November 22, 2024 • 39 mins
Mike Hill and Ephraim Salam engage in a heartfelt conversation with actress and influencer Apryl Jones about her journey of transformation. They discuss the impact of grief, personal growth, and the challenges of navigating relationships in the public eye. Apryl shares her experiences with alcohol, the importance of self-care, and the power of setting boundaries. The conversation also touches on the realities of being in the entertainment industry, particularly the misleading nature of reality TV, and the significance of being true to oneself. The episode concludes with reflections on personal relationships and aspirations for the future.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're back done that have been in that podcast another episode.
Thank you so much for hanging out with us and
supporting us as you continue to subscribe, continue to tell
a friend to tell a friend to join us each
and every week.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm your host, Mike Hill.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
And from Salam, thank you guys so much. We having fun,
We talk to people, we love, people we know, and
just allowing you to come into our lives, their lives,
and I think that's what I think that's what we need,
especially today.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Besparent, right yes, sett you in and letting people understand
exactly who we are, talking about our experiences, the things
we've done, the places we've been. And one of the
reasons I want to have the young lady that we
have on the show today because she's very transparent. I
got a chance to meet her a couple of months ago.
We shot a movie together and we just connected click
like she is one of the most beautiful souls that
(00:49):
you will ever meet in your life. In my life,
she's made a huge difference in my life in a
short amount of time that I've been around her. She
is an entertainer, she's an actress, she's a singer, she's
an influencer. She is a child of God. She is
an angel here on earth. She is April Jones hanging
out with us.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
And that was really good, right, But you know, I'm
tied to him for life, like it really was a
connection when we met, and he tells me, you know,
about myself on a daily He pours into me about
who I am and what I've been to him, and
I'm just so grateful for that. So thank you for
that introduction. It was really really, really really sweet to
(01:29):
make me cry.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, I mean it's a reciprocation, you know, And that's
what it's about.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Because the theme of today's show is transformation, and I
think we've all transformed in one way or the other
for the better, and especially this young lady right here.
I've seen her growth just from Afar and now seeing
it up close and personal, it just means so much
to me. And see how far you've come, and I
can't wait to see where you're going.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
To go with it.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, So how did that come about at the start
of it, because obviously we've been through a lot. You
told me about your background growing up in Chicago and
coming here and from where you were to where you are,
right now.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
How do you look at your growth? Are you proud
of it? Do you feel like you just got so
much more to do? How do you view it?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
I feel like I look at my whole life in
the spectrum of just like just and gratitude, grateful for everything,
whether it's the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it,
and I'm just so happy to be able to be
a person that I feel like I use those things
when I view my life to grow. I'm always a
(02:33):
person of like a student of growth and just wanting
to level up and be the best version of myself.
So all the bad stuff that I've gone through, I'm like, Okay, well,
how can I channel that in my life to just
being positive and like now being an adult and making
the proper choices for my life to choose better, want more,
to do better, be a better person to people that
I encounter, and all those things. And I think that,
(02:55):
of course I've made some mistakes, you know what I mean,
And whether that's publicly, personally whatever, I've looked at those
things and I've been like, Okay, I don't like how
I've hurt people off. I don't like how I've made
my I don't like how I feel. And I've been
in a space to be like, Okay, let me go
(03:15):
into therapy or let me stop drinking, or let me
you know what, because we all know when you know,
we do know, but it's like sometimes you just be like, well,
I'm gonna just keep doing it. Like I think I
got to a space where I was like, I'm tired,
I don't like this feeling anymore.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
That moment. Can you lock into a specific moment where
you were just like you know what? Fuck this?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well?
Speaker 4 (03:40):
More so recent was the grief of my dad was
that time? But I feel like it's different moments in
life when.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's like, explain what happens to your dad.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
So my dad passed away in October, thank you. And
my relationship with him was always very troubling. He was
incarcerated things like that, so he wasn't really present in
my life when I was a young girl. And when
I had my son and my daughter, I wanted him
to be present in my life and we had the
conversations and he wasn't consistent, and so I made a
decision to kind of like back off because I did
(04:09):
not want my children asking for him and all those things,
and so it got to a point where for five
years we kind of weren't really dealing with one another.
And then he ended up passing away, and it was
that like turning point for me where I was like, oh,
I'm fine, I'm okay, right, and then I was realizing like,
oh no, I'm not okay. Like I'm coping through drinking alcohol,
(04:32):
like half the time, I'm not even presently aware because
my body was in such shock and like it just
brought like certain things subconsciously out of me that I
didn't even know what was like not healed, and so
I was kind of like hurting the people around me
by when I was drinking, not even remembering some things
that I would say, or just like kind of not
presently aware. And I was like, oh no, oh no.
(04:54):
And then I look in the mirror and be like,
you hurting yourself. You don't even look like yourself. You
feel very unfamiliar, and you're looking at yourself in the
mirror like your body is changing. Because of the amount
of alcohol that I was drinking at that point, I
felt like shit every morning that I woke up, you
know what I mean. And then I start thinking about
my kids, like what are you doing? You have two kids.
(05:14):
You need to be presently aware, like you need to
be like so it with all these thoughts, and I
just realized like, no, I've gotta I've gotta change, I've
gotta be better and do better. And so I made
the choice to just be like, Okay, April, you're using
alcohol for what first step? Why are you drinking so much?
Because I'm trying to escape? Okay, well so now feel
(05:36):
your shit. Yeah, you gotta feel your feelings. So it
was like, oh, don't really want to do this, but
I did it. And when I said no to alcohol
was the moment that I sat in so much uncomfortability,
moments where I would just cry and be like, God,
I don't like this. But I went back to church.
I surrendered myself to God. I prayed. I've been I've
been journaling every day, meditating and just being like God,
(05:59):
I'm surrendering whatever you have for me at this point
because I cannot do this alone. Help me. And I
feel like I've literally been now on a in a
space now almost like three and three and a half
four months of just coasting. I've got over the hump
of like no desire to drink. I'm now onto just
like my body feels good, I'm working out, I'm presently aware.
(06:20):
I'm here now, like I feel like I've arrived back
into April's body, and it took a long time to
get here.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
You know what, it's great to hear how you can
lock in right, that's a tough question to ask yourself. Yeah, right,
It's to look in the mirror and be like, what
what the fuck.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Is going on? Right? Right?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
And a lot of people have people in their circle
that perpetuate that type of behavior. So when you do
make a change and when you decide, okay, it's time
for me to be the best me. Were there people
in your life that you lost along the way that
were tied to the old you and weren't willing to accept.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
This change you are trying to make for yourself, for sure?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
And I feel like even now sometimes with certain friends,
like if I speak a particular way, they're almost expecting
that it's going to be the old version of me,
And then I have to retrain them to be like,
that's not who I'm, not who I used to be.
I'm this, so don't talk to me like this or
when I now I'm like the fun life of the party,
and I still have that personality, but I no longer
(07:32):
want to be like that in a club environment or
like you know what I mean, like doing the old
things that I used to do. So now and I'm
like no, and I'm creating boundaries for myself. People are like,
what do you mean no, Like, come on, you don't
want to drink. You don't want to take a shot?
I said no, right, So now I'm finding myself going
kind of toe to toe with people about the facts.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I said, right, you need to drink, because.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
You don't you're trying to escape and I understand that,
but that's not me anymore. Or I can have fun
and not be drunk in an environment like last night,
I didn't drink. People like, you want to take a shot?
I don't. You want a juice shot? I don't. I
don't even want jews. I want to drink my water.
It's okay, but why does that always have to be
a thing, especially here in the entertainment business. It's like
you cannot drink without it being something I'm wrong. Yes,
(08:20):
I'm actually very healthy and I'm okay with being around
people who drink. No judgment because that was me at
a point, but I've crossed over well.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
A lot of times people can't elevate to your level.
They can't reach that level, so they want you to
stay at a certain level so they can feel more comfortable.
But it's important for you to continue to rise above
it all despite what they're saying, and even if they
are falling off, then they're not meant to go with
you in that next phase. We talk about that all
the time because we have friends in common that you
know obviously, you know the transition and the things that
(08:49):
I'm going through in my life. Thanks to her, I've
been going to church a lot lately and just like
hearing the Spirit and hearing the Lord and coming back
and getting these messages and not ignoring the mess that
I'm receiving as well. But we're also both public figures, right,
So when it's one thing to make that change among
people that know you and pray that they understand that
(09:10):
you're changing for the better and not just changing to
get away from them, but you're changing for the better
and hoping they can do the same thing. It's another
thing when you try and change the perception of people
on the outside looking in the fans so to speak
of what they expect of you. And we talked about
this even before in your podcast about when I came
out and talked about my past and how you know,
(09:32):
still this trepidation we speaking on it because they only
see the past.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
They don't see where I'm trying to go.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Not that you have to explain anything to them, but
has it been difficult because you want people to see
this new April because you're always very sweet, very innocent,
very bright enough. You always that person, but now going
from that crowd to a and establishing a different crowd
while trying to maintain the people that want to continue
to be your fans, feel like, you.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Know, I know people expect certain things of me, but
my life is not your life. I am not you,
and I am okay with I believe God put me
into this position because I was strong enough to handle it.
And so my thing is is like, although I know
that I've been in the entertainment industry, people are like, oh,
we know her from reality TV, and it's like, but
you really don't. That's still a level of editing that
comes into play and all these things, and I understand
(10:23):
that you look, you know, you love me. You don't
like me, and that's okay, but I don't it's I
don't want to say that I don't care. But I'm
not here to live for anyone outside of me. So
I'm a human. I'm going to be a human at
all times, be authentically myself. You may not like certain things,
but now I'm in a space where you're gonna see
me grow because I'm gonna put that out because that's
(10:44):
who I am. And so now I'm in a space
where you know I'm putting more things on that's positive
and being sober, and so people are like, wait a minute,
so she used to but then she's but that's a
part of growth. So you're gonna see me. I'm sharing
all these parts of me because I want people to know, like,
you don't have to hide who you are. You can
totally be a person who fucks up, a person who
(11:06):
makes mistakes, a person who doesn't like yourself when you
wake up some mornings, a person who can fall into
a depression, a person who can do like it's okay,
we have to be okay with those things. We're not perfect.
But the beautiful part about life is that you take
the ugliness and you turn it into beauty, right by elevating,
by growing, by pouring into by being a better version
(11:29):
of yourself, because that's all we can do. That's kind
of where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Have you ever coming from reality television and being in
that world giving people so much access to you, and
like you said, you know, they expect what they see
is the actual reality of whatever it is. Like editing
(11:53):
can make anything look any like. I mean, you could
turn something this big into a mountain through editing. I
remember that was they wanted to do. We want to
do more positive reality TV. And so they came out
and they shot this thing, uh with my wife and
my kids and all of that. And so when went
(12:14):
there and met with them, I was like, okay, well
just know we want creative control. And they were like, oh, well,
you know, we don't really And I said, okay, well,
we don't need to do this because I refuse to
let anyone.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Dictate what my relationship looks like to the world.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Now, get both of you guys have been on reality
TV and a lot comes with that. Yes, lord, some
good things, but a lot of negative things.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Right. Yes, My question to you is would you do
that again?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Like would you embark on that level of that journey again.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Not without having control. No, And I'm not really interested
in giving my power over anymore. I was young, you know,
I was in my twenties. I didn't know any better.
I was kind of the reason why I went on
TV in the first place was because I was in
a relationship and it was like beneficial for his career
and to you know, so it was like that whole thing.
It started off there and I was like, eh, well,
(13:18):
this is not what I expected. I never wanted to
be on reality team. That was crazy, never a part
of my life. Like I went to school, I worked
so hard to like get to where I was, come
into LA after graduating college, getting a bachelor's in radiation
science and coming here was like I want to do
for me art and singing?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
How I end up on reality and back it up
your bs.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
And what radiation science?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
I mean, I'm smart, smart because what you see is
you're just like, oh.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
Here you go.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
That's what they put out and and if somebody's been
on a reality show on the same thing, I just
went on there to support somebody. That's what was your role,
going in support somebody, and then you become a name yourself.
But what people don't understand about reality television that shit
ain't real.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
It really is not real.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
And I know I'm giving away some of the secrets
or whatever, but you become a character of what they
want you to become. It's like, we need you to
fit in this box. So you're going to be this
guy who's a cheater. No matter what you're trying to
do with your life, no matter what your career was
before that, you're going to be this because you had
admitted to this. So this is your role now, and
this is the type of storyline they're always going to
(14:28):
direct it towards. You got producers and I'm telling the
whole damn game. I'm go'n give a damn because I'm
not doing it again. You got producers on the side
over there basically holding up Hey talk about this, right?
They got notes in their phone over there talking to whoever, Hey,
ask her about that time that she slept with your husband.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
You know what I'm saying. That's basically what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
They're feeding you stuff, They're putting you in positions that
you would never be in. It's like all of a sudden,
me in April we could have met three months ago
and I met her for the first time. But then yeah,
on the show, to make it seem like we were
best of friends, that we hung out all the time.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Please talk about it. They did that to me, and
they made it seem as though I had these relationships
for years. So when things were happening, he'd be like, Wow,
she's a terrible friend. She's terrible, And I'm like, I
can't go on because I'm loyal like that, I'm filming
for y'all. I'm not even gonna go on, be like,
you know what, I ain't my friend. I'm gonna let
(15:25):
y'all ride, and because I signed up for it, right,
But it's like I ain't on that ship no more either.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
So you have beautiful children, right, how old are they?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
So my son just turned ten and my daughter is
eight and she'll be nine.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
So now they can see you, they can watch some
of the things. Have you had that type of conversation
with them, like, hey, this is you know, this isn't reality.
This wasn't the depiction that they're seeing their mom. Uh,
(16:01):
this wasn't really Have they broached that subject with you yet?
Speaker 4 (16:06):
No? I think they know, like, oh, you know, a
Marian's my dad, and like April Jun's is my mom.
I think like and they've seen things on the internet.
But I'm very open with my kids about everything. I
think that my kids are super intelligent, far beyond their years,
and so I talked to them about you know, sex
or body parts or you know, hey, if someone touches you.
(16:27):
You know, like I've talked to them about everything, remember
izing telephone numbers because if anything happened, y'all need to
be able to call signaling. I mean all the things.
I've talked to them about my mistakes and it doesn't
define me, and you're gonna make mistakes, it won't define you.
It's all about growing. So we do have these conversations,
but now they haven't really asked me or I've been like, mom,
were you this way on TV?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
They don't watch that stuff. We don't really hardly watch
reality in my house.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
That's good. It'll be middle school is when yeah, nothing.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Probably the other kids might bring it up and be.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Like that's the middle Yeah, middle school is like middle
school is the worst part of your educational journey.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
It's just what it is. They're unfiltered.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, and I had a thirteen year old and he's
beautiful and he's sweet, and I want him to be
a kid as long as he can be right, just
enjoy being a kid.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Be goofy. I want the goofy kid. I want the
goofy son.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I want him talking about roller coasters and video games.
Not but I know, like, I'm like, so we don't.
As parents, we don't. He doesn't have access to just
go online and just do anything. But when he gets
(17:47):
to school, his friends have phones, and when I tell you,
they look, I'm like, look, yeah, I don't want to
put him on blast.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
But he'll come home and be like, hey, man.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
The first day I met when he was in the
sixth grade, first day when he came home, he was
like Dad.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
The language, the language like WHOA.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I was like what, like what? He was like, oh,
I can't I can say those things. I was said, no, no,
you get you get a pass. He was like, I
can say it the only time. Man, what what what
are you hearing this school? This is the first day
of sixth, seventh and eighth grade.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Sixth grade for him?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
He was like, h mother, And I was like, what
kids are saying that? He was like, oh, that's not it.
And so like you could just see now he's in
the eighth grade, right, and so you could just see
a little bit of the innocence just chipped away from.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
My baby as you right, had a girlfriend, girl, Like
what are you? What does it even having a girlfriend me?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
She's my friend. And we we walked to the car
after school.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I'm like, you try to get me to watch somebody's
car and it's like, you see what you see.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It don't change years old. You're trying to teach your
kids something and you're trying to teach me.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Come on, man, this is about her.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Okay, I know, but you just about your kids right now.
You're talking about your kids.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Kid. I know you let your kids kids.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
We all do all he my kids are grown. I
kept my girls off the pole. I did my job.
I'm just I'm good.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
They look growing up in the public eye and raising kids,
it's tough to do. And that's why I talk about
these things. Play in the NFL for a long time,
been on television, writer, producer, all of those things, every
all the stuff that people say in.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
LA You be like, what do you do?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He's a writer on bell there, right, So you do
all of that, get you on that show.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
We're gonna get you.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
You for what part?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I forgot me too?
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Now, yeah, got you.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
You'll find out what that intails. Now hold on and man,
this this is my over here, purely professional, Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I love meeting people, the energy, And I've always said
that I've been blessed enough to only work with people
I want to work with, Like, I don't feel like
I have to go and do a job just to
do a job. I only want to work with people
I want to work with. And so us doing this
(20:23):
podcast and meeting these you know, great people like yourself,
And my mind is as you're talking, I'm.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
I promise you and I can't.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
My wife gets so mad at me because I'm always like,
you know what She's like, it's not a show, and
knows like that's how my as a creative, that's how
my mind works. So I'm sitting here and I'm just like, man,
she'd be doping this or she'd be dope in that.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
So just bear with me and appease me.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
But I think you'd be a tremendous asset to our
cast and what we're doing over at bel Air. And
let's hope they hurry up and pick up season four.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
So season four has got to be.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Can I just say this though, because with acting, I
feel like a lot of times when I get these roles,
I tend to play the pretty pretty girl, the trophy
wife and all that, which is easy for me. I'm
looking to be challenged and I'm looking for someone to
truly believe in the fact that I can actually dive
in and this face isn't just used just for like
(21:24):
give me it not to sound like crazy, but like
a crackhead role or like a role where I can
just like really dumb myself down in my look and
just dive in internally, Like I'm looking for something like that. Now. Granted,
whatever you have to give me on bel Air, I'm
willing to accept. But you know, I'm just I kind
(21:48):
of want to try something new.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Well, it's important as an actress or an actor to
push yourself. Nobody wants to be the same thing, just
like in.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Life, because it's too easy, right. You don't want to
just be known for the one thing that you do.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
And I think people pushing themselves outside of their comfort
zone that's where you can get the best out of yourself.
You know you and you know what you need to
do to push your limits. And so I appreciate you
saying that some people just like to play a safe.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well, because if you're playing who you are, then is
it acting or is it just playing yourself? You know,
I mean, the thing is you can be pretty and whatnot.
But I admire you saying that as well, because I
believe that's when people started taking Holly Berry seriously as
an actor. She wanted to play the part, and not
just not just Monsters Ball, but before that, when she
was in Jungle Field, when she basically begged to have
(22:40):
that role and she got that role as a crackhead,
and then all of a sudden, the same thing in
Monsters Ball or whatever, and that's what delivered her to
the height that she is now considering in the respect
that she has as an actress. But when he says this,
I'm gonna tell you he's genuine. And one thing I
love about him as my brother is like he's genuine.
And if he says he's gonna do it, he's gonna
(23:01):
do it. He'll say something to me, he say let's
do it, We're gonna do it. He'll listen to you
as far as like, if you've got script ideas or whatever,
he's there, he'll introduce you to the right people if
he can't do it for himself. What I love about
you is that you're genuine. What I love about you
both is that you're genuine and you're super nice. You
are willing to do a lot of things for just
about everybody. One of the things I've learned about all
(23:25):
of us is that sometimes are niceness. Is that a
word niceness? Niceness can be taken advantage of. Oh, yeah,
can be taken taken for granted. And what I've learned
is that I'm still a good person. I don't always have.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
To be nice.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Have you learned that there are times when you basically say,
you know what, I have the power and no, And
just because I've said yes so many other times, I'm
saying no to preserve or protect myself.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Now, Yeah, I mean I feel like it doesn't always
go over so well.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Obviously that part right, But that's part of your transformation though, Yeah,
because if it doesn't go over that means once again,
those people that don't understand that don't get it why
you're doing it, because you're not what we want to
talk about. I said, you're not being selfish. It's self
preservation anything that we do. So when we pour into
ourselves first and then we have something left over to
pour into others, and that's what we can do. Once again,
(24:24):
put your mask on first before you apply to someone else.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yeah, I mean, I definitely realize that, Like I've been
a giver. I thrive in that area though it's innately
within me to nurture or love on people and pouring
to and not expect anything in return. But I think
that eventually when we do that just naturally and innately,
at least for me, and I'm constantlytting people plug in
and plug in and plug in, at what point I'm
going to deplete myself? And so I'm realizing and I
(24:50):
don't like asking for help all the time. I'm getting
better at doing that now, because I mean, that's what
our friends are supposed to be for, Like they're supposed
to provide that just the way that I'm supposed to be.
There was a porn to me too, But yeah, I
realized that I was so depleted back then and I
wasn't really getting anything back that now I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Like, no, no, like this.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Is not working for me anymore. And I realized by
saying a simple no is so powerful. It has, like
we just were saying, it has removed certain people that
can't respect that and that don't honor that, and that's crazy.
You should not be in my life if you cannot
respect me saying no, bye, farewell, wish you nothing but
(25:37):
the best. But it's so much power in it for myself.
And what I'm realizing now is that I was not
always kind to me. I was not always pouring into april.
I was not always you know, we have to put
our we we learned this, put your own you know,
oxygen mask on before you can do it for someone else.
And I feel like it stands true to real life,
(25:57):
like I have got to take care of me, yes,
if I want to give to you. And I think now,
at thirty seven years old of age, I am just
learning this and I feel great. I feel good finally,
like oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
No, yeah, no, no.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
I'm so happy to say no. I'd be like no.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Sometimes you don't have to say anything and it speaks loud,
and sometimes you just gotta, hey, you know what, I'm
gonna give myself and give you boundaries. I don't have
to answer, so you can ask all you want to.
I'm just gonna be over here because you know that
you didn't pour back into me the last time or
the time before that, at the time before that, Because
like you said, how can you continue to give somebody
when you're depleted?
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I think it's also important though, to just say to like, hey,
I feel this way today and so although like you
need this today, I may not be able to give
that to you, but I can circle back, you know
what I mean. It's okay to be communicative about where
you are because there are times when, like I said,
I would just ignore those things and be like, Okay,
what do you need? Knowing good and god, dang on,
(27:01):
well I needed stuff too, you.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Know what, Like sometimes we need people in our lives
to help us realize that I wasn't great with no
until I met my wife. Yeah, and I'm I'm a
giver by nature. Period, That's just me, just like yourself.
And so I was in the league, so that meant
(27:26):
everybody else made it to the NFL, Like everybody played
on the team, everybody I knew, we all or together,
and you find yourself, you know, having a house, you
got eight nine people living in it, a bunch of.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Cars, like it was a lot, but it was my life.
It was just normal to me.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Right, you come home and the off season, we're gonna
do this, we're gonna take a trip, we're gonna have fun,
we're gonna do all of this.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
And that just was a cycle, a cycle, a cycle.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I used to like buy cars every year, and I
met my wife, my beautiful wife, and she wasn't impressed
with none of that. She didn't care about any of that.
And she used to just be.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Like, what, so you're buying another car? And I was
like yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
She was like, so, look, I can't tell you what
to do with your money, but just make it make sense.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
She's like, you have three what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
You can only drive one at a time.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Right, And so I never really thought about it like that.
I was just like, that's what we're all doing. And
and she was like, so how many people live in
your house? Like, I mean, what do you like it?
She just made she was like, look, I know they're
your friends, they're your family, all of that, and I'm
not saying anything like that.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
And people might listen to this.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
She was tripping the reality of it was she saw
what it was doing to me.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
For you, she saw exactly the toll it was taking on.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Met you know, and she and that's what that means.
And first you're resistant to that because that goes against
who you've been. But then when you accept it and
you realize it. I mean, we've been together twenty one years,
married eighteen and when I say like she is the everything, everything,
(29:14):
it just you.
Speaker 5 (29:15):
Sometimes you need that person who's your person.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
My mom, my mom always I gotta laugh because my
mom has a special way of of like saying something
to me without saying it, but like she just knows
her daughter. And my mom is a completely one hundred
percent Asian woman, very culturally different. And I'll be like, Mom,
(29:48):
just stop, and she's like okay, and she'll have a
way of being like and then she'll go behind me
and I find out she's like asking friends and being
like do you like this person? Do you what's she's
putting together the pieces without telling me, and she'll come
in front of me and be like, what's happening?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Are you okay?
Speaker 5 (30:03):
Are you happy? Are you this?
Speaker 4 (30:05):
And she'll assess and a lot of times I know
what she's doing. I'm like, how does she know without
really knowing? So I feel like my mom my mom
is that person for me, like she always just knows.
And sometimes I'm like it scares me because I'm please,
don't say this time, not that one yet then it
(30:26):
always pans out that she was absolutely on right.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Well, how she feel about this one? About she know
what I'm talking about?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Okay, she feels that, oh my.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
God, yeah, on the spot, Well.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
She feels that, shut up Melissa because Melissa's over there.
My mom just feels like she she feels like she
wants more.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Okay, boom oh, So do you feel like you deserve more?
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Yes, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I do. So when you feel like you deserve more,
do you feel like you're worth more?
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Okay, to turn the corner.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
I can't listen. So not to say that this person
he's a great human being, like amazing, but like you know,
like any relationship, you're going to have things where you
feel kind of like things can be worked on. And
sometimes people are in their off seasons, and so I'm
(31:35):
a person who respects the off season. But how long
is the off season going to lie? Because at a
certain point, my needs and my desires have to be met, right,
And so I think that's kind of where I've been at,
especially with this level of growth. It's like Okay, it's
like I'm doing this.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
And then there are some people that's always going to
be an Antalytica. The seasons ain't really going to change.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
It's just oh do you get them?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
But I'm saying is some people don't have the capability
of having that season. You ain't gonna have that green
ach or whatever. But anyway, we're gonna leave that alone.
We won't leave it alone because this is my and
once again, I love this girl. I love her so much.
Is you've made a huge, deep impact on my life.
Whether you know it or not, you really have. And
I've said that many times. But we were in every
(32:23):
show with our Unfiltered segment and you kind of touched
on a little bit a time or place where you've
done there, you've been that that kind of had an
impact on your life. You talked about how your father
and how that you know, caused you to start drinking.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Then you stop drinking.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Has there been another significant time in your life where
you say, man, I've been through the ring, I've done
this and it's just made me the person I am
today because of it. It could be something that is
a burden that turned into a blessing, or it could
have just been a life altering moment.
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie and I'm not
here to like bring up this person because We're in
a really good space. But like the stuff that I
dealt with the father of my kids, that was very
troubling for me, I think just behind closed doors, dealing
with it publicly, all of it really transformed me into
(33:15):
a level of patience, having a level of patience, being
able to shut the f up and learn how to
silence myself in the midst of loud noise, noises when
I knew like that certain truths weren't really being told.
So it put it put a level of I had
to have a I had to grow in that and
create a peaceful environment for myself when it was really
(33:38):
chaotic at a time because it was so much noise
and and and so much noise in the fact that
like publicly but personally, like I had kids that I
had to raise and so I was struggling having to
try to do that going in and out of court,
all the stuff that no one knows because I silenced myself.
But that was a really hard time for me. And
(34:00):
to still circle back around and say out loud, we cool.
I find that to be incredible. I'm really proud of
myself to be able to say that and not see
what it was, but look at it for what I
know it is now and where it's going to go.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
So now that's true transformation, absolutely, and I'm happy for
your transformation, your growth and everything you're doing, especially when
you're talking about when you went through what you went
through with a public figure, somebody that's highly entertaining, but
it has a lot of fans out there. No matter
what happens, those people, their fans are always going to
be on their side. And you know, obviously I've gone
(34:37):
through the same thing, public breakup with a person who
had a lot of fans, and the assumptions of what
is out there based on the reality or as opposed
to reality, night and day, night and day. But so
you fought through that, and you got through that and
you become the person you are and you still have
that relationship. So once again, as somebody's gone through that myself,
I applaud you.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I really applaud you. But you I was gonna say
to yeah, but just Lord knows, I pray, be praying.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't want to say nothing, and you know, and
even as a guy, you can't say anything like I
can't come back. I just let take it man something.
But then you know what we learned. We talked about this.
Sometimes you got to go through that. That makes you
stronger and ain't gonna kill you. It's just gonna tough
your skin. So there's gonna be something else that you
because of what you went through in that moment. You'll
(35:28):
look back on that maybe five years when I was like,
that's the reason why I had to go through that,
so I can deal with this.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
I just feel like for me, what it boiled down
to was can I sleep at night? Can I sleep
at night? Because a lot, if a lot weighs on
me with people because I love people so much. I'm
a people's person. I love people. His fourth mom such
a giver, So I like I really had had to
ask myself, can you sleep at night? And if you can't,
(35:55):
then you need to fix certain things. Oh, I can
sleep at night because I know that I'm not I'm
not out here malicious. My intentions aren't to hurt people.
And I'm really good at circling back all the time.
Like if I know that I've made you uncomfortable, I'm
always like, hey, yo, my bad. If I'm always really
good at that being self aware. But uh, half the
(36:15):
stuff that i'd have been through in this entertainment industry,
y'all can have it. I could sleep because I'm not
hurting anybody. I didn't make choices to hurt people. I
make choices because this was my life, this was where
I was. There was nothing intentional. I was out of
a breakup for this amount of time, like everything was
living just a real, authentic life. So I can sleep
(36:37):
at night.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
For words, I always say my conscious is clear. If
I could look myself in the mirror, say my conscience
is clear.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
And I really.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Do self evaluation when it comes to that, because I
hold myself accountable to everything.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
If I say my conscious is clear, yeah, I don't
care what you think. I'm gonna sleep well to night too.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
This lady is you don't see any wings on her,
but she's an angel, and I will.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Say that for each time.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
It's very long limbs.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, very long limbs and a very long, great career
ahead of you, great future. I cannot wait to see
everything that you're doing in your professional and your personal life,
including your movies and everything. Once again, our movie should
be coming out pretty soon. Yeah, step daughter two when
she plays a sexy coping to trace down the criminal
(37:24):
in them Heels.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
No man, but she was. She killed the role. She
killed the role skin And I appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
Let your girls always always here, seriously great phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
And I'll be seeing you soon on a set.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
You already know.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Come on, already said, so soon as you see it,
get picked up now, hit them up season four trip.
Speaker 5 (37:47):
I'm telling you, I'm writing. I'm writing now.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
And his brothers Deon Taylor too, so you know they
got the whole hitting Empire film group over there and
all that stuff. Like a lot of work, you know,
a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker 4 (37:58):
You will always consider me. I'll be right here.
Speaker 5 (38:00):
I'm ready to work.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
I'm ready to put in my time the efforts things
you need, help with anything. I'm here. I'm pretty smart,
I can write, I can do all things.
Speaker 5 (38:10):
There's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I'm just gonna be an assistant just on set in
casey I'll need an extra something.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Thank you for joining cut me off whether late episode.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
I've done, there have been that. I am salm, this.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Is I guess I'm just yeah done there there that's
kind of backwards, but you know, we kind of.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Back I'm done.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
There be that.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
There plenty of.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
That all the time. Thank y'all for subscribing. Thank you
for telling a friend to tell a friend, thank you
for liking, and uh, thank you for continuing to watch Man.
We'll continue to bring you great guests, entertainers, athletes.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Keep supporting these wonderful, incredible men. They're amazing. Thank you, guys, thank.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
You, thank you. See we got that from April Jones
on Instagram. April Jones, what's the ask for?
Speaker 4 (39:02):
I want to talk about it?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Okay, okay, we talked about everything else. I'm just gonna
ask you, Mama. She'll tell everything obviously. Don't play, Mama,
don't play.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
April.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
All right, and thank you guys for checking us out
on this episode.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
We will see you again next week
We're back done that have been in that podcast another episode.
Thank you so much for hanging out with us and
supporting us as you continue to subscribe, continue to tell
a friend to tell a friend to join us each
and every week.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm your host, Mike Hill.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
And from Salam, thank you guys so much. We having fun,
We talk to people, we love, people we know, and
just allowing you to come into our lives, their lives,
and I think that's what I think that's what we need,
especially today.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Besparent, right yes, sett you in and letting people understand
exactly who we are, talking about our experiences, the things
we've done, the places we've been. And one of the
reasons I want to have the young lady that we
have on the show today because she's very transparent. I
got a chance to meet her a couple of months ago.
We shot a movie together and we just connected click
like she is one of the most beautiful souls that
(00:49):
you will ever meet in your life. In my life,
she's made a huge difference in my life in a
short amount of time that I've been around her. She
is an entertainer, she's an actress, she's a singer, she's
an influencer. She is a child of God. She is
an angel here on earth. She is April Jones hanging
out with us.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
And that was really good, right, But you know, I'm
tied to him for life, like it really was a
connection when we met, and he tells me, you know,
about myself on a daily He pours into me about
who I am and what I've been to him, and
I'm just so grateful for that. So thank you for
that introduction. It was really really, really really sweet to
(01:29):
make me cry.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, I mean it's a reciprocation, you know, And that's
what it's about.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Because the theme of today's show is transformation, and I
think we've all transformed in one way or the other
for the better, and especially this young lady right here.
I've seen her growth just from Afar and now seeing
it up close and personal, it just means so much
to me. And see how far you've come, and I
can't wait to see where you're going.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
To go with it.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, So how did that come about at the start
of it, because obviously we've been through a lot. You
told me about your background growing up in Chicago and
coming here and from where you were to where you are,
right now.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
How do you look at your growth? Are you proud
of it? Do you feel like you just got so
much more to do? How do you view it?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
I feel like I look at my whole life in
the spectrum of just like just and gratitude, grateful for everything,
whether it's the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it,
and I'm just so happy to be able to be
a person that I feel like I use those things
when I view my life to grow. I'm always a
(02:33):
person of like a student of growth and just wanting
to level up and be the best version of myself.
So all the bad stuff that I've gone through, I'm like, Okay, well,
how can I channel that in my life to just
being positive and like now being an adult and making
the proper choices for my life to choose better, want more,
to do better, be a better person to people that
I encounter, and all those things. And I think that,
(02:55):
of course I've made some mistakes, you know what I mean,
And whether that's publicly, personally whatever, I've looked at those
things and I've been like, Okay, I don't like how
I've hurt people off. I don't like how I've made
my I don't like how I feel. And I've been
in a space to be like, Okay, let me go
(03:15):
into therapy or let me stop drinking, or let me
you know what, because we all know when you know,
we do know, but it's like sometimes you just be like, well,
I'm gonna just keep doing it. Like I think I
got to a space where I was like, I'm tired,
I don't like this feeling anymore.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
That moment. Can you lock into a specific moment where
you were just like you know what? Fuck this?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well?
Speaker 4 (03:40):
More so recent was the grief of my dad was
that time? But I feel like it's different moments in
life when.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's like, explain what happens to your dad.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
So my dad passed away in October, thank you. And
my relationship with him was always very troubling. He was
incarcerated things like that, so he wasn't really present in
my life when I was a young girl. And when
I had my son and my daughter, I wanted him
to be present in my life and we had the
conversations and he wasn't consistent, and so I made a
decision to kind of like back off because I did
(04:09):
not want my children asking for him and all those things,
and so it got to a point where for five
years we kind of weren't really dealing with one another.
And then he ended up passing away, and it was
that like turning point for me where I was like, oh,
I'm fine, I'm okay, right, and then I was realizing like,
oh no, I'm not okay. Like I'm coping through drinking alcohol,
(04:32):
like half the time, I'm not even presently aware because
my body was in such shock and like it just
brought like certain things subconsciously out of me that I
didn't even know what was like not healed, and so
I was kind of like hurting the people around me
by when I was drinking, not even remembering some things
that I would say, or just like kind of not
presently aware. And I was like, oh no, oh no.
(04:54):
And then I look in the mirror and be like,
you hurting yourself. You don't even look like yourself. You
feel very unfamiliar, and you're looking at yourself in the
mirror like your body is changing. Because of the amount
of alcohol that I was drinking at that point, I
felt like shit every morning that I woke up, you
know what I mean. And then I start thinking about
my kids, like what are you doing? You have two kids.
(05:14):
You need to be presently aware, like you need to
be like so it with all these thoughts, and I
just realized like, no, I've gotta I've gotta change, I've
gotta be better and do better. And so I made
the choice to just be like, Okay, April, you're using
alcohol for what first step? Why are you drinking so much?
Because I'm trying to escape? Okay, well so now feel
(05:36):
your shit. Yeah, you gotta feel your feelings. So it
was like, oh, don't really want to do this, but
I did it. And when I said no to alcohol
was the moment that I sat in so much uncomfortability,
moments where I would just cry and be like, God,
I don't like this. But I went back to church.
I surrendered myself to God. I prayed. I've been I've
been journaling every day, meditating and just being like God,
(05:59):
I'm surrendering whatever you have for me at this point
because I cannot do this alone. Help me. And I
feel like I've literally been now on a in a
space now almost like three and three and a half
four months of just coasting. I've got over the hump
of like no desire to drink. I'm now onto just
like my body feels good, I'm working out, I'm presently aware.
(06:20):
I'm here now, like I feel like I've arrived back
into April's body, and it took a long time to
get here.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
You know what, it's great to hear how you can
lock in right, that's a tough question to ask yourself. Yeah, right,
It's to look in the mirror and be like, what
what the fuck.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Is going on? Right? Right?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
And a lot of people have people in their circle
that perpetuate that type of behavior. So when you do
make a change and when you decide, okay, it's time
for me to be the best me. Were there people
in your life that you lost along the way that
were tied to the old you and weren't willing to accept.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
This change you are trying to make for yourself, for sure?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
And I feel like even now sometimes with certain friends,
like if I speak a particular way, they're almost expecting
that it's going to be the old version of me,
And then I have to retrain them to be like,
that's not who I'm, not who I used to be.
I'm this, so don't talk to me like this or
when I now I'm like the fun life of the party,
and I still have that personality, but I no longer
(07:32):
want to be like that in a club environment or
like you know what I mean, like doing the old
things that I used to do. So now and I'm
like no, and I'm creating boundaries for myself. People are like,
what do you mean no, Like, come on, you don't
want to drink. You don't want to take a shot?
I said no, right, So now I'm finding myself going
kind of toe to toe with people about the facts.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I said, right, you need to drink, because.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
You don't you're trying to escape and I understand that,
but that's not me anymore. Or I can have fun
and not be drunk in an environment like last night,
I didn't drink. People like, you want to take a shot?
I don't. You want a juice shot? I don't. I
don't even want jews. I want to drink my water.
It's okay, but why does that always have to be
a thing, especially here in the entertainment business. It's like
you cannot drink without it being something I'm wrong. Yes,
(08:20):
I'm actually very healthy and I'm okay with being around
people who drink. No judgment because that was me at
a point, but I've crossed over well.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
A lot of times people can't elevate to your level.
They can't reach that level, so they want you to
stay at a certain level so they can feel more comfortable.
But it's important for you to continue to rise above
it all despite what they're saying, and even if they
are falling off, then they're not meant to go with
you in that next phase. We talk about that all
the time because we have friends in common that you
know obviously, you know the transition and the things that
(08:49):
I'm going through in my life. Thanks to her, I've
been going to church a lot lately and just like
hearing the Spirit and hearing the Lord and coming back
and getting these messages and not ignoring the mess that
I'm receiving as well. But we're also both public figures, right,
So when it's one thing to make that change among
people that know you and pray that they understand that
(09:10):
you're changing for the better and not just changing to
get away from them, but you're changing for the better
and hoping they can do the same thing. It's another
thing when you try and change the perception of people
on the outside looking in the fans so to speak
of what they expect of you. And we talked about
this even before in your podcast about when I came
out and talked about my past and how you know,
(09:32):
still this trepidation we speaking on it because they only
see the past.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
They don't see where I'm trying to go.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Not that you have to explain anything to them, but
has it been difficult because you want people to see
this new April because you're always very sweet, very innocent,
very bright enough. You always that person, but now going
from that crowd to a and establishing a different crowd
while trying to maintain the people that want to continue
to be your fans, feel like, you.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Know, I know people expect certain things of me, but
my life is not your life. I am not you,
and I am okay with I believe God put me
into this position because I was strong enough to handle it.
And so my thing is is like, although I know
that I've been in the entertainment industry, people are like, oh,
we know her from reality TV, and it's like, but
you really don't. That's still a level of editing that
comes into play and all these things, and I understand
(10:23):
that you look, you know, you love me. You don't
like me, and that's okay, but I don't it's I
don't want to say that I don't care. But I'm
not here to live for anyone outside of me. So
I'm a human. I'm going to be a human at
all times, be authentically myself. You may not like certain things,
but now I'm in a space where you're gonna see
me grow because I'm gonna put that out because that's
(10:44):
who I am. And so now I'm in a space
where you know I'm putting more things on that's positive
and being sober, and so people are like, wait a minute,
so she used to but then she's but that's a
part of growth. So you're gonna see me. I'm sharing
all these parts of me because I want people to know, like,
you don't have to hide who you are. You can
totally be a person who fucks up, a person who
(11:06):
makes mistakes, a person who doesn't like yourself when you
wake up some mornings, a person who can fall into
a depression, a person who can do like it's okay,
we have to be okay with those things. We're not perfect.
But the beautiful part about life is that you take
the ugliness and you turn it into beauty, right by elevating,
by growing, by pouring into by being a better version
(11:29):
of yourself, because that's all we can do. That's kind
of where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Have you ever coming from reality television and being in
that world giving people so much access to you, and
like you said, you know, they expect what they see
is the actual reality of whatever it is. Like editing
(11:53):
can make anything look any like. I mean, you could
turn something this big into a mountain through editing. I
remember that was they wanted to do. We want to
do more positive reality TV. And so they came out
and they shot this thing, uh with my wife and
my kids and all of that. And so when went
(12:14):
there and met with them, I was like, okay, well
just know we want creative control. And they were like, oh, well,
you know, we don't really And I said, okay, well,
we don't need to do this because I refuse to
let anyone.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Dictate what my relationship looks like to the world.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Now, get both of you guys have been on reality
TV and a lot comes with that. Yes, lord, some
good things, but a lot of negative things.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Right. Yes, My question to you is would you do
that again?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Like would you embark on that level of that journey again.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Not without having control. No, And I'm not really interested
in giving my power over anymore. I was young, you know,
I was in my twenties. I didn't know any better.
I was kind of the reason why I went on
TV in the first place was because I was in
a relationship and it was like beneficial for his career
and to you know, so it was like that whole thing.
It started off there and I was like, eh, well,
(13:18):
this is not what I expected. I never wanted to
be on reality team. That was crazy, never a part
of my life. Like I went to school, I worked
so hard to like get to where I was, come
into LA after graduating college, getting a bachelor's in radiation
science and coming here was like I want to do
for me art and singing?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
How I end up on reality and back it up
your bs.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
And what radiation science?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
I mean, I'm smart, smart because what you see is
you're just like, oh.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
Here you go.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
That's what they put out and and if somebody's been
on a reality show on the same thing, I just
went on there to support somebody. That's what was your role,
going in support somebody, and then you become a name yourself.
But what people don't understand about reality television that shit
ain't real.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
It really is not real.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
And I know I'm giving away some of the secrets
or whatever, but you become a character of what they
want you to become. It's like, we need you to
fit in this box. So you're going to be this
guy who's a cheater. No matter what you're trying to
do with your life, no matter what your career was
before that, you're going to be this because you had
admitted to this. So this is your role now, and
this is the type of storyline they're always going to
(14:28):
direct it towards. You got producers and I'm telling the
whole damn game. I'm go'n give a damn because I'm
not doing it again. You got producers on the side
over there basically holding up Hey talk about this, right?
They got notes in their phone over there talking to whoever, Hey,
ask her about that time that she slept with your husband.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
You know what I'm saying. That's basically what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
They're feeding you stuff, They're putting you in positions that
you would never be in. It's like all of a sudden,
me in April we could have met three months ago
and I met her for the first time. But then yeah,
on the show, to make it seem like we were
best of friends, that we hung out all the time.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Please talk about it. They did that to me, and
they made it seem as though I had these relationships
for years. So when things were happening, he'd be like, Wow,
she's a terrible friend. She's terrible, And I'm like, I
can't go on because I'm loyal like that, I'm filming
for y'all. I'm not even gonna go on, be like,
you know what, I ain't my friend. I'm gonna let
(15:25):
y'all ride, and because I signed up for it, right,
But it's like I ain't on that ship no more either.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
So you have beautiful children, right, how old are they?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
So my son just turned ten and my daughter is
eight and she'll be nine.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
So now they can see you, they can watch some
of the things. Have you had that type of conversation
with them, like, hey, this is you know, this isn't reality.
This wasn't the depiction that they're seeing their mom. Uh,
(16:01):
this wasn't really Have they broached that subject with you yet?
Speaker 4 (16:06):
No? I think they know, like, oh, you know, a
Marian's my dad, and like April Jun's is my mom.
I think like and they've seen things on the internet.
But I'm very open with my kids about everything. I
think that my kids are super intelligent, far beyond their years,
and so I talked to them about you know, sex
or body parts or you know, hey, if someone touches you.
(16:27):
You know, like I've talked to them about everything, remember
izing telephone numbers because if anything happened, y'all need to
be able to call signaling. I mean all the things.
I've talked to them about my mistakes and it doesn't
define me, and you're gonna make mistakes, it won't define you.
It's all about growing. So we do have these conversations,
but now they haven't really asked me or I've been like, mom,
were you this way on TV?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
They don't watch that stuff. We don't really hardly watch
reality in my house.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
That's good. It'll be middle school is when yeah, nothing.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Probably the other kids might bring it up and be.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Like that's the middle Yeah, middle school is like middle
school is the worst part of your educational journey.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
It's just what it is. They're unfiltered.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, and I had a thirteen year old and he's
beautiful and he's sweet, and I want him to be
a kid as long as he can be right, just
enjoy being a kid.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Be goofy. I want the goofy kid. I want the
goofy son.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I want him talking about roller coasters and video games.
Not but I know, like, I'm like, so we don't.
As parents, we don't. He doesn't have access to just
go online and just do anything. But when he gets
(17:47):
to school, his friends have phones, and when I tell you,
they look, I'm like, look, yeah, I don't want to
put him on blast.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
But he'll come home and be like, hey, man.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
The first day I met when he was in the
sixth grade, first day when he came home, he was
like Dad.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
The language, the language like WHOA.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I was like what, like what? He was like, oh,
I can't I can say those things. I was said, no, no,
you get you get a pass. He was like, I
can say it the only time. Man, what what what
are you hearing this school? This is the first day
of sixth, seventh and eighth grade.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Sixth grade for him?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
He was like, h mother, And I was like, what
kids are saying that? He was like, oh, that's not it.
And so like you could just see now he's in
the eighth grade, right, and so you could just see
a little bit of the innocence just chipped away from.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
My baby as you right, had a girlfriend, girl, Like
what are you? What does it even having a girlfriend me?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
She's my friend. And we we walked to the car
after school.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I'm like, you try to get me to watch somebody's
car and it's like, you see what you see.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It don't change years old. You're trying to teach your
kids something and you're trying to teach me.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Come on, man, this is about her.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Okay, I know, but you just about your kids right now.
You're talking about your kids.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Kid. I know you let your kids kids.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
We all do all he my kids are grown. I
kept my girls off the pole. I did my job.
I'm just I'm good.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
They look growing up in the public eye and raising kids,
it's tough to do. And that's why I talk about
these things. Play in the NFL for a long time,
been on television, writer, producer, all of those things, every
all the stuff that people say in.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
LA You be like, what do you do?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He's a writer on bell there, right, So you do
all of that, get you on that show.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
We're gonna get you.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
You for what part?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I forgot me too?
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Now, yeah, got you.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
You'll find out what that intails. Now hold on and man,
this this is my over here, purely professional, Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I love meeting people, the energy, And I've always said
that I've been blessed enough to only work with people
I want to work with, Like, I don't feel like
I have to go and do a job just to
do a job. I only want to work with people
I want to work with. And so us doing this
(20:23):
podcast and meeting these you know, great people like yourself,
And my mind is as you're talking, I'm.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
I promise you and I can't.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
My wife gets so mad at me because I'm always like,
you know what She's like, it's not a show, and
knows like that's how my as a creative, that's how
my mind works. So I'm sitting here and I'm just like, man,
she'd be doping this or she'd be dope in that.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
So just bear with me and appease me.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
But I think you'd be a tremendous asset to our
cast and what we're doing over at bel Air. And
let's hope they hurry up and pick up season four.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
So season four has got to be.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Can I just say this though, because with acting, I
feel like a lot of times when I get these roles,
I tend to play the pretty pretty girl, the trophy
wife and all that, which is easy for me. I'm
looking to be challenged and I'm looking for someone to
truly believe in the fact that I can actually dive
in and this face isn't just used just for like
(21:24):
give me it not to sound like crazy, but like
a crackhead role or like a role where I can
just like really dumb myself down in my look and
just dive in internally, Like I'm looking for something like that. Now. Granted,
whatever you have to give me on bel Air, I'm
willing to accept. But you know, I'm just I kind
(21:48):
of want to try something new.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Well, it's important as an actress or an actor to
push yourself. Nobody wants to be the same thing, just
like in.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Life, because it's too easy, right. You don't want to
just be known for the one thing that you do.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
And I think people pushing themselves outside of their comfort
zone that's where you can get the best out of yourself.
You know you and you know what you need to
do to push your limits. And so I appreciate you
saying that some people just like to play a safe.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well, because if you're playing who you are, then is
it acting or is it just playing yourself? You know,
I mean, the thing is you can be pretty and whatnot.
But I admire you saying that as well, because I
believe that's when people started taking Holly Berry seriously as
an actor. She wanted to play the part, and not
just not just Monsters Ball, but before that, when she
was in Jungle Field, when she basically begged to have
(22:40):
that role and she got that role as a crackhead,
and then all of a sudden, the same thing in
Monsters Ball or whatever, and that's what delivered her to
the height that she is now considering in the respect
that she has as an actress. But when he says this,
I'm gonna tell you he's genuine. And one thing I
love about him as my brother is like he's genuine.
And if he says he's gonna do it, he's gonna
(23:01):
do it. He'll say something to me, he say let's
do it, We're gonna do it. He'll listen to you
as far as like, if you've got script ideas or whatever,
he's there, he'll introduce you to the right people if
he can't do it for himself. What I love about
you is that you're genuine. What I love about you
both is that you're genuine and you're super nice. You
are willing to do a lot of things for just
about everybody. One of the things I've learned about all
(23:25):
of us is that sometimes are niceness. Is that a
word niceness? Niceness can be taken advantage of. Oh, yeah,
can be taken taken for granted. And what I've learned
is that I'm still a good person. I don't always have.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
To be nice.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Have you learned that there are times when you basically say,
you know what, I have the power and no, And
just because I've said yes so many other times, I'm
saying no to preserve or protect myself.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Now, Yeah, I mean I feel like it doesn't always
go over so well.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Obviously that part right, But that's part of your transformation though, Yeah,
because if it doesn't go over that means once again,
those people that don't understand that don't get it why
you're doing it, because you're not what we want to
talk about. I said, you're not being selfish. It's self
preservation anything that we do. So when we pour into
ourselves first and then we have something left over to
pour into others, and that's what we can do. Once again,
(24:24):
put your mask on first before you apply to someone else.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yeah, I mean, I definitely realize that, Like I've been
a giver. I thrive in that area though it's innately
within me to nurture or love on people and pouring
to and not expect anything in return. But I think
that eventually when we do that just naturally and innately,
at least for me, and I'm constantlytting people plug in
and plug in and plug in, at what point I'm
going to deplete myself? And so I'm realizing and I
(24:50):
don't like asking for help all the time. I'm getting
better at doing that now, because I mean, that's what
our friends are supposed to be for, Like they're supposed
to provide that just the way that I'm supposed to be.
There was a porn to me too, But yeah, I
realized that I was so depleted back then and I
wasn't really getting anything back that now I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Like, no, no, like this.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Is not working for me anymore. And I realized by
saying a simple no is so powerful. It has, like
we just were saying, it has removed certain people that
can't respect that and that don't honor that, and that's crazy.
You should not be in my life if you cannot
respect me saying no, bye, farewell, wish you nothing but
(25:37):
the best. But it's so much power in it for myself.
And what I'm realizing now is that I was not
always kind to me. I was not always pouring into april.
I was not always you know, we have to put
our we we learned this, put your own you know,
oxygen mask on before you can do it for someone else.
And I feel like it stands true to real life,
(25:57):
like I have got to take care of me, yes,
if I want to give to you. And I think now,
at thirty seven years old of age, I am just
learning this and I feel great. I feel good finally,
like oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
No, yeah, no, no.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
I'm so happy to say no. I'd be like no.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Sometimes you don't have to say anything and it speaks loud,
and sometimes you just gotta, hey, you know what, I'm
gonna give myself and give you boundaries. I don't have
to answer, so you can ask all you want to.
I'm just gonna be over here because you know that
you didn't pour back into me the last time or
the time before that, at the time before that, Because
like you said, how can you continue to give somebody
when you're depleted?
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I think it's also important though, to just say to like, hey,
I feel this way today and so although like you
need this today, I may not be able to give
that to you, but I can circle back, you know
what I mean. It's okay to be communicative about where
you are because there are times when, like I said,
I would just ignore those things and be like, Okay,
what do you need? Knowing good and god, dang on,
(27:01):
well I needed stuff too, you.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Know what, Like sometimes we need people in our lives
to help us realize that I wasn't great with no
until I met my wife. Yeah, and I'm I'm a
giver by nature. Period, That's just me, just like yourself.
And so I was in the league, so that meant
(27:26):
everybody else made it to the NFL, Like everybody played
on the team, everybody I knew, we all or together,
and you find yourself, you know, having a house, you
got eight nine people living in it, a bunch of.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Cars, like it was a lot, but it was my life.
It was just normal to me.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Right, you come home and the off season, we're gonna
do this, we're gonna take a trip, we're gonna have fun,
we're gonna do all of this.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
And that just was a cycle, a cycle, a cycle.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
I used to like buy cars every year, and I
met my wife, my beautiful wife, and she wasn't impressed
with none of that. She didn't care about any of that.
And she used to just be.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Like, what, so you're buying another car? And I was
like yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
She was like, so, look, I can't tell you what
to do with your money, but just make it make sense.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
She's like, you have three what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
You can only drive one at a time.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Right, And so I never really thought about it like that.
I was just like, that's what we're all doing. And
and she was like, so how many people live in
your house? Like, I mean, what do you like it?
She just made she was like, look, I know they're
your friends, they're your family, all of that, and I'm
not saying anything like that.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
And people might listen to this.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
She was tripping the reality of it was she saw
what it was doing to me.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
For you, she saw exactly the toll it was taking on.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Met you know, and she and that's what that means.
And first you're resistant to that because that goes against
who you've been. But then when you accept it and
you realize it. I mean, we've been together twenty one years,
married eighteen and when I say like she is the everything, everything,
(29:14):
it just you.
Speaker 5 (29:15):
Sometimes you need that person who's your person.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
My mom, my mom always I gotta laugh because my
mom has a special way of of like saying something
to me without saying it, but like she just knows
her daughter. And my mom is a completely one hundred
percent Asian woman, very culturally different. And I'll be like, Mom,
(29:48):
just stop, and she's like okay, and she'll have a
way of being like and then she'll go behind me
and I find out she's like asking friends and being
like do you like this person? Do you what's she's
putting together the pieces without telling me, and she'll come
in front of me and be like, what's happening?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Are you okay?
Speaker 5 (30:03):
Are you happy? Are you this?
Speaker 4 (30:05):
And she'll assess and a lot of times I know
what she's doing. I'm like, how does she know without
really knowing? So I feel like my mom my mom
is that person for me, like she always just knows.
And sometimes I'm like it scares me because I'm please,
don't say this time, not that one yet then it
(30:26):
always pans out that she was absolutely on right.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Well, how she feel about this one? About she know
what I'm talking about?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Okay, she feels that, oh my.
Speaker 5 (30:41):
God, yeah, on the spot, Well.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
She feels that, shut up Melissa because Melissa's over there.
My mom just feels like she she feels like she
wants more.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Okay, boom oh, So do you feel like you deserve more?
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Yes, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I do. So when you feel like you deserve more,
do you feel like you're worth more?
Speaker 5 (31:11):
Okay, to turn the corner.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
I can't listen. So not to say that this person
he's a great human being, like amazing, but like you know,
like any relationship, you're going to have things where you
feel kind of like things can be worked on. And
sometimes people are in their off seasons, and so I'm
(31:35):
a person who respects the off season. But how long
is the off season going to lie? Because at a
certain point, my needs and my desires have to be met, right,
And so I think that's kind of where I've been at,
especially with this level of growth. It's like Okay, it's
like I'm doing this.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
And then there are some people that's always going to
be an Antalytica. The seasons ain't really going to change.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
It's just oh do you get them?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
But I'm saying is some people don't have the capability
of having that season. You ain't gonna have that green
ach or whatever. But anyway, we're gonna leave that alone.
We won't leave it alone because this is my and
once again, I love this girl. I love her so much.
Is you've made a huge, deep impact on my life.
Whether you know it or not, you really have. And
I've said that many times. But we were in every
(32:23):
show with our Unfiltered segment and you kind of touched
on a little bit a time or place where you've
done there, you've been that that kind of had an
impact on your life. You talked about how your father
and how that you know, caused you to start drinking.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Then you stop drinking.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Has there been another significant time in your life where
you say, man, I've been through the ring, I've done
this and it's just made me the person I am
today because of it. It could be something that is
a burden that turned into a blessing, or it could
have just been a life altering moment.
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie and I'm not
here to like bring up this person because We're in
a really good space. But like the stuff that I
dealt with the father of my kids, that was very
troubling for me, I think just behind closed doors, dealing
with it publicly, all of it really transformed me into
(33:15):
a level of patience, having a level of patience, being
able to shut the f up and learn how to
silence myself in the midst of loud noise, noises when
I knew like that certain truths weren't really being told.
So it put it put a level of I had
to have a I had to grow in that and
create a peaceful environment for myself when it was really
(33:38):
chaotic at a time because it was so much noise
and and and so much noise in the fact that
like publicly but personally, like I had kids that I
had to raise and so I was struggling having to
try to do that going in and out of court,
all the stuff that no one knows because I silenced myself.
But that was a really hard time for me. And
(34:00):
to still circle back around and say out loud, we cool.
I find that to be incredible. I'm really proud of
myself to be able to say that and not see
what it was, but look at it for what I
know it is now and where it's going to go.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
So now that's true transformation, absolutely, and I'm happy for
your transformation, your growth and everything you're doing, especially when
you're talking about when you went through what you went
through with a public figure, somebody that's highly entertaining, but
it has a lot of fans out there. No matter
what happens, those people, their fans are always going to
be on their side. And you know, obviously I've gone
(34:37):
through the same thing, public breakup with a person who
had a lot of fans, and the assumptions of what
is out there based on the reality or as opposed
to reality, night and day, night and day. But so
you fought through that, and you got through that and
you become the person you are and you still have
that relationship. So once again, as somebody's gone through that myself,
I applaud you.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I really applaud you. But you I was gonna say
to yeah, but just Lord knows, I pray, be praying.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't want to say nothing, and you know, and
even as a guy, you can't say anything like I
can't come back. I just let take it man something.
But then you know what we learned. We talked about this.
Sometimes you got to go through that. That makes you
stronger and ain't gonna kill you. It's just gonna tough
your skin. So there's gonna be something else that you
because of what you went through in that moment. You'll
(35:28):
look back on that maybe five years when I was like,
that's the reason why I had to go through that,
so I can deal with this.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
I just feel like for me, what it boiled down
to was can I sleep at night? Can I sleep
at night? Because a lot, if a lot weighs on
me with people because I love people so much. I'm
a people's person. I love people. His fourth mom such
a giver, So I like I really had had to
ask myself, can you sleep at night? And if you can't,
(35:55):
then you need to fix certain things. Oh, I can
sleep at night because I know that I'm not I'm
not out here malicious. My intentions aren't to hurt people.
And I'm really good at circling back all the time.
Like if I know that I've made you uncomfortable, I'm
always like, hey, yo, my bad. If I'm always really
good at that being self aware. But uh, half the
(36:15):
stuff that i'd have been through in this entertainment industry,
y'all can have it. I could sleep because I'm not
hurting anybody. I didn't make choices to hurt people. I
make choices because this was my life, this was where
I was. There was nothing intentional. I was out of
a breakup for this amount of time, like everything was
living just a real, authentic life. So I can sleep
(36:37):
at night.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
For words, I always say my conscious is clear. If
I could look myself in the mirror, say my conscience
is clear.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
And I really.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Do self evaluation when it comes to that, because I
hold myself accountable to everything.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
If I say my conscious is clear, yeah, I don't
care what you think. I'm gonna sleep well to night too.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
This lady is you don't see any wings on her,
but she's an angel, and I will.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Say that for each time.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
It's very long limbs.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, very long limbs and a very long, great career
ahead of you, great future. I cannot wait to see
everything that you're doing in your professional and your personal life,
including your movies and everything. Once again, our movie should
be coming out pretty soon. Yeah, step daughter two when
she plays a sexy coping to trace down the criminal
(37:24):
in them Heels.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
No man, but she was. She killed the role. She
killed the role skin And I appreciate you.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
Let your girls always always here, seriously great phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
And I'll be seeing you soon on a set.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
You already know.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Come on, already said, so soon as you see it,
get picked up now, hit them up season four trip.
Speaker 5 (37:47):
I'm telling you, I'm writing. I'm writing now.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
And his brothers Deon Taylor too, so you know they
got the whole hitting Empire film group over there and
all that stuff. Like a lot of work, you know,
a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker 4 (37:58):
You will always consider me. I'll be right here.
Speaker 5 (38:00):
I'm ready to work.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
I'm ready to put in my time the efforts things
you need, help with anything. I'm here. I'm pretty smart,
I can write, I can do all things.
Speaker 5 (38:10):
There's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I'm just gonna be an assistant just on set in
casey I'll need an extra something.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Thank you for joining cut me off whether late episode.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
I've done, there have been that. I am salm, this.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Is I guess I'm just yeah done there there that's
kind of backwards, but you know, we kind of.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Back I'm done.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
There be that.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
There plenty of.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
That all the time. Thank y'all for subscribing. Thank you
for telling a friend to tell a friend, thank you
for liking, and uh, thank you for continuing to watch Man.
We'll continue to bring you great guests, entertainers, athletes.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Keep supporting these wonderful, incredible men. They're amazing. Thank you, guys, thank.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
You, thank you. See we got that from April Jones
on Instagram. April Jones, what's the ask for?
Speaker 4 (39:02):
I want to talk about it?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Okay, okay, we talked about everything else. I'm just gonna
ask you, Mama. She'll tell everything obviously. Don't play, Mama,
don't play.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
April.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
All right, and thank you guys for checking us out
on this episode.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
We will see you again next week
Hosts And Creators
Mike Hill
Eunice Elliott
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