Two Primary Suites with Mandy Moore

Chelsea is joined this week by Mandy Moore to talk about listening to her body and taking breaks, discovering a painful family secret, and touring while pregnant - and toting a toddler.  Then: A mom of 4 is forced to move back in with her ex.  A filmmaker has lost all passion for her career.  And Mandy is curious about finding more moments of joy.  

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Nick Stumpf

Produced by Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. I have been a home health
care worker for the last two weeks. I want everyone
to know that I have been in San Francisco with
my older sister Simone, caring for her, attending to her
bed sores. No, she does have any bed source, but
I'm hoping to give her some. You've got to roll
her over, she had. I have to roll her over
every morning after she gets off of me. She had

(00:24):
back surgery. So my other sissy, Bomber Shoshana, who's a
registered nurse and has an idea about how to take
care of people, actually went there for the first two weeks,
and then I took the last two weeks. And I
have been in San Francisco and I am and my
sister is recuperating, and I'm basically taking my medical practice.
I'm a farm to table guynecologist, is what we've finally discovered.

(00:47):
She's like, why do I need a pap swhere every
single morning? And I'm like, because I'm a doctor and
you love like a little bit of torture. And she's like,
how many more fucking deliveries are you going to get
at my house? She doesn't talk like that. I that's
not fair. I'm the one who says fucking all the time.
But I had delivered weights, bigs, small weights, pilates, matt

(01:07):
a pilates ring, a kettle bell, and three pillows, all
the very heavy things and one light thing. My sister
is like, you are so fucking high maintenance. I'm like, what,
this is not news to anyone, And she's like, no,
I know it's not. She's like, I'm actually surprised you're
staying here and you didn't order your own fucking bed.

(01:27):
I was like, believe me, I thought about it. I mean,
you're just gonna have the comforts of home, kettle bells
and pillow. And I got to surprise her with my
big brother Roy We. I flew him in as a
surprise so he could cook for her because we love
his cooking. And so he's been with me while he
was here for a few days with me and Simone,
and so she was so happy she cried when she
saw him. And he's still he's in Southeast Asia somewhere right.

(01:50):
He's actually Asian now, he has con completely to Asian.
He's transitioned. Yes, he's he's in New Jersey in Noueva,
Jersey and he is working there. He's waiting for his
Filipino wife to come there and married. He's waiting for
her paperwork to go through so that she could move
to New Jersey with him. She he's actually living with

(02:10):
my sister right now, my other sister, Shoshana. We have
a very very incestuous family. I mean, that's great, though.
Do you guys all like each other enough to stay
together live together? Yeah, we do like each other. So
that's nice, and that is a gift. I should say
that's that should be part of my list every morning.
I'm grateful for the fact that my family and I
get along. I mean that's huge. So many people right

(02:33):
in and they're like, I just wish I could have
what Chelsea has with her siblings because you're so close.
And oh, I also met your sister in law, which
I was confused because I was like, oh, is that
Brad's brother? And then I was like, sisters in law
can mean two different things. But she was sweet and
she came with her friend Julie. I think she had
mentioned that we had mentioned her on the podcast, and

(02:55):
she was pretty excited. Where which show did they come to?
Which should which city were in? Rock At Illinois, Rockford. Yeah, yeah,
that was yes, yeah, yeah. Amanda is awesome and Julie's
her next door neighbor. And Amanda she's had a very
similar transitional period of her life, kind of like you have.
Hers was sort of due to illness. She had had

(03:16):
a brain tumor seven or eight years ago and had
surgery and sort of like kept up her very fast
paced lifestyle. She's a nurse practitioner, and then years later
it recurred and she has changed her whole lifestyle. She's
like sees a shaman and you know, is doing tons
of meditation. She used to have to take tons of

(03:36):
drugs when she would have her m RI s done,
and now she just meditates through the whole thing. Like
it's whild, Like her life has been really transformed in
a super beautiful way. And she's also brought this sort
of holistic knowledge that she's gained into her nursing practice,
which is really really cool and it's really wonderful to
see how her life is transformed. And I love that.

(03:59):
That's so nice, so inspiring. It's so nice to know
that you can go from having to take so many
drugs just meditating, you know, Seriously, our guest today was
the star of a little show called This is Us
and she just had a baby, baby number two, and
she's as singer, she's an actor, and she's a multitude

(04:21):
of things. Please welcome Mandy Moore. And I love that
face of yours, Mandy. I like what You're a double
mother now, double mother. I love it. I've thought of
it that way. How are you doing, I mean, well,
how are you guys? We're great. This is my co
host Catherine and many. Nice to meet you. Nice to

(04:45):
meet you, Mandy. I was so happy to have you on,
Mandy because we met briefly at some event who knows
where they all blend together. But and I realized I
had never really met you before. No, we haven't. And
I kicked myself. I was never cool enough or invited
or just it didn't work out to ever be on
your multiple shows, so I never got to know you
in that sense either. I know, Well, it doesn't matter

(05:07):
about being cool enough, because there's plenty of uncool people
on a lot of my shows, so that's really not
the criteria. It's usually a matter of what what usually
would happen would be Publicists would think certain clients wouldn't
be able to handle being on my show, and then
they thought other clients could handle and just like it
was it was such an unfair assessment of their own clients,

(05:27):
you know, like so many people would be like, oh
no, no no, that's not for our clients. She's not gonna
go on that show. And I'd be like, what do
you think it's going to happen that I'm going to
assault these people when they come and sit is my
guest on? Like the round table was one element, but
the interview. You don't just go off on somebody when
they come on your show. You actually tried to get
along with them. Of course, No, I know, I I
think I just I was having a very quiet period

(05:49):
of my life and therefore just there was no reason
to go on your show. Yeah, and we're here now,
so who gives a show? Here? We are here, we
are Tell me how are you doing? Because I know
you just had a baby very recently. He's almost a
month old. I'm doing well, you know, tired all the things,
but it's really wonderful and I'm enjoying it because I

(06:10):
have a twenty month old little boy. And when I
had him, I went back to work. Like a month later.
So it's nice to not sort of have anything to
jump immediately back into and the kind of enjoy this
season of my life as it were. And yeah, so
I'm that's what I'm doing. I'm right in time for
the holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas. You get to enjoy yourself.

(06:32):
So are those Irish twins I mean maybe technically, Yeah,
Gus was yeah, nineteen months when Ozzie was born, so yeah,
they're they're very close. That was not planned that way,
but we celebrated and enjoy it even still. And and
you just wrapped your you were you went on a
tour right before this summer, yeah, which was a terrible

(06:57):
idea to do six months pregnant. It was really a
lot more arduous, Like I hadn't been on the road
and on a bus and done that whole life in
fifteen years, and it just it's very different being a
twenty three year old young lady versus being pregnant and
schlepping a toddler across the country. I was I thought, like,

(07:17):
it's this will be easy. It's great. And then your
backstage in some grungy but fun club. That's so much
fun to play a show in at nine o'clock at night,
but like, not not an ideal environment for a small child.
It was, yeah, it was. It was pretty hard, but
it was great. It was fun to be on the
road and to play shows. I just yeah, it wasn't
the the ideal circumstance. I wasn't feeling great. Well, it's no,

(07:41):
it's not ideal to be pregnant and performing. I can't
even imagine what that's like. And it's never ideal really
to be on a bus, you know what I mean.
Like that is something as you get older, you're like,
uh no, no, no, no, it is not what it
was like when I was in my twenties or thirties,
and being on the road is not what it's like
what it was like when I was in my twenties

(08:01):
and thirties. Well, you're older, you I'm okay, so you're
still in your thirties. Yeah, that's what I thought. How
is the road for you? Well, I mean I love
doing stand up again because I took a really long
break from it for like six years, and so I
was able to kind of re get you know, I
know you took a long break from it too, because

(08:21):
you were filming this as us for so many years,
which everybody can watch on Hulu. You know, taking a break,
I find in my life an experience that is always
yields the best results because when you come back, you
have an effervescence and an energy that you know, many
times we lose when we overdo things and we work
so much, you know, sometimes we just can't keep that
kind of level of enthusiasm up for what we want

(08:44):
to do. And I also was when I was younger.
I just didn't I wasn't as responsible about my fans
and about my audience. And I do a show one
night ship faced and like not care. You know, I
was so exhausted all the time that I never I
didn't know any think about self care or being healthy
on the road. Obviously, now it's a lot different, so

(09:05):
I will not obviously, but it is a lot different now,
so I take a lot better care of myself. But
I'm still it's still exhausting. I mean, anytime you travel,
it's taxing on your body, right And if you know travel,
whether you're in a bus, on a private plane, or
on a commercial plane, it's all it all kind of
knocks you out after a while, and you're so vulnerable

(09:25):
and you're so like you especially, you're so present and
engaged and what you're sort of transmitting to the audience,
like it's it's so emotionally draining as well that I
don't think there's that same level of awareness when you're young,
and like you said, you're sort of running on fumes.
It it only comes in the practice of self care

(09:46):
and having taken like a step away and taken that
sort of downtime to really learn about yourself. Yeah, I
think you have to be a lot more intentional now
as a performer, recognizing like I'm going to have this
clear delineation where I'm authentic and I'm giving people as
much as myself as I can, but also like at

(10:06):
the end of the day, I need to preserve and
protect like some semblance of myself for me, for my family,
for my loved ones, my friends. You know, absolutely, And
I think it's like it's it's easier now to like
not go to dinner before the show, you know, to
take the time and be like, listen, I'm m expending
a lot of energy because I used to diminish that,
like you always you know how women are, we are
always like I can do anything, I can do it

(10:28):
all and I'll be fine, and it's like, no, you're not.
You're not fine. And once you realize that about yourself,
you're like, Okay, it's good to preserve your energy so
that what you're doing and what you're getting paid to do,
you're doing the Actually you're coming out as the actual
best version of yourself and not mailing it in or not.
How is this tour, since it had been so long
for you to be since you had been on tour,

(10:50):
how did this tour feel aside from being pregnant and
obviously not feeling your best. I mean, you basically got
pregnant on your tour. I'm just gonna say it, Mandy,
she got knocked up on the No No I. I
know I'm a group. That would have made it easier,
but my husband was on the road with me at
that point. I was like, don't even look at me,

(11:12):
don't touch me. I would say. It was different, kind
of echoing what you said. I know myself better. I'm
more present, I'm more aware of more nervous, I would say,
because I'm aware of like this the stakes now in
a way that I wasn't before. Although this was still

(11:34):
a very small tour. It's not like I'm some huge
pop artist that was going and selling out like arena
as we were playing cool little theaters and clubs, and
so there was a real intimacy and connection with like
an audience, like looking out and seeing people's faces in
a way that I think I used to just not
gloss over but like whatever would sort of get me

(11:55):
through the show. Now it was like I really was
aware of who was here and why they were here
and what they were digging about certain parts of the show,
like older music, music from newer records of mine, and
being able to be on stage with my husband and
my brother in law who plays drums with me and
is in a band with my husband, and one of

(12:18):
my very dear friends playing guitar on the other side
of me. So it's like I really was surrounded by
people that I adore and in awe of as musicians,
and that was really, really, really different. I've never toured
that way before and probably won't get to again or
at least for a really long time. And even having Gus,

(12:39):
having my my child with me was so special. I mean,
he was asleep long before we played, but he come
to sound check, so being able to look out and
he had his little headphones on and still sort of
unaware of what mom and dad are doing. But one
day we'll be able to tell him, like, hey, we
brought you across the country for you know, a month

(13:00):
and had baby brother and mom's belly and we all
kind of were doing this crazy endeavor together, and that'll
be fun to be able to share one day. So
in that sense, like it was totally worth it and
so special and I love that, you know, I got
to do fifteen shows and I scratched that itch something
I wanted to do for a really, really long time,
and other work had gotten in the way, and a

(13:23):
marriage and divorce had gotten the way. Like there was
so much that sort of happened in my life that
kind of kept pushing off music for one reason or another.
And so to finally have this sort of wish fulfillment
of being on stage and it all kind of coming
together in such a beautiful way, and then had the
wherewithal to like really listen to myself and my body

(13:44):
and say, I don't think this is the best thing
for me right now. I really need to like take
care of my health and get some rest because, as
we mentioned, no one really sleeps on a broad tour bus,
and so that was it. Then I just called it
a day and came home, rested for a couple of months,
and then had a baby. Seriously, did you have to
cut that tour short or did you did? I? Oh

(14:06):
you did. I didn't realize that. Yeah, I cut it
like short. Um. We we did about half of the
tour and had like a nice little break where I
was like, I think this, I think I'm good. I
think I'm good to sort of push the pause button
and just be home and we all got COVID. The
universe was like, and you need to take a break.
Isn't it funny though that wise we get older, we
can make those decisions more responsibly. You don't feel like

(14:29):
you're letting everybody down. You and know that taking care
of yourself as paramount to anything else and other people's
expectations or disappointing people, it's like it's irrelevant, really, you know,
obviously we don't aim to do that, but you have
to take and prioritize yourself in a more serious way.
And I feel like in any other chapter of my
life until now, I definitely would have ignored that little voice.

(14:50):
I would have said, nope, I'm gonna put everyone else's
like expectations ahead of my own, and I would have
just like soldered on and it probably would have been mine.
But I feel like I'm a better woman and wife
and mother and all of the things because I I
sort of listened to that intuition and and took that
time for myself. So I'm like, yeah, okay, And I

(15:12):
sort of feel like, as women, it's good for us
to see examples of other women drawing those boundaries and
delineating between like, Nope, I can only do so much.
I am human, I'm fallible. I need to listen to
my myself and and listen to my body. And that's
sort of what I did. And you're, then, I guess,
kind of giving other people to give themselves that same permission. Yeah,

(15:36):
amen to that, Lahai. I mean, you're not Jewish, but
I am. So I'll just keep saying that, I'll take
off thanks. That's the right answer, I'll take it. So wait,
can I ask you? I want to ask you, but
I want to make sure you're okay to talk about
your mom and your dad. When your mom came out
as a lesbian because I was just talking to my
producer Katherine, and she was filling me in and I
was like, Oh, that's so juicy. Tell me what happened.

(15:59):
You caught your mom having an affair? No, not exactly.
So my parents for high school sweethearts and they were
married for just shy of thirty years. And where did
they go to high school? What State at Florida in Orlando,
and they like, they grew up in Orlando when it
was just like Orange Groves pre Disney World, and that's

(16:20):
where we all grew up, my my two brothers and myself.
But you know, I think there was sort of this
point of pride having parents that were still together, sort
of like you know, looking around your friendship landscape and
seeing marriage is falling apart and families sort of diverging,
and and so it was always this real point of

(16:42):
pride that my mom and dad were together. And I
think being a young person in the industry and I
love my parents and having this fantastic foundation, like I
always had one of them on the road with me
or traveling with me, And I think it's why I'm
thirty eight and still have some semblance of a career
because mom and dad kind of were there to keep

(17:03):
things on the straight and narrow. But all of this
to say, I was about twenty two, I think, and
at the point of adulthood where I was like very
much living my own independent life. And I remember I
was recording music in upstate New York and my parents
both came up to visit me, and I could tell
something was weird. My mom play a lot of tennis

(17:24):
growing up, like all when we were kids, and obviously
then when we got older and left the house. That's
the first sign everybody correct, it can be mom taking
like a very concerned interested in tennis. So she was
playing more tennis now that we were all out of
the house, and she had torn her achilles tendon, and

(17:44):
so she was up visiting me, and she was scooting
around on a little thing with her knee and her
foot hall like bound up healing, and there was just
something off between my parents. And that was the first
time I clopped that anything was sort of strange, like
they just had a weird and energy between them. But
of course I never would have expected like they were
separating or my dad had sort of found out. I

(18:08):
think that my mom was having an affair with a
female friend of hers right before their thirtieth anniversary, and
I think they were sort of in the midst. This
was shortly thereafter, so they were in the midst of
kind of figuring out what life was going to look
like and what was going to sort of unfold from here,
and not telling us children about it yet. And we

(18:29):
went a couple of months later away for the holidays,
and that was when things really felt weird. And it
was me and my younger brother, who's like eighteen months
younger than me, and my mom and dad, and we
were watching like a Christmas movie or something together. And
I had bought my mom a laptop for Christmas, and
she'd asked me to set it up for her, so

(18:51):
I was like doing all the things, and I remember
getting to her email and I wasn't I'm not a
sneaky person just by nature. I'm not really like, yeah,
I wasn't thinking that I was going to find anything.
And I was kind of mindlessly setting up her email box,
and my eyes kind of drifted to the draft box
as I was like clicking on her emails, and I

(19:14):
just quickly scanned this email that was addressed to myself
and my two brothers, and it was sort of a
what I've come to realize was like an exercise and
from her therapist of writing to us and telling us
what was going on and that she had fallen in
love with this woman and was leaving my dad and
how much she loved us. And I just froze and

(19:36):
I quickly closed the laptop and I ran upstairs, and
my my brother, I think, was up there, my younger brother,
and I was like, Kyle, you're not gonna believe this,
Like I just I was setting up mom's computer night.
But my immediate gut reaction was like, we have to
go downstairs and confront them and tell them that I
saw this thing. There's no way that I could keep

(19:56):
the secret now now that I know. And he thankfully
had a cooler head about it, was like no, no, no, no, no, no,
Like let her do this in her own way, in
her own time, Like she wasn't expecting you to find
that email. That's probably not how she wants us to
all find out about this, And can't you tell the
dad is really trying to savor this. This is maybe

(20:17):
like our last vacation as a family, Like let's try
to enjoy it. Let mom do this in her own way.
And I did, but I had to sit for the
next like two or three days, knowing what was going
on and watching my mom text and I'm like, you know,
I don't know who she's texting. She's probably texting this person,
and I was so angry, but I had to sort

(20:38):
of like let that simmer, because it's it's two shockers.
It's like the one shocker and then the second shocker
to find out your mom is gay or you know,
in love with a woman, and that's shocking, especially when
you have no idea prior to that. Wow, that is
such a crazy story, Mandy. It's crazy. And my mother
is still with her partner who she's been with ever

(21:01):
since that day, and it took a lot of time
away and therapy to sort of come around to finding
our relationship again. My mom was the closest person in
my teenage years at a time when I should have
been sort of rebelling against my parents and not spending
the time that I was sort of forced to because

(21:24):
I lived this very strange life and I always had
them sort of in my corner and on the road
with me. So it's weird to be sitting here as
a thirty eight year old woman, like not having that
same close connection that I did with my mom when
I was younger. And also we don't live in the
same state, and you know, we're very different people in

(21:44):
that sense. And I often wonder like, even if life
had sort of continued down the same path and my
parents never split up or I just wonder like, what
would we still feel as disconnected as we do today
or is it just solely in part because you know,
I really took like my dad's side, if there were

(22:05):
sides to take, I I felt like I immediately had
to protect him. And I've always been a daddy's girl anyway,
but being the only daughter, I just felt like I
immediately needed to swoop in and like pick up the
pieces of his shattered life and help him get into
therapy and make sense of what was going on. And

(22:26):
I mean, I know now that that wasn't my responsibility,
but I kind of shunned my mom's side of the
story in favor of just solely focusing on my dad,
and that wasn't okay, And that was something I've made
amends to her for since then. But it's family dynamics
are so wild and ricky, and hopefully one day things
will sort of find better footing. I think that they will.

(22:50):
I think you're completely aware of why you have those feelings.
It makes sense to have those feelings, especially as a
young adult when you're twenty two and your brain isn't
even fully formed and your emotions are definitely not fully formed.
And is your dad remarried? Did you hear someone? Okay, yeah,
they're both like they've both been with their their respective
partners for like fifteen years now or twelve years or

(23:11):
something a long time, and they're very happy. And everything
is amicable between my parents. I mean, I think as
you get older now that like all of us kids
are well into our thirties, their only connection is us
and there's just not much to sort of keep in
touch about necessarily, which is change. I never would have
thought like, oh, my parents have just gone on these

(23:32):
two divergent paths, but everybody's happier, and I think like
they're with the people that they're supposed to be with.
Two yeah, yeah, I think it's you know, we have
to always practice empathy with our parents and understand of
the pressure that they felt and what they were going
through everyone except for my father, but you know, like
you you know, to understand that they were struggling and

(23:53):
she probably stayed in a marriage way longer than she
wanted to, just to keep you guys happy, you know,
and to empathize with that. Well, this is a perfect
jumping off point. Unfortunately, your story is a great jumping
off point for this podcast because we're going to have
people call zoom in and we're going to give them
life advice, okay, and it's super fun. People with their
own tricky family dynamics. I love it. Well, I'm gonna

(24:15):
lean on you guys, but you yeah, you just pop
in when you feel passionate about something. Well, we'll take
a quick break and we'll be right back with Mandy
and Chelsea. And we're back. We're back. Well, we have

(24:36):
a lot of very interesting colors and an email. Today.
Our first caller is Becca. She lives in Portland. Dear Chelsea,
I've been with my high school sweetheart for over twenty
years and I'm worried I'll never find a way out.
We got married when I was eighteen, he was nineteen,
and got pregnant with our first son five months later.

(24:57):
By the time I was twenty four, I had four
beautiful bull ways, all under the age of five. Her
kids are seventeen, sixteen, fourteen, and thirteen right now. Oh
my god. Yeah. We were both raised conservative christian so
getting married young, especially to the person you lost your
virginity too, wasn't abnormal. We've gone through major changes together,

(25:17):
like leaving Christianity because we just couldn't stomach it and
didn't want to raise our kids in it, moving to
the other side of the country for a more liberal
and accepting culture, and supporting each other through college and
career opportunities wherever possible. We've also been each other's primary
support system, like when his mom and my dad died
within six months of each other while we were dating
in high school. I was happy with our little life

(25:40):
until we were really starting to become who we are
now post Christianity. Since then, it has been a personal
hell now lasting over ten years. We've gone to three
different marriage therapists, and we're recently separated for a year
in one. Until this past summer, I was so happy
having my own house and having a really healthy co
parenting dynamic, as well as a pretty good business partnership.

(26:03):
He had joined my business right before we separated. After
spending a year separated, I was ready to start the
divorce paperwork, and he asked if we could try to
work at it a little more instead. So I said yes,
but slowly, and we would still be living apart. After
a few weeks, the owner of the house I rented
had an emergency and needed to sell quickly, so I
moved back in with my husband temporarily. Now we're buying

(26:27):
our family's dream house together, and I feel sick to
my stomach daily, but I know this is a very
necessary and practical decision that I just have to do.
I want to suck it up and try to wait
it out until at least are older two have left
the house, maybe two to five years. But being in
a relationship I really don't want to be in is
taking a toll on my mental health. Any advice, Becca,

(26:49):
god Hi, This is Mandy Moore, our special guest today
god Career. Yeah, this makes my whole year. I mean,
we just read your letter and good my heart goes
out to you. It sounds like, can you okay, First

(27:11):
of all, breakdown, what's the problem? Why is it hell?
When you use that that's a strong word. I think
the best way I can summarize it is just we're
not compatible. We're really good friends and I have a
ton of respect for him and he has a ton
of respect for me. But it's like I'm a square
peg and he's a round hole, and like trying to

(27:32):
fit together isn't working, and it's kind of causing damage
with each of us just as people. So which we
can do that, we can sacrifice for our kids. It's
just not super healthy, right Is there a lot of arguing? Oh? No,
we don't argue anymore past that. No. I mean, we
can get into it, but we just choose not to,

(27:54):
you know. We we're more like conflict adverse at this point. Okay,
And you're in the process of buying this dream house
together with both of your money's. How is that working?
So it's my money, but he's a contractor, so he's
going to fix it up and I'm financing, if that
makes sense. Okay, And you made that decision because you

(28:16):
wanted just to provide your kids with a dream house. Yes,
And it helps us do a really good exit in
like five years after we sell it, so it's it's
super practical. Okay, okay, is there a way for you
to live separate lives in this house that, especially if

(28:36):
you're building it or renovating it or doing something where
you you at least feel a little bit more comfortable
to have some semblance of independence. Well, that's what I'm
trying to figure out, because I think we're both open
to that. But it's hard to not get sucked into
the everyday life of everything with everyone. I mean, if
we're living like the year that we lived separately, we

(28:59):
both grew so much, but it was because we each
had a quiet house once a week. So us all
being together, you just you know, it's a big family
and we you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You
don't want to feel like, okay, guys, go away. You
can't mean me right now. So it's like trying to
find a strategy and a structure to get through this

(29:21):
time period is kind of what I'm trying to figure out. Okay,
So that's good to know. So first of all, it's
not You're not in some abusive situation where you're arguing
on a daily basis or being too in a disrespectful way.
So okay, So it's this is okay. So I think
it's a huge opportunity for you to create a completely
like Gwyneth Caaltro did with conscious uncoupling. You can create

(29:43):
a new set of ideas for how your family is
going to get through this next period of time. And
complete honesty with your children and your husband is the
most respectful way to do that and with them about
what you guys are planning to do. And I think
sitting down with your husband and figuring out can you
have your own bedroom and he have his own bedroom
in this new house? Right? We could get to that eventually.

(30:05):
That could be a dream. I did say that like
months ago, if I ever was to live with someone
ever again, I went to primary suites. I never want
to stare at bed with a guy ever again, unless
you know I need to, unless it's an emergency for
for certain occasions, and then you gotta get out. I
want to read my book. I want. I loved going

(30:25):
to bed early. It was amazing for the first time. Listen,
you're talking to the choir. I love sleeping by my
fucking self, and I love going to bed at eight o'clock.
I can't even tell you how much I loved amazing.
I know. So that's like the light at the end
of the tunnel for me, just in my own bed,
Like if I had that, i'd be I'd be pretty good, honestly. Well,

(30:46):
then you need to get that. That's gonna be a
part of the deal moving forward. Seriously, the standards are
low here. We just need to get our separate bedroom. Yeah, seriously,
if that look how happy you are even talking about it?
I know, well, and that's why I wrote it, because
I was like, okay, well, if anyone will know what
to do with Chelsea, Okay, So listen, you need to
set it up. You have to have a conversation with

(31:07):
your husband and say, listen, I'm really looking forward, not
dreading this new period of time that we're going to
have with our family. Obviously, your kids are the most
important things to both of you, Otherwise you wouldn't be
revisiting your marriage in the first place. So, but you
have to make it very clear to him, because you
don't know, giving yourself enough of the space within this
marriage may make you want to be in the marriage

(31:28):
for a longer period of time, even after your kids
are gone. I know that doesn't sound palatable in this moment.
But what you need is space. We all need it,
you know. And I think when we feel crowded and
we feel we kind of sometimes feel suffocated by our
families and by our husbands. And this is like a
perfect opportunity to try a different dynamic within your family
and have him respect that and say this is how

(31:50):
it's going to be best for me to move forward.
You're in your room, I'm in my room. We're going
to operate as a family, and I want you to
ask for what you need and I'm going to ask
for what I need. Yeah, I think that all makes
perfect sense. So how do you help not get into
that code dependency kind of thing? But I think a

(32:10):
lot of couples and families can do, especially if you're
in each other's space, just not identifying your own needs anymore,
because like your needs become their needs and you can't
even tell the difference. Does that make sense? Yeah, I
think it makes sense. And I think listen. Codependency is
something that everybody experiences every time you're in a relationship,
and it's it's it's I know it's can be such

(32:31):
a dirty phrase, but it's not. It's what happens when
people are in a relationship, but if you want to
get your independence back, that involves and requires a constant
conversation about like what the parameters are where you know
you should use this as an experimental couple, like Okay,
let's do this for six months and then we'll we'll
sit down and discuss is this working for you? Is

(32:53):
this working for me? What could be better for you?
What could be better for me? Whether or not you
guys want to continue to have sex with each other,
whether or not you guys want to be involved in
each other's lives and your each other's social circles. How
do you want to handle all of that? Who's going
to handle the kids, and who's in charge of car pooling,
who's in charge of food, who's in charge of this
and that and all the other things that come along
with children. Luckily that I don't know about, but I think,

(33:15):
you know what I mean, I think you have a
huge opportunity to have a really healthy relationship moving forward
with your husband, and who knows what it could spark,
because as long as you're taking care of yourself, you're
not gonna be so resentful and you're not going to
be so upset about the situation that you're living in. Yeah,
And I also want to say, like, who says you
can't have a night off. Maybe it's not something you

(33:35):
tell your kids like I need a night off from you,
but they're teenagers. Maybe there's one night a week that
you tell your husband like this is your night with
the kids, and maybe it's Fridays and my night with
the kids of Saturdays, and we each go to our
own thing that night, so that he can have a
little freedom as well, you can have some freedom. Did
you ever see that show Splitting Up Together? Is that

(33:56):
with uh Jenna Fisher and Oliver Hudson And we have
had both of them on the show. But it's great.
They make a little bachelor pad in the backyard out
of the garage to have continuity for the kids. The
kids stay in the house and then each week the
parents split off, like they split it up, they switch off,
I should say, but it's kind of what we're talking

(34:17):
about here. I think I saw one episode of that,
maybe like five years ago. Maybe to all of this.
I love I love that idea. It's I guess a
part of me is like when my kids were at
their dad's house, I didn't feel like they could ever
see that as rejection because they still saw me a

(34:37):
little bit on those weeks, but to see me in
the house and doors locked, and I guess they just
gotta get over it. He can take them out also,
like he can take them out to dinner. Yeah, I
think listen, everyone's codependent anyway. I think that language is
kind of unhelpful sometimes, you know, Katherine, you're you want
to consider you and Brad codependent. I mean at some point, yeah,

(34:58):
what they say is like interdependent is the healthy version
of that, But absolutely I can't do anything without him. Mandy,
what about you and your husband or do you feel
like you're interdependent? I don't know, that's a good question.
I feel like I'm in a much healthier relationship now
than I have been in the past, But I do
feel I do feel somewhat. I mean, it's hard to

(35:20):
be in a romantic relationship with somebody and not feel interdependent,
like it's you just become you know, And I just think, listen,
I think what you really it sounds like with you
when you because you're talking about your kids and your
husband and kind of the same vein you need time
to yourself and that's something. Children respect boundaries. I know
you're a mother and there's a huge responsibility that comes
with that, but children respect boundaries, and you're also setting

(35:43):
a great example by you know, placing those boundaries, you know,
for them, so when they're adults and they're dealing with
their relationships with their children and significant others, they can
also behave in a respectable manner. And so you saying,
like Saturday nights, i'm off or from this period of time,
even for this one hour each day, I need for
myself in my room. Whatever you need is okay to

(36:04):
ask for you know, understanding that these are still children
and that you're their mom, and I think you're gonna
feel a lot healthier and a lot more optimistic, you know,
about your situation, instead of thinking that you're living in
some sort of hell, because you're not. This isn't hell.
You know, it's just not your most ideal situation. But
you can make it one. Yeah, okay, okay, great, great, Well,

(36:31):
you know, keep us posted, hit us up in like
six months and let us know what's going on and
how it worked. And if you've got the second bedroom, yes,
you know you're gonna get that second bedroom. That's a prerequisite.
You have to that's a man that this is a mandate. Yeah,
not negotiable. Okay, okay, and good luck with your new house.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Nice to

(36:52):
meet you. Back up meet you. Well, that's not hell.
I mean, it's not you know what I mean? Like
hell is Iran? That's hell. So I mean, isn't it funny? Though?
Oh that looks good. What are you drinking? Lemon water?
Coconut water? I could see there was a hue in
it I liked. I'm very water sensitive because I hate

(37:16):
water so much that I have to have flavors. So
whenever I see anything in water, I'm like, whoa, what what?
What's the name some electroclight powder or something? Oh? Absolutely,
water is so boring. Anytime I'm on a plane and
they hand me like a little room temperature bottle of
Dasani water, I want to throw it right out the window.
Jasania is garbage. Dasani is literally just like tap water.
It's made by Coca Cola, so of course it's garbage. Yes,

(37:39):
I thought that was going to be a much more
depressing set of circumstances. I did too, just literally needs
like an hour to herself and her own room. I
was like, you're getting a new house. This seemed easy, Yes,
And from there, you know, like Chelsea said, is an
investment opportunity and they can have that plan and be
on their way out in a few years. I'm excited

(38:00):
to see what her life looks like to once the
kids all are grown up and out of the house,
because she was such a young young mother. Yeah, yeah,
she's going to reclaim herself in this next chapter. That's
so much to look forward to totally. And it's also
too messy, like to move out and then move back
in and then move out again. It's like that is
very disruptive, even though the circumstances were, you know, prevented

(38:24):
anything else from happening. Maybe, but it would be so
disruptive for the kids. You know, that's so confusing and
unfair to them. And at a certain point you do
have to be the parent when you are one, you know. Yeah,
what else do we have? Catherine? Who's name? Well, our
next caller is Carly. Carly says, dear Chelsea. I'm a

(38:46):
twenty eight year old female that works as a freelance
video production project manager. Hiring crew, managing schedules and budgets, etcetera.
My work and income is steady. My income is not
as high as I wish it was, but I still
have enough to live and be adult it sometimes. I
also love the flexibility that being a freelancer provides. The
problem is I've been working in the same lane for

(39:08):
six years now, and I haven't really felt much growth
in my career, in the path, or in my income.
I have a lot of anxiety around feeling financially stable,
but I'm also so exhausted from worrying about it. Worrying
about money is the exact reason my parents got divorced,
and I can feel it having an effect on my
relationship as well. I don't love what I do, but

(39:28):
I don't know where else to turn. I can see
a future where I'm a successful business owner, but I
can't figure out a path there or what it looks like.
I know I have the skills to do something more,
but I feel stagnant and lost when it comes to
my work life. So how do I stop worrying so
I can kick start my future and really start building
something I'm proud of? Thank you? Carly, Hi, Carly, Hi,

(39:51):
Carly Hi, Carly, how are you Hi. We have Mandy
Moore here today as our special guest. I mean, nice
to meet you, to thank you guys for having me.
Oh absolutely, we're happy to talk to you. So you
freelance mostly. I like your skis in the background. Thank
you for that extra touch. You're welcome. I was just

(40:14):
scrolling through Instagram. Stay where the most snow has been
so far? I was like, I've got a lot of snow.
I'm in Evergreen, Colorado. But anyway, Yes, I freelance. I
have four study clients and so I have steady income.
But I just feel like I don't know what the
next step is. I don't know where to go from here.
I don't necessarily love what I do, and I feel

(40:35):
like if I loved what I did, the money would follow.
And it's just it's exhausting. It's constantly just spiraling in
my brain all the time. And you know, my partner
doesn't love when I'm constantly worried about the same thing
in circles and and I just want to feel like
I'm working towards something mm hmm. And what is your

(40:58):
line of work? Video production? I work a lot with
ad agencies, so we do a lot of commercials and
social media ads and stuff like that. Okay, and you're
not passionate about it, No, not really. I mean I
like the project management aspect of it, and I know
I'm good at what I do. I just I don't know.
I don't feel aligned with with the work. But would

(41:20):
you feel aligned with doing like video managed, like that
kind of video management for something other than another subject
since you have that skill set potentially? Yeah. And I
try and reach out to as many people as I
can outdoor stuff and surfing magazines and everything in and
um yeah, just nothing seems to come to fruition. And
I think it's just because I'm not my heart's not

(41:42):
in it. Mm hmm, Okay. I do kind of wonder.
So you say you like the project management portion of it,
but it's a lot running around, like you're basically running
your own business, but you are also the technician in
your business, so you're the person going out and filming,
you're on set every day. I wonder if you may
be at a point in your career where, rather than

(42:05):
find something totally different, it's time to level up, so
where you are hiring somebody underneath you as subcontractor to
go out and actually be the technician who's actually doing
the work, and you are building a business because project management,
that's what building a business is all about, is overseeing things,
making sure people get where they need to be, that
things get delivered on time and all that sort of thing.

(42:27):
Is that somewhere where you see yourself in the future. Yes,
I've definitely thought about that, and I think that would
be amazing. I just don't know if I'm into video
production anymore. I don't know it's a good thing, Like
I just it's again like that's where my skill set is,
and that's where I feel like I should be. But
I want to try something new. Maybe there's some other

(42:48):
path for me where I can use that that same
skill set and still be outside and not necessarily behind
my laptop all day totally, which I also understand is
part of working too. What are you interested in doing? Like,
what do you like to do outside? Ski? What are
you passionate about? Yeah, I live in the mountains, so

(43:09):
I'm outside a lot, just working like on our property,
like chopping wood and skiing and and stuff like that,
and so I love that kind of stuff and that
is definitely like what I look forward to after work
and on weekends and stuff like that. We have a dog.
I thought about my grandma things I should rescue animals.
But yeah, I don't know how I could make a

(43:30):
career out of all of that, though, especially when I'm
worried about financial stability. Well, I mean, what if you
split up what you're doing, Like, what about if you
love being outside? What about because I mean, I know
a ski guide you're not going to be be making
ridiculous amounts of money, but it combines two things that
you really love, which is earning money and skiing. What
about doing something like that as a supplemental thing so

(43:52):
that you can kind of start to figure out what
will work in the future, you know what I mean.
I think if you if you don't have to work
like a hun your percent in this one field that
you're kind of over, and you start giving yourself a
little bit more space to enjoy the work that you're
doing while you're still making money. I know, ski guides
don't make tons of money, but you know, you could
be a private ski guide and make a decent amount
of money with tips and everything, if you know, if

(44:14):
you're a my ski guy you'd be making a lot
of money because I love that ship, you know. I mean,
what about doing something like that and kind of splitting
your time between the two things more important before we continue,
I think the negative conversation you're having about finances is
having a deltarious impact on your whole vibe. Right when
you have a negative thought pattern and cycle of thoughts,

(44:35):
you have to understand you're here because you got yourself here.
You've made it this far, so you could depend on
yourself worrying and worrying and worrying just grows an issue
and it makes it bigger. So I really need you
to either start meditating, start writing the gratitude list every
single morning when you wake up, or start saying positive

(44:56):
affirmations to yourself. Because these things, while they sound silly,
they change your energy level, They change your vibe. So
once you practice, you put into practice. Do you have
any practices like either of those three things I just mentioned. Yeah,
I do try to meditate quite a bit lately, I've
kind of gotten away from it, but will try harder. Yes,
I should try. Don't try do it. I'm telling you

(45:19):
it will make a difference. It will make a difference
in your frequency and the vibes you're putting out. We
get into negative thought patterns. That doesn't mean you're going
to have these thought patterns forever there. Nothing is permanent.
Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. So if you could
just keep that in mind, this feeling of being broke
all the time is not permanent either. It's temporary. You
have so much going for your beautiful person, you have

(45:40):
a partner, you seem like, you love the outdoors. It
gives you so much joy, Like there's all these great
things that are already happening in your life and this
is just one one aspect of it that isn't where
it needs to be right now. And when you change
the way you think about things, things start to happen
in a different way in your life, and opportunities will
present themselves that maybe weren't there before. Yeah, thank you.

(46:01):
It's a great point. Yeah, and I think the financial
stuff too, Like Chelsea said, it is kind of all
in your head. You've mentioned like I have enough to
live on, but I'm so stressed about money, and that
is something that can be reframed offline. I'll get your address,
but I'm going to send you a couple of books.
One is You Are a Badass, which will help you
reframe a lot of things and maybe start thinking outside

(46:23):
of the box of what your career might look like,
what you love to do. And the other one is
the sequel, You are a bad as at making money,
And that for me was so helpful and like reframing
how I thought about money, how I thought about my
relationship to money, what it means, because at the end
of the day, it's just numbers, but it means so
much more in our minds, Like it's this big looming thing,

(46:46):
and when you get a handle on how you feel
about it, things do start to change. Thank you. Yeah, Mandy,
I know you had sort of a very big, scary
career transition. Is there any wisdom you want to share
about like what you through? No, I mean, I I'm
just in all listening to you, Chelsea, like off the
top of your head rattle off fantastic advice. I mean,

(47:08):
I'm sure this is why you have this very podcast.
I mean, I kept hearing you talk about the money
aspect of things too, and it's like just finding finding
your passion and finding something to sort of bring a
little bit more joy into your world. Like, I feel
like the money conversation becomes less of a thing and
it will have less relevance and presence in your life.

(47:31):
It's just echoing what you guys said. I love that
idea though, of finding a way to create that balance
of your You still have your responsibilities, you're really good
at your at your job, but like maybe incorporating the
the skiing or bringing the outdoor components into your life
and finding a way to make money doing that, and
it's sort of like the best of both worlds and

(47:52):
it will maybe help bring whatever the next transition and
chapter of your life and career maybe a help sort
of bring it into focus a little bit sooner. And
just meeting people too might be helpful. Here's meeting new
people like you know, trail guiding, mountain biking, hiking, all
of the things that sound like they're up your alley

(48:12):
in Colorado. I mean, everyone in Colorado's into all of
that stuff. So it seems like there's a lot of
outlets for you. But I also would recommend you know,
sit down with yourself each morning and write the things
that bring you joy, you know, what makes you happy,
and write those so that they're louder in your mind
than the thoughts that are negative. Be grateful about all
of the things that you do appreciate. You know, the

(48:33):
fact that you love to chop wood, the fact that
you love to be in the outdoors. You know, those
are all gifts. And just keep thinking about that, and
I think your conversation with yourself will start to change
just by you rehbituating yourself. Yeah. Also start putting all
of this on TikTok, because I follow like three people
on TikTok, and one of them is just like a

(48:54):
woman who was a homesteader, farmer lady, it's just chops wood.
It's amazing a minute, people loveld it. Definitely. You have
an Instagram account, start with that. That's so funny. You
know this. This woman said to me my makeup artist
in New York. She's just doing my makeup yesterday and
she goes, I had this vision of you with a

(49:16):
female would chopper. I go, what, And now I'm talking
to you. I'm like, I go on my lesbian now
and she goes, I don't know, it was so weird.
Maybe she's really yeah, it really was, but she meant romantically,
so I don't know. I mean, so that would be
a big leap from this podcast to us dating. But
you know, it's funny and maybe she is like happening.

(49:38):
It's true. You're welcome to come chopping with us anyway.
You know, just do those things, take them into account,
and seriously, just start doing these little practices because they
make a difference in each person's life. And I can
attest to it. I've had major transformations just by really
listening to myself and trying to turn those negative thoughts
upside down. And you know, money couldn't have your whole

(50:00):
life to worry about that, so worry about your happiness first.
Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for calling in.
Of course, let us know how everything goes. Okay, Well,
nice to meet. Good luck with your TikTok account. Thanks
look out for that. Okay, bye bye bye. I love her.

(50:22):
It's hard to tell somebody it's like, hey, become a dentist.
It's hard to tell somebody like what to do when
they're in that situation without knowing that much about a person.
But also, like twenty eight is that time in your
life where it's like, what the funk am I doing?
You know, lots of transitions. Yeah, well let's take a
quick break and we'll be right back to finish up

(50:43):
with Mandy and Chelsea. And we're back, Katherine, which career
when you were mentioning Mandy's career transition, which one were
you talking about? I know, Mandy you had mentioned before
you made the jump to this as us it was
like you were a sort of at your wits end.

(51:03):
Is that right? Yeah? I mean I was like in
a really toxic relationship and it's sort of made me
feel and my life feels so small, and I think
I had been working from such a young age and
feeling like I had let the machine sort of cool down,

(51:25):
and trying to like start that back up again what
it felt impossible, and I felt like I just kept
hitting every wall, and I thought like maybe it was
the universe telling me, like you've had your time and
be grateful for it. Now it's time to move on
and figure out what you want to do next and
maybe go back to school. Made move back to Florida,
and so I had a lot to kind of unpack

(51:48):
and fight through to sort of figure out and quiet,
like you said, sort of quiet the negativity and figure
out like how to just keep putting one ft in
front of the other. So it did feel like I'm
major point of transition in life. And isn't that so funny? Though?
It's so it's like the darkest before the dawn, and
then you get this huge show that is just like

(52:09):
a jug or not for a society, and and you
were in that situation thinking that way about yourself. Yeah,
it was like this, I'm no one likes me, I'm
not a good actor. I can't like I would audition
for things, and it was just like nothing was firing
on any cylinder whatsoever. And so it was difficult to
go sort of reckon with myself, like is this something

(52:29):
I'm even passionate about anymore? Am I really any good
at this? Like? Have I had my moment in the
sun and again just be grateful for it and sort
of bow out gracefully. There was like so many directions
I sort of could have gone and and then lo
and behold, that particular job just sort of came into
my life and changed everything. But I think I also

(52:50):
had done a lot of the work in order for
that opportunity to sort of present itself. I can still
relate to that. I can still relate to all of
those feelings, and it's so important for us to talking
about that because people look at us like we have
all this success and all this you know, everyone's a
human being. Everybody has self doubt. Everybody thinks like, oh
my god, is it's my time in the sun over?

(53:11):
Like I've had that exact thought at different parts of
my career so many times, going I guess that's just it,
and it's like no, when you know what your purposes
and you know what your purposes and you know Catherine,
what your purpose is, it's like you're never done. There
are just different phases to what is happening, and sometimes
it doesn't feel great or it doesn't feel but those

(53:33):
are usually just young thoughts that creep up and we
have these kinds of insecurities and then right before you
know it, you get another confirmation that you're exactly where
you're supposed to be and you're doing exactly what you're
meant to be doing. Yeah, And those moments of self doubt,
like I've come to realize, like those moments where just
the natural ebb and flow of life of like the
wave cresting and then falling back into it's all part

(53:56):
of it. Those moments of downtime can be used as
moments reflection and fuel you for the next ride wherever
you're going after you know what I mean, Like I
I've I've come to sort of try to view it,
I guess in that context. Yeah, my friend once said
something to me. There's a time for planting, and then
there's a time to harvest. Don't forget about the time
to plant, like that is as valuable asters Yeah, and

(54:18):
we get and when things get quiet, it's a it's
another growth spurt. But we don't always see it that
way until it's over and then we go, oh oh,
so how much more powerful would it be to have
the growth spurt and know you're going through the growth spurt? Yeah? Well,
as we wrap up, Mandy, is there any advice that
you'd like to ask for from Chelsea? Yes, I'd love

(54:42):
to hear both of you. I'm constantly asking myself this question,
But I wonder what advice you would have in terms
of what are some small ways that both of you
find to bring a little bit of extra joy into
your daily life. Well, I just started writing that grated
you thing every morning. My friend told me to do

(55:02):
it for twenty one days, and I've passed the twenty
one days. And now I got home last night and
I did it at night, and then I did it
again this morning. And I have to say that, like
my level of joy has increased significantly since I started
writing that list, and that's a new thing for me.
But I am just joyful because when you have to
write what you're grateful for your I'm like my bed

(55:23):
room service, Like what am I? You run out of things?
But then it just it's a such a reflection of
how great things are, you know. And I guess maybe
since the election, everything seems a little bit more joyful,
so maybe I'm giving credit to something, you know, like
that brings me like I'm so happy. I'm so happy
that this happened and it's looking like, you know, democracy

(55:44):
is still intact, and that makes me joyful. But I
really think this thing about reminding yourself what to be
grateful for, because when you write it every morning, you know,
you kind of want to like differentiate, you could repeat yourself,
but you know, makes you think about all the people
in your family, and it makes it all your friends
and all a little people in your life that not
little people but the people you don't see as much
or that play smaller roles in your life, you realize

(56:07):
how integral they are, you know, as instagral as the
people you spend more time with. So it's always just
a good reminder. And do you literally just write a
list or do you like elaborate I write could be like,
I'm grateful for the dinner I had last night. I'm
grateful for my assistant Carla. I'm grateful for my bow.
I'm grateful my sister had safe surgery. It's just like,

(56:28):
can be all over the I'm grateful that my special
is coming out on Netflix. You know, like it can
be materialistic, it can be a person. It could be
I'm grateful to be alive. I just yeah, I mean
I I used to kind of essue all of that
kind of stuff, and now I'm really knee deep in
all of it. And it shows, like I feel younger
and lighter and happier. What about you, Catherine, what brings

(56:51):
you joy? Well, this is something I've been doing lately
that feels very outside of the box for me because
I'm an excellent cook, but I am a terrible baked.
Like I know myself to be a bad baker. I
always forget to put on a timer or I don't
measure correctly. But I've decided to just do the easiest
possible version of baking. I just looked up what is

(57:11):
the easiest recipe for biscuits, and I've been making them,
and amazingly they've been turning out perfectly. So like once
a week, I've just been making biscuits and I feel
like the homemaker, like I can finally make So that's
something that's been just like small, and I like brings
me joy once a week. So I love both of

(57:34):
these things. Guys, I might incorporate like a chocolate chip
cookie instead of a bisk but I love that these
are both two very very concrete bits of advice in
terms of joy. I saw I read somewhere recently that
if you can just cook yourself one meal even a week,
just the act of cooking yourself the food and then

(57:55):
eating the food is an act of joyfulness. And I
was like, oh, and I'm like, you know, I do
get some satisfaction when I make myself scrambled eggs that
don't go you know, sideways, like or that start out
as over easy and then turn into scrambles anyway. Do
you do anything Mandy like that? Do you have a
practice like meditation or anything like that. I don't, but

(58:18):
hearing some of your advice today on the show, I
definitely want to be more active about incorporating that into
my my routine. Yeah, especially with two little babies, like
You've got to really have to exercise probably so much
patience I can imagine, and we have to for the
next eighteen year. Yeah, exactly. But I'm going to start

(58:39):
the gratitude journal and the gratitude journaling like that. Just
that feels like a very easy practice to start and
keep up. Awesome. Well, it was such a delight seeing
you spending some time with you. You're so beautiful inside
and out. Thanks you too, both of you. Thank you
so much. This was such a fantastic way to spend
an hour. I really appreciate it. Yeah, and I hope
to see you so than later. Mandy. I hope so

(59:02):
to thank you both. Have a good one. Thank you
to bye bye. If you are enjoying what you're hearing,
you can subscribe to Dear Chelsea. That is our podcast,
and you can rate us if you want. Yeah, that's
a great idea. It actually makes a huge difference. Okay, Yeah,
subscribe and and and comment, yeah, and follow. So if

(59:26):
you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea
is a production of I Heart Radio, executive produced by
Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert.