Men Found Useless with Cody Rigsby

Cody Rigsby joins Chelsea to talk about the career he never could have imagined as a kid, why monogamy isn’t for him, and fulfilling his true purpose of becoming a carpetbagger.  Then: A woman getting treatment for an autoimmune disorder is concerned about her family’s comments about her body.  A newlywed loses her motivation.  And a friend group is all sleeping together - only one wife doesn’t know it.  

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Check out Cody’s podcast Tactful Pettiness

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, Catherine.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hello, Hello Chelsea Handler. My name is Chelsea Handler.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
H A and D L E R. Hey.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Sure is how are you doing?

Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm ready for our show. I
have the Critics' Choice Awards tomorrow night. Everyone can watch
those on E What else do oh? I have exciting
new lemonade coming out, you guys. I partnered with a
lemonade brand called Well, a vodka brand, well a boozy
brand called Owls Brew.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
They're female founders. So I found these two women.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
You know, like, I've been trying to come up with
an alcoholic drink for many, many years, but the alcohol industry,
like many industries, is so male dominated that anytime I
would get far along in an idea, there would be
some massive hiccup and it just didn't work. And there
if you've read my book, well you haven't read my
book yet because my book is not out comes out
February twenty fifth, so pre order it. I'll have what

(00:45):
she's having. It comes out on my fiftieth birthday. Please
celebrate with me. Your gift to me is you pre
ordering my book. We want to encourage all of our
book club readers to have Boozy book clubs. So we
partnered with Owls Brew and we came up with three
vodka lemonades. There's Classic, which is yellow, then there's Pink,

(01:06):
and then there is Mint lemonade. So we have three
really smooth, non carbonated flavors. There are only one hundred
dollars a can, I'm sorry, one hundred calories a can,
and they're delicious.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
I vouched for them.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
I went in for the tastings and we found something
and it took almost no time. It is so much
nicer working with women. It literally took one tasting day.
I mean I had spent hours and days with these
other previous companies.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Many years ago. I had given up on this idea.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
But when you do read my book, you will see
why there is a vodka lemonade tie in because I had.
I was an entrepreneur at a very young age, and
I open up a lemonade stand, and then when I
realized how much money I'd be making, I decided that
I needed a larger margin of profit and opened up
a hard lemonade stand.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Perfect. So now we are.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
It is called Chelsea Handler's Vodka Lemonade from Owlsbrew.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
They are hitting the shelves this month.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
You can also order it online at the Owlsbrew dot com,
or you can go.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
To your local stores.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
They're at in lots of stores all across the country.
So yes, Owlsbrew, Chelsea Handler's vod Colemonade.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Please for your book clubs.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I mean obviously for your personal life and having a
great time too, but for your book clubs when you're
getting together to read my book. I really want you
guys to enjoy Owlsbrew with the book that's fasting, and
we're gonna have it all my book signings. We're gonna
have Owlsbrew.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Awesome.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
You're never this excited about things.

Speaker 5 (02:38):
I know.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I am excited because it's so delicious. My publicist, who
barely drinks it all, she's like, I love this. She
sends me a picture every night. She's like, I have
one every night before I go to bed. I'm like, okay, well,
you're a different kind of drinker than I am.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Fantastic.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Also, I'll be on Oh yeah, this is Critics Choice Award.
The Critics Choice Awards are tomorrow night. I don't know
what time for anything in the afternoon, seven eastern maybe, yes,
something like that, seven pm Eastern on the E Network.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, we have a fun guest this week.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
You have a very fun guest today speaking of vodka
and Elton star Heloton star Cody Rigsby. He is our Well,
he's a Peloton guru, dancer, author and host of the
Tactful Pettiness podcast. Please welcome a person I've worked out
with several times.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Cody Rigsby.

Speaker 6 (03:27):
Hi, Cody Rigsby, Chelsea b very honest, like, do you
have any idea who I am?

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah? I do?

Speaker 3 (03:33):
You do?

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yeah? I do Peloton all the time.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Oh you do.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
I appreciate the question, though You're not wrong to ask that,
and I would.

Speaker 6 (03:39):
Have been offended. I adore you. I used to watch
your show in college with my boyfriend, and I've read
your book and I just and I love that you're
an advocate for not having kids, although I have turned
the corner on that. I think I might want them,
but I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Are you pregnant?

Speaker 3 (03:53):
I will be in a few days.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh wow, that's very premonitionary, premonitionary.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yeah, that really flew right out of my mouth. I
was unexpected.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
That is premonitionary means like my friend has premonitionary dreams.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
She dreams about some things and then they happen.

Speaker 5 (04:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
No, I just know that I'm going to fuck someone
this weekend.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
So, but you can't get pregnant in the tush sheet, Cody.
I talk about this.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
You know, the modern medicine. You never know.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
I eventually, I feel like we're around the corner from
men being able to carry a baby. I know, we've
had a couple of male people carry babies that had
transitioned and kept transition from female to men, and then
they were able to carry a baby.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Because they still had their what do you need to
carry baby? A uterus?

Speaker 3 (04:39):
Something like that.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
But I feel like men are going to have become
obsolete if they don't come up with something, you know,
like straight straight men. Obviously gay men are fine, you know,
in my view, but straight men are going to have
to bring more to the table because people are getting
pregnant with or without them. You know, there are animals
that parthenogenesis. We've talked about this, where you can get pregnant.

(05:01):
It happened to an anaconda. She got pregnant without a male.
It happened to a condor, a bird. Yeah what, uh huh,
It's happened to like a lot of not a lot,
but it's definitely happened, and it happened twice in zoos,
so they had no exposure to the male species and
they were able to just fertilize their own eggs.

Speaker 4 (05:19):
Jurassic perk here we come.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, haven't I talked to you about this? Okay?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
So my friend Emily told me about this a long
time ago because I was doing it in my stand
up and then nobody really seemed to understand what the
fuck I was talking about. So then I just started
researching it more.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
But yes, you can.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
Like, we aren't a thousand years evolutionarily behind animals, So
if animals are procreating without the help of sperm, there
is a chance in the next one thousand years that
the human species might be there, especially if the straight
white men keep.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Acting like this. I love that, do you know what
I mean?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
So anyway, back to your pregnancy congratulations in a few days,
I guess, how does it feel, Cody to become a
well known person as an exercise instructor? First and foremost, like,
you couldn't have planned that, right?

Speaker 6 (06:07):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (06:07):
No, not, I did not plan that at all.

Speaker 6 (06:10):
You know, I've been working at Peloton for ten years now,
and I just thought it was gonna be a side
gig because I was tired of being a cater waiter
and working late nights at a fucking nightclub. And it's
absolutely changed my life and I'm so glad that I
get to like help people be their best self while
being a little silly gaybley and a bike.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah yeah, I mean it's a real I mean, you
really do have a different spin on the class no pun.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Intended, pun intended.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
You do, like have great energy, great vibes. You make
the classes fun. I know people talk about you and
how much they love taking your class.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
So good for you. That's fucking awesomesbabe.

Speaker 6 (06:45):
Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, you know, when I get into
maybe my politician era, maybe when I run for Senate,
Like it will definitely be on my campaign.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Speech in Texas. You should run in Texas first, I
think I.

Speaker 6 (06:56):
Should, you know, that should be my goal. I'll just
be I think they called that a carpetbag. Is that
what they called her back in the.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Day, carpet bagger? But if that's if you go from
the north to the south, Yeah, maybe, so.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Let's look up carpet bagger. You guys, we need to
get to the bottom of this.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Oh okay, it is a person from the Northern States
who went to the South after the Civil War to
profit from the reconstruction, so.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Than what we saw.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
But it's a double whammy because they went to go
profit from reconstruction. So they were like, oh, oh, I see,
I see.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
So it's not that bad. It's bad on one level. Okay,
got it.

Speaker 6 (07:35):
So when I go on my my my senate speech,
I'm definitely going to be like what only in America
could Like could a cycling instructor make it into the
pop cultures guys to be successful at.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Them and then become a senator in Texas? I mean,
I feel the trajectory for you, passionately.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
All of a sudden.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah, you know, someone's got to take out to a
cruise one of these day.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
God God willing, When the hell is that gonna happen?

Speaker 3 (08:03):
I don't unfortunately, not anytime soon.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Question for you, Cody, you grew up where you grew
up in the south right north North Carolina.

Speaker 6 (08:09):
Yeah, so I was born in Los Angeles. I moved
to North Carolina and when I was eight by yourself.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
You moved by yourself at eight.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Just me, I got in a car and drove through.

Speaker 6 (08:16):
Now, me and my mom and like our three cats
and two dogs in a beat up Chrysler just packed
it across the country and headed to North Carolina.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
And how was that transition?

Speaker 3 (08:25):
I definitely cried when we arrived there.

Speaker 6 (08:26):
There was no sidewalks where I could roller blade, and
then you know, the tons of homophobia and racism that's
in the South didn't settle well with my soul. So
it was for an interesting upbringing.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, I bet that wasn't a nice transition. It's not
fun to go to the South once you've been exposed
to the North.

Speaker 6 (08:45):
Well, in all honesty, though, because I was in Los Angeles,
I like, looking back in retrospect, I am grateful that
I grew up in North Carolina. I think it would
have been It's a simpler sort of life besides the
homophobia and the racism. I think if I'd landed in
stayed in LA maybe things wouldn't have been great.

Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yeah, I feel like.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
The homophobia and racism is just different in different areas.
Like I feel like it is very pervasive, but it's
not allowed to show. It's like a face, you know,
in certain parts of the country, even though it still exists,
just like misogyny and all of.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
The stuff kind of exists everywhere.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
But I once heard someone say, like, oh, everyone thinks
the South is so racist, but Southern people are able
to like cohabitate and live next to people that are
different from them without having it be a big deal,
whereas in the northern cities we do self segregate. Like
if you come to La you see that it's so segregated. Right,
There's like Korea Town, there's Chinatown. Everybody kind of lives
in there. Part of the thing, which isn't exactly what

(09:37):
we're aiming for either.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Anyway.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Cody, back to you, I hear that you have you
have a long term relationship, right.

Speaker 6 (09:45):
Uh no, well I did, but that ended about four
months ago.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Oh I'm glad I could bring that up.

Speaker 6 (09:52):
Then, you know what, I'm in such a good place
with it. It was a six year relationship. We broke
up once before for like six months, and I think
that really affected the way that the second breakup happened.
And I had a really hard first month with it,
and then I accepted it and I've been living my life.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Well, wait, can I ask you about that though, Like,
tell me, how do you think the first six month
breakup impacted the second breakup?

Speaker 3 (10:15):
That's a great question.

Speaker 6 (10:17):
I think in the first breakup, I was taking a
lot of responsibility for like my wrongdoing, and so I
just felt like I needed another chance to give it
a go and I could fix it and do all
these things. And I think upon having another year and
a half together where I was able to like go
to couple's therapy and do all the things and it
still wasn't working, I think I landed in this space

(10:39):
of just us not being able to meet our needs.
And as much as that hurts, and as much as
like I didn't make the decision, it was the best decision.
I also really dove into the book Attached, which goes
into attachment styles within relationship.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yes, I've read that book. That's a good book.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
It's a great book. And like I'm anxiously attached.

Speaker 6 (10:58):
He's avoided and that's just like water and oil, and
like it's possible, but it's just going to bring up
a lot of confrontation.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah, I wonder if it's ever possible to change your
attachment style.

Speaker 6 (11:08):
It is so half of the population is secure and
then one fourth. One fourth is avoidant, one fourth is anxious,
and the goal is to put into practice self awareness
and things in your life that you then become securely attached.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Okay, because that's interesting because I remember being in a
relationship where I was very anxious, not avoidant, anxious, and
now I and I'm definitely not anxious anymore, Like with
any relationship, I'm just secure because probably because I've done
the therapy and God to understand myself in a much
better way.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Which feels a lot better.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
There's nothing worse than feeling the preoccupation of anxiety about
a relationship, checking your phone, wondering if they're going to
show up when they say they're going to show up,
and having all those kind of negative thought cycles around
a relationship.

Speaker 6 (11:57):
And yeah, you are secure because you know yourself, you
know your boundaries, you know your worth, and when those
things aren't being met, you know how to be like, hey,
this isn't for.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Me, absolutely, And there's really not a lot of like
gray area anymore.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
For me.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
It's like I don't care if something works out or
it doesn't. I don't I'm not invested that much into anything.
Even if I were to fall in love with someone.
I can't imagine getting so preoccupied at this stage in
my life with like a lover. So that feels a
lot healthier too, and very mature, and I've never felt
mature until I was in my forties.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
I aspire, I aspired to be you in that situation.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
So you have a new podcast coming out?

Speaker 3 (12:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (12:34):
No, Me and my friend Andrew Chappelle have launched Tackle Pettiness.
We actually just shot We just recorded an episode today.
It's been out since June. So if anybody wants to
listen to Tackle Pettiness, get it.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Where your podcasts are gotten?

Speaker 1 (12:47):
What platform are you guys.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
On on Apple and Spotify?

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Okay, great, So what do you guys give advice on
the podcast?

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (12:55):
Yeah, we kind of go through like you know, cultural moments,
anything that's topical, and then and then we try to focus
on like a relationship topic like today was like fighting.
We also did travel last week, which was a lot
of a lot of fun. And we take like listeners
questions dish out advice like only two opinionated homosexuals can
that's nice.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
That's nice. And your partner on the podcast, what's his name?

Speaker 6 (13:17):
Andrew Chappelle, who was an actor, Broadway actor, TV actor. Okay,
one of the funniest people.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
I know, one of the funniest people. You know.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
Yeah, that's nice. Can go round around with can go
round to a round with me?

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Huh? How did you guys hook up?

Speaker 3 (13:30):
You know, just being gay in New York City.

Speaker 6 (13:32):
We've known each other for probably a decade at this point,
like a friend of a friend and going out on
Fire Island, and you know, our friendship is kind of
interesting because he was one of those people that I
didn't like at first, you know, like where you kind
of give a little side eye and you're like, I
don't like this bitch. And those usually are the foundations
for great friendships because once you get past that initial
that little initial bitchiness, and then you see that you

(13:54):
have so much in common, it's like, oh, I don't
know why I thought you were so horrible, because you're awesome.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
I yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Ye.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I always have stronger relationships where it's a kind of
slow burn. I think the idea of making a great
first impression, I don't buy that, Like, I don't think
that matters as much, you know, Like I don't think
every first of all people aren't who they are when
you first meet them. Usually exactly, everyone's kind of, you know,
being on their best behavior or trying to show off

(14:20):
or trying to be I have a problem where people
try to be funny around me all the time, and.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
I find that extremely annoying, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Like when I'm in at airport or someone's on a
plane next to me, they'll lean over and be like
and I'm like, no, no, it's not like that. I'm like,
I don't need you to entertain me.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Or they'll say they'll have conversations that they know I'm
in earshot of saying things they know that I'll like
that I'm in accordance with or agreement with.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
I also find that exhausting.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
I wish people would just be normal, you know what
I mean, Like, you don't have to make me laugh,
just talk to me.

Speaker 6 (14:52):
But whenever you're hanging out with and I'll tell you
the reason I'm thinking this, Like, whenever you hang out
with like comedians or people that are in your field,
do you feel like they're spitballing and trying to make
you laugh or trying to like get in with it.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 (15:06):
I mean, my friends brought it up the other day.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
She goes, it's really annoying being around you in a
bunch of other comics because everybody's just trying to be
so funny, And I'm like, oh, yeah, I would imagine
that would be annoying without being a comedian.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
But I also don't pick up on that, you know
what I mean, because that's natural. They're comedians.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
But when regular people try to be funny sometimes it's
very painful, you know.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
It's like, oh.

Speaker 6 (15:25):
God, I only say that because I did as a dancer.
I did SNL twice and I remember being on the
set and I was just like, oh my god. These guys,
like especially the guys, they were just like constantly trying
to outdo each other with the funniness. And I was
like enough, Like I'm just a little out dancer extra,
but like enough.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
That's fun that you were on that you Oh yeah,
you weren't Dancing with the Stars.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, Dancing with the Stars as well.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
How was that experience.

Speaker 6 (15:50):
I'm so grateful that I did it, but it was
honestly one of the most challenging and like things I've
ever done, and one of the things that beat me
down so much physically and mentally and emotionally. But I'm
so glad that I did it, and it was so
good for my career, and they couldn't pay me enough money.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
To do it again.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
But why did it beat you down emotionally so much?

Speaker 5 (16:08):
You know?

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Okay, So a lot of my famer notoriety came through
the pandemic, and I was kind of encapsulated in this
like digital space and not really being on my own
in that. And so then to take like go from
Internet famous to kind of TV famous and now have
a lot of opinions about you put out there, a

(16:29):
lot of you know, negative stuff, positive stuff, it was
really hard to absorb.

Speaker 6 (16:34):
I'm pretty much someone who like is pretty strong and
confident about themselves. But after doing the show for two months,
you have no days off, You're exhausted, you're tired, and
just like seeing a negative comment like would take me down. Also,
I think with any reality TV show, there's there's things
in play that are supposed to kind of fuck with

(16:55):
you sometimes. Yeah, total, And I wasn't ready for all that.
Like I I come in my partner Showbroke, who's done
that show for like thirty seasons. Why Yeah, the emotional
ups and downs of that for thirty years.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
In no way seriously, because then you're also she's having
to all of those regular people are having to deal
with their guests that they have on for the season
and watching them go through their emotional turmoil, right, so
they become like counselors exactly with Peloton. Isn't there like
a chat room or chat board? Do they give you
feedback on Peloton?

Speaker 3 (17:27):
Do you mean like members at home?

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Or are you like my boss like members at home?
Is that? Is that a feature?

Speaker 3 (17:33):
It's not a feature. There's a leaderboard so you can
like compete.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Right, but we never got that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Ah.

Speaker 6 (17:39):
You know, like there is a very rambunctious Facebook group
of Peloton members where they will spew and like say
all the things that they need to.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
But I deleted my Facebook like probably three years ago.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
So good fucking unless you're a conspiracy theorist.

Speaker 6 (17:53):
Yeah, like I think I deleted it close to like
t twenty my election.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
I was like, I can't do with this anymore. It's
just people personally headline it's about fucking politics. I can't.
I got them out. I'm out.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
I know, I hear you and do you ever do
you ever co mingle with the or sorry not co mingle,
do you ever mingle with any of the other Peloton instructors.

Speaker 6 (18:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I actually had like a brunch on
Sunday with two of my colleagues.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well that's fun.

Speaker 6 (18:16):
Yeah, no, I mean it's a very unique job and
only we know what it feels like to be on
the platform and to be teaching fitness in this capacity.
And yeah, I have a lot of fun with them
and a lot of respect for them.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
And it's also not something it's so funny because it's
it's such a great career that you would have never
been able to imagine as a child, because this job
didn't exist as a child.

Speaker 6 (18:38):
Exactly, yeah, exactly. I never thought that this is how
my life was going to play out. I've always had
like this idea of being I guess famous or being
a personality.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
I think I tried to channel that through musical theater
and then dance.

Speaker 6 (18:52):
And then it's so crazy that life put me in
the right place at the right time for Peloton and
it was like literally the perfect job for me.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Perfect.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Oh I love that. What a nice success story.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah, no, I look back on it.

Speaker 6 (19:04):
I'm just like super grateful, especially because I grew up
so fucking poor and to have the world is my
oyster is fantastic.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Did you run a marathon recently or do an iron man?

Speaker 3 (19:14):
That's a fuckingly not. I will not catch me doing that.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Okay, because my friend and from Whistler ran and I
couldn't remember if it was you or one of the
other guys. And she was like, I saw so and
so from Peloton and I was like, that must be so.
She's like, I ran right up to him. I couldn't
believe it was him in person.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
I'm like, that sounds so annoying, and just like, stop,
don't approach me. I'm glad it wasn't you, although it
would have been funny if it were.

Speaker 6 (19:38):
The way that you feel about children is the way
I feel about marathons. I don't need to do it.
It's going to do nothing for me.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
I'm glad it's happening to keep it over there.

Speaker 6 (19:45):
So happy it's happening over there, and like I this
was the first year of fifteen years of living in
New York City that I went to the marathon and
cheered people on and it was so cute. I love that.
That was my perfect introduction to it. But you will
not catch me running twenty three point six miles.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
I think I think it's twenty six point two miles. Right,
I have no desire. I'm with you. I am not
trying to prove anything to anyone but really myself, like
I would I would never I would have run a
half marathon. I mean, if it was for a charity,
I would just pay for someone else to.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Do it, you know what I mean, here's the donation.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
I can't be bothered with that kind of chicanery. It's
too much.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Also, you want to keep your knees, you know.

Speaker 6 (20:26):
Yeah, And like I've tackled enough emotional trauma from my
past to feel like I've accomplished something, you know.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
I hear you, I hear you.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
to be right back with Cody Rigsby. And we're back
with Cody Rigsby. We're gonna give advice. Cody, you're good
at this, right, I feel like you could be good
and motivational.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Yeah, I mean I love to give hard truths.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, the hard way all about here.

Speaker 6 (20:55):
Unfortunately a lot of people don't have good friends that
are telling them honesty.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
I know that's what we're here for.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
The people don't Yeah, I mean I know from my
own set of friends that most people don't tell you
the truth.

Speaker 6 (21:05):
Oh No, my friends will sit me the fuck down
and be like, bitch, what are you doing? And I
love that and I will do the same.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
I always. I'm an interloper. I always will intervene always.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, our first question comes from Sherry. This is a
little confusing, but.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Stick with this. Is it Cherry Shepherd's Cherry Shepherd?

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Okay, because she just posted a clip of me talking
about me not washing my legs with Kevin Hart on
your show and then invited me for a collab.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
I'm like, no, I don't think so, bitch.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
You don't wash your legs.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
I don't wash my legs in the shower for you.
I mean, what's going Why are my legs dirty? They're not.
They're covered up all day.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
And when I wash my hair, the shampoo and the
conditioner falls down my whole body and washes up. I
get in my shower, I wash my Pikachu, I washed
my asshole, I wash under my arms, and then I
washed my butt like the cup the cheeks, so because
I don't want to get any you know, ezema.

Speaker 6 (21:54):
I see what I see what you're saying there, And
I can't say that, like one hundred percent I'm washing
of the times I'm washing my legs.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
But I'd say, like fifty if.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
My legs are dirty, if there's dirt on them, I
will wash them. But they're not. There's not ever dirt.
My legs are never exposed. They're covered all day long.
Like what am I washing them for?

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Cody?

Speaker 4 (22:13):
Are you running around New York City with shorts on?
That is the real question. Then you have to wash
your legs.

Speaker 6 (22:18):
So yes, I haven't been wearing a lot of pants,
so yeah, I wear shorts as much as I possible.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Then you should be washing your legs, yeah yeah, even
though you're not, you should be.

Speaker 6 (22:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. But I do somewhat agree that
the soap will trickle down and get onto the legs.
It's not a full screen.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
I go.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
If there's a crevice that I need to get into,
then I will go there with the soap in the water,
But the legs are out, My legs are out. I
don't have to get in behind my kneecap, like there's
nothing fat.

Speaker 6 (22:46):
But if you don't, if you don't wash your feet,
nobody can put their foot in your feet in their mouth.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
That's fight.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
And then by the way, the water, the soap and
all everything lands on my feet too, right before it
goes down the drain.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
So those are I think that feel like are clean.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
They're good, They're really clean.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (23:00):
Tell sign if someone likes you and while you're fucking
they if they put your feet in their mouth, then
you're they're very into.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
You, definitely, or they have a foot fetish. But I
don't really need anyone to be sucking my foot, you
know what I mean. There's so many others.

Speaker 6 (23:13):
Like you know, from time to time, I'm like, hey, okay,
this works, I'm here for it.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
Go on.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
I kind of have that attitude too, like if you
want to do it, but if you do it, like
if it.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Is a fetishy thing, I'm not into it.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Like if it happens every time, then no, it has
to be like sporadic.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
One time, we haven't even gotten a question.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
That's okay.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
Continue.

Speaker 6 (23:33):
There was one time I was at this party in
Fire Island and this guy asked me he definitely had
a foot finish.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
He was like, can I just massage your feet? And
I was like, you know what, go for it. And
it obviously an incredible massage, of course.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
And why would anyone say no to a foot massage.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
I mean, I will take a foot massage from someone
from Isis.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
I don't care who's giving me a foot massage. I
love getting my feet rubbed exactly. Okay, question, We're ready, So.

Speaker 4 (23:58):
Back to Sherry. She says, Dear Chelsea, I have an
ethical dilemma that I'm hoping you can give me advice
on what I should do. Within my group of friends,
there are two couples with a messy situation. Let's call
them Couple A and Couple B. I'm close friends with
all of them, especially the wife from each couple. Both
couples have young kids. The husband from Couple A recently

(24:21):
confided in US that his wife has been having an
on again, off again affair with husband B for over
ten years.

Speaker 5 (24:28):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
Husband A confronted husband B about their affair and he
admitted it too great. Husband A is devastated and heartbroken.
He hasn't made any decisions yet about what he's going
to do. He feels that coming out with this and
telling Wife B will ultimately destroy two families. As far
as I know, my husband and I are the only
other people who know about the affair, and I feel

(24:49):
terrible that I know this information, But I haven't told
my friend wife B about what her husband has been
up to.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
What do I do?

Speaker 4 (24:56):
Do I tell Wife BE or leave it up to
Husband A to decide? This is such a difficult position
to be in, and I wish I didn't know this information.
If I keep it to myself, how can I continue
my friendship with Wife B? To make matters worse? This
isn't the first time I've heard that husband B has
been unfaithful, but in the past I kept it to
myself because I didn't know for sure, and I figured
that saying something to wife BE would more than likely

(25:19):
ruin our friendship because she would ultimately believe her husband
because he talks for a living and can be very
convincing and influential. What do I do, Cherry?

Speaker 2 (25:28):
My disposition on this constantly changes, depending on the set
of circumstances and depending on the feedback we've gotten from
callers who've called in with similar problems, Cody, why don't
you go first and give your advice on this situation?

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Wow, first of all, the question felt like a fucking
sat question.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Just be happy she fucking divvied them up to couple
A and B.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
The other day, I'm dealing with thirty six cousins, a
nephew and an ann and a priest.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
I was like, what, I can't follow the story?

Speaker 6 (25:56):
Uh, yeah, they should honestly just be in a polycule
because they're halfway there to all having sex with each other.
They honestly need to reframe their idea of like, I
don't think monogamy is for everybody, and so maybe they
want to explore some form of ethical non monogamy. But
that's really on them.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
To decide what they're doing with the mess.

Speaker 6 (26:18):
If I were the friend, I would kind of stay
out of it because you already know the tisis like
husband Bee is cheating on wife Be and she's not
gonna believe you if you say it, so it's going
to ruin your friendship. Anyways, I would stay the fuck
out of it until it all comes out, because everything

(26:38):
dark comes to the light one way or the other.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
I would agree, I'm going to say that sometimes I
say tell on them, you know, like I want people to.
But for this situation, I would say, it sounds like
it's about to come out anyway, like everywhere, all the
chips are falling and like not into place, out of place,
like everyone's going to kind of get the situation and
it's not your responsibility. It sounds messy. And if it's

(27:04):
been going on for ten years, that's a whole other
level of unethical non monogamy. I like what you said
ethical non monogamy, because that's important. You can have that
if you're ethical about it and honest.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
But that's not what's going on here.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Especially if that guy's talk or like you don't want
to ruin your relationship with your friend, you know. I
think it's it's best to just let let the chips
fall where they may, and then you can get in
there after and be like, listen, I was in a
really uncomfortable situation and I didn't know if you knew,
and you know, all of that stuff. I didn't want
to get involved in it because it was very confusing.

(27:41):
But yeah, I say stay out of it.

Speaker 6 (27:44):
Yeah, yeah, I think I think a post mortem when
when everything hits the fan. She can then come to
the friend and be like, hey, girl, like I did
know this, but this is why it was complicated.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
I love you, I'm here for you. Let me help
you through this.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
Are you a monogamist, Cody?

Speaker 3 (27:59):
I am not.

Speaker 6 (28:00):
I was gonna say, as someone who has cheated on boyfriends,
I feel like the way to go is non monogamy.
But I am a firm believer that monogamy does need
to be at least for me, needs to be the
foundation at first in the relationship. But as the years
go on, Like I just I don't think I could
only sleep with one person for the rest of my life.
I know, I know that I can't, but I'm not.

(28:21):
I don't want to be polyamorous. I couldn't have a
relationship with those bob people.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Just fucking yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
I don't know who put this monogamy into our heads
to begin with. It's too it's just it's just very antiquated.
It's starting to feel even though I'm a monogamous like
when I'm with someone, i'm with them, I can totally
see why it doesn't make any sense for long periods
of time, you know, maybe five year, ten year intervals,
even ten years sounds like too.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Long, but some people really do love monogamy.

Speaker 6 (28:48):
So and for the people that love it, go for
a baby. I just know in my soul it's not
for me.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah, It's like I know in my soul that I
wasn't meant to be someone's wife or mother exactly.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Like, no regrets.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
In fact, every time I think about it, the fact
that I don't have a child, or the fact that
I don't have a partner, I'm just so grateful, Like
I'm like, oh, this is so much nicer.

Speaker 6 (29:14):
So also, like being married or like in a long
term committed relationship is not your not your vibe either.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
I don't want to be married.

Speaker 6 (29:22):
No, no legal status. But you can be with someone
maybe for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Maybe maybe, but let's be reasonable, doubt.

Speaker 6 (29:30):
You know, I love people who know what they want
and they're that's the perfect way to be.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, I like, yeah, I like to be stimulated, So
to be stimulated usually requires a newness.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, at some point.

Speaker 4 (29:44):
Well, our next question we'll start with Kelly. Her subject
line is how to lose weight without quote unquote compliments.
Dear Chelsea. Bottom line up front, I'm about to go
on weightless medication. But I don't want people close to
me to comment on my body changes. How do I
let people know this without sounding cunty?

Speaker 1 (30:03):
For context?

Speaker 4 (30:04):
For the past two years, my doctors and I have
been trying to figure out why my body won't respond
to eating responsibly and consistently attending a spine gym for
about twelve of those months. This summer, she and my
undocrinologist diagnosed me with PCOS and one of the symptoms
is weight gain. We decided to try met Foreman and
tweak my eating habits and exercise routine and regroup in December.

(30:24):
While it's coming, decision time and nothing has changed, so
it's time to pivot to an injectable. From ages thirteen
to twenty seven ish, I struggled with bolimia, trendy diets,
obsessive workouts that made me a slave to the gym
for hours a day while tracking every gram of macros
across every piece of food, among other disordered eating behaviors.
After years of therapy, I'm now at my heaviest weight

(30:45):
but healthiest mental state. I'm a firm believer in body neutrality, However,
I feel my body just isn't meant to carry this
much weight in this form, and I'm uncomfortable and know
my body chemistry is just not operating correctly throughout my
weight fluctuations. The one thing that has been consistent is
that my family praises me when I'm in a smaller body.
I understand this is a cultural thing and they have
the best intentions. I also know I have done the

(31:07):
work to deal with how I perceive myself, but I
worry that those around me will keep up with their
old ways. Is there a way to get ahead of
this or handle the quote unquote compliments when I know
they mean well but also feel they could be damaging
to me. Thank you for all the positive energy. Kelly.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Hi, Kelly, Hey, Hey, Kelly.

Speaker 7 (31:25):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
I don't know the answer to this.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
I don't know how you get people to not comment
on your weight, because it's so like if you have
a history with your family, that's one thing you can
have a conversation with them and explain to them what's
happening and how you don't think it's healthy for your
you know, your your mental health to hear their feedback
about your physicality all the time.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
This is Cody Rigsby, by the way, Yeah, Okay, great, it.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Feels like, okay, are you gonna have that? Is it
going to have a deleterious impact on you if regular
people are commenting on your way, because it's a very
hard thing for people not to do.

Speaker 7 (32:00):
No, I know that it's my family and they're not
great at taking those types of conversations. Case in point,
like freshman year of college, I lost like forty pounds
and my aunt, who's been like a pseudo grandmother to
me my entire life, like called me over and was
just like, helly, you look wonderful.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 7 (32:20):
And this, that and the other thing, and like that's
where most of my compliments come from my family.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
May I take a stab at this?

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (32:28):
Please?

Speaker 6 (32:29):
Well, first of all, I commend you on like you
being in the right place for your own journey, because
you seem really grounded in, like this is for my health,
this is for my mental health, This is for me
to feel confident, this is for me to feel like
my best And I think that is the best mentality
to have, especially around weight loss or working out. Like

(32:50):
our bodies are only going to look a certain way
for a certain time. They're gonna fluctuate. They're gonna change
and we don't have control over that. So I think
that's a great mental space. That being said, also, we
can't control other people's actions. We're not gonna be able
to control the compliments that they give us. But I
think that you can start to reframe those physical comments

(33:11):
into a space of if someone's like, hey, you look great, Kelly,
since you've lost eight you're like, thank you. I think
just saying thank you to any compliment is fine. You
could also take lead on the conversation of being like,
thank you, but honestly, it's I feel amazing and I've
never felt better and I'm really happy, and that's the

(33:32):
thing that you want.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
To get across to them.

Speaker 6 (33:34):
It's just the way you feel and just taking charge
of the charge of the narrative and knowing you can't
control anybody whatever the heck they're gonna say.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
I do think there's a little bit of room for
some teaching here. I think if there are certain family
members you're worried about kind of like really hitting the
like oh you look so skinny, stuff hard, I think
it's okay to like just address that with them, like
I'm making some changes with my doctors for my health
and like I just would so appreciate it, like not
commenting on my body, or if someone does bring it up,

(34:03):
saying like thank you so much. I know you mean well,
but you know I'm the same person in a larger
or a smaller body, So thanks for letting me know.
But I'm feeling really happy. And you know, like Cody said,
going into like I'm feeling happy about this x y
Z in my life. It doesn't necessarily have to be
like a body thing. It can be something that's just
like something you're doing that's making you feel better in
your life.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
But I also think it wouldn't be like okay if
your family doesn't respond well to things. If you wrote
a thoughtful email to your family and said, listen, I'm
on this like weight loss journey. The times where I
have lost weight and have heard comments from you guys,
which I know you are, you know, giving me or
compliments about how I look good when I lose weight
or when I've dropped forty pounds. You can give specific

(34:45):
examples about your freshman year in college, the comments I
know you mean well, but those kind of comments and
getting rewarded for having a smaller body. Have it helped,
so moving forward, it would really mean the world to
me if we could just keep the comments to yourself
about me and any sort of weight loss or weight
gain I have. I need to do this for my

(35:06):
own mental health and this is something that's really important
to me, and as people who love me, I can
only imagine that you want to support that.

Speaker 7 (35:13):
That sounds doable. My family's not the type of people
that you can have that kind of conversation in person with.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
So yeah, write it in an email.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Let them all talk about it together and be like, oh,
did you get the email we did? A like, let
them reflect and actually digest what you're saying. It's not unreasonable,
and once they know that it has that impact on you,
they are going to think twice about making those comments.
And you can say, we're in a different time, it's
not really appropriate to be making these comments. I'm feeling
so good about myself. I just want to keep feeling

(35:44):
good about myself and those kind of comments are not
helpful for me.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Okay, No, I like the sounds of that.

Speaker 7 (35:50):
I just I guess I'm just nervous for you know,
sounding like pretentious and part of me touches.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
But you're not being pretentious. You're being detective of yourself.
That's what you're being self empowering. There's nothing pretentious. Forget
about your family and where they're from. This is about
you and where you're from and where you're going. Like,
there's nothing pretentious about that. That's actually being really upfront
and honest, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
It's creating a boundary, communicating that boundary and telling people
to you know, not cross it.

Speaker 4 (36:22):
Yeah, and I think like when people do, because you
will have people who who cross that boundary, even if
you've communicated with them, you know, having that patience and
being like thinks like, this isn't really because I'm doing
all these different things. This is because I'm treating the
pcos that you know caused some of this weight cane
and that sort of thing. You know, I'm working with
my doctors and getting good treatment.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yeah, and also and also do some of the work
that Cody mentioned about taking those comments and kind of
having them turn into a different comment in your head.
You really can't control what other people are going to
say or how they're going to react, so you have
to kind of figure out the way that you're going
to be able to digest them in a different way
instead of having it make you feel like uncomfortable. There's

(37:05):
a way you can kind of empower yourself with those
comments and be like, I'm going to take that and
this is this is what I know that they meant
to say or that they wanted me to feel, So
I am going to choose to feel that way, even
though it's an annoying thing to keep hearing.

Speaker 4 (37:20):
Yeah, I agree, there's probably like a different way to
sort of metabolize those comments that you're getting, you know,
so to speak. But I also think it's really important
to underscore here that you know, we're in twenty twenty five, Like,
it's never okay to comment on someone else's body, you know,
whether their skin is discolored, or they have an injury,
or they've lost or gained weight, or they're wearing a

(37:40):
medical device, Like it's okay to just not say anything.
And in fact, it's preferable to not say anything unless
they bring it up and it's something that they choose
to talk about. You know, unsolicited comments about someone's weight
and especially weight loss can be really painful for people.
I mean people lose and gain weight for all kinds
of reasons. I mean, they may be going through a

(38:02):
period of grief, maybe they've changed medication that's caused weight
gain or weight loss. Maybe they're having a mental health crisis,
or they're dealing with an illness, maybe they have an
eating disorder, and those compliments really can get in their
head and do really lasting damage. So I think it's
really something that we have to pay attention to that,
like our words do matter, and sometimes even when we're

(38:25):
trying to be kind, it can unintentionally be really damaging.
So I think it's great to be able to set
these boundaries with your family. But if you have like
a neighbor who comments, or you know someone else in
your life who comments, one thing you can say is
just like, yeah, I know, bodies change in all kinds
of ways for all different reasons, right, and just like

(38:45):
leave it at that, and like if it's a little awkward,
it's okay if it's a little bit awkward. But with
a comment like that, you're not really giving any credence
to like it's a positive thing or a negative thing,
but you're also not denying that it happened.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
So it's a good way to set a boundary.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
But I'll be afraid of putting up boundaries like that's
what we're lacking. Yeah, especially as women.

Speaker 7 (39:05):
Oh yeah, certainly with my family, we're grossly closed.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
So yeah, okay, well, good put together an email, compose it,
take your time to write it, and I guarantee you you'll.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Be surprised by the results, yeah, or the response. I mean,
all right, thank you, thanks so much, Kelly. Thank you, bye,
Kelly Bye, have a good one.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
I think that's such a good question too, because we
don't necessarily know what people's backstories are, whether they have
a condition that's causing weaking. Maybe they were depressed and
lost fifty pounds.

Speaker 6 (39:34):
You know.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
It's a good teaching moment to have with her family.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Yeah, I had.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
I was in Mayorka this summer and this server, this
restaurant that I go to a lot, there's a server
and from the beginning I went in June, and then
I went back in September. And when I went back
in September, she had lost, like I mean, like fifty pounds.
And she was never heavy to begin with. She was
very muscular and like very healthy. And I didn't say
anything because I knew better than to say anything, and
she said something and she was like, oh my god,

(39:59):
look at I'm wasting away. And I go, oh my gosh,
I know you look amazing like and she goes, no,
I've lost weight because of stress.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
And I was like, oh, oh shit, right, fucked up.
You know you were just learning terrible.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
I did you know she wasn't happy about the weight loss,
but I knew enough not to bring it up. But
when she brought it up, or should have been like,
oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Plus we were speaking Spanish, so thought always go side.

Speaker 6 (40:23):
You never know how someone's gonna interpret it. It's like
when people say I look so skinny, I'm like, bitch,
but what I don't want to look scary.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
I want to look like like a muscular man. So
it's like you gets fucked up in your head.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
Yeah, we've been talking a lot about that lately, about
like not talking about like skinny, but talking about strong strong.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
We liked, yes, yes, fit and strong. Yes.

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Well.

Speaker 4 (40:42):
Our next question comes from Britney and she is seeking
some fitness motivation advice.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
Oh perfect, yeah, she says, you're Chelsea, is it? Britney spears,
I hope, so, yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:52):
I'm writing in for some motivation on how to get
into a better exercise routine and routines in general. I
recently got married, and before the wedding I was able
to motivate myself to eat clean and exercise by wanting
to look amazing in my wedding gown, which I killed it.
Now I'm several months post wedding and I can't get
motivated to do anything unless there's a staunch deadline. My

(41:13):
wedding guest thank you cards, I still haven't finished writing,
and overall I just prefer to laze around then start
any of my home improvement projects.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
My partner's also.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
Trying to get into a gym routine, but oftentimes are
preferred time to work out just not align. Pre wedding,
I was involved with a spin class that I loved, which,
by the way, like both of these ones that mentioned spin,
it was like kind of just a fluke, nice little
thing there, so some serendipity, but the instructor moved away
and the gym has not hired a replacement. Lastly, I

(41:42):
cannot seem, for the life of me to wake up
early for my own enjoyment, such as to meditate or
write in a Gratitude Journal. I wake up with barely
enough time to prepare for my workday and always seem
to rush out the door five minutes late. It just
seems like an overall lack of diligence and structure. Do
you have any tools or vice that might help me
in my journey? Sincerely, very tired person, Brittany, Brittany, Hi, Brittany,

(42:04):
Hi Brittany.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
I love the way you spell it, by the way,
Oh thank you. I'll let my mom know.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Brittany, why are you so tired? I don't know that's
the thing.

Speaker 5 (42:15):
And I have energy throughout the day, but when it
comes to the motivation in the morning to get started
or the motivation after I've been working seven and a
half hours, I don't have it in me to like
I make excuses for myself as to why I don't
want to wake up whenever my first alarm goes off

(42:37):
or I end up you know, after work, I just
don't want to stop. I don't want to stop at
the gym. I want to get home. I want to
cook dinner. I want to chill in my pj's and
watch TV. And I really want some I want to
see these changes in theory, but the action is just

(42:57):
I've had a hard time with that motivation.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
To get there.

Speaker 6 (43:01):
Do you feel like you're getting enough sleep or you
feel like you're not sleeping enough? Also, I feel.

Speaker 5 (43:06):
Like in general, once I get going, I'm awake, So
I don't feel like I'm overall like tired during the day.
It's just when it gets to about ten thirty, I'm done.

Speaker 6 (43:17):
Do you work at an office or do you work
from home? Like, do you have the ability to like
go work out in the middle of the day maybe
since you have more energy throughout the day.

Speaker 5 (43:25):
So my work day is generally so I get to
work at seven thirty. I do go into the office
most days of the week. I do have some flexibility
to work from home, but I generally at work do
not have any I try to limit distractions as much
as possible.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
So I think it's like for me, it's it's about
building habits that you're going to do, regardless of when
it's comfortable or convenient, and just putting those into your
day or week so that they're so consistent that you
show up when you don't want to.

Speaker 6 (43:59):
If you have more energy throughout the day and you
have the possibility of working even if it's just two
days a week from home and you are already getting
dressed in like ath leisure. You can pump from your
meeting and then work out from home like in some
Body with body Weight, and you're not you're not taking

(44:21):
too much time away from you from your work. At
least you're getting in a few workouts a week. I
feel like if you're already setting your goal on this
mountain of like I got to work out every day,
you're already going to set yourself up for failure. So
I think finding some opportunities where you could work out
twenty to thirty minutes, even if it's two to three
times a week. Maybe it's maybe it's the two days

(44:42):
you work from home and one like maybe it's Saturday
or Sunday. And maybe you and your husband it could
work out on the weekend together since you're both off,
and that might be something fun that you can do
and don't let the workout have to be a chore
a task. Maybe you guys can go for a hike
or a walk. Maybe you can just do something it's fun.
And I don't know if you like to dance, like do
dance cardio. Do something that brings you a little bit

(45:04):
of joy even as you make it a task.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
And I would also say, just get in the habit
of like the exercise and lends itself to your life
in multiple ways. It's not just about the exercise. It's
about your mental clarity. It's about getting rid of any cortisol.
You don't want to overdo it, but you do want
to exert yourself to a degree every day. Like I
would say to get up every morning and just walk
for twenty minutes, Go power walking outside your neighborhood for

(45:30):
twenty minutes, no matter what, you know what I mean,
so that your body is moving, your body is getting energized,
and you're like creating more energy for yourself throughout the day.
Like exercise is so related. If I don't exercise, I
have no energy. That's why you have no energy.

Speaker 6 (45:46):
You know.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
If I go for three or four days without working out,
I feel it. Even when I'm hungover or I've just
been on a flight and I've been performing, I always
get up and make myself sweat a little because it
just makes me feel so much better and have so
much more mental claes. So I would try to incorporate,
like as far as working out and doing a workout
with weights and stuff, or you know, you can get
the Peloton app, you know, and do that at your house.

Speaker 5 (46:09):
I don't have.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
I was gonna shamelessly plug that. I know.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
Well, that's why I had to.

Speaker 3 (46:12):
Do cycling instructor your cycling instructions.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
I'm a cycling instructor on Peloton now too. That was
our big announcement for today. I'm to announce that now
I'm not I'm not, I'm not.

Speaker 3 (46:22):
I'm just fuing.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
But if you do get the you can get the
Peloton app and do these like they have five minute
apps classes, they have ten minutes, you could do forty minutes, pilates,
you can do like you just make a commitment and
do it with your husband. If you think that's a
good partnership. Do you think that is or would you
rather exercise alone?

Speaker 3 (46:39):
I think that it's potential.

Speaker 5 (46:41):
Like there have been times intermittently that we've both woken
up early and gone for a walk around our neighborhood together,
and we do enjoy walking, but it's for some reason
the mornings, my alarm clock will go off several times
and I'll just keep doing it until I absolutely have
to get up and going. And typically I think if
I were to walk every morning, i'd have to get

(47:03):
up at five and go. And I feel like that's
a normal time for people to get up and go.
But for some reason, in the mornings, my mind is
just like this isn't. I have a hard time I
guess in the morning's deciding that that's a that's a priority.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
Right, But it's it is a priority because you're calling
into a podcast to talk about it, so you're gonna
make it a priority.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
What do you use?

Speaker 2 (47:25):
What's that? Is that a green like exercise ball that's
behind you? It is so fucking use it. I mean,
first of all, what kind of caffeine do you take
to get up in the morning?

Speaker 1 (47:36):
Do you drink caffeine?

Speaker 5 (47:37):
I drink a cup of coffee about twenty minutes after
I get up. I make sure I drink some water first,
or at least a few SIPs of water before I
go in on the coffee.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
But I do well, that's healthy, that's a healthy habit.
But why do you really have to wake up at
five to exercise? What time do you have to be
at work?

Speaker 5 (47:52):
So I try to get to work by seven thirty.
It usually ends up walking in around seven forty five
with traffic and every thing, but I try to get
I try to leave my house by six forty five.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
And then okay, well that is pretty early. That's probably
why you're fucking tired. I mean, most people go to
work around nine for an office job, and you get
done at five pm or six pm.

Speaker 5 (48:14):
I typically try to leave work by four thirty, try
and skip some of the traffic, and then I'll get
home usually around five thirty five forty.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
I know, for me, I have to work out in
the mornings to really get it done.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
So it really you have to kind of experiment with
your personality because it sounds schedule wise like it might
be more prudent for you to get home from work
and then go for a power walk around five. It's
the perfect time. It's before dinner, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
You get home, go for a walk, reflect on the
day's activities, and then figure out a workout that you
could do like two or three days a week. But
I think it's important a health wise to keep your
body moving every single day, you know what I mean.
And then it becomes kind of addictive.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
In a great way, Like there's you know, you don't
want to be exercising for three hours day and no
one's suggesting that, but you need to pick a time
and commit to whatever time you think it's going to
be more feasible to actually follow through. And maybe that
is when you get home from work, if it's not
during your lunch break, or if it's not at five
in the morning, it's dark at five in the morning,
So like, I can understand why that would be hard

(49:17):
to get up and start exercising. So let's figure out
what time makes the most sense for you. What time
do you think that is.

Speaker 5 (49:23):
Historically, I've definitely leaned towards you know, getting off work,
stopping by the gym, doing whatever it is I do,
whether it be a group workout class or an elliptical staremaster,
whatever it may be. Like I used to be really
good about doing that, and then I think, just over

(49:44):
the last few years, I've kind of lost my way
in a gym, like I don't necessarily know what I
should be, like what I should be focusing on. I
kind of walk in and I'm like, Okay, what do
I want to do today? And then I spend twenty
minutes looking on Pinterest for workout to do at the
gym for this muscle group, and then I end up,
you know, doing that for a while and I feel

(50:05):
really good about it, but I guess I haven't been
successful in making that an weekly like scheduled thing.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Okay, well you're gonna do that. Now.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
You're gonna write it down that you're gonna exercise. You're
gonna do a workout three times a week, and you're
gonna do a nice walk, whether it's at the gym,
whether it's the elliptical, three times a week, you're gonna
do twenty minutes on an elliptical, on a treadmill or
a bike, whatever kind of cardio. And then three times
a week, either they could be on the same day
or whatever, you're gonna do a class. You could do

(50:37):
a pilates class, you could do weight training class. You
write it down. I am going to commit to this,
and every single morning you're writing it down and keeping
a diary of what you're doing so that you're accountable.
And if your husband decides to come along for the
ride or can join you in any of those activities, great,
But I think you should go from work, commit to
three days a week that you're gonna leave work and.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Go straight to the gym. You don't even have to
spend a whole hour. How we're there. You can go there,
jump on the elliptical for twenty minutes minute and leave.
Just get into the habit of forming a habit.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
Yeah, a lot of gyms have either an app or
a program where they'll like give you a list of
like here's what you do Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and
it's like twenty minutes of maybe strength exercises on different
machines or using free weights, and like it's all done
for you, Like you don't have to think about anything.
So ask at your gym and see if they have that.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
I also thank you.

Speaker 4 (51:25):
A workout buddy might be helpful here too, because your
husband might not be the workout buddy you need. You
might need somebody, Like if I don't show up so
and so I was gonna be like sitting there pissed
at me, So like I gotta get my ass over.

Speaker 6 (51:36):
There a workout buddy though, And like, especially with your husband,
like it can be a double edged sword, like it
might motivate you, but it also will be if he's
not in the mood and he's like, oh, let's skip today.
You're going to be susceptible to falling into that habit,
so I try to be on your own journey.

Speaker 5 (51:53):
Absolutely, he and I have definitely gone back and forth
like hey, let's do this, and he'll be like, I
don't feel like it.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Yeah, I think it's gotta be yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
And also the exercise will permeate into your life in
other ways. You're gonna finish your thank you cards, You're
gonna get all that shit together because you're gonna have
I've done that.

Speaker 5 (52:11):
Actually, I day great and just got them mailed out
this week, so I'm really proud of that. But it's
also like kind of kicking myself in the ass because
it took me seven months.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
But that's okay.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
You have a year, so you are several months ahead.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
You're great, It done okay. And also I want you
to write the sentence down to yourself. Write it down.
I am a powerful, strong woman and I am going
to become more powerful and more strong.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yes, okay, and that's what you're gonna do.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
And write down your schedule for the week, what you're
gonna do, and you're gonna be able to take days
off and you're gonna be able to get motivated. But
write down the days Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'm going to
the gym straight from work, even if it's for a
half an hour. You're going to just get into the
habit of forming a habit.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
It's as simple as that.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
And once you do that for three weeks, you're going
to want to keep doing it, and you're going to
want to get stronger, and you're going to see the
result and you're going to feel healthier and you're going
to feel more motivated, and it's all going to work out.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
So this is your pep talk. Okay, thank you so much, Chelsea.
You're welcome.

Speaker 4 (53:13):
All right, Thanks Brittany, bye bye, Thank you all so much. Thanks.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
I like these questions. I'm so lazy, I can't get
out of bed. What do I do? Get out of bed?

Speaker 3 (53:24):
Get out of that?

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Do you know how grateful we are able to be
able bodied and have the ability to move our bodies?

Speaker 3 (53:31):
Like?

Speaker 2 (53:32):
We have to remember that not everybody can do that.
You know, you have full utilization of your body. You
better be fucking using it and it.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
Only gets more limited the older you get.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
Yeah, and laziness gets more laziness.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
You know, if you're lazy and you don't yeah, I mean,
I don't like to call anyone lazy, but some people
just are, you know.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
And then what well, and on that note, we're going
to take a little break and oh, come back to Okay,
we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Okay, we're back with Cody Rigsby TV Magic.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
So you can catch Cody's podcast, Tactful Pettiness.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
It's tact full pettiness anywhere you got your podcast and
you can hear him talk about a bevy of different things.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
Cody was a delight to meet you.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
I'm sure I'll gout in you somewhere or somewhere somehow sometime.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
I hope.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
So all right, and where can people find you on
socials and stuff?

Speaker 6 (54:28):
Cody at Cody Riggsby on Instagram at Cody Underscore. Rigs
me on TikTok because some bitch took my name before
I could get it. That's fine, not a bitch.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Okay, Thanks Cody, Thank you, Cody, have a great day.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com