March 5, 2025 • 23 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaks to the planet.
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I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
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We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses,
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Got, Decisions, You've got decisions, baby, look at me. I'm
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(01:39):
Decisions and as always, we're gonna let you motherfucking PUSSI assholes. No,
we got a book coming out, so no holes barred,
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(01:59):
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we need your help.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
That's right, we need your help. I was looking at
the wrong camera.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
What not?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I was just assuming you was rocking with the word.
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I was walking.
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Okay, I'm gonna walk with the why. We need your help.
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Make sure you order our book not only on Amazon,
but make sure you support your local bookstores Black and Brown.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Owned pro birds.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
That's right, all right, Well let's get into this one.
The subject matter for today. Could a tattoo.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Be a deal breaker? Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
What?
Speaker 5 (02:28):
All right?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Hey, Mommy's and Poppy, thank you. This might be lengthy,
but it's worth it, I promise. I've been dating my
man's for almost a year now. We're fully in love,
have plans to get engage, kids, the whole damn thing.
We've both made a lot of sacrifices and compromises for
each other and have done the work to show up
as the partners that we need each other to be.
(02:50):
But there seems to be one hurdle that we can't
get past and has been the only thing in this
relationship that makes it hard for us to see using
the finish line together.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I have two tattoos of two exes.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Initials god damn it, one of my ex boyfriends who
I was with for five years, and one of an
ex girlfriend who I was with for two on and off.
Before y'all start giving your piece, I want to give
you guys some backstory. Both my man's and I are
fully tatted, and to be honest, you'd have to go
on a whole ass scavenger hunt to even find those
(03:27):
two tattoos on my body. They are initials, not full names,
and both are about one inch by one inch and
indiscreet spots. One is on the back of my shoulder
surrounded by other pieces, and the other one is down
on my ankle. They're not all up in your face.
He's never asked me to get them covered up, but
(03:48):
he has communicated to me that seeing them, especially when
we're being intimate and having sex, makes him feel uncomfortable
and as if I'm holding onto those exes. And although
he sat it up throughout his whole body, he constantly
uses the argument.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
What if I had my excess tattooed on me? But
here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I've been with people who had their excess tattooed on them,
but I've never felt a kind of way. I know
that's an unpopular opinion, but tattoos aren't that serious to me,
and I'm not about to be erasing my partner's past. Unfortunately,
this opinion is not the same on his side. I
think where the barrier comes from is that this is
my first monogamous relationship in almost ten years, and he
(04:26):
has always been monogamous in his past relationships. I'm a
retired poly person, and I think that might have a
role to play in me being someone who wouldn't be
bothered by a tattoo of another partner or ex partner
on my person. I am one thousand percent fully committed
to being in something monogamous. I just didn't think this
would be a sacrifice that came.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Along with it.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
We keep revisiting the conversation every few months, but it
just turned it into a whole argument, and it becomes
the one argument we can't seem to move past or
shut the door down on. I know he would drive
and feel safer about our future if I were to
just get them covered up, But for some reason, that
feels like I'm erasing my past or oppressing my bodily autonomy.
(05:11):
Another part of me is like girl is dying on
the hill for two tiny tattoos of ex's initials really
that serious? I'm scared this might be a deal breaker
for him to say in this relationship, should that fear
be a deal breaker for me? So I'm asking y'all,
would two tiny tattoos of two ex's initials be a
deal breaker for a year?
Speaker 5 (05:32):
You want me to be a devil's advocate? You want
me to first. I want to give you first.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I want both of y'all to say how y'all would feel,
and then we'll get into the crutch of the matter.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
So I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I have jokingly, like been like, who is Mary Anne?
Who is Antinette? Like I've seen women's names tatted on
niggas and it's never They'll be like, man, that's my mama,
and that's my grandmama, Man that's my child.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
What do you what are you trying to say here?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Like I've like jokingly been like who that woman name
on your body? But genuinely after a while, like, I
don't think it would bother me if someone had their
excess name tatama.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Where So that is the thing the.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Nick cannon Mariah Carey full back tat especially because nigga,
you might be doing the bending and now I gotta
see that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I'm just saying that tattoo is too much.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I think also, if it's your first tattoo, however, names
and initials. I wouldn't be mad at portraits that insane
might have to go initials, initials. I wouldn't be by that,
especially if you're chatted person one in. However, she's like,
they're not in big places, she said, her shoulder blade.
(06:53):
You're taking back shots.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
I'm gonna see it.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
He is the tattoo. If you I'm up by his
by his face, which maybe that's where.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
The ankles go. I'll be tight.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And now he got to look over and SEEO X's initials.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
To me, though, if this is your person right and
you super tatted, you're dying on a hill.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That makes me believe this relationship.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Isn't that serious, or you haven't fully stepped out of
your polly ways and you're still in communication or love.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Chorty is definitely talking to them, though you thinks she
knows that they're gonna feel some type of way. She
takes any of one of them off, especially the ankle one,
because the ankle one is the worst one.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
To me, the ankle one is worse than the shoulder.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Yeah, absolutely put a shirt on, like I'm chilling the
ankle the ankle. I'm like, now I'm taking your panties off,
and I'm gonna see this tattoo. I don't care if
it's one inch by one is. It looks like a
fucking ten foot tattoo every time I see it, and
i'ma be sick every time. That being said, she could
just put some socks on and we could really just
like that. But the principal, the principle tells me that
you could take off if you have so many tattoos.
(08:00):
That means that you could get you could do that.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
All I think they're leaning into sharing the backstory of
her being newly monogamous and a former polyperson lets me
know that she still has not let go of those
feelings and those relationships with those exes. Because you're not
erasing a past by covering a tattoo. You still hold
those memories absolutely, still probably have pictures and all the
(08:23):
things with those people you out of the respect of
your partner, if it's bothering them. You should care about
your current partner's feelings, not what your exes may think.
It's not erasing the past. I think that a part
of you may actually be doing this. The fact that
you brought up bodily autonomy makes me feel like you're
(08:44):
resenting the power dynamic that you know is a or
the possessiveness that's associated.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
With monogoy monogamy.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
That's what it sounds like to me.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
I feel like you're rebelling against the possessiveness of monogamy.
And that's why you want to keep those tattoos because
you are a former poly person.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
And you don't have to get him removed. I had
a friend who his girlfriend and this current girlfriend now,
right right when they started dating, she knew that she
had a tattoo. I think it was on her arm, right,
And it was a tattoo that an ex designed, right.
It wasn't even that big, so it was like a
little figurine, right. She got it covered up, but it
was for her and for who her partner, like, she knew,
(09:24):
like you know what, he might feel some type of way.
So let me just do something real quick to make
it a little easier. Now that being said, if it's
the principle, the principle is I'm not gonna want to
see initials of another partner on you. It don't matter
right now. Can I put some socks on?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Can you put a shirt on? For sure? Girl, just
take that tattoo off or cover it with something nicer
removal valid? Yeah, now she'll probably she'll probably cover it.
Compare it like knowing, like maybe plus they both tatted, right, Yeah,
so I feel like something like this right And when
I tell a lot of my friends is that you
have to establish like the base of your relationship. So
if you just started, if that's your man for real?
(10:02):
Right now, you guys are starting, let's start a little
honest and with like good principles, which is yo, I'm
gonna be honest. Do you really feel some type of
way about this tattoo? Yes or no? Like tell me
yes or no now and that way you're not? I
don't know. Okay, they feel some type of way for sure.
I might have to get the ship.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Would you guys get matching tattoos?
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Like being together?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
No? Not you a wolf together?
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Okay? First of all, what's wrong with that? Yo? Shut
up a lot?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I mean yeah, we could actually put bananas on both
of you.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
First Why would I want a banana? First off, you
have a half races right.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Now, you have a fucking money bag and an orange
tatter on you that's not the point here talking about
Actually you know that's actually a great point and that
it is not one is one just like five above
your knee, like you already have a time stamp of
two niggas patted on you.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Of course wolves coming at.
Speaker 5 (10:59):
First of all, it's a arey. I can't say anything
about that. Damn.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
That is crazy.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Wor's a commitments. It's a great tattoo.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You might actually align yourself as being.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Polyded on you, bro, I'm branded. I accepted that when
it was happening and I knew I was gonna do,
I was like, I'm accepting this. Fa I don't care.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I can't believe.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Okay, so you broke up with Rory and mall have
you ever considered they broke with me?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (11:26):
First off, but there's actually the their double back. Do
you think they would have felt away if you covered
the tattoo?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (11:33):
But when when they like when they had to drop
me and I understood everything, I was like, I was like,
I gotta say something, to make say something, say something
that was.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Like a poly relationship. Yeah, pretty much. You laid hands
on their other part.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
And I shouldn't have done that. And then next thing.
They were like, we have to drop him. I was like,
I get it right. But the funny part from you
was when I was like I got to say something
about me getting dropped. I was like, does anyone have
a good cover up artist? Because that was my That's
the only way I gotta approach you. I still have it.
I'm like, but first I gotta put pants on.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
You're shorty because you in a whole other relationship. You
know what's crazy? Let me turn this into a relationship.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
If you pay for I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
What's craziest? Oh, nigga, we got it in the butet.
You want to know what's crazy now?
Speaker 4 (12:19):
I would fill away if I was in a relationship
with someone who had their exes something tatted on them,
and I'm like, yo, when you're gonna get an MB
tatted on you?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
And he's like, yeah, nah, that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I would feel away if I'm in a relationship with
someone and they go from having their exatted on them
but not.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Wanting me tatted damn? So should she ask him to know?
Should she should he ask her to get his name
tatted on her?
Speaker 4 (12:43):
But to me because she already has two exes tatted
on her, it probably doesn't mean nothing to YEO. Third times,
the charm is crazy. Well have you ever considered matching tattoos?
So what's crazy is me and my ex send of course,
I of course we thought initials at one point him
because I could have like body that had changed something else.
(13:04):
But then what we wanted to do was get like
uh he would get like the like the spades, like
the King of Spades and Queen of Spades type of dynamic.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Shut up.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
First off, I'm a ghetto busting baby. Y'all are so lucky.
Y'all are so lucky. Back in the day, I wanted
a cupcakesated.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
On my ass.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Oh boy, hey, y'all know, I wanted.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
To laugh now cry later. I wanted the pawns I
have a kiss on the back of it.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
What I've never seen. I've never looked at the back
of your.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Night and it hurts so bad as I'm sure it
looks like covered when I tell you, I don't know
how I don't have a fucking yunion Yang's head it
all somewhere.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I am the O d original millennial. Y'all are lucky.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
I ain't got a tramp stamp like I was here
to get all of them tattoos.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
Do you have an ass tattoo? Do you have a
what an ass tattoo? What the fuck is that an
ass tattoo?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You have an ass test?
Speaker 5 (14:10):
Yeah, it's a long story.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
And then you do not have an ass tat.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
I would show you to you, but we don't have any.
It's it's a it's right, it's a you ever heard
of side talking y C. I have their little logo
as it's basically it's like a one inch it's a
one inch. Well that's the only one that is cleaning
close to my butt. But that's the one inch that
I have on my cheek.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
It's on your cheek.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
I'm not gonna hold you. This is going to be
very problematic of me. I am questioning the sexuality of idiot.
So does everybody understandably just saying like even when I
watch porn, I'll be like, now, why you gotta have
an ass tat?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You look so masculine. I need some maculine energy. Asktat
is just not it's really wild.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
So, like you be doing the bending, do I do
the bending?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I will?
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I would know want to do the bend.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
By the way, if you do not know where that's from.
Get off the pot and go watch that guy. Why
did I get married? I guess why did you?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (15:11):
You said you've never even.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Considered a tattoo with a matching tad, Like even when
you were drunk, you never considered it.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
That the b I'm the same nigga when I'm drunk.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
You know what's crazy. I always used to.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Be like, you're just more excited.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
We're gonna blame liquor every time we left the bar.
Let's go get matching tad. Never I've never done it
with a man. Never wanted to. Well, I clearly wanted to.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
But I've never done it. I had never loved anybody
like the way.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
So you gotta love them to do.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
No, you gotta be you.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
This is why she should take those fucking tattoos off.
Oh yes, so I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
However, No, I had a third part. You either you
either are in love obsessed.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Or delusion.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Delusion is another one so four or come from a
broken home and so so far.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Like you never felt love.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
All these factors sound like she gott to remove and
or cover this tattoo.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It sounds like your daddy didn't sign your birth certificate,
so now you gotta get name.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
You got daddy issues.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
She I agree.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
So our advice is, if you really love this man,
don't cover it, don't you don't?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
You said she don't? I thought she said cheat on it?
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Oh my god, No, I agree, though, I agree.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I think I think that if you truly.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Love the relationship dynamic of what this looks like and
what it should be, you should just get it covered.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Plus, now there's more tats. So you wanted another tat, right.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Ass, bitch, girl, I know you create it. Covered that
ship with some cherries.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
I think I think his feelings are very valid. He
should also just make sure that he's like very straightforward
about like, yo, this is not me me happy, like
I'm not a fan of this, Like what can we
do about it?
Speaker 4 (17:03):
And I think you may also need to dig deeper
into if you are really fully ready for what monogamy,
because I personally don't think you are, and I do
think that you're harboring feelings.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Sacrifice into those, into those tattoos.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
That's what I feel like, right, Yeah, she already made
the worst mistake ever, So you're telling me that what's
the worst mistake, The worst mistake. Ever, you're gonna tell
me there's remnants of another man present, and you're gonna
tell me you're not gonna get rid of it because you.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Know what. But you know what that just.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
About that remnants of another man that you can't get
rid of. All I thought of is come fuck your
other baby, daddy. You got to get rid of that kid,
because now.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I'm in here of a man.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Was just like, that's that's unacceptable. I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
But a child.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
Okay, let me ask you this, okay, and let's not
be so dramatic and go all the way to kids.
If if a man gifted you something like so, if
if you're wearing the necklace from an EX or watch
from an X or anything like that, do you feel
like when you get into a new relationship that those
(18:11):
things should come on?
Speaker 6 (18:12):
Wait, I'm not the right guy to ask. I might
not be the right I'm asking girls. I'm like, you
wore that around him. Oh I'm saying, I'm just keeping
it a stack.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I'm like that around here, Like.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
You wore that around him. It doesn't matter if it's
a special night like it means like in general, what.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
You got the bread to change my whole wardrobe.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Let me we talked about nuts, nigga, I wore these
pants around that.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Away?
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Wait talking about can we go into possessions real quick?
Because I was definitely possessive? No, no, I mean I
mean possessions. Okay, So let me ask you a question.
Maybe this is my little quick u g D if
someone gave me a pricey gift. Okay, let's talk about
maybe price Let's say that over a thousand, right, okay? Right? Uh?
(19:03):
And it's an every day carry. So it's like, let's
say a wallet, right, and we're not we're no longer
a thing, right. And let's say and let's say I
have a new significant other and my is it okay
if I still have said wallet to be used every day?
Speaker 4 (19:19):
You know what's crazy about both of y'all bringing this up. Yes,
it's okay to have the wallet because you know what
no nigga ever asked or says, Hey, yo, we need.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
A new mattress, and mattresses are expensive.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
You think I'm not asking, You.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Are not making a bitch. Bye, You're asking and a.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Woman to buy a mattress.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
You know how.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Expensive mattresses are, Nigga, I'm asking particular, Peter, if you
think you coming in and I want the ship that
I got now that goes up and down because I
got asked, read want the numbers.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
They got paid me plans. We're gonna make it happen.
Speaker 5 (19:47):
Okay, Oh wow, Wow, you're gonna make her do a
beaming bland.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
No, no, no, he gotta buy it.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Oh you gontay it.
Speaker 6 (19:54):
Paint a scenario if we get let's say we get
a new apartment. I don't got my mattress or whatever
like that, but you got a mattress. You're not moving
in the apartment with that mattress, I promise.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
But what about y'all get together.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
You both have your own separate apartments, buying her a
new mattress that you knew she was just sucking her
old niggas on.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
What I'm saying is.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
I am.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
What I'm saying is if it ever comes to a
place where we like living together, you know, I mean,
I know I just threw that in there.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
But if you're at it, no, no, you're atted.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
To it, that's when I will be your vallet.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Ladies, keep your mattress, however, remove your tattoo. That's where
we're at possessions are not. I think covering your tattoo
is fine. And here's what you can do. You ready,
when you break up with this nigga, Because nothing lasts forever.
Don't go throw your ex's initials somewhere else? Are you
just go get the initials back again. Like tattoos, you
(20:42):
can always just add them shifts back to your body.
Win this relationship, or just don't do it again, or
just don't do it again, cover it up.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Just wait until you.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
No, here we go, ultimatum time. Wait, they're already engaged.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
There, engaged, engaged gage if you don't don't cover up
the tattoo before his wedding, she's super fua.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
My boyfriend and I have officially been together. No, no, no,
that's that's the last one. Hold on, I think they're engaged.
I think they're engaged.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
Let's see.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Now we have plans to get engaged.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Yeah, cover up the tattoo. Okay, I'm not gonna hold you.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
No no, no, no, no, cover up the tattoo when he
can gets you a ring, that's the answer.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
Okay, I'm not mad that.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
If he's making the commitment to really fuck with you,
tell him you will get a cover.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
Up when you get that rings wrong. Yes, should do
it before that. I mean, honestly, Loki, she should do
before that too.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
I think she.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
I think she should be open to doing it before
especially if you're really you sure that this is your person.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
Don't make it a birthday gift. Don't make it a
Christmas gift. Don't make it a holiday game.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Get my ankle?
Speaker 5 (21:54):
I mean, and you know what he's gonna say, what
like he's not gonna notice?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Might at this point be bitch? Is about time?
Speaker 5 (22:01):
It's about time on good time.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You don't get a cookie for that bit you should
have been did that?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You can get a cookie now?
Speaker 4 (22:07):
And I did it all for the nookie. Come onokie,
come on, so you could say, do you know that song?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I don't think so. You're a little young. No, it's not.
It's all right the demo right now?
Speaker 5 (22:26):
You know where else they can spend their money. No
holds bar y'all, can spend.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Your money, No holds barred, y'all. This is another episode
if you got decisions again. If you want to see
the full video, make sure you go to horror Patreon
dot com. Backslash Horrible decisions and again no holds barred
available now for pre order. Help us get to the
New York Times bestsellers list. We need your help to
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(22:52):
anywhere you listen to books.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I believe uh auto. Our audio version is also pre sale.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Make sure you caught that ship now by the way, Yes,
Weezie and I are reading the book, so you will
get our voices reading out our book to you. But
again make sure you get them hardcovers. We need like
ten thousand copies, niggad. So if just ten percent of
y'all a week, can motherfucking buy that book, we can
make it to that list.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Help us make.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
His story or her story.
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And march we can't wait to design that toutic for
you as all right, y'all, thank you, and make sure
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Speaker 1 (23:32):
See you guys next week
Speaks to the planet.
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I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
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Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
(00:22):
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her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with
more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses,
plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
you visit us.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
All right, listen, you don't want to miss this.
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Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect
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If you would like to have us answer your questions.
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
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Speaker 4 (00:56):
Got, Decisions, You've got decisions, baby, look at me. I'm
always gonna try to find a way to start a
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Got Decisions to the baby. If you ain't got nothing
else in this world, you got decisions. And I'm joined
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(01:17):
If you want your question read on You've Got Decisions,
make sure you email us at Decisions pod at gmail
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(01:39):
Decisions and as always, we're gonna let you motherfucking PUSSI assholes. No,
we got a book coming out, so no holes barred,
due a manifest so on sexual Exploration of Power written
by myself and Weezy. We'll be out June twenty fourth,
twenty twenty five. However, y'all, we would love to make
(01:59):
New York Times bestseller and in order to do that,
we need your help.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
That's right, we need your help. I was looking at
the wrong camera.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
What not?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I was just assuming you was rocking with the word.
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I was walking.
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Okay, I'm gonna walk with the why. We need your help.
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Make sure you order our book not only on Amazon,
but make sure you support your local bookstores Black and Brown.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Owned pro birds.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
That's right, all right, Well let's get into this one.
The subject matter for today. Could a tattoo.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Be a deal breaker? Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
What?
Speaker 5 (02:28):
All right?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Hey, Mommy's and Poppy, thank you. This might be lengthy,
but it's worth it, I promise. I've been dating my
man's for almost a year now. We're fully in love,
have plans to get engage, kids, the whole damn thing.
We've both made a lot of sacrifices and compromises for
each other and have done the work to show up
as the partners that we need each other to be.
(02:50):
But there seems to be one hurdle that we can't
get past and has been the only thing in this
relationship that makes it hard for us to see using
the finish line together.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I have two tattoos of two exes.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Initials god damn it, one of my ex boyfriends who
I was with for five years, and one of an
ex girlfriend who I was with for two on and off.
Before y'all start giving your piece, I want to give
you guys some backstory. Both my man's and I are
fully tatted, and to be honest, you'd have to go
on a whole ass scavenger hunt to even find those
(03:27):
two tattoos on my body. They are initials, not full names,
and both are about one inch by one inch and
indiscreet spots. One is on the back of my shoulder
surrounded by other pieces, and the other one is down
on my ankle. They're not all up in your face.
He's never asked me to get them covered up, but
(03:48):
he has communicated to me that seeing them, especially when
we're being intimate and having sex, makes him feel uncomfortable
and as if I'm holding onto those exes. And although
he sat it up throughout his whole body, he constantly
uses the argument.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
What if I had my excess tattooed on me? But
here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I've been with people who had their excess tattooed on them,
but I've never felt a kind of way. I know
that's an unpopular opinion, but tattoos aren't that serious to me,
and I'm not about to be erasing my partner's past. Unfortunately,
this opinion is not the same on his side. I
think where the barrier comes from is that this is
my first monogamous relationship in almost ten years, and he
(04:26):
has always been monogamous in his past relationships. I'm a
retired poly person, and I think that might have a
role to play in me being someone who wouldn't be
bothered by a tattoo of another partner or ex partner
on my person. I am one thousand percent fully committed
to being in something monogamous. I just didn't think this
would be a sacrifice that came.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Along with it.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
We keep revisiting the conversation every few months, but it
just turned it into a whole argument, and it becomes
the one argument we can't seem to move past or
shut the door down on. I know he would drive
and feel safer about our future if I were to
just get them covered up, But for some reason, that
feels like I'm erasing my past or oppressing my bodily autonomy.
(05:11):
Another part of me is like girl is dying on
the hill for two tiny tattoos of ex's initials really
that serious? I'm scared this might be a deal breaker
for him to say in this relationship, should that fear
be a deal breaker for me? So I'm asking y'all,
would two tiny tattoos of two ex's initials be a
deal breaker for a year?
Speaker 5 (05:32):
You want me to be a devil's advocate? You want
me to first. I want to give you first.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I want both of y'all to say how y'all would feel,
and then we'll get into the crutch of the matter.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
So I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I have jokingly, like been like, who is Mary Anne?
Who is Antinette? Like I've seen women's names tatted on
niggas and it's never They'll be like, man, that's my mama,
and that's my grandmama, Man that's my child.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
What do you what are you trying to say here?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Like I've like jokingly been like who that woman name
on your body? But genuinely after a while, like, I
don't think it would bother me if someone had their
excess name tatama.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Where So that is the thing the.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Nick cannon Mariah Carey full back tat especially because nigga,
you might be doing the bending and now I gotta
see that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I'm just saying that tattoo is too much.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I think also, if it's your first tattoo, however, names
and initials. I wouldn't be mad at portraits that insane
might have to go initials, initials. I wouldn't be by that,
especially if you're chatted person one in. However, she's like,
they're not in big places, she said, her shoulder blade.
(06:53):
You're taking back shots.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
I'm gonna see it.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
He is the tattoo. If you I'm up by his
by his face, which maybe that's where.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
The ankles go. I'll be tight.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And now he got to look over and SEEO X's initials.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
To me, though, if this is your person right and
you super tatted, you're dying on a hill.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That makes me believe this relationship.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Isn't that serious, or you haven't fully stepped out of
your polly ways and you're still in communication or love.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Chorty is definitely talking to them, though you thinks she
knows that they're gonna feel some type of way. She
takes any of one of them off, especially the ankle one,
because the ankle one is the worst one.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
To me, the ankle one is worse than the shoulder.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Yeah, absolutely put a shirt on, like I'm chilling the
ankle the ankle. I'm like, now I'm taking your panties off,
and I'm gonna see this tattoo. I don't care if
it's one inch by one is. It looks like a
fucking ten foot tattoo every time I see it, and
i'ma be sick every time. That being said, she could
just put some socks on and we could really just
like that. But the principal, the principle tells me that
you could take off if you have so many tattoos.
(08:00):
That means that you could get you could do that.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
All I think they're leaning into sharing the backstory of
her being newly monogamous and a former polyperson lets me
know that she still has not let go of those
feelings and those relationships with those exes. Because you're not
erasing a past by covering a tattoo. You still hold
those memories absolutely, still probably have pictures and all the
(08:23):
things with those people you out of the respect of
your partner, if it's bothering them. You should care about
your current partner's feelings, not what your exes may think.
It's not erasing the past. I think that a part
of you may actually be doing this. The fact that
you brought up bodily autonomy makes me feel like you're
(08:44):
resenting the power dynamic that you know is a or
the possessiveness that's associated.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
With monogoy monogamy.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
That's what it sounds like to me.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
I feel like you're rebelling against the possessiveness of monogamy.
And that's why you want to keep those tattoos because
you are a former poly person.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
And you don't have to get him removed. I had
a friend who his girlfriend and this current girlfriend now,
right right when they started dating, she knew that she
had a tattoo. I think it was on her arm, right,
And it was a tattoo that an ex designed, right.
It wasn't even that big, so it was like a
little figurine, right. She got it covered up, but it
was for her and for who her partner, like, she knew,
(09:24):
like you know what, he might feel some type of way.
So let me just do something real quick to make
it a little easier. Now that being said, if it's
the principle, the principle is I'm not gonna want to
see initials of another partner on you. It don't matter
right now. Can I put some socks on?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Can you put a shirt on? For sure? Girl, just
take that tattoo off or cover it with something nicer
removal valid? Yeah, now she'll probably she'll probably cover it.
Compare it like knowing, like maybe plus they both tatted, right, Yeah,
so I feel like something like this right And when
I tell a lot of my friends is that you
have to establish like the base of your relationship. So
if you just started, if that's your man for real?
(10:02):
Right now, you guys are starting, let's start a little
honest and with like good principles, which is yo, I'm
gonna be honest. Do you really feel some type of
way about this tattoo? Yes or no? Like tell me
yes or no now and that way you're not? I
don't know. Okay, they feel some type of way for sure.
I might have to get the ship.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Would you guys get matching tattoos?
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Like being together?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
No? Not you a wolf together?
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Okay? First of all, what's wrong with that? Yo? Shut
up a lot?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I mean yeah, we could actually put bananas on both
of you.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
First Why would I want a banana? First off, you
have a half races right.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Now, you have a fucking money bag and an orange
tatter on you that's not the point here talking about
Actually you know that's actually a great point and that
it is not one is one just like five above
your knee, like you already have a time stamp of
two niggas patted on you.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Of course wolves coming at.
Speaker 5 (10:59):
First of all, it's a arey. I can't say anything
about that. Damn.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
That is crazy.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Wor's a commitments. It's a great tattoo.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
You might actually align yourself as being.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Polyded on you, bro, I'm branded. I accepted that when
it was happening and I knew I was gonna do,
I was like, I'm accepting this. Fa I don't care.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I can't believe.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Okay, so you broke up with Rory and mall have
you ever considered they broke with me?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (11:26):
First off, but there's actually the their double back. Do
you think they would have felt away if you covered
the tattoo?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (11:33):
But when when they like when they had to drop
me and I understood everything, I was like, I was like,
I gotta say something, to make say something, say something
that was.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Like a poly relationship. Yeah, pretty much. You laid hands
on their other part.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
And I shouldn't have done that. And then next thing.
They were like, we have to drop him. I was like,
I get it right. But the funny part from you
was when I was like I got to say something
about me getting dropped. I was like, does anyone have
a good cover up artist? Because that was my That's
the only way I gotta approach you. I still have it.
I'm like, but first I gotta put pants on.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
You're shorty because you in a whole other relationship. You
know what's crazy? Let me turn this into a relationship.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
If you pay for I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
What's craziest? Oh, nigga, we got it in the butet.
You want to know what's crazy now?
Speaker 4 (12:19):
I would fill away if I was in a relationship
with someone who had their exes something tatted on them,
and I'm like, yo, when you're gonna get an MB
tatted on you?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
And he's like, yeah, nah, that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I would feel away if I'm in a relationship with
someone and they go from having their exatted on them
but not.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Wanting me tatted damn? So should she ask him to know?
Should she should he ask her to get his name
tatted on her?
Speaker 4 (12:43):
But to me because she already has two exes tatted
on her, it probably doesn't mean nothing to YEO. Third times,
the charm is crazy. Well have you ever considered matching tattoos?
So what's crazy is me and my ex send of course,
I of course we thought initials at one point him
because I could have like body that had changed something else.
(13:04):
But then what we wanted to do was get like
uh he would get like the like the spades, like
the King of Spades and Queen of Spades type of dynamic.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Shut up.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
First off, I'm a ghetto busting baby. Y'all are so lucky.
Y'all are so lucky. Back in the day, I wanted
a cupcakesated.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
On my ass.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Oh boy, hey, y'all know, I wanted.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
To laugh now cry later. I wanted the pawns I
have a kiss on the back of it.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
What I've never seen. I've never looked at the back
of your.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Night and it hurts so bad as I'm sure it
looks like covered when I tell you, I don't know
how I don't have a fucking yunion Yang's head it
all somewhere.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I am the O d original millennial. Y'all are lucky.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
I ain't got a tramp stamp like I was here
to get all of them tattoos.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
Do you have an ass tattoo? Do you have a
what an ass tattoo? What the fuck is that an
ass tattoo?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You have an ass test?
Speaker 5 (14:10):
Yeah, it's a long story.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
And then you do not have an ass tat.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
I would show you to you, but we don't have any.
It's it's a it's right, it's a you ever heard
of side talking y C. I have their little logo
as it's basically it's like a one inch it's a
one inch. Well that's the only one that is cleaning
close to my butt. But that's the one inch that
I have on my cheek.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
It's on your cheek.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
I'm not gonna hold you. This is going to be
very problematic of me. I am questioning the sexuality of idiot.
So does everybody understandably just saying like even when I
watch porn, I'll be like, now, why you gotta have
an ass tat?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You look so masculine. I need some maculine energy. Asktat
is just not it's really wild.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
So, like you be doing the bending, do I do
the bending?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I will?
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I would know want to do the bend.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
By the way, if you do not know where that's from.
Get off the pot and go watch that guy. Why
did I get married? I guess why did you?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (15:11):
You said you've never even.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Considered a tattoo with a matching tad, Like even when
you were drunk, you never considered it.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
That the b I'm the same nigga when I'm drunk.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
You know what's crazy. I always used to.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Be like, you're just more excited.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
We're gonna blame liquor every time we left the bar.
Let's go get matching tad. Never I've never done it
with a man. Never wanted to. Well, I clearly wanted to.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
But I've never done it. I had never loved anybody
like the way.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
So you gotta love them to do.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
No, you gotta be you.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
This is why she should take those fucking tattoos off.
Oh yes, so I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
However, No, I had a third part. You either you
either are in love obsessed.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Or delusion.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Delusion is another one so four or come from a
broken home and so so far.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Like you never felt love.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
All these factors sound like she gott to remove and
or cover this tattoo.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It sounds like your daddy didn't sign your birth certificate,
so now you gotta get name.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
You got daddy issues.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
She I agree.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
So our advice is, if you really love this man,
don't cover it, don't you don't?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
You said she don't? I thought she said cheat on it?
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Oh my god, No, I agree, though, I agree.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I think I think that if you truly.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Love the relationship dynamic of what this looks like and
what it should be, you should just get it covered.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Plus, now there's more tats. So you wanted another tat, right.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Ass, bitch, girl, I know you create it. Covered that
ship with some cherries.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
I think I think his feelings are very valid. He
should also just make sure that he's like very straightforward
about like, yo, this is not me me happy, like
I'm not a fan of this, Like what can we
do about it?
Speaker 4 (17:03):
And I think you may also need to dig deeper
into if you are really fully ready for what monogamy,
because I personally don't think you are, and I do
think that you're harboring feelings.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Sacrifice into those, into those tattoos.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
That's what I feel like, right, Yeah, she already made
the worst mistake ever, So you're telling me that what's
the worst mistake, The worst mistake. Ever, you're gonna tell
me there's remnants of another man present, and you're gonna
tell me you're not gonna get rid of it because you.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Know what. But you know what that just.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
About that remnants of another man that you can't get
rid of. All I thought of is come fuck your
other baby, daddy. You got to get rid of that kid,
because now.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I'm in here of a man.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Was just like, that's that's unacceptable. I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
But a child.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
Okay, let me ask you this, okay, and let's not
be so dramatic and go all the way to kids.
If if a man gifted you something like so, if
if you're wearing the necklace from an EX or watch
from an X or anything like that, do you feel
like when you get into a new relationship that those
(18:11):
things should come on?
Speaker 6 (18:12):
Wait, I'm not the right guy to ask. I might
not be the right I'm asking girls. I'm like, you
wore that around him. Oh I'm saying, I'm just keeping
it a stack.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I'm like that around here, Like.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
You wore that around him. It doesn't matter if it's
a special night like it means like in general, what.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
You got the bread to change my whole wardrobe.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Let me we talked about nuts, nigga, I wore these
pants around that.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Away?
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Wait talking about can we go into possessions real quick?
Because I was definitely possessive? No, no, I mean I
mean possessions. Okay, So let me ask you a question.
Maybe this is my little quick u g D if
someone gave me a pricey gift. Okay, let's talk about
maybe price Let's say that over a thousand, right, okay? Right? Uh?
(19:03):
And it's an every day carry. So it's like, let's
say a wallet, right, and we're not we're no longer
a thing, right. And let's say and let's say I
have a new significant other and my is it okay
if I still have said wallet to be used every day?
Speaker 4 (19:19):
You know what's crazy about both of y'all bringing this up. Yes,
it's okay to have the wallet because you know what
no nigga ever asked or says, Hey, yo, we need.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
A new mattress, and mattresses are expensive.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
You think I'm not asking, You.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Are not making a bitch. Bye, You're asking and a.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Woman to buy a mattress.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
You know how.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Expensive mattresses are, Nigga, I'm asking particular, Peter, if you
think you coming in and I want the ship that
I got now that goes up and down because I
got asked, read want the numbers.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
They got paid me plans. We're gonna make it happen.
Speaker 5 (19:47):
Okay, Oh wow, Wow, you're gonna make her do a
beaming bland.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
No, no, no, he gotta buy it.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Oh you gontay it.
Speaker 6 (19:54):
Paint a scenario if we get let's say we get
a new apartment. I don't got my mattress or whatever
like that, but you got a mattress. You're not moving
in the apartment with that mattress, I promise.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
But what about y'all get together.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
You both have your own separate apartments, buying her a
new mattress that you knew she was just sucking her
old niggas on.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
What I'm saying is.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
I am.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
What I'm saying is if it ever comes to a
place where we like living together, you know, I mean,
I know I just threw that in there.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
But if you're at it, no, no, you're atted.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
To it, that's when I will be your vallet.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Ladies, keep your mattress, however, remove your tattoo. That's where
we're at possessions are not. I think covering your tattoo
is fine. And here's what you can do. You ready,
when you break up with this nigga, Because nothing lasts forever.
Don't go throw your ex's initials somewhere else? Are you
just go get the initials back again. Like tattoos, you
(20:42):
can always just add them shifts back to your body.
Win this relationship, or just don't do it again, or
just don't do it again, cover it up.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Just wait until you.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
No, here we go, ultimatum time. Wait, they're already engaged.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
There, engaged, engaged gage if you don't don't cover up
the tattoo before his wedding, she's super fua.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
My boyfriend and I have officially been together. No, no, no,
that's that's the last one. Hold on, I think they're engaged.
I think they're engaged.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
Let's see.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Now we have plans to get engaged.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Yeah, cover up the tattoo. Okay, I'm not gonna hold you.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
No no, no, no, no, cover up the tattoo when he
can gets you a ring, that's the answer.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
Okay, I'm not mad that.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
If he's making the commitment to really fuck with you,
tell him you will get a cover.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
Up when you get that rings wrong. Yes, should do
it before that. I mean, honestly, Loki, she should do
before that too.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
I think she.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
I think she should be open to doing it before
especially if you're really you sure that this is your person.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
Don't make it a birthday gift. Don't make it a
Christmas gift. Don't make it a holiday game.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Get my ankle?
Speaker 5 (21:54):
I mean, and you know what he's gonna say, what
like he's not gonna notice?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Might at this point be bitch? Is about time?
Speaker 5 (22:01):
It's about time on good time.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You don't get a cookie for that bit you should
have been did that?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You can get a cookie now?
Speaker 4 (22:07):
And I did it all for the nookie. Come onokie,
come on, so you could say, do you know that song?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I don't think so. You're a little young. No, it's not.
It's all right the demo right now?
Speaker 5 (22:26):
You know where else they can spend their money. No
holds bar y'all, can spend.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Your money, No holds barred, y'all. This is another episode
if you got decisions again. If you want to see
the full video, make sure you go to horror Patreon
dot com. Backslash Horrible decisions and again no holds barred
available now for pre order. Help us get to the
New York Times bestsellers list. We need your help to
do it, so make sure you go anywhere you purchase books,
(22:52):
anywhere you listen to books.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I believe uh auto. Our audio version is also pre sale.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Make sure you caught that ship now by the way, Yes,
Weezie and I are reading the book, so you will
get our voices reading out our book to you. But
again make sure you get them hardcovers. We need like
ten thousand copies, niggad. So if just ten percent of
y'all a week, can motherfucking buy that book, we can
make it to that list.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Help us make.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
His story or her story.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
And march we can't wait to design that toutic for
you as all right, y'all, thank you, and make sure
you stay subscribed and tuned in.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
See you guys next week
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