416: My Quarantine THE LIVE SHOW

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh hello, oh my god, Oh my god, oh Joe,
woo hollo, oh oh my gosh, look at it. Go
I can't even see it. Well, how are you? I'm
so good? Is this It's our show now, we own it.
It's our show now. Oh yeah, yeah, they're they're they're
off doing something else. It's our show now. Hello everybody.

(00:22):
I am DJ Daniel and with me is the ever
this way is the ever talented, wonderful Joel Monique. Thunder
thunderous applause in the chat for Joel Monique one time, Joe,
how are you doing right now? Listen? Today has been
one of those days where I'm just like so anxious
and excited and I had to, like I smoke a
bowl like way early it's morning to like calm down,

(00:44):
like really leisure focus in there. But I'm so excited.
I'm just gonna be so much fun. You guys, we
have so much like you're not prepared for the amount
of stuff we're about to jam pack in the next week. Stuff. Yes,
we definitely have two hours of a lot of a
lot of fun to do today. Um, before we start that,
we want to draw your attention to some straw poles Joel,

(01:05):
do you want to tell him how straw poles are
gonna work? Yes, okay, so we created a test straw
pole for you guys. So our question, our opening question
to you guys is do you watch the Scrub Show
while you listen to the recap podcast so you can
come to this link right now and let us know
we're gonna we're gonna come these results later. But of course,
the main event, the main reason for the season, is

(01:27):
because y'all are going to pick a date for me
tonight and it's gonna be really exciting. It's gonna be
so much fun. Let's stoked listen. But obviously we're bearing
the lead here. You guys came here to see the
two Kings, us to see our lord's favorite, right, Yes,
that's right. Should we give them the proper introduction? Yeah,

(01:47):
let's let's do this. Uh. Zach is the king of emotion.
He will direct the hell out of a movie. Okay,
he's gonna make your gut split with laughter and fun times. Yeah, Donald,
it's gonna think to you sexually, gonna bring his hershey,
kids and nipples in here. Oh, he's fun us all

(02:10):
amazing life, just my vacious energy. Oh my god, that's fantastic. Well,
I guess ladies, gentlemen, all folks and friends of the
Fake Doctor's podcast, make some noise for the legends themselves,
Zach Braff and Donald Fas All right, keep me going,

(02:33):
do everything? Hit term? What's all? That's good? Man? Oh?
I can't believe this is happening, you guys. I have
not wiped been able to wipe the smile off my
face all day. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I can't believe

(02:54):
we actually did this. There's a lot of nervous energy
going on with me right now, like I got I
got goosebumps, and like I've been thinking about this all day, Joel,
I heard an enter that you smoked the boat. Do
you want to tell them all? I tried to FaceTime
all y'all, get y'all in on a session, but none
of y'all wanted to join me. I was the only
one who picked up, was in the background going. I

(03:16):
told them not to and not too much because we
can't any face. There's no clipping we're cutting around that.
I know. We had a whole conversation. We had a
whole conversation with Donald, Like look, there's no editing, so like,
let's talk about the level of how high you should be.
But my whole thing was, I haven't been sober once
doing this as far as we goes, I haven't been.

(03:36):
I haven't been, and so I'm not going to be
this time. I did smoke a boat early though. Okay,
good behind your medicine. Hey everybody, we're so glad you're here.
We had talked about, you know, if you've listened to
the show as you I imagine you do. We had
talked right off the bat, as you know, joking about like, oh,
we're going in a world two or once the pandemic's over,
how cool Donald and I will finally live our dream

(03:57):
to be like touring rock musicians in a tour bus.
And then the pandemic so then we said, oh maybe
we'll do it virtually we never were able to do it.
And I just feel so grateful that we're here, and
I'm so grateful that you are here and that you came,
and um, we're gonna give you the best show ever
we have been, like, put work into this. We're not
fucking around, right Donald, No, we're not messing around. This

(04:17):
is this is real deal. Holy Field. Listen the energy
that it took. I've been watching this episode for like,
I've seen it like four times already. That's the most
I've watched the Scrubs episode for ever, ever, just ever. Look,
I'm really I'm really excited for this one. We got
great guests. Yes, we've got anything. Don't give any secrets

(04:39):
to it. You guys have pages of notes like this
is a real you know, when we do the podcast,
we watched the show, but this is a live show
across the globe. We've done homework, we have guests, we
have a Joe. Let me talk about what's gonna happen.
Get into it. Let's start it. Okay, So we have

(04:59):
we're gonna rap. We're recap my quarantine for you guys. Okay,
that's the episode, okay, Um, and we have special guests
Bill Lawrence, who were going to bring on in one second.
We have Florence Pugh is gonna teach you how to
make a martini. I believe. Um, you're just telling me
not to give it away. And then here you go,
just starting. You're the biggest niche ever man. Well I

(05:21):
supposed to like well, okay, full disclosure. I think Florence
on her socials had said to her people like, I'm
gonna be on. I thought it was out there in
the zeitgeist. But okay, pretend I didn't see that. We've
got somebody. We've got you know that thing they used
in Men in Black that they hold up and you forget. Yeah,
I'm holding that up. Okay. Um. And then most excitingly,

(05:42):
of course, we're gonna recap the show, and then and
then we're gonna do a Joelle Find Joel a lover segment,
which I'm very excited about. Look how beautiful you look?
You you? You looked outstanding glow glow, I know, but
I mean you should get a thunderous applause for the
Queen of Dannel the sound powder works. I got it.

(06:03):
How do you do? Look beautiful? I'm gonna tell you
that right now. This took time, so I really appreciate
the validation. You look really pretty wonderful. Um. And then
there's and then um, and then there's a lot more.
I don't want to ruin because now Donald made me nervous.
I'm going to ruin ship, all right, So we have
a very special Uh, well, how do you want to
five six seven, eighth, This time, Donald, how do you

(06:25):
want to how do you it's your your thing? How
do you want to? Launch into the very special version
of the theme song. What are you talking about? Just
let's go five six seven? Hey, here's some sorry, here's
some sorry, here's you do it live. Welcome to the show,

(06:46):
guys and girls, or however you identify the world. It's
up with us tonight. This shit about to be live.
Get lighters in the sky. Here's a story about the
show we made back in the day when I was young.
I was still that age with some days. I think
it's crazy what we did. Like in this episode, they
Callatine the hospital. Danny got it right, She says Starr sucks,

(07:08):
and I agree with her. Jadie got a new girl man.
He also got to Uncle Petever, Turk finds out Carla
went on a David Cox, so in his mind, Carler
probably Cox, Doug and Ted Bite are the right to
simple dandy. Nurse Roberts has a frisk gay twarted by
so Manny, but she's so freaking sent g She said
nobody can't have handy and Mick has reversed cow Girl,
You're welcome. Lends me this so much to disgust that

(07:30):
so much to disgust. There's only one rule that's ha
fun and it's a musk. If you can't do that,
then you can't fuck with us. Fake Doctor's Real Friends
is about to bust all upon your like an, Oh
my god. I went to par I digress on this.
YO started up BOXIX seven eight stories about show. We

(07:54):
made a lot of bunds of the docs and nurses said,
he's a story around here, Yeah around? Oh wow, radio brilliant. Wow.

(08:21):
So much to say, But first, let's welcome the legend.
The reason we all are here are mister Bill Lawrence Thunder.
I'm gonna see you guys. Are you good? Donald? Sorry,
I'm conflating two things. Bill welcome, but Donald, that rap,
Holy shit, that was amazing. Oh you're a very nice
gentleman and a scholar for saying that. I like how

(08:44):
you broke it down. Sir. Well, you know I'm gonna
say this. I will say this. It's not my best rap,
but it's the happiest rap you've ever gotten on the
Fake Doctor's Real Friends ever. We've never we've I said
that to Dan. I was like, we've always been real,
Like rizzle with everything where it's like WU tank forever

(09:05):
play it very Oh sorry, hold on, I never got
what are you doing, Bro, I've been busy. I never
got around to labeling the soundboard. I have to look
and then no one's watching Bill. It's fine. On my
computer it says six hundred thousand people. God, six hundred

(09:27):
thousand people. Bill. Bill tell everyone, Um, the you're the
conversation you you witnessed when you came over. We're all
so tomorrow we're doing um, we're recording the Family Feud.
The five of us are going to be on a
team for Family Feud and we're going up again and
we're playing Neil Flynn who plays the janitors improvably. Um, yeah, janitors.

(09:55):
And so it's gonna be hilarious and unfortunately doesn't air
the summer, so you'll have to wait, but it's gonna belious. Anyway,
I had to get tested. They came over to my
house everyone so everyone could be tested. And then Bill
tell them, tell everybody what you overheard the debate about
Donald Remember. Yeah, it's a couple of things. First, Joel,
you look amazing. I'm sorry that zach insinuated that you
don't look amazing all the time. Sounded like, yeah, definitely

(10:18):
what it sounded like, that's the first she's got the
multiple date. By the way, it's every day. And then, um,
I was waiting for you guys that went on Twitter
and there's someone named Eleanor Samara RaRo that said, I
might get the name wrong, but I don't care, because
she said Bill Lawrence might be on there, but I
don't care. Zach and Donald or the Soul and so
Eleanor if you're I know you're watching, she said, you

(10:39):
watch them deimate it's ridiculous. Hey, I'm not the show
stops till Eleanor quicks off. And I can see everybody
that's telling you Eleanor Eleanor, we love you. You stay on. Yeah,

(11:00):
you just home and you're kicking out audience members. I
got a lot of names that have to go. This
is not a big has to go. By the way
I came on. Second was Ryan Reynolds on you? Is
he coming on later? Yeah? No, Ryan Reynolds, look down
the audience, please, what are you doing? He'll break it

(11:23):
down and now tell everyone about the conversation. You don't
tell me what to do, will tell me what to
do on my podcast, I went over to over to
Ze House and where you think two adults would be
rehearsing and talking about the tech aspects of the show
with Daniel and Joel. Uh. They were arguing as to

(11:43):
what level of high Donald could be on their wives show,
and Uh, it made me realize that you twour adults
and how proud I am doing numeracle value seven high
but not in eleven high? Was Donald was being so
earnest because he was like, well, I've always done this
show high. I don't want to do it a zero,

(12:03):
like I need to be it at least six at
least like he was doing it for the show. You
mean right, Well, listen man, Okay, I'm gonna be honest
with you. There was a bit, there's a bit of
exaggeration when I said I did the whole thing run
of scrub Stone, Like it wasn't the whole run. It
was like season three four, Like Windows All is like

(12:25):
one hundred and forty out one hundred and eighty episode
exactly exactly. Bill show. Everyone you're wearing new ted lassos
swag that isn't even out yet. Everyone's gonna want this
lass swag. Well, you can't buy this yet. But by
the way, you guys never give me any of your merch.
I would wear your merch all the time. So I
will rock that last me up with. This will be

(12:49):
zax and that will be Oh. Charlotte shows the jersey.
What does it say? What's up exactly? He says, it's
pretty solid. Man, I'll get this one for you. Back
of the jersey boam. Oh my gosh, yes I need that.
But Bill, please, they're not out. Excuse me, they're not
out yet. So if you're clamoring for them, when did

(13:11):
they come out? Bill? When does everything get it? Uh?
You know what, man? I think it's it's not up touch.
But I bet you Apple releases them and puts them
out in different places before the second season premieres. All right, well,
I'm very excited to have one. What about what about Charte? Wait,
he's got another outfit? I'm sure I do. But by
the way, I couldn't fit please short song because I

(13:33):
got a little fat drink Quarantine. That was the other shirt?
Is that all? Bill? You might not even realize the
genius tieing you're doing, because in this episode my Quarantine,
it opens with that joke about JD having the different
layers of outfits on them. They only work altogether. That's
where I got the idea. Dude, Okay, god, you're good.
I'm just fat. I couldn't do four T shirts. I

(13:55):
got the T shirt I'm actually wearing on them. Do
this one. Okay, it's all gonna be fine. Well, I
don't have on my sheet Bill. I don't know on
my sheet bill strips. The classic Bill Lawrence looks is
if you want, everyone wants to know where JD did
the tea layered T shirt. It's all classic Bill. That
is how Bill dresses every day, the layered T shirt

(14:17):
solid fifty two years. Yeah, right? Um? All right, well, Joel,
why don't we start with our first segment and ask Bill?
Can we can you? Um? Do you have any questions
from the chat? Now? If you're in the chat, do
you have any questions for Bill? You know we like
to do ask Bill will now's your chance if you're
in the audience. Um? Uh is that one for me, Joel?

(14:38):
For Bill? Yeah? A good one. Okay, Bill, do not
look at the chat. You are a guest on the show.
Is we've been through this before. My eyes are very blue.
Thank you, whoever that is, that's very cool. Um. Bill,
this is the first question for Bill, um um. Hi, guys,

(14:59):
how long did it take you all this for all
of us, but Bill, you'll start with you to realize
the therapeutic impact Scrubs had on the audience. It's gotten
me through a lot of difficult times. And I hear
I'm sure you guys hear this all the time. So
many people write us very genuinely, not joking and all
saying that it got them through very sad times of
their life. And this person saying, I mean through difficult times,

(15:19):
and I could relate on so many levels. It's Stephanie
from Montreal, Quebec. So Bill, at what point did you
realize that the show was having a therapeutic effect on people?
It was really pulling a lot of people out of
shitty times in their life. Just now from Stephanie. Now
for really, you know, social media was just starting to
be a thing back then, and it was more though.

(15:41):
There's a website, so you guys, remember it's like TV
without pay and stuff like that, and you can go
and read threads and we were so you know, genuinely
grateful and still are that people cared about the show emotionally.
But you guys know you had him on as a guest.
I always give props to the real j D because
he and his wife Dolly, you know, the medical I
was in the show and doctors it was kind of
based on. He had one rule for me. He's like,

(16:03):
you can steal any of my stories. You can do
anything that you want, but these people always have to
give a shit and they always have to be of
service and be trying their best to help six people. Um.
And so you know, I think just kind of seeing
that emotional ethos you know, on screen, it means so
much to me that that it moves people still sometimes
you know, yeah, me too. I'm always taken aback by

(16:26):
some of the things people write me um on DMS
or even in public they'll say like, you know, so
you know a lot of people say, hey, man, love
the show, and then some people are like, no, you
don't understand. Like I was in a shitty time of
my life and it really helped me. And and uh
and just know that we that we that means so
much to us and we're so grateful when when you
say that stuff. But that's also from from from people

(16:48):
in the medical field. Also the amount of gratitude that
we perceived. Also just thanking just the thanks that we
get from them. Like I have a lot of people
that come to me when I was in when I
was a medical student, I was you know, Scrubs really
got me through school or it really helped me out
in the beginning of my internship. And that's always first

(17:10):
of all, how to hected Were you able to watch
it during your internship all the hours that you had
to work? But like he just answered back that person,
I'm not that great a doctor. Just that's a good
segue into everyone from the medical field, who I imagine

(17:32):
a lot of people are watching. We from the bottom hearts,
thank you so much for being the heroes that you
are and for being frontline workers during this insane time.
And uh we we we we hope you know, we
sort of ceremoniously dedicate the show to all of you,
because you know, I think Bill's Bill's scripts were meant
to show what what what heroic people these are. Little

(17:56):
did we know that we'd be going through a time
like the last year. But thank you from the bottom
hearts to all of you who happened to be watching
you're under some plaus don't worry. I got it on
the soundboard, all right, good? Can you do people know
that you keep that active at your house at dinner
parties and stuff. Daniel finally figured out the tech to

(18:18):
have it work on the podcast, but I think now
I'm going to have it throughout my house so I
can just walk around work on that. Thank you, Thank
you Janel. Okay, here's another question, um bill. Yes, if
ted Lasso was a patient at Sacred Heart, Okay, why
why do you think he was admitted? And what kind
of shenanigans would Turk and Chdy get into with him? Uh? Look,

(18:42):
I mean, look that's apropos at least because the episode
we just saw, you're so obsessed with Lonnie's mustache and
how quickly he was able to grow that thing. I mean,
you would find ted Lasso's mustache just glorious. Yes, to
write an episode right now, it would probably be kind
of mandible or jaw issue that there was a chance

(19:03):
you would have to shave that thing off and do
a story like the way that they used to do
stories about whether or not you try to save someone's leg,
about saving Ted's mustache. You know, happy like sorry, I'm sorry,
um Ted. In order to fix the thing in your
in your gums, we're gonna have to remove the mustache.

(19:27):
I will roll the dice with my life before I
cut this thing off. That's what Ted would go with.
This is a good one. Jeff Holtzer, if you had
to create characters for Daniel and Joel on Scrubs, what
characters would you create for them? Very good question, Jeff.
All right. Well, by the way, Daniel does the question,
honor you don't worry. I got it. I got it

(19:50):
on the soundboard. Danel, you honor me. It's pretty easy.
I go, I go, uh Joel, you guys know is
gonna be in charge of the hospital. Should be the
only one that I'm Kelso is afraid of. Yep, he'd
be laying down the law. I gotta go with Daniel
as part of the Janitor's brain trust with Troy, with

(20:11):
Troy and crazy Eyes Margo, what name would his character have?
Same name, DJ Daniel, but Neil Flynn going. You guys
know crazy guys, Margo and you know DJ Daniel. Awesome,
Oh my god, that'd be so funny. And I can

(20:31):
picture him in the egg salad uh, kitty bath with
Troy and the janitor. I would love to have seen
Joel coming and just fuck some shit up though, man
and just up also kelso afraid of Joel, Like it
would be fucking hilarious. Yeah, that would be funny. All right,
here's a good one from from Max Firstman, Bill, face

(20:53):
cake played a big part in this episode. Was it
a thing on set before this episode or did it
become a thing? Where did your obsession with face cake
come from? Bill? No, that's it? Is it just the
writer's room. Somebody, for one of their birthdays had a
cake with their face on it, and I maintain the
only thing that makes a birthday cake better is if
you get to eat that person's face. Became a writer

(21:18):
room obsession with a face and as all room bits
eventually made their way into the show, someone was like,
everybody in the hospital should be obsessed with face cake.
I remember there being one writer in the room. Would
be like, but it doesn't taste any different than normal cake.
You like, that's not the point in this episode. In
this episode, Nurse Roberts is like, it looks like you
got some of my neck, But is it? She says?

(21:43):
Nurse Roberts nurse. She's able to recognize on Gils thumb,
but to make sure she puts the thumb in her
mouth and sucks it up. This is not in well
for you. Yeah. Now, I love stuff in Scrubs, Bill,
where it's like everyone says like a term like like

(22:05):
face cake, which which isn't like a term I heard
of outside of Scrubs. Everyone knows it. They're like that
face cake. That is the only way to make it
work is that everyone in the hospital loves face cake
and they knew there was a facecake up there. Otherwise
it's just some idiot. Last question, last question of of
this second Yeah, go, go right a question, Okay, this

(22:27):
is um simon um. Bill. We saw a flash forward
of jd Elliott, Turk, Carlin Cox Jordan the finale. What
did the Janitor's future look like a hypothetical narrative in
your mind? And don't say he went on to in
the middle like the middle. Yeah, I know, that's too easy.
The gosh, you know, um it's one of them. Come on, yeah,

(22:51):
well no, I really do want to believe that the
Janitor is I'll tell you for real that Neil Flynn
still wears the wardrobe in rooms around Studio City, just
talking to be same, a lot of Starbucks, just living life.
Is that guy? Um? The tomorrow one family feud? How
funny would be if he came in Conte. Now I
want to believe some other event. Do you guys think

(23:13):
his name is? Because I answered someone on Twitter? Do
you think his name is Glenn Matthews? Um, I that's
the one that no. But then what does he say? Um?
Then someone then someone else walks by, walks by, down state,
walks back. He smiley says it's Glenn Matthews. And he
said that easy. And he says, you never asked. And

(23:34):
by the way, that's a good Easter egg. We made
sure that JD never once in nine years asked the
janitor his name. Uh, and the janits like anybody asked
me my name? And tell him Glenn Matthews. And then
Deanty walked by and he said, hey, Tony, yeah, but
in your mind you just I think you told me
before that that that just meant that he had to

(23:55):
de Aunty's character. He like he had lots of different names, right,
he was ting I stud Yeah from f from is
also a lot of people told me. He also had
to be Neil Flynn because he was in The Fugitive,
which was another fake name of the janitors y R right,
and then um um we decided his name was Glenn Matthews,

(24:16):
and we decided as a writing staff and was an
easter egg. We never gave people hints from. We named
him on Clone High, where he also was animated and
played the janitor named Glenn. That's amazing. Okay, so what
so what in your mind? What is his? I mean,
I feel like Matthews a everyone you heard it here
on the Fake Doctors Fish Show. Wow, there Glenn Matthews.

(24:39):
Let's see what else? Daniel? This is the timeout and
can we do five six seven eight live? Ever? No,
I'm not not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.
I'm not gonna do It's a time out, but it
does work. It works, but we're asking you to obey
the rules. Brod I was asking a time in five
seven eight. It's gonna done, Dan, Daniel, what it's like,

(25:08):
I'm programmed? It's you can't. I'm sorry, I just I
did you actually hit it? Because I didn't even hear it.
I didn't even hear it. If you did hit it.
We were quick to it. We were too quick. Okay, okay,
um all right, Um, now we're gonna go Bill stop it. Bill. Yeah,

(25:39):
Oh my god. Okay. Now now we're gonna go to
a very special thing. I'm gonna skip I'm gonna skip them,
Joel in my script, I'm gonna skip the next segment
for us for a moment and go to. Um. So, guys,
the band that wrote our theme song um Laslow Bay Baying,

(26:02):
and the lead singer is my friend Chad, and uh
he sent a very special little something something for all
of you. So here we go, Kyle, queue it. I
can't do this song on my I need Zach Braffan,
Donald Boncauz. I no superman, I'm no super so. I

(26:45):
love that. I think it's a great time to talk
about Star Wars now though no no no no no, no, Donald,
no no. But he's such a fan of the podcast
and he listens and he sent that to me. I
didn't even requested. He said, I love what you guys
are doing, and I made you a little special something
and I obviously through in the Star Wars for you,

(27:06):
my friend Chad, I love you. Did he write that
song for this show when because I remember you telling
me about him or did this song exist? And then
we put it in the show. Um, that song I loved.
You know, Chad and I are friends and Las Lobine
was a great band, and um, and I said to you, um,
you know, I the lyrics of this song are so

(27:26):
perfect for it already existed. It was all It was awesome.
I remember you plant it for me. Yeah. I was
like the whole idea of like, I can't do this
on my own. I'm no Superman. I need this, you know.
It just seemed like the whole the whole show was
in that song, and you loved it, and and um
and well you know, for those of you who don't
know that it's a that it's a full song. Obviously,
it's not just our intro song. It's called I'm No Superman.

(27:46):
And you can if you actually, if you go on YouTube.
I directed the music video for it, so we did.
I wrote the I wrote the song with Chat. It's
something I'm really really proud. Rushed it. But any there's
my girl Billy making her first cameo. That dog barks Man.
You gotta get that dog out of there at that
dog stars bar she's so good. We were there like

(28:08):
and she was so sweet and quiet. Queen, she's not
gonna bark um. Um. Yeah. Well anyway, so, um, so
we made a music video that was really fun and
um if you want, you can find it on YouTube.
It's called um yeah everything Superman. Yeah. I think it's

(28:29):
called Superman or anything. But anyway, the the the videos hilarious. UM.
All right, we're before we recap the series. We're about
to have a special guest who's going to commence Special Guests?
Are you ready? Special guest is still um? Is still

(28:54):
setting up? Um, let's start to talk about until special
guest is ready, Let's start talking a little bit about
out this wonderful episode. I hope you guys watched. Oh wait, Joel,
should we check in with the poll to see, um
what people have answered on the do they watch live
with us? Thank Kyle, can you put that up? Okay? Wow, okay,

(29:20):
majority seems like a lot of people do. But we
need more of you to vote, okay, because you know,
let's get some more. It's not going to get to
the end of the thing though, is it. I don't know. Well, anyway,
they're voting, right now oh, look the votes are coming in. Okay,
it's kind of Kyle. Do you want to say Hi?
This is Kyle, who's in charge of all the video
aspects of this. Kyle, do you want to legend le?

(29:44):
I'll give you applause. That's Kyle. Everyone, Sorry, ladies, Kyle
is a new member of the live version. Yeah, Fake
Doctor's Real Friends. WHEB we do a live version Fake
Doctors Kyle. Most likely we'll be with um what's that? Okay,
Now it's time for a special guest, Daniel. I'm gonna

(30:05):
have to unplug my headphones. I hope that's gonna be okay.
It's that gonna be okay because I both me and
the special guest need to be able here. If some
chance it ends the podcast, we've all this blode. I
think it'll be okay. Okay, we're gonna try it. Hey
now you now, hey, now, she's all right. Now listen, y'all. Um,

(30:34):
you may know that you're gonna put it right here.
I'm gonna you guys may know that um Florence is
a really great chef. Well she's I think she's I
think she's okay, Oh, you can't see my amazing back

(30:56):
up the camera right there. Now, you are going to
have a quick lesson our guests on how to make
a martini. Okay, not just a martini? All right, baby,
get tell them what they're gonna get. How Florence likes
her martini martini? Yes, that you're lying about? Are you

(31:17):
changing the angle? Backing up a little bit? Okay? All right,
So first you need a good vodka, your vodka of choice.
Am I going to hear like this? Am I looking
to the okay? Number two bottles of that vodka? Greg,
please or whoever I want? We all get show the
labels so we all get free vodkas. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

(31:38):
please give us. Oh yeah, we we love Greg. Yeah.
I can make a jingle about the suit too. No,
I just put a jacket on. I'm really wearing radio Racko.
You want my shirt? No? You look good? Oh that's

(32:00):
from do the right thing. And look how beautiful Joel looks.
I know I've noticed the eye makeup. That's what beautiful
eye makeup? Bell? Where's your eye makeup? I'm doing the
best I can. You guys, Before I put on my glasses,
which is a gesture that I want to see every
little thing that you do here. Also, for a second
I thought you were wearing a wedding dress, and I panicked,
and then I put my glass on. I don't look

(32:23):
a bit Midsummary, doesn't it now that I'm looking at
it in the lens anyway down, I'll like your shirt too,
Den wore. I didn't miss it very much. Okay, back
to a martini, how Florence likes it. Second, you need
a good glass. Make sure you have a nice martini glass.
Respect the drink. Now, usually I take this out of
the freezer just before I pull the vodka in. So

(32:45):
instead I've taken out of the freezer and put some
ice in it so that it's still chilled. You are
going to fill up your cocktail shaker with some ice,
with one single ice peak, which you will say, take
a long while, but that's okay. I'm gonna use my hand,
but I'm drinking it, so it's technically okay, all right, Daniel,

(33:09):
And ice is like facecake. It's all good. Then you're
going to pour in set amount. I'm gonna say that
amount fingers crossed. That's okay. That sounds good to me.
So this is where I imagine music would be playing

(33:32):
like Daniel, you know what's song? I like not gonna
judge you when you're wear somebody else. Long did you
swear you don't bess when I do it myself. Let's
and say we Daniel the other duo, the other due
with song? Yes, well at a time now maybe yeah,

(33:56):
because it's complicated, it's all way which do leap us
all the one we entered too. Just while she's shaking
some shaking, I'll go off so that it's a really
cool entrance. Okay, right, want you, gentlemen, friends of the
Fake Doctor's podcast, make some noise for the wonderful, the talented,

(34:22):
get plush show. That's trouble, keeping going, keep going, And
then you're gonna open it. And then you're gonna put

(34:44):
this little strainy thing on. Before you do that, you're
gonna chick your eyes out. You're gonna wipe the inside
of the glass with some lemon peel. Now, I don't
like the mooth in my martini, apologies, but this is
a martini asked Lwrence likes it. And then you're just
gonna shake your goodness right into that. Wow, Wow, I

(35:10):
want it. Wow, good for you. I'm gonna tell you
something right now, that's not fair because I wanted to
I wanted to have some type of cocktail or uh,
you know, some of God's wonderfu lettuce and I wasn't
able to do any of that for this podcast because
I was ridiculed by Zach. Zach told me not to
do it, and and we can do well, you guys

(35:33):
kind of put the you're not supposed to have fun
on me situation? You guys high would you like to
show everyone how you pack a ball? No? I have
it because I'm not on the podcast, right yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

(35:54):
yeah yeah, all right, thunder supplause everybody from my gal
for make it and I'm in the room. You now
know how I like it. I know how to make
you a martini. Nice baby, I got you. Well that
was that was awesome. And she's the best and cutest

(36:16):
and funniest guest star on the planet and I've seen
her cook porch and he's a great at it. But
I'm pretty sure that recipe was vodka and ice. Yeahs
It's literally the first I was able to remember. Right
after the second a conversation. A martini is just vodka

(36:38):
and ice, like just because you spray a bit of
a mouth in. It doesn't make it any weekend. It
is just vodka over ice. Hey, there's no judgment here.
I'm happy. I'm happy that I can remember the Hey, Bill,
do you know how to make a martini? I do?
I do. Get a bucket of vodka. You won't be
able to hear though, babies. The only thing, um Daniel

(37:00):
didn't give me another set of umanel will it? Daniel?
Will it mess up the sound if I um play
this just out of my laptop so she can hear? Probably, well,
we'll hear it, alter everybody. We'll hear it through the microphone.
It'll be a little bit of the doubling. I mean,

(37:21):
you know who knows what she's Well, we'll see. She's
gonna try. We we tried that. If she plugs headphones
into the line out? Will that work of the six? Yeah?
We should probably do forty or four? Changed the audio
out and then my thing, No, thank god, My day

(37:45):
was phil. Kids. You'll just going basketball now? Oh dude,
by the way, watch how big is he now? Can
you can you actually dribble ball? Handle? Is he old
enough to do that stuff? Yeah? He's starting to learn.
He's starting to watch basketball on TV. So he likes
Anthony Davis and the It's the drink come true. Man,
wake your kid and take him out of bed to

(38:08):
watch ESPN or sports with you at night. It's just
it's just good. I love it. I love it. It's
starting to happen slowly, but surely. He's really into soccer
and he's really into basketball. It'll be like when Zach
eventually takes just Case and Oklahoma and stuff, you know,
because I don't know what they're doing. All right, you guys,

(38:29):
let's get into the show. All right, all right, let's
do it. We're talking about um episode Uh what's the
number Joel from My Quarantine? Oh? I think sixteen. I
think it's seas in four, episode sixteen. Right, all right,
so Bill explain everyone. There's a term in Hollywood called

(38:50):
a ball. There's Rocko, se Hi rocket up. You like basketball?
Yeah right, Mack. Hey, dude, how are you doing? You're
asking you a questions. I don't know if you can.
I'm sorry. Hey, Rocco, what's up? Man? Yeah? You got good?
I'm be doing good. You're doing good? M hm? How

(39:14):
many did your dad? Rocco? Every time you touch the
ball in your basketball game? Does your dad yell shoot? Okay? Shoot? Yeah?
We do want to like when you do the most?
What do I like it when you do shoot? Yeah,

(39:37):
that's touch a boy. Thing shoots right, Like I want
to text this back ball thing you say, okay, shoot,
you just summed up your dad's personality. I love it
every time you touch the ballot. I didn't like. You

(39:58):
gotta go, kid? Are you gonna go? You gotta go?
I love you, I love you, my god. You can
give me a hug of the kiss. I'll take one.
My kids are all older. But get in here, Dave. Okay, anyway, okay,

(40:29):
let's get back. Let's refocus. So sad before you go.
I just watched that. I got emotional. This is true.
My my daughter's twenty, she's not she't live here. My
son is eighteen. And this is what he did to
me last night. You know, I so excited. I went
into the kitchen. He was in the TV room at
eleven o'clock, um watching television, and all I wanted was

(40:50):
for him to be like, come over, watch sports or
or any of the moments Donald just had. And he
looked back at me, and I looked at him. I'm like, hey,
he goes good night. Oh no, man, I was. I'm not.
I'm not going to bed. I just like you, meaning

(41:12):
this is my space. Yeah, good night. I can't do
anything I'm doing out here if you're here. So you know,
I'm good night. I'm on life for it. I'll be
right back after these fine words. All right, let's get

(41:32):
into the show. Bill. I thought we'd start by explain
to people I give a bottle episode episode. Uh um,
so this is um he's gonna explain it to you,
but we would call this episode that all takes place
in the ICU a bottle episode. Bill, explain a bottle episode,
it's a bottle episod. When you're shooting a TV show,
you have a budget for to make every episode. Some

(41:53):
of them can be you know, I mean shoot A
lot of shows are nowadays, and these streaming shows cost
like four to six even for a half an hour,
and even more money for an hour. I believe the
Morning Show on Apple costs one hundred and sixty million
in episode. That's not true. But what you do occasionally
after you said made ten or fifteen shows, and a

(42:16):
bunch of them were over budget, and you're way behind
on money. Maybe in the sixteenth show, you make a
bottle show and you go, hey, the easiest way to
save money is to eliminate all swing sets, which means
sets that we would build our locations we would go
to for that episode, which costs money with trucks and
travel and shooting, and shoot the entire show in one set,

(42:38):
so that you could maybe finish it in four days
instead of five. And just by doing that you can
usually make up all the money you wasted in the
previous fifteen episodes. And that's what we did with this one.
And I don't think we did another. I can't remember
a bill, but is this This may have been the
only true bottle episode we did, right, We did two
things to save money. We did a bottle show to
save money, and this show is so old now. Actually

(43:00):
did a clip show to say, oh my god, if
you remember that, you guys kind of narrated the interstitial
stuff and uh, and then showed clips of everything that
had happened. The weirdest thing was that clip show was
in our seventh episode, so we only had six episodes
to pull. It wasn't like after and yeah, so we did,
we did it, and so the cameras were just up

(43:21):
in that ICU the whole time, and we flew through
it and just moved all you all you guys and
gals around And now don't they also, isn't there another
term where they call it like trapped in up? Like
I used to call it a stuck in a episode
because I knew they'd be like, you could put a
bunch of people in an elevator for the whole episode
and be really funny, and it's only one set. You
can shoot it quick, it'd be great. Yeah, So it's
a producer's dream. It's like, hey, we're so over budget.

(43:42):
What if there was an episode where they're all stuck
in an elevator and or in this case, the ICU.
Now my first question, um, well is uh? Christa And
I said this to Florence. We were watching it. Christa's
character exits right away, and I thought, you know what happened?
Bill's Bill said that Christoph, we're gonna do a bottom episode,

(44:02):
and she was like, oh, just so you know, my
character leaves at the top to be out of that.
By the way, the only good thing of her leaving
at the top, by the way, I'd forgotten the episode,
I'm like, why she wear in that hat? And then
it was yeah, but then, b is that meant she
wasn't there to see the cast of characters all raise

(44:24):
their hand having slept with her before, which is probably
in my best interests. Yeah, she would have been like
she would have been like my character would not have
slept with me. It would have stopped. Yes, I just
want to make a quick reference. That wasn't the Es
of the Lost Art uh reference. It was actually in
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom of the Lost Dark.

(44:46):
He grabbed his bull whip. In Temple of Doom, he
grabs his hat. Wow, But I mean props, see you
for knowing it. Brain Donald, huge brain, huge brain. Um.
All right, so let's get into it. Um. It starts
with j D trying on all these outfits. I like

(45:06):
how you we brought back the raw outfits. I was
about to say, because when we talked about it, I
said it wasn't going to be back again, and it
didn't make it back. Yeah, I liked. I think it
was Tad Quill, one of the writers that somebody pitched
that we would do that outfits joke just because you
keep returning to ship Captain. You're never you always go
back to your head. You're like, could I pull off

(45:27):
ship Captain? You go back to it. I think like
three times. It makes me so happy, And he finally
settles on an outfit that only works all together. And
let's say, if God forbid you were to peel off
the layers, it would be a disaster. Yeah, I'm not
sure that that stands up to the test of time
and scrutiny. It was literally just going like, hey, is

(45:47):
there a way to get JD in a red half shirt.
It was funny. It was very funny, and I love
Tuck's reaction to it when they walk into the ICU Outstanding, Outstanding, outstanding.
I was very open to being uh laughed at on

(46:11):
the television show Scrubs. So if it was good for
the joke, I'm down to do it. A belly tea,
I'm down whatever the raw Eddie Murphy's raw left pleather Onesie,
I'm down, dude. You were shirtless and pantsless to say
many times, man, I was on camera with literally just
a sock yeah, off and h and outside with passers

(46:32):
by and holding U golf clubs. Golf clubs. Yeah. So yeah, no,
real reinforcement. Well I think you said you put a
rubber band on the Yeah, absolutely, to hold it on
anything that anybody needs to know. The fans want to
learn trivia, want to let's go to the let's go

(46:53):
to the where do you want to know? How about trains?
His private area? For you? Yesing the show? Yes? No?
Or I'm never listening again? Well, please put up a poll.

(47:19):
Are you interested in things like did Donald have a
rubber band around his ball? Come on, no, Joel, don't
do that. Okay, Joel, don't do it. I really I
just a lot of jokes in this show that really
made me laugh. You know what, I don't know why
it made you laugh so far. You said the most
exciting thing about your date was putting the possum to sleep,

(47:40):
and that wasn't a U miss? What could that mean?
What do you guys think that really meant? Like? What
would that mean? Putting the possum to sleep? That doesn't
really like a sex thing. I don't know it's sex
adjacent it it sounds like it maybe could be. It
could be going to the bathroom. That could be like

(48:00):
a like I laughed when I go his little hoof
is bleeding on the GIU shift. The fact that there
this many years you still do Woody? Is he Donald?
Does he do the Woody Allen voice a lot every time?
All the time. It's his go to it's his go to. Well.
I there's something about the term the word hoof used

(48:22):
improperly that always makes me laugh. Yeah, saying an animal
that doesn't have a being like lit and doctor to
his little hoof. We say it way too much. But
Sarah Chalk is so good and her journey on her
story about her dad and how she may or may

(48:44):
not have been attracted to him when she was eleven. Yeah,
what is that about? Bill? I was like, I was like,
did I miss hear? That? The funniest journey I've ever seen?
Because she said it so confidently and then immediately segues int,
I mean that's normal, right, yeah, and then just a

(49:05):
hope on her face that it would never be mentioned again.
It gave and then she's like, yeah, I have complicated
feelings about my dad. And I was like, what just
for a second, for a second when he was eleven?
Zacht Okay, Now, why does Lonnie have such a glorious mustache?
I mean it's it's gorgeous, um, but he just did

(49:27):
he just show up with that and you were like, yes,
so he had it. He grew up with someone else.
He was an actor back then. He's since become a
very successful comedy writer. Right, he's a writer now, Mike,
And uh, back then he was doing some kind of
web series that he had to have what he called
a porn stash, and he asked if he could keep it.
I said, yeah, but jad's gonna mock it or covet

(49:47):
it for the rest of your life. I don't know
how a hairless kid could grow that, because that thing
was one hundred percent real. Is hes like that? He
is here less like that. Yeah, there's no waxing going on.
That's that's straight Irish Catholic, no no, or whatsoever. On
your chest spot right there. You're welcome, Mike. Somebody try
to reach my covert and tell him we're talking about
his body if you can. Now. I love the Doug
and Ted are back to fighting over Danny. I like

(50:10):
that runner that they get. The two like least alpha
male physical guys really get all charged up when it
comes to fighting over Charity. Well. I like the fact
that she made out with both of them at the
same time, and the reason why they approached her together
was in hopes that that would happen again. Yeah, they

(50:32):
might like it, but maybe you can each other again,
Donald too. This is I'm awest. I'm not doing this
to make this point yet, but it's been such a
tough time and stuff. And when I do this with
you guys, I generally, for real just do it by memory.
And I watched this one and just seeing Sam and
how funny he is still makes me so sad man,

(50:54):
you know what I mean. It just it just always
takes me out of it for a second because he
was so much just a gifted comedian, even in just
the way he looks at that kid Doug, who, by
the way, is one of my favorite bit players of
all time, because that dude, I don't think ever did
anything else. I think he split from acting and moved back.
Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you what happened to
Johnny Castle and Joel. We want to get him on

(51:15):
the show because a lot of fans are clamoring to
have Johnny Castle on who played Doug, and he you know,
Donald and I watching back have said, God, he's so funny.
And then I don't think he worked, like did he
stop working? Yeah? I think he. I think he for
real had some of his family that got ill. It
was either dad or mom or something like that. But
you should get him on and ask him because I
went back and you guys remember when Johnny Castle went

(51:39):
State Farm and he came back one year jacked, just
like Ripped City and it. Dude, you gotta look at
certain episodes. He is veins in his arm, biceps, pipe.
It cracked us all up as writers. Wait, what do
you mean he went State Farm? What does what does
that mean? The State Farm guy, according to my sons
and daughter, is very very jacked. That guy, oh, the

(51:59):
new State Farm guy Star from State Farm is just
rip City. I mean he's apparently I did not know
that really really handsome and jacked up. Do you know that?
I don't really know who that guy is because I
don't watch sports and those ads only play on sports.
You don't know who Jake State Farm is? I do now.
I saw the Drake one, the new one with Drake Farm. Ye,

(52:21):
Daniel Joel Donald, every one of us get one shot.
The most famous athlete you can name that you think
Zach still has not heard of is a tough one.
If Zach's heard of it. If that, if Zach's heard
of him or her, you're out. So it's naming, and
I'm gonna know. I'm gonna know famous names. I mean,

(52:42):
are you? Are you? I know? I know Mike Jaminski? Yeah,
all right, So Daniels I got my shot, but Dan,
oh my god, I'll go Bo Jackson, Yeah he played,
he played multiple sports. That's good though, right. So, and
there was a whole night Key campaign back in the
day Bo don't know Jack was that it was Bo

(53:04):
knows you got it right? How about Bo? Bo knows
this and Bow knows that, but Bodo no Jack about
this and that because bod know that because Bo can't rap.
How about knows this and Bow knows that, but Boto
no Jack because Bo can't rap. So what do you know?
The did dogs just first up to that, no vatteries
included and no strings attached, no hold bag, no time

(53:27):
movie forever forever, all right, don't don't respect us, five
dog man, I don't have five dogs forever in my
sound pad. Bro, here you go right now, rest in
power with five dog Okay, rest in power all right?
But I like this game. I like this game. Somebody
else tried to Billy that's a tennis player, and she's
killing it. She's very I think she's like number one

(53:48):
female tennis player right now. How about Richard Todd. That's
not a real person. And Richard Todd is a real person.
Not a real person. I never heard of Dick Todd, Richard.
How about this Tom Chambers now play he never played

(54:10):
Lamar Jackson? Yeah, Jackson, that's a basketball players are wrong.
He just switched while while on the show. No, no,
do you guys remember when Michael Jordan decided he wanted
to play baseball? Well, that's what the guy you just

(54:30):
mentioned did not, Sorry, he played on Happen the Jazz happened?
By the way, you went very CONFI everybody famous missed
on Lamar Jackson. Those guys aren't famous. I know, Lar,
Are you Gowa right now on the pole? Is Lamar
Jackson the MVP of the NFL famous? Yeah? He should

(54:51):
be the most very famous, very famous. I don't know sports. Yeah,
I don't know. Okay, but I think I passed half
of your test because I know you did. All right.
How about Danny Um, Tara Reids smoking in the ICU.
I'm pretty sure that's taboo. You know that you can't
really show smoking on television anymore, even streaming shows period

(55:11):
pieces and stuff. They make exceptions, but a lot of
them want you to show the person holding a cigarette
but not inhaling. How do we feel about that, by
the way, because I'll be honest that my grandma so
two packs a day passed away from lung cancer. I'm
going with the comedy the whole time here, and so
I don't actually mind that we don't show smoking on

(55:33):
TV as much. I mean, it's that everybody says, don't
glamorize it, but it does. It is always look it's
so cinematic and it looks so cool. Sometimes, especially when
shot on film, you get the light and it's just like, uh,
we watch all those like forties in our movies smoking
it does look cool. So I understand the likeality behind
being like, hey, let's not like make this look glamorous

(55:54):
to children. But it does look glamorous, damn it. I
remember that. I remember that a rule that you couldn't
show um you could. Yeah. I remember being told that
I was directing something and it was network and I
didn't know it was streaming that it was a case
for streaming bill but it was a network thing and
it said, you know, they can hold the cigarette, but
week you can't show them inhaling it. Streaming still has

(56:14):
they get to make their own rules of whatever. Their
companies is an Apple for instance, um uh, you know.
They they're a family brand and a huge thing, so
they still have their standards that you kind of have
to stick to. And the only place we got caught
is in on ted Lasso is in London. Flow would
be there to tell us this, but Zach, you know
what swear word they use in London that we just

(56:36):
simply do not say here? And they yes, and you
put it on ted Lasso that word I did and
you're in your yeah. In one of the was that
was no bueno for Apple. And by the way, it's
so interesting because it makes you think about language over there.
Nobody even cares. It's very casually tossing. So Apple made
you take that. Um that's that word that starts with
cea out of the show. Yes, okay, wow, um I

(56:57):
am when I direct to Going Style, when I directed
Going in Style too. There's a scene where Morgan Freeman
Michael Kine and Alan ar Can all get high and
it was PG thirteen. So the rule was you can
show them put the joint to their lips, but then
you have to cut away right and then then you
then you could also show them exhaling. So I had
to do this. It was the most bizarre rules, but

(57:19):
I had to. Like Morgan like takes the joint to
his lips and then you cut to a reaction shot
and then you can cut back to him with the exhale.
Just weird. Yeah, I thought it was so clever. What
was that tofor grace show? Um show that you were
always one step behind the joint that was being passed around. Yeah,
it's so I can't believe they got away with that

(57:41):
on network. Wait, do you guys notice anything weird with
the signal? It feels like it's getting like fuzzy or something.
Do you guys notice I feel like I hear that
there's a noise? Now what is that? Dude? You guys?
Oh wait, Will Will Will? If it isn't two of
my least favorite people, that's right, say hello to Hooch

(58:03):
because I've done taking over your podcast. Uh huh, I'm
all up in this bitch. That's right. Hooch Junior is
hacking for a beginner's workshop finally paid off. I knew
my girl had skills. That's right. I've done taking it over,
and soon I'm gonna take one of your fingers. Y'all
think you're gonna do the scrub story without talking about Hooch,
There would be no scrubs without Hooch. So just remember

(58:25):
who is crazy. I'm crazy as a motherfucking and I'm
god damn it, did you try and turn off my lights?
Burn for a burn? Baby, burn for a burn? I'm
coming after your ass. Who just legit fucking crazy? Yeah?

(58:49):
Who's just crazy? You guys? Scary? Scary? Understand by the way,
it's crazy. I was surprised by that because you guys
just told us to act like there's static and stuff,
but be that gentleman is such as a director producer
of a TV show that I occasionally work that I

(59:11):
work on, and like, uh, literally just today I was
at a conversation of like, oh, he's so good and
adult and we can count on him to be responsible
for everything, and I believe he was just threatening all
of our lives. By the way I wrote, when I
wrote Phil and said, uh, finally, thank you Phil for
for pretending to hijack the show. And I wrote him

(59:32):
and the funny thing about Phil is he's the sweet
like Bill said, He's the sweetest like family man you
ever met. And I was like, I don't even know
Phil's gonna want to curse. I was like, it could
be funny if you said, UM, called us motherfucker's at
the end. If you don't want to curse, that's fine.
And then I get the video It's like motherfuckers was
really crazy? Who said to me the most, by the way,

(59:55):
I randomly when people find out worked on the show,
they say, which is great. I mean, who Phil can't
walk to on the street without people yelling, which is
crazy at him. That's the weirdest thing because that he's
worked it so often. Who did it? Was talking to me me? Oh,
Tom Kavanaugh was telling me that at least once a
week walking around someone will go hey, little brother. Yeah.
And Scott fully tells us that he can't walk two

(01:00:16):
feet or write anything on the internet without someone being like, um,
nobody cares, nobody, Yeah, But Scott fully never tells it
in a happy way like the other day. But I
feel bad for Scott, Like I'll go because I follow
him on Instagram and sometimes I'll be on like just
watching his normal account and I'll scroll through the comments
and he's just like posted like sure you love my

(01:00:37):
wife and a beautiful picture of his wife, and in
the comments like, nobody cans. I've really used by the
way as him because it's so cool you look at Connecticut, dude,
like I've really used woodworking. I'm proud of this thing
that I did. Nobody cares. Nobody, nobody cares. Um, let's
go back to the show. UM, I like, I love
what I'm doing CPR for ten for ten, CPR on

(01:00:58):
the on the Homeless Guy, and I'm like, you're not
getting this one. Lord. You know my one of my
favorite things that um is we got to do on
Scrubs and you two are so good. But there's so
many peripheral characters and actors and actresses that just come
out here and they grind and they maybe get little

(01:01:19):
things here and there, and they're just funny and talented.
And one of the things that we got to do.
And I was just thinking of that moment Z that
because that dermatologist, I forget his name, but I remember
when you said to him, I need thirty bucks and
you have a trust fund. I just said, just make
some noise, dude, and he went yeah. It made me

(01:01:42):
laugh for like ten minutes, so that it was funny,
just as it's my time to shine. Baby. Hey, Donald,
you out of focus for some reason, I am yours,
baby girl. I think you can Donald make himself out
of focus by being high? Or is that just you
got too big to fix? There we go, there you go? Yeah, um,

(01:02:07):
all right, oh do you want to see a question. Yeah,
let's take another question, Joelle. And in the meantime, yeah. So, anyway,
that thing of the Lord was so funny to me,
like and then I and then I do it and
I go JD one Lord zero zero. Yeah. I want
to get into something because this this kind of this
kind of stuck with me for a minute. And at
first I was like, did I dream that? And then

(01:02:28):
I had to watch the show againting to make sure.
So did Carla and Cox Bang no, no, no, no,
he said, all that was a kiss on the forehead.
That's as far as it went, though, Like said, he
said to you, I really liked her and she wasn't
down with it, and I got the I spent ninety
bucks and just got a kiss on the forehead because

(01:02:49):
in the Best Man movie the kiss on the forehead
and means something completely different. It means like relations never
happened with them. Okay, way, I was watching Why hide that? Though?
Why would they hide that? He gave the three reasons Donald,
reason reason number one because you know she wasn't into him,
why would he talk about it? And it was embarrassing?

(01:03:10):
Reason number two she said you you um she maybe
she knows you and knows that you're a jealous, insane person,
you know, which is kind of that's kind of true.
I don't remember reason number three, but I did like
that speech. Ye. By the way, Donald, in real life,
if your co worker had even kissed your wife on
the forehead, you would be like, have trouble with that?
Did lean about looking up with casey or no? No,

(01:03:32):
he never has still hold on, let me find the No,
that's the toilet. Excuse him? Harr's the bomb left upset? Yeah,
he left a huff um all right? I like, yeah,
I liked the speech to of uh um that uh

(01:03:57):
uh Cox gave and that whole thing about you know
you have to accept that your person you're with has
a past you know? And uh and who who cares?
You had a past? You know? And it took me
so long to learn that lesson because I used to
get tortured by all Christa's boyfriends in my head. I
know you told everyone in the hilarious story in the
podcast about about Matt Perry, Yes, the true story. Oh

(01:04:20):
a special visitor, everybody. I like that. It makes me happy.
Oh my god, he Casey, how are you going? How
are you guys talking about your your dating before? And
that's on that que I'm leaving. We don't have to
talk about that, Casey, say hi to everyone who's hi? Everybody? Hi,

(01:04:43):
case Your kids are so beautiful, man, it was so
cool seeing them both still, they're so big. It's nuts.
You used throw other people's children and I think of
them as babies still and they're Rocco's just like, nah,
I shoot all the time. This that's amazing. Yeah, he
has short hair now and he's dude all of a sudden.
How do you feel about cutting his hair? You know what?

(01:05:04):
I didn't want to, but but the minute we did it,
I was like, why did I wait so long? Right? Yeah?
We were holding onto it like it's it's like he's
uh Sampson. I thought it was. Yeah. I thought his
personality and everything would be gone the minute the hair left.
But that kid's gonna get it. By the way, he
is cute and confident. He has no problems putting that

(01:05:27):
thing on him. Just talking to By the way, it
says now for me one point three million people watching
one point three did you say million or a billion? Million? Million? Crazy?
You're gonna make me feel shit when it's like five
hundred people, So don't keep making that joker. But wait
before you move on, I just want to say to
Bill this, it's that time of the year where I'm

(01:05:49):
so sad that we're not over at your house. I
know that bum out it all does a big Easter
party party, that ridiculously beautiful Easter party, and I have
to say, you're not allowed to come if you don't
have kids. So we were a part of I mean,
we were all family for so long in ten years,
and I finally said, what do we got to do

(01:06:10):
to get over to the fucking party? I put in
you guys had you guys only had a baby, so
you can be invited to Bill's party got to make
sacrifices here and there. Man, it's the Eastern Party of
the year. It's solid. We miss it. I miss it

(01:06:31):
to It makes me sad. Next year, guys, you know it.
Next year. Don't tell Zack I'm coming. I'm gonna. I'm
gonna bring a fake child. What's the Oh my god,
what's going on with the Okay, they broke, Daniel? He
insisted that they were. Yeah, they broke. I know, but
you can get him some new ones, Daniel, I said,

(01:06:54):
I would bring you a question. We're gonna casey, we
love you, but give Donald your phones. Well wait, I
thought you were asking me about dating or something. Yeah,
always five? Five is the magic. Gotta understood? How many answer?
How many people have you been with before? You? Guys
just saying up, okay, it's always five. Are you implying?

(01:07:18):
Are you implying that women that I've dated who said
five were lying? No? Okay, good, thank you, thank you.
Here's a question, Bill, did you play any characters other
than Van and the Janitor in the season eight finale?
If not, what made you want to do it twice?
At the end it sounds a little judgmental, um so

(01:07:42):
I'll tell you two things. One is I did it
and was just ad living when I was marrying the
janitor and Lady and Donald and Zach and I don't know.
I have one of my favorite pictures is they were
all in the pool, not even doing their coverage. They
were just in the pool, drinking pina coladas there and
mocking me because I could barely get through it as

(01:08:04):
a little maybe as a little buzz myself and just
trying to make up things as a preacher. And I
wanted to be in the end at the last second
because I got very sad, and I wanted to say
goodbye to the show. When Zach kind of says goodbye
to me, I thought I was so moving by the way,
the fact that you decided to do that and play
the janitor who's who takes down the sheet. I thought

(01:08:24):
that was really you know, you and I saying goodbye.
I mean, it's obviously you saying goobye the show, but
also you and I saying goodbye after this incredible time together.
I really was moved by that. Can I tell you
I'll tell you my funniest thing on the goodbyes week
And Donald will remember this, so there's a great lovely
background actor on our show that we called Colonel Doctor.

(01:08:47):
And we called him Colonel Doctor because he may have
looked like the Kentucky Fried Chicken guys, Colonel Sanderson Sanders,
by the way, And then when we had to name
him because we're ludicrous people, his name in the show
Bible is Coleman Slowsky, So his name but Donald. There's

(01:09:12):
there's video out there on when that's a series rap
on Donald Fazon when we're all like hugging and stuff,
and it's I think it was you, me and Judy
and Zach hugging goodbye, and he was overcome. So he
wanders into that moment. Everybody kind of just froze because
we're all pretty sure litle doctor, who has never even

(01:09:35):
spoken to any of us, is the full body embracing
us on our last goodbye? Do you remember our moment?
It was so fun, man, But the answer the hug dude, dude,
I appreciate that I haven't seen he has passed away,
passed away, But that was I think that literally was

(01:09:57):
the last time I saw a lot of the people
who played background golf with Mick head Bill. Mick Frank
was a screenwriter, and such a lovely man and a
beard face beard for sad damn it. What I believe
his name is Jeff. That's Crazy Eyes Margo. I loved her.
She was always roaming around man Crazy Eyes Margo. All right.

(01:10:18):
But the answer that question is I put myself anytime
I was bored in the show A solid five other
times that I would when I was trying to procrastinate,
I would just go put myself in different shots and scenes.
If you can find them, I'll send you ted ass
a mug. Oh see what you did? Come promising gifts
um um um um. Preston asked if there were to

(01:10:43):
be a Star Wars musical, who would Donald cast and
who would Zach choose to direct, well cast himself, as
as as why would not be so seriously Well, because
Hans it was probably gonna have one good musical number,
Scotty numbers. He's gonna have Lue Scott Walker is gonna

(01:11:05):
have a lot of really cool musical numbers. There's gonna
be the one with Yoda. There's gonna be like Han
solo has like one to one or two one where
he is he's introduced and then where he gets frozen.
In Carbonite. I think, yeah, Laya comes. I think the
ballad with Laya comes at the Frozen with Carbonite moment

(01:11:26):
like it's and I think it's a I think it's
a reprise. Also, like they started, they started in the
closet when they're when they're kissing, which he's like, I like,
I like you, you know, I like nice man. I'm
a nice man. No you're not, you're and then they kiss.
I think that's a musical moment. And then the reprise
where it's a big where it's a big act break
is him going into carbonite. It's a big lay Miss

(01:11:49):
song too. When he's leading you know, you know, when
when they're all kind of uh him and Chewy and
when they're all all before the trash compactor thing, when
they're all roaming around there. When they're roaming around that
could be they could be dancing through the hallways of
the Death Star. I could see that happening. What are
you gonna do when you don't give Zach a part
and he freaks out? I mean, who would Zach play? Three?

(01:12:14):
That's about right, that's a real hift. Well, if are
we talking about just Star Wars or like the universe
because if it's the universe, I'd like to be Jabba. Oh,
you'll give you that will They'll all be original songs,
but except for one that came with the show Yu
Yup Yup Numb the break the live Yu yu U

(01:12:42):
Up Numb next by next time? Will you have um
lyrics to the main Star Wars team for me? Yes,
we'll work on that for the second live show, Zach
in honor of Passover starting tomorrow night, Happy pass Over
to all that celebrate. Can you do your wrap now? Bill?
You may have missed this on the podcast, but I
wrote a rap when I was like eight years old

(01:13:02):
in honor of Passover. I have heard that heard the story,
and I believe I heard that on the podcast. I'm
gonna try and remember it on the spot as tricky Um.
For those of you missed that episode of the podcast.
My father insisted on taking us on a long road
trip to go to a passover saders somewhere I believe
it was. And by the way, I wrote this when
I was like eight. One day, four people took a

(01:13:25):
trip to Boston, Elaine, Helen, Zach, and an OUTI five thousand.
The reason for this trip was Passover time. If we
snook some bread, and it would be a crime. Why
do we go so I wish Dane could have laid
down a beat for this, but it's too late. Why
do we Why do we go so far? And we
could pray at home? The reason was unknown? Just remember
your comb. I'm not as good a rapper as Donald.

(01:13:49):
Calm down, um, just remember on this five hour trip
McDonald's and Burger King, we would skip the reason for
this deed was passover time. If we snook some bread,
it would be a crime. Oh, you went back to that,
Go back. Okay, let's finish. We're gonna next get into

(01:14:12):
our dating segments soon. Let's talk a little more about
the episode. Um, what else you guys got turk when
you Headbut Lonnie, that was very funny. It's very I'm sorry,
that was freaking amazing. You cannie out, dude. Dude, but
he had it coming. Man, He don't freaking interrupt me
when I'm talking to my lady about you know, if

(01:14:32):
she had relations with doctor Cox, don't freaking don't freaking
all of a sudden compliment. Huh, you're catching that Headbut
that's right, you know, I know you'd know this from marriage,
but a real moment from my marriage and we one
of the things we did in this show everybody putting
their real stuff in there, and it was one of
my favorite moments of the show is you and Judy
when you go, I'm not really qualified to change those

(01:14:52):
dressings and she goes, oh please, it's just nursework. It's easy,
and you go, I know, and she goes, I knew
you thought that. I knew it. She walked away. Bill,
Are you saying that's from your life, that is from
my life. I haven't been tricked that way before. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(01:15:13):
my wife. My wife's done that before, where she was like, well,
let's just do it. Let's just let's just talk about it.
And I will take hypothetically and I'll be like okay,
and I'll say something like I always knew you thought
that I always I knew knew. It was like we
were acting, we were playing. You said we were doing
an exercise. I won't exercise at all. A lot of
the chat apparently is asking for me to do my

(01:15:35):
big bank dance. Um, I was not prepared. I would
have padded my bank. Well, you said you had a
big bank. You generally have a big bang, and I'm concerned.
I know idea, I have been doing squads. You have
a small waist or cheaper by the dozen. By the
time we're ready to shoot, I will have bank. But
it's it's a bank in progress. Let's see show now

(01:16:03):
now remember, Oh, oh my god, I'm kind of nervous.
But if you donald, where are you going? Come back?
I'm gonna humiliate myself for the fans. Now there's three parts.
There's four parts. There's there's showing your small waist, your

(01:16:25):
pretty face, and your big bank. And then if you're
one of these women to do this, you then have
to laugh like, oh, I'm just playing along. I shouldn't
be doing something so crazy. Okay, so those are the
four beats I'll be performing. Bill stop moaning, thank you everybody,
thank you you ready? Oh, they'll stop moaning small waist,

(01:16:51):
pretty face with a big bank. Did I sell it amazing? Yea.
My favorite part of my favorite part of people doing
super sexual dances online is then ending with like, oh,
I'm so silly, I don't know excuse me, Oh my god,

(01:17:13):
you sneezed all over all our guests. Where are you going?
He's probably going to Casey again, it's been thirty minutes.
It's been twenty minutes since he was exactly Bill, there's
a lining here. I really liked about dating. Oh you mean,
how how you you? You you acting like someone you're not,

(01:17:33):
and then once you to, once you're in a relationship,
then you show them who you really are. Yeah, I
thought that was you dropped. You dropped a little knowledge
bomb on everyone, because that was sort of true. It's like,
you know, Donald, we were just I just brought up
that line that's like dating is just acting like someone
you're not until I forgot the exact wording, until someone uh,
until they like you enough and uh, I don't know.

(01:17:54):
I thought that was kind of cool, like we do
when you're dating, you do in the beginning, just pretend
to be some idealized version of yourself. I really liked
that speech that you gave, you know, I think it's real, man,
And it made me look. This was a goofy episode.
It was just a Joca than to any medical steaks.
And there was space cake and Neil Flynn panicking as

(01:18:16):
he shoots cotton balls into a jar, which killed me. Yeah,
you guys faked, You guys faked a heart attack with
the homeless person. Yeah, yeah, well we called him a
hobo to get by, but yeah, he's probably in retrospect.
You know. Um, I think he said he was putting
um at one point. I think he said he was
putting satellite TV in his box when he was trying
to You know what I loved in this episode, by

(01:18:42):
the way, is the voiceover um of because I loved
when you were incredibly narcissistic and your voiceover said, I
could feel the pain in my best friend's face and
I could sense how little I cared. I'm looking at
scrubs Wicky, our old friends, and they're saying the janitor
could not have owed doctor Kelso seven hundred dollars, threw

(01:19:04):
double or nothing from five dollars. They don't know, Yeah,
they don't know. If he said, right, this one's for
fifty bucks. And then I'm just telling you, I know
you get sensitive about it wasn't double or nothing each time.
In the middle, just so you know, in the middle
it was at three hundred dollars and he said, I
just want to bet fifty and he lost on to
three fifty and then he said double or nothing. We

(01:19:25):
cut that though, and ed, okay, sure, whatever you want
to say. I want to say he was on to
say eleanor is that eleanor? With her? Shit? Again? About
this is Trevor WICKI listen. It says if the kept
going up by five dollars, then the janitor must have
had one hundred and forty shots. There are a lot
of cotton balls on. There were a lot of guns day.

(01:19:47):
You know, I never ever, ever did when we were
doing scrubs. Is math? So has everybody just calmed down?
And there's no math? There's no math on scrubs. Um okay,
I can't. I'm trying to see if there's any other funny. Uh.
You know, we really obsessed about ter Read's last episode.

(01:20:08):
It says that sorrysted about making um without cheating too much,
but you should go back and listen to it making
Ken's stomach growl sound like it's saying the word cake.
You listen doing it when he doesn't go And I
remember when we first did it, and I almost put
it on TV. It basically just said, cake, we've been

(01:20:30):
too much. I think all right, all right, guys, I
think it's time. What do you feel Donald, It's maybe
time to segue too sorry. For some reason, I got
the sniffles all of a sudden, I was sneezing. I
apologize to all the fans, but yes, I do think
it's time to segue. Are you allergic to fun and laughter? Donald,
I'm never allergic to fun and laughter. But this next

(01:20:52):
segment I'm very very excited for. Okay, everybody, So this
is where this is very exciting. Joel m going back
to the pole first and see what the poll said. Okay,
let's check the pole. About the pole, No, no, we're
not ready for that pole yet. Oh yeah, yeah, we
has a switch over because some some verbal updates on

(01:21:16):
the pole. We have fifty three yes, twenty six point
five sometimes and twenty point percent no. Okay. A whole
lot of people are watching as we go along, which
is great and it's funny because we never know and
there's no way to find out. So this was just
sort of a little uh anecdotal pole, I guess. But um,

(01:21:37):
but we like that. I love the idea that you
guys are falling along. I think that makes it even
more fun because I never noticed. You know, I know,
some people know the show so well that they don't
even need to rewatch it, but I like the idea,
you know, because the whole donald and My first idea
for this was it was like, feels like a DVD
commentary book. But it's actually better that we're not. When
you do a DVD commentary, you're kind of always trying

(01:21:57):
to keep up. You're like, next scene, you gotta whereas
this is like we watched it before, we can we
can digress as we like to do, as you know.
Um oh, so wait, Joel, we're not ready for that then, right,
because we're just waiting for one more person, so we're
almost there. We're not quite ready for this, but maybe
we can play the song because it's exciting. Okay, Now,

(01:22:21):
what's the name of the fella? Joel? I want to
give him a shout out. Let me let me get
it right, because I don't want to mess him up.
You know. He put a lot, a lot of work
into this. So his name is Travis Freshner. It's Travy
wavy two v's and both on Instagram if you want
to give him a follow. He's worked with Jimmy Fallon
before he did the History of Disney Songs. If you
guys had an opportunity to hear that with Kristin bell

(01:22:43):
a while ago, but also the Jimmy fallon Billy Idol
and roots remix of Dancing with Myself. So this guy,
he's a pro. He's a pro. He wrote us off
for us. Yeah, we love when our fan By the way,
when you guys tag me and Donald and Joel and
Dale in fan art, it's so funny. The one that
today that we put up of Nurse Roberts above ground
pool party was hilarious. If you haven't seen that, By

(01:23:06):
the way, I wanted frame too. If you haven't seen it,
it's on It's on my Instagram. And um, I love that.
There's some funny details. But Donald, did you notice that
You're I did not see it. I have not seen it.
You said this, I'm like, what the huh? Looking now?
That's the last post on my Instagram. And um and
zoom in on the T shirt of what your What
your T shirt says it's a great T shirt. Yeah,

(01:23:29):
I want that T shirt. Um. And Johnny Castle has
brought a body bag to the ground pool party. I
can't above ground pool party leo. Yeah, by the way,
I would rock and I doc leo t shirt. It's

(01:23:49):
pretty great. Um. Yeah, Bill, what was going on at
uh A Nurse Roberts above ground pool party? And did
you ever think of cutting because one of the only
mistakes I think you made in nine years was you
never cut to the magic of one of LaVerne's above
ground pool parties. I should have, but there's no way
we can do them. Job. There's two things that you
couldn't see, which is there's no way Laverns above Ground

(01:24:12):
Pool Party could live up to the legend of them
A and then B. There is one that everybody has
asked me that Elliott tells a boyfriend to whisper to
her what he really wants sexually, and he does, and
then she just leaves and never talks to him. Remember
that nobody people have gone what did you say? And

(01:24:33):
it's much like translation. We've never figured out. We think
it's better if you figure out, so you imagine what Laverns.
By the way, though if I ever opened a nightclub,
it would be called Laverns above Ground Pool Party name.
I think you're right, but it's better to leave. Sometimes
it's better to leave it in the in the audience's

(01:24:53):
imagination because anything you show them will not be not
be bespoken. Enough for each viewer, Like the viewer needs
to go that shit was whatever the most crazy bacchanal orgy,
drug fest they have in their mind. It's it's it's
the it's that times ten. Yes, exactly. Well. In the
in the drawing, Johnny Castle has brought a corpse to

(01:25:13):
the party. Yeah, looks great. Let's take a break. We'll
be right back after these fine words. All right, so
we've hyped up the song enough. Um, this is the official.
We're gonna keep this going unless Joel falls in love tonight.
With these two prospects, we're gonna keep this dating, which

(01:25:36):
could happen, you know, if it happens, we're gonna keep
this Joel Date Joel's segment going. But here is the
original theme song for the Date Joel segment. Get the
word out, Joel, no mads between your legs tomorrow and

(01:25:58):
you could be aunt down. Oh yeah Joelique, Wow, Joel
Monique is down to get down? What what lyric? The
lyric is, um, no matter what's between your legs, you
could wake up, you could tomorrow morning. She could be

(01:26:20):
making you eggs or you could be making making her
Exactly why do you always put Joel in that spot,
Pop would be making her eggs. Yes, come on, no
matter what's between your legs, tomorrow, you could be making
Joel eggs. That's genius. Joe Lemonique is down and get down. Donald,
You're out of focus again, Daniel. Do you notice that

(01:26:40):
he keeps sliding his face slides out of focus. It's
the camera, man, it's the sony camera that girl made
me buy. No, I think that's the focus is on
the wrong setting. But the next show we're gonna make
sure it locks on your bring the Joel's down to
get down again? Done? And I like it so much
when you do it. Joe Belmonique g is down and
get down. Oh yeah, she's come in. No wait, how

(01:27:02):
did it go? What? Let's play it again one more time,
one more let's go get the word out all this town.
Joel is down, down no matter us between your eggs tomorrow, Bona,
and you could be making an eggs, get down, get down?

(01:27:24):
Oh yeah, Joel down. Oh my god, that is a
hooky fucking song. So thank you for that, sir, super well.
Bird out all around in your town. Um, all right,
so we have um, we're gonna the way we're gonna
do this, guys, we're gonna bring in up. There's two contestants,
Um for date Joel, and we're gonna bring like they

(01:27:46):
do on the Dating Game. We'll first we'll bring in
Um Sam is that'll cold Joel, and then we'll and
then the three all of us will ask Um Sam
a few questions. What she would get would be like
a zoom date, like a fifteen or minute they're so
zoom date and um and and Jowell you're muted, I
think and then um any right and um. So here

(01:28:07):
we go the first edition of the Dating Game with Joelly.
Let's let's invite in Sam. Thunderous applause for Sam brow Sam. Well,
look at that Funco pop collection. That is quite a collection.
It's not even all of them. There's more that's off camera.

(01:28:30):
I collect Funco pops, and my I don't have nearly
as many as you. That's amazing. I have over a hundred. Now,
oh my goodness. Now, of course, because I'm right, you
can get clear risers for them. Look, this is a
professional of the janitors, squirrel army the way they like

(01:28:52):
you have a squirrel army there? Oh no, I like it.
I like it. Oh my gosh, you're just noticing your shirt, right,
so Hugh, I wish yeah. Connection Okay, already feel the connection,
Este now exact all right? Let her fair vote yes,

(01:29:20):
vote yes for Sam? Now no, no Bill come down
now now Sam. The way this is gonna work is, um,
we're gonna talk to you for a bit of it.
Then we're gonna talk to the other condest for a
bit and then the audience is going to vote. And
then but we might override them if we disagree with
the audience, but we want to see. It's like the dating.
We want to see what the audience is feeling. Okay,
so you guys out there, you are gonna want to
go to this straw pole. Now you put a link in,

(01:29:43):
right you? Well, because they can't. They're not gonna remember that.
Yeah that Kyle did you put somewhere they can click? Yeah. Also,
it's in the chat, so there's two places. So you
can either type up what's the scrolling on the btbom
of your sad or look at the chat and you'll
find it there. Okay, you guys, I look in the chat,
but obviously don't vote yet because no one said anything.
Don't be that guy I've already voted for sale. No, Bill,

(01:30:04):
just just Sam is cool and has funko pops does
not mean she wins. It's cool she's got funk though
pop okay, love, Oh my god, I got me. Okay,
now listen, Um, I don't want anyone voting yet. Do

(01:30:25):
I have your promise? Vote for sale? Oh my god, Bill,
everybody go and vote for all. Oh my god. Another
person soundproof poof? Okay, they're probably probably supposed to be
in a soundproof foof. I don't know if we had
that figured out. Oh Donald, did you switch to some
of the don't beveragin? My wife came in and she

(01:30:47):
was like, you should have smoked before the show. And
I was like why no, she did, like, yes she did.
She was like you should have smoked. Why And she
was like because, um, you seem like you're a little down.
And I was like, I'm not. Damn, I'm freaking up.
And you know, Casey, why does she have live notes?
That's no, no, we don't give notes during the performance.

(01:31:07):
My wife, imagine, you're play Zach Are you kidding me?
If I was doing a play and my wife was
in the audience and I didn't get a laugh. The
next time I told the joke, my wife would laugh
extra hard to make sure I gotta laugh. I'm gonna
tell you a little story room now that we put

(01:31:29):
Now we put my wife on the spot. I was
doing a play at the Old Globe Picasso at the
Lapanage Yield. It's a one act written by Steve Martin, me,
Justin Long, a bunch of other people. Anyway, I don't
want to go down to hold this anyway. But we're
doing the play. And when Justin came on stage every night,

(01:31:53):
the audience applaud it like would clap out. Who yeah,
we call it entrance applause. Right I entered the I
entered the show first, never got entrance applause. Ever, you
know what I mean, Well, you never saw the play, asshole,
So you know there's that. Okay, there's that, um at

(01:32:13):
least release the fight. So so, but I'm also on
the play with how Lindon. Also, so how Lindon comes
out after me I come on stage, no applause. How
Lindon comes on stage, there's applause. Justic comes on stage.
The freaking the audience erupts. Wouldn't be like that. So
my audience. My wife saw this would come to San

(01:32:35):
Diego and watch the show over and over again. He's
at the Old Globe with theaters back. Y'all check out
the A lot of Shakespeare has done there. It's amazing. Anyway,
my wife sees the show and she's like, oh, hell no,
this can't be. There's no way. It's called fuck that shit.
So one night she gets her best friend Jessica, her husband,

(01:33:00):
a bunch of other people from you know, La to
come out to San Diego to see the play. And
I walked out on stage and when I tell you,
I got I got thunderous applause. It was like it
was like married with children loud and I and I

(01:33:23):
I when that happened, and it was louder and it
was louder than Justice and how Linda that night too,
And I remember thinking to myself, you know what, if
I ever ever f this up, I'm the dumbest person
on the planet. My wife freaking loves me so much
it's ridiculous. And you know, so whenever I'm treated unfair

(01:33:44):
or anything like that, she she she you know, she
has my back. I'm just gonna say to Sam, are
you that type of person. Okay, so I would I
would come through an applause for my partner? Yeah? Yes,
would you come through? Would you come through foot like
with Are you a fight or flight type of person? Oh,

(01:34:10):
that's a hard question. Um, well, this is this is
Joel Melnique. It's a queen of coming in a hut
with a tough question. Um. I think that if it's
about me, I'm more likely to fly, but if it's
about somebody I care about, I'm more likely to fight.
Good answer, good answer. We're going on family food. Answer.

(01:34:35):
It's an outstandingly good answer. Eight thirty in the morning.
We're going to play family feuds. So you guys got
to practice that saying good answer. Um. Now, now, Sam, Um,
here's a question for you. Theaters are back open in
the summer and you have the opportunity to take Joel
on a date. Do you take her to see Black

(01:34:55):
Widow or do you take her to see In the Heights.
O Um, I'm more excited about In the Heights because
I never got to see the musical and I really
want to see the movie. Okay, I feel like, okay, Joel,
you any thoughts on that response? I mean, I know
you're kind of geeked to see both. I just want

(01:35:16):
to know where you are with the response. So far,
I've had like a fifty fifty split on like which
one I would want to see more? Um, but I am.
I also did not get to see the musical when
it was on stage, and I would really like to
go with like a group of friends I could. I
could definitely see going to in the Heights and like
having memorized the soundtrack. And here's my question, would you

(01:35:37):
sing along? Are you the kind of person you see that? Absolutely? Absolutely?
I would probably try to keep it relatively quiet if
I'm in a movie theater with other people, but if
everybody sing along, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be all in. Okay,
I'm definitely the person that like rewatches musicals at home
and sings along with them alone. Oh my goodness, I

(01:36:01):
saw Harry Well times in theaters. It was crazy. I'm
just gonna be honest with you. I don't like that
answer at all. Wait, hold on, wait, there's too much
going on. Bill. What are you saying I'm about to
date Sam or just yes, I know you love musicals,
but you're married for like one hundred years, So no,
I don't think I could take the fight. No, no,

(01:36:22):
you're not ready. So I think she would absolutely destroy
Kristin Krista legitimately. You know how we'd say, you know how,
we jokingly go like, who you know who is seriously crazy?
Like christ is seriously scary? She's scary a little bit? Yeah, yeah, Donald,
what were you saying? I don't like that answer? Why not?
Why not? Because black Widow? I can't wait for that

(01:36:43):
in the height zone. Yeah whatever, I'm personally a bit biased,
but black Widow looks fuego right. Yeah, I gotta Sam question,
what about a double feature? Yeah? Yeah, Bill, go with
your questions from Sam, because then I'm getting to know
Joel little bit. I want to say, So, you guys
got to do a vacation. Do you go like camping

(01:37:04):
and roughing it for a week or do you save
up your dough and go high on the hogs to
some resort where they bring your drinks just for like
two nights? Very good questions. Um, that's a good question.
We just want the truth. Yeah, the truth. I like
both options for sure, but I feel like roughing at

(01:37:26):
something I have to be more in the mood for
Whereas I'm always down to be like having a fancy
cocktail by the pool and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I
picture you guys in Palm Springs and it's like one
hundred and five degrees out and drinking Bahama mamas. Yeah,
bring the drinks right to them, right, Dani you do that?

(01:37:47):
Oh yeah? Oh yeah like that? Which episode or of Scrubs?
I'm assuming you're a Scrubs fan. No, I've never seen it? Yes, okay,
so is there which is there an episode of Scrubs
that you can think of that most describes Joel or

(01:38:14):
or okay, will make it easier, or a character that
you think is most Joel esque. That's a hard question.
Maybe that's too hard, guys. Uh, let's think. I'd say
she's like a fusion of Carla and Nurse Roberts. Yes,

(01:38:34):
that's good. That's that's that's because she's got a lot
of heart like Carla, but if she needs to be
sassy and put you in your place, she can like
Nurse Roberts. I like that answer. Yeah, okay, you like that. Well,
how are these answers going for you so far? Listen,
they're hitting absolutely. There's always a good time to be pampered.

(01:38:57):
I'm not setting up a tent like it's just a
little never. I'm not doing it, but I do. I
love a log cabin, like a cozy cabin that under
the stars with like a hot tig or whatever. That's
that's the dream. Um. But yeah, like she answered, right then, Joel,
because totally you don't contestant. Yeah, all right, all right,
we a right one last question, um um Sam. If

(01:39:20):
you as you know, the prize is a fifteen minute
zoom with Joel, can you describe how that zoom would go?
Would you guys, what would you talk about? What? What? What?
What would happen on on fifteen minute zoom? Would Star
Wars come up? For example? Well, uh, let's see, so
I didn't know what was gonna be an only fifteen
minute date, so I had big plans, Okay, wrote it down,

(01:39:47):
so I wouldn't I wouldn't mess anything with it. So
like right back when we start with is, I'd ask
you about your day, how you're doing, learn more about you? Wow,
And of course this would be a company by each
of us smoking weed o, getting to know each other,
getting loose and then uh yeah, and then after that

(01:40:12):
I think we could share some music with each other.
The vibe it is good. I'm going to start dancing
with each other. Um and then after that this I'll
obviously way too much for fifteen minutes. But after that
we could play video getting together online. But mariot okay,
love you guys. What's Mario kart um? Well, I think

(01:40:37):
it'd be so sense to play the ladest I shouldn't
answer the question. That's question. Sorry about the ultimate one.
I mean it's got it's got all of the races,
all of the levels you could possibly need it for.
How to say, because it's got all the generations. Okay,
we got to move on. Sam, You're incredible. Sam. I again,
no Bill, nobody vote yet. Okay, Sam, everybody vote for Sam. Bill,

(01:41:03):
don't have another contest. We have to be fair. I
haven't let the other contest. Okay, fair all, Okay. Now,
the fact that Sam said that makes me I'm gonna
go vote for her and go, oh my god, Sam,
So I mean, worst case, even if they don't vote
for me, I can go on a date with Bill.
I know I've got to take a fall back. Okay, listen, Sam,

(01:41:26):
You're incredible and I can see you winning this but
we have to be fair to the other contest in Brittany. Um,
so Sam, you're gonna go to the green room. Hang now, now, Kyle,
don't let in Brittany yet. We want to assess how
love me to meet you? Yeah, all right now, Joell,
I just don't like her. I think she's perfect for you.
Sam's cool. She's a cost player, which I was the

(01:41:46):
first thing drawn to like her. You know letter that
she wrote in, Um, she's got a good vibe and
a good energy. She really knows a good vibe. Yeah? True?
And what is and what is your cos player? Though? Really? Though?
She wants to see In the Heights and not a
Marvel movie Calm Down. Wants to a classic Poison IVY

(01:42:06):
and it was incredible. So she likes DC over Marvel.
Is that what you're saying is that she also did
Marvel characters? If I remember correctly, I think she also
did Good Moura. But you know, she likes a range
of things. I too, am excited for In the Heights?
Do I put both movies on there? Yeah? She's a
very good She's a very Joel, Are you really fifty
fifty on that? Are you really f I've had it

(01:42:28):
up to here with Donald criticizing Sam. I'm not I'm
not an actual fight, right, Donald Donald. The interesting thing
about Joel is not only did she love the fan
girl stuff and the Marvel and the Star Wars and
all of that, but she loves musicals. Let's I just
have high hopes for Joel. I have high hopes for
the people that we introduce her. And when they say

(01:42:50):
things like I'd rather see in the heights and not
a freaking action movie with explosions and freaking Scarlett Johansson
and Florence, I got a problem with it, you know
what I mean. I just got a big problem with
all right, all right, um, let's bring in Brittany. Now, guys,
here comes Brittany. Let's talk about Brittany. You look amazing.

(01:43:19):
Welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. Everybody, go vote
for Brittany. Bill what I mean? Okay, I gotta I
gotta try and gain Bill here. So thank you so
much for having me on Bill Lawrence's podcast over. Oh
my god. You know, Brittany, playing to the judges will

(01:43:40):
get you everywhere everywhere. I've heard. Yeah, you can just
you can tell Bill how much you love Ted Lasso.
And it'll just be done for okay. Um tell us, Brittany,
Um what um? If you were to choose to take
Joel to a movie this summer when we're allowed to again,
would it be Black Widow or In the Heights? It's

(01:44:04):
up to you. It would definitely be in the Heights. Yeah.
I have worked in theater since I was fourteen. I
I was so excited for it to come out last year,
so of course it got pushed and now I'm just like,
I have to see this movie. This will be the
closest thing I probably get to a stage show for

(01:44:26):
a while. So I have you see the original show? Brittany, No,
I didn't. I haven't. I have a best friend who
saw it, Anne met linn Manuel Miranda backstage, and she
has a picture. So I'm just like, I have to like,
I can't one up that, but I could at least
go and see and cheer for Anthony Ramos as loud
as I can. Oh, and the trailer, the trailer really

(01:44:49):
does look amazing. I have to say, um with you,
yes right now, this is not okay with me at all.
You know you are you are you seeing this because
you're such a die hard marble fan and you can
watch in the Heights in the house. How about that? Wait,

(01:45:10):
are you saying because it doesn't have this? Are you
saying because it doesn't have the scope and scale of
Black Widow seeing the trailer and everything like that. I'm
probably in York City. I know about the heights, Yo,
Come on, beat one hundred, keeping one hundred. You'll tell
me you don't want to see freaking Black Widow fight

(01:45:31):
up against freaking like whoever it is that she's just
seeing in the heights. First, I disagree. I disagree with that.
All right, listen, he's getting all that's just me. That's
just me. No disrespeck lin Manuel, no disrespect. Yeah, I'm
sure Linde's watching. He's one of the seventy five billion

(01:45:53):
people watching. People on planet. We got rather planets other
we are galactic. Okay, everybody's going down. Running out of time?
Is Brittany and Sam both wore purple where they told
ahead of time that purple is Joel's favorite car? Did
that just magically happened? It is legitimately my favorite color.

(01:46:14):
Bill And I don't know how you know that? It's
freaking me up? How did you know that? Okay, Now, Brittany,
if you were to take Joelle on a trip, I'm
come stealing your question, But would it be um? Would
it be sort of camping vibes? Um? Uh, you know, rustic?
Or would you go some gorge hotel and drink drinks

(01:46:36):
by the pool? Um? Look at me, We're going to
drinks by the pool. Okay, Okay, we are drinking, drinking,
drinking by the pool, and they're gonna go sleep it off.
And if we're anywhere near beach, then we're gonna go
drink on the beach. Okay, yell, Joel, what are you
feeling about that? Um? You know, I'm I'm a lightweight
when it comes to drinking. I'm not twenty anymore. But

(01:47:01):
I do love like a perfectly mixed cocktail in the
sound of the ocean. It's like it's heavenly. So I'm
about this. And how about jazz cabbage? Are you interested
in any of that? Brittany? I will do an edible
every now, some edibles on this date. I always have
ten milligram edibles on me like a holster, which I

(01:47:22):
have him as pest dispenser. Okay, and now I know
what to get you for your birthday edibles and a
pest dispenser love it. Um. All right, it's time Brittany
for you to tell us your perfect zoom date. Let's
say you have a fifteen to twenty to thirty minute
zoom call if you are if you win this amazing contest,
what would um, what would divide be for for for

(01:47:44):
the zoom date? Brittany, don't worry about the parameters. The
last contestants fifteen minute date takes about three and a
half hours, so that whatever you're feeling, I would first
offer if we wanted to do like a shared cocktail, um,
and maybe send like a cocktail recipe ahead of time
so that we can both try it and say, like,

(01:48:04):
what do you like about it? I like these flavors,
that's good um. And then I would um go into
a round of twenty questions. But if it's only fifteen minutes,
then we can just do kind of like a rapid
fire like I answered ten Joel answers ten, UM, definitely
have to ask you know about you know a little

(01:48:25):
bit about the past, not too much, because it's just
getting to know each other. And I, yeah, life already
said the answer to every question about people you dated
in the past is five five And that's only if
Joel wants to share. That is none of my business. Yea,
and yeah, and then I would just end and ask

(01:48:51):
what was your favorite restaurant in Chicago? Oh my god?
All right, that sounds amazing. All right, Brittany, thank you.
You're amazing. Um, you're beautiful, and we're gonna put you
back in the green room while we discuss. Okay, okay,

(01:49:12):
now listen, both amazing candidates. They are both hard, they
are both I mean, wait, do while you talk. You
can now go vote. So while we discuss, you guys,
put it up there. Put it up there, Kyle, put
it up there, dude, Kyle, Kyle, put up the vote.
Whose very close, but it's just we only have three
hundred and seventy votes, so everybody vote, not now thousand

(01:49:37):
up just so they know the way to go. There
you go. Oh it's happening. Okay, okay, this is exciting
watching it in real time. Now let's talk, guys, let's
talk while the fans are voting. Um, they're both really
great candidates. They're both beautiful, charming. Um, sound like that.
Definitely a similar interest from you as you Yeah, I like,
she's a burlesque dnswer, She's from the Midwest, you know,

(01:50:00):
so there was like there's a kind of that familiar
energy you know, going through But like Sam really slammed
ount with like her date, like just the description of
like the date was perfect. It was like a perfect date.
Obviously she had ready to go. I have the worst
play I have ADHD. So anybody who comes with the
plan it's instantly gets like a bonus two points for

(01:50:21):
me um because I'm not going to do it. Yeah
you get Did you get an attracted vibe off of
both of them? I mean, oh yeah, I wouldn't have
brought them on if I didn't find they were about
Oh yeah, Joel pre screened them for sexual track. All right, cool,
well we Bill, we only have Joelle to do this
to read all the emails, so we had to We
had to it. And also it made sense we don't

(01:50:43):
want to bring on a contestant she doesn't it isn't
attracted to so she you know, physically, she thought they
were both beautiful, and then it was about like can't
we just bring them back one of the time and
tell them that they both won? So Joel gets everything,
So that neither one no game feel the same way
I feel Joe Welsh played a field also. Well, listen you, guys,

(01:51:03):
I do want to say that Sam is pulling a
bit ahead in the poll from the fans. Yes, I
see that, it's still very close. I mean, by the way,
we're in the thousands. Now. All right, here's what we're
gonna do. How about this? Um, Kyle, come on for
a second, are we ready with the surprise um end guests?

(01:51:24):
Because what we could do, if Donald you agree, is
go to the surprise end guest and then thank him
and then come back and see where this ended up
for her, him or her? Yeah? Do you want do that?
Is that a good plan? Now? Kyle? Is the super
Surprise guest ready? Uh? Yes? Why do you say? Still

(01:51:48):
working on his uh? The they're still working on his
iPad camera. The super Surprise guest has been emailed and
has been alerted that their camera is sideways and we're
trying to work that part out. Okay, So um, while
you worked that out, um, let's check back in with
the poll. Let's see where we are with the poll, guys. Okay,

(01:52:13):
I think Sam is really clearly no. Well, it's early
it's early. Okay, everybody, keep voting, keep voting. Okay, they're
both great candidates, But gosh, we put so much work
into this whole Find a poll that everyone could do.
I really want to respect the poll. Yeah, and why
did you guys only um hook Joe up? Is? Does

(01:52:33):
Danil need to be hooked up? Is Daniel just moved
in with his beautiful gal. Oh that's awesome. That's uh.
Nothing's gonna change it all, Daniel. Everything's gonna be easy.
That's all the same. She took me, She took me
pants shopping today because none of my outfits were good
enough for family feuds. So don't worry. We have somebody
more reasonable. But let me tell you never to change

(01:52:59):
my quote. Dan. I watched her take a sweater out
of my closet, and then she made a face about
how disgusting it was and put it in a trash bag.
And then she got it out of the trash bag
and tried it on herself, and then she smiled and
folded it up and put it in her I'm like
that that journey journey. Laundry so bad. You were doing

(01:53:23):
the laundry earlier, and I saw I saw Stephanie take
a hoodie out of the laundry that was mine, folded
up and put it in her pile, and I was
like that, I'll say it is not mine anymore, all right, guy,
So Kyle, bring them, if you would bring the pole down.
And I think the plan should be to an introduced
the special guest and then maybe give him or her

(01:53:43):
some guidance on their camera when we have them. Okay,
so um, ladies and gentlemen, this is a very special
man to us. Um. He uh is someone whose music

(01:54:05):
has been on the show quite a bit, and it
is also someone that we love as a human being.
And we are so honored that he said yes when
we reached out to him, Ladies and gentlemen, mister Colin, Hey,
oh it makes me so happy. Are you there, Colin right?

(01:54:27):
Can you hear us? Are you muted? Yeah? I can
kind of hear. It's cutting in and out, which is
which is a drag, but it's okay. I can see
you all. I know you're all there, and well we are,
we can hear you, and we are. I just want
to stay right off the bat. We are so honored
that you're here. And Scrubs fans love you, as you know,
and they love your music and they loved your cameo,

(01:54:49):
and uh, we're just we're just so thrilled that you're
here to play a song for us. No, I can't
thank you enough for using my music back then, because
I mean, it made a huge difference, especially live audiences,
that brought the average age done by about for two years.
Part of the way, I want to say that give

(01:55:10):
you a shout out, Colin. When the world reopens, you, guys,
and you see that Colin Hay has come to your city.
Anywhere on the world, anywhere on the world, you gotta
go see him. You know, normally when you go see
a show and the music act will stop and tell
a little bit of a story about the song. Colin
is so freaking funny that you're kind of simultaneously going
to a stand up act because he tells these stories
that have you laughing like you're watching a stand up comedian,

(01:55:32):
and then he goes into the most beautiful song you
ever heard. So I promise you I go every time
I can to go see him, whether it's New York
or LA And it's a real it's a real treat.
So make sure to go see him when he comes
to your city. M Colin is going to honor us
by playing one of his one of one of our
me and Donald and Bill's favorite songs that was on Scrubs.

(01:55:53):
So Colin, whenever you're whenever again Donald, Before before we start, guys,
just make sure you mute your Michael, you know, interrupt
him when he's going. Yes, everybody mute their mics. Here
he goes, Calm my mama. It's a beautiful world. I

(01:56:17):
like swimming in the scene. I like to go out
beyond the white breakers where a man still be free
or a woman if you are. I like swimming in
the ma mama, it's a beautiful world. I like drinking

(01:56:48):
Irish cheek with a little bit of a left saying.
I like making mouth te my mama, it's a beautiful world.

(01:57:10):
I like drama in my car. I roll the top
time sometimes travel, play, drop to the ocean, stare up
at the store. I like drama in my car. All

(01:57:33):
around his anger, automatic guns. There's death in the last num.
There's no respect of women for our little ones. Try
trying to Jesus. You just put me on hold, he said,
we swamped my cars. N Shaggs cold. Still this emptueness persists.

(01:58:06):
Perhaps this is as good as it gets. You've give
enough the drink and those nasty cigarettes. I leave the
party early last with no watch the sun as it
comes up and watching as this is as good as

(01:58:31):
it gets my mind. It's a beautiful world. I like
sleeping with Marine not so much anymore. She is a mystery.

(01:58:51):
She says she doesn't love me because she likes my company.
That's so my mama. It's a beautiful world. I like
swimming in listen. I liked White Breakers. Where are Man

(01:59:21):
Step free a woman? I like swimming in listening. Yeah,

(01:59:47):
that was so incredible, Colin. Thank you so much myself.
Thank you for having me. I have such a connection, Colin.
I have such a connection in my soul to that song,
and not only from seeing play it live, but also
how Bill used it on the show. And it really
is one. It really truly is. I'm not just saying
this because I'm in front of you. It truly is

(02:00:08):
one of my favorite songs. Thank you very much, Thank you.
I appreciate that. Um, thank you for honoring us by
being here. And please, if you're listening, I'm telling you
go see Colin hay when he travels, when the world
reopens and he comes to your city, Go see Colin
hay You won't regret it. Not just that if you haven't.
If you if this is your first experience, see look man, yeah,

(02:00:31):
see you soon. That's right, that's right by Colin. Thank
you so much. Um yeah, don continue. I think he
had a little trouble hearing. But but go on with you,
you're saying, like also, by the by the music. If
this is your first time listening to him, listening to him,
your first experience of him, or you know, he has

(02:00:52):
so many songs out there that are just so amazing.
M this is one of Zack songs. This is one
of my favorite songs. To another the song of his
is waiting for My Real Life to Begin. We put
that on the show as well. Um uh, I just
don't think I'll ever get over you. There's just so
many great Colin Hayes songs. So if you get the chance,
go get go get some Colin for everybody here. I

(02:01:14):
don't think everybody knows like Colin was the first one
that inspired us to build a show around a song,
and it was all of our cast, Donald doing it,
so I was acting it while singing, waiting for my
real life to begin, like it was the end of
a musical when that character passed away. And uh, even
though I thought our cast killed it, it was so
very pretty. Go listen to Colin Hay sing that song.

(02:01:36):
It's amazing. AMA's incredible. And if you're if you're a
young person and you don't know, you should. Colin was
the lead singer of a very famous band when we
were younger, called Men at Work and they have some bops?
Is that what the kids say, Joelle bobs? What the kids? Yeah,
my daughter say's their bops? You guys? Bops? Guys, they
have some bopsum, but you guys will love um. All right,

(02:01:59):
where it's eight old one, we're about to be finished
on let's check in with the pole and discuss. Kyle, Way,
did you refresh Daniel? Who's controlling them? Who's Who's Who's
um controlling? Joel? I was controlling it. It's got the
automatic refresh on. So those are the current accurate number. Okay,

(02:02:21):
well it looks like Sam one, so okay, you can
take it away, Kyle. Now, guys, let's discuss. I think
the fans all choose, you know, those who voted chose Sam.
I think they're both great candidates, and you could, you know,
you could have a wonderful time with both of them.
But I think, what's what what do you guys think?
Let's go around the room, Daniel. I was a fan

(02:02:42):
of them both. Um, I I'm leaning Brittany personal contra.
She she brought a really fun, confident energy to the
conversation and I was very appreciative of her. Uh. Sam
was an excellent candidate, an awesome person, seems like a
really really cool person. But there was just an energy

(02:03:03):
that when Britney came on the screen, especially after you know,
having to be the second act, and yeah, that was hard.
She had it against her and she came in with
really strong, confident energy and I appreciated that a lot.
And again Sam was an awesome, awesome person. And disrespect
to them, but all I I yeah, I mean, look,
I had already voted for Sam six or seven times.

(02:03:25):
You can only vote once, Bill, don't lie, so on
that thing, I was probably unfair. And I also did
tilt the scales a little against Brittany by making being
very exuberant about Sam and Brittany it's always hard to
follow someone that said I watched Joel light up when
Sam was talking about the date. Yes, because Joel knowing
her a bit better than you do, Bill Um, Sam

(02:03:47):
had her at Weed and Mario Kart. Yeah, all right, Donald,
what are your thoughts? I don't like one of them. No,
I'm being a heater, going No, I'm not being I'm
not being a hater. Hears about because the stupidest way
to judge them, that is not Listen, man, it's not

(02:04:09):
the stupidest price of ball. First of all, check your
second of all, the ball that's not That's not a
stupid way to judge anybody. Listen. I feel go ahead, Joel,
you and I would have a better date than what
those two said because we have better interests. Now, I

(02:04:32):
am married, yes, and I do have children. Yes, But
if I'm going out of town for a bit and
i'm gonna have I'm gonna miss you. So I'm thinking
maybe you and I could just have like zoom. We'll
not call a date because then it's crossing the line.
We'll have like zoom conferences and stuff like that where
we can talk things like it could be. There, have
you a suggestion I have a suggestion we talk star Wars.

(02:04:56):
We could talk a lot of things, you know what
I mean. I have a suggestion like just be like,
your interests weren't met in in these you're standing up
for Joel, but those two are By the way, you guys,
notice I've been drinking a candle the whole time? Is
that I really? I really did think? Oh Bill started
drinking too, and then no, it's just a prop candle um.

(02:05:18):
All right, here's the thing. I have a solution Donald
for your conundrum, and that is when Black Widow comes
out on July ninth, why don't you take Joel and
to the to the theater. I think you guys would
be the perfect people to watch it. You know what, Joel,
I'm gonna take you to see I'm gonna bring me you,
my kids, my wife, and your brother, and we're gonna
go see Black Widow. Okay, is that the seating has

(02:05:41):
to be that you guys are together? Yes, Bill, you
and me in the Heights because no one in my
family will go with me, just the Jost. I will
definitely go see in the Heights with you. I would
love to go. Okay, all right, let's do this d
Daniel didn't get invited. Daniel Dane sad body, It's okay,

(02:06:06):
you know, a busy streaming anyway, that Donald Joel great shit,
just leaving Daniel out again. All right, listener, well you
put up the stop Stop Hate graphic please, because I
wanted to say a portion of tonight's proceeds are going
to stop AAPI hate dot org. Um. If you don't

(02:06:27):
know what AAPI stands for, it is Asian Americans and
Pacific Islanders and as we all know what's going on
in current events, we here all stand very firmly against
hate of any kind and we are making a donation
to them, and we hope if you are open to
it and can spare a dollar or two, that you
give to them as well. So, um, that's something we

(02:06:50):
wanted to say. We also wanted to say, once again,
thank you to all the frontline healthcare workers that have
put your your own safety on the line during this
past year. And you know this was a show. Continue
to do it, and continue to do it, and Bill
this was the shell Bill created as a tribute to
all of you. So thank you so much for tuning
in and thank you for supporting us and for loving

(02:07:12):
the show, but just know that we love you all
so much. And also to everybody out there who's a
Fake Doctor's Real Friends fan, you know, the people that
you know joined us tonight, we love you guys so much,
like you know, sincerely, the one thing that was great.
There's a bunch of things that was great about Scrubs,

(02:07:32):
but one thing that was really cool is that we
had a core audience that stuck with us. And we
feel the same way about our Fake Doctor's Real Friends audience.
You know, you guys have you know, granted, most of
you are the Scrubs audience that stuck with us back then,
but you know, we truly truly appreciate all the love
and all the positive remarks and some of the hate too.
You know, I'm gonna keep it one hundred with y'all.

(02:07:55):
Some of the hate has helped shape the show to
be what it's become now, and so you know, I
love you haters too. Um and uh, And just thank
you to Bill, you know, to be sincere for a second.
You changed our lives and we love you and I'm
so glad that we're such good friends still. But but
I'll never stop saying thank you for changing our lives,

(02:08:16):
and also for introducing me to my life partner, Donald Faizon. Um,
I'm prepared to admit it's so adorable that a this
is not my podcast, it blongs to the four of you.
I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to be included. Um
and UM, it's so fun to watch, and you all

(02:08:38):
have no idea how much it means to me that
there's people that still care about something like a TV show.
It makes me smile during really crappy times and I'm
truly grateful for it, and I'm grateful to have gotten
to know Daniel and Joel as well. So, UM, thank
you guys wanting me to be a part of this.
I don't, you know, deserve it and you let me
come on whatever I want? Do you do deserve it?

(02:08:58):
We're talking about man, fans love fans love it when
you come on. Um, so what else should we say, Joell?
I mean, we're gonna announce the winner, but any what
else shall we say? Joel's gonna make the final decision,
doesn't she? I mean we don't all right before that's
the less the grand finale bill? What is there anything
any Joel or Danel want to say thank you guys

(02:09:21):
so much for listening and just being active participants. I
loved being in the chat. As Donald said so eloquently,
I love you haters, y'all, y'all feel me and drive
me to do amazing for people who someone said I
looked beautiful while Florence was on screen, and I was like, well,
that's now my whoever you were, thank you, it's my

(02:09:41):
whole spirit. It's just lifted up. You are very beautiful.
You're a very pat You're a beautiful person um obviously,
uh and physically in your face you're a stunning woman.
But you are a very, very very beautiful person on
the inside. And I feel, amongst the many blessings this
wonderful podcast brought us, it's a friendship with you two

(02:10:02):
and I. You know, when we first met these guys,
we didn't think that they would ever even speak. We
didn't know that they would be a part of the show.
And then we got to know them and we're like, well,
you guys should just be a part of the part
of the show. Because we didn't actually say that. They
just kind of had microphones one day. No, no, little
by little, there was there was once I got to.

(02:10:22):
Once we got to know them, we were like, you
guys have to be a part of the show. And yeah, absolutely, um,
and thank you to uh to to Kyle for being
our shout and thank you all. I got something to
say Eleanor, thank you eleanor the big thank you to
Eleanor for allowing me to be fake meant her to
be begin But enough of that crap about how you're

(02:10:44):
not into me and it's all about that, all right,
go ahead, Thank you, Zach. Thank you. Actually I don't
never I don't never get to say this. But when
this was brought to me, I knew that it was
a no go unless you said yes. And you said yes.
And now look at where we are. I appreciate your brother,

(02:11:06):
I love you and I and I honestly, uh you know,
this wouldn't Bizarrely, this wouldn't have happened, probably without the pandemic.
We might have started it but then gotten busy with
work and distracted and and so I really I look
forward to doing the audio podcast every week. It's it
gets us, you know, amidst all this. It's a fun

(02:11:27):
thing for us all to laugh and and and we
sense that we're making you guys laugh, and that means
a lot to us. You know, I'm gonna just be
real honest, man. You don't want to thank me, I
mean thank you that it was well and that was
like that was that was like what the fuck? Dude?
Like thanks? What? Here's what I saw? Joel thanked, Zach, Daniel, me,

(02:11:49):
and you. Donald uh Daniel thanked everybody. Only one person
didn't thank one person. It was only ex active Daniel
texted it, right, I mean, we'll do that again, right, ready?
Do or do not? There is no try? Is that
Frank is Frank? No, it's Donald Fazon doing his best

(02:12:11):
Frank Gus. Oh my gosh, I do have an impersonation now, okay,
it's so all right. I love you very much. I
love you more than you know, and you're very You're very,
very important to me. But you're welcome, right, you're welcome.
We go all right, So Joel, drum roll, Danel, do
you have a timpany lined up? I don't have a
timpany on the effect god to do all right, Well,

(02:12:33):
let's all do a tympany on the micro. Okay, Joel,
who will you be choosing for your zoom date? Well,
listen I respect the audience. So I'm gonna go with Sam.
We're gonna see how it goes. But no, be aware,
I have Britney's phone number. Okay. I think what's actually

(02:12:56):
gonna happen is you're gonna go on a date with
Sam and and maybe you'll go round you guys. We'll
hit it off. But if you guys find like, oh
she's awesome, but we'll be friends. It's not a vibe,
then you can take Brittany out and see how that goes.
You got it? Okay? But Sam want guys all right,
we did it. Um. I don't think there is anything
else to say, Daniel. I don't think there is either.

(02:13:16):
Is that static coming through? Yeah? I got static too.
It's perfect time. The show's ending, perfect time. Thank you
everybody so much. We love you and uh, that's the show.
Thank that is the show. Hi, everybody, we love you
guys so much. Thank you for coming out. Come on, Daniel,
watch out an away with me right that we're feeling

(02:13:42):
to everything letter if it feeling you need a little
bit of me at the perfect time.

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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