512: My Cabbage

On this week's episode, the Janitor tries to keep a bird in the hospital while JD tries to get Keith kicked out of Sacred Heart. In the real world, we've extended the deadline for the Hyundai giveaway! If you or a friend are in need of a car apply here: www.FakeDocsHyundaiGiveaway.com

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Listen, we're giving away a free hounday Tucson. I cannot
believe this is happening, and we need to make this
a little bit louder so the people out there know
what is happening. Yes, you only have until when Joel,
Saturday September twenty fifth midnight, So Friday into Saturday midnight.

(00:21):
All right, you're gonna go, and you're going to write
an essay that's a maximum one hundred words about why
you or someone you love should get this free unday
twoson and I have breaking news for you. You might
say that would be cool, Zack and Donald, but I
can't pay the taxes on the gift. Oh Zach, why

(00:41):
don't you tell them what is going to happen with
the taxes? Yes, Donald, we are covering the taxes. You
will not pay a dime in taxes if you win
this free hunday Tucson. Just so I'm clear, Yes, Donald,
go ahead, we're paying the taxes. Yes, we're paying the
taxes on. Yes. So what you're gonna do is, let's
say you or someone you know in your life really

(01:03):
could have their life change with a car. You can't
get to that job that you really wanted. You can't
visit that family member that really needs help being taken
care of. This is not for someone who wants a
car upgrade. Okay, please don't waste our time or Iheart's
time or Hunday's time. This is for someone who has
a true story that will be verified. So please don't
lie where your life will really really be changed with

(01:26):
the car and the good people at hunday are going
to give one winner a free Unday Tucson. I'm very
excited about this, and I'm very excited to read all
of your letters because you know I'm going to read
them all. I'll bet you will. Joel is going to
tell you right now the website where you go to
write your hundred word essay on why you should win
the free and I mean free, no taxes paid Hunday

(01:49):
Tucson for you or one of your loved ones. Joel
tell them where to go. Okay, guys, here's what you're
going to do. You're gonna go to www. Dot Fake
Doc's Hunday giveaway dot com Again. The address is www.
Dot fake docs. Like this podcast, UNDA, like the car
you could get giveaway that thing we're doing dot com.

(02:12):
Check it out apply for you or a friend in
need today. Yeah. Yeah, I just gotta say one thing
real quick. Yes, cute to motherfucking music. Hi, Casey, I
know you're hear my theme song. Oh you ever heard
it at all? No? If you put on the headphones,

(02:34):
I can play it for you. I think, hold on
one second, one second. Let me just make sure, make sure,
hold on, hold on, hold on audio assets segments, Casey local, Okay,
let's see here. Sure, open it up. Oh if it
takes you this long, Dan, I'll no wonder coming with

(02:55):
the fire? Jeez, maybe I won't play it, Casey, come
down here, and that's what it is. Fire, that's a hit.

(03:20):
That's a bob. That's that should be your ring tone?
Are you making that a ring tone? Yes? Is it
available yet or no? It is not available yet, but
we're hoping early next week. Okay, there you go. Everybody.
You're gonna have that ring tone, Casey, that needs to
be your ring tone. Yes, it will be. Um. I
have to tell you guys, and then I'll let y'all start.
But I just bawled my eyes out watching this damn episode. Obba. Yeah,

(03:46):
they need to play that like right now on I know, well,
you know, interestingly enough when when all I'm just gonna
say this, but um but since you're here, i'll say it.
When all of COVID started, this ending was sort of
the this explanation of how a virus spreads was sort
of going around the internet, and it's such a beautiful

(04:06):
uh well, in this case, it's a beautiful articulation of
how things spread. And then of course they play cold place,
fix you. Then you're done. Yeah, no, it's true because
it's like, it's not saying anyone's an asshole. It's just
it's that easy to just hurt someone without even knowing
you know, it's right, and and and and just like

(04:27):
what's happened, I'm sure with COVID, so many times someone
doesn't know that they have anything dangerous, they don't feel
any symptoms, and then they unknowingly pass it on to
somebody else who is perhaps an old woman who could
die from it, and that person never knows. They go, oh,
I wasn't sick. They don't know that they were a
carrier that gave it to an elderly person that died. Yeah,

(04:47):
well it's worse than that now. Man, So sad, this
delta version. I mean, I don't want to make I
don't want to make this episode about COVID. I mean,
well we can talk about it a little bit, because
that's what comes up. You know, this, this this green
thing that that flies around the hospital is really the
perfect example of how COVID spreads. Yeah, and now and

(05:07):
now the delta version, it's you know, it's in kids now,
and kids are getting sick and that's really scary being
a father of two young children. Well that well, if
you have people in your life, listener, who who are sorry?
Are you talking to me? Or her to her? Okay,

(05:28):
if you have people in your life, listener, dear listener
that are are I don't know, not believing the science
of it all, show them this episode because it I
think it does, in a very creative way, show how
a virus is so easily transmitted. How are you? I'm great.
I just want to say one last thing. It has
nothing to do with She left her sunglasses. She'll be back.

(05:50):
Maybe I should go and get her. Hold on Cassie
down here. Don't no nothing male raising these fools, So
tell me what to do. I don't know. Oh Jesus,
we don't need to hear you screaming. Yeah. I also
need to ask him about the room that he's recording in,
because that room is echoe. Well, we lost the magic

(06:12):
of Donald in his closet, we did. Unfortunately it sounds
sounding so so good, so dead. A last, let's give
him his notes. Daniel wants to talk to you about
how shitty your new room sounds. Go ahead, Daniel, Okay,
Well it's just a little bit more echoe in there,
um is it is there potentially like a different corner

(06:33):
of the room you could use or um, yeah, I
mean not this episode, but yeah, for sure, of course,
of course I'll get Yeah, I'll get one of those things.
I'll get one of those things. I think I have
one too, a sound panel with some foam nipples on it,
yea to surround him mic. That could work the you know,
optimally this is not you know, preferable, of course, but

(06:55):
it's like getting the corners of the actual room itself,
because it's like, yes, that will deaden it right around
the mic, but your voice is still echoing off the
you know, the walls of the room. Um. But you know,
then again, I'll see how much I can fix with
just effects. Maybe it's not gonna matter at all. And
when I get to editing episode four eleven or five eleven,

(07:15):
then we'll, you know, we'll see what we we really need
to do. Anyway, just want to put that out there. Yeah, yes,
you're very echoy. It sounds like when we have Johnny
c and he won't move from his dining room table,
and he sounds very echoy. But even with this microphone,
it's like that. Yes, I mean on our function of
the microphone, Donald, it's a function of the sound waves
bouncing off the corners. Shut the fuck up. Let's go five, six, seven,

(07:39):
eight about show nurses. Yeah, that was a whacky beginning

(08:05):
of it. We're gonna keep all that, Yeah, keep it
all all keep Donald even screaming at the top of
his lungs for casey, My Cabbage, My cabbage. Very wacky, whacky,
whacky episode, whacky episode, and very predictable episode. Maybe because
I remember it predicted at all. I remembered this, Maybe

(08:27):
because I remembered the episode so well. But when you said,
you know, I have an intern that keeps fucking up,
I knew right then and Air it's cabbage. You know
that was clear when you were saying I have interns
that are doing all these things. I knew it was
just one person. Um well, I remembered the green thing
solely because it went you know, viral no no pun

(08:49):
intended on the internet when covid started, because people thought,
oh my god, this is a really good representation of
showing that. So I remember seeing that I forgot that
cabbage on his way out takes out missus will Yeah,
fucker cabbage. Cabbage takes out a bunch of people. Actually,
but we don't even know cabbage. That's what so fucked up.
His cabbage doesn't know that he I forgot. When Missus

(09:11):
Wilke dies, I think she does, but he's yeah, yeah,
so he doesn't know that he did it. Yeah. So
Keith climbs into bed with me, and um, he gives
me a kiss because he's intoxicated and he thinks he's
climbing into me with Elliott and I thought you were
going to push him off. Well, all I say is tender. Yeah, tender,

(09:33):
What a weird thing to say. Like he might haven't
had a dating app that's Tinder, you might. You might say,
if someone culled you different, is that different? It's a
different way it's tender and Tinder different. Yeah, Tinder is
spelled t I n d R Okay, like tinder for
a fire. And he's said tender like a chicken tender

(09:54):
or being tenderly. Sh I thought tender was like, oh,
you thought a dating app was tender. I thought it
was like a sexual way of saying find your chicken. No,
he's saying that because it's a dating app, like you're
gonna be tender with your lover, like tender tender moments.

(10:15):
It's more like tinder fuck buddies. That's right, right, Okay,
I get that now, right. Isn't tender the most of
all the apps? Daniel, I'm asking you because you're in
the know. Um, isn't tender the most? Like hook up
E one for straights for the straits for the Yes,
that shit made me laugh so hard on Ted Lasso?

(10:37):
Oh like Grinder And everybody's like, yeah, yeah, just like Grinder.
That shit's funny, you guys. Yes, I don't know. Bill.
I told Bill that you've that you came clean, um,
and then you you've been lying the whole time about
watching Ted Lasso. What did he say? He thought it
was very funny? I said, that tunneled came clean, and

(11:02):
then now he thinks it's the greatest shoe ever made.
And he said, oh, I got to come on and
uh and talk about that and make fun of him.
Can't wait anytime. Yeah, man's on fire Man so proud
of him. He's killing it. Yeah, okay, So then I
see you and I say, he's a decent In my defense,

(11:22):
Keith's a decent kisser. Right. So when I when I
it's I guess when I woke up, I left out
a pleasure moan, right. I mean it's a little bit
it's a little bit unclear, but it sounds like when
I want it wasn't just a cuddle. It sounds like
I woke up and we made out a little and
then I let out a pleasure moan. And and then

(11:43):
I say something like you say something like, whoa, don't
you have any college things where you almost hooked up
with a guy or were you drunkenly hooked up with
the guy. And then we look at each other, yes,
and we realize we can't hang out for about Yeah,
this is just a stupid story point to have you
hang out with Elliott and not me, I guess, But

(12:04):
we learned that we must have made out in college
and drunk, drunk out of our minds. We totally hooked up, shocking.
We had a sword fight. Have you ever had a
drunken sword fight with a man? No, I've never had
a drunken sword fight with a man. Sober, sober sword
fight story. Have you cross streams? Have you crossed streams? Well? Yeah,

(12:27):
when your kids, you always cross streams, don't you. Okay, Well,
we're all standing at the urinals. I've been there, I've been.
I used to try and freaking make it. I was like,
let's make it sort. When it connects, it looks like one.
Let's make our ropey streams one. Well, I don't know

(12:47):
about rope. Have you found that your stream isn't as
strong as it once was? Oh no, it's nowhere near
Like when I was in my twenties or early in
my teens, that ship was like fucking I know, I
miss a thick stream. I listen to my kid go
to the bathroom. That dude sounds like I know, it
sounds like a thunderous, Like it's raining and thunder and
lightning is outside. This is like and we're only forty

(13:12):
six and forty seven. What the fuck my ship comes
out and it's like droop, triple drop, triple dripple dripple drop,
especially in the morning when you wake up, Daniel, why
are you making that face? You're headed to this. So
if you haven't happened to you yet, just wait. I mean,
I'm certainly ready for it. I'm just saying, if it's
really dribble drop, you should probably talk to you know,

(13:33):
But that's what happens to seniors. But we're definitely definitely
at HASHTAGT six. You don't have a thick ropey stream.
Oh my god, it's like ropes. Yeah. All right, so
Cabbage is really a fucking mess as a doctor, right, yeah,
Well he's not only a mess as a doctor. He's

(13:53):
like he's I wouldn't say he's aloof because a loof
you kind of have a you have some would have
a knowledge that you're that you're fucking up. This dude
is oblivious completely to the fact though I did laugh
when he when he fucks up the IVY and I
got some one you look out a no, no, that's
some of of the fun that you can have, right,

(14:14):
but no, but look and the fact that Jad's covering
for this dude because he kind of reminds him of himself,
and you know, it's it's a very dangerous game that
he's playing because he does he doesn't like Keith because
Keith's banging Elliott. Like we're not really clear on why
he doesn't like Keith. Keith obviously because Keith's um. You know,

(14:35):
he's jealous that he's with Elliott, even though he wouldn't
say that. Keith's very handsome. He looks like a ken doll.
He's ripped, he's got abs and dynamite, ariolas and um.
We also learn from Cox that he's the best intern
that the hospital has. So for all these reasons, JD
is green with envy and uh and and wants to

(14:57):
wants to take him down right when real this dude
is probably going to be his I don't know if
Keith ever becomes an ally an ally or just JD
hate him throughout their whole, this whole relationship. We'll have
to watch the rest of the show. And now I'm
wondering how they break up because I knew they I
know they get serious at some point too. Well. Travis
did a good job. Travis did you know how you know,

(15:19):
you know how you know you're doing a good job
to keep giving you more and more episodes. Yeah, he's
really come a long way in like the three four
episodes that he's been in so far, he's already starting
to fit in pretty well, you can and yeah, and
you can also see that the actor himself gained confidence
and which, yeah, of course that would happen. You know.
You you come into this cast that's been doing this

(15:40):
for four and a half years and you're asked to
just you know, get up to speed and join them,
and it's it's intimidating, and I think Travis did a
really good job. Yes he did. Um missus Wilke is
finally going home and Judy gets her a giant card.
I give a courtesy laugh, but I'm way more excited
to present my present, which is a DVD of famous

(16:02):
centers because she likes basketball. And you even got it signed,
got it signed by Kareem Abdul Jabbar. And everything's going
great until Keith comes in and his father plays flag
football with the actual Kareem Abdul Jabbar. I guess so
that which is hilarious, which is hilarious in itself. Karema

(16:24):
Abdul Jabbar playing flag football? First? How long are the
flags too? Who's he playing with? Because how is anybody
going to even be able to reach up and grab
said flags? I don't know, but I love the Kareem
Abdul Jabbar likes to act because, as we know, he
was in the airplane films. Yes, he was just on
Dave the TV show. I don't know, so did you?

(16:44):
By the way, you see the most recent Dave. It's
really bizarre and good where he goes to work with
the famous Yeah, great episode. I love that, really good episode.
You're not watching it again? Huh? I have yet to
watch Dave. I can't listen. Have you learned any lesson
from us begging you to watch so and now you
love it? Is there any lesson that you could learn
that maybe you'd try Dave? I mean, it's about rap,

(17:08):
it's about rap. That mean that doesn't mean much to me.
It's not Wu tang, it's Wu tang on it no
woo tanks forever. Remember that Dave is temporary. I'm gonna
guess tang. Let me guess the pads are still not labeled.
Let me guess what you're trying to get into no
Wu Tang forever, Woo Tang forever until little Dickie has

(17:29):
Wou Tang on the show. I'm not interested. Okay, I
don't know. I don't know. I don't doubt bullshit. I
just haven't think. I just I just thought you may
have learned a lesson when you got when you had
this epiphany you went. You guys begged me for so long,
and I loved Ted Lasso. You know what I did
start watching was Doogie Howser. Why because why not? That

(17:51):
shit holds up? Man? That shit is a freaking that shit.
Of all the things on television, I don't understand why,
of all things, you chose Dougie hows Or no offense
to Dogie Dodd Dude, that ship is fire. Yeah, it

(18:16):
literally it really does hold up. What doesn't hold up
is the little uh typing at the end. Yeah, when
he writes in his journal. Yeah, it's it's good in
the beginning, like in the first season and the second
season by the end of it not so much. But
why you decided to binge Dougie Howser, I just don't know.
I don't know if you tried any adult programs. Doogie

(18:37):
houses not for adults. I think Dougie Howser is meant
to inspire teens. I like. I don't know then what
you like. You like what I like? What I like?
I think you might like Dave because it has a
lot of things you like. You said that about Atlanta
I didn't like. I didn't like Atlanta. Okay, you don't
like a little well, look, Joel almost fell off her chair.

(18:59):
Look at it. I don't go fuck how everybody feels
about that shit. I like what I like. It's just
that simple, allowed Joe, you need a fan. Joel is
like a woman who needs to be fans right now,
I feel like I didn't need any fan a little
bit because it's maybe one of the most ingenious original shows.
Degree I didn't. I didn't hate Atlanta. I just didn't

(19:19):
have time for it. You know that's how it goes.
Let's move onward. Okay, Okay, listen, doogie howser all day
every day, just like Wu Tang forever. Baby, I'm gonna
need doogie howser all day every day on the soundboard.
We could. I'm sure we could get Neil Patrick Harris
to come on and talk. I would love to have
Neil Patrick Harris on the show to talk about I

(19:40):
told him to his face. I told him to his face.
I was like, listen, man, you don't know doogie howser.
When I was a kid, I fucking wrote for real.
I was righte and die doogie howser fan man Like, okay,
well everything. He went on to his representatives and see
if he'll come on. He's busy. That dude works, he
does so much. But if he does, I'll be married.
There's a lot of things, but this is a very
popular po podcast. Donald, we can get anyone you what

(20:02):
do you want the rock? Tom Cruise, We can get anybody.
You could get the rock. We can be sure we
could get the rock. Yes, Joelle, don't make that face.
I could get the rock. I know the rock. You know.
I would love to have the face was could the
rock and I'd be on the same zoom call. That
was blowing my mind a little bit. Yeah, that automatically
makes me want to smile like my kids, like just

(20:23):
the rock on the same zoom call as me and
me be I just it's just okay, get the rock.
If you could get the rock, if you could get
this would be The Rock has nothing to do with
Scrubs at least you've brought on. You brought up Neil
Patrick Carris as a show you loved and are binging
now for some reason, I could get him. But if
you can get The Rock and Kevin Hart, that would

(20:45):
make my life. If you like to do the impossible,
I like to do the impossible. Or if you could
get Snoop Dog that would be the best day of them. Now.
I don't think Snoop Dogs right, I would smoke weed
with Snoop Dog and you all. That would be the
I don't know if the I don't know if the
listeners really want to listen to you baked talking to
Snoop Dogg. But maybe they don't they do. How could

(21:07):
you not want to listen to me baked with Snoop
Dog all right? For chizzel? So then, um, it turns
out that Keith Kareem i'mszl Jabar says that that's not
my signature on the DVD. Apparently JD has forged his signature.
He's giving this will a DVD present and he's he's
chosen to forge Kareem I'm Duel Jabbar's signature. Yes, and uh,

(21:31):
and then I pretend that he's mentally disturbed, and I
say back to the psych ward mister Rosenberg, is that
what that joke was? You didn't understand it. I didn't
get it because he said, I think everybody knew that
that was Kareem abdul Jabbar. So I don't know. That's
why JD's pretending that he's a mentally ill man who's
pretending to be Kareem. I'm Duel Jabbar. So I say

(21:54):
back to the psych ward mister Rosenberg, Oh my gosh,
you're just getting that. Gosh. I just didn't see the
connection because it's clear that it's Kareem abdul Jabbar. And
I know that's what's so stupid about the joke. That's
what's so stupid about JD Man j D. Does JD
not realize that it's Kareem abdul Jabar. J D feels

(22:14):
that he can he can sway the room. Yes, he
can say the room. He can he can plant a
seed of doubt in Miss Wild's mind. Why do we
Miss Wolke is not nearly is impressed, and she should
have been that Kareem abdul Jabar walked into it. He
seemed pretty impressed. He was real happy, I know, but

(22:34):
I mean then the subject got changed and we're all
just talking to Kareem. No one's flipping out. I mean,
he's such a cool dude too, man like after scrub
I met him once before Scrubs and he was nice.
But after Scrubs, every time I see him, he always
says high And if you know Kareem, he doesn't always
do that, you know what I mean, Like, hell, there
are a lot of people that have asked Kareem for

(22:56):
autographs and stuff, and he doesn't do that. He's like,
I'd rather shake your hand because that feels more personable,
Like that's more, that's more of a connection, right, And uh,
every time I see him, I'll be like, hey, Kareem,
and he'll stop and go, hey man, how's it going,
And then he'll turn around and keep going. But and
keep walking. That's a that's a luxury. Not a lot
of people get that, and I'm very happy to say

(23:17):
I get that. And I hope you've reached hello. How
are you status? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, with the with the
great I know you're not going to watch the show.
But he also get a very funny cameo bizarre bizarre
guest appearance on Dave. But apparently the man, I mean, clearly,
the man likes to act because he's he's on a
lot of stuff. He's a fabulous writer. He's a wonderful writer, right,

(23:37):
and he's a wonderful, wonderful activist too, like an amazing activist.
Mick Head is out of prison and handing out orange jumpsuits, yes,
which makes it so that you know, we're in California.
California is can't be the only place with orange jumpsuits
in New York. It's like stripes with freaking the jail,

(24:00):
but orange jumpsuit is sort of like a trope of
a prison guard. But I think I don't know, you
know what, I don't know, but I believe that's the color.
You're Well's gonna look it up for you. But I
feel like there's a lot of that's just you know,
when people say they want someone to go to jail,
they're like, oh, I can't wait to see that guy
in orange jumpsuit. Okay, I truly believe I could be wrong,
but I do believe that it is You're Well is

(24:22):
researching where orange jumpsuits come from. Yeah, Arizona Department of
Corrections has it, and also in Australia. That's it. Arizona,
California and Australia are the only places where they have
orange jumps Why are you so sure about that? According
to Wikipedia, in the United States, to make a skate
more difficult, prison uniforms in the United States often consists

(24:44):
of a distinctive orange jumpsuit, and then they have different
colors for different levels of Uh. I never I never
put two and two together. That was to prevent escape.
That's that's part of it, and that's why they The
other one is striped so you stand out. I bought
I bought an orange sweatsuit. I immediately decided I wasn't
gonna wear it anymore because people were looking at me

(25:07):
a little funny. I think you escaped like I escaped
from the jail, from the prison system. Okay, Now, this
crow thing is so fucking stupid. I mean, I don't
even understand. Far be it from me to criticize the
master Bill, but this was the funniest part of the
episode to me. You didn't like it. The crow then
fucking through the pin at cocks and dropped and then

(25:29):
cox those the bed, pant at your face. Yeah, the
crow comes into the wrong room. The crow comes into
the wrong room, and he turned from he said, I
said one thirty six, and then he looks at the
sign and it's one thirty six and he stands. Corrected.
You didn't laugh at this ship, dude, I'm always stone
when I watched this show. This is one of the
best shows to watch. The Okay, but I thought you

(25:50):
said you were on a weed break, so I was like,
I am on a weed break. I don't smoke it
when we do the podcast anymore. Oh okay. You told
me that you liked it better when I didn't smoke
on the podcast, because I do. I do, yes, right,
So I decided before the podcast, I'm not going to smoke. Smoke. Okay,
good now, I said, I I'm just conflating my watching

(26:12):
viewing experience with yours because I usually watch right before
we I do not. I okay, all right, yeah, now, yes,
this is very stern or friendly. The crow and I
was not partaking. I'm not surprised that you found it
hilarious that shit was fucking the janitor the trains. The

(26:34):
crow was already trained because he said, let's see what
else you can do. The crow made tiny furniture freeze.
The crow lives in an old Christmas wreath. Yes, and
the crow, amongst many things, understands English, understands commands. I
also understand the art of mine, free me, the art

(26:55):
of mine. The fucking crow pretended to be dead at
the end of the I wouldn't have said the art
of the crow. The crow knows how to prodicta. The
crow knows how to play possum. And it got like
flicked in the head by Kelso and even getting plucked,
and even gets plucked and freaking stays still. I wish

(27:17):
the chrome made more episode appearances. Oh my god, why
does the crow? Why does the janitor speak Spanish to
the crow? Because he named the crow Sanchez? How do
we not Sanchez Sanchez, just like raccoon, cent Chez, raccoon,

(27:38):
raccoon and Sentez. Dear listener, I hope that if you
need to say the word raccoon, you say it raccoon,
right that shit have me roll? And I wish sin
Chez would make more episode appearances. Well, here you go, guys,
this is the difference between two different viewing experiences. But Sanchez,

(28:00):
how about when Todd comes in. Funniest part of the
episode by far is Todd coming in with the green
infection um tint on his anus and his mouth and
this and this and his crotch area. I didn't see
it on his crotch. I saw him his butt cheeps

(28:21):
and his mouth. So and then he says, he says
he loves Chinatown. Now that this is where I have issues.
Was this his first time ever going to Chinatown? Well,
what I inferred was that he went to Chinatown and
went to a brothel and partook with both men and
women for the first time. Yes, because he's he said,

(28:48):
he acts like he's never been to Chinatown. Chinatown is awesome.
That's pretty much. And I guess, I guess it could
have only been a woman, but there was clearly ass
play so ay and made me. It made me think
that there was also some male. We know that Todd
is is fluid, so I assumed in my mind that

(29:11):
the Todd went to a brothel that had both um
Asian men and women and he hung out with them both. Yes,
and yes, all right, So I won't let Keith, because
I'm such a prick, go to his grandmother's funeral. Yeah,

(29:32):
I say, Keith, Keith, I realize you'd like to go
to your grandmother's funeral on Saturday. Heck, we all would.
But you can't just take a day off whenever you
feel like it. And then we learned that Cabbage is
allowed to go to what the zoo? No see No
to see King Kong? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, because

(29:54):
he's an ape enthusiast. Yes, because well he's an ape enthusiast.
And then Cabbage does a very funny guerrilla impression. By
the way, this episode was directed by John Itedwood, our
cinematographer for All eight In eight years. Yeah, um, I
have a question to ask you. Is it John's first
episode directing? Probably not, you look that up for me.

(30:18):
I imagine he was directing, but he got to direct before.
But there's some cool trick shots, you know, with the
bed pan and and the crow that John came up with. Obviously,
King he did a really good job on this. Um. Yeah,
I just want to ask you one question. You I
need you to be honest with me. Go ahead. When
Cox mentioned doctor Acula, did you get excited? Yes? Me, yeah,

(30:45):
so excited, got so excited and it doesn't go anywhere.
I don't know why Bill decided to have Why in
what a world would Cox read the Doctor Acula screenplay?
I have no idea, but the fact that he doesn't
think it's no. And then I asked him if he
liked I asked him if he liked the Transylvania dream sequence.

(31:06):
He didn't want to talk about it. No, he was
out of compliments after that. Yeah, that was it. But
I imagine he did. I think he wonder why. I
really wonder why Cox took the time to read Doctor Acula.
He read the whole screenplay. Yeah, but he but that
was all he was gonna give JD. He was not
going to comment on the Transylvania dreams. All right, speaking

(31:30):
of dream sequence, this this is arguably the best in
the world, last, the best, and the weirdest. I laughed
so hard at the fact that these two are bathing
a pumpkin. All Right, Wait, we gotta go slowly. This
is John's fourth episode. Sorry, he did My Lucky Night,
her Story and my boss's free haircut. That shows you

(31:50):
how I'm no Trevor WICKI everybody, this is John's fourth episode.
We're going to talk about probably the weirdest fantasy in
Scrub's history. Maybe up there top ten me come right
back after this break and we're bad, bad from bad break.

(32:13):
Welcome ever, Welcome back break, doctors, real friends, welcomes you
back from that break. Did you like um? Did I
send you me singing um? Lame is with my friend Preston?
I really did enjoy that. Preston, Well, it's clear who's

(32:34):
the Broadway performer and who Why do you gotta Why
do you gonna fucking turn this into a diss of me?
It's not a disc it's just a Preston is really
fucking good. Yeah, but he's playing fucking javert on the
national tour. I can't sing like that, but I thought
I held my decent owned community theater self. I wouldn't
say community, I would say more high school. Oh my god,

(32:57):
I'm pissed. You know what, Joel and Daniel, I'm gonna
send you this video, my buddy. It's it's really good,
It really it's good. And here's it. No, here's the
honest and goodness thing. Zach sings on it. And when
he sings, I was like, very good, Zach. But then
he made the mistake of sending his buddy singing on
it too, and then it was like, oh no, here's
what happened, my buddy. The difference, My buddy Preston is

(33:18):
staying with me. Okay. He is an amazing Broadway singer
and piano player and tap dancer, and he can do anything.
He's a he's like a straight up like a straight
up performer. There's nothing you can do. When he walks
into a room and they say, oh, which park you sing?
Barrett's owe tenor soprano, He's like, which sing? He has

(33:39):
the sickest range ever. And he before COVID shut earth
down was playing Javert in limb Is on the national tour.
He has he has that, he has that kind of voice.
So we're hanging out on my piano and we start
singing one of the confrontation between Jean Valjean scenes together

(34:00):
and Josh Raden was here and he started videotaping it
and I kind of did okay, And I didn't know
you did great. Hold on, don't get it twisted. You
did great. It's just that when he sings, it's a jump.
That's all. Okay, I get it. I'm not saying you suck.
I was very impressed. I was like, look gone, Zach gone.

(34:22):
That's like saying when you if you're hanging out with
your buddy Savion Glover and you're doing moves and it
looks goods when I'm so easy, I'm see. That's the
difference between you and Isaac. I know when to say, yea,
you're absolutely right about that. He did fucking shut me down.
I could take it. You can't. You're Zach. You're you're

(34:43):
Zach Braff. It can't be that way. I'm gonna send
Daniel and Joel this video and their response is not
going to be yes. Your voice is not as good
as Preston's. Their reaction is going to be not bad, Zach.
But I didn't say you were bad. I didn't say
not bad. I said it was great. I said great.
I should eat you know what you should eat? Let

(35:04):
me guess a bag of dicks. No, it's gonna say
d's nuts, all right, the pumpkin fantasy. So let's just
go through this, Okay, after dicks, Donald, let's go slow. Okay,
your character, JD is a fantasy that Turk won't be
a good parent. Because Carlos says Turk won't be a

(35:24):
good parent Carlos says it, Oh, sometimes I worry about
you being a father's Yes, okay, So in the fantasy,
you I'm on my way home from picking up the
hollow on the pumpkin from the pumpkin patch, and you
leave the baby at the pumpkin patch, where another person
finds the baby and takes them and raises the baby
on its own right. Bring the baby home, yes, Carla.

(35:48):
When Turk brings the baby home, Carlos says, well, it
is cute. Yes, And you use a couple decide that
you're not concerned about your real human baby no longer
gonna You're gonna raise this pumpkin as your child. We're
gonna raise this pumpkin. Okay, So you raise the pumpkin.

(36:09):
We see the first bath, We see the first we
see the pumpkin playing little League and get by a pitch. Yes,
a lot, by the way, a lot of time was
put into this fantasy, but usually the fantasies are like
quick pops. This was this took a lot of photography.
This was a day of filming. It plays little League
and then and then we see at the college graduation

(36:30):
with the pumpkin. No, the high school graduation with the pumpkin.
I think it is okay, I think yes, high school graduation, right,
and you're it's wearing a it's wearing a cap. Yes,
it's it's graduated. It's graduating. And then you dropped the pumpkin. Yes,
and the pumpkins splatters all or shattered, right, whatever it is.

(36:53):
Pumpkin's destroyed. And while you and Judy are mourning the
death of the pumpkin, well, we think we could save
it by putting back together. Right, Turk's actual kid, Junior,
Christopher Junior comes around this corner. Yes, he comes and
recognizes his mother and dead father. Yes, he while he
looks exactly like his father, right, And he recognizes them,

(37:15):
and he's so thrilled there's finally going to be a reunion.
All of this. He doesn't seem upset that he was
left to the pumpkin patch. He's just too excited to
see them, and they're excited to see him, also knowing,
holy shit, Okay, the pumpkin died. The pumpkin that we
decided we were going to raise instead of looking for
our son, the pumpkin that we decided we were going
to raise instead of looking for our son has now died.

(37:36):
Fuck that thing. Yeah, the real deal has finally real.
The prodigy son returned. Yes, and you lovingly because you're
so thrilled, call him towards you. Yeah, come to me, Son,
You get your butt right over here. And then in
crossing the street, he gets run over by a bus.
And it makes the day even worse because not only

(37:59):
did we lose was the pumpkin that we decided to
raise instead of looking for our kidnaps son. Yeah, we
also lost the son that returned to us. You've lost
both sons? Yes, Donald, can you remember you well? Daniel,
can you remember another fantasy that went on that long
in Scrub's history. I think that's the longest one. Yeah.

(38:21):
Maybe no, no, because I can't remember any of that
change location even dude. It goes from it's in the car.
It's not only in the car, it's at the pumpkin patch.
The shot it for a full day, full day of work.
I remember, I remember you. You never forget this ship.
You never forget when you're like wait, I didn't understand it.

(38:41):
I was like, let me get this straight. The pumpkin
is our kid and they were like yeah. I was like,
all right, whatever you say. I liked him in this
little uh graduation gown. Yeah, cut the fact that the
fucker graduated high school. What about when the picture hits
him in the in the helmet, in the head, and

(39:03):
you and Judy get all mad like and tell him
to rush the mount. That pumpkin is not gonna rush
the mount. Yeah, the pumpkin can't move. How did the
pumpkin get up to bat? I'm sure someone placed him there.
How did the pumpkin? How did the pumpkin get the
hat on and the bat and the tense like? How
did the pumpkin successfully attend high school? Let's let's let's

(39:24):
let's let me let me let's just say this. Let's
say the pumpkin does get a hit. Let's just let's
just say that this happens. How does the probably it'll
probably a bunt. How did the pumpkin get from first
base to from home plate to first base? Maybe they're
allowed to roll him like a bowling ball. There you go.

(39:44):
Maybe that maybe because he's special, they have an agreement
that they can roll him to first base. The pumpkin
graduated high school? How the fun did the pumpkin make
it through math? I don't know, but I just gotta
say this. This, I think in five years that we've
watched so far, is uh one of the most bizarre.
I know. We've got other one in Bizarre's other more

(40:05):
bizarre ones coming up, including when you're a goat turk.
Goat Turk's coming through. Not only goat turk, I'm fucking
don't I become a plant too. There's plant turk too. Yeah, yeah,
there's plant turks, plant turk. I don't know, I don't know.

(40:33):
I think I think they grew him from my missing nut.
Oh that's right. We plant your nuts. Yeah, that's right,
that's right. We plant your we we plant your your
removed testicle, and and it grows into plant turk. And
in one episode, don't I have a testicle that is uh,

(40:55):
that's warm, that's warm, that's like a radiator. And Robin
and Rob and I Rob you and and and Cox
and doctor Cox we gather around it for her camping.
He said that he doesn't have a nickname, and he says,

(41:17):
Jad says not everyone can just come up with the nickname.
He says, my last name is dude meister, and then
Cox says, you think the dude meister. You wait, you're
talking about the dude March. He's one of the best
in turns in here and you go, the name's too long.
It's never gonna stick. It's too long. Yeah. Amongst showing
Cabbage's mistakes, they do a little riff on the X

(41:39):
ray being backwards, which comes from our title sequence where
the where everyone in the medical community likes to tell
us that the X ray in the title sequence is backwards.
I like to believe. I know that we've had Bill
on here and we've asked him about it, and he
said it was an accident, but then it turned. But
then he said that they you know, it's always well,

(42:01):
I've always said purpose, I've I think it was not
on purpose, There's no way, but I think that I've
always said, well, I've rationalized it by saying, oh, that
makes sense because they're interns. They're fucking up. Also, it's scrubs,
it's a comedy, right, But this I thought it was
a clever comeback. When they were brainstorming for ideas for
Cabbage to have a fuck up, one of them involved
a lung X ray backwards. Right. Um, when we see

(42:25):
Rob his peep, you can see a bounce again. Um
in the locker room. I don't know if you notice,
it's not it's not held down, it's not it's not like, um,
what do you know when you have a pickup truck
and you sort of ratchet strap things to the bed. Yeah,
well Rob's cock needs ratchet straps because it's bouncing. Joel,

(42:49):
didn't you notice it bounces? It was definitely doing a
lot of work. Yeah, this is like, this is this
is what I but this is crazy man. On NBC
they allowed this. You wouldn't be able to see this
on ABC Man NBC they were like, it's bouncing in
it's bouncing in the banana hammock. So what we don't care.

(43:11):
I would have thought that they would have tied it
down to his leg or just really somehow braced it.
But in this scene where he's doing the rat tail. Yeah,
and I told you guys. I told you guys that
there's a picture out there of a Loma and fucking
Judy looking at that penis. I thought on Instagram that

(43:37):
wasn't even straight straight at ye listen, don't at me.
But fix You is one of the most beautiful songs ever.
Oh it's great. Oh, such a good song. I just
I just like how many I've heard Fix You an
infinite number of times, And I started playing in this

(43:57):
episode and I got goose bumps down all my legs.
It's just such a noble song, you know what I mean.
It's so noble. It's a it's a man realizing that
the love of his life is hurting so bad because
of her loss. Right, is that what it's about? It
that he wrote for Gwyneth Paltrow when her father died, right, Yes,

(44:19):
And he's trying to and he's like, I'll fix you,
knowing that he can't. The only thing that I'll try, Yeah,
the only thing that can fix her is time, you know. Yeah.
It's such a beautiful song. And I've seen a lot
of Coldplay concerts, and it's you know how bands rotate
all their songs. They always play fix You, and they
do it in the most amazing way. Because actually, if

(44:42):
you've never seen the video for fix You, go on
YouTube and check it out because it's really cool. It's
sort of shows you a little bit about what they
do in the show because the videos. As the song
starts slow, Chris Martin's alone and he's sort of walking
in through the streets and he's singing, you know, very simply.
And then as the as it builds and builds, he

(45:02):
starts sprinting right, and he sprints and then he sprints
into the arena and he runs out on stage to
like eighty thousand people just as the song kicks in
and Pyro goes off, and it's thrilling, And that's kind
of what happens in the show. Um So look up
the music video on YouTube. It's really really good. You know.
I would love to be a musician just to recreate

(45:25):
that for myself, Like I'd love to be a rock
star just for that alone. Oh my god, just in
this scene, you're gonna run in and everybody's gonna scream
for you, and you wrote the song. And that's what's
so crazy about it. In the in the in the
in the in the in the stadiums when he does it,
he'll there's like usually like you know how big bands
will have like a long runway, you know, down through

(45:46):
the stadium. He'll he'll be down at the end of
the runway, uh, you know, in the in the audience,
and then he runs runs, runs down and then leaps
up into the air. And then pyrotechniques go off and
the whole fucking eighty thousand people are singing a song.
I can't think of a higher I can't think of
a higher or high a human being could have. Right,

(46:07):
and it's not and and and and the kicker you
wrote it, and everyone is that that is an unbelievable
high man. It has to be. I remember I did.
I I walked out on stage and sang with Gloria
Estefan coming out of the Dark when I was in
high school and I was a part of a repertory company,

(46:28):
and she chose my repertory company to sing with her
at Madison Square Garden for three nights. So for three
nights I would walk out on stage during Coming out
of the Dark with Gloria Estefan. And when I tell you,
it's like you cannot imagine the feeling. And I'm in
the back, like we're background, since she's in front singing
a shit and we're background. I don't even think the

(46:48):
mic was turned on, you know what I mean. But
just the feeling of the crowd going nuts as you
walk out, even if they're not screaming for you, it
just felt so good, you know it feels so amazing. Like,
I know, Josh gets a rush when that happens to him.
I know something extra. I mean, we've been in plays
and stuff. But and that's obviously a small audience. But

(47:09):
I always think about like singers, particularly singers that write
their own music, like the idea of being up there
and then they hold the mic to the crowd and
like eighty thousand people sing their lyrics to them. Yeah,
I just think I can't imagine a higher high than that. No,
there is no such thing that it can't be. I
mean maybe maybe Jalio White's purple urkle diesel, whatever the

(47:30):
weed is that he has out. Have you tried Jalil
White's weed. He's supposed to come hook me up, man, Jalio,
where are you at? I don't know if Julia listens
to the show. Yeah he does. He said, we we
Delio hook hook hook us up. What's the waffle iron?
He got a waffle iron and everything? Bro, what's a
waffle iron? He got a waffle iron for the purple urkle,

(47:53):
so you can make waffles with the urkle face all right? Well,
more importantly, he has his own line of Ganja and
I think that, Jalil, if you do listen, I think
it would be nice if you brought some over to
Donald's house. Since you guys are friends and Joel lives
in the bye, you can dry and Daniel and Daniel
and Joel, they both they both got real close to

(48:14):
the camera, like dude, A ready, happily, all right, we
have a guest, right Joel, let's go to break. Let's
go right back, and we have a fun guest for
you to right back for you. And we're by, We're by,
We're back from break. Welcome back, and oh man, welcome

(48:39):
back from break. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back,
welcome back. When I want to rock, I really want
to rock and rocking because I'm meck in rock and
rock and to the party. I am to pisom to
wisdom to win on one number. Okay, ready, okay, let's
bring in guest. Let's let's bring in the guests. Games

(49:00):
hollow talks dudes, you know, like a bottle maybe talking
about the episode. So come on, let's get the show.
Give it up for April. Hi, guys, welcome to the program. Hi,

(49:26):
very nice to meet you. Where are you? Where are you?
All calling from April. Oh, we're from Portland, Oregon, Oregon
into Portlands, Donald Donald, do you know any restaurants in Portland?
Since you like to often reference restaurants in people's neighborhoods.
I don't know any restaurants in Portland, but I've never
been to Portland. That Voodoo Donuts come from Portland, isn't
that from Portland? It does. There's some other contenders. Blue

(49:50):
Stars are really good when Voodoo Nuts is where like
the tourists go. But there's a thousand good ones now,
all in that area too. It's it's like, don't hear them.
But Voodoo Donuts was the first, right, Voodoo Donuts the first.
I've never been to Portland. I don't know anything about
it other than what I've learned from watching Portlandia. There's
the Blazers. They have the Blazers shout out. The Blazers

(50:10):
shout out. They called, and they called the Blazers because
people like to blaze there. No, it's a trail. They're
they're the trail. They're the trail blazers, blazers. But yeah, yeah,
I just thought I think of my sweeping stereotypes that
they like Ganja and Oregon, so it might be um
the Blazers. They should change their their mascot to a

(50:32):
guy smoking a giant blunt. April, Are you a gamer, April?
Because you're in a gaming chair? I think that's her
boyfriend's gaming chair. Yeah, my boyfriend, he's a videographer, so
he was nice enough to let me use his set
up today. Oh okay, does your boyfriend also play video
games or is he just do video editing and stuff?

(50:54):
He also plays video games? Yeah, because that's that chairs, Daniel.
You know, doesn't that chair? Daniel? Do you when you
when you're on your pole on Twitch, do you use
a chair like that? I know I use the chair
that I'm sitting in right now. I got my Ham
and Mila. But why don't you get something like April's
in because that's what I associate gamers have. It's really comfortable,
it's hard to it's it's a little bit harder to

(51:15):
twerk in. And when you're naked. When you're naked, Daniel,
your butt cheeks might stick to that kind of chair.
I really need the air ration up in here. Yes,
yes do Wait wait a second, I wasn't aware of this, Danil.
You're naked during your last straight Yes, yes, of course.
Why do you think people are tuning in? Daniel? Honestly,

(51:40):
you honestly thought he was playing games with clothes on.
I'm late to I'm late to this. That's why people
tune in. He's got a hairy chest and he plays naked.
Got it right there. His his tag is gamer bear.

(52:01):
Nailed it all right? Sorry, Mikey and April m tell
us what why you're called in? And how did question? Well,
how do you two know each other? Yeah? What's the
connection is tied together? So? I was actually in a
high school math teacher at an all girls private school
see Mary's Academy here in downtown Portland. And I was

(52:22):
April's math teacher when she was a sophomore, right, April. Yeah,
And then and then it was actually one day in classes,
kind of randomly that she asked, oh, mister Benny, do
you like Scrubs? The TV show Scrubs? Like, oh yeah,
And then we just started talking because it's, you know,
like Scrubs and that I'm not sure if a lot
of your peers were watching Scrubs, you probably just kind

(52:43):
of assumed no, no, I mean, you were the first
person I really actually had a conversation with about the show,
and I think that that's kind of what cemented us
still talking to this day. Oh wow, how old are
you now at April? I will be twenty six in October. Okay,
so ten years ago. Ten years ago roughly, right, yep. Yeah,
and you guys and you formed a friendship over scrubs.

(53:07):
That's amazing, amazing, that's so cool. April's the kind of
person so it's like she's an amazing human being. But
like she also she kind of slow plays you a
little bit, right, Like she she can start out real quiet.
At least you did in the day. It might have
changed April, but like she started really quiet, and then
once we started talking about that, then it was like
kind of an opportunity to get to know her more.
And it's like, okay, well I want to learn more

(53:28):
about this person and all that sort of stuff too.
That's great. Was it was April a good student? Yeah?
I think so you were already weren't April? You were
also in we don't have to get too nerdy, but
like you were in the second year of algebra as
a sophomore, which is not right, that's right, but I
was not very good at math. I will say I'm
better at other things. Maybe she was taking algebra for

(53:49):
the second time, Mikey, you don't remember now she's prank,
she's it's like a skill, so you know she was
in the right place. Yes, I would say that she's
good at math. Mike. I never liked proofs. I thought
that was a waste of everybody's time. Yeah, I think
it's too early to introduce it at that age. I
know what they're going for. They're trying to get you

(54:11):
to use logic in a different way, right, But I
do agree, like it was the way I remember going
through it was painful. Do they still do that to
poor high school kids? I mean it's one thing for
like AP students, but why is like a like a
my school was level four, which like not AP but
right below Like why do I have to learn to
do that? So here's why I told all my students,

(54:31):
because you give in and everybody will tell you if
they hate math or they love it, especially the parents
just step yi. So what I tell them is like,
it's all just training you how to think. So math
is teaching how to practice logic versus you know, music
and arts and stuff. So I think that is the
intention behind learning proofs. It's like we're just trying to

(54:52):
build your logic in a different way. Oh that didn't work, Okay,
let's try it with a different way. I wish I
wish math would have been explained like that when I
was a kid, and that it was you know, I
try to explain to my kid now he plays soccer.
He doesn't necessarily want to be a soccer player. He
wants to play basketball. But I tell him the lessons

(55:14):
that he's learning in soccer will transcend into basketball later on. Right,
And if things are explained and so automatically, he's like, well,
I'm gonna trying to be the best soccer player I
can be because that is going to make me a
better basketball player. If things are explained to you like
that when you're a kid, at least I find when
there's a bigger picture involved instead of the right Now,

(55:36):
if a kid is really intuitive, they it's easier to
sign in. I'm not signing. It's easy to get it's
easier to get invested, you know what I mean. Like
I wish somebody would have said to me, this will
build your logic based skills. This will build those skills.

(55:57):
I wish somebody would have said that to me instead
of you're gonna need a so you can count fuck
what you act therefore by the transitive property of association.
And I was like, you guys gotta kidnapped. I'm not
going to need this. Come on, come on, teach me
how to change my oil. That'll be more useful. Right.
That was the way when people would always ask to

(56:17):
like mister bennybody would to use this. When are we
going to use this? And that was again It's like, no,
of course you're gonna be able to look it up
later and know you might not be able to do
this again. Focus on the big picture. We're building skills
like problem solving with the logic. Well, but I understand,
by the way, but but I do understand, like, okay,
so I think I took some logic classes in college
and stuff, but I do now understand why you might

(56:38):
want to introduce the idea of the transitive property. But
it just felt a little young for it. I mean,
unless you're like a super genius like maybe April was,
but I wasn't. Um. I also found it funny, like
when I went to take an SAT Prep course. They
were like, okay, I know how they touched you how
to multiplied fractions like this in school. That's not how
we do it. That's that's that's slow. Don't don't do

(57:00):
that anymore, do it like this? And I was like, well,
why didn't they teach me like the way that I
a lot of the stuff that I now and occasionally
I have to multiply a fraction or figure out a
fraction is like the thing I learned an SAT Prep
not what I learned in the public high school system
of New Jersey. But that's not your fault, Mike, I
don't blame you. And also he's an Oregon. He's an Oregon,

(57:21):
I know in a private school. I think probably, So
there's lots of different Yeah, I've since moved from teaching.
I now work in a different field, but oh what
do you do now? I work in the tech world.
This is also like I don't want to push the
gun here because, like you know, there's this whole life
advice piece I can ask you about late. Okay, so
you got let's go to normal order of things. Do
you guys either want to you have a question for us? Yes,

(57:43):
I do, really Holes. Cop is one of my favorite
movies mine too, and we referenced it too much on here,
too much. I don't complain, okay, but my question to
you guys is what is your favorite song off of
a soundtrack from Beverly Hills Cop. Neutron Dancer? I'm so happy?

(58:08):
Ann is it Neutron or New Town? I'm not sure
it's Neutron, don't even need my favorite. My favorite song
is Tonight Vanity. It's when, yeah, when Prince comes in.
That's that Prince music. Yeah Vanity, right, yeah, it's vanity.

(58:28):
But Prince wrote that song to night to meet you.
I think they got water on the brain. I think
they got more vanity. I think they got more water
upstairs than they got sugar on the candy cane. Oh
that shit fire baby to Night, that's your vanity. Oh,

(58:51):
man's your good question, April. You gotta singing the Beverly
Hills Cop soundtrack. He's like, hey, tagging, what is he saying?
What does he goes? He? Can you make sure that
I don't get club short because if I drink that,
I'm gonna throw up. He didn't make sure to park
this in a good place because all this shit happened

(59:12):
last time I parked? All right, next question, go ahead.
Another question that I had for you guys is I
know that you both have worked on like, quote unquote
kids songs like you know, Big Fat Liar, Chick a Little.
What was it like working on those sets and was

(59:34):
it different than other sets that you've been on. So
with Big Fat Liar, I got to work with Sean
Levy on his first project ever. He had directed maybe
a episode of What's the Action show? That the the
kid he was, he's going to be on the show
eventually as an intern, but he had a television show

(59:54):
back in the day where he was like an action hero.
And I think Sean Levy directed one episode of and
then he directed Big Fat Liar, and I just remember thinking, Wow,
this dude hasn't directed much and he's you know, this
movie seems like it's going to be so big. Sean
Levy's now grown to be has gone on to be
one of the biggest power players in Hollywood and director,

(01:00:16):
and he's a great director and producer actually, But in hindsight,
being twenty twenty, I just thought it was really I
think it's really cool now that I got to work
with somebody when they first started, and now they're like
one of the you know, they've gone on to create
some great things. I think she's asking, how how was
a set different when you're working on something that's for children. Oh,

(01:00:37):
it's not different. Kids curse just as much as adults do.
That's not true. Yeah, it is what you're talking about.
You're trying to tell me Frankie Munez don't curse. You're
trying to tell me a Manda Bindes didn't curse while
we was making that movie. Oh oh, I see you're saying,
in your instance, the kids had potty mouths. I mean,
not really, but I'm just saying kids. It's funny that

(01:00:58):
you say that because Chicken was animated, so we're just
you know, we're in a sound booth, so doesn't just recently,
I know, and the Six Degrees of Sean Leeby as
you started talking, Sean Levy directed the original or not
the original, the Steve Martin version of of Cheaper by
the Dozen and is the executive producer of the Cheaper
by the Dozen that I just did alongside Kenya Barris. Um.
What's the difference, Um? The kids have very limited hours

(01:01:21):
depending on how old they are. As you get older,
obviously they allow you to work longer, but very young
children have very limited hours, so that's always tricky trying
to get the scene that you need to get with
even less time than you normally have. People definitely watch
their cursing, although your human beings like parents in front
of children and you slip up and there's often a

(01:01:43):
swear jar it gets filled. Yeah, there is. I don't
know if there's any other real difference. Yeah, I think,
you know, I think you know. Those are those are
the main ones. I think the adults do their best
to not accidentally curse around the kids. And then that's
dealing with the kids hours. I think that's the only
thing I can think of. I like kids hours though. Man,
when you got kids on set, you know, okay, I'm

(01:02:05):
I'm eight hours whatever it is. Yeah, yeah, anyway, anyway, Also,
the kids have to go to school if you're during
the school years, so that's also tricky. In addition to
the limited hours, I think for three hours a day
they have to be in school, you know, they have
a tutor in the trailer or something, So that's really
tricky for them too, because obviously they have to be educated.

(01:02:29):
It kind of That's where it's really crazy too. They'll
come to work and then go to school for literally
thirty minutes in between setups and then come back to
set Yeah, they have to keep they have to bank
all the time, and you can't do it in too
shortened increments obviously, so they'll be like, Okay, I gotta
put them in school for a half hour or way
behind on school today. So right, have either of you

(01:02:51):
established sort of like a mentor ship relationship with any
of those kids over the course of years, everyone of
Zac's projects, he always has kids, and so I've seen
I've seen a lot of like I'm not going to
speak for him, but there are a lot of young
people in Zach's life that I would say he mentors. Well.

(01:03:11):
Joey King, you know, was was a bit of a
mentee to not mentee, but I felt like her uncle,
and you know, we did a bunch of products together.
I met her first on as the Great and Powerful
when she was China Doll and I was the monkey,
and then I just was blown away by her talent
and I cast her in Wish I was here, and
then again every you know, every year, the girl got older,

(01:03:33):
her acting was getting better and better and better. And
then when I made Going in Style, it was actually
written for a young boy. And I said to Ted Malfie,
who wrote it, you know, this young girl is so talented.
I think it'd be more interesting to see Michael Caine
interact with a teenage girl than a than a young boy.
You know, what's it like for a grandfather to try
and you know, be a part of a teenage girl's life.

(01:03:56):
And now she's taken off. In fact, I think Kissing
Booth the third the third movie of Kissing Booth, it
just came out and she's you know, she's gonna have
a huge career. She's in a new Brad Pitt movie
and she's she's on fire. It's crazy. We knew her
when she was twelve, when she was Yeah, when she
was in with the movie that the scene when Donald

(01:04:17):
in which I was here, Donald, you remember her? Yeah?
She was in Um do you guys remember in one
of the Batman movies when is it supposed to be
young Bane? You think it's a boy, but that was
Joey too. She's young tallya algol or something like that, right,
that is correct? And then there's another boy. There's a
young boy and cheaper by the dozen, who I took

(01:04:38):
under my wing a little bit. Actually these three met
him too, because I brought him to Disneyland with us.
So sweet, very sweet, young boy, very talented that I
took under my wing. And apparently he occasionally listens to
this podcast even though it's so inappropriate and he shouldn't
be so Leo, if you're listening, turn it off now.

(01:05:00):
I sound like those parents at the award shows. Go
to sleep, honey, go to sleep. All right, it's time
for Portland, Oregon's favorite segment. It's time too, pi Yo.
All right, go ahead, Mikey. Yeah. So, so I was

(01:05:23):
at a teacher for eight years and then I switched
careers in the tech because it's just it's all encompassing.
Like when I was working, I would have to work
several extra jobs to make ends me, couldn't afford to
have my wife on health insurance, and we wanted to
start a family in the future, like it's just insistance
an hours. So I was lucky enough to be able
to switch in the tech. So I'm now trying to

(01:05:43):
figure out like there's nothing and I've sort of accepted this.
There might be nothing I will ever do again that
is that meaningful, Like you go home and you feel
like good. So what should I look for? Like something that,
you know, tech brings me the ability to support my family.
I've got a toddler now upstairs, and but I'm looking

(01:06:05):
for someone that also brings that level of fulfillment that
teaching did back in the day. I got an idea,
go for your Zach, you know, when we were talking
about you as a math teacher earlier. I was also
something I didn't say, but was that I would occasionally
get really lost in math class and my parents would
hire a tutor. We were blessed that we had enough
money that they could hire a tutor. The tutor would

(01:06:27):
come over and I'd be so confused and like on
the verge of tears, And because it was one on
one and he was a brilliant teacher, like within thirty seconds,
he'd explain it to me and I'd be like, wow,
well we have the rest of the hour, what else
should we do? And he would just teach me more
stuff And it made such a difference. And I was
always acutely aware that that access to someone like that

(01:06:48):
was a function of my parents having money to afford
such a thing. So what's the first thing that came
in my brain is if there's a way for you
to volunteer your your genius and expertise for children, high
school kids who don't have the economic access to someone

(01:07:09):
like you who's cool and be friends students and can
talk at their level, and then also break it down,
break things down that are super complicated that they're not getting.
And I think the epiphanies you'd see in these kids'
brains that would never have access to one on one
like you would be very fulfilling. I'm getting lit up
just by thinking about it. I agree. I think I

(01:07:30):
don't know what you do in tech, but if there
was a way that you could. What are you do
in tech? Let me ask you that first. But right
now I test software. The goal was to be able
to move over to be a developer. But I've got
an extra spin that I could tell you about after that.
I like your idea. I think about well. I mean,
I was going to say, if you're in tech and
you're developing, why not develop some type of teaching software

(01:07:53):
where you can, you know, put something out there for
students like April was to learn how to do math,
you know what I mean? There are fun ways. That's
this game now my kid plays now called push the
Button and it's a math game on the phone. And
and you know, before you know it, he's multiplying by

(01:08:15):
nine and you know he's not even thinking about it,
you know. Um, and so, um, there's something, there's something
in that like I would I would look into, you know,
once you get into the developing side. When you do
get into that side, develop your passion. You said you
like teaching, develop that thing developed, right, if you wanted
to combine it with your with your knowledge of software development,

(01:08:38):
Donald's right, you could. You could use your skill set
as being a teacher for all those years clearly good
at it because um, you know your students like you
and um, you know, maybe you could develop some sort
of game that would that would help kids. You know.
One of the things that a lot of students don't
have when they get out of school is direction. And

(01:09:00):
you seem to have found another direction after teaching, you know,
and maybe your tea maybe you teach them how to
develop software. Maybe that's something you do. Maybe you teach
your old students that skill set. You know, I'm sure
not everyone. I'm sure not everyone is as put together
as April. I'm sure you have students out there right
now that they're like, I'm so confused at what I'm
gonna do you introduce them to your new world? You know,

(01:09:23):
I'm just thinking if you went to I know COVID
is tricky, so if it's maybe it has to be
zoomed if not in person, would have you but pretend
the apocalypse is over. If you went to guidance counselors
of some local public schools and said, hey, I used
to teach, I used to um, and I'm willing to
volunteer some of my time if you have students. I

(01:09:44):
don't want to deal with student I'm not trying to
force anyone to learn. If they don't want to learn,
then if you know, I'm not here to try and
force anyone. But if you have kids that really have
potential but need a little extra help, I'm willing to
volunteer and and help get them over some math humps.
I just that would be so incredibly rewarding for you.
You you would see the difference in a child that

(01:10:05):
would never parents can't afford to high a tutor, and
I just think that would if it was me and
I was a Matt teacher. I just think that would
light me up. That would like made me so high
on life. Nice. Yeah, I like that. Thank you that
those are all actually legit. Hey Mikey, Mikey, You're welcome.
You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome, You're welcome, You're welcome.

(01:10:29):
You guys were great guests, and um, I wish that
we could end the episode with Chris Martin's Fix You,
but we're not allowed to. They will suit a shit
out of us. No, I don't know. If they'd come,
it would be the last. It would be this would
be the last episode of Fake Doctors because we would
be now focused on I'm gonna since we're not how

(01:10:53):
to play it, and Donald mentioned that my voice is
fine as long as I'm not next to a professional.
I will sing it for will God you Home, Doom
and it night your Bone Doom Doom, and I will try.

(01:11:16):
All Right, you guys have an awesome guests. We'll see
you next time. Everybody, We love you, Donald Kunna sound
five six seven eyes about show we made about a
bunch of docs and nurses, and I said, he's the stories.
Never should so gather around you. Here are gado around you,

(01:11:39):
Here are spect for you while you mm hmmm