317: My Moment of Un-Truth

On this week's episode, Carla has a date, and it's not with Turk! In the real world, Donald shares his love of Gravitrax, we discuss holiday streaming movies, and we talk about naming nipples.

 

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hey, hey, Yeah, I gotta tell you something, man,
And I am so excited about this. And I don't
know anything about this company. I don't know anything about
what you know. All I know is it's working for
my kids, and it's got my kids off of video games,
and it's got me playing the ship too, and it's

(00:22):
really it's a lot of fun and everything. It's called
Gravia Tracks. Have you heard of it? I saw it
on Casey's Instagram and explain it to people who don't
know what it is. But I saw what Rocco built
and it was fucking awesome. Yeah, okay, So Gravia Tracks
is like a marble racing obstacle course slash. I want

(00:46):
to reminds you of like old school hot Wheels tracks
kind of like that also, but also like Lego also
because you have to build and it shows you pictures
of things you need to make the obstacle worse and
everything work. It's really awesome and the accessories that come
with it, you know, are very creative. Also. There's like

(01:08):
elevators and you know, trampolines and catapults and you know,
sling shot like crazy things like loop de loops, like
crazy things. And you get into it with your sons,
so you're like, you you don't feel like you're playing
something that's you know, it's cool because you're as interested
as he is. So you're actually playing with your kids
something that's fun for you both. All Right. When I

(01:30):
was a kid, Times Square has this place called Port Authority.
It's where all the buses come into New York City, right,
and growing up that place was like a freaking scary
ass you know, dirty. You know. They made a television
show about the neighborhood I grew up in, and it's
about pimps and prostitutes and crackheads and you know, the

(01:52):
beauty of forty second Street and where all the movie
theaters were, right, they made a television show about it. Anyway,
Or Authority had this thing and it had like a
bunch of uh pool h Q ball you know, balls
from you know, from the pool table, so like from
one all the way to was it twelve balls, right,

(02:13):
And they had a bunch of them and they created
something very similar to what Gravia Tracks is doing, and
it would but this thing made like music. And I
remember as a kid, people used to surround this thing
because it was like this clever contraption of you know, winding.
You know, if anybody out there remembers, uh, the sesame

(02:36):
street one, two, three, four or five six twelve, right
that remember how the cartoon went where it was like
a pinball machine, but then when you when you hit
the ball, it went inside one of the holes. And
then now the balls on a track and rolling all
around it. That's what graviha tracks is man, And it's amazing.

(02:56):
It's so much fun. It's so much fun. We have
so much fun with it. Kids have been doing it
for two dage straight without being on a television screen,
without you know, with it's just them and their mind
and their imagination and awesome. I just want to give
a shout out to them, uh and say yo, thank you.
I'm sure lots of parents are looking for any way

(03:18):
to have their kids be fascinated by something other than
video games absolutely or television. You know, it makes kids
have to use their brains. There's a lot of math involved,
you know, it's very specific in how things work, and
then you have to be creative with what you're given
in that realm. It's really awesome. That's awesome, all right,

(03:39):
everybody checked that out, Um, we got to talk about
wonder Woman, because I don't I really am confused about
wonder Woman. I don't know what the hell was going on.
And I know I'm speaking to three fans of superhero movies.
I don't ever like to disc anyone involved in creative
endeavors because it is so walking hard to make anything,

(04:01):
and thousands of people worked on this movie, and there's
so much talent. The actors are all amazing. I know,
the directors amazing. I just want to know from three
people who like these sort of things, what that was?
What a great question, Zach Joel, you go first, want

(04:23):
to talk about it? Uh? I feel like this is
the branded direction DC has chosen to go in where
they don't mind making these sort of like be heavy
camp films. But they're not for me. But the who
were they four? Because I was watching it going is

(04:46):
a kid gonna get any of this? No? I don't
think it's four children. It's four adults, specifically guys I
think who are really into like old school comics, which
didn't always have to make sense like the basis of
reality or even have like strunk structure. Now there's a
lot of great like classic comic books. But it's also
there was a genre of comics specifically for looking at

(05:09):
late eighties early nineties, where like the physics were off
and the body mechanics were way off, and there's like
no sense of reality and there's no sort of tie
to like, oh, we need a great American hero. And
it's not even you know, sixties cheesiness. It was just
like wild, extreme, like pumped up nineties kind of stuff.
And those fans have really clung to like that ideal

(05:29):
of superheroism. That's like what they really enjoy and so
you know, you don't need a motivational reason for the
Cheetah Lady to happen. She just happens, and it's totally fine.
It's not for me. I think there's like especially a
disappointing that Wonder Woman doesn't get to be the center
of character in her own movie. It's a little disappointing.
I really like Wonder Woman. There's a lot of great

(05:50):
source material for her, and for me, it doesn't do
the character of Justice. But I also don't want to
take anything away from DC fans. I'm a true believer
that like, if you like a thing, you know that's
your ye and the DC fans liked this movie. I
haven't searched the internet to know if it's well received
or not. I don't even have critics liked it. I
didn't even look to see what critics liked it. It
was critically panned. And it seems to me that while

(06:11):
some DC fans were like, no, this is a solid
superhero movie, it's certainly not getting the praise of like
a Justice League or the the Call for you know,
Zack Snyder cut or anything like that. So I think
it's sort of middling. I have a I have a
real problem. Listen, we got we were really excited to
watch it. Yeah, me too. We were really excited all

(06:34):
those actors, yeah yeah, and great cast, great cast. And
the first three minutes of the movie with the little
girl is the best part of the movie to me.
Um where she uh is in the race and at
the last minute her I don't want to spoil it,
so I'm going to shut up, so but she's in

(06:55):
the race, and that was the best part of the movie.
And then a minute this is where I was like,
I think we're in trouble now. I'm not hating on
this movie. I'm not hating on this movie. I don't
want to hate on this movie, but this is where
I thought was like, oh, we're in trouble. When Wonder
Woman turned back around and winked at the little girl,
I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh no, And what

(07:20):
did it for me? Because and because my wife is
a great judge of what you know, what's to come,
Like she figured out the usual suspect before you know,
the minute the movie started. She was like, Oh, that's
kinds that's kinds of jose right yeah, And I was like, oh, okay.
She she said, oh, these are her exact words. She
went like that. She went oh And I was like

(07:43):
what what what? What? What? And she was like, uh,
if the rest of the movie is like this, we
got a problem. What was with all the SlowMo? What
was with all the SlowMo? I don't know. I have
to say I want to understand how she could fly.
I mean that she's always been able to do that.

(08:04):
She's always been able to do that. Hold on, now, now,
let's let's if you want to go and told me
on Twitter that she was lasting the lightning. I didn't know, Okay,
I've never seen her do that before. But Wonder Woman
has always been able to fly. What was weird was
why does she have the invisible jet because she can fly?
That was always the that was always the argument, you

(08:25):
know what I mean, Like, what's the point of the
invisible jet if you can fly? Um? But so as
far as that goes, her powers and everything like that
are top notch uh And they're powers and they're they're
but they're doing it justice man, Like, that's that's the truth.
She's supposed to be. If Superman is the male version

(08:47):
of what is the most powerful, wonder Woman is the
female version of what is the most powerful? You know
what I mean? Like they're supposed to be the Titans
that protect Earth, you know what, And that that that
is apparent in this movie. It's clear if you are
a mere mortal on this planet and you go against her,
and you go against Diana, you're gonna get your ass kicked.

(09:09):
On the other side of things, we all loved Soul, right,
Soul is incredible. You didn't like Soul. I have so
many feelings about Soul. It's a beautiful film. I cried
at the end. I think structurally it's very sound. I
sort of wish in the way that Coco got to
experience an afterlife that was authentic to a culture. I

(09:30):
wish soul had provided us with an afterlife authentic to
Black culture. Um, but but performances outstanding. I really really
did enjoy the Just watching the film, I thought, beautiful,
beautiful art. I saw someone coming on Twitter and one
of them like the body types. And it wasn't just

(09:52):
African Americans being the star of the show, but the
way that they the artists drew different body types and
facial types and shapes and sizes, the way they drew
his barber. I mean, I just love I loved us.
The art of it I thought was medical. I loved
Uh soul Um for a lot of reasons, but mostly

(10:14):
for like there there's something special about an artist when
they can inspire you. And usually when an artist does that,
they win Academy Awards and stuff like that. And Jamie
Fox is one of those artists. When he gets it right,
when the movie is right, and when he's in that zone,
he really can inspire you, you know what I mean,
Like he really his talent is top notch when the

(10:38):
when the cards are in his favor and he's playing
that hand, you know what I mean, Like I I
and this is one of them. This ray is one
of those, but this one also, it's like you listen
to him and you're like, holy cow, I I need
to be a voice actor. I think. I think. I

(10:58):
think if I focus really hard, I could be a
voice actor. Oh my, you know what I mean. He
just makes it seem like you can do it too,
and it's a gift that you have. I once told
him that, and I think it came off kind of wrong,
and he was like, well. I was like, I was like, dude, man,
you make you make people feel like they can win oscars.
He was like, well, shit, motherfucker, go get you one.
Then I was funny though he was. I hope he

(11:22):
was laughing with you. I was like, all right, all right,
I'm bad, but yo. Anyway, the point is he's just
amazing in this role. And when it comes to music,
it really does. You know, he really does shine, whether
he's talking it or singing it or you know, you
know it. There's just something special about him when it

(11:44):
comes to that. Yeah. It's a beautiful movie, I think,
and everyone should see it, even if you're not. If
you you know, I thought it was just artful and
Pixar man, did they have it? Did they have it down?
It's just almost every single time flawless. Daniel, you didn't
see that one either, did you didn't see it yet?

(12:04):
Daniel was building computers. M we I wanted to talk
about all the all the pictures of those of you
who bought onesies. Um, Donald and I are both loving
all the pictures you're posting. It brings a giant smile
into our face. We love that you love this podcast.
I just be sentimental for one second before Donald counts
us in. You know the amount of love that you

(12:26):
shower upon the four of us on social media, and
it really means a lot. And I saw so much
varying from silliness and someone in a onesie eagling their
their husband to someone saying this show probably saved my life.
No joking around this year. And I just want you

(12:47):
to know that we we hear it, and we love you,
and we did not think we'd make this much of
a difference, but it means so much to all of
us when we see your reaction here here, and so
we're gonna keep um entertaining you because that's what we're
here to do, is hopefully put a smile on your face, right, Donald,
Absolutely all right? I second that. All right, Well let's

(13:10):
let's why don't we rewatch an episode of Scrubs and
discussing six seven about show we made about a bunch
of nurses said stories, yet around here, yet around here? Yeah?

(13:38):
So do you have your recap ready? I do have
my recap ready. How did you feel about this episode? Um?
I thought it was very silly. It was very short,
It felt shorter than normal. Here's here's something I don't understand.
How do you make an episode that really is only
funny if you've smoked a lot of weed about about

(13:59):
you know, uh, you know, this is your brain on drugs.
How do you make you know what I mean? Like?
This show has so many like if you're if you're
stoned and you're watching this, this is a very very
funny episode, like silly, like the type of episode where
you got out your nose because you laugh so hard. Yeah,
you know what I mean? I felt like if I
would since you asked me. It's like the writers were you.

(14:20):
I can tell when the room and when the vibe
of the writer's room was particularly stonery and silly that week. Absolutely,
Now one of the mains of this episode, but I
mean the brain on Drugs episode, the B story is
essentially that the janitor wait, let me get into the riquet. Okay, okay,
but I mean it's definitely an If you had a

(14:43):
stone or friend who wasn't into scrubs, I suppose you'd
probably start with Wizard of Oz with musical, but this
might be one to show them, right, absolutely, absolutely, alright, alright,
hold on, hold on, hold on, stop watch and go.
Jad and Carla have really bonded over the last few years.
Turk sick of being nagged over his butt watching habits,

(15:04):
Elliott and Cox think differently of a patient, and the
janitor is maybe the most desperate we've ever seen him.
What are the limits to fidelity? When does it become infidelity?
That's not up for anyone to decide, but you my
personal belief, if you need to lie for whatever reason,

(15:24):
you're probably doing more harm to the situation than helping.
Communication is always key, amen on communication being always key.
But Turk can't be looking and fucking all these asses?
Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? If his
wife says and means it and isn't bullshitting if she
says honey, honestly, you're a man, and I don't find

(15:46):
it disrespectful. And I'm going to look at that ass too.
She's got a great ass. Whatever the whatever, whatever their
rules are, and it's honest. She's not just putting it
on to be to be cool, to be cool wife,
and there's communication. Okay. I'm just saying, if it's real,
if it's not just like she's like, oh, I don't
want to be like up tight. I'm gonna pretend like
I'm okay with it, but really I'm crying inside. I mean,

(16:08):
Turkey is like when she says go, he turns and
he just looks at the ass like this. I feel
like Turk and Carlin might be open for a little
you know. Uh, you know, we talked about it before.
You know, j D kind of thinks it's possible. I
think they're open to a little you know, Intermarrital. First
of all, I don't think. First of all, she goes
on a date. This was so weird, Like she goes

(16:31):
on a date and j D doesn't tell Turk either. Yes,
you would have, but he doesn't. In the show. I forgot.
I'm sorry I did. I brain farted on what your
what your reaction was when she finally reaction that they
give is not a reaction. They give JD's fantasy of
what's going to happen. Right, do you ever see what

(16:52):
really happens? Oh my god, how funny. By the way,
first of all, you'd be this age right now all,
you'd be in this age right already. Out I said this,
I just blew you out. Sorry, I said the same thing, dude.
First of all, the funniest part of the show, in
my mind is me as an old man, still living
with you and farting. And then I went I did
the math, and I'm like, that's that's me at forty five,

(17:12):
right right, right right right? That's how how trippy is
that to see yourself? I mean, this is an experience
most people on earth will never have, seeing how you
as a twenty five year old portrayed yourself at forty five,
and then going back at forty five and watching it.
I was old and bald and fat and farting and

(17:35):
farting and still living with my friends and very very
jewish and extra jewey, extra jewey, sorry, because I've got
nowhere else to go. I was like, I was like
a fucking Seinfeld character. Oh my god, I was very funny. Though.

(17:56):
That would have been great. There are certain things I
would he's had more of. I wish there was. I
wish Turk's moll puppet was a running gag, and I
certainly wish forty five but really seventy five year old
extra Jewey Zach was a character. I mean extra Joey
j D, Extra Jewey JD. Well, they they they overlap,

(18:16):
all right, Um, Jadie's nipples name is Jasper. I laughed
at that. JD loves to show his nipples. Right, you're right,
nipples name is Jasper. Yes, and you have one hair
named Clancy. So there's Jasper and Clancy. Well, the hair
is named Clancy, and the we don't get the left
nipple's name is no, I think it's the left. I
think it's my left. That's Jasper. Yeah, it's sure left,

(18:37):
that's Jasper. I'm sure it's on scrubs Wiki. You're right, now,
you're right, you're right, you're right right. But anyway, first
of all, in the spirit of sexual harassment at the workplace,
I mean, j D and Turk are just like really
not being subtle at all ogling this woman's tush. Yes
they are. And I got to ask you a question now,
because it's funny even in even in two thousand and

(19:00):
two or three, whenever we're making must have been three. Uh,
we seem to not be character we seem to not
be playing characters that were toning it down or I
don't know. It just seemed out of place. It was bizarre.
I gotta ask you, though, are you a ass man
or a breastman? Ass man times ten? Okay, So when
we first met, though, dude, you were a breastman. You

(19:22):
were all about tiny waists and big breast. Dude when
we never met that was of another friend. That was you. Dude.
You were like, it has to be I was like, well,
what about the big ass? You were like, it has
to be so tiny ass has to be. Maybe, oh
my god, we're gonna fight. Sorry, I don't mean yeah,
we're gonna fight. We're gonna be your appreci I'm not
saying that your appreciation for giant tushes. I don't like

(19:45):
JP off on me a little bit. I don't like fake,
I like giant. I don't like we both we both
have something in common that we like the real real.
I like the real, real, Yeah, I definitely didn't know
that ass implants were a thing until recently. I thought
that was a joke. It looks weird, and you got
this big, big, big, big like hump on your bet,
but and then like these real tiny legs, like if

(20:06):
it don't match the if the if the hamstring don't
match the booty, what's you're really doing? What's you're really
doing to each their russ If you're listening right now
and you're on the fence about whether they get the
ass implants, Donald and I are begging you not to
unless you got no ass. If you've got no ass,

(20:26):
can then do squats. Don't fucking put silicone in your touch.
Sometimes squats. Sometimes squats, okay, Daniel, Sometimes squats don't help though, Well,
I'm just I mean to each their own again, if
you're sitting there on a cushy ass implant, then Mozeltov,
I'm just saying, I personally would rather you did the squats.
Joel just over there sipping on hot tea. By the way,

(20:51):
someone runs something so funny on Twitter. They said rip
to Joel's UH search history. After last week's episode where
we made hers search for the amount of sperm that
are in each so practically no penis pill ads. Yet
this just you wait, Well, you were doing a service
for the American, well, for the for the for the Earth,

(21:13):
for the Earth, Earth, for Earth, Planet Earth. You're welcome,
You're welcome, You're well welcome. Isn't it funny when you
when you not funny but when you're like you Google
something and then you're on some other website and ads
for that thing come up, and you're like, what the fuck?
I just look for two seconds. I don't can and
doesn't need to be like pornographic. It's like, I'm not

(21:34):
that interested in in in iron shelving. I looked once. Yeah,
it's I looked at a knife online, like a cooking knife,
because you guys know, I'm so in the cooking a
chopping knife, and I looked into it because it's like
one of those big ones that you see on the
Food Network and stuff. Yeah, it won't stop showing up.
It just keeps showing up on my phone in every

(21:56):
ad that in every ad on any site that I
go to, YouTube, freaking Facebook, Twitter, well Twitter and half adge,
but um Instagram, it shows up. Yeah, they got you
Luckerberg's got you all right now. The Janitors whole storyline, yes,
is a big storyline is he has a twin brother

(22:18):
named Roscoe, and he's committed to tricking JD and Turk
that he I mean, does this guy have any of
work to do. He's the entire time trying to convince
us that he has a twin brother. But and and
and he goes through like outrageous feats to his theory.

(22:38):
He enlists Troy, right, he lists Troy. He jumps out
of a window, a one story window. He jumps from
the second story to the top of the first story
roof and then onto an ambulance and then onto an
ambulance and then falls off the ambulance because the ambulance
gets a call so they speed off. He falls onto
the ground. I mean, this guy really, really, really really

(23:02):
was committed to trick. He made a video yes with
Troy for the birthday for the two of them, for
the twin birthday party. Twin birthday party. This episode was
so silly, I mean, and he goes, take your time
to look at this and runs around, Yeah, and then
the other gen comes in and it's got nail polish

(23:24):
on the other hand, But then when he walks in,
he goes walking slowly. Yeah. Yeah, what was the woman's
name on his in his and his brain trust? Do
you remember her? It must have been crazy eyed Margo.
It must have been her hand, crazy eyed Margo memory.
Someone wrote on Twitter. I sat. Someone wrote on Instagram

(23:47):
or Twitter about you. It was funny. They said. There's
definitely a Goldilocked sweet spot for how high Donald should be.
Sometimes it's too little, sometimes it's too much, right, Sometimes
I get too far gone. Yeah, I'm like, holy shit,
I was high in that episode. Yeah. And then there's
sometimes where I was like, I probably should have smoked
weed in that episode. Yeah. I just love that someone
compared you to Goldilocks's like, that's that's that's that porridge,

(24:09):
that that weed is not enough, that weed is too much,
that weed, that's just right. Um, why don't we go
to break, right, chel We're gonna go break, and when
we come right back, we're gonna talk about firm like Mutton,
the second time that an assid has been compared to
Mutton in Scrubs. We'll be right back and we're back, okay,

(24:39):
all right, And I have a question, why why why?
First of all? Why that why? Why? I don't know.
It came to my mind when you did that noise? Okay,
second of the second, second second of all? Um, I
thought Elliott had gotten past this look. I thought we
were moving past this look at this point, aren't we? No,

(25:00):
she does this rock her hair for like? I think
the whole season really okay? Yeah, I think the season
three was Elliott rock her hair. Okay, the whole season. Yeah,
I'm sad about it too. And the whole season and
then and season three ends with us getting with Carla
and Turk getting married. Right, I don't know, boilers, Oh,
Joel says, yes, I can. Look. I have it in

(25:22):
front of me here, what Joel, you're looking? Yes, I'm
looking right here? Do you want to know what's coming up?
We have? Oh, we have his story. I think this
must be when you narrate. Oh shucks, it is either
mea John c. McGinley. No, it says you. Turk has
hesitations about whether or not to mail his wedding invitations.

(25:42):
Oh shit, yep. And then we have Scott Foley coming back,
um for I mean, we haven't booke him on the episode,
but Connecticut's favorite Scott Foley. Yeah, and then we have
Richard Kine's episode, and yeah, it ends with Carla and
Turk getting married with George. Somebody's gonna ask you that's

(26:06):
that Just that line alone in that song. I don't
even know the song, but just that line alone. Classic.
So the sixth member of the cast of Spin City
joins this Alexander Chaplin. Now we call him Sandy. I'm
Sandy Forever. We went to theater camp together, which sounds
like a joke from Scrubs, but is true. We went
to a theater camp called Stage Door Manner together. And

(26:27):
he is related to say it, tell it. There's a
reason why his name is Chapman. No, Chaplain, He's not
related to Chaplain. His father in law is how Prince
the most celebrated was under the impression that Sandy was
was related to Charlie Chaplin. No, you can, let's look up.

(26:48):
I would know that. I would. Let's look this up.
But his father, somebody, you know, told me this. David
alan Base told me this. So I'm gonna put Dave
David alan Base on I don't think so. I feel
like I would know that tidbit about him because I
know him and he's a very very sweet man and
a wonderful actor. And do you know what film he
was in that was really where where his acting was

(27:10):
really incredible. I wish I was here. M hm do
you remember that Donald? Isn't that he plays the young rabbi? Uh?
Do you remember that Donald? Oh? Yeah, that's right? And

(27:32):
the plant and something about the plant. Right. He is
a great actor, I think, very very amazing actor. I
think it's very underused. I mean, the guy should have
his own show. At this moment where he explodes on
Elliott over over trying to get pain medication out of her,
I mean it was just like it was just like
a quick, little three sentence monologue and he fucking killed it.
He's so talented. He's very talented and very funny. Also,

(27:56):
he's very funny. He can also has a beautiful voice. Um,
I love this man. I wish I wish that I
saw him more. We gotta, we gotta, we gotta. If
you're out there and you're a casting director, you gotta
book Alexander Chaplin because he is a talented fellow. Yeah
he is. Um, just give me a second. I'm still looking.
I think Joe Welle is doing the work for me. Yeah,

(28:17):
they're not related, and it doesn't even look like that.
Maybe his original last name. It says that he adapted
it when yeahs he got married according to their Wikipedia page. Yeah,
do talk about stage door manor though Zach. Yeah, does
it say that he's his father in law's hel Prince?
It does? There you go, wow, he is he is
very Look, he's one of those people where you're like, dude,

(28:39):
he should be working way more. I agree, This is
why I tell people and not that. And Sandy's had
a great career. He's been on Spin City, He's been
on lots of shows. He's a working actor. But I
do have to say when people go, when people talk
about becoming actors, I go, there are people like Sandy
Slash Alexander Chaplin that are so good and handsome, and
you're like, why is this guy not a household name?

(29:03):
I mean, that's it's it's humbling because you go, That's
why I always talk about it all being a lottery,
like the fact that that guy never had his own
show or has he yet to have his own show.
I just can't believe it, because he can do everything,
and he's and he's charming, and anyway I cast him,
I'll continue to cast him. It's crazy how that is, though,

(29:24):
because you meet a lot of those people in Hollywood
as you go through the as you go, you know,
as you climb the ranks, and as you fall down
the ranks, you know what I mean, as you as
you fall, you meet a lot of the same type
of people who are running the same type of race
that you are. Man, this thing really is like it.
I remember when I lived in New York, we used

(29:46):
to look at this thing, look at the acting game
as the trenches, because like your best friend all of
a sudden as your enemy the minute you walk into
an audition space, because you're all competing for a job,
and you know you're absolutely right. He's one of the
people that you watch and you're like wow, even as
an actor, when you look at them, you're like, this person,

(30:06):
there's something something's wrong if this person's not doing it right.
And it's like why, like why, I mean other than
just the lottery of of of the way the chips fall,
I don't know see why. I mean, Donald and I
both won't you know, can can name privately actors that
are hugely successful and totally cut together in the edit room,
and they owe their career to an editor and a director.

(30:27):
And then there's people like Sandy Chaplin, who, like I
directed him in which I was here, there's not a
single take he did I couldn't I couldn't use in
the film. He's right that him yelling at Elliott is
also just on him. It never cuts to her reaction
until after he's done. So you see the you see
him smiling, and then the ramp and the and the

(30:48):
it's really it's and then he quickly turns a joke
and then right and then right it comes back. I
think he recurs a few times. Bill loves the same character. Yeah,
Bill loves him too. Um So, all right, there's our
there's our monologue about how much we love Alexander Chaplin
and and again, sorry shameless plug, if you still haven't
seen Wish I Was Here, please check it out. And

(31:09):
he's really good in that. He's I play a guy
who's so not into his religion and he's secular and
was raised Orthodox, and and he befriends this younger rabbi
who's sort of you know, shows him that there's a
way to be religious without being the religious ways his
parents were and and and so he finds his own
unique way to connect to spirituality. He's sort of the

(31:31):
rabbi I always wished i'd met. I wish I'd met
a rabbi who who? Who? Who taught me a way
to be spiritual without the strict dogma that I was
sort of had forced upon me as a child. I
have a question for you. Go ahead, And this is hypothetical,
and so I don't want to just change. I don't

(31:51):
want to. I don't want to be because I think
everybody did a great job and wish I was here
and everything like that. But if Natalie Portman would have
played your wife in that movie, do you have made
it the sequel to to uh Garden State State? No? No, No,
I don't think so. I I see how they are

(32:11):
there's they're sort of cousins of each other. But um,
I think I didn't want to go anywhere near Garden State.
I mean, obviously I I it's coming out of my
brain and in this case, and wish I was here's
the case my brother Adam as well. But so they're
all gonna, you know, have a piece of me. And
in fact, the new script is funny someone someone I

(32:32):
know and love and trust read it and I said,
this is the first thing I've written that really isn't
about me. And they read it and laughed. They said,
do you think this isn't about you? I mean, it's
not about a struggling artist, a guy from Jersey, but
it is so much of who I am in it.
I think that that's just, you know, that's what comes
out of me when I when I write. So I
think I see how they're cousins of each other, but
I didn't. I didn't see Kate's character having anything to

(32:55):
do with with Natalie's character. Would you ever consider revisiting that?
I'd love to work with Natalie again. I don't want
to do like I've had so many opportunities to do
incarnations of Garden State, I don't. I just kind of
want to leave. Would you ever want to put this
cast back to you? Like? This is what I don't understand,
This is what I don't understand. It's certain and some
directors do it, and then other directors don't do it,

(33:16):
and I don't understand that. And sometimes it really upsets
me because you meet certain directors and you're like, I
want to work with this person forever and then you
never work with that person again. But like Scorsese, he's
one of those people where if he loves you, you're
in everything. He's gonna do same thing with Oliver Stone,
you know what I mean. I don't understand why people
don't take something that was successful like Garden State and

(33:38):
bring the entire cast back together, same writer, same director,
same everything, and create something different. If it all worked
the first time, why would it be different the second time.
That's a great point, But you'd have to write something
that would be perfect for all those people again, you know,

(33:58):
but you already kind of know what it is because
you did it the first time. No, all right, if
I just stick to the blueprint, the blueprint says this
is gonna work. This is something that rappers do all
the time, all right. The blueprint says this is gonna work.
This is something that artists do all the time. The
blueprint says this is gonna work. And it does pretty
much every time, pretty much every time. If if a

(34:22):
maybe in the rap world, but not not in the film.
There's plenty of people trying to recreate the magic. Look,
it's the whole world of sequels. I mean, how many
sequels are good. That's you're you're absolutely right when it
comes to sequels. But the equal is exactly what you're saying. Well, no,
not really, because when it's the sequel, you want something different.

(34:44):
That's the that's the only thing that's the that's the
that's the difference between the sequel and what the formula is.
The formula works every time. The sequel can't be the
formula again, that's the rule. Man, it can't be all right,
I made Star Wars, so the next one has to
be Star Wars. They made Star Wars, and the next
one was Empire Strikes Back. And that's why this is

(35:04):
the challenge though, and and I hear, here's how I'll
address it in the way that what I experienced is
it took me a long time to make another film
after Garden State, and when I and and I didn't.
You know, it's the classic sophomore effort. And I think
artists of all types feel this is. Of course, I
want the audience to come back for what they loved.
But I don't want to repeat myself. You know, it's

(35:27):
the class any any musician with their sophomore album would
say the same thing. I want I want everyone to
come back into the tent, but I don't want everyone
to think I'm just biting myself. So you're trying to say,
here's something in the spirit of what you liked, but
I'm also going to tiptoe us over here. Now that'll
either work or won't. Sometimes they won't like the tiptoe
and they'll be like, where the fun Like, for example,

(35:48):
I wish I was here doesn't really have a love story. Um,
you know, there's it's a couple that's that's that that
loves each other and they're going through a tough time
and there's a chance that there's a chance they might
break up. But at the center of it isn't a
love story, right, So people that are so related to
a love story, we're like, oh, it's a Zach Braff
movie and it's got, it's got it's got a vibe,
and it's got music, and it's got it's kind of

(36:08):
great actors I love. And then when they saw that
there was no will they or won't they love story?
I think were I suspect we're disappointed by that. So
it's always a challenge to go I want to, I
want to, I pray you all come back into the tent.
But I also want to kind of do something different together, right,
no doubt, No, No, I totally understand what you're saying.

(36:30):
I totally get what you're saying. But that makes me wonder.
Then Scorsese has figured out his formula. It seems like, yeah,
he makes really good gritty movies, you know what I mean.
But Scorsese always delivers. He's going you're gonna see guns,
You're going to see criminal activity, you're gonna see you're
going to see amazing cinematography. You're always going to see

(36:52):
the top actors in the world. He does. The Rodriguez
is another one that's done. That's my point. They're y
there are like a handful of directors that have done that. Tarantino.
You know what you're going to see when you see
a Tarantino movie. Yeah, and Tarantino's done it in a
genius way that even more than anyone that they I
think they are so specifically Tarantino films, but they're all

(37:16):
over the place, in there, in there, in there in
what they're about. So then what's wrong with you doing that?
What's wrong with you doing is as good a writer
or as prolific a writer. But Zack garden State is
fucking fire, dude, regardless of what you want to say,
and regardless of what you want to say about wish
I was here, that's fire dude. It's a great story,

(37:37):
you know what I mean. And it touches something that
you don't see in a lot of movies. You don't
see a lot of people. Thank you. I think. I
think what I do, that is what I write, probably
has a smaller audience, but it can grow. But that's fine. Grow,
that's fine. I don't need to be you two the
band that came to my mind first. Um, I can

(37:59):
be a smaller act at a smaller venue, but there
definitely there clearly is an audience for it. Um. But
you know I'm not I'm content not being as as
hugely successful as Tarantino. My point is not just for you,
this is for everybody. It's all right to do what
you do. There's nothing wrong with doing what you do.
Nobody does you better than you. Yeah, I agree, no

(38:20):
matter what you're, no matter what you're, no matter what
your art is. I believe that. And also what comes
out of you at the time is the art that
you have to contribute to the world. I always go
back to Justin m from bonnever saying to me about
I think I sold the story on the show that
he said, I try to give him a note on
the song for which I was here, and he said,

(38:42):
that's what came out of me when I saw the film.
And so I don't apologize at all for the stuff
I make, whether when sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't,
because it's what came out of me at the time.
It's what I had to say, and hopefully some people
liked it. Right speaking, if that's very difficult to be
on that page, because then that goes against everything that

(39:03):
I was just talking about, where the formula always works.
If you're on that this is what I expressed at
that moment. That's that's the only thing. That's the only
thing I can do. I think I don't know how
to I don't know. I mean, I have yet to
know how to write something. And that's not like a
an order for me to get in a chair and
spend that much time and commitment. And I need to

(39:26):
tap into like what I feel as a human being.
I yet to be able to be like, oh my god,
I have a great submarine movie idea. And it's not
to say, it's not to say, it's not to say
that I don't have an occasional good submarine movie idea,
but I wouldn't have the commitment to sit down and
and and put the time in to do it in

(39:46):
order for me to fucking do the thing that we
writers do, which is stare at the blinking cursor alone
wishing you were doing anything else. I need to I
need to feel like it's coming out of my fucking body.
That's your formula. Yeah, My formula is to um, is
to tap into my own psyche and my own um,

(40:09):
the things that make me joyous and the things that
made me depressed and and uh and craft. Well it shows.
It shows in your movies, man, because after walking out
of Wish I was here, I think everybody was like, fuck,
I'm depressed, dude. Come on, it's not. There's hope at
the end. There's very little. That ship. That family is
so fucked man, Oh my god. Not at the end

(40:32):
they're happy. Yeah, well they're happy because they freaking the
bully died, you know what, and he no spoilers, but
he definitely begins a new chapter of his life and
he seems like he's content in the end and the
very end, in the very very I love the movie, dude.
I'm just telling you, man that that family is that's
a very and and what's crazy about it is that's

(40:54):
the truth. Though. That was a truth and it's not
a wrap this up with a big Hollywood boo. I
don't want to make that ship. There's plenty of people
making that shit. I want to make the real real.
I want to make you know you and your wife
can have an all out fucking battle and yeah, you
love each other, and yeah you will do anything for
each other. But in the back of your mind, you're like,

(41:15):
is this gonna fucking last forever? Like, I don't know.
I want to make that movie. I don't want to
make the I lift her up and we hug on
the beach bullshit. There's plenty of people doing that. That
feels good though, too, keep me one hundred. Yeah, but
there's but there's plenty of people doing that. There's plenty
of I'd rather I'd rather tell it on a story
about a couple that hopes they're gonna make it. Yeah,

(41:36):
that's the truth, because that that is the truth, man,
That's what that's what really, you know, when you walk
out of a wish I was here, and I'm fucking
totally you know, I'd totally sound like your best friend
who's so totally proud of you. But it's like when
you walk out of that movie, regardless of who you are,
where you are, or what you're doing, if if, if
you don't, if you don't feel like shit, damn man,

(41:58):
I'm happy. I'm not that right now. Yeah, not them
right now. I just want to aspire. I aspire to
make you watch something that makes you talk about it,
like you know, when you can see a movie and
then by the time you get to your car, you're like,
should we get desserved? Like I mean in normal times?
Should we? Uh? And just it's gone, It's gone, like
you had cotton candy. Right. I'd rather be like, yo,

(42:20):
you remember to part yeah, of course, and be like
even even by the way, even if you're like I
fucking hated the way he wrote that one character, like
even I just want you by I'm fine to be polarizing.
I want your passion right right, that's what's up. I
want talk about the shrubs. Why don't we, Joel, why
don't we invite the guests after a break. We'll be

(42:43):
right back after these fine words. And we're Badgle gargo, gargo. Okay, Um,
here's where are we going? When we see the janitor
after he falls off the ambulance, I thought we were

(43:03):
going to play basketball. The basketball hoops behind us. I'm
with you, dude. I think that the director was assuming
that the audience doesn't know the geography of our parking lot. Well,
this was written by rich Estes Does that I say
his name? I don't know who's written by? On me? Look, um,
this was written by Oh, I don't know who rich

(43:24):
Eustace is. He wasn't a regular staff writer. I'm not
sure what the story with rich Eustace is. And then
who directed it? Maybe Gail Mancuso directed it. Oh Gail,
you love Gail. We do love Gail. Love Gail Um.
Gail Um has won many an Emmy, I think for
directing modern family. She does that is she Um does it?

(43:46):
She does it right, She's great. Um. I once Um
texted Gail to have her direct Alex inc. And she
didn't reply to me. Now I don't know if I
had the wrong cell phone this many years later, but
I to this day, I'm harboring. Um, I'm sure you
have a listener in your life, someone that never replied

(44:09):
and you're like, do I have a wrong number? Or
did they ghost me? And I feel that way and
I'm like and I'm like, no, Gail loved me. It's
not like we have beef or anything. Why would she
ignore me? Oh, I have a bunch of people that
I'm like that with. Man, it's ridiculous where it's like
I text them and then they never text me back. Yeah,
it's weird though, man, But but do you have people

(44:31):
in your phone? Like, let's say someone hits you up
right and they're not in your noting mean, it's not
someone in your clothes circle. It's it's like a outer
ring friend and you're not dissing them. Yeah, you'll get
back to them. They're cool, but you're not gonna do
it right now because you're in the middle something. And
then you forget. Yeah all the time. Of course, So
sometimes because of my neurosis, I'll go back and go,
oh fuck, I never applied to so and so it

(44:52):
just happens too often with me. You know, you're a
stoner too, so it must happen more because of the
amount of ganja. All right, Now, I laughed hard at
my character getting attacked for hitting on a woman in
the elevator. Now, I think she overreacted a bit, just

(45:12):
a little bit, because that's a sault. Yeah, she assaulted
me because all you said, I didn't. I used a
bad pickup line and she beats the shit out of me.
But it's hilarious and I'm sure there's a lot of
women out there who watched that being like, yeah, that's
what you want to do sometimes when a guy's hitting
on you in an element, that's what you get, Okay. Uh,

(45:32):
Carla ripping the condom open with her teeth kind of
gave me movement. I don't know why. Really, there was
a bit of a like a there was a shift,
he felt a jiggle. It was, yeah, there was a
little bit of a yeah, although you probably don't have
a light jiggle like I feel like when you have movement,
it's like like what you know, like when they make
the sound effect of a giant boat moving, it's like
a yeah, you know when they do like the underwater

(45:58):
shot of like their aircraft carrier turning and the like.
We had a turn turn, turn, and they cut underwater
and then you hear the boat like, yeah, like a
big streaky turn. Yeah, yeah, that's what I feel like.
It sounds like when your penis shifts, all right, Carla,
Carla going on a date was just I had trouble

(46:20):
with that. I like, I did never do that. It
felt so duplicitous. And and the fact that she made
JD hold the secret. That's where I had a problem.
I didn't have a problem with her going on to
date because that can happen. That could happen where. But
the fact that JD was there when it happened, and
she said yes, and then she was like, yo, if
you tell on me, these beads mean nothing. That was like, wait,

(46:43):
hold on, yeah, I don't know if y'all know how
this works, but its bros. Before holdesb that's real talk,
be real, real fucking talk. Would you say Casey said
to me, I'm gonna go on a date before Donald
and I fuck out of here. If you don't tell me, dog,
that's a rap. B we really are friends. You might
as well fuck Casey. Dude. You might as well fuck

(47:04):
Casey if she says yo, n it is not bad, dude.
If Casey said to you, let's let's put it this way.
Hold on, hold on, let me finish. Were hanging out, right, you,
you and my wife are friends. And I'm like, I
don't give I'm not threatened by this situation. You guys
are you guys are best friend. It doesn't mean I

(47:25):
encourage this because of my relationship with you, Zach. You
two hang out. So you two are hanging out. You
go out one night and she runs into I don't know,
let's say, Brad Pitt. That's somebody she talks about a lot.
And Brad Pitt says to her, oh my god, I
was a huge fan of the newly Weds. You used
to make me laugh all the time. Um, And Casey

(47:50):
was like, oh my god, I'm a fan of your stuff.
And they're just having them having a cute little meat
cute right. And then at the end of it, Brad goes,
I would love to pick this up some other time.
Case Oh, Casey or Casey, what a horrible position. What's
your number? I'll give you a call. Maybe we can
go out to some other time. And she's like, blah

(48:11):
blah blah, uh uh one, just keep dialing five and
you didn't tell me. Of course I would tell you,
And no, I'm talking about about the show. Yeah, and
you didn't tell me. You might as well, fuck Casey,
you might as well. I don't agree that. I don't

(48:33):
agree that those two are equal. Um me not telling
you she want to do with Brad. She goes the
day with Brad Pitt. She gonna leave me for Brad Pitt. Dude,
She's gonna be like by Rocco, Bye Wilder, Bye Donald,
it is Brad all day. Well be a mistake for her,
wouldn't it because Brad pitts we might have to cut this. No,
the Brad Pitt for example, because every woman who's straight

(48:54):
listening is like, yeah, I get it. That would be
a conundrum, And every guy who's gay listening is like, yeah,
I get it. That would you can under him? And
every guy whose Kinsey scale allows right now, I was thinking, like, yeah,
I get it, that might be a problem. You know
what I'm saying, Joel, y'all, Yes, yes, absolute Brad Pitt.
If Brad Pitt is like, yeah, you hang out, you
gotta look at your pridner and be like yo, baby

(49:16):
pass no, no, But I'll try to tell you I
want to perhaps I don't believe it. Let's make it work.
I don't believe in that. I think that's just the
game couple's play. I don't think this show is all
about this episode is all about that though, Man a
hall pass dude, if you if if the fact that
j D didn't tell Turk is some bullshit right, agree with?

(49:37):
That doesn't make any sense? Whatso I didn't write it Donald.
They the writers needed to find some drama, so they
created the drama. But that's made up drama. Man, Come on, man,
that's a made up that's I agree? Is the is
the guest here, Daniel. Let's invite this person in and
make their day. Let's cheer them up or or tickle
them with our words. Oh ladies, and gentleman wearing his

(50:03):
fake doctor's real fringe onesie, give it up for Jimmy,
can't Jimmie? Welcome to the program. You our very first
guest to be wearing the onesie live on the show.
I encourage all future guests if you, if you have
a onesie, to wear it as as a guest. I

(50:24):
can ask you a question. Yeah, before we get her,
isn't it cozy? It's so cozy. Can I say real quick,
I'm using my brother in law's computer. My name's actually
cam U. I go by Cam. Okay, so confusing Cam. No,
I'm sorry. I thought I could change Cam. You can

(50:46):
you know, if you go in your odo see if
you upper right in corner those those three dots and
you click on it, and then it says, oh, sorry,
Daniel's gonna do it for you. Maybe the gentleman give
it up for Actually, I mean, I really just couldn't
go through life knowing that I didn't get Donald's oprah

(51:06):
intro to someone else's name when you play the show back,
when you play the show back for your brother, it's
your brother, your brother in law. He's going to be
happy that he gotta because your last name ain't even
ke is it. It's not. It's Salibi, all right, but listen,
let's go Cam camp Donald, and gentlemen give it up

(51:30):
my cam Salibi um Donald. I want to say that
the onesie looks really good on CAM. It is very comfortable,
very cozy. Now, Cam, do you like the fact that
it has pockets because sometimes you get a onesie and
and there's nowhere to put your phone or your stuff.
You can put anything you want in there. Yeah, not
only the pockets, but I like where they're placed too,

(51:52):
you know, not even like to decide they're like perfect
like hoodie pockets. You know. I have only one complaint
about our one zie. Okay, no poop flap, no poop flop. Yeah,
next incarnation, we need to add a poo flaps. Going
to cost more money though, Yeah, yeah, you cost more money.
You do have to go all the way off if
you want to, you know. Yeah, I just think a

(52:14):
poop flap is funny, even if you don't use the
poop flap. I just think I laugh every time I
see a poop flap. Um, Cam, Welcome to the program.
Where are you calling from? I'm from Charleston, South Carolina? Okay,
And do you have a question for any of us
today to be on the show? I do? I do?
I have a question for all of you. Actually, go
ahead and cam that really scrubs specific And I just

(52:35):
got to say so I give credit where credit is due.
I kind of got this question from another podcast I
listened to. It's called The Watch through the Ringer Network.
Shout out Shay Serato watch both the Watches. Two guys
they had Jason Mazuokas on and they were talking a
lot about this past year, and the question was, do
you feel the way you consume content or what content

(52:58):
you want to consume has change over the past ten months.
Your personal taste or what you find funny has that
changed over the past year as well? Obviously with the
pandemic things like that. Yeah, I think I think my
taste and what I find funny has changed. And I
think a lot of it has to do with how
the culture has shifted. You know, what is considered bullying

(53:22):
and not necessarily was considered punching down now used to
be considered very funny and it it's it's not anymore.
Um And so yeah, i think I'm way more conscious
of when listening to jokes and this is and and
this is something that I'm not necessarily happy about or

(53:43):
sad about. Uh, It's just that I'm very I'm I'm
I'm very aware of this now that when I listened
to jokes, I'm also when I'm when I'm consuming content,
I should say I'm also checking to see if it
offends anyone, because if it does, then I'm not necessary

(54:03):
like once I feel like something offends somebody, then I
have a problem with it in a lot of ways,
And I don't know, and I think I think it
has a lot to do with, you know, just the
climate that we're in right now. I don't want anyone
to necessarily be offended by me, like in ways that

(54:24):
I've been offended by people, you know what I mean.
So if if I ever make somebody feel like I
have felt, then I got a problem with that. And
I think this year, more than anything, because of the climate,
we are experiencing that more. I think whether it's okay, well,
now that I know that it hurts you, people are

(54:46):
using it more, or I know that it hurts you,
I'm going to refrain from saying it. And even if
it's not honest, at least it's at least it's an
effort to say, you know what, I see that that
hurts you. My bad. What about you, Joel? Do you
think your ways of or the way you view content
has changed all during the pandemic? Uh? No, I mean

(55:09):
I had the film and television critic beforehand. I watched
things all the time streaming or on my computer because
that's how we get the screeners. I think that there's
a possibility. I like certain shows a lot more than
I would have pre pandemic. I still would have enjoyed,
like I would have enjoyed the Lasso whenever it came out,
But my God, wasn't like vital to just lifting the spear.

(55:32):
It was like came like the darkest point of the
pandemic where we were like, I don't there's no cure insight,
I don't know what's happening. Then like like a beacon
of light here comes to the lasso, just to like
bowl you over with comedy and then did you feel
sorry to digress that episode two was the best episode
of Oh clearly, clearly the best superior to all the
episodes was something about the way it was directed. Go ahead,
And then there shows like um, the Queen's Gambit or

(55:55):
even I don't know if you guys have had an
opportunity to Marini's Black Bottom yet, but that like again,
like there's something timely about these things, even Soul, which
I think maybe I would have been more harshly critical of,
like pre pandemic, like this is so no I can
I like Soul, I might have been more critical in
a world where you know, we probably would have had

(56:18):
a similar summer despite the pandemic. Right, So tensions are
high and there's a lot to consider about black representation
and art. But like, my god, anything that's going to
make me feel some kind of joy or light or
or feels like just remotely better than the previous representation
we've had, and like give it a hall pass. Like
again't take it too harshly, because I just need this

(56:39):
level of joy and content in this time. And I
a little bit his change. I appreciate certain things a
little bit more, but for the most part, no, I'm
watching and consuming when you hear people, But when you
hear people say certain things like uh, you know, hurtful
things in media and in in it doesn't affect you

(57:00):
more Like it affects me way more now because I
feel like everybody is well await, Like okay, I just
saw something recently where a young lady is going crazy
over her phone accusing of a young accusing a young
black kid of stealing her phone, right, and it really
angered me because it was like, wait, hold on, now,

(57:22):
you know what's going on. There's a better way to
do this, dude. What you're doing right now isn't the
right way. There's a better way to handle all of this.
You know, what's what climate, This is what's going on
right now, and you're not even paying. You don't give
a fuck, and that pisses me off. You know what
I mean? When I see sh like that, I can't
really media. That's something somebody like captured, right, Like, that's

(57:45):
not turned into media though, you know what I mean,
it's now turned into something to involve. It is a
much broader conversation, which I don't a thousand percent disagree
with you, but it's a much broader conversation than I
think we can tackle here. I think I've always been
sensitive to that stuff, Like, I mean, if you're gonna
come yelling at children who are just being kids, like,
I've always found that, right, I don't get it. What

(58:09):
about you, Daniel? I think you know inherently, one thing
that is affected my media watching is just the climate
of the world from a health standpoint. Every movie or
thing that I watched from the past, I just look
at and be like, can you believe all those people
are so close together? Can you believe that we were
just so accepting of like this or that or the
other thing? Right? You know, one thing I saw one

(58:30):
thing I saw recently people. Someone on Twitter was saying,
can you believe that we all just like went bowling,
like sticking your fingers into the bowling ball? That's someone else.
You have no idea that we all just did that
and then ate our chicken fingers light. So I think,
you know, anytime I watched something from a year ago
and beyond, there's that, and that's definitely going on in

(58:52):
the back of my head, and going forward, I will
definitely be considering that in the safety of everybody around
in production. Do you think the movie should be Do
you think movies should be conscious of that? Do you
think do you think movies should go back to the
way they were before compared to what's going on now?
Like should movies tackle the fact that Corona happened and

(59:15):
sanitizing your hand and washing your hands? And you know
what I mean, because when you go and watch a
movie and somebody does that, the whole audience is going
to be like, oh my god, so fucking no. I
know it's a question because I'm hoping to shoot my
film this coming summer and I don't plan to address
COVID at all, because I imagine it will come out
a year from the summer, and with god willing universe willing,

(59:40):
COVID will be tackled. And I don't want my film
to be like, oh, it's a COVID movie, but yeah,
it's weird you think of like you know, you think
of shooting something. I agree everything I watch now, I'm like,
oh my god. We were watching the show called every
Somebody Feed Phil. I don't know if you ever see.
It's really funny food show, and he's like really sharing

(01:00:00):
a fork with a stranger and everyone we just like
when the room gasped, we were like, oh my god.
It just really quickly. On that very point, I think
sometimes the best movies exist in a world where, like
the situation of the world isn't the focus. It just
happens to exist in that world. I think, like, you know,

(01:00:21):
you think about the kind of clover Field, the monster movie.
Clover Field tried to do a good job of telling
a story in a world where a monster movie is happening,
rather than making the movie about the monster. Maybe not
the best example, but I think as we see movies
going forward, there will be movies that exist in the
time of COVID. But if there are movies that are

(01:00:42):
about COVID, it's just going to be contrived and boring
and lame. But seeing a movie that exists in this
world that's about something else, I'm interested to see how
that's part of life and so how decide to tackle
that in film and the media, I'm interested. So they
made a comment in that other podcast about how they
were watching old episodes of back PI and uh He's
and the guy was like, Jason was like, everyone in

(01:01:04):
that show is dealing with Vietnam, you know, years and
years later. And his thought was like, you're you know,
you got to have like a character dealing with the pain,
Like what what was going on in their life during
the pandemic. I don't know it. I thought it was
kind of interesting thought, Like, but I agree, Zach, you're
not gonna make a COVID somebody somebody will will. But
I think and I think that also that they'll do

(01:01:25):
both things. Somebody will make a film about plenty of
movies about COVID. But then like in your Magnum Pi analogy,
they'll be art of all types, whether it's a PI
show or or a little dark indie where COVID is
a character. Just the the the trauma, the emotional trauma
of what's happened to the earth. UM for what will

(01:01:48):
be two years or more. UM, I think is going
to be something a lot of artists make art about.
All Right, kem, what's your next question for for the group? Well,
that was actually my My other question was do you
do you see art changing? Now? All of you are
in different types of obviously art and I know there's

(01:02:09):
obviously the little haiting flute like fruit like I assume,
like you know, dance floors or DJs are not going
to be completely filled maybe, But do you see it
changing coming out of this on the other side because
of two or two and a half years of being
in it, I never really thought about that. I don't think.
I think. I think eventually people will go back to
nightclubs and people will go back to theaters. I don't
think any of that's dying that quick at death. People

(01:02:31):
love dance, people love to go see movies together. People
like me are obsessed with live theater. Wait, hold on,
let me get this straight, Zack. You feel like the
movie theater is going to make a comeback again. I
think the movie theater as a as an experience for
Blockbusters is going to outlive us. I do think that
the idea, even I who love movies, when I see

(01:02:55):
when I see the trailer, I go, I'll wait till
it's to be on my big screen TV because I
don't it's not a film that for me. I want
the theatrical experience. But then then nineteen seventeen came out.
I actually watched the screener because I had the Award
screener for it, and I went, holy shit, I have
done this film a disservice. I want to go see

(01:03:16):
it on a big ass screen. So I think they'll
always be, at least for our lifetime, an experience that
someone can go have and go see a movie on
a big screen. I think that the business they'll do
for smaller films that aren't about spectacle will will dwindle. Yeah,
it's just I have a hard time thinking that people

(01:03:37):
will go back to theaters. And I hope they do
go back to theaters. I don't. I don't want to
jinx this, but it's just that's one of the dirtiest
places you can go as far as hygiene goes. You
go to the bed like when you sit down and
the arm rest next to you. Well, COVID will be tackled.
I mean, how long is the question? But it will
be conquered. Okay, well it needs to be. We listen,

(01:04:00):
And I hate to get political. I don't want to
get political about this because I don't think this is
a political statement. But one hundred million vaccine, one hundred
million vaccine ship to the US, how many people have
been inoculated? How many people have received a code vaccine?
A million people? Okay, so one million out of one
hundred million, about of three hundred millions. I see where

(01:04:22):
you're going though, because the thing is what I did
read earlier today is that like at the current rate
that we're that we're giving out the vaccine, we're not
going to give out the vaccine in total for ten
years if we want, right, I know, but okay, but
in defense of in defense of human beings and a
global logistics, I think that it will be begin the
if you looked at the graph, it's going to start picking.

(01:04:43):
I mean, not to be political, but of course I
have a feeling when Biden takes over, um, there might
be a few smarter people in the room to kick
up the distribution. But but even if it wasn't even
even if everyone in this current administration were well in
ten and doing their best at one hundred percent, it's
still pretty massive undertaking to to to give the COVID

(01:05:07):
vaccine to three hundred million people. Yeah, it's going to
be an enormous undertaking. Also, just to correct because people
will undoubtedly come at us. It's two point one million
people as of the recording, two point one million people
in the US and perceive their cover and we've gotten
so let's make sure we're clear on that. If you,
like I said, I don't want to offend anybody by
my numbers. These are the things before I would just
be black fucking it's such such a sense of touch.

(01:05:29):
I don't give a fuck about facts. Nowadays it's very important.
You're absolutely right. Yeah, does X point you like you're
gonna want to see a horror film in a theater again, Like,
it's not the same. It's not the same watching a
horror movie at home by yourself. You're like, oh, it's
it's kind of scary. But when you hear three hundred
people gasp in a movie theater, there's nothing is replacing
that presence. How will that be packaged? Delivered and sold

(01:05:51):
to us is going to change drastically. My guess is
we're gonna see a spike in low inc like the
dollar theaters and things like that that are cheap and
running very old movies and things like that, because and
then we'll see obviously a hike in the very expensive
you can get booze in a like food items and
things delivered and their smells in the air, or whatever
they can do to sensationalize and get more money. Because
theaters are going to have to adjust post pandemic, but

(01:06:13):
they will adjust. They'll still have audiences, all right. Here's
a great example, Joel. If you had to go to
if you went to the movie theaters to see Wonder
Woman nineteen eighty five, which you piss whatever it was
when you walked out, wouldn't you be pissed off? Well, no,
I want to see it. I understand that sometimes movies
are gonna be bad. I'm a movie theater goer. Again,
I don't know. I'm probably buy it person. I'm a
film critic, so I really have to pay for a movie.

(01:06:36):
But even when I do, I'm like, I go in
for the experience of like, I can't see a movie
and Wonder Woman. Say Zack's earlier point gives you so
much to talk about. You can critique that movie seven
thousand different ways, so many things to discuss. Catch though, Man,
it ain't as bad as like, you know what I'm
saying that. I think that's what I'm trying to say.
It's by the way Christen Wig was was a cat.

(01:07:02):
I was expecting her be like because jelicals can and
jelicals due about that time, he is a curious beast.
James James Gordon comes falling down, you know whatever, It's cool.
The person who put Kristen Wig in a movie and
did not allow her one opportunity to be funny needs
a hand slap. Yes, all right, Cam, how can we

(01:07:29):
It's time for everyone's favorite segment in South Carolina especially,
it's time too fix your lie. Cam. We're here for you.
How can we help you? We are professional therapists. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't it's you're talking to three
professional therapists and Donald Yeah. Yeah. I value your your judgement, Donald,

(01:07:54):
um for good or bad. So if it's about weed
or Star Wars, we haven't I got you. Well, I
don't want to be on too long. Uh so Uh,
I hate to go down the rabbit hole of always
asking the love questions. But and as my sister sex
next to me, oh, it's our specialty. She's going to

(01:08:15):
roll her eyes. But is your sister next to you, Yeah,
she's right here, sister. That's my sister Caroline. So I'm
I'm thirty seven, I'm the middle child. My sister is younger.
I have an older brother as well. Uh. They are
both married and have not one, but two kids. The
second one is on the way for both of them.
So I'm the lone single sibling left in the family.

(01:08:38):
And not that there's a lot of pressure from the
parents or from other family members, but some uh and
and I guess my roundabout question is, uh, I don't
know if some of them feel like I'm too picky
sometimes with finding a girl. Um, And then I so
I know, And I say that because I you know,
there's this idea of like when you know, you know,
and everybody has their story right that whatever it may be.

(01:09:02):
I feel like when people get married or when they
get together, they're like, you know, it never would have
happened because of this and this, And I feel like
I've had those moments, but then it hasn't banned out.
So I'm like, is that a real moment? Was I
fooling myself? Was I not? You know? So I guess
that's the idea a little bit, if that's a question
at all. Um, you know, I guess that when you know,
you know it's a true statement. Maybe, But I just

(01:09:23):
am I too picky? You know? Like, no, I don't
think that such thing as too picky, But you got
to realize that it's you know, it's a two way street.
So where where you're picky and your cup of tea
might present itself, you might not necessarily be that person's
cup of tea. So um, But also, can I say

(01:09:44):
something you we all are subscribing to this societal construct
that there's something wrong with you if you're your age
and you found haven't found your person yet. And I
think step one is you have to just let that
bullshit and go, yeah, it's because of kids, though, man,
it's because of kids. Okay, Okay, it's older, it's maybe

(01:10:08):
a little bit more difficult to have kids. And that's
the only reason why. Just as let me just say
my thoughts, just as you were programmed, I'm sure that
this was the right religion for our family, and this
is what we believe. And look, there's a book that
says it all, and these are the rules, and an
XYZ happens if you're good, and ABC happens if you're bad.

(01:10:30):
You were also programmed that by age thirty you better
be married and be thinking about having kids, and you
better stay with that person for the rest of your life.
And I just think a good starting point for the
conversation is just as I don't know if you're religious
or not, but just as Donald and I, for example,
are secular and don't and chose not to subscribe to

(01:10:53):
that aspect of what we were fed. You can also say,
guess what, what if my path is that I continue
leading the life that I have with enjoyment, I continue dating,
and holy shit, what if I find true love at
forty five? What if i'm what if I have a kid?
By the way, I have a good friend who started
having kids at fifty. I've never seen the guy happier
in his whole existence, you know, Gary Donald, So you

(01:11:16):
don't know what's coming for you. Now, we can give
you strategies for some ideas on how to how to
up your chances of meeting the person. But I think
the first step would be letting go of like I'm
in the wrong because of what society tells me I'm
supposed to be doing. Yeah, and well I'm coming from

(01:11:37):
the South. I feel like it was like, all right,
you graduated from high school, you go to college for
four years, you graduate from college, you get the job,
you get the white, white picket fence, and yeah, by
thirty that's all online. And I'm way past that. And
it's been a I understand, Zach, and it's a tough
thing to let go of. But in the back of
my mind it like, you know, knowledge you a little bit.
And what's happening is that every day you're telling yourself

(01:11:59):
there's something wrong with you. And also that white picket
fence fairy tale is of the past. Man that shit.
Who wants a fence? Nobody wants that shit? No more? Right, No,
I mean literally in figuratively, who the fuck wants that?
I think they're ugly. I actually have a I actually
have an old weathered one. They're beautiful weather. I just

(01:12:19):
don't like the painting white. Um. Now that's my that's
my speech on that. That's just my two cents, because
obviously it's coming from a place that I've thought a
lot about. Because I'm forty five. I have a girlfriend
I'm in love with. But I'm forty five and haven't
done any of the white picket fence of it all.
And when I do, you've done. You have done one
thing that you have done, one thing that is very

(01:12:42):
and I think I know what it is. I have
a home and a dog, You've you you put together
quite a career and and that's and that's part of
the white picket fence fairy tale. And I think, and
I'm gonna be honest with you, I think that is
part of the reason why so many people nowadays are
having a hard time finding the uh, the person that

(01:13:03):
they're looking for or the person that they think is
out there for them they're perfect person. You have to
focus on yourself if you're on hat. Listen, I've been,
I've been in that relationship where it was like, let's
make this work, because maybe we can be happy if
we make No. Man, you have to be happy first
to be able to make someone else happy. You can't

(01:13:25):
be a miserable person. And then and and expect to
find happiness in someone else. It doesn't work that way.
That's not how it works, regardless of what regardless of
what the movie says and everything like that, that's not
how it goes. You have to be confident in yourself first. Yeah,
I think you're already there, and so I think, I think,

(01:13:46):
I think. I don't think the problem is whether you
want to you know, why me? Why hasn't it happened
for me yet? I don't think it's I don't think
you're ready for it yet. I think if you wanted it,
you could go get that shit anybody. Well, I'm sure Cam,
especially in that Onesie could go, could go on dates
and and and meat chicks to hook up with. But
the one in the mustache make you look fire listen, Cam,

(01:14:11):
I'm sure what what I think was happening is that
cam on your body cam? If you want these things.
I'm sure you're dating, oh, not in COVID, but pre COVID,
I'm sure you were dating right, yes? And are you
on any of the apps. It's a love hate relationship,

(01:14:32):
so some some months yes, some muths though, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I can tell you that. Um that of course, you
gotta be you gotta be on the field. You know,
you can't be in the stands. You gotta be playing
the game right right, because if you're if you're not.
I mean, nowadays, you know, people don't want to go
lean on a bar and yell to a stranger. I

(01:14:53):
like your skirt. You can actually have a chance to
to kind of get to know someone a little bit. Yeah,
thank you, just sitting there giggling at me. Did you
fucking hit that weed during our break? Did you hit
the weed? No, man, I wouldn't. I don't know about you,
but hitting the I want you. I want you to
be I want I'm gonna be honest with you. There

(01:15:13):
will never be a time ever when we're making this
podcast where while we're making it, I'm smoking weed, unless
we all agree that we're smoking weed. Anyway, let's commit
let's no listen once once once um, we're we're all

(01:15:34):
um injected and we and we're safe. I think we
should do an episode where we get together in the
same room and get high as balls and do the show. Yes, okay,
that's fine with me. There won't be any different for me.
I'd just be different for y'all. All right, Sorry, but
back to camloset, my wife might be mad, but we

(01:15:56):
can have maybe because the kids will be back at school. Um,
Cam Um. One thing I just want to say is
that you have to know that it's it takes work
to sustain a relationship. It's not just like if I
think one thing, then one thing negative that's coming out
of the apps is that everyone's just like pulling the
roulette wheel. Sorry, I think everyone's pulling the one armed bandit.

(01:16:19):
What do you call that thing? Slot machine? Yeah, everyone's
everyone's like okay, okay, oh cool, she's cool. Yeah, we
had a good day. Oh I'm looking her. Oh she
smokes drink. Next oh da dada. Oh she was kind
of obnoxious to Uh, you know people are people are
are pulling the slot machine so quickly being like thank
you next, as Ariana Grande said, um, and and whereas

(01:16:45):
if you are in pursuit of a committed relationship, it
does take patience and giving giving something time to brew. Yeah,
I think I've been guilty of that on some dates,
So I understand what you're saying. I'm sure there may
be girls you went on a date with and one
thing negative happened and you're like, fuck this and that
girl could have been amazing. She might have had a

(01:17:05):
bad night, all right, Donald, Donald, Remember it's like I
I was just thinking about that, or you might have
had a bad night, and yeah, you might have want
that second chance, you know what I mean. Like, that's
that's the thing. The first impression ship is it's it's

(01:17:27):
you always hear the story of well, the first impression
was horrible, but the second impression, that's when I knew
I liked the person. With these app things, now you're right,
it is white, I don't I don't know, but I'm
I imagine that it would be with my kids at
least swipe, swipe, swipe, such a such, And it's like
everybody's reading attributes Nope, next and when did you ever

(01:17:52):
have that? Next? When? When did you ever? When did you? Sorry? Right?
But when did you ever have that that capability? You
had to get to know somebody before all of that,
and sometimes when you got to know somebody, you were
able to dismiss some of the attributes that yours, you
know what I mean. And so that's the one thing

(01:18:12):
that's a little bit crazy about the the state of
dating nowadays, This computer age, this app age, it just
seems like there's just there's there's a little bit of
a disconnect because you're doing it through the wires of
the computer, you're getting to know. But I do think

(01:18:32):
it's I'm very pro I think, you know, Daniel is
one person. I have another friend. I'm very I know
a lot of people that I've seen people really find
true love through it. So I'm not saying it can happen.
I'm just saying there's steps that are you know what
I mean, Whereas you had to make an effort just
to see each other and talk to each other before
I'm typing it on the phone. Try and Match, Try

(01:18:54):
and match Cam, because that seems to be the one
I keep hearing works for people, and you know, Tinder,
you know, I think it's for people looking to hook up,
you know. And I don't really know about the other
ones because I've never been on them. But I've never
been on Bumble, I've never I've never been on any
of that ship cam. I recommend Match because I feel
like that one I seem to I seem to have
a lot of people they don't they should advertise with

(01:19:15):
us because I've I've I've heard a lot of people
have success with that one. But anyway, Cam, the point
is you gotta put in the time and don't just
and don't just um, especially now during the pandemic. There's
no reason you can't be like laying foundation and flirting
and getting yourself out there. Yeah, I think that I
recommend and only fans page Cam. Yeah, so also don't

(01:19:35):
be afraid to start Every guest that comes on, you
recommend they get an only fans account. Well, I think
that you're turning our guests into Donald My first subscriber
only if it's Donald, only if it's free. I don't

(01:19:56):
think you can watch the Yeah you can, you can.
There've done my research about this about only fans. No,
I looked twin what's her name? Got it? And one
made all that money. I was curious. I was like,
what did you subscribe? No? I wasn't gonna give her money,
but that was the thing that did you subscribe to
only fans? Did? She was the first person what's her name?

(01:20:17):
Bella Thorne was the first person that made me go,
what the fuck is this? And I looked it up,
but I did you subscribe to only fans? Though? No,
I haven't subscribed to only fans like I have not
even like listen, I'm gonna be honest with you, man,
there are a bunch of people in I just spit
on my camera, look at that shite that there are

(01:20:39):
a bunch of people in on Instagram that have only
fans and male and female. And I'm like, why would
you get only fans? I don't understand, you know what
I mean? And then I heard about the money you
can make. Why It's like yeah, and then just like
wait a second, you could make some money on only
people want to see naughty shit. I mean that they
don't necessarily have to do naughty. Yes enough that you

(01:21:01):
have to like beat off, but you have to like
show something. I gotta I gotta show. I gotta show junk,
I think, Joel, No, what are people paying for if
they're not? So here's the problem. Here's the problem is
that people like celebrities are like, oh, I'm doing an
only fans and everyone's like, oh, naughty bits, dope. I

(01:21:21):
will pay one hundred dollars for that photo. And then
they get the photo and you can see that on
Instagram and you're like, what the hell did I just
spend on hundred dollars for so you can go on
there and post whatever you want, but customer satisfaction varies. Right,
But you haven't answered my question, Joell, which is what
am I seeing on only fans as a satisfied customer

(01:21:41):
that doesn't involve nudity? Nothing? Nothing. I mean, there wasn't
ever intentionally designed for this originally supposed to be for
like artists and stuff. No matter what, no matter what,
anyone inventsd they're like, okay, now, how can we use
it for sex? It's just like Patreon and Patreon also
has this as well. There are people who sell you know,

(01:22:02):
sex work on Patreon. It's just only fans became something
that seemed more for that. Yeah, but even so their
platform identical. I feel like you' you know, what is it?
Two birds with one stone? Yeah, only fans. You're meeting people,
meeting new people. No, I don't think you should go

(01:22:24):
on only fans and two you making money. So let's
let's just get down to it. Don't take his advice.
It's the American way. Oh god? All right? On that note,
you Cam, you are welcome. You're welcome, and we hope
that you'll when you finally meet someone that you have
some stronger feelings for than just to hook up. I
hope you'll let us know and check in. And I

(01:22:46):
do think that you should use this, this opportunity, this
moment that you were on the podcast wearing our faces
on you as a means of hooking up with with
your new lad. If there's like any girl out there
that you want to talk to right now, if I
don't mind putting pressure on your cam, no, I'll do
with your sister and your brother. No, you don't want to.
You don't want to to call out anyone's specifics name

(01:23:10):
in South Carolina a people all the time. You know
who you are, girl. This will just be a story
for it. Date right right, story by the way, by
the way, and by the way, and this is how
you end the story. You go and and then and
then after they gave me that advice, all I could
think about was you, Oh wow, man, Mic trop Mic Trump, Mirp.

(01:23:38):
You just used it. Man, this is cam doesn't listen
to this podcast. If they're gonna work out, she probably does. Man.
They probably have that in common to pod. What's going
to bring listens to the Office fits Cams podcast. We
gotta go because I have to pee. And we've really
done the show. Cam, you can stay for the end

(01:23:59):
because we pretty much did the show. It's a weird one,
but we appreciate it. Can I want to say, real quick,
real quick, I just I appreciate y'all. Joel mentioned ted
last so earlier, But this podcast definitely came wrong at
the right time for me obviously, right when the pandemic started,
and for my mental health has been a blessing every week. Um.
I thought a lot about Jimmy V and what he

(01:24:19):
said in one of his speeches on ESPN about you
should laugh, think and have your emotions moved to tears
every day and it's a full day. And this podcast
definitely does those three things for me every time. I
appreciate all of y'all. Listen, there is no better there
is no better compliment. Cam, And if you're out there
and we are making you laugh and um, and I

(01:24:41):
can't tell you there's no thing that makes Donald and
I and I'm sure Joel and Dale, but I can.
I can definitely speak for Donald and I. Nothing makes
us happier than hearing somebody say that. So it's also
just for selfish purposes, must you know, just for this
you're right, Cam, like, just for us to be able
to get together once twice a week and talk to

(01:25:02):
each other, you know, and this time I don't see
a lot of people, and you know, I was starting
to hang out with Zach again and then you know,
we got locked down and stuff like that. So I
definitely appreciate what you're talking about, Kim. I totally feel you.
Man cool, thanks man, all right, everybody, thank you for listening,
and um, we'll be back with more soon. Wait, so,

(01:25:23):
but before we go, last week, we did in five
to six seven eight, and people got pissed. I think, Okay,
I think we did, but I didn't trust we did
not we did, right, So Donald, do you want me
to do it? Because I've been a while since I
did it. Get your mouth Reddie. Let me warm up,
baby Bibo boo baby baby bibo boot the lips, the
tipthya in the tongue, the lips, the tipthy tea, the tongue. Weather,
whether it be colder weather with the hot, we'll be together.

(01:25:44):
Like an Anna know who loved him. I said, he's
the stories netew All should know. So gather around you here,

(01:26:08):
are gather around you here. I'll respect for you, watch
your winds and mm hmmmm