EP 413: Going Through A Glow-Up, An IVF Nightmare, & The History of Brothels

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“No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!
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This week the ladies are going SOLO, breaking down a “letter” that a man sent his girlfriend about what is his “ideal” partner. After Mandii talks about her man her man her man, the ladies get into “time wasters” and how some people only get into relationships to kill time. Grabbing some notes from their “New York” chapter of their upcoming book, “No Holes Barred”, the ladies go into the meaning of a “glow-up” and if they feel like isolation is necessary to achieve it. Looking into getting an IVF? Listen to this HORROR story where a woman receives the wrong donor. Last but not least, the ladies get into the history of brothels, and much more!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaks to the planet.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Man,
DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B
Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine. We got the Woman
of All podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts, we got Good

(00:23):
Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with her
next sports podcast, and the Trap Nerds podcast, with more
to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses,
plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to
miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at
Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
the Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kursky.
You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast
how are you want to say?

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Together the Decisions Decisions Welcome guys to another episode of Just.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
A Girl, What Girl? I am in love?

Speaker 3 (01:09):
I'm having sex girl, It's happening, baby, I am in
a relasson stip.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
You should see me though.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Not wanting to say the L word too early, so
I just keep telling everyone we adore each other.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh, you know you have to say you say adore
is the word? Adore is the word.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I'm not saying the L word. I said the L
word for the first time in my last one. Never
the fuck you couldn't waterboard it out of me first?
He gotta feed water board.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
You always see girl me and dB I'm lazy. Welcome
back to another episode of Decisions Decisions. We're alone, y'all
because y'all been asking for it, by the way, bitch,
run up the way y'all been trying to fight us
in the YouTube comments.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Can y'all respect our decision to have guessed because it's a.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
Decision decision for us to get somebody on, and y'all
be upset about it?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
What then were supposed to do? We just running the.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Show, and you know what we are gonna work on
our first seven minutes. Can we not curse because you
know the YouTube we already done say bitch and but sorry,
I no doubt you gotta believe it again. Let's just
work on being thoughtful with our words. Okay, I will talk.
I guess I could talk about the innership and inn
ship ship?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Can we come on? Bracers? Are gonna do?

Speaker 3 (02:17):
We want to start with your ketchup or edon? Did
randomly say you had a question for us?

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah? We can get intil later that I guess. Damn
I feel the pressure now.

Speaker 5 (02:25):
Okay, so as a recent a friend of a friend
of a friend, definitely not me a promise, not me?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Right?

Speaker 5 (02:30):
So they received a letter okay, right, they received a
letter from their current.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Boyfriend from their current boyfriend.

Speaker 5 (02:40):
Current boyfriend of I think they said of five years
right in this is he in a war?

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Why he wrote a letter?

Speaker 5 (02:47):
It's interesting, mind you. It's not even like a sentence
like mail. No, it's a handed letter. In fact, it
wasn't even ripped. It was in a book that he wrote.
In the letter details everything he'd want in a woman. Okay, thoughtful,
you would think, right? Considerably the friend of a friend

(03:09):
of a friend who's not me. They didn't take very
well to this letter. Okay, the letter was written to
who to that to the partner, to the partner, listing
different things that they'd want in a woman, and they
felt like there were so many qualities within that letter
that did not fit for a description. Okay, things like

(03:31):
someone who someone like, for example, someone I don't have
to micromanage.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh that's a break up. That's that's passive, aggressive, and.

Speaker 5 (03:39):
Very probably probably someone I don't have the microphones. Someone
who has a passion in life, someone who is strong, someone.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Who to help me with my luggage upstairs. Right now.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
I have to ask you to have you guys, ever
received certain requests of who you should be to your
significant other relationship? And if you received this letter, what
would you do?

Speaker 1 (04:05):
So two things.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
If I received the letter and I genuinely felt like
the things that that person wanted didn't apply to me,
then I would make the conscious decision that I'm not
a good fit. I think a lot of times women
like try to be something they're not. So for me,
if I received a letter, I would do so example
prime example, Oh my god, so my boyfriend is British.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, And before we like.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
So we started talking about the things that we like
or don't like, or things that bother and I remember
we were on the phone and he was like, you know,
there's there's something that normally bothers me because I feel
like I'm being mobbed. And he was like, so, like
your British accent, like really is a problem because I

(04:53):
feel like you're making fun of me when you get
into your accent.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
And I was so real and honest with him.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
I said, listen, if you don't like me talking in accents,
you don't want to be with me.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
You don't like me, because little do you know.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
When I'm drunk, when I'm hanging with my friends, when
I'm just having regular conversations, I jump in and out
of fucking accents that are terrible. And I know my
British accent is awful, but I jump in and out
of fucking accents like literally all the time with my homegrowth,
and I might sound like a.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
British, Jamaican, Irish Australian who makes that's unfair.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
No, no, no, So I told him, I think their
boyfriend deserves Soner.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
You just shut the fuck up. It is not unfair. Well,
here's the thing, because what if.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
He was like, for example, when people make fun of
American black women, they normally go to this southern ghetto
head bobbing, very loving hip hop ask voice, what if
he was like? What if you were like I don't
feel like doing He was like, I don't feel like twenty.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
You know like that.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
That's that's an over dramatized stereotype. I do all accents.
I don't just do British accents. I also don't sound
good doing accents. So he came to me and said
something because he thought it was me mocking him, and
I said.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
No, this is me.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
I also gave him the choice, if that's something that
you can't get past, we don't got to be together.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well, he's an actor who's dating a very bad actress.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
No, but not only that, he's an actor who has
to talk like an American for roles. So I'm like, nigga,
you you go in and out of your accent and
not too. I can't tell you. You know, we date each other.
I don't want to see you doing American accents because
I feel like that's offensive.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Like no, like, so what is it? Because you're doing
it from something He's saying like when you no, I
literally just start saying it. I don't even mock him
like that.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
No.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
The only thing is he does say what, and I
think that that's funny.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
It's like when he's like explaining something but it's what,
so it just sounds funny. And he says wills a lot,
and I know that's like an American term, but I'd
never hear like Americans say, well you mean English?

Speaker 1 (06:50):
What do you mean but English? But said it's an
American term.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Like because Wilson is in the like, oh you mean English, bitch,
but it's not like all English speak.

Speaker 5 (07:00):
You ain't see that what oh you mean English?

Speaker 1 (07:03):
I do?

Speaker 3 (07:04):
It's English, but I ain't never date nobody that says Willing.
It's like wow, wow, you know, I.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
Remember the first smart guy I ever dated, and British
people just by nature feel more poised and like.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Oh he's very mature, and I say, it's all the time.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
And it really British, like a British gentleman. Like it's
a thing, right, the first smart person. And I don't
mean this like to be girl, easy to let us
just someone that you could tell as well read.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
I felt like I was running behind him in conversation.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Like he would just bring up something that was going
on in the world whatever, and I'm like, yo, am
I fucking dumb, Like it was really difficult for me
and he wasn't from the States, but it also kind
of just highlighted Damn, we're a little bit far back.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh no, we are.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
He I'm eight years older than him, Like my homegirl
is right years older than me. He sat and was
able to keep up in conversation with me and my
home gro He was almost forty and he's eight years
younger than me. So definitely leaps and mounds. I know,
Like there's been constant conversations when I talk to young niggas,
like what the hell do y'all talk about?

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Me?

Speaker 3 (08:10):
And this motherfucker be on the phone for three four
hours and it's like, damn, the conversation never gets stale.
And I'm like, because you grew up in not America,
that's one it is.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Now you love him, he's great? Real quick? What's wrong
with him? Does he snore? Now we slept together, you
don't snore? Damn, nothing wrong? Not yet. I mean, I'm
sure there's gonna be something I don't like.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
This is the I remember the first thing I couldn't
stand about my boyfriend. It's the same thing I can't
stand now love you. Oh wait, there's something I don't like.
Ooh what bitch's allergic to Darry?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Oh yes, oh come on, you know what? I thought
vegans were bad? Bro.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
I literally didn't cook for that nigga because I was like, oh,
how do I cook it out?

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Butter on it?

Speaker 3 (08:49):
Oh my god, I'm like toes, but I'll take a
shit like I can't not this nigga will die Like
our first we went to cheesecake factory when we was
shopping out in mother fucking Vegas, and he they brought
him fucking bread with with with butter on it. They
dipped the calamari and buttermilk, and I literally was.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Like, oh my god, he about to die with me.
I'm about to be the last. But didn't you like
know that this was stuff? Well?

Speaker 3 (09:15):
No, first off, we had we had a We had
a young server who literally when he said dairy allergy,
when she felt so bad, she was like, well, most
people are lactose, so I didn't know it was like
a real allergy side and the motherfuckers only had the
nerd cheese.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Take back here, I'm coming for your head. I only
had a nerd to remove his meal, not mine. I
still got charge. I did, I did, my bitch.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
I was so mad, bro I was the best that
anybody ever took my allergy serious.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Was My tips are huge in this top.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
Was when I was at the Standard hotel and the
drink had egg in it and they run it gave
me bread, but honestly, like getting into the drink, uh
it was. It wasn't a margarita because that's no, no,
no whiskey sours. I know I can't drink. It was
just some random fruity cocktail that they put egg in. Now,

(10:10):
the server at the time suggested the drink to me
knew my egg allergy at the top, so I just
spent at a look at the cocktail and I'm.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Like, you something good with tequila and they're like, oh yeah,
blah blah blah. Damn. So actually she was probably a
fan that had a hit out on your.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Maybe you know what I mean, because she knew you
had the egg g allergy, bitch, because they let me
not even passed on the menu.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
I got you. I'm gonna give you this I'm trying
to think of what I have an update on Asia.
We haven't really gotten much about Asia, and you were
there for almost a month.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
I know, I will tell anybody who's been dating someone
for a year. So this trip we planned in the
summer of last year, like we should go to Asia
for three weeks, and we really were saying, like, let's see,
we could last for three weeks. Bro got along so
well that it was like, oh, of course we could
live together. Like, but the trip was really a month
because the Vegas I told some funny stories on Patreon

(11:03):
about how you know, we ended up having to get
escorted out the airport because of the whole VSA ty.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
But I will say the most impactful part of the trip.

Speaker 4 (11:10):
I have a friend of mine right now who's dating someone,
and they were like, yeah, I love being with him,
but I'm ready for my space sometimes really ready for
my space. Like they live together currently, no when they date,
when they're around each other, like after a certain number
of days, she's capped.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Out and is your friend me the bitch?

Speaker 4 (11:32):
And is I Like, So I'm talking about it with
my partner and I remember when we first met. He
was like, yeah, I like a three four day vacation
with somebody, no more than that, like I need to reset.
On this trip, we did so much shit together, to
the point where we only took one shower without each other,
and the showers was non sexual. Just always wanted to
be around each other. And he said to me, I realize,

(11:55):
whereas we're such solo independent, I don't need nobody for
shit people both of us. He's like, my alone time
doesn't feel as great anymore because I love spending time
with you. And it was one of the nicest things
anybody has said to me, because I've always felt like
when I liked to share space, I'm very needy. And
I found that that wasn't enough time. We wanted more

(12:17):
than in four weeks. He was like, beach, I was
I wantn't crying, but I was like fuck because I
had to go back to LA He went back to
New York like damn, Like this shit is really over.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
We get along so great. I think a few things
I have.

Speaker 4 (12:29):
Noticed that it's a beautiful difference from this and other partners.
There was a lot of things in my head on
the way home, not doubting my relationship, doubting myself and
wondering why other relationships lasted. For one, the solo time
that we spend may look like quiet time while in

(12:50):
the same room. I'm someone that needs to feel space
by talking all the time. I'm a chatty person. I'm
a social person. If I'm on standing online and take
it too long, I'm going to talk next to the
person that's just me. If we do a meet and greet,
I'm the one who doesn't know how to shut up.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
You know that, Yeah, I do. I'd be like, Bennie,
can you tell her? We got to get through this guy,
Like I just don't know how to stop.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
So I think what I've learned is my boyfriend is
not that way, and it's kind of drawn me to
be a little more patient, a little more quiet.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
He said to me.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
We went to this really small private island. It was
very white lotus, and he said to me, baby, I
don't want you to say anything for an hour, not
in this shut the fuck up way, but like you
need some quiet too. He's like, yo, just read the book,
just look at the water, just chill out, cause I'm like, oh,
everybody's waking up now and now I can talk about

(13:47):
And it.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Was just you know my brain is always going.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
I realized that spending the time together isn't always an activity.
We had a lot of time idle, and people really
and including me in other relationships, I didn't know what
to do with that idle time. If there were six
hours where I was just chilling with someone, I felt
like I needed to feel it or make an itinerary.
And I'm not even very type A, but I'm like
that I have this very I gotta entertain new energy.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
And that shit went out the window, and.

Speaker 4 (14:16):
I realized I really suffered in relationships when that idle
time happened. Do I like who you are when there's
no plan? Do I like who you are when I'm
sitting around you for hours at a time and there's
no entertainment for the TV? Can I coexist with you
in this space when we both have nothing to do.
I've found that other people kind of annoy me, like

(14:38):
they really do get me to this point where I'm like,
this is fun, but you can go now.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
It's so funny because you bringing that up, and maybe
because before we got together we fucking talked for hours
every day for seven months.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
But I'm very aware of.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
Who like the space that I do need, which is why,
like my it worked out. He would be around, but
he always got to go home, like and so even
like we were having a jokey conversation where he was
trying to convince me to move to la and I
said it never gonna happen. So he's like, Okay, maybe
I'll consider moving to Atlanta and I was like, yeah, well,
i'll hope you look for an apartment because you won't
be moving in with me, and it was like it

(15:16):
was it was joky, but I also meant it like
before he came over, like I take naps.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
I need my fucking nap.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
So because he jokes about me being a nappy ass
bitch while he was there, I didn't want to resent
him or be annoyed by him being in my presence
because I wasn't able to do the things that I
genuinely like to do and that I need every day,
and so I loved that his response to that was well,
that's fine, I'll just go to the gym so that
you could have time to take your nap, And there

(15:46):
was like not that I was pushing him away, but
he knows how much that means to me, and he
didn't want to like fuck up my day and I
literally fuck up my day is very dramatic, but I
think it's important for if you're a person that needs space,
finding a way to communicate that and making sure your
partner doesn't feel pushed away or opposite, if your partner
is more of a recluse it.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Needs quiet time, then being able to communicate.

Speaker 3 (16:09):
It to you without you feeling like they said, you'll
shut the fuck up. So I just think like it's
it's a self reflective thing and knowing what you actually
really want and communicating it to your partner where I
don't feel offended you.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And wearely don't always know what you want. Like, I
know I want space.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
I think I think a lot of people don't know
how to say that in a way of like, but
sometimes space isn't I need you to leave, It's just
I need to be Because.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
What about people that live together.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
So let's let's go over that live together to work
from home. You live together, maybe both work from home.
How would you communicate or how would you say someone
could get space from the other person.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Well, that is our current situation. We don't live together yet,
but we both work for ourselves. So we were talking about.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
It, and he was talking about moving in together.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
Yeah, like all right, we clearly need a bedroom, like
another bedroom for space, Like what does that look like?

Speaker 1 (17:07):
And also I was very honest with him.

Speaker 4 (17:09):
I was like, Yo, when we're together, I find myself
rushing work sometimes when I'm around you, for spending the
weekend together, I find myself learning a rush it so
I don't leave you if you don't have work on
a weekend. And he's like, that's crazy, because you need
to learn how to exist as yourself when I'm around,
because I'm not leaving.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
True, So how.

Speaker 4 (17:30):
To fucking Gila be wheezy for three hours today and
not feel you know, whatever that is.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
So I think there's just a lot of.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
Unlearning of and I think it's women of really needing
to be like I have to do this, I have
to be available, I got to be this. I really
believe it's a woman thing when women feel like this.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
That's why I'll be talking about therapist like I might
be you.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Might have to bleep it out. I don't know we're
allowed to say that word anymore. But my mind really
thinks like I like a nigga bro. I s to God,
I don't be thinking like that. You're not as much
you've been crying on this podcast. No, I is at
you mean? No, I went through of course heartbreak. I'm
gonna cry. I was fucking depressed last year, like God
knows what. But when it comes to like how I

(18:15):
want to have my time, me telling him, hey, baby,
were not gonna rush the marriage the kids in those
high talks, like, I genuinely feel like I approach relationships
completely from the way that men are used to most women.
And I think that that's why my ex genuinely didn't
think I cared about him, because Okay.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
You need some space, I'll see when you like. I
think it's.

Speaker 4 (18:36):
Possibly because your desires aren't necessarily marriage and children. When
people are on the clock of their own body and
they know what they want. So if you are approaching
a romantic relationship and you're like, yo, children is my
expectation out of this. So if I'm putting this time
and energy into this and you're not the right partner,

(18:56):
you suck me back for another life goal.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
You believe in someone wasting in your time like you
believe in that, you believe that that's the man's fault
or I think it can be. Okay, I say this
because you don't think though that, and I'm curious because
that's a good thing. Yes, we know we have the
biological clock, and we choose partners knowing that we want
certain else.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
I'll tell you a few men that I type of
men that I think are time wasters.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
Okay, let's talk about it. What men are time wasters?
Boom number one.

Speaker 4 (19:27):
The nigga that dates the girl that is so ready
for a relationship, that is telling you she's dating for
marriage and you say, hey, I'm not ready yet. Let's
see where it goes.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Okay, what what on? I agree, keep going on the
rest of the list.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
But yes, answer is totally okay until you get to
the point where you are positive she ain't it. And
the answers that men start to give when being held
accountable is like, well, I told you I was.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
I wasn't ready.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
So a lot of people feel like this is the
woman's fault. Right, However, I'm gonna be very honest with you. Okay,
I haven't been in my last three relationships, including this one.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
First date was I don't know if.

Speaker 4 (20:16):
I want a relationship kind of just with This is
an answer because it relieves the pressure from the man.
If a nigga met a bitch that was for him,
he wants the relationship. That's how I got in mind,
that's how you got in yours. He probably gave the
answer to someone else.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
No, No, that in mind.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
My nigga says, No, I'm saying you got in your
relationship because you're with someone that wants you.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
He admitted that there was some things I did. He
was like, why do I like this bitch? He tried
to not like me.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
I disagree.

Speaker 4 (20:44):
I don't think any man is in a relationship unless
this is really somewhere they want to be. But I
think men have so many options. Mandy, you ain't gonna
take me off the get.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
Me let me women. Let me stay on my hill
right now, women have I don't believe that.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
I think if women had a bunch of our options,
you have a bunch of married women.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Let me continue than os. So okay, so we're talking
two different things.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
No, let me keep going to differ. But this is
what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
My first sentiment was that a woman that's looking for
a relationship, looking for marriage, looking for children. Now I
believe This accountability falls on the man, because at some
point your selfishness needs to be acknowledged. There's only so
much sex, fun time, in intimacy and meals you can
pull out of someone to know like, damn, I'm really

(21:29):
not investing in this person in the way that they
want me to. Because their investment for that time, that pussy,
that energy, even the coddling, the intimacy, it's because she
is expecting you're gonna be her partner.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
I am very tired of seeing this type of that.
What is this? The second type of guy.

Speaker 4 (21:52):
The second type of guy that I was What was
the first thing I said?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
What kind of guy?

Speaker 3 (21:56):
The type of guy that knows that you want all
these things right, says not ready, continues to entertain you
even after he knows you're not the one for her.

Speaker 4 (22:05):
The second type of bad guy to date to me
is the guy that is playing too much of the field.
Maybe this guy has an intent to marry dating too
many women at one time. This is why love is
blind kind of works for a momentary portion, right, love
isn't blind.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
We need something needs to get up right. I need
to be a try.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
But these people get so connected to each other because
they have so much time to learn about each other.
Men are spreading out way too far, dating too many women,
and they almost can't manage it. One of my homeboys
that's dating too many women right now literally said to me, like, bruh,
I'm about to lose one of my bitches because I
had to try to keep the other one. This bitch

(22:47):
had a birthday. I had to show up for her,
and the other one just kind of felt left out.
And he's like, it's it's you owe too much when
you start playing all these seeds in different places and
someone let's just say, these women are dating one or
two men and they're gonna need more from you than
you do. You got less of yourself to give, and
you end up fucking everybody over. And I'm telling you,

(23:07):
you building bitches out here, the savage the tides is
gonna change. It's already changed. That's why you have women
having kids on their own. A lot of this has
to be some accountability on the fact that the options
that men have are leading them to make these decisions.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
It wasn't like that back in the day because it
was different. It wasn't ding ding ding ding ding on
your phone and I really.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Said they was having families with the bitch down the street.
They always had optioned. They just had the bitch down
the street, the bitch up the block. Maybe.

Speaker 4 (23:37):
I mean, divorce rates are higher today, and when it
comes to why people are getting divorced, we rarely see
it being fucking money or anything like that. This time,
it's always some crazy headline about cheating. All I'm saying
is like, I really think the appetite of men sometimes
can get in a way.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
They're getting in with the wrong partners.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
You should be in relationships where women are also ethically
non monogamous and open to it, not just accepting it
because that was their only option. But I just find
that like a lot of the pain and heartache does
need to lie on a man sometimes because if these
women are truly being vocal, then you would know that
expectations are higher of you.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Think.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Why I brought that up, though, was because when you
said your ex was like, damn, I really feel like
it's easy for you to enter in relationships in a
way that men feel slightly safer.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Because you don't need that much from them.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
Me wanting marriage and children looks like, oh, well she
needs this, You just want love, partnership, companionship.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
Mine is a different ask.

Speaker 4 (24:39):
It's a lifetime fucking ask, and so I think it's
just such a relief for men that want the same
things as you.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
That's the problem. I don't meet men know what the
same things as me. My boyfriend right now wants kids
in marriage, but we really like each other. We are
committed to being in a relationship. And I've also let
him know, which is where I never want the title
to be on me that I wasted his time because
I let it be known what I want out the gate,

(25:09):
and when he wants those things, I gave him the
freedom to go and get him for a woman.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
If those are the things that he wants. I like that.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
It like so to me when we talk about time wasters.
I would never accept from him if he got upset
and called me or said I wasted his time, because
I think I'm allowing him to do what I think
most women should do.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
If a man is telling you that your.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Vision doesn't align out the gate, and you choose to
say to try to make it work with hopes that
he changes his mind, but you wasted your own time,
And I think that that's the problem.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
We see here. If the goals don't align, no, so.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
That's what I'm saying. So you're saying that these are
the type of men that are time wasters. I think
a man that out the gate expresses that what he
wants at the time you want it does not align,
and you choose to stay with that one moment one moment,
and you choose to stay with that man in hopes
that love will change his mind, time will change his mind,

(26:12):
or eventually you guys get to the same desires if
you go in expecting that to happen and it doesn't.
As a woman, bitch, you wasted your own time because
you went into the relationship with hope and delusion.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Disagree. I'm gonna tell you why. Okay, you have a dude,
you go on a date.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
I actually pretty much talk about kids in marriage first
or second date because I know I'm out. If we
don't align, men will say things like and I know
this is just something.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Common or a shit.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
I want two kids, I want to poor, I want
a girl, I want this, I would love to move
to Westchester.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Whatever. They're gonna start their story.

Speaker 4 (26:48):
Right, all of us having the same goals does not
mean it's gonna happen with me, of course, but it's
very for you to say it doesn't align. It's very
easy to have a conversation where you're seeing, we have
things in common, whatever.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
But sometimes it just ain't gonna be you saying something different.
I know, because I think maybe the verbiage you use
was one.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
Now, the with you is always going to be silent.
A man can say what they want. Just because he's
expressing that he wants it does not mean he wants
it with you in that conversation. A man can express
what they want, which is what I'm saying. If you
are sitting across from each other and you don't align
on your wants or needs or desires, and not even
by the sex of the children, are moving to Westchester, whatever,

(27:31):
If you know you want family planning and marriage down
the line, and you sit across from a man who says,
I don't want those things maybe ever, and you choose
to continue pursuing him, got him. So that's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying, The with you is always going
to be silent. A man telling me he wants kids
and marriage does not mean and I'm not gonna believe
he wants it with me just because he's telling me

(27:52):
it's what he wants.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
Let me ask you, though, because it's interesting that out
of the people you were dating, I mean, it seemed
like you were the most connected with Actor Bay.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
But does it scare you as a.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
Woman when you hear a man telling you marriage, children
and family is something they want and you want them.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
I told so, I believe that nothing lasts forever, and
I also told him that I don't want to futurefuck
our ability to just enjoy each other in the present.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
He doesn't want children or marriage within the.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
Next couple of years, So to me, I'm excited to
enjoy a loving, carent relationship for as long as it lasts,
and as soon as it no longer lasts or we
no longer align with each other, I'm comfortable with just
experiencing what the relationship was and moving on with my life.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
I genuinely don't think we have.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
To consider people lasting forever or always being on the
same page. Again, we're also we're also eight years apart,
so for me, I genuinely believe that he will go
through a lot more life changes in the next four
years than I will in the next four years, Like,
going from twenty six to thirty is going to be
a lot different in his growth as a man and

(29:01):
an adult than what I'm going to experience from thirty
four to thirty eight. So we've already expressed that how.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
Does it make him feel when you say nothing last
forever as an answer to life.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
If he has a problem with that, you got to
take it up with a therapist. In God, nothing lasts forever. No,
when you say it, like, well, how is he really
if he.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Thinks that love and relationships are supposed to last forever? Again,
he could take that up with therapists and is God.
I'm not here to coddle him in that belief because
that doesn't.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Change for me. I genuinely believe a movie doesn't last forever.
A series.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
We're always sad, right when a series that we fucking
love says it's coming to an end. Me and fucking
Wolf were just like man, dream Bill Festival, this is
the last and final one. We would love for it
to last forever, and it's not, And we're gonna deal
with losing dream Bill as it is. Sometimes you have
to just deal with the reality of life that things

(29:53):
will come to an end. And I don't want to
go into a relationship with the fallacy or with the
id theology that this is something that's going to be forever.
I just want to be able to enjoy it while
we have it. And so again, when I talk about future,
fucking this idea of even thinking of it coming to
an end or us being on a different page in
the next six months or one year or two years.

(30:15):
Let's not fucking overwhelm ourselves with anxiety about what that's
going to look like. Let's just fucking enjoy each other
and love on each other until we don't anymore. And
that's like what I want experience. I want to experience
just healthy relationships without the idea of what life is
going to inevitably bring.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Do you know what's at the end? What you said
feels like such women empowerment.

Speaker 5 (30:35):
Shit.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
If the roles were flipped and a man told a woman,
let's just see where this relationship takes us in knowing
they wanted children, but see I don't, we would demonize them. No,
And knowing the women wanted children, we would demonize them.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
Well no, but yes, you have the power to then
leave the relationship. That's the thing people should not be
demonized for being honest. Okay, I want to be in
a relationship where I just let this ship flow. You're
telling me as a woman, you want babies like yesterday.
As a woman, if this man just wants to let
it flow, you have to be strong enough to realize

(31:10):
that this is not the person that's going to bring
you what you want, and you have to be okay
with going back out into the fucking ghetto of dating
and finding someone else that aligns with you. I think
the problem is women, well, women so much. Women so
much just want to be in a relationship so bad
they're willing to make it seem like something's gonna work
when they know it ain't gonna work.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
They know that.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
And again, because women have the biological clock working against them,
all the blame is on you or a man that
just wants to keep it easy flowing. I think the
age difference makes it different for us, like him staying
with me even for the next three or four years.
He can always get with a woman that can procreate
with him younger. He doesn't have the biological clock that.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
I mean, you're so crazy? Why am I crazy?

Speaker 4 (31:58):
Hold on, Wolf is over there, he can stay with
me for four years and then if he wait, when
he's ready for a kid and I'm still at the
place where I don't want it, I'm gonna.

Speaker 5 (32:07):
Send him off the world to go what don't want though,
But I'm talking about but I guess like marriage.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
I told him he could give me a ring, I
like a cute ring, and we could go like and
then we can have a ceremony.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
But I told him I'm not putting it on paper.
Oh wow, I think most men would like that, Thank you,
especially niggas with money. I'm a bitch with money. We
not bruh.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
We don't need to put that ship on paper to
signify our love to what these Republicans want marriage, I
am happy. That's why he flew to Atlanta because he
was like, I just really want a ceremony and I
want to I want to be able to celebrate our
love in front of my family, and if there's a
way that I can still do that, I accept that answer.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
It's so crazy that the marriage conversations I'm having now,
I've been through these, you know, like, this is what
our wording looks like, this is what I look like.
The more in love I get I'll be like, Okay,
so when we're at the courthouse, like it went down
from having cousins and siblings to I just want my
parents and your parents.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
Like I don't know what it is. My brain is
gone from I want this to like who girt is
economy E to Asia.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
I swear to God, all I think about is like
that's how I love. I am like definitely want marriage
and I want to find this couple. I don't know
if anyone has seen them. I'm going to tell you
their page, go and shout them out. There's some fly
ass niggas. They had a wedding in Mexico City. The
way it started the cinematics, I thought it was a
fucking horror movie, that's how good it looked. But they

(33:37):
shared some photos of them getting married at a courthouse
court courthouse. Him and I shared it at the same time,
and I realized, damn them niggas went to dinner. It
looked like they was alone after they got married at
the courthouse. I'm like, Yeah, when people fucking love wedding,
A lot of time is for everybody else, you know what.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
A lot of times the bride in the groom ended
up being so exhausted, overwhelmed. Like there's so many stories
that people don't even have sex on their wedding nights
because they're so fucking drained and exhausted from entertaining.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
Motherfuck.

Speaker 5 (34:04):
Anytime I am C or DJ wedding, I let them know, Hey,
I know this is your special day, but it's really
their special day. Yeah, And I pointed the family and
everyone else, because at the end of the day, they're
gonna want to take pictures with you to make sure
they get every moment. They want to see you look pretty,
you look handsom. They want to be the rusion, they
want to be the bridesmaids. Like.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
It's that's why I said, I don't want birthday parties.
Me and Weezy be on tour. We'll be talking about
active parties.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
The curation of making sure you have to host and
throw and entertain brings about so much anxiety.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
I told them, I said, you want a ceremony, you
got a plan it.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
I mean, don't get me wrong, I definitely want to
get to that one day. But for me, at this age,
I definitely want to just be married.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Nigga.

Speaker 4 (34:42):
I'm telling you right now, I could be in the studio,
and I feel like people would find out I'm married
from the ring.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
By the way, y'all don't see my texes when I
come in with a ring. Bit y'all married, Fuck y'all like,
y'all better not look for that. What marriage specificate because
it ain't gonna exist. But bitch, when I say it's
a wife, bitch, I'm gonna hold the ring up and
be like, it's a wife.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
I've posted so much less for miles, so I really
feel like I'm gonna be married and people gonna be like,
why did she hide it? And I'm like, when I
tell you my photos, I think I took forty five photos,
which isn't even what I do alone when I have
good makeup. It was crazy and like I kind of wish,
like I literally was like on the plane back, I
was like, damn, I ain't really.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
We didn't take nothing. Oh.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
I told him when he came to Atlanta, we only
had fucking photos in the aquarium with sharks and jellyfish
behind us.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
I said, we could have took more photos. You feel me,
I think we don't get sucked in it. But I'm
also dating someone that doesn't give a shit about that phone.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Oh yeah, this nigga ain't even on social media. I'm
gonna tell you this though. I was cracking out, bitch.
We was on that little island.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
It was three nights. I started getting real stressed out
about something that was going on the track. Everything's great now,
but when it was happening, he was like, listen, if
Bredonda needs you, if Alex needs you, if your mom
needs you, that's it.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
You don't have to shoot horrible decisions. Don't your meeting
that meeting. I took it to him. Anyone that really
needs you will call my phone. Put your phone in
the safe and let it go. Girl. We was at
the fool. I was like, let me go change my sandals. Bitch.
I was in it. Uh God, just give me a TikTok. Bitch.

(36:19):
I was dying. I hate it. I'm telling you I don't,
just knowing I can't. And then you know what sucked.
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
They started doing some cute little performance and they brought
us all these little coconuts with the letters.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Card.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
Didn't give my phone nothing nity thing. I'm just looking
at nice shit with no photo. How are people gonna
know I'm living luxury?

Speaker 1 (36:38):
But I'll puss that.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
That's the life I was living, bitch, and we was
getting a massage. I was like, this is so nice, baby,
I want to take nothing, dog, I need to let
this shit go.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
But it's bad. I even got a little tech net.
I had all posture rescued. Fucking massages.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Like, I am a little too addicted to my phone,
and it's interesting because I'm not a crazy person, but
I just like having access for some reason.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
And the phone feels like, oh, I ain't gonna lie
and I don't win my niggas this one and the
last one. When I'm with somebody, I like phone be
in a whole nother room.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
It do.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
But bitch, I was with, I was, I was with
old Man River and now I'm with baby Bottle Pop.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
When I tell you, my friends came up with those,
by the way, literally the opposite ends of the spectrum.
And I ended up with two men who couldn't be
further apart in age and generation and upbringing, and both
of them do.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Not be on phone. It's I love it to date
somebody that's not tapped in because.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
Once because what I noticed it anytime I see people
on dates, they're both on their fucking phones.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
So when I'm out because I'm with someone now who genuinely.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Don't be on the like his sister runs his fucking
Instagram account, and I say, good, nigga, I met you
on the Graham.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Get off that ship. I can be honest with you.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
I think when you're a person that like your intentional like.
I don't think an Instagram crazy person or a TikToker
can't tap into a dinner if they really need to.
But I find that the phone is pastime. The phone
is this thing of like I'm on a couch now
boom type ship. I'm not going to interrupt my stands
type ship like a Hyan heard a young the young

(38:24):
Nigga reference. No, it's not a reference, it's a term.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Now why in it's exactly it's exactly what you exactly
what you said. Well, you're on the phone more than me,
so you would know it. Well that's what I know.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Hey, guys, we're taking a break from this week's episode
to let you know that your favorite podcast duo has
a book coming out.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
You probably heard us talk about it, No Holds Barred
a dual manifesto Sexual Exploration problem.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
But you don't know is that we are desperate. We
need it so bad to get on this New York
Times Best slid list. That's right, and you can help
us get there.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
Let's show the world how strong and powerful the Whorehive
really is by literally pre ordering our book. And of course,
we want you guys to support independent black owned, brown owned,
and women owned bookstores in your local areas.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Type in No holds.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
Barred online and you'll find a place to buy it anywhere.
We'll get it to get us on this list, but
we really do want you to support your favorite indie bookseller.
Check this description for this week's episode on where to
get it. Okay, I want to get into a new segment.
We're going to be doing this to sell our book
and our pace. Right, So every single week on Decisions Decisions,

(39:36):
whenever we don't have a guest, we're gonna be digging
into a quote from our book. Whoever's up doing the outline,
We're going to give you something that we wrote and
dig into a little convo about it. So Wolfinett and
please join in. This is from I believe this from
our New York chapter. I wrote avoiding loneliness will only
cause issues when you're finally sharing space. The growing mindfulness

(39:59):
is to your overall self seeing productivity and the energy
levels your brain starts to recover with all the external
stimuli that a clusterfuck of a city brings. Yes, community
and companionship are necessary, but so is being able to
say you can be happy by yourself. And I finally
realized the most beautiful version of me doesn't arrive until

(40:21):
I meet the ugliest me. So I want to ask, y'all,
is it true that you really got to get to
a dark and shitty place within yourself to have a
fucking glow up? Have you ever had a fucking glow
up in your life that you felt like just naturally
came without you going through a hard road to get there?

Speaker 3 (40:41):
Now, I think my twenties was the dark ugliness, and
I'm in my glow up currently.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
I think it's the same. Like, you don't know happiness
unless you know sadness. You don't know.

Speaker 3 (40:54):
What it's like to make money unless you know what
it feels like to be broke, Like I think that
that's that's You don't know that a relationship is bad.
I mean, you don't know a relationship is healthy unless
you've been in a relationship that was bad, and so
I think that's literally just the nuances of life, like duality,
Like you don't know how to appreciate the good in

(41:14):
life until you know what comes with the bad. And
so I think like for me, my glow up is
now like finding the strength of confidence, being financially secure,
being like confident in myself, my looks, and all of
those things bring about the best version of myself to
where I can show up as the best version of
myself for the world. I think that you know, when
you're unhappy, when you're depressed, when you haven't dealt with

(41:36):
your traumas, when you haven't gone to therapy and you're
just existing as this broken person, you don't know how
great you could really be before you You have to
navigate those things first.

Speaker 4 (41:47):
I learned another word recently that I wanted to talk
about with y'all. I don't know if anyone's heard this.
Have you heard of a glow down? No?

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Well, low down?

Speaker 4 (41:58):
At the top of the list people that are relevant
to talk about today, they are saying on the tiktoks
and the instagrams, Tyler is the number one most recent
celebrity glowdown. Wait, I now need an explanation on this,
because wherever my mind is going, I disagree.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Why is Tyler a glowdown? People believe this is not me.
God don't come for me.

Speaker 4 (42:25):
People believe that Kyla's glowdown is because the Internet started.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
To high leak Tyler. Tyler Tyler. Okay, Tyler Tyler. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
People believe Tyler had a glowdown because they believe she
got up too quickly. People became obsessed with the song,
didn't have anything that went quickly as pop in mainstream
and social media started to dislike her.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
So I think it's because, first off, I think this
is absolutely unfactual wrong, and I feel like Tylo is
literally I think I think I think pushed.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
This is not my opinion. Push the Star was still great.
The album, by the way, was literally.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
The playlist to Saint Croix, her entire album. I was
so shocked at how fucking dope it was. She has
so many great songs and more hits than Just Wanna.
So if you if you just don't, if you just
don't listen to Tyler, just say that. Secondly, I think
that she is our next upcoming Rihanna. I think she's phenomenal.

(43:28):
I think she's a fucking star and her right what.
I believe why someone would say that is because misery.
If you're in the darkness, you're upset at people who
get so much success so quickly.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
I think we saw that.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
I think the internet's opinions seem louder than the real and.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
That's not the reality. I think that we saw that
with Ice.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Spice like to me, her glowdown is because her album
didn't do as well as it was anticipated. However, people
hated her because they felt like, why the fuck is
she the one that gets to have all of this?

Speaker 4 (44:00):
Why is she at the met gallup? Why is she
in videos with this person? Why is she next to
next to uh Taylor Swift.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
I think people hate to see someone reached success because
they're unhappy with their own.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Inability to I think any other strange thing to at
least with black celebrities, that I've always found strange.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
We don't want to see motherfuckers win. I get Tyler Skinny,
I get there's aria star.

Speaker 4 (44:27):
I get that that there's darker skin talent that is
probably wait Or is better of a singer than Tyler.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
I understand well, no, let's it's because she used the
word colored, which is a word that no, no, no,
this is Tyler being light.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
If you're gonna have the biggest let's nigga, this isn't.
I hate to make it about color. That's life, bro.
Tyler is the biggest star to come out of Africa.
That's a woman.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Correct or am I wrong here? And look how she looks? Well,
I think Thames, I was Gonnas is probably bigger and has.
Actually you think Thames is bigger than Tyler. You think
white people know Sames. I would hope that's true. I think, though,
but don't I disagree with you, guys. I think Tyler
is bigger. I think, I mean, I think on the cover,

(45:16):
I think. I think Tyler makes pop music and leads
into pop music. Tames make more soulful.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
I think that's the point, though, Mandy, like, there's a
pop music star in Africa that looks like Tames. I'm
sure Tyla there. I'm sorry, No one's gonna convince me
that Tyla's looks in skin color and why she's as
huge as she is. It's fine, she's gorgeous, but that is.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
Still saying she's a glowdown take away.

Speaker 6 (45:40):
No.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
I think I think a lot of this when you
when you talk about ice s pice right. Also someone
like I think there's a lot that the internet hates
when it's like, fuck, how do we have someone when
there's someone else scarlet someone.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Else way better? Right?

Speaker 4 (45:55):
And so I think sometimes that noise starts to infect everybody.
What Tyler did with the A word thing was shitty, yes,
but at the same time, it's like, I'm not gonna
hate this girl that much for it, Like I'm over
it already.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
I think we really you are.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
But I think majority of people harness shit for people
they really don't fucking know, right, And I think it's
just it's people wanting to have just and luckily we
still have the First Amendment. Y'all know they're taking rid
of this shit. But luckily we're able to just hold space,
have our opinions and exist. And I just think people
harbor on the worst things.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
This is what I do.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Anytime you want to see how miserable the goddamn world is,
just go to the shade room. Find somebody you really
fucking adore, that you really respect, what you think is gorgeous,
and go look in the comments and see how many
people have something negative to say about it, and then
you can literally move on with your fucking life.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
Now reactionary, Let's talk about some other crazy shit in
the world, factual, not opinion based. I don't know if
you guys have seen the woman that had the wrong
baby born inside of her, but here's a little clip
about some recent craziness.

Speaker 6 (47:03):
A woman in Savannah, Georgia, has filed a lawsuit against
coastal fertility specialists after giving birth to a child who
was not biologically hers due to an embryo mix up.
Christina Murray underwent in future fertilization in early twenty twenty three.
When she gave birth in December, she immediately noticed that
baby did not share her expected genetic traits. A DNA

(47:26):
tess later confirmed that she had carried and delivered another
couple's embryo. Murray is suing the clinic foreign negligence, stating
that the mistake caused her pain and anguish. She initially
planned to raise the child, but after the biological parents
were notified they saw custody. Facing a legal challenge she
believed she could not win, Murray relinquished custody of the child.

(47:48):
At five months old. The clinic issued a statement apologizing
for what it called an unprecedented error, and stated that
it has since implemented additional safeguards to prevent similar mistakes.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Let's talk about a real recap of what I just said,
what you just heard. Excuse me.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
A white woman in Georgia did IVF embryo, put the
embryo inside of her baby is born. The baby's black.
Come to find out it belonged to a couple from
the clinic. She thought, fuck it, I'll just raise the baby.
Them nigga said, hell, nah, bitch, that's our baby. They
were about to go to court, and she was like,
you know what, I'm not gonna lose this battle.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
I'll let it go.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
First off, I think that white woman deserves millions upon
millions of dollars and a few more babies.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
On the opposite end, I have three or four friends.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
That are currently going through egg freezing and embryos literally
retrieval of eggs. Mind you, I'm learning so much about it.
Or you can go through mind you, like seven thousand
dollars a pop, so much work, especially if you don't
have insurance. Insurance oftentimes also doesn't cover everything. The medication
alone is like fourteen hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
So going through IVF basically starts your eggs to get
healthy for retrieval. Mind you, they can literally pull out.
I think ten eggs is normally like a good amount
that you could have. I have a friend right now
that is producing four three like not enough to where basically,
even if they're healthy, it doesn't mean that they'll form

(49:26):
into an embryo.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
Mind you.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
Whether it forms into an embryo or not, you don't
get your money back. So I can understand this black
couple wanting their baby because the retrieval process and having
a healthy baby actually born through IVF is a lot.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
And so I'm not against the black woman wanting her baby.
Me too.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
Also, I also think there's no money in the world
that is gonna make this white woman okay.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Oh my god, bro at all. Let me tell you something.
You know what I mean. I really think that these
are the only.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
White tears I would wipe away. Well, you know, you
carried that baby for nine months. You had to deal
with the fact that it wasn't your baby. She probably
had to sit with herself and say it's fuck it. Man,
God gave me this baby. Either way, I'm going to
stick this through. And she grew a connection to this baby,
and then Bro and we were just saying a few
weeks weeks go in the episode with Kendrick, the biological attachment.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
The chemistry that feeling like you're and it's like it's gone. Yo.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
I make fun of my mom for this all the time, okay,
But when I got Niena, my mom was like, I
want a dog too.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
I was like, well, I'm only give you a thousand
dollars to get a dog, and the only.

Speaker 4 (50:36):
One she could find as tiny as she wanted was
in Fort Lauderdale at the time, so she drove from
her land of the Fort Lauderdale.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
I don't know if anyone hurt me tell the story.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Before she waited to get this dog in a CBS
had the cash in hand, and nobody showed up, and
she called me and said.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
I feel like I just had a miscarriage.

Speaker 4 (50:53):
I have all my toys at home. I'm so ready
for this fucking dog and I don't have anything. And
she would score and it was kind of funny but
kind of cute, but kind of sad, and I realized like, yo.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
If I was a good daughter, you would have said
I got your two thousand on the next Well, you know,
I did raise that budget for your mama.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
I did.

Speaker 4 (51:10):
But by the way I think they was when a
robber ass and I think they saw she was an
old lady, and I was like, nah, we ain't gonna
do it, because why would you have somebody meet you with.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
The cash in a parking lot?

Speaker 4 (51:18):
Anyway, I yelled, I can't believe she did say this
to say my mom Actually, like she was depressed for
weeks because she got so ready.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
She was looking at the photos. The baby wasn't ready
to get the dog, wasn't you know what I mean?
Imagine nine months it did, five months of having a baby,
five months after raising it and then having to give
up custody. Is she in the wrong though?

Speaker 5 (51:39):
Like?

Speaker 1 (51:39):
What wrong? Who the woman?

Speaker 5 (51:42):
Because it's like no, no, like the black woman for
taking the baby as well just I mean not even
putting an effort into just only onto the baby.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Is that that tough?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
No?

Speaker 1 (51:52):
I don't think she's wrong.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Balls were around this, but I don't think she's wrong,
especially because as a woman, like even though you went
through that, bro, if you know any other one that
went through the same and wanted wanted their kid.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
This is where I think the only motherfucker's in the
wrong year is the clinic, right.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
I don't think how this ended up either woman is wrong.
I'm sure she wanted to keep this baby, but also
we don't know, like we don't know. But honestly, like
I said, I don't think that woman is ever going
to be mentally okay with it. And I do think
that there is something to say about the black woman
and now her connection to this child because she didn't

(52:31):
carry that child. So it sucks for everybody involved. I
wonder how you find that out way later though, Nigga,
the baby.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
Came out black.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
I mean, I wonder if they would have found out
if that baby came out white, if it would have
been the same outcome. She may have never known, you
know what I mean, If the baby came out white
and it wasn't switched up with a black baby embryo.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
She may have never realized that biological look get into
little sex history.

Speaker 4 (53:06):
So sex history for the ending of our show, we're
gonna be talking about the history of the brothel.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
Now.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
The reason I wanted to do this was because in
true easy fashion, gotta have some fun.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Now I didn't.

Speaker 4 (53:17):
I'm not gonna say I googled prostitutes Thailand, but I did.
And something that kept continuing to come up was not
not plaza Now, not not plaza is in Bangkok?

Speaker 1 (53:31):
It is Have you been? Because I I just went
to the ping pong show. I wasn't looking. A lot
of people just went because it's not I'll tell you, okay.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
So a lot of when I was telling people, they
were like, oh, I went to that too, Like I
thought it was just strip clubs. So it's a plaza
filled with bars and strip clubs. I would say, it
literally looks like a mall, four floors, escalators, like it
looks like if it wasn't a strip club, it would
be a fucking hot topic or so shit like for real.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Okay, So each strip club has like a theme.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
One of them the girls were like kind of super
thick blonde hair, almost like American looking. There was another
one of lady boys went to bed you already noticed better.
Witch is another one where they had like the super
wide eyes like anime dolls. Another one where they were
just straight bob like very like you went you.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Went or you just looked at it. Oh ya, this
looks this sounds cool.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
So we go and basically this is how you acquire
the plus. So I'm just thinking it's a strip club. Actually, no,
I did it. I just thought we was want to
pull a bitch out the strip club.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
That's what I thought.

Speaker 4 (54:41):
We get there and I'm like, we were staying at
the w I'm like, I don't really want to bring
a bitch back to our room, and he was like, no,
I think one of these places will probably have a
bed back here, That's what he was saying. Like, I
think that's I think these places have rooms because think
of the massage followers.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
He's like, maybe it'll be a happy ending thing.

Speaker 4 (54:58):
Not the case attached to Nanoplaza is a hotel for
five hundred bat which is equivalent to about twenty US dollars.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
You can get two hours at the hotel. That's that's look.
I would say it's sixty.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Fourteen sixty for five hundred five, yes, oh whatever rounded
out now, I would say it was equivalent to like
a Courtyard Marriotte, not a fucking na like you would think. Okay,
so you get into these bars almost every single one
of these women has a number on them.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
You go in, you know, they're like what you like?
What you like? What they're loud? You're like, damn, let
me try to get sexy. So you go, you get
a drink.

Speaker 4 (55:39):
They're rotating on this thing in some of the bars
that are bigger, and I would say, maybe it's twenty
girls on a spinning fucking pole and they're all going around.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
And we're like, ooh, that's pretty. What is that number?

Speaker 4 (55:50):
Say thirteen, Like you're really looking. So when you bring
the girl down, you can negotiate with her. After negotiating
with her, you have to pay a house feed to
take them out, which is a thousand bys. So I'm
now twenty four.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
Yeah, thirty dollars. You can negotiate whatever you want.

Speaker 5 (56:09):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (56:10):
Basically after that you then take them to the hotel
and you do your thing. So when we were outside,
I started looking at these other women. It was a
lot of African selling pussy outside, which kind of was
like wild to me. I was like Niking a thaighland
of sale pussy and then women in his jobs and
I don't even think they were really Muslim.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
I think it was just a fantasy I saw a
few I.

Speaker 4 (56:34):
Would say a little like like a uk Battye type thing, Ossie,
like OnlyFans girls looks. But when we were outside, I'm like,
I wonder why they're on a street because when I
think of like a street walker, I'm not thinking I'm
gonna see people like this one.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
You have to be a Thai citizen to sell or
to be working in those clubs. I googled it. You
have to be a Thai citizen. You have to have
no criminal record.

Speaker 4 (56:57):
So a lot of these women if they ever went
to jail for a week, like you know, real punishable
things in Thailand that could be small, you can't work
in these industries. So if you ever as a sex
worker been you know, soliciting pussy boom, you can't do it.

Speaker 3 (57:11):
We talked about this actually at our live show at
Sony Hall. Was it Germany or one of these countries.
I think Switzerland actually recently past the thing where sex
workers can almost have licenses and it provides them with yes,
with healthcare, parental leave, and health insurance, which is probably

(57:32):
what Thailand is trying to do.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
A safer space or prostitution as illegal in th Highland,
Well maybe they don't call it prostitution. But right, that's
what this is.

Speaker 4 (57:43):
Okay, So that's so weird. Okay, so that's what what
else I was gonna say. Prostitution is not legal, but
even though there's a lot of sex tourism, it's weird,
like dial dos are illegal, like it's just mad shit.
But anyway, so to get into the oldest profession, the
tag of it is actually that old. We say it's
the soldiers profession, but it's not. Anthropologists say that prostitution

(58:05):
didn't actually seem to exist when there were primitive societies.
There was no sex for sale amongst the Aboriginals of
Australia before a white man a wife, Nor was there
brothels and societies when there was ancient Egyptian people or
tribes and jungles.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Like prostitution seems to be something that we.

Speaker 4 (58:27):
Came about when civilization came about, when things had a cost,
that's when prostitution became a thing. So when cities and
communities became civilized.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
And had a structure to follow you that is, don't
tell me a bitch was not fucking for some chickens,
Like it wasn't like the dollargon exchange. But if it
was like, you're not gonna tell me a bitch wasn't
fucking for a roof over her?

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Well, the first recorded.

Speaker 4 (58:54):
Instances of pussy for sale was not a brothel, was
not for chicken, it wasn't a temple, and it was
a religious ritual.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Oh the church.

Speaker 4 (59:02):
Don't be bad you telling everybody that prostitution began in
the church Jesus in Sumria Babylonia. Prostitutes were those who
had sex for religious ritual, not other type of gain.
And sex in the temple was supposed to offer even
more special blessings to men and women alike, and there's
plenty of that in the Bible, though prostitutes in Jewish

(59:25):
scriptures seemed to imply that they would do that in
trade for a home, a place to say.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
So wow, right, the first actual who.

Speaker 3 (59:35):
Was they fucking the past like the leader of the congregation,
I don't know, it doesn't say or they were just fucking.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
In the church.

Speaker 4 (59:40):
Maybe just fucking like listen, let's like manifesting like a
sex magic thing. Bro No, they was fucking the leader
of the congregation. Okay, like we need to get we said,
be sounding a little culty.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
We need to get some land. Let's go fuck and
build this up, and we gotta fuck the man who
owned the land, otherwise we can't get it.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
You gotta you gotta fuck the owner of anything to
get You gotta fuck a man with money to get money.
You got a fucking man with a home to have
a home over your head. They was sucking the leader
of the church.

Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
The first brothels brothels that were actual proper like rooms
in a you know, was ancient Egypt, when where the
influence they believe was from Greek travelers. They would later
have pharaohs dancing with women and musicians trying to have
sex with them in certain spaces, and then boom, they

(01:00:26):
finally created one. When you watch Game of Thrones, I
don't know if you ever finished the season. I never
saw got Okay, that's right, you never watched it. In
Game of Thrones, you see them going into rooms and
women all over the floor and shit.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
But I am curious if it started in Egypt.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
I wonder if these brothels existed, like when them giants lived,
you know, the ones that built the pyramids, Because what
if like a giant camel, what giants? You didn't see
the giants you mean like a bigfoot thing. No, like
there's like giants like so you know, No Nigga was
only like six two no no, no, no no. They
were giant giants.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Giants going around. You think giants made like giants giants.
I don't know what's going around. They was like twelve
foot niggas.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
What if the twelve foot giants went to the brothel
and as a woman like, I wonder if they added
text to the because they had to have big dicks.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
They were giants.

Speaker 4 (01:01:18):
You haven't seen the giants that build the pyramids. You
know what I'm gonna say about adding tax for big dicks?

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Though? Where Mandy ate? Low key wrong? Do you know what?
Hold on? Wait wait serious?

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
Ty girl from non A Plaza told my man the
last time she had sex with a black Eye, he
was too big, too rough. And she didn't even say
big in size. She said he was like football. He
was just too rough with me until now only Europeans.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Well, being rough is different from being large in size.
Why you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Like, unfortunately I didn't change the shame. What happened is
unfortunately maybe she had a bad experience.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
You know, I've met giants with a black man.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
But I will say my homegirl, who used to be
an escort, she literally because she would fuck anywhere from
like four to six guys in a day, I think
six with her max. She literally didn't want to fuck
black guys because they mostly had bigger dicks. That's a consensus.
They can go longer there, they're stronger, their dicks are bigger.
So she was like, bro, if I'm taking six dicks

(01:02:21):
with a black man, I could really only take one.
So she's not probably be reading a fuck wanted smaller dick.

Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
But also, you know the couple thing like I mentioned yesterday,
I think that also kind of like calms you down
as a sex worker.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
But we went to this place called Susie Wong's.

Speaker 4 (01:02:34):
It's in Puque and I think it's in Bangkok, and
it's this ass spanking bar. They just spank you. They're
known for that shit. They don't let you use your
phone because I would have been got bad footage. But
we were talking to this bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
She was fine. She was thirteen thousand by how much
is that that was a bad bitch. I'm not even
thousand by thirteen times thirty.

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
Three eighty Oh yeah, because I remember me and him
was like how much? Just didn't get everybody else telling
a six listen nah but okay, So basically she was
telling me she was like really attracted to her man
and a lot of the girls were getting excited by
him but scared. So I think this girl because it
was kind of feeling like a little like offensive. But
she said something to me that made sense. She said,

(01:03:16):
all of the European tourists get so drunk they can't
end up sucking you, Okay, they just get wipe boy wasted.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
She's like, UK Australia, they paid me all of the money.

Speaker 4 (01:03:26):
I sit there, they do cocaine, they pass out or
they're drinking and they can't fuck. And then by that
time I'm like, okay, I got my money. I think
the niggas be coming in there from New York, like, ay, bitch, you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Put the honey peg hello, straight from the juice bar,
right from the juice.

Speaker 4 (01:03:41):
Bar in bro And they probably talking like America money,
I paid you thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
Bit you better take a shower way. I'm going prepared,
I will say too.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
Maybe we'll have to do a part too, because I
do want to get into brothels coming not only to
of course, we know, uh the Stadtle ranch out in Nevada,
which is crazy because that is like prostitution is illegal
in the state of Nevada, however not that city.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
No no, no, no no, or the opposite, yes or
the opposite. I remember I got my prostitution license on
sex sales. Yeah, I wonder.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Also, they used to have brothels literally here in Times Square.
So I would love to like dig into the history
of brothels within America because the rules have always been
so anti sex work.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
I just want to know how those were even able
to be in septicide.

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
I want to talk about also the religious, like I
watched the actually watch this y'all and for when we
dig into it next time. There is a documentary on
Viceland called Prostitutes of God dev Dosi girls in India
and they have sex to feed their families. The money
goes to the temple and then goes to their families.
Like it's some wild shit, but yeah, I love I

(01:04:48):
just sold pussy for fun. If these stories all over
the place.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Anyway, if you want to read our prostitution.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
Tales coming to buy no holes Barren, thank you. There's
only like two and there we each have one and
that's it. You're not getting tails like it's a whole bunch.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
Now. It's a lot of chapters for it to be tula,
it's a lot of chapters.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
We got eighteen chapters, individual stories on top of an introduction,
on top of what we believe looks like power.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
Y'all know, Holds Barred, a dual.

Speaker 3 (01:05:17):
Manifesto on sexual exploration and power, is available for pre
order now. Please make sure you get your copy. You
support us and you help us become New York Times bestsellers.
Y'all make sure you also pull up to the Black
Effect Festival that's April twenty sixth at the Pullman Yards. Y'all,
we are hosting no live shows from us this year,
but y'all get us all motherfucking day. We'll be in

(01:05:38):
your favorite Black Effect podcast and it'll be great. We're
gonna be drinking coffee like a motherfucker and y'all, just
so you know as well, if y'all want to party
with me, I'll be in Malta for Avisaska.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
I told y'all I'm a carnival chaser. So y'all pull
up if you're coming to Malta May fifteenth to nineteen.
Let me know if you're gonna see me. If you
can't make it to Malta, pull up on me and Jamaica. Baby,
we had Heatonism, not just last week.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
International pus. But you don't want to talk about you
want to talk about in America.

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
Yeah, because I'm okay. I'm outside with this pussy. I'm
outside with the pussy anyways, y'all. Thank y'all for much
bucking tuning in.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Bye bye,