Must Be a White Lady with Kevin Hart

 

Kevin Hart joins Chelsea to talk about his relationship with his kids, why nobody is invited to his house, and why he doesn’t care about getting bunions.  Then: A wife wants payback for an early-morning shock.  A hot tub drama creates a rift in a marriage. And a (very hot) woman swears she’s not on Only Fans. 

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Catch Kevin in his new comedy tour Acting My Age, and Fight Out, now streaming on Peacock!

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. 

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everybody, it's today. It's Tuesday. Actually it's election day,
so we are recording this episode on election day, and
we do not know the results of the election. So
here we are.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Are you watching the news? You're gonna wait till later.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
I've had a very very busy morning, and I am
choosing to be as optimistic and positive until we have
something to not be optimistic and positive about. I woke
up this morning, I did a workout. I signed about
a thousand of my books sheets for my new book
that's coming out next year, and I signed a bunch

(00:34):
so that they can put there called tip sheets, so
that they put them in the book. And then we
had a huge contractor meeting with all these new contractors
that I had to hire to fix my house for
all the bad contracting does. So that was a big
I wasn't really part of that. I saw it from
the inside out, people circling the house. But there was
a lot of very responsible looking men here this morning,

(00:55):
and that made me feel very excited about the potential
of my house finally being done one day. And so
all of my team was here working with everyone, and
then I did something else. It feels like I've been
up for almost three days. I'm going to my friend
Connie's house to watch the election tonight. I do not
believe that we will have an answer about who won

(01:16):
the election tonight, but hopefully we'll get some a lots
of good news. And if you're listening to this on
Thursday and the election didn't go the way that we wanted,
I'll be back to discuss that next week.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I think that's a great way to put it. My
dad went in for surgery today. He said he doesn't
want to be present for the results. He wants to
be sedated, So he's having a heart surgery today.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
That's good. Yeah, that's the right way. That's good. I
will also be sedated. I haven't chosen what drug is
going to do that yet. I have to go up
to my little drawer and figure out what kind of goodies.
I have so many goodies. I have so many new
goodies to try out. So I don't know what excellent
something that says love all over it. So maybe I'll
pop one of those suckers fantastic. I feel love. Also, people,

(01:58):
we need more of questions. We need people to write
in with their problems or asking for advice, and we're
doing minisodes this season which are like additional ten minute
episodes which we're trying to do with couples and couples counseling.
So if you have those issues with anybody that could
be a friend or a lover, or a coworker or
a family member, but also any of your questions from

(02:21):
the silly to the serious, we are accepting questions at
Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah, so if you've been thinking about writing in for
a long time, this is your sign writ in.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
It's your sign today our guest. First of all, I
was in Vegas this weekend. I saw A Dell on
Friday night, which was amazing, before my show at Caesar's
on Saturday night, which was amazing, Thank you so much.
It was so much fun. I loved how many people
came out. It was so so much fun. I had
it like forty eight hours of great times in Vegas.

(02:53):
And then Kevin Hart I ran into unfortunately at Adele
and he grew uped me. I groped him too, and
then we decided to go gambling. He was with Anico,
his wife. I was with my cousin Molly, and I
would just like to say that the amount of money
that Kevin lost during our gambling session in his private
gambling room that was attached to his hotel room is

(03:14):
too embarrassing to say on this podcast. You're an idiot anyway.
Our guest today stars in Peacock's Fight Out along with
every other movie that you'll ever seen in your life,
and you can catch him on his newest comedy tour,
acting my age, and he is definitely not acting his age.
Please welcome Kevin Hart. This is my friend, long longtime friends,

(03:36):
Kevin Hart. I'm very happy to see your face. I'm
always happy to see you. Actually, I always love to
see your face in the beginning, at first glance in
the beginning, like I see you coming and I think,
oh fun, this will be fun. Well then it's not
a dip, but I just there's I think there's an
anticipatory level of excitement when I get to see you.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Great word.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah, well, you've used a couple words wrong in the
short time that you've been here, so I had to
correct his grammar as I do so hopefully you know
if you say anything wrong here.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
Good news is I'm with the dictionary.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
And you're only an hour late today, which for you
is early late.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
I call you're not late when you give a heads
up to two and a half hours before.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
When you say that's fine that you're late, I don't care, but.

Speaker 4 (04:22):
I want to make it back.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
You said I'm on my way at eleven o'clock and
we were supposed to be here at eleven fifteen.

Speaker 5 (04:28):
Totally five in East Bubblefuck. I'm on the other side.
I'm in Calabasas well.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
That's where the cheaper homes are. I guess, come over
the hill, right. I don't know why you live in Calabasas.

Speaker 5 (04:38):
Because I don't want to backyard the size of my hand. Yeah,
how about that? Maybe that's why, Kevin.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
What do you have to say for yourself?

Speaker 4 (04:46):
What do I have to say for myself?

Speaker 1 (04:48):
In general?

Speaker 4 (04:48):
In general, I have to say I'm proud of me.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
You are, Yeah, I'm proud of you too.

Speaker 5 (04:53):
If I had to say something, I would say that,
I would. I would say, though we're we're in a
different time. I'm getting older, so now.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
You like you're getting older? Absolutely, I feel like I'm
fucking crushing it and I'm forty nine.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Well, yeah, I'm getting older.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Doesn't mean but I mean it looks wise like body wise,
you know, like, well, I've always been curious about your
desire to work so much. I know you want to
Well no, I'll let you speak about why you want
to work as hard as you work.

Speaker 5 (05:20):
I mean, look, half of it's fair, half of its commitment.
It's the idea of completion. So starting something you're not finishing,
and it doesn't sit well with me. So right now,
there's so much that I've started, right, not just in
entertainment or comedy or acting, you know, from a creative space.
Once you start building businesses and once you start developing

(05:42):
like an infrastructure full of minds and people to help
this thing last forever, it gets more difficult as you
go on. It's not easy building a business with businesses
in it. So completion, like, I feel like I have
to complete the task at hand.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
And what that.

Speaker 5 (05:59):
Looks like, it's still it's still to be determined, right
because it's constantly growing, it's expanding. So what once was
just the idea of a production company has turned into
an independent studio that's turned into a multi layered entity
with a VC attached with fun and development and opportunities

(06:23):
to merge and partner with like it's grows and grows
and grows, and you look up and you got a
staff of so many it's like, well, fuck, I can't
stop if I wanted to, because now I've invested all
this time and people have invested time into the thing
that I believe in, so now I owe them.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
The return of energy. And it just keeps going.

Speaker 5 (06:40):
But I think I do believe by time I'm fifty
to fifty three that a lot of these things should
have hard punctuations on them. And then I can kind
of sit back and go, wow, man, it's dope.

Speaker 4 (06:54):
Did that happen?

Speaker 1 (06:54):
And how old are you now?

Speaker 4 (06:55):
Forty five? Now?

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Okay, forty five? So tell me about how you hand
difficult situations in business, like when something doesn't go your way?
How do you how have you learned and grown to
deal with that kind of stuff?

Speaker 5 (07:08):
That's the easiest thing to understand in business. The bulk
of things don't go your way at first. All ideas
are bad. Idea is to most. You got to prove
your case. And what you'll find for me is that
a resume without receipts is just it's just a piece
of paper, It's just words. Proof of concept is important.
So without a proof of concept, I'm always selling you

(07:28):
on an idea. What I've learned is that an idea
is something that comes a dimind dozen. Everybody has one.
But if my idea comes with a return, that's a
different thing. So how do I put myself in the
best position to make my partners understanding there's a mutual
alignment where if I win, you win, If you win,
I win.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
And that's also a track record. Right with all of
this stuff you've done, people can trust your company, your brand,
your you know whatever you're calling yourself these days. Okay,
what are you calling yourself.

Speaker 5 (07:56):
These you just said? I think you just you just
went through it. You're right, right, brand, you know, the
business man.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
And then I'm very curious because I know how close
you are with your wife and your family. And this
may sound like a boring question, but I am very
curious as to how you managed to balance everything and
spend enough time with your family and your wife and
your kids.

Speaker 5 (08:16):
It's a system. It's like a it's a routine system.
So if you've been doing it long enough, you'll find
that any routine is very easy to stay true to.
There's no different from waking up early in the morning
going to the gym than going to work. After the gym,
they're making it home for dinner, eat dinner with the kids, kids,
go to sleep, then you watch a movie, then you
go to sleep, you wake up masturbate.

Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, well yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, and I have time.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
You probably are doing it.

Speaker 4 (08:42):
I don't think I need to.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Okay, that's why it's weird that you're doing I get.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
It, which is which is once again, I just don't
feel like I don't need.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
To, right, you don't need to address it.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
Fine, but I don't need to address I don't need
to do it. My wife, I'm hot, I think.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yeah, well that's a separate conversation. I'm having her on
next week.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
Well, I mean, if.

Speaker 5 (08:58):
You want to talk to her finally, she's going to
do is tell you. I want to jump his bones
all the time, and I would too. I walked by me,
and I want to get a piece of that. No,
There's were times where I've looked at myself in like
a reflection, I'm like, I fuck, I get it.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know if you did.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
You actually don't even have to look in the mirror,
because if you turn onto television. You can just watch
yourself at any sort of credit card commercial or airline
commercial or toe spacers commercial. It really doesn't matter what
you're promoting. Have you ever worn toe spacers?

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (09:28):
No, okay, well I just started wearing them the other day.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
Well, I'm not gonna wear them, and I don't need what.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
If your toes to stay apart?

Speaker 4 (09:35):
No? I don't.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Why not? I didn't know what to get a bion?

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Okay, then you get a bunion?

Speaker 1 (09:40):
No, but you want to do you want to look
at a bunion?

Speaker 5 (09:42):
I don't want to look at a bunion. And if
I had to, I don't care. I'm at an age
where you think I care about my feet.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
I would hope. So what do you mean? Forty five?
You're not dead. You a whole lifetime ahead of you.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
This is what it is.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
This is mid century. You have another hopefully fifty forty
five fifty years and you to go around.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
With by no desire to correct my feet? You know
you know what? I equate that too, like people that
are sixty that get bracest. It's too late.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
I agree with this.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
It's over. It's over. Why don't you wait until now?

Speaker 5 (10:17):
Sixty years old, you're gonna fix it up. They be
done dealt with it through all this time. Leave it alone.
That's how I feel about my feet now. To answer
your question about my kids, my kids in my time,
it's a system. I'm dedicated to a home schedule, and
if I'm filming a movie, it changes.

Speaker 4 (10:33):
But it's the reverse of touring.

Speaker 5 (10:35):
Right. Like touring, you're going on the weekends, you're home
during the week. If I'm filming a movie, I'm going
during the week, but I'm home on the weekends. So
the kids understand that, and they have and they grow
up understanding what my job is. And when dad's home
it's great. And when he's going, we know what you're doing.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
But we talk all the time.

Speaker 5 (10:54):
My younger kids, I think are are going to get
a different, very different version because I'm down a little bit.
So well, yeah, I mean, I need to be home
more and I can, like I have the luxury of
working from the office at home, so I don't have
to be in the office as much or have to
be on the go as much. I think the bigger

(11:16):
things have gotten You're in a position where you can
delegate and have other people kind of execute things where you,
once upon a time had to do it yourself. I
don't have to do as much as that anymore. So
my younger kids definitely get a I think a bigger
dose of me than my olders did at this age.
But my older kids were so close like yah, now is.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
They're getting the dose that they need. I would say
that that is the most important age. Your older kids
are at the age where they need you the most.
They need your influence the most absolutely.

Speaker 4 (11:47):
You know.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
What I like is that they're comfortable enough to talk
to me, good or bad.

Speaker 4 (11:51):
There's no secrets. I mean, the probably are well within reason.
I noticed.

Speaker 5 (11:54):
This is probably things that my kids don't tell me, and
like any kid, I get it right. But there's a
lot that they do come to the table with that
we talk about. And you know, I like the fact
that they are very confident that there is no bad
reaction from their father, Like it's dialogue all the time
and it's never met with a negative energy or an

(12:15):
angry tone.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
And that, to me, that's what I'm most proud of
with them.

Speaker 5 (12:19):
Like that, that's where I can see the benefit of
our relationship or the time that we're spending, Like I
can see it paying off in real time.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
Yeah, because of the people that they were coming.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
Yes, that's my that's my win.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
What do you think about when you think about your
own childhood and you think about what your kids have,
what do you think about that?

Speaker 5 (12:38):
It's crazy, man, because you know, you don't see this happening.
And the way I grew up, how I grew up,
I was a happy kid. I was a happy fucking
kid man, and with less. And the reason why I
was happy is because you just appreciated the things that
you had or that you were able to do. Going

(13:00):
outside was a big deal. Playing with my friends outside
was a big deal. Playing basketball in the schoolyard was
a big deal. Walking to the store to buy candy
was a big deal. Those were the big things. Like
we didn't need the grandioso version of trips and adventures,
like we had the steps. We had the walk from

(13:23):
where we lived to meet up at a friend's house,
to go to the playground, to go back from there
to a friend's house, sit outside, play a game that
we created, go back to the house, step repeat, Like
that's it. If you were lucky, you were in some
extracurricular activities. I swam, played basketball. My mom did the
best that she could.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, when you talk about that, that makes me nostalgic
from my own childhood actually, because there was an electricity
in the air, like even just going out in the
street after school and playing like red Rover, Red Rover
with the neighbors all on the street. It's like, where
does that happen anymore? Where did other neighborhoods in Minnesota
where that that happens? Yeah, not in Los Angeles.

Speaker 5 (14:00):
I think the kids that are fortunate enough to grow
up in the neighborhoods, and by that I mean, like,
you know, where there's a nice connectivity within community. People
live in close proximity, and the kids grow up knowing
that friends across the street are down the street, and

(14:20):
as they get older, that rapport gets better. Now you know,
it's not my kid's fault, but respectfully, we don't we
don't have neighbors right, Like there's.

Speaker 4 (14:28):
No walking to the house down the street.

Speaker 5 (14:32):
Like we're living to hopefully get a high level of
privacy and exclusivity just in home because we don't want
to be bothered or we don't want to be approached
or it's me, it's not them. So because of that
life that we now live, they don't have that. So
it changes. But then the kids get old enough and
they're driving. So my kids are driving at the age sixteen,

(14:55):
and that I can go to my friend's house and
after that we're gonna go meet and do whatever. You
have a little bit more freedom, but the idea of
what you're doing is different from what I was doing. Right,
it's I don't my kids aren't hanging out after school.
They're not hanging out at the school and not breaking
the next to go to pet rowllies or the football games.
It's different now, and you know, electronics and social media,

(15:18):
it's changed all of that to where from afar people
feel close, but you don't have the same synergy.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
Don't you think you're addicted to social media?

Speaker 5 (15:26):
No? As and I could give two shits about it,
but at one point it was it was what drove
the machine. So I'm one of the early winners in
the space of social media about understanding the value of it.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
Like anything else, is going to be getting bad.

Speaker 5 (15:41):
I think that the bad is a little more present today,
but I also think that the good is watching this
younger generation crack the code and figure out like a
different side of economic payoff. They've cracked the code to
where the value in return and energy creative on social
media is making them millions of dollars live streaming, gaming, vlogging,

(16:06):
you name it.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
They've cracked the code and made of the business.

Speaker 5 (16:10):
So you're looking at a lot of people take care
of themselves and their families from doing the thing that
we thought was like real simple and just one note.
They've created a teer to it. So I think my
hat off to them, but I also understand, like I don't.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
I don't do that. I don't have that much.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
I don't have to do that. Well, you don't have
to do that. It's also yeah, okay, moving on from
that subject, because who cares. I want to ask you
what are you most proud of as a person, Not
of your accomplishments, but what is like a lesson that
you learned that you didn't have to learn more than
you know once or twice that you're proud of, like
understanding that lesson.

Speaker 5 (16:47):
I think the biggest lesson I'll probably say is don't
expect others to give you what you give them, Right,
Like one of the biggest things that I'm now very
comfortable with understanding is my heart is different and the
energy attached to making others feel good or to put

(17:07):
others in a position to do good is a high
level energy. And just because you have that, it doesn't
mean that other people should. Everybody operates differently, right, and
everybody shows their love or shows their value or shows
their I guess you can say commitment differently. Yeah, so
I took the pressure off of others when I stop

(17:31):
expecting you to do what I do or to work
the same way that I wol Did that.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Happen when you met the Plastic cup boys.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
I mean, me and my guys have definitely had our peaks,
hills and valleys. But I think they're all not only talented,
but they're all chasing different things for themselves. So you
go through this period where you want the most for everybody,
and if they're not doing what you think, then you
don't think that they're doing enough or are.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
You go through a period where you want you feel
like you're helping so many people, and then when they
exceed beyond what you've provided for them, when they have
their own success beyond what you've given them. There can
be friction because you're like, wait, wait, wait, you're going out.
The whole idea is for everyone to fly by themselves,
but some people in leadership positions want to hold on

(18:19):
to everybody and say, don't exceed beyond the success that
I've given you.

Speaker 4 (18:23):
You know that.

Speaker 5 (18:23):
That's an interesting point because I don't. I don't suffer
from that. I'm very much a I want to see
everybody fly. I want to see I want to see
everybody get to the highest level of a win.

Speaker 4 (18:36):
To me, that's special.

Speaker 5 (18:37):
If you want to know the true definition of success,
the true definition of success is look at the success
of others around the successful person. Like that's if you
really want to get into it.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
That's like when I put you on Chelsea Lately before
it when yeah, because nobody thought because of his height
and because of his body, he would ever be successful.
And I was like, oh, that's a cute little nugget, Like,
let's put him on Chelsea Lately. And you guess what
he did as a thank you. After three or four appearances,
he decided that he wanted to only be a guest

(19:06):
on Chelsea Lately, that he didn't want to be on
the panel anymore because he was becoming too famous. That's
what he said after I put him on the show,
and those his first television it was probably on The Jeffersons.
He played that little kid on The Jeffersons too, but
that was a long time.

Speaker 5 (19:19):
But I think I think that that was the right move.
And just to kind of punctuate when I'm saying you
were trying to.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Hold you down, I think I said, good for him
for asking and the answers, Yes, that's what I said,
because I wanted to fly. I wanted you to fly
like a little lash.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
You actually were very supportive of my progression in those days.
But also I think one thing that I that I'm really.

Speaker 5 (19:38):
Good at is I don't forget You don't forget the
road of the journeys. So it's like those things that
helped elevate you, you don't turn your back on them.
When things start going well, you figure out great ways
for you to maintain those relationships and those platforms. Right, Like, like,
how how did I get to the place of like

(19:59):
crazy availability and awareness from a fan base was because
of all the things that I was able to do.
So that panel was very important. When the panel turned
into just being a guest. Very important. That audience attached
to Late Night with You was a very important audience.
Like those things transferring the ticket sales, so you don't
shut the door on it. You do that while doing

(20:21):
other things, and I think I did a good job
of maintaining all of that as things continue to grow,
and even today when you look back and we're able
to go and do a podcast. The dope thing about
these relationships is like when people go and look at
how long, over the course of time you've stayed true
to a friendship, or stay true to a great energy
and a great rapport.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
It's a story. It's one long story.

Speaker 5 (20:44):
Wow, they started here, they went here, and they've been
doing this all the way. Oh my god, it's so
dope that they still find a way to maintain a relationship.
It's so dope that we're able to connect those dots
with them. That to me is special and you don't
have many of those.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
What you do, I mean, loyalty is a big thing
for you. You're very loyal and I love that about you.
I feel the same way about being loyal to people
and reciprocity. But like what you're saying is not hanging
your hat on reciprocity, like don't expect from others what
you give, which is also a good life lesson. And
another thing that I very much respect about you is
your vibration. You are operating at a high vibration. You

(21:22):
want to bring people in. You're a lover, You're always
you've always been this way. I've never seen you be
an asshole once. I mean you are an asshole, like
you are an asshole, like you're an asshole. Which, yeah,
I mean I already talked about that stuff, so I
don't need to expound.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
All of that. I just don't think you need to
say that, right, I think.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
You're an asshole. But and it's a good asshole and
it's a ridiculous asshole.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Well you know, a good assle.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
But but loyalty is important to you, very right, absolutely,
So when you say what you just said, which is
don't expect other people to give you the love that
you're giving them necessarily, then how does loyal else play
into that?

Speaker 5 (22:01):
Well, I don't think it's I don't think it's just love.
I think it's the energy. Right, Like if you just said,
if you're operating at this crazy vibration.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
It's high vibration.

Speaker 5 (22:09):
Like you just said, I can't expect everyone to meet
me here. I understand what's special about where I am,
and I understand how passionate I am about wanting so
much for so many. If you don't have the same
wants for yourself, I can't get mad at you. I
can't take that as like disrespector or I can't get frustrated.

(22:33):
I have to then say it's dope, and I understand,
like what you want for you is for you. I
want to just do what I can to help you,
and then I hope you get whatever it is that
you want. It's much easier when you can process it
differently and look at it with a dual POV. Then
look at it from one perspective, which used to be
for me I used to suffer from. Well, if you

(22:54):
don't want what I want to you don't want the
best for yourself, Like that's correct, you don't want obviously
not trying to be the best, and everybody's not trying
to do that.

Speaker 4 (23:03):
Everybody's not trying to be the best.

Speaker 5 (23:06):
And some people want to be enough, or some people
want a little bit or a little taste, and some
people want to be content.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
There's different levels for a reason. And to.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
My fault, a younger version of myself, it was like, Man,
if you're not on this page and you just don't
see what I see, then I just can't have that
or around because your energy is taken away from my energy.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
And that it's not the case all the time. You
should be able to separate it.

Speaker 5 (23:33):
You should be able to understand it, and you should
also be able to let people figure things out on
their own time. And sometimes when they do, it's a
great it's a great full circle moment. If they don't,
it doesn't matter, It doesn't affect you to the point
of no return. But I used to operate as if
it did at one point. That's the biggest lesson that
I think I had. And when I got out of
my way and I started letting other people flourish and

(23:54):
be great and stop trying to control and navigate every
single thing, I started to see things grow.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
Okay, on that note, we're gonna take a break and
we're gonna be right back with Kevin Hart. Okay, and
we're back with Kevin Hart. Can you put your pants
back on?

Speaker 4 (24:11):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Oh? Nothing, This is. This isn't a visual podcast, So
I still need you to put your pants back on pants.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I will also have you put on your headphones right
now because we're gonna start.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Put over your pants. Actually, we have callers, and you're
gonna give advice to real people. They call in for advice.
It's called dear Chelsea. How is that how you wear?

Speaker 4 (24:32):
These people are asking you for advice? Do they have
they seen you?

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Is that how you wear? Headphones?

Speaker 5 (24:40):
Like this?

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Who are you beats?

Speaker 6 (24:41):
Well?

Speaker 4 (24:41):
You don't?

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Why not?

Speaker 4 (24:44):
Because you don't need to hear in one.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
A this and it's not an air it's an early.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
One of those people that wear pods.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
The point of having a because I want to still
hear you. Clear, you're gonna hear me in the fucking
microphone miracle.

Speaker 5 (24:58):
I can hear you just like this though. Yeah, see that.
See this is you know what that's called these crazy gaslighting?

Speaker 4 (25:05):
No, this is crazy. This is what the millennials are
talking about.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Are you talking about me? I'm a millennium. Are you
talking about me?

Speaker 5 (25:10):
No?

Speaker 4 (25:10):
I'm saying that you're what they talk about.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Millennials are talking about us. They're talking about I think
that I'm talking about me only Yeah, women like me
who go like this, if you did that, she gets it.

Speaker 4 (25:22):
No, that's stupid.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
First of all, it fucking hurts my ear rings and
it hurts my ears.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
Well, then has more reason for you to have one off.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
No, it hurts my ears to have it off.

Speaker 4 (25:33):
Why would it hurt your ears to have it off
of your ear?

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Because then my ears are way bigger than your ears.
They always have been. It's catching my ear. Look at
how big my ears are.

Speaker 5 (25:44):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (25:46):
Have you ever they keep growings? Are like little two oreos.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
My Jesus, my.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Ears actually are like my very embarrassing feature. They look
like a laby. The bottom part is like laby. It's
like flappy, I don't know, bigger than my vagina, like
a whole person. I can here, Jesus, what do we
have today, Catherine?

Speaker 2 (26:08):
Oh, we have some very juicy questionss for you, Kevin.
Our first question comes from Kelly, and she has a
question about her best friend.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Try and be serious. Okay, okay, this could be serious
or it could not be. I don't know yet.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
There's a mix.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
This isn't rocket fucking science. This shut up answer the questions.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
I kid it, Dear, Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
My best friend and I have been friends for over
twenty years now, but lately she's been getting on my nerves.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
Welcome to the club.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Every time we go out to do anything, she is
overtly sexual with any mail around. She got divorced a
couple of years ago, so this is her first time
being truly single. She's joined every single dating app, and
I'm glad she's getting out there. But what I'm not
so cool about is her acting like a cat and
heat every time we're out in public. A few months ago,
we were at her daughter's twenty first birthday where she

(26:55):
was hitting on her daughter's friends to the point of
adjusting her shirt so her cleavage was fully on dis play.
Her daughter was mortified. I did address that her daughter
looked embarrassed by her behavior, and she just laughed it off.
So I don't know how to approach this or if
I even should. Last weekend, she hit on my married
friend before even taking the time to ask if he
was married. I'm heading out right now with my friends

(27:16):
and did not invite her, but I know this is
going to be a topic of conversation and I feel
the need to defend her. Am I being a prude
or is this just a phase I should wait out?

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Kelly, Hi, Kelly, Hey, Kelly. Hi, guys, Hi, this is
Kevin Hart. Do you recognize him? He's our special guest. Yeah. Yeah, Okay,
you want me to go for sure? Okay? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (27:35):
I think I have a pretty good wrap on this.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
Okay, First of all, you know, I think you have
to have a little bit of understanding to the fact
that she's divorced in life after divorce.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
If you haven't been divorced, you don't know what that's like.

Speaker 5 (27:49):
So companionship is something that people want, something that people
long for and fiend for.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
It sounds to me like there's just a want in.

Speaker 5 (27:57):
Need for companionship, and that can opinionship right now is
being filled with flirtation or fun any environments that you're
going to. So if you were looking for a real
change and it was annoying you at a high level,
I think that you should just change the environments that
you attend with this particular friend. In other words, if
you don't want to be a part of the flirtatious

(28:20):
or salacious things or ways, I think you change it
to just lunch or an early dinner and there's not
the crazy party environment or the world where you can
approach or be approached, and I think for you, you'll then
have a better understanding of what that relationship is, and
then you can separate yourself and she can go do

(28:41):
her thing when she wants to, and you don't have
to be annoyed and come off as a friend that's
prudish or just not fun within the world of fun
that she's looking for.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
How long has she been divorced.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
She's been divorced about three years.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Okay, so she's not newly divorced, not newly divorced, she's
just getting out of the newly divorced area.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
Right, I'm getting out of it. Yeah, and she's been
in two long term relationships since then.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
And so is this flirtation like horniness level? Has it spiked?
Is that what you're noticing.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
I've Yeah, I've definitely noticed in the past probably three months,
that it's really really spice. She just gets overly, like
touchy and feely with people that she really doesn't know,
she doesn't really know their situation.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
No, she's making people around her uncomfortable. Some of my
friends have said, I'm a little uncomfortable with her around
my husband because she didn't even know that he was
married to me. She was just in this big friend
group and was like petting him. I was like, oh, yeah,
I can see that.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
Well. I think Kevin's advice is great and sound, but
I think so too if the problem continues, because like
it could really be like a hormonal female thing, you
know what I mean, Because all of a sudden, someone
going around and like, you know, kind of semi groping
people is a problem, and it will become a problem,
especially since people are fucking married and they don't like that.
But if you want to have an honest conversation with her,

(29:56):
I would, as a woman, appreciate a woman having an
honest conversation with me saying like, hey, your behavior which
has happened in the past, your behavior was inappropriate or
you're you know, like, hey, you made someone feel uncomfortable.
You don't want to shame her and say everyone's talking
about you, but you want to do you do want to
be honest, as if out of a friendship you kind
of owe each other honesty to say, hey, that guy's

(30:17):
married and his wife was there and he was uncomfortable
and she was uncomfortable and cite one example instead of ten.
You know, when you do want to have a conversation,
if it gets to the point where you think you
have to have the conversation, if you in the business
of defending her, I think you could just say, she's
just going through something right now, I'm going to be
her friend and you know, hopefully this is just a phase.

Speaker 5 (30:37):
Is that really going through something that some people were
just a little faster with life?

Speaker 1 (30:41):
No? No, because she said this isn't typical of her behavior, right.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
She said in the last three or four months.

Speaker 5 (30:46):
So maybe like she's in a fucking mindset like you
know what, I've I haven't let go and just completely
let loose, and you know what, at this time, I
just want to fucking do what I want when I
want in return. Granted, yes, rubbing some people the wrong way,
flirting with husbands when you don't know that they're married, okay, yes,
but it's not like she's going and said, oh, this

(31:09):
is my husband. Then she's still doing the shit she
didn't know. I'm saying, if she's in a mindset of
I'm going to live and operate differently for me, I
think you should just be open and discussion, like, hey,
just tell me where you at, where you are mentally, like,
are you on like a more free life living journey
right now? Because it's appearing like you know, you just

(31:29):
you look like a fucking can and heat right now,
like every guy you flirting with look like you want
to fuck everybody. If that's the case, let table it
so I know where you are and I can let
you operate when and where you want to do that.
But you can't do that in all the settings. It's
coming off crazy, But let me know because me and
you are close enough, so I'm on the table. I'm
on a table of understanding.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
That's actually really good advice, Chris. I wasn't expecting that
from you.

Speaker 5 (31:52):
You don't expect me to be a sound not nostalgic board,
no common sense, it's.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Not common sense. It's a little bit more new on
than common sense. And I wouldn't expect.

Speaker 5 (32:01):
Everybody wants to everybody wants to attack the person with
like whole like activities.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
I understand saying that. I'm just saying when you make
someone feel uncomfortable, I want to know if I made
someone feel uncomfortable, if I was at a party and
was like hitting on ancone made Yeah, well that was intentional.
This is not intentional, I don't think.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Well, and I'm sure there's like room for levity in
that conversation about like girl, you got a.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Tone of yeah, yeah, exactly. It doesn't have to be
so serious.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Yeah, you know, I definitely want to come at it
from a place of love and understanding because I know
everything she's been through on her human diary. She's mine, Yeah,
I get that, But I really love that approach.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yeah, yeah, it's too pronged approach where you talk, but
also maybe she's a brunch friend for a while.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
What is a too pronged approach called? What is that?
Remember what we used to call it?

Speaker 4 (32:47):
To talk about approach? I think that's what you would
call it.

Speaker 5 (32:51):
I think I think a too pronged approach is Actually
I was thinking of the shaker.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
That's what I remember, the shocker. I think that's sorry related.
I don't know, it might be directly related to her.
Maybe that's exactly what she's looking for, the shocker.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Give her the shocker and send her on her way.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
Anyway, I think that those all sound like good options.
Do you?

Speaker 3 (33:09):
Absolutely? Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
Okay, thank you, thank you bye. That was good, Kevin
h for you.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
Yeah for me, that was impressed by that.

Speaker 5 (33:20):
Why can't you just like give you there?

Speaker 4 (33:24):
Because you do it?

Speaker 5 (33:25):
And then there's this weird change. It happens right after.
It's like the car just goes to the left. It's
like we're on a great road.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Do you want to make you want to make card
jokes right now? I don't think so.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
So all right, well, our next question comes from Jennifer,
and this one is just an email, so she won't
be joining us, but the subject line is hot tub fury.
Dear Chelsea, don't you.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Have a show about hot tubs or cold cold?

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (33:51):
You do the whole plunges and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
He does a bit like that, yeah too.

Speaker 4 (33:54):
Yeah, one day she will support me.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
I believe I have supported you on several occasions. I
think I worked out with your fucking trainer too on
a show. What was that show?

Speaker 4 (34:04):
Was that?

Speaker 1 (34:04):
The Cold plun Show?

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Jennifer says, Dear Chelsea, I have an absolutely fed up
situation I'm dealing with. I've been married to my husband
for fourteen years, together for twenty we own a business
and a home together. On to the hot tub fury.
There's a woman who circles our friend group, let's call
her Abby. On New Year's Eve twenty twenty, she got
naked in my hot tub at a party, and I

(34:30):
told her flat out that I was uncomfortable with her
being naked in the hot tub with.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
This girl gets around.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
I told my husband the same thing. I have zero
problems with him having single female friends, and he has
a lot that he sees for drinks or shows that
I don't wish to attend or don't care about. In
twenty twenty two, when I went on a cruise, I
later learned that Abby had been at my home when
I was not there. Then this past New Year's Eve,
she got naked in the hot tub again in front
of me. I confronted her and asked her to leave.

(35:01):
I was away this past Friday night, and around eleven
pm I got a text from a neighbor telling me
the dogs were barking. I checked the cameras. I see
him standing naked behind our bar with two cocktails in
front of him. So I switch views and see Abby
naked in our hot tub. I didn't say anything to him.
I couldn't decide my next move, so I waited. When

(35:21):
I got home, I realized that I wasn't eating or sleeping,
so I decided to confront him. I have since found
out that Abby is at my house whenever I go
out of town. I have also gone through all the
camera footage and found that nothing beyond the naked hot
tubbing and some bizarres sitting in the bar naked, has happened.
They never touched each other, not even a hug when
she was leaving. It's so bizarre to me. I'm uncertain

(35:44):
if this is cheating or severe boundary stepping. I don't
feel like I can leave and start a new life
and career at forty six.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Help Jennifer, Well, she really needs to be a caller,
I know, because hey, there's so many questions. Do they
have cameras? They don't have camera. The husband knows about
the camera, right, so of course he's not going to
be doing anything on camera. So perhaps they're not doing
anything in front of her, and then they go inside
and do something. I mean, that's one theory. Like, he's

(36:11):
not an idiot, it's his house, so why would he
be fucking somebody on camera that seems really stupid. Kevin,
what is your what do you have to say about this?

Speaker 4 (36:21):
I mean, this is this is just stupid.

Speaker 5 (36:23):
I mean like literally this is This is one of
the ones where you what are you asking? What help
is she looking for? Like if you're okay with your
husband having female friends, and you have been for the
duration of your marriage and your relationship, and you choose
to not be around those environments, so that means you
support whatever the world of fun is and you're his

(36:44):
level of comfort has progressed and grown over the years.
And if the female friends come over your house when
you're not there and you're aware or not aware, you
said boundaries or linestepping, like, well, it appears that you've
already set some type of boundary that this is okay.
I don't know what husband in his right mind is
having female company over as if a wife can't find

(37:07):
out when there's cameras and camera footage and you checking
the cameras and then seeing her at your house numerous
amount of times, like and then her getting naked in
front of you when you're there, obviously like she doesn't
feel like she's don't get anything wrong, Like so somewhere
along the line.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
Somebody's not being very clear with what's happening.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Also, you did say she asked this woman to leave,
and because she was naked, your husband understands. That's also
setting a boundary saying you don't want to be around that.
And then the husband's she's there all the time when
you're gone, that's fishy.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
But she got naked again, like the first time.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
She said the New Year's part.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
I don't trust your but I also don't trust the husband.

Speaker 5 (37:53):
I think the husband is fine. He's not doing the
husband ain't doing nothing wrong. He's like, look at the cameras.
Go look at the cameras. I ain't touched this woman.
I ain't a goddamn thing with this woman. Yeah, it
was naked. So what we send at the bar having
a drink. The hot tub got hot, we got out,
we sat at the bar. You see it right there,
like he's.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, yeah, that's his defense. You don't think I know
there's cameras, obviously, I know you can look at this
not feeling anything wrong. I find that behavior very suspicious.
I don't think two people are hanging around naked because
they're nudists. I don't think that I don't think that's
a thing. I think there's probably something more to the
story that you're not willing to face. And if you
don't want to face it, then I would say, turn

(38:33):
off the cameras and look away.

Speaker 5 (38:34):
I tell you another big thing, the whole idea of
strangers over your house, like, I've never been a company
at my house. Guy her saying, oh yeah, well she's there,
and other people were there at the house, Like this
is why you don't invite people to your home. Weird
shit happens when weird people get free and get comfortable.

(38:55):
Somebody feeling that comfortable that they can get naked at
your a home where you lay your head and your husband,
that's a problem within itself. And if it's happening a
number of times, clearly, somewhere along the lines, when it
happened the first time, somebody was like, hey, go girl,
somebody is supporting it, Like, you don't double back and

(39:15):
do the naked thing again.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
If it was met with aggression or resistance the first.

Speaker 5 (39:20):
Time, exactly, something somewhere there's some information being left out.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
She exactly, you told her not to be naked in
your house, You asked her to leave, and the minute
you were gone, she went back and did the same
thing you asked her not to do. So she has
no boundary with you because somebody else has let her
know that she doesn't have to have a boundary. And
that's somebody is your fucking husband. So you have a
problem with your husband. I believe something more is going
on between those two. You're forty six years old. That

(39:46):
is not the end of the world. Please don't ever
say what am I going to do as a forty
six year old woman? Plenty of shit. You could change
the channel anytime you want in this life, right And
apparently they say if you make it through the next
ten years, we can live till War one hundred and twenty,
so you might have a whole life ahead of you.
I don't know if I mean, I've already spoken about
how I don't want to live that long. I can't
afford to live that long. It was, it'll be exhausting.

(40:07):
What am I going to be doing stand up when
I'm one hundred and nine, like I hope not. I
don't you know that nobody wants to see that. I
mean talk about vaginal dryness, you know, So, I mean, honestly,
one hundred and nine years old. My god, I will
figure out a way to get a wet pussy at one.

Speaker 4 (40:23):
Hundred and nine.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Anyway, we got a little off track. But you know
who's pussy isn't dry? The woman he's sitting in your
chacuzzi naked.

Speaker 5 (40:32):
That's an aggressive that's a very aggress it's an aggressive move.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
So do we send her a couple's counseling? The marriage a.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
Couple of counseling. I have a direct conversation with your husband.
This is not a very hard problem to solve.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yeah, it's very easy, all right. And if he won't
stop seeing abby when.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Well, then that's a big red flag too. This is
all very odd. There's no counselor that you're going to
go to. I mean it's good actually to go to
a counsel with him. So so you have someone tell
him a count of party. This is not normal behavior.
You don't have naked opposite sex people at your house
when your wife is out of town. That leads to
one thing. I mean, where are they going when they're

(41:09):
drinks at the bar? Right?

Speaker 4 (41:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (41:13):
All right, Jennifer, Well keep us posted.

Speaker 5 (41:15):
Well.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Our next caller is Savannah. Her subject line is my
stepmom thinks I'm doing porn. Oh, dear Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Oh, that's perfect. Kevin just launched his only Fans Paid.
That's perfect. It is actually on it right.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Now, Dear Chelsea. My stepmom has been in my life
since I was ten and I'm now thirty one. We've
had a pretty good relationship for most of my life,
but for a year now we haven't spoken. I got
out of rehab last year, and at first she and
my whole family were nothing but supportive and proud. When
I got out of rehab. I had moved back to
my apartment after treatment and was enjoying some time before

(41:49):
re entering the workforce, especially since I was still in
treatment three times a week. I began to get questions
about how I could afford being unemployed. Then my dad
called me, who I have the closest and most love
relationship with, and asked me if I was selling my
body on the internet or doing that quote only funds thing.
I was aghast. I have no judgment, nor do I
condemn that line of work, but it's just simply not

(42:11):
something I'm comfortable with and I have a successful career.
After some interrogation, I found out that my step mom
told my mom and dad that I was doing OnlyFans
because I had once asked an offhand question about, oh,
what do people put on their taxes if they're making
bank doing that sort of work. That was last year.
We haven't spoken since my dad called with her on
the line to host the apology. We haven't had a

(42:32):
genuine conversation since, and that's over a year, which is
extremely unlike us. How do I get us both to
move on? I feel like I need a genuine apology
where my dad isn't policing the phone call, and it
appears she's fine going on without speaking forever. Please help.
I want our relationship back, but I need more from her.
Savannah Hi, Savannah, Hi, Savannah Hi, Kelsey Hi.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
In your stepmom's defense, you look like you could have
your own only fans.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
You're very hot.

Speaker 1 (42:59):
Yeah, you know what I mean. So, and women like
that are always think younger girls are up to something,
and I'm like, I'm not up to half the shit
you think I'm up to. I'm just honest about what
I am doing. So it sounds a lot worse because
everybody else is lying. But anyway, so she's just like
kind of holding a grudge against you since that happened.
Do you feel like or it's just not the same
since she confronted you.

Speaker 6 (43:20):
I think she's afraid to talk to me again after
she knows that she spread a rumor about me that
was really damaging, especially in a really vulnerable time. I
was just getting out of rehab, been figuring out what
do people think of me? Now I'm going it back
into the workforce. How do I explain this your gap
I took, so I was really dealing with insecurity. So
she hit me at a really low point. So when
my dad called and said, you know, your stepmom's on

(43:42):
the phone, and she kind of just said, well, we
didn't know what you were doing, so I just didn't know.
And I'm like, that's not a valid enough excuse to
make up the rumor that you did. So we've just
been going for about a year with really not reaching
out to each other, seeing each other at big family
events and kind of saying hi and I we need
to have another conversation to really clear the error.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
Well, this is probably a good step in your recovery,
actually to have an adult conversation that isn't acrimonious. And
to actually say, hey, listen, I know things haven't been
the same in the last year, and I just want
you to know exactly why it struck me so hard
because I was in such a vulnerable spot in my life.
You really that was so unfair that you assumed because
I asked one question and so I really really hurt me.

(44:26):
And but I we're past that, I hope, and I
would love to like work towards building back our relationship, right,
I mean, that's all reasonable.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Absolutely.

Speaker 6 (44:34):
I think I just wish she had the gumption to
you know, I have a stepsister who she fonds over,
and she should, that's her daughter. But I just wish
I felt like she knows like something's wrong and she
misses the relationship too, because it feels like we're just
in the stalemate forever.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
I know, But don't wish for what you can do,
like you could be a bigger person here. Kevin was
trying to say, what were you trying to say?

Speaker 5 (44:54):
Well, Chelsea, for one of the few times you're actually
kind of write and I'd never actually say that. I never,
I've really never I think I've ever agreed with you.
This is probably like, yeah, this is probably like one
of the first times I feel like you said something good.
I'm going to give you a really good cut to
the chase moment. And this is what a volume of people,
high volume of people suffer from. Right. I was talking

(45:16):
about it earlier, like the expectation of what you feel
you would do, you put on someone else and if
they don't meet that expectation, it bothers you. Right, people
are so afraid to just be direct and have forward
facing conversations like a year a year gap of a
fall in a relationship doesn't make sense to something that's

(45:38):
honestly not that difficult. It's this isn't a hard problem.
Is she wrong for assuming that you were doing something? Absolutely?
Is it uncommon for women today to be doing the
thing that she assumed or that she thought based off
of whatever was she heard.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
It is what it is, you got.

Speaker 5 (45:55):
It's a multi billion dollar business where everybody's doing it.
And by the way, it doesn't mean that if you
were you're doing porn. You could be posting regular pictures.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
You can have your toes, you be wearing toes, spaceers.
There's a lot of footation.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
It could be anything I thought about toes.

Speaker 5 (46:09):
Okay, listen, it could it could be anything, And I'm
just saying the first assumption in thought attached to it
doesn't have to be the worst. So there is just
an assumption and assumption that's taking place. You're hurt because
of her assumption and you think that I'm doing something
that I would never do.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
She's like, well, I.

Speaker 5 (46:27):
Thought because of what you said, and okay, I spun
it and put it out there. It's a real easy conversation. Hey,
we were close. It's real stupid for us to have
this thing holding over our head. I just didn't like
your timing of it. You know what I was going through,
and I felt from you, if anybody, you should actually
have a little more sensitivity in knowing how vulnerable I
was at that time. Now, if you didn't, maybe we

(46:48):
missed some key conversations. But how was that a low
and coming out? You hitting me with that? It kind
of put me back down. And like now as I'm
becoming like back to myself of old and experiencing life
and loving life, I'm realizing that I'm missing what we
once had. I want to work on getting back there,
but I need you to understand where I was. And

(47:09):
also I want to hear from you just in like
addressing that and being accountable for that, then let's move
on from it.

Speaker 4 (47:15):
But it's a.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
Five minute to ten minute conversation. These things don't have
to be drawn out.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
And you're being the bigger person because she's your stepmother,
so technically she is the more mature, older version of
a woman who should have been, you know, making these
inroads to you already. But this is a great exercise
to actually just say fuck it, I don't care about
the smallness of another person. I'm going to be the
big person and say, yeah, no problem. I mean, you know,
it's over, but this is where I was coming from,

(47:40):
and I'd love to build back our relationship and get
back to normal.

Speaker 5 (47:43):
This feels awkward, and guess what if the relationship doesn't
make it back to the standards of old, it happens.
It's life like. So holding on to a concept, or
holding on to this feeling of old like that may
not be in your best entry for the new version
of yourself that you've now become. So don't be afraid

(48:04):
to say, okay, like, if we don't get back, we don't.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
But at least I got this off my chest.

Speaker 5 (48:08):
So you can know how I feel, and I know
that I was very adult with how I approached you.
It was very much mature. This isn't a Caddy moment
of back and forth. This is one of simple understanding,
and I feel like if we had that as.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Good Absolutely I agree with all of that, and then
at the end you can just say and thanks for
the great idea. I actually started an OnlyFans page and
I'm crushing it.

Speaker 4 (48:27):
Yeah. Yeah, by the way, I'm thinking about.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
It because you need more money. Well, oh for her,
I thought about that.

Speaker 6 (48:35):
We had a trip to Chicago where you're watching my
niece and nephew, and it's thought about just saying like, oh,
I'm going to disappear for an hour. I've got an
appointment with my only fans, so we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Yeah, But I think that's the bigger picture, you know,
always just step above when people are bringing like being
low about something, just be bigger and congrats. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (48:53):
I guess I'm just afraid that if I come with
that that she'll hide from it or won't address it,
or I won't get the resolute.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
It doesn't matter what you get, it matters how you
go after it, like you be the bigger person. You
do it. If you don't get the results you desire,
that's on her, that's not on you.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
Done your part, Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Actually you brought this up on another episode recently. Was
forgiving someone before you get the apology, you know, and
you had sort of the forest apology. But I wonder
if you can go in, you know, with a sense
of empathy, like she might be feeling kind of embarrassed
about what she did, Yeah, and like going in being
like I like, spend some time with yourself, forgive her
and then approach it.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Do you know what your dad said to her? Because
I bet you your dad gave her an aar full
about that.

Speaker 6 (49:36):
So my dad had to call me one morning, early
in the morning, and he was like, and my dad
and I are very close. He'll always see me as
his little girl. You know, we talk three times a week.
But it was the worst call ever, you call me
early in the morning. He just said, are you doing porn? Which,
hearing that from his mouth, I was just like, oh,
I told him no. He believes me. He is frustrating
now that there's tension, of course, so the rumors put

(49:58):
to bed. But I know he's just wishes the tension
would be over, and he has. He believes my side.
He knows that that's not what I was up to.
So yeah, it's really just the between us that's left.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
Yeah, well, congratulations on getting sober. Kevin has been struggling
with his sobriety since I met him.

Speaker 5 (50:15):
Well, you know, I have little shoes, so it's tough
to kick it.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
No, I did not get that. I don't think about
that try together.

Speaker 5 (50:25):
Lucky, lucky enough, I haven't. But I do admire those
that have made it out of the fire. So that's
pretty dope to hear you say I did. I was,
but I am now. Yeah, I think that's Uh, that's special.
Real heroes don't always wear capes, buddy.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah, okay, thanks for calling by Savannah. Thanks, Savannah really
looked like a Savannah. No, I know.

Speaker 4 (50:48):
So, just to be clear, there is no link.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Oh no, there is no, although she said on our
interview her cousin does only fans, so it's like a thing,
you know, that's in the realm of reality for her family.
Saying no, there's no link is very hot. Anyway, moving along,
Moving along, Well, let's take a quick break and we'll
be back to wrap up with a very stupid question.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Okay, Okay, we're gonna take a break. I'm gonna give
Kevin a quick bath, and we'll be right back. And
we're back with Kevin Hart.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
We are, and we're back with a final kind of
dumb question.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Perfect.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
That's a great way to end us, Gina says, dear Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
This what this, some of our conversations today is probably
some of the most serious conversations we've ever had. Even
though this I wouldn't consider this a serious conversation, there
were moments of seriousness within the conversation. I think so
for you and me, because usually it's not very serious question.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
Some of those questions like required a good peal.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
You know, I mean, even our own conversation before the questions.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
Yes, this was a lot. It was.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
There's harassment coming from one of us to the other person.
To me. Yeah, usually that's true. I'm not gonna lie.
And you take the abuse very well. You almost seem
to enjoy it. Well, yeah, I mean I've just grown
accustomed to it, right, Okay, Yes, that's what I wanted
to say.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Well, Gina says dear Chelsea. I couldn't think of a
better person to help me decide if I should listen
to the little devil on my shoulder that wants me
to seek some mostly innocent revenge on my husband. We
have been happily married for one year and living together
for three While living together has come with the expected
amounts of uncovering stupid shit we are going to argue about.

(52:36):
There's one silly thing we haven't come to a resolution
on the water diverter in the tub slash shower. He
thinks it's no big deal to leave it on the
shower setting, and I think it's a common courtesy to
put it back to the tub setting so no one
gets sprayed in the face with cold water at six am.
I'm sure you can guess which of us keeps getting
sprayed in the face at six am. But I'm not

(52:56):
here to discuss our disagreement nor our flaws, I said,
I'm here to discuss revenge. We recently installed a dog
shower attachment in our home's only bathroom. Ever since we
installed it, I can't help but think, how if I
just accidentally leave the diverter in the new dog shower position,
he will get sprayed directly in the face.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
I do it absolutely no question. First of all, I
want to thank you for bringing a question like this
to the podcast because we need more levity, and I
like the stupidity of this and absolutely retaliate against your husband.
That's so funny. After we I just gave you a bath,
that we get a bath sub question.

Speaker 5 (53:32):
That's actually it's not. But I just want to back
up the dog diverter in the in their shower. Yeah, yes,
I sure I heard that.

Speaker 7 (53:39):
Correctly, and the only one in the guaranteed to be
So the dog takes the shower a couple or in
the same shower, that's a bigger question.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
More Again, I'm going to guess that these people are white.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
If I have the guess, why do you say that?
Why are you being discriminatory? Well, fill a little.

Speaker 4 (54:00):
I'm willing to bet the farm on this one.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Why would you say that white people would have Why?
Because black people what the dogs?

Speaker 5 (54:07):
The dog is probably showering with the holes outside. There's
no such thing as a diverter in the black household,
especially not in the one bathroom in the house. Get
that goddamn dog outside and don't get that out there,
that dog in the bucket and figure it out.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
That's what it is.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
It is so true. You don't let your dog sleep
in the bed. No, Black people don't like that.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
No.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
All my black friends when they ever see me, they go,
you look like one of those girls who sleeps in
bed with your dogs. And my other friend Yahya always goes.
White girls don't wash their legs. We've talked about this.
White girls don't wash their legs. I go, why do
my legs need to be washed? They're fucking covered, Like
my legs are going out without me, and when I
take a shower, all the soap from my shower comes down. Tiffany,

(54:55):
I had this conversation with two.

Speaker 4 (54:57):
So you feel like that's It's not like my legs are.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Out there gardening all day without me. Wash your legs. No,
I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (55:08):
Yeah, what do you mean? You don't think what.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Is going on with your legs that they need washing?

Speaker 5 (55:12):
It's your body. You wash your body, Chelsea, your entire body.
You don't pick and choose.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
I have hot spots. I have hot spots that I wash.
I get one, two, three, four, and I get those going,
and then and then the fifth is the head, and
then everything is fine.

Speaker 4 (55:30):
No, it's not Chelsea, I.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Want to cleaning in between your toes? Who got in there?

Speaker 4 (55:36):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Who got it in my leg?

Speaker 4 (55:39):
You that it's dirt and me? You see how to
back your he is right.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Now with clean clothes over it.

Speaker 5 (55:44):
Okay, yes, but you're you're gonna conjure of sweat on
the back of you.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
No, I don't. I'm not a molester. Why would I
be sweating on the backs of my knees.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
Because you sit You're sitting with your legs crawls.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Yeah, criss cross apple sauce.

Speaker 4 (55:55):
Okay, this is a hot spot behind these.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Is a hot No, no, no, not for maybe for you,
it's not for me, okay.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
Because this is just what we're culturally different.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Well yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 5 (56:04):
Well, I'm just telling you it really is. And this
is the thing that we just had to nip in
the butt. Also, you probably don't even use like a washwrag.

Speaker 4 (56:11):
You're like a hand.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
I don't use a wash oh my god.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
Oh because your hands have because your hands are why scrubble? Oh?
Because you have the the loofahs on your hands?

Speaker 1 (56:27):
Why why don't you Why is sleeping with the dogs?
I mean I understand that that is that that is
actually dirty?

Speaker 4 (56:33):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (56:33):
Who cares?

Speaker 4 (56:34):
What do you mean? Who cares? That's my bed, that's
my bed.

Speaker 5 (56:38):
The dogs are outside all day running around in the backyard,
playing and stuff that you want them to come in,
jump in the bed, sleep in the bed.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
You've never pissed the bed and slept in it?

Speaker 5 (56:48):
No, you wake up after you do it. Now, definitely
I have wet the bed of young, young and old age.
I am definitely guilty of that. But immediately I get
up and this has to be changed. This has to
be this.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I I once this is not a flattering story, and
that's why I'll share it. I once was very I
don't remember what drugs I was on, but I was
on something and we were in bed and I had
to pee so many times before I could go to sleep.
And we were in a hotel room in Vegas. This
is when I was in my twenties, and I was

(57:20):
so sick of getting up to pee that I just said,
I'm just gonna pee right here, and I'm going to
move over onto the other side of the bed. And
I thought I could do that. And then when I
moved over to the other side of the bed, I
was like this is disgusting. I can't pee there too, yeah,
because it sprints. Yeah, and that was the last time
I peed in the bed.

Speaker 5 (57:38):
By the way, this is a good moment just to
kind of point out to the listeners that this is
who you're asking your questions to, right, this is who
you are.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
Asking for sound advice from the woman.

Speaker 5 (57:49):
I felt that she could peel on one side of
the bed and roll over and that here wouldn't be
pee there and then no, forget the smell, none of
that stuff matters. Okay, I'm gonna change her name from
Chelsea to Hotspot Hotspot Chelsea because you already watch her.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
What if I I I go into the shower like
it's an emergency. I don't want to be light lingering
in there, so I have to get all the zones
right away, just in case, because I've treated like a
fire drill.

Speaker 4 (58:24):
No, why are you in a rush?

Speaker 1 (58:26):
So if I dilly dally around with my legs in
my arms, you're adding.

Speaker 4 (58:30):
A three minute You're adding a three minute times.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Yeah, I don't like being in the shower for that long,
So that's probably it is.

Speaker 5 (58:37):
Really this is so interesting to me because this debate
is ongoing it's the one thing. Like, you know, there's
so much that we discussed, but nobody wants to just
nip this in the bud, and I think it all
goes away.

Speaker 4 (58:50):
We would feel more.

Speaker 5 (58:51):
Comfortable as a culture if we were just here some
white people say, you know what, I understand the washcloth
and I get it. Okay, if that's this is about,
I'll meet you halfway and I'll use a washcloth.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
That doesn't mean I'm going to wash my entire body,
but I will.

Speaker 5 (59:07):
I'll start by at least admitting that the use of
the washcloth is important. And then and then we can
we can rest there and I think we can work
on the other stuff in steps. But the the the
double bang of no washcloth and only hotspots, that's a lot.

Speaker 4 (59:24):
That's a lot to digest.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
Kevin. I want to thank you for coming over today.

Speaker 5 (59:27):
What the fuck man, Okay, that's why are you acting
like that?

Speaker 4 (59:32):
Feels like I had.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
Well, he's his dog sniffing you.

Speaker 5 (59:35):
But it's the way he looks at me while he's
doing very like, what's his deal?

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Confrontational? Yeah, you've had a problem with all of my dogs,
every dog I've had. You're never friendly to.

Speaker 4 (59:45):
Dog because they all think I'm fifty cent.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
No, they don't think you're fifty cent.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
They think him fifty.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
Before we wrap, Kevin, what do you say to Gina?
I know, Chelsea, you say, SPRAYM in the face? Should
Gina spray?

Speaker 5 (59:58):
I want Gina to fucking get a hobby, Okay, I
want Jama. I want Gina to figure out what else
to do during the day instead of talking to me
about the goddamn shower settings. Just like, so what do
I do? I mean, what do you guys think? Do
I get them back? Or do I I feel like
it's payback? Like what are you talking about? Like, God,

(01:00:19):
damn it. Do you want to switch it yourself? If
you know what's there? It is?

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
I feel like it automatically happens. Usually it's supposed to automate. Anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Yeah, anyway is right? Anyway. This is the end of
this episode and the episode. The episode's title will be
called Anyway, not to be confused with any ways.

Speaker 4 (01:00:39):
Good night, good one, good night man.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
See you next week.

Speaker 4 (01:00:42):
Love you, Chelsea, thank you, I love you, Kevin.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
My upcoming shows are Brooklyn on November eighth, Bethlehem, November ninth, Philadelphia,
November tenth, and then I'm going to Texas November fifteenth, sixteenth,
and seventeenth. I will be in Dallas, Austin, and Sugarland, Texas,
and then I have another show in Vegas on November thirtieth.
San Diego is November twenty ninth, and then Des Moines, Omaha,

(01:01:06):
New Orleans, and Atlantic to close out the year. So
check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets and I will see
you there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com