner. So I don't know.
I guess, well, I think I think we have a
really good balance because I just I collect people everywhere,
and I want you all to go with me everywhere.
And then I bug you and I texted you probably
too much, and I overshare and and and I just
want you all to be with me all the time. Really,
so I think Jenn and I are a nice balance

(08:11):
like that. She says when we were on set that
I just I talked to you into being my friend,
Like I just wouldn't stop talking to you pretty much.
You did, And I'm I'm more shy and I have
a lot of social anxiety, and so to have this
person that was just warm and chatty and open and
never stopped talking to me, I just was like drawn

(08:33):
to that, like moth to a flame. I was like, yes,
this is great. And then you know, we went through
this crazy thing together, this show becoming successful. It was
both of our first regular television jobs, and so we
were able to navigate all of that together. But more

(08:54):
than anything, we were the same kind of person, right,
and like we were target on the weekends and going
to do like what do you call those where you
like paint a picture and drink wine like we wine
and Kivas night night. We were for it. Give me
sign me up for sip and stitch. We're gonna do one.

(09:17):
I mean, I just yeah, no. We we both sort
of had the same life experience in a way, like
our our families and how we grew up. And even
though we you know, I grew up all over and
some of the locations weren't the same, sort of the
heart of how we related to the world was the same.
And how we processed the show taking off and how

(09:38):
that changed our lives. But one of the things I'm
so proud of in our friendship is the commitment we
have to our friendship. And you know, it's like any
any other relationship in your life. The work you put
in it is what you get out. And as the
show ended and all of a sudden, we had this
place where we always saw each other and that was gone.
So it was up to us after that, how do

(09:59):
we maintain this French ship? How do we keep it going?
What does it mean to us? And it's one of
the joys of my life, the work we put into
it and what we get back from it, and I'm
always so thankful for it. We'll talk to us a
little bit about like what that commitment means for each
of you checking in really sharing and sharing because it's
I feel like, how people grow really close to you

(10:20):
as a shared life experience, and whether or not your
journey is the same, you're sharing your life experience on
any day, I know what Jenna's day was like. I
know what her week was like, even when we've been
way apart working. You know, like when Jenna, when you
were in London and I was in Vancouver, I knew
the sound her feet made on her walk every day
and I grew to look forward to it. You know,

(10:42):
at first it was annoying. I was like it was
kind of some crunchy rock. But then I was like,
oh I miss that crunchy rock and I need to
hear it. But right, Jenna, like, we just we stay connected.
We journal out loud to each other all the time
about the big stuff, the small stuff. All of it
is welcome. Yeah. I think a lot of what and
nexus as friends is sharing the small stuff. And like

(11:03):
Angela said, journaling out loud. We used to write each
other journal like emails, and then we moved into audio messages,
which is how we do it now. And Angela just
audio messaged me about her ceiling today. She had a
big water leak and she gave me all the guys,
the ceiling is going in today. I've I've been waiting

(11:24):
weeks for this because I'm so invested in Angela's ceiling
for her, because we tell each other all the small stuff.
Do you guys use Marco Polo? That's a video messaging app? No,
I know it, I know Marco Polo, but yeah, it
sounds like that would be a good app for you too,
because then you can visually see each other talking wherever
you are, and then you can show her the ceiling

(11:45):
being the installation of the ceiling. Like, it's a nice
way to check in with your friends and family when
you're on vacation anywhere, really, so they know what you're
up to. You don't have to like message back in
real time. It's like when you get the message, you
message back. I do that with a lot of my friends.
It's a atty great form of communication. It's almost like
if you could leave a voicemail when face timing. Yeah,

(12:06):
it's like a FaceTime voicemail basically, Oh, I'm in, I'm in.
What's nice about it? Is like, well, when I see
that come in I'll wait until I have a minute
to digest it so you can really can accept the message.
And there's also sometimes messages where I'm like, you're gonna
need to make sure no one's around when you listen
to this one. Yeah, you know those are my favorite. Yeah,

(12:29):
obviously I like what you're saying about friendship because we've
talked about this before, Catherine, about Renee Brown. I think
it is talks about the marble jar and how, you know,
things develop and cultivate over time. And it's not about
like necessarily instant connections and all of those things, because
those can be fleeting. It's about time spent, you know,
time quality, time spent repetitively, not just a few times

(12:52):
or a couple of times. It's about all the small
moments along with the big moments and the consistency of
it that leads to like a real, real worthwhile friendship.
I think that's true. I feel like I always know
that Jenna is going to show up for me, and
I don't know that about everybody. You know, like I
am someone that I love meeting people and hearing their

(13:14):
stories and kind of collecting this group of people. But
then you have this small inner circle that you know
is going to show up in Jenna's top of the list,
and that makes me feel good in the world. That
makes me feel safe, and she makes me feel safe
a lot. You know that's great, Jenna. Oh well, I
mean that's Angela for me too. There's an unconditional love

(13:35):
that comes with Angela's friendship that makes me feel like
I can be the parts of myself that aren't so polished,
the parts of myself that I am may be ashamed
of or embarrassed by. I can make those mistakes with her,
and she's she doesn't judge, She's there to just love
me through even my worst moments. Yeah. I think that's

(13:58):
the gift that everybody they wants, right as somebody who
can see you at your worst and love you nonetheless.
And also the lack of judgment is nice because I
noticed in different dynamics with girlfriends of mine or friends
of mine or associates of mine. You know, sometimes I'm
very judgmental, and sometimes I am so forgiving, like not
even forgiving is it the right word, but the opposite

(14:20):
of being judgmental, you know, generous, Yeah, just generous of
spirit really, like not ever thinking that any of their
behavior is ever going to like break us or judging
them for it, you know, loving them through it. So judgmental,
Like being judgmental is a very tricky kind of balance.
Well for me it is anyway, because I used to
be super judgmental, and I've tried to tone that down.

(14:43):
You know, sometimes I'm very successful and sometimes I'm less successful.
Well that's that's just everybody, right. I Mean it's like
some days I'm like, I'm crushing it today as a human,
and then other days I'm like, what a piece of crap?
I mean, I'm just I'm curious. How did you do that? Chelsea?
Was that like a conscious decision? Did you decide to
take that on one year as a goal, and like,

(15:05):
what are some of the things you did? Well? I
went to therapy and realized, like I you know, I
went into like serious therapy for about a year and
a half when I just became so angry and kind
of like, you know, just I had no patience for people.
Everyone annoyed the funk out of me. I mean, people
still really annoy me. I don't know if that's ever
going to go away completely, but I have a much

(15:25):
more like loving attitude now. About people and I understand
that people go through things, you know, that you don't
know anything about, and I just was a little bit
up my own ass. So I had to just kind
of expand my my thoughtfulness and really understand that everybody
is going through something and most oftentimes you're not going
to know what that is, and to be empathetic, which

(15:46):
is something I kind of really lacked empathy, and to
cultivate that. The exciting news was that it's possible to
cultivate empathy when you are deficient in a category like that.
There are skills and ways to remember that. You know,
everybody has their own life. Everybody has their own set
of problems, their families, their history that you don't know

(16:07):
anything about, and to be more patient with people, really,
and it feels so good to be able to love
someone when they're acting badly, you know what I mean,
When somebody feels terrible about the way they're behaving, where
they're having an outburst, it feels so generous to be
able to sit with them and be like, it's everything's
gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay, and you know,

(16:27):
and so that reaps its own set of rewards. I
think mm hmm, yeah, I mean I feel like one
of the things that you know, I mean, I feel
like that you and I have is we can be
really honest with each other and we've given ourselves the
room and our friendship to just take it in and
because it comes from a loving place, it's sort of

(16:48):
like that thing you were saying Chelsea about like having compassion.
And we're not a perfect friendship, you know, we're a
working friendship and we do the best we can. We
care for each other and we always come at it
from that space. So I wouldn't want anyone listening to
think that it's always been smooth sailing, because anything worth
anything takes work, and there's gonna be days where you

(17:10):
get on each other's nerves and things that you work
through as friends. But it's always been just so rewarding
that I can go to Jenna with anything and she
can come to me and she hears me, and she'll
we own whatever part of it we own and then
we get past it, and um, it's something I'm I
don't know, jennat always means a lot to me that
I know I can go to you that that that

(17:31):
I feel so comfortable in our friendship that I can
even go to you with things where I'm like, hey,
you know what that bugged me? Or you can do
the same and we get through it. Yeah, We've also
started conversations like this, like I've said, hey, I have
to talk to you about something. Something's bothering me and
it might be me, it might be my ship. But

(17:54):
can I say it out loud and maybe we figure
it out together, like what part of it might be you?
What part of it is Maybe it's all me, Like
I'm I'm coming at this, but like I've been holding
it for long enough now and I'm not figuring it
out by myself, And so can I just bring it
to the friendship and as soon as I say it,
I might feel embarrassed, because sometimes that happens, like as

(18:15):
soon as you say it, you see it. And and
so I am so grateful that our friendship and our
friendship did not start that way. In fact, I almost
feel like some of these bigger, deeper kind of conversations
have happened since we went into business together. Because when
you're running a business together and you're presenting a business

(18:37):
to other people, the stakes are a little higher, and
so I that's one of the things that being in
business together has brought our friendship. It's I feel like
even even deeper, yeah, because the dynamic shifts. But I
love what you said. I love that intro into getting
into a difficult conversation. We haven't had to have any difficult,
really difficult conversations yet, Katherine, but I hope to have

(18:59):
some soon. So we just started, we became friends, we
started working together, and then we became friends. So it's
the opposite. Well no, it's not the opposite, yeah, but
you can work together and then became friends and then
decided us to work together again. Well, the differences though,
is we were we were co workers together. We both
worked for someone else, right, and really my work ethic

(19:23):
didn't affect Jenna's or vice versa. The way we approach
work didn't affect each other. But then, you know, we
had our friendship which was really solid. But then when
we started to run our own business together, well, now
it's like that's it. It's just me and Jenna, and
we directly affect one another. How we work, how we
process information, how we go into a meeting, it's all together.

(19:45):
And that was a real learning curve too. Because we
do process information and work very differently. But I also
think we complement each other really well. Yeah, we have
very similar work ethics. We're hard workers, but we approach
how we organize work differently. And it's when you go

(20:05):
into business with a friend as well. It creates so
many more opportunities for friction and you know, kind of
rubbing against each other the wrong way. So was there
anything that you really had to work through from that perspective?
I mean not at first. At first though, every person
I told that we were going into business together was like,
do you think that that's a good Are you crazy?

(20:28):
Are you worried for your friendship? And even our husbands
were worried. I think mostly because they need us to
be friends. They need Angela and I to be best
friends because we are helpful in like not making them everything,
you know, like they're not our only friends, so we
have each other for the big stuff. But I think

(20:50):
it wasn't until we started getting into it where yeah,
it was mostly how we work. Angela is a night owl.
I am a morning person. Yeah, like when when we
swap information, because you know, our our podcast, Jenna and
I break down every episode ourselves. We go through it,
we reach out to people ourselves, we kind of come
out with an outline of who takes what, and so

(21:12):
I would get this creative burst at like ten o'clock
at night, nights ender all these ideas, and she'd be like,
I need do to buck it up because my brain
is shutting off. And then Jenna, it's like when her
eyes opened, her brain is going like in the morning,
her eyes are open and she's ready to talk, and
I'm like, no, no, no, I need time to get
into this day. And that was some of the learning

(21:33):
curve that we had. So you need to have meetings
at like two pm, just like this is our happy
time right here. That's good to identify that. When people
had reluctance regarding you guys working together, did you talk
about that openly? Yeah. We both came to each other
and I was like, I was like, Jenna, Josh thinks

(21:53):
this could be a bad idea, and She's like, oh
my god, Li said the same thing, and neither of
us had any reservation, Like I had nothing. You know,
sometimes you approach something new and you're like you get
that feeling. I had none of that. I just felt excitement,
and usually that means this is, you know, a good
thing when everything in your body is like yes, yes, yes, yeah.
I think whether you're in a married couple and you

(22:16):
work together, our friendship duo and you work together, I
think some people can work together and some people can't.
You know, some people can have a great marriage or
a friendship and they can't work together, or maybe they're
like on the verge of divorce but their business is
going great. It's like, you know, I don't think it
necessarily reflects on the relationship, but it can be really
difficult to work with somebody that you deeply care for,

(22:37):
that you like. Catherine's husband edits our podcast and he's
our sound engineer and I'm sleeping with him now too.
So things I've gotten pretty fucked up around here got
me a thank you for saying throuble before I had to,
because that is the word of the decade for me,
especially I'm everyone's third wheel. Actually, we have a pretty

(22:59):
interesting question coming up today that I want to say
before we start. We're gonna go right into these questions
and we have callers and people calling for real advice. Girls.
But it's so nice to have such a wholesome group
of girls here today, like, you guys are really gonna
be You guys are gonna dig this. I could tell
because you're really I could tell you're gonna care about

(23:20):
these people and this is gonna be fun. Yes, okay, Well,
before we get to questions, we'll take a quick break
and we'll be right back and we're back fantastic. Our
first question bred we're going to go right into the
collar just for time. Is Brad your husband my husband.

(23:45):
I get to tell him what to do, and it's great.
I've seen you should have seen our hug in the hallway.
He went to hug me on the side and I
went around the corner and then we just both just
hit I mean, he's a good hugger. Well, we missed
that one this morning. I'll have to try again when
I leave. Well, this is Bella. She's twenty two. Her

(24:12):
subject line is and I love avoidant or am I right?
So she had written into the show, and some developments
happened before she wrote in again or before I reached
out to her. Um. She wrote in about a long
distance relationship she was in and she wasn't totally sure
it was right for her. They would have a great
time when they were together, but after he left, she'd
find herself thinking about being single. Complicating matters, they were

(24:34):
working on a short film together and he had helped
her through the loss of her father to cancer. She
felt that he was a wonderful partner, but couldn't really
figure out what was wrong, and she had asked, am
I trying to avoid a love that's too good for me?
Or is this feeling I get when we're apart right?
And now is the time for me to be single?
Then she wrote in again. A couple of weeks ago,

(24:56):
I left my long distance relationship with my boyfriend of
two years, and it was the best decision I could
have made. I loved him, but my longing for independence
grew bigger and bigger, and I couldn't let another day
go by abandoning myself. He and I were great friends
before we dated, and we'd love to resume that friendship
when the time is right. Can you help me with
those next steps? I know it would be a few
months down the line, but I'm a planner and I

(25:18):
would like to hear your advice. How should I approach
establishing new friendship boundaries with him? Should I be conscious
of how much time I spend with him. He was
more upset about the breakup than I was, because mentally
I had left the relationship when I wrote my first email,
I can't wait to hear from you. Bella, Hi, Bella, Hi,
bigg Hi. Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to be here.

(25:38):
I know, look at all the women here to give
you a Yes, ladies, ladies. Okay, So to your relationship,
he must have, that must have? Really? Was he surprised? Yeah,
which I was surprised. I live in New Jersey or
I just did. I'm on a road trip moving back
to a led pursue. Good for you forgetting the funk

(25:59):
out of it, right. We did it, We made it out.
I could only say that because it's my home state,
of course, And so earlier this month, I went to
l A to visit some friends and I wanted to
see the house that I was moving into, and a
couple of days before I went, that's also where he lives.
A couple of days before I went, I was like, hey,

(26:19):
I need some space. I don't want to talk. I
just feel very confused. And I was open with him
about how I was, you know, questioning our relationship kind
of on and off, and he was like, okay, of
course yeah. And then I got there and I broke
up with him, and he was accepting, but then also
expected that the whole time I was in l A
would be like our lovers goodbye, we would be hanging

(26:42):
out the whole time. And I did hang out with
him the first day, but then I had to kind
of back away, which he was very upset about. So
it was a little complicated, and I think it was
one of those things that once I really honored my
knowing and what I wanted, I couldn't like look away
and I couldn't unsee it. And for him, it was

(27:04):
like he wanted to use this time to really hold
on to what we've had and honor what we've had,
and I think I've been doing that privately on my own.
So I really love him, and I really appreciate him,
and I think we had a really beautiful relationship, but
it's time for me to move on. I don't see
myself with him long term, you know, so I think

(27:27):
now more my question, especially about being friends with him.
This is one thing I was also realizing in my reflection,
was I changed parts of myself to really connect and
click with him, and I think, like, when I'm thinking
about maintaining a friendship with him, I know I need
time before that happens. But I think he's going to

(27:49):
meet a very different person as well, So I'm just wondering.
You know, he's more eclectic, He's very artsy, artsy, and
there are parts of me. I'm a poet, you know,
I'm arts as well. But I think there's parts of
me that I suppressed and then highlighted to really connect
with him. Um, and now that I'm out of the relationship,

(28:11):
I'm finding who I am again. I'm also twenty two,
you know, I just graduated college. I'm like in a
huge transitional period of my life. And yeah, I'm just
feeling a little anxious about moving to a city where
he is. And I know he wants a friendship as well,
and I would be interested in that. But yeah, I
just can't believe the vocabulary that twenty year old have

(28:34):
about their own feelings these days. I mean, I was
drunk and high and did not have any reflection about anything.
I was like forty, I mean, so igpressive. Thank you. Well,
you know, you read Glenn and Doyle and your life
changes and ground and you know, everything, just the whole

(28:57):
world shifts. So yeah, good, good for you. Well, I
want to ask you one question before we all jump in.
So you kind of hinted at the things that you
changed about yourself, but can you get into a couple
more specifics about the things that you did change about
yourself to be more connected to him that bothered you. Yeah,

(29:18):
he lives in the clouds, and I think I'm a
I'm a romantic as well, but I'm also very practical
and especially being an actor, being a writer, and having
very big dreams for myself. I have a big hustle
because I know that for a while, I'm not going
to be making my living doing what I love. You know,
I'm going to be working for free a lot. I'm

(29:39):
going to be doing theater and getting paid two hundred
dollars a week, and I'm going to be so happy
to do that. But you know, he didn't have a job,
and I always did. I felt like I wasn't as
motivated and in a hustle mindset when I was with him.
He taught me how to slow down and smell the roses,
but I think I was doing that too much. Towards

(30:00):
the end of our relationship and I went on vacation
with him and my best friend, and now that we're
broken up, she was like, that was so jarring for
me because I felt like seeing you two together, I
was seeing the side of you that I would have
never thought even existed. Like, he's not a planner. We
were going to San Francisco and he thought that we
could just like go and camp on the beach and

(30:21):
like that's legal, and I left him to figure out
where we were camping. So then we got there and
the one job he had he just completely failed out,
which I was like, oh, it's fine, it's cute. Oh god,
he's such a plan and like so lives moment moment.
But no, that's something that I wouldn't appreciate and also
wouldn't think was cute. If that was like just a friend,

(30:43):
I'd be like, you sucked us over, Like what are
we going to do now? So yeah, I think I
was just a little bit more passive and let him
take the driver's seat. And I'm not that kind of
person just in general. And now I feel like I
don't have a boyfriend, and like I said, I'm graduating college.
I also lost my dad earlier this year. He had

(31:05):
brain cancer for two years, and you know that really
changes a person. Being twenty and having this like huge
dose of reality and so and losing him also obviously
changed me. So I'm like, looking around, I'm like, I
don't even know who I am anymore. And there's parts
of myself that I especially lost in my relationship with him.
So now I'm just totally rebuilding, which I'm very excited

(31:27):
to do, but I do feel intimidated and I've been lost.
Mm hmmm, well, thank you for your honest dates. I
I love everything you're saying, is I think so relatable
to anyone who's listening and to all women. You know,
how many times have we all been in relationships where
we've given too much of ourselves away only to come
back to ourselves or you know, every relationship you get

(31:48):
out of and then you hear what everybody thinks about
what the relationship was, and you're like, well, I wish
you would have told me that while I was in it.
But thanks anyway. I feel like I'll go first and
then everyone girls you can jump in. I think it's
so important to just respect his boundaries. Being the one
that he was kind of broken up with, and letting
him take the lead on the friendship part. I think

(32:10):
you do need some time so you're not he's not
in love with you, because it's so hard to be
friends with somebody when you're still in love. You know,
it's kind of untenable and it's not it's not even
nice to the other person. So I think you should
definitely let him take the lead and you should take
some space in between that time that you become friends.
But you know, see what he wants, because a lot

(32:31):
of people say they want to be friends and then
they try and they can't, you know, and then they're like, oh,
I can't do this, it's too soon, it's too much.
But yeah, I think respecting his boundaries since you're the
one who's kind of, you know, blossoming out of the relationship,
and he will too at some point, but maybe not
at the same pace that you are. Angela, what do
you think, Well, you know, bellow, when you were talking

(32:54):
at that one of the things that really stood out
to me, and like Telsea said, you were so well spoken.
I'm just like, my god, because I was not at
twenty two. But one of the things you said that
really stood out to me is just your feeling of
loss after your dad passed away. And you know, when
my father passed away, it was like this life anchor disappeared,

(33:15):
this thing that I was so tethered to that was
the calm and every storm, and it made me hold
a mirror up to my whole life, all my relationships.
I just looked at differently through this filter of losing
my dad and just know that voice in you that
knows when something's right for you and knows when it's not,
and losing a parent like that magnifies that. And so

(33:38):
I feel like you are living your truth and I
think that's really good. And I think the thing I
would tell you is that the loss of your dad
will always be with you, and you're gonna have days
where it just hits you in waves, and days where
you're okay, but you just look at everyone differently, and
I think that's okay. You just went through a big
thing and it put your relationship in perspective. I'm sure

(34:02):
there were many things that put it in perspective, but
I know that that had to contribute, you know, And
I just would say to be kind to yourself right
now and definitely don't rush into another one. That would
be my advice, you know, just take this time to
sort of regroup yourself and regroup how you're going to
navigate life without your dad and how you're going to
navigate relationships without him as someone you turned to. Yeah, yeah,

(34:27):
I do. I feel that a lot, and thank you.
I was having a conversation with my best friend yesterday,
like I said, we're on this road trip moving back
to l A. And she was really like, you don't
give yourself enough credit. And I was sitting in the
car like crying. I was like, I can't even accept
that that's true, but I also have enough of a

(34:49):
mirror up to me to know that it is. But yeah,
thank you very much. It's been it's been a ride.
I think that was probably I've noticed the most. I
was studying abroad in Germany and I came back after
his services and everything, and I was just looking at
all these people who are twenty and twenty one and
just worrying about Win's margarite a picture hour and how

(35:12):
cheap for the drinks, and I'm like, oh my gosh,
everything is changed for me forever. But I'm also very
grateful for it as well. I think it's very significant
to my life journey and has played a very specific role,
and I do see more and more blessings from it.
I mean, this is one of them. Yeah. Yeah, And

(35:34):
I think just looking at a specific amount of time,
you know that you might want to let a lapse
between now and when you can really start rebuilding a
friendship with this boyfriend, if and one that does happen.
You know, I feel like, as a general rule, I
usually say six months is a good amount of time
depending on how many hurt feelings there were for the
person who was dumped, But you know, you might find

(35:57):
it's three, four or five months. But I think good
way to step back into that could be group get
together is like when the time is right. But also,
you know, I think as the other girls here have said,
like taking his cues on that, as long as it's
not too soon, you know you might have to you know,
keep them, keep them at bay for a little while. Yeah,
because we really do have the same social circles. So

(36:21):
like even this month big party time and my friends
having a house swarming party, and there are things that
I know that he's gonna be at. Is this something
that then I just say, like, I'm not going to
go to that because I know he's there, because it's
like a weird thing of do I communicate with him, Like, Hey,
I don't. I don't know how to approach that part

(36:43):
of it to like just the logisticates of I don't
really want to be missing out on a whole part
of my social life and these fun parties. But I
also will acknowledge that, yeah, part of breaking up with
someone and dating someone in your friend group is those
sacrifices will have to be made. But I don't know
how to do that while not communicating with him and
just hope that that works out. Well. I think it's

(37:07):
okay to go to those sorts of things and you
can be civil and say hi, but I would grab
a good girlfriend just be like, hey, this is my
mL for tonight. I'm not trying to like have long
drawn out conversations with him. It's like, can you just
kind of have my back and keep me, keep me entertained,
and be by my side for the evening and that way, hopefully,
you know, if she sees you kind of getting into

(37:27):
something or going down a rabbit hole, she can pull
you away and say like, hey, let's go grab a
drink or whatever. Okay, yeah, yeah, Because I think the
key is, like with breaking up and everything, like the
best we can do is to be responsible with other
people's feelings, right, Like, that's the best we could do,
to not be misleading, to not be irresponsible, get drunk
and make out with them irresponsibly, and so that that

(37:49):
obfuscates the entire situation. You know, not that you're going
to do that. You don't seem like the type of
girl that's you know, that confused. But sometimes we can
do it. Men can do it too, obviously, but you know,
women can. We have this way that we can. Sometimes
we don't regard people, we don't hold them in the
same regard that we would hold our own feelings. So
I think the most you know, thoughtful thing we can
ever do when things are ending is just to hold

(38:12):
those people's feelings is equal to ours and make sure
that we're not sending mixed messages. I'm sorry, I'm butting
my shirt right now. I don't know what's happening, but yeah,
just to be responsible about it. And even if you
did want to communicate and say, hey, I just want
to make sure you're okay with us going to this
party together, like there's not gonna be any weird vibes.
I mean, obviously, you know you could always do that.
That's as long as it's friendly and not misleading, right, Yeah, Jenna,

(38:35):
what do you think? Do you have any thoughts on
this subject? You know, I think you guys covered a
lot of it. And the one thing that I was
just going to say was that I really heard that
you are entering into a new season. It sounds like
an ambitious one in your life. You have a lot
of goals and visions for your life, and I want
to wish you good luck and don't give up. I

(38:58):
have driven my car across the country in hopes of
being an actress once, and you are right, you will
probably have some years of struggle and weird jobs and
patching things together, but I'll just say it's worth it.
And if this is your calling, I really commend you
for being brave enough too to rise to the occasion

(39:20):
and make the changes in your life that are necessary
to follow that call. So good luck, You've got this,
So thank you so much. This is such an honor.
I love your podcast, Chelsea and Catherine and I love
your podcast, ladies. I love the Office. My dad and
I would watch together all the time. So I just

(39:41):
I am such a fan of you all. I'm so
happy that this all worked out, and Catherine has been
lovely communicating likewise. Well, we're a fan of you. Now
to Bella, you're an A plus plus bellas God keep
us posted on how it goes, and thank you so
much for calling in and sharing with us. I have

(40:06):
a great day, ladies. Well that was just delightful. I mean,
what where did this? I just care these young people.
I'm so improud. I would be so proud of her
if she was my daughter, I'd be like, I am
so flipping proud of you. They should make Untamed Glennon's
book that should be curriculum like required reading for all

(40:28):
high school girls, because everybody who reads it. I mean,
I don't think I've ever heard of anyone. Oh well,
some people aren't ready to hear it. Yes, I've heard
some women go it's too much, it's too much, and
you're like, you're the one who needs it the most.
You know when people have that reaction. Have you girls
both read her book? Glenn and Doyle. I haven't read it,
but I have friends who have read it and love it.

(40:49):
I follow her on Instagram though, and I love her. Yeah.
She and Abby are so funny. And she has another book,
Love Warrior, and then I think there was one other
one right before that, but I can't remember the name
of that, but yeah, and aimed as awesome. I actually
was in my work. We were there and one of
my friends had it and I read three chapters again
that I hadn't read before because I was looking for inspiration,
and I was like, oh god, yeah, it's so good.

(41:12):
It's just yeah, it's great. Is it one of those
books where you can just flip open a chapter, Yeah,
sort of essay style, so you don't have to read
it in order, and it'll just be like, oh wow,
something just opened up in me. Yeah, you know in
those days where you need something, like you have to
just pick something. I love those books at too, where
you could just pick it up and you're like, what

(41:33):
do I need to see and there's something in here
that will help me right now? Yeah, it's like that, Yeah, oh, Jenna,
we need to get it. Also, I have a fourteen
year old daughter now, and so I was just like,
she hasn't had a crush. Yet you know, it's like
it's still it's all very new, but I know those
days are coming, and I want to be prepared to
be ready. It's a good thing to read along with

(41:55):
another friend, you know. I had read it with my
sisters in law actually, and we would meet every week
after reading a few chapters, or virtually we'd meet on
zoom and we'd talk about it. It was just wonderful. Angela,
should we finally read a book together? I mean, listen,
any anything could happen. Maybe maybe we'll read a book together.

(42:17):
Maybe we'll actually finally go to a yoga class. I
can handle. Anything could happen. Yeah, after this podcast, you
guys can do a book podcast where you read books
together and do a book review. Well, we have one
more well actually two more collars. They are a pair
calling in together. This submission comes from Country Carly and

(42:42):
April Showers. Dear Chelsea. To start, my best friend and
I have been fans since we were thirteen years old,
watching Chelsea lately during sleepovers. We have a situation. We'd
love your advice on a little backstory. One of us
is a nurse practitioner and has collected over a hundred
thousand dollars in student loan debt in this pursuit. The
other is recently divorced and is building a successful career

(43:04):
and event planning in NAPA. She's been on a health
journey to figure out the root cause behind her autoimmune
disease so she can successfully manage her pcos and s
I s S, and has accrued a healthy amount of
debt in doing so. We're hoping for your advice as
we have thought of what we think might be a
great idea to get us out of debt and increase
our quality of life. We decided we both want to

(43:26):
start and only fans account and create an actual solid
business plan involving a photographer, videographer and account manager. We
want to maintain total anonymity, use fake names and alter
our appearance, and use social media accounts unrelated to either
of us. The only catches this photographer slash manager we
have in mind is someone one of us is newly dating.

(43:47):
We all feel like if we have clear rules and
legal contracts, we can all make money and maintain professional
and personal boundaries. We're all very level headed, self aware,
pretty chill individuals that feel like we can truly be
successful this Are we crazy for thinking this? April is
very comfortable with her sexuality and being naked, and I
have often been called the nudest of the friend group

(44:08):
because I was raised in a European household that embraced
nudity and openness. The couple are both comfortable with the
fact that he will be seeing me naked, and I
believe that he's a solid guy that would be mature
about this. You inspired both of us to begin therapy
over the last couple of years, and we feel so
grateful to have the tools we have at such a
young age. We're excited to free ourselves from debt and

(44:29):
pursue a healthier, more genuine, and happy life. With the
money we will potentially make. Carly country and April showers. Hi. Hi,
Hi Carly in April, Hi, ladies him Let's go, Hi
girl perfect. I have a quick first question, because I'm

(44:58):
almost a hundred years old, I'm pretty sure I know
what it's only friends is only fans. I'm pretty sure
I read an article about it, or listen to a
podcast or something. Can you give me some context so
I make sure that I'm remembering the right podcast or

(45:19):
article that I read. Yeah, so it's social media for
adult content. You can go as far as you want
with what you post. There's like full on porn and
then there's soft porn. You can do just photos, live interacting.
There's like a tipping situation, but it's a platform to

(45:40):
make money. Okay, I got it. I know what we're
talking about. And then there's also like the podcast I
listened to about it was like how stressful it can
be to manage all the d m s and how
you can like farm that out to a company who
will help you with your d m s. Yeah, okay, yes,

(46:00):
what happens in the d M s them like a
man or d M you and he'll want like I
loved that pick, will you do one, you know, with
a lollipop or something like? They'll yeah, and then there's
a transaction and then you do the one that they
want and then yes, okay, I see yes, But it
can be like I mean, and you know what it's

(46:22):
like with you can get so many with social media
and d ms, like it can be a lot to manage. Yes,
that's right. I have them off and then sometimes I
check in on them, and then then I turn it
back off, but okay, so and you guys want to
work together on this as a duo, and you would
be on camera together. We would have our own profiles separate. Yeah,

(46:45):
it would be you know, each other's cheerleaders, and we
would you know, show each other do the photo shoots together,
but not interactive. But we would be starting our own
management business, so we wouldn't have to recent because you
only fans already. So the idea would be to have
someone do the photography and manage. And it happened to

(47:09):
be someone that I'm newly dating, So that's your only
hesitation here. Really, it sounds like is using this person
who you're dating to manage both of you because there's
a couple of hesitations. Oh what else? What else you got?
I'm going to be a nurse practitioner, so being in
the medical field, have to like really be careful about

(47:31):
maintaining anonymity and also is it worth it to have
this out there and potentially be exposed like deep into
my career as a nurse pectitioner. I'm I'm only a nurse,
you know, like whatever, I know you're and she yeah,
yeah that and just yeah, having someone in dating photographing

(47:55):
my friend while I'm there, and also I not quite
sure about the relationship at the moment. It's very new.
Oh well, that's a big one. That's a big one
because if you're if this is you're dating someone who's
going to manage you guys professionally, but you're not sure
of the longevity of that relationship in the dynamic and

(48:17):
how it might change. And then they're a business partner.
That's the biggest flag here for me, right, My biggest
flag is I don't know if this is going to
be as lucrative as you need it to be unless
you can like make it your full time thing. Because
the podcast I listened to, but what my one source

(48:37):
of information made it sound like what seems like a
side hustle becomes your full time job if you want
it to be really lucrative. Have you examined the real
financials here? Yes, we've you found. Yeah, Like we both work,
I mean already forty five hours a week, so we're

(48:58):
not looking for something to add on, you know, something tremendously,
but we're also looking for a way to make some
extra money to get us at a debt that will
be kind of fun and enjoyable in a weird way
back that they're driving for Uber. But I would prefer
to just have fun with my best friend and take
some classy photos and if we make some money off it, great,

(49:19):
But I think realistically what it would come down to
as an additional you know, fifteen twenty hours a week
of messaging, that's kind of what we think. We also
got to like if we do one big you know,
shoot sort of say, and we set ourselves up for
the months or the next couple of months, and we
can you know, put those out every day and have

(49:41):
it be we spend like a day doing it and
so it can automatically post every day. So like messaging
and staying consistent is a big part of it. But
I think if we set ourselves up for that, then
maybe it could say sometimes that's what I'm thinking of.
I'm thinking of sweat equity versus real money versus I
heard autoimmune disorder. I know stress can be a big

(50:04):
trigger for that, and so those are all the things
I'm thinking, just as like I'm putting my entrepreneurial cap on.
This is my business partner. She loves a list. She's
gonna list it out for you. Chase where are you
on this? We totally took this one over. I'm sorry.
I love it using the guy that you're dating. What

(50:24):
is that there's some sort of financial upside to that?
Are like, are you saving a management fee? I'm confused
about that aspect. So he is a photographer videographer already
for his job, he works for a gym that's trying
to create a lifestyle brand. He's very good and he
I mean, I don't know if we're getting a discount
any He's not charging us up front. He is going

(50:47):
to get a cut, and he was going to figure
out the ins and outs of automatic posting, timing, managing
our Twitter account so that we can keep you know,
the advertising flowing to make it a lucrative business. But
I'm kind of at the point where I'm like, if
if that relationship isn't going to continue, which I'm not

(51:08):
sure of yet, what does that look like if do
we hire him for the first shoot and pay him
up front and have a contract that says this is
all you're doing and we just use his photos, or
do we like let him kind of dive into the
whole process and like actually take a percentage of our income. Yeah,
I think contractually, Like you really have to have everything

(51:29):
in black and white, because you cannot be in business
with somebody that you just started dating. Like that is
not a good idea. You have no idea what kind
of person. You know, you don't know what happens in
relationships people, you know what I mean. It's just that's bad,
bad idea. I understand he comes with some advantages, but
like the legal paperwork that would be required to make

(51:50):
this sustainable is going to cost you more money than
you might make in the first few months of doing
only fans, you know what I mean, Like, you really
need to have it in black and white, like if
you stop dating or you know, like how does it work?
Does it work? By Like, Yeah, I love the idea
of doing a shoot day, and that's what you do
for the you know, and you sprinkle it out through
the rest of the month. Of course, that's the most
time efficient way to do it. That's how I do

(52:11):
social media, you know, that's what a lot of people
do for many things. But getting into business with some
guy that you're dating just as not a kosher idea.
So you have to figure out a way around that
unless you have somebody like a lawyer that's in your
family or a friend of yours that's going to drop
this paperwork for you. That will make it very clear
the split that they get, and you have to have

(52:32):
like a very big boundary conversation about what happens if
you guys don't continue dating. It's just that's that part
is pretty that sounds messy. Yeah, he is a very
level headed person and a lovely person. He grew up
with two sisters and just his mom, so like he's

(52:53):
very intuned to women and I do trust him. Yeah,
but everyone's level everyone's levelheaded and getting until they're not.
So just don't you can't trust that until you know
somebody for a long period of time, what's gonna happen? Yeah,
I mean just kind of looking at the low hanging fruit.
If anonymity is really important to you, maybe there's a

(53:16):
business opportunity here that doesn't have you on camera at all.
Like it's not necessarily as sexy quite literally, But you know,
you've talked about the things that people hate about doing
only fans. It's the paperwork, it's the d m NG,
it's the all this stuff that's just like hours from
their day. Maybe there's a business opportunity for you to

(53:38):
be the business behind only fans creators who are already successful,
providing these sorts of resources for them, so like they
can offload that stuff to you. Maybe it's for a cut.
I mean, from what you read, a lot of a
lot of people on there are making gobs of money,
so they're not going to care what it costs just
to be able to offload all the business side. And

(53:59):
as you've said, you've business minds, you know how to
create a business plan and you know, basically be consultants. Yeah, yeah,
that is funny. And then I I recently at the
month who I really like, and I'm already thinking like
I'm going to tell him I'm going to do only fans.
Like I'm kind of embarrassed, and I'm like, maybe that's
internally something saying more than what I'm really reflecting on. Perhaps,

(54:22):
But well, I would definitely listen to all of that,
you know, because that's that's what you're feeling inside, if
you're worried about that. But I think there might be
a business opportunity here. But more like what Catherine's saying, right,
maybe you can start a snage management company for Yeah,
that's a great idea, Catherine. Actually I think you should, yeah,

(54:43):
look into that. And then how would they go about that,
contacting people who are on only fans and like contact Yeah,
because I'm sure that I'm sure those people who was
It's Black China or something made ten million dollars a
month last year on only fans or something month a month.
Money for successful and and your your average gal like

(55:04):
non famous person. There's been girls that make up to
twelve fift thousand a month. Everything that I've read, that's
extremes and that's that's hard work, consistent posting. Yeah, I
just want to pay off my student loans. You're looking
to like a side scratch, right, like a little side hustle.

(55:26):
This sounds like if you really want to make a
lot of money, it's a full job, is what it's
sounding like. Yeah, And I just want to point out
your tattoo. If you're looking about remaining anonymous, we talked
about that, covering them up. Oh, I see, okay, And
then I mean I think, yeah, I don't think anyone
gives a ship anymore. Like if a nurse is getting

(55:47):
nude on the side, who cares? You know what I mean? Like,
what is that shouldn't matter. Yeah, it's not like you're
a congresswoman. I mean, look what they get away with.
I know, I know, I guess nurses should get public
this too. We can manage that only fans for medical professionals.

(56:09):
That could be your stick, that could be your you know.
You guys can always also like experiment. Whenever I have,
like a new idea or a new business idea, they
don't always all bloom into something amazing. You've mentioned a
few things that you're a little nervous about, Like you
could try doing a shoot, and maybe after doing one

(56:33):
photo shoot, you're like, what it turns out that was weird.
It was super weird that my boyfriend was seeing your nudy.
And we're gonna now forget that happened and we're just
gonna come up with a new idea. And that's okay
to Yeah, I do like a test shoot. See if
the photos even turn out. If you loved it and
the photos turn out great, you have them, you know,

(56:56):
But just because you do it one time doesn't mean
it has to be a thing you're doing or we Actually,
you can keep checking in with yourself, you know, keep
asking yourself, is this still right for me? Does this
still feel like a thing I want to do? Do
I have time for this? Is this a match? Yeah?
And there's also other people who know how to take

(57:17):
pictures who aren't your boyfriend. H Yeah. Yeah, I have
a little bit of photography experience, so I could at
least get like the lighting and everything. So that's what
we're saying, like we could do this, But I think
what we were trying to offload was the hours of
work of editing photos and posting because we do work
full time. So and with somebody who you like, you're

(57:39):
you're kind of trusting because you have a personal connection
relationship with Yeah, yeah, right. I think either way, whether
you decide to like do a shoot or get into
this full time, or maybe do some business or social
media management, talk to a few people who are doing this,
find out what the pain points are, what do they
love about it, what do they hate to about it?

(58:00):
And actually like rather than you know, just reading articles,
talk to somebody who's really doing it. You know, you
maybe even pay them for their time through only fans
as what they hate about it. End those pain points.
That's what is going to show you where the business
model is. I actually do know someone, Yeah, pretty closely,
that does it? Yeah? Yeah, perfect a female. Yeah, so

(58:21):
I could message her, Yeah, do some research, some information gathering,
and let that inform you to see if you want
to really take the next step. Yeah, yeah, that's great advice.
But I love that you girls called into the podcast
to see if you should go on only fans. That's
a or like Chelsea will tell us like it is,

(58:45):
and thank you for calling in with champagne. Ladies. We're
going to have a day. April lives in Napa, so
we're gonna go and have a day in Napa. Nice lovely.
Make sure to get some picture scarls. Yeah, we'll be
practicing after our wine tours. Perfect. Well, thanks, let us

(59:08):
know what happens. We'll do by that's really real over here. Yeah, seriously,
I can't believe that's our first callers that called with
drinks in their hand. Actually, that's actually good. Yeah. Well,
let's take a quick break and we'll be back to
wrap up with Angela and Jenna and we're back. Hi.

(59:34):
Oh guys, what a delight that was today. Angela and Jenna.
It was so nice having you both together and on
on our show. Thank you, Thank you. So much for
having us. I'm now going to be your best friend,
your other bust friend. I'm gonna be texting you where
I'm gonna be emailing perfect. I love texting, I love emailing.
I love all of it. Amazing. Well, do either of

(59:56):
you have any advice questions you'd like to ask? Chelsea?
I have one. You go first, Okay, Chelsea. Ski season
is upon us. I am a new person to skiing
and I love it. My family learned how to ski
during the pandemic. We relocated to Santa Fe to be

(01:00:17):
with family. We were locked down together and I don't
know if you've skied in Santa Fe, but the ski
mountain is about twenty minutes away from town, so we
could go daily every other day. It was the best
way to learn how to ski. So I learned to
ski at forty seven years old and I love it.
My kids love it, my husband loves it. I am

(01:00:37):
here for any skiing advice. Is there any kind of
ski accessory that you cannot live without? So? Which mountain
were you skiing? Not tos No, that's a little too
hard for me. We were skiing at Ski Santa Fe.
Santa Fe has its own ski Mountain Ski Santa Fe.
That's where I learned how to ski. Now I've sent

(01:00:58):
skied other places, but I'm I'm Green's and easy groomed blues.
That's my That's where I'm at. My family is all advanced.
Even my children are skiing blacks. Okay, I see, I see,
I see. Well I love that. First of all, how
great is it to pick up something when you're forty seven.
I'm forty seven too, and I love when people talk

(01:01:20):
about a new sport that they learned, because some people
just think it's too late for things, you know, and
that's never true. So that's so exciting. First of all,
there's a great, great woman named Taras Shackty on Instagram
who makes these adorable ski suits. So, I mean they're pretty.
You kind of get noticed when you're wearing them, but
they're fun to wear. Every once in a while, she
just DM me with her new winter styles or colors. Well,

(01:01:45):
I'm definitely here for that. I got my ski pants
off Amazon, so I'm in. I'm in the market for
maybe an upgrade this year. So her Instagram is t
A R A s h a k t I and
she has the cutest snowsuits other than that, do you
have your heated gloves and heated boots? No, No, I
just shove the little handwarmers and toewarmers in. But I've

(01:02:09):
been wondering, I've been skeptical. Is this really a cool
thing to have the heated ones? Yeah, you should get mits.
Mits keep your hands warmer than the gloves than putting
your five your fingers get warmer. So I have a MIT,
but I just put like a you know, a handwarmer
in the in the top. Yeah. I would get heated
gloves and heated boots. And it is a game changer.

(01:02:30):
So then you like because it just as long as
you are comfortable when it does get really cold, that
will change everything. And it's so nice because if it's
not cold enough, you can just turn it off and
you don't need it. But it's such a nice luxury
to have. And I'm so surprised by so many people
on the mountain who are like, do those really work?
It's like, yeah, they work. I mean I ski in
Whistler work it gets really frigid, so you need warmth

(01:02:51):
and stuff. But I think that really, like, you know, comfort,
when you can be comfortable while you're skiing, it's the best.
And then I would just say for a technique and stuff.
I always someone once just told me, you know when
you're pole planting and learning how to poll plant, because
for a long time I didn't know what to do
with my poles. I was just like, no, I don't
even need them. But when you're pole planting, it's nice
to think of taking your poll as like getting you

(01:03:13):
down the mountain. You know, every time you plant, you're
turning down the mountain, and that way you're in control
of the mountain. The mountain is not in control of you.
All right, I'm so excited. It's like it's coming up
and I didn't love my boots last year, or so
I'm gonna try to upgrade my boots. Yeah, you should
try and get customized boots because when then they mold

(01:03:35):
them to your feet and then that way you're just
because boots are so tricky, like if I have to
wear my if I have to wear any other boots
than my own, like when you're trekking up a mountain,
you you have to get different boats. I can't even believe.
I can't think of this term. What the touring? Sorry, yeah,
I see people doing that. I don't like that. I
like to ride up a chairlift and then go down

(01:03:55):
the mountain. I don't want any exercise. Yeah, when you
have your own customized boots where you get molded it
for them, that makes the hugest difference too, because then
your feet and are like locked in and your ankles
are locked in, and the feeling of security is just
so much better. Okay, see, I think you know I
I kind of wanted to make sure before I spent
all that money, and I like really committed. I'm like,

(01:04:15):
am I committed to this sport? But as Angela knows
I am. Now we are in. We you are so in.
I mean we are. We watch when it's snowing and
we go follow the snow. We've become obsessed. So just
set yourself up for success. It's okay. The investment is
worth it always. Yeah, yeah, thank you. I love a
ski question. Okay, I have a question, Okay, dare Chelsey. So,

(01:04:41):
I had a hard time during the pandemic because I
love to have people over and hang and that was
a real hard thing for me, just missing having people over.
So one of the things I used to do every
year was I had a Yankee swap Christmas party something
that started on the show The Office, if you watch it,

(01:05:02):
we had this whole Christmas exchange and I decided, it's
like the classy what was it, Jenna's like the white
elephin gift, right, So I started having that party here
at my house and it got so rowdy and so
fun and people go crazy. They Jenna's gift is always
a big hit. You've brought the water hose one year
and Oscar Nunia started chan and give them the hose

(01:05:22):
like it's like the trade start happening and people have
a really good time. And I really want to bring
my Christmas party back this year. And I get this
taco guy and he's amazing. He has this whole setup.
But I've never hired anyone to do drinks. Everybody just
makes their own drinks. But I really wanted to make
a margharita, like a great margharita and have a picture

(01:05:43):
of margarita's out, and I just feel like, you know
how to make a good margharita, And I would love
your MARGARITEA recipe. Oh it's pretty basic. I mean I
don't like them too sweet? Do you like them? So
I don't either I don't like sweet. That's my thing.
And I feel like I feel like I have a
memory of you somewhere on a deck talking about a margarita,

(01:06:04):
and I was like, I want to ask her. I
know there's a lot of big life questions I could
ask you, but I really want your margarita. I like
Don Julio Blanco. For me, I like the silver tequila.
I don't like smoky tequila. I like silver tequila, so
Don Julio Blanco is my favorite. I use tons of
fresh lives. They have to be fresh, squeeze lives. You
have to do that, like massive amounts. And I'm writing

(01:06:25):
this down and the way to avoid the sweetness is
to get you know, quantros. What makes it sweet? So
instead of quanto because a lot of people like a
little bit of sweet, I just personally don't like that.
But what's better than quantro is just a nice gave
that you put a tiny bit of a gove in.
And there's tons of different brands of organic a gave
that you can use. But Margarita's season is not upon

(01:06:47):
us yet. I haven't had margarita as yet. When this
Margarita season, I guess now, Oh yeah, I drink when
I ski, I have Margarita's. That's what I drink, Margarita's.
I was in Spain, so they don't make margaart ITA's
in Spain, and anytime you try to order one, it's
terrible because people don't realize Spain is not Mexico. It's
a totally different scenario. But yeah, agave instead of quanto,

(01:07:09):
and then that cuts the sweet in half, and just
use fresh lime and never use a mix ever. Okay,
And and then the silver tequila is key. Yeah, Okay,
I wrote it down. I'm very excited. I'm gonna make one.
I'll let you know about it. Okay. Great, that's the
only rule of recipe I know. So I'm glad that's
the one, the one you asked for. Amazing. Well, thank

(01:07:30):
you so much for joining us. This is so fun.
I loved it. Thank you guys so much. I just
love your podcast so much. Can I come back next week?
And I come back anytime? You girls? Thank you a
great gig. Oh yeah, I know we do. It's so
much fun and we're so delighted to have you guys.
Thank you so much. You were both such pleasures. Thank you,

(01:07:50):
and I hope to see you both soon. I hope
so too. Okay, I would love it. Okay, take care
of guys. Bye bye bye. So I am winding up
my stand up tour. Vaccinated in Horney is coming to
a screeching halt at the end of the year. I
have my last dates coming up, and these are the
last opportunities. You have to also buy merch from the

(01:08:13):
website Chelsea Hammler dot com if you want Vaccinating Horny
captain's hats that say We're the Captain's now for women only,
our t shirts for men and your family that say
I'm sorry because they should be. I only have a
few dates left Concord, New Hampshire, Wooster, Mass wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania.
Wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania. There I said it, and then San

(01:08:36):
Diego and Riverside, California, and then Baltimore, Maryland, and then
my very last date is December six in Reading, Pennsylvania.
If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can subscribe
to Dear Chelsea that is our podcast, and you can
rate us if you want. Yeah, that's a great idea.
It actually makes a huge difference for this podcast, for

(01:08:57):
any podcast that you like some scribing giving it a
rating actually make a huge difference in who all it
gets served too, and helpfully spread the word Okay, yeah, yeah,
subscribe and and and and comment yeah and follow. So
if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an
email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear

(01:09:18):
Chelsea is a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced
by Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and
engineered by Brad Dickert.