220: My Interpretation

On this week episode, Turk can't stop having sex dreams about Elliot. In the real world, Joelle gets a much better fan call (I'm so sorry.) https://amandakloots.com/subscription-preview-page

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, I'm back in l A. Are you're excited to
be back. I'm very excited to be back. It's the
shirt that you're wearing right now. It's a little tight,
thank you, it says, No, I mean it's a little tight,
like it's constricting, like it's both it's both on a
on a non dissing me note. It says hooray for
health heroes, because, um, I believe in that. Our friend

(00:22):
Amanda cludes who is the widow of the late Nick Cordero,
has been selling all these awesome shirts hooray for different things,
and she gave me hooray for health heroes because she
knows I love health heroes and to give her a plug.
I'm sure I don't know what the link is, but
if you put in amandacludes hooray for dot dot dot

(00:44):
t shirts. Uh, I think some of the money goes
to a really good cause. And of course some of
the money goes to helping or live without her husband.
Right on, how are you guys? How are you guys
doing after this wonderful again that we just had, Happy
to be a home. We're all finally back in Jesus,

(01:06):
did you just land Zach today? I landed late last night,
and um, I know it is smoky year it does
if you're not if you don't live in l A.
It smells kind of like the whole place smells like
a camp fire, and there's this weird haze that the
sun comes through and kind of gives everything a weird
instagrammy filter. Right. It's like it's like if you were

(01:27):
a photographer and you didn't want to go through the
normal white balancing, you might use daylight and usually that
makes your pictures really orange. That's what it's like outside. Yeah,
if you've lived here through all of these fires, you
probably used to it. But if you was gone so
long now and finally back, and it's just it's it's eerie.
It does kind of look like there's this, uh, there's

(01:51):
this filter over everything, and of course you smell it
and uh and occasionally fire choppers fly by over my house.
I'm told the closest one is Acadena to us. Is
that right, guys? Do you know? Yeah, it's the Bobcat fire.
But if you look on on a map of California
where they show there's fires, it looks like the entire

(02:11):
state is on fire. It's just insane. Well, it's not
just California. Oregon is experiencing fires like a bunch of
plates is Colorado. The West coast is on fire right now.
To be honest with you, everything west is in the
United States is burning. Man, this thing is like, it's
it's just uh, you know, smoke field after smoke field

(02:35):
after smoke feel you know what I mean? Like we
needed that. I mean it's like I remember when the
COVID first started and and someone put on there was
some announcement that bears were coming out of the of
the woods because of looking for food because people weren't
leaving their houses. And someone put on Twitter something like
not now bears, and uh, And that's kind of how

(02:57):
I feel about the fires. It's like, are you fucking
kidding me? Like we were we already have an apocalypse going,
you're bringing fires now? I mean, if there is here
comes the flood too. Did you hear about the piece
of ice double the size of Manhattan that's just broken
off from the Arctic ice thing and it's just floating

(03:18):
along in the ocean now eventually the size of two
Manhattans to manat If there is a higher power, it
does feel like he or she is trying to get
rid of us. Well, we're helping, We're helping. We're definitely,
we're definitely helping. But doesn't it feel like these are
just plagues? And and you know, George Carlin had this

(03:40):
amazing bit about how like how the Earth and Mother
Earth is way more powerful than than than than the
humans are like little ants on its back and it's
just gonna like swap them off eventually, and then some
other animal it'll be their turn to rule Earth. But
but and you can google that. It's super art, culent
and genius, as George Carlin was. But I've been thinking

(04:03):
about that bit lately because I'm like the Earth or
higher power or something feels like it's like, all right,
fuck humans, enough we've been We've been sucking it up
for too long. This is you know, this is the
results of our own greed. I like to think there's
a sci fi movie that could chronologically tell the tale

(04:23):
of this planet, Like what if we aren't the you
know what I mean, Like they're just they're just figuring
out that there could be life on Venus, right, They
just they just they just figured that out. It's possible
that the atmosphere has bacteria in it, right, Okay, so
like what if we were at Venus? First we were

(04:48):
we were Venus, and then we were and then we
were we fucked that planet up and somehow we got
to Earth. We're about to funk that planet up, this
planet up, and we've got to tear a form Mars
and that's the next stop for our civilization to begin.
And we're just hopping through the galaxy freaking and almost

(05:08):
like we're a bacteria. Dude. It's crazy, dude, right, think
about it, right, and we're gonna need uh yeah, and
the sun's burning out anyway, so I mean it all,
it all has an end date, even billions of years
from now, years from now, I know. But guys, worst
case scenario before we're gonna die off before the sun
burns off. But the sun is there is an end date.
You know, the sun is going to run out. I

(05:29):
want you to know something. Um two things. My publicist
gifted me something. Oh my god, she got you to simulator.
Calm now, everybody calmed down. But I want you to
I want you to know and I want all the
fans to know the level of friend that I am.
I'm not going to tell you what it is, because
it's not coming for three weeks. But it's mega. It's

(05:50):
a simulator, dude, it's not a simulator. And don't guess
I already know what it is. Are we stopped guessing.
She I just want you to know something. She scored
me something very very special and expensive, and I said,
I couldn't possibly take that unless you got donald one too,
and she said, hold on, I'm on it. And that

(06:14):
was like a month ago, and she just texted me
today she scored you one too. Thank you for the
new Xbox. It's not an Xbox. Is doper than an Xbox.
But don't guess. When I want the fans and listeners,
you will. You will be the first. I'm gonna I'm gonna.
I'm gonna arrange it so when it comes, you open
it on the podcast. I've always wanted a Tesla. No,

(06:39):
you went too high with Tesla and went too low
with Xbox. It's somewhere in between a Tesla and an Xbox.
The second thing I gotta tell you is that I
I I ordered a Peloton and it arrived while I
was gone, and so I did my first I'm so
out of shape. All I did was eat fish and
chips and drink over there in the United Kingdom, and uh,

(07:01):
I have love handles and I'm not down with that.
So they're gonna be gone thanks to my new peloton.
What do you think? But listen, I want to tell
you I chose an instructor. Um, I chose. I don't
know if you've used the so I think he's a
British Asian guy. But my point is is that he's
got your exact tech two. He's got a Superman while
you're getting rid of it, right yours are well. Donald

(07:25):
had he got when he was very young a Superman
tattoo on his arm, and he's had his whole life,
or since he was young, and he didn't like it anymore.
He's getting rid of it. But I've take my first
spin class on my peloton and I get on and
there in the exact same spot as yours. The darn
fella had a Superman tattoo. I love that and it

(07:46):
was And now you have just opened up the d
C universe for me and we can get into that
before we know. No, no, it's a Scrubs podcast, and
then it's also about our friends. I'm just joking. I'm justoking.
You and Joel are perfectly perfectly ready and able to
go do the Marvel d C Star Wars podcast. Can't Wait?

(08:12):
All right, let's count us in seven eight stories about sure,
we made about a bunch of doctor nurses Jenn stories
around here, around here. This episode is about sex. Sex, sex.

(08:43):
It's more no this This episode has a lot of
sex in it. This one is if you This is
one of those episodes that if you walked in and
your kids were watching it, you would either if they
were young enough to say, turn that off, or if
they were of an age to watch it, you would
leave the room. There was a lot of fucking in
this episode. Well, and there's a lot of tongue fighting

(09:05):
in this episode. Yeah, now, I want to get right
into that. Both. What you want to do your summary,
because I want if you want to talk about the
tongue in this episode, a lot of tongue. All right,
let's get into it, all right, let me get my
time around. It's gonna be long, no, you know, thirty seconds.
That's the game, Remember and go. Everyone has secrets. J
D knows and is helping Jordan keep her baby's father's

(09:26):
identity a secret. Jad also secretly sexed up tasty Comba
wife Turk's having sex dreams about Elliott and wants to
keep it a secret from Carla, and Dr Cox is
secretly hating the time Jordan is making him spend with
his kid he doesn't even know is his own. In
order to keep a secret, you often have to tell
a lie, and when you tell one lie, it leads

(09:46):
to another and another. Whether it's to protect yourself for
someone other than you, lying, although easy, isn't the wisest choice. Yes,
sometimes the truth hurts, but the pain of guilt and
regret is immeasurable and can last a lifetime when your
secret and or lie is uncovered, especially when it hurts

(10:08):
the one you're trying to protect. Okay, let's say the
game was donald seconds. You nailed it, right. I love
that you nailed it. No, that was good. That was good. Well,
I I put at the top of my thing. I
wrote all my notes, and then I was, as I
was kind of looking them over, I just wrote sex

(10:29):
on the top of my pad. Because there's a lot
of sex, there's a lot of horny nous, there's a
lot of pent up libidos, in this episode. Absolutely, But
if you notice, everything that's fucked up in this all
comes from someone either lying or keeping a secret from
the other person. It's fine to be sexual and everything
like that, but when you start keeping secrets and sex,

(10:51):
or you start lying about sex, that's when usually stuff
starts to go the wrong way. But but why would
Turk or why would you or why would anyone tell
their lover that they had a sex dream about their
female friend. That just seems like a horrible idea. Well,
the minute that Turk told Elliott horrible idea, we know,

(11:13):
Elliots not only that, what are you You're trying to
start that you want to be stotting something? Are you
saying that? Ship? So that Elliot would be like, you
know what I've been thinking about you two, Turk, I've
always wanted BBC. You know what I mean? Like, is that?
What happens that? What is that? What is that? What
is that what he was expecting to happen? Yeah, I
doubt I doubt Elliot's ever had BBC. You're talking about

(11:37):
the British network, right, yeah, little British network. Um, now
I have to jump right to that fantasy of you guys,
because I had multiple emotions. No, we're gonna go back,
but it's the headline for everyone who doesn't remember. This
is the episode where Sarah is in like the sexiest
pleather nurse up a outfits and she's on Donald and

(12:03):
she Donald's having a sex dream about her, Turk's having
a sexy about her and they really go at it. Now.
I had mixed emotions. One, I was like, Okay, damn Sarah,
because she's got the stocking thing with the with the
garter belt. I don't know what do you call those
things when it's like a strap that holds the stockings up,

(12:24):
garter belts. I don't even know that purpose of the
damn thing, but it looked great. Okay, Well, her stockings
are up and she's kissing on you, and I just
gotta know what was that like? I mean, use disgust
on the show that you weren't getting too many opportunities
outside of the beautiful and talent to Judy Reyes. And
there's your friend Sarah chalking a naughty outfit, mounting you,

(12:47):
kissing on you. I'm gonna tell you something right now.
When we were filming it, it felt horrible because it
was like kissing my sister, and I don't believe that.
I don't believe you, okay, but I'm telling you that
and doing that, it was like, oh my god, I'm
kissing my sister. I love Sarah Chalk so much that
it is like my family when I'm around her. And

(13:10):
at this point in the series, we had spent so
much time together. We had spent so much time together
that it was no longer you know, when I first
saw Sarah, obviously, I was like, holy cow, she's hot.
When I first saw Judy, Holy cow, she's hot. But
at this point, she is my sister. And so I
remember doing this thing and being like, oh my god,

(13:30):
and not this is gross, but uh, this is work.
Let's approach this as professionals and you know, make it through. Uh,
I don't I I mean, I I don't think you're lying.
But I also don't think that you thought it was uncomfortable,
as it would be. It was very uncomfortable. I remember, Yeah,

(13:51):
it was. It was one of those uncomfortable feelings where
it was like it felt dirty, but not in a
good anyway, you know what I mean. Bad? It felt bad. Dirty,
It felt bad, dirty, Like this doesn't feel right at all.
And you don't have any twitching or movement. I take it.
There was no twitching movement. And I love Sarah and
I think she's beautiful and hot, but at that time

(14:14):
when making this, when shooting this, there was nothing happening
when I saw When I saw it today, when I
saw it today, I was like, oh wow, look at
the chemistry Sarah and I have. The kiss was passionate,
It felt you know what I mean. The everything about
it felt sexual and tabo, not taboo wish, but like
sexual and well, I guess taboosh because you're not supposed

(14:35):
to be thinking about stuff like that when you're engaged.
And I totally understand if there were people out there
that caught feelings when watching it, I I understand why
because it was hot. I had multiple emotions going on.
I had one that was like, wow, they that's kind
of hot. I mean, Sarah looked great, and you know,

(14:56):
you two going at it was sort of naughty and
taboo like you said, But then I was I had
a little bit like why is Donald making out with
my TV girlfriend? Like I was a little jella, you
got a little jealous. I had a little tinge of
like get your fucking hands off my TV. Girlfriend? Do
you ever see the Last Dragon? No, you've never seen

(15:17):
the Last Dragon? The Last Dragon? No, I've not seen.
Please see the Last Dragon? Please, I'm begging you. Who's
gonna see the Last Dragon? Who plays the Dragon? Uh?
This dude, this dude, time mark It's Berry Gordy's the
Last Dragon. Okay, Berry Gordy started motown. No motown is right. Okay,

(15:39):
I'm just saying put out such artists at like Smokey
Robinson and the Miracles, Michael Jackson motown artist. He made
a movie, he produced a movie called The Last Dragon
about Bruce Leroy, the uh, the the protect of Harlem,

(16:00):
the kung Fu protector of Harlem. And there's only one
person in his path that is trying to stop him
from being the one protector of Harlem, and that is
show Enough and show Enough is the show Gun of Harlem.
And he is the prettiest and he is the baddest
and the kung Fu in it. There's music in it.
I guess you could say that. I don't think they

(16:21):
meant to do that when they were making it. It
was meant to be taken, you know, as a real story.
But with comedy and action and adventure. But I'm telling
you right now, in my youth growing up, this was
a huge movie. So anybody out there listening, if you
haven't seen The Last Dragon and you wanna laugh and

(16:43):
you want to, you know, see some really cool action
and you want to hear some witty lines and stuff
like that, please get it. But there's a line in
it where it doesn't make sense if you haven't seen
the movie, but there's a line in it where uh Vanity,
God rest her soul, uh rest in peace. Uh is
being kidnapped and this young man who plays Bruce Lee

(17:04):
Roy's brother so he also passed away. Uh yells at
the kidnapper, hey, get your hands off my woman, and
the dude looks at him like, you gotta be kidding me,
and he gets even louder. I said, get your hands
off my woman. And so when you got jealous about
me kissing on Sarah, it made me think of get

(17:25):
your hands off my woman. I digress. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Well,
I don't know what to say to that, that long
epic anecdote, but yes, Donald, that is how I felt.
I felt, like, get your hands off my woman. Now
I want to talk about movie kissing, because there's times

(17:46):
when you do a movie kiss and uh, you just
sort of both open your mouths, but there's no tongue.
And then there's times when you do a movie kiss
and between the two actors that just kind of get
lost in it and becomes like a real French kiss. Um.
I noticed that in yours there wasn't really any visible tongue. Yeah,

(18:09):
you know, but there was a lot of lip and
which is also really sexy, you know what I mean.
But I'm telling you that I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassing because
in my in my sex scene, I'm embarrassed to tell
you there's a lot of visual tongue, and I don't
think there should be. I think it's too much. I
think amy smart and I got a little lost in
the moment. That's fine, but I kind of cringed when

(18:32):
I was like, oh, buddy, nobody wants to be seeing tongues. No,
you know what, there was a moment in time where
that was sexy and and when in movies you kind
of whoo. I can rationalize it a little bit, though
it was so naughty and so taboo. We're literally fucking
in the storage closet of the funeral home where her

(18:52):
husband is being maid to rest. And so it was
so wrong and taboo and up against the wall, and
just like it wasn't making love, it was fucking. And
so there was this extra passion and hunger. Yeah, not
only that the fact that j D decides to mask

(19:19):
or deceive the people who here. Amy smarts character moan
in the closet as if something fell on his something
hit his hand or something like that. Smarts Amy's character
has an orgasm and and and she lets out this
loud yell and then I come out and say something

(19:42):
fell on my foot, and I recreate her orgasm, being like, oh,
but it's not like you didn't go. It was like
like it was like that's funny. It's like I tell
everyone at the funeral at home, like I'm so sorry
something fell on my foot. And then I'm like I

(20:04):
was like, uh, it was so naughty for I mean,
think about what we're doing on fucking prime time NBC
back in the day. I am still shocked. This was
twenty years ago. I feel like now that would be
like not something you put in prime time on NBC.

(20:25):
But I don't know. It was good. It was funny ship. Well,
you gotta remember there weren't all of these other streaming services.
I always say that, and Bill was trying to push
the envelope at what you could do. But man, did
he I mean, I I just can't imagine you. We
hear about people's kids watching Scrubs nowadays on on Hulu
or wherever they're finding it. And I remember Matt Tarslas,

(20:48):
who was one of our friends and writers, said that
he walked into the room and his kids were watching
Scrubs and he circled right back and walked out because
it was something so risque like this. I just think
I'd imagine your kids are wanting a bang. The whole
cold opening is hilarious, man, with great episode. Yeah, I
laughed really hard. I mean when you look at it,

(21:10):
you know, the whole massage thing and how Jordan wants
him to watch the kids so she could get a massage.
I can relate to that. I can. I everybody needs
a massage, you know what I mean. Giant, you know
what I mean. Also, Johnny looking like baby Lex Luthor
that had me rolling, you know what I mean. He
looked like Lex Luthor was a baby, like and and
you know, anyway, Todd deciding, you know that he was

(21:32):
going to take a twosi after he worked out instead
of before he worked out. So just to remind those
of you didn't watch it, it's really clever. And they
press that all the lead characters with some sort of
thing they're doing. Kelso's in tight shoes, Todd doesn't know
if he wants to do key before or after his workout.
Everyone's every every ever is defibrillating, pretending he's the doctor,

(21:53):
and his defibrillating a mop dressed up like a patient. Yeah,
and Aloma nurse Roberts is repairing a copy machine. And
all of these people have their own things they're involved in,
and then it all culminates, culminates with everyone screaming for
a different reason. It was so so clever the way
that was all done, very clever. I laughed so hard

(22:14):
at Kelso looking at his foot with the blood after
the shoes were too small. What about Sam Lloyd? He
hasn't looked in the mirror at himself in a long time,
and he screams in himself. Um oh man, A really
really good episode. I and so many things. It's another
one kind. Season two was was great. I gotta say,
we really hit our stride here because there's so many things.

(22:37):
I mean, we'll get to them all. But there's a
whole bunch of things in this episode where that are
like really memorable moments of from all nine years. So
I really liked my fall down the stairs. That ship
was I wrote that down the great pratfall. Thank you
for the cold open. Also, that was just took a dive.
That was a nice one. I wish they didn't cut
away from me. I mean I usually had done the

(22:59):
classic j D fall and then pop back up because
they cut to Amy's reaction. Of course it makes sense
to cut to a reaction, but you could easily have
just done me big fall obviously hit a matt without
anyone seeing, and then pop right back up like nothing happened.
But but I mean, there's a bunch of moments in
that whole scene where it's jokes that are similar to

(23:21):
that where it's like misleading where she's like you want
to go get a drink and you're like, yeah, let's
get out of here. You know what I mean? Say,
is there a bar at this funeral home? First of all,
is there ever? Have you ever been to a funeral
that wasn't that I know, Like like when people go
back to their house, they have booze, but like this
funeral home has waiters serving booze. Is that a thing?
I don't I don't know that it is a thing.

(23:42):
I've been to you. You look like you're thinking about it.
Have you ever been to h to a funeral where
they served booze with entrees? I think he makes do.
I would love to hear from our Irish fans. Is
this is this a horrible stereotype I've been taught as
an American? Or do you guys actually do your funeral?
Is it? No? I know, I know, I know when
they everyone goes home, Like the we Jews have Shiva,

(24:05):
which is and I know that that that other dominations
have wakes, but and there's booze there. But at the funeral,
at the funeral, there was raiders. And I just don't
think that would be a good thing to do. You've
seen some of the things that happened at African American funerals.
I just couldn't imagine serving booze at the funeral because
you know, jumps off period. I couldn't imagine, Oh my goodness, gracious,

(24:29):
I can't imagine liquor. Yeah, it would be a bad idea,
because you know, the people who have to speak would
get up and get They're already emotional enough. They don't
need booze to make them. Nobody needs that, nobody needs them. No,
but it was funny. I mean, I I, she goes,
you should get a drink, and I grab one off
the off the tray, and she goes, no, that guy's
busting those drinks. Get you have to order from him.

(24:49):
And I spit it back up in my cup and
I go, somebody's a smoker. I guess, does that mean
he ashed in his drink? I don't know. I think
there was a cigarette, But I laughed. I laughed. I
didn't even know what the joke was. I didn't know
if he had had put his cigarette. That happened to
me once I was a kid and I and I
reached for a coke can I thought was was mine

(25:10):
and I chugged it and it had been like someone's
ash tray for like a weeks. Whoa uh um. Now
you know I'm a fan of the lip bite. I've
mentioned that as it pertains to Elsie Silverstone and Clueless.
Um By the way, Flow was watching Clueless on the plane.
She had never seen Get out of here Donald um Well,

(25:38):
I was watching with her, but I saw her laughing,
and I and and we were we were talking about
some of your finest moments. But speaking of Lisie Silverstone
and lip bites, Amy Smart does an epic lip bite
at three fifty. I don't know if you caught that.
It's kind of what kicks everything off. I'm trying to
be respectful at the funeral, and she does like a
big old classic Elsie silver or Stone lip bite, and

(26:01):
then you guys crash into that and the hard cuts
to banging in the closet. Yes, do you think anyone's
ever had sex during a funeral? In absolutely, absolutely, rely
absolutely Why because like, emotions are high, and I mean no,
because people, you know, people listen, man, some people aren't

(26:23):
who they say they are. Also, now let's keep it
one hundred and some people are who they say they are.
I'm saying there are people that have been at the
funeral and have buried their spouse at that moment and
was and was having sex within five seconds of the
spouse at the funeral. I don't think this is something

(26:43):
that has never happened before. Sure, this has happened several times.
I don't think this is statistically I'm sure this is
something that has happened often. Well. I if you're someone
who knows of sex at the funeral, please write us
on on our social media's because or emailed Joel because
we would love to have you on the show. We
don't want any liars, so you have to it's the

(27:04):
honor system. But we would love to hear the tale
of how you banged at the funeral. By the way,
one of my favorite lines in Scrubs history, and I
know Bill loves was like, God, no, we don't. I
don't want to hear the tale ab how someone banged
out the funeral. I don't. Oh my god, you guys,
I do. I want to hear all the gossip like
a Loma in this episode who's sliding all around. Oh

(27:26):
my god. Nurse Roberts is so funny this episode. Anytime
there's gossips, she rolls up in her chair and they
speed it up so she's like, UM, I just want
to say that I always loved this line, and I
know Bill loves this line because we've quoted it to
each other when I go very a little bit, what
do you ish, um, Jane? Either there were a lot

(27:48):
of ways to grieve um, but last time I checked,
wheelbarrow style wasn't one of them, which means that not
only we didn't have like we didn't even have just
like standing up against the wall sex. We got to
like wheelbarrow style. Guys. You guys had dirty sex. You
guys in the in the closet at the funeral. You

(28:10):
guys were doing freaking tricks. Can you imagine we were
like we were like, we weren't just like, oh, let's
have a quokie against the wall. We were like, okay,
now let's do wheelbarrow style, right, Like it just gets
out of control. It just gets out of control, like
freaking Team America. Like it starts off and you're like,
all the puppets are having sex, and then they started
doing weird poses and then he sits on the puppet

(28:33):
on the other puppet. I gotta watch that movie again,
but I do remember when the puppets ship on each other.
I thought it was a funny thing. But I think
I dwell, are you asking what wheelbarrow style is? Because
when you when I saw your hand motion, which essentially
like a wheelbarrow race, like you've got her buy the
hips like I think, I'm I think I'm holding Yeah,
I think I'm holding she I think, as I understand,

(28:56):
wheelbarrow style is uh, the receiver the wheelbarrow style has
their hands note, Dan, Dan, you got your hands like
on a desk like this like I have. And then
the person who's giving the wheelbarrow would be holding up
the legs, maybe by the thighs, so they're kind of
in a plank. The person receiving is sort of in

(29:17):
a plank position, George, so much more impressive because you
guys are doing it in a closet during during her
husband's and there's a lot of ways to grieve, but
I'm pretty sure that wheelbarrow style isn't one of them. Yeah, fantastic.
And then okay, so then and then dude, the janitor's

(29:41):
penis how the hell? How the hell does that? What
luck j D has that in the middle of driving
home he realizes I got he know, he realized, oh shoot,
I gotta piss. Why didn't I take the p before
I left? But the luck of him running up to
a house and being the janitor's house, and not only

(30:02):
the janitor's house, but the janitor's bathroom window are he's showering.
It's a little bit of a coincidence. But we gotta
take a break. We'll be right back to talk about
the janitor's penis. And we're bad. So we know a

(30:24):
couple of things. It's safe to assume that the janitor
has a very large penis. Yeah, the head movement that
j D makes, you know, how to insinuate that it's long.
He does the old tilt the head to insinuate that
it's right. Now we know that he sees a potentially
um uh dangerous melanoma on the janitor's penis. But of

(30:46):
course it's of course the TV show. The odds that
j D has to pull over and take a piss
outside the janitor's bathroom window will allow that to happen. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,
we'll go with the what's that word, I'm thinking creative license,
So we'll suspend our disbelieve or whatever. Yes, but isn't
that the term creative license? To okay um anyway, So

(31:10):
we'll allow that suspension of disbelief is probably a better
way to and it works for, and it works for
the joke later on where j D has to explain
to him, Oh my god, that dialogue is so funny.
I think, I think it's on scrumbs WICKI let me
just try and read it to you, because I I
it's it's the wording is so funny. Oh, I go, um,
I gotta be straight with you. I saw your penis

(31:30):
and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really
have checked out. He says, when did you see my penis?
I say, last night when you were showering. He says,
where were you? I said, I was outside in the bushes,
and he goes, uh, And I look, it was a coincidence, man,
I mean if you if you looked out the window,

(31:51):
you'd have seen my penis, you know. And he goes,
what why? He goes, and I go, because I had
it out while I was looking at yours. Oh my god,
it's so funny, so funny, so um. But we have

(32:12):
a nice It leads to a nice moment, of course,
one of the greatest jokes in Scrubs history. Don't worry,
it's benign and he goes, benign And I don't know
who wrote that joke in the scrubs writer's room, but
I'm very proud of him. But actually becomes a nice
moment with the January. It feels like it's the first
moment where he genuinely thanks me. Yeah, sure, and then

(32:35):
I thank him and he goes, get your hand off.
Then it's back to Yeah, Turk smax Elliott on the ass. Now,
I have a question about that. That's clearly a Turk fantasy.
Do other characters often have fantasies besides g D, Yeah,
it happens that we've had this conversation before. Yeah, occasion,

(32:57):
it's not it's not often, but it's occasional. Occasional one
of one of the other cast members will fantasize something.
So you're still Turkey is still fucking Elliott? Dude? Have
you ever had a sex dream about anyone? Of course,
But I'm saying that after you had the sex dream
about said person, what happened? I thought about them the

(33:21):
next day, And that's clearly what's happened with Turk. He's
he's staring at Elliott longingly and then he fantasizes that
she's bending over and Sarah. By the way, Sarah really
leaned into the naughties in this, I mean, I feel
like Sarah Chalk, the actress, often plays like the goody
two shoes girl, and now in this they were like,
we need you to just be randy and crazy and

(33:45):
and she was like okay, because she's like bending over
and putting her butt in the air. And see this
is this this, this whole episode is like a temptation
by the dark side. Man. It's like it's it's even
the conversations that we're having right now about about about
the episode or everything is turning towards you know, things

(34:07):
that we're trying to not talk about, and I think
we need to just let it decide and say, this
is the episode that we talk about this ship because
what you just said, Look, I can't I don't want
to combat what I think that Turk definitely still after
the day was over and had gone on into being

(34:30):
married to uh Carla. There were times where he was like,
let me go to the mental rolodex. And there was
that time where I fantasized about Elliott. Uh you know
what I mean, on times when him and Carla aren't
on the same page, you know what I mean. I
definitely feel like, you know, I feel like that's what

(34:52):
fantasies are for. I feel like that's what's supposed to
happen if you if when you get jealous, Like if
Casey told you, oh my god, babe, I had this
incredible sex dream about some celebrity, would you be jealous? Yeah? Absolutely,
But I would think she would be jealous about me
having sex dreams about someone, know. I mean, like, that's
the thing, man, this whole episode is like the fact

(35:13):
that Turk decided to tell Elliott about the dream that's
crossing the line right there. Are you supposed to keep
that to yourself? Man, You're not supposed to go on
into that, you know, and especially the person. I mean,
who would ever tell the person? You told the person
and then and then told her to keep it a secret,
like and don't tell Carla? Like come on, man, what
do you what do you What are you trying to

(35:34):
get out of this? What is it that you're going for?
I think the person isn't threatening. It's it's one thing
like if you're if you're if your girlfriend was like
I had a sex dream about someone and it was
kind of funny, and it wasn't someone that you would
necessarily feel like jealous or something. Be one thing, I'd
be jeous like anyone, I'd be jealous. I think i'd
be jealous of anyone though that Actually Carla has a
sex dream about Sam Lloyd, and I don't think she

(35:56):
would tell Turk because Turk would definitely be like, wait
a second, you have you have feelings for Sam the lawyer,
I mean for the lawyer. You know what I mean.
So keep it to yourself. That's the message we're telling
you here at fake Doctors. If you dream about having
a sex dream that someone that isn't your partner, maybe
just keep it to yourself right now. If you're not

(36:18):
don't have a partner, and you're trying to start something,
go for yours man. Shoot, that's that's that's that's a
good pickup line, like, hey, I had a sex dream
about you. Some people want to hear that. Ship I'm
gonna be honest with Okay, let me let me just say,
let me just say this, and this is why, this
is why I disagree with what you just said. If
I was a single man, and let's say, let's say impossible,

(36:43):
but I and cases first thing she ever said to
me when we met was I had a sex dream
about you last night that she would work on me
of course, So then what are you talking about. Nobody
wants to hear that. I think. I don't know, maybe
it's different coming from a woman. I just feel like
if a man's pick up line to a woman was

(37:06):
you know, I had a sex dream. But I mean
it be like creepy. It depends on who the woman is.
There is that too, there we go and how and
when and how far into our relationships. Just feels like
it just feels like it really steps has the potential
to step into inappropriate territory unless you have a good

(37:26):
relationship in your clothes and you can yeah, or if
you just want to shoot your shot. I just think
it's about if you want to shoot your shot, I
think it's a bad shot to take. I think it's
a horrible like some and some people don't have filters
and they're like, I'm gonna shoot my shot. I know
exactly what to say. No, good, good luck with that one.
Just be prepared to accept the rejection. Yeah and okay,

(37:52):
but no no, okay, So now right, well that's at work.
We're talking about it work and stuff like that. Well
I'm just talking about in life. I think it's a
pretty stupid shot to take. If that's your shot. Now,
let's say you guys are grooving and you and you
smooth a little and then you're like, hey, can I
tell you something kind of embarrassing? But since we're kissing, Um,
I've had the craziest dream about you like that. That's different. No,

(38:17):
I think this is to take. I didn't say it
was the right shot. I just said, unless you want
to shoot your shot, and this is this is your
these I don't think it's wrong too uh to ask
somebody out on a date, or to express your feelings
to someone. I would never but but there's definitely a

(38:41):
right way and a well not There's definitely a way
to do it that will get the attention that you
are looking for, and there's a way to, you know,
get the attention that you're not looking for. And I
feel like, I feel like, go for your was period

(39:06):
learned how to dismount this conversation. I don't let's talk
about the Germans. Let's talk about the Germans. There's a
lot of I mean, probably the gift I see most
throughout the creation of gifts is the left balloons Dance
with Me and the German. Yes, now people love that balloons.

(39:27):
You know why I love that song. I love that
song because John Forte made the remake Bah bah Ba,
Me and my left the dough with the money we
got the black stays hot. That that that says it

(39:47):
that then it something's out there that yeah, that yeah,
that was that was well, it was back in the
day when everybody was sampling something and John Torte had that.
That's how that's my introduction to that song. I didn't
know that song before that. Well, this is the German version,

(40:09):
and there's some really funny stuff. Now, obviously if you
watch the show, you know that Sarah speaks German very well,
and there's very funny stuff about these these two actors
um on scrubs Wicki It says viewers fluent in German
have noted that Sarah Chalk actually speaks much better German
in the episode than the German characters, and then they

(40:32):
say neither of the actors playing the Mueller or Mueller
or whatever his brothers actually spoke German. Sore In heller
Up is Danish and while Ingo Newhouse has a German
name and was born in Germany he grew up in America.
Both mostly deliver their lines phonetically with multiple grammatical errors.
So I thought that was funny that Sarah, who speaks

(40:53):
German really well. Um, I don't know why the hell
they couldn't find two guys who were fluent in German
in Hollywood, and but I guess they couldn't. And Sarah's
German is way better than the two actors. Don't you
think that's funny? It would be even funnier, is it?
The two guys, uh pulled one over on the casting

(41:14):
directors and pretended that they were speaking German and the
audition and they got right. And then when they got
there and they're doing this ship and neither one of
them is reacting, They're like, there's a moment where it's like, oh,
we're on the safe. It's like when I told you
I took all of those dance classes last week, I
mean last episode, I only took like two or three
dance classes and that was enough to put it on

(41:35):
my resume. So I imagine those guys, like I fluid
in German and really all they could speak were a
few actors always do that. They're like, can you ride
horseback well, and they're like, sure, sure, I have been
on a horse right. The real answer is did I
get the job? Yeah? You know what I mean. It's

(41:56):
so hard to get a job as an actor. Then
when someone's like, Okay, great audition. You do speak German fluently? Right? Absolutely?
Sure I do. Because you're like, we'll worry about that later.
We'll worry about that horseback riding later. Yeah, I'll get
we'll get to that part. That's that's when you call
your friend up right away. All right, I need to
teach me everything you know about German, everything you know.
I remember when I was a kid. I was up

(42:17):
for a part as a kid, and they were like
it was to be on a hockey team. And they
were like, you play hockey, right, And I'm like, yes,
I do. I love hockey. I love all the positions. Um, yeah,
so I I Anyway, I just think it's funny that
of all the actors in Hollywood, they they found two guys.

(42:39):
Now we wouldn't know, of course, unless you speak German.
Another funny thing about this is Scrubs was very popular
in Germany, so they had to figure out, well, if
all the act think about it, if all the actors
in the show are are dubbed in German in Germany.
What do you do with this this bilingual moment? So
it says that in the German translation of the episode,

(43:02):
the Germans are Danes and Elliott speaks Danish. Oh wait,
so hold on then, so so no, no, it's just
it's just how they dubbed it, you know, because in Germany,
I believe they dubbed they know subtitle. So the point
is is that, Okay, so in the German version, everyone's German,
so you can't have a bit with the guy not
speaking the language everyone speaking. So they just dubbed that

(43:23):
section as as Danish. You know, I should have dubbed
it as American. That would have been funny. Yeah, I
guess ka ka ka ka kulda kida kid depend on
that note. Yeah, we're gonna go to break. We got
someone coming in. We don't know who it is, but
they're coming in. Hold. Let's hope this guest is better, Joel.

(43:46):
I mean, it was a horrible, horrible, horrible hold on, guys, guys,
let's not say horrible horrible, not the usual fake doctor
real friend. Well, you know, I saw a lot of
our a lot of our listeners comments, and I really agreed.
They were like, that was cringe. Why what's wrong with

(44:07):
that woman? Guys, that's bullying. Man, There's nothing wrong with
that woman. She's got her own life, yo. She was
doing her She took a slot from someone who's campaigning.
We had that one guy on he writes every day,
and she took a slot and something she wasn't interesting.
I'm just saying I don't think it was horrible. I
just think it was not the fake doctor's real friend

(44:29):
call that we're used to. I don't like it when
our guests are cringeing. I mean, there was talk for
a second about should we just cut it out? But
I wanted to just leave it so that people know
that we don't really like like, even when things don't work,
we want to like just show it. But we could
have just cut it out. It was so cringe. Joel,
did you slam the mug on the ground? Good? Thank you?

(44:52):
Send her the pieces. Speaking of mugs, yeah, a lot
of merch, A lot of merch coming to merch up,
y'all all right, so check it out. Wait, just the
merches up. By the way. By the time this airs,
the there will be a T shirt up. Masks are back, yeah,
mugs are restocked, T shirts are in there. I want

(45:14):
you guys to know. I know we've promised a lot
of wacky ideas from merchant, and some of that's coming.
Wash claws, beach towels with me and Donald's faces on
our coming. But just to kind of get the store
up and running, we've just got some standard stuff. The
T shirt you'll see is is our logo. But I
don't want you to saying like, oh, but what about
all the wacky stuff you promised in time we gotta

(45:34):
open up the store. I don't know about the doc
leo T shirt, probably won't clear legal, but um, unless
we just do the we do the leo astrological sign
and only the insiders will know. And no also and
no also this yo, what if we did wait wait Donald, wait,
if we did, as I was saying, this, that is nuts.

(45:55):
And uh, that is subliminable, subliminal out. That is subliminal, subliminable,
like subliminable. Better it sounds like mush mouth much mouth
now because it would be I can't do it subliminable.

(46:17):
Let me just finish what the shirt would be. It
would be the word I would say, I Apostophe d eyed.
Then there'd be the icon of like a dock, like
a traditional dock on a lake, and then the leo
as leo. No, man, I don't want to do that.
I don't want to do that at that. I don't
want to do that. But I will say this, I
willna make one. I'm gonna make a one off for me.

(46:38):
I will say this. Speaking of one offs, I will
say this. Uh, we're not gonna make a bunch of
these things now. So this is a lot of this
stuff is limited. We're gonna try and come up and
get it while it's hot, as get it while it's hot.
We're gonna try and come out with new things. Like
it's a season, so this season might not be next

(46:59):
season to and this season's mask might not be next
season's mask. Yeah, I'll tell you what next season. I'll
tell you what next season's mug is. Daniel and Joel.
I love that. I love that. Yeah, but you guys
got to do the same post that we're doing. And yeah,
you guys gotta snug it on. You're gonna have to
have to do where masks are photoshop guys, can you guys,

(47:23):
realize when when, when the apocalypse is over, we're gonna
we're gonna all be able to be in a studio
together doing it. It's gonna be so much more fun.
Video of the first time we meet like came, Oh
my gosh, I can't wait. You know what, I'm excited
about the studio to be stacked with like kick cats
and twigglers. Get this fish and chips off my hips. Yeah,

(47:48):
no doubt. But when you go to the studio to record,
that's where all the good snacks are. Donald fret at
all our studio. Oh my gosh, that was a place.
It was a guaranteed. One of my British friends said
to me, you know, Zach, you don't just because you're here,
it doesn't mean that you have to have fish and
chips for every meal? Oh did you eat like that?

(48:10):
And I said, why why would I eat something that's
not fishing? Ship I was. I was in New York.
I had a bagel with locks and cream cheese every
single morning because it was like, why am I not
gonna do? Why am I not running wrong? And we
don't have fish and chips on every corner here in
Los Angeles? All right? We're gonna go to break and
we're to come back with a caller that is gonna
blow your fucking mind, and we're bad. But look, man,

(48:42):
during the break we were talking about The Mandalorian and
stuff like that. I'm gonna tell you guys something right now.
The Mandalorian is good, and I'm really excited about it.
But there's one show that I'm equally excited about, and
that is Cobra Kai season three. Dude, I'm telling you
all right now, man, y'all can sit here and say
what you want to say. But me and the millions
of people that are enjoying this little, tiny show that

(49:04):
is a little bit nostalgic and makes you feel like
you're watching Uh the Karate Kid all over again. Cobra
Kai is so much fun. This is my second recommendation
of that. And they always did. They keep cutting back
to the original movies. There's a bit of the original
movies in this. There's a lot of the original movie
in this, but it takes place however many years to

(49:28):
you know, when Danny won uh the the California Karate Championship.
It takes place, however many years it is to now.
It takes place to them, and it doesn't follow Daniel
LaRusso really it follows Johnny. He's in it, but he's like,
he's like the bad guy dude, he's like the dick.

(49:49):
What about Pata Pa Maria at pat Marina passed away,
and um, what about other characters? So Johnny is in it,
elizabetha the tease that she might up in the next
but look, I'm telling you right now, man, it's about
Johnny and him trying to restart Cobra Kai and it

(50:09):
is fucking so much fun. It's like got the just
the right amount of cheese, just the right amount of nostalgia,
just the right amount of comedy that you sit there
and you laugh and enjoy yourself. So if you are
a karate Kid fan, the original Karate Kid fan, and
it's executive produced by Will Smith, so how could you
hate on it? Y'all? Will Smith's involved. They're gonna do

(50:34):
a fresh Prince bel Air reunion, and uh and and
he and and the aunt that hate each other they
made up. That's great, that's great, But look if the
comment on that last time that came up, do you remember, Joel,
I'm not. If you are a fan, it's like when
Howard it's like on Howard Stern whenever no mercy, mercy,

(50:57):
it's for the week. It's like on Howard Stern whenever
mobsters come up, and like talking about mobsters, he always
changed something. He's like, I don't know anything about that,
changing the subject. And that's how Donald is about the week.
Aunt what's her name? Conflict? Shout out the guest. Yes,
please thank you, Johnny Lawrence speaking of John Daniel LaRusso,

(51:22):
all right, here we go, Here we go, Joel Big
John John Broadband, How are you, sir, Hi Big John,
Hi John, Hi John, good, very good. How are you guys.
Welcome to the program. We're very happy to have you.
Thanks so much for having me. Tell us about yourself.

(51:44):
Where are you, what do you do? What's life like
being John Broadban? Um, I'm in a town called Nelson
in New Zealand. Um. Whoa the Lord of the Rings
actually home with the one that was made um and

(52:04):
but that was the ring to rule them all? So
you know, hey, definitely there's actually like a shopping town.
We can go like check it out and buy a
copy of it if you want. Um. Yeah, it's awesome.
Um and yeah, just uh uh I love watching your show.
We love listening to podcasts. This is exciting. We've never

(52:25):
had a New Zealand caller. What time is it there?
It's probably Wednesday at some time on Wednesdays brick Wednesday,
nine o'clock in the morning. Wow, okay, how yeah, so sorry,
I'm not drinking. I'm gonna go to wake up. No, well,
we're not drinking to day either. Zach isn't drinking today.
I'm not drinking to day. I was not drinking it.

(52:46):
If we if we don't drink, we we've decided that
we're gonna take a little break from the drinking on
the podcast. Yeah, it's they were they involved too much
editing when we drink? John? What John? John? What's tomorrow? Like?
What's tomorrow? I wish I wish I could tell you
the lot of numbers um oh man, and I wish

(53:07):
you could tell you this guy would clear for you guys.
I'm really worried about that. I hope everything than well.
You guys experienced that too, didn't you When the fires
were happening in Australia, didn't New Zealand get some of
that too? Good call? Actually three years ago, two years ago,
my whole town was on fire, and uh, it was
a bit scary for a bit. Yeah, I didn't know
that a bit of trivia that when a horrible fires

(53:29):
wrapping in Australia that it was happening in New Zealand
as well. Yeah I was. Yeah, it was a pretty
long story. Um. The the end result though it was
one fire was started by farmer, but there's like some
copycat annoying person let some other ones and he was
caught eventually, But he was caught by some nudists that
are nudist camp. They probably wheel barreled him to the ground. Definitely,

(53:56):
that's a good It's not only a good way to
have sex, it's a good way to tackle someone noted. Yeah,
write that down on your notes there. Um, I don't
want anyone who's listening to this to think that we
don't teach you things you can you can wheel borrow
in multiple situations. We've already we've already fixed John's slide
yet even we didn't even have Yeah, John, when all

(54:17):
else fails, we'll borrow it. Um, John, what do you
do down there in New Zealand? Um? Full time, I'm
sort of a I see you guys, slash p a
slash urban for a realtor. On the side, I make
T shirts actually inspired by the podcast and you guys
going on about wet I thought of a design, I

(54:37):
don't think. Yeah, oh, I hope it's something one I
just mentioned. You see that. Don't back no, no, no,
you're oh yeah, oh that's great. We do's a wet
ask Wait, hold it up, Hold it up, John, So

(54:59):
just you listening at home. It's a it's an icon
of some water droplets, an icon of a donkey or ass,
and an icon of a cat. I would love to
have one of those if you want to send it
to my way. But even listening, we listen to that
song a lot in my house. Um, it really gets
us going. And you know what my part is. You

(55:20):
know what my part is? Then? The song is I
want to choke. I want you to touch that dangling
thing in the back of my throat. That's it gives
me every time I laughed so hard, every time I
laughed so hard, every time I want to choke, I
want you to touch that dangling thing in the back
of my throat. Do you think she wrote that? Did
she write this? I hope she did. Oh, please, God

(55:41):
make me. When you look at the Whop writers are,
they're like four hundred people. I'd like to think that
I've never looked at the who wrote Daniel Daniel, Danlon
Joel find out for us. I want to know how
many writers are on the Whop because the line doesn't
get you every time. It's hilarious. It's it's hilarious, as

(56:01):
you say, but I really want to think that she
wrote it. She She wants you to touch that dangling
thing and know what it's called, throat. I know what
it's called. You. I'm a fake doctor from now one.
It's called the dangling thing. It's called the uvula. I
want to choke. I want you to touch that dangling
thing in the back on my throat. Now wasting John.

(56:24):
I'm glad you just came on because I have an
idea for a T shirt that we can't really mass market.
Um um yeah. I think it should say I apostrophee
d i'd and then an icon like you've done on
yours of a dock, and then and then the leo
astrological sign. Okay, so just like yours, yours is perfect,

(56:46):
but with those three things instead of yours and if
and if you if you send those to me and
Donald um um, we will make sure that your your
T shirt Instagram is fully promoted much appreciable, and make
sure you make an xx cl for Donald because he's
a large man. I don't mean fat, Donald, I mean

(57:08):
muscular you have I'm not I'm not worried about how
you perceive my body. The look. No, you have broad shoulders,
you're a large man. Sure X x L. However you
want to look at it. You could give me a
triple X if you got it too, I'll sleep in it.
How about sizing John's in it? John? John? Do you

(57:29):
find what have you ever getting mad at me? Yeah?
Because I'm trying to talk to John about my shirt. Okay,
go ahead, get your doc LEO T shirt conversation finished. John,
Don't you find that sizing T shirts is very hard
because no one thinks they're the size they are. When
I made I wish I was here merched through the
Kickstarter thing we did. I it was a nightmare because

(57:51):
I don't I didn't know that doing merch was so hard.
Eventually we hired a company to help us. But people
don't think they're the size they are and then you
send a shirt to New Zealand and it takes fucking
a month and they get it and they're like, what
the fund is this? This isn't a women's petite small
And you're like, I don't know your fucking size, bro, Yes,

(58:16):
very very hard. I used to sell them at the
Saturday market. We have your in town and I have
a lot of people ask if they can throw the
bone and they're like, damn sure, Um, I probably couldn't
do that. Now days is over where you probably can't
ever try clothes on again. No, you can try clothes bullshit, man,

(58:38):
get out of here. Maybe four, but who's gonna let
you go try? Uh? No, one wants you to go
in the store and put your fucking COVID all over
the shirt and there like sorry, I need a petite
and then you fucking now that ship is over anyway.
I don't. I can't. I can't imagine that happening. I
hate a songwriters. Okay, belt Bell callis al Mansar, Megan

(59:03):
p Well that's her real name, and call us al
Manazar is Cardiv's real name. Megan Pete I'm assuming is Megan.
And then James Foyd, the third Austin Owens and Frank Rodriguez.
So we don't know if James Foyd the Third came
up with the hit the you you joke. No, that's
not what she says. She says, I want to choke.

(59:24):
I want you to touch that dangling thing in the
back of my throat. Oh man, oh man, it's such
a it's the lyrics, it's such poetry. You know, the
sixth the seventeenth century had Shakespeare. We got that recup
truck pot as well. Yes, Joel goes, yeahs um, yeah,

(59:51):
it's a great song. If we were allowed to play
music for you here, we would, we would play it.
But all we have is Donald singing it. That's all
we're allowed to do. Donald. If you cover it, like fully,
cover it and Dan can help you with the When
somebody did cover it, somebody did cover They did an
eighties version of the wop song and it is so dope.

(01:00:12):
It's it's tight, dude. It's like, Oh, I wish we
were allowed to play that. Yeah, I mean maybe we can.
Maybe we can if we contact the person and it's
and it's a cover, maybe we can. I don't know, Well,
I don't know if we have enough time. Okay, UM,
so sorry, let's focus John. So far you're beating our
last guest by far, but that was not a hard
feed to achieve. Look how excited you. I want the

(01:00:37):
audience to know that we actually have a guest that
seems pleased to be on the show, which is very exciting.
Do you have a question for us related to anything
from music? Um, have a question for you, Zack, and
do or don't all go with you up towards um Zack,
if you were to write a musical, what would it

(01:00:57):
be about and how would you incorporate still involving a
zip blood? Oh my god, everyone's now making fun of
zip line episode us. Um, I do love a good
zip line joke. I don't know if you know that
I directed that episode. Yeah, true story, first one and
very tricky to direct yourself sliding down the zip line,
but I managed to do it. Um. You know, I'm

(01:01:20):
just gonna say the first thing that comes to my
mind because someone asked. I think it was Josh Charles,
the actor who put on Twitter like, what's a great
movie that should be a musical? Because of course now
they're making every theater is entirely on on pause. For
the moment, but everyone's making movies into a theater. And

(01:01:42):
and because it was Josh Charles who said it, my
brain instantly went to Dead Poets Society, which I thought
would be a which is a movie I really really
love and it's it's it's probably one of my favorite movies.
And I thought, wow, that would be really conducive to
be a musical. Now that's not really original idea, but
since you asked me, and I just put on Twitter,

(01:02:03):
I replied to Josh Charles that that should be and
then I got a lot of attention because we were like, yeah,
it's a good idea. So there there's my answer. If
it were up to me, if if if I could
do a musical, making one up is too hard. That's
that's like a conundrum, dude. That's like, that's one of
those things where you it takes forever to write music,

(01:02:25):
to write story, to write all of that stuff takes forever.
So but if I could make a musical out of
a movie, it would definitely be The Princess Bride. I
think that would be a funny, uh musical. I can't
believe that's not in the I mean, that's such like
everybody's favorite movie. I can't believe it's it's probably got
to be in the works, right, that would be amazing.
I think that's uh. And and and if you could

(01:02:47):
somehow still keep that type of humor in the movie,
I mean in the musical as well, that would be
great without losing you know, stop that rhyming. I mean it.
Anybody want to peanut if you can freaking still some
I'll keep that ship. Where am I despair? You know?
I would love to hear a musical number about wrote

(01:03:08):
in some unusual size. I'm just saying, okay, there we are,
so now, John, next question for Donald, let's go alright.
Star Wars question? Um oh, jesus, you guys, transit to
my two loves. I love musicals and I love Star Wars.
Um So it's our baby, it's our story. Our son
lives in New Zealand. Um So when Disney bolt st

(01:03:34):
I bet you love weed too. I dried someone Canada.
But you can't get weed in New Zealand. I don't know.
It would be hard down that they could get weed
in New Zealand. That ship's a weed. It grows anywhere. Yeah,
that's true. All right, go ahead, when when Disney Bolt
Star Wars and the and it declared all of the

(01:03:56):
expanded Universe as non canon. Um what book a comic
series or doing us stuff did you miss? Like? Did
you feel satisful wow joels? Like on the Vergi teers um,
I was very happy that the use of all was
out of the whole thing. I wasn't a fan of that.

(01:04:17):
I didn't like that. I didn't like the fact that
something from outside of the I like the stories of
the Sith and the Jedi and this new enemy that
comes from out of nowhere and is you know, resistant
to the force and all of that stuff. It just
seemed like, all right, so we have this galaxy that
seems to have a balance, let's funk up the galaxy.

(01:04:40):
How can we suck it up. Let's just throw some
impossible enemy at them? And you know what I mean?
And and I thought that was a cop out. So
I didn't like that. My uh, the one stuff that
I had. The things that I did like were all
of the stories about Han Solos kids and lay As
kids and and Luke's kid, and you know what I mean,

(01:05:00):
and and and and even the stories of their grandchildren
and stuff like that. And they're great great grandchildren and
stuff like that. All of that stuff was really cool.
Uh stories too. That made a lot of sense, you
know what I mean. It made sense that Leia had
twins and you know, one turn to the dark side
and you know one because that's what you wanted for

(01:05:23):
Luke and Lea to happen. You know what happened to
Luke and Leia. One turns to the dark side and
then the other one has to go kill their brother.
Like it's it's the next version of father and son
or mother and daughter. And I just liked I liked
hearing about that lineage. Now that being said, that does
get a little bit redundant after a while, and nobody
wants to hear about you know, uh, the Skywalkers and

(01:05:46):
the Solos forever and ever and ever, you know what
I mean. So alright, let me finish. I'm not done,
not done, Just wait a second. So that being said,
I like the Old Republic stuff. I think maybe that's
the next direction that they should go. I know they're
doing this high Order and all of that, and Yoda
is going to be in it. I think that's the

(01:06:08):
right way to go. I think there's something special about
seeing a bunch of red lightsabers clash against green, blue,
and purple. There's something if you could find a way
to do brave part with Jedi, it would be all right.

(01:06:28):
That feels That feels like you did a great job
answering it. Donald, Um, I felt satisfied. I'm sure everyone
that loves Star Wars feels satisfied. Joel, for example, yelled testify.
Um um Now, John, it's uh, it's time for everybody's
favorite news segment, fix your life. As you well know
from being a fan of the show, Donald and I

(01:06:50):
are pretty great. I think exceptional at fixing people's lives.
Your problem could be big or small. We can handle it.
So John, Yes, it's time to fix your life. Oh okay,
So I have actually a dog problem. Um. She's on

(01:07:11):
the road here right now because she's so yeah, just
just walking about. Just hire you guys. She's beautiful. Yeah,

(01:07:32):
go ahead. I can answer any dog question. I'm a
dog master. So yeah, she's eight years old and she's
part we've had a wait. We've moved down here five
years ago from Auckland, and in that time she's been fine.
We've been able to leave her in the yard when
we go to work. And then just a month ago,

(01:07:52):
she decided to escape one day and just ran around
the neighborhood in it. It was very stressful. It took
us a whole day to find her. Um, and she
dug out under our gates. So we concreted that so
she couldn't do it again. But she still tries, and
so we we don't trust it at all on her
own and I've been taking it a doggy day here
and just trying to see what we can do. We're

(01:08:16):
gonna try or get on her own today, but I'm
just not John, do you do you run her enough?
Because I only know this from watching Caesar Milan, which
who I love. If you if you get a dog
and you're new to owning a dog, obviously you're not,
but I'm talking to other people watching like every episode
of Caesar is is really good education because you know,
obviously it's it's edited to make him look like like

(01:08:39):
a god, but um, but it is helpful and I
know that one thing he does. I remember an episode
where a dog was constantly escaping and part of the
problem was like the dog just wanted to sprint, and
you know he would do things like, you know, getting
on rollerblades and running with the dog, or getting on
a bicycle and sprinting alongside the dog. But do you
think the dogs is getting enough? Are you exhausting the

(01:08:59):
dog because a big dog like that needs to probably run. Yeah. Yeah,
we actually to take a to play at the park
before work every morning and after work as well. Um. Well,
then you know, John, it really comes down to having
having to ask yourself. Am I a good put? Yeah?

(01:09:22):
Is there is there? John? I need you to put
yourself put yourself on the dog's head. The dog wants
to get away from me. You're welcome, John, Thank you, John. No,

(01:09:42):
that's interesting. I am not a dog whisper and I
am not a vet and so I don't know what
goes on in dog's minds. I will say I have
a dog, and you know, I feel like dogs like
to be disciplined and uh and I don't mean with
the hand or anything like that. But given given them
chores to do, it's not just about running them. It's

(01:10:04):
also about making them do things. And they enjoyed doing
that type of stuff. So you know, what are you
saying he should do, like like errands around the house,
like maybe mowing like I don't know, do you do stay?
Sit down? Roll over and and things like that. I
don't you know. Those are things to occupy a dog's

(01:10:24):
mind as well. Do you have a crate? No? So
we tried to create trainer, but she's she's a riscuer
from um we call the yeah, um, so like the pound.
I guess. But now this makes this makes even more sense.
So it's not necessarily you maybe where she came from before? Yeah,
you know, and and this is just something psychological. Yeah, yeah,

(01:10:49):
I'm not sure. But have you tried, I mean, have
you tried working with a trainer at all? I had
a leddy sort of try to give me advice. I
might need to get back in touch with it. All right,
we'll get I can touch with the trainer. John, you're welcome.
You're welcome. You're welcome, Donald say it, you're welcome. Well,
I I just I don't feel like I fixed his life.
I feel like I've I've put him on a path. Yea, yeah,

(01:11:12):
we put him on a path. We film on a path.
We said watch Caesar because there's there is an episode
about him escaping dog and Caesar fixes that guy's problem.
You have three choices. You can watch Caesar, you can
contact the dog trainer, or you can take a good
look at yourself, look at the man in the marriage
and why why are animals trying to run away from you?

(01:11:34):
What is it that you're doing that I'm asking you.
I'm asking you to look in the mirror. I'm asking
you to make a change. No message could have been
any clearer. John given you the dog has given you
the message. If you want to John, if you want
to make yourself a better dog owner, you gotta look

(01:11:56):
at yourself and then make the change. Who no, no, no, no, no,
na a great song. All right, we gotta go John.
This has been awesome. You're gonna get a mug. It
will probably take four years to get there. Can I
just quickly throw back to just one previous episode, we
talked about North African American players in the NHL UM

(01:12:19):
at the upcoming draft in October. There's a kid called
Quentin Byfield who's probably gonna go second overall. So that's
another another good But is he like the Savior? Is
he the Savior? Is he? Is he the great Black
hype of hockey? Um? He's comparable to a guy called
if Malcolm replaced with the Pittsburgh Penguins, is he comparable

(01:12:40):
to Wayne Gretzky, that's the question. Is he comparable to
Sydney Cross? Like, these are the questions that I'm asking
because if he can, if he's got to change the
sport like some of the white players have changed the NBA.
Now we're talking, but if it's just some black dude

(01:13:01):
coming in because he's black and the NHL needs black
saying that he's gonna go second in the draft, what
the hell are you talking about. It's pretty high and
there are a lot of it. They're a lot. I'm
not trying to hate, and I hate when I hate
because we're hating. It's for suckers, and I do that
a lot sometimes and we have to edit that ship out.
But I'm gonna say this right now. I'm gonna say
this right now. There have been a lot of NBA

(01:13:22):
players that went high in the draft thinking that they
were gonna be some great uh savior and turned out
to be a bust. So just because this dude's going
number two doesn't I'm not saying anything just because this
is this because dudes going number two doesn't mean he's

(01:13:43):
gonna make it as an NHL player, So that's great.
It's great that he's on his way. But we shall
see John. I'm rooting for him. I'm rooting for him
to be wonderful. Thank you so much for coming on
the show. And he's North American. He's not African American, right,
he's like from Canada. Yeah, I know it anyway, Thank you.

(01:14:03):
I can't wait to get my uh my WOP T shirt.
I can't wait to get my I doct Deo T shirt.
And you're gonna get a mug. I don't know how
long it takes to get things to New Zealand, but
I'm looking for it. By the time you're forty or
forty five, when you guys come to the World Tour
and come down here, just bring it then and we'll
take you to the Lord of Perfect got we definitely
got to do New Zealand. I would love to go

(01:14:24):
to locations. Yeah, well, I don't necessarily want to see
the Lord of the Rings. I want to see like
yo is word word life, the Madi people. I want
to uh the There's a bunch of history there that
I'm fascinated behind. So I would love to check that out.

(01:14:44):
All right, Well we'll be on it. You'll second. We're
gonna be on a tour bus with with all four
of our faces on on the side. It's gonna be
really really exciting. Um all right, we gotta go, John,
thank you so much. Thanks again, ladies and jenn Im
gonna give it up. Refreshing to have a guest that

(01:15:06):
was at least interested in talking to us who it
was good. Um, well we're almost done, but let's talk
about Leslie Baker the Office on Stanley from the Office,
who I love and have put in like the short
film I made he was in which I was here.

(01:15:27):
I always think that guy is so funny and uh,
and here he is. This was before the Office. Obviously
he wouldn't be doing the shelf if it wasn't before
the Office. And there he is. He and he has
a cameo. He only has one line in which he
outs to Carla that you've been talking about having sex

(01:15:47):
with Elliott during surgery. Yep, not me, but does Yeah,
this is my point. I think the audience knows how
to delineate between you and your character. I'm just gonna
say this is the point that I'm trying to make
when you keep secrets, and but you keep secrets from
your spouse about sex, they always find out. She always

(01:16:07):
comes out. It always comes out. So your best bet
is to not tell anyone you had a sex fantasy.
Keep that ship to yourself, and then you'll never be
in a situation never. Yeah. Um, I laughed hard. When
Sam lloyd At says something, he goes, I just have

(01:16:27):
that one dream where I hold his head in the
water until the last bubble goes, and then there's like
a long pause and he goes telling you about killing Kelso.
That's all all. That's his only dream that he has.
Then Kelso walks by and says something, ye go get
me something A right, yeah, I'm still waiting on that

(01:16:48):
whatever it is, and he was oreos or something, and
then I really I forgot that there was a lift
balloons callback with Amy smart and and the parents dancing.
I never, I totally forge out we did that. That
was funny. I have a question why didn't Jad take
her aside at the restaurant. Why did he run up
to the table with these two people there. It's clear
that she's there with these two people too, like that

(01:17:10):
the shot is him running up to a table of
her and people. Why not be like, hey, you know what,
can I talk to you for a second? And why
would he Why would he do that in front of anyone?
He talks about having sex at her husband's funeral. Yeah,
like moron. They don't want to hear that. It's probably
the reason I'm assuming she's not back. I think I

(01:17:33):
think he ruined she done. Does she have another one?
I forgot? I don't know. But she was so great
on the episode. She was so great in the show. Yeah,
when she's on your back, When she's on your back
and he's like, I know you got I know you've
got taste comb a wife in your mind, You're like, no,
I don't, and good jumps on your back and he goes,
yeah you do, and then you nutg her off and
she goes, I don't. She must be on a show.

(01:17:54):
I don't. She's on a Star Girl actually, which is
a Berlante show and the arrow verse she believe it
or not, plays a mother now of a teenage girl.
That's how that's how far we've come. That's how old
we are. Well I canna say old, I'll say that's
how far we've come. Now, did a great job on

(01:18:16):
her arc I she's still a very good actress and
she she does great on the show. I'm a fan
of the show, and you know, um, and then that
baby at the end, I just have to say, as
someone who who appreciates an adorable baby, they cast that baby, well, oh,
all babies are cute. No, that's not true. And this

(01:18:39):
baby no, no, no, no, all babies are cute, even
even when they're born. Look, man's I can say. I
didn't know it's controversial to say that some babies are
cute than other babies. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna
have a baby, yeah, and I'm gonna love it. I'm
not saying the parents don't think it's cute, but I'm
saying that there are. And you'll understand what I'm talking about.

(01:18:59):
I know that if it's my baby, no matter what
it looks like, I'm gonna think it's the cutest baby.
I'm just saying, clearly, they cast a particularly adorable baby
to smile at Johnny C and have him fall in
love and have his eyes Well at the end, Oh,
Joel just told me that she is back for another one.
She's back, So I knew him and then we have.
So we're getting close to being done with this season two. Guys,

(01:19:21):
I gotta tell you we got three more left. It
looks like, oh ship, So what happens? What happens then
after we finished season two, go right into season three?
Or are we going to take a break. Well, we
just took a break. Should we keep going? It's up
to you, man. I don't want the fans to stop
counting on us. I a lot of people rely on

(01:19:43):
us for for their for their week bi weekly smile.
I agree with that. I I don't want to let
anybody down. That's the last thing I want to do. Too.
We're working on Ryan Reynolds have had some some top
secret Yeah, I think we have a chance. I think
we have a chance that you know. I'm sorry. I
don't think he remembers, but I hope that he will

(01:20:05):
talk about it if and when we get him on
the show. But I did speak with him via email,
and uh, it's a work in progress. We'll see what happened.
Is um. So you think I should reach out to him?
You think I should reach out? No, I don't want
you to funk up any momentum. I've nain. Okay, you
might get drunk and dry hump him over zoom. No,

(01:20:27):
I'm not gonna get drunk and dry hump anybody over zoom.
I guess you could dry hump the camera. Well, did
you see the video of the dude in the middle
of the meeting on zoom and ah he thinks he
he uh blacks the camera out, and so he switches
over to his browser and you see him get up,

(01:20:49):
walk to the bathroom, go get lotion and toilet paper,
sets the toilet paper down, and sets the lotion down,
and they're all like, no, no, he goes, that's not
that's got to be a joke. Dude. I'm telling you,
that's not a joke. That's the most embarrassing thing I've

(01:21:11):
ever heard of my life. But and if it is
a joke, good, good coot girls, good jokes. Um all right, everybody,
we love you. We're back. We're back back. I'm back
in l A. Daniel's back in l A. We're all together.
Joel and I never left l A. I I listen,

(01:21:32):
l A gets a lot of ship out there. But
I gotta tell you, it's uh, even when it's smoky,
it's a beautiful place to live. It's great to be back. Yeah,
it is great to be back when you can. It's
always great to come home, you know what I mean.
I'm so happy that you guys made it home safely.
So I'm so happy that it went well. Daniel with
her parents. How did you meet? How did you meet? Hinge? Bumble?

(01:21:55):
Oh Hinge? What's the catch of Hinge? What's the hook?
The Hinge is Facebook Friends? So everybody you met match
with or everybody that you see on hinge, you have
a Facebook friend in common that your facebo. You need
to have one. And as a matter of fact, we
did oh more than hinge worked just one? It did?

(01:22:19):
You missed this whole app dating world. I'm I'm gonna
be honest with you. I it scares me just a little.
It was a scary process. I'll tell you what. I
had had several misfires. Well, yeah, I'm just gonna say.
I was gonna say. The only thing that I find
a little different about it is that you're dating somebody

(01:22:39):
that you don't really get to know. What do you do?
You want to date aust you just don't have to. Yeah,
that's the last time he went on a day is
craig List time. Jowell, are you using any of the
apps to find love? Not during quarantine because that just
seems wild to me. But what about chat? You could chat?

(01:23:00):
You could you could you? Could you do your game?
Shoot your shots? And I am in person data, I
suck at talking? What am I saying? What do I care?
I know? In person? Like? I'm what if you win
on Hinge or whatever one and you found someone who
you thought was attractive, who all they want to do
was talk about Star Wars and loved a gummy at night? Um,

(01:23:23):
you know this person might be out there. I'm sure
the person is out there. I would be terrible at
talking to them over the app. It wouldn't be there.
I have a question. Well, if you have your question, Joel,
if you're listening and you're interested in Joel, she's very
pretty and very funny. I have a question, but over apps,
is it okay to be like I had a crazy sextuary?

(01:23:48):
Not recommend, not recommend, not red, not recommended, So don't Joel?
You know, would be funny if you do develop a profile. Um,
I think we could blast out your profile eventually and
and we can all talk about the encounters you're having.
That sounds like quite an event. I'm gonna keep sliding
in the d m s. But who knows. That's how

(01:24:09):
you do it. Yeah, you know, you follow people, you
see who they follow. You get a rough idea of
their like I thought, opinions on the world, and then
you're just like, yo, we should hang and then do
you slide? So you'd be sliding into the Yeah. Yeah, Now,
um so if she's ready, great? Did they gotta be great? Okay,

(01:24:34):
so listen, if you're a hot, smart, intelligent destroyed my Instagram? Uh,
because she is a catch, I can't. I think she's
witty and smart and has a good job and very pretty.
I mean, I don't know what the hell's going on here, everyone, everybody,
let's play. Let's set up Joel with her dream person.

(01:24:57):
You love it? Donald? Yeah, and Donald and I and
Donald and I will officiate your wedding. Have you been
talking to my mother planning thing? All right? Um, we
gotta go. We've been going along. Oh my god, Joel,
I'm gonna laugh my ass off when you're freaking open
up with nothing, because that's just that's it's always hilarious.

(01:25:21):
Like I'll put up, I'll post something like my animation
and I'll look at you know, I look at what
the fans say if they like the animation and stuff
like that. And every now and then you get that
one that says hi or hello, Hello, you have to
actually have a thought and all right, fan, I don't
have any desire to partner with a fan that weird

(01:25:42):
to me out and there's like a weird power exchange
there they're not comfortable with. So don't try that, all right, listen,
she's getting giving you tips, so be real hello, don't
just say hi, don't just say hello, don't be like
you up right, none of that. Yeah, this can be fun.
I think this could be a new segment called find

(01:26:04):
Joel a Lover. No, it's Let's make Joel's Mama happy.
Oh you find Joel a Lover. It's time for another
edition of Let's make Joelle's Mother happy and find Joel
a Lover. I'm excited. I love being I love being
a what do you call it up? A matchmaker? I

(01:26:26):
love being a matchmaker, I said, Donald, Up, Look how
well that went. I'm married, I got kids. We still
don't got no air conditioning. On that note, thank you,
all for tuning in and Donald you may counters with
the beautiful numbers for Everybody Loves Blassic seven. Eight stories

(01:26:46):
about show we made about a bunch of nurses round you,
Here are yeah around you here Abvius Woch for you
on showiz and mm hmm