507: My Way Home

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is my last time in a closet this week.
So I'm moving into my Yeah, I'm moving into an
office actually too. Yeah, Okay, it's not fancy. It's just
me and my wife has organized a room to be
our office, and so I'll no longer be in a closet. Oh,
but it's I feel like everything's changing up because now
I'm in New York City and you're going to come

(00:20):
out of your closet. I hope we can make the
same magic. I'm hoping we make the same magic too.
I gotta tell you, guys something. I got two things
to tell you. Guys. You don't have anything to say
to me now that I'm across the country. There's nothing
you want to warm up with. You just want to
move on to some story about how your kid hit
a goal. First of all, I wasn't going to talk

(00:42):
about my kid. You don't hit Second of all. Second
of all, you don't hit it. No, well no you don't. Yeah, yeah,
you kick it, you make it, yeah it don't hit
those things. Um, I gotta tell you men. Uh, sometime
last week, my uh best friend got nominated for an Emmy.

(01:05):
It's like, what da I know? I can't believe it.
I can't believe it, dude, you can't. I could believe it, amazing, Donald,
it was about me. It was about me. It all
circled back then, it was about me. No, I'm really, really,

(01:27):
really thrilled. I have to say I will. You know,
usually with those awards things, you you, they wake up
at the crack of dawn because they come out so early.
And when I didn't get a call, I was like,
on darn, I really was excited about it. And then
I and then I woke up and I was reading
the phone like, oh no, they don't get announced all
at eight thirty in the morning, and so I was like,
I'm still in it. And no, I was thrilled. I

(01:47):
was thrilled. I was running around and I got to
go to dinner with Bill and and Brett and Hannah
from the show who were in town for the premiere. Joel,
you went to the premiere and did you have fun?
I had a blast. Let me tell you, Apple throws
Off party, I know who. The first time I drinking
like maybe four months two Hardsiders, and I was like,

(02:10):
I'm lit and I'm slut out too much. But it
was fun and on top of all of that, the
show's freaking amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so glad. I'm so glad,
and I'm just happy to be included. It's just really
cool and I'm I'm just very thrilled about it. I'm excited.
You know, when lose or draw, you wanted to get

(02:33):
nominated really badly and it happened, dude, and you didn't
have to go out and be like on the campaign trail.
Now you know I now you got I guess, well,
I don't know what am I doing. I'm in New
York City. I mean, I'm gonna come out for the awards.
Um and uh and go um maybe you'll be my date? Um?
I would. I would totally be your date. You're gonna
have to carry the back of my dress. You might train.

(02:56):
I don't mind doing nutshet Yeah, yeas queen, I'm gonna
wear it. Train Okay, yass queen. Okay. So that was
my first news. My first news is my best friend
got nominated for an Emmy. It's one of the biggest.
It's one of the biggest moments of his life, obviously,

(03:16):
because this is something that he's what's pretty huge, I
gotta say, because like you know, I really want to
be a filmmaker. I mean, I am a filmmaker. I
love being a filmmaker more than anything in the world,
and to be you know, I was thinking about this,
not to get serious for a splood second, but get serious.
You know, when I was a little kid, I was
depressed a lot, and my parents are going through a

(03:36):
bad divorce, and I was a melancholic child, and I
was thinking about how the half hour comedy cheered me up.
It was, it brought me so much joy. And you know,
we joke about all those sitcoms we loved and all
the joy we got from all of the ones that
we constantly reference on here, and I just feel just

(03:57):
so thrilled to be you know, we're talking talking about Scrubs,
which obviously did that for a lot of people. Donald
and I hear all the time how the show cheered
them up when they were in a dark time, and
and I don't know, and last so obviously did that
for a lot of people during the pandemic. So I
was just sitting there ler night, trying to fall asleep,
thinking about how grateful I am to be a part
of this community, and so how grateful I am that

(04:21):
this this thing that really cheered me up when I
was sad as a child. We get to be a
part of today and hopefully make other people smile. That's
well said, first of all, and I'm very, very very
excited for you and happy for you as well. The
whole household was like, holy shit. It's like it was
like when you find out somebody did something really freaking cool.

(04:43):
It's a lot of people are like yeah. We were
all like, holy shit, Yo, you fucking did dude. You
said you wanted to get nominated and you got none. Well,
I wanted to be in the mix. Everyone was talking
about the show, and I was like, I don't know
if I'm gonna get nominate, you know, because often it's
the pilot of a new show that we'll get nominated.

(05:04):
But interestingly enough, this show broke the record for the
most nominations of freshman comedy has ever received, which is
insane for mister Bill Lawrence. Bill La. I mean, yeah,
Bill broke the record. Our buddy who created this podcast,
and um and and then um and did not create

(05:25):
this podcast. I know, I'm just kidding, but um and
then and then so I of course was like, oh
my goodness, I'd like to be on the mix. You know,
I knew a lot of people liked my episode a lot,
which was the second one Biscuits. But you know, you think, like, oh,
is it gonna be the pilot director, But it actually
ended up being um three of us nominated for the show,
and UM mine was the earliest one, the one Biscuits,

(05:48):
which I'm really I'm really proud of. So I'm I
truly am happy to be in the mix. I'm honored
to be a part of it. I love this community,
I love being a filmmaker, and I just I can't
wait to go and have you carry my train. I
can't wait to carry your trainer. I've always said this
to you, man, I think you're a phenomenal actor, but
as much as you're a great actor, you're an even
better director. Dude, Man, thank you well that dovetails into

(06:09):
the hundredth episode of Scrubs. That it doesn't dovetail yet
because I got another set of men. I got sick
and I thought it was COVID nineteen, the Delta variant.
Thought you got that Delta, dude, I thought I got
that Delta for rizzle for rizzle, and it turns out

(06:32):
I inhaled way too much smoke while smoking weed. That's
what I'm talking about. That is what I'm talking about.
And so now I have I don't know if it's pneumonia,
but I have congestion in my chest and nose. Okay, well,
thank god it's not the delta. And you were talking
about going on a weed break again? Did that? Did

(06:53):
that happen? That impromptued a weed break like no other
within like this happened three days ago? And uh, and
let me tell you something right now. Yeah, weed is
weed is out the dough again, out the dough as
as they say, as they say where I'm from, it's
out the dough. Yeah again. I think that's good. I'm

(07:17):
glad you don't have the delta. I flew. I went
to Atlanta to do um a part on this movie
with Cole Sprouse. I gotta tell you, Donald, it reminded
me of of you and me on Scrubs because the
script was very funny. But then he was just asking
the director asked me and and Cole to riff. And

(07:37):
by the way, Cole has we share a Phil Lewis
in common because he was mister Moseby on the show.
I don't know the name we were, we were too
old for it. But on true what was it? Sick
Sweet Life of Zach and Coody, Zack and Cody, It
was a bunch of different versions of it, I think right.
He was on it a long time and but he
was telling me how much he loves Phil and I

(07:58):
was like, oh, my goodness. And he said to me,
he said, I don't know, you probably don't remember this,
but on the season finale, the season eight finale of
the show, when when Phil came back and everyone was
lining the halls, he said, me and my brother were
such fans, and Phil brought us to the set. Do
you remember that. I don't remember that, but I remember
meeting those two when they were a lot younger. Yeah, well,

(08:21):
when they were kids, and they were and I do
remember Phil bringing them to set because then I would
run into them after and they'd be like hey, hey,
and I would always take a picture with them and
send it to my kids, like yo, lakarm hanging out
with Yeah. Well, anyway, it was really sweet. He was
He's a really really, really funny and talented person. And anyway,
so we're riffing, right, and I haven't laughed this hard

(08:42):
since Scrubs. Dude. We were just we were coming. It
was like one thirty in the morning, you know, the
crew is like everyone's exhausted, and we're just riffing these
jokes like in this episode with the manatee and stuff,
and a zillion times with you or I just cannot
get through what we've come up with, and we're both
staring at each other, like you know, and You're like,

(09:04):
come on, like give me your slap in your face
like this, and then we'd be like and I had
to say this sentence and I just couldn't. I finally
turned the director. I'm like, I don't know if I
can say it. I don't know if I can say
that laughing. It was just so fun funny. Anyway, I
love it. That's great man, having a good week. You're
having a good fucking week right now. Bro. Yes. By
the way, BERLANDI texted me and he's like, you've got
an Emmy nomination and you're in my film. This is

(09:25):
a good week for you. It was. It was a
very good week, and I'm so happy to be talking
to you. Guys. I missed you, and I'm I'm really
glad to be talking about episode one hundred. I can't
believe you know, I wrote down one hundred. I was like,
that means we've made one hundred podcasts. I can't believe that. No,
we've made more than one hundred podcasts because we've done
special ones. Yeah, we've done specials. So we're up there

(09:47):
like one hundred and four hundred and five hundred and
six something like that. Well, this is a really really
I haven't seen it since we made it. This ship
has so many jokes in it, it's ridiculous. And I
just learned I missed a lot of stuff. And I
looked on you directed this, and you missed a lot
of stuff. Dude, Well no, I'm saying I missed. I
didn't know where a lot of stuff went. And then
I went on Scrubs Wiki and said, there's a there's

(10:08):
an extended ten minute long version on the DVDs. So
if you have the DVDs, you better go watch them
because I directed it, and I remembered all this cool
stuff and really funny stuff. Rob at the Zoo, we
shoot them at this. Where is said monkey? Yeah? Where
is said monkey? That's done in the show. No, it
wasn't no, it was hey, before we even get started,

(10:28):
Before we even get started. We are here to announce
the second live version of the podcast. Where's it called.
It's called Live Show two, Live Harder. I like that, Yes,
I guess what. We're gonna be joined by the legendary
Johnny c McGinley. Bam, and we're also going to be

(10:49):
joined by another surprise star that's gonna blow you out
of the water. Bam, bam bam. Let me ask you
a question, Zach, Yes, serves this glorious dates, extravagant extravaganza.
Ninth Donald September you're just taking too long. September ninth, everybody,

(11:10):
September ninth. It's a Thursday. It'll be six pm on
the West coast, nine pm on the East coast. Everybody else.
Figure out your own mass. But it's an extravagant extravaganza.
It's called Live Show too, Live Harder, with special guests
Johnny see McGinley and also another surprise guest, Joelle. I

(11:31):
believe will be glorious Galleria. Oh my goodness, I'm gonna
come Glory my lunch is the episode we'll be watching,
and you will see us on zoom and we will
discuss it. You'll see Joel's beautiful face. You'll see don't
get in the fact that Danield still doesn't have a dresser.
That is that is unfortunately true. Where do you put

(11:55):
your clothes on the floor? No, I have, I have.
It's don't get started. This is a plug for our
live show. Donald, you're gonna go back in the closet
for the live show. No, I think I have to
for sound purpose. Yes, so I think for sound purposes.
You are all right, everybody, live show, Please tune in.
It was a whole lot of fun last time, and
this time we're gonna have you more fun. And Joel's
gonna tell you where you go to buy tickets. Okay, folks,

(12:18):
it is Joel here. Get your pencils ready, because I'm
not gonna lie. It's all long address. If you don't
have a pencil ready, if you're driving, or running, or
doing many of the other things y'all do while listening,
don't worry. It's gonna be right there in the notes.
You can also come check out all of our social
media pages. We'll be sharing the link there. Okay, Hopefully

(12:39):
that gave you enough time to get your pencils ready,
So here we go. The address for the tickets is
htt P S colan backslash, backslash dev. That's d e
V dash one dot on location dev dot com, backslash, product, backslash,

(13:06):
fake hyphen doctors, hyphen real, hyphen friends, hyphen one. Again,
just the longest address, so we'll go over a one
more time. It's http S colon backslash, backslash dev, d

(13:27):
e V dash one dot on location dev dot com, backslash,
product backslash, fake hyphen doctors, hyphen reel, hyphen friends, hyphen one.
If you are entering this old school, shout out to you,

(13:47):
you're brilliant. If not, don't fret it just right in
the show notes. That's blow. If you're on iTunes, you
know you can just click the show description. It should
be there, Uh Spotify, same situation. If you're not using
one of those two, I'm not sure what to tell you.
I Heeart should also have it very clearly labeled. If
you go to iHeart dot com, you will be able
to find tickets. Come to us on the socials and

(14:11):
we'll be there for you. Yeah. So I'm excited, guys,
We're going to see you at the live show. Seriously,
don't miss this one. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
All right, see you guys in bite. When's that date again?
September ninth. Do you remember how Herman Kane used to
go nine nine nine. Yeah, Well it's nine nine two

(14:31):
one if and if you're in New York, it's gonna
be at nine yeah, nine nine nine nine nine nine
nine nine nine nine nine. Let's get into ours, Let's

(14:56):
get okay, Counsel Kevin about sure, we made about a
bunch of nurses stories, YadA, YadA. I remembered a lot

(15:25):
of things that weren't in this episode. And I don't
know the trivia if this when it aired was a
bit longer than what's on where I watched it iTunes
or wherever you watch it Hulu. Um, but there was
a bunch of stuff missing. And uh, there were longer
scenes like you when you first go meet mister Boulger,
who's my acting professor, David Downs, who changed my life

(15:47):
in a lot of ways at Northwestern, and I cast
him as mister Boulder. That scene was a lot longer,
and and and which one the last scene. No, by
the way, that seems great that scene was amazing. The
first scene you're talking about the Yeah, that scene, we
didn't get to that scene at the end. You're so
good in that scene, But I'm talking about the first
scene in the doctor's lounge was longer. There was a lot.

(16:08):
There's a lot that would cut out anyway if you
happen to be someone who owns the DVDs. I read
on Scrubs Wiki that there's on that and I guess
it must be the season five DVD. There's an extended cut,
which you should watch because there's a lot of stuff
that's cut out. And this was really special. I was
so honored I got to direct it in classic bill form.
He gave me ones that were impossible to make in

(16:29):
five days. I don't know how we shot this all
in five days or if we even did, but it
has so many classic funny Scrubs moments in it. We
got a lot done. Like there's so many jokes in it,
Like just first of all, opening up the show with Toto. Yeah,
now this is like right then and there Dorothy and
Toto together, You know what I mean? Cox is number

(16:50):
one thing to call you is Dorothy, And here's Toto,
right and yeah, and now so this is a set obviously,
and it's in the rank. I was just super analyzing
this whole episode because there's so much and even after
i'd like spotted a lot of things, there's a zillion
things if you look again, if you're really curious, We're not.
I can probably get to them all. But there's so
many references on scrubs Wiki. You can look up. There's
so many jokes. Dude, there's so many jokes in this episode.

(17:12):
There's no way I need to get past the fact
that I missed some of them. Like Rob at the
zoo going where is said monkey? They're looking for what
are they looking? No, no, no, they don't go to
the zoo. The kid is in the freaking hallway and
the kid went to the zoo like I took a
kid to the zoo or some shit like that. And
Rob comes in and it's like, kid, where is said monkey?

(17:35):
And the kid the kid's talking about a monkey and
another monkey doing something or something like that, and then
Rob's like kid, he grabs the kid. Kid, I got one,
I got one question? Where is said where is said monkey?
So Um opens the show with Toto, opens the show
with Toto okay, on the on the classic old iPod
and there's rain hitting the window and now this is

(17:56):
a one er that the camera's just spinning three sixty
and then it's speeding up within the sections until it
gets to me in the tub. Now I see this
meme all the time. This is like one of the
most common memes people have ever sent me, with me
lying in there and going it was awesome, and then
I go, mango body buddy, Yeah right. J D loves

(18:20):
living at Elliott's house. Yeah, it's very plush. She has
all these slippers and soft things and bathtubs, everything that
he's ever wanted but has never been brave enough to
say in front of Turk right before. He doesn't have
any money. I mean we've established it. Elliott parents are rich.
They help her out with her house, so she's got
a nicer house than we than definitely Turk and j
D head. I think Turk would enjoy this as much

(18:41):
as course, yeah, absolutely, yes, as much as j D. Okay,
So then we get to what the fuck is in
the mango body butter day? What did you eat? That's
a good question, do you remember? I think it was
like probably flavored cream, cheese, that's my guess. I remember

(19:04):
it was edible and had to look like body butter,
so I for some reason, I think it was like
not mango, but you know some you know, with cream,
cheese comes in all different flavor. By the way, if
you hear an incessant ice cream truck in my apartment
in New York, I have had so many elaborate fantasies
like doing mc iver shit to this fucking ice cream.

(19:24):
True if you live if you live in New York
and it's summer, you just have to get used to
the fact that you will always hear whenever the fuck
that song. That's not the that's the that's the that's
pop goes the weasel. The ice cream truck song is this, guys.

(19:49):
But the ice cream truck song is do do Dol
dol doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Yeah,
I think that's do but it's just NonStop. You just
if you're if you live here, you're required to accept
that you will hear that fucking song all day long. Yeah,
doo doo doo doo doo doo. I can hear him
right now. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. Now I

(20:11):
have laid in my bed and like thought like, Okay,
here's what I gonna do. I don't want to I
don't want to hurt the man's business, but I am
going to take wire cutters and when he's not looking,
I'm gonna clip the little pa speaker thing. The crazy
thing is you live in an area where they're on
a lot of kids running around the only reason why
he would need that song on is so that the

(20:31):
kids know the ice cream truck is coming. Eddie Murphy
did a whole skin a whole frea concession. Dude. He
is parked at the corner. This dude is just lazy.
Oh yeah, this does open up the door, open the door,
like I got ice cream, y'all? Anybody pass him in
any other place? The ice cream truck drives around you
hear it, and your brain goes, do we want ice
cream or not? Right? And then the truck leaves right

(20:54):
in my neighborhood. He's parked. They're all fucking gay. I'm sorry, bro,
And I thought about going to have a chat with him,
like how much ice cream and I have to buy
right now for you to turn for you just to go.
I just want to I want to reason with him,
being like, Bro, the song shouldn't be on all day
the song maybe once an hour, dude, what's this? What's

(21:18):
this fuel bill? Like, dude, if you've got that, it's
off the general dude, Dude, at the top of the hour,
play the song. Remind everyone you're here, but all day long.
I'm I'm I'm gonna, I'm gonna cut the wires. It's
such a culture shot coming from Los Angeles to New

(21:38):
York with all the sounds. Well yeah, I mean in
New York we all live on top of each other.
Yea la, we're a little bit spread, all right. So
we've spoken about this stunt a zillion times already, but
it was the most elaborate UM stunt we ever did
and expensive. It might not look that complicated to you
because it's just digging two holes, but um, like, as
far as OSHA standards go, you can't just throw us

(22:00):
stunt man in a hole you dug an asphalt. You
have to like support it because it was deep. So
the first hole is deep and had to be what
do you call it cemented, not cemented, but shored up
shored up is that correct term? Shore up to support
something or keep something from falling by placing something under
or against it. They shored up the roof. Okay, so

(22:22):
they shored it up, and it was and they had
to get permission from the city. I remember Randall telling
us it was a whole big deal. So the way
the stunt goes is that the stunt man it's a
wonner again, which is just to make it one step harder.
The holes are obviously not connected, but the stunt man
drives the scooter into the first one, and then the

(22:42):
camera pans and I'm hiding underwater holding my breath in
the second hole, and then the grips were banging as
hard as they could on the asphalt. That was my
cue because I could hear it very vaguely underwater, and
that's when I popped up. And we only had really,
I think we had two scooters because the scooter is
obviously instantly ruined, so we only could do it like twice.

(23:04):
And uh and it's hilarious. It really like we got it,
and we fucking got it. Dude, I can't now what
did you say? Um? Where was? Yeah? When you come up,
you say where was I, But you say to the janitor, hey,
do you know anything about any odd underground canals? Because
this is a whole riff thing. This is exactly what
I'm talking about what I just did with coal, where

(23:24):
this is one of those situations with Neil where we
were just riffing the stupidest hit and cracking each other up.
We could barely get through this. But yeah, I said,
was is there some sort of underground canal system? Because
I think I saw a manatee? And he goes straight face.
He goes, was his name Julian? And I go we
didn't exchange pleasantries. He goes, that's Julian, So yes, uh,

(23:49):
And there is a manatee that lives underneath the hospital
and a canal, and he's rude. He's not a friendly manatee.
He's not a friend. Oh, I forgot to say. And
here comes a biggin when I drive into the where
was I? So now we go into the ICU. Wait, wait,
the sneaker painting which gives me red ruby slipt and

(24:10):
of course the lines which is eventually going to give
us the yellow brick or yellow brick road. My bad.
Now there was a whole other little elaborate thing that
got cut here with the janitor, but again that's on
the DVD UM and then you're right, we go into
payback is a bitch? Payback, payback is a bitch. Now,
how did this is? My question is what did you

(24:31):
do to Cox? You call? You would call him in
back in the day on his days off, to make
it so that you so you wouldn't have to make
a decision, You wouldn't have to make a tough decision.
So yeah, well, when you're an intern and you're scared
and you don't want to make a crucial call. He's saying,
you called me in so many times for stuff that
he shouldn't called me in on. And I'm so happy

(24:54):
that it's now on you that this is happening to you,
that I've I've literally hired LaVerne's church choir. Bullshit. I
call bullshit right here. How do you get a fucking
church choir inside a hospital behind a curtain only to
reveal it when j D walks into the ice you
can see how did they know? How did they know
that you were coming into the ICU? How did he

(25:15):
know when you were coming in to close the curtain
and be like, I'm God, keep it down. I don't know.
You can see them. It's funny when you turn around
you can see all their legs beneath the curtain. I
didn't look for it, um, but yeah, that was funny.
And then they cut it out there used to there
was a version again, it might be on the DVD.
But where where I get all into it? I mean,
I get a little bit of the spirit and I'm

(25:36):
dancing along to pay back is a bitch? Really? Yeah,
I think in this version, just Keith sort of starts
dancing a bit. Got fucking Keith. Fucking Keith? Um. So
JD wants to get home, all right, so obviously we're right,
it's his day off. He shouldn't be in the hospital,
he should be at home. But he keeps getting called

(25:57):
into action, right, very similar to Dorothy falling into you know,
being twisted up into what's the oz? Yeah, and she
just wants to get home, and he just wants to
get home, and he's trying to escape the hospital, but
everyone keeps pulling him back in. I thought I laughed
out loud and when we gasped collectively when Judy this

(26:19):
is a webster. Yeah, it's just a sitcom. Did you
like Webster? We've spoken. I watched a few episodes. I
don't think Webster was one of my go choose. I
was more of a different stroke d guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know I watched quite a few episodes of Webster,
but I just I don't think. Ye. I thought it
was so cool that Webster had a secret staircase behind

(26:42):
the Grandfather Clark. See, I don't even remember that. Oh yeah,
Webster had his own little secret backstaircase behind I don't
know why he had this or who. I don't think
anyone else used it but Webster. But he had like
a little backway upstairs. What up to his room? Where
did it lead? I don't no. Did he ever used
to look up Webster and his secret grandfather clock staircase?

(27:05):
Now now now because it's a sitcom, did he ever
use it to escape? I don't know. I just I
didn't watch a lot of the show. Like, I'm way
more versed on different strip shows and the zillion others
that we've discussed. But um, anyway, um, that was very
funny when the bassinets all dominot like dominoes. Yeah, that

(27:27):
made me laugh. Also, I wrote down babies falling like dominoes. Yeah,
that was very funny. At four twenty one when Jack.
First of all, Jack is adorable, but he's so multiple
distracted and you can see that, uh Jordan Christa is
holding him and he's looking up clearly at the boom mic. Right,

(27:47):
did you have a boom mic over a little kid's head?
It's so distracting because they want to look at it
like and and that happens multiple times in this show
that he's either staring into the lens or looking up
at the boom mic that's floating right over his head.
And at that very end last epic crane shot, which
which was so elaborate, and I'll tell you how he
did it. But even then when car when Judy's playing

(28:09):
with him, you can see he's looking out the window
at that kid. Ruined every shot he was in in
this episode. So cute, I don't know. But he was
so sweet in the end scene with Judy when when
when when First of all, Johnny sees so good in
this episode, and it was so sweet in that end
scene where he's giving Carla pep talk and he says

(28:30):
it'll be different because they're yours and they both have
these matching giant blue eyes. I thought that was so
um sweet. And uh, Joel is saying that the staircase
went from the living room to the downstairs duplex they had.
That's what it says on the interwebs. I have never
seen this show. Okay, anyway, it was probably their back staircase,

(28:51):
but it was it was hidden behind a grandfather clock.
I don't think it led to like a secret webster
layer or anything. What about both women, we'll talk about
something that an age, well, both women being sexually attracted
to Rudy Giuliani. Yeah, that's what I was gonna write.
That's what I wrote. I was like, I wrote, Uh,
this was back when people liked Rudy Juliani before he
lost his fucking mind. And I'm that's not a political

(29:13):
thing to say. Okay, it's not crazy. It is a
fact that the man has lost his g darned mind.
He's not misunderstood that dude's just crazy. You can be
a Republican, it's okay, but you have to admit that
Giuliani has lost his fucking mind. He's a nut job
with his fucking hair dye dripping down his face. He's

(29:36):
a nut job. He gave his press conference at the
Four Seasons Landscaper because he thought it was a Four
Seasons hotel, and then still didn't change his mind, being like, guys,
we can't, we can't do this press conference in a
parking lot for a landscaping company. I'm just gonna do it,
you know, I'm just gonna go. We're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it. We're all here, Let's do it.
There was a crew member on the on the Cole

(29:58):
Sprouse movie who had a Forced Season's Landscaping T shirt.
I want one, one I want anyway. You know, this
was around a time when Giuliani was still such a hero,
you know, after he was such a badass during nine
eleven and he you know, he was people thought he
could be president and he was. He was he was
a hero, and so it was. It didn't it wasn't

(30:19):
out of place for these two women to be like,
oh my god, Giuliani. Yeah, now it's a little out
of place, especially after especially after bore at two and everything.
I think I think that there's you keep you can
keep saying there's been a low point, but they just
keep coming. So um. Anyway, the press conference at the
Landscaping Company was one of them? All right, Rabbidu is

(30:41):
Elliott's intern? Did you see that? As Scott Rabbidu my
stand in who you guys see? Uh? Who you guys
heard on the on the special episode with the with
the standings. And also later we see Renee as another
one of another interns and Rabbi they both have lines,
so that was good and delibered them well, they both
did a great job. And then Elliott calls her interns

(31:04):
rock tours. Yeah, and then and we learned that Elliott
is hiding right because they all think she's good at
what is it? It's um end of chronology chogy or something.
She went and did a she went and did a fellowship,
but she only lasted five days. And she's come back
all cocky about all her experience and they're like and

(31:28):
and even Cox can't figure out how she's getting all
these answers. We learned that she's hiding them all over
the place, which is very funny. While Ted's band is
singing maniac which was phenomenal. Also, uh uh, you didn't
go to Assphace school, but you seem to be doing
a great job at that, and then you running over
and giving a high five. Yes, and I got right,

(31:49):
and she goes and he goes, you got a high five?
That really? And I didn't know. I didn't know what
it was for. I gotta stop doing that. Yes, okay.
First of all, there's no am I right and I
go here's um. Okay. First of all, there's no reference
in the show at all of you go getting out
of control with high fives at all at any point
in the show. There were there were cut. There was

(32:09):
other ones in this episode that were cut. So when
I watched it, I was like, wait a second, I
don't I don't what huh? I thought that would have
been a great time for Todd to show up out
of nowhere. Yeah, you know what I mean? There was,
but I think there was a really there were like
this was another runner of in the episode, and it's
probably in the ten minute long version, but it was
not in this one. But I did laugh. But but

(32:31):
then when I saw inflatable five, I was like, yeah,
you can't bring them in with that high five. You
gotta bring him in inflatable. Everyone's got all this present
now you you you commissioned a kelso bubblehead. That doesn't
feel like a cheap present. No, it doesn't at all, doesn't.
Not only not only that that was the bubbleheads that
we got as rap gifts. I think yes. So what

(32:52):
happened was, I obviously the prop department found a company
that would make you know, special bespoke bubbleheads, and then
once Bill saw how great they were, he hired them
to make for all of us. We all got um
you know, they weren't like professionally made. I mean they
were made by an artist who made these things. And

(33:13):
we each got all six or seven cast members. Yeah,
everybody got one. Do you still have yours? Yeah, somewhere.
Some of them are broken. I still have them somewhere.
But that's where Yeah, that's where Bill got the ideas.
And it was a really nice present from it. It
was such a great present. I love this. Did you eat?
Did you eat? My mango body butter? No? Schmuel a bagel.

(33:39):
Everyone brings in presents because they're all trying to schmooze
Kelso to get this heart transplant, which also sets up
this device that you're looking for a heart. Elliott is
looking for brains and Carla is looking for courage, correct,
because Carla doesn't want to have kids. After babysitting baby Jack, right,
she babysits Jack for not very along and realizes, fuck this,

(34:01):
I don't think I have it in me. This kid's
are painting the ass. I don't want this, right and
Cox later points out to her that when it's your child,
it's different because she's like, I want to smush this
kid's face. Now you want to smush your kid's face too.
You just don't do it. You just you just don't
do it like my kids. Mike, Okay, so here's a

(34:22):
great example. My kid had a great, uh weekend, all weekend, right.
He played on Saturday, scored two goals in his soccer game.
He's a huge fan of basketball. Now, right, so his
favorite team is you know, whichever team is in the playoffs.
So right now, Phoenix is his favorite team because he

(34:44):
likes Devin Booker. He's only he's only seven, now, you
gotta remember that. So he loves Devin Booker. He really
likes uh uh, Chris Paul, he likes DeAndre Ayton. They're
the Phoenix Suns and they're going up against Milwaukee, which
have Okay, now, they have this is the end of
the tournament, the end of the season. Janna started to Kompo,
Drew Holliday, Chris Middleton are the stars on They have

(35:07):
plenty more stars, but those are the three. Sport so much, dude,
It's the craziest. It's the craziest thing ever. This dude
wants to watch documentaries. He's listen. He's watching Kobe Bryant's
detail to try and figure out how to play better basketball.
I got video after video of him from when he
first started playing basketball to how he's playing now. His
shot looks really good. He's ripping people, he's shake, he's

(35:28):
got moves, whereas before he couldn't do any of that. Anyway,
this kid tells me last night, I mean two nights ago,
that it's my fault that the Phoenix Suns lost. Why
when they because he couldn't take the pain. And we're like,
it's okay, baby, don't worry about it. This is how
basketball goes. Crying yeah, crying, crying, Yeah, dude, I've cried

(35:53):
at basketball games several times now. But why I understand.
I can understand he's crying his team loss, he's upset.
Why is he blaming it on you so, because we're
trying to calm him down, and we're like, baby, it's okay,
it's quite all right, don't worry about it. This happens.
It's just a game. And he looks at me and
he goes, it's your fault. They lost, and I go,
it's my fault. How's it my fault? He because he
didn't root it hard enough for the phoenix suns. Oh my,

(36:18):
oh my god. Maybe I'm not ready to be a parent, dude.
That's what I'm trying to say. Lack of logic. Their
lack of logic. Ye frustrated. You want to smush your
own kid's face too. You just don't do it. You
just don't do it. That's funny, that's funny, Oh man,
you just don't do it. When he said that, I
was like, wait a second, I didn't root. You must

(36:38):
have laughed in his face, though, Dude, I'd laughed so hard,
and then my wife laughed so hard, and then he ran,
he ran away from us. Now you're laughing at me, dude,
this kid man, well you it's the ultimate nature nurture. Man.
You really created your own mini me. Just wait till
he's like, dad, will you teach me how to anime.
Oh no, that's not gonna happen. Please don't do that.

(37:00):
I love to animate and everything like that. I want
him out the house right now. Animation takes a lot
of time inside. I want to playing sports. We got him,
You got him playing sports. You did it. We did that. Now,
look I come into the ICU and um, I'm I
have bloody hands when first of all, I'm not in scrubs. Um,
I'm in just a normal ICU bit and I'm on

(37:23):
just a normal ic bit and I've got completely bloody hands.
It looks like I'm digging in someone's open chest. Cathy,
you are digging in someone's word. I don't think that
that's medically accurate. I know Scrubs is surprize itself on
being medically accurate. I felt a bit much in the
middle of the ICU. I laughed. I laughed very hard.
That's a very funny. I'm a little busy now here.
And he plays up your hands with the ball on it. Now,

(37:45):
she's a maniac. And he and not only that, Sam
Lloyd pours the water on himself. Like the movie, what's
the movie? Flashdance is what it is for those of
you who are too young. Flashdance was a movie about
a dancer who were worked and steel Mill, Yeah and
Detroit or something like that. You know who to start
at show? That movie was Jennifer Bee a k A.

(38:11):
Bet On L word. Oh right, right right, sorry? Which
is a show that I'm on? I forgot streaming now
on Showtime if if I'm correct, in August, it'll be
streaming on Showtime. So and this is where we see
you have sex? Huh? Well I have sex on I
have sex on scrubs too. But I know, but don't
you have um don't listen, man, listen, listen, listen. We

(38:34):
are not allowed to get into it. Let's just let's
just say. Let's just say there's some intimacy. Okay, but
what episode? Because I'm not gonna watch With all due
respect of the L word, I'm not gonna watch all
of it. I want to see your coins. I'm in
damn near every episode. Listen. I will, I will, I will,
I will, I will. Uh, I will tell you when?

(38:55):
When are you unwilling to let our fans all across
the world know when they might see you simulate sex
on elward? No, I want everybody to see it. Okay,
I want to see it both your one, Amanda, um
uh know exactly which episode is the best? Six sex scenes?
Oh wait now, hold on, now, hold on now, I'm
about to say I don't have that bridget Tin body,

(39:17):
so I don't want everybody thinking they're gonna see uh
I know. But Casey and Amanda, Remember, they get all
hot and bothered when they talk about episode six, which
I never made it to see, but I watched. I watched,
I watched it. It's not it's oh, it's like girl
Girls soft chord. Yes, it's yeah, it's like skin a Max.
Is it like skin a Max? No, because I could

(39:38):
get off of skin Max. It's well, Amanda and Casey
they love that guy. Yeah, I'm really I'm really anxious
to see what they do this, not me personally watching
the show, but what they do to bring back that
type of hype this season on that on that bridget tension.
I can't believe that guy left. What was this reason

(39:59):
for leaving? No, he didn't leave. He's apparently he's only
supposed to be in the first season. Now they're going
to go into a different family, and they wanted him
to come back and play like in like a few
episodes and not pay him. And he was like, I'm good.
Oh oh, we are going to take a break and
when we come back, we're gonna talk about Christa's giant inflated,

(40:20):
silicon filled lips that are hilarious. How did they do that?
The magic of cinema will be right back and wrap

(40:44):
little Oh me? Lamm? Was that too loud for you? Nanel? Damn?
I So you got new headphones? There are those the
latest and greatest headphones on the market. Mine, we're just
starting to peel away and the leather on them was
starting to just like get into my clothes and hair.
So I needed a needed an upgrade. You got some brand,
brand new headphones. They don't even look like headphones. They

(41:05):
look like that's a radio in that motherfucker already. Wow,
they look like very Do you remember et at the
end of the movie when they're all on the bikes
and that kid puts the headphones on his head, remember
radio house? It looks like those what brand they Logitech
G seven thirty three. Oh, but they're good for gaming,

(41:26):
They're quite good. The main selling point for me was
the lack of leather and the long wireless range so
that I can you know, walk around the house with
them on and not have to take them off and
spy on my friends when they think they're talking behind
my back. Now, does have a microphone built in for
when you're doing your live twitch stream? It does. I
don't use it, though. I still use this setup because
it just sounds so much better. Okay, by the way,

(41:47):
thanks to it. Thanks to all of y'all for for
shouting out the twitch on the podcast. A lot of
people came, oh, really did make it rain? Well, they
made it rain, and I did do a little twerking,
did you Danel Daniel? I think I'm pretty sure. I
texted the group saying, by the way, I'm streaming today. Okay,

(42:08):
will you do it again? You got to say, by
the way, I'm twerking today? Now I'm streaming today, Daniel.
I've been um, I've been traveling and changing my whole
life too, and I really I really need to know
when Donald and I can come make it rain, So
please do text us on the group chat again. I
will this five five pm this Wednesday. Now, if I

(42:28):
come on there and you're in some wizard game, wait,
when is it? When is it five pm this Wednesday,
It's eight pm. And uh. And by the way, if
you are a person who likes watching people play video games, um,
you gotta follow Daniel on Twitter and Instagram because they'll
tell you when he's when he's going live. I will.

(42:49):
There are people out there, believe that are not Donald,
that like to watch other people play video games. My
kid is one of them, believe it or not. Yeah, well,
but let your kid watch Daniel in it and have
your kid make it rain on Daniel. My but what
game does he play with? Daniel? What a game are
you playing? Well? Right now, I just started a new

(43:10):
segment and I'm playing the new Super Mario game. Mario.
Everybody likes it. Like that game? Everybody likes it? Yeah? Yeah, Now, Daniel,
wouldn't you want to pick a game? And this might
be the answer that that is as as popular as possible.
So it's like it's like a stripper. She wants to
pick the sexiest outfit so that the most men surround

(43:31):
her on the poll and throw money at her. Do
you do you strategically pick a game that a lot
of people like? That is a great question, Zach, And
sometimes yes, sometimes know when you play the most popular
game in the Twitch interface, you're then up against everybody
else who's playing that game, like put exactly, so like

(43:52):
if he's playing, he's at the top of the list,
and then he has twenty thousand viewers, and then the
next person has like eight thousand, and then seven thousand
and five four, and so I don't even show up
at the top of the list. If I don't have
thousands of views, a smaller game, got it, I show
up higher on the list. I really think you should
play Tetris because I bet there's no one doing it

(44:13):
well and you'd be number one. That's very kind of
you to say, I'll get into some Tetris and we'll
see how I do. What game would you like to
see him play? Well? See, the games I like are
very very, very popular game, so there's going to be
a lot of people twitching them. So like, hey, gta down,
I love I love I love Breath of the Wild.

(44:35):
I love uh Okay, Like, dude, Breath of the Wild
is still like I know we talked about this when
we first started making this, uh podcast, Daniel, You're absolutely right.
That might be the most perfect game ever made. Dude,
Like if you're into dungeon dragons or you're into like

(44:55):
just great, it's just great storytelling, great visuals, simple graphic,
simple enough graphics that that that, uh, but not too
crude that you like, this is bullshit. You're like, you'll
you know, it's it's enough that you're like, wow, look
at this. I'll tell you right now. Best graphics I've
seen in a game that the type that I like
Red Dead Redemption. Dude, when that first came out, Redemption,

(45:17):
you were going to say that that game is beauty.
When when that game first came out, I was wanting
there's a lot of people that play it, Like he said,
it's a popular game, but that games next on the backlog.
I had a vote between on my on my Discord channel,
I had a vote and Super Mario Odyssey beat Red
Dead Redemption two by one vote. Wow. Wow. I was

(45:39):
about to play it, but then the people chose I
would I would have been on that game with you
watching it. I'm pretty deep in the Red Dead Redemption
up until pandemic happened. When I was in New York
doing Emergence and Jersey doing Emergence. I mean, dude, I'm
gonna tell you something right now. I was playing the
shit out of that game. On my time off. I
would go to work, I came come home and just

(45:59):
play that game. Can I extreme anything? Yeah? Anything? And
it does have to be can have to be PG
or can it be R rated? It can be r rated.
You just can't, you know, there's no like nudity or
sex or anything like that. But you can do whatever
you want. Okay, you can't. You can't manhandle yourself. No, no, no, no,

(46:19):
not on Twitch, but there are websites for that. That's Patreon.
That's only fans, only fans. My free can do my
fid Okay, okay. Hustle, I'm just thinking about a side hustle. Oka,
It's a good side hustle. Back to the show Donald,
It's called The Scrubs. It's hundred episode. UM. Patrick Bolton

(46:44):
is a nurse. Patrick Bolton our friend who's the set dresser. Um.
He is a nurse in the scene when when everyone's
hiding from from Carlo, right before she realizes she doesn't
like kids, and then one of my favorite scenes we've
ever shot together comes up. Oh the lesbian cloud. Lesbian cloud.

(47:07):
Now I remember this being like made up on the day, Right,
this was in the script, was it? No? I think
we're at the point where Bill is now writing the
script as we go along too, though I don't know.
I don't know that, I don't know. I'm not saying
I'm not saying that we came up with it, but
I'm saying I feel like I remember this. There were
different iterations of this joke, and I think that the writers,
by the we were playing with it on set, and

(47:29):
it took a while till we ended up with what
it what it became. But the milkshake pool on the
lesbian cloud and if they write and if and and
what was the other thing? And if they and if
they betray us? They end up in the in hey,
I'll watching the view, Yeah, next to the unreachable cupcake table,
right right. So in the second act of the show,

(47:51):
after we've all established that we the different things that
the characters want Allah Wizard of oz Um, it takes
on a more like bold Okay, we're officially in the world.
So the colors are all saturated, meant to like mimic
the vibe of Chechnicolor back in the day. It's very bright. Yeah,
it's bright, and the costumes are more saturated, and I
think you know, you know, Judy, I remember is in

(48:12):
that like Hot Pink. I think everything was sort of
cranked up. It wasn't just in the coloring in post production,
but also in the in the costumes. But yes, you're
still in a muted outfit except for your shoes. Eh. Yeah,
I'm totally muted. Um. I don't know why I chose
or Carrie chose me to be in like Brown, but
I am. Um. Now, this body bag thing is really funny. Okay,

(48:35):
there's a few things wrong with the scene too, And
I didn't have to go to scrubs Wiki to see
the ship, right. I remember this when it's obviously a
foam fire extinguisher and Johnny is clutching it so tightly
that you can see it's fig right, you can see
him squeezing. Well, he's nervously. I was. First of all,
this is an example of how someone directing and they're
in the scene can fuck up. Because I'm in a

(48:56):
fucking body bag. I'm not exactly seeing that Johnny is
nervously squeezing the fire extinguisher, which is just a piece
of foam. It looks really funny when you rewatch it
because he nails me with it, and then of course
we should have switched it out. But in his close
up he's like squeezing it like it's a pillow. Yeah,
Castle baby, Johnny Castleman. That dialogue is so funny. Dead

(49:20):
people should remain dead because I thought you were dead?
Then why are you hitting me? Because dead people should
be dead? Very funny. And then the janitor needs an
oil can. So I guess he's sort of the tin
man in this story. Okay, so if he's the tin man,
then what is Carla? Was the line? Because that's courage.

(49:44):
You should have been the tin man. I guess you're
the tin man. I guess you're the tin man. It's
just he's just getting that jokey line like give me
the oil can, oil can. Yeah, you need the heart now.
Ray Boulger is the name of the actor who played
the scarecrow. I'm so confused. The character that's donating the
heart is named Ray Boulger, right, which I can leave

(50:08):
is the name of the actor who played the scarecrow.
Got it because because it's because if you're really paying attention,
you have that awesome scene with David Downs and you
go Okay, what's his name? And he says Ray and
then it becomes clear that his name is Ray Boulger. Okay,
but here's the thing. The scarecrow didn't need the heart.
The scarecrow needed the brain. Then Elliot's the scarecrow, right

(50:34):
because actually Cox even calls her like your straw headed
scarecrow self. Right. Um, so Eliot's the scarecrow because she
needs brains. Right. The ten Man needed a heart and
the Lion needed courage. Is God's Carla? Right? And and
Jack is the wicked witch, but so is Jordan. No,

(50:57):
Jackson munchkin that turns grain? Are there green munchkins in
The Wizard of Oz? No? In the movie a horse
turns a different color. It's the horse of a different color.
Is the only thing that really changes color in the movie. Well,
I don't know why I assumed there was a munchkin
who happened to be green, because I didn't understand why
Jack was green because he's the witch. He's scary or no? Yeah,

(51:25):
well yeah, obviously that's that's that's meant to bring up
the witch. But I feel like because he's the scary
thing that uh Carl is afraid of that that's the
you know what I mean, But you know that's that's
an interpretation. I guess he could be another witch. There's
multiple witches. By the way, we just to return to
the lips. Those are kudos to the makeup department. Those

(51:46):
should look good. Those were just silicon or I don't
know what they were made of there, phip foam, But
the way that they glued them on, it looked so real.
It really looked like she'd been stung by a bee
in her lips. You know that should that sh Krista
had me Rolland oh my god, her having to explain
it all while she's doing it. Yes, like she could

(52:06):
be in the room and just do it by herself
and then let the action do it. But every mistake
she makes, she explains it to the freaking audience. That
shit had me roll. And the noises, the noises Christa's
makes are so funny when she goes I can't even
duplicate it, but it's like, oh, that was really funny.

(52:33):
How about when you when you're right? So let's talk
with the scene. With every downs you're acting is so
good in the scene, man, I appreciate it, and thank
you very very it's very easy to act when you
got a good director, yes, and a good scene partner
because David no doubt, wonderful shit actor and a really
good teacher man, great teacher and also just a wonderful man. Anyway,

(52:54):
he goes, Ugo, you can ask me anything, and he go,
do you shave your head because you like the way
it looks her? Because you're going bad? How do you
say one syllable and it's so funny you don't know?
You like held it back and then you're like, like,

(53:18):
you've never revealed that to another soul. I'm gonna be
honest with you. I think it's all of us working together.
At this point, I was, you know, you look for
new ways to say things, and I was very brave
at this point, and I felt like I could say
it this way, and I think I could get a
laugh out of it, and so you know, when you're
you know, that's that's It's not to make a big

(53:40):
story out of a out of one line, but that
when I watched that. When I watched that today, I
was like, Wow, that was a very interesting choice. How
did I come up with that choice? And my only
explanation for it all is like at this point I
was willing to try anything to make people laugh. Yeah,
well it was a good choice. It reminded me remember
were talking along while ago about Michael J. Foxon is

(54:02):
impeccable timing. It's like if you take the pause split
seconds longer. I think one of the things that's funny
about it is there is like the obvious amount of pause,
and then you took a few micro seconds longer, which
and then and then really hit the b hard. I
don't know it and your face. It was all very
very funny, and that scene is just very moving and

(54:24):
very simple and um. But even what he says though too,
even how he says it, though, you know what I mean,
why are all these people doing this? Because if you,
if your son gives his if your son gives his heart,
we all whoever gets convinces you, gets to do the
operation right. And he says, you know, these people are

(54:44):
all these people all I think it's something like I'm paraphrasing,
these people all want my son's heart, but they don't
even know his name. Yeah, And that just tells you
the disconnect that surgeons have really when you think about it,
from the people that they're operating. Yeah, but then you do,
then you do a very you say a very noble thing,
and that you can say, listen, I'm going to be

(55:05):
blunt with you. This is the right thing to do.
This that your child is not he's not going to
make it, and this heart will save someone who will
make its life. And you can you can say you
don't want me on the surgery, but it is the
right thing to do. And I thought you were really
good there. Thank you, but I gave myself goose bumps
describing your performance. I love it. Thank you. But here's

(55:26):
here's here's a question. Is that Turk's right to say
that to that man? Well, he asked his opinion. I
think I think it's Turk's right to say what he
if he's asked his opinion what he thinks is right.
You know, um, you know you should everyone. I want
to remind everyone to read a Manda's book which has
really stuck with me about Nick's passing and the whole experience.

(55:47):
It's called Live Your Life. You can get it everywhere
as an audiobook if you prefer to listen to books.
But there's a lot of doctors in there giving their
opinions and part of the battle that she had was
they didn't often line up and she talked to one
guy and he'd sit her down and have a heart
to heart and she'd be crying and go, okay, okay,
I got it. And then she'd go talk to someone
else and like, what the hell's he talking about? I
don't listen. Don't listen to doctor Tim, you know, and

(56:09):
she'd be like so confused, you know, because it isn't
it isn't an exact science. It's there's definitely room for interpretation.
And of course, in this situation, when it's time to
give up and say, yes, now you can harvest my
child's organs, I mean, who can say when that time comes.
But but Turk certainly had an opinion that, you know,

(56:31):
with or without him performing the surgery, that it is
it was time. It was the right thing to do.
And in terms of being able to save another human
being's life, right on, how about still I love it
when Bonds wins at the game that he I don't think.
I don't think Elliott knows who is so Barry Bonds was.
Let me see how much I got right. He was

(56:51):
a very famous home run hitter and he had huge
arms and he would hit the ball very far. And
then it came out that he was on steroids. Yes,
and they kept him in the in the Hall of Fame,
but they just put an asterix next to his name.
He didn't make it to the halls, but in the
record books they put an asterix next to his record,
his home run record. I don't know if they put

(57:12):
an asterix next to it. All I know is at
the time he was doing it, everyone was doing it.
So it's not this is this is this is where
the bullshit comes in ahead most of major League Baseball
at the time was doing steroids. Most of major League
baseball at the time. I'm not saying anything that nobody's
said before. Okay, the fact that he's penalized for doing

(57:36):
what everybody else was doing because he did it better.
Is that why I don't I don't get it is
a funny game to me, And again I know nothing
about it, but it seems like they're always trying to
catch cheating. Like there's this new thing I read on
the news where the pitchers are just like flagrantly putting
shit on the ball. Yeah. Yeah, And so now they've
made a rule where like the umpires. The umpires are

(57:57):
now going to like more closely inspect their hats and
their shirts. And and my brother, who's obsessed with baseball,
was telling me like, yeah, they will. They will do
anything they can to sneak a little gunk on the
ball to fuck it up and make it do weird shit.
And I'm like, that's where this game is so much
secret cheating in it, dude. Absolutely. You ever watch a

(58:18):
pitcher and they, you know, grab the tip of their
hate or they licked their finger, or they rub their
hair or whatever it is. Man, this is these are
ways to get an advantage. Because what about the guys
who were putting where are they putting cork in their
bat or something that was a long time ago. Yeah,
so it was lighter and they could bring the bat
around fast. All the problem is the bat breaks when
it's not solid and then you see there's cork inside. Yeah,

(58:41):
that's so funny. Did you replay baseball? When I was
a kid, I played a lot of pal baseball. One
year I got MBP of my PA L team, me
and my brother al Police Athletic League in New York City.
One year, me and my brother we were the home
run hitters on our team, that's all We hit home runs.
And I remember we made it to the championship, and

(59:02):
I think we're playing like another team from New York.
We played a bunch of teams, but we get to
There was one year we were really good and they
jerked us. Man, they freaking bought out a machine out
of nowhere, and and we had never so funny. I
never heard of all the sports you love, you don't
talk about baseball, munch. It's boring, man, It's boring to
play and is boring to watch. No disrespect to all
my major leaguers out there, but that shit. You know,

(59:25):
unless you're up, or unless the ball comes to you,
or unless you're pitching or catching, it's a lot of
waiting and watching. My father, my father rest in peace.
He loved watching the Mets, I mean love him. He
would scream, he would scream at them, and he would
be so mad, and he was just say to me, Zach,
if there's one thing in life that's certain, the Mets

(59:48):
will always let you down. I don't know if that's true, Dude.
They've won you, They've won two. I never seen him
happier than in nineteen eighty six, But I mean I remember,
like remember that being like one of the happiest times
of his life. Yeah, there are no Joel just reported.
There are no asterisks in baseball stats. So he's in

(01:00:10):
the record books. But most people consider him a cheater
and don't count his wins. They can just consider a
lot of people cheaters. And if that's the case, you know,
I wonder like, no disrespect to and no disrespect to
all these major League Baseball players out there that that
did steroids, because I you know, I know you, I
know why you did it, to keep up with everybody
else who was doing it. But it's just like Lance Armstrong,

(01:00:34):
like he how many interviews did that guy say I'm
not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything,
and then it all came out that that was all
fucking lie. Well that's different. He was the only one
doing this shit though, No, his whole team was. No,
everybody is exact. So then so then there it is.
If everybody's doing it, you can't fault Lance for doing it,

(01:00:56):
then can you. All you could say is, dude, when
you were in those interviews, when you went in those
vin views, so people ask you you lied that's all
you could really say. I mean, what's that old thing consistent?
If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it?
You do it? No? No, no, no, no you ump No.
Jumping off a bridge is killing yourself. These guys are
trying to win money, dude, they're playing for money. If

(01:01:16):
you said to me, we're all jumping off a bridge
for a billion dollars, I'd be like, all right, I'll
give it a shot. There's that great documentary, um, what
was it called? About a billion dollars? Watch this documentary.
I saw an eCos documentary. He's a dickhead. I saw
a ship. I saw. But I'm telling our listeners to
watch it because it's fascinating. It's one of those documentaries

(01:01:38):
where it starts out being about one thing and then
the guy totally discovers something else. I love those kind
of documentaries. And it's about it's about cycling and doping
and everything. Yes, all of this drug use and all
of these these things that people do are destructive to
their bodies over time. For these small windows of creating
like greatness and sports is not worth it to just

(01:02:00):
a human life. And that's the angle we need to
change because everybody's like, why not just do it? Then?
If everybody's doping, everybody should do it. We're telling people
to kill themselves faster through sport for our entertain and
I'm saying it's your call. Look, that's what you just said.
I'm saying it's your call. For a billion dollars, I
can understand why you did it for a million. For
that money, I understand why you did it. Dude. I

(01:02:21):
saw this meme that was like, let's just let all
these Olympic athletes take whatever drugs they want. Let's see
how fast somebody can find Let's see what goes. Let's
get there. You want to see. You want to see
what's happening. You want to see the real deal. Holy Field.
You want to see what enhancements we can have. We're
talking about wanting to meet bionic people. Let's go all
the way to add and you get there. Speaking of drugs,

(01:02:42):
I have to tell you that now that marijuana is
legal in Manhattan, you really don't smell anything. But we
just it's just it's like I passed a woman in
Union Square Park pulling a bong. Hit Yes, Freedom, Donald
was there? Water? Was there? Water in the bar? Yeah?

(01:03:03):
She was just in the know the park, pulling the
bong here. I love it. It's hilarious, but you cannot
it's just the constance. I'm sure maybe you'll die down
when the novelty is over. But I've been here a
few days and all you smell outside is weed. So
I'm on a group chat with all my friends from
back home, and all of them when this thing dropped,
We're all like, dude, this is the best day ever,

(01:03:25):
all of them so excited to smoke weed. People just
falling house street like cigarettes. It's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, that's
New York. Baby. We're smoking blunts before blunts everywhere. Um,
I know, I bet you white owls and freaking uh
and uh Philly blunts and Swiss or sweets have never
been more on the come up as far as stocks

(01:03:47):
go than they have in this fast few months since
New York, where it's it's really funny and and yeah, anyway,
you'll see when you come here, you're gonna come visit me,
aren't you. Yeah, I hope, So I hope to bring
the kids to New York this year. Come on, my dude,
it's tough. There's a lot of us man I know,
you got to pay to fly a lot of those kids,

(01:04:08):
and open numbers are going right now. It's like, yeah, well,
the only thing I can rationalize for you is that
La County is particularly horrible. You can get the fuck
out of there. Well, it's not particular. It's not the
worst in the nation. How about that? No, I know,
but it's pretty bad, right, aren't they going back to
mass inside there? They started that on Monday today. All right,

(01:04:33):
let's talk about that big epic end crane shot. This
was really cool to do. Everyone we know I like
to play with cranes, and you've got Sam's bands singing
on the roof. And the idea was because it because
we were had the luxury of being in a real
hospital that we could crane down and see the end
of each story from the outside. Um. It was an

(01:04:54):
enormous crane. It was calling the Keela Crane, I believe,
And it wasn't even high enough. So they had to
build a construction, built a platform, um, and then we
put the crane base on top of the platform because
in order to reach Sam and the band on top
of the roof, it wasn't even high enough at like

(01:05:15):
whatever it was one hundred feet and that's why the
end shot is a high shot of you walking out
into the street and everything like right and not it
doesn't come down. Well, no, it does come down, But
then I wanted to go back up at the end
of the rainbow in this right, Okay, got it, But
that would be I always like when it's a crane
shot and it turns into a winner, like you mean

(01:05:35):
they come off and it comes into a steadicam shot. Yeah,
sh yeah, yeah, yea yeah. I love that. There used
to be a thing where like you would dangle a
steadicam operator off the end of a crane and it's
so dangerous, but they would literally you can see videos
of it on YouTube. They would like take a crane
up in the air, right, and then the guy would
be rigged, rigged, attached to the end, and then the
crane would come down and then just seamlessly, they'd unhook

(01:05:58):
the dude and he'd start walking and uh, it's crazy.
But now with all the advent of of of these
new rigs that are just you know, gimbals and their
remote heads that you can hold, so now they do it.
So that's on the crane. The crane comes down and
they unhook that it's not a human being crazy. Um,

(01:06:20):
thank goodness for that. But anyway, um, yeah, and you'll
see Jack looking at the crane because of course he's
a child and he's curious about the giant crane outside
the window. But I thought that was really cool shot
and I, um, yeah, that was so sweet. Sam's band singing. Um,
that's a Hawaiian Um singers rendition of that. His name
is Izzy. Yeah, I forgot it. I don't know how

(01:06:41):
to say his last name. I don't know if you
guys do, but it's like yes, and that that his
rendition is one of the most I mean, I mean,
you can't. You can't hate on it. He goes into
wonderful World and somewhere over the Rainbow and the same song. Dude,
well that's our show? Is there a caller? Joel? Yes? Well,
why don't we take a break and um and come

(01:07:04):
back with empty bladders? I'm talking about We'll be right
back and we're back. I'm on the Kelly and Ryan
Show tomorrow. Oh yay. I mean, I don't know if
it airs tomorrow. I'm taping it tomorrow. Okay, okay, okay,

(01:07:27):
but soon we'll see on Kelly and Ryan. Yeah, that's
a big shit, that's dope. Put your doing on Kelly
and Ryan. Bro Well, my movie I think is getting
pushed again because I'm so frustrated. But um, I was
booked to do it to promote Comeback Trail, my movie
with Bobby d um and I think it's getting pushed
again just because everyone's jockeying for for weekend Space. Um,

(01:07:50):
because it has a theatrical release, Um so so. But
then um, then the movie got pushed. So I'm gonna
talk about that. I'm obviously gonna plug our amazing podcast,
and um what else am I going to talk about
the Emma nomination. I'm about to say, you got a
nice little chance at a statue my life partner, Donald Phaison,

(01:08:11):
No I win that. If I win that, I'm going
to dedicate it to you. I'm not going to do you. No,
I will just sob on the floor. Look at him, go,
I got you got so many other people to think
if you I'm a happy wit and Donald Phaison, you
know it's funny. My whole life, your whole life. If

(01:08:32):
you're in the arts, you can't deny that you thought
about giving some great Award speech and and I was
laughing at myself the other night because I was like,
what if I did win, what would I say? And
I was like, wait, this is the first time in
my life where I can actually think about this, because
when I want a Grammy, there was no thought in
my mind I was ever gonna win that Grammar. I
was up against Tarantino and I didn't. I wasn't. I

(01:08:54):
didn't even think about what I would say, would you?
I don't remember. It was a blur, I think I was.
I can't even believe this. I think I was buzzed
because Carrie Brothers and I were at the bar, like
we weren't even. This wasn't even It wasn't you know,
it wasn't part of the section they don't put on
the show. It was you know, there's Grammys all day long.
It's like best Samba hip Hop Album, you know, like

(01:09:15):
there's Sazilian categories and M and I carry where that.
I were there and we got not drunk, but we
were buzzed. And then I won and I was like,
I just beat Tarantino, like I have nothing prepared to say,
and uh, I don't know, but this time I at
least thought like I should probably like in case I
wouldn't think of something to say. I think so too.

(01:09:36):
Speaking of samba hip hop albums, Dude, let me tell
you something right now. That bad Bunny got me going. Dude,
and I only understand one word he says, I only
understand one word he said, one phrase, He says, cool phenomenon.
That's my favorite line I've ever heard in my life.
Cool phenomenon. He did that ship is fired. Dude. There's

(01:10:09):
a show that I recommend that you'll like coomenon. I
think it's called This is Pop? Is that it? Joella? Yeah? Netflix?
The new documentary Oh my god, Donald, I have not,
but I've heard it. For T Pain he went into
a four year depression because Usher told him that he
ruined music with the with the with the what do
you call it? The vocal box? Everybody, everybody kind of

(01:10:33):
distant freaking jay z distim. He told all of the
rapper particulus, get back to rapping. You T pain in
too much? It's so good, So rude. Everybody doesn't. Now
everybody does. When you watch this documentary, which Donald, you
really should watch, you'll love it. The first episode is
about boys to man, and I didn't realize how quick

(01:10:54):
their downfall was once all the white boy bands came out.
So dude, that's that was for every body though. And
the crazy thing is that a lot of people don't
give props to the people that brought them, like some people,
like the one person that I feel like deserves all
the props in the world. When it comes to all
these girls that are out right now from when I
was a kid, from when I was from like ninety six,

(01:11:16):
I think Brandy, Dude, Brandy fucking every song you hear
right now is an incarnation of what she's what she
did back in the day. It's crazy. You know who
else is like that? And nobody brought his record He
was before his time. Craig David another one, Dude, everybody,
everybody was doing his music ten years later, doing his

(01:11:40):
style ten years later. It's just it's really interesting. It's
just I'm just saying it's really interesting. A lot of
people watching documentary the first the first episode is about
how Boys to Men became so huge and they were
killing it, and then then they started to figure out, like, whoa,
what if we just made them like pretty white boys

(01:12:01):
who could sing, like would that be bigger, and then
it was and then those guys, like those guys lost
everything and like they're playing the Vegas now it goes over,
it goes over and over again with everything. New addition
was the dopest boy band in the world. To me,
what they do? They came out with new Kids Are
on the Block? Yeah, yeah, uh, Jodicee and freaking Boys

(01:12:25):
to Men. What a dopest They came out with ninety
eight degrees and freaking Backstreet Boys and then Sync in
Oldtown and freaking the rest of the boy band. Yeah.
The only one that's interviewed, by the way, is Nick Lache,
which which is great. He's very he's very sweetened in
and but but and he he's very menchy in it.
But that's like you guys couldn't get anybody else that
can do this. Besides, they don't interview any other boy

(01:12:48):
band members. They don't want to admit to that. And
then at least Boys to Men is like they're there
one there, one member is ostracized. They don't talk to him.
They had a falling out. So in the AGA show,
it's only three of them, three of them. The base
I thought he got I thought he was injured. I
thought that was the reason. You know, there's like they
they're kind of cryptic about it, but they don't they
don't like him, No, Mom, it's like Bobby Brown and

(01:13:11):
New Edition. Y'all don't know about that shit. Y'all don't
know why Johnny Gil joined new Addition. Y'all don't know that.
Y'all don't know. I do because and then wrap by
little is that what you put on the call me down?
And the wrap by little oli you get when you
get too worked up. I do the slug the cloudcase

(01:13:33):
because automatically I'll be like, I'm sicking tired of this
and wrap little over all. Right, let's bring in the collar. Please, guys,
we got a call. You can talk some you know,
like a bot maybe talking about the episode. So come on,

(01:14:00):
give it up for Jared. Come on. It has been
a dream of none to hear the Oprah voice say
my name. Oh well, it just happened, Yared, it happened.
It's been it's been a dream of mine for Oprah
to say my name too. Jared's probably it's probably been
a dream of yours to be on the show. And

(01:14:21):
here's some of these pad sounds like you honor me, you'll,
you honor me? Yes, right, absolutely, Jared. You're our very
first guest since I moved to New York, and the
show has a has a lively feeling. This is the
hundredth episode of Scrubs. Oh wow, I am honored to
be on the hundred episode. That's you honor me, you'll.
You're not on a hundredth episode of the podcast. You're

(01:14:45):
on the hundredth episode of Scrubs. Yes, which was the
Wizard of Oz episode, as you recall, that's the one
we're talking about today. And you have an eagle shirt on,
which looks very dapper on you eagle. I'm riding. I'm
riding Donald where you call going from it? I'm calling
from Indianapolis, Indiana, Indiana, Ira. Come. Do you know anything

(01:15:07):
about Indianapolis? Don't go went back to Indiana? Yeah, Jackson five. Okay,
I was there once. I don't really. I was in Nap.
I've been in Nap before. They got sweet dunes there. Yea. Yeah,
they're like little sand sand hills, but they're big. We're
not mountainous. But Indianapolis. What is Indianapolis known for other

(01:15:31):
than the five hundred um, pretty much. Now, okay, the
Jackson five okay, and the Jackson five they're they're from
Northeast Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary, Indiana.
Let me say it once again. What's that from? It's
from the music Man Donalds. So there you go. Indiana

(01:15:51):
is known for the music Man too. Well, that's that's Gary,
not Indianapolis. Indiana is uh in a lot of songs.
Who are you waiting? I'm sorry? That was my boss
leaving the office? Jared's first day at a new job.
Oh really, it is my first day a new job. Yes,
what's the job. What's the job? I'm an accountant at

(01:16:15):
a luxury apartment developer. Okay, do you like the job
thus far? Um? Yeah, today was mostly just you know,
training stuff. But I've worked in the industry before, so um, yeah,
I think I'm gonna like it. Um was Did you
meet the asshole yet? There's always an asshole? Um? Not yet?
Does that mean I'm the asshole? No? No, I can

(01:16:38):
tell you're not an asshole. But there's gonna be a
day this week where you where you're gonna think of
me and you're gonna go oh, Zach's right, it's it's
jam right. Or why'd you go? Jan from the office?
Why did you go Jan from the office. I don't know.
I don't know what the first name that came into
my head Jan from the office that automatically makes you

(01:16:58):
say from the Jan. Who thinks I'm stealing her fucking
oatmeal out of the fridge. I don't want your fucking oatmeal, Jan.
Somebody probably just toss it in the trash. Yeah, calm down, Um,
all right, So do you have a question for us,
Jarge Coke? Jan? Yeah, calm the fuck down. Jan, I'm

(01:17:18):
not flushing tampons in the toilet, Jared, what are you
supposed to do? If you're not supposed to flush feminine
products down the toilet, what are you supposed to do?
That's not my area of expertise, Joel. You throw them
in the trash, trash, you gotta wrap them up. But

(01:17:39):
about feminine products, Okay, but I see all the time,
all the time, I see do not flush your feminine products,
And I'm going, Okay, what are these women doing with them?
I know they're going in the garbage, but do you
wrap it around a bunch of times? That's the polite
way to do it. That is, that is if you
have etiquette, dreaming at all, that is what you do. Now,

(01:18:00):
there's such a problem women are women do not flush
these things. Everyone's trying to tell you. It's become such
a pro Oh god, he's gonna get Casey to talk
about this. But at least we're gonna get to hear
her song, which is amazing. Why did you call me
and here I'm I'm excited to meet the whole day.

(01:18:21):
Well did you call Casey just because you want to
hear her theme song? No? I didn't call Casey, Okay,
I thought you No, no, no, no, no no no.
You don't need to hear from Casey about how she
throws away her tampons. But I just think that this
is clearly a big problem in this country because everyone

(01:18:42):
has to label their toilet. Why are you making that face, Daniel? What?
It just surprises me that this is a mystery. I'm
just it surprises me that they have to put up
so much signage to continually tell women please don't flush
him there and I'm here doing a public service announcement

(01:19:05):
for earth. Casey, Hi, Casey, Casey, come down here. Don't
these schools do. Tell me what these kids and that's what. Um,
it's an embarrassing reason that Donald has called you in shocking.

(01:19:28):
We want to talk about why, um, how to properly
get rid of a tampon because, by Casey, I'm sorry,
come down here, dools, don't tell me what to do. Jared,
you haven't heard that yet? That that's our new Casey

(01:19:51):
theme song that has an air yet what she's gonna think?
I'm the reason why this question is No. Yeah, Casey
has not with Jared. Not Jared. Okay, Jared, are you
trying to learn how to take it out of someone? Casey?
Jared accidentally put a tampon in his butt and he
doesn't know how to get it out? All right? No, Casey, listen,

(01:20:13):
I'm really asking because I'm in New York City and
every public toilet or every restaurant toilet has a sign
begging people please do not flush your tampons. And I'm
finally asking, as a man who knows nothing about this,
why are so many women doing this? And what's the
correct way? You wrap it up in toilet paper and
then put it in the garbage. Yes, that's what you're

(01:20:34):
supposed to do. But sometimes people are lazy, and I'll
be honest, touching those little the trash can in the
bathroom is it's the kind where you have to push
it to open. Yeah, and who wants to touch that
after you know, everybody's bloody tampon has gone in there,
right right, so you got to you know what, I

(01:20:55):
wrap it up. This is so gross. I wrap it
up and then I use my foot and I kicked
the door open, and then I throw it in there.
It's if I miss, I miss. You don't pick it
up round. No, I'll pick it up sometimes. All right,
Well get it, ladies, you're hearing it. That would make
the women's bathroom dirty. It in the men's bathroom, of course,

(01:21:18):
I pick it up's bathrooms bathroom so gross. Why can't
men piss in a yurnal? Why does it piss everywhere?
Exactly a fair questions. It doesn't even have to be
a yurnal. Come look at one of my bathrooms in
my house, do you know if you know, We don't
know if we talked about this before, but in the
in urinals these days, they put a little target for
men because if there's a little something to aim at,

(01:21:40):
sometimes it's a fly pretend fly or something. But if
they give men a little something aim at, then they're
they're they're less likely to splatter. I mean, maybe they
need to put a vagina on it. Oh shit, here's
my wife. Y'all. You will miss Bell every time, Jared,

(01:22:01):
I'm sorry, how to hear this? Good thing? You're not
broadcasting that whole office on your first day. No, I'm
in the conference room. Luckily, there's a restaurant called Craigs
in LA and they did something I've never seen before.
When you're standing at the urinal, you're on a great
already as you're standing there, and so any spillage or

(01:22:21):
splatter goes into the grate down into a drain. That's great. Okay,
that's This is what I don't understand because this has
happened to me several times. Now, What the fuck happens
on an airplane that people just lose all etiquettes and
decide to freaking destroy the airplane bathroom? Can you answer that, Jared?

(01:22:41):
Yeah you got Jared Campbell? Can you answer that question?
You have to pope, let your poo out before you
get on the plane. Yard the plane is not How
does Jared know everything about all this. He's just he's
a specialist in this area. We brought him on because
he's a specialist in public urination and poop. Jared, I'm sorry, Jared,

(01:23:02):
I'm all right. We gotta get back on you. I'll
tell you about the bathroom airplane. It's because no one
wants to touch anything, so they're all trying to pee
and pounding like all on the back of the thing
because they're not sitting. The people explode, fly try and
get you out, horrible aim. That's the second public service

(01:23:25):
before you take the plane mine. Okay, sorry, Jared, sorry
to hear that. Woo tank forever, all right, ever, tank
forever forever, ever, Go ahead, Jared. So my question is
mostly for you, zach Um. I'm out. That'd be funny.

(01:23:47):
He's like, why do women just kidding? Ahead? No, I
do have a question for him. You made him pout
do or do not? There is no try. What are
the challenges of directing something that maybe has heavy cgi
or a lot of editing? Um, when there's so much
unseen for the actors? Well, um, that's a very good question.

(01:24:11):
I haven't done a ton of it. I've only done
some of it. I haven't done a CGI affect things.
So Donald I did a whole I did a whole
movie that was all CGI except for the actors in
the apartment building we were in that not a lot
of people saw. It was called Skyline, and and it's

(01:24:32):
if you've got a great imagination, it's a lot of
fun and easy to do. If you don't have a
great imagination, I imagine it's very difficult. And you know,
it really does. It really does bring you back to
the most base element of when you're a child and
you're just pretending and you get on something and go
it's I just thought two kids playing in the park

(01:24:53):
and they were like literally sitting on the railing and
one kid goes, no, I'm in the front seat, and
in their minds they were on a motorcycle or a
car or whatever. It really just brings you back to
that just pure imagination and of a director going that
is a volcano that's erupting and you're looking at and

(01:25:13):
you're literally looking at a piece of tape um and
you just have to really sell it and and and
and go for it and really destroy yourself out there
because there's you're not looking at anything. Occasionally they'll show
you drawings or previous they can say like this is
what it's the spirit, Like this drawing is like the
spirit of what that thing is going to look like
or that monster is gonna look like or whatever it is. Um,

(01:25:36):
so you can at least have a thought in your
mind of of of of what it is. A lot
of times, unless it's a CGI movie, it's not stuff
you need to worry about. It could be like you're
in a moving car, who cares what's happening on the street.
But um, you know it is challenging. I'm sure when
it's you know, Donald did that Skyline movie with monsters,
and you certainly weren't looking at any monsters. No, there was.

(01:25:56):
We were looking at like when you know they used
to to uh uh abduct humans, and I remember we
had no idea what they were going to look like. Um,
they showed us at the audition what one thing would
look like, and when we were shooting it, I had
no clue. You know, I'm gonna be honest with you.

(01:26:18):
Making that movie it was a lot of fun, but
it was because we literally had no idea what it
was going to look like when it was done. And
so me, I personally I think that's Uh. I think
as far as uh special effects go, I love the movie. Um,
I think everybody should go out there and watch it.
Skyline shout out to you boy, Donald Faizon. But uh,

(01:26:38):
for for for the for the most part, it's uh,
it's it's when it's done well, it's all worth it.
When it's not done well at the end, you're like, man,
what what was I doing? But I mean, just for example,
we just all saw Black Widow and I was just
blown away by how seamless it all looked. And yeah,
a lot of a lot of times you watch movies
and you're like, Okay, I'm going along for the ride.
That doesn't look anything close to real, but I'm I'm

(01:27:00):
in the world the movie and I'm enjoying it. And um,
I thought that that that looked really fucking incredible. Yeah.
It's when you can do when you can get away
with stuff and it looks simple and easy, that's when
the CG is amazing, you know what I mean. Like,
I wouldn't have considered Black Widow a CG movie, but

(01:27:20):
after watching it like four or five times, now you've
watched it four or five times. Yeah, there's so much
there's so much CG in that movie. Oh yeah, and
your kids love it. Uh, they've not really watched it.
They've watched some of it. They're like, there goes they go,
there goes Flow. They love seeing flow, but you can
they can see it. Just skipped the beginning part where

(01:27:43):
they go, how come flow doesn't have an Italian accent anymore?
And black Widow? Why did she have any? Oh? Because
they can for an Italian accident. That's all right, Jared.
What's your next question? Um? Well I wasn't ask Joel,
do we want to tell the story? Um, you can
tell the story. Tell the story then, yeah, ok. Yeah.

(01:28:04):
The reason she reached out to me was, Um, I
actually pulled the um soup shower prank in college. Wow,
so you evil, evil man, dude, I am work. It
didn't work. It did work, Um, not as well as
in the show. But um, so we have Afraternian college,

(01:28:28):
we have a what was the fraternity? Which one was it?
Um Fi Delta theta Okay Neil Armstrong, Um, Burt Reynolds.
I actually lived in Neil Armstrong's room at Purdue University.
That's cool, cool, that's very cool. But it was the
third floor. UM had a communal shower that only one
person would use at a time. UM, but it was

(01:28:50):
like six shower heads in a square room. How do
you how do you how do you delineate? Like there's
six shower heads, but we don't feel comfortable being naked,
So I'm gonna shower alone. No one come in. If
he heard the shower running, you just okay. Yeah. So
I put the view on cubes on all sticks shower

(01:29:10):
heads and just waited for somebody to go in and
kind of waited in a room across the hall, and
I just kind of hear him turn on one at
a time, and he's like, what the hell is going on?
Smells like chicken in here, and you know, I kind
of just waited for him to turn one on, then
off and move on to the next one. By the

(01:29:31):
end of it, he just kind of said, screw it.
I guess I'm showering and water that smells like chicken.
And then he just comes out across the hall after
he's done, and he's like, I think there's something wrong
with our showers, with our water, and I'm trying to
keep it together. But I eventually told him, you know
what I did and where it came from and he

(01:29:52):
got a good laugh out of it. Let me ask
you a question, did you get you got this from
watching Scrubs? Then? Yes, of course I didn't get my
who's just crazy response that I was talking for. Did
he come up to you and say it burn from?
I don't think he really cared too much, but yeah,
he's like, oh that's that's great, good job. Yeah, Scrubs.

(01:30:14):
Can you take the fucking bully on cues out of
the shower? Now? Like turned into a paste afterwards. So
I pretty much just had to let the showers run
for like two hours? Are you wasting all my water? Yeah? Man,
doesn't sound. I'm glad you tried, and I'm sorry. I'm
sorry to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry we failed you. Yeah,
that's okay, it was worth it all right, Jared, It

(01:30:36):
is time for Indianapolis's favorite segment. It's time for It's
time little oh me, It's time to fix ye? Lie dad?
How can we rescue you from whatever ails you? Well?
I don't have anything super specific, um, but I did

(01:30:59):
just get married two months ago. Congratulations, Thank you. Just
kind of entering into a new realm of my relationship
and I just wanted to get your advice on that. Okay,
Donald m has been married before um, and he's a specialist.
He's the only married one here. Although Daniel could soon

(01:31:20):
be falling. You gotta stop saying that. Why I'm talking
about why not when you because you're putting a lot
of pressure on me. Well, she doesn't listen to the show.
That does not stop the Internet from them being like, so,
what's good Daniel? Yeah, what's good? Guys if you listen
to it, if you watch his twitch stream, be like Daniel,
when do you propose participates in the twitch stream? Perfect?

(01:31:42):
Even better? Better? Better, like Daniel, if you propose now,
I'll drop a Hondy on this. Yeah, that's what you do.
Anybody out there who got real dough. Yeah, get on
that twitch with DJ Daniel. Yeah, and make it rain
and make it rain. If he proposes in front of you,
when I say make it rain, make it rain, baby,
make it rain. Yeah, it'll make it rain. With twenties,

(01:32:03):
bring out them. Hondy's all right, sorry, Jared, Donald, give
him advice. You've been through this marriage thing. I have
no advice you. I don't know what the question is,
he said. He wants to. He just got married, and
he tips on being a newly married man. Enjoy that. Shit. Man,
you're in the fun stage right now. It's been a
couple of weeks, a couple of months, you said, yeah,
two months. Yeah, you guys are probably having a lot
of sex, aren't you. Yes. Well, well, my parents are

(01:32:26):
gonna listen to this, probably later. But you're petty, you're
a grown ass man. You married Doc. Still just a
little bit of a embarrassment. But you don't have to
answer that, Donald, but I can. I think it's safe
to say if the newly wents, there is copulation. Right,
So that being said, enjoy that because in a few
years it ain't gonna be every day. That's all I'm saying. Okay,

(01:32:47):
anything other than sex, you'd like to advise him on talk? Oh?
I thought that's what he was asking about. What about
the expression holly wife, happy life. Oh, that's true. All
of it's true. Every little anecdote you heard or cliche
you've heard is most likely true when it comes to marriage.

(01:33:08):
It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's the most
fun you'll ever have. But I don't know, I don't know,
I don't know what the advice would would be. You're
newly married. You guys are in a great state right now.
Try and keep it fresh the whole time until you die,
as long as you can. Say I far be it
from me to give advice because I'm not married, but

(01:33:28):
I think, don't be afraid to work on it while
it's good. You know, I have a stepmother who's a
marriage counselor you've heard me say, my parents are psychologists,
and of course I have a therapist, and they all
say like, don't be afraid, and they encourage people now
while it's good, work on communication skills. And you know,

(01:33:50):
if if someone you know who has a great relationship
book and how to keep it getting the love you
want is one my therapist, I know he always pitched
to people. But so that's what I've heard a lot
is like, don't wait until like shit goes off the
rails and you're like, now we need therapy, Like work
on it actively in the beginning, so that you have

(01:34:11):
a tool set like when shit does come up that
you can fight in a kind way if you will,
you have a way of communicating that's that's not mean,
and it does not as hurtful as it needs to be,
and because obviously disagreements are going to come up. It's
just like a normal relationship you've been in that wasn't marriage,
but now you've committed to each other for life. So
I would really encourage you to develop skill sets that

(01:34:35):
for communication that that don't make it everything become a
ten alarmed fire. You know, Daniel, you're in our successful relationship.
You don't get married. Can you give them any advice?
I echo that sentiment entirely. Make sure that you work
on everything. Don't let anything hang over your head, don't

(01:34:56):
let anything stew. Intrusive thoughts are pure really that they're
not real, they're just in your head. Just talk to
your partner about everything. Yeah, and be vulnerable. You know.
I think a lot of men are like, oh, I
don't want to seem insecure or I don't want to
seem weak. You know. I think it's really really good
to just be like, hey, this thing is bothering me

(01:35:17):
and I'm in my head about it, and can we
just talk about it. I think that that's very smart. Jared, Jared,
you get one good cry, then after that and then
after that, Yeah, that's did you get one good funny
he's trying to be funny, and then after that it's unnecessary.
So I'm just saying, right now, save that cry for
when you really need. It's like, no, this is like

(01:35:44):
the devil on one side and the angel on the other.
He's like, you can only manipulate your wife with one
good cry. Now, I'm saying after that, after that, after that,
I just want to animate, baby. I just want to
animate in the garage. Baby. Please just let me animate
in the garage with rebels on in the background. Please.

(01:36:10):
All right, Jared, I hope we help you getting the
love you want. That's the book I would think you
should you should get because I've heard that that's good. Yeah.
I think that's good for talking it out and uh
and communication, anything you can do to communicate better and
be honest. I think it's great. Well you can stay
see Yeah, Honestly, honesty is truly key, you know what
I mean. Obviously, how long are you guys? How long

(01:36:30):
are you guys dating before you got married? Um, we've
been together. There'll be five years in a couple of months. Um,
but we're supposed to be married last July and then
COVID cod um So you guys been together for five years,
so you guys know each other very very well, so
there shouldn't be too many surprises at this point. You
know we actually, I mean we lived together for two

(01:36:52):
years plus. Now you already did it the right way.
But you already did it the right way because you
know for a fact this is the person you want
to be with. You know what, you got a new job, Jared, thing,
this is a good this is a good time for
you to play. It's a good time to be Jared. Yeah. Um,
so be present and grateful and uh and happy that

(01:37:13):
things are going so well because I am happy for you.
And you can stay on because we finished the show.
This was the hundredth episode of Scrubs. Yes, Jared, can
I give a quick shout out? Yes? No, you may not. No, no,
let him Okay, shout whoever you want to shout out.
I need to shout out my lifelong best friend. He
was the best man of my wedding, Mike McBride. He's

(01:37:34):
the one that got me the shirt as a wedding present.
He also big Mike should have showed you this earlier.
I Bahamas episodes. Shout out Mike McBride. Mike. He is
in Germany right now. I'm studying abroad. Um, I wish
you could be here next to me on this podcast
because him and I, you know, watched Scrubs for forever together.

(01:37:58):
And yeah, he's gonna be really jealous when he sees
me on here. Oh well, I'm glad you're on, and
I'm glad Mike's uh gave you all those good Scrubs toys,
really nice gifts. I think if for getting one other
person that you need to shout out, Jared, I'm just
gonna shout out my wife. Yeah, she's actually a nurse.
So uh, I guess Scrubs maybe led me to marry

(01:38:22):
somebody in the medical field. You found her on Carlo,
You found Carlo. She's very much like Carla too. Oh
she'll bust anybody's chops for sure. Good. Um, well, Jared,
thank you for coming on, and thank you for the
kind words, and thank you all for listening. Joelle, is
there anything you want to say? You are great? Uh?

(01:38:46):
Are you asking about marriage and relationships that I'm giving you?
There anything you want to say? The listeners around the globe, well,
we'd say bye bye. Um, I don't know support Zach
and his Emmy nomination. If you have control over an
Emmy voter, lets them know Zach is the only way
to vote. Need it, We need it. You're a good friend,
good friend, Joel, all right, we love you. And how

(01:39:09):
do you want to ask Danel if he wants to
say anything? Dand do you want to promote your your
twitch stream? Come on? Tell him what you gonna do
him Sunday, And yes, I will twork for you. He
might even propose if you make it rain hard enough. Yes,
it can't be no light drizzle. It has to be
a freaking thunderstorm for him to do the proposal. I guess,

(01:39:32):
by the way, Daniel, that would be a great way
since you're since your gal doesn't listen to the podcast,
that would be a great way for you to propose,
and somehow Donald and I can be involved that way.
I think you should propose live on Twitch. I'll keep
that in mind if and when, If and when I
know you have a friend Brow I'm not if it.
Maybe it's ten years from now. They might not even
have a Twitch anymore. But it would be fun. Donald.

(01:39:55):
I want to get an only fans with you and
m dude, and we could do some really free in
crazy shit on it to boil each other up. See
what happens, dude, that would be so cool if we
oiled each up each other? Do we make like a
million dollars in two hours if we did that? Dude?
Matter of fact, when I'm coming, I'm gonna come and
hit you. I'm gonna come and visit you in New York.
I'm gonna bring some fucking baby. This case, we're allowed

(01:40:16):
to do things. If it's just for only fans, no, well,
we don't go. We don't gotta, We don't listen. That
doesn't think it's so. I don't think it's cheating if
it's me and you on only fans, ask her. I
don't think there needs to be penetration. All I'm saying
is all we gotta do is just get make it
and rub each other down with all yes. Yes, And
if they're shifting, they're shifting. How much money do you
think we can make if we did that? I don't know,

(01:40:37):
but enough to go on a nice trip to Europe.
Let's do it, yo, Jared, Welcome to the podcast Hit
Up Joel. If you want to hit up Joel's out
do not hit up. We're not getting we made, said

(01:41:00):
the janitor who loved him. I said, he just stories.
Netwals should no so gather around you. Here are gather
around you, Here are spect free. Watch your winds and time.
Mm hmmmm

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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