MELYSSA FORD - Hot & Raw Poor Man's Sushi

From Video Vixen to Vocal Advocate: Melyssa Ford Serves Up
Real Talk and 'Poor Man's Sushi' | Eating While Broke
Join host Coline Witt for a raw, unfiltered conversation with
legendary media personality Melyssa Ford as she transforms
everyday pantry staples into her signature 'Poor Man's Sushi'
while dishing about her remarkable evolution from music video
icon to powerful women's health advocate.

 

Connect:

@wittcoline @melyssaford

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke.
I'm your host, Colleen Witt, and today we have a
very hot and bothered guest up in the building. Melissa
Ford is in the building. Who hoo do who who?
I'm excited wearing New York shout out to WEEZYWT have
studios for having us and allowing us to, please Jesus
not burn down the studio with our makeshift kitchen.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I promise I will not burn down the studio.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Yes, please, please don't.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Very very cognizant of the fact that this is you know,
and I told him, I said, if we burn it,
we'll pay for it.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I was like, keep right, I pray we don't.
What are you gonna have us eating today?

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Okay, So this is a dish that I call poor
man sushi. And I remember when I sent you like
the ingredients, you were like, what the fuck is this?

Speaker 1 (00:50):
What is this? I love though that you were fast
with it. I was like, oh, her struggle was real, Yeah,
it was. So. I've always been a jim rat.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
I've all always been into, you know, physical fitness. I
started gymnastics when I was two years old. Shit, I
was in baby like Jack Butler's Baby School for swimming
when I was six months, Like, my parents like really
just like threw me back in.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
You know, Oh okay, she was just swimming amniotic fluid.
You know, she'll be fine. Wow. So that's really young. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Well, I mean like there's a lot of baby school,
you know, swimming schools for babies and stuff like that,
and they.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Just kind of like really take to water very quickly.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
So my parents just kind of like put me in
that little situation.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
This is really like cooking. Hold on, yo. That is
like I was thinking, you know, we got this shout
outs to Walmar, but we we did buy this and
it was like a fifteen dollars like a hot plate,
and I was thinking, I wonder if this thing's really
gonna work. This thing, this thing you can have this
in like a college dorm or something like that's official.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Yeah and so and so anyways, I was saying, how
I'm in. I've always been into physical fitness. So I
used to just kind of make this meal out of
like you know, can tuna fried up with a little
bit of spices and stuff like that, white rice and
some you know, just kind of mixed vegetables and I
just would get my carbs and my protein in in

(02:14):
a really simple way. You know, food was fuel, you
know when I was in my super duper gym rat days.
Now you're lucky to I'm lucky if I see the
inside of a gym like three to four times a week.

(02:49):
When you hit your forties, ship really becomes very real
as to how you have to.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Stay stay on top of your.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Fitness regime and your regimen and your your dietary regimen.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Things have to change.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Alcohol can't be you know, just binging and shit like
that anymore, and you got to start lifting heavy.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Cardio out the window.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
You can do a little bit of cardio, but mainly
as women especially, you have to focus on lifting heavy.
Why because we lose bone density as we get older, you.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Know, before before before we get into scaring me away
from growing older. You know, It's funny because I listened
to Hot and Bothered and I don't want to detour,
but I called I definitely called Dori and was like, yo,
I don't I don't know if I'm feeling like what's
about to happen to me? I mean, I'm in the
forty year land and listening to your show. It really

(03:44):
did showcase like I have no idea. They definitely don't
talk about this enough to women, because I was like, WHOA.
I was also very scared because you're like, no, there
was not about to get real real quick.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
There was a point in time like the medical industry
has not been kind to women, you know. And don't
even get me started on what the medical industry has
done to black people and black women.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Okay, they basically used to experiment on our.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Bodies, but women in general, menopause was just not seen
as anything that the medical industry felt like they needed
to study. They didn't need to study our bodies because
you know, we were basically given the message that after
our child bearing years, we have zero value. That was
That's literally the message that was given to us. And

(04:30):
what boggles my mind is that this has the potential
to be a multi billion dollar industry with all of
the things that we need.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
I have in the last.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Six years since I started perimenopause, I have seen more
doctors and gone to hospitals and doctors offices more times
than I have in my entire life. Tenfold. I was
I've been I've been an.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Extremely healthy person my whole life.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
You know, Thank God, I'm not somebody who suffered from
indiby triosis, Pico's fibroids, all horrible things that some of
my girlfriends and other women suffer from.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
But I had like wicked cramps, I've had.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
I've had a miscarriage, I've had I've had I've had
stuff happen, you.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Know, but relatively, I've been very, very healthy. Well, take
me back to before we get into yeah, scaring our.
If you guys want to hear more about menopause and
ed and all that, you need to check out Hot
and Bothered. But before we get into that, let's get
back to get a closer look at Melissa Ford, because
you know, I don't think we really got to know

(05:37):
who you are, and I think just telling us, like,
take us back to what exactly was going on during
the making of this dish.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
Okay, so the making of this dish.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
Get it?

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah, there we go, the making of this dish.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
I had just moved to New York.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
I was living in Stuyvesant Heights, this Bedstye, which is
really funny because when I was fifteen years old, I
had a premonition that I was going to live in Bedsty.
And this is before I even knew that New York
was even divided up into like five boroughs, which is
like wild.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Hold, I'm going to hold that off. But you're originally
from Canada. I'm originally from Canada.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
So I had this premonition when I was fifteen that
I was going to live in Bedsty and I was like,
where the fuck is Bedsty? What is bedstide?

Speaker 1 (06:28):
I didn't even know. I didn't understand. But so when
I ended up living.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
In Bedsty, like literally Bainbridge and Stuyvesant in the thick
of it, I was like, oh, well, this was kind
of like meant to be kind of thing. So here
I am. I am an illegal alien from Canada. I
have no permission from my country to leave. I have
no permission from this country to stay here. I have
no job, I have no nothing, And how are you.

(06:53):
I'm twenty one years old. I've put school on hold
in Canada. I was studying forensic psychology University because I
wanted to be a profiler, working for the BSU or
some other law enforcement agency that you know, did profiling
and whatnot.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
So here I am in New York. I'm living in
this apartment.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
How did I get an apartment with no credit, no
money or no proof of income, no nothing.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
I was working in a club. The owner.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
The owner had a little bit of a crush on me,
and that is putting it lightly.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
One day, he you.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Know, calls me into his office and just you know,
starts talking to me about, you know, what's your whole
situation or whatever.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
I was living with a girlfriend at the time, and he.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
Basically said that he would get me a condo just
as long as I let him come by and watch
me masturbate every once in a while.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
That was the deal. How old was this dude? He
was like fifty five? What did you say?

Speaker 2 (07:58):
I said, You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
There's no you like ew ew you don't get to
see all you don't get to see this you.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
No, I was, I know, but it has you end
up with apartment though. So it's so he was just like,
so he hooks me with a.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Realtor this a focus Okay, he was shady.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
So you actually said that, like, oh, hen I was
the no, no, fuck no, and you would have had
it rent free. I know. Did he have to be
in the room when you did? This stuff.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Do you know how many of my girlfriends asked the
exact same questions.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
They were like, wait, bit what like? What was the
parameters of this deal?

Speaker 3 (08:39):
It was a hard pass and I was like yes
and they were like girl.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
But there wasn't like record. It was just like he
had to there.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
This is two thousands to make sure if a good deal. Okay, listen,
okay there baby, I don't know, but you know what,
I'm Canadian.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
Okay, So he said, okay, so hyper independent.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
I'm going to do this on my own. So he was,
what were you doing in this club?

Speaker 3 (09:05):
It was bartender? Okay, So this is how I ended
up being able to make money.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
This nigga kid got me too basically like back then
he would have been he would have been ye know
me too.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Was so interesting. Okay, but anyways, we're jumping ahead. Yeah, okay,
so I'm gonna cook up the vegetables. In just a
second of vegetables.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
So guys, just for our listeners, she just heated up
the tuna in a pan and seasoned it. Yes, I
want to okay.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
So I'm going to put this back in once I
get the rice and the and the vegetables going a little.
I would have I would have used different vegetables than
these ones, because these are a little chunky and cruciferous.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
So we got to know you were probably using like
peas and carrits. Yes, exactly, I know, you know what
I don't know. And for all the listeners, they know
I absolutely hate peace. I was like, oh, hell no,
she's gonna want these peas, not giving her peace.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
It's okay, it's okay, we'll handle this broccoli.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
So this guy is, oh, this guy, you tell him no.
I tell him no.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
So he is like, he's so he hooks me up
with his realtor another shady motherfucker. Right, So he brings
me to he shows me this apartment because I tell
him what my price.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
My hole, what do you call that? What my range is?
It was six hundred to eight hundred dollars a month.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
That's yeah, back then, back then.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
It's just wild to think about back then.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
So he shows me this apartment at it was at
like Classen and Washington, if I'm not mistaken, if that
was what it was, and Classen and Washington.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Did not look the way that it looks now. It's
very gentrified.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Now, okay, there's a lot of white people with strollers
and shit, that is not the way that it looked
back then. And I'm so like, I'm just still so
naive that I'm just kind of looking around the place
and I'm looking outside.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
The windows and I'm like, yeah, I don't think that
this is the place. Yo. There's fucking gangs around.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah, it's not the Melissa like older me wants to say, girl, no.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
So I take it. I take it. You took the
place I did not. So he says to me. I
was like, do you have anything else you can show me.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
He's like, well, I'm showing this apartment later on tonight,
and he was just like it's out of your price
range and you're probably not going to get it, but
you can come see it.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Anyways. I was like the fuck you know? So I
was like okay, fine, and.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
He was like, oh, by the way, the landlord is
a woman, so make sure you cover up.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, cover up. And I was like fuck you talking
to so Okay.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
So anyways, it's not like I had like my boobs
out or anything like that. And it was winter, so
I got to the apartment early and it was a
brown Stone and I I had on a black turtleneck
and a cowboy hat and jeans.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
I don't know what.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
I really loved this cowboy hat though I don't know
what it was. I was obsessed with this cowboy hat,
and somehow I made it.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
I think. I feel like it made me seem really innocent.
And so she opens up the door. This woman, her name.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Was Deborah, and the second she opened up the door,
I felt like this, it's gonna sound weird, but like
my spirit immediately took to her.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
It was just something about her. It was just she
just was just warmth, you know.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
And so she invited me inside and we sat down
and we talked for about ten minutes, and it was
a great conversation, to the point where I forgot why
where I was and what I was doing there.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
And she said, well, young lady, do you want to
go see the apartment?

Speaker 1 (12:37):
I said, oh, yeah, let's go see.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
And so she brought me upstairs to the second floor.
And the minute that I walked into that apartment, I
knew I was home. I just knew I was home.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
And could you afford it them? No? It was nine
hundred and twenty five dollars a month.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
It was a junior it was a one and a
half bed, so it was like a one bedroom, one
bath with like.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
A smaller bedroom. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
And I was like, I can't afford this shit, but
I'm going to figure this the fuck out, Okay.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
And so I saw the apartment. I said, I will
be in touch and whatever.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
And then for the next two weeks I just kind
of like wrung my hands hoping that this realtor was
pleading my case and he wasn't. He was probably saying,
she is the worst candidate for this apartment, so don't
give it to her. Yeah, And so I decided to
look her up.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Remember phone books, Ah, yeah, I remember the white pages,
the white page. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
So I looked her up and I found her and
I called her and I said, I said, hi, I saw.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
You a couple of weeks ago. I came to look
at the apartment, et cetera.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
She was like, oh I remember, She was like, I
haven't made a decision yet, and I said, I just
really want you to know that I felt like that
is supposed to meet my apartment.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
It felt safe.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
I I just pleaded my case.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Whatever it was that I said to her.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
You know, I was just like my mother and I
we rented to, you know, people before. I've seen my
mom go through hell with tenants who stopped paying. I
would never do that to somebody. Just give me one year,
Just try me out for one year.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
I was like, I promise you're going to get your
rent in cash a week in advance at minimum Jesus.
And she was just like, when's your birthday? I was like, uh,
November seventh, and she was like, i'll call you back.
And she really looked up my chart because she was
like totally into like astrology andrology and stuff like that.

(14:42):
She called me up and she was like, the apartments
yours come with security in first first month's rent.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
And I was like, I couldn't believe it.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
I had no furniture, I had nothing except just two suitcakes.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
How did you get the money together? Well?

Speaker 3 (14:56):
I was bartending at this so at this time, I
it was all I had. Now started to bartend at Justin's,
which was Ditty's restaurant, and well, actually no, I got
I started bartending and cocktail waitressing, and then they fired
me because they were like, the last thing Puffy needs

(15:18):
right now is in the legal alien that looks like
you working in his establishment because he's this was around
the club New York situation happening, and.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
I was like, okay.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
So the manager, John Vasquez, he was like, I've got
something set up for you. So he got me set
up in a totally different club. It was called Nicks.
It was on East thirty second between Fifth and Madison,
And anybody who was like, you know, going to clubs
during the Black Diamond and the Pisa Brothers' days, they
know exactly what I'm talking about. So at the same
time that I started, you know, working in this club,

(15:49):
this massive party promotion team called Black Diamond had started
doing parties and so I started making more money than
I've ever seen before in my entire life. And I
was a bartender back in Toronto, just from bartending, and
so when I was able to you know, when she
get when she told me that I had this apartment,

(16:10):
I was able to pay for it because I had like, nah,
I had made like a bunch of money and like
you know, tips and stuff like that, and yeah, so yeah,
that was that was That was how that happened. And
I ended up living in her apartment for the next
two and a half years. After the first year, she
didn't even make me sign another lease.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
I was like, perfect tenant. I loved her. I just
I just loved her.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
She came and saw me like we would like have
tea in the kitchen, and one day, like two months
into like me being there, she was like, Melissa, do
you know why I rented the apartment to you? I
was like, because I was incredibly persuasive, and.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
She was like no.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
She was like, I looked up your chart, your numbers
and whatever, and she was just like, it said that
you were extremely dependable and that your words bond. Whatever
you say you're going to do, you're going to do it,
and I would have no problems with you. I was like, Okay,
that's that's me. I'm pretty pragmatic and dependable and stuff
like that. And she was like, but it also said
something else. And I was like, and it said it

(17:15):
says you're going to be famous, but not for the
reason that you think.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
And I didn't really know what to kind of like
make of that.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, I still don't know what to make of that,
you know, So but that was that was what she said.
And it ended up being like a really incredible like experience. Yeah,
my first apartment. Now keep in mind.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Did you ever ask her what her birthday was or
ever try to look up?

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Well the no, because that wasn't my thing, you know,
Like and I feel like she was a Gemini because
I get the gifts for her birthday.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
But I'm trying not to like fucking have this lying.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
It's like, why is it so hard? Yeah? I should
have heated up for you. Did you guys have mic
wave here? It's fine, It's fine, she's gonna have to.
I'm gonna break it up in the bag for her, Okay, Yeah,
because those little rice things are savage. Can you can
just put the chunks in here? Okay, put the chunks
in here? So I think, all right that way. So,

(18:16):
after you know, you got settled into New York, what
was that next big power play that like changes the
trajectory of your life? Sort of say I would.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
So I'm still doing music videos at this time, Like
before i'd moved to the States and I was still
living in Canada. I had done big Pimpin' share she
Laghos Thong song remix shake It Fast, like I'd already
done those videos, but I hadn't.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
Done this is before twenty one. This is this is.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Basically the year before. Oh no, actually it's like the
same year. It's the year two thousand.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay, yeah, And what are your parents saying like during
all this, because you're still really.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
My dad has passed away.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
He passed away when I was fifteen years old, almost sixteen,
So it was just me.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
And my mom.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
And honestly, the last couple of months of me living at.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Home was not okay.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Me and my mom were at each other's throats.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
So when I decided to.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Move to the New York I literally went downstairs to
the living room and said to my mother, I'm moving
to New York tomorrow. Can you drive me to the
airport ESUS? And she just looked at me and she said,
what time is your flight? She didn't ask where am
I going? Where am I going? I'm gonna live with?

(19:38):
How am I going to make money? You're illegal, you're
not American. She didn't ask a question, nothing, yes, And
I was like I had to ask her when we
were like, you know, we stopped at a diner on
the way to you know, like just waiting for my
flight and stuff like that, and I had to ask her.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
I was like, do you even love me?

Speaker 3 (20:00):
And she says, of course I love you, Melissa, but
you're driving yourself crazy and me in the process.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
You got to go, what were you doing that made
her think that? At the time, do you know, can
you look? Yes?

Speaker 3 (20:11):
I know exactly what was happening my life. I had
there was an intersection that my life had arrived at.
And whereas I had always imagined that I would live
in Toronto my entire life, I never ever thought that
I would leave. I imagined that, you know, I was going

(20:33):
to pay my way through university and I was going
to start working in law enforcement as a profiler, like
I was just going to be a regular ass person.
But then I started doing music videos and my popularity
started to increase dramatically.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
And how did you land your first music video?

Speaker 3 (20:54):
Director X, who was known as Little X back in
the day he was he was just kind of looking
for the girl for a music video, and after doing
a casting of almost every hot girl in the city,
his friends arrived at what about Melissa? And he was like,
who's Melissa? And let me see her right now. And
so he saw my picture he said, call her right now,

(21:16):
that's the girl. And that was basically how it happened.
So I became like amuse of his. His profile started
to grow, he started to get more responsibilities, like, you know,
more more jobs. I should say, this is looking more
like like a broke Man's poor fried rice. Okay, well
we could, doesn't it doesn't, that's why. But that's why

(21:36):
it's the broke man too. She because it's rice and tuna.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but doesn't it look like Chinese? Now
kind of does a little bit? You told me I
come up with a name. No, no, I like it.
I like it, but for all our listeners, I mean,
this looks pretty pretty fancy.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
I mean, you know, listen, I almost said, let's make
some biscuits, you know, biscuits with like cranberries in it,
with the cunch trusting sweet taste of cranberries.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
It looks good. I mean, I'm trump I'm doing. I
haven't made this. It's so long, but I can't wait
to see you eat and see if it like brings
you all the way back, like wow, it might.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
But so the intersectionality of like of like the two
versions of Melissa was I started doing these music videos
and even though I just really had my head on straight,
like okay, it's just another source of revenue temporarily right now,
and it's it's fun.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Is it a lot of revenue for your age at
that time? Yeah, And it's American money.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
So the you know the difference in American money versus
like that, what is that called, like Shane shank you jesus.
I mean, I can talk about ubiquitous melancholy this day,
but it was.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
You said some words out there and I was like,
I'm similess.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
Shit, I'm like, wait, you know that thing when the
money is worth more than another person.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
So anyways, sometimes I will have like a brain fart.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
I just blame everything on Perry menopause these days.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Just oh, I don't remember. I forgot when this got
my head. It's Perry menopause. So I uh, that's why
the money was so good because the exchange rate was
like crazy, like American dollar to Canadian dollar was so
high that it was almost like double.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
And you got you were going to going to college
while the video. So your mom, well she like seriously
sent my freaking out a little bit.

Speaker 3 (23:44):
No, my mom did not. My mom did not force
me to do anything ever. Ever, ever, like if I
wanted to quit something, all right, quit she didn't give
a shit, Like I shouldn't say that my mom didn't
give a ship. My mom ended up being a single
mother when my father died, and she had an enormous
amount of debt and she was in perimenopause.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
She had so much shit on her plate. The on
what did she She.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Was also dealing with a sixteen year old county daughter,
you know what I mean, So, like I could be honest,
like teenage girls are probably hell on.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Earth to deal with, if you don't mind me asking, Like,
what happened to your father? Like he was he just
he was older than my mom.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
There was a twenty one year age difference between the two,
so you know when he died, he was like sixty
one sixty two, which now very very yeah young, but
I mean, you know, men don't really take care of themselves.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah, but I'm just saying, was like a surprise.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
No, he had been, he'd been, he had had illnesses
over the course of the last five years.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
His death was still a shock to me. I was
not ready for that.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
But I mean because I was fifteen year old girl,
and to me, that was like my superhero.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
Nothing was ever going to really happen to him.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
It was you know, he was always going to get
past whatever his current ailment was.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
And no, that's not what ended up happening.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
And your dad is black or white? My dad's black, O,
your mom's white. Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
So by the time, so this whole intersectionality thing. When
I'm doing music videos and the popularity is gaining, then
a pivotal thing happens.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
When I do the Thong song remix video.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm on. Cisco asks me to go on tour and
I was like, okay, I could come for like a
couple of weeks. He was like, no, if you come here,
coming for the whole thing, it's a few months and
in Sync is the headliner. And I'm not really understanding
what he's talking about because.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
I'm not a dancer.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
If anybody sees my music videos, I'm not fucking dancing, Okay,
Like the New York Times wrote an article on me,
like how to succeed in music videos without actually dancing?
What the fuck you know? I was like, I'm here
to give good face. I give good body presence.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
That's me.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
So I'm the girlfriend, I'm the wife. I'm that, but
don't don't give me any choreography.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
But he was gonna pay you to do this. Oh yeah,
this was a gig. Gig.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
This was like, this was not be my girl. It
was like, no, you're coming to work.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
So I took it. He was like, don't worry.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
It's not hard choreography. It's very gimmicky.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
He was like, I want to lead girls, four lead
four backup dancers, and you're gonna be called the six pack.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
And I was like whatever. So I called up my jobs.
School was on.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Break or like on summer break, and I was just like, uh,
I called it my job. So I was like, would
you hold a position for me because I'm just gonna
I'll be right back tour with like you know, in Sync,
the biggest the entire world right now, and Cisco and oh,
Pink is the you know, the starting act and this
is Pink was the.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Starting act and before it was you know this pink.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
Well yeah, it was like when she was doing R
and B and she was like it was a bullshit, that.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
Was not her jam. Yeah we see why now yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:59):
And so so I go on tour and I just
saw and experienced so much that when I got back
to Toronto, the rose colored lenses were off and this
shit looked like a dusty ass po dunk town.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
I was like, I got to get the fuck out
of here. I can't live here.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
I just have seen the world. I just saw so much.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
I just I become a different version of myself. And
I didn't anticipate that happening. There's no way that you
could know that that's going to happen. Yeah, And so
when I got back home, I was so unhappy because
I just I'd already seen It's like I got.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Bitten, yeah, you know, by you bit the apple. Yeah
that was what it got, bit by a bug or
whatever it is. It's something. Yeah. I just was like
I couldn't go backwards. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
And I was like, if I don't pursue this now
at my young age, I'll always want under what if?

Speaker 1 (28:00):
And when you say pursue this, what was that pursuit?
I didn't even know what the pursuit was. Just just
just need to get out just.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
The attention, the attention that I had started to you
know that and and the and the requests, like you know,
it's it went from just ex hiring me for gigs
to Hype Williams and you know all the other video
directors requesting.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
And are you managing yourself or is there managers starting
to get.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Managing this ship? There's no management. I'm a video girl,
like there's this is not a career.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
But you're getting a lot of calls at this point,
So do you start figuring out or is anybody reaching
out to say, hey, maybe we can manage.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
No, because nobody really looked at video modeling as an
actual career.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Like the only person.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
That I could act, that I could say looked at
this as like a viable career option that can lead
to other things is this woman named LASHAWNA Stanley who
had a company called Ethnicity Models based out in Miami.
And I don't meet her for another maybe year or
two after I've gotten to the States. But she became

(29:05):
very pivotal in me being able to get my first
visa and then my second visa to now where I'm
legitimately allowed to live and work in the US. And
so I don't even meet her for the first like
year and a half two years of me being there.
So I'm like Bobbin and weaven customs.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
I can't go home.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
If anybody from home wants to see me, you got
to come see me. Because the minute I try and
get on a plane and go through customs, they're going
to be like, where's your I'm going to get thrown
into secondary.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
I risk being banned from the US for.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Years, maybe forever finds. It was a little perilous. Now,
what was your mom? Singer and all of us, She.

Speaker 3 (29:48):
Wasn't saying anything because she was trying to pay the
mortgage and keep food on the table. So she just
her mentality was very much like Melissa's gonna do whatever
Melissa's going to do. Like that's just it, Like there's
nothing that you can say or do to try to sway.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Her either way.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
You strong minded of ext scorpio, extraordinarily strong.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
And my mom is Eastern European.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
She's you know, Norwegian and Russian, and you know, if
you know anything about this type of people, they're very
stoic and they're not the most like you know, she
was not the most loquacious person.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
She was big words, okay, she was quiet as fuck.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Okay. You know, she had her little tiny circle of friends.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
She had a little atter hobbies like book club and
aqua fit, you know, stuff like that. She volunteered like
animal shelter, She had a book like library card.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
But my mom was a very simple woman.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
So like the things that I was doing were so
out of the realm of her conceptualizing what.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
It meant that she was like, oh, okay.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
So like when I started appearing on the covers of
magazines at her job, like the store, her job.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
And there's like.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
And there's like young male employees who are like, yo,
that's Melissa Ford's mom.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
She would just be like she was so funny. Was
she embarrassed? Was she proud? No, she was an embarrassed
at all. She was proud. She was proud.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
She was not so proud, but she was also very.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
She was just she was always just so just. It's
not like she beamed with pride, okay, but I literally
I level headed about it, extraordinarily level and head like.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
She didn't come in with issues like, you know, copies
of issues of the latest magazine I was on.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
Okay, all my friends want like autography. Never did that ship,
you know. So but you knew she was proud and
it seems like she did a good job when not,
I guess, Taylor, what are you like stiphening your just
kind of letting you. But it's weird though, because you
did say that, like there was a point where you
questioned whether she loved you from not being so on.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
You Yeah, because I mean, you know gen xers will
understand we had to parent ourselves. We're the generation that
our parents put a key around our next, like put
a string and a key around our next And they
were like, this is how you go home on public transportation.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
I'm eight years old, you.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Know what I'm saying, But like this was this was
what it was like. And when you get home, don't
burn down the fucking house. Make yourself something to eat.
So you're learning how to cook at seven and eight
and nine years old, and you're learning what areas of
the house you stay the fuck away from, what friends
are allowed to come over for versus who's not to you.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
You understand how to answer the door, and some like.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
We had to really really learn how to parent ourselves
and look out for ourselves.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
They had to put fucking commercials saying it's ten o'clock,
do you know where your children are? Remember? I remember that?

Speaker 3 (32:57):
So so this was like it's so my mom was
just you know, she was part of like you know
that that female workforce that where it was like, you know,
both parents are out working. There was My father literally
said to me one day where I was like.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Where are you going?

Speaker 3 (33:15):
He was like, I'm going out, like to work, I
guess or whatever. I was like, who's gonna look after me?

Speaker 1 (33:23):
The dogs will look after you? Gets this is why
we got them. He sounds like a Jamaican he's baising,
he was, you know, but he was just like, the
animals will take care of Yeah, you hear them Mark,
you know, to look you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
But no, he wasn't West Indian to the point where
we kept our dogs outside. They were inside dogs. Everybody
was inside. So that's another thing that my parents did.
They never really said no to any animal that I
wanted because they knew and probably had a significant amount
of guilt knowing that, you know, you're leaving your child
home to spend.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
For herself and your only child.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
And I'm an only well I have I have stepbrothers
and sisters, like half brothers and sisters, but I was
raised like an only child.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
I was the only child in the house. Okay, yeah, okay, yeah,
so you know this this was basically how I grew up.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
So it's just I don't think that after a while
my mom felt like she even had the position to
try to parent.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Me, which is really that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, I would have loved to have been able because
my mom's passed, and I would have loved to have
been able to have these kinds of conversations with my
mom about about this, like feelings that she had during
this stage of our lives. And also, Yo, how the
fuck was menopause for you, lady, because.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Well it seems like on your show you said that
she mentioned it to you in passing passing, Yes, in.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
Passing, like it was just like, oh, by the way
I turned, I started menopause at forty two and I
was forty one, so it's probably gonna happen for you
around the same time.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
What the fuck does that mean? What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah? And did you She didn't, So I didn't. I
didn't ask that.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
Alone because I was recovering from a traumatic brain injury
at the time, so you know, forgive me my brain's bleeding.
Didn't really have like a whole load of questions to say, okay, hey,
to help me, what's this? Had navigation of this whole
what is this?

Speaker 1 (35:19):
What is menopause? What the fuck is that?

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, it seemed like nobody knew because nobody wanted to
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Again, we go back to the medical.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Industry and how much it ignores women after a certain age,
and just.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
I started seeing that, like halle Berry started coming out.
I saw social media clips and she was like, no
one's talking to women about these things they misdiagnosed, And
I was like, whoa, I'm going to tell you what's happening.
You want to know what's happening.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
Gen X Again, we're fed up with having to have
figured everything out.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
So wait, hold on one second here.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
You wanted us to raise ourselves like we were like,
you know, feral animals or something like that. You put
a key around our next, you put us on public transportation.
You tell us to get home safely without being kidnapped
and shit like that. Cook, but don't burn the fucking
house down. Like we're like the forgotten generation that had
to like literally fend for ourselves every single We're the
Encyclopedia Britannica generation.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
So there was no Google.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
If you wanted to figure something out, shout out that
you had to find the volume.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
But do you think that also is what is the
seed that makes you great. Oh yeah, it makes it
makes you hella. It gives you that perseverance. Right, It's
like a gift and curse.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
Any anytime people think they got me backed into a
fucking corner.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Anytime people think that.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
They got me that they can count me out, you
got me fucked up my level of tenacity and resilience.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Y'all don't know.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
You don't know what I have had, what I have
had to do to survive. Everybody thinks, oh, there's a
pretty privileged element to your life, and no, I've had
to claw my way through my entire fucking life. Yes,
pretty privilege has basically, you know, has been a factor
in some.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Ways, but not everything. But I was gonna say, now,
your rise to the sex success, your rise to success
is definitely wasn't straight. I would imagine being in this
business for as long as you have, it had to
have been a roller coaster, right, like a up and down.
Let's talk about some of the lows.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
The lows were that, you know, because you talk about management,
the lows were that.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Nobody seemed to know what the fuck to do with me,
you know what I mean, Like.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
It just nobody seemed to know what to do with me,
and I was listen, I was fucking winging it. I
went from being a music video model to appearing on
in magazines's features and then you know, the covers of
magazines and calendars and stuff like that. But I'm literally
free floating through life. I don't know what the fuck

(37:56):
I'm doing. I'm just I'm just landing.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
You're just feeling calls and taking.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Yeah, that's literally it. I'm just I'm hoping that I'm
making the right decision. But I don't know. I have
no sense of mentorship, I have no management. I have
known nothing.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
And then how are the men in the industry, like
behind the scenes where you did you have to be
like tomboy mixed with sexy, Like how did you have
to manage that whole? No?

Speaker 3 (38:21):
And what's interesting about that question is, you know, when
I did Angie Martine's show IRL with Angie Martinez, we
talked about the different ways in which we had to approach,
you know, our careers, and she did what you just described, like,
you know, she had that you know, covered up and
had to you know, how to kind of like you know,

(38:43):
really kind of portray like that.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
Tomboy slash b I t H. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
You know, just there's there's different ways in which women
had to survive in this business.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
And with me, you know, I kind of was. I
was very My image was very sensual.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
You know, some might say hyper sexual, but I won't
agree with that. I was very you know, Pam Anderson,
Marilyn Monroe. Yeah, that was the pin up girl, you know,
and I was very clear on that. But the ways
that I protected myself was I insulated my when it
came to the videos. I insulated myself with the higher ups,
so director, producers, agents and whatnot. I didn't, you know,

(39:29):
hang out with the artists. I didn't cross boundaries and
I did not do blurred lines at all.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
So like once they called cut, if an artist was
like flirting with you, You're like all right by like
kind of how Janet Jackson like cut the number after
the poetic justice yes type shoot you were like yeah, great.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
Deuces Like I'm not I'm not I'm not okay, I'm cool,
I'm not that cool.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
I'm not that cool.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Where I'm going to I don't want the blurred lines
because that's not why I I'm here. I'm here for
an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's what I'm here for.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
So that was the That was one of the ways
that like I kind of protected myself and another way
that I would kind of protect myself.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
I'm real big into like nonverbal.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Communication, so you know, I guess people would expect me
to just be that like that, that super vixen all
the time, And I wasn't that super vixen all the
time on my own time.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Regularly, I'm very jeans.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
And T shirt.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
I'm very I'm walking around my house in like a sweatsuit,
you know, sweatpants and a T shirt.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Like I'm not.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
I'm not overtly sexual all the time. That shit would
be exhausting.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
But how did the Cisco deal come about if you
were keeping those lines like hell a strict like that.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Well, because I was the lead in the Glory, Valles
and I were the two leads, so my I was
the first half of the video and that video, that
part of the video was shot in Druid Hill Park
in Baltimore, and so it was just us. There really
was no other so it was just us. So we
had to spend a lot of time together. So even
when they yelled cut. We were like mounted on this

(41:10):
motorcycle and this dolly that was on a truck, so
we couldn't go anywhere. We were literally fixed into that
shit and we'd be there for hours and hours and
hours and hours. And so this was over the course
of like two days or something like that, and then
it went to we flew to la and that's where

(41:32):
the rest of the video takes place. And so by
that time we just kind of like developed like a
cool report and Cisco was very respectful, like he wasn't like,
you know, just trying to He just wasn't that guy, yeah,
to try and like to try you. He just wasn't
that guy. He just was very friendly and very nice
and that was it. And so you asked me. He
was like looked at me and Gloria, he was like,

(41:52):
I want you to to be the leads in my
on on tour with me.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Yeah, And that was what he did it right there.
He was like try to he talked to.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
He talked to us at different times, but basically he
asked me when we were still in Baltimore, Like he
made that decision really quickly because he knew tour was happening.
Very very fast. It was like within the next two weeks.
So he had to make a decision, and he was
making decisions and he I don't know if he got
the idea for the six pack right then and there,
or if he'd been formulating the idea and he was like, oh,
she's the one, and then up she's the one, and

(42:24):
then filled out the back with the other four girls.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
I've crossed pass with him like a way back. He
seems very legit. Yeah, he seemed very He's look at this,
we're gonna try this, poor mance sushi. I think it
looks like Chinese. It does kind of look like it.
It looks really good.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
It looks it does look a little bit like Chinese.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
But yeah, this was this was in a pinch or
I didn't really have a whole lot of, you know, money.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
So when the there also switched this up with like
Han Salmon as well, Oh yeah, I feel like we
had Can Salmon on the show before, and it like
stuck up.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Our whole set.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Thank you, thank you, you're giving me all this And
I don't know if it's because you're watching your figures
and I was trying to like even it out. Look
this looks good. Guys, can the camera see this? I
don't know see that? Can you see that? I don't
know if they can see it. They can, I'm gonna
go ahead and try this. Here we go into the

(43:28):
I feel like you could stay okay. I was scared
about the sarachi and not that bad. It's no strong
you do season she does season her food really well.
That's a black side. Mammm hmm. It's good. I have

(43:51):
had this in so long. This is pretty damn good.
Thank you. This is really good. I am kind of
loving this. I gotta go back to making this ship.
You know what. There are dishes on this show where
it's so good that I go home and I made
it for like a week.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Oh yeah, this is this is really good.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
You seasoned it well. SCRATCHI is hot, but well I
don't really eat a lot of spice.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
Book either, do I. That's the white side of me.
They can't really deal with spicy.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
These vegetables work, Yeah, they work. It works, it works.
It did better than peace. Mm hmmm, it's good. I'm
impressed with this dish. So let's talk about like the

(44:47):
Because there was an air where video Vixen and all
that stuff was in. Then all of a sudden people started
hating on it, and then it started to phase out.
Take me through what that journey was, because there was
a period where you did like a reality show in between.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
No, the reality show didn't happen until like twenty thirteen.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
You know, long story short about the music videos.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
Really everything was just kind of like a casualty of piracy.
You know, the the record industry was just kind of
losing control of its product.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Illegal downloading and shit like that.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
All the stuff that we take, Yeah, naps are all
the shit that we take for granted right now, just
in terms of streaming.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
And stuff like this.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
This was this was a this was a really big
deal in record companies, you know, were hemorrhaging money. So
whereas music videos the budgets used to be. I mean
when I did Knock Yourself Out, that budget was like
six hundred and fifty dollars. What Yeah, Thong song remix

(45:54):
was like one point one. Big pimpin was one million.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
There spend a lot of money. Oh yeah that and
they definitely don't spend that now, No, they don't not
even close. That seems like outrageous now, but it was
so normal back then I mean the whole thing, thank
you eating like hella unprofessional look on.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
Yeah, I was three hundred and fifty thousand, but that
was when it it had started to hit. But I
mean it's usher and you know, Ludacris and loved John,
So there was still a massive there was still a
massive budget at the time.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
But and so, you know, when.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Record companies had just you know, they they developed this
formula for the way music videos looked. It was a
lot of hot girls, It was a lot of pomp
and circumstance, you know, fancy cars and just money and
houses and pools and whatever else. So how do you
create the same product with a minimum budget? So everything

(46:52):
like quality control just kind of went out the fucking window.
And so they stopped casting models like me came with
an extraordinarily high price tag, and then they just started
going into you know, strip clubs or or just casting
girls who were just so I don't want to use
the word thirsty, but it kind of applies. Just so

(47:16):
they just really really wanted to do music videos.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
They do it for free. They didn't give a shit.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
Your quality control kind of goes out the window because
a lot of girls feel like, oh, well, in order
for me to get that burn, get that camera time,
I gotta be like like I'd be like real salacious
about it. And so you know, I was very like,
I'm not wearing that. Don't fucking touch me. I'm not
doing that, and I'm not doing it for that Lowa price.
I'm sure at that point you even when you're still

(47:44):
you're paying my price, I'm still not wearing that.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
I'm not doing that. Don't fucking touch me. Like that
was me.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
They girls were like, you can stick your tongue down
my throat.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
We just met whatever.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
They'd be wearing, the littlest, tiniest things, they'd be twirking,
but just.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
It was so it.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
It's like every video almost became and then also uncut
happened too.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Being uncut sounds like that after hours, right.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
Yeah, but everybody was staying up for it.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
So it's just like so gone.

Speaker 3 (48:12):
We're the days of like, you know, video models being like.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
You know, the tasteful.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
Yeah, they're being like an element of taste to it
and then being casted actual models, and so people just
weren't able to tell the difference.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Do you feel like, yeah, do you feel like the
female videos are like getting more raw than the guy videos.
Like sometimes I'll see some of these girl videos, I'm like, damn,
the girls are doing the girls of this service at
this point.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Yeah, but I mean I think that it's for a
completely different reason because I mean, like they are the
artists themselves, And to me, this is this generation has
a has a different sense of agency over there and
ownership over their body and their self sexuality. They unabashedly,
unapologetically flaunt it without a sense of repercussion. They dare

(49:07):
you to challenge them or to make them feel bad
about it. Yeah, you know, they're like they they're just
completely different than we were in a really good way.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
You like it, I mean just just autonomy. I like autonomy.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
This election and the war for control over women's bodies
is that's the part of this, of this whole thing,
this country. The overturning of Roe versus Wade. That literally
makes me so fucking upset and so sad and is
so triggering. So when I see women being unapologetically themselves
and taking ownership of their sexuality, I can't do anything

(49:47):
but applaud that. And I'm not the one who's here
to judge them based on what they do. I don't
like every single thing that they do. There's some things
where I'm just like.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Oh girl, what the fuck? You know?

Speaker 3 (49:58):
But hey, that's you, you and your decision and the
fact that you made that decision for yourself.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
You know. Right, Let's talk about the pivot from where
you were then to podcasting, because you've been in podcasting
for over ten years now. Mm hmmm. So how did
that pivot come into play? There's so much fucking in between,
so much in between.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
You give me like the I'm going to give you
the elevator, the elevator cliff notes. So when you asked, like,
you know, what was like the hardships and stuff like that,
and the main thing being that I had no management,
I had no mentorship. I was basically flying by the
seat of my fucking pants. But I did make some

(50:44):
good decisions. I always knew that music videos and you know,
just kind of like getting having my image out there
and acquiring like an enormous fan base. I could leverage
that popularity with with wherever I was going. And my
next stop was to do television hosting, and so I
started to solicit bet for several for any opportunity that

(51:07):
they would give me to be on camera talent and.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
And you were making the calls I had. I you know,
I just through connections.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
Yeah, like that, I developed a friendship with Big Tigger,
and he was really instrumental in like introducing me to
Stephen Hill, who was like, you know.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
The the VP at the time. I want to say
a BT.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
And so Stephen was like he gave me opportunities to
you know, basically prove my metal, like you know, let's
see what you can do. And in two thousand and four,
they hired me as on camera talent. I mean there
was billboards and stuff like that, and you know, with
my picture and Free and AJ and Tigger, it was

(51:49):
like wow. And so I had to fucking find a
lawyer to like, you know, kind of you know, negotiate
my contract for me and stuff like that was a
fucking terrible contract, but whatever, I didn't care. It was
it was a way to like kind of legitimize myself
and kind of get me away from the whole image
of doing music videos. Even though I had no shame

(52:12):
in my participation in it. It was starting to like
get a little funky for the reasons that I described.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
And then when that book came out. Don't even get
me started on that. So wait, well book some Quessions
of a Video Mix. Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
So television television hosting opportunities opened up for me after
I got hired with BT.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
You know, you just start meeting people.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
And they had a show called Mad Sports on there,
and they were like, Melissa, We're gonna give you a
microphone and you are going out there to interview athletes
because they love you.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
And I was like, okay, cool.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
And that just kind of put me in the path
of really.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
Big decision makers.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
And one of those decision makers was this man named
Michael Mant and he was like, the EP of this
show called Jim Rome is burning a bunch of shows
on Pardon the interruption.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
These are very popular shows at the.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
Time on ESPN.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
And so one day we had like, you know, just
like kind of an informal dinner and he was like, Mossa,
what do you want to do? And I said, I
want to host the sp nomination show. I knew, right,
I knew exactly what I wanted. Okay, yes, And he
was like, my sister is the EP of the SP's I.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
Think that that can happen. And I was like, oh
my god.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
And then they called me like, I don't know, like
a few weeks later and they said, yeah, you got
the gig. You're going to be hosting the Emmy nomination
show for the two thousand and six Emmys with Stuart Scott.
Rest in peace. One of the most incredible humans to
ever walk this earth, Stuart Scott. I mean, I still

(53:51):
I could start crying thinking about him right now. He
was so generous and so caring, and.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
So he just was so dope. He knew how nervous
I was.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
I'm in a totally different realm outside of anything I've
ever done before, and I'm trying so hard to like
be perfect. And he was like, you got this, you
got this, melth you got this, and I got you.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
And I was like okay.

Speaker 3 (54:18):
And so that ended up becoming another opportunity to host
the Red car the SB Red Carpet with him and
a couple of other hosts. So it just turned into
like a really incredible opportunity.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
But what goes up, what must come down, And.

Speaker 3 (54:39):
You know, I just was like kind of like riding
on a high and then I left BT not voluntarily. Well,
it was kind of like we're not gonna run into
your contract. I was like, well, I don't want to
fucking come back anyways.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
I don't know. It was okay, it was like a
mutual breakup.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
It was yeah, but my ego was just stupid at
that time. I wish I could go back and like
slap the shit out of myself.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
I just I don't even know how to tell that story.
I just were you feeling yourself like you mean, were
you cocky or rude?

Speaker 3 (55:17):
Or I might have been a Sometimes I might have
been a little difficult to work with, you know, but
you know, women always get that label. You know, men
never really get that label. But I might have been
a little difficult to work with. But something happened in
two thousand and five, Hurricane Katrina happened.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
And I was really really distraught.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
My boyfriend at the time was from Louisiana, and so
I felt like an indirect connection and also just watching
human suffering and also what looked like our governments very
very slow response to said human suffering. I just felt

(56:02):
like I had to do something, and so I ran
into one of the VP's offices at the time. His
name was Eugene. Eugene Caldwell, maybe possibly don't quote me
on that.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
First name was definitely just heard mic close enough. I
just want to make sure I get this whole thing, Okay.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
So his name was Eugene, and I went into his
office and I pitched this idea of me doing coverage
of Hurricane Katrina survivors. By this time, the vast majority
of them were starting to get starting to get moved
to the Reliant Center in Houston from the Superdome in Louisiana, which.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
You know, we all heard stories about how awful.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
It was there.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
And so my boyfriend, he had a lot of connections
in Houston, and I was just like, I will fund this.
If I have to just give me a crew, I'll
house them. Just give me the opportunity to go to
the Reliance Center and start to interview people. And I
had this, I had just like this idea as to

(57:13):
who I wanted to interview. We were interviewing people, you know,
growing adults. But I was like, what about the kids?
What about not just young children, what about teenagers? You know,
so much of our audience on BET was teenagers watching this.
As teenagers, our identity is usually kind of ensconced in.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
What we wear.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
You know, and the music that we listened to, and
you know, like we're forming our identities, but these are
the things that we use to kind of like determine
who we are, you know. And I was like, nobody's
talking to them. I was like, I want to go
talk to them. That's our audience.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
What did they say to this pitch?

Speaker 3 (57:51):
So they loved it, and they sent me all the
way upstairs to the EVP of news.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
Her name was Nina Henderson Moore. I can't believe I
remember this shit. This is so long ago.

Speaker 3 (58:03):
And I just was so like bright eyed and bushy tailed.
It's so enthusiastic, and I felt like this was the
way for me to finally drop this kind of.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
This this.

Speaker 3 (58:16):
I don't know, I was just being rec Oh the
video girl, I was like, no, I want to be
recognized as somebody who has journalistic integrity and ethics who
may not have gone to school for journalism, but I
sure as fucking act like one, and I know how
to ask questions and I know how to interview people.
So I just wanted this opportunity. Not everybody who's out
there with a microphone went to school for journalism, you know. Yeah,

(58:40):
So she was all for it.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
She loved the idea. It's it looks like all systems
are go.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
And then there was a meeting that took place with
a very powerful consultant and this came up on the agenda.
Melissa Ford going to host you know, like Reliance blah
blah blah dah da dad, And he said, why the
fuck are we sending a video girl out into the

(59:11):
field to handle this shit? And he was so powerful
that he just put the kebash on all of it.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
And they didn't tell me right away.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
I had to like literally beg them to tell me
what had happened. Like everybody was so gung ho and
so enthusiastic about this with me, and like, you know,
I'd already like started talking to people that I wanted
to be the crew, Like my producer from my show,
which was BT Style at the time. I wanted her
to come with me. I wanted I had the skeleton crew.

(59:44):
And I was so fucking devastated. Very soon after this,
I did an article for Well.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
I did the cover of.

Speaker 3 (59:58):
Double Excel's Eye Candy issue and I was the premiere issue,
and then I did an article, you know, a written
piece for it, and I'm trying to remember who it
was that wrote it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
I can't remember right now, but they were a really
prolific writer.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
And I talked about this situation because I was still
smarting from it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
I was still so fucking angry. I was very hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
I was really really hurt by'm a scorpio. So my
fucking stinger was up and so you know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
That's that shit. That is a hurtful ass thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
So I told the story and then I of one
of the quotes was it was at that moment that
I realized that the glass ceiling was a lot closer
to my head than that originally thought. And then the
magazine came out and I was in the airport at
the time when I saw it, and I grabbed it
off the stand.

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
I was like, I'm like carry with the bube, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
And I ran to the gate and I'm reading and
I'm like, oh shit. So I called up Stephen Hill
and I said, I have to come in and talk
to you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
I didn't tell him why.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I just wanted to be upfront that this article was
out and I didn't want it to end up on
your desk without me kind of putting it on the
desk and me talking about this and giving me giving
you the reasons why Jesus Yeah, well, you know, I
think that that was one of the reasons that led
to termination.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
It doesn't several months later. It doesn't sound too much
like ego though. It sounds like, uh, you know, it
doesn't sound too much like you know, like you had.
It sounded like you were like, oh, well, maybe it
was my ego, but it seems to me like it
was more like, you know, it was if I'm passionate
about your job and your purpose and you know, how

(01:01:50):
does that make you feel? Because it also came up
in your Unbothered episode. I hope we're not going over
but but okay, but I I know on the podcast
episode you had an opportunity to speak at Harvard and uh,
and that that kind of came up, like only fans
I think, came up. How does that make you feel?

(01:02:13):
Do you have like a love hate relationship with this
thing that kind of like helped you but now of
the age now is starting to hurt you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:25):
I what do I say about that? You know, it's
not something that I broadcast, but it's also not something
that I'm ashamed of because you know, it allowed me
to pay my bills during the pandemic. You know, my
mom had passed away. I didn't know my ask for

(01:02:46):
my Actually I hadn't even started it then.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
It was really like kind of it was really like
it was.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
It was maybe about a year afterwards, and you know,
it was just it was just it was just a
way to like, you know, tap into the fan base
that's always been there. And you know, like I said,
I have no judgment for the way that other people
live their lives and the things that they do on OnlyFans.
I knew what I was doing. It was basically the
same stuff that I was doing when I was doing
the covers of magazine. Those magazines don't exist anymore. Yeah,

(01:03:17):
you know, so I can still shoot the same way.
I can do the implied nudity. I can do the
lingerie and the bikinis and stuff like that. I can
do that stuff, And to me, it's just it's kind
of like it's just a part of the repertoire that
I can go back to whenever I want to, because
because it's available to me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
But I'm saying for you personally, is it a love hate?
Is there is there like a love hate for the judge.

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
The judgment that I don't have for others is oftentimes,
you know, placed on me, and that frustrates me sometimes.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
Yeah. Do you think that podcasting is helping you be
able to share the whole? You like? Does it allow
you the opportunity because listening to your show is very open. Guys,
got to check it out. It was very open. It
was very like a whole you very educational, Okay, because
I didn't know any of the stuff you were talking

(01:04:11):
about and it kind of scared me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
Yeah, it's it's I mean, is it is scary until
you learn, until you learn about your body and what
it's going through and all the things that can help
you manage the symptoms. I mean, when I started perimenopause,
and we'll get back to that what you were originally
asking when I started.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Perimenopause versus where I am now.

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
It is so much more manageable where I am now
because I started what's called HRT hormone replacement therapy, and
most doctors who have any kind of education on menopause
will tell you that the earlier that you start hormone replacement.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
Therapy, the better off you will be.

Speaker 3 (01:04:53):
There's women that I know that are in their fifties
that have never done it before, and like they have
really severe symptoms and the synth.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
There's so many symptoms. Oh my god, it's like crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
I see women talk about it like in offices, but
the light usually show me off like you don't understand.
Holy just you're not there yet, and I'm like, okay, whatever,
just remember I'm forty guys.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
I mean well, the strangest symptoms are things like tonight's
seeing things out of the corner of your eye that
aren't really there, hives, you know, dry skin, losing your hair,
brittle nails, ocular issues like you know, eyesight issues, Like,
there's so many symptoms.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Everyone's just like, oh, menopause, hot flashes. I've never had one.

Speaker 3 (01:05:35):
I had night sweats, which is different, but within the
realm of the same thing. You know, it's basically your
body's inability to regulate its temperature. This is just some
of the stuff. Basically what menopause is. It is less
a gynecological transitional phase in a woman's life and it's
more cognitive. Seventy five to eighty percent of the symptoms
that you will experience happen up here, and this is

(01:05:56):
the thing that makes you feel like you're going fucking
crazy because it is cognitive.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
You know, so.

Speaker 3 (01:06:01):
Sorry that it sounds scary, but there is definitely ways
to make it easier and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
But like, you know, just kind.

Speaker 3 (01:06:08):
Of podcasting does allow me to reintroduce myself, but I
feel like I'm constantly reintroducing myself, you know, like the
conversation about music videos. It comes up in every single interview.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
That I do. And some people are like, isn't she
tired of talking about it?

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
I'm like, it depends on which angle we come at
it from. But there are sometimes where I'm just like,
can we focus just on this because I feel like,
you know, be careful how you introduce yourself to the world,
because it'll never let you forget it kind of thing. Yeah,
I feel like that's that's my cross to bear, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
And like I said, well, I think you're wearing it well,
like you're you're even listening to hot and unbothered. It's
it's like you're a very pro woman's cham. I think
women need to ack knowledge that more than anything. And
I think we know that, yeah from you. I think
if anything is and I don't even know if men
shade like that, but I feel like, more like even
hearing that this consultant came in a room, I'm guessing

(01:07:03):
he was a guy. Yes, maybe Yes, it seems like
the guys are maybe hating because everything that you stand
for seems to be pro woman and pro unity with
women and owning ourselves and with.

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
A real focus on health, wellness and mental health.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
That that's my lane.

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
That is where I thrive.

Speaker 3 (01:07:24):
That is where I am a conduit, and I use
my experiences and I use my storytelling abilities to make
people see feel seen.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
And heard and represented. That's why I'm here. That feels
like very purposeful for me.

Speaker 3 (01:07:43):
You know, So the hate will come from all directions,
you know what I'm saying. Like, you know, I've been
accused of not being a girl's girl. I was like,
what the fuck does that even mean? Like, look, yeah,
there's gonna be females out here that don't like me,
trust and believe, I can name quite a few that
I don't fucking like either. But that doesn't mean that
I don't care about women's issues. That doesn't mean that

(01:08:03):
I don't want to educate women on you know, young
women on what's coming down the pipeline, so they don't
have to suffer like the fuck like I had to
suffer and my girlfriends had to where we had to
biohack our bodies to figure out what the's going on.

Speaker 1 (01:08:15):
You know what I'm saying, Well, what do you want
your listeners to gain from hoh and unbothered?

Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
It's informative, it is compelling content. I'm going to have
medical doctors and experts, but I'm also going to have
I'm going to have story, like, you know, stories of
just like just real people. Like one episode that I
want to do is with my girlfriend Nicole. She's this beautiful,
beautiful chocolate woman. She's just oh, she's just warmth, just

(01:08:45):
the you know, just this smile, this treasure cat smile.
And she's fifty two years old and she just had
her third open heart surgery.

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
But she's also a nurse.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
And when I was at the hospital visiting her, I
had never seen anybody advocate for them selves the way
she knew how because she she could read her own
chart and say I'm not doing this, I'm not doing this.
And what that taught me was how much malpractice actually
happens in hospitals and scared the shit out of me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
And so I want her to come on.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
This show to teach people how to advocate for themselves
when it comes to dealing with doctors and understanding doctors
are not God, even though some of them may think
that that's what I want to do. I want to
I want to, you know, create episodes that have stories
that people feel kind of run parallel to their own
lives and just you know, have this kind of sense

(01:09:35):
of of I don't know, symbiosis.

Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
Yeah, you know, I like that. I love the show.
I'm going to continue listening to it and maybe you
know email you now.

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
That I have that's like, ready, I do not have
a coke problem. I know, I keep scratching my note, but.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
It's like I swear to God, allergy.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
My allergy are kicking my fucking ass right now. And
it's probably because I think it's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
The Sirocha, but I don't want to know something. This
was amazing. I just want to thank you so much
for your time. I wanted you from a couple of
years ago, so it was great, Like it's just timing
it finally finally worked out. Thank you so much, and
this dish I know you said it's the broke man Sushi.
Uh maybe the broke Man's Chinese, but I think it

(01:10:25):
was absolutely terrific for all y'all out there. Easy quick
dish under a couple of bucks, fulfilling and tasty. And
I think, Melissa, you won't go home and hack this
at least once this week? I might, I might.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
This is this is this is pretty fantastic. I forgot
all about this dish, but great.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
Hat And thank you for being so transparent about your journey.

Speaker 2 (01:10:45):
Of course, of course, thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:10:47):
All right, guys, and you could check out Melissa Ford
unbothered Hot and unbothered.

Speaker 3 (01:10:51):
And bothered hot, and this is just bothered hot and
bothered with Melissa Ford on all your DSPs and on YouTube.
So just go to my Instagram page and click the
links and we'll bring it right there.

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
And then I think if we DM you enough, you'll
start selling those shirts.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
Oh no, it's happening. It's happening. I'm hot, You're bothered exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
Peace out, y'all. For more eating while broke from iHeartRadio

(01:11:34):
and The Black Effect, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,