April 2, 2025 • 17 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaks to the planet.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,
Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
B Money Podcast with taking Jay Valentine. You got the
Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
(00:22):
Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with
more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses
plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
you visit us. All right, listen, you.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Don't want to miss this.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect
dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got, Decisions, You've always
got Decisions.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Welcome y'all to another You've got the SI.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Send in your questions to us Decisions Pod at gmail
dot com. We want to know what the fuck is
going on with you? What's the see which a baby dady?
What's this see with Eniggy?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
You like? What's the sea with the bitches fighting with it? Word?
We're gonna tell you what your decisions are gonna be.
That's right.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And this one is really interesting because there's a lot
of exclamation points in the goddamn title, and she pretty
much admitted that at this point she's desperate. So let's
get right into this week's letter just that I'm desperate
at this point.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So first of all, I love the show. Even if I.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Don't agree with everything you ladies say, I can honestly
say I have learned so much about myself, most importantly,
how to navigate this world, keep an open mind, and
maybe give a little head or something to feel better.
All jokes aside, I really appreciate the show and staff. Okay,
now that I glaze y'all up, let's get to the
motherfucking teat. I'm a twenty five year old blocklack woman
(02:00):
with locks down my back and a thick ass to match.
I have been openly dating men and women for about
four years now. Over the past few months, about three
to four, I've been talking to this woman that's a
year younger than me.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
She made it clear that.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
She was by, but I didn't mind because I consider
myself by as well, even though I've.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Only been with like two to three guys.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Loo.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Anyways, she is beautiful, an educated black woman in that
ass who She's even thicker than me. My attraction to
her is undeniable. We have really good chemistry, go out together,
even some healthy PDA, but we have not fucked.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
In fact, she won't fuck first.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
She told me she wanted to wait about a month
of us talking before we get sexual, but would initiate
all of our makeout sessions right before bed.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It might even slip a finger at me.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
When I try to return the favor or take it
to the next level, she would tell me your head
or just completely tell me to stop. I really like her,
but I'm starting to feel bad because I want to
have sex but she doesn't. Having a good amount of
sex with a partner is really important to me. It's
kind of making me want to move on. Am I
wrong for thinking that way?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Is it too soon? Please help?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I don't know how we're going to fill in the
needed time for this episode because the girl's not that gay,
So I disagree. I think kind of like me and
and maybe in terms of speaking more from a polydynamic
when whether you're bisexual or not, and I think what
we've talked about me being bisexual, heater romantic. There's maybe
(03:42):
something that she's looking for in a woman. Her identifying
as bisexual may mean she enjoys the softness of women.
She enjoys like being a round woman. She enjoys the
care of a woman, the thoughtfulness that women bring. But
maybe she still just wants dick. So maybe she had
as she may identify as by not that gay, I
(04:02):
don't want to use that with.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Us, I feel. I mean, I'm being facetious. I'm making jokes.
You can make the jokes.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I just want to I want to say that this
woman wanting sex, this other woman, though she identifies as bisexual,
may genuinely like women but not want to have sex
with them. I think the same way, like, then you're
not that gay if you don't want to fuck women,
but you like being around them you are literacy, not
(04:30):
that gay. But also she fingers and makes out with
her and doesn't want to be touched. There's a lot
of no touch me lesbians.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Doesn't make them man less Leslians.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
They don't want to be hang out with you and
under and fingering is happening. She doesn't want to be fingered.
She says that of times slipsy I will also say
just to not and not to super seriousness up. But
if she's fingering you, making out with you, and stopping
everything when you go to advance, I would be curious
(05:00):
to know if you've had a deep conversation to if
there's any trauma associated with that. I know that, like
I was talking to King Noir, and fingering specifically is
something that he's like. Not every woman likes. I think
when we're young, fingering because of something fun that if
the wrong person does it, if it hurts the first time,
(05:22):
if someone is aggressive and doing it wrong, it's not
what I think. Fingering is something that a lot of
women don't like. Fingering is something that I think I
normally actually have to ask for, even for men. So
if she's stopping you from fingering her, but she's advancing
that with you.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's not just fingers. That's not what lesbian sex is
all about. No, no, no, of course it's not.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
But she only mentioned that they make out and they
get to finger, like she fingers her and she allows it,
but as soon as she goes to finger her, the
girl stop.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I actually don't. I didn't hear that at all.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I mean, if someone is slipping in a finger once
or twice, it just means she's trying to keep this
at bay so that the girl doesn't ask for more
and maybe touch.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
That's not a full on or it doesn't sound like
they've had sex. No, they haven't.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
For lesbians, fingering is sex. So she said slip a
finger in. No, she didn't say slip a finger. You
said the close finger. Yes, the girl will finger that's
what lesbian sex is. So if the girl was really
going in, that's considered sex. But she's not because she's
not trying to have lesbian sex. There is a or
that's weird because I don't consider fingering sex that's what
(06:28):
lesbians do. I mean, you want to fuck your girl,
and you guys are let's just say out and it's
quick and you're in a bathroom, or you're in a
movie theater. You could get fucked in the movie theater.
That's you consider fingering sex with men? No, I consider
dick and penetrative sex. That's how we define sex with men.
Right with women, it's a vaginal rubbing, oral or fingering.
(06:50):
So I mean all of my lesbian friends, either that
are married to women or in gay relationships, they talk
about how they just fucked it was hands actually, person
our Net shout out to her. Her book Mostly Dead
Things really great depiction of lesbian sex because it's a
lot of hand movement, talking about risk, thrusting, bucking someone
on the edge of like or in the back of
(07:11):
a car. Like, that's lesbian sex. All lesbians listening, you know,
can feel free to comment. But yes, this is how
we define sex. I think alternatively, I've dated this girl.
This girl likes kissing, hanging out, and the woman energy.
Like you said, however, she's not that gay. That's not bisexual,
and I'm kind of tired of the trope of like
I kissed the girl once, so I'm bisexual. Like fluidity
(07:35):
is different, enjoying sexual experience is different, much like if
a dude I know kissed the guy once but doesn't
want to have sex with him, didn't like it. I
wouldn't call him bisexual because he's not really pursuing anything.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I think this is super fake.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I think that's why you're frustrated because there's no real
explanation there. And most times people that are getting into
relationship with the opposite sex and call themselves bisexual.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Consistently have this issue.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
This is why lesbians don't like to date by sexual women,
because they be playing games, and this girl really sounds
like she's playing games. If you're not ready to go
the whole way, don't even just touch me down there,
like say that you're not.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Ready to have sex.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Instead, she uses the excuses because she's not that gay.
I think the other thing that sucks is when girls
are interested and they have been with women that have
more experience. I just I experienced this a lot, and
they don't know what to do. They're very scared they're
going to be bad, and so they just continue to
avoid it. But they only want to make out because
(08:38):
making how a safe Yeah, my answer is she's not
that gay.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
No matter how I love the show. Get to get
different answers from me because I couldn't disagree more. I
feel like I've said the same. No, I didn't, but
it's fine. I love that. This is why people send
an answers.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I think we align in some places and disalign in others.
This for me, having had during the writing process, have
my bisexuality questioned, even in the editing process of my book,
I guess I know we go by labels, but there's
so many ways in which I, as someone can enjoy
(09:14):
doing something sexual with someone else them not wanting them
to do the same. So I say that because I
don't like head. I love eating a bitchess pussy, I
absolutely love it. I'm someone who don't who doesn't enjoy
receiving oral so.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I am.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I would not like to be called not that gay
or not that bisexual because of the way women engage
in sex. I actually don't want to receive what you
have to offer me anytime. I've even mostly had threesomes
with women, I do all the work for them.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I don't care outside of making out.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
I genuinely also, because I don't like head, do not
care for the woman to engage with me.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
It doesn't make my sexuality any less.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Buy that that is a sexual act that I don't
enjoy having no, But.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
You said sex with women is oral making out and fingering.
I'm saying if I'm having sex with a woman and
I don't do the scissoring, I already said that doesn't
make sense to see at all. My point, she was
fingering the one girl she didn't want it. Read it again,
figuring is slipping a finger in someone's pussy, But she
(10:21):
would initiate all of our makeout sessions right before bed
and even slip a finger in to me if fingering
is a part of sex. What I'm saying is and
why I disagree with your take, which is fine because
all of the listeners can receive this information differently, which
is what I love about Potting. What I'm saying is
it does not make me any less bisexual that when
(10:44):
I'm in her, when I'm having sex with a woman,
I don't want them to do anything to me, which
this is what's happening here. The way the woman's frustration
is when she wants to actually give it back to
the girl, she doesn't want to receive it. I apologize
for any woman I've had sex with who I eat
her pussy out and maybe she wants to and I'm like, no,
I'm good. That has literally happened time and time again
(11:06):
and again. I don't go on dates with women. I
don't do all those things, but I identify as bisexual.
I wish a bitch would come up to me and
be like, h you're not that gay. Okay, whatever you
can you can really isn't relevant to the things that
you do at all. Because no touch lesbians are having
some form of misatic I.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Brought that up too, the no touch lesbians.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
They are not no touch lesbians. This is we don't
know this girl. No what I'm saying, this isn't a
no touch lesbian situation.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
They've been talking for a month, so to me, maybe
that conversation hasn't been had. She feels like she's being rejected.
I think it would be safe to say, Hey, so
I've tried to figure you a few times now and
you either tell me to stop or I feel like
you're making excuses. Why do you not want to be touched?
Do you not want to go that? She just feels
like she's rejected right now. She hasn't gotten real answers,
(11:54):
and I feel like maybe because you feel rejected right now,
I think you need to talk to her and see, Hey,
so you don't want me to finger you, but can
I eat your pussy? Like? I want to please you
and I feel like I haven't been able to do
that why And it's also not getting more from this girl.
There's no orl like. That's why I said, so ask hey,
(12:15):
I'm not allowed to finger you back when you finger me?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Can I eat your pussy? I really want to do pussy?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And all of these questions should be add so instead
of you feeling rejected and writing in and saying you're
desperate because you don't understand why this woman isn't going there?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Have you talked to her? Have you had the conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
About what her relationships with women look like? I've literally
invited and I've shared this on the pod. I don't
know how many years ago I was entertaining another bisexual woman.
She came over to my house. We were watching TV.
She was naked. We started cuddling. I go to rub
(12:56):
on her and she made me stop and I was like, well, bitch,
you naked with my bed.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I'm confused. She wanted me to take her out to
the movies.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
She literally was like, I don't want to have sex
until you take me out to the movies. And I
was like, well, gir you could put your clothes on,
because to me, though I'm bisexual, I don't want to
date you.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I don't want to take you will stand up for like,
you know, a one or two night thing.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I think with the level they're at hanging out PDA, yeah,
enjoying each other's company for this amount of time. Yeah,
I've been down this roads a hundred times, you know,
romantic relationships with women, and this is what I've seen.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I would say the rejection.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
We have to stop thinking that at certain points the
rejection is really about us, because why would people spend
this much time with you if there was a true
rejection there. I totally get the feeling because I remember,
if you've been listening to the show for a while.
A few years ago, I've met a guy at Dreamville
and we would spend all this time together and sex
wasn't happening, and I felt like he wasn't into me.
(13:58):
It didn't go that long, but I in this particular case,
there is a.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Trend with women that do this.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I'm excited to hear the update. I also want to
make mention too, as far as men go, I've actually
heard this a lot with gay men who are dating
guys that are straight and just there for like gay
sexual pleasure. Many times they're in kind of the opposite scenario.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
They're with these men.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
That only want to fuck them, be around them outside,
but it's like totally different vibes and it really makes
them feel rejected. So it's interesting because like women are
more apprehensive when it comes to the sexual side, where
men are more apprehensive for the emotions. So so many
you know, venting sessions or experiences with myself where you
(14:49):
kind of see the same thing with men total opposite
me and the student having great sex, nothing is happening
when we get outside of the bedroom, whereas with women,
I actually hear this exact story, like, damn, we're vibing,
but is she into me?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Is she gay? Does she like women? Is she scared
to start? Like?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
You know, and lesbians for a long time too, have
made us all feel like if you're by, we don't
want you, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I mean, when we had Punky on with Alex English
they're both gay, we're talking about their experiences with that. Yeah,
I would lean on yeah, the oh, the friends for
some advice like this. I'm sure they will talk you
off the ledge of feeling rejected. I think that's just
the worst place to feel, especially with someone that's spending
their time with you. It's definitely not a real rejection
(15:35):
more than it's their own thing. And I think that
in order for you to get out of your own
head and blame yourself about it and feel that level
of rejection, you literally just need to maybe ask the
questions and open the room to communicate with her about
you having these sexual needs and desires.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Anyways, make sure you leave your.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Comments under If you want to see the full video
for this, make sure you join our patren patreon dot
com backslash Horrible Decisions. We have bonus episodes every week.
Once a month, we have a town hall and then
You've Got Decisions is ad free full video only on Patreon,
soe y'all make sure you go subscribe check that out,
(16:16):
and again we're here every Wednesday, so really excited to
continue giving you guys advice. If you want your letter read,
make sure you email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com.
We'll read it and also help us become New York
Times bestsellers. By ordering now your book No Holds Barred,
(16:38):
a dual manifesto on sexual exploration and power, available now
for pre order. We can't do it without you, guys.
Let's show everyone how strong the whole hive is.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Thank you guys. See you next week. Bye, y'all,
Speaks to the planet.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,
Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
B Money Podcast with taking Jay Valentine. You got the
Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
(00:22):
Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with
more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses
plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
you visit us. All right, listen, you.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Don't want to miss this.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect
dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got, Decisions, You've always
got Decisions.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Welcome y'all to another You've got the SI.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Send in your questions to us Decisions Pod at gmail
dot com. We want to know what the fuck is
going on with you? What's the see which a baby dady?
What's this see with Eniggy?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
You like? What's the sea with the bitches fighting with it? Word?
We're gonna tell you what your decisions are gonna be.
That's right.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And this one is really interesting because there's a lot
of exclamation points in the goddamn title, and she pretty
much admitted that at this point she's desperate. So let's
get right into this week's letter just that I'm desperate
at this point.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So first of all, I love the show. Even if I.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Don't agree with everything you ladies say, I can honestly
say I have learned so much about myself, most importantly,
how to navigate this world, keep an open mind, and
maybe give a little head or something to feel better.
All jokes aside, I really appreciate the show and staff. Okay,
now that I glaze y'all up, let's get to the
motherfucking teat. I'm a twenty five year old blocklack woman
(02:00):
with locks down my back and a thick ass to match.
I have been openly dating men and women for about
four years now. Over the past few months, about three
to four, I've been talking to this woman that's a
year younger than me.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
She made it clear that.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
She was by, but I didn't mind because I consider
myself by as well, even though I've.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Only been with like two to three guys.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Loo.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Anyways, she is beautiful, an educated black woman in that
ass who She's even thicker than me. My attraction to
her is undeniable. We have really good chemistry, go out together,
even some healthy PDA, but we have not fucked.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
In fact, she won't fuck first.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
She told me she wanted to wait about a month
of us talking before we get sexual, but would initiate
all of our makeout sessions right before bed.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It might even slip a finger at me.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
When I try to return the favor or take it
to the next level, she would tell me your head
or just completely tell me to stop. I really like her,
but I'm starting to feel bad because I want to
have sex but she doesn't. Having a good amount of
sex with a partner is really important to me. It's
kind of making me want to move on. Am I
wrong for thinking that way?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Is it too soon? Please help?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I don't know how we're going to fill in the
needed time for this episode because the girl's not that gay,
So I disagree. I think kind of like me and
and maybe in terms of speaking more from a polydynamic
when whether you're bisexual or not, and I think what
we've talked about me being bisexual, heater romantic. There's maybe
(03:42):
something that she's looking for in a woman. Her identifying
as bisexual may mean she enjoys the softness of women.
She enjoys like being a round woman. She enjoys the
care of a woman, the thoughtfulness that women bring. But
maybe she still just wants dick. So maybe she had
as she may identify as by not that gay, I
(04:02):
don't want to use that with.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Us, I feel. I mean, I'm being facetious. I'm making jokes.
You can make the jokes.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I just want to I want to say that this
woman wanting sex, this other woman, though she identifies as bisexual,
may genuinely like women but not want to have sex
with them. I think the same way, like, then you're
not that gay if you don't want to fuck women,
but you like being around them you are literacy, not
(04:30):
that gay. But also she fingers and makes out with
her and doesn't want to be touched. There's a lot
of no touch me lesbians.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Doesn't make them man less Leslians.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
They don't want to be hang out with you and
under and fingering is happening. She doesn't want to be fingered.
She says that of times slipsy I will also say
just to not and not to super seriousness up. But
if she's fingering you, making out with you, and stopping
everything when you go to advance, I would be curious
(05:00):
to know if you've had a deep conversation to if
there's any trauma associated with that. I know that, like
I was talking to King Noir, and fingering specifically is
something that he's like. Not every woman likes. I think
when we're young, fingering because of something fun that if
the wrong person does it, if it hurts the first time,
(05:22):
if someone is aggressive and doing it wrong, it's not
what I think. Fingering is something that a lot of
women don't like. Fingering is something that I think I
normally actually have to ask for, even for men. So
if she's stopping you from fingering her, but she's advancing
that with you.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's not just fingers. That's not what lesbian sex is
all about. No, no, no, of course it's not.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
But she only mentioned that they make out and they
get to finger, like she fingers her and she allows it,
but as soon as she goes to finger her, the
girl stop.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I actually don't. I didn't hear that at all.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I mean, if someone is slipping in a finger once
or twice, it just means she's trying to keep this
at bay so that the girl doesn't ask for more
and maybe touch.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
That's not a full on or it doesn't sound like
they've had sex. No, they haven't.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
For lesbians, fingering is sex. So she said slip a
finger in. No, she didn't say slip a finger. You
said the close finger. Yes, the girl will finger that's
what lesbian sex is. So if the girl was really
going in, that's considered sex. But she's not because she's
not trying to have lesbian sex. There is a or
that's weird because I don't consider fingering sex that's what
(06:28):
lesbians do. I mean, you want to fuck your girl,
and you guys are let's just say out and it's
quick and you're in a bathroom, or you're in a
movie theater. You could get fucked in the movie theater.
That's you consider fingering sex with men? No, I consider
dick and penetrative sex. That's how we define sex with men.
Right with women, it's a vaginal rubbing, oral or fingering.
(06:50):
So I mean all of my lesbian friends, either that
are married to women or in gay relationships, they talk
about how they just fucked it was hands actually, person
our Net shout out to her. Her book Mostly Dead
Things really great depiction of lesbian sex because it's a
lot of hand movement, talking about risk, thrusting, bucking someone
on the edge of like or in the back of
(07:11):
a car. Like, that's lesbian sex. All lesbians listening, you know,
can feel free to comment. But yes, this is how
we define sex. I think alternatively, I've dated this girl.
This girl likes kissing, hanging out, and the woman energy.
Like you said, however, she's not that gay. That's not bisexual,
and I'm kind of tired of the trope of like
I kissed the girl once, so I'm bisexual. Like fluidity
(07:35):
is different, enjoying sexual experience is different, much like if
a dude I know kissed the guy once but doesn't
want to have sex with him, didn't like it. I
wouldn't call him bisexual because he's not really pursuing anything.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I think this is super fake.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I think that's why you're frustrated because there's no real
explanation there. And most times people that are getting into
relationship with the opposite sex and call themselves bisexual.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Consistently have this issue.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
This is why lesbians don't like to date by sexual women,
because they be playing games, and this girl really sounds
like she's playing games. If you're not ready to go
the whole way, don't even just touch me down there,
like say that you're not.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Ready to have sex.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Instead, she uses the excuses because she's not that gay.
I think the other thing that sucks is when girls
are interested and they have been with women that have
more experience. I just I experienced this a lot, and
they don't know what to do. They're very scared they're
going to be bad, and so they just continue to
avoid it. But they only want to make out because
(08:38):
making how a safe Yeah, my answer is she's not
that gay.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
No matter how I love the show. Get to get
different answers from me because I couldn't disagree more. I
feel like I've said the same. No, I didn't, but
it's fine. I love that. This is why people send
an answers.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I think we align in some places and disalign in others.
This for me, having had during the writing process, have
my bisexuality questioned, even in the editing process of my book,
I guess I know we go by labels, but there's
so many ways in which I, as someone can enjoy
(09:14):
doing something sexual with someone else them not wanting them
to do the same. So I say that because I
don't like head. I love eating a bitchess pussy, I
absolutely love it. I'm someone who don't who doesn't enjoy
receiving oral so.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I am.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I would not like to be called not that gay
or not that bisexual because of the way women engage
in sex. I actually don't want to receive what you
have to offer me anytime. I've even mostly had threesomes
with women, I do all the work for them.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I don't care outside of making out.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
I genuinely also, because I don't like head, do not
care for the woman to engage with me.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
It doesn't make my sexuality any less.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Buy that that is a sexual act that I don't
enjoy having no, But.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
You said sex with women is oral making out and fingering.
I'm saying if I'm having sex with a woman and
I don't do the scissoring, I already said that doesn't
make sense to see at all. My point, she was
fingering the one girl she didn't want it. Read it again,
figuring is slipping a finger in someone's pussy, But she
(10:21):
would initiate all of our makeout sessions right before bed
and even slip a finger in to me if fingering
is a part of sex. What I'm saying is and
why I disagree with your take, which is fine because
all of the listeners can receive this information differently, which
is what I love about Potting. What I'm saying is
it does not make me any less bisexual that when
(10:44):
I'm in her, when I'm having sex with a woman,
I don't want them to do anything to me, which
this is what's happening here. The way the woman's frustration
is when she wants to actually give it back to
the girl, she doesn't want to receive it. I apologize
for any woman I've had sex with who I eat
her pussy out and maybe she wants to and I'm like, no,
I'm good. That has literally happened time and time again
(11:06):
and again. I don't go on dates with women. I
don't do all those things, but I identify as bisexual.
I wish a bitch would come up to me and
be like, h you're not that gay. Okay, whatever you
can you can really isn't relevant to the things that
you do at all. Because no touch lesbians are having
some form of misatic I.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Brought that up too, the no touch lesbians.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
They are not no touch lesbians. This is we don't
know this girl. No what I'm saying, this isn't a
no touch lesbian situation.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
They've been talking for a month, so to me, maybe
that conversation hasn't been had. She feels like she's being rejected.
I think it would be safe to say, Hey, so
I've tried to figure you a few times now and
you either tell me to stop or I feel like
you're making excuses. Why do you not want to be touched?
Do you not want to go that? She just feels
like she's rejected right now. She hasn't gotten real answers,
(11:54):
and I feel like maybe because you feel rejected right now,
I think you need to talk to her and see, Hey,
so you don't want me to finger you, but can
I eat your pussy? Like? I want to please you
and I feel like I haven't been able to do
that why And it's also not getting more from this girl.
There's no orl like. That's why I said, so ask hey,
(12:15):
I'm not allowed to finger you back when you finger me?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Can I eat your pussy? I really want to do pussy?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And all of these questions should be add so instead
of you feeling rejected and writing in and saying you're
desperate because you don't understand why this woman isn't going there?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Have you talked to her? Have you had the conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
About what her relationships with women look like? I've literally
invited and I've shared this on the pod. I don't
know how many years ago I was entertaining another bisexual woman.
She came over to my house. We were watching TV.
She was naked. We started cuddling. I go to rub
(12:56):
on her and she made me stop and I was like, well, bitch,
you naked with my bed.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I'm confused. She wanted me to take her out to
the movies.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
She literally was like, I don't want to have sex
until you take me out to the movies. And I
was like, well, gir you could put your clothes on,
because to me, though I'm bisexual, I don't want to
date you.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I don't want to take you will stand up for like,
you know, a one or two night thing.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I think with the level they're at hanging out PDA, yeah,
enjoying each other's company for this amount of time. Yeah,
I've been down this roads a hundred times, you know,
romantic relationships with women, and this is what I've seen.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I would say the rejection.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
We have to stop thinking that at certain points the
rejection is really about us, because why would people spend
this much time with you if there was a true
rejection there. I totally get the feeling because I remember,
if you've been listening to the show for a while.
A few years ago, I've met a guy at Dreamville
and we would spend all this time together and sex
wasn't happening, and I felt like he wasn't into me.
(13:58):
It didn't go that long, but I in this particular case,
there is a.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Trend with women that do this.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I'm excited to hear the update. I also want to
make mention too, as far as men go, I've actually
heard this a lot with gay men who are dating
guys that are straight and just there for like gay
sexual pleasure. Many times they're in kind of the opposite scenario.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
They're with these men.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
That only want to fuck them, be around them outside,
but it's like totally different vibes and it really makes
them feel rejected. So it's interesting because like women are
more apprehensive when it comes to the sexual side, where
men are more apprehensive for the emotions. So so many
you know, venting sessions or experiences with myself where you
(14:49):
kind of see the same thing with men total opposite
me and the student having great sex, nothing is happening
when we get outside of the bedroom, whereas with women,
I actually hear this exact story, like, damn, we're vibing,
but is she into me?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Is she gay? Does she like women? Is she scared
to start? Like?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
You know, and lesbians for a long time too, have
made us all feel like if you're by, we don't
want you, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I mean, when we had Punky on with Alex English
they're both gay, we're talking about their experiences with that. Yeah,
I would lean on yeah, the oh, the friends for
some advice like this. I'm sure they will talk you
off the ledge of feeling rejected. I think that's just
the worst place to feel, especially with someone that's spending
their time with you. It's definitely not a real rejection
(15:35):
more than it's their own thing. And I think that
in order for you to get out of your own
head and blame yourself about it and feel that level
of rejection, you literally just need to maybe ask the
questions and open the room to communicate with her about
you having these sexual needs and desires.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Anyways, make sure you leave your.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Comments under If you want to see the full video
for this, make sure you join our patren patreon dot
com backslash Horrible Decisions. We have bonus episodes every week.
Once a month, we have a town hall and then
You've Got Decisions is ad free full video only on Patreon,
soe y'all make sure you go subscribe check that out,
(16:16):
and again we're here every Wednesday, so really excited to
continue giving you guys advice. If you want your letter read,
make sure you email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com.
We'll read it and also help us become New York
Times bestsellers. By ordering now your book No Holds Barred,
(16:38):
a dual manifesto on sexual exploration and power, available now
for pre order. We can't do it without you, guys.
Let's show everyone how strong the whole hive is.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Thank you guys. See you next week. Bye, y'all,
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