Saving the F*cking World with Celeste Barber

Comic Celeste Barber joins Chelsea to talk about making a retiree of her Hot Husband, instamommies who show up looking gorgeous for school pickup, and why she tells her kids she’s on social media “for work”.  Then: A baby writer wonders if it’s time to leave her full-time job.  A dad creates wedding drama out of thin air.  And a wife wonders how to tell acquaintances about her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s cheating ways… or whether she should keep them to herself?

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Check out Celeste’s UK/Europe/Dubai tour dates here, and grab your Booie Beauty here!

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Order a signed copy of Chelsea’s new book HERE!

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Should we get right into it?

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Sure? Auden say, why not?

Speaker 3 (00:04):
We have an amazing guest today.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Who is it here?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
From Australia?

Speaker 4 (00:07):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (00:07):
Okay, ah, you know her.

Speaker 6 (00:11):
She's an author, she's got her own makeup line, she's
a comedian, and she's the best Instagram celest Barber.

Speaker 7 (00:17):
Yeah, and her UK, Europe and Dubai tour is kicking
off April fourth, so I'll be sure to check that
out and check out Blue Beauty at booie dot com.

Speaker 6 (00:26):
Okay, we're sitting here with my girlfriend, Celeste Barber. She's
not only my girlfriend, she's a lot of things do
a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
How did I find out about you? I found out
about you?

Speaker 6 (00:37):
I think probably from your Instagram because she does these
If you don't follow her, which you should be following
her for those of you who are unfamiliar, she does
these great kind of how would you describe them?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Just ripping off idiotic modeling.

Speaker 6 (00:52):
Poses, and then how I would have described it, recreating
them as a regular person a regular.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Parties, Yeah, parardies of them, taking inappropriate, unfluttering photos of
myself and putting them up against models.

Speaker 6 (01:04):
And videos and videos are really where it's at, because
you know, when you.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
See honestly dogs around me at the moment, it's a
whole thing.

Speaker 7 (01:16):
Let her sit here, It's fine, okay, as long as
she's not snorting into the microphone.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 6 (01:20):
He made some questionable sounds the other day, Doug, and
I was like, get out of here. It sounds like
someone's farting and it doesn't sound like you. Anyway, she
does Celet's recreates. You know what I like about it
more than the obvious, which is taking the piss and laughing.
It really shows you how ridiculous modeling can be, Like
what sexy is supposed to be. When these girls walk
around half naked, you know, with like their tongues out

(01:42):
of their mouths or just in some ridiculous pose that
you're like, is that sexy?

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Like when did that become sexy?

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:49):
But like walking around, you know, you know, holding a
green smooth like you say, we're likely their tongues hang
out of the mouth and the caption is just dropping
the kids to school, right, And.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
That's absolutely not what it looks like.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Drop when you fucking keeps to school, that's not And
that's kind of why I started doing it right, because
it's like magazines are pain in the ass and Mike
us all hide ourselves, and now there's this social media
that kind of seeps in without us knowing.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
I was like, no, I'm going to poke fun to that.
I actually started doing.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
It before videos were available on Instagram. Oh well I've
been doing this shit for a long time, but it.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Was just photos.

Speaker 4 (02:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:22):
Yeah, Well the videos really lend a little bit more
context to it because we were also just watching this
episode you did of Drew Barrymore Show where this is
an issue that happens. We get calls about this all
the time on this podcast about body image and how
do you know? Everyone always I can't get down to
the size I want to get down, and it's like
I always want to give advice that it is not
about dieting, you know what I mean. I want to

(02:43):
give advice about empowering yourself to accept the body that
you're in and be happy about it and learn like
how strong, healthy and vibrant you are and where your
value comes from, because it's not your body image that
is paramount to everything, you know. I spent so much
time in my youth and early twenties no, all of
my twenties just obsessing over what I looked like and

(03:07):
what a fucking waste of time that it is.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
It's obsessing of it being thin, and I know I'm
forty two now, so getting into the sexy perimenopause vibes,
which is a real riot, and how it's like, no, no, ladies,
you don't need to just do cardio anymore.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
What you need to do is lift weights. And I
think I wish I fucking knew.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
That earlier, about how important it is to be strong
and healthy, not just scared and skinny at all times.
Or it's like skinny but grateful because you can fit
into clothes and that body image stuff.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
It's it's all encompassing.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Was that quote? It was it Keith Mass's quote. Nothing.

Speaker 6 (03:46):
It tastes as good as skinny feels. She set us
up for this demise that we're living out.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah, we'll blame her for that, absolutely, but it is important.

Speaker 6 (03:55):
I mean, I think you're a pretty grid example of
being a normal size and exploiting that you know, and
talking about where your value comes from, because you talked
about that and Drew barrymore So, I'd love for you
to say a little bit about that.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
Well, how I look is the least interesting thing about me,
and I've always kind of known that, Like I've never
been I look fine, but I haven't really cared, do
you know what I mean. I remember when I was younger, though,
my mom said to me, who are going out? I
don't know if maybe it was a school thing, and
school was a bag addicts for me, so I probably
didn't want to go. And mom got me something nice

(04:28):
to wear, and I was like, oh no, I don't
want to do it. And she said to me, you
are scared to look nice. You are scared to actually
look good because you think you can only do one
and you can't do the other.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
And when I was younger, of course, I was like,
fuck you, mommy, you don't know me. I look beautiful
all the time.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
You know. I was always defensive. But as I got old,
I was like, I think that's right. I think I'm like,
I know, I just have to know. My currency is
my sense of humor, my personality, all those.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Sort of things. People.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
You know, I'm very open with people and I'm not
allowed to kind of be But as I got older,
I was like, I really think my currency of being
funny and kind and cutting through shit is a really
beautiful thing and it makes me feel like kind of
really gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
In that world.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
And you know, it's fucking tricky because we want to
point at someone to blame them, but it's it's everywhere.
Society just looks at women and goes, if you look
a certain way, then certain doors will open for you.
If you don't look a certain way, all the best.
Sorry about that. So, like even the body positive movements,

(05:36):
like they put Ashley Graham on one catwalk and they're like, brilliant,
We've ticked that box.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
You know, we're being inclusive now. I never I never.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Started this to get caught up in the body positive movement.
I'm very happy for that movement to pick me up,
but I kind of always did it just to make
people fucking laugh and just to.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
See how absurd it is.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
And I did this thing in my first stand up tour,
had a section in my lihye.

Speaker 6 (05:59):
I just want to say that the heavy panting is
celast vagina.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
And they don't want you to think that that's me
or anything.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
They've heard that before.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
We have we have MEMSI on the cell for today.
Catherine's dog.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yeah, breathing heavy about if you're hearing, that's what you're hearing.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
No one's listening to me. That the fuck is going on.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
In the background. It's like a doggy.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
It's a whole other demographic for podcasts.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Sorry to interrupt, no please.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
In my first show, I did a section brave versus empowering.
So when I would post a photo, whoever the model was,
I'd look on that and underneath a lot of it,
you know, because they're not usually wearing much. It'd be like, oh,
that's really empowering for women. Yeah, look at us when
we can get get our tits out and look amazing.
And then when I do my parody and put my
photo next to it, everyone said how brave. It was like,

(06:47):
she is for putting that body out into the world.
So a gorgeous model does it and it's empowering for women.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Then I do it, it's like, oh God, the children,
it's so brave of her. I was like, that's not
fucking brave.

Speaker 6 (07:00):
We have to redefine a lot of words in society.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Absolutely.

Speaker 6 (07:04):
I remember breaking my arm when I was a little
girl and them telling me at the hospital how brave
I was, and I'm like, I didn't try to try
arm I didn't didn't do it on purpose. I didn't
run in front of a car to save another kid.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
I fucking fell over my dog. Like, there's nothing brave
about this. Even at eight, I was like, that's not
the right use of that word.

Speaker 4 (07:21):
Yeah, and why and always with women and girls, you're
being so brave. It's like, no, you were just fucking uncoordinated.
You fell over your dog.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
It's not bright.

Speaker 4 (07:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (07:30):
You also said something on Drew's show that I loved,
which is you your husband is a tree true?

Speaker 1 (07:36):
What is the word? Not an arborist?

Speaker 6 (07:37):
He's an arborist okay, yeah, and you were talking about
what that means. You know that he gets up in
trim's trees and you know takes care of trees.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
But you said that you've retired him.

Speaker 6 (07:47):
And we both loved that because we were like, thank you,
Like that is exactly right.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
You love that.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yeah, he loves that.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
I absolutely love that he.

Speaker 6 (07:56):
Had Some husband is her husband, And yeah, I've met
him in person. We see each other in Sydney, so
Last and I have had a burgeoning friendship for many years.
We keep running into each other in different parts of
the world and they were nice enough to come to
my show and one of his shows in Sydney.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, right, and he is very handsome and I.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Was really hot.

Speaker 6 (08:14):
I was like, good for you, Like I love this
reverse dynamic, which is sadly to say a reverse dynamic, as.

Speaker 4 (08:20):
We say, absolutely, and he is incredible about that as well.
We have, you know, groups of friends where the couple
the husband is you know, well he's a like a
surfer or a professional surfer, but his wife has been
looking after those children, taking them around the world on
these world tours and stuff.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
But Arpy, even that's my husband's name.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
Arpy even points out that he gets so much more
of an audience as being a stay at home dad
than our friend does with being a stay at home mom.
Like they'll be like, that's so amazing that so hang on,
you do the lunches for the boys every morning.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
That's amazing. And he's like, yeah, a dad, so do
my friends.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Like there's sort of those ladies over there, but there's
just no audience for it.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
And people always say how lucky I am, are you?
I'm lucky to have him.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
I'm like, bitch, I'm flying business class every way and
you're all lucky.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
Yeah, and you're also fucking flying around the world doing
your thing and but busting your ass. Yeah, it is
so funny how imbalanced the like the rewards systems are
for men who stay at home. But I mean, I'm
hoping that will change, even in the face of what
we're dealing with politically, because women are the reason why
this election happened the way it is because of men,

(09:31):
I believe is because men are so threatened anyway by
women's success. And it's like, you can be as threatened
to you as you want. We're still succeeding. There are
too many women that are like paying for their families
and that are the breadwinners. Absolutely, and there are many
women that are single that are doing it, that are
choosing not to have children, and that's a huge threat
to men.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
Yeah, and that's fine, be threatened, but just go over
there and be threatened, Like, get out of the fucking
way and be threatened so we can just keep going.

Speaker 6 (09:55):
Yeah, let's talk about your Also, you came when you
were launching your makeup line.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
Booie Yeah Bowie Boe beauty.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
She has a great makeup line that she just launched
and just launched here in the States as well.

Speaker 6 (10:05):
If you're listening nationally, you're listening listening domestically, if you're
looking ark, if you're listening to this on AM stereo.
That's how my father used to go, say a stereo.
He's like, turn on the stereo. I'm like, where are
you from? Philadelphia?

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Anyway? My favorite product is that eyebrow enhanser.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
Bring back the bush.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Oh yeah, eyebrow bush.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
Yeah, because the nineties fucking stole them.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
The nineties stole them.

Speaker 6 (10:34):
And also once you're dealing, once you hit forty five
or forty, your eyebrows all of a sudden turn into
I don't know what.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
I mean, wispy little same with my fucking hair. What's that.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
It's like all my hair has now started growing out
of my face and my fucking neck and not on
my head, like it's thinning and it's not like feathers.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
I like the idea of neck hair.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
It was like goiter hair. It's and that thing.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
The other day I was standing and I was like, oh,
this is really nice light, and my husband went yet
hang on and walked over and just like went yoink
and pulled it one and out of my neck, and
I was like, and asked the fucking feedback.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
He goes, you needed the feedback before you feel yourself.
Got these long, luscious locks that come out of my neck.

Speaker 6 (11:16):
I know my sister's always goes like this. My sister
Shanna always goes like this. She's always feeling for her
whisker to come in. And I'm like, can you stop
rubbing your beard?

Speaker 3 (11:25):
It's like she stop playing.

Speaker 6 (11:26):
Come to think of it, I just spent the weekend
with her on the East Coast and she wasn't doing that,
So maybe she learned her.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
I was like, you pluck your hairs before you come out.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
She probably got someone to shave her face before you
turned up.

Speaker 6 (11:35):
But you know, no, there the thicker ones, you know,
you know, the black ones, not the little like I
shaved my face all the time.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
I say, I raise her right result, it's a great
X folio.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's so good.

Speaker 4 (11:45):
But then it gets a little bit I actually did
it before I came over here, got a little bit
a little bit of stubble there. Now. I was talking
to a friend the other day and I thought she
just had like a little eyelash here, and I leant
over and went and pull but it was connected and
it's just.

Speaker 3 (11:59):
A long one and I went, oh, that's connected.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
I'm sorry somewhere and it was like really long, and
White said it wasn't there last night here this morning.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
I didn't know was connected.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
The joys of aging as a woman.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
Yeah, you need good friends, but no hair on my eyebrows.
So that's why, Yeah, bring back the bush, got to
draw the bastards back in.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
How long did it take you to develop your brand?
To create it?

Speaker 4 (12:21):
And well, it's been in my head for a long time,
but you know, breaking news ADHD, So I kind.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Of I couldn't. I couldn't get it out of my head.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
I was kind of at a point where I was like,
I'm happy just to go to parties now for the
next five years and be like I've.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
Got a really good idea for a makeup brand and
do fuck all about it.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
And then I met Claire, my business partner, and she
was like, you're a lot and made it happen.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
So I reckon.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
We've been developing for about a year and a half,
two years, getting it all together and then.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Read to get something off the ground.

Speaker 6 (12:49):
I mean, I've tried to develop things in the past
and I've lost interest halfway through.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
This is too long.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
I'm exactly the same way.

Speaker 6 (12:55):
Too long.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
I don't care.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
We launched when I was doing a world tour, which
was great because already I was like, do we really
want to do a makeup brand. They're like, we've sunk
a fur bit of money, Yes, idiot, yes we're gonna
do it.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
I get really bored of stuff as well.

Speaker 6 (13:07):
So and so what was your impetus, Like, what was
your ethos behind the bround?

Speaker 4 (13:11):
Well, I wanted it to be makeup that you just
you can't fuck up because I find, like I said,
I'm forty two, and the only thing kind of in
the makeup space in the beauty space now for women
over the age of six is like anti aging serum
or anti aging cream. Like there's nothing really directly targeted
at us. It's like we just my eleven year old niece.

(13:31):
It's all for her. And I wanted to make it
uncomplicated and nothing that you need to watch a seventy
five minute makeup tutorial to understand. Like, I love makeup.
I have a face for makeup, so I want I
really do which was great when I was younger, right
because at school you know, I look like a slapped ass.

(13:52):
But then for a year twelve formul I rocked up
with makeup people like them, and I was like, yeah,
you're bulling me out to get that's right, I've got
it going on.

Speaker 3 (13:59):
So I fucking love makeup and I wanted to.

Speaker 4 (14:01):
We've started with just five products, and I just use
every single day, all the time to get you out
the door for busy moms. For I heard someone say
the other day that when you're in your forties, like
forty onward, you're moving into your invisible era. Oh I
don't want that, Like, I just feel like I'm getting
more excellent now.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
I remember you.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Saying that one like, you've never been in better shape
in your life, You've never been stronger, more successful.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
And that's exactly how I feel.

Speaker 4 (14:26):
So and it's it's for like Wendy and Wichita who's
listening on the stereo. It's for those girls who come
to my shows all around the world. They're like placeholders
for everyone else in their life who are going, oh,
I've just used the same stuff forever because I don't understand.
I'm like, no, I got you. This is fun, easy
and makes you It's all about like the best version

(14:49):
of you. That's what I'm interested in, the best version
of you, and that's what Boobie does.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, and it's also low maintenance because I'm easy.

Speaker 6 (14:56):
I'm not into you, like I like five products because
if I'm not camera, even for this podcast, you know,
I slap on some blush and some lip balm and
I'm like, let's just hope for the best.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
And I think that's what most of us do when.

Speaker 6 (15:07):
I can't be bothered with all of the shenanigans around
makeup and all of this stuff.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
It's like taking supplements. I don't want to do that either,
you know.

Speaker 6 (15:15):
I'd just rather get a shot a week with everything
in it and he'd done with it.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
I'm exactly the same.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
My kids were given all these supplements a while ago,
and try and get kids fucking tablets. I was like,
you get that at six am, you've got to have
that at five, you know, and all these things. And
I just said to my husband, let's just not give
them anything, and we'll pay for a fucking kidney transplant
or whatever when they're sixteen.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
I'd rather that. I'm not doing this shit.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
How old are your boys now?

Speaker 3 (15:38):
Ten and thirteen.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Do they respect you?

Speaker 3 (15:43):
You just answered your own question.

Speaker 4 (15:46):
No, I'm I'm a lot for them say yes, sure, No,
they don't respect me.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
People love their dad.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Do they think you're funny?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
More and more?

Speaker 4 (15:55):
Now?

Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yoh more, because usually.

Speaker 6 (15:57):
They go through a phase between those ages or around
those ages where they start to think, probably like thirteen
to sixteen more, where they are like, you're not funny,
You're not cool. That's the age of that. Yeah, right,
we'll turn on you. Yeah exactly. They're kind of getting
there a little bit more. My kids don't have social
media and hopefully they never will. They don't have a
game or anything like that. Really, but that's lucky your husband.

(16:20):
I'm really full on about it. I'm really fucking full
on you.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
I just know I don't want to and I have
a really overactive brain and you know, having ADHD low dopamine.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
So this thing just fucks me as it is. I
don't want that for my kids.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
We've just always been really full on about it and
kind of feel like it's easier to say no from
the beginning than give it to them and try and
take it off them, because they become fucking heroinautic monsters.
If you take it from them. So my kids are
the Moor kids. When we go out for dinner with
friends and all the other kids are on their phone,
my kids sit come and sit down and go, I

(16:56):
want to play, you know, make them take cards and
they all the kids end up playing, but we're just quiet.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
You know, it's pronounced, you know.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Just so you know.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
So that's what you guys, like, what game are you
peasants playing in Australia?

Speaker 1 (17:15):
But how do they respect?

Speaker 3 (17:16):
Like, well, their.

Speaker 4 (17:17):
Friends are on social media. So my oldest son came
home a few weeks ago. I was like, mom, my
friends have found you on TikTok And I was like
are you good?

Speaker 1 (17:26):
Are you are right?

Speaker 3 (17:26):
And he goes, it's just weird. I was like, yeah,
you don't need to get it.

Speaker 4 (17:32):
That's okay, but it's what I do and you'll be fine.
And also and then he's like, oh, I don't know,
it just makes me feel weird. I'm like, well, I
kind of know Kevin Hart.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
He's like, oh, yeah, that's better. Like if I say that,
if I drop a name, He's like, it's fine, it's fine.
You just have to play.

Speaker 6 (17:45):
How do you how do you justify you having social
media as a profession and them not even being allowed
to be on it, like.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
I say, it's work, yeah, which which it is for me.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
I'm hoping that we have been so full on about
it that they have almost kind of missed the time
of being.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Obsessed with it.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
It's not like a known thing to them, because that's
what it is, right, It's just fucking habit picking up
your phone. So I'm hoping that that has passed for them.
But look, they'll they have phones and everything, but they
I ask them as well to call me out. Sometimes
if I'm on my phone, I'll get them to say, Mom,
are you working or no? And I'll be like, oh shit,

(18:24):
I'm not. And I'll get rid of my phone because
I just go into a vorte or I just line go,
yeah I'm working, I'm not.

Speaker 6 (18:29):
I keep waiting, like I guess this is kind of
like similar analogous to the Kardashians, Like I kept waiting
for it to end, and it just kept going and going,
like I kept waiting for social media for there to
be like a backlash on social media, Like no more.
Everyone understands how damaging the impact of it is and
what we're going to do. I mean what we should
do as a society, which is like to take a break.
You know, it's like all this misinformation, all this conspiracy

(18:52):
theory bullshit. But that would require like an enlightenment, you know,
through like a global enlightenment, and we're definitely not there.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
No, I think.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
I mean I've been here for a week or so now,
but I think I saw on line that at home
in Australia we're bringing in our pre ministers bringing legislation
that kids under sixteen I'm not allowed to have social media.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Oh yeah, I don't know another reason they moved to Australia.
Another yeah, but don't tell everyone to move to Australia. No,
I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
There's so many places you can go.

Speaker 4 (19:24):
So I think they're looking to bring that in again.
I don't know how you fucking police that.

Speaker 7 (19:27):
But some of the younger people too are like not
using social media nineteen hours a day or nothing.

Speaker 6 (19:33):
Yeah yeah, And I think if you can get past
the window of it being so like I have three
nieces and they're on social media, but they're not.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Addicted to social media. Yeah yeah, like they don't post.

Speaker 6 (19:44):
They post once in a while, you know what, I mean,
and I like that cadence more.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
Yeah, they don't post much, this is the thing, and
they don't kind of post much.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
The kids.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
I've noticed the young'uns, like the teens, early early twenties
kind of that they're not posters. It's like the twenty
year olds that post. And so those young ones are
watching their stuff. My stepdaughters are twenty five and twenty three,
and the twenty three ye old doesn't post. She might
post once every six weeks because she went out to

(20:14):
a party or something. But they're not active on it,
which I don't know if I love, because just being
passive on it and watching it and just infiltrating everything
you do, I think that can be a bit more
dangerous and actively partaking in it.

Speaker 6 (20:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
Do you have one of those limits on your phone
where you like but ignore? Yeah, ignoring.

Speaker 6 (20:31):
My friend is like, you can put a limit, and
I was like, you can you tell me we could
fucking ignore the limit.

Speaker 4 (20:36):
The limit comes up, it says fifteen minute limit, and
then the biggest, brightest blue button under it says ignore.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
You go ignore. It's just easier.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
How was your tour this summer? After I left you?
After I saw you was it.

Speaker 4 (20:48):
The Yeah, I saw you after my tour I was
in I was here May June.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Fucking great, but you did it fucking great.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
Do you love being on tour?

Speaker 3 (20:58):
I love it?

Speaker 1 (20:59):
What are you?

Speaker 4 (21:00):
I'm getting better at it as well because I try
so many different ways of doing having kids right and
living in Australia, having touring over here.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
I can't just do weekends.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
I'd love to do Thursday, Friday, Saturday or like you
know how you do it, but I can't, and we're
not moving over here, so I just have to why
is it not an amazing reason to move here? Have
I missed something I can help? Terrifying? So yeah, I
just kind of come over and bang it out over

(21:31):
six weeks when I'm in America. But so when I
go home to Australia, I do try and do the Thursday, Friday,
Saturdays and come home and I love it.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
I love life performance.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
I know, I know, and it's also nice.

Speaker 6 (21:41):
And it's also nice that cadence, because you could, you know,
you work on the weekends, you come home, you recover
one day, it takes a day or two and recover
from the travel and whatever you got up to, and
then you go back out.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
It's kind of like the perfect schedule.

Speaker 4 (21:55):
Yeah, I just wish I could do that over here
or make the same money I make over here home, right,
But you know no, but I love it.

Speaker 6 (22:02):
Okay, on that we're going to take a break and
we'll be right back with Celeste barbera And we're back.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
With Celeste barber.

Speaker 6 (22:13):
She's our very special guest all the way from the
Gold Coast.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Right, that's where you.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Live, kind of south of the Gold Coast.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
I'm still unclear about it.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
I like that though. I like people being unclear. That's
fine with me. It's fine with me. I saw someone actually.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
When I was home. I was in a shop in
Sydney and she was like, what are you doing? No, actually,
I was in a shop near where I live.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
She goes, what are you doing here? And I went, oh,
I live around the err and she went no, you.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
Don't what She goes, no, you don't you live in
la And I went, all right, I'm just visiting.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
I've just come here to visit. Like, sure, let's go
with that.

Speaker 6 (22:46):
That reminds me of this book I read once, Rebecca Solnet.
It was called Late in the Dark or Phoning Late
in the dark or something. Anyway, it was very profound
book about being a woman. But she it starts out
with this chapter about and this is different because it's
a male and female dynamic, but she wrote she starts
out with this chapter talking about how she was at
a dinner party and this man came up to her

(23:08):
and was telling her about her own book, quoting her book,
saying like, you should really read this book. It just
came up Mauchur in conversation. She's like, I actually I
wrote that book. And he was like, no, you did it.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
She's like, yes, I wrote that book that you're telling me.

Speaker 6 (23:25):
That the one that you're man explaining to me about
I fucking wrote.

Speaker 4 (23:29):
When you're telling me the plotline about yeah, I wrote that. Also,
do you find this one? People will probably not with you,
but in the street when they go, oh, hi, I
get this.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
A lot of people like why do I know you?

Speaker 1 (23:40):
I find that to be the most annoying question.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
I'm like well, and they go, did you go to
so and so school? And I'm like, don't do this, please,
it's not how you know. She goes, No, hang on
a minute. Now, you're a few years ahead of me.
And I'm like, this is going how I fucking hoped
it to go for you. But then someone goes, no,
oh no, that's right. You're working that cafe down the
road from me. I was like, yep, I do.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
And I'm just taking the summer off, see ya. People
tell you how they know you be like, no, don't
do this to it.

Speaker 6 (24:09):
Last weekend, I was in New York City and I
got in the elevator with this couple. As I was
walking into my hotel, I could see that she was
like ogling me and you know, probably recognize me. So
we get in the elevator and and she and her
husband are both like staring at me. I'm on my phone,
actively pretending to be on my phone, you know, like,
please don't interact. I'm not in the mood for this
kind of interaction. I can already tell you're gonna be annoying,

(24:29):
you know. And she goes, she goes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
We're from Toronto. And that was it, and I went
what And she goes, we're from Toronto. How do we
know you?

Speaker 4 (24:43):
If?

Speaker 6 (24:43):
Like, you have to understand when you say something like that,
what am I supposed to do next?

Speaker 3 (24:48):
East My credits exactly, Well, you.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
May know me from.

Speaker 4 (24:53):
Me on the Drew.

Speaker 6 (24:54):
Barrymore Show, and like, are you freaking kidding me? Like
it's so stupid, like and she goes, it's just killing
I go, it's not killing you.

Speaker 3 (25:01):
You just walked inside from the lobby into.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
The elevator three minutes. Nothing is killing you about the situation.
You could have easily ignored it and just never figured
out who I was.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Well, mate it up.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
But now I'm just like, I'm Chelsea Hammler and that's it.

Speaker 6 (25:15):
That's all you get, and you figure it out from
there if you're not familiar.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
And was She like, no, you Chelse, you are.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
She's like Elizabeth Banks.

Speaker 6 (25:25):
Okay, we're going to take some callers and questions and
we're going to give real life advice.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
This is what we do here.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
So I have the fucking will. Let's go.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, absolutely, let's get the party started.

Speaker 7 (25:35):
Well, Heather writes in and she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm
an avid listener and a longtime fan, and I can't
wait to see you in Vegas. Thinking of going for
my future ex husband's birthday. Oh I love it, love
that I've been married for almost twenty years, and we
have two children adopted from foster care. A few months ago,
I was out of town with the kids and he
welcomed an online hooker into our home, and when he

(25:56):
passed out drunk, she stole my jewelry and makeup. He
proceeded to blame the kids for stealing it, lied about
it for days until I found the deleted text on
his phone. I knew, damn well a woman stole the
things because it was so precisely done. I should thank
her for the evidence. He wants to quote fix things,
but I am not down for that. We've had many
prior conversations regarding infidelity and my firm stance of not

(26:18):
tolerating it, so needless to say, I am done. Our
immediate family and close friends know what's going on. My
kids and I are in therapy. So my question is this,
how do I tell others, mutual friends, coworkers, my longtime patience,
I'm a physical therapist when they say how's the family
or how are you? And I'm not sure what to say.
The honest answer feels too raw for some people, but

(26:40):
acting like nothing is wrong feels ick. Also, what's the
middle ground? Thanks for your advice. Heather, Oh I have
I know.

Speaker 6 (26:48):
I know well, first of all, you don't owe anyone
no explanation. I understand that I desire to want to
be truthful and transparent when you're going through something, because
it's like when someone says how are you and you're
about to break down and you're like, I'm good. You know,
I understand what the desire and you have, and you
have every rate to also be transparent to the degree
that you're comfortable with. So you can easily just say
we're actually gonna separate. You know, we're separating without giving them.

(27:13):
Your doctor's not going to be like, what happened. You
don't have to say I caught him with an online
hooker who stole my jewelry.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Although that's gonna be a good story later down the road.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
See, I would I would say that that is my advice.
I not write into me, but she's really that would
be my advice. Heather has taken too much time looking
after other people. I think she should say to a gynecologist,
I'm happy you ask.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
He's a piece of ship.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
Where in Vegas he gets some hooker, she steals my shit.
She he blames the kids that now I'm here, I
would just say it outright.

Speaker 6 (27:45):
That's also an option, also an option. There's really there's
really no losing way to deal with this situation.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
Don'torry about how the people feel about it.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah, and I wouldn't help people, So I agree.

Speaker 6 (27:55):
When you're going through some sort of like maelstrom of
emotion like that, and you're dealing with breaking the break
of your marriage, like the last thing you have to
worry about is how other people are viewing you.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
Who gives a shit?

Speaker 6 (28:05):
And like, yeah, take this as a new license in life,
like our new Lisa on life, Like you're moving forward
and this is your attitude.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
Fuck off, yeah, fuck off?

Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, all right, Heather, there you have it.

Speaker 7 (28:16):
Well, our next question comes from Amanda, and she's gonna
be joining us here, Brad, we have Amanda, right.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
She comes out from the kitchen.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Amanda's welcome, Amanda, Delly, Dear Chelsea.

Speaker 7 (28:28):
My name is Amanda, and I'm currently in my thirteenth
year in public education. While I'm financially stable, i am
unequivocally unhappy. In an effort to change up my routine
and job role, I've transitioned from classroom teacher to instructional
coach and back again a couple of times, but to
no avail. Despite the knowledge that I'm doing important work,
I've lost my passion. I feel as though I'm at
a personal crossroads and need your guidance. Since I was young,

(28:51):
I've always wanted to be a writer. I dabbled in
music journalism in college and have done some freelance work.
Though I haven't been published in quite a while and
my writing is basically confined to journaling, I can't shake
the feeling that now would be a great time to
reignite that passion and challenge myself to completely shift my
career trajectory. At almost forty one years old, with a
wealth of education and life experience, it seems like there's

(29:12):
no time like the present. I can't found them taking
a pay cut, especially being a single woman living in
San Diego, the alone, walking away from the only constant
in my life for the past thirteen years.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
So where do I begin.

Speaker 7 (29:23):
I'm trying to get back to structured writing time, connect
with friends who are already successful in the industry, and
even have the opportunity to reconnect with a former writing coach.
I guess I'm just hoping for some insight from someone
who I admire and respect. How do you hold yourself
accountable and practice the self discipline needed to be a
success in this field? How do I pursue this avenue
that lacks job security? My next steps feel murky, and

(29:44):
for the first time in my life, I'm scared to
take the leap Amanda.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Hi Abdi Hi.

Speaker 6 (29:50):
First of all, it sounds like you're doing all of
the things that you need to be doing to get
the party started.

Speaker 8 (29:55):
Yes, And since I've written in I've essentially given myself
permission to exit this profession. I started to realize how
emotionally drained I've been at the end of every workday,
left no room to try to focus on this like
creative endeavor. So I've been very aggressively looking for new

(30:15):
work that will just pay the bills, but let me
focus on, you know, my personal hobbies and where I'd
like to kind of go professionally.

Speaker 6 (30:25):
Yeah, like, under the assumption that the writing isn't going
to pay dividends right away, right, you need something to
like tide you over while you're exploring.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
The writing, right exactly, So do you know what that's
going to be or you is that one of your questions.

Speaker 8 (30:38):
Well, that's just kind of still I've actually been working
with a job coach to like update my resume and
because for jobs is so different than it was thirteen
years ago that I've had to do a lot of
kind of work on that end to get the applications
out there. So that's what I'm just trying to be
really focused on doing so I can get to a
better place where I'm not so miserable going to work

(31:00):
every day.

Speaker 6 (31:01):
Absolutely, that's not going to give you any energy to
be creative.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Right exactly.

Speaker 8 (31:06):
So now it's just kind of like continuing to put
that out there and just starting to like build in
some structured writing time. I guess like my big questions
are kind of like how to hold yourself accountable for
something that's like seemingly done in isolation.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Well easily.

Speaker 6 (31:23):
I mean it's kind of like everything you do in isolation,
like whether you meditate, whether you like do your positive affirmations,
whether you like I do all of those things. I
exercise alone mostly I have a trainer, but that kind
of feels like I'm alone anyway because of his personality.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
But I I do.

Speaker 6 (31:41):
With writing, I'm I don't really I'm not a big
person about structure, Like I kind of like let the
when I'm feeling motivated or inspired, like you know, when
I read something really great that makes me want to
write something, you know, so my creative, my creativity, I
should say.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
And bursts. It's very unstructured.

Speaker 6 (32:03):
I have a new book and that took like three
years because I started one place, I changed it many times.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
But I think for someone.

Speaker 6 (32:09):
Who craves structure, and Celeste obviously chime in whenever you
feel like because she's a creative too. I didn't even
introduce our special guest, Celest Barbera. I'm sorry, but I
would just schedule yourself, Like if you sit down for
even if it's thirty minutes a day, it sounds like
you're going to be wanting to even write more than that.
You're going to be wanting to write for an hour,
a couple of hours a day once you start doing
that daily, like you where you put your phone away,

(32:31):
you put your stuff away, and you just sit at
your desk or whatever place that gives you the most
inspiration in a structured way. Really put yourself in there,
set your alarm somewhere, you know, in the house for
two hours later and sit there and like the act
of creativity begets the act of creativity absolutely once you
start writing, like whatever, Like if I have to write

(32:52):
a new hour for stand up, you know, whenever I
film a special, whenever we film a special, you have
to write another new hour of material. Like whenever I
have to write new material, I'm like, ughugh, you know,
it's like a hurdle.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
It's what am I going to write about? What am
I going to talk about?

Speaker 4 (33:04):
Absolutely, And I'm the same with you my creativity. And
like when I wrote my book again, it came in bursts,
so you know, it'll be dinner time and I'd be like, oh,
so I'd sit at the kitchen bench while my husband
did everything, and I'd be like, I've got it.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
It just kind of came.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
But then for my last hour for my new tour
that I'm doing, I did exactly what you're saying.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
I just set a timer. I literally set a timer.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
I took the kids to school, set a time for
three hours in my office and was like, I'm not
moving from here. It doesn't matter kind of what you're writing.
But then you find with that structure and being a
creative that even after it could be after ten minutes,
after an hour and a half, you're like, oh no,
there's real flow here.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
You just have to make yourself do it.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (33:49):
Yeah, And allotting a certain amount of time is a
very good way. It really helps you to just kind
of you get in the habit of it, because then
before you know it, you're spending more time doing it.
I'm always writing in my note section two, like little
ideas for things, or this could be a good joke,
or this is a good punchline or whatever. You know,
those will happen throughout the day, you know, and the
more honed in you get on creativity, the more creative

(34:12):
you become. So I think everything that you've said you've done.
It's like most people haven't done all those things. So
you're already like more than halfway there, and I think
what follows is going to be just a very natural
progression for you.

Speaker 8 (34:27):
Okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Are you already doing that?

Speaker 8 (34:31):
I am No, I'm in terms of the creative writing,
I'm not there yet.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
What do you want to write about right now?

Speaker 8 (34:38):
I'm kind of looking more like on the novel side,
kind of just like leaning from some personal life experience,
but writing trying to fictionalize it a little bit more,
and I think part of the hesitance with that is
sometimes I have to go to like really painful, dark
places to get that out. And while I know the

(35:01):
end product is catharsis, when it comes to just like
getting it out there, I think sometimes when I'm like
I have to go there, I kind of like try
to keep it out in arm's length and almost avoid well.

Speaker 6 (35:14):
I would I could speak from experience that you want
to get as close to all of that stuff as
possible because that's where all of your you know, your
your personal stories.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
I mean, you can't lose with that stuff.

Speaker 6 (35:25):
And while you might think it's going to be scary
or something hard to difficult emotions to face, once you
face those emotions, you realize how much you overestimated your
own security. Now, Like when you're looking back at something
you can you can be fearful of it, and then
once you face it, you realize you have nothing on me.
And it's quite cathartic to write about the pain that

(35:46):
we experience in our lives.

Speaker 4 (35:48):
And I find as well, the thought of writing about it,
or the thought of dealing with it in a creative
sense is always much more terrifying and daunting than actually
doing it in my experience.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Because it's cathasis.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
As you say, the idea of sitting down and having
to dive into something is too big, and so you
avoid it. But once you're in it, it can be
very fulfilling. I'd also say, do the easy chapters first,
Do the fun, light stuff first, do even just start
that structure idea of setting an alarm, and write the

(36:23):
nice fun stuff, just to get yourself into that routine
and into that discipline before you have to go deep.

Speaker 8 (36:30):
Absolutely, thank you.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
How would you approach.

Speaker 8 (36:33):
You know, like, obviously I'm thinking much longer turn, like
long run at this point, self publishing, reaching out to publishers.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
What might that process look like? I think that this
whole media world is so different.

Speaker 6 (36:46):
Everything is changing so fast, everything is online, Everything is
about striking a chord. It doesn't like these old world publishers, Like, yeah,
they can be an advantage in many respects, but also
people are self publishing all the time and the most
important thing to do is like to get a dialogue
going with people. So like to think about social media
as a useful way for you to see out your

(37:07):
career strategy right to use that, to use these platforms
to you know, whether you're writing little snippets every day
of like motivational things for people or funny little like
snippets of like, you know, a couple of lines of
a funny story or an experience that happened to you
at the grocery store, something that can relate to other
people and get them interested in what you're giving them,
you know. And then you're building an audience and you're

(37:30):
building like a fan base almost you know, of relayability,
so that that kind of gives you more of an
avenue if and when you do decide to self publish.
But in terms of reaching out for publishers, you just
kind of have to knock on doors and try to
get yourself a literary agent.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
I don't think that's the only way to do that anymore.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
I agree with social media absolutely.

Speaker 4 (37:50):
There's an audience for everything now, an audience for everything
and anything now, and yeah, kind of tasing it out
then you get people will follow. So we're like, oh,
actually that resonates with me, and they follow along and
they want to know more. And yeah, then you build
an audience and you don't always have to do it
the traditional why anymore of going to a publisher.

Speaker 6 (38:09):
And you always have to know that there is an
audience when you're talking about your point of view about something,
There's always an audience, you know, Like, don't underestimate the
value of that, because if you're sharing your personal life,
there are always going to be other women, whether they're
in the same area as you or in the same
age group as you. Like somebody I think of as
Kaitlyn Murray. Do you know Kitlyn Murray? She talks about

(38:30):
just what a pain in the ascid is having children
while she still loves her children, and she's developed this
huge following which led to a book, which led to
she has her own podcast. Now you have to figure out,
like what your currency is, right, Big Time Adulting is
her Instagram And this woman is really fun and has

(38:50):
three children and it's just like, you know what they
never told you about parenting. You know what they never
said is that when you drop your fucking kids off,
you just want to sit in your car and smoke
a joy for three hours, you know, like, and how
on camptor life is. But she's a great example of
finding that niche that is going to register with other
people and resonate with other people and then building from there.
And if you're talking about writing fiction, you know, maybe

(39:13):
there's cute little like stories you can tell about your
daily activities or interactions that you've had with people. Just
really start to think about, like what kind of messages
are you trying to send out? You know, what is
your kind of hook to get people? And it might
take a while, but you'll be surprised at how easily
you can grow something when you're sharing parts of yourself

(39:34):
with other people, because everyone kind of wants that, you know,
people want to hear other people's stories. They want to
hear other people's trials and tribulations.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
And it takes a lot of work. Don't be disheartened
by that. Don't think, oh, this is.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
Really really hard. I probably shouldn't be.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
It's it's really fucking hard, I think to have self discipline,
especially you know, as a woman going you don't have
to ask permission to start an Instagram account to stop
putting these quotes up like Chelsea sang or to start
reaching out. It takes a lot of work.

Speaker 6 (40:07):
And you can also even have an Instagram post where
you're where you post a video saying, Hey, I'm somebody
who's recent, you know, newly career free. I'm looking to
develop a career in writing. I'm looking to develop a
career in fiction writing. If anyone out there wants to
join like a group with me, you know, where you
can talk to other writers, Like, really put yourself out there,

(40:28):
because you'll be surprised at how responsive people will be
in your community and how many other people may be
like minded or may know somebody who's like, oh, I
can hook you up with this person.

Speaker 4 (40:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (40:39):
I love that too, because I feel like having like
accountability partners is super important for me. Otherwise I'm like, oh,
I got this and then you know, three years later
and draft one and still in motion.

Speaker 6 (40:50):
Yeah, but definitely sit down and give yourself that a
lot of time. Whatever is doable and manageable for you.
Make sure you do that every day for at least
five days a week for the next month, and I
promise you by the end of the month you'll be
spending more than you're allotted time doing it.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
Perfect And also good for you for quitting a job that's.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Not absolutely amazing.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
Absolutely that's massive.

Speaker 8 (41:10):
Yeah, it's I mean, we don't need to go there,
but I'm scared to see what's going to happen in
education in the next four years.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Anyway, So I don't blame you.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
What's happened happened.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
Nothing happens here. She's from Australia, so she doesn't watch
the news. She doesn't know what's happened.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
It hasn't been all over the Australian news that what's.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Going on Australia is so too far away to know
about America.

Speaker 7 (41:29):
Wait for you to stay there, all right, Thank you
so much, Amanda check in with us.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Okay, Well, thank you all so much.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
I appreciate your time today.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Bye, Manda, good luck with everything.

Speaker 8 (41:39):
Thank you.

Speaker 7 (41:40):
I will also send this to her. But book talk
I have heard has been very helpful for a lot
of authors. Book okay on TikTok, the books area on TikTok.
I get all my recommendations from there. I know a
couple authors who are like, this is the way I've
gotten myself published novel out there.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
And they post about all kinds of stuff.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
A lot of people self published now.

Speaker 7 (42:00):
So yeah, yeah, so well. Our next caller is Sarah.
She says, Dear Chelsea, my brother proposed to his longtime
girlfriend over the summer and asked our parents to help
fund the wedding. Pretty normal stuff, but I found out
there's some tension about money, the wedding location, other details.
Not super fun, but I guess that's typical for a
wedding where everyone's a decision maker. A while back, my

(42:21):
brother's fiance called to let me know that they've decided
to keep the wedding parties small, just two people on
each side, and they wanted to make sure I was
okay with not being part of the bridal party. Her
sister and best friends are the two bridesmaids. I was
honestly fine with it, and I wasn't expecting to be included.
They even asked me to be the witness when they
signed the documents, so I felt I left the call
feeling totally okay. Fast forward a couple of weeks and

(42:44):
my brother's fiance calls me stressed out. Apparently my dad
has been sharing his opinion that it's incredibly hurtful and
mean that I'm not in the bridal party.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
He's even told her.

Speaker 7 (42:53):
That even though I've said I'm fine, I'm just being
nice and would never reveal how I really feel. My
dad claimed he only shared his thoughts with my brother,
but my brother's fiance showed me his texts and they
tell a different story. I get where both sides are
coming from. Weddings don't look like they did in the eighties,
but I don't agree with how my dad is handling it.
I've been staying out of it, but we're still a

(43:13):
year out from the wedding, and this bridal party drama
is creating unnecessary tension around an event that's supposed to
be joyful. Should I step in or stay out of it?

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Sarah?

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Hi, Sarah?

Speaker 9 (43:24):
Hello, how's it going?

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (43:26):
This is our special guest, the last barber today.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
Hi, Sarah, how are you good?

Speaker 1 (43:31):
You look sweet?

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Very sweet.

Speaker 4 (43:33):
First of all, weddings aren't fun. I'll just say that
up front someone who has had one. My wedding was
the best. Everyone says that about their wedding. But I
think you're right in not being a part of the
bridal party. Being a part of the bridal party is an.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Absolute, solute pain in the ass.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Pain in the ass. It's a nightmare.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
So I think you've made an excellent decision, especially now
that you're still a year out from this wedding and
already the bridal party's being picked. This seems like a
little bit of a high mind and it's wedding. I
think you've done a very good job of staying out
of it.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
Well, it's not her choice to stay out of it.
They've kind of just basically decided that she was going
to stay.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
But I'm not having the shits about it not going.
But I want, but I want.

Speaker 4 (44:10):
I think it's very good to be like, right, I
can actually wear what I want and get you know,
black out drunk and downing and what.

Speaker 6 (44:16):
How do you actually feel about not being in the
wedding party?

Speaker 9 (44:20):
I mean, I'm honestly pretty indifferent. I don't think I
really expected it. It's not like it's not something that
I just like I am aware of as it being
a tradition, Like I know that, like I have some
family who like will do that and like they'll have
like a much larger bridal party. But so many people
I know are just doing things so differently that my
expectations were so low, if non existent.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
So well, that's very healthy attitude, Like I.

Speaker 9 (44:42):
Mean, okay, I mean I think if it was like, yeah,
I'm going to have eight people and like, this girl
I just met yesterday is also part of my bridal party,
but I just can't include you. Then i'd be a
little concerned. But I'm not her sister or her friend
that's you know, known her whole life, so I don't
really kind of expect to be in that.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Right to minimum.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
So no, I think you're absolutely right on the money.
I like, I don't.

Speaker 6 (45:03):
I don't like any drama like regarding stuff like this.
It's so stupid, you know, like, let people do what
they want to do. But what did your dad write
in the text that you saw to her?

Speaker 9 (45:12):
Oh my god, I don't even I don't even remember,
but oh my head, it was it was just very like,
you're just being very mean. We really don't like this,
we really don't like the way that it's setting the
tone for the future. That it was just like a
long kind of paragraph. And he was like, you know,
very insistent on like, no, I'm just trying to do
this with my brother. He's just I'm just trying to
communicate with my brother. I'm not trying to like involve

(45:33):
anyone else. But I'm like, but you literally said a
text to her as a physical why's.

Speaker 3 (45:39):
That's got opinions.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Wow, that's got big feelings.

Speaker 9 (45:43):
I was just kind of like surprised at the intensity.
It's one thing to be like, oh, well, like for me, know,
my my you know, nephew's wedding, his wife had my
you know, cousin as part of the ronadal party. But
like that's maybe one example, maybe just a few examples,
and you can't just kind of rely on just a
few examples as the norm and so out.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
Yeah, But also your dad just should also chill out.

Speaker 6 (46:03):
He's already nosy, Nelly, you should And you've talked to
your father about this, right.

Speaker 9 (46:08):
I mean a little bit. I mean like he tried
to get you know, I kind of really just try
to stay out of it and really just try to
kind of like not respond for a while because I
was just like, I don't want to deal with this.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
It sounds like your dad wants to be a bridesmaid.
That's what it sounds like. It sounds like your dad's
past it has on a bridesmaid. Is it is your dad?

Speaker 4 (46:25):
Just is your dad upset just the fact that you
have it been asked to be a bride'smide or is
the other things to do with the wedding that he's
also not stoked about.

Speaker 9 (46:33):
I mean, there's probably other things too, so it's probably
just layered on top of it, like part of it's
a destination wedding, you know, there's a lot of money involved,
there's who gets invited, all that stuff, and so there's
I'm sure a plethora of other things.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
Well.

Speaker 6 (46:47):
A good way to nip it in the bud permanently
would be to send them a text, your father and
your brother and his fiance a thread and be like, hey, guys,
I noticed there's been some dissension about my involvement in
the wedding and the wedding party, and I just want
you to hear it straight from me. I am completely indifferent,
like what you just said to being in your wedding party.

(47:07):
There are no issues for me, so I wanted to
make that clear you, my future sister in law, my brother,
and my father, who are all on this chain, This
is not an issue for me, because then what does
your father have to say. Then he has to complain
about what he's really upset about, which is paying for
this destination wedding.

Speaker 4 (47:23):
Exactly, and then he'll respond by just going Dad, lift
the chat.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah, that's a good idea.

Speaker 9 (47:32):
It hasn't really been brought up lately, but you know,
there's many months out. I'm sure he'll get brought up again,
and so I feel kind of confident in.

Speaker 6 (47:38):
Yeah, but I think your attitude is right on the money, Like,
don't get involved in wedding drama. Wedding drama is the
most annoying drama, especially destination wedding drama.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
And I offer this one day.

Speaker 6 (47:48):
You know, like I understand weddings are important to people,
but it's like, just relax. It's so uncool when people
get like they're panties in a twist about it.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
It should be a celebration, not yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
It's a big party with an open bar, Like just if.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
You're lucky it has an open bar.

Speaker 6 (48:03):
I had a couple of people that invited me to weddings.
It didn't have an open a bar. And because he
didn't go to that wedding.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
You didn't go to that wedding, you didn't bring party.

Speaker 4 (48:10):
Fa.

Speaker 6 (48:10):
No, sometimes I bring my own bar if I have to.
My cousin had a wedding, he's like, we're just doing
beer and wine. I'm like, that will be my gift
to you is the bar, because if you're going to
have a wedding like that, I won't be there unless
there's a bar.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
And you don't want people having beer and wine. Where
does that get you?

Speaker 6 (48:24):
Missy fucking sick of wine anyway, sick of people talking
about wine anyway.

Speaker 7 (48:29):
So do you think she needs to, like specifically talk
to her sister in law.

Speaker 6 (48:33):
I'll be like, no, you're not involved in this, Like
if you want to, but I would just send a
text to all three of them so that in.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
Writing they can't keep talking about it.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
You know this was not sent under duress.

Speaker 6 (48:46):
Yeah, I don't know where this conversation came from, but
I just want everyone to know where I'm coming from
so that there's no confusion. I'm totally fine with this.
I'm happy you guys are getting married. I can't wait
to go to the wedding.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
See you there, dad.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
I have a die off.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Needs to thank you, okay, take care, Thank you so much.
She seemed like such an innocent.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
She's like, I don't care. I'm so fine with it.

Speaker 6 (49:11):
It's almost like you know some which she was giving
all the reasons like, well, you know, cousins sometimes put
there and it's like, who told you that, like.

Speaker 3 (49:17):
Only coached a bullet.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Being a bridesmaid is a pain in the ass.

Speaker 7 (49:22):
I know someone who had I think sixteen bridesmaids because
she didn't want to leave anybody else.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
I don't have that many friends. I don't know sixteen people.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
In my stupids years of being alive, I have not
had sixteen friends over that time.

Speaker 7 (49:35):
That's ridiculous, ridiculous. No, it was crazy, crazy crazy. Okay, well,
let's take a quick break and we'll be back to
wrap up with a little light one.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Okay, we're going to take a break.

Speaker 7 (49:49):
We're back now, we are back, so Caroline writes, and
this specifically, I would love for a celest to weigh
in on. Of course you Chelsea too, but thank you
for this might be the last question. It is the list,
Dear celast I've been with my husband for seventeen years,
and he's always always had a strong body odor. The
last few years, though, it seems that it has gotten stronger.
He's given up using standard aluminum based deodorant and only

(50:12):
uses natural brands. I've run the gamut trying to help
him find a good deodorant that covers his smell, but
it just doesn't cut it. He has great hygiene, he
showers once to twice daily, but he still stinks. He's
also very sensitive and embarrassed about his bio, and I
have to try lightly when asking him nicely to change
his shirt, put on deodorant.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Et cetera.

Speaker 7 (50:31):
I think it may be related to stress or diet,
or maybe it's just his genetic makeup. Regardless, it's hard
for me to hug him or be intimate without wanting
to hold my breath.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
It's that bad.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
WHOA please help?

Speaker 7 (50:43):
How can I get his stinky ass smelling batter caroline?

Speaker 3 (50:46):
Absolute red flag?

Speaker 4 (50:48):
If hey, it's natural deodorant, I would My husband went
through a phase where he's like, I want to just
use natural deodorant. I was like, well, then you can
go in find a nice, pretty new wife. Is absolutely
not and he doesn't have any bodiod issues. Yeah, delicious,
but that is an absolute deal breaker for me. I
find it has he I wonder if he's been to

(51:10):
the doctor. Is this something where I can get like
botox shots?

Speaker 6 (51:15):
Well not only that, but yeah, botox shots you can
get under your arm, FYI to stop sweating. But if
he has a natural like a strong odor than like that.
It usually does have something to do with your pH
balance or your diet. So like he should go to
a doctor, and he should be proactive about this because
you're his wife and you've been married to him for
what seventeen years, So that's like yeah, and I don't

(51:37):
care if he's sensitive about it. Like you need to
figure out a solution to this problem that you're having
to endure because your husband hasn't figured it out yet,
and going to a non aluminum based deoderan is not the.

Speaker 3 (51:50):
He's going to a studio apartment down the street. There's
no way. And if he's getting to a point where.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
You can't hug him because he's it's so gross, he
needs to get that out.

Speaker 6 (52:00):
I can't believe you've endured seventeen years though, of someone
with bodyodor. I once stated a guy who had body odor,
and I had it wasn't It wasn't body odor. There
was like a smell that emanated from him, and it
was it was very strong in the morning, and it
was like it was almost like his he had a scent.
Like sometimes your pheromones don't match, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
That's a thing absolutely.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
Well it's a little late to find out for her
because it's been seventeen years.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
I don't know if it's a pheromones thing.

Speaker 6 (52:27):
I mean. Also, get in the clothes, spin and close
your nose with it so that you do not have
to breathe in his malodorous scent.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Get one of those necklaces for essential oils.

Speaker 7 (52:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yeah, you're gonna have to start experiing.

Speaker 6 (52:38):
But you need to go to a doctor and talk
to somebody openly about him.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
I don't care if he's sensitive. He needs to get
over that.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Get it sorted out.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
It's your wife.

Speaker 6 (52:45):
Yeah, okay, okay, Well on that note, good luck, Okay,
good luck.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Problem solved. Celeste.

Speaker 6 (52:51):
Thank you for being here. You guys, she's a very
successful comedian author. You've written a book. Webside of the
name of your book.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Challenge accepted.

Speaker 6 (52:58):
Challenge accepted, and you can also please look into her
beauty brand spelled b o o i e bouie beauty.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Is it booe beauty dot com.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
It's booye dot com boo booeye.

Speaker 6 (53:11):
Dot com, not to be confused with the other kind
of booie booe.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Thank you, Celeste, Thanks for having me. I always love
to see you.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
I love to see you. Do Do Do Do Do Do.

Speaker 6 (53:22):
Drum roll Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
Abroad is my European tour.

Speaker 6 (53:29):
So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
need to get the help out of this fucking country
and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to
the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
In May and June.

Speaker 6 (53:49):
I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
New Zurich, Vienna.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
I've never ever.

Speaker 6 (53:58):
Been to Vienna, for in Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming
abroad is abroad.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
That sounds like fun.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
I'm gonna go see you abroad.

Speaker 9 (54:08):
I w out.

Speaker 5 (54:08):
I want to go see me abroad and there all
be there all be Upcoming Vegas dates March twenty first,
April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one.

Speaker 6 (54:19):
And twenty ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

Speaker 7 (54:22):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com