November 13, 2024 • 43 mins
Hosts Ryan Murdock and Gabbie Watts head to Microcon, a convention of micronationalists. Think Model UN meets ComicCon. We’ll engage in light diplomacy, explore invented histories and exchange gratuitous amounts of medals. Plus, there’s a taco bar! Among the characters you’ll meet are Zaq from Zaqistan, the President of Molossia, the Sultan of Slowjamastan, the Princess of Sancrotosia and a bunch of dictator-curious statesmen, all asking the question: if you could start a country from scratch, what would it look like?
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Big old rain looking cloud to southwest. That's up weather.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh, I mean that looks like it's bigger than it
was before.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And the wind blowing towards us.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
So that's fine, wish what the rain flies on?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Dam it's getting windy, man, Holy ship.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Using your.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
Not In the middle of the desert, in a location
I swore not to reveal is a tiny, tiny, tiny nation,
(01:05):
the nation of Zakistan. Documentarian Ryan Murdoch went there to
find out what it was all about, and it did
not go according to plan.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh my god, what is that?
Speaker 7 (01:20):
Bulls?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
That was the first invasion of Zakistan.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
From My Heart podcast and School of Humans. This is
Escape from Zakistan.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
They're fifty five gallons of water for five hundred pounds
of concrete.
Speaker 8 (01:33):
Holy hell, this is in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I don't think I slept at all. Mostly was thinking
about how we're going to get out of here.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Episode one, Diplomacy.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm Ryan Murdoch and spoiler alert, I made it home
from Zakistan, but barely, and I'll tell you the story
of what happened out there in this podcast. But first
you may be wondering what the hell is Zakistan is?
It a former Soviet Republic, an ethnic enclave in the
Middle East, an elaborate art project created by a guy
(02:08):
named zach Well. Zakistan is a micro nation, a concept
I got really interested in a few years ago. And
it turns out there's a lot of them, so many
that there's a conference of micronations where they all get together.
It's called micro Khan.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
I'm Gabby Watts, and what am I doing here? Ryan
asked if I could help produce a podcast about micronations?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
And I've been.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Looking for an excuse to get to a holiday inn
in Joliet, Illinois.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
That's where micro con was, and.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm Zeren Bernett. I did not get to go to Joliet,
but Ryan did pull both of us in to help
figure out what's really going on beneath the surface with
these micronations. Okay, I'm drawn to stories about subcultures, non
traditional communities and the hinges of history, but honestly, I
loved this idea as soon as I heard there was
a place called Slow jama Stan. I mean, I had questions.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
So Gabby's aaron, what exactly is a micronation?
Speaker 6 (03:04):
A micronation is kind of what it sounds like a
tiny startup nation. There's hundreds of them all over the world,
on every continent.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Ah, so like Luxembourg or the Vatican.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Uh No, those are micro states.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Microstates. Oh okay, I see, it's.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
More about declaring your own country to be sovereign.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Okay, So then more like Palestine, South Sudan or Taiwan.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
Also, no, micronations are decidedly less serious most of the time.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
So then more like the guys in Oregon who tried
to secede from the US.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
I'm sorry, but you're wrong again.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Those guys have declared themselves sovereign from the US, but
they haven't founded their own nation, at least not yet.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Okay, Okay, then I give up. What's a micronation.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
Well, it's probably easier to hear it than explain it.
So let's start with some of the people who are
there at Microcon.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I am er lord of the micronation of the domain
than Rome.
Speaker 9 (04:00):
King Ernesty Manuel, President of Katramanoscelin.
Speaker 10 (04:04):
I am the Queen of LADONIAI I'm Jackson, King of Kaeperberg.
Speaker 11 (04:07):
President of Hankland, the main leader of the oligarch state
of Kernin, the President of Republic of foundland.
Speaker 7 (04:13):
King Bergan, the first of the King of Oxconia.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
The Supreme Leader of the Grand Republic of Montonia, President
of Excelsior.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
It's a pretty distinguished sounding group and they all came
together one weekend last year at that Holiday Inn conference
center in Joliet, Illinois.
Speaker 12 (04:32):
There's a hallway with about say twenty tables so far.
Everyone's getting set up with their displays, a lot of
foam coreps board, a lot of stickers, a lot of flags,
a lot of pins.
Speaker 10 (04:48):
Morning, if everybody would take it away from the other
end of the hallway, Queen Carolyn is doing registration.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Queen Carolyn is the host of this year's micro KHN,
the fifth her micro nation. Ladonia is the host country.
Technically Ladonia is in Sweden. Well more, technically Ladonia is
surrounded by Sweden, but the Queen, she lives in a
gated community in Joliet, Illinois. So that's where the convention
(05:17):
is at the Holiday Inn, up the road past the
town's one landmark, the old Joliette Historical Prison. So this
is my venture.
Speaker 12 (05:27):
Security pass, security, nice stamp, neutral zone, border checkpoint, approved,
microcan demilitarized neutral zone.
Speaker 10 (05:37):
Yeah, Hello, King George two point oh.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
King George two point oh gets in line behind me.
I find out that he has ruled his micronation, Slabovia
since twenty eleven, after a coup took down King George
the First. He's also in the steering committee that chooses
which micronation gets to host the next micro khan An early.
Speaker 13 (06:01):
Now I know exactly where it's going to be, but
I'm not going to say sorry.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
The next host nation will be announced at the end
of the kN After registration and some light socializing, everyone
starts filing into the main conference room for the presentations.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Behind the podium is an array of flags.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
It kind of looks like the UN, but all these
flags belong to micronations.
Speaker 10 (06:24):
I am Carolyn, I am the Queen of Ladonia. I
am your host for this year's twenty twenty three micro cons.
This is way more people than we were expecting, to
the point that we've literally run out of flagpoles because
we have so many nations represented. We have forty two nations.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
If you're wondering, there are one hundred and ninety three
member nations in the UN, so forty two fake ones
ain't bad.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
After her intro, Queen Carolyn brings up the presenters who
are talking on topics like how does your micronation do good?
Speaker 4 (06:59):
And cyber security.
Speaker 13 (07:01):
Now, in a perfect world, this would be about a
forty minute talk, but I'm gonna blast through it like
a ferret on amphetamines, will try and keep it under ten.
Speaker 6 (07:07):
This is Eric lyss emperor of the Erican Empire, which
he started when he was five. He's wearing a black
military style jacket with buttons that are smiley faces, and
his topic was something that I was thinking about in
my first few minutes at micro con.
Speaker 13 (07:22):
Obviously, it's easy to imagine that someone dressed up here
like myself, covered in smiley faces, might not be the
most stable of individuals.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
So is this healthy or not?
Speaker 13 (07:32):
Is the essential question. Obviously, I've got a vested interest
in proving that the people in this room are not crazy,
because I'm in the room too.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
Yes, are these people crazy? I know it's not nice
of me to think, but when you're surrounded by people
dressed up as presidents and queens, it's hard not to ask.
But along with being an emperor, Eric is also a psychiatrist,
and he told us about a study he did on
whether or not micro nationalists are crazy.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
The results results.
Speaker 13 (08:00):
If you want to know, talk me afterwards. Nobody cares.
Speaker 6 (08:02):
Nobody did seem to care. Everyone here is just eager
to do some diplomacy. But what he found was that
people who run micronations aren't any crazier than anybody else
in leadership.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Which, given the general quality of leadership in our country,
isn't saying much.
Speaker 10 (08:19):
We do have a big lunch planned if we're going
to have a taco bar.
Speaker 6 (08:24):
Yay, as excited as I am about the taco bar.
We've got diplomats to meet. The first thing I noticed
is their outfits.
Speaker 11 (08:32):
So you can wear literally anything to get attention, like
a giant cake with a sash and a flag on
your fedora, like I'm doing right now, basically something to
say look at me.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
People don pins, sashes, scarves, crowns, medals, cure.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I have a pin.
Speaker 14 (08:52):
It's the Mainten's cross.
Speaker 15 (08:53):
The maintenance cross is one of our national symbols.
Speaker 7 (08:56):
My sword it is more of a walking stick the
sword because it's not very sharp.
Speaker 6 (09:03):
There are people in diplomatic suits, military ensembles, ball gowns, kilts.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
A lot of folks are Scottish and coverts it's a
nice little folk costing.
Speaker 9 (09:11):
I am wearing a royal Cambodian ensemble on my lapel.
Speaker 13 (09:16):
I have a golden gavel pin to sim whiz that
I'm the head.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Of the government.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Zaren.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
Since you weren't at micro Con, is this all making
sense so far?
Speaker 7 (09:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I mean kind I guess what I'm hearing is this
is like LARPing for people who love model you in
am I wrong? Is it more than that? Well?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
It isn't it? Isn't it? I mean it's more than
that because beyond the titles and funny outfits, these people
are investing lots of time and energy in building their
own countries. Let's just face it. Are country's a mess.
And there's a line you hear more and more of
these days from people on both sides of the political spectrum.
If their candidate doesn't win, they're leaving the country. They
(09:58):
talk about moving to Canada or Portugal or Australia, but
even those places have their own issues. For some of
the people we met at Microcon, they've decided to start
their own country in a world of flawed alternatives, so
it's kind of like just a coping mechanism for them.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Yeah, it's their own little fictional utopias.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And some of these people have been doing this for
a while. I talked with the Grand Duke Travis McHenry
of West Arctica. He told me that in two thousand
and one, Travis Lake claimed the thousands of acres of
unclaimed territory in Antarctica thanks to what he says is
a legal loophole and the Antarctic Treaty. He sent declarations
(10:38):
to every nation that signed the treaty, sang as much,
but he's never actually been there.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Another year, another another inability to get down there.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It's so funny.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, and I'm just not ready yet to drop sixty
grand Can you take a take a submersible?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Ah yeah, great Ideaeah yeah, and then it would just
be instead of a smart billionaires drowned, it would be
idiot drowns.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
Emmanuel the First stands in the hallway with his wife, son,
and daughter. Together they make up the royal family of Amathonia.
Speaker 9 (11:14):
Crown Prince Gabriel. I'm teaching him a lot of things
that he's going to need to know once things have
passed to him. And Queen scon and Princess Isabella. I
get their opinion from a feminine perspective, a teenage perspective,
and immature womanly perspective.
Speaker 6 (11:35):
The king from the Republic of Axconia's here with his parents.
They're not involved, but he needs someone to drive him
because he's only ten and his country has a very
important mission.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
What we try to do is we try to prevent
squirrel hunting in all the world.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Not every nation is a monarchy. Some micronations are more
interested in experimenting with new forms of governing. Take for example,
Miles Bradley Huff, known as Swena, who was formerly the
monarch of the technocratic Republic of Athodia, but after a
constitutional convention in twenty fifteen, a Phodia's form of government
(12:13):
was changed to a repositocracy. I don't know what that is,
but it sounded complicated. Mostly, the main goal of the
project is to develop a new way of.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Running society and governments and stuff like that.
Speaker 8 (12:26):
So the lifetime isn't a super big focus. Instance, we
do have our own language, but unlike most micronational languages,
it was made by like a nactual linguist.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Agree in me. Some micronations are formed around communities of
mutual interest. Think Facebook groups with grand ambitions. I meet
Lord's Shadow from the Domain and Realms of the Shadows
in the Darkness, a micronation for magical people. Lord Shadow
wore a cape and carried a staff. In surprise, it's
not the only magical micronation.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
The magical spiritual world.
Speaker 12 (12:58):
It touches everybody's lives, even if you don't really believe it,
because it's all.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
A matter of perception.
Speaker 16 (13:04):
You know, people perceive different forces and different sides.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Of the world differently.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Micronations are all over the world, and the micronations in
Europe seem to be a little more serious. I chat
with two delegates from the Kingdom of North Barshan. They
were sent here by the Queen who was still in Europe.
Speaker 17 (13:24):
We have owned radio radio channel for people who like
radio scenes radio.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 17 (13:36):
This one.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Another European micronation is the Principality of Agumont, and they
created a real currency that you can actually use to
buy real things.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
The three years of a rook under.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
No.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
This is a result.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
If you want, thank you so much?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
How much is this worth? It'shs In the hall, I
meet the Supreme Leader of Montonia Ian Turnbull. He started
his nation at age eight. He's eighteen now and still going.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
We are at war with a nation called the Republic
of Alaska, purely so we can sell war bonds. That's
been six years.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
How much for a war bond five to.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Ten bucks a month on our Patreon. You can reach
it through our website.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
And as you're probably hearing a lot, in fact, the
vast majority of micro nationalists are men.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Can you believe it that dudes would want to run
their own country.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
But one of the younger people here is the leader
of Maristan, and she's using her country to combat that
head on.
Speaker 18 (14:47):
So I feel like there should be war women in politics.
I know that there are so many obstacles, like I
know that, oh there is men's planning or like that
is what mentor up guys like one of men doesn't
let a woman finish car talks our ideas.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Some people do just love the LARPing, the cosplay. I
think Renaissance fair, but with less sword swallowing. I meet
Baron Matthew Seltzer, Oledonian citizen. He's in a green suit
with lots of medals.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
I think this is the West who medals for peace
and friendship.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
That's the Order of the Fuller.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Cross, and then this is the Order of Friendship.
Speaker 13 (15:30):
So yeah, those those, yeah, those were all.
Speaker 6 (15:32):
Worded to me.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
You can give you people a small grass thank you.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
And some are just kids acting out good old war fantasies,
like the Emperor from the Kingdom of Kaeperberg and his
military general.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
We're big, like military based.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
We do a lot of battles elsewhere.
Speaker 6 (15:48):
I talked to ASA, who runs Kernin like a lot
of the kids here. He discovered the idea of micronations
online on MicroWiki, which is the ultimate database of all
things micronations with thousands of users. Micro Nationalists use the
site to conduct diplomacy and sometimes war.
Speaker 11 (16:06):
When I found this idea over the internet, I was
just dumbfounded and shot by it. I thought I should
declare nation myself. My brain blew to bits, and I
did it.
Speaker 6 (16:22):
According to ASA, many enemies have tried to conquer the
nation of Kernan, but not Ace's new friend, Hank of
hank Land. He's a dictator and his military jacket is
so long it almost trails on the ground.
Speaker 19 (16:34):
I really didn't want to be a monarchy, but I
wanted to have a bunch of power, So I decided
to a dictatorship.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Do you have any dictators that you'd particularly.
Speaker 19 (16:45):
Like if we're going micro nation dictators? I think President
Kevin Baugh and the leader of slow Jamistan.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
We'll get to Slow Jamistan. But as we're talking, a
man with a zillion metals walks by, and Asa and
Hank are starstruck.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
There he is President baw himself.
Speaker 14 (17:06):
He has liked the best jacket. Thank you awesome does absolutely.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Kevin Baugh is the president of Milossia. His is one
of the oldest micro nations. He founded it in the
nineteen seventies, and as he walks through the hotel conference rooms,
everyone knows who he is.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Malassie has been around as a concept since nineteen seventy seven,
but in nineteen ninety eight Kevin bought some land in
a subdivision in Nevada outside Carson City. He's been hard
at work nation building ever since. We called up Kevin
when he wasn't surrounded by other micro nationalists and asked
about becoming Malassian citizens ourselves.
Speaker 8 (17:46):
He said, no, you need to be a member of
our family. Malassia is kind of a family nation in
all actuality. Really, the law is we need to know
you personally. We're a population of thirty four right now.
That does include our dogs. Our dogs are citizens.
Speaker 6 (18:03):
Okay, only the President, the first Lady, and one of
their daughters live on the property. It'd be hard to
fit all thirty four citizens into Malossia. It's one point
three acres of desert and only has two bathrooms. But
there's a post office, trading company, Malossan bank, the Office
of the President, and the Center of malass and Social Life,
which obviously is a tiki hut.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Bar and grill.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
They've also built monuments, the Peace pol the Pineapple Fountain,
the Friendship Gateway, and Norton Park. They celebrate twenty nine
official state holidays every year, and Melassia has become a
big tourist destination, even appearing in official State of Nevada
tourism materials.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Like how many tourists on a given week?
Speaker 8 (18:45):
Would you say, well, no, we only do one tour
a month. We would be just an undated, absolutely overwhelmed.
We want to be as welcoming as we can, but
frequently I've had folks show up and we're still in
our our pajamas and they're you know, knocking on the door.
One of the country and come on here.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Jack Black stopped by once another time The Today Show
came with some.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Cameras, are we on Malossian soil right now?
Speaker 8 (19:11):
You're now in our sovereign territory.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
He's serious. Once he crossed the.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Border, we wanted to know how serious Kevin actually was
about all this, so we asked about his diplomatic efforts
if he ever tried to take Malassia into the real
political world.
Speaker 8 (19:25):
We have an informal diplomacy policy when it comes to
other micronations. We're just basically friends. We don't offer recognition
or have embassy or treaties or anything like that, and
that is primarily because we ourselves are not recognized as
sovereign by the established countries of the world. We have
definitely tried and reached out to many nations, but we
(19:48):
really haven't gotten a positive response so or even no
response at all, probably would was just spam fold or
I don't.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
Know, but that didn't stop his excellency from making proclamations
as if Melossia was real.
Speaker 8 (19:58):
Years ago, when Kosovo became its own nation, we reached
out to them. We were the first country to recognize
them as sovereign, and we did very something very similar
with South Sudan. I mean, that's kind of what garments do.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
What do you think it would take for micronations to
be recognized, you like, for your nation to be recognized
by the United States?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Like, what would have to happen?
Speaker 8 (20:20):
Frankly, I think the US would just basically had to
fall apart first, because no country willingly gives up their territory,
and for a micronation to be recognized as sovereign would
be acknowledging that there is a country inside this country.
That country, yeah, this country, I guess, and most countries are.
They're very uncomfortable with that and often respond violently when
(20:44):
we don't want violence. Violence is a bad thing. Plus
we're really really tiny, and if it wouldn't last very long.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Coming up after the break at micro con, we dig
into that blurry line between a country and not a country.
With Zach from Zakistan plus a princess and a baron
stick with us in the hall, I find Zach Landsberg
(21:20):
wandering around getting a Zakistani passport stamped. Zach's the reason
I heard about all this. I'd tried to become a
Zakistani citizen many years ago, but my application never went through.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
So Republic of sound Land came into Albonia.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Zach seems to be a bit of an outlier at
this conference. He's got more of a Western punk vibe,
wears a cowboy hat and a bolo tie.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Grand Republicans like Chlodia and this wants the Technocratic Republic.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
ATDIA, I follow Zach as he reaches the table of
Princess Chloe, who's decked out in a red dress, white
gloves and a tiny tiara. How's it going formally? I
really admire your deal.
Speaker 10 (22:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 15 (22:10):
I really enjoy what you're doing exactly science.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
It's really great.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Can you say my passport?
Speaker 8 (22:15):
Oh yeah, sure, sure sure?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Which which nationary from US?
Speaker 15 (22:21):
San Cretosia. So it's the Principality of San Pratocia is
located in Montreal, and it's a one year and seven
months old micro nations.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 15 (22:32):
Still in the beginning. For me, the main reason was
that Quebec decided to back down on transgender rights, but
they wanted to to introduce a sex identity and the
gender identity so you would be able to change your
gender identity whenever you like. But not the sexual identity,
so that was a step back because it would ut
many people. So the first thing I wanted to do
(22:53):
was the identity cards, the passport, the documentation which would
represent your identity, heat and who you are. And then
of course from that, well it why not continue the project?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
San Cratosia might be the most politically motivated micronation we encounter.
The princess has a political agenda, and she decided that
creating her own nation was the best way to make change.
Both Zach and the Princess tell me they've applied to
host micro Con twenty twenty five. Zach's own table is
set up just down the hall. A huge Zakistani flag,
(23:29):
red with a giant golden squid is taped to the window.
On the table are postcards, pins, and a sign up
sheet for the Zakistan Department of Tourism. Zach's trying to
get people to join him on a trip to Zakistan
to fix up his nation, which has fallen into disrepair.
But it's really really far from anything.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
So yeah, it's drivable to a certain point on the
dirt roads, and then you know, like Lever's got the
heavy duty vehicle, we can ferry. You know, like groups
of people out there.
Speaker 6 (23:59):
In the conference. I find Rankin mcgillavy. He's the chancellor
of a country called Slabovia, the one run by King
George two point zero. They founded it in the eighties.
Rankin's standing next to a long scroll unfurled haphazardly on
the Fuchia carpet. It reads Montevideo Convention on the Rights
(24:19):
and Duties of States. It's kind of the foundational document
for everyone here, on par with say, the Magna Carta
or the Declaration of Independence. But this one was drafted
in nineteen thirty three as a set of guidelines to
determine what gets to be a real state.
Speaker 14 (24:37):
So the Montevideo Convention is the theory of declarative statehood,
which means that you can declare yourself a nation as
opposed to being required to be recognized by others. It's
a principle upon which most of these micronations have established themselves.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Besides proclaiming we are a nation or in some cases
I am a nation, the four other criteri are one,
you have a permanent population, two a functioning method of government,
three the capacity to enter into diplomatic relations, and for
a land claim. The land claim is the biggest issue
for most micronations.
Speaker 14 (25:15):
The kind of skirt the land claim part that definition.
It's a land claim, so you don't actually have to
have the land, you can just claim it.
Speaker 6 (25:23):
Sol Bovia, for example, doesn't have any territory technically. On
the MicroWiki, it says its territory is in the heart's,
minds and bodies of its citizens. They also claim a
few hundred acres on Mars, and Rankin tells me the whole.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Project is a bit of a joke.
Speaker 6 (25:41):
What its citizens have done over almost forty years is
dress up, fabricate a nation that includes coups and wars,
design a government with laws and policy, give each other
prestigious government positions, make jokes, and play politics with other
micro nationalists, and that seems to be the tone of
(26:02):
most micronations.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's fun.
Speaker 6 (26:04):
It's like playing pretend for adults, and their fun is
backed up by the Montevideo Convention. That's what makes it
feel real.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Okay, So essentially these micro nationalists are just doing the
same thing that the founding fathers did. There are conventing
countries according to a set of rules while wearing wigs
and funny outfits. But this Monte Video Convention, that's the
rules that makes it all real.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
Right, Yeah, micro nationalists do use it for legitimacy, to
give themselves a pat on the back, like, look, we
did our due diligence with this document air go. We
are a real place. You can't deny our existence.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
And well it's true. Macro nations like the US don't
deny their existence. They just kind of ignore them altogether.
Many of the guys we met will quote the four
tenants of the Declaration Land, Population, Government and all that
as if it were a kind of scripture that gave
them real power. Zach from Zakistan, he's a little different.
(27:01):
He's a serious dude, doesn't buy into the cosplay thing,
and he's skeptical of some of the bigger, you could say,
colonial ambitions of people here. Did you sign this Montevideo Convention?
Uh No. Unlike other micro nationalists, Zach's not interested in
crowning himself king or anything like that. He doesn't even
(27:22):
have a title. He's also one of the few non
white people here. When Zack spoke to the crowd during
the Q and A session, he was kind of critical
of what people were doing.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I can only speak for myself and not the group,
but I would say my project is driven by ideological motives,
and that I would say generally, I think nationalism is bad,
and that people on the receiving end of ugly types
of nationalism, you know, recognize this sort of pageantry and
(27:54):
this you know, this thing like sometimes that's not positive
and so like if you're the subject of that, you
didn't elect, that's problematic.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Zach finds it weird that given a totally blank slate,
many here at micro Khon choose to mimic the colonial
dictator fantasy, perhaps no one more so than Sultan Randy
from Slow Jamastan.
Speaker 16 (28:19):
I also have to pee very badly. I have not
even pedias. That was what I was supposed to be
the beginning of the break. But I see you with
the microphone, and I have a chance to brag about
those citizens make ord nation look good.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
You know what I say?
Speaker 16 (28:29):
The chuckles can wait.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Sultan and Randy are two words you wouldn't think go together,
but here we are at microcon where anything is possible.
Sultan Randy is the founder of Slow jama Stan. It's
in the desert like Zakistan, and Molossia. But Randy, well,
he's probably the most well known micro nationalist in the
US right now. Why because he is really lentless when
(29:00):
it comes to self promotion.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
DJ, whois spent much of his life visiting every country
in the world, decided to create his own and named
it slow Jemastan.
Speaker 6 (29:10):
It was created by San Diego Slow Jam DJ Randy Williams,
who purchased this empty desert lot in twenty twenty one.
He's founded his own nation here in California, called the
Republic of slow Jamistan, Slow Jamastonishing.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Slow Jamas than Sultan.
Speaker 6 (29:27):
Randy wears a green military style suit. His jacket is
embroidered with raccoons, which is the country's mascot, and he's
faking an accent, which we'll say is ambiguous.
Speaker 16 (29:39):
Slow Jemastan was created as me as an American who
who grew tired thanoid and actually, I think concerned is
the best word. Concerned of the epidemic that was spreading
across America now the world. The shoes is a generous word,
but we'll call them shoes for simplicity. These shoes with
the big, the big clown shoes with the holes they
called no Cardux with you'll feed no Cadux fantastic look.
(30:00):
I tried to resolve this method in the United States
by peacefully requesting lawmakers and law enforcement agencies both local, regional,
and national, to help stop the problem, and my messages
fell on defeads. So we instead started the own nation
founded on the prohibition of such embarrassing shoes. Do you
own crooxetel? You don't even know them.
Speaker 6 (30:19):
It's just fantastic in defensive crocs, though, I will say
I don't think they're that bad. You know, they're comfortable, pragmatic.
You can get gibbets. They're ugly, but I never thought
that would make someone start a nation. Before he was
a sultan, Randy was a world traveler.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
He still is.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
He's visited one hundred and ninety three countries, and at
some point in the past few years he added micronations
to his list of places to visit. And when he
saw President Kevin Bosmolossia a couple of years ago, Randy
decided to start his own nation. So in August twenty
twenty one, he bought some land west of San Diego.
(30:58):
He didn't think Kevin Inzac did. He gave it a name,
built a border, crossing, put out some signs, and even
pass some laws.
Speaker 16 (31:05):
You cannot drive in the passing lane unless you are
a passing This is another thing because people in America
don't understand you cannot should not reply all to an
all staffed email unless it's is absolutely urgent. Mumble rap.
We hate the mumble rap. String cheese, you must feel it.
Don't chump the string cheese. It's called string cheese for
a reason.
Speaker 6 (31:22):
I can agree with Randy here it's diabol cool to
not eat string cheese as strings. But in our conversation
at micro con, Randy does hence that slow Jama stand
isn't all fun in games, Although he does sell a
lot of merch passports, T shirts, etc. At the end
of the day, I think it's fair to say he's
hemorrhaging money.
Speaker 16 (31:42):
I would tell you that the Land and Slow, you understand,
is a little bit more stubborn and unforgiving than I
first imagined. We are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy
and financial crisis, I will tell you, and initial investment
was nineteen thousand for the land. But then the Sultan
decides to buy boxes of T shirts and stickers and
pins and currency, and this stuff is not free. Yes,
we do not tax the citizens, so this is another problem.
That's another oversight.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Sultan, Randy, President Bah and Zach all have desert micro nations.
They have real plots of land, plenty of bureaucracy, and
large numbers of citizens. The kids with the big ideas
and the tiny nations look up to them. But Randy
has taking the act further than the rest. He sells
off parcels to member states, creating a kind of federation.
(32:27):
He's gotten lots of people involved, even travels with an entourage.
And you're the Sultan's security. Are you allowed to comment? No,
I'm here to secure I secure the Sultan. That's why
I did. Did you cleared the building? The building has
been cleared of all cross Does anybody ever try to
(32:50):
get you to break character? That's not a character, sir.
Speaker 6 (32:53):
This is who we are in real life. Randy is
a DJ. He plays slow jams for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
You can believe it.
Speaker 6 (33:01):
Have you done any work in legitimizing sol Jamsam within
the United States?
Speaker 16 (33:07):
Well, littery, legitimate, I'm not true. Why you ask the question?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
It is Yeah, that was a weird question. Let me
rephrase it. I guess recognition in the United States.
Speaker 6 (33:15):
Has there been any Randy pulls out his phone to
show me an email he sent to President Biden.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Please don't send in the troops.
Speaker 16 (33:22):
We had a peace loving nation and we wish to
cooperate with the United States in almost every way except
for the Texas and laws, and well we kind of
have our own national anthem. So there's that. It's a
real toad table. Oh and you're invited to come anytime.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Don't worry.
Speaker 6 (33:38):
He also sent a letter to the Secretary General of
United Nations.
Speaker 16 (33:42):
Anyway, thank you in advance for saving us a seat
at the UN in the first five rows if possible. Sorry,
I hate to be that guy. We plan to attend
your next session in New York. Please let us know
if you have any hotel room hook ups as well,
or you and I can even go have these on
a room together like your fees those New York Cultailler
rates so highway robbery strong hug Is that Randy out
of the William Sultan of Slotiamatan.
Speaker 6 (34:03):
Randy never stops doing the bit. He stays in character
the whole time. He won't stop riffing. He won't stop
ad libbing, even as the smell of tacos start wafting
over us.
Speaker 16 (34:15):
Everybody's enjoying tacos. The Sultan is working because yes, do
I want to taco?
Speaker 10 (34:19):
Yes?
Speaker 16 (34:19):
Did I have breakfast this morning? Of course I did.
I'm still hungry, absolutely I am. I also have to
pee very badly. I have not even paid yet. That
was what I was supposed to do the beginning of
the break But I see you with a microphone, and
I have a chance to brag about our citizens. Make
our nation look good. You know what I say. The
tacos can wait.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
Zach walks over tacos in hand.
Speaker 16 (34:36):
You ask what it takes to be a leader. Zach
is already eight and he's very full. He is having
a drink.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
He's relaxing.
Speaker 16 (34:42):
Yes, the Sultan is not.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Play tacos for the photo. Dudes, keep that to keep
keep them going.
Speaker 7 (34:49):
I had one, but.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
You have a You gotta provide for the CITs injury, right,
you know, I.
Speaker 16 (34:56):
Will be serious for one second. The two micronations that
inspired me number of one was molossi. The first micronation
I visited, Yes, and then shortly later I went down
the micronation hole and I discovered Zakistan, and I said,
here's a young man who basically has some beautiful land,
but he has an idea, and he lets other people
enjoy his idea. So I will tell you that those
two ideas fuse together. But at the end of the Zakistan,
(35:18):
I said, if he can do it, I can do it.
I want to join him. And now he has become
a good friend and a good ally good yoga partner.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
So the Sultan copied Zach's idea took it a little further.
Zach's diplomatic about it wages peace, not war. But Zach
seeds a deeper meaning to Slow Jamistan beyond the raccoons
and the crocs, especially since Slow jama Stan is pretty
close to the border between US and Mexico. We talked
to Rick Sultan, Randy's director of emergency services, and Zach
(35:49):
suggests the whole Slow Jamistan project is important political satire.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I know Randy leans into like Croc saying you cook raccoons,
and there's a lot of kind of cartoonish elements, But
I mean the porter patrol thing that you guys have
going on too. I think he's like you the pretty
pointed commentary, sort of the militarization that that whole zone.
There's a real political commentary on it, right, Or are
(36:17):
you guys kind of just do what you're doing, just
doing what we're doing.
Speaker 10 (36:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (36:23):
So that Sultan Randy Zaren you weren't there.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (36:28):
He seems like a kick? I mean, from what I
can tell, he's this like semi racist caricature of a
desert dwelling shake. But for some reason he calls himself
a sultan and also has the vibes of Momar Kadaffi.
You know, it sounds like he and his crew are
having fun. I always like that, But I didn't meet
the guy, So what do I know?
Speaker 6 (36:47):
Yeah, I mean, if you want to over intellectualize it,
sure I can agree with you. But I think he's
mostly just doing a bit mmm.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
But that was something I found strange, I mean, for
pretending to be politician. Most of the micro nationalists were
not very interested in politics, except maybe for Zach, who's
brought a peace offering for every single person. Let's get
to the closing ceremony of micro Coon.
Speaker 10 (37:14):
It is nigh on four o'clock, almost four, and we have.
We have a lot of awards to get through, So
who has the first haiku?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
In years past, this whole thing took hours because every
micronation had medals for practically every other micronation. This year,
the Queen of Ladonia caps the speeches to haikus, you know,
three lines and a bunch of syllables or whatever. And
the person running up to the stage first, Sultan Randy.
Speaker 16 (37:43):
It is the haiku.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
You can count the syllables.
Speaker 16 (37:46):
Thrust your Sultan, but here's the kaiku raccoon of friendship,
an award of a lifetime.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I wish we had more.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 6 (38:01):
The person who gets the most medals is none other
than President Kevin bah. Basically every nation gives him one.
Speaker 18 (38:08):
The first person will give my prize to President Kevin
Ball for being considered the best politician of Microcon according
to the delegation offers.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
And then it's Zach's turn to present, and Zach does
it a little differently.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
We exclude no one. We award to everyone rocks from Zakistan.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
He puts out a box full of red velvet bags
stamped with a giant squid, each containing an actual rock
he brought back from Zakistan. The crowd flocks to the
stage at the Galla dinner, Everyone's dulled up in their
(38:53):
finest formal wear. I'm staying at a table with Zach
and a few others. They're about to announce the host
of the next microcn King George two point zero brings
up Eric List of the Erican Empire and Princess Chloe,
both of whose micronations are in Montreal.
Speaker 13 (39:12):
So I am very excited to say that's micro Cone
twenty twenty five, barring further global pandemics or anything like that,
will be held in Montreal, Canada.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
I turned to Zach, well, how do you feel about.
Speaker 12 (39:25):
Not getting it relieved?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I think we dash a bullet because I don't. I
don't really want to arrange a wedding right now, you know,
or like in two years.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
So that's it. Another micro con in the books.
Speaker 7 (39:43):
The most via the micro has.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Our time in Joliette was fun, but I was left
with this nagging feeling is that it is there more
that micronations could be doing in the real world. There
were people like the Princess of San Cratocia, whose nation
was created to advocate for trans rights. But I kept
thinking back to something Zach told me about the founding
(40:15):
of Zakistan during the George W. Bush era.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
The kernel of the whole Zakistan idea kind of stems from, like, Okay,
you know, I didn't vote for this guy. I don't
approve anything that like my government's doing. So is there
a way to create my own identity?
Speaker 5 (40:35):
Right?
Speaker 1 (40:36):
But I wonder could a startup nation become a real
one with real power In the United States? With the
fault lines in American democracy growing every day, it felt
like I should explore what it might be like to
really give it a go. And so I decided to
take Zach up on his offer head out to the
(40:58):
desert to see what nation build thing was really all about.
I wanted to become Zakistani.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Welcome to zachs sname, thank.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
You, very happy to be here. President Ba and Sultan
Randy agreed to come out there too.
Speaker 8 (41:13):
Holy hell, this is in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Along the journey, I met some crazy characters. I was
making rockets.
Speaker 16 (41:19):
There's a black powder and all this explosive waterheads and
still things like that.
Speaker 19 (41:25):
When you have the citizenship, at least for me, that's
what's the first country that I can stand for the
flag and say this is my flag.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
I was really upset.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Well, America is not good enough for him.
Speaker 6 (41:38):
We ought to find you and run you out of
the country for starting your own nation, and.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Things did not go according to plan.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
They're fifty five pounds of water five pounds of concrete.
Speaker 12 (41:47):
I've just been drinking water, no stopping.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
I'm still dehydrated.
Speaker 10 (41:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
My legs kind of get wobbly, and I like kind
of like lean over and just cukee and I like
look at Jeff, and Jeff flicks at BA.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
We're like, this is a Oh my god, what is.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That Bulla's bull?
Speaker 4 (42:04):
That was the first invasion of Zakistan?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Well, why can't I trackeline country? My full fathers do
that themselves. I think there's a turn off in between
here and there that we missed. Damn dude, this is complicated.
This is where government and the American dream kind of clash.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
I feel like I'm gonna put somebody off the cliff.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
If you want us to meet you out, what do
you want to do?
Speaker 7 (42:28):
Are you there?
Speaker 6 (42:35):
Escape from Zakistan is a production of iHeart Podcasts and
School of Humans. The show was written by Ryan Murdoch.
Zarah Burnett is our story editor and co host. Reporting,
hosting and editing by Gabby Watts and Ryan Murdoch. Editing
by Emily Meronoff, Music and sound design by Jesse Niswanger.
Show art by Lucy Kingtonia Executive producers are Jason English,
(42:57):
Brandon Barr, Elsie Crowley for Jenny Prescott and Ryan Murdock.
Thanks for listening.
Big old rain looking cloud to southwest. That's up weather.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh, I mean that looks like it's bigger than it
was before.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And the wind blowing towards us.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
So that's fine, wish what the rain flies on?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Dam it's getting windy, man, Holy ship.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Using your.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
Not In the middle of the desert, in a location
I swore not to reveal is a tiny, tiny, tiny nation,
(01:05):
the nation of Zakistan. Documentarian Ryan Murdoch went there to
find out what it was all about, and it did
not go according to plan.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh my god, what is that?
Speaker 7 (01:20):
Bulls?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
That was the first invasion of Zakistan.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
From My Heart podcast and School of Humans. This is
Escape from Zakistan.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
They're fifty five gallons of water for five hundred pounds
of concrete.
Speaker 8 (01:33):
Holy hell, this is in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I don't think I slept at all. Mostly was thinking
about how we're going to get out of here.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Episode one, Diplomacy.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm Ryan Murdoch and spoiler alert, I made it home
from Zakistan, but barely, and I'll tell you the story
of what happened out there in this podcast. But first
you may be wondering what the hell is Zakistan is?
It a former Soviet Republic, an ethnic enclave in the
Middle East, an elaborate art project created by a guy
(02:08):
named zach Well. Zakistan is a micro nation, a concept
I got really interested in a few years ago. And
it turns out there's a lot of them, so many
that there's a conference of micronations where they all get together.
It's called micro Khan.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
I'm Gabby Watts, and what am I doing here? Ryan
asked if I could help produce a podcast about micronations?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
And I've been.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Looking for an excuse to get to a holiday inn
in Joliet, Illinois.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
That's where micro con was, and.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm Zeren Bernett. I did not get to go to Joliet,
but Ryan did pull both of us in to help
figure out what's really going on beneath the surface with
these micronations. Okay, I'm drawn to stories about subcultures, non
traditional communities and the hinges of history, but honestly, I
loved this idea as soon as I heard there was
a place called Slow jama Stan. I mean, I had questions.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
So Gabby's aaron, what exactly is a micronation?
Speaker 6 (03:04):
A micronation is kind of what it sounds like a
tiny startup nation. There's hundreds of them all over the world,
on every continent.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Ah, so like Luxembourg or the Vatican.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Uh No, those are micro states.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Microstates. Oh okay, I see, it's.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
More about declaring your own country to be sovereign.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Okay, So then more like Palestine, South Sudan or Taiwan.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
Also, no, micronations are decidedly less serious most of the time.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
So then more like the guys in Oregon who tried
to secede from the US.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
I'm sorry, but you're wrong again.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Those guys have declared themselves sovereign from the US, but
they haven't founded their own nation, at least not yet.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Okay, Okay, then I give up. What's a micronation.
Speaker 6 (03:50):
Well, it's probably easier to hear it than explain it.
So let's start with some of the people who are
there at Microcon.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I am er lord of the micronation of the domain
than Rome.
Speaker 9 (04:00):
King Ernesty Manuel, President of Katramanoscelin.
Speaker 10 (04:04):
I am the Queen of LADONIAI I'm Jackson, King of Kaeperberg.
Speaker 11 (04:07):
President of Hankland, the main leader of the oligarch state
of Kernin, the President of Republic of foundland.
Speaker 7 (04:13):
King Bergan, the first of the King of Oxconia.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
The Supreme Leader of the Grand Republic of Montonia, President
of Excelsior.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
It's a pretty distinguished sounding group and they all came
together one weekend last year at that Holiday Inn conference
center in Joliet, Illinois.
Speaker 12 (04:32):
There's a hallway with about say twenty tables so far.
Everyone's getting set up with their displays, a lot of
foam coreps board, a lot of stickers, a lot of flags,
a lot of pins.
Speaker 10 (04:48):
Morning, if everybody would take it away from the other
end of the hallway, Queen Carolyn is doing registration.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Queen Carolyn is the host of this year's micro KHN,
the fifth her micro nation. Ladonia is the host country.
Technically Ladonia is in Sweden. Well more, technically Ladonia is
surrounded by Sweden, but the Queen, she lives in a
gated community in Joliet, Illinois. So that's where the convention
(05:17):
is at the Holiday Inn, up the road past the
town's one landmark, the old Joliette Historical Prison. So this
is my venture.
Speaker 12 (05:27):
Security pass, security, nice stamp, neutral zone, border checkpoint, approved,
microcan demilitarized neutral zone.
Speaker 10 (05:37):
Yeah, Hello, King George two point oh.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
King George two point oh gets in line behind me.
I find out that he has ruled his micronation, Slabovia
since twenty eleven, after a coup took down King George
the First. He's also in the steering committee that chooses
which micronation gets to host the next micro khan An early.
Speaker 13 (06:01):
Now I know exactly where it's going to be, but
I'm not going to say sorry.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
The next host nation will be announced at the end
of the kN After registration and some light socializing, everyone
starts filing into the main conference room for the presentations.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Behind the podium is an array of flags.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
It kind of looks like the UN, but all these
flags belong to micronations.
Speaker 10 (06:24):
I am Carolyn, I am the Queen of Ladonia. I
am your host for this year's twenty twenty three micro cons.
This is way more people than we were expecting, to
the point that we've literally run out of flagpoles because
we have so many nations represented. We have forty two nations.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
If you're wondering, there are one hundred and ninety three
member nations in the UN, so forty two fake ones
ain't bad.
Speaker 6 (06:51):
After her intro, Queen Carolyn brings up the presenters who
are talking on topics like how does your micronation do good?
Speaker 4 (06:59):
And cyber security.
Speaker 13 (07:01):
Now, in a perfect world, this would be about a
forty minute talk, but I'm gonna blast through it like
a ferret on amphetamines, will try and keep it under ten.
Speaker 6 (07:07):
This is Eric lyss emperor of the Erican Empire, which
he started when he was five. He's wearing a black
military style jacket with buttons that are smiley faces, and
his topic was something that I was thinking about in
my first few minutes at micro con.
Speaker 13 (07:22):
Obviously, it's easy to imagine that someone dressed up here
like myself, covered in smiley faces, might not be the
most stable of individuals.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
So is this healthy or not?
Speaker 13 (07:32):
Is the essential question. Obviously, I've got a vested interest
in proving that the people in this room are not crazy,
because I'm in the room too.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
Yes, are these people crazy? I know it's not nice
of me to think, but when you're surrounded by people
dressed up as presidents and queens, it's hard not to ask.
But along with being an emperor, Eric is also a psychiatrist,
and he told us about a study he did on
whether or not micro nationalists are crazy.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
The results results.
Speaker 13 (08:00):
If you want to know, talk me afterwards. Nobody cares.
Speaker 6 (08:02):
Nobody did seem to care. Everyone here is just eager
to do some diplomacy. But what he found was that
people who run micronations aren't any crazier than anybody else
in leadership.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Which, given the general quality of leadership in our country,
isn't saying much.
Speaker 10 (08:19):
We do have a big lunch planned if we're going
to have a taco bar.
Speaker 6 (08:24):
Yay, as excited as I am about the taco bar.
We've got diplomats to meet. The first thing I noticed
is their outfits.
Speaker 11 (08:32):
So you can wear literally anything to get attention, like
a giant cake with a sash and a flag on
your fedora, like I'm doing right now, basically something to
say look at me.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
People don pins, sashes, scarves, crowns, medals, cure.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I have a pin.
Speaker 14 (08:52):
It's the Mainten's cross.
Speaker 15 (08:53):
The maintenance cross is one of our national symbols.
Speaker 7 (08:56):
My sword it is more of a walking stick the
sword because it's not very sharp.
Speaker 6 (09:03):
There are people in diplomatic suits, military ensembles, ball gowns, kilts.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
A lot of folks are Scottish and coverts it's a
nice little folk costing.
Speaker 9 (09:11):
I am wearing a royal Cambodian ensemble on my lapel.
Speaker 13 (09:16):
I have a golden gavel pin to sim whiz that
I'm the head.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Of the government.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Zaren.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
Since you weren't at micro Con, is this all making
sense so far?
Speaker 7 (09:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I mean kind I guess what I'm hearing is this
is like LARPing for people who love model you in
am I wrong? Is it more than that? Well?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
It isn't it? Isn't it? I mean it's more than
that because beyond the titles and funny outfits, these people
are investing lots of time and energy in building their
own countries. Let's just face it. Are country's a mess.
And there's a line you hear more and more of
these days from people on both sides of the political spectrum.
If their candidate doesn't win, they're leaving the country. They
(09:58):
talk about moving to Canada or Portugal or Australia, but
even those places have their own issues. For some of
the people we met at Microcon, they've decided to start
their own country in a world of flawed alternatives, so
it's kind of like just a coping mechanism for them.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Yeah, it's their own little fictional utopias.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And some of these people have been doing this for
a while. I talked with the Grand Duke Travis McHenry
of West Arctica. He told me that in two thousand
and one, Travis Lake claimed the thousands of acres of
unclaimed territory in Antarctica thanks to what he says is
a legal loophole and the Antarctic Treaty. He sent declarations
(10:38):
to every nation that signed the treaty, sang as much,
but he's never actually been there.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Another year, another another inability to get down there.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It's so funny.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, and I'm just not ready yet to drop sixty
grand Can you take a take a submersible?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Ah yeah, great Ideaeah yeah, and then it would just
be instead of a smart billionaires drowned, it would be
idiot drowns.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
Emmanuel the First stands in the hallway with his wife, son,
and daughter. Together they make up the royal family of Amathonia.
Speaker 9 (11:14):
Crown Prince Gabriel. I'm teaching him a lot of things
that he's going to need to know once things have
passed to him. And Queen scon and Princess Isabella. I
get their opinion from a feminine perspective, a teenage perspective,
and immature womanly perspective.
Speaker 6 (11:35):
The king from the Republic of Axconia's here with his parents.
They're not involved, but he needs someone to drive him
because he's only ten and his country has a very
important mission.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
What we try to do is we try to prevent
squirrel hunting in all the world.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Not every nation is a monarchy. Some micronations are more
interested in experimenting with new forms of governing. Take for example,
Miles Bradley Huff, known as Swena, who was formerly the
monarch of the technocratic Republic of Athodia, but after a
constitutional convention in twenty fifteen, a Phodia's form of government
(12:13):
was changed to a repositocracy. I don't know what that is,
but it sounded complicated. Mostly, the main goal of the
project is to develop a new way of.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Running society and governments and stuff like that.
Speaker 8 (12:26):
So the lifetime isn't a super big focus. Instance, we
do have our own language, but unlike most micronational languages,
it was made by like a nactual linguist.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Agree in me. Some micronations are formed around communities of
mutual interest. Think Facebook groups with grand ambitions. I meet
Lord's Shadow from the Domain and Realms of the Shadows
in the Darkness, a micronation for magical people. Lord Shadow
wore a cape and carried a staff. In surprise, it's
not the only magical micronation.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
The magical spiritual world.
Speaker 12 (12:58):
It touches everybody's lives, even if you don't really believe it,
because it's all.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
A matter of perception.
Speaker 16 (13:04):
You know, people perceive different forces and different sides.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Of the world differently.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Micronations are all over the world, and the micronations in
Europe seem to be a little more serious. I chat
with two delegates from the Kingdom of North Barshan. They
were sent here by the Queen who was still in Europe.
Speaker 17 (13:24):
We have owned radio radio channel for people who like
radio scenes radio.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 17 (13:36):
This one.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Another European micronation is the Principality of Agumont, and they
created a real currency that you can actually use to
buy real things.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
The three years of a rook under.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
No.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
This is a result.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
If you want, thank you so much?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
How much is this worth? It'shs In the hall, I
meet the Supreme Leader of Montonia Ian Turnbull. He started
his nation at age eight. He's eighteen now and still going.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
We are at war with a nation called the Republic
of Alaska, purely so we can sell war bonds. That's
been six years.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
How much for a war bond five to.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Ten bucks a month on our Patreon. You can reach
it through our website.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
And as you're probably hearing a lot, in fact, the
vast majority of micro nationalists are men.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Can you believe it that dudes would want to run
their own country.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
But one of the younger people here is the leader
of Maristan, and she's using her country to combat that
head on.
Speaker 18 (14:47):
So I feel like there should be war women in politics.
I know that there are so many obstacles, like I
know that, oh there is men's planning or like that
is what mentor up guys like one of men doesn't
let a woman finish car talks our ideas.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Some people do just love the LARPing, the cosplay. I
think Renaissance fair, but with less sword swallowing. I meet
Baron Matthew Seltzer, Oledonian citizen. He's in a green suit
with lots of medals.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
I think this is the West who medals for peace
and friendship.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
That's the Order of the Fuller.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Cross, and then this is the Order of Friendship.
Speaker 13 (15:30):
So yeah, those those, yeah, those were all.
Speaker 6 (15:32):
Worded to me.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
You can give you people a small grass thank you.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
And some are just kids acting out good old war fantasies,
like the Emperor from the Kingdom of Kaeperberg and his
military general.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
We're big, like military based.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
We do a lot of battles elsewhere.
Speaker 6 (15:48):
I talked to ASA, who runs Kernin like a lot
of the kids here. He discovered the idea of micronations
online on MicroWiki, which is the ultimate database of all
things micronations with thousands of users. Micro Nationalists use the
site to conduct diplomacy and sometimes war.
Speaker 11 (16:06):
When I found this idea over the internet, I was
just dumbfounded and shot by it. I thought I should
declare nation myself. My brain blew to bits, and I
did it.
Speaker 6 (16:22):
According to ASA, many enemies have tried to conquer the
nation of Kernan, but not Ace's new friend, Hank of
hank Land. He's a dictator and his military jacket is
so long it almost trails on the ground.
Speaker 19 (16:34):
I really didn't want to be a monarchy, but I
wanted to have a bunch of power, So I decided
to a dictatorship.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Do you have any dictators that you'd particularly.
Speaker 19 (16:45):
Like if we're going micro nation dictators? I think President
Kevin Baugh and the leader of slow Jamistan.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
We'll get to Slow Jamistan. But as we're talking, a
man with a zillion metals walks by, and Asa and
Hank are starstruck.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
There he is President baw himself.
Speaker 14 (17:06):
He has liked the best jacket. Thank you awesome does absolutely.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Kevin Baugh is the president of Milossia. His is one
of the oldest micro nations. He founded it in the
nineteen seventies, and as he walks through the hotel conference rooms,
everyone knows who he is.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Malassie has been around as a concept since nineteen seventy seven,
but in nineteen ninety eight Kevin bought some land in
a subdivision in Nevada outside Carson City. He's been hard
at work nation building ever since. We called up Kevin
when he wasn't surrounded by other micro nationalists and asked
about becoming Malassian citizens ourselves.
Speaker 8 (17:46):
He said, no, you need to be a member of
our family. Malassia is kind of a family nation in
all actuality. Really, the law is we need to know
you personally. We're a population of thirty four right now.
That does include our dogs. Our dogs are citizens.
Speaker 6 (18:03):
Okay, only the President, the first Lady, and one of
their daughters live on the property. It'd be hard to
fit all thirty four citizens into Malossia. It's one point
three acres of desert and only has two bathrooms. But
there's a post office, trading company, Malossan bank, the Office
of the President, and the Center of malass and Social Life,
which obviously is a tiki hut.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Bar and grill.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
They've also built monuments, the Peace pol the Pineapple Fountain,
the Friendship Gateway, and Norton Park. They celebrate twenty nine
official state holidays every year, and Melassia has become a
big tourist destination, even appearing in official State of Nevada
tourism materials.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Like how many tourists on a given week?
Speaker 8 (18:45):
Would you say, well, no, we only do one tour
a month. We would be just an undated, absolutely overwhelmed.
We want to be as welcoming as we can, but
frequently I've had folks show up and we're still in
our our pajamas and they're you know, knocking on the door.
One of the country and come on here.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Jack Black stopped by once another time The Today Show
came with some.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Cameras, are we on Malossian soil right now?
Speaker 8 (19:11):
You're now in our sovereign territory.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
He's serious. Once he crossed the.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Border, we wanted to know how serious Kevin actually was
about all this, so we asked about his diplomatic efforts
if he ever tried to take Malassia into the real
political world.
Speaker 8 (19:25):
We have an informal diplomacy policy when it comes to
other micronations. We're just basically friends. We don't offer recognition
or have embassy or treaties or anything like that, and
that is primarily because we ourselves are not recognized as
sovereign by the established countries of the world. We have
definitely tried and reached out to many nations, but we
(19:48):
really haven't gotten a positive response so or even no
response at all, probably would was just spam fold or
I don't.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
Know, but that didn't stop his excellency from making proclamations
as if Melossia was real.
Speaker 8 (19:58):
Years ago, when Kosovo became its own nation, we reached
out to them. We were the first country to recognize
them as sovereign, and we did very something very similar
with South Sudan. I mean, that's kind of what garments do.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
What do you think it would take for micronations to
be recognized, you like, for your nation to be recognized
by the United States?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Like, what would have to happen?
Speaker 8 (20:20):
Frankly, I think the US would just basically had to
fall apart first, because no country willingly gives up their territory,
and for a micronation to be recognized as sovereign would
be acknowledging that there is a country inside this country.
That country, yeah, this country, I guess, and most countries are.
They're very uncomfortable with that and often respond violently when
(20:44):
we don't want violence. Violence is a bad thing. Plus
we're really really tiny, and if it wouldn't last very long.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Coming up after the break at micro con, we dig
into that blurry line between a country and not a country.
With Zach from Zakistan plus a princess and a baron
stick with us in the hall, I find Zach Landsberg
(21:20):
wandering around getting a Zakistani passport stamped. Zach's the reason
I heard about all this. I'd tried to become a
Zakistani citizen many years ago, but my application never went through.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
So Republic of sound Land came into Albonia.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Zach seems to be a bit of an outlier at
this conference. He's got more of a Western punk vibe,
wears a cowboy hat and a bolo tie.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Grand Republicans like Chlodia and this wants the Technocratic Republic.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
ATDIA, I follow Zach as he reaches the table of
Princess Chloe, who's decked out in a red dress, white
gloves and a tiny tiara. How's it going formally? I
really admire your deal.
Speaker 10 (22:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 15 (22:10):
I really enjoy what you're doing exactly science.
Speaker 6 (22:12):
It's really great.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Can you say my passport?
Speaker 8 (22:15):
Oh yeah, sure, sure sure?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Which which nationary from US?
Speaker 15 (22:21):
San Cretosia. So it's the Principality of San Pratocia is
located in Montreal, and it's a one year and seven
months old micro nations.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 15 (22:32):
Still in the beginning. For me, the main reason was
that Quebec decided to back down on transgender rights, but
they wanted to to introduce a sex identity and the
gender identity so you would be able to change your
gender identity whenever you like. But not the sexual identity,
so that was a step back because it would ut
many people. So the first thing I wanted to do
(22:53):
was the identity cards, the passport, the documentation which would
represent your identity, heat and who you are. And then
of course from that, well it why not continue the project?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
San Cratosia might be the most politically motivated micronation we encounter.
The princess has a political agenda, and she decided that
creating her own nation was the best way to make change.
Both Zach and the Princess tell me they've applied to
host micro Con twenty twenty five. Zach's own table is
set up just down the hall. A huge Zakistani flag,
(23:29):
red with a giant golden squid is taped to the window.
On the table are postcards, pins, and a sign up
sheet for the Zakistan Department of Tourism. Zach's trying to
get people to join him on a trip to Zakistan
to fix up his nation, which has fallen into disrepair.
But it's really really far from anything.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
So yeah, it's drivable to a certain point on the
dirt roads, and then you know, like Lever's got the
heavy duty vehicle, we can ferry. You know, like groups
of people out there.
Speaker 6 (23:59):
In the conference. I find Rankin mcgillavy. He's the chancellor
of a country called Slabovia, the one run by King
George two point zero. They founded it in the eighties.
Rankin's standing next to a long scroll unfurled haphazardly on
the Fuchia carpet. It reads Montevideo Convention on the Rights
(24:19):
and Duties of States. It's kind of the foundational document
for everyone here, on par with say, the Magna Carta
or the Declaration of Independence. But this one was drafted
in nineteen thirty three as a set of guidelines to
determine what gets to be a real state.
Speaker 14 (24:37):
So the Montevideo Convention is the theory of declarative statehood,
which means that you can declare yourself a nation as
opposed to being required to be recognized by others. It's
a principle upon which most of these micronations have established themselves.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Besides proclaiming we are a nation or in some cases
I am a nation, the four other criteri are one,
you have a permanent population, two a functioning method of government,
three the capacity to enter into diplomatic relations, and for
a land claim. The land claim is the biggest issue
for most micronations.
Speaker 14 (25:15):
The kind of skirt the land claim part that definition.
It's a land claim, so you don't actually have to
have the land, you can just claim it.
Speaker 6 (25:23):
Sol Bovia, for example, doesn't have any territory technically. On
the MicroWiki, it says its territory is in the heart's,
minds and bodies of its citizens. They also claim a
few hundred acres on Mars, and Rankin tells me the whole.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Project is a bit of a joke.
Speaker 6 (25:41):
What its citizens have done over almost forty years is
dress up, fabricate a nation that includes coups and wars,
design a government with laws and policy, give each other
prestigious government positions, make jokes, and play politics with other
micro nationalists, and that seems to be the tone of
(26:02):
most micronations.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's fun.
Speaker 6 (26:04):
It's like playing pretend for adults, and their fun is
backed up by the Montevideo Convention. That's what makes it
feel real.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Okay, So essentially these micro nationalists are just doing the
same thing that the founding fathers did. There are conventing
countries according to a set of rules while wearing wigs
and funny outfits. But this Monte Video Convention, that's the
rules that makes it all real.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
Right, Yeah, micro nationalists do use it for legitimacy, to
give themselves a pat on the back, like, look, we
did our due diligence with this document air go. We
are a real place. You can't deny our existence.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
And well it's true. Macro nations like the US don't
deny their existence. They just kind of ignore them altogether.
Many of the guys we met will quote the four
tenants of the Declaration Land, Population, Government and all that
as if it were a kind of scripture that gave
them real power. Zach from Zakistan, he's a little different.
(27:01):
He's a serious dude, doesn't buy into the cosplay thing,
and he's skeptical of some of the bigger, you could say,
colonial ambitions of people here. Did you sign this Montevideo Convention?
Uh No. Unlike other micro nationalists, Zach's not interested in
crowning himself king or anything like that. He doesn't even
(27:22):
have a title. He's also one of the few non
white people here. When Zack spoke to the crowd during
the Q and A session, he was kind of critical
of what people were doing.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I can only speak for myself and not the group,
but I would say my project is driven by ideological motives,
and that I would say generally, I think nationalism is bad,
and that people on the receiving end of ugly types
of nationalism, you know, recognize this sort of pageantry and
(27:54):
this you know, this thing like sometimes that's not positive
and so like if you're the subject of that, you
didn't elect, that's problematic.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Zach finds it weird that given a totally blank slate,
many here at micro Khon choose to mimic the colonial
dictator fantasy, perhaps no one more so than Sultan Randy
from Slow Jamastan.
Speaker 16 (28:19):
I also have to pee very badly. I have not
even pedias. That was what I was supposed to be
the beginning of the break. But I see you with
the microphone, and I have a chance to brag about
those citizens make ord nation look good.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
You know what I say?
Speaker 16 (28:29):
The chuckles can wait.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Sultan and Randy are two words you wouldn't think go together,
but here we are at microcon where anything is possible.
Sultan Randy is the founder of Slow jama Stan. It's
in the desert like Zakistan, and Molossia. But Randy, well,
he's probably the most well known micro nationalist in the
US right now. Why because he is really lentless when
(29:00):
it comes to self promotion.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
DJ, whois spent much of his life visiting every country
in the world, decided to create his own and named
it slow Jemastan.
Speaker 6 (29:10):
It was created by San Diego Slow Jam DJ Randy Williams,
who purchased this empty desert lot in twenty twenty one.
He's founded his own nation here in California, called the
Republic of slow Jamistan, Slow Jamastonishing.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Slow Jamas than Sultan.
Speaker 6 (29:27):
Randy wears a green military style suit. His jacket is
embroidered with raccoons, which is the country's mascot, and he's
faking an accent, which we'll say is ambiguous.
Speaker 16 (29:39):
Slow Jemastan was created as me as an American who
who grew tired thanoid and actually, I think concerned is
the best word. Concerned of the epidemic that was spreading
across America now the world. The shoes is a generous word,
but we'll call them shoes for simplicity. These shoes with
the big, the big clown shoes with the holes they
called no Cardux with you'll feed no Cadux fantastic look.
(30:00):
I tried to resolve this method in the United States
by peacefully requesting lawmakers and law enforcement agencies both local, regional,
and national, to help stop the problem, and my messages
fell on defeads. So we instead started the own nation
founded on the prohibition of such embarrassing shoes. Do you
own crooxetel? You don't even know them.
Speaker 6 (30:19):
It's just fantastic in defensive crocs, though, I will say
I don't think they're that bad. You know, they're comfortable, pragmatic.
You can get gibbets. They're ugly, but I never thought
that would make someone start a nation. Before he was
a sultan, Randy was a world traveler.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
He still is.
Speaker 6 (30:37):
He's visited one hundred and ninety three countries, and at
some point in the past few years he added micronations
to his list of places to visit. And when he
saw President Kevin Bosmolossia a couple of years ago, Randy
decided to start his own nation. So in August twenty
twenty one, he bought some land west of San Diego.
(30:58):
He didn't think Kevin Inzac did. He gave it a name,
built a border, crossing, put out some signs, and even
pass some laws.
Speaker 16 (31:05):
You cannot drive in the passing lane unless you are
a passing This is another thing because people in America
don't understand you cannot should not reply all to an
all staffed email unless it's is absolutely urgent. Mumble rap.
We hate the mumble rap. String cheese, you must feel it.
Don't chump the string cheese. It's called string cheese for
a reason.
Speaker 6 (31:22):
I can agree with Randy here it's diabol cool to
not eat string cheese as strings. But in our conversation
at micro con, Randy does hence that slow Jama stand
isn't all fun in games, Although he does sell a
lot of merch passports, T shirts, etc. At the end
of the day, I think it's fair to say he's
hemorrhaging money.
Speaker 16 (31:42):
I would tell you that the Land and Slow, you understand,
is a little bit more stubborn and unforgiving than I
first imagined. We are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy
and financial crisis, I will tell you, and initial investment
was nineteen thousand for the land. But then the Sultan
decides to buy boxes of T shirts and stickers and
pins and currency, and this stuff is not free. Yes,
we do not tax the citizens, so this is another problem.
That's another oversight.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Sultan, Randy, President Bah and Zach all have desert micro nations.
They have real plots of land, plenty of bureaucracy, and
large numbers of citizens. The kids with the big ideas
and the tiny nations look up to them. But Randy
has taking the act further than the rest. He sells
off parcels to member states, creating a kind of federation.
(32:27):
He's gotten lots of people involved, even travels with an entourage.
And you're the Sultan's security. Are you allowed to comment? No,
I'm here to secure I secure the Sultan. That's why
I did. Did you cleared the building? The building has
been cleared of all cross Does anybody ever try to
(32:50):
get you to break character? That's not a character, sir.
Speaker 6 (32:53):
This is who we are in real life. Randy is
a DJ. He plays slow jams for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
You can believe it.
Speaker 6 (33:01):
Have you done any work in legitimizing sol Jamsam within
the United States?
Speaker 16 (33:07):
Well, littery, legitimate, I'm not true. Why you ask the question?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
It is Yeah, that was a weird question. Let me
rephrase it. I guess recognition in the United States.
Speaker 6 (33:15):
Has there been any Randy pulls out his phone to
show me an email he sent to President Biden.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Please don't send in the troops.
Speaker 16 (33:22):
We had a peace loving nation and we wish to
cooperate with the United States in almost every way except
for the Texas and laws, and well we kind of
have our own national anthem. So there's that. It's a
real toad table. Oh and you're invited to come anytime.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Don't worry.
Speaker 6 (33:38):
He also sent a letter to the Secretary General of
United Nations.
Speaker 16 (33:42):
Anyway, thank you in advance for saving us a seat
at the UN in the first five rows if possible. Sorry,
I hate to be that guy. We plan to attend
your next session in New York. Please let us know
if you have any hotel room hook ups as well,
or you and I can even go have these on
a room together like your fees those New York Cultailler
rates so highway robbery strong hug Is that Randy out
of the William Sultan of Slotiamatan.
Speaker 6 (34:03):
Randy never stops doing the bit. He stays in character
the whole time. He won't stop riffing. He won't stop
ad libbing, even as the smell of tacos start wafting
over us.
Speaker 16 (34:15):
Everybody's enjoying tacos. The Sultan is working because yes, do
I want to taco?
Speaker 10 (34:19):
Yes?
Speaker 16 (34:19):
Did I have breakfast this morning? Of course I did.
I'm still hungry, absolutely I am. I also have to
pee very badly. I have not even paid yet. That
was what I was supposed to do the beginning of
the break But I see you with a microphone, and
I have a chance to brag about our citizens. Make
our nation look good. You know what I say. The
tacos can wait.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
Zach walks over tacos in hand.
Speaker 16 (34:36):
You ask what it takes to be a leader. Zach
is already eight and he's very full. He is having
a drink.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
He's relaxing.
Speaker 16 (34:42):
Yes, the Sultan is not.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Play tacos for the photo. Dudes, keep that to keep
keep them going.
Speaker 7 (34:49):
I had one, but.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
You have a You gotta provide for the CITs injury, right,
you know, I.
Speaker 16 (34:56):
Will be serious for one second. The two micronations that
inspired me number of one was molossi. The first micronation
I visited, Yes, and then shortly later I went down
the micronation hole and I discovered Zakistan, and I said,
here's a young man who basically has some beautiful land,
but he has an idea, and he lets other people
enjoy his idea. So I will tell you that those
two ideas fuse together. But at the end of the Zakistan,
(35:18):
I said, if he can do it, I can do it.
I want to join him. And now he has become
a good friend and a good ally good yoga partner.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
So the Sultan copied Zach's idea took it a little further.
Zach's diplomatic about it wages peace, not war. But Zach
seeds a deeper meaning to Slow Jamistan beyond the raccoons
and the crocs, especially since Slow jama Stan is pretty
close to the border between US and Mexico. We talked
to Rick Sultan, Randy's director of emergency services, and Zach
(35:49):
suggests the whole Slow Jamistan project is important political satire.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I know Randy leans into like Croc saying you cook raccoons,
and there's a lot of kind of cartoonish elements, But
I mean the porter patrol thing that you guys have
going on too. I think he's like you the pretty
pointed commentary, sort of the militarization that that whole zone.
There's a real political commentary on it, right, Or are
(36:17):
you guys kind of just do what you're doing, just
doing what we're doing.
Speaker 10 (36:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (36:23):
So that Sultan Randy Zaren you weren't there.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (36:28):
He seems like a kick? I mean, from what I
can tell, he's this like semi racist caricature of a
desert dwelling shake. But for some reason he calls himself
a sultan and also has the vibes of Momar Kadaffi.
You know, it sounds like he and his crew are
having fun. I always like that, But I didn't meet
the guy, So what do I know?
Speaker 6 (36:47):
Yeah, I mean, if you want to over intellectualize it,
sure I can agree with you. But I think he's
mostly just doing a bit mmm.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
But that was something I found strange, I mean, for
pretending to be politician. Most of the micro nationalists were
not very interested in politics, except maybe for Zach, who's
brought a peace offering for every single person. Let's get
to the closing ceremony of micro Coon.
Speaker 10 (37:14):
It is nigh on four o'clock, almost four, and we have.
We have a lot of awards to get through, So
who has the first haiku?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
In years past, this whole thing took hours because every
micronation had medals for practically every other micronation. This year,
the Queen of Ladonia caps the speeches to haikus, you know,
three lines and a bunch of syllables or whatever. And
the person running up to the stage first, Sultan Randy.
Speaker 16 (37:43):
It is the haiku.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
You can count the syllables.
Speaker 16 (37:46):
Thrust your Sultan, but here's the kaiku raccoon of friendship,
an award of a lifetime.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I wish we had more.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 6 (38:01):
The person who gets the most medals is none other
than President Kevin bah. Basically every nation gives him one.
Speaker 18 (38:08):
The first person will give my prize to President Kevin
Ball for being considered the best politician of Microcon according
to the delegation offers.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
And then it's Zach's turn to present, and Zach does
it a little differently.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
We exclude no one. We award to everyone rocks from Zakistan.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
He puts out a box full of red velvet bags
stamped with a giant squid, each containing an actual rock
he brought back from Zakistan. The crowd flocks to the
stage at the Galla dinner, Everyone's dulled up in their
(38:53):
finest formal wear. I'm staying at a table with Zach
and a few others. They're about to announce the host
of the next microcn King George two point zero brings
up Eric List of the Erican Empire and Princess Chloe,
both of whose micronations are in Montreal.
Speaker 13 (39:12):
So I am very excited to say that's micro Cone
twenty twenty five, barring further global pandemics or anything like that,
will be held in Montreal, Canada.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
I turned to Zach, well, how do you feel about.
Speaker 12 (39:25):
Not getting it relieved?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I think we dash a bullet because I don't. I
don't really want to arrange a wedding right now, you know,
or like in two years.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
So that's it. Another micro con in the books.
Speaker 7 (39:43):
The most via the micro has.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Our time in Joliette was fun, but I was left
with this nagging feeling is that it is there more
that micronations could be doing in the real world. There
were people like the Princess of San Cratocia, whose nation
was created to advocate for trans rights. But I kept
thinking back to something Zach told me about the founding
(40:15):
of Zakistan during the George W. Bush era.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
The kernel of the whole Zakistan idea kind of stems from, like, Okay,
you know, I didn't vote for this guy. I don't
approve anything that like my government's doing. So is there
a way to create my own identity?
Speaker 5 (40:35):
Right?
Speaker 1 (40:36):
But I wonder could a startup nation become a real
one with real power In the United States? With the
fault lines in American democracy growing every day, it felt
like I should explore what it might be like to
really give it a go. And so I decided to
take Zach up on his offer head out to the
(40:58):
desert to see what nation build thing was really all about.
I wanted to become Zakistani.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Welcome to zachs sname, thank.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
You, very happy to be here. President Ba and Sultan
Randy agreed to come out there too.
Speaker 8 (41:13):
Holy hell, this is in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Along the journey, I met some crazy characters. I was
making rockets.
Speaker 16 (41:19):
There's a black powder and all this explosive waterheads and
still things like that.
Speaker 19 (41:25):
When you have the citizenship, at least for me, that's
what's the first country that I can stand for the
flag and say this is my flag.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
I was really upset.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Well, America is not good enough for him.
Speaker 6 (41:38):
We ought to find you and run you out of
the country for starting your own nation, and.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Things did not go according to plan.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
They're fifty five pounds of water five pounds of concrete.
Speaker 12 (41:47):
I've just been drinking water, no stopping.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
I'm still dehydrated.
Speaker 10 (41:51):
You know.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
My legs kind of get wobbly, and I like kind
of like lean over and just cukee and I like
look at Jeff, and Jeff flicks at BA.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
We're like, this is a Oh my god, what is.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That Bulla's bull?
Speaker 4 (42:04):
That was the first invasion of Zakistan?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Well, why can't I trackeline country? My full fathers do
that themselves. I think there's a turn off in between
here and there that we missed. Damn dude, this is complicated.
This is where government and the American dream kind of clash.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
I feel like I'm gonna put somebody off the cliff.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
If you want us to meet you out, what do
you want to do?
Speaker 7 (42:28):
Are you there?
Speaker 6 (42:35):
Escape from Zakistan is a production of iHeart Podcasts and
School of Humans. The show was written by Ryan Murdoch.
Zarah Burnett is our story editor and co host. Reporting,
hosting and editing by Gabby Watts and Ryan Murdoch. Editing
by Emily Meronoff, Music and sound design by Jesse Niswanger.
Show art by Lucy Kingtonia Executive producers are Jason English,
(42:57):
Brandon Barr, Elsie Crowley for Jenny Prescott and Ryan Murdock.
Thanks for listening.
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