July 18, 2024 • 49 mins
Jesse Tyler Ferguson joins Chelsea in-studio to talk about setting up your ex with your best friend, taking breaks from fatherhood, and meddling in their mutual friends’ love lives. Then: A Seattle Daddy wonders if he’s only hot on vacation. A gym rat wants to hook up with a tasty man. And a closeted couple struggles with labels - and their tiny hometown.
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Check out Jesse’s new podcast Dinner’s on Me!
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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com
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Executive Producer Catherine Law
Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert
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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, a good afternoon, Buenos Harda, Buenos Dia, Buenos
I don't know, is it Buenos tardaes.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Buenos tardes. I guess we're saying that you left Spain
a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I know I'm gonna and guess where. I just landed
in Hawaii, so I don't even know what language I'm speaking.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Aloha.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I did the same thing last year when we went
to Hawaii. Everyone kept saying Aloha, and I kept responding.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
With ola, Yeah, exactly, exactly. So Molly and I, Molly
and I flew in before my shows on Maui and
then Honolulu, and all of our cousins and their babies
are here. So we're about to go to the beach
and get down to business.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Amazing, I'm so pleased for you. Well, I just came
from your house.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Oh what was going on there?
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Well, we got Tamikas who's charming into lightfall?
Speaker 5 (00:47):
Oh, Gustavaria.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Gustavaria, that's what I've ready named him, Goose, And well Goose,
his name is Gus and he's one of my new
assistants and.
Speaker 5 (00:55):
He speaks Spanish.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
So I'm like, Gus, we are only speaking Spanish, and
so I call it Gustavenia.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
In my mind that means I would like Gus. So
we'll see who's Doug there at the house.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes, he was a totally well quaffed good boy, was he.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I asked Gus if he'd been sassy at all, and
he said, no, he's been a perfectly well behaved good boy.
He just got back from two weeks of training.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Two weeks. He had five weeks of training. He went
to training nept for five weeks. They sent me videos
of him at the store where they would go Doug sit,
He'd sit, and then they'd go lie down and he
lies down, and then then get a toy treat and
they shake it like ten feet away from him, and
he stays.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And I'm like, oh my god, if this dog training
company worked, I can't wait to tell everyone about it.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, well, you'll have to tell me about it because
Wendell has decided that if we're in the pool, we're
in grave danger. So now he wants to bark at
us when we're in the pool, and it's all it's
just a mess.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So well, I got even better news. I found out
that that Doug is flying with me. I'm gonna go
see a concert at Red Rocks. And there's this new airline,
agg Bark Airlines that you could travel with your dog on.
And then Jetsuitet also allows you to bring your dogs.
So I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to bring
dog with me everywhere.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
It's over for every other airline. Yeah, flying first class.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I wanted to a special shout out also to Australia
and New Zealand because we had such an epic time there.
We had so much fun. Sydney is one of the
most beautiful cities.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
In the world.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
That harbor we went whale watching on the.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Last day and we we went out of the harbor
and went into these ten to fifteen feet swells on
this like whale watching boat and the woman came around
and started passing out like vomit bags to everyone. Oh no,
all of these people were throwing up. I've never been
in sea that high. It was epic and I Molly
and I of course love that, so we didn't get sick.
(02:46):
But we saw so many pods of whales and it
was really really beautiful and I just can't get enough
of the food in Sydney, and like the way they
the way the beaches are, this harbor that like they
do all of this like beautiful stuff, and they create
all these stone steps so everybody can sit on the
harbor have lunch. They have all these parks right on
the harbor. I'm like, why don't we do that in
all of our beach towns in California?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You know, Sam is boring after a while.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
We need more action, some like rocky beaches.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I had that. I just that
was great. I always have a good time when we
go to Australia, but this was especially great.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Choplin with my cousin.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, well, onto her guest today.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Today we have one.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I mean, this is gonna be This is one of
the funniest episodes ever. He's the host of a podcast
called Dinners on Me, but you probably know him from
many other a bevy of other things. So please welcome
one of my favorite people, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I'm sitting
here with my friend Jesse Tyler Ferguson. When was the
last time I saw you?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Do you remember?
Speaker 7 (03:44):
It's been a while.
Speaker 8 (03:44):
I feel like I might have seen you, like the
Hollywood Bowl or something Hollywood Bowl, neither of us.
Speaker 7 (03:53):
Hilary Swing's house. Oh remember that a.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Long times ago. Right, she's had twins. Since she's had.
Speaker 7 (04:00):
Like four different she's like husband and now twins.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Well we should say she's happily married now.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
But she has been through She's been through a few
of them.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I was with her with like three.
Speaker 8 (04:13):
Different I know, I mean I think I was. I
haven't seen her for like since like two husbands ago.
Speaker 7 (04:19):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
Every time I was speak to her, She's like, you
have to meet so and so. It's like, well, what
happened to you know? Lots of his face. There's always
someone new. But I'm glad she's happy.
Speaker 7 (04:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Can you imagine if we just made a whole podcast
about Hillary Swank's love life Jesse and I just.
Speaker 7 (04:34):
I mean, we could fill it more than an hour.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
She would probably be fine with it.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Knowing her anyway, Okay, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is here in studio.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I'm so happy to see you.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I haven't seen you in many years, but here we
are reunited with Doug in studio.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
Love Doug. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
How are you my friend?
Speaker 7 (04:48):
I'm really good?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
What is happening? In your life.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Besides promoted coming on to promote a new podcast, which
everybody is going to be very anger about.
Speaker 7 (04:56):
Everyone has a podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
There's hardly any podcast, Jesse.
Speaker 8 (04:59):
I don't know what, hardly any of them. I have
actually been very prolific, prolific recently. Yeah no, I was
doing theater for a while and then the strikes all happened,
and now I'm just like doing this podcast.
Speaker 7 (05:10):
But hopefully things are going to start happening soon. I
don't know. I'm happy to have the podcast to focus.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
What is the podcast about.
Speaker 8 (05:16):
It's called Dinners on Me, and I basically take my
guess out to a dinner and we have alcohol. Alcohol
is sometimes included, well it should be, should be I
mean whatever you guys want.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
To order at dinner, for sure.
Speaker 7 (05:27):
Yeah, sometimes it's like a breakfast, but.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
It's oh well, yeah, well then just better.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I always believe a little alcohol during an interview setting
is helpful for people, for sure, who get nervous being interviewed.
Speaker 8 (05:38):
Although I would go on watch What Happens Live and
I would have a little bit of alcohol, and there's
been a few times where it's like I shouldn't have
done that.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, right, I know what you mean. I mean because
you yeah, you get it.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It should be a sip or like a half a
drink before you're on television.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Not more than that. Yeah yeah yeah, because then that
shows it shows up.
Speaker 8 (05:53):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you can tell, you can tell,
but yeah, it's just a meal. I love that it
sort of takes the podcast out of the studio where
an avest front. You hear the waiter come over the table,
you order.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Sorry to inter up, but Brad, can you fix Jesse's mic?
It's kind of falling down.
Speaker 7 (06:07):
It's yeah, move it closer, move it closer my mouth.
Put it in my.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Mouth septicles that we can use, literally put his.
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Dick in my mouth. I was like, oh, hi, what's
her name?
Speaker 8 (06:21):
That's what He has a girlfriend, who's always setting up
with her with like different guys.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Who has a girlfriend justin.
Speaker 8 (06:27):
My husband has a girlfriend and we're always setting her
up with these different guys. And he's like, I literally
put a dick in the roll's mouth last night.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
It is true.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
I set someone up.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Recently, my friend was like having a relationship with a woman,
her first relationship with a woman for about nine months,
and she's like, I'm ready to try men again, and
I was like, I think I have someone that I
used to have sex with who I'm no longer having
sex with.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
That is available and great in bed, and.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
He's a friend of mine still I highly recommended and
comes I'm like, I can vouch for him, and she's like,
I don't want to sex with anyone you did. I
got why we're all having sex.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Who cares if you have to.
Speaker 7 (07:06):
I want to know who all the players are in
the story.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
It's over and the sex with me and him is over,
so like, go for it, but there's no that attraction
is over anyway, she goes out with him.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I'm sure you know both of these people.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
She goes out with him, and the next morning she's like,
oh my god, it was a total We had such
a great time. You know, yeah, I would be like
interested in seeing him again. He said, thank you so
much for setting us up. It's a great time, Like
I would be so interested in And I was like, oh,
I've successfully set up two people just off the top
of my.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
Head, an ex lesbian and an ex level and an
ex lover.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I mean so I feel like it made me feel
very good about myself.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Are great?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Well?
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Also and that you had good taste and you know
your previous.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Lovers, I mean did I I don'n't know.
Speaker 7 (07:49):
I don't know who this person is right here.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I do have good taste. He has he's good to.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
Every time I've seen you with someone, I was like, oh,
that makes sense. Who are you with now?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I'm not sure? Okay, I don't know where I am.
I don't know who I'm with. I don't know what
I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Okay, all right, you've been in a relationship for a
long time.
Speaker 7 (08:07):
A really long time. We just see children, two children now. Yeah,
I don't think.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I've seen you since I had kids, not twins.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I usually cut off relationships with people when they have children,
So that makes sense.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
That does make its tracks. It's all tracks. Yeah, I have.
I've been married. I'll be eleven years in July that
I've been married. And we have a four year old
and like eighteen month.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Old, And how is that?
Speaker 7 (08:28):
It's fine, it's good, it's good, it's good. Yeah. Yeah.
My husband just looked at a school today, like we're
at that place where.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
We're looking at Yeah. I mean, oh my god. You
really have to think about everything when you're having a kid.
It's not just about having a kid, it's about the
next twenty years of getting raped by every school system.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I mean, it's so ridiculous the stories I.
Speaker 8 (08:51):
Hear now, I know, I know in Justin's you know,
he's on like group chats with all the other moms
and like it's he's the only like for the only
sex couple at the preschool right now. So he's like,
all the he's on this group chat with all these
moms and then he's like and then me, Justin, and
they're all talking about schools because they're all, you know,
trying to figure out where to place their kids as well,
and they're just really working him up. He gets worked
(09:14):
up very easily, and he's really stressing out about things.
So I'm glad he finally looked at a school so
that we could have something like feasible, you know, like
actually like concrete to look at.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, how do you feel about how would you grade
yourself as a parent.
Speaker 8 (09:28):
I think I'm doing okay. We have I think I'm
doing okay. I benefit from a lot of help we have.
My mother in law is really helpful. I'm pretty good,
but I definitely need like breaks. So it's good to have.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
And when you say breaks, like, what do you mean,
like like going away for like twenty twenty one days,
one days, twenty eight days every six months. Yeah, I
like to go away for twenty eight days.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
I'll leave a photo of myself by the crib and enter.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's actually a great plan for me. That's what I needed.
Like when I work two months, I need a month off.
I'm like, you go, go, go, go go. And then
you know, like when your sometimes are slow, they're super slow,
and then when you're busy, you're like, I don't even know.
I feel like I'm in the middle of a nervous
breakdown totally.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know.
Speaker 8 (10:09):
I get built in breaks because I get to go
away for work sometimes, So that's nice. Yeah, no, it's fine,
it's fine. I mean, my my husband doesn't let be
left one with the kids.
Speaker 7 (10:18):
I did.
Speaker 8 (10:18):
I was going to play in New York for like
four months and right after my second was born, and
I was like, Papa was a rolled in stone, like
he had no idea who I was, you know, just not.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Present, right, right. That's I've had the kind of relationship,
but only with one of my dogs. An actual person,
which would be more. Yeah, so you're actually worse, a
worse person than I at in that comparicon. Yeah right,
how did you like that schedule for the theater?
Speaker 7 (10:43):
It's hard, it is.
Speaker 8 (10:44):
It's hard because also people think that, you know, you
only work like a few hours in the evening and
like you have your whole day free.
Speaker 7 (10:49):
I'm like, you're a monster.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You have your whole day to stress out about performing
that night is what you have.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I don't think I could do that schedule. Yes you could, No,
I don't. I couldn't. First of all, seven day or
six day a week.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
Right, or is it seven six days a week eight performances, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Six days a week. I need more than one day
wake off.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
And I understand that what that goes into that because
I do stand up, I mean I don't do feat
or so I'm not you know, it's me just being myself.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
So it's probably in a sense much easier.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
But knowing all day long that you have to do
what you have to do, it affects everything you do,
every all day, all day.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Yeah, keep it all day.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I prefer to just do stand up in the morning,
record myself and be done with it and send it
out that night, you know what I.
Speaker 8 (11:28):
Mean totally so that I yeah, yeah, yeah, I could
do what you want tonight totally. I know I'm not
I'm not great. That's the other thing that's changed with kids,
Like I really am starting to shut down at like
six thirty PM. That's if we're not like in the
process of eating dinner. I'm kind of screwed because I
want to be I want to be sleeping by the
time Mike, Yeah, my kids go down, which is eight
(11:49):
eight o five.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I sleep pretty or I go to sleep pretty early.
Last night. I was in bed at seven thirty.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And I mean I because I get ship done between
like five am and eight am are like or six
to nine. I can get a lot done and then
I'm much more productive. But around That's how I feel
like anytime I have plans at night, and I don't
have kids, so I don't know if this is an
age thing. It must be, because anytime I have plans
at night, I'm like, is it gonna happen? Like? Am
I gonna be able to truly truck through that? I
(12:18):
find La to be such a sleepier town. When I'm
in New York. I'm capable of many many more things.
Speaker 8 (12:24):
Absolutely, you can fill a night. But also if I
know I have to do something like it anytime after
eight pm, if I'm not out of my house, I
won't make it like I need to be taken out
of my house. I need to be entertained the premises
and tell whatever this event.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
It's like actually like a kid, right, you have to
keep me entertained until I have to go perform or
because every every engagement is that there's a level of performance,
which is also fucking annoying.
Speaker 7 (12:53):
I wouldn't have to take anything to help you sleep.
Do you take weed or.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Oh yeah, I take all sorts of shit. I take gummies.
Sometimes I take Xanax. If I'm traveling and there's a
time difference, I've decided, most recently to ignore time zones.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I've decided they don't have Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I have like this whole like international loop I'm doing,
and I'm like, I'm just gonna have to get ahead
of this because that's.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
All i have.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's the only defense I have. But I will take
like xanax for that. I love Xanax. Xanax is my favorite.
And then I but I try not to take that,
you know, multiple anxiety as well or just you. I
recently started to use it, like I tried it for
anxiety during the day because I had I went through
like a stressful couple of months recently with my house
(13:37):
and all this stuff that was going on. I just
felt very stressed out, and I was taking it during
the day. I was also smoking multiple joints a day
during the day. And then I was like, I've got
to get through this period of time. And then, of
course those periods of time always come to an end, right,
like you're out of the cycle of the level of
stress you felt. It doesn't ever, that's the great thing
(13:57):
about being stressed out. It doesn't last. Yeah, so that
feels good. I feel much better this week. I feel
much better, like, you know, higher vibes. Yeah, less less
like I'm in the afternoon, like where's the xanax? Like
I'm okay now, yeah, well me needs a joint and ax.
I just but I love joyts. Do you like smooking
weed you like I do?
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Gummies?
Speaker 6 (14:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Much better for you to day cummies.
Speaker 7 (14:21):
Yes, one of my favorite things that you you did.
I miss it. I don't know if you had a
good experience doing it. But was it The Chelsea does.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Series, Yes, I love that they loved.
Speaker 8 (14:29):
And The Chelsea does Drugs. Yes, well you had the
weed meal and then you went on aahuasca as well. Yes,
fucking fantastic. Oh thanks fantastic. I just love watching that
that dinner too, and you and like fortune like that
group of people.
Speaker 7 (14:42):
Skinting so ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
We were high for seven days after that that. You
don't understand what was like because it was in the food.
So yeah, you know you drugged yourself. Like, you can't
overdose on weed, that's the thing. You can just get
super super hot. No, you could just act like a
moron for a week, or you could do that for
your podcast. But it's better with the visuals. I guess
are you going to have visuals on your podcast?
Speaker 7 (15:03):
We haven't done that yet because people don't like eating
in front of a camera.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Oh yeah, that is a problem.
Speaker 8 (15:07):
And also we're in restaurants you now, and there's you know,
real people having meals around us.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
But David Chang is doing that show on more Like.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
I mean that's a TV show. They have a budget.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Oh right right, and no one Moreover, nobody wants to
hear people eating now, so I forget. I want to
cancel what I retracted my earlier statement. Okay, we're going
to take a break and we'll be right back with
Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
This week.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
We'd love for you to write in about your secrets.
If you'd like advice about a secret that you're keeping
for yourself or someone else. Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
And we're back with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who is an
absolute delight. We're just sitting here gossiping in the back
about our lives. Basically, I don't know if you can
gossip about yourself. I guess that's not gossiping. You can,
you can, so apparently I was. We're going to have
people call in and write in, and you put your
(16:08):
good LA therapy.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I'm assuming you've been to therapy?
Speaker 7 (16:12):
Have I ever?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
That LA therapy will come in handy because our first
email comes from m and the subject line is.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
We ho gay needs help.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Oh it's a local.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
It's a local.
Speaker 7 (16:25):
I probably know this person.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I love to give back to the community, so let's go.
I just sat up so erectly.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Disappoint him, so Em says, Dear Chelsea, I'm going to
keep this as concise as possible, because as an avid listener,
I know you hate lengthy right.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
INDs, thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I'm a thirty two year old gay man in West Hollywood.
I've been best friends with a guy for going on
nine years. Moving to LA from a red state, he
brought me out of my bubble. I've always been outgoing,
a down low, straight passing guy, but he made me
feel comfortable being gay.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I love him.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
He's integrated into my life and truly is someone I
care about and don't want to lose. Here's the issue.
He almost consistently goes after any guy I show interest in,
usually after I've hooked up with them or we've dated.
I found out recently through mutual friends he hooked up
with a guy I had intense feelings for and had
a bad falling out with.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I told him about those feelings, and yet a month
later he's diving in. I don't think this guy is
worth ruining a friendship over, but I think the pattern
of my friend is troubling. I called him out, put
some distance between us, and I don't know how to
move forward. What's going on here? Please help me work
through how to move on and keep this friendship going,
hopefully with better boundaries.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
M Well, Jesse, it sounds like you're up.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Well, let me just tell you.
Speaker 8 (17:45):
I've been this guy in this situation I had when
I first moved to La. I'd go out with my
he's a famous actor.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I'll tell you that you have such a very euphonious voice.
It's gonna be great on a podcast. Seriously, it's just
very nice here and to listen.
Speaker 8 (18:01):
Yeah, but we every time he went out, he would
hook up with the person I showed interest in it
every time. Yeah, someone someone I'm sure you know. And
we remain friends. And I just had to sort of
decide whether or not, like his friendship was meaningful enough
for me to you know, over overlook that. I mean,
every time I went out he was at my side.
Like there was moments that I went out with other
(18:21):
people and then I didn't have to worry about him.
Speaker 7 (18:23):
But like I did make fun of him.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
It's like, I can't believe everyone I showed interest in you,
like immediately go after.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, that just sounds like sabotage, right, latant sabotage jealousy,
so like like try to sabotage, you get in your way.
Speaker 8 (18:37):
Gay communities trying to sabotage. They're all trying to sleep
with each other. That's a thing. I mean, men are dogs.
And then you put a whole bunch of men who
earned another man in the same room expecting.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
To happen exactly right. It almost gives you permission.
Speaker 8 (18:51):
To do whatever you want want all gay bachelor because
everyone would just be fucking each other in the Bachelor
house like it hasn't happened because it wouldn't have because
if the rules are they don't apply.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (19:02):
So I don't know.
Speaker 8 (19:03):
I kind of feel like it is sort of just
the way of it sucks with your friends doing that
to you. But I don't know, I don't know, I
really I think you just kind of have to lean
into it or yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, absolutely you could lean into it, or like do
you need to be friends with this person? Is like
did I miss Is he just in the general group
of everybody?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
No, they're like they're like besties. It's like.
Speaker 7 (19:27):
Yeah, support system.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Okay, so well then you're gonna have to really work
just to get past it and accept the behavior.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
And I mean not what am I saying?
Speaker 7 (19:39):
Just take it.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
No, you're gonna have to talk, Like don't you think
they have to have a conversation, like because you have
to be called.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Out for that, don't you.
Speaker 8 (19:45):
But I think he said he did have a conversation
about like how that guy like really hurt him and
the guy went after him any ways.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Right, yeah, And I do I do like the making
fun of him for it that you mentioned earlier, like.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Like he's gotta be yeah, like you can't ignore it.
It is very obnoxious behavior from your friend, Like yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
I mean, like next time he's showing interest in someone,
like but I better step aside becase you're probably going
to roll right on over there, aren't you. I mean,
I don't know, Listen, I'm always up for like being
super upfront with someone letting them know when you're you know,
annoyed with their behavior. But it's at the end of
the day, you got to realize there are a whole
bunch of gay men in a room and they're all
just going to try and sleep with poor Maybe you're
(20:25):
not being active enough, maybe our writer, maybe AM's not
being active enough and like being aggressive enough. Maybe it's
just an opportunity to up up the game.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I don't like to, Like I wouldn't be friends with
somebody that was doing that all the time, you know
what I mean, Like there's too many there's too many
other people to hang out with.
Speaker 7 (20:40):
That that's true. Well, maybe fine.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I just want to be friends with somebody who is
like openly trying to sabotage me after I called them
out about it and continue to do it. It's like,
is that friendship actually worth it for you? If it is,
then yeah, get over it. So there we go, a
problem solved and and I'm done for the day. Okay,
bocking out, blocking out, You're welcome.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
Well.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Our next question comes from Cameron. Cameron says, Dear Chelsea,
I'm a fifty year old gay man. I had lots
of sex in the past, living in Mexico, Spain, Argentina,
and Brazil.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
I think I'm stuck like the type.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I think I'm stuck thinking that I'm only quote interesting
while being a foreigner loving abroad and domestic relationships seem
out of reach. Since I feel like I am a
dim ad dozen average homo. What is your secret to
cultivating exciting relationships while globe trotting, and is my love
of adventure abroad a sign that I'm unable to have
a long term relationship or is it just fun loving you?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Cameron?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
There is something about being a vagabond and Catherine, we
had someone call on the other day where this was
kind of analogous where there is something about being very
peripatetic around the world and apothetic and also, yeah, yeah,
try try and keep it like somebody who's constantly on
the move.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Okay, okay, now spell it. Spell it p A R I.
Speaker 7 (21:57):
T E P E T I c very pathetic.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
So there is something about when you're a vagabond or
a globe trotter or however you want to, like, when
you bounce around a lot. No, mad, you're not very yeah,
you're not very anchored anywhere. So it kind of is
prohibitive to actually finding a long term love. But what
I'm hearing from him is that he just wants adventure
love and all these different ports in the storm.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Correct, Like, that's also what I'm about. I like that.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Yeah, And Cameron, do we have you with us here?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh he's on the phone.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, Oh yeah, he's on the phone.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Great, let's get down to business. I mean, we have
Jesse Tyler Ferguson here.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Who better? Who better to guide us through this storm?
Speaker 8 (22:38):
We have the same taste in men all those countries
are like yep, I get it feels like everyd.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
But it feels like every gay guy loves those times.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Oh yeah, that's true. That's true, that's true. We do.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
There's also something so mysterious about being, you know, the
stranger in a new land. But it's what I was
also getting from him is that he was frustrated, that
sense of he's more enticing in other countries, like he's
not as exciting here.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Well, I can relate to this because I travel so much.
I love to be on the move.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Like I get very bored if I'm in like La
for too long, And I have no reason to be
other than Doug who you know.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Oh there he is, Hi, Good to see you.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
We have Jesse Tyler Ferguson here today as our special guest.
Speaker 7 (23:21):
Hello, Chelsea, Hey, how's it going good?
Speaker 6 (23:26):
Dish?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Okay, So elaborate a little bit on your letter, like
are you looking for a long term relationship or are
you looking for just more lovers in different places?
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Well, I would take either one of those. But you know,
I love a relationship that is distant but.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Close, And how do you mean.
Speaker 7 (23:51):
I would like.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
To feel like I have access to a relationship, but
I don't want in my place all the time.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Right, I'm with you, I relate to you completely. I
feel the same way. I like to have little fun actions.
But repeated customers like it's nice to have you know
the same guy like somebody in Spain that I see
when I go there, and somebody I see when I
go there and there.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
So I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
But I would say that attitude in it of itself,
it doesn't have to be prohibitive, but it can be.
Like for me, I had to really change the way
that I looked at it. I had to really kind
of energetically be more open minded about being open about
what I was looking for with other people. But like
saying very honestly and upfront in the beginning, like making
(24:38):
it very clear, this is fun, this is not going
to be long term.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
If it is, that wouldn't be the plan.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Everything is going to be happening naturally and there's no
pressure on anything, and I will also be dating other people.
I feel like when you are very honest with yourself
about being that way, it attracts more people that are
interested in what you're doing and are like minded. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:00):
I just think that your situation is ideal for me
because I would love to have that kind of opportunity
to jump around a little bit.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
And didn't you say that that's what you were doing,
is going to Argentina and to Brazil and all these
different places.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Yeah. I lived in all of those places and really
had a lot of success because I kind of had
a built in narrative about how I'm interesting because I'm
living in these different countries, or I am a foreigner
who has a little bit of extra sparkle because of that.
Speaker 8 (25:39):
Are you thinking that you don't you don't have that
shine and sparkle here? Yeah, okay here in America.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Yeah, it just doesn't feel like I have the same
amount of a llure.
Speaker 8 (25:50):
I think that's just you being down on yourself because
I think you're very allowing.
Speaker 7 (25:53):
What is it? I hear an accent? Where are you from?
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Oh? Minnesota? Oh?
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Really? Okay?
Speaker 8 (26:00):
All of a sudden, like Dutch or something, Just say
you're Dutch. Just go in like be like I'm I'm
here from Switzerland.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Strategy.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
First of all, like inhibit that this this aura that
you want, like when you're feeling like you're down on yourself,
that kind of shows up in your physicality and I
can kind of see it as you're talking about it.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I mean, if you believe that, then that is kind.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Of your truth. If you choose to believe you are
from you have had all these experiences. I'm sorry, I
thought you met you were currently going to all these places,
so I misread that but or misheard it. But I
think you need to just like build yourself back up
and whether that's like every day being like all right,
here's a new day. Here's a new day for me
to have like positive energy about myself. All of those
(26:44):
things that you're talking about are part of your history
that makes you a unique person and a unique human
being who has something to offer people that nobody else
has to offer them, don't you think?
Speaker 7 (26:54):
Yeah? Also, where are you living right now in Seattle? Okay?
Do you tend to go to the same places over
and over and over, like your same haunts? If you
go out?
Speaker 6 (27:04):
No, I'm not going out a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Oh well, that's part of the problem too. You got
to get out there. You got to go to things,
go to events, go to concerts. Do you like music, Yeah, yeah,
go to concerts. Go to like low key concerts, you
know where you're going to be mingling with people and
standing around talking to people, and go to bars and
get yourself out in the world a little bit more.
Nothing's going to come and knock on your door if
(27:28):
you're not out there, you know.
Speaker 8 (27:30):
Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a way of like
treating your own hometown like you would treat a city
you were visiting, like you in Argentina or something, and
looking for those fun places where you would meet people.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Yeah, that is I think hard to do because it
seems like, oh, I know what I'm gonna see when
I go out, or I know who I'm going to meet.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
But you don't. You don't.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
You're like stabbing yourself in the foot before you get
out the door. You don't know who you're going to
see or who you're going to meet. And you should
turn that whatever phrase, your phrase of yours, do the
opposite and start thinking the opposite. Just say I don't
know who I'm going to meet, I don't know what
I'm going to see, so you have to just do
a complete dipsy doodle and flip around, flip it and
reverse it, flip it.
Speaker 7 (28:14):
And reverse it.
Speaker 8 (28:14):
But yeah, like go like find the local museums, like
all the things you would do when you were traveling.
I mean, Seattle is an incredible city. There's so much
to do there.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Yeah, you just have to get outside of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Go to some like events or like they have public
readings of things. You can go to book events where
they have authors. You know, those kind of intimate settings
where you're going to have something in common with the
other people that are there and you're going to have
a natural spark of conversation.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
But get off of your ass and get out of
your house.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
As the bottom line, you're a well traveled, distinguished, good
looking guy like who wouldn't want to come talk to you?
But I think you know, Chelsea, you're hitting the nail
on the head too. It's not like you don't have
to go be in the club. Go somewhere where you
can strike up a conversation with someone.
Speaker 6 (28:57):
Yeah, that's really good advice.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I was like, what's the curb? I was like, what,
don't go there, sir, Do not knock, go there.
Speaker 7 (29:05):
The curb's no good.
Speaker 6 (29:06):
Yeah, it's a weird age, you know, fifty, because it's.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Not though I'm forty nine, it's not forty eight.
Speaker 7 (29:13):
I'll be forty nine a few months. It's not that
we're fine.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
He always says, whatever age I am, he does that. Yeah,
it's bullshit, by the way, that Yeah, it's not a
weird age.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
It's a weird age. That's exactly.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
There's another sentence. Fifty is a great age. Opposites everything
you're saying. Do the opposite of fifty is awesome. This
is a new adventure, it's a new chapter. Get excited
about your life, because no one is going to get
excited about your life until you do.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Yeah, and I think also find some like cute polyamorous
person who like doesn't want to be in your space
all of the time, but can give you those wonderful
cuddles that you deserve and the intimacy.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Also, you know, you can go on these dating websites
or apps, all of them and be very clear about
what you're looking for, like a casual lover or whatever.
You know, the term anology that you're supposed to use.
I don't think that's it.
Speaker 7 (30:02):
No casual lover's not.
Speaker 8 (30:04):
It can definitely attest to that is a forty eight
and eleven month old.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
But you could go and be very clear about what
your intentions are.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
You know, I know a lot of women probably want more,
or you think that they want more, but you'll be
surprised to find out that there are a lot more
people on your wavelength than you think.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Oh no, cameraon dates fellas.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, well, everything so far about this call I've gotten wrong,
So there's no reason to stop now.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
I mean, I can't even keep track of what's going on.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Maybe I'm in a midlife I mean, I'm in a breakdown,
you know what I'm actually, I'm in my mental breakdown.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
You know what they say, fifty is a weird year.
Speaker 6 (30:44):
To decide crisis you want to have. But yeah, it's
good advice to just get over myself and get out.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Oh yeah, definitely get out.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
And gay men are definitely not going to care that
you want to have casual relationships at all.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Okay, I just appreciate the advice, and I.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Think I don't. I don't think you should thank me,
thank Jesse, but I don't. Obviously I've got another podcast
right now.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
He's like, I called into dear Chelsea.
Speaker 7 (31:13):
It's so weird. Everything was wrong.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
It's like going to a psychic or medium and they're like,
I see you have a son. They're like, I don't
like I see him though. All right, Well, anyway, good
luck and keep us posted when you find your part
time lover or all of your part time lovers. But
also listen when I'm before you go, I do want
to be serious about saying that you have to talk
(31:39):
to yourself in a positive way. It actually makes a difference.
You may think I don't know what I'm talking about,
but I do.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
I do know. I do it all the time.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
If you get into a negative headspace, it's your job
to get yourself out of it, and you have to
do that by being positive, putting yourself out in nature,
going out and doing things that you normally wouldn't do.
It really builds your self esteem and it builds your
self worth. So stop poop pooing on everything and saying
this isn't going to be fun, and say this is
gonna be fun. I'm going to go out and have
(32:06):
a good time, and I promise you're going to start
having a better time in life.
Speaker 6 (32:09):
Hey, I will stop poop pooing.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Okay, all right, peace out, Thanks Cameron, bye bye.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Wow that was a real doozy, mostly for.
Speaker 7 (32:19):
Me, but mostly for me.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Oh my god, it looked like he was in the
Hampton's Like it reminded me of like Shelter Island. Have
you ever been to Shelter Island? I was like, Oh,
that looks so nice, cold, wet, rainy. I love that
everyone in La hates the rain. I love the rain.
I love that East Coast like damp where.
Speaker 7 (32:38):
You don't really moody weather.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Yeah, where you don't want to go out having to
go out.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Yeah, like watching tea, just getting a bed, watching TV
at like two in the afternoon. I love that.
Speaker 7 (32:46):
Seattle.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, well, if you go to Seattle, you go to
bed at too, because it's dark. Out of three, what's next, Catherine.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Well, our next color is Genevieve and Jesse. I think
this is like a perfect call for you. So I'm
really excited that this worked out timing wise. From what
I have read, this is part of your truths, So
Genevieve says, Dear Chelsea, I grew up laughing at your
comedy on Chelsea Lately, and you definitely shaped my sense
of humor into what it is today. I was excited
(33:14):
to learn you not only had a podcast, but we're
offering your solicited advice.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I'm a regular at my local gym, and I self
identify as a total battie. I love feeling strong and
sexy during my workouts, but nothing ruins my workout harder
than unwanted thirsty gym boys hitting on me during my session.
When I'm at the gym, I tend to avoid eye contact,
stay focused on my workout, and never ever smile at anyone.
I'm here for myself and not to socialize. However, right,
(33:41):
calmed down, Fuck, we get it. She should wear one
of those signs no molested, no moll'star. However, lately, this
new boy has started working out at the same time
as me, and I have to admit I cannot not
notice him. He is sexy and delicious, one hundred percent
my type, and I want to know who he is.
(34:03):
I feel stumped. How do I approach this sexy man
at a place where I so strongly hate being hit
on myself. I can tell that he too, is focused
on his own workout, and I understand how annoying it
can be when someone interrupts Genevieve.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Wow, this is just very pressing matter. Hi Genevieve, Hi Genevieve.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Hi guys.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Okay, so you're trying to just figure out how to
basically go up.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
And hit on this guy or introduce yourself not hit
on him.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah, in a space where like I don't want people
to approach me in that area, and I can tell
he's focused on his workout.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
We're doing different things, like how do I go up?
Speaker 3 (34:38):
And like just even can't you find him on Instagram?
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Like it would be better to DM him? I think
in that scenario, how to find out his name?
Speaker 3 (34:46):
You mean yelling?
Speaker 4 (34:48):
How do you find someone on Instagram?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Well, first you have to find out what their name is.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Yeah, go to the girls at the front and be like, listen,
I think that guy's cute. Tell me his name. Oh
that's good, get them on your team.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
But then she's talking to people she doesn't want to
talk to. That's a very.
Speaker 7 (35:07):
Difficult The reason quite a predicament.
Speaker 8 (35:09):
She's like, look, I want I want to I want
this to go down, but I want to go down
my terms.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
I want this to go down, but I'm not willing
to break the rules, so I put in place to
make this go down.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
So it's very Yes, it is quite a predicament.
Speaker 8 (35:21):
I mean I would just put myself in the line
of fire with him, be like whatever he's doing, be like,
oh are you using this thing? So it doesn't look
like you're like like, hi, my name shouldn't be with charity, like,
but you're like, just it's a casual thing, so that
you could start a conversation, like even if he's like,
oh no, I'm done with that twenty pound or like whatever,
Like at least you've started some sort of a conversation.
(35:42):
You know, I met my husband at at the gym
in the locker room, So.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
You're way to bury the lead.
Speaker 7 (35:48):
I know, I know. That's why I feel like this
is why I was being teed up.
Speaker 4 (35:51):
I discovered this on the internet. I was hoping it
was true.
Speaker 8 (35:54):
Yeah, so I'm not I'm not. I'm not suggesting you
follow him into the locker room, although that would strike
up conversation. I mean he'd definitely be like, what what's
going on. That's all to say, you never know where
you're going to meet your your your person, and I
didn't think i'd meet mine in the locker room of
the Equinox them West Hollywood.
Speaker 7 (36:13):
Calm down. I mean he also fully clothed. We were
fully closed.
Speaker 8 (36:21):
But that's where it happened, and so I would just
and you know what, Justin did not want to approach
me because he recognized me from television and he lived
in he'd grown up in LA and he's like, I
don't want to bother him. He probably gets bothered all
the time. And he's like, you know what, fuck it,
I'm going to say something. He had just started working
on marriage equality that we're trying to pass it here
in California with Proposition eight was happening, and so he's like,
(36:42):
I'm just going to talk to this guy and say,
I think that this show that you're on it's going
to really help that fight for marriage equality. So it
came from actually very like a very connected place. So
I think it's you know, as long as you're not
coming in a creepy way, I don't think there's anything
wrong with putting yourself in the line of fire and
be like are you done with this set? Or I've
seen you a lot here. You look like you're really
(37:04):
focused and you're looking good at whatever. I mean, I
don't know. I'm also terrible with like one.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
But no, I don't think it needs to be one liner.
I think that's true.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Like the spirit of it just has to be like
natural and organic, you know, I mean intentional, like you
want to go over there and you know, rush past
him or whatever or have an in interaction with him.
So if you keep in mind that that's what you're doing,
like in a fun way, like it doesn't have to
be awkward. You could just go, oh wow, like you're
super focused. You like, how focused to you?
Speaker 8 (37:33):
I'm breaking my own rule right now and saying hello
to someone at the gym. I hate when people say
hello to me.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
But that's cute. That's a good one.
Speaker 7 (37:39):
Yeah, look at you, Yeah you Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Would you ask him to teach you something?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Would you ever walk over and ask to be finger blasted?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Also a conversation starter.
Speaker 7 (37:50):
That is definitely render.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
It depends who you're talking to fingerplasted?
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Oh no, And then he's like, I have a girlfriend.
Speaker 7 (38:01):
Well then you know, and that's okay too.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
There will be more cute guys at the gym.
Speaker 8 (38:06):
Who cares I met justin whody had a boyfriend. I
asked him out and he's like, I'm actually seeing someone,
but we can go out his friends.
Speaker 7 (38:11):
It's like, oh no, I have enough friends yea.
Speaker 8 (38:13):
And it was fine, and then he came back around
he broke up with his boyfriend, and I was like, okay,
now let's go. But yeah, so he has a girlfriend. Like,
you're not like asking him out, you're just saying hi.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
And also who cares if so if he has a
girlfriend and that's the end of it, then great, more
information for you to move on. Or you could just
keep your mind open. Yeah, because people break up all
the time. It's not a big deal, so don't make
it one.
Speaker 7 (38:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
Yeah, and you're not creepy, so he will not be
creeped out.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Just remember when you're doing it, like this is gonna
be fun and light, like, have a good time doing it.
You know. When I was younger, people always used to
be like when I started, like performing live, people would
always be like, just have a good time, and you're like.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I fucking have a good time.
Speaker 7 (38:52):
Yeah, nervous, and I have to go.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Out there and I have to perform, And it's like
once you realize that it is really about having a
good time, and that your good time is going to
infect every other person you're coming into contact with. Then
you're fine and then you can have a good time.
So just think of it that way, like you're about
to go spread good vibes and good joy.
Speaker 7 (39:11):
And who doesn't like that? Who just like be encountered
with good vibes and good joy?
Speaker 8 (39:15):
Yeah, I mean even if he's like, oh, she might
have been heading on me, but I would be flattered
if someone came up to me at the gym and
just like struck up conversations like, oh maybe they think
I'm cute, Like it makes me feel good.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Okay, you're passing me up.
Speaker 6 (39:26):
That's good to hear.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Yeah, good.
Speaker 6 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
And I don't think you have to like ask him
to marry you, like the first time we talked to him.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Like I like a build of sexual tension.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Per my friend Wendy, it's nice to build a flirtation
because really a flirtation the beginning of the relationship is
the most fun part.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
And you could as long.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
As like, if you can stretch that out and have
a fun flirt imagine how much fun you're gonna have
going to the gym, just knowing that you're gonna bump
into him like every time.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
That's fun.
Speaker 7 (39:50):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
Yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I like that idea too. Okay, well, good luck, thank you.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
I appreciate your guys insight.
Speaker 7 (39:56):
Bye bye.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
That didn't feel like a real problem.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
I mean it was a real problem to poor Genevieve.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Yeah, I guess she must take her own rules at
the gym pretty serious, very seriously.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Like it's like, right, I made fuck.
Speaker 8 (40:13):
No, I can't say hello, I have a stretch with
no talking policy. She does.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
But I thought that Jesse would be the perfect person
to encourage her sense because.
Speaker 7 (40:23):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
I didn't know that story about you meeting your lover
or there.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
Yeah, I do love the added element in the locker room.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Oh gosh, let's take a quick break and we'll wrap
up with one other little question.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Okay, we're going to be right back with Jesse. He
has to take a bath. I'm going to give him
a bath, and we're back.
Speaker 7 (40:46):
I know I've.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Recently got in I've recently gotten into candles. I didn't
know about those earlier.
Speaker 7 (40:51):
But I can never reach it.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
No, no, no problem, I'm really good.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Actually, have very strong hands from being a mountain woman
all winter long, Catherine.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
So before we have to part.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Ways with my lover, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, this is a
very fun Episode's very fun.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
It's about to get a little more fun because Cias
is in a bit of a pickle.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Sia, uh no, just see, let's call her Sia. She's
see yah. She's using a sudame, so she's see you now.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Cia is just writing in so she's not joining us. Okay,
Dear Chelsea and Crewe, I'm in a bit of a pickle.
I'm twenty four years old and I've always thought myself
to be straight until a little over a year ago
when my best friend and I found ourselves after a
night of drinking to be making out later leading to sex.
It all felt right and we haven't stopped to this day.
(41:35):
Although we are both quote unquote straight, and I've still
had sex with other men throughout this but nothing more
than just casual hookups. I don't feel attracted to other women,
and neither does she, and we both have no plans
of coming out about our quote relationship anytime soon, but
there's definitely more jealousy when we're with other people or
don't spend almost every day together. We act like we're
(41:55):
in a relationship to each other, even admitting that we're
in love with each other, but remain friends to the
outside world. And for added context that makes this harder.
There's a fifteen year age gap between us, and we
live in a small town where everybody knows who we are.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
I'm just seeking advice to navigate the situation.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Do I stop completely to save ourselves from getting hurt
further as this all gets deeper, or do I just
keep going and see what happens?
Speaker 7 (42:18):
See?
Speaker 4 (42:18):
Yeah, she her?
Speaker 8 (42:20):
So what she's described to us, She's described to us
a relationship that's in the closet. That's like exactly what
that is? Yeah, so that let's just identify it first.
You're in a closet of relationship with your friend, which
you know, that's something I can definitely relate to.
Speaker 7 (42:38):
Listen.
Speaker 8 (42:38):
I mean, if you have feelings for one another, I
think you know it's worth talking about. I'm wondering where
she's from. Is it a small town that she doesn't
feel safe being out?
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I don't think she actually says where, But that's kind
of the sense I got.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I mean I'm all about like, if you're in love,
be in love, and then figure out your way, you know,
to make it happen to get.
Speaker 8 (43:00):
Yeah, I mean it sounds like if there's like jealousy
about you know, you being with other people and they
don't want to spend time apart, I mean, that's that's
what the best relationships. I mean, the jealousy part is
probably not great, but like, you know, but you should
want to spend a lot of time with the person exactly.
That's all. That's all good stuff. So I don't know,
(43:21):
I feel like there's got it. You have to figure
out a way to be comfortable in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
I agree. I think that.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
And I wish she did say something about where she
was from, because I would say, a, maybe you guys
should move together somewhere else where you're going to feel
more secure being out in the open, or be out
in the open where you are give people some room
to like accept it and and talk to your like,
if you really care and you're in love with each other,
then you should be talking about what your immediate future is.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Going to look like.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah, And I would encourage you to talk to like
if you want to talk to another party, like about
how you go about doing that in a more comfortable
way with both of your families.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
You should talk to a therapist about it.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
But I don't see, like this isn't going to end
well as a secret, right.
Speaker 8 (44:06):
Also this something that's interesting is that there's a fifteen
year age gap. I'm assuming she's fifteen years older because
if our writer's twenty four, correct, Yeah, so she's thirty
and nine ish, she's or.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Nine or nine, which is a really different question to
be asking, you know.
Speaker 8 (44:29):
I mean, she's she's lived a life, you know, if
you're almost forty years old, Like, I don't know, pardon me.
Feel also kind of feels like your friend needs to
be like, okay, like take take the reins a little bit,
help us out, Like is this a thing?
Speaker 7 (44:40):
Are we in love? Is this happening? Help me out? Mommy?
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah, I think you gotta.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah, somebody's got to step up to the plate, like
it just there's no good story ending you guys, if
you love each other, get together, figure out a plan
forward and do something about it.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
No, but I think that's good advice. And I think
that's the advice. She's kind of looking for. It's not
like just to ignore this and doesn't matter that you're
not attracted to other women.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
You're attracted to this woman.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Right, So she this woman's like thirty nine and she's
twenty four, so she's worried about like judgment about that.
And again I would say that you're twenty four years
old in the thirty nine that's not disgusting.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
No, And you know, kind of thinking about that like
age gap too, Like your best friend would have grown
up in a time where it was still like ooh,
are people going to come out or not. Maybe it's
for the younger person to take the lead of like
let's do this.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Yeah, you got there yet, right, I mean I've always
dated but men that are I mean I dated men
that were twenty years older than me for like twenty
years until they got too old, you know, and then
I had to dial it back. But age, yeah, there's
no like fifteen twenty years is fine. It's I think
when I mean, twenty years is a lot, but fifteen
years is okay.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
I think that's okay. Yeah, And also, yes, take.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
The lead as a younger person who's more with it
and you know, understands the way society and culture are
working these days. I would always like to I always,
as a personal rule, like to get ahead of a problem,
not behind one. And you should get ahead of you
this problem because it doesn't have to be a problem.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, stop dating other people because you're not interested in.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Them, and let us know what happens. Yeah, I'm so Yeah,
stop dating other people. You guys are obviously together. Yeah,
and let us know what Tony moved to.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
We're assuming it's the town, but like, I mean, maybe
it's not the town.
Speaker 7 (46:19):
She says.
Speaker 8 (46:20):
Everyone there knows who they are, everyone knows. It just
sounds like a very small town. So of course my
brain goes to a not very accepting place.
Speaker 7 (46:28):
But that's just me.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Yeah, well you're a gay person, so you would know
that better than me. I was just thinking why my
mind wouldn't think fat, And it's like, oh, because I'm
not discriminated against, right, right, right?
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Well the problem solved with that.
Speaker 7 (46:40):
I'll discriminate against you though.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I feel like I was going to ask you about
being discriminated against about something else that you were saying earlier.
I wanted to say, did you feel discriminated against? But
now I forgot what that was about. This has been
a blur.
Speaker 8 (46:54):
I don't even remember coming in this room. I feel
like I've been here for days. He woke up here
this morning. Oh my goodness, oh so funny.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
People are really going to enjoy this, Jesse, you are
so fun you Oh me too?
Speaker 3 (47:07):
This was so fun. And what's your podcast called.
Speaker 7 (47:10):
It's called Dinners on Me.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
Dinner's on Me and invite me anytime in all?
Speaker 7 (47:13):
Oh my god, would you do it?
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Absolutely?
Speaker 7 (47:15):
I think you're on the schedule.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
Action Oh okay, well then that was the trick. What
was that?
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Was that? A like you push you well, you're like
throwing a carrot against the wall over there.
Speaker 8 (47:24):
Yeah yeah, yeah, basically basically that's exactly what happened. I
think you were on the schedule, but then maybe we
had to reschedule.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
I don't will definitely do It'll be fine. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Add a little alcohol to this and what most what
could happen? Okay, thank you, bye, guys. We'll see you
next week. Bye. Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you, guys,
I'm gonna be in Hawaii on Maui, Ka, Huluee and Honolulu.
I will be there in July. Also, in July. I'm
coming to Niagara Falls on July twenty seventh. I'm coming
(47:52):
to Hollywood, Florida for my only show in Florida on
July twenty eighth. I'll be in Auburn, Washington on August first,
and then Santa Rosa, California for my second show August second.
August seventeenth is the Santa Barbara Bowl.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
You do not want to miss that. And then I.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and
Kansas City, and.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the
Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates
in Vegas are September first, Labor Day weekend, and then
November two and November thirtieth.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York, at the Kings Theater
on November eighth.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of
the year in December, so if you're in a city
like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans
or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
Okay, If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an
email at Dear Chelsea podcast at.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Gmail dot com and be sure to include your phone number.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Katherine Law and be sure to check out our
march at Chelseahandler dot com
Good morning, a good afternoon, Buenos Harda, Buenos Dia, Buenos
I don't know, is it Buenos tardaes.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Buenos tardes. I guess we're saying that you left Spain
a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I know I'm gonna and guess where. I just landed
in Hawaii, so I don't even know what language I'm speaking.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Aloha.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I did the same thing last year when we went
to Hawaii. Everyone kept saying Aloha, and I kept responding.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
With ola, Yeah, exactly, exactly. So Molly and I, Molly
and I flew in before my shows on Maui and
then Honolulu, and all of our cousins and their babies
are here. So we're about to go to the beach
and get down to business.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Amazing, I'm so pleased for you. Well, I just came
from your house.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Oh what was going on there?
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Well, we got Tamikas who's charming into lightfall?
Speaker 5 (00:47):
Oh, Gustavaria.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Gustavaria, that's what I've ready named him, Goose, And well Goose,
his name is Gus and he's one of my new
assistants and.
Speaker 5 (00:55):
He speaks Spanish.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
So I'm like, Gus, we are only speaking Spanish, and
so I call it Gustavenia.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
In my mind that means I would like Gus. So
we'll see who's Doug there at the house.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes, he was a totally well quaffed good boy, was he.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I asked Gus if he'd been sassy at all, and
he said, no, he's been a perfectly well behaved good boy.
He just got back from two weeks of training.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Two weeks. He had five weeks of training. He went
to training nept for five weeks. They sent me videos
of him at the store where they would go Doug sit,
He'd sit, and then they'd go lie down and he
lies down, and then then get a toy treat and
they shake it like ten feet away from him, and
he stays.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And I'm like, oh my god, if this dog training
company worked, I can't wait to tell everyone about it.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, well, you'll have to tell me about it because
Wendell has decided that if we're in the pool, we're
in grave danger. So now he wants to bark at
us when we're in the pool, and it's all it's
just a mess.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So well, I got even better news. I found out
that that Doug is flying with me. I'm gonna go
see a concert at Red Rocks. And there's this new airline,
agg Bark Airlines that you could travel with your dog on.
And then Jetsuitet also allows you to bring your dogs.
So I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to bring
dog with me everywhere.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
It's over for every other airline. Yeah, flying first class.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I wanted to a special shout out also to Australia
and New Zealand because we had such an epic time there.
We had so much fun. Sydney is one of the
most beautiful cities.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
In the world.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
That harbor we went whale watching on the.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Last day and we we went out of the harbor
and went into these ten to fifteen feet swells on
this like whale watching boat and the woman came around
and started passing out like vomit bags to everyone. Oh no,
all of these people were throwing up. I've never been
in sea that high. It was epic and I Molly
and I of course love that, so we didn't get sick.
(02:46):
But we saw so many pods of whales and it
was really really beautiful and I just can't get enough
of the food in Sydney, and like the way they
the way the beaches are, this harbor that like they
do all of this like beautiful stuff, and they create
all these stone steps so everybody can sit on the
harbor have lunch. They have all these parks right on
the harbor. I'm like, why don't we do that in
all of our beach towns in California?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You know, Sam is boring after a while.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
We need more action, some like rocky beaches.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I had that. I just that
was great. I always have a good time when we
go to Australia, but this was especially great.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Choplin with my cousin.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, well, onto her guest today.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Today we have one.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I mean, this is gonna be This is one of
the funniest episodes ever. He's the host of a podcast
called Dinners on Me, but you probably know him from
many other a bevy of other things. So please welcome
one of my favorite people, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I'm sitting
here with my friend Jesse Tyler Ferguson. When was the
last time I saw you?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Do you remember?
Speaker 7 (03:44):
It's been a while.
Speaker 8 (03:44):
I feel like I might have seen you, like the
Hollywood Bowl or something Hollywood Bowl, neither of us.
Speaker 7 (03:53):
Hilary Swing's house. Oh remember that a.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Long times ago. Right, she's had twins. Since she's had.
Speaker 7 (04:00):
Like four different she's like husband and now twins.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Well we should say she's happily married now.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
But she has been through She's been through a few
of them.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I was with her with like three.
Speaker 8 (04:13):
Different I know, I mean I think I was. I
haven't seen her for like since like two husbands ago.
Speaker 7 (04:19):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (04:20):
Every time I was speak to her, She's like, you
have to meet so and so. It's like, well, what
happened to you know? Lots of his face. There's always
someone new. But I'm glad she's happy.
Speaker 7 (04:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Can you imagine if we just made a whole podcast
about Hillary Swank's love life Jesse and I just.
Speaker 7 (04:34):
I mean, we could fill it more than an hour.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
She would probably be fine with it.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Knowing her anyway, Okay, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is here in studio.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I'm so happy to see you.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I haven't seen you in many years, but here we
are reunited with Doug in studio.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
Love Doug. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
How are you my friend?
Speaker 7 (04:48):
I'm really good?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
What is happening? In your life.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Besides promoted coming on to promote a new podcast, which
everybody is going to be very anger about.
Speaker 7 (04:56):
Everyone has a podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
There's hardly any podcast, Jesse.
Speaker 8 (04:59):
I don't know what, hardly any of them. I have
actually been very prolific, prolific recently. Yeah no, I was
doing theater for a while and then the strikes all happened,
and now I'm just like doing this podcast.
Speaker 7 (05:10):
But hopefully things are going to start happening soon. I
don't know. I'm happy to have the podcast to focus.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
What is the podcast about.
Speaker 8 (05:16):
It's called Dinners on Me, and I basically take my
guess out to a dinner and we have alcohol. Alcohol
is sometimes included, well it should be, should be I
mean whatever you guys want.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
To order at dinner, for sure.
Speaker 7 (05:27):
Yeah, sometimes it's like a breakfast, but.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
It's oh well, yeah, well then just better.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I always believe a little alcohol during an interview setting
is helpful for people, for sure, who get nervous being interviewed.
Speaker 8 (05:38):
Although I would go on watch What Happens Live and
I would have a little bit of alcohol, and there's
been a few times where it's like I shouldn't have
done that.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, right, I know what you mean. I mean because
you yeah, you get it.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It should be a sip or like a half a
drink before you're on television.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Not more than that. Yeah yeah yeah, because then that
shows it shows up.
Speaker 8 (05:53):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you can tell, you can tell,
but yeah, it's just a meal. I love that it
sort of takes the podcast out of the studio where
an avest front. You hear the waiter come over the table,
you order.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Sorry to inter up, but Brad, can you fix Jesse's mic?
It's kind of falling down.
Speaker 7 (06:07):
It's yeah, move it closer, move it closer my mouth.
Put it in my.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Mouth septicles that we can use, literally put his.
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Dick in my mouth. I was like, oh, hi, what's
her name?
Speaker 8 (06:21):
That's what He has a girlfriend, who's always setting up
with her with like different guys.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Who has a girlfriend justin.
Speaker 8 (06:27):
My husband has a girlfriend and we're always setting her
up with these different guys. And he's like, I literally
put a dick in the roll's mouth last night.
Speaker 7 (06:37):
It is true.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
I set someone up.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Recently, my friend was like having a relationship with a woman,
her first relationship with a woman for about nine months,
and she's like, I'm ready to try men again, and
I was like, I think I have someone that I
used to have sex with who I'm no longer having
sex with.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
That is available and great in bed, and.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
He's a friend of mine still I highly recommended and
comes I'm like, I can vouch for him, and she's like,
I don't want to sex with anyone you did. I
got why we're all having sex.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Who cares if you have to.
Speaker 7 (07:06):
I want to know who all the players are in
the story.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
It's over and the sex with me and him is over,
so like, go for it, but there's no that attraction
is over anyway, she goes out with him.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I'm sure you know both of these people.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
She goes out with him, and the next morning she's like,
oh my god, it was a total We had such
a great time. You know, yeah, I would be like
interested in seeing him again. He said, thank you so
much for setting us up. It's a great time, Like
I would be so interested in And I was like, oh,
I've successfully set up two people just off the top
of my.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
Head, an ex lesbian and an ex level and an
ex lover.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I mean so I feel like it made me feel
very good about myself.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Are great?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Well?
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Also and that you had good taste and you know
your previous.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Lovers, I mean did I I don'n't know.
Speaker 7 (07:49):
I don't know who this person is right here.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I do have good taste. He has he's good to.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
Every time I've seen you with someone, I was like, oh,
that makes sense. Who are you with now?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I'm not sure? Okay, I don't know where I am.
I don't know who I'm with. I don't know what
I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Okay, all right, you've been in a relationship for a
long time.
Speaker 7 (08:07):
A really long time. We just see children, two children now. Yeah,
I don't think.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I've seen you since I had kids, not twins.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I usually cut off relationships with people when they have children,
So that makes sense.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
That does make its tracks. It's all tracks. Yeah, I have.
I've been married. I'll be eleven years in July that
I've been married. And we have a four year old
and like eighteen month.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Old, And how is that?
Speaker 7 (08:28):
It's fine, it's good, it's good, it's good. Yeah. Yeah.
My husband just looked at a school today, like we're
at that place where.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
We're looking at Yeah. I mean, oh my god. You
really have to think about everything when you're having a kid.
It's not just about having a kid, it's about the
next twenty years of getting raped by every school system.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I mean, it's so ridiculous the stories I.
Speaker 8 (08:51):
Hear now, I know, I know in Justin's you know,
he's on like group chats with all the other moms
and like it's he's the only like for the only
sex couple at the preschool right now. So he's like,
all the he's on this group chat with all these
moms and then he's like and then me, Justin, and
they're all talking about schools because they're all, you know,
trying to figure out where to place their kids as well,
and they're just really working him up. He gets worked
(09:14):
up very easily, and he's really stressing out about things.
So I'm glad he finally looked at a school so
that we could have something like feasible, you know, like
actually like concrete to look at.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, how do you feel about how would you grade
yourself as a parent.
Speaker 8 (09:28):
I think I'm doing okay. We have I think I'm
doing okay. I benefit from a lot of help we have.
My mother in law is really helpful. I'm pretty good,
but I definitely need like breaks. So it's good to have.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
And when you say breaks, like, what do you mean,
like like going away for like twenty twenty one days,
one days, twenty eight days every six months. Yeah, I
like to go away for twenty eight days.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
I'll leave a photo of myself by the crib and enter.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's actually a great plan for me. That's what I needed.
Like when I work two months, I need a month off.
I'm like, you go, go, go, go go. And then
you know, like when your sometimes are slow, they're super slow,
and then when you're busy, you're like, I don't even know.
I feel like I'm in the middle of a nervous
breakdown totally.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know.
Speaker 8 (10:09):
I get built in breaks because I get to go
away for work sometimes, So that's nice. Yeah, no, it's fine,
it's fine. I mean, my my husband doesn't let be
left one with the kids.
Speaker 7 (10:18):
I did.
Speaker 8 (10:18):
I was going to play in New York for like
four months and right after my second was born, and
I was like, Papa was a rolled in stone, like
he had no idea who I was, you know, just not.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Present, right, right. That's I've had the kind of relationship,
but only with one of my dogs. An actual person,
which would be more. Yeah, so you're actually worse, a
worse person than I at in that comparicon. Yeah right,
how did you like that schedule for the theater?
Speaker 7 (10:43):
It's hard, it is.
Speaker 8 (10:44):
It's hard because also people think that, you know, you
only work like a few hours in the evening and
like you have your whole day free.
Speaker 7 (10:49):
I'm like, you're a monster.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You have your whole day to stress out about performing
that night is what you have.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I don't think I could do that schedule. Yes you could, No,
I don't. I couldn't. First of all, seven day or
six day a week.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
Right, or is it seven six days a week eight performances, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Six days a week. I need more than one day
wake off.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
And I understand that what that goes into that because
I do stand up, I mean I don't do feat
or so I'm not you know, it's me just being myself.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
So it's probably in a sense much easier.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
But knowing all day long that you have to do
what you have to do, it affects everything you do,
every all day, all day.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Yeah, keep it all day.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I prefer to just do stand up in the morning,
record myself and be done with it and send it
out that night, you know what I.
Speaker 8 (11:28):
Mean totally so that I yeah, yeah, yeah, I could
do what you want tonight totally. I know I'm not
I'm not great. That's the other thing that's changed with kids,
Like I really am starting to shut down at like
six thirty PM. That's if we're not like in the
process of eating dinner. I'm kind of screwed because I
want to be I want to be sleeping by the
time Mike, Yeah, my kids go down, which is eight
(11:49):
eight o five.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I sleep pretty or I go to sleep pretty early.
Last night. I was in bed at seven thirty.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And I mean I because I get ship done between
like five am and eight am are like or six
to nine. I can get a lot done and then
I'm much more productive. But around That's how I feel
like anytime I have plans at night, and I don't
have kids, so I don't know if this is an
age thing. It must be, because anytime I have plans
at night, I'm like, is it gonna happen? Like? Am
I gonna be able to truly truck through that? I
(12:18):
find La to be such a sleepier town. When I'm
in New York. I'm capable of many many more things.
Speaker 8 (12:24):
Absolutely, you can fill a night. But also if I
know I have to do something like it anytime after
eight pm, if I'm not out of my house, I
won't make it like I need to be taken out
of my house. I need to be entertained the premises
and tell whatever this event.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
It's like actually like a kid, right, you have to
keep me entertained until I have to go perform or
because every every engagement is that there's a level of performance,
which is also fucking annoying.
Speaker 7 (12:53):
I wouldn't have to take anything to help you sleep.
Do you take weed or.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Oh yeah, I take all sorts of shit. I take gummies.
Sometimes I take Xanax. If I'm traveling and there's a
time difference, I've decided, most recently to ignore time zones.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I've decided they don't have Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I have like this whole like international loop I'm doing,
and I'm like, I'm just gonna have to get ahead
of this because that's.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
All i have.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's the only defense I have. But I will take
like xanax for that. I love Xanax. Xanax is my favorite.
And then I but I try not to take that,
you know, multiple anxiety as well or just you. I
recently started to use it, like I tried it for
anxiety during the day because I had I went through
like a stressful couple of months recently with my house
(13:37):
and all this stuff that was going on. I just
felt very stressed out, and I was taking it during
the day. I was also smoking multiple joints a day
during the day. And then I was like, I've got
to get through this period of time. And then, of
course those periods of time always come to an end, right,
like you're out of the cycle of the level of
stress you felt. It doesn't ever, that's the great thing
(13:57):
about being stressed out. It doesn't last. Yeah, so that
feels good. I feel much better this week. I feel
much better, like, you know, higher vibes. Yeah, less less
like I'm in the afternoon, like where's the xanax? Like
I'm okay now, yeah, well me needs a joint and ax.
I just but I love joyts. Do you like smooking
weed you like I do?
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Gummies?
Speaker 6 (14:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Much better for you to day cummies.
Speaker 7 (14:21):
Yes, one of my favorite things that you you did.
I miss it. I don't know if you had a
good experience doing it. But was it The Chelsea does.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Series, Yes, I love that they loved.
Speaker 8 (14:29):
And The Chelsea does Drugs. Yes, well you had the
weed meal and then you went on aahuasca as well. Yes,
fucking fantastic. Oh thanks fantastic. I just love watching that
that dinner too, and you and like fortune like that
group of people.
Speaker 7 (14:42):
Skinting so ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
We were high for seven days after that that. You
don't understand what was like because it was in the food.
So yeah, you know you drugged yourself. Like, you can't
overdose on weed, that's the thing. You can just get
super super hot. No, you could just act like a
moron for a week, or you could do that for
your podcast. But it's better with the visuals. I guess
are you going to have visuals on your podcast?
Speaker 7 (15:03):
We haven't done that yet because people don't like eating
in front of a camera.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Oh yeah, that is a problem.
Speaker 8 (15:07):
And also we're in restaurants you now, and there's you know,
real people having meals around us.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
But David Chang is doing that show on more Like.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
I mean that's a TV show. They have a budget.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Oh right right, and no one Moreover, nobody wants to
hear people eating now, so I forget. I want to
cancel what I retracted my earlier statement. Okay, we're going
to take a break and we'll be right back with
Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
This week.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
We'd love for you to write in about your secrets.
If you'd like advice about a secret that you're keeping
for yourself or someone else. Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
And we're back with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who is an
absolute delight. We're just sitting here gossiping in the back
about our lives. Basically, I don't know if you can
gossip about yourself. I guess that's not gossiping. You can,
you can, so apparently I was. We're going to have
people call in and write in, and you put your
(16:08):
good LA therapy.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I'm assuming you've been to therapy?
Speaker 7 (16:12):
Have I ever?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
That LA therapy will come in handy because our first
email comes from m and the subject line is.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
We ho gay needs help.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Oh it's a local.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
It's a local.
Speaker 7 (16:25):
I probably know this person.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I love to give back to the community, so let's go.
I just sat up so erectly.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Disappoint him, so Em says, Dear Chelsea, I'm going to
keep this as concise as possible, because as an avid listener,
I know you hate lengthy right.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
INDs, thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I'm a thirty two year old gay man in West Hollywood.
I've been best friends with a guy for going on
nine years. Moving to LA from a red state, he
brought me out of my bubble. I've always been outgoing,
a down low, straight passing guy, but he made me
feel comfortable being gay.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I love him.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
He's integrated into my life and truly is someone I
care about and don't want to lose. Here's the issue.
He almost consistently goes after any guy I show interest in,
usually after I've hooked up with them or we've dated.
I found out recently through mutual friends he hooked up
with a guy I had intense feelings for and had
a bad falling out with.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I told him about those feelings, and yet a month
later he's diving in. I don't think this guy is
worth ruining a friendship over, but I think the pattern
of my friend is troubling. I called him out, put
some distance between us, and I don't know how to
move forward. What's going on here? Please help me work
through how to move on and keep this friendship going,
hopefully with better boundaries.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
M Well, Jesse, it sounds like you're up.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Well, let me just tell you.
Speaker 8 (17:45):
I've been this guy in this situation I had when
I first moved to La. I'd go out with my
he's a famous actor.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I'll tell you that you have such a very euphonious voice.
It's gonna be great on a podcast. Seriously, it's just
very nice here and to listen.
Speaker 8 (18:01):
Yeah, but we every time he went out, he would
hook up with the person I showed interest in it
every time. Yeah, someone someone I'm sure you know. And
we remain friends. And I just had to sort of
decide whether or not, like his friendship was meaningful enough
for me to you know, over overlook that. I mean,
every time I went out he was at my side.
Like there was moments that I went out with other
(18:21):
people and then I didn't have to worry about him.
Speaker 7 (18:23):
But like I did make fun of him.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
It's like, I can't believe everyone I showed interest in you,
like immediately go after.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, that just sounds like sabotage, right, latant sabotage jealousy,
so like like try to sabotage, you get in your way.
Speaker 8 (18:37):
Gay communities trying to sabotage. They're all trying to sleep
with each other. That's a thing. I mean, men are dogs.
And then you put a whole bunch of men who
earned another man in the same room expecting.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
To happen exactly right. It almost gives you permission.
Speaker 8 (18:51):
To do whatever you want want all gay bachelor because
everyone would just be fucking each other in the Bachelor
house like it hasn't happened because it wouldn't have because
if the rules are they don't apply.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (19:02):
So I don't know.
Speaker 8 (19:03):
I kind of feel like it is sort of just
the way of it sucks with your friends doing that
to you. But I don't know, I don't know, I
really I think you just kind of have to lean
into it or yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, absolutely you could lean into it, or like do
you need to be friends with this person? Is like
did I miss Is he just in the general group
of everybody?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
No, they're like they're like besties. It's like.
Speaker 7 (19:27):
Yeah, support system.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Okay, so well then you're gonna have to really work
just to get past it and accept the behavior.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
And I mean not what am I saying?
Speaker 7 (19:39):
Just take it.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
No, you're gonna have to talk, Like don't you think
they have to have a conversation, like because you have
to be called.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Out for that, don't you.
Speaker 8 (19:45):
But I think he said he did have a conversation
about like how that guy like really hurt him and
the guy went after him any ways.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Right, yeah, And I do I do like the making
fun of him for it that you mentioned earlier, like.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Like he's gotta be yeah, like you can't ignore it.
It is very obnoxious behavior from your friend, Like yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
I mean, like next time he's showing interest in someone,
like but I better step aside becase you're probably going
to roll right on over there, aren't you. I mean,
I don't know, Listen, I'm always up for like being
super upfront with someone letting them know when you're you know,
annoyed with their behavior. But it's at the end of
the day, you got to realize there are a whole
bunch of gay men in a room and they're all
just going to try and sleep with poor Maybe you're
(20:25):
not being active enough, maybe our writer, maybe AM's not
being active enough and like being aggressive enough. Maybe it's
just an opportunity to up up the game.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I don't like to, Like I wouldn't be friends with
somebody that was doing that all the time, you know
what I mean, Like there's too many there's too many
other people to hang out with.
Speaker 7 (20:40):
That that's true. Well, maybe fine.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I just want to be friends with somebody who is
like openly trying to sabotage me after I called them
out about it and continue to do it. It's like,
is that friendship actually worth it for you? If it is,
then yeah, get over it. So there we go, a
problem solved and and I'm done for the day. Okay,
bocking out, blocking out, You're welcome.
Speaker 7 (21:02):
Well.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Our next question comes from Cameron. Cameron says, Dear Chelsea,
I'm a fifty year old gay man. I had lots
of sex in the past, living in Mexico, Spain, Argentina,
and Brazil.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
I think I'm stuck like the type.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I think I'm stuck thinking that I'm only quote interesting
while being a foreigner loving abroad and domestic relationships seem
out of reach. Since I feel like I am a
dim ad dozen average homo. What is your secret to
cultivating exciting relationships while globe trotting, and is my love
of adventure abroad a sign that I'm unable to have
a long term relationship or is it just fun loving you?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Cameron?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
There is something about being a vagabond and Catherine, we
had someone call on the other day where this was
kind of analogous where there is something about being very
peripatetic around the world and apothetic and also, yeah, yeah,
try try and keep it like somebody who's constantly on
the move.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Okay, okay, now spell it. Spell it p A R I.
Speaker 7 (21:57):
T E P E T I c very pathetic.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
So there is something about when you're a vagabond or
a globe trotter or however you want to, like, when
you bounce around a lot. No, mad, you're not very yeah,
you're not very anchored anywhere. So it kind of is
prohibitive to actually finding a long term love. But what
I'm hearing from him is that he just wants adventure
love and all these different ports in the storm.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Correct, Like, that's also what I'm about. I like that.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Yeah, And Cameron, do we have you with us here?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh he's on the phone.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, Oh yeah, he's on the phone.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Great, let's get down to business. I mean, we have
Jesse Tyler Ferguson here.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Who better? Who better to guide us through this storm?
Speaker 8 (22:38):
We have the same taste in men all those countries
are like yep, I get it feels like everyd.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
But it feels like every gay guy loves those times.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Oh yeah, that's true. That's true, that's true. We do.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
There's also something so mysterious about being, you know, the
stranger in a new land. But it's what I was
also getting from him is that he was frustrated, that
sense of he's more enticing in other countries, like he's
not as exciting here.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Well, I can relate to this because I travel so much.
I love to be on the move.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Like I get very bored if I'm in like La
for too long, And I have no reason to be
other than Doug who you know.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Oh there he is, Hi, Good to see you.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
We have Jesse Tyler Ferguson here today as our special guest.
Speaker 7 (23:21):
Hello, Chelsea, Hey, how's it going good?
Speaker 6 (23:26):
Dish?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Okay, So elaborate a little bit on your letter, like
are you looking for a long term relationship or are
you looking for just more lovers in different places?
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Well, I would take either one of those. But you know,
I love a relationship that is distant but.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Close, And how do you mean.
Speaker 7 (23:51):
I would like.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
To feel like I have access to a relationship, but
I don't want in my place all the time.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Right, I'm with you, I relate to you completely. I
feel the same way. I like to have little fun actions.
But repeated customers like it's nice to have you know
the same guy like somebody in Spain that I see
when I go there, and somebody I see when I
go there and there.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
So I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
But I would say that attitude in it of itself,
it doesn't have to be prohibitive, but it can be.
Like for me, I had to really change the way
that I looked at it. I had to really kind
of energetically be more open minded about being open about
what I was looking for with other people. But like
saying very honestly and upfront in the beginning, like making
(24:38):
it very clear, this is fun, this is not going
to be long term.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
If it is, that wouldn't be the plan.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Everything is going to be happening naturally and there's no
pressure on anything, and I will also be dating other people.
I feel like when you are very honest with yourself
about being that way, it attracts more people that are
interested in what you're doing and are like minded. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (25:00):
I just think that your situation is ideal for me
because I would love to have that kind of opportunity
to jump around a little bit.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
And didn't you say that that's what you were doing,
is going to Argentina and to Brazil and all these
different places.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Yeah. I lived in all of those places and really
had a lot of success because I kind of had
a built in narrative about how I'm interesting because I'm
living in these different countries, or I am a foreigner
who has a little bit of extra sparkle because of that.
Speaker 8 (25:39):
Are you thinking that you don't you don't have that
shine and sparkle here? Yeah, okay here in America.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Yeah, it just doesn't feel like I have the same
amount of a llure.
Speaker 8 (25:50):
I think that's just you being down on yourself because
I think you're very allowing.
Speaker 7 (25:53):
What is it? I hear an accent? Where are you from?
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Oh? Minnesota? Oh?
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Really? Okay?
Speaker 8 (26:00):
All of a sudden, like Dutch or something, Just say
you're Dutch. Just go in like be like I'm I'm
here from Switzerland.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Strategy.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
First of all, like inhibit that this this aura that
you want, like when you're feeling like you're down on yourself,
that kind of shows up in your physicality and I
can kind of see it as you're talking about it.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
I mean, if you believe that, then that is kind.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Of your truth. If you choose to believe you are
from you have had all these experiences. I'm sorry, I
thought you met you were currently going to all these places,
so I misread that but or misheard it. But I
think you need to just like build yourself back up
and whether that's like every day being like all right,
here's a new day. Here's a new day for me
to have like positive energy about myself. All of those
(26:44):
things that you're talking about are part of your history
that makes you a unique person and a unique human
being who has something to offer people that nobody else
has to offer them, don't you think?
Speaker 7 (26:54):
Yeah? Also, where are you living right now in Seattle? Okay?
Do you tend to go to the same places over
and over and over, like your same haunts? If you
go out?
Speaker 6 (27:04):
No, I'm not going out a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Oh well, that's part of the problem too. You got
to get out there. You got to go to things,
go to events, go to concerts. Do you like music, Yeah, yeah,
go to concerts. Go to like low key concerts, you
know where you're going to be mingling with people and
standing around talking to people, and go to bars and
get yourself out in the world a little bit more.
Nothing's going to come and knock on your door if
(27:28):
you're not out there, you know.
Speaker 8 (27:30):
Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a way of like
treating your own hometown like you would treat a city
you were visiting, like you in Argentina or something, and
looking for those fun places where you would meet people.
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Yeah, that is I think hard to do because it
seems like, oh, I know what I'm gonna see when
I go out, or I know who I'm going to meet.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
But you don't. You don't.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
You're like stabbing yourself in the foot before you get
out the door. You don't know who you're going to
see or who you're going to meet. And you should
turn that whatever phrase, your phrase of yours, do the
opposite and start thinking the opposite. Just say I don't
know who I'm going to meet, I don't know what
I'm going to see, so you have to just do
a complete dipsy doodle and flip around, flip it and
reverse it, flip it.
Speaker 7 (28:14):
And reverse it.
Speaker 8 (28:14):
But yeah, like go like find the local museums, like
all the things you would do when you were traveling.
I mean, Seattle is an incredible city. There's so much
to do there.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Yeah, you just have to get outside of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Go to some like events or like they have public
readings of things. You can go to book events where
they have authors. You know, those kind of intimate settings
where you're going to have something in common with the
other people that are there and you're going to have
a natural spark of conversation.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
But get off of your ass and get out of
your house.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
As the bottom line, you're a well traveled, distinguished, good
looking guy like who wouldn't want to come talk to you?
But I think you know, Chelsea, you're hitting the nail
on the head too. It's not like you don't have
to go be in the club. Go somewhere where you
can strike up a conversation with someone.
Speaker 6 (28:57):
Yeah, that's really good advice.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I was like, what's the curb? I was like, what,
don't go there, sir, Do not knock, go there.
Speaker 7 (29:05):
The curb's no good.
Speaker 6 (29:06):
Yeah, it's a weird age, you know, fifty, because it's.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Not though I'm forty nine, it's not forty eight.
Speaker 7 (29:13):
I'll be forty nine a few months. It's not that
we're fine.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
He always says, whatever age I am, he does that. Yeah,
it's bullshit, by the way, that Yeah, it's not a
weird age.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
It's a weird age. That's exactly.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
There's another sentence. Fifty is a great age. Opposites everything
you're saying. Do the opposite of fifty is awesome. This
is a new adventure, it's a new chapter. Get excited
about your life, because no one is going to get
excited about your life until you do.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Yeah, and I think also find some like cute polyamorous
person who like doesn't want to be in your space
all of the time, but can give you those wonderful
cuddles that you deserve and the intimacy.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Also, you know, you can go on these dating websites
or apps, all of them and be very clear about
what you're looking for, like a casual lover or whatever.
You know, the term anology that you're supposed to use.
I don't think that's it.
Speaker 7 (30:02):
No casual lover's not.
Speaker 8 (30:04):
It can definitely attest to that is a forty eight
and eleven month old.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
But you could go and be very clear about what
your intentions are.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
You know, I know a lot of women probably want more,
or you think that they want more, but you'll be
surprised to find out that there are a lot more
people on your wavelength than you think.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Oh no, cameraon dates fellas.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, well, everything so far about this call I've gotten wrong,
So there's no reason to stop now.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
I mean, I can't even keep track of what's going on.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Maybe I'm in a midlife I mean, I'm in a breakdown,
you know what I'm actually, I'm in my mental breakdown.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
You know what they say, fifty is a weird year.
Speaker 6 (30:44):
To decide crisis you want to have. But yeah, it's
good advice to just get over myself and get out.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Oh yeah, definitely get out.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
And gay men are definitely not going to care that
you want to have casual relationships at all.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Okay, I just appreciate the advice, and I.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Think I don't. I don't think you should thank me,
thank Jesse, but I don't. Obviously I've got another podcast
right now.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
He's like, I called into dear Chelsea.
Speaker 7 (31:13):
It's so weird. Everything was wrong.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
It's like going to a psychic or medium and they're like,
I see you have a son. They're like, I don't
like I see him though. All right, Well, anyway, good
luck and keep us posted when you find your part
time lover or all of your part time lovers. But
also listen when I'm before you go, I do want
to be serious about saying that you have to talk
(31:39):
to yourself in a positive way. It actually makes a difference.
You may think I don't know what I'm talking about,
but I do.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
I do know. I do it all the time.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
If you get into a negative headspace, it's your job
to get yourself out of it, and you have to
do that by being positive, putting yourself out in nature,
going out and doing things that you normally wouldn't do.
It really builds your self esteem and it builds your
self worth. So stop poop pooing on everything and saying
this isn't going to be fun, and say this is
gonna be fun. I'm going to go out and have
(32:06):
a good time, and I promise you're going to start
having a better time in life.
Speaker 6 (32:09):
Hey, I will stop poop pooing.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Okay, all right, peace out, Thanks Cameron, bye bye.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Wow that was a real doozy, mostly for.
Speaker 7 (32:19):
Me, but mostly for me.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Oh my god, it looked like he was in the
Hampton's Like it reminded me of like Shelter Island. Have
you ever been to Shelter Island? I was like, Oh,
that looks so nice, cold, wet, rainy. I love that
everyone in La hates the rain. I love the rain.
I love that East Coast like damp where.
Speaker 7 (32:38):
You don't really moody weather.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Yeah, where you don't want to go out having to
go out.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Yeah, like watching tea, just getting a bed, watching TV
at like two in the afternoon. I love that.
Speaker 7 (32:46):
Seattle.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, well, if you go to Seattle, you go to
bed at too, because it's dark. Out of three, what's next, Catherine.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Well, our next color is Genevieve and Jesse. I think
this is like a perfect call for you. So I'm
really excited that this worked out timing wise. From what
I have read, this is part of your truths, So
Genevieve says, Dear Chelsea, I grew up laughing at your
comedy on Chelsea Lately, and you definitely shaped my sense
of humor into what it is today. I was excited
(33:14):
to learn you not only had a podcast, but we're
offering your solicited advice.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I'm a regular at my local gym, and I self
identify as a total battie. I love feeling strong and
sexy during my workouts, but nothing ruins my workout harder
than unwanted thirsty gym boys hitting on me during my session.
When I'm at the gym, I tend to avoid eye contact,
stay focused on my workout, and never ever smile at anyone.
I'm here for myself and not to socialize. However, right,
(33:41):
calmed down, Fuck, we get it. She should wear one
of those signs no molested, no moll'star. However, lately, this
new boy has started working out at the same time
as me, and I have to admit I cannot not
notice him. He is sexy and delicious, one hundred percent
my type, and I want to know who he is.
(34:03):
I feel stumped. How do I approach this sexy man
at a place where I so strongly hate being hit
on myself. I can tell that he too, is focused
on his own workout, and I understand how annoying it
can be when someone interrupts Genevieve.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Wow, this is just very pressing matter. Hi Genevieve, Hi Genevieve.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Hi guys.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Okay, so you're trying to just figure out how to
basically go up.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
And hit on this guy or introduce yourself not hit
on him.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah, in a space where like I don't want people
to approach me in that area, and I can tell
he's focused on his workout.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
We're doing different things, like how do I go up?
Speaker 3 (34:38):
And like just even can't you find him on Instagram?
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Like it would be better to DM him? I think
in that scenario, how to find out his name?
Speaker 3 (34:46):
You mean yelling?
Speaker 4 (34:48):
How do you find someone on Instagram?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Well, first you have to find out what their name is.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Yeah, go to the girls at the front and be like, listen,
I think that guy's cute. Tell me his name. Oh
that's good, get them on your team.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
But then she's talking to people she doesn't want to
talk to. That's a very.
Speaker 7 (35:07):
Difficult The reason quite a predicament.
Speaker 8 (35:09):
She's like, look, I want I want to I want
this to go down, but I want to go down
my terms.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
I want this to go down, but I'm not willing
to break the rules, so I put in place to
make this go down.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
So it's very Yes, it is quite a predicament.
Speaker 8 (35:21):
I mean I would just put myself in the line
of fire with him, be like whatever he's doing, be like,
oh are you using this thing? So it doesn't look
like you're like like, hi, my name shouldn't be with charity, like,
but you're like, just it's a casual thing, so that
you could start a conversation, like even if he's like,
oh no, I'm done with that twenty pound or like whatever,
Like at least you've started some sort of a conversation.
(35:42):
You know, I met my husband at at the gym
in the locker room, So.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
You're way to bury the lead.
Speaker 7 (35:48):
I know, I know. That's why I feel like this
is why I was being teed up.
Speaker 4 (35:51):
I discovered this on the internet. I was hoping it
was true.
Speaker 8 (35:54):
Yeah, so I'm not I'm not. I'm not suggesting you
follow him into the locker room, although that would strike
up conversation. I mean he'd definitely be like, what what's
going on. That's all to say, you never know where
you're going to meet your your your person, and I
didn't think i'd meet mine in the locker room of
the Equinox them West Hollywood.
Speaker 7 (36:13):
Calm down. I mean he also fully clothed. We were
fully closed.
Speaker 8 (36:21):
But that's where it happened, and so I would just
and you know what, Justin did not want to approach
me because he recognized me from television and he lived
in he'd grown up in LA and he's like, I
don't want to bother him. He probably gets bothered all
the time. And he's like, you know what, fuck it,
I'm going to say something. He had just started working
on marriage equality that we're trying to pass it here
in California with Proposition eight was happening, and so he's like,
(36:42):
I'm just going to talk to this guy and say,
I think that this show that you're on it's going
to really help that fight for marriage equality. So it
came from actually very like a very connected place. So
I think it's you know, as long as you're not
coming in a creepy way, I don't think there's anything
wrong with putting yourself in the line of fire and
be like are you done with this set? Or I've
seen you a lot here. You look like you're really
(37:04):
focused and you're looking good at whatever. I mean, I
don't know. I'm also terrible with like one.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
But no, I don't think it needs to be one liner.
I think that's true.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Like the spirit of it just has to be like
natural and organic, you know, I mean intentional, like you
want to go over there and you know, rush past
him or whatever or have an in interaction with him.
So if you keep in mind that that's what you're doing,
like in a fun way, like it doesn't have to
be awkward. You could just go, oh wow, like you're
super focused. You like, how focused to you?
Speaker 8 (37:33):
I'm breaking my own rule right now and saying hello
to someone at the gym. I hate when people say
hello to me.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
But that's cute. That's a good one.
Speaker 7 (37:39):
Yeah, look at you, Yeah you Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Would you ask him to teach you something?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Would you ever walk over and ask to be finger blasted?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Also a conversation starter.
Speaker 7 (37:50):
That is definitely render.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
It depends who you're talking to fingerplasted?
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Oh no, And then he's like, I have a girlfriend.
Speaker 7 (38:01):
Well then you know, and that's okay too.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
There will be more cute guys at the gym.
Speaker 8 (38:06):
Who cares I met justin whody had a boyfriend. I
asked him out and he's like, I'm actually seeing someone,
but we can go out his friends.
Speaker 7 (38:11):
It's like, oh no, I have enough friends yea.
Speaker 8 (38:13):
And it was fine, and then he came back around
he broke up with his boyfriend, and I was like, okay,
now let's go. But yeah, so he has a girlfriend. Like,
you're not like asking him out, you're just saying hi.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
And also who cares if so if he has a
girlfriend and that's the end of it, then great, more
information for you to move on. Or you could just
keep your mind open. Yeah, because people break up all
the time. It's not a big deal, so don't make
it one.
Speaker 7 (38:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
Yeah, and you're not creepy, so he will not be
creeped out.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Just remember when you're doing it, like this is gonna
be fun and light, like, have a good time doing it.
You know. When I was younger, people always used to
be like when I started, like performing live, people would
always be like, just have a good time, and you're like.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I fucking have a good time.
Speaker 7 (38:52):
Yeah, nervous, and I have to go.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Out there and I have to perform, And it's like
once you realize that it is really about having a
good time, and that your good time is going to
infect every other person you're coming into contact with. Then
you're fine and then you can have a good time.
So just think of it that way, like you're about
to go spread good vibes and good joy.
Speaker 7 (39:11):
And who doesn't like that? Who just like be encountered
with good vibes and good joy?
Speaker 8 (39:15):
Yeah, I mean even if he's like, oh, she might
have been heading on me, but I would be flattered
if someone came up to me at the gym and
just like struck up conversations like, oh maybe they think
I'm cute, Like it makes me feel good.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Okay, you're passing me up.
Speaker 6 (39:26):
That's good to hear.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Yeah, good.
Speaker 6 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
And I don't think you have to like ask him
to marry you, like the first time we talked to him.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Like I like a build of sexual tension.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Per my friend Wendy, it's nice to build a flirtation
because really a flirtation the beginning of the relationship is
the most fun part.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
And you could as long.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
As like, if you can stretch that out and have
a fun flirt imagine how much fun you're gonna have
going to the gym, just knowing that you're gonna bump
into him like every time.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
That's fun.
Speaker 7 (39:50):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
Yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I like that idea too. Okay, well, good luck, thank you.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
I appreciate your guys insight.
Speaker 7 (39:56):
Bye bye.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
That didn't feel like a real problem.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
I mean it was a real problem to poor Genevieve.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Yeah, I guess she must take her own rules at
the gym pretty serious, very seriously.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Like it's like, right, I made fuck.
Speaker 8 (40:13):
No, I can't say hello, I have a stretch with
no talking policy. She does.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
But I thought that Jesse would be the perfect person
to encourage her sense because.
Speaker 7 (40:23):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
I didn't know that story about you meeting your lover
or there.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
Yeah, I do love the added element in the locker room.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Oh gosh, let's take a quick break and we'll wrap
up with one other little question.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Okay, we're going to be right back with Jesse. He
has to take a bath. I'm going to give him
a bath, and we're back.
Speaker 7 (40:46):
I know I've.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Recently got in I've recently gotten into candles. I didn't
know about those earlier.
Speaker 7 (40:51):
But I can never reach it.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
No, no, no problem, I'm really good.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Actually, have very strong hands from being a mountain woman
all winter long, Catherine.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
So before we have to part.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Ways with my lover, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, this is a
very fun Episode's very fun.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
It's about to get a little more fun because Cias
is in a bit of a pickle.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Sia, uh no, just see, let's call her Sia. She's
see yah. She's using a sudame, so she's see you now.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Cia is just writing in so she's not joining us. Okay,
Dear Chelsea and Crewe, I'm in a bit of a pickle.
I'm twenty four years old and I've always thought myself
to be straight until a little over a year ago
when my best friend and I found ourselves after a
night of drinking to be making out later leading to sex.
It all felt right and we haven't stopped to this day.
(41:35):
Although we are both quote unquote straight, and I've still
had sex with other men throughout this but nothing more
than just casual hookups. I don't feel attracted to other women,
and neither does she, and we both have no plans
of coming out about our quote relationship anytime soon, but
there's definitely more jealousy when we're with other people or
don't spend almost every day together. We act like we're
(41:55):
in a relationship to each other, even admitting that we're
in love with each other, but remain friends to the
outside world. And for added context that makes this harder.
There's a fifteen year age gap between us, and we
live in a small town where everybody knows who we are.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
I'm just seeking advice to navigate the situation.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Do I stop completely to save ourselves from getting hurt
further as this all gets deeper, or do I just
keep going and see what happens?
Speaker 7 (42:18):
See?
Speaker 4 (42:18):
Yeah, she her?
Speaker 8 (42:20):
So what she's described to us, She's described to us
a relationship that's in the closet. That's like exactly what
that is? Yeah, so that let's just identify it first.
You're in a closet of relationship with your friend, which
you know, that's something I can definitely relate to.
Speaker 7 (42:38):
Listen.
Speaker 8 (42:38):
I mean, if you have feelings for one another, I
think you know it's worth talking about. I'm wondering where
she's from. Is it a small town that she doesn't
feel safe being out?
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I don't think she actually says where, But that's kind
of the sense I got.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I mean I'm all about like, if you're in love,
be in love, and then figure out your way, you know,
to make it happen to get.
Speaker 8 (43:00):
Yeah, I mean it sounds like if there's like jealousy
about you know, you being with other people and they
don't want to spend time apart, I mean, that's that's
what the best relationships. I mean, the jealousy part is
probably not great, but like, you know, but you should
want to spend a lot of time with the person exactly.
That's all. That's all good stuff. So I don't know,
(43:21):
I feel like there's got it. You have to figure
out a way to be comfortable in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
I agree. I think that.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
And I wish she did say something about where she
was from, because I would say, a, maybe you guys
should move together somewhere else where you're going to feel
more secure being out in the open, or be out
in the open where you are give people some room
to like accept it and and talk to your like,
if you really care and you're in love with each other,
then you should be talking about what your immediate future is.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Going to look like.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah, And I would encourage you to talk to like
if you want to talk to another party, like about
how you go about doing that in a more comfortable
way with both of your families.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
You should talk to a therapist about it.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
But I don't see, like this isn't going to end
well as a secret, right.
Speaker 8 (44:06):
Also this something that's interesting is that there's a fifteen
year age gap. I'm assuming she's fifteen years older because
if our writer's twenty four, correct, Yeah, so she's thirty
and nine ish, she's or.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Nine or nine, which is a really different question to
be asking, you know.
Speaker 8 (44:29):
I mean, she's she's lived a life, you know, if
you're almost forty years old, Like, I don't know, pardon me.
Feel also kind of feels like your friend needs to
be like, okay, like take take the reins a little bit,
help us out, Like is this a thing?
Speaker 7 (44:40):
Are we in love? Is this happening? Help me out? Mommy?
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah, I think you gotta.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah, somebody's got to step up to the plate, like
it just there's no good story ending you guys, if
you love each other, get together, figure out a plan
forward and do something about it.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
No, but I think that's good advice. And I think
that's the advice. She's kind of looking for. It's not
like just to ignore this and doesn't matter that you're
not attracted to other women.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
You're attracted to this woman.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Right, So she this woman's like thirty nine and she's
twenty four, so she's worried about like judgment about that.
And again I would say that you're twenty four years
old in the thirty nine that's not disgusting.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
No, And you know, kind of thinking about that like
age gap too, Like your best friend would have grown
up in a time where it was still like ooh,
are people going to come out or not. Maybe it's
for the younger person to take the lead of like
let's do this.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Yeah, you got there yet, right, I mean I've always
dated but men that are I mean I dated men
that were twenty years older than me for like twenty
years until they got too old, you know, and then
I had to dial it back. But age, yeah, there's
no like fifteen twenty years is fine. It's I think
when I mean, twenty years is a lot, but fifteen
years is okay.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
I think that's okay. Yeah, And also, yes, take.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
The lead as a younger person who's more with it
and you know, understands the way society and culture are
working these days. I would always like to I always,
as a personal rule, like to get ahead of a problem,
not behind one. And you should get ahead of you
this problem because it doesn't have to be a problem.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, stop dating other people because you're not interested in.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Them, and let us know what happens. Yeah, I'm so Yeah,
stop dating other people. You guys are obviously together. Yeah,
and let us know what Tony moved to.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
We're assuming it's the town, but like, I mean, maybe
it's not the town.
Speaker 7 (46:19):
She says.
Speaker 8 (46:20):
Everyone there knows who they are, everyone knows. It just
sounds like a very small town. So of course my
brain goes to a not very accepting place.
Speaker 7 (46:28):
But that's just me.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Yeah, well you're a gay person, so you would know
that better than me. I was just thinking why my
mind wouldn't think fat, And it's like, oh, because I'm
not discriminated against, right, right, right?
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Well the problem solved with that.
Speaker 7 (46:40):
I'll discriminate against you though.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I feel like I was going to ask you about
being discriminated against about something else that you were saying earlier.
I wanted to say, did you feel discriminated against? But
now I forgot what that was about. This has been
a blur.
Speaker 8 (46:54):
I don't even remember coming in this room. I feel
like I've been here for days. He woke up here
this morning. Oh my goodness, oh so funny.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
People are really going to enjoy this, Jesse, you are
so fun you Oh me too?
Speaker 3 (47:07):
This was so fun. And what's your podcast called.
Speaker 7 (47:10):
It's called Dinners on Me.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
Dinner's on Me and invite me anytime in all?
Speaker 7 (47:13):
Oh my god, would you do it?
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Absolutely?
Speaker 7 (47:15):
I think you're on the schedule.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
Action Oh okay, well then that was the trick. What
was that?
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Was that? A like you push you well, you're like
throwing a carrot against the wall over there.
Speaker 8 (47:24):
Yeah yeah, yeah, basically basically that's exactly what happened. I
think you were on the schedule, but then maybe we
had to reschedule.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
I don't will definitely do It'll be fine. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Add a little alcohol to this and what most what
could happen? Okay, thank you, bye, guys. We'll see you
next week. Bye. Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you, guys,
I'm gonna be in Hawaii on Maui, Ka, Huluee and Honolulu.
I will be there in July. Also, in July. I'm
coming to Niagara Falls on July twenty seventh. I'm coming
(47:52):
to Hollywood, Florida for my only show in Florida on
July twenty eighth. I'll be in Auburn, Washington on August first,
and then Santa Rosa, California for my second show August second.
August seventeenth is the Santa Barbara Bowl.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
You do not want to miss that. And then I.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and
Kansas City, and.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the
Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates
in Vegas are September first, Labor Day weekend, and then
November two and November thirtieth.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York, at the Kings Theater
on November eighth.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
And I have tickets on sale throughout the end of
the year in December, so if you're in a city
like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans
or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
Okay, If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an
email at Dear Chelsea podcast at.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Gmail dot com and be sure to include your phone number.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Katherine Law and be sure to check out our
march at Chelseahandler dot com
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