I’m Here So I’m Gonna Win with Mikaela Shiffrin

The greatest Alpine skier of all time (yes, men included), Mikaela Shiffrin, joins Chelsea this week for a heart-to-heart.  Mikaela discusses recovering from an accident while simultaneously nursing her fiancé back to health, working through grief after losing her dad, plus letting it all go when the pressure gets to be too much - and winning anyway. Then: A skier wonders how to get back on slopes after an injury.  A girlfriend gets the ick even though she knows she’s found Mr. Right. And a fiancé wants to use her grandmother’s engagement ring - and her stepmom is holding it hostage.

*

Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

*

Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

*

*

*

*

*

The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, Hello Catherine.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hi Chelsea, Hi, Hi, you.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Are fresh off your Vegas residency.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
It was so ridiculous. We kicked it off. We kicked
off my Vegas residency. It was fucking epic. I had
the thunder from down Under guys carry me out on stage.
They were like, should we do this? I'm like, I
don't see why not. And then I had Natasha Lazeiro
open for me.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Oh fantastic.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
I hadn't gotten to perform with her in like twenty years,
so that was fucking so much fun.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
I had a bunch of friends come.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Of course, we all went gambling after, and even though
I left with less money than I started with, I
was supporting my whole table with their gambling because once
everyone ran out of money, I started handing out chips,
you know how I.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Like to do that.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Of course, So I consider it to be a huge
win anyway, because I still left with money and I
didn't blow it all, and I'm just so excited about
this residency. We flew in at like four o'clock. I
went down to the bar, made some surprise drinks for
some customers because they have a Chelsea drink there now
in my honor excellent Chelsea at the cons of my

(01:08):
hotel and then yeah, I can't. I'm just it was
really fun and it's it was huge. I was like, whoa,
this is a big deal. So yeah, my next dates
are November second and November thirtieth, and then all throughout
the year. So check my schedule. Mofos and this week
and I'm coming to Foxwood's in Connecticut and Portland, Maine.

(01:29):
I'm going to be in performing in Oh my gosh,
do you have somebody Importland, Maine.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
We went to a gorgeous restaurant called Eventide, and we
started chatting with the bartender and her name was also
Catherine with a seat and you know, she says, what
do you do? And we started talking about podcasts and
all those of the podcast on she goes, oh, Chelsea
Hndler's been in here.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
So I was like, great, that's perfect.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
So you've got to go back to Eventide and say
hi to Catherine if you're there.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Is that in Portland?

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yes, in Portland, Maine.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Is there a like a bar in the middle of
the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yeah, it's like a big bar in the middle of
the restaurant, part oyster bar, part bar bar.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yes, yeah,
that's cute. That's cute.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
I'm on an oyster kick lately, so I'm really going
after it. Doug did not make it to Vegas. He
came to my show on Friday night, and he's such
a dream boat.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
I mean he is so affectionate with men too.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
Now, oh good, Yeah, he.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Is really just he's getting better and better and better.
It's like I want to do like an ambastardorship for chows.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Got a rebrand?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, I want to rebrand chows.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
They really are sweet dogs.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
I think they get a bad rap because they were
like bread for fighting, but like they're really really mushy.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah. I mean they're originally from China, so whatever that means.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Just like pugs, we both have Chinese dogs.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, I mean who knew?

Speaker 5 (02:47):
Who knew?

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, this week we have an awesome gas.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I'm just so happy to have this person on my podcast.
For those of you who do not follow skiing, she
is the winningest skier of all time, and yes that
is the word they use. She has broken every record
in skiing. She is the ultimate champion and I just
am in such awe of her and her name is
Mikhayla Schiffrin and I get the pleasure of speaking with

(03:11):
her today. Please welcome Mikayla Schiffrin. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeay, yay.
I'm so excited to introduce our very special guest today
because it's very hard to pin this woman down. She's very,
very fucking busy. Okay, she is. She's not gonna like

(03:33):
this intro. She's gonna get shy, but I don't care.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
She is the.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Winningest alpine ski racer of all time. Or you could
also refer to her as the greatest alpine ski racer
of all time. Or you could refer to her as
a two time Olympic champion and a seven time World
champion and a five time overalled World Cup champion. This

(03:57):
woman is fucking phenomenal. And her name is Mikayla Shiffrid. Welcome, Mikaela.

Speaker 5 (04:02):
I'm dying.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
I know, thank you.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
I know you're shy and that you're low key, and
that this is embarrassing for you, and that was my intention.

Speaker 5 (04:12):
I expected nothing less, No, thank you. That was amazing.
Oh my god, how are you.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oh I'm so happy to see your face. This is Catherine,
my producer. Hi, welcome to Dear Chelsea.

Speaker 5 (04:22):
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I know, I'm so happy I get to see you
face to face. Finally.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
We've DMed before and you've talked a little bit, you know,
little short messages, but we've never really gotten a chance
to talk. So I know you're so busy and that
you just came back from Paris and you got to
be a spectator. So yes, first tell me what that
was like, because it must have been so nice to
watch people perform and be at their at their best

(04:47):
without actually having to do much on your own.

Speaker 6 (04:50):
You're totally right, it was. I was kind of like,
m this spectating thing is pretty nice. It was amazing.
I mean, those athletes, they're insane, and even the athlete
who don't win, the athletes who are maybe expected to
win and don't win, but you're like, you're just I
don't know. Somehow, taking a step back and watching it
from that perspective opened my eyes a little bit to

(05:11):
Like when we're there and I'm racing and I'm feeling
the pressure and I feel like it's the be all
end all, like this is the end of the world,
and I'm looking back at it, I'm like, holy shit, no,
Like everybody here is really good and this is like
a really good show. I don't know if it takes
pressure off or it puts pressure on or it changes
that at all, but it just gives me like a
little bit of perspective.

Speaker 5 (05:32):
It was super inspirational, so it was good time.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Well, it was also very poignant as a woman.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
The whole conversation around mental health and what happened with
Simone Biles just really kind of kicked this Olympics off
in a way that made everybody aware of the power
of being an athlete and the power of actually taking
care of yourself right, and the power of standing up
for yourself in a sport, which was just true of

(05:58):
most sports where people don't aren't allowed the room to
stand up for themselves, or they have male coaches that
are in a complete dysfunctional power dynamic where you're just
being worked worked, worked, worked worked, And I just thought
it was so empowering to have someone come back and
kick ass in the way that she did. And then
all the other female athletes who got gold medals, and

(06:20):
all of the black female athletes that got gold medals, ye,
and the black excellence that we saw, you know, during
these Olympics, it was on full display. So I know
you talk a lot, You've spoken a lot about your
own mental health and your own journey its struggles, however
you want to frame it. So what was it like
for you as an athlete having experienced all of those

(06:41):
things seeing it demonstrated and spoken about in this very
public way.

Speaker 6 (06:46):
I think that the whole experience made me feel really grateful,
like really appreciative. Like I was actually thinking about this
last night, not to be weird, but in the shower,
like where I do most of my thinking thinking about someone.
So I was like, shit. She tweeted something about, like
stop asking us what we're gonna do right after we

(07:06):
win an Olympic medal, like I'm gonna go babysit my medal,
that kind of thing, and I was laughing at it.
So I was like, that is true, and good for
her for actually calling that out, because I always wait,
I walk away from those conversations like why am I
so frustrated that this person is interested in what I
want to do with my life and what I'm doing
after this. But the fact is you're like I didn't

(07:28):
have like a really really thought out plan for the
next three month. Like we were like, we're just trying
to get here so far, so like we're kind of
making it up as we go. But the other side
of it is nobody really knows how to say thank
you face to face. Like honestly, all we really want
to say to her is thank you.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Right, yeah, on behalf of female athletes, you know, yeah,
I hear what you're saying, and I know that you've
had a lot of similar experiences although it's a completely
different sport. It's so interesting to look at all the
different sports, right because there's like in Mikaela's sport, there's
different disciplines. She trains for different disciplines, which is kind
of unheard of. You have to have like completely separate

(08:08):
training programs. She's not just doing one thing, she's doing
multiple things. And for a lot of these athletes, like gymnasts,
they are also doing multiple things. They're doing floor routines,
they're doing the uneven bars, they're doing the horse and
all of those things. But for you, Mikaela, I know
you've been through tough times. I know your dad passed away.
You've spoken about that publicly, very beautifully and you started
a foundation in his name. You went through a difficult

(08:31):
season understandably so after your dad passed away, and the
next year you came back and basically broke every record
that was possible. So for men and women, I mean,
she has more or wins than men and women. So
so tell us a little bit about that now that
you have some perspective and what you learned and where

(08:51):
your greatest source of strength came from, because I know
you must have felt so so low at times and
not wanting to even compete and then you know, not
competing well or at your best, and how you turn
that around because it's all so similar.

Speaker 6 (09:06):
Yeah, I think our greatest source of strength is time.
It's just being able to give yourself the grace of
taking time. And we don't really we're not trained to
do that as athletes. We're trained to be faster and
to go faster and to do things better and quicker
and stronger, and it's all like strength is taken very literally.

(09:27):
It's like how much weight can you squat and whatever,
how fast you can get down the mountain. And for me,
that first season after my dad passed was like this
grace period season in my own mind, it was like,
I just want to actually figure out. That whole season
for me was helping me decide if I still wanted

(09:47):
to be a ski racer. And I just didn't want
to quit before I gave myself a real chance to try.
But there were so many points during that season where
I just wanted to stop. I mean, I think it
was about a week and a half before going to
the Olympics. I remember having this race I just had
COVID twenty twenty two, was two years after my dad

(10:09):
had passed away. But you're still like, Okay.

Speaker 5 (10:11):
I want to be doing this. But even then, I was.

Speaker 6 (10:15):
At a ski race in Austria and I was fifth
after the first run, not that far off. I had
a chance to pull back time in the second run
and potentially win, and I was having like a full
on breakdown with my mom in the car.

Speaker 5 (10:32):
In the parking lot.

Speaker 6 (10:32):
We didn't go to like the athlete hospitality that's what
they call, but it's really a tent and a parking
lot at the bottom of a ski race.

Speaker 5 (10:39):
It's just like where we go between runs.

Speaker 6 (10:42):
But we had gotten off in our separate space and
I was bawling. I was like, I want to go home,
and she's like, you're not. You didn't ski that bad,
like you have a good chance at this race. I'm like, no,
it's not about that. I'm so tired. I just spent
almost two weeks in quarantine. The Olympics are coming up,
and into two weeks I had COVID as close to

(11:03):
the games as you could possibly have it without it
keeping you from being able to participate, which means you're
stuck inside basically in a hotel room for ten days
right before you go to the Olympic Games. I was like,
I'm just tired. I'm tired from not doing anything. I'm
tired from not being able to train, like training and
skiing gives me life. And I'm just so frustrated and

(11:24):
I don't care about this race this like this race
has nothing to do with it or whether I win
or not. Like that's really I couldn't care less, but
I want to I just want to be home. The
thing that would make me feel good right now is
by booking a plane ticket home. And she was like, Okay, okay,
let's just get through the second run and then we'll

(11:46):
get back to our lodging and we'll book the ticket
and I was like, Okay, I can do that, and
then I ended up pulling back. It was like I
had given up and then ended pulling back the race,
winning the race. It was this whole historic thing because
this first time that the women had raced and schladming,
which is normally a men's venu, and it was this
whole exciting ordeal and I was just like totally withdrawn

(12:07):
from the whole thing. And it was the first time
that I actually drank the champagne bottle that they gave up,
and it's like a big it's a big bottle. I
was like, give that fucking thing. It was just like
I don't know exactly where I'm going with that.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
No, I hear your story, But what do you think
of that? Do you look at that as like a lesson?
Do you think because I mean, it's so true in
the moments where we're ready to give up and I'm
pleasing I'm not grouping myself in with you as an athlete,
but in the life moments that we're all ready to
give up, that's when miracles do happen.

Speaker 5 (12:41):
You know.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
It's where like all of your training, all of your discipline,
all of your expertise kind of comes in sometimes when
you're not available to do it yourself, everything else works
for you, like.

Speaker 6 (12:53):
The instinct that you've trained actually takes over. Because I
just didn't have a capacity to think or to really
care at that point, right, So then I was just
like purely skiing and it was one of the best
runs I've ever taken. It was like raw, I almost
want to say, unemotional. It was just skiing and it

(13:13):
was a pretty pivotal moment for me. But then all
I needed was just to get through this moment. I
just needed to put one foot in front of the other.
I just needed time and it's going to take longer
than that, and it, you know, I didn't like I
struggled through the Olympics, and I struggled on and off
that season. I also had amazing results. I won some

(13:33):
races and it wasn't a bad season altogether. It was
just like it was just a mentally and emotionally challenging season,
and every season presents something that's challenging. So since then,
I've just been like time and breathe through it, and like,
when I'm feeling really shitty, just give myself the grace

(13:53):
of time.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
And then season twenty twenty three, which was last year
when you went buck wild one race after another.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
I can't even tell you.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
It was just And I have friends in the ski
that run the US ski and snowboard teams, so they
are always updating me on Michael information if I'm not
in the country or something, because I just I just
fucking love watching you excel. I mean, it just brings
me such joy. And I can only imagine how your
own fucking mother feels. I mean, she must be bouncing
off the walls. But how did that feel when you came?

(14:24):
Like I mean, and I know it's not effortless, of
course it's not. It's years and years of training and
it's and it's talent. It's innate talent that you are
honing all of the time.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
So how did it feel? Well, how does it feel.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
When you're on a run like that and you keep winning,
you keep coming in first.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Does it feel lucky?

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Like do you feel like, Okay, finally I'm in charge
of this or does it feel fragile?

Speaker 5 (14:46):
That is so interesting.

Speaker 6 (14:48):
It feels kind of a mix of everything, Like it's
on the one side, it's knowing that that run could
end at any moment, because it really depends on how
the other athletes are skiing and if they figure it out,
if they change their sk boots and that boot just
gives them a little extra power, and all of a
sudden they figure out their timing and they just and
they're just become faster. Like those are things that were

(15:09):
sort of that's what we're battling every race, and this
season I just had the edge on everyone more often
than not. And then there was a whole record that
was the that was the record season, and I was
in this mindset where I was like, I don't care
about the record. I don't care about it, and I'm

(15:29):
and people are gonna ask and I'm used to them asking,
so that doesn't even bother me anymore. And I did
a pretty good job. My whole team, we all did
a really good job to kind of put that whole
thing aside, so we really just focused on the skiing.
And it's like sometimes the season with the seasons with
the most opportunity, where most people would start to get greedy,

(15:51):
I tend to like settle in and just be like, well,
one race at a time, one training day at a time,
Like I'm not taking this for granted. I'm this might
I might not win tomorrow, so I'm like gonna do
the best that I can today and then we'll focus
on tomorrow when it happens. And I just am really
really present in the moment. And that was how that
season was. It was just like not fragile, but just

(16:13):
like very grateful. I guess the headline for the season
was gratitude. Those are my best seasons ever, is when
I'm just kind of feeling grateful.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, And I think that applies to a lot of
different things too, you know. I think when you do
have the gratitude for what your experience, the abundance does come.
Because she didn't just break the record, she just kept
breaking it and breaking it over and over again. And
then this past season she got hurt. You tore your mcl.

Speaker 6 (16:37):
Right MCL then, and I explained my ankle, which sounds
like so stupid, but that thing.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
That is what hurt the most.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
So ny and ankle.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
I just can't take any of your injuries seriously because
they don't seem to keep you down for very long.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
So I'm sorry for my lack of my lack of combassion.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
Nobody knew nobody knew about the ankle because I didn't.
I was like, oh, I hurt my knee, but the
ankle kind of we it later. It doesn't matter. Now.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Your fiance was in a brutal ski accident. And this
ski accident was like it was real. It was really
difficult to even hear about. I can't even imagine what
you guys went through. His name is Alexander, and they've
been dating for I think three years, right, mckaiah, right, yep.
So he's in a terrible ski accident, which happened first.

Speaker 5 (17:21):
His happened first. Mine was a couple of weeks later.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
And his correct me if I'm wrong, hit a major artery,
and if he hadn't been on a ski mountain with
professional help so close by, it could have been really disastrous.

Speaker 6 (17:32):
His was life threatening. He missed the artery, thankfully, because
he would have died, but he cut his cat He
basically cut his leg almost clean off, and he severed
a nerve like the most important motor function and sensory
nerve for your entire lower leg. So he completely lost
feeling in his foot and motor control, and the motor

(17:53):
control is now coming back, thankfully. But the feeling is
likely never going to really come back. And his shoulder.
So the leg is actually now in pretty good shape,
but the shoulder, the doctor basically said that his surgeon
basically said, I've been doing this.

Speaker 5 (18:09):
For like twenty years.

Speaker 6 (18:10):
I've never seen an accident a shoulder, Like I just
presented on the worst rotator cuff injuries I've ever seen
two weeks ago, and I wish I was doing that
presentation now because this is the worst I've ever seen,
and we're like.

Speaker 5 (18:24):
Oh good, what does that mean?

Speaker 6 (18:26):
But he he was doing really really well, he was
improving really well, and then this like fluke freak thing
happened a couple weeks ago and he got an infection
in the shoulder and or they found it a couple
weeks ago. It was like festering underneath for a while.
So that's like a fairly big setback. But overall he
is so positive and now he's like, Okay, well this

(18:51):
absolutely sucks, but I'm gonna just these are the cars
I'm dealt now, so let's take that. And that like
he signed up to do some studies like an online
core for the next eight weeks and he can't do
much until he's gone through the course of antibiotics, so
he's like, all right, well we'll make the use of
the time now. And that's for me, that's incredibly inspiring, because,
like you said, my injury was I mean, it was

(19:13):
a big injury, but it was minor in the grand
scheme of things, especially compared to Alex. And I came
back the same season and I won my last two races,
so it was a kind of a bummer, but I
still had a really successful season and I'm just sort
of brushing it off like these things happened. But for him,
I'm like, God, you're so inspiring.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Well, and also, I mean, to be in the same
sport together and to have had bigger injuries than just
your MCL this past season. Not to minimize that, but
you've had bigger injuries. Well, what does it mean for
you to be able to kind of show up for
someone that you love so much when they're in a
situation that you're familiar with as a competitor and then

(19:52):
as a fiance.

Speaker 6 (19:54):
Yeah, well, you know, we see a lot of pretty
horrific crashes and ski racing. For whatever reason, this year
was more than any other season we've had just so
many athletes got bad injuries.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
I mean, if you watch her coming down the mountain,
like when she comes out of a gate when she's
doing downhill, I would rather I mean I would sit
on my ass and just hope to God I could
get down to the mountain.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
You cannot believe the risk on their.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Lives that they are taking every single time someone's ski races.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
It is insanity.

Speaker 5 (20:28):
I know, I know.

Speaker 6 (20:29):
Well, Okay, So a couple back in May we went
to the F one race in Monaco and we met
Yuki Sonoda and Alex and Yuki were like totally had
a romance going, and you know, Yuki was like, wow,
that's so crazy what you do. And Alex was like, well,
what you do is more dangerous, and I was like.

Speaker 5 (20:45):
Whoa well, whoa wa.

Speaker 6 (20:46):
They have a car, like a very very protective, secure
car like fire Through. It's not that it's not dangerous,
it's just we're doing this with literally razor blades and
like you've got like a light fence in front of
the pile of trees, Like we're not protected at all.

Speaker 5 (21:05):
I don't mistake this.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
What we do is really and if one thing goes wrong,
that's a massive injury. Yeah, it's very rare that they
wipe out and like they haven't heard anything.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
I mean, it does happen.

Speaker 6 (21:17):
If you crash, you pretty much get hurt and then
it's just a matter of how hurt you get. But yeah,
so I flew to the hospital to meet him. He
like had the emergency evac went to the hospital in
Switzerland and I went to meet him.

Speaker 5 (21:34):
And I was in Austria.

Speaker 6 (21:35):
So we like my and my family, my brother and
his and my sister in law, they had just arrived.
My mom, she travels with me as my coach. They
all just like, well, we're just coming with you and
we're just gonna help if we can help, or we'll
just keep you company, or we'll like logistically whatever whatever
you need. So we got there and I was there
when Alex woke up from his surgery and the poor

(21:56):
I mean, I've never experienced a situation like this, like ye,
this his accident was on a different level from most
crashes in skiing because the severity of his shoulder and
the severity of his leg. His shoulder was causing him
an insane amount of pain, but they weren't addressing that
because they had to tournique his leg and get him
to the hospital.

Speaker 5 (22:17):
So he had two.

Speaker 6 (22:17):
Hours where his shoulder was out of completely out of place,
and he was just like ten out of ten pain.
He was like pat He kept passing out from the
pain and then wake up in a panic, and he
had seen his own leg and he didn't care about it.
He was like, please fix my shoulder, and they're like, no,
just we'll get to it. And this the whole story
is like horrific. As he's sitting on the mountain and

(22:39):
then he gets taken away by the helicopter and he's
dangling by the rope and then the sled starts spinning
out of control and that made him sick.

Speaker 5 (22:47):
And then like they were giving.

Speaker 6 (22:49):
Him, you know, morphine, which is one of the things
that they give you immediately and that I don't know
if he's allergic to it or what, but he got
really sick from it, which is a common response. So
when he woke up in the hospital, he was asking
about his split times from the race, and I'm just
sitting there like, oh my god. First of all, your
leg is your leg's.

Speaker 5 (23:08):
Gonna be okay.

Speaker 6 (23:09):
You didn't lose your leg, like you can look down,
you can look down at your feet.

Speaker 5 (23:12):
You didn't lose your.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
Leg, And were you the first person who told him that? Yeah,
oh my god.

Speaker 6 (23:18):
And he was like oh, and he's like, I fucked
up my face and like, your face is really surprisingly
not that bad, Like you've got some scratches, but those
are also going to heal. It was just sad because
the last time that I had been in a hospital
in a situation where somebody hooked up to that many
wires was when my dad died. And I was like, okay,

(23:42):
just please don't die, you know. And at that point
he was stable, but it was still he wasn't really
in the clear for the next two weeks because a
lot of like post traumatic head stuff can come up.
And he had you know, full body scan and we
were really checking every part of his body to make
sure there were no other internal injuries or.

Speaker 5 (24:01):
Anything like that.

Speaker 6 (24:01):
But it was just a really really intense first twenty
four hours and then two weeks and then.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
It's still going right.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
But being there for him in that way, especially when
you're saying that about your dad, you're right, It's funny
the way that life works, you know, where these situations
present yourselves and you're like, oh, okay, this I don't have.
Now you have a different experience with that hospital. You
have a different experience with somebody in that state in
that hospital that is surviving, and that that experience was
given to you, even though it's not something you would

(24:31):
ever think to ask for.

Speaker 6 (24:33):
Right It's like, in the immediate time, you like, why
would this happen to someone I love? But then in
the end it's like I kind of see it as
a gift because he has gotten through it better than
we could ever imagine, and he's still going through it.
But it's also like a lesson in mentality about how
these really shitty things happened to people, and like he

(24:55):
he has gone through so much pain and he finds
a way to s smile and say thank you and
look forward to things, and you're just like, okay, it's
just it's all gonna it's gonna be okay. Like even
if it's not okay, it's gonna be okay. When you
have that kind of a mindset, time is the biggest

(25:15):
gift that we have. And if you can just somehow
get through the hardest moments, then you just always you
kind of always come out on the other side like
I'm still somehow okay, And in that moment, I'm like
I had a race the next two two days later,
I think, or like within the next two days, and
I was like, if I don't make it back for

(25:35):
that race, I really don't care.

Speaker 5 (25:37):
It's just the perspective.

Speaker 6 (25:39):
Comes in and you're like, as much as ski racing
is in the forefront for me, like I really don't care.
I ended up making back it back for that race,
and then I won the race. And it was only
because like, if I'm going to leave him to go
to a ski race, then I better fucking win the
ski race. I'm not like, there's no other option here.
And it was it was one of those weird there's
like a demon took over my body because I had

(26:01):
no right to I had slept on the floor of
the hospital. It's like, I have no right to be
winning this race. I really probably shouldn't even be doing it,
but I'm here, so I will.

Speaker 5 (26:10):
I will win.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
But that's your superpower. That's your superpower.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
That's why you're such a fucking badass, because you do
fucking win over and over and over again in dark moments,
and I know you've had, and I like, how do
you feel about Do you feel like your dad's with
you when you ski race?

Speaker 6 (26:29):
No? I mean this is sort of a this speaking
and dark. You know, Everybody's like, oh, I can feel
my life. I can feel my loved ones. I can
feel the people I've lost, Like sometimes when a certain
wind blows, I feel like they're with me, or I
get these moments and a like a quiet I get
these feelings in a quiet moment, They're there, and like,
I have not had that kind of experience, not not

(26:49):
in the way people explain it, and I feel like
I keep expecting it and it's still I just I
think about him a lot. I have dreams about him,
like walking through the door, and I look forward to
these dreams so much and I can't control when they happen,
but when they do, I'm just like, please stay asleep
as long as possible, because then when I wake up,
it's like waking up as a nightmare, which is sort

(27:11):
of shitty, but that's how I feel. But when I'm racing,
you need to focus on what you're doing when you're
ski racing, because it's dangerous. Maybe my superpower is like
the hyper focus people are like, can you just be
a little bit more fun?

Speaker 1 (27:26):
What was one of the moments that you've had where
you were really proud of how you handled yourself.

Speaker 6 (27:32):
Right now, what I'm thinking of is in Beijing, So
you know, I went through the whole I went through
the whole line of media and mix zone after every
time I crashed, and it was like you can either
walk by them and put the you know, the blinders
up and ignore them, and it's a line of like
one hundred or more different media outlets, and I was.

Speaker 5 (27:51):
Like, no, I'm just just gonna.

Speaker 6 (27:54):
Tak And it was right after each race that was
not successful, it was like immediately thereafter, but particularly after
the I think it was the combined race where it
was like, oh, like, you really fucked that up, and
I was like, Okay, well, it's just going to talk.

Speaker 5 (28:09):
To the people and see what comes up. And it's
not that I'm.

Speaker 6 (28:12):
Proud of that, but I'm proud of going through that
and not coming out on the other side totally jaded
and angry at the media for doing their job that
they're supposed to do. That we're very very thankful for
when we win medals and we get put up on
the pedestal and you get sponsorship deals and your marketing

(28:35):
value goes sky high because of the media. They're asking
those questions when you're successful, but when you fail as
an athlete, it's so hard to be like, well, I
just want some privacy now, and you're like, well, that's
not really how this works, because they make me feel
amazing if I won.

Speaker 5 (28:51):
So they're literally just doing a job. I guess I'm
proud of that.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yeah, that's a great answer. I love that answer. Okay,
On that note, we're going to take a break and
we're going to be right with some callers.

Speaker 5 (29:01):
Mckalla.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
You're gonna give out some advice to some strangers. Okay. Oh,
and we'll be right back.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
And we're back with Mikaela, Schiffrien and Doug just joined
us on the couch. Hopefully you can see him in
the video sit down, love her boy.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
It's so hard to see him because oh.

Speaker 5 (29:21):
The couch, I know, beautiful. Thank you well.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
Our first question comes from Ashley.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Is that ski racing related?

Speaker 5 (29:29):
Actually?

Speaker 4 (29:30):
Should we start with that one?

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah, yeah, let's start with it.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Let's war Michaela up, don't worry, we went have you
on the conversation so you don't have to deal with
giving out too much advice, so don't feel too much fresh.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
This comes from Amanda. She's forty.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
Dear Chelsea, I had surgery on my knee this past June,
which is the second time I've blown out my ACL
while skiing to impress but ultimately letting fear make my movements.
The second surgery included an LCL enhancement to really help
my forty year old knee hang in there.

Speaker 4 (29:57):
I'm looking for.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Advice on how to build strengthen my I need this winter,
as well as possibly wearing a brace in the future.
At the doctor, I felt pressure to upgrade to a
fancy ice machine post surgery, and now they're looking to
fit me for our brace. Do braces actually help or
is it better to build the strengthen the knee and
ski with awareness of how the knee is being impacted?
Thanks so much, Amanda.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Oh well that's super interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
She was like a little cagey about like are the
doctors just doing this to make a little extra walk?

Speaker 5 (30:26):
So yeah, no, it's true.

Speaker 6 (30:28):
I mean that is there is a little bit of
that in the medical world, and obviously we're very very
thankful that they're there to take care of us and
fix us up. But so professional athletes, a lot of
us do ski with braces through knee injuries in order
to get back. It's not that it provides more stability.
Really like it's a brace, and it's also a mental brace.
It makes you feel like, okay, it's but it can

(30:50):
also become a bit of a crutch. And so we
are sort of told that as soon as you can
get out of the brace, get out of the brace.
Do with ACL reconstructions and surgeries, you need a brace
for a certain period of time. So it's I don't
know if they're giving you one for they're telling you
to buy it for the next years and years and

(31:11):
years of your life.

Speaker 5 (31:12):
I would say wait on that.

Speaker 6 (31:15):
As long as you have a brace for the short
period of getting through the initial part of this surgery.
But the most important thing is that you build up
the strength. You do the rehab work, you do, the
sort of motor control work, in balance work that is
really necessary for ACL surgeries and repairs, the neuromuscular connection

(31:37):
that is really lacking even after the tendon has healed thoroughly.
So for the next I would say for the next
two years, you really really need to stay on top
of any kind of neuromuscular work, apprope reception, balance training,
and then just your overall strength training, Like ham strings
are really important.

Speaker 5 (31:57):
Ham string is strength is important.

Speaker 6 (31:58):
Quad strength, building back your quad and your VMO is
really important.

Speaker 5 (32:03):
And you can do a.

Speaker 6 (32:03):
Lot of that with very basic tools. You don't necessarily
need to have like a huge squat rack or something
you can do. You can do squats and lunges in
your house and that would be sufficient to kind of
build backstrength. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
And also like mckel is a professional skier, so like
you're not.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
This woman doesn't sound like she's racing, like doing any
downhill Chicana rae. So like she sounds like a casual
skier like me. And if you're like me, first of
all everything she obviously the professional said, but on a
more casual a lay person, Yeah, a layperson, this is
your hobby.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Half the people I know ski with knee braces.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
I ski with knee brace half the time I had
ACL I have meniscus.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
I have all that shit too.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
But the strength training is the most important thing, like
single leg training, single leg squats, always building up your quads,
and your hamstrings and your butt, like I didn't build
my butt.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Enough up and that I paid for that last season.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
So as long as you were constantly really fit, strong, like,
you're gonna be in good stead when you go.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
And it is more of a mental thing to wear
a brace. But sometimes that's good.

Speaker 6 (33:07):
Well it is mental, I did say, But you're totally right.
It's just and she definitely like, you definitely need the
brace in the first the first few months, that first
six month period, and then it's just like you said,
in order to help with stability. It is a mental thing, yes,
but it's like there's a reason they have braces. I
just don't want them to be telling you, like, in
six years, you're gonna need to be skiing with this

(33:29):
knee brace, so you better buy it now, Like that
might not necessarily be true. It depends on your comfort level,
and you're really skiing to have fun and be comfortable.
You're not skiing to win World Cup races, so your
goal is to be comfortable.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
And don't stop trying. Sometimes it in so much pain
when I ski, but I never give up. Just don't
give up. You just don't get a shot at Corvo
or whatever. You need to get through the day and
get down the mountain. Okay, that's how I look at it.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
I thought you were gonna say courtA zone, but no.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
One of those too. A shot a cortizone is great too,
I love those.

Speaker 5 (33:58):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Well, our first caller is Laney and she says she
is planning a wedding like you are.

Speaker 4 (34:07):
Mikayla.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
And she says, my boyfriend and I are planning on
getting married, and I wanted to use my grandmother's ring.
When we asked my dad about it, he was very
excited about the idea. My Greek name is Agatha after
my grandmother, and my boyfriend has the same name as
my grandfather, Nico. We also first met on my grandparents' anniversary,
so it feels sort of like Kismet to use the ring.

(34:28):
We had planned to use the ring with my father's blessing,
and then my stepmother told me that the ring is
hers and I need to quote get over it. I
should add that the ring has been sitting in a
bank for fifteen years, untouched, since my grandmother passed, and
it hasn't been given to anyone directly in the family.
My stepmom, who has been in my licence I was six.
Has always treated me differently compared to my half sisters.

(34:50):
To paint a picture growing up, I was frequently not
included on family vacations, and my first car was a
used Mazda, while my younger sister was gifted a new
S Class Mercedes. Don't get me wrong, I've had a
more than fortunate life. College was paid for and I
have had a roof over my head thanks to the
financial assistance of my dad. But it's come with its
share of challenges, not the least of which was losing
my mom to Alzheimer's three years ago.

Speaker 5 (35:12):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
I really have learned not to ask for material things
because I don't want to get my hopes up only
to be let down. In fact, I fear getting married
because of that stress. But something about my grandmother's ring
holds some sentimental value to me. She's my guardian angel,
and I feel so deeply she would want me to
have it, since I know my stepmom won't budge though.
We've gone ahead and designed something for him to use
when the time comes. But I can't stop thinking about

(35:35):
what other issues can arise with my stepmom as we
move into wedding planning. How can I navigate this tricky
relationship and not get cut off from the sentimental things
and traditions I hold Dear Laney. Oh that's hid Hi Laney, Hi, Lany, Hi, Hi.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
This is our special guest, Mikayla schiffriend today.

Speaker 7 (35:53):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
She's getting married too.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
I am so excited for you. Thanks you too. I'm
so excited.

Speaker 6 (36:01):
I haven't gotten too deep in my own wedding planning,
but just listening to your story, Oh my god. First
of all, I'm sorry that you seem like you have
an incredible attitude after experiencing some pretty tough things with family,
So I'm sorry about that. I'm really inspired by your
just general mentality and attitude. I think it's incredible that

(36:23):
you've had the strength to say, you know, like picking
which battles you want to fight. I don't know, Chelsea,
like you might have better advice here, but I would say, like,
your wedding is your it's your thing, and that's a
place where I would say you need to stand up
for yourself. Is there something you feel strongly and passionate
about and about your own wedding and your own your
own relationship, your own future. I mean it sounds like

(36:46):
you already gave up the thought of this beautiful ring.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
So yeah, did you already give that thought up?

Speaker 5 (36:52):
I don't know.

Speaker 8 (36:52):
I mean I was told that there's not a ring
for me to have. It just thought about, like, oh,
it would be nice. It's so weird because my boyfriend
and I met, we learned it was the day of
my grandparents' anniversary.

Speaker 9 (37:05):
It's just like weird, little.

Speaker 8 (37:06):
Like happenstances kept happening and it would be like really
nice to have it.

Speaker 9 (37:11):
But I was told that there's not a ring. Oop.

Speaker 8 (37:13):
Sorry, a landmower, just lawnmower just drove past me. I
was like, a landmow, Yeah, a landmower. She said, get
over it. It's mine, get over it. Maybe I'll get
it when she's dead, yeah, which she'll be fine.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
I like that she thinks she's entitled to your grandmother's ring.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
I know, likelated, what does that have to do with it?

Speaker 9 (37:34):
But that's okay.

Speaker 8 (37:35):
You know, it is one of those things where you know,
I always feel like my grandparents and my family's has
passed on are always there with me.

Speaker 9 (37:44):
They, for whatever reason, are protecting me over this.

Speaker 8 (37:48):
I don't need to know the reason why I can't
or will not have it, and I've been given other
you know, I have her earrings from the wedding, from
her wedding, I have little pieces.

Speaker 9 (37:57):
Of her that will always be there.

Speaker 8 (38:00):
But I think that right now it's the if this
is the stress over a over a ring, I can't
even imagine the stress over the actual wedding.

Speaker 6 (38:10):
So okay, one thing about the ring. After my dad
passed away, my brother initially we just let him have
my dad's ring.

Speaker 5 (38:18):
It looks like this, this is the one beautiful.

Speaker 6 (38:21):
And I was so distraught that my brother actually gave
it to me, and I think it was sort of temporary,
but he just said, like keep it. And then two
years ago during the race season, I lost it. And
my initial reaction that was it was very painful for
a few days, especially maybe a few weeks, but I
ended up I ended up having one made that remind

(38:43):
and it's really like this, Like you said, it's a
sentimental value and it doesn't have to look exactly like
the ring.

Speaker 5 (38:48):
But you what I would say is you've.

Speaker 6 (38:50):
Created something that's your own with her in mind, in
honor of her, and because of that, the sentimental value
is there.

Speaker 5 (38:58):
So I would say that it's really really beautiful.

Speaker 6 (39:01):
And then the second thought is just stand up for
yourself in the moments about like planning your wedding, leading
up to it and during it where you feel like, no,
this is not what I want and this day is
for me, and that's just you have to stand your
ground there.

Speaker 5 (39:20):
And I hope that there are not too many things
that you disagree on, like very aggressively.

Speaker 9 (39:28):
But I'm pretty go with the flow to be yes.

Speaker 8 (39:31):
You know, my boyfriend's the one who wants the big wedding,
and I'm like, he's the princess and I'm trying to
give him his princess dream.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
Oh Nico.

Speaker 8 (39:38):
So even coming to peace with that part, it's more like, Okay,
I just talked to my psychic today, my medium over
over career stuff, not even about this, and she's like,
you're gonna have the big fact Greek wedding. Just let
it go, move on, Just don't be breadzilla.

Speaker 5 (39:54):
You are an incredible human.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yeah, you get great attitude, totally great attitude, and that's
always going to bring goodness.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
You know your way.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
And if there is a moment that comes up with
your stepmother, how involved is she in your wedding, not very.

Speaker 9 (40:06):
You know, I'm assuming she's going to be very involved.

Speaker 8 (40:09):
My mom passed three years ago, and so you know,
wedding planning in general, like the whole process, Like I
don't know, it's been kind of an emotional thing for me,
thinking like.

Speaker 9 (40:19):
Oh shit, like you know, these are the things that
I want to call my mom about and you know
she's not you know, she's here, but like you know,
picking out the dress and all of that stuff is
I still have a mother figure and she's been with
me in my life for twenty five, twenty seven, I
don't even know how long, but it's it's going to
be different, and she's kind of a great person, but

(40:41):
she's kind of a control break.

Speaker 8 (40:42):
So it's like any little decision I'm going to have
to like go through her, and that's kind of my anxiety.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, I think use this as an opportunity, Like it's
going to be a nice like a little growth spurt
for you, but an opportunity for you to set boundaries
in a very healthy, loving friendly way, like this is
my wedding.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
This is actually my choice.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
You know, I know you're here to help, but I
just have to let you know that I'm going to
be making the final decisions on the things when they
come up. You know, if you have to have a
larger kind of prophylactic conversation with her before anything happens, then.

Speaker 6 (41:14):
Yeah, I would say that if you feel comfortable talking
to her prior, like in the next two days or
whatever and just say like, this is something that's causing
me stress. I really want this to be beautiful for me,
for my fiancee, for all of us, but it's causing
me stress that I'm worried about situations where we're not
going to agree and whatnot, and like what however you

(41:36):
want to word it. But my own therapist just she
always says we honor those we love by being truthful,
and they're right, she's been in your life for so long,
Like you're going to honor your own relationship by telling
her upfront. Like we're getting into this and I am
already stressed, and I want this to be an experience
I look back on lovingly and not regretfully totally.

Speaker 8 (41:58):
I think for me, I need to come to terms
with like I can't make everyone happy. I mean, I've
got my stepmother and then I have like my mother
in law, and those two are two different, totally different people,
and you know, and then myself, and you know, it's
I don't know.

Speaker 9 (42:12):
It all sounds very stressful.

Speaker 7 (42:14):
I don't know it.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
But you can also just move forward in this and
reframe it in your mind, like this is going to
be one of the best experiences of my life and
I'm going to actually go forward with this with confidence
and security in my decision making. And anyone who wants
to join the party is fine, but you don't need
any friction, you know what I mean. And if there
is friction, then that person's not really gonna be welcome

(42:38):
to make all these decisions or join you in making
these decisions. And it's like you're moving into an adult
part of your life. Getting married is a huge decision,
and then going through with it is another huge decision.
And so it's a perfect opportunity for you to kind
of like thrust yourself into like a more mature version
of yourself that does have boundaries and that does have

(42:58):
parameters and people need to meet your needs instead of
you always having to please theirs.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Yes, thank you, so get after it and have a
great wedding.

Speaker 9 (43:08):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Yeah, I have faith in you. I think it's gonna
be awesome.

Speaker 9 (43:12):
I appreciate that. Yeah, thanks so much, guys.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Okay, take care pliny bye.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Okay, So we'll take a break and we're going to
come back with mikaelas Shiffrin, and we're.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Back, all right. Our second caller today is Lauren. She says,
I'm looking for some relationship advice. I'm a thirty nine
year old woman who spent ten years with the wrong guy.
Most of that time was good until it wasn't. About
a month into my new single life, I met my
current boyfriend and we've been dating about a year and
a half. I absolutely was not planning on getting into
a relationship at that time, but what can I say.

(43:46):
We had a lot of chemistry and things just kept progressing.
A little about me, since I think it's relevant. I'm
a kind of private person and I'm not overly affectionate either.
My mom passed when I was nine, and as I'm
sure you can imagine, we did not grow up being
cuddled by my boomer dad, and there really was never
that safe space to be emotional, and I was pushed
into independence early in life. My dad did his absolute best,

(44:07):
but I don't think he knew how to handle my
mom's death and his own feelings, let alone the feelings
of three young kids. So now being soft or overly
loving is really foreign to me. It's not that I'm
not a loving, nurturing person, it's just within intimate relationships.

Speaker 4 (44:20):
So here's where I love your advice.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
There are certain things about my current boyfriend that literally
give me the biggest ick.

Speaker 4 (44:26):
Things like his medical anxiety.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
He'll get heartburn and think he's having a heart attack,
or when he acts super goofy in public, or things
that are small and trivial, like the shoes he wears.

Speaker 4 (44:37):
It's almost like I look at him being like.

Speaker 3 (44:39):
A big dorky baby, and I'm frankly the complete opposite,
tough as nails, tattooed, and.

Speaker 4 (44:44):
I ride motorcycles.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
I'm living my best life right now and almost nothing
can bring me down, whereas he experiences more emotional ups
and downs. This man is the most loving, caring, supportive,
intelligent and handsome person I've ever dated. I've never been
treated so well, So why can't I loosen up and
look past the more trip?

Speaker 5 (45:01):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (45:01):
That is so funny? Do you follow?

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Do you have you ever seen that page, Mikhaela the
Ick No, but.

Speaker 5 (45:07):
I want to wait his boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
It's the Boyfriend X and there's a couple of them.

Speaker 5 (45:11):
Hi, Hi, how are you Lauren? Hi? Lauren?

Speaker 1 (45:15):
I was just talking about this Instagram page called like
the Ick Factor or the Boyfriend X. There's a few
of them, and they basically it's like new Ick Unlocked.
And then they show a guy stepping on a step
stool and they'll.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Be like, don't step on step stools.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
And then they'll be like me, They're like a guy
hailing a taxi and they're like, I liked my boyfriend
until I saw him hailing a taxi.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
They're like, don't hail taxis. And then it goes.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
It goes all the way and they just keept adding
X to the list and it goes basically down to
don't have feet, don't walk, don't bends over. I mean,
it's so true. Listen, I know what you're talking about.
I get picked out by we all do. We're women,
and men are disgusting. They can be so gross. You
have got to take all of the positive things that

(46:02):
you said about him and put that front and center
in your mind. It's almost like playing a trick on yourself.
If a guy was like a hypochondriac too and thought
they were having a heart attack and every time they
had heartburn, That's exactly how I would feel, exactly what
you're describing.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
But you have to let the good outweigh the bad,
which it clearly does.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Otherwise you wouldn't be with him and you wouldn't be
having these feelings. Not everybody is going to fit into
every compartment that we want them to fit, And I
have to have had to learn this lesson multiple times
in my life, but I speak from experience. You have
to turn those negatives into a cute little thing, like
you have to go, oh, isn't that sweet that he's like?

(46:42):
You know, like you kind of have to you have
to like play a trick on your mind. If the
good things do outweigh the bad, which it sounds like
they do, do they?

Speaker 5 (46:50):
Oh yeah, absolutely?

Speaker 7 (46:52):
I think like part of me thinks that this is
probably the healthiest relationship I've ever really been in. So
like I have all this time to sit in focus
on like the really trivial type of ick things that
because I don't have any like other toxic thing to
focus on, So it's just like forefront for me, and
it's like, oh my god, look at the shoes he's wearing,

(47:14):
you know, like i'd so I do. Over the past
couple of weeks especially, been trying really hard to kind
of like, yeah, cutify some of his things, we'll call it,
you know, trying to be like, all right, well, he
has all the things that you knew you were looking
for in a relationship, like the non negotiables, but he

(47:34):
has these other things that slightly throw you off sometimes,
so you know, are.

Speaker 5 (47:38):
They really that bad? And to me they're not. I
just you know, want to make sure.

Speaker 7 (47:43):
I think the biggest one is the one with anxiety,
because it's something that's hard for me to understand. But
that's something that I have to work on on my
own because I need to be more understanding of what
he's going through in his mindset when that when his
anxieties do flare up and he's working on it too.
So so you know the fact that he's even wanting
to work on it is is sexy.

Speaker 5 (48:04):
That's hot.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah, that's hot any guy that wants to work on anything.
And also the shoes, like those are things you can
weigh in on and fix in a loving way.

Speaker 5 (48:12):
Yeah, you can say it.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Yeah, of course, of course you did. Anxiety is a
little trigger. You can't be like, don't have anxiety, even.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
Though that's an ick. You can't say stop it.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
But yes, you have to educate yourself more about what
anxiety means. And actually this is a huge opportunity for
you to grow as a partner and as his lover
or like you want to be there for him in
that way. So he has anxiety, he can't control that,
you know that on an you know, intellectual level, and
like you'll get there. Like he's got all these other
things and you have to stay focused on his positive stuff.

(48:44):
No one is going to deliver to us one hundred
percent of what we want. It's just impossible to expect that.

Speaker 7 (48:49):
Yeah, I think someone said to me. I think it
was my hairstylist who said to me, She's like, you know,
you really have to like pick your ick, right, And
that kind of just such a simple way to say it,
like really resonated with me because you know, I've dated
a ton of other guys I was on a very
long term relationship, and all of them had way worse
issues than my current boyfriend now, and like the icks

(49:11):
that he has are so, like I said, trivial and
kind of silly. So it's like I need to be
like be more accepting of that instead of thinking like
it's a compatibility thing, because we have really great chemistry.
We love being together, you know, just sometimes I just cringe.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
But yeah, and also flip your response to it, like
when he is freaking out or he is having anxiety,
be really sweet, receptive and fake your reaction to it
to see if that changes the exchange between the two
of you and if it exchanges his behavior. Because if
you're telling, like if you're giving the vibe like, oh,
that's discussing, sometimes it becomes even louder. So like, try

(49:49):
and experiment with how you react to him in the
moments where you are icked out and see, because you know,
the best way to change someone else is by changing yourself.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
That's always true.

Speaker 7 (49:58):
So yeah, and I think that'll lead me to some
personal growth too, because of the fact that I do
have that like very closed off side of me where
I'm not very outwardly affectionate or like loving, I think
that maybe that'll help me go like grow in that
direction too. We're trying to flip it and say, Okay,
you know, be more nurturing towards it, more accepting towards it,

(50:19):
and maybe that'll make me a more nurturing person in
the long.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Run, I think.

Speaker 6 (50:23):
So, has he given you any thoughts about what he
would hope to have for you, like what support he
would need from you?

Speaker 5 (50:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (50:30):
Yeah, So he has told me over the past like
year and a half that we have been together, that
I've that I do really help him, like calm down
when he is having anxiety, like when he's spiraling off
the edge, because I'm just such a I don't know,
sometimes I feel like I have no feelings, but you know,
so he has told me that, and he has told
me in times where I haven't been as good with

(50:51):
reacting that like all he wants from me is to
just say like hey, like check in and say like, hey,
are you doing okay?

Speaker 5 (50:58):
Like is there anything I can do for you? Which
I have also tried.

Speaker 7 (51:01):
To, you know, take into my own brain and make
sure that like I am being cognizant of it. But yeah,
he has said some things, not too much, but some things.

Speaker 6 (51:11):
Because it sounds like a part of what of part
of the reason he is attracted to you as well,
is because of your toughness. Actually, yeah, and so there's
like a little bit of this, like potentially that that
might be a little bit of a key to unlock
how you guys can work through some of those things together.
If that's the biggest ick, then figuring out like your

(51:31):
common way to work through it together where you're sort
of meeting halfway and like Chelsea said, like you can't
just get rid of anxiety. It's something that you work
through potentially for a lifetime. But he might be looking
for you to be like, hey, man, like what do
you need? Are you doing okay? But like not necessarily
be like oh.

Speaker 5 (51:50):
My god, come here, like let me like kiss your teek. Yeah,
Like I can't.

Speaker 9 (51:53):
I can't.

Speaker 5 (51:54):
I can't coddle. I can't coddle anyone.

Speaker 6 (51:56):
You're not gonna be like I am not able to,
like you'll do a brain book like oh my god,
like let's just whatever.

Speaker 5 (52:03):
Just But that doesn't seem like he's looking for that
from you.

Speaker 7 (52:06):
So I think you're right, he's looking for a little
bit I'm not gonna call it coddling, but like a
little bit of handholding, a little bit more of me
being I don't know, nurturing or I don't know what
to even call it, but you know, just or understanding. Yes,
like I need to I need to soften up. He
needs to toughen up, and we can work on that together.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
And it's probably one of the reasons that you're attracted
to each other is that you are very in touch
with your feminine side but also your masculine side. And
it sounds like he's got a little bit more of
this emotional softness and stuff that we consider, you know,
a feminine energy.

Speaker 4 (52:41):
And like maybe that's one of the reasons why you
two work well together.

Speaker 5 (52:45):
Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Yeah, but I'm with you. I understand what you mean.
I'm with you on the cuntsiness and the bitchiness. Like
I don't have a lot of right right, but I've adjusted.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
I have made a lot of adjustments.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
If it's an ick that you can't live with, that's
one thing, and then you have to state that. But
if it's an ick that's workable, and that's you know,
it's not really controllable, which anxiety is not, you can't
blame anyone for that.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
I think you can soften up and do.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
A little bit work harder on your behalf and you know,
and then just fix all the other shit that's bothering
you about him that's materialistic, like his shoes. Always fix
their shoes. There's nothing wrong with that. There is no
shame in that.

Speaker 5 (53:22):
Yeah. No, that was one of the first things that
we did.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
They need help with their clothing, all of it. It's
like it's almost like they are swimming without arms. You
have to like look at them like that. So anyway, Yeah,
I'm glad you called in. I'm glad I see someone
very like minded and challenge yourself level up, you know
what I mean. You have to be a little bit
softer for this relationship. It sounds like the healthiest relationship

(53:47):
you've been in. You said that yourself, so rise to
the occasion.

Speaker 5 (53:51):
Yeah, yeah, I will do definitely. I appreciate the.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
Advice, No problem, take care, Thanks all right, Thanks bye bye.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Oh Michaela. You know what makes me so happy, Michaela.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Whenever I see fixtures of you on vacation, it's just
so happy making for me to see you taking some
time to yourself.

Speaker 5 (54:07):
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
So I don't think you have a vacation coming up soon.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
I think you're pretty you're getting too ready to hit
it pretty hard, right.

Speaker 5 (54:14):
Getting ready to go.

Speaker 6 (54:15):
Yeah, this season starts in October, so I'm going to
Chili in two days for on snow training camp.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
Uh huh.

Speaker 5 (54:21):
So yeah, it's it's building.

Speaker 6 (54:23):
I just walked away from the Olympics and everybody was like,
I'm going, like I'm done.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
You're like, my god, I'm not quite.

Speaker 5 (54:31):
We're getting started. Here we go.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Well, I can't wait to see everything that you do
this season.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
I can't wait to see you excel.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
I can't wait for your fiance to get back on
his feed and fully fully recover. And I know that
he will because of his strength and fortitude and because
he's got you by his side. And I think the
two of you together are an unbeatable couple. And I'm
just so happy for everything that's happened in your life
and I can't wait to see you celebrate more of it.

Speaker 5 (54:57):
Thank you. I really appreciate that. Okay, one more.

Speaker 6 (55:00):
I think the first time that you commented on one
of my Instagram posts, I was like, oh my god,
it's Chelsea Handler And also like, wait, do you think
she's I think I asked my pr Well, I was like,
is she joking because she thinks her because I was like,
she's got She's like, you've got the like edgy, like sarcastic,
like super job, you have all the different senses of humor.

(55:21):
And I was like, holy shit, is she making fun
of me or she's serious? And so it's just really
really cool to have this conversation and like connect and whatnot.

Speaker 1 (55:30):
And I love seeing you skiing and oh yeah it
makes me happy. Well hopefully we'll get to ski one
day together. That would be a real highlight. Oh yeah,
I love the idea of me trolling athletes though.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Just going around there.

Speaker 5 (55:42):
I was like, good, yes, this could be a thing.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
It's okay, Well, we won't keep you any longer, MICHAELA,
have a great have the greatest day.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
We love you.

Speaker 5 (55:52):
Let me be too, Thanks, Bye bye bye.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I
will be all over. I'm Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston,
South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint
Louis and Kansas City, and then I will be in
Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.
My first three dates in Vegas are September first, Labor

(56:16):
Day weekend, and then November two and November thirtieth.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
I'm coming to.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Brooklyn, New York, at the King's Theater on November eighth,
and i have tickets on sale throughout the end of
the year in December, so if you're in a city
like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans
or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Okay, if you'd.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
Like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear
Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to
include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com