112: My Blind Date

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
How you do when you look sweaty? Why are you sweaty?
So I worked out today right before the right before
we started recording, I jumped on. Like most people in
the world, I bought a Peloton bike. Well not most people,
people that can afford an expensive Peloton. Well, according to
the stock market, which is failing right now, Peloton is

(00:21):
the one product that is succeeding in these troubling times.
Well yeah, so so yeah, because no one can go
to the gym and it's like a subscription thing. So
a bunch of people, a bunch of people have bought
Peloton bikes and I am now riding with you know
those people. How long you go for? I did a
thirty minute class just now. But this dude kicked my ask.

(00:43):
You know, the last time I did it, I had
a you know, I tried to pick a you know,
we talked about this. I don't have to dance around
your words. You tried to pick a hot chick. Yeah,
I do have to dance around my words. I am,
I am. I'm sure your wife knows that you tried
to pick a hot shick. She does know, she well,
she picked it. I kind of tricked her into picking it,

(01:06):
and then we're like. She was like, she was like,
what do you want? Like, I don't know. I prefer
someone that looks a little bit like her, right, And
so I complained after the workout about how the person
talked too much and you know the stuff you do
when you want to deflect, and uh, my wife was like, well,

(01:26):
I'll pick someone for you this time. So she picked
this dude who was like a dude and was very
commanding and everything like that and demanding. Was that better
for you? Was it a better workout? It was a
better workout for me? But then I started thinking to myself, well,
maybe I'm playing this role wrong in my relationship with
my wife. She picked the dude that's like, now, get

(01:48):
on the bike, pedal faster, goddamnit. But maybe that's hard,
pedal harder, motherfucker. Maybe that's what you need. Maybe I
need to swim jump my style instead of being the
passive you know gentle, you know, sensitive guy, you know
the guy who loves uh puppy dogs and and moonbeams,

(02:10):
ready to be that motherfucker. Now you're saying, well, I
think that's probably good for you. I I gotta admit
I don't have a peloton bike. But if I got one,
I think I would probably pick the pretty attractive girl
to to yell at me. I'm never gonna pick the
pretty attractive girl again. I'm I'm sure there's probably a
pretty attractive girl who'll scream at you if you want.
But what you're saying is you got better results from
the dude who was like, pedal, motherfucker, pedal right now,

(02:34):
God damn it, you ain't pedaling hard enough right For me,
it's all about the music. If I if the music
is good. If I like the music, I I go
to a spin class and I will go so hard.
But I can't get into it when it's like when
it's music I don't like. I hate. I know, I
totally understand. I hate. I hate getting on a bike
and having to listen to listen to something that I'm

(02:56):
not in the mood to here. So did the angry
guy have good music? It was straight up hip hop?
It's perfect for you. You love that it was straight
up hip hop and it was good hip hop too.
D MX Little Wayne, old school little Wayne. See that's perfect. See.
I think I think that's the key. Obviously, you want
someone who's gonna push you and be like, come on,
you whimp. You got this. But I think I call
me a whim. You can call me a motherfucker, but

(03:18):
don't call me a whimp. You know what I mean.
You'd rather be called motherfucker than whimp? Yeah? Absolutely, well,
I gotta write that down. I am learning new things
about you on this from here on out, from here
on out, if you want to, if you want me
to respond in a way that it's positive. Hey, motherfucker,
what's up? Do you want to count us into the
theme song as that guy? All right, here we go.

(03:38):
God damn it, don't get ready for this six seven
eight fuckers. Here's some stories about shore we made about
a bunch of nurses and stories around here. Yeah, I'm

(04:08):
so sorry everyone. I think that Donald has lost his
damn quarantine. Mind tell him what else you bought for
your kids? You said you sent me a video. And
first of all, Donald's like, I'm running you know, he
doesn't have a pool at his house. He's like, I'm
running out of things for my kids to do. They're
going crazy. I got this, uh this water thing from
them in the backyard. I pictured a kiddie pool. You

(04:31):
bought like a fucking you bought like a fucking water park,
an inflatable water park. I bought an inflatable water park,
and we set it up, and I sincerely thought that
these kids, like most kids, were going to spend the
whole day in the water park. How fast are they
over it? They were over written forty five minutes. And
we spent so much money on this thing, dude, it

(04:51):
is like this morning was like I got ready for
the water park and they were like, I'm good. Describe
it to people. It's it's the size of like three cars. No,
it's about the size of a nice big gass pickup truck,
like a big and like a ford, you know, like
the big ship, you know, and it's huge. And also
our backyard isn't grass, it's fake grass. Problem is underneath that.

(05:19):
It's just hard. And so it says, you know, you
climb up this big gas ladder about ten feet up
and then you slide down the slide into the pool
at the bottom and they're sliding onto concrete. Now, granted,
we did worse than that when we were kids, but
to watch my wife panic and lose her ship, it
was a funny thing. On every time the kid climbed up.

(05:40):
Every time the kids slid down, she was like, I
gotta go inside. I'm I'm I'm gonna have a heart
attack out here. And so you have a slipping slide
when you're a kid, I mean, we used to slip
and slide on concrete though, you know what I meant
the city in the city. So I grew up in
a building that had a big gas playground in the middle,
like most buildings and Manhattan when you live in tall buildings,

(06:03):
and they had and and and and you know, if
somebody bought a slipping slide, we put it down on
the concrete on the paground, so dangerous. If you catch
it right, it's it's fine. But if you don't catch
it right, yeah, you gotta hit your head on the
I don't remember a slipping slide ever being fun, Like
there was so much fun in setting it up and
then you'd go down at once and you'd be like, oh, well,

(06:24):
that depends on it, right. If you don't know how
to slide, it hurts like it hurts. I wonder if
they still sell slipping sides, because there's so there's gonna
be like lawsuits. They've even padded them now, so a
slipping slide is now padded so that we're running, jump
and dive. You can. You got a little bit of
a bound these kids today, Donald, they need to slipping slides.
When I was a kid ourselves, I remember setting it

(06:46):
up on the lawn and my stepfather had just spent
a fortune. You re sadding the lawn. And he came
home and he was like, what the did you do?
And I was like, we're slipping slided and he's like,
the law all trash the money he had just a fortune,
reshot it like it would look like beautiful dream law.
You know how like you know some people are about

(07:08):
their similar similar to how you were when my wedding
was over. Yeah, you trashed my one law. But you
know what, it was all in the name of love.
I'll do anything for you. You and your you and
your family can trash my lawn. And any day you
put down a dance floor, yea, not on the lawn, no, no,
but on on an area. It was a botchy court,
but now it's a garden. But you put down a

(07:29):
full I mean I was. I was shocked with the
effort that went into that. It looked beautiful, and I
was for a minute. I was like, we should keep it,
and then people were like, well, it's not really meant
to be permanent. It's like not like you know what,
have a greenhouse without any grains in it? Pretty much? No,
I mean anyan. The tend they tended it because there
was where there was going to rain. But like that,
they had put down this beautiful flooring for your wedding

(07:51):
and I was like, oh my god, maybe I should
keep that. And then as someone told me like, no,
it's it's meant it's not weather proof. It's meant to
be like you know, last a weekend. So h so
we we took it down. But god, your wedding was
really beautiful. I gotta say, well, dude, thank you very
much for for helping us out there. Man, you the
cost of the wedding dropped dramatically when you said you
could do it in my backyard. Well, I was so

(08:13):
happy to be able to do that for you. And
it was a beautiful ceremony and I'll never forget it.
It was the way you guys did, the designer of it,
the whoever did all the decor and everything. It was
like almost like a farm like a farm vibes, you know,
like farm tables. It was. We tried to make it
country meats soul. Yeah, country meat. So I remember there
was a gospel There was a lot of music. There
was a gospel choir. What did they saying. They sang

(08:35):
a song from Esame Street? Know, they sang a song
from the Muppets. Everything is great, Everything is grand. I
got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand.
Everything is perfect. It's falling into place. I can't seem
the wipe this smile off my face. Life's a happy

(08:56):
song when there's someone by my side to sing along.
That's so beautiful. How did you guys picked that? I mean,
I never heard anyone I picked. I picked that song.
So the new Muppet movie had come out. I guess
it had been out, I guess. But the music from
that movie obviously is amazing. It won an Oscar. But
that song is the I believe it's the first song

(09:20):
of the movie, and so it's the number one number
and Muppet songs are always dope. The Rainbow Connection, you know,
I mean, I've never heard that song. And just just
so people can picture it, I had told all my
neighbors like, we're gonna have a big gas wedding, and uh,
I sent them like little gift baskets, and I sent

(09:41):
them a letter saying, hey, it's gonna be loud. We'll
be done by midnight. You know, I hope everybody's cool,
but I was anxious because you know, my neighborhood is
is the sound bounces around, so everyone was. Everyone was
coming to this wedding, whether they wanted to or not.
And and so it's all set up and it's all
quiet and of this, and then the gospel choir comes

(10:02):
and it's time for that moment and they turned just
me walking out for that, right, so they turned but
they but they turned on the mics. And I had
never in my mind imagine it was gonna be this loud.
And granted it was beautiful and amazing, but as the
neurotic homeowner, I was like, oh, ship, these people are
gonna be so pissed. But maybe they weren't, because it's amazing.

(10:23):
We weren't. I guess they were. They acquire was like
six people. I don't know if it's six people, but
they were. But anyway, this this amazing gospel group sang
that song and it just it just reverberate. It was beautiful.
It bounced everywhere all over the whole neighborhood. And I
was like, this is I was. I just it was
magical and I got tears in my eyes. I got

(10:43):
to ask my wife what the name of the band was,
the name of the group was. But also they when
she came down the owl, I can't sing this song
for anything because Beyonce sings it, But you can sing
better than Bey. Oh my god. You should have seen
Joel's face. Everybody Joel made a face like how dare you, sir?

(11:04):
Gotta be out your mind. Joel's face was like I
will not Joel's Joel's face was like I will not
be a part of this podcast. Yeah, it's funny. It's
just like the character Joe when Eddie Murphy makes fun
of Stevie one day and the dude comes to Eddie Stevie.

(11:26):
Step one is a musical changes Scott n You can't
joke about Beyonce. You cannot. You can't even say jokingly.
Donald face on things better than people like Joel like
lose their breath. That's about we lost about listeners just
now alone. Yeah, people were like, I love the podcast,
but it seems Donald Face on six better Beyonce Funck y'all,

(11:49):
she's a queen and fun Donald is she or Queen Joel?
She is? Listen. She is the hottest checkout right now.
Just released a new one, Megan the Stallion. I believe
that the track was dope before Beyonce elevated it, just
like that Ed Sharon record got elevated after Beyonce got

(12:12):
on it. Dude, Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. Beyonce. Beyonce
be lacing people. Man, I'm telling you right now, there
are people that I have songs and the song will
be really good, and then she sings a verse on it,
and all of a sudden, the song is a top
five on the Billboard charts. Man, like that Ed Sharon
song was dope, and it was. It was already on
the Billboard charts for a long time, and then she

(12:33):
sang on it and it's and and it broke even
more records thanks to her. Man. I met her once,
you know, so did I, and you were like good.
I met her once, well, I met her several times together. Yeah,
we were and you were like, that's Beyonce. I was like,
that's not Beyonce would be what are you talking about it?
At that restaurant bar no name in Hollywood, No, no,
no Beyonce. Way before that, we went out one night

(12:54):
to apport please respect my father and call her Beyonce.
I don't, yes, Beyonce. We went out. We went something else.
We went out to h Ferrari party or something like that.
You me raiding and Carrie Brothers, and Beyonce was there
with somebody. This is well before HOVA, well before all
of that. This is early on in scrub. Yeah. And uh,

(13:19):
I remember you guys being like, go say hi to her,
and I was like, get the funk out of here.
That's Beyonce, dude. And this is before she even had
the solo record or anything like that. She was still
with Destinies Child, and I was still like, Joe, I can't.
I'm you know what if I say hi? And she
said to get the funk out of here. And so
finally she looked at me. Maybe she was single, dude.

(13:40):
Finally she looked at me and she goes hi and
gives me to look like motherfucker, say hi, dude, oh ship,
We're the only black people at this party. That was
the look the look was really only black people. What
are you doing? And I was like, oh, sh my bad, Hey,
how you doing? I don't for that, that's funny long

(14:03):
So you just said hi, and I just said hi,
and I walked and we walked away. Listen, man, I
played myself to so many of these lovely ladies in
Hollywood that I decided I will never do that again.
Like I played myself ever you saw hard, I went
after Casey. I've I've I've done things that are so
stupid that I was like, what was I thinking When
I look back at it? Now you know what I mean?

(14:25):
You mean like you should have taken your shot. No,
like I shouldn't have taken a shot at all, because
I sounded like an idiot. I did take my shot.
We all have those flinch moments where you're like, oh,
that was right. But I was in a restaurant bar
called No Name that since closed um run by my
friend Brian ling Um on Fairfax In in Hollywood, and

(14:46):
it was like a cool restaurant bar, and upstairs, on
like a mezzanine, there was a private area where you
could have a private dinner party or you could have
a small cocktail party. And if you went past that room,
there was a another room. So we were headed to
that room, he and I and somebody else and I
cam up the stairs and I come around the corner
and they're just seated alone at this private table was

(15:10):
Beyonce and jay Z. And they looked up and they
stared at me, and I stared back at them, and
they had big smiles in their faces, like saying hi.
But I was like, I was in pull shocked. I
really was. I froze. And that's that's royalty, man. They
got that. They got that glow man, they got that
Bruce Leroy. But it was also like you come, you
come around a bend and you're not expecting to see
like there's no one else in the room. I mean,

(15:30):
it was just Beyonce and jay Z having private dinner.
And I was like, and I just walked in like
of course, I said, oh, I SA, I'm so sorry
interrupt high got high and they were like, hey, how
are you? And I said, I'm good, um uh, you
guys are awesome. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep moving.
You know. They were very sweet. They obviously smiled and
laughed at me because I was like a nervous wreck

(15:52):
played my stuff so many times. With jay Z, it's ridiculous,
Like he come on in. Like there's certain people on
my list of people that I think carb you know
the shiz, and he's one of them. Him, Michael Jordan's
you know, Denzel Washington, Harrison Ford, you know, Billy Billy
d Williams. When it comes to athletes, I have a
lot of athletes on my list, but no, I don't

(16:14):
have a lot of rappers on my list where I
see them and I'm like, holy shit. I used to
be like that, but then I grew out of that phase.
If there was one athlete you could meet and not
just me. If this one athlete, that would be like Donald,
let's go get a drink. I want to get to
know you better. What would it be, Oh Man, Well
he's no longer with us. But that's Kobe Bryant. That's
an easy one. I met Michael Jordan once and that
was cool, and I met Kobe several times. But there

(16:36):
was something special about Kobe Bryant that was like, you know,
I mean, and Michael Jordan too. Uh. But you know,
when I first moved out to l A Kobe Bryant
was just getting you know, he just arrived and uh
I got to meet him way before he played basketball
and stuff, and before he played basketball. So l A

(16:59):
is a small town. We act like it's a huge
Hollywood is huge and stuff like that. But you run
into people in l A. And one of my friends
was not dating Shaya Brian, but was hanging out with
Shaya Brian. And so Shaya would come over to my
apartment like all the time, and we would you know,
hang out and you know, go to the movies or

(17:19):
go to Magic Mountain stuff like that. And one day
she comes over. We're going to Magic Mountain and she
comes over and she's like, Yo, my brother's outside. He
wants to talk to you. And I was like, oh, Ship,
why did your brother want to talk to me? But
he wasn't famous yet, No everybody knewho Kobe Bryant was.
At this point, he had taken Brandy to the prom,
you know what I mean. And uh, I'm like, oh man,

(17:41):
oh wow, okay. So I go outside and he had
broken his arm playing basketball at the beach at Venice Beach,
at the courts on Venice Beach, right, So he had
the cast on. Remember when he broke his arm. I
remember thinking, come on, man, you've got this contract coming up.
What are you doing playing basketball at Venice Beach? That

(18:01):
was what my thought was. When I saw him with
the cast I was like, oh, shoot he got the
cast on. Yo, Like it was because you heard about it? Yeah,
I heard about it. But I was like, yo, he
got like the cat. Did you think he was gonna
let you sign it? No? No, no, but but I did.
But I definitely thought. I was like, this dude's about

(18:21):
to tell me, you know, I better respect his sister
and all of that stuff. And there was nothing going
on with me and his sister. So I go outside
and he's like, hey, man, how are you doing. I
just wanted to meet you. You know you're going to
Magic Mond with my sister. I just wanted to meet
you to make sure you know, was looking for our
for a sister, right, That's story. Yeah, But I ran

(18:43):
it to him several times after that. But I just
when I first moved to l A, Kobe Bryant was
in l A. Also. That's so tragic. I keep it's like,
it's unbelievable. I just want you all to know, man.
I loved Kobe Bryant like I loved Kobe Bryant. I
named my kid Kobe. I know, I know, and just
you know, God, I see the lovel There's all these

(19:04):
amazing murals all over town. I'm sure you've seen him.
He was one of the most beloved people in the country,
probably the world world. Should we we switched tones again
of the episode, let's do it? We you know this
is an episode with It was directed by Mark Bucklin,
written by Mark Stegman. Yeah, two marks to Marks uh

(19:25):
my blind date. Yes. Mark Stegman is great writer, great friends.
I believe he went to write on Community after US
and um some other shows and Mark Bucklin. I really
think Mark Buckland, I'm gonna say it now in nine
years one of by far one of our top directors.

(19:46):
Well that's easy. This episode is is not to not
to say as a director, but as a director, this
episode is incredibly directed, well well well directed that it
really makes I know we're gonna get to it. But
because it it's a really cool wonner. For those of
you who don't know what a one or is, it's
when the camera never cuts so there's no edit. It's
a long one shot that moves around, involves lots of choreography,

(20:09):
and it often takes a lot of times to get
it right. Um and uh, it's just done really well.
But this episode is amazing. I really want to say.
You know, the thing about TV directing is these guys
and gals who do this. You come in, you you
have to execute your vision, but in the tone of
the style that's been established by the showrunner and by

(20:33):
whoever directed the pilot. In this case, Adam Burnstein, the
showrunner and the pilot director sort of set this is
the look of this show. It has this vibe. The
camera can move like this, this is this is the
sort of tools you can use, and that now you
go do it. So for a director to stand out,
it's it's tricky. You got how how you can put
your own stamp on it, because otherwise it's just kind

(20:53):
of like, Okay, I'm here to execute someone else's someone
else's vision. But but someone like Mark Buckland with his
level of talent, really does stand out you. I was
watching this before I even knew that it was Mark.
I was watching going, Oh, someone good directed this. I
can tell already. There's just a he finds a way
to put his own stamp on it, and I I
looked it up because I haven't seen market years. Also

(21:14):
a really good card magician, if you remember that. Donald
also very great ping pong player. Yeah, I remember that.
But during the downtime he would do these insane card tricks.
He was one of those guys. Um he's on. He's
doing a show called He produces and directs a show
called Stumptown Show. Do you watch it? It's on the
ABC lineup with the new ABC lineup? Koby Koby smolders, Yeah, yeah,

(21:36):
as you know, I do a television show for ABC
called Emergence. Emergence, Yes, And when are we finding out
if we're getting a season two? We have no idea.
I don't even know if Stumptown knows if they're getting
a season two yet or uh or and if they do,
then probably we didn't get it. But all I know
when when when does ABC tell you that I have

(21:57):
telling you things are different right now? Man, life is
friend right now. Nothing is the same. I'm supposed to
find out we were supposed to find like up Fronts
is the fourteenth or something like that. We should be
finding out soon, But I don't know will you be
doling out drunken noogies at this year's upfront. I've learned
my lesson. I did, I know, you know what last year,
I did crash the NBC Upfront. I did crash that

(22:18):
and that was a lot of fun, uh to to
do anyway, um, Mark Buckland. Also just to finish my
Mark Buckland research one and any for directing the pilot
of My Name is earl oh nice. Yeah. So he's
a very talented fellow, very very very and I just
wanted to say that that, uh that I really notice
how how good he is. So this episode has a

(22:39):
lot of good stuff in it. Man, this is a
good one. M this was a great one. I laughed aloud.
I laughed out loud that none none harder than Kelso.
When Kelso go she goes dr Kelso, I'm not going
to sue the hospital, and he goes oh and then
just walked up he leaves. Elizabeth Bogush was a guest star.

(22:59):
Didn't arc really talented m gal and she this was
JD's first first Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say that,
and I was just going through the rest of season one.
I think she's the only I could be wrong. So
sorry if you know better than I do. But she's
the only love interest before Sarah and I start a relationship. Really, really, Joel,

(23:20):
isn't that what happens? Uh? I'm not aware. I haven't
gone forward what Joel might know or she can look
it up. But I think what happens is there's three
episodes with Liz Bogish and then uh, and then Elliott
and I start our our our our thing. I think
that's what. Okay, good, see, I was right Donald. I
did my research. I did a lot of research for
this episode. I want the fans to know I did.

(23:43):
I got trivia. Do you want to know the trivia?
Right to start off? The right off? The bat is
a good one? Go for yours? So so, so Cox
is trying to get his his perfect game. All right,
I gotta ask you a question before you do the trivia? Then,
did you know what the perfect game was before we
started doing before or the show? I know what a
perfect picture game is? Yeah, I know it's happened my brothers.

(24:04):
My brother is a baseball fanatic. My father was a
baseball fanatic. So I know some things. And you don't
talk to the picture. Well, now that I didn't know,
and I wanted to talk to you about that, because,
first of all, how the fund does j D know that?
I mean, j D doesn't know anything about sports. We
hammer a home in every episode, and all of a sudden,
j D's whispering like you know stuff about never you
know that you'll talk to the picture during a game,

(24:24):
So tell me about this real quick. This is the thing.
If the picture is doing really well in a game,
you don't talk to him like in the in the
in the dug them. Yeah, you don't. You leave him alone.
You don't say anything to him and let him. You
don't even give him a butt tap. No, you don't say. Look,
you don't want to be the reason that his rhythm
all of a sudden falls off. But what if I'm
throwing a perfect game and I'm like holy in my head,

(24:45):
I'm like I'm killing this, and then I go into
the dugout and I get no butt taps and I'm like, oh,
why are they tapping my butt? And then I started
and then I started spiraling no butt taps. I'm gonna
suck it up now and then, and it'd be your
fault that you funked it up, not their fault because
so they ignore tap you on the button, you'll and
then you don't have a perfect game. You could be like, well,

(25:07):
then why do you tap me on? I see so so,
so that's the thing. You just ice him. You don't
talk to him. You let that person do what they
gotta do to get that. To see that, I didn't
know that. I didn't know, And I find it hilarious
that j D didn't know, because why did Even Joel
wrote that down in her notes. She was like, how
the hell does j D know all this stuff about?

(25:28):
All right, here's a little trivia for you. Ready, Okay,
let's do it. There's twenty seven patients that in the
I c U that Dr Cox is trying to keep
alive through midnight. Do you know why I don't? There's
twenty seven outs in nine innings, Holy ship, Mark Gentleman,

(25:50):
slow clap, slow clap, clap for zach Brath. Why I didn't?
It's not my trivia. I got enough scrubs WICKI but um,
but I don't know if I don't know if Mark
Stegman gets that. But way to coach D, Way to
go Zack. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't figure that out.

(26:12):
I read that, so don't be too proud of me.
I don't even know if that's what we give Mark
Stegman credit for that. Let's ask Bill. That's a good
Bill question. Bill, you're not gonna remember and he's Bill
is gonna be like it was me? That was me? No,
but Bill, it's very clever that there's twenty seven patients
and there's twenty seven ounce in nine innings. Who came
up with that seven ounce in a ball game to
saving twenty seven patients came around around because the episode

(26:34):
started with Dr Cox wanting to have a perfect game,
you know, and a perfect game in baseball zact, which
is a sport, is uh, not only does no one
get a hit, but um, nobody even gets a walk
or gets on base with an air So it's not
just a no hit or it's a perfect game. You
only face twenty seven batters. Uh, that's it all right?

(26:55):
So Death's back, played by the wonderful Randall Winston. Yeah,
Death is back by Randall Winston. Now I don't mean
to take a dig at Randall, but listen, man, I
love to death, but with all my heart, now, don't
I don't think if Randall was auditioning, he would have
gotten this role because death isn't you guys, if I

(27:18):
love Randall to death, but if if SAG actors audition
for this part, we probably could have gotten a better performance.
Oh that's horrible that you say that, dude. No, I'm sorry.
But for those of you who don't know, Randall Winston
is uh the line producer on scrub was the line
producer at the time on Scrubs. He's since gone on

(27:38):
to be an executive producer. Or he's killing it. He
directs now, he's he's very he's a very very established
uh producer slash director in on television right now. Also,
he married my wife and I in Zack's backyard. He
was the I forgot you were married by death, married

(28:01):
by death in your backyard. Randall Winston is one of
my all time favorite people. So don't do death. It's
like it's like Joel and Beyonce. Don't do death, and
I'm bad you made a face like Joel made. Listen,
I just want to say I love the guy to death.
He's an extremely talented producer. Um. I don't know that

(28:22):
acting is necessarily his forte, but but listen, uh, Death
talks to his daughter. I don't know that any in
any art form I've ever seen Death's daughter, but alike,
she's in a girl scout outfit trying to sell her
her cookies. Right, well, that's why Death's occupied. He's selling cookies.

(28:43):
It's pretty easy to try to help Dr Cox out.
He's Death says something like she's in second place, and
if the first place girl keeps winning, we're just gonna
take her in the I c U. Where there's a
lot of the scene takes place. There's a lot of
amazing camera work at one sixteen. There's a cool three

(29:04):
sixty pan um. It's always challenging for the cinematographer and
fil filmmakers to light when there's no place to put
the lights, and when the camera is steadicamming. For those
who don't know what that is, it's I think we've
mentioned it before. It's it's this rig that mounts on
a steadicam operator's body and it allows him or her
to move around and it gives them and they can

(29:25):
run and do all these cool shots, and the camera
always looks like it's floating. A lot of scrubs was
shot on a steadicam because of all the quick walking
and running around and sorry to digress, our steadicam operator
has a cameo in this episode. Did you recognize Charles
Papperd dumb? Where was Pepper Oh? Yeah, he was the
guy on the m R. He's the m R I

(29:46):
tag when the m R I goes awry and you
see a guy freaking it. By the way, speaking of
people who aren't actur is giving a decent performance. I
thought Charles did a wonderful job. Yeah, you know Charles Papperd.
Every time I'm run into Charles pepperd. Yes, every time
I run into him, he's like. He'll introduce me to
the people on his in his camera crew, and he'll

(30:07):
be like, tell him the song, and I'll be like, what, like,
sing him the song? They I've told everybody about the song.
I was like, are you looking serious right now? He's
like singing the song it's the Transformer's melody, But I
don't remember the words. You remember the words, Charles Pappard
shafts and no shaft Yeah. I love that he's the show.

(30:36):
I love that he's begging you to sing a song
to his friends about how he's all balls and no shofts,
all balls, no shaft. He begs me to sing. It's
like he says to them, So Donald Fazan's coming in
the day. He has a special song about me. I
I want to say that what's funny about that song
is that it's the Transformer's melody, but and sung very
softly like a ballad. But it's it's but it's all

(30:59):
balls and no show anyway. Charles papperd it was our
study cam operator and he uh plays the m R
I Tech and I thought he did a wonderful job.
He does an amazing job in the episode. It was amazing.
He's an amazing steady cam and normal cam operator. I've

(31:21):
worked with him several times since then, and maybe he's
had some you know, a surgery to adjust his lack
of job, just his situation. He uh he even get
like a shaft extender. Is that a thing? I once
asked Real j D about that. I was like, yo,
so what is this about? This penis enlarging stuff? You
don't need that. Why the hell are you asking about that? Listen, man,

(31:45):
everybody wants to be Do you remember in the in
the episode of Bahamas. Do you remember in the episode
Bahamas when I when I thought I saw an eel, yeah,
and it was my It was me on that note,
We're gonna go to break while you guys think about
Donald's eel speak and we're back speaking of your eel.

(32:08):
My girlfriend's mom h was face timing me about this
about our podcast because she listens, and she was like,
I really like it, but you guys talk about your
willie's too much. And I as we began to talk
about your eel, I was I was hearing my girlfriend's
mom talking telling us that we talk about our willies
too much. So sorry to the people of the United Kingdom.

(32:31):
I don't like to talk about who I don't like
talking about my will Colonel doctor at to forty nine.
I just got excited to see him. Uh Snoop Dogg.
In turn, A lot of the greats are in this episode. Yes,
Len's in the episode. A lot of people. Um yeah.
Lynn Dete once again worked a lot. Yeah. What they

(32:55):
would do. What they would do is sometimes when they
needed more background performers than they had, they would ask
the standings to to put on a costume and and
join the scene. I think that's what happens. Well, yeah,
not just that. Also, the Standings are you know, they're
all good actors on their own, you know what I mean.
You give Deonte a line, he he'll deliberate. Well, not everyone,
but Deante was someone who was a good actor, right,

(33:17):
and so but my point is is that, um, I
think usually the Standings weren't dressed in costume. So often
when you see them, my brain goes, oh, they wanted
a couple more bodies, so they asked them to suit up, right.
But they're always prominently featured if you noticed, of course,
because they're not. They're not. Dante is not sucking around.
He knows where the cameras, you know what he's doing.

(33:38):
He knows what he's doing first rodeo. He knows what
that camera's gonna be. He's like, he's like, if I'm
gonna put on these scrubs, you're gonna see me right right,
all right? So at four oh two there's this long
monologue with Johnny c. By the way, Johnny sees incredible
in this episode. I've learned that I you know, I
didn't appreciate it when it was there, you know what

(33:59):
I mean? There were so many lessons to be learned
just from watching Johnny just from watching Judy, just from
watching Kim, and you know, you want to get the
funk out of there at a certain point in time,
you know what I mean. And I look back at
this stuff now and Johnny crushes the sound. He's you know,
I I agree with you Donald watching even just watching
however many we've watched twelve at this point, I'm I'm

(34:19):
really taken by what a good actor Johnny McGinley is.
He's just he's fantastic, and this episode really highlights so
good he's and Sarah is wonderful in this episode. Do
you find it's weird? I always find it weird in
a TV show and they referenced another TV show. So
here here we reference. I referenced e Er for of

(34:41):
all things, another hospital TV show. I think we were
trying to be funny. Uh No, I know, but I
just think it's I always think it's weird when you
when j D Me playing a a fake doctor on
television then references another doctor show. I just think I
just pulls me out of the show. It's I find
it weird. But the problem is is that an e

(35:02):
Er Anthony Edwards was still kind of he still kind
of looked like the character he played in Top Gun,
you know what I mean? No, he didn't. He was
more bookish and academic kind of sort of. But he's
still good. On Anthony Edwards Anywards Revenge of the Nerds
that you're like, holy shit, that's the dude from Revenge

(35:23):
of the Nerds, Anthony top words. Anthony Edwards has had
such a career. Can we just talk about him for
a second? It that is? That is the right name, right,
Anthony Edwards? Absolutely? What's the name of the black guy
named Anthony Edwards? And you're thinking of Anthony Anderson? You Moore?
I sorry, sorry, sorry, they're very similar Anthony Edward. By

(35:45):
the way, I love that you knew what I was
talking about. That's how close we are, baby. Um. Anthony
Edwards has spanned Revenge in the Nerds to Top Gun
and then back to the E R and and and
other things. I'm sure, but those are things I I
moast think of him for. Yeah, he's got ranged. Now
are we not allowed to like Revenge of the Nerds anymore?
I know that it has a very problematic movie, but man,

(36:07):
as a child, that was life changing for me. In
that movie, I went with a babysitter to see that
movie in the theater, and and it was I think
I was four. I was probably did your babysitter get
kicked out? Listen, I think it was I was nine.
I think. I can't believe I got to go see
this movie with a babysitter was four, Joel, can you

(36:27):
look that up please. I remember went to see and
I had a crush on her, a nine year old crush.
And then I see this movie that's obviously are and
I can't believe I was seeing this and then I
at the end, I was so riled up. I was
so turned on, if you will, by the movie, and
I thought, I, yes, thanks, she says nineteen four. I

(36:49):
in my mind, I thought like, oh, I'm gonna try
and impress my date. I just started thinking of her
like she was my date. And we went into like
a CVS type, you know, pharmacy giant, you know, one
of those big ones, and I forgot someone and my
sister probably wanted to buy something, and I was like
in an aisle and I was like, what can I

(37:09):
what can I act like I want to buy that's
going to seem impressive to my baby. And we were
in like I was like, I went in like the
hardware aisle because that felt masculine and uh and uh.
I saw this this battery, remember, one of those big
chunky batter not a car better, but like for like
a lantern. It was like this bit like you know,
like like you know this a lantern battery basically. And

(37:32):
I remember looking at it and I saw my periphery.
She was coming down the aisle and she's like, what
are you doing in this aisle? And I was like,
see this and I pointed to the battery, and she goes, yeah,
I go, this is what I want for my birthday.
Because in my mind I thought she would be like,

(37:53):
whoa this this kid is deserves to see. This kid
is sucking manly. I know he's nine, but if he's
in the battery, he's like this big I really thought.

(38:16):
I really I remember this many years later. I remember thinking, like,
just act like you want this fucking battery. But that's
that's the nerds did to me. All right, let's move
on the French fight, fright. Talk about this chard. Because
you're married, you probably have this fight with your wife.
I believe in this fight, and I believe in Turk

(38:37):
side of this fight too, and you know at the
end of the show it goes someplace different. But absolutely,
If I if we go to get burgers at McDonald's
and I get a combo meal and I ask you
what you want and you say, I'll just have a burger.
You're not eating my fries. God damn it, those are
my fries. Does this happen all the time? It sounds

(38:58):
like you got riled up just now. This Does this
happen in your home? I got riled up because of
this dude that was teaching me how to rid the
bike today. Yeah, if you take, you're taken. You've taken
on his persona. You are, you are as an actor,
you were like a sponge, and you've taken on his persona.
I am. I am. I am the bike riding instructor

(39:20):
from this. Do you remember do you remember his name? No?
I don't remember his name. God damn it. I'm just
him right now. Okay, calm down, calm down. He's probably
smoothie on a on a couch right now, and you're
drinking orange Google. He's probably probably with other dudes anyway.
But no, this is sincere, and this happens all the time,

(39:41):
and I used to hate this when but then this
is also when I knew, Holy cow, I love my wife.
We would go and get food from someplace like Astro
Burger or McDonald's or something like something quick and fast
and greasy and everything after a night out of partying
in the club and be like, do you want anything?
And she'll be like, no, I'm not really that hungry.

(40:04):
In my mind, I knew exactly what that meant. That
meant she's gonna eat my ship right, See, would you
order extra for no? Well, at first you don't realize that,
and then when it when it gets to where Turk
and Carla are, it's when you start testing it and
you're like, I'm gonna test and see if when I
say do you want anything and she says no, I'm good,

(40:25):
I bet you she's gonna grab my fries. Watch that's
what's gonna it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. And when
it happened, you're like I knew it, and you and
you and you explode. And that's what happened with Turk.
Turk was online with Carla at the cafeteria and he's
getting all of his food and she's looking at him,
and in his mind he's like, she's gonna want this stuff.

(40:45):
She's gonna want it. It does feel like an example
of not sweating the small stuff, though, doesn't it. But
that's not the small stuff. Come on, man, that's not no,
that's not the small stuff. Harley Pasternak, who we both know,
very fancy celebrity trainer, he told me that I think
it was him who told me that French fries is
the worst thing you can put in your body. He

(41:06):
once told me pizza was the worst thing you could
put in your body. So I don't know. I think
that was him just trying to get you to stop
eating French fries. And he also told me that something
I'll never forget that he calls a banana a sugar stick.
He's like, you might as well have a candy bar.
Banana is just sugar. Really, yeah, I love banana. Celebrity

(41:28):
trainer Harley Passionneck ruined bananas for me. I stileep bananas.
I liked them in my smoothie, but but he told
me that they have even though it's natural sugar, it's
filled with sugar. But he also said French fries are
the worst thing you can put in your body because
he's just saturated fat. Yeah, but he also told me
pizza was the worst thing you could put in your body.
He got you in good shape once. And you played
basketball with Easy? Right? I have played basketball with knyeasy? Yeah.

(41:50):
Was it at Harley's house? I gave yeasy and common
to business? They know what's up. Don't act like y'all
don't know. Yeah, I'm sure he's he's listening. Listen, did
you play? Did you play anything? Right? He's somewhere in Wyoming.
Do you Did you play at Harley's house? Did you
play at Harley's house? I know we would go and
play at like a gym. We would go to a gym.

(42:13):
He would run out of gym and me him. Use,
that's the only time I haven't when I was working
out with Harley. That's the only time I ever met Kanye.
It was before he became, you know, enormous. He was
still a huge Kanye has been Kanye. No. I know,
but I didn't. He wasn't a household name at this time. Yeah,
he was making that music since back in it and
I used to get on the treadmill next to Rick Fox,

(42:33):
uh donald, who's played basketball with Rick Fox before? To really, yeah,
I played basketball with a lot of people. I know
you're fancy, all right, listen, Um, A drunk clown hurt
me once? Laughed out, laughed out loud, laughed out loud.
I don't know if I made that up or not.
I would like to take credit for it. Okay, let's
ask Bill. Bill is not gonna remember, and if so,
he's definitely not gonna give me credit. But Joel, Joel,

(42:55):
please ask him who made up a drunk clown hurmer once?
And make sure to put in parentheses. Zach Belie eaves
it might be his. He's going to come back with
the sassiest answer. And here it is. A drunk clown
hurt Me once? Was Zach Braffe improv He came up
with that, and I remember watching it happen and I
remember taking credit for it afterwards. Thank you Bill. Well,

(43:16):
we even heard Bill's answer. But I'm just gonna say
thank you Bill. I agree, No, I don't. I don't
know that you're gonna agree with I might not agree.
I might not agree. Drunk clun hurt me once is
very funny, I gotta say. I laughed out loud about that,
because God knows what that stewary is and how you
found out the clown was drunk. I love I love

(43:37):
these j D things that never get explored, like these
long you know, there's times like there's this random sentences
that you know, we we could have gone into a fantasy,
but but we never do. I love those rare moments
like yeah, like I got treated by a Kaya. That
is probably my favorite episode and you know why because
you directed it. It's the first one I directed. But

(43:58):
also not just say because I directed it. That is
a fucking epic great episode. That's a great episode. You
know what season that is? Oh my god, I never
shows up. I know what, I know what it happens.
I got dooel will you please look up for me
what episode that is. It's the first one I directed.
I don't even have no idea what it's called. Heather
Graham's in it, but Donald I got treated by Kaya? Yeah,

(44:20):
that one. And then I'm starting to see why, uh
what did he say his name was? I'm starting to
see why Leon out foxed you. I don't remember that.
Jason Bateman. I like to make I like to make
belts out of that, and Jason Bateman says, I'd like
to make belts out of their necks. I mean, how
stoned were they must have been in the writer's room

(44:40):
when they came up with an idea that the Ostridges
are are our sentries? Yeah, right there. So in Jason
Bateman's characters home, he has Ostridges, but they not only
work as guards, but they stole your cano and put
it on. Right. That's leon very funny episode. Alright, we're

(45:05):
back to this one. Michael McDonald is back. Michael McDonald's
back right away. He was just on we should have
him one and he's paying the same guy. I think, Joel,
you may have thought he was playing multiple characters. He's
always definitely the guy. He plays a hypochondriac who's always
I believe, unless the family's wrong, he pleas different characters

(45:26):
in a later season. Okay, well, we don't know. Maybe
the fans will tell us on the social media's, but
I believe that he's always playing a hypochondract The episode,
thank you Joel for finding this that we donald and
I were talking about, was is season four episode eight,
my lest Chance. Um. It's probably my favorite episode of
the whole one of one of my top three of

(45:47):
the whole run. Granted it was my first time directing
and that was special. But also Bill, because he's so
fucking competitive, decided to write an episode that should have
been shot in like ten days, and because it was epic,
we called it Scrubs the movie. If you recall, it's
the one where Donald and I have a permission slip
from Elliott that allows j D to sleep with Heather

(46:08):
Graham's character and we go on an epic night long
quest to find Molly to give her the permission slip.
I have a question for you when you were making
this episode, did you realize when you were making it
how big of an episode it was for you to
have to execute. Yes, I knew. I knew it Bill.
Bill's a big brother to us both, and it's always

(46:30):
been competitive with me, like we don't play sports. So
the competition came in like in other ways, So it
came in like, okay, so that it was after Garden
State and he's like, Garden State was a success, and
he's like, okay, you can direct. Here's the script. And
it was like the most epic, impossible thing, you know,
we shot an episode of Scrubs traditionally in five days,
and you had to write them so they were they

(46:51):
were execute able in five days. And uh, and this
was you remember Donald, We were like, we were on
the Universal back lot. There was an ambulance chase with
it with accident. It was huge, and I just remember
being like, oh my god, he's totally testing if I
can pull this off. And I did, and I did.
I think it's I mean, we were zip lining across
the Universal backlock. Let's say Itsode. I know. Sorry, you

(47:12):
got me talking about because I really love that episode.
So now we're at this awesome No, you're going too fast.
I want to talk about Sammy, the legendary Sammy Lloyd
has some good stuff in this episode. Okay, At five
oh nine, Sammy Lloyd comes in and uh, I remember
now because he's covered with sweat right right before, right
before takes, they would sweat Sam up so he would cold,

(47:33):
totally look like he was always on the verge of
a panic attack. And and and and Kelsa goes to him,
tell him Todd. He goes, it's ted, but it's even
it's only even twelve years. And then at seven he
laughed when he goes and then if this, If that happens,
the higher ups heads are gonna roll and he starts laughing.

(47:55):
Very funny. Um yeah, Sam has some funny ship later
later on in the m R I Room, Um, run
away with me, he goes run away with it. And
then before that, when I wrote down something, it was
so funny, he says, since my wife left me, I
find it hard to see past the evil, right, something

(48:16):
about like I can't date women since my wife left me.
I find it hard to see past the evil. Now
he finds love again. He finds love on the show
later too, Right yeah with um Massucchi. Right with with
the Gooch. Yeah the Gooch played by Kate mccuchie, who's
a very talented gal and plays the and sings really
well and plays the ukulele very well. Yes, um so

(48:38):
Donald Liz bogush I, I she did a great job.
Of course that's her voice. Imagine getting a part good thing.
She knew she had two more episodes coming up, because
imagine getting a part of me, like, hey, we're never
going to see your face and I had forgotten at
the end of the episode. They were clever enough to
not even reveal her. That was cool and you had
to wait until the next episode, right, But it wasn't
even like to be continued. It was like some of

(49:00):
the audience finding been like, oh, we never see her,
you know, right. Well that's that's also very interesting because
this is so at some point during the season the
show does start to connect where it becomes a serial, right,
where it becomes uh, is that the right way to
put it? Where when when they're when they're when they're
going in every episode is connected to and then it

(49:22):
breaks apart again. I always like the fact that you
could tune into Scrubs and no matter what episodes you
catch it on, it's like you you know, yeah, you
can watch it out of order, as I'm sure they
aired it on on syndication out of order, I imagine.
But but this specific specific two episodes, well, people would
also you know, yeah, and certain actors would do arcs,
you know, they do three you know, um, I think

(49:44):
Liz did three, all right, but come on, first of all,
why can't j D just bend down and look into
the damn machine. I don't know, man, I don't that's
you know, I'm if you're you're worried about that, if
you're worried about that. You're not really watching the show.
I know, Donald, but I'm telling you they nationalized it
a little bit. You can tell the writers were wrestling
with this because they were like, oh, no, she's hurt herself.

(50:04):
We can't move her. Otherwise it was like, oh, come on, girl,
just climb out of the time, or if you're that worried,
slide a backboard in there and help some dude slide
her out. But but it is very clever. But I
just want to say that the device was a little like,
come on, but just just just peek in there, j D.
She's just see what you would just see nostrils in forehead.

(50:26):
First of all, you remember if you ever had an
m R I and I have your deep in that
you're deep in that thing. You're all the way in.
I don't know what the hell kind of m R
R I Liz Bogus was getting. Yeah, just the head,
I guess. But even when it's just the head, you're
all the way in. You want to take a break. Yeah,
we should cut the commercials. They'll be here two minutes.
So let's you know what we should do. Give me

(50:47):
a break, Give me a break. I'm not gonna save brand.
And we're back with Donald Faison and Zach Braff talking

(51:08):
about this awesome one er. Finally, I've been dying to
talk about this for the entire episode. Yeah. So this
this one or shot that starts at six fifty six.
It goes for a full minute. It's uh, very cleverly choreographed.
And and um, here's Jackie. Hi, Hi Jackie, Jackie, Jackie's phone. Hi.

(51:35):
I was gonna use my computer, but at the very
old computer and it just wasn't working at all. No worries,
We're just glad you're here. Um. Welcome to fake doctors,
real friends, ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome Jackie. Jack is
here to surprise somewhere. Oh another surprise, Joel. You are

(51:55):
just making people's months. I needed to pick me up
and jack didn't. Sorry, So Jackie, what's the story here? Um? So,
at the end of this month is my boyfriend's thirtieth birthday,
and I've been trying to figure out what I wanted
to give him, um, and he has no idea what
he wants. So I thought this would be a really
nice surprise because we both are huge fans and we

(52:19):
just finished Rewalk watching for the millions time. We watched
it once a year together. Thank you so much that
that's that's really cool. Donald, we gotta this is a
this is the thirtieth birthday President. We gotta like, do
you want to straighten your shirt or something? Do you
want to change your shirt? Because what's his name? Jackie? Sean? Sean? Alright,
big san? Um? You know' be funny if you tell

(52:42):
Donald and I something about Sean that we we couldn't
possibly know, and we'll throw it out there during the conversation. Um,
he is a very big D and D person. Okay, okay, Donald, Donald,
Donald can tap into that. Yes, he is a very
big um Dungeons and Dragons person. We actually in a campaign. No,

(53:04):
he does not, he does not DM um not yet.
This I'm in my very first game with him right now. Okay,
how do you? Congratulations? I guess you play. Have you
played Dungeons and Dragons before or is this your first time?
This is my first time? And are you liking it?
I am like, yeah, and we're having it to do
remotely unfortunately because of the pandemic going on, but it's

(53:26):
still really fun. Yeah. I would imagine a lot of
D and D. Folks are doing this online these days, right, yeah,
they are. Can we get into a game, Donald because
you like it? Right? I do? I just it depends
on what their rules are, you know what I mean
certain rules are. I don't know. Man, you play, you know,
I grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons, and so you

(53:47):
kind of get used to your d M and then
you go and play in somebody else's world and you're like,
this is nothing like how I remember playing it. Now.
It can take a very long time, right, we don't
know that much. Can we go? Can we do? Can
we do a short campaign? Are you able to do
a short campaign? It's possible, yes. How long is the
campaign that you're on right now? How long have you
been doing it for? We have been doing it, I

(54:07):
want to say, for about a month. Same campaign. We
meet up once a week and we'll play for about
four hours. So you guys play like short hours. You
don't really do the eight hour nine hour D unfortunately
not because some of them, like my boyfriend has to
go in the work in the morning, right, so he

(54:28):
used to it. That used to be the jam, playing
D and D until the sun came up and then
sleeping all day and then getting back together that night
and playing D and D again. Oh, he has had
campaigns like that. We used to love that. And I
grew up in the inner city, so I used to
play dn D with a bunch of drug dealers. Why

(54:49):
did you end up in a D and D with
drug dealers because I grew up with a bunch of
drug dealers as friends, dude. So would they have to
would they have to pause the campaign to deal drugs? No? No, no,
no no no no no, no no no. But it
would just be funny, because you know, it's funny listening
to your boy two Ki rolling dice. Like so I
pull out my you know, I reached it to my

(55:09):
bag ahold and then pull out my sword plus five swing.
You know, rolling dice turns into something completely different when
you're in the hood, Yo, it's something completely different, yo.
And if you know what I mean, you roll a
twenty side. This is the dope thing about twenty side
dis You could either do a twenty side dice or
you could do a tin sided and a six sided

(55:29):
I think at the same time. And that's the same thing, right,
And so you roll and it's like rolling dice. You're
like blowing on the ship, hitting it off the feet
off the dog Joe on the table. You got rules
if it goes off the if it goes off the
board doesn't count. And then you get particular about it,
like let's say it does go off the board, but
you roll a natural twenty, which is a critical hit

(55:51):
in the game. That my that my buddy with DM
and it rolled off the board. You fight for hours like, yo,
just threes. Let this stand. Let this be. I love
playing dn D. Well, maybe maybe Sean will let us
into his game. He would, She'll bring that up. We'll

(56:11):
bring that up in the conversation, like kind of crazy.
I made him hide in our bedroom. What does he
thinks gonna happen? Does he does he have any idea?
What's about to happen? He's like, yeah, she's he's guess,
but not really. I hope we're the best of his guesses.
What if it's gonna be? Like you mean this this?
He's like, what the hell is this bullshit? I thought

(56:32):
I was getting a new dn D. I need to
sit next to you. You gotta put the ear phone
in his ear. I'm sorry to direct you. Happy birthday
Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Happy Birthday,

(56:57):
Happy birthday too, Happy birthday to Happy birthday. Hi, Sean
birth day? All right, you can stop hearing through day Donald,
let the man speak, Jackie hooked it up? A good girlfriend?

(57:22):
Real friends? Are you doing? Man? Happy? Happy? Happy birthday?
Is this the surprise you expected? We want to make
sure that we're better than the surprise you were expecting. Well,
I did make a guess earlier. Was it was it? Yeah?
It was you, But it was like out of the world, like, yeah, sure,

(57:43):
what maybe you did this? I thought I had like
a friend coming over something, but this is, uh, this
is a friend coming over during quarantine. That's what you wanted. No, Sean,
no friends, masked friend, I don't alright, Hey, man, thank
you for for liking our show and for being fans
of us. We we we really appreciate it. And it's

(58:05):
so it's so one of the cool things about this
podcast is we get to randomly neat um fans and
and uh and it's it's so fun. It's much fun
for us to be able to see your face and
talk to you. Absolutely, It's like it's like when we
play D and D and yeah, we wish you were
into dn D because we were gonna invite you into
our game. But we we hear you're not into it.

(58:30):
It's just like when we play right and it's like,
you know, you're going up against God. I grew up,
I grew up playing, I grew up playing I were
playing with I grew up playing with with drug dealers
in my in my hometown. I was gonna take I
was gonna take your whole story and make you mind
and impress Seawan. Yeah there's two key. Oh my god. Yeah.

(59:00):
So so tell us about yourself, Sean. We want to
get to know you briefly. What we what we have you.
Where do you guys live. We live in Morgantown, West Virginia, Virginia,
in the house, right right, right, West Virginia, in the house.
What do you guys do for a living? I'm a
pharmacy technician nice um. Currently I work at Alta Beauty

(59:24):
UM as a prestige beauty price. They're sorry, I put
makeup on people for a living right now, but you're
not able to do that, I imagine right now. Or
maybe you guys are open. I don't know, UM, we
are open, just for curbside pickup. Um, so only my
managers are currently working. I have been home for the
past month and a half. Okay, you're not gonna be
able to go to the curb and put makeup on
someone in the car, unfortunately not. And when and when

(59:48):
you are reopen, I imagine it's gonna be masks and
gloves as you Yeah. Now, Sean, have you still been
working because pharmacies are obviously open. Yeah? Yeah, still nothing
every day? Yeah, so no time to play Dungeons and
Dragons then, Yeah, how are you able to do your campaign?
She was telling you. We've been doing We've been doing
like skype Er, Google hangouts, and there's a lot of

(01:00:11):
online to use here in three campaigns right now, I'm
playing three different games. Well, what kind of character you
do you have? Like I had a I had a
cleric in one and then I had a monk and
another like my my my brother. At one point, the
DM got funking in the game we were playing and
he got to play an ogre Magi, which was so sick. Yeah.

(01:00:34):
Can the DM? Can the DM make up any rules
he or she wants? Yeah, it's their world. Ye there. Yeah,
I'm currently playing a a goliath fighter in one, I'm
playing a uh halfling road in another, and um, a

(01:00:56):
half elf draconic sorcerer in the third one. Nice do
you guys have dark elves and wood elves and all
of that stuff? And oh yeah, it's so such a
fun game man, oh man, Yeah, it's it's a lot
of fun. I've made a lot of friends through it
and uh that's cool. And and so now that it's
all online, does that make it easier for you or

(01:01:19):
is it just as fun or do you prefer to
be in person, like around a table. I prefer to
be in personal table. Um, it's just, you know, it's
just some of the games have maybe six seven people
and it's so it's kind of a a big group
to do online, a lot of screens to go through. Um,
it's just easier to do in person. But it's still,

(01:01:42):
you know, it's still scratches that itch and people get
really passionate about it. I say, do you talk ship
when you play? Are you one of those people? I
was like, yeah, I'm about to crack this motherfucker upside.
San Sean doesn't seem like like he would say something
like that. Donald Okay, not not so much. Maybe, should
do you guys ever get heated? I do you guys
ever get heated and get in fights? Like I should

(01:02:04):
have that should have worked that role. Yeah, there's been
some there's been some friendly conflict in some games. But yeah,
do you guys have a question? Oh yeah, we forgot
we're supposed to ask a question. You can ask us anything, Sean.
You can ask you know how on Reddit they have
a m A asked me anything. This is your own

(01:02:27):
personal birthday, Donald phase on Zach Brath a m A.
Oh gosh, it could be anything anything, Donald. You can
even ask Donald a very private question and he'll answer it.
I'll make it. Don't blow it, Sean. I okay, Well, well, Jackie,

(01:02:48):
maybe while he thinks do you have a question, help
him out. I've had a question because we we've discussed
while we listened to your podcast, like, if you're ever
on here, what would we want to ask um while
we while watching scrubs? Um? So, I assume you all
have seen that the last season, season nine was not
the best season. I don't know what you're talking. We

(01:03:08):
don't even know. I didn't know there was a season nine, Jackie.
The first rule of season nine is there is no
season Well they make it a season nine on U,
So I was kind of just wondering, like you're just
your own feelings on season nine. In general, I I
thought season nine had some very funny moments. You know.

(01:03:29):
I was going through a lot during season nine, Like
I got new teeth while we were doing season nine.
So there are a couple of episodes where my teeth
are like, I didn't know your teeth didn't come till
season nine until that's when I started. That's when I
changed it up, you know, and got these big as. Anyway,

(01:03:51):
there's some really funny performances in season nine. Dave Franco
makes me laugh, you know. Uh in season nine and
outside of the show, I have great memories of season nine.
I also have really bad memories of season nine. I
knew it was over, and I knew it we weren't
necessarily making the show that the fans wanted. But did

(01:04:11):
you miss me? Well, you were in a lot of
the episode. I was only I was only in the
first six. We only did thirteen. Well did you miss
me for the seven? I missed you so much. I
miss you so much. But the point is, I, you know,
I didn't mind season nine. Granted I've never really watched
any of the episodes of Scrubs anyway, so it all

(01:04:35):
kind of seems it all felt like we were still
doing our job. But um, it was weird too. It
was weird for multiple reasons. One, I was leaving and
that was in the air. Also also, eight seasons had
been shot, as I'm sure you you may know from
just us talking about it in the past, in this
abandoned hospital, and then for season nine we moved to
a traditional studio backlot and all, and so they built

(01:04:57):
that fake hospital on a stage and the classroom stuff
was all on the stage, and it felt weird to me.
It felt like jump the sharky a bit if you will.
If you're gonna jump a shark, you might as well
do it. Season nine. Though well we did. I mean,
you know, we were so blessed we went nine seasons,
but it just felt I don't know, I felt weird

(01:05:17):
about it, and I used to this day, it's gonna
be funny if we keep going and decided to make
it to season nine. It's gonna be really funny for
me because I've never seen them, so I will be
watching them for the very first time. But I know,
Dave Franco was so funny. And I like to say
I discovered Carrie Bouchet because I put her in a
pilot and then Bill saw the pilot and yeah, and
I thought, I think carry a Northwestern graduate mind you

(01:05:39):
is very talented. Um. But uh, but I don't know,
it was weird. It was a weird energy in there,
you know, you know when when I think we all
knew something was it was coming to an end, and
we kind of we kind of knew his time for
to be over, but that we kind of didn't want
it to be over. And and I think in Bill's
mind it was like, you know, if these new kids,
if this jails with the audience, this could take off
like like e er, you know, and and and just

(01:05:59):
keep putting in newcast and have to keep going. Yeah.
I remember the moment I realized. I was like, holy shit,
I'm screeched, holy shit, and and and and and John
c Is Belding. I was like, holy shit. Yeah, especially
I did. I did read. I don't know if you

(01:06:19):
guys talked about it or I also looked it up
that it was almost supposed Season nine was almost supposed
to be like a not a spinoff kind of but
like you know, they were going to call it something different, like, well,
it is a spin off, it's not the same episode,
if you if you if it's not the same show,
if you recogn that Season nine came like a year
and a half later, and not necessarily a year later,

(01:06:40):
like you know what I mean? Yeah, I was I
was leaving, and the idea was to help launch this
new series, so j D would be there for six
episodes to like make the audience feel like it wasn't
that different, and then I would tiptoe out and in
hand the video literally off to Carrie Bouchet and it
was gonna be like Scrubs. Med School was kind of

(01:07:02):
like the idea, right, yeah, and um, you know we're
we're teachers now. But we had gotten so far into
the silly realm by that time too, you know what
I mean, Like it was very broad. Yeah, absolutely, dude,
like you and I dressed up as a cowboy and
what was the name of that guy who I think
may have passed? He was very funny, the security guard guy. Yes,

(01:07:24):
did he did he pass away? He did pass away? Yes,
Joel is gonna get his name for us. He was
that he was very funny. I remember doing some funny
stuff with him while I was there for season nine.
Do you have another question? I'm just in trance shock. Yeah. Uh.
Do you even request? Donald concerned? Ad you with the song?

(01:07:48):
The only request is that if I can do it's
a sequence of numbers that after the number is a
song plays you guys always do on the podcast. I
don't want to say it because if I say it,
Oh you want to do it? No? Wait wait, I
would have done it already. No, he's very respectful. I
appreciate that, but I would Dan listen, listen, you will

(01:08:14):
be You're allowed to do it because it's a special occasion.
And by the way, a lot of a lot of people. Sorry,
it's Windell on middlebrooks uh. And he was hilarious and
I'm sad to say that he did pass. Uh. He
was a very very funny man and he was on
season nine Scrubs. This is a security guard. But a
lot of talk on the social media about Bill Lawrence

(01:08:34):
and these numbers this week, and I think people were
cracking up about how Bill kept doing that, and um,
these numbers are all over my my timeline. I don't
know if if it's happened to you too, Donald, No,
I I knew exactly what he was talking about when
he said it. I'm I'm very impressed that he asked
if he could do it, and he's unlike Bill, he's

(01:08:55):
a respectful man. It made it eight, I mean, yeah,
like from your Donald stop it listen, um listen, and uh,
it's your birthday. You're the very first person we've allowed
to do this who's not Donald, Bill Lawrence A right? Oh,

(01:09:17):
Judy did to Judy did and so did what's her
name the caller didn't she? Yes? Okay, you're right. You
ruined it. You ruined the specialness of it. I'm not
the only person, but you're the You're you're you're one
a few other than Donald. You're way too respectful, Sean.
I'm gonna say that you're way too respectful. Well, thank you,

(01:09:38):
thank you for calling in. Happy birthday. And as you leave,
you may yell those don't yell him because Dan's just
she's but Donald, let me direct Sean go ahead. I'm sorry, dude,
I didn't mean to get in the way. Okay, Sean,
you can do what however you like. Thank you for
coming on the show. Happy birthday. Thank you guys so much.

(01:09:58):
This is amazing. Go for it, chun stories. Okay, thank you. Okay,
we're back. Thank you guys for coming on. Happy Happy

(01:10:19):
May all your how do you? How do you wish
someone well on a Duncan Duncan on a D and
D campaign? Do you say like, may your journey be
successful or something like that. That sounds great, May all
of your May all of your journeys be successful. May
the dice fall in your favor. That's perfect. There you go.
I wish you. I wish you critical hits in your

(01:10:41):
next campaign. May a warlock never eat your brains. I
hope you never see the eyes of a beholder. Yeah,
if you ever come across an elf and his name
is Jasper, ignore him. Elf with the bow is so cliche. Okay, bye, guys.

(01:11:06):
The show is going on forever. Donald, this is one
I know, I know what we got it going on
D and D and and uh and and so many
other things. French fries. Okay, let's get back into it. Okay,
So we were talking about the awesome Uh, I think
we've done the one or Justice Johnny's great Charles Pappard
the city came operating to find job missed a man. Amazing. Okay, Uh,

(01:11:31):
then you with the medical jargon. I know, dude. I
want to say that was badass and I was washing
it going go Zach because that I have a big
ass chunk of jargon. And for all of you in
the medical profession, who know what the hell I'm saying? Um,
you guys are smart and all I had to do
is memorize it. I didn't get too many of those,

(01:11:51):
but that was a doozy. That was a doozy. Also,
the return of Jimmy Walker so funny. Who are you
all always in my fanity? Why am I always? By
the way, you got a problem man? Yeah, by the
way you mentioned it last time. Jimmy Walker showed up
and he makes really fun bizarre choices. Yes, like why

(01:12:13):
are you all fantasies? You got a problem? Man? Yeah? Yeah,
that was hilarious. Though that very interesting line reads make
it funny, It makes it very very funny. He was
kid dynamite. A little bit of trivia on Sarah Chalk
in the Catcher outfit. She looks very cute at eleven

(01:12:35):
forty two, but she's wearing a left handed mit Donald, Well,
that's for camera purposes, obviously, I guess so. But I'm
telling you, I looked on the on the on the trivia,
and Sarah is a right hander. She shouldn't be wearing
a left handed man right here, right here. Uh, she
was helping me to help you. I don't know how
she didn't laugh with him doing that in her face.

(01:12:56):
I think she did. I think I need to help you,
I'm sure. On the gagriel, which is probably on YouTube,
you can see her cracking up at that. Yeah. And
now finally it wasn't my final one. Dr Kelso saying
Dr Kelso, I'm not suing the hospital and then him
walking out was my biggest laugh of the show. I
said it before, I'll say it again. That ship was hilarious. Man,
that was funny. But my heart hates ugos. That's funny,

(01:13:20):
But I mean, it's a funny line. But first of all,
I'm no piece of art, and the idea that j
D was saying he ates ugoes is a bit ridiculous
because I'm no Brad Pitt myself. But it was funny.
But it was very funny. Yeah, very funny. That end
song is supposed to be five for fighting easy tonight,
for licensing, purposing purposes. I listened to it on was

(01:13:42):
it that on? Who you listen on Hulu? I saw
it on Hulu. It wasn't that, for sure, Yeah, it wasn't.
I was on iTunes and it wasn't on iTunes. So
just to reiterate, some of you have heard say this
a thousand times, but those of you hadn't, um, because
there was no streaming and such when this show was made,
and these licensing agreements were made with these songs. Um,
and unless you're watching them in certain places, Um, you
have the DVDs of course, or most of the time

(01:14:04):
on when you purchase it, like really purchase it iTunes
or Amazon, the songs will be the original songs, I believe.
But when you stream, some of those contracts have expired
or didn't cover streaming. So someone who we never know
and has nothing to do with Bill or Christa who
did a lot of music, just put songs in. I'd
love to meet that person. Maybe maybe Joel can do

(01:14:25):
a homework assignment a very special episode of We Gotta
Bring That. We gotta find that person and be like
some mysterious intern at Disney was responsible for just putting
in random songs. Because I was watching this this montage
moment with Sarah starting to kick us in the I
c U and I said to myself, this music isn't
moving me. And one of the great things about Scrubs

(01:14:46):
is when they would find the perfect they slash, we
would find the perfect bit of music and it would
give you goose bumps and it took the show to
the next level. And people love that about the show.
And it just goes to show you you can't just
stick any old song in there, because a lot of
the magic if this montage for me was lost because
the song did nothing for me. No offense to those musicians.
It's a lovely song, but it wasn't that magic that

(01:15:06):
happens when you find just the right song. And I
bet that five for Fighting Easy Tonight's song would have
been perfect. So you tell Judy you love her at
I was surprised by that. Why break through theode? I know,
I don't think he's trying to do I think he's panicking. Yeah,
you know what, I think the fact that he got
upset about her taking the fries panicked him because that's

(01:15:29):
a sign of I really do care about you know what,
this how this girl makes me feel. I care so
much that I'm starting to recognize patterns, you know what
I mean. And when you start to recognize patterns, you're invested.
And I think Turk realized, Holy cow, I'm so invested
in Carla that and and and it's it's it's new

(01:15:55):
for me. Therefore, he snaps with the French Fries and
he doesn't know how to tell take it. And when
it comes time to, you know, break up with her,
what she thinks is about to happen, he tells her
the truth. You know that the writers so much. The
writers did a good job with that mislead, because I
again haven't seen this in twenty years, and I was like, oh,

(01:16:15):
did they break up for a few episodes. I had
no idea that you were about to say I love you. Right.
You did a good job, though you were. It was
a very heartfelt moment, and you're a fine actor. Donald Phaison, Oh,
Zach braf Actor. Two more small things. First time Dr
Cox ever calls Sarah Barbie. Okay, this a little trivia
for you. The two of them together was really fun.

(01:16:36):
They're really good together. They were good they were good
combo and um. And lastly, because there's girl Scout cookies
in this episode, do you want to tell the listeners
what your favorite Girl Scout cookie is? Joel? Do you
want to go? First? Of all, he don't. I don't funk.
Whoa uh fighting? Where's Donald? How can you have by
cookies from these adorable little girls? I don't care about

(01:16:57):
the girls, care about the cookie? I think? Yeah to say,
I think the cookies are overpriced? You don't, okay, But
for the sake of this fucking exercise, can you name
your favorite dick? I don't girl Scott cook Oh my god?
All right, Joel, But Joel, what's your favorite? I like
Samoa's Samoas are delicious. That a frozen tag along though,

(01:17:19):
is my favorite? The chocolate and peanut everyone. You're one
of those ones? Dan, you want to weigh in favorite
girls cook cookie? Oh he's got a box? Oh, ship
got a box of Samoa's. Do you have a niece
or something like that that you had to body? Where
did you get those I see those girls. I see
those girls and their mom on the corner, and I'm like,
and they're like girls Scott cookies. Do you know my mom.

(01:17:40):
I'm like, no, Dan, Dan, what where did you get those?
They come to my parents neighborhood all the time, so
they always hit me up. They said, Dan, they're coming around,
throw us in order, and I get in between five
and tag boxes those smokes. You know what they're doing? Money?
You know what you're doing money, Shut up down. You're
supporting a charity, all right? Listen? Oh is it for charity? Yeah,

(01:18:00):
they give it to the they do girls count things
with it. What girls? Can you think? They're just pocketing
the money and putting badges on their ship. So let
me get this straight. When you think the girls cookies
aren't money, let me get it prom Hold on, let
me get this straight. So when you were a kid
and you had to sell candy for something, you didn't
pocket that money. No, And I never had one of

(01:18:20):
those things because I wasn't involved in any of those activities.
You ain't pocket that money. No, you're you're admitting to
the audience that you stole fucking charity money. The price.
All you gotta do is up the price. Instead of
making it a dollar, you're making a dollar fifty and
you walk away with fifty cents. This is these are
these are? This is like how to hustle. You want

(01:18:42):
to learn how to hustle. This is the perfect way
to hustle. Listen, they gave Listen, they give kids. There's
a reason why when you see those kids with the
candy and the chocolate bars, that they're charging you five
dollars for the chocolate. Oh my god. Well this Pelleton
character be back on the next episode or is he
just in this episode? He might just be this episode.
But I didn't drink. Hey, check this out. I didn't

(01:19:02):
drink this episode. Worked up because of the Peloton instructor,
because of a Peloton instructor and how my wife responded
to him. I was like, so that was really interesting
that you you know, you made me, you gave me
that guy. She's like, well, like I rode with him
this morning. Like, oh okay, so your wife, Casey com
got all worked up by this guy. I think she

(01:19:23):
might have got worked But he's got better abs than you. Donald.
He definitely has better abs than me. He has better
guns than me. He's probably got better season's way more
stamina than I have. Hey, listen, I just want to
tell you something. What these girl scouts are doing in
California is setting up outside the weed chops because weed
is legal here, even for recreational, as it is in
several other states. So you're telling me that's not a hustle.

(01:19:44):
So you're telling me that's a smart hustle. That's hious.
So it's not a smart hustle to up the price
of girl Scout cookies, just a smart hustle, just to stay.
You're not allowed to have a weed shop within feet
of children. They're breaking the law. You're breaking the law
Girl Scouts. If you're lining up in front of the

(01:20:05):
weed shop, you're breaking the law. So Donald is now
gonna you're putting the weed shop in jeopardy. I'm just
getting it out there. You're gonna go out there and
uh and start breaking it up right, get out in
front of my weed shop. But let me get a
box of some moments. First, I'm gonna call the cops.
I'm gonna call the cops on them. First. Let me
get a box. Attendment the only right, only way load,

(01:20:26):
what's the what's the actual retail price? What's the actual
retail We've kept people for an hour and a half.
We love you, Thank you for listening. This has been
fake doctors with real friends. Count him in Donald Box
six seven eight stories I'm about sure we made about
nurses and stories. Get around here? Are ye around here?

(01:21:01):
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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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