410: My Female Trouble

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hello, Hello, what up? Bro? You know what I
was thinking right before I connected. I want to quote
Alan Arkin in the classic legendary film Going in Style,
or I thought you're about to say die Hard, but
he's not in that Going in Style. At the end
when he looks out, he plays a miserable curmudgeon and

(00:21):
he goes, you know, I have this very odd feeling.
I can't quite put my my my my finger on it.
I haven't felt it in some time, but I think
it might be happiness right now? Are you happy right now? Yeah?
It's seventy five in La and um that my cherry

(00:42):
blossoms are blooming, and I'm not gonna lie. I got
a little pep in my step. That's great. And I
was so excited to see you guys. I'm happy to
see Look, I'm always happy to see y'all. You know
how it goes. Yes, I'm always happy to see you.
I'm just you know, sometimes we're doing the podcast, I
still get nerves. I'm like, oh, I hope we were funny.

(01:04):
I hope I have energy and blah blah. You know,
I still believe it or not. You might be surprised
listener to know that I still get a little nervous
as we're starting. But today I was walking through my
garden and I went, I'm happy, jo Well, please turn
off rebels during the show that was freaking Ariana Grandees

(01:28):
was classics and no no no oh no no no
no no no, no no, because you and I listen
and don youn't believe God in the one mon am

(01:51):
I right? Is that they just from that alone, that's
what I would be biking too. Yeah, I know. And
guess Cody would be like, guess what your guess what
you're riding. Cody would be the leader of the ride
talking about that's right God as a woman. Everybody loves
this Cody. I gotta get in there, Joel, when's your birthday? October? First,

(02:13):
you're a libra I am a libra um. We might
Donald and I might have to give you a peloton
as only one. We have a whole spot. Dan Daniel's
like my Monday has come and garden, oh my God,
with a motherfucking record, no record of all. First of all,

(02:37):
I don't ever like seeing Joel Monique at all melancholic.
And she said that I wish I had a peloton
with such a little bit of melancholy in her voice
that I was like, how can I rectify that? I'm
get that hotti a bike? Yes, there it is. Yeah.
Do you spend the day Donald, I did not spend today.

(02:58):
I'd spent the day riding a freaking rap. Well, doctor,
we're gonna get to that rap, and I'm very excited
to hear it, because well before we get to everyone,
the chatter about how good you're rapping is, I'm gonna say,
the real chatter is everybody flipping out over Richard Kind,
which makes me so happy. What a great episode man,
he did such a you know, you get lucky sometimes,

(03:18):
you know, we always try to bring in really good
guests for you and stuff. Yeah, but sometimes you get lucky.
I would have never guessed that Richard would have had
so much I know, I know he's a vet, but
I would have never guessed that he would have given
his knowledge so freely as he would say, I assume this,
this this knowledge is complimentary. I mean, but it was

(03:41):
really if it was amazing, dude. I listened to it back,
and I was just you know, we always listened back.
As you notice, see if we have notes or it's
anything we want to cut or whatever. And I was
just driving in my car and I was cracking up
and then and then all of a sudden, he dropped
some of the awesome fucking you know advice or knowledge
and then, oh my god. I call Bill this morning.

(04:01):
I was like, have you listening yet? He goes, no,
my you know my ritual. I get in bed with
my beat's headphones so I don't bother. Krista and I
listened that night. I'm all right, but dude, you're gonna
love this. And I go, I can't. I gotta tell
you what he said, and I told him how he
goes how. Richard was like, now I heard there was
a podcast and uh and I said, and they said
I should call you guys, and I said, don't worry,

(04:21):
they'll call, and uh, I just I've been laughing. I've
been smiling all day about Richard kind going they'll call,
and we did, and we did, and we did. Did
you know? I had a lot of people on my
Instagram comments saying, uh, you know, you guys should keep
doing those point five episodes. They're so um, you know, informative,

(04:45):
you know, because we had done the one with Johnny
C when we had an episode mix up. And I
think that's a really cool thing to fold in um
because people really love it when you go. When you go,
you know, every once in a while, we're not gonna
do an episode we're gonna take you know, we could
do it with so many other guest stars that would
you know, we could do it with. You know. The
thing about rich re the thing I mean not to

(05:07):
not to dish anybody else that we do it with.
You know, he also just happens to be an amazing
storyteller and uh, you know, not everyone is going to
come and bring bring the heat like that. Well yeah,
you know, well, I mean the thing is, he's one
of those people that always gives you comedy with his

(05:29):
with his storytelling, and that's very important for Fake Doctor's
real friends. Yeah, we are not a dramatic show. We
do not sit here and pretend to be a dramatic show. Right.
We want to make you smile. So when we have
guests like Richard Kind, I definitely agree with you we
should do the point five shows. Yeah, I agree with you.
It's like a it's like a deep dive with one person. Yeah,

(05:50):
and both times at both times it's happened by accident
where we were both like, oh shit, they didn't watch
the episode. What do we do? I guess we did
that with Gabby too. M Well, yeah, yeah, absolutely still
talked about the episode though. Oh we did talk about
the episode. Yeah, this one's good, and um, I'm excited
to talk about it. Should you? Should we? Should we
get into it? Should you? Should you count us into

(06:10):
America's favorite song? Well, let's start with the recap first. No,
we always count in first, Donald, and this one, I
need to do the recap first. Real Oh, there must
be a secret thing that I'm not thinking of all
right now, everybody loves your rapping. I got a d
M from Doctor Dre Bullshit and he said, if you

(06:31):
told you it was about it is because DJ Daniel
not a cousin of No. He DMS me and said,
do you know how I can get in touch with
Donald Fayson because Chronic I have a new album and
I'd like to do a track with Donald and DJ Daniel.
He wants me on Chronic twenty twenty one. Yes, I

(06:52):
get on Nice. That'd be dope. By the way, Look
that's a dope name. Chronic twenty twenty one. I need
your help, by the way, about ut teaching about learning
the running Man, because I want to learn the running man.
I taught my daughter how to do the running man.
I could teach you how to do the running while
your daughter can dance a lot better than I can.
But I would really love you since you are. I
think it's safe to say one of the great running

(07:13):
man's of all time. You know who else does an
amazing running man? Do you remember the Keenan Thompson schedule?
Who what up with that? Jason Sedikas comes in in
a red run Adida's suit and does the funniest, silliest
I think it's running man. It's amazing. I want to
do that. Cow yes, mazelt to our friend Jason sedika

(07:37):
is for winning the Golden Globe. That was peak. There's
no way to say I don't give a fuck about awards.
Better than accepting in a tied eye hoodie. I really
you gotta tip your hat to that. I personally would
have been like tails, but it was the middle of

(07:58):
the night in England, so we'll give him the all
right hoodie? But um, I gotta tell you, I was
just so excited I was just I you know, I know,
I try and brag about being a part of that show,
but in all seriousness, when when I was directing and
I thought it was funny, I knew Jason was charming
as fucking hell and Bill is Bill, but I had

(08:18):
no idea that it would become the huge success it's become.
It is that. By the way, that's Apple's first Golden Globe. Wowy,
it is yeah, very exciting, Jason said. Akis everybody, and
of course if you're one of the four people that
has not watched the show, please check it out. All right,
you ready, Donald, Here we go j D and they

(08:38):
got beef thanks to Julian Muga Leese. I wish it
was beak like the Face because we'd all say along, Yeah,
you know the theme song, Elliot's sick of bullshit. They
test her at work like a quiz. She becomes a
boy because her patients a dick Thanka, so say ish.
Georgia's pep talk was a refreshing shift. Todd gets to
sex Ali Yep in the end on your favorite of Kanye.

(08:59):
You know, we stake friends rose before host, but love
always wins. I learned all this watching Wanda vision Joel Monique.
The recap is complete. Shout out d beat for this beat.
You what free DJ Daniel, hear me? I see how
you do respect to all of you listen this too.
Now back to this show. I was almost so late
after one, two, three, four comes. Here's some stories about
show we made about a bunch of dots and nurses,

(09:23):
and he's that stories never so data around here, a
yata around here. That's amazing. He's so amazing. God, dude,

(09:48):
in your next life, you need to be a rapper.
Love that one. Um, you're talented. You're very talented rapper, Daniel.
I hope that your beat can can match the awesomeness
of that. He will, he will crush that dude if
he that. The thing is it's at one fifteen beats
per minute, so the beat could be like something freaky
with that, you know what I mean? Like, that's the crazy.
What do you want him to do slower? I want

(10:10):
him to do whatever he want. Whatever he's feeling, man, Yeah,
whatever you're feeling, Daniel, guys, um, so family feud got real?
You got real real? This is so fast. We're taping on.
When Joel March something I don't know when it airs.
Do you know what it airs? No? I don't, but
it's the day after our live show we tape it, yes,

(10:31):
so you have to Well yeah, okay everyone, we're gonna
tell you when we know, and we're going on the
Drew Barrymore Show. Right, we're going up. We will have
already been on The Drew Barrymore Show at this point. Really,
when does when does it air? What we record? We
record tomorrow. I don't know when it airs? Actually, sorry,
can you find out from Danika when it airs? Maybe

(10:52):
we can tell the fans to t vow it. Remember
t vow gosh, I do remember. Remember it's the sound
effects of tea. I didn't have what. I don't know
what that well, TiVo, I don't know what that that
that artistry of of of designing merchandises, but the really

(11:13):
gratifying audible noises sound sound design for products. Daniel, what
is that? What is that? Yeah? I mean it's just
kind of like folly in sound designer all you know,
innately part of the design of a product. I mean
that much is just as important as like, for example,
the headshot noise and something like call of duty or
any kind of like video game or any sort of

(11:33):
product that's like, it's a huge part of the defining
the experience is that this many years later, I'm still
thinking about how I really enjoyed the sound effects on
TiVo and they're gone, because you know, the Apple TV
ones or or whatever aren't really gratifying at all. In fact,
I finally figured out how to turn off the auto
playing of the show on Netflix. You know what I mean?

(11:56):
Do you guys have that shit turned on or off
where automatic goes into the eye when you're flipping around Netflix. No? No,
when you're flipping around Netflix, if it just starts playing
the show the trailer of the show. Oh, I like
that feature. I know a lot of people do. I
love it? Oh? I hate it, even if I can't
think it's doubly satisfactory because either it's a horrible clip

(12:17):
that tells you nothing about the show, which I find
to be entertainment in and of itself. I'm like, why
did you show us a woman walking through this house
for a full minute? What was the point? I don't
know anything about her or why because I assume because
those trailers aren't specifically cut biting him. You want someone
just clip out I mean, no human would do this.
Let me let me let me rephrase. Sometimes, if it's

(12:39):
designed for Netflix or whatever, someone has clearly curated it.
But other times, yeah, there's just some intern has decided
to well, here's a minute of the show, and it's
always like the last minute of the opening credits. That's
all you get to see. You see the opening credits,
and that's it for every preview of every episode. Like,

(13:00):
that's not a preview, that's the opening credits. Well, I
just thought that feature was really annoying, and if you're curious,
you can google how to turn it off. I finally
figure it out, and it makes my It makes my
browsing experience more pleasurable, but but still not to the
level of those beautiful, gratifying TVO sound effects. Dude, what buddy,

(13:22):
this is what I get it. She fine, she fines
can be as a matter of fact, Holy cow, dude,
wow wow. Respect. I think at the time I wasn't
even aware. I wasn't aware of it either, dude. I mean,
in front of her, she's a beautiful woman, but watching

(13:43):
him now, she's a knockout as as a grown man,
now as a man, now as a man Finally, at
forty six, I'm a man looking back at that. When
I watched this, I'm like, oh, it totally makes sense
why JD did what he did. Well. No, I mean,
in real life, never get out to you to talk
about a heightened reality. I would never. I would never

(14:03):
have sex with a woman who's suing you on the
table where she was, where she was suing you, where
the deposition occurred. Oh my god, how fun funny is really? Okay,
let me let's let's rewind this a little bit. Now,
let's rewind this. Let's say that the lawyer was very

(14:25):
much looked very much like who's like Sandy Crawford back
in the day. Yeah, let's say it was that you're saying, yes,
that you could be right? Never mind, I would do it. Yeah, okay,
thank you, thank you very much. At the height of

(14:45):
what I was at the height of in high school puberty,
everything turning on, I was like, it was Stephanie Seymour,
Remember Stephanie Seymour? And I think I told you this story?
Did I mention this story about how I got the
picture with her boobs out from GQ magazine Cindy Crawford,
So well, I tell the story already. No. All right.
So so back in the day, GQ magazine would have

(15:06):
the occasional to tasteful, tasteful but topless shot. You know,
you know, people don't may not remember that, but it
was alway. It wasn't like Playboy, but it was like
it would be like, how he's gonna tasteful shot? What
does taste like? It's art? It's like, I mean, it
wasn't like Playboy, like you know, like Playboy esque. It
was like you it wasn't like Penthouse, No, buddy, I'm

(15:30):
telling you. Play Boy is hold on Playboy. They tried
to be artful. Penhouse was the spread, all right, But
I'm talking about this Playboy has like the filter on
and she's in a Santa outfit and whatever. This was like,
you know, a black and white by a really fancy photographer,
like on a beach Stephanie Seymour. A holy different thing,
a totally different thing. Anyway, I found a loophole because

(15:51):
obviously wasn't allowed to have a Playboy, but I was
allowed to have GQ. Not I didn't even a fuck
about GQ. I just knew that occasionally, if you got
a good issue, you might see Stephanie's See More Spooks
and I had so my parents had gotten divorced, and
I um, I had my dad. You know when the
when the dad, when parents get divorced, the parent the

(16:13):
other parent will often like trick out your room or
you know, do things to like make you want to
go there. So my dad got me a water bed
because it's a kid, I really really wanted a water bed,
so I I he allowed me to hang for some reason,
he didn't have any objections. I had my my black
and white topless picture of Stephane Seymour, and I would

(16:34):
just want to look at it and like gently hump
the water bed. Did you get the water bed strictly
to hump it? Like no, I just you know, I
don't know how you were, but as as a fifteen
year old kid, I thought water beds were the coolest thing.
I mean, this is you know. So my buddy, my
buddy got a water bed by the way. By the way,

(16:54):
two days into having a water bed, I was like
seasick and like this sucks. My buddy got a water
bed for the reason of we thought he was We
were like in our we had graduated high school, but
we weren't out of our parents' house just yet, and
his mom allowed him to get a water bed, and
then she went out of town. So we were throwing

(17:16):
parties at his house and everything like that. And while
she was out of town, and one time the girl
I was dating came over and I was like, Yo,
can we use your water bed? And he was like, yeah, absolutely.
I'm gonna tell you something right now. Fuck a water bed, dude.

(17:37):
That shit is the worst thing that ever. It's like,
there's nothing fun about sex on a water bed. There's
nothing awesome about sex on a water bed. It's uncomfortable.
You can't ever get good grip. You never get a
good grip. Oh yeah, you know what you don't You
ever know when the trampoline, You know, when you get
a bad bounce on the trampoline and that freaking jams you.

(17:57):
It happens, you got a bad bounce in you're thrusting. Yeah,
I got a bad bounce on the thrust. But yeah,
I gotta tell you, a water bed was fun. For
like forty eight hours. I thought I was the most
I thought it was the coolest kid in the world.
And then I remember my stepmother coming in and she
was like, why are you frowning? And I was like,
don't tell anyone, but I'm csick. They had just bought

(18:23):
this whole fucking thing. It got off and all I
could think about, all I can think about, even at
like fifteen, was how are we going to drain this
fucking thing and get it out of here? The frame
is also you could always put another yeah, if you
can figure out, if you can figure out how to
get the water out, you can put a mattress in
the frame, which which I eventually did because I felt

(18:46):
bad telling my dad because he had you know, he
had treated me to it. But I eventually was like,
this is not this is not water beds are a letdown.
They are zach quoth zach breath. They are a huge letdown.
And the waves are real too, Like all of that
stuff is Does anyone sell water beds anymore? I mean,
this was such a craze back in the day, but

(19:06):
you know, you never hear about anyone, Like anytime you
see a water bed in a in a show, it's
meant to be a joke. I wonder if there's like
I wonder how waterbed sales are doing in twenty twenty one,
but they were sold as like a sex thing, right,
like the motion of the ocean with the waterbed like
I don't know that it was sold as a sex thing.
It was sold as like, well, I don't know. I'm

(19:27):
sure if you're an adult and you've got one, you
were thinking about banging on it. Do you guys got
some crazy water bed? Yes? Please? I want to know
how much the industry has declined since the eighties. This
is according to Purple dot com, which is a mattress
sales company, and apparently in the eighties, one in five
Americans owned a water watching five. It was very popular,

(19:49):
but by the nineteen nineties the water beds had fallen
out of popularity because of the maintenance required, but they
can still be found today, mostly online. They don't have
a specifically how many people I gotta put it? And
you know, you have to have a heater on it
because the water, even in a warm environment, gets cold,
so so it's also heated. You've got a heated bed.

(20:11):
It was. You know, it's maybe maybe you're not convinced
that it's a bad idea, but I'm here to tell
you that you'll regret it after twenty four hours and
Donald here to tell you that it's hard to bang
unless it's really hard to bang on I'm telling you
right now, all right. Drew Barrymore airs on the fifth, So,
um yeah Friday check o day after this show, So

(20:33):
tomorrow listen. Drew and I are old friends, and this
is gonna be so fun because she's just Drew is
as cool as you can imagine she is from all
her movies. She's such a sweetheart. She's so just eccentric
and fun and silly and like a she's like a kid.
And uh, and I think we're gonna have a lot
of fun down and I'm just so happy we're getting

(20:54):
all this Uh, the podcast is getting all this good attention.
Family Drew Barrymore. I can't believe, man. I would have
never guessed that a podcast on iHeart Radio would be
so popular that we would have made it all the
way to family Feud. Drew Barrymore comes on CBS. Yeah, CBS,
So just if you're listening right now, pause the podcast

(21:17):
and um and mark your your calendar. CBS on the fifth,
The Drew Barrymore Show with Doctor I hope she wears
our ones We've sent her a onesie because she was
interested in our merch, and I really hope that she
how great would be if Drew came out in the onesie,

(21:38):
it would make my day. It would make my day
to have our faces all over the legendary Drew Barrymore.
I mean I got stories of Drew Baro when I
was a kid man. That was like that for sure
is one of my first crushes. It was like Lisa
Turtle from Saved by the Bell, Drew Barrymore from like
WHI the crush? Is that what she did? No? That

(21:59):
wasn't That was Alicia's stone. Oh wait? What was the
Drew one that where she was like a oh it
was like a little she was like a seductress poison ivy. No,
maybe that was I don't know, there was, I don't
know what it was. When Drew became like a woman,
she started doing like these sort of There was one
where she was in a trailer park, like her and
her dad moved to a trailer park and in the

(22:20):
in It, all she does in one scene is she
jumps in a pool in an all black bathing suit
and it's like a freaking It's not even a bikini,
it's a bathing suit. And I remember as a kid
being like, I want to marry her. I want to
marry her right now. I love her. I love not
only is she beautiful, but she's just God. Her personality,

(22:43):
you might think that, you know, that sort of flower child,
silly hippie is like a character that's drew. She's so
naturally just like high on life and silly and I
mean so yeah, that combined with her her and just
and just and just well not just that also just
like her. She's so savvy when it comes to the industry.
She's been in it forever, you know, and so you know,

(23:05):
she's produced some really good movies, she's produced some good television.
She has her own talk show now, like she can
do everything, and she's made the wisest choice she's made
in her career having us on her show. I you know,
I think her producer, I think her producer is gonna
be like, true, you're not gonna believe this. I know,
we just had Spielberg on. I know he just had

(23:27):
Tom Cruise on. But the ratings spiked to our all
time high with Donald and Zach' That's what I'm manifesting
on my white board. Putting on a white board. Put
it on a white board. All right, should we get
in the show, my friend, let's get into the show.
Shout out. First of all, let's shout out Joe Poliito
from He's on the show. Yeah. And I don't know

(23:49):
why Joe Polido isn't credited, because I looked for him
on Scrubs, Wickie and he's not on there. But but
he's hilarious. What a funny, funny man, the late great
Joelo Man. Oh, I didn't know he passed. When did
he die, like twenty fifteen or sixteen? Oh? I really
really liked him. I put him. I made a pilot
for Fox that didn't go with my brother, and I

(24:11):
gave him up. I asked him to come in and
do a one scene, really funny part, and he didn't
pause for a second, and he was fucking hilarious and
just a good, good, good guy. Yeah, he was. I
did a movie with him called Venus in Vegas, and
we hung out on set a lot because we had
scenes together, and he expressed how he really liked Scrubs.

(24:32):
And I remember saying to Randall, I think we should
get Joe Polido on the show. And then like two
weeks later, Joe Poliito was on the show. You're the
one who made it happen. I don't know if I'm
the one who made it happen, but I remember him
express you know, expressing to me how much he loved Scrubs,
and I was like, well, let's get you on the show.
And they and I believe he knew Bill before this.
He had to have known Bill before this, Bill and

(24:54):
Randall because like that he was on the show. So yeah,
well he's you know, you know, we used the term
character actor. I guess it usually means someone who's so
distinctly a personality that they often play that distinct personality,
I guess, and I think he would be characterized as
one of those, and just a legendary journeyman actor that

(25:17):
that was in Nine Thousand Things and just every time,
every time he did a part, he just showed up
and stole the scene. Yeah, and he's great. This whole
shick with Sarah is so funny how she creates this
fake elliot Read and that's really and then the janitor
eventually comes in as doctor elliot Read. But we'll get there,

(25:38):
we'll get there. Jumping ahead, so we opened with pancake
face that people loved pancake face. I didn't remember pancake face. Really,
I've seen like gifts of it and stuff I'd never
I know. So when I when I finally knowledge of
scrubs this many years later, is the gifts that I
see everywhere? Yeah, me too, Like I'm waiting for the

(25:59):
one where we're rubbing each other's like that nestling in
each to you, it's obviously later. It's obvious that it's
later because you have a full beard when we're doing it.
So there's a season where I show up and I
and I have a beard and everyone makes fun of
it because I was so I was like, I was like,
let's shake it up in this season. I have a beard.

(26:22):
You know, after you do a show for nine years,
you're like, what can we do differently? Let's a beard. Yeah,
I got it. I got a crazy idea, what if
my character has a beard. But then you had to
have the beard. Everywhere you went for like a full year,
you had a beard. I liked the beard, especially when
it was brown back in the day. Now it's like it,
you know, my beard, your beard still black. My beard

(26:42):
looks so gray. I feel like ten years older. If
I grow my dude, you are so much and you're
in better shape than you were back then, so I
know that's true. You would look you look like a
silber fox with your beard. Now you should let them.
Let let the say a funny story. I had this audition.
I don't know if I told you this story about
this audition where I wanted to have the beard and

(27:03):
look younger. And so I was like, you know, when
you're on a set, the makeup artist very hard to
die a beard, but the makeup artist will take like
a mascara brush and a little bit of this pain
and a little by little they painted out. But I
had this audition and I didn't have a makeup artist
or or the makeup that they that she or he
would use. So I went and got just for men

(27:25):
hair dye. Right, this is so embarrassing, and I didn't
really know how to do it, just other than the obvious.
So I get it. And my beard wasn't that long.
It wasn't as long as yours is. Now. Well, I
put it on and they say leave it on for
this amount of time and then shower up. So I
come out of the shower and I'm like, oh no,

(27:45):
my whole skin, forget the hair, all of all of
the skin is dyed black. It looked pretty thick. Huh dude,
it looked like it looked horrible and it was. And
then I frantically started googling how do you get hair

(28:06):
dye off your skin? Hashtag home remedy. And it was
this crazy concoction of like baking soda, dish soap, and
something else I forgot, and you scrub that maybe hydrogen
peroxide or something I forgot, but you scrub that shit.
I eventually got it off, and it looked horrible, but

(28:28):
I did not get the part. They probably were watching
the audition going why the fuck does the character have
a horribly dyed beard. I'm sorry, but I put I
put it all. Guys, I gotta close my door and pee,
so I need thirty seconds. We'll be right back, all right,

(28:53):
began the show. Donald. We were into the show. This
is like the third time getting back into the show.
All right, Sorry, I'm excited about the show because I
laughed a lot. Let's talk about dirt loving babyw That
fantasy was so sorry, it's not a fantasy, but but
but this is one of those things where like it

(29:15):
crosses the line because yes, it's funny that the she
pushed you into the mattress, but it's it's a fantasy
in the sense that you're full on, like pushed down
into that. It's like a cartoon. Yes, cut out in
the mattress and I'm stuck in it. Yes. So this
is one of those moments where Bill is riding the
line of what's fantasy and what's real. But I fucking

(29:36):
laughed my ass off. Yeah. Yeah, And then you're what
do you say when she gets off of you? And
you say something like, we're all got children in the dark,
we're all cuts. No, you say that to us, But
what do you say when she rolls off of you?
You say something like baby, yeah, something like that, something
like that, no, or something like she was like was
it good for you? And you're like, I don't know.

(29:58):
I forgot what you said. I don't remember what I said. Oh,
here it is, you go, yes, it was, um, but wait,
you jumped a lot of stuff. Um I did. Yeah, oh,
the marathon, death racing, the Cold Open. I forgot about
the marathon. Now it's a callback to the pilot when
Sarah and I are racing each other and I have

(30:19):
the water thing I splashed it on my face. Oh man,
I missed a bunch of stuff. I missed you getting
spanked by Carla. Let's just talk about the stout man.
These guys did such a good First of all, Chris
constructed this episode. And you know, it just goes to
show you that when you watch a sequence in a
in a film or TV show and you yourself go, wow,

(30:42):
that was awesome, it's it's it's a combination of a
lot of people. Cinematographer, editor, director, of course. But when
I watched this, this sequence with everyone running to try
and get to the patient first, I had to stop
and go who directed this episode? This is so well done?
And it was Chris. Chris Kotch who's was was a
really really great director and was one of our favorites

(31:04):
because that was just excellently done. Yeah, you know, he
has he directed movies at all? Does he directed movie?
I think he has done a few features. But he's
a huge, very respected, very hard to get TV or
TV comedy director, and he's did he he didn't start
with us, but he kind of work started, you know,
cultivating his art form with us. Kind of Yeah. I

(31:26):
mean he was working. Um he was when you look
up some of his biggest credits, and he might I'm
sure he's got nominations too. He was working Donald I remember,
and I think that like as we were kind of,
you know, getting our stride and he was kind of
having a moment, I remember thinking like, this isn't just
one of a random director. This is like a hot

(31:47):
TV director, Like you know, like we felt with Buckland
or Spiller. There were certain guys and gals Gilman Queso
that were like, you know, they were the they were
the cool kids of the moment, you know what I mean,
right right? Yeah, yeah, he did. You know, he did
a guy thing. He did a snow Day directed a
lot of the middle a lot of us. Did he

(32:08):
direct that? That that movie snow Days? Snow Day? He
directed it. That's the one with version, the two thousand version.
Oh maybe thinking of a different movie, which what are
you thinking of? Wasn't there a movie with um the
show me the money actor what's his name? Dogs? You're
thinking of snow Dogs. He's thinking snow Dogs Dogs. That's

(32:32):
also good movie. Really, I never saw snow Dogs. So
here's the thing, man, everybody thought snow Dogs was gonna
suck and it turned out to be pretty dope. Dude, Well,
I'm sure you have kids. It's probably great to watch
with kids. Oh how about when Julianna Markley throws me
out of the car and I go. So that's anow
one cuddling. That was funny. So were you guys banging

(32:54):
in the car and throws you out? Yeah, I'm assuming
we were. It seems like we were fucking while driving, right,
and and I don't know how that would work because
she was driving right and I have no my pants
are around my ankles, So I'm somehow having sex with
her while she's driving. Well you can, I mean it's possible.

(33:16):
Well I could have been been been doing other things,
but it's funnier to think if it was actual sex. Yeah,
I like the idea. Also, if I was doing other things,
why wouldn't my fans be around my ankles? So, um,
all I know is she skids out, throws me out
of the car, I land in my boxers in front
of my job. I land in my boxers, I don't

(33:37):
think I have a shirt on, and I go. So
that's a no uncuddling. Now, wait a second, what was
JD using vadges sil for? Why does JD use vaga
sil on his body? And by the way, why does
Sarah say you smell like vage silk? Yeah, which would
imply that Elliott has a deep relationship with vadgisil. Oh

(34:05):
my god, that's funny. I don't know. But JD, who's
a doctor by the way, a very skilled doctor, we've
learned after four years, decides to put vagicil on his
sore muscles. I don't understand the meaning. What is the point.
It's the cheapest, stupidest joke, but I giggled. I laughed
at it too. Um what about wait? Wait, wait? What

(34:27):
about when we go? What about that whole um thing
of the sequence where Judy says I I still have
nightmares about you two getting married or something like that.
Where do we go? Where we go and you go?
You go Aspen and I go, Oh, I hope it's summer.
I'm not think a skier. That shit's hilarious. Way do

(34:55):
we go Aspen? Oh? I hope it's summer. Oh, I
hope it's summer. I'm not that good a skier like
I trail off like that. I'm not that could a ski.
Oh my god, I've been Aspen's Lovely in the summer.
I've never been. Oh man, well, I listen. I went
to uh Whistler in the summer where Sarah shot uh

(35:20):
that movie wherever Sarah was talking about Whistler and the
was it It wasn't snowing, let's put it that way. Yeah,
And it didn't get dark until like ten o'clock at night.
It seemed like, do you not have you never skied? No?
I don't. I don't. I don't do snow sports. I
think it would be fun to ski with you. You
know why? No, no, no, no, no, no no, because

(35:41):
you not only have a sport that I'm a smidge
in better than you have, and then you you take
one lesson and then be slalloming. Here. Here's what I
what I would like to do. I like things like
sledding and stuff like that. Skiing not so much. I
submit that you don't like it because you're so used

(36:01):
to being the best athlete in the group. If there's
something you don't know how to do, you're like, I
don't like that. Listen, I am far from the best
athlete in the group. Yes you are. You're the fust
in the group, and maybe not. Maybe you're in groups
where you're not. But in every group, I'm a lot
of groups where I'm not the best act I've never
been in a circle of people where you weren't the

(36:22):
best athlete. Okay, fine, I'll take that. I'll accept that,
received and accepted. My point is, listen, I don't do
well in cold weather at all. I remember, I just
don't to the fear of getting stranded on a mountain
scares the shit out. And you're gonna be on a
bunny slope when you're learning to a resort, and you'll

(36:43):
get hot cocoa. It's not even that high, by the way.
You like, Yeah, you'd be on the bunny slope and
you wouldn't be getting lost in the woods and anyway,
the one skiing is so fun, but it's also the
whole atmosphere of the fireplaces in the hot sub and
the ski movies. You never see black people, Joel, when
did you learn to ski? You're from Chicago. I guess
they scared Chicago. Is that what they all do well?

(37:05):
Michigan is right there, and they've got all the little slopes.
You know, they're not big, but you can definitely ski
down them and it's a lot of fun. And my
mother whiskiing like for him when she was in I
think like high school, a grade school, whole family. You
can literally take like Donald, you're so athletic that you
you go out with a pro and like after two
hours you'd be fine on like the simple slopes and

(37:27):
love it. I just worry about breaking something. Yeah, well
that's that's different. That's different. Pizza, French fries, these resort hills,
I promise you yeah, and then uh and then uh
and then it's so fun. Then you get a drink
and you get in the hot tub and it's awesome.
All right, let's talk more about the television show Scrubs.
Um flop sweat ted banging his head on the table. Okay,

(37:49):
I mean that is just Sam Lloyd hitting that table
and he did it. Thunders applause down and he did it.
And he did it too. That Bill was talking about
where they where he made this happen over and over
and over again. They were like, do you want to
pad like this was? This was? This was? I want

(38:10):
Bill to tell the story? Can we ask Bill to
tell the story? Ahead, asked Bill, Bill will you please
tell the flop sweat story, the Sam Lloyd flop sweat
story one again. Hitting the table, tell us, tell us
about this. It's one of the funniest physical comedy beats
in the four Seasons, and I mean Sam executed it
so flawlessly. What do you remember about that moment? And

(38:33):
was that planned or did you guys come up with
that on the or I guess I was in the room.
Did we all come up with that on the day.
I just know that Sam sold the shit out of that.
And it looks like he hits his head. It looks
like he banks his head very hard on that. I
think he bangs it. But he must be. I'm guessing
he must in honor to fuck himself up. He must
be racing with one hand and hitting hard with the

(38:56):
I don't I don't know exactly know how he does it,
but it's amazing, amazing because he had to do that
over and over again, and if he's really hitting the
table hard, he would have fucked up his face. But
I think he he sells the shit out of it.
That's all I'm gonna say. Also, the cut of his
hand sliding helps. But if the dude did the fucking
stunt and it's hilarious. Hey guys, welcome to my podcast.

(39:17):
Within my other podcast, m Richard Kine. Episode was funny man,
they'll call I am aware, Yes, um, Sam Lloyd ah
talking about him. Man, it hurts my heart. I missed
that guy, so funny and so talented. Now here is
the issue. What we wanted Sam to do U, you know,

(39:40):
was kind of have his hand slide and hit something there,
and we weren't really prepped for any kind of big
stunt and so there's nothing to no way to fake it.
You know. We were thinking about can we shoot it backwards?
Do we because we didn't want to cut away, and
Sam was like, I'm just gonna go for it. And
I think it is is one of the best pratfalls

(40:03):
of all time, not just because of how hard he
slams his head for real on the table, but because
then when he comes back up, he kind of has
dead eyes, you know what I mean, and you can
see that his bell's rung before he just kind of
slides off and neither Donald nor can really reacts. It's
just one of the all time best pieces of physical

(40:23):
comedy I've ever been involved in. Sam. We miss you,
We love you. Oh miss you guys, love you guys. Bye.
There was a commercial that had a similar gag, and
I would laugh every time I saw it. I don't
know that commercial. A guy, a guy hitting his head
on a table. It's just amazing how the right timing

(40:45):
in a physical comedy joke is the difference between going
huh and full laugh out loud, and the timing is
so perfect at this that you fucking I wrote, you know,
I wrote LLL. I laughed out loud. It was so funny.
I have a question. So after this, when Turk says
to Richard Kind's character, you know, you think I'm a

(41:06):
bad surgeon, He's like, I don't think you're a bad surgeon.
I think you're a great surgeon. As a matter of fact,
I have a circumcision coming up, not for me, not
for whatever it's for. I've been talking for my rabbi
about it, about getting circumcised, you know, for the ladies. Okay,
I have to ask a question. Does he expect Turk
to cut his penis for him? Yes? I think that

(41:28):
For some reason, I think it's safe to assume that
Harvey Corman Richard Kind is a Jewish man and for
some reason he has not been circumcised, and so he's yes,
how is that possible? How is that possible? First of all, well,
not any Jewish men that aren't circumcised. I don't, But

(41:49):
you know, circumcision with a lot of people's a giant
conversation and falling out of societal norms in a lot
of ways. It's become quite controversial. Um So, I'm sure
there are some parents who are Jewish and not religious
who were like, I'm not fucking doing that to my kid.

(42:10):
Um So, yeah, I guess we assume that his parents
decided not to circumcise him, or for all I know,
he's maybe the character isn't Jewish. He just seems so
like cartooniously Jewish New Yorker. But you and you and
Juliana Margarete, you guys got kind of close making this show.
Do you have? Was this? Was this? It? Were you
single at the time? Was she single at the time?

(42:32):
Like you, guys, I'm not saying you got like your
heat seems very real in a comedy way. But I
don't know it. Just I don't, I don't, I don't,
I don't know it. Just I remember watching this and
being like damn, okay, Zach, I see you. Are you
asking if we smashed Donald? No, I'm not asking you
if you smashed that is not That is not what
I'm asking. I would not be in the first no

(42:54):
what not. But in the first episode, you guys tongue kissed,
and this episode, you guys are always you know, got
a little heat go. My point is, you guys got
a little heat going on. We had good chemistry. Yeah, No,
I think we were both seeing other people at the time,
so there was no h after hours hanky panky. But
I really enjoyed her, and I did think that we
had good chemistry and she's really cool. We had I

(43:14):
had dinner with her and a couple other people, um
one time, and she's she's a she's a really cool
check phenomenal actress. Do you remember she turned down like
the most at the time, she turned down like the
most insane paycheck ever on ear because she was over it,
you know. But she went on to do The Good Wife,
and you know, she's had an amazing career. But I mean,

(43:37):
most actors wouldn't walk away have the strength to walk
away from what she walked away from on EAR like
she would have been. She would have been the most
paid person on televising through her Like, I don't know, Joel,
can you look at what it was? It was something
it was something like twenty seven million and twenty seven
million for four years or something twenty seven million for one.

(43:59):
Joel's gonna look it up. All I remember is that
everyone in the industry was like, holy shit, she's actually
turned I mean, good for her, she's turning it down
to go do what she really wants to do. She
can't be bought. Everybody else was like I'm available right well,
and but that's when Er started changing its cast, really,
you know what I mean. After that, everything started to

(44:20):
change with well, that's what Bill, you know. I think
what Bill aspired to do we never even talked about this,
but I think what he aspired to do with the
ninth season of Scrubs was say, no, this isn't Scrubs anymore.
This is Scrubs med school quote unquote or whatever, and
then hopefully be able to keep it going like Gray's
Anatomy and Er have done by rotating in new cast members,

(44:46):
you know. And it was a valiant effort that didn't
really take off, but that was his that was his
that's what he aspired to do. I do. I thought
that would have been a I thought listen. I have
yet to watch season nine since we shot it, so
I don't know what. I'm very excited to get there
and see what it's gonna be like. But so far,

(45:09):
I don't know if you could replace Churt jd Elliott.
So far, it's just interesting. The Coxe, it was the magic.
It's funny, though, it is interesting to note that a
show like both Er and Gray's Anatomy, I mean, I coincidentally,
perhaps they're both hospital shows. I don't know, but they've
been able to do it. Now. I don't know if

(45:31):
a comedy has ever successfully done that. Can you? Can
you think of one like altering the cast, Joel, you're
a pop culture expert. Just a completely new cast was well,
they were overlaps obviously with you and Sarah. But I
would say Saved by the Bell is the closest thing
where literally the kids graduated and a new class would

(45:52):
come in. And they did that quite a few times. Actually, Okay,
and then what about did Facts of Life have new Girls?
Facts of Life did the exact same thing. They had
new girls also, Yeah, and they not only did they
have new not only did they have like Missus Garrett
left and there was a new caretaker. Missus Garrett got
her own show. Oh sorry, Garrett left different strokes to

(46:14):
get her own show, right, But then she leaves fact
She left Facts of Life too. She wasn't on Facts
of Life very long either. Somebody else came in on
Facts of Life. Oh really, I like the Missus Garrett years.
Well those are the those are those are the best years.
But I saw on the internet there was an episode
I never I remember this, but there was an episode
of Facts of Life where a young prostitute tries to

(46:35):
lure Tuty to become a prostitute. Do you remember that?
Gotta watch that episode? And now I've never seen it.
How did that happen? How? Because you know, was always
Facts of Life was, and you know all those shows,
you know, you know, some more than others, obviously, but
some were trying to take on big social issues of
the time and in a dramatic way. And I just

(46:57):
I don't even remember this episode, but I saw someone
was like, you know, you see sh on the internet
and they're like, is it just me? Or was there
really an episode where a young prostitute tried to lure
Tutti into prostitution. And I assume it was an episode
on like you know, um, you know, you know, you know,
young girls being forced into prostitution and trying to have

(47:20):
a public service announcement. But it's pretty surreal to think
that they try to recruit our Tuti. There's a time
you gotta grow and show you growing. Now, you know
when the boys used to hate your date date you
must investigate. Twenty seven million a season is what she
was offered twenties told you you don't forget that was fast.

(47:42):
That was fast. Season three, episode eighteen of Facts of
Life called the Runaway. If you are if you think
I'm lying, Joel founded for you, go find that episode
two Twoti's not even in high school yet. By this point,
she's not even in high school yet. I don't even
know what happened. I just know that Tutti runs away,

(48:02):
and um, and I know what happens. He goes on
an unsupervised trip to New York to see a Broadway
show that'll get that'll turn you in to prostitution. Every time.
She probably got off at port authority. Yeah, did you
think how many parents were like, see, that's what happens
when you go to see Broadway. Oh my god, what's this?

(48:25):
What's the plot line? Okay, So her parents refused to
give her permission, so she sneaks out to travel to
the city on her own, playing to me her classmates
at the theater. Unfortunately, the show they wanted to see
is sold out, and the other girls wander off, leading
Tutti by herself in Times Square at a coffee shop
after her wallet and coat are stolen on the subway platform.

(48:45):
We're gonna do a rewatch of this episode. The world
never seems to believe. Yeah, the world was not living
up to Tutt's dreams. Um, suddenly, let's do a rewatch
episode of just the episode where Twoti's lured into prostitution.
I would love to watch that episode. Okay, you know,

(49:07):
but we joke around, but you know, you know, this
is a serious subject in America, of course it is.
But we can laugh about tut Joel, Aren't we allowed
to laugh about Tutti? Listen? We can always laugh at
a good eighty sitcom. Okay, they're an incredibly laughfulf I
have to check in with Joel if we're allowed to
laugh about an eighties sitcom episode. We are all right,

(49:29):
we have the it's the caller here, we'll go to break.
We'll go to break and when we come back, we'll
be right back with the call bye, and we're bad act.
I gotta give you guys one recommendation because I like
to give you my weekly um thing that flow and

(49:49):
I found on TV and there's a show on HBO
Max called The Bridge. It's a reality competition. The contestants
have to build a bridge that's that's like four hundred
feet long in order to get the prize. And they're

(50:12):
on an island and they have no skill sets for
building a bridge, and it's amazing. I'm telling you, it's better.
It's a reality show, but it's better than like a
network reality show because it's HBO. They did a great
job of it. Go ahead, dude, they build the bridge.
By the end of the You probably said this and
I wasn't paying attention. Is it one episode to build
a bridge? No, it's the whole, the whole, the whole season,

(50:34):
which I think is ten or twelve episodes. Well, because
there's all sorts of shit without spoilers, I'm gonna tell
you they do shit like they these people all have
to get long and they have it's not like any
of them are engineers. You know. There's some books they have.
They have a shack that they all live in collectively,
one big bunkhouse, and there's some books on bridge building.
But that's it. And obviously no internet, no nothing. They

(50:56):
have to cook their own food, they have to survive
on the island. But also to get one hundred thousand
dollars prize money, they have to figure out how to
build a bridge. And then they do this shady ship
where they're like they'll pick people off and be like
you can leave now for ten thousand dollars, and then
the person will get off and they'll be like they'll

(51:16):
get on the boat like fuck it, I'm out of here.
And then they'll be like privately to that person to
be like, you can only have the ten thousand dollars
if you destroy one hundred feet of the bridge's progress,
and they have to sit there and go, am I
gonna fuck over all these people and take my ten
grand or fuck that bridge, shoe, fuck that bridge, Joe. Yeah,

(51:39):
you go St James on that bridge, you go straight
brick James on that bridge. Fuck yo, Bridge, yo bridge.
I'm telling you it is so entertaining. I'm recommending it's
all my family and friends and all of you my friends.
It's so entertaining, all right. You know when you know
when it shows over and you're like, we've got no more.
That's how we felt. It was so good, okay um,

(52:03):
And of course they do all that reality show heartwarming
stuff where you just start crying. That's how I'm gonna
feel on Friday. Why yeah, oh really yeah, I didn't like.
I gotta say, don't hate me. But the second day,
this last episode, where there was no more TV spoofing
and just full on superhero shit, I was like, huh,

(52:24):
well that's because you can't recognize the Easter eggs now.
The Easter eggs are all still there and you just
gotta see it. I know. But I found what was
so fun about the show was the incredibly out of
the box TV spoofing, and now that that was gone,
sorry spoilers, I was a little like, oh, you didn't
like you didn't like the way they explained it, you

(52:44):
didn't like any of that, Well, because that's not what
he came here for. But I think that's what the
genius of the show is, Like that exactly what was
being delivered, right, No, I mean like in that Disney
has found a way to be like they tapped into
so many people who are like I'll never watch Marvel movie.
I don't care about superheroes, but I really like this show.
But now you could just walk away from it and
be like, wow, that was like a good what six

(53:04):
episodes you got with stuff and then we can go
and now this next part will lead me into the
next like superhero part that right, right, all the humor,
all the humor and cheeky wink wink cleverness was gone.
Now it was just superheroes fighting. No, it was a woman.
Hasn't there hasn't been a superhero fight yet. There hasn't.

(53:27):
All your hat, there hasn't been a superhero fight yet.
You guys missed it. I was doing my visual throwing
throwing lightning bolts face x witch hands are perfect, which
is magic at us. Yeah, if you guys fucking want
to see my witch hands, I'll bring him to the
live show. Great should be bring the guest in. Oh
yes to Daniel GORDONI oh, give it up, but Daniel

(53:54):
guard Danny Hi, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel Gordonni, welcome to the
pro Ram. Thanks very much, thanks for having met his
white board in the background. You got a big white
board there, you got tats. You know, usually we we
we assess the background to see what your interests are.
So far we just know whiteboards and tattoos. Yeah, that

(54:14):
was mainly my interests. Those are my two hobbies. Yeah, um,
where are you calling from. I'm actually calling from Sweden?
Oh tak talk Yeah, I see what other Sweden I know?
I know. Isn't cuteie noose? Yeah, actually it is. Yeah yeah,

(54:36):
And you guys repeat everything twice. There's a lot of
like hi, Hi, Yeah exactly. It's quite annoying. I love it.
I've been in Stockholm a few times and it's such
an amazing city. I love it there. Yeah. Unfortunately it's
cold and dark every single hour after day. Right, so
this is the season when you guys are in like
full darkness, right. Yeah. I just say this on twice
this year. So explain to people like me who explained

(55:00):
to our listeners. Explain to our listeners. How long does
the period go where it's just always dark? Well, it differs,
but nowadays it seems like it starts from early on
in November to late on in February, early Mars. Then
there's some gleams of the sun. The summers are quite nice, actually,
and then in the summers the sun never goes away, right, yeah, exactly.

(55:24):
But since I lived by the coast, it rains almost
all the time, so it's not that great. I gotta
tell you, if the sun never came out, I would
fucking go shining on. I couldn't live there, I would
I would be like all work, no play, exactly, dull boy, exactly.
When I was a kid, I saw a movie. It
was a short and it was about these group of
kids who lived in the future when the sun and

(55:46):
the sun never came out. It came out maybe once
every year, and it was time for the sun to
come out, and they locked this girl in the closet
and the only way she could see the sun the
light creeps in from outside and through an under the
closet door for a little bit of time, and she
tries to touch the sun with her hands, you know,

(56:08):
on the floor, the light with her hands on the floor.
I imagine that's how it is for you, Han Daniel, Yeah, exactly.
You are starving for some light right now, for some sunlight.
You know how how's the vitamin D in Sweden? It's
like about this, Daniel, you probably have to take a
vitamin D supplement. That's right, we're diagnosing you with that

(56:29):
from fake doctor's real friends. You're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome.
By the way, Daniel, you could get one of those lights,
you know, the seasonal effective disorder lights. Do you have
one of those? You're probably order something. I'm telling you,
I really I don't know if it's a placebo or not. Again,
I'm a fake doctor, but I'm telling you I got
one of those when I was in I was doing
a play in London and it was like raining NonStop

(56:50):
and gray and I was just like, oh no, And
so I bought one of those lights. And I don't
know if I maybe it is a placebo. I think
there's some science to back it up. But I would
just sit by it in my dressing room and it
made me feel better. So that's what I would. That's
what I recommend you. Thanks. Do you have a question
for us, my friend? Yes, I actually have prepared two questions. Good. Um,

(57:11):
So my first one that's about Scrubs and mainly sees.
The Scrub is based on nine seasons. M So my
question is you too, is if you could change one
thing about the series throughout any season, what would I
be in terms of plots, storytelling, something about Jordan, your character?

(57:33):
I would change I would have made it so that
Turk and Carla get together season three or four, and
for one, two and three, Turk dates every actress in
Hollywood that comes on the show, like Jade. That's how
I would change it. Cally Berry, lord boy, he this

(57:57):
week King Like the list goes on and on, you know,
it just goes on. Um, So what why would I
want I want to change? Um? I think it would
have been great. I haven't thought of this question ever,
so kudos to you for a good question. I think
I think I could. It would have been interesting to
see JD actually face more heartbreak. You know, he's sort

(58:20):
of bizarrely this casanova who's you know. I know that
he's silly and funny and he's a doctor, so you know,
he's a decent and he's got a big heart, so
he's a good catch. But you know, he did a
lot of them dating and breaking up, and I think
it would have been interesting to see him get his
heart crushed. I mean, obviously there's a little bit with
Elliott and uh and the different men that she has,

(58:44):
but he always seems kind of okay with it. And
I think that heartbreak we've all been through, We've all
been on the side of it, like, oh, you don't
want to get a bed, you're fucking in pain, and
and some people get super depressed until they pull out
of it. And I don't think that's anything we ever
really cover that would have been good to cover, because
I think it's super relatable and and I think Bill

(59:06):
would have written it really really well, like when you're really,
really really suffering from from heartbreak nice. I agree. I
actually would like to see j Day gets struggle more
than he did in a series. Brout. Yeah, there's a
professional life or personal life. I agree. I agree, Um,
and it could have been obviously we would have been
Bill's mastery of making it traumatic and then funny. But

(59:31):
you know, I just think it's a it's it's just
a you know, it's such a human thing to go
through that a breakup and a painful one, and and
I just feel like JD was almost Teflon in a way.
He never really you know, he never really got two
down ever about any of these women. Now clearly part
of the story is that none of them matter to
him as much as Elliott. But even with Elliott, you know,

(59:54):
he's like fine with her, you know, I mean he
makes jokes about it, like nobody gives Sean but he
but you know, he's relatively fine with her dating. I
don't know, That's just what came in my mind. I
think I think that's all going to change when we
when we get later on. I think Keith and uh,
Sean definitely, I know, but there's never a moment, dude

(01:00:17):
where he's like, you know, like like like we've all
been like truly like depressed and and bummed out and
like I'm never gonna find anyone else, you know, he's
the narrator of the show. Would be really I think
it would be tough for anybody to watch the show
if that mixed in. Bro all right, Okay, sorry, sorry Daniel.

(01:00:37):
Someone Daniel just wanted to see your ass suffer. He's like,
I just wanted Jade. Daniel's like, why is there no
s and m scene? Um, all right, Daniel, those Swedes.
They're crazy, all right, Daniel, go ahead, another one, another question. Yes,
So unfortunately Monday Ruins runs the world nowadays. So my

(01:01:00):
question is to you, what would you do with unlimited funds?
Meaning what would you do with unlimited resources us as
people are on the show? Yeah, people, what would Donald
do with unlimited resources? He'd have like a fucking head.
First of all, he would have an unlimited O. No,
with unlimited resources, I try and give back to the
earth first, right, try to get back to society first.

(01:01:23):
If you have unlimited resources, what are you talking, right?
I think he doesn't want to hear about your fucking philanthropy.
He's playing a game with you, Like if you had
endless amount of money, what would you do with your life? Yes,
we know that you'd be charied. Oh okay, so and
then after after you've saved the world, I would build

(01:01:44):
a giant biodome. Oh and I would and like the movie, yeah,
but it would be gigantic like huge, like huge, and
I'd build anything and everything I wanted in it. And
I would isolate myself from the rest of the world

(01:02:05):
because in a few years, global warming is gonna take
over and we're all gonna be underwater anyway. But my
biodome No, your biodomey waterproof. I take it, like absolutely right.
My biodome would then become atlantis. I don't got it. Well,
I don't know I can top a gargantuan biodome um

(01:02:27):
that becomes atlantis, especially if I can't use all of
this money for philanthropy. I get because I could solve
all of that with one stroke of the pen. The
game is not fun if you're like, I give it
all the charity. No, the game is like what would
you fucking daydream in your brain? If you were Elon
musk Er, I would build a biodome slash arc. The

(01:02:51):
biodome is able to float when the no. No, not
just float, it also can submerge. It oh submuge. And
not only could it submerge, but it can also fly.
At some point it can hover in the sky like
the Avengers hellapad. I similarly, similarly, I believe, if I'm

(01:03:13):
not mistaken, Larry Ellison, who founded Oracle, has like the
biggest ultramega yacht in the world, and it's got like
submarines and helicopter pads and like, you know, the most
badass yacht in the world like your own. I would
love to have that. I'll take that. Yeah, if you
could survive the wave, you know what I mean, I'll

(01:03:36):
come visit you in your in your underwater biodome. Take
my submarine down to your fucking biodome. It's the way.
It's either gonna be wave or a heat or heat
one or the other. Or ice, wave, heat or ice.
What's another way the earth can end? We're going through
plague right now, lava famine, that's heat famine. Yeah. Um

(01:04:00):
you know. You know what else is happening nowadays is
that the birth rate is going down. You remember when
we were fucking no one's fucking remember when we were
depressed were kids, when our parents were kids. They were
so worried about the earth in the future of being
apocalyptic because we would have so much, so many people,

(01:04:20):
we'd be overpopulated. That didn't happen. Well, I mean I
think the population is still umlo, hold on, we're not
even let Daniel school you because population is problem. Hold on,
hold on, we're not even We're not even doubling our
So like if a fan, if a household is two people,
one person is being produced out of that household where

(01:04:43):
it's back in the nineteen fifties five. But that might
just be North America. I don't think that's globally. I
think I'm talking about him. I'm talking about America. Yes,
I don't know, Daniel, Well, we educate us. Why why
why is the declining what I think is American birthrate
a problem? If? If overpopulation is such a concern globally, Uh,

(01:05:09):
I think it's. I mean, it's too all right to
be honest with you. I don't have a spectacular answer here.
If you don't know, don't answer. But I just thought
you might know because you're so knowledgeable. Okay, that's very
kind of you. I mean, like, do I honor you, sir?
You certainly do. I mean overall, I mean, overpopulation is
already an issue. We're already taking more from the Earth
than we're putting back at all. Whether that's a climate

(01:05:29):
thing that we try and fix, our environmental paris climate
accord kind of issue that we can approach together. We
are still overfishing our oceans. We're still like you know,
we are eliminating the bee population. We are ruining our
opportunities to create more food for the amount of people
we have on the earth already. I think the declaring

(01:05:50):
the rainforest, rainforest all gone. There's so many there's a
lot of problems right now. I think. I think the
over I think the you know, we don't want a
children of men's situation where we stop having babies so
much that we don't have any we don't have a
next generation anymore. But that's not necessarily because of like
a disease. It's a million things. It's like a money issue,

(01:06:10):
it's a it's a but why This is my dumb
question that I'm sure someone listening knows the answer to
and is screaming at their phone. And I'm sorry, I
don't know the answer. But why if overpopulation is such
a big deal, why is our birth rate in the
US going down a bad thing? I got that if
we can look to Japan, who has last generation saw

(01:06:31):
a large decline in babies. Um, you then have an
older population without a younger population to support them. So
you have the system right, right, And then but then
you also have well, there's less workers, right, So we've
developed a system that requires x amount of workers to
reduced x amount of dollars to keep our economy going.
And you have less workers and an aging population that

(01:06:54):
cannot be supported. That a lot of issues for the economy.
That's that's the best way to put it. Joel, you
saw the same new because your answer was so much
more lucid than Daniels. I'm cutting mine, No, don't cut yours.
I think the audience sneeds to see that you can

(01:07:14):
be foiled. I certainly don't know everything. That's why it's
bull if you if you edit the show, you can
be like, I don't like the way I sounded there.
I'm taking no. I'll keep no. Daniel, do you ever, Daniel,
do you ever go back and like rerecord a more
articulate answer that would be back? Yeah, you guys, I
definitely would. Oh my god, if I would be like, wait,

(01:07:37):
I don't like what I said, let me yes, you know, Daniel.
You know, Daniel's up late one night, like, let me
rewrite that answer. I got too many beats to make
for Donald to worry about re saying something I said
on the show. All right, Ali, listen, it's time for
Sweden's favorite segment. Daniel, it's time to fix your life.

(01:08:01):
Thank you? All right? How can we help your life?
We cannot bring the sun to you, I'm sorry, I
did already fix your life. I did already fix your
life by telling you to buy one of those seasonal
effective disorder lamps on amazonic. We'll do go ahead. So
this is a more advice my life as Joel. I know,

(01:08:21):
I'm a medical student, so that means I'm about to
become a doctor into ulations. But growing up being a
doctor wasn't my main goal. I actually started thinking about
a more universal idea of healthcare. I've been traveling a
lot during my short period of lifetime, and I've seeing
many poverties around the world, and unfortunately in well, in Sweden,

(01:08:45):
we have three universal healthcare, so that's quite nice for us,
but mostly in a way you go, there isn't and
just basic healthcare isn't provided to most of children, adults
and many people around the world, and that's a huge
problem and mostly unfortunately people are capitalizing on this, and

(01:09:08):
that's a huge bomber. So I came up with a
plan or an I date to start my own organization
quite similar to Doctors Without Borders, but in a more modern,
nuanced way, focusing on these basicle primary care, not like
because doctor's outboards and mostly specialized care in traumatized areas.

(01:09:30):
So my idea for my organization or the charity organized
I wanted to develop is a more healthcare center throughout
these you developed countries, which is more focused on developing
or offering free healthcare in the most basic ways and
being supported by mostly buying medical students. Because throughout my

(01:09:51):
education as I have observed that many med students are
eager to go out to the world to help people.
And that's very hard to do nowadays, of course because
of the pandemic, but before also because it's very strictly regulated,
you can't really go anywhere to help people in a
way you can as a medical student as you're um

(01:10:13):
as you can because of this hard strict regulation and
the short periods that you can go, for example, in
the summers, there's many very few programs that let you
go on the summer to like volunteer somewhere. And I'm
so you're saying you want to develop a chair. He
wants to, Yeah, he wants to get students way more involved. Yeah.

(01:10:35):
When men's students are off for example the summer, and
they have and they have they have a lot of
knowledge and a lot of drive and a lot of
motivation and they want to go help people, but there's
no system that allows them to do that, is what
you're saying exactly, because it's a win win situation because
medical students in the late years are very competent, actually
very competent especial especially for these basic health Yeah, you're

(01:10:58):
not talking about doing certain help. Yeah, because it's a
trend nowadays to help people. Everyone wants to go to
a poverty country and help people, to volunteer. It's it's
more starting to act like a trend by the youth.
And that's like a win win situation for people. Alsone
wants to boast their resumes for the future and to
go to volunteer like this is also a huge boast
to getting jobs in the future. So it's like a

(01:11:21):
win win situation. But all this kind of structuring and
organization that takes money, and money doesn't come for free.
It's so, do you have a plan in play? I mean,
it seems to me again this is an area I
know nothing about, but that if you you're very articulate,
if you can, if you can really refine the plan

(01:11:41):
and and and and then put up a website that
will articulate the plan. You can start to build momentum
and get your message out there, and once it seems
legit and you can prove that it's legit, that will
attract potential charitable donations. Yeah, exactly. The ideas like to
develop healthcare centers that are placed throughout the world in

(01:12:05):
place that are needed is basic care of help. And
then to start off with some kind of donation model
that I've been thinking about and writing down. Of course,
to help the foundation going by getting voluntarily a donation
from the people. So my advice that I need from
you is how do I get started? Because I'm just

(01:12:26):
an oriented guy from a small country in Sweden, so
I don't have this kind of resources that I can contact,
like a public figure to get help or to get
cloud or to get like my name dropped, or the
organization the healthy. First thing, the first thing that comes
to my mind if if you were if you were
sitting next to me and you're my friend and you're like,
got any ideas kind of like you are, I would

(01:12:48):
say that you're very articulate and passionate about this. I
would make I would first of all, create a website,
and you can do that you know, very inexpensively, and
that I would make a really concise video, like maybe
a two minute pitch max where you explain this. And
you can have a friend, if you have a friend

(01:13:09):
who's good at video editing or you know, you can
find someone who can help you cut it together and
really just right to the lens, like explain your pitch.
And you know, I'm starting from scratch, but I'm passionate
about this. Please like and share, you know, maybe make
an Instagram account about it, because that's where everybody is
these days, and that will help to get you know,
you know, like anybody everything. If something's intriguing enough, it

(01:13:32):
will go. It can catch momentum, Joel, when you do this.
If and when you do this, Joel will put us,
We'll get us the video and will blast it out
on our social media. That that's the start. But I
think that you are so sincere and I think that
people will really respond to your message. You're saying like

(01:13:52):
this is the idea, especially if you're enrolling people and
saying I'm just starting I need your help, and this
is what you can do. If you have no money,
share this with your friends. If you've got five bucks,
put it towards this. If you've got one hundred grand
call me, you know, but whatever you do, something charming
and and and and rolling. That will get people, especially

(01:14:13):
your fellow med students, who are going to be interested
in this. They'll start sharing it and and telling other
people about it. Start with your community, so like, if yousolutely,
if you've got six great med school friends, like, start
with that. That's only going to grow from there. Because
when you start, when you like, make this legitimate by
by really thinking about making making a website where everything's

(01:14:36):
super lucid and super clear, like it's impossible to misunderstand,
you know, simple it is better with the video shorter
is better. If you can do your pitch in one
minute great like make it so clear that no one
could misunderstand it, and then give them an action. The
action is if you can't afford to donate to if
you yeah, call to action. If you can't afford to donate,

(01:14:57):
I plead with you to help spread the words, share
of this with all your friends. If you can donate,
you know, you'll have to set up a way for
people to donate to the foundation. You know, all that
stuff which is way beyond my pay grade. But that's
another thing I would do. Get someone involved who knows
how to build foundations. They might not even be a
med school student. They might just be someone who's passionate

(01:15:17):
about about doing charitable work. And team up with that
person so you can handle the doctor aspect of it
and be the face of it and be the person
who's enrolling people. But also someone with an expertise in
building a charitable foundation could really help you and get
you a good lawyer. Also at the end of the day,
because you're dealing with something that is that is you know, healthcare, healthcare,

(01:15:47):
all types of service that when it comes to health services,
eventually something will go wrong. You need somebody to watch
your back. Well I'm not even I of course eventually
you need that, but I'm saying like you'll need a
lawyer to navigate all the laws that you'll be having
to nounce that too, that too, but you're also going
to need a lawyer to I mean who knows how
who knows what uh come, what legal issues will come

(01:16:09):
up ahead when you're starting something, so uh, when you're
starting an initiative like this, Yeah, the good news is
you'll have some time because you know because of the pandemic.
I think, you know, you'll have you can use this
year as a building year, because I don't think I mean,
as far as I can tell, no one's going to
be able to really be going to random countries this
year exactly. Um. But but you could think of this as,

(01:16:32):
oh my god, this is my this is a sign
from the universe, this is the building year. And then
in twenty twenty two, we're gonna fucking explode this thing.
You know. Yeah I was fine like that, but I
got a white board right behind you. And also what's

(01:16:57):
really moving to me is that you live in a
country where all your healthcare is taken care of, right
you don't. You don't ever, you don't would anyone in
Sweden would a citizen of Sweden ever pay for you know,
I'm sure cosmetic shit aside for a for a non
cosmetic anything medical, would they pay for anyone? Basically no.

(01:17:19):
The healthcare is really easy, very easy, accessible and also free.
That made me like open my eyes because I'm very
very fortunate to be here. Ye. Also it's the real
things I shouldn't be here at all. I mean, when
I go like three hours south, I see people that
are living in the street and not able to die
by basic infections that could be solved by a two

(01:17:40):
year medical student that could just give them something. It's
so amazing because, you know, one of the things that's
moving to me is that you're you're saying, I'm so
blessed to live in this country where healthcare is so
figured out that you just no matter who you are,
you don't pay a dime. And I want to take
my knowledge and go help people that aren't in the system.
That you're a really good human being. It just seems

(01:18:00):
to me that basic healthcare should be a human right,
not just a citizen right. It seems so wrong that
it should be like a political debate where or not
it should be a basic human right. Like I agree,
you know in this country, if you really in this country,
even if you have great insurance, um, if something tragic

(01:18:21):
happens to you, you'll you you'll go broke. Yeah, So
in that sense, I would just ask, if I may,
if Joel could post my email address at your links.
So if anyone listening to this are interesting or are
engaged in this as I am, could I need all
the help I can. I can't do this, so long.
So that's great. Um, Joel will put your email in

(01:18:44):
the show comments, right, and make sure it's an email
that's not your personal one because you might be getting
dick pics and we don't want that for your two.
It's not for financial gain. So it's just he's not
trying to make a die him. You've heard his pitch.
He's just starting. If you're a med student and you

(01:19:05):
like what he's saying, email him. If you're a philanthropist
and you like what he's saying, get in touch with them.
If you're super rich and you're like, I want to
help this kid, he's the fucking future, then email him.
But um, but dude, really really amazing work, and please
keep us updated because when you do have some of
this up and running, Donald and I will both blast

(01:19:27):
it out on our on our instagrams and that'll at
least touch helpful to work on. So yeah, all right,
Well we can't say you're welcome to you. We can
say thank you to you, right, Thank you ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for Daniel Dandy. All right, thanks man,

(01:19:50):
thank you for coming on the show, and good luck
and your projects. Thank you, thank you for having me
what a guy. All right, Wow dude, wow wow wow wow.
And ladies us he's hot, so just if I need
to fill in a little color commentary, he's a very

(01:20:11):
good looking man. So guys still means still means no
dick picks guys. Okay, Um, but ladies, if you're single,
you might want to hit up the hot Swedish med student.
Let's get back into the show because we are going long. Yeah,
we're going along today. Um, Elliott got the janitor to

(01:20:32):
be doctor Reid. That was so funny. And you know
it's so funny is that Neil and the janitor is
he's he has being a janitor so in his blood
that he gets distracted by a smudge on the window.
The janitor is actually into cleaning. Like it's like you said,
it's so in his blood. Yes, he cannot hold his

(01:20:52):
performance as a doctor together because he sees a smudge
on the window. He takes out this preiod. He had
a little spray in his pocket and he's freezing. Yeah
that's his pocket, that's his pocket washer. That was really funny.
He got the little airport the airport container pockets right, Um,

(01:21:14):
what about um Julianna Marglie's and I are having sex
on the table and then Ted pops up. Did we win?
He's been knocked out the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah with the chest, back and face hair? What was that?
Oh the tattoo we get we cut to I've got yeah,

(01:21:36):
that's what it was, right, that looked really real by
the way. They did a good job. They did a
great job. It was on your chest and then it
was her back, and then on her back you had
her hair. So on your chest it was her face.
On the back it was her hair, like you couldn't like,
it wasn't enough that you had on your front. She
was like, no, they got to know that from it's
me from the back too. By the way, that work

(01:21:57):
would have taken like weeks and I want to take months.
Are you kidding me? Months? Because it has to line
up with the front too, had to line up because
it was amazing. I guess it was a decal because
I remember it. I don't remember being a somebody painting you, right.
I mean, first of all, that would have been really
really hard, and it looked great, So it was a decaal,
but it looked good. It didn't look fake. Um, what

(01:22:21):
what's this, Hey, there's no pie here? Was that the
Todd No? I feel I need to remember to write
down who said that. I listen, I watched this one
when we did the Richard kind one, so the same here.
So I spend a second two I wrote down, Hey,
there's no pie here. I don't remember what that is.
And then I wrote down, I fear I've said too much.

(01:22:44):
I don't know what. Oh it's Richard Kinde, Richard Kine.
So Richard Kine is brought into the room to talk
to Turk by Carla's Rights because she wants him to
admit that Turk is a good surgeon and that the
reason why he sued was because he was an asshole. Right.

(01:23:04):
So so the line is, hey, wait a minute, there's
no pie here. And so Turk is in the room
and he's like, wait a second, I see what this is.
You're trying to freaking intimidate me. You therely think that's
gonna work. Seriously? Is there no pie? He goes, you know,
he goes, he goes, he goes. You think that's gonna work? Seriously?
Is there no pie? Yeah? Pie? Um? And then he

(01:23:29):
says something I fear I've said too much. Yeah, well
that's after he said that. It's it's after he says
that he was a you know, because he was good
at tennis, people had to hang out with him. The
thing is, nobody likes him because he's kind of a jerk.
He's a jerk, but when they play tennis with him,

(01:23:50):
he has something that people admire and people want to see,
and so that makes them for however long it is
that he's playing tennis with them on the same level
because he's got that rocket serve, right, And so Carla's like,
so you did this, you tortured my husband because you
know you wanted to, because you feel I forget what

(01:24:13):
her exact words are. But then he says at the
end of what she says, I feel like I've said
too much because he divulges way too much information about
why he why he put Turk through all this, right,
you know, this episode is about women, strong, women saving
the day. You know, Carla, um Jordan, and Elliott all

(01:24:34):
save the day. It's also about women being on the
same side of each other, like you know, and and
you know, if if you're gonna, if you're gonna, if
you're gonna stand for something, stand with stand with someone
you know what I mean, who would stand by him? Now,
stand with somebody who stands for the same things that

(01:24:56):
you stand for. And this episode's about you know, woman
power and how you know, it's about so many things,
how it's unequal in the workplace, how it's you know,
this episode and it really talks about a lot of
the things that are going on right now and how
disrespected women are in the world period. And you know,

(01:25:20):
we address It's crazy that we've been addressing this for
so long and it seems like ten years from now
we'll have the same conversation again. You know, it's the same, absolutely,
but it's like it it gets frustrating, you know what
I mean. We we it took us the whole episode
to get there, and now that we're here, it's like,
dang man, this is still a conversation that we have

(01:25:42):
to have and we'll probably have it later on, just
like racial equality is the same. We'll have this conversation
ten years from now. We'll have all of this ten
years from now, hopefully, like you said, well we will
have taken steps forward. But you know, this is just
a reminder that this is an issue in the world
that needs to be dealt with and it's taking way
too long. Yep. I agree with you, Donald Faison. There's

(01:26:08):
that great quote who said that, Oh, it's it. It's
it's Martin Luther King Jr. I just um looked it
up because you were making me think of this quote.
The arc of the moral universe is long, but it
bends towards justice. You know. I wonder what the whole
thing was between Jordan and Julianna Margaliese's character because at
the end they go at it kill bill Stown. Yeah,

(01:26:30):
they do to kill bill fantasy thing, and I wonder
what the importance of that was in this storyline. When
you're showing such badass women, Well, they're showing because at
the time kill Bill was like Uma Thurman was like
such a badass. So it was like, we're gonna have
Jordan be the ultimate badass woman and save JD from
this abusive relationship, right and then and then to pay

(01:26:51):
her off, he has to break in her jeans, right
and then he smacks his ass. Yeah, rights were so tight, um.
And then then we end with the tiny versions of us,
which I had forgotten. It was really cute us. His
kids is cute yeah, all right, well I think we
did it, Donald Phazon, I did we ran along. This

(01:27:11):
is almost a two hour episode. We gave you a
long one, and thank you everybody for tuning in. Don't
forget to mark your calendars for the twenty six. Is
the twenty six. We'll be on Drew Barrymore tomorrow, and
we're gonna be on Drew Barrymore tomorrow on the CBS.
Never all right, guys, we love you storybut Shore, we

(01:27:35):
made about a bunch of dots and nurses said he's
a story. Never so get around here, yea around h

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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