November 30, 2021 • 62 mins
On this week's episode, Carla is struggling with the limitation of being pregnant while JD feels stagnant at work. In the real world, we're struggling to remember what happened in the hospital.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, there he is. There, he is got a new
look happening, I do. Yeah, you shaved your head and
went full beard. Looks not a new look. It's not
a new look. It's I don't think the hair has
been as always tightly in a while. It's not cropped,
it's actually did you have a fade? No, what do
(00:23):
you call that? This is just a one to the
to the piece? Did you do your own one? I
did my own one to they didn't you have one
of those guys comes over. I always watched these Instagram
videos about African American haircuts because I find them so interesting.
It's like an art form. He takes and he cuts,
and he cuts, and he shapes and he didn't and
(00:44):
then this and then and some people are very much
into lines and shape ups. Yeah, you don't do that.
I don't. That's never been my style. Look at what's
in the background of Dan Dan. I'll bring that thing close.
Tell me you got a puppy. We did get a puppy.
And I'm trying to mute myself as much as possible
so that she doesn't provide any annoyance. But one can
(01:05):
you bring her close to the camera for the love
of yahweh home good? This is this is Kelly. It
looks like a walk Yeah. Does it celebrate the live? Ye?
(01:28):
There's usually people that know that I know the song.
You don't know the lie I know you don't know.
Celebrate the life? Yeah? No, Um, Daniel, did you choose
it because it looked like a baby e walk? Oh?
(01:50):
I would like to say yes, but really, Stephanie chose it? Joelle?
Have you seen the baby? Adorable? I want to bob SnO,
so cute. I'm just I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed in the name.
What little Kelly? Yeah? The name should I mean, I
get it. The name should be wicked or chief chub Chub.
(02:11):
I think it should be I think it should be
numb nubt. You know, Lord knows where I'll go from here.
Celebrate the life, ye, yub nub. It even has a
theme song. You're not going to celebrate the life of
yub Nub. It should be celebrate the live. I always
(02:32):
laughed at the fact that the Ewok song just there
just was no translation in language and the language in
the universe. Everything else was covered in ewakes, but not
celebrate the life and the universal language. Celebrate the life
translates or celebrate the life into universal language, whether it's ewokas,
(02:54):
whether it's uh, whether it's uh ten ten Dorian. Aren't
you impressed that I know even some of the lyrics
the E Walk song Ye Numb Chicken wine content. You
don't know any of ye numb Oh you know, celebrate
the live Yeah, no, ye numb, yep numbe. Look, I
(03:14):
know there's a word. I think there's something like halle
look the nah. It would be great, Joel, if you
could track down someone who is um. There's people on YouTube.
Let's bring one of those people on who knows the
whole dude? He plays it like on a mandolin. And
(03:35):
you guys, this podcast is so popular that I'm walking
around New York City with Bill and twice this happened.
I'm wearing a mask and he's not, and people go, Oh,
that's that dude from Fake Doctor's Your Friends. Wow, that's sick.
Bill Lawrence is getting recognized not for being an epic
(03:55):
Emmy winning showrunner, but for being on the Fake Doctor's
podcast Boom. You know, we do what we do for
our people, you know what I mean. We try to
help everybody out with their fame I'm just saying, like,
and then you're welcome, You're welcome, Bill. And then all
the time people are coming up to me and saying
how much they love the podcast, and it feels so great.
Thank you those who do that. It makes me so happy.
(04:18):
You know, I appreciate each and every one of them.
You know why, because they can put up with you me, Daniel,
I mean, anybody can put up with Joel. Joel is
like that. She's the best, truly the best one. Joe,
have you ever not cut along with someone you're so pleasurable?
I imagine you don't want to get on Joel's bad side.
I imagine whoever that person was, like, get me angry.
(04:43):
It takes so much, but people have achieved it. People
have achieved I feel, I feel, I feel like when
it gets to that level, though Joel's like, oh you've
done fucked up, no kind of over and for life,
after gates are closed, I don't want to speak or
(05:04):
because after we've tried everything. At that point, I've laid
down some rules of giving you some time to work
and like achieve, like getting better at you know, my
boundaries and my boundaries time for everybody. Some people you know,
I know what. That's fine. Are we giving them a card? No?
Not today Thursday. Have you ever had hands on someone, Joel? No?
(05:24):
Why would I fight? That's I don't understand. L Have
you sorry? Go ahead, go ahead, I'm sorry, you got
I'm done, Daniel. Have you ever had to put hands
on someone? The only so the short answer no, The
very slightly longer answer is the only time that I've
ever punched anyone was in eighth grade when someone put
(05:45):
my hat in a vending machine and I punched him
in the stomach. Have you ever laid hands on Yeah?
In defense. I didn't start it, but I fought back, Joel,
I hear you, man. I hate when people trying to
start shit, and that why why am I gonna mess
up my beautiful face for like? Tell of her like?
(06:05):
You gotta step to do. We gotta teach them a lesson.
You gotta listen. I don't need to stay out of
your way and you need to stay out of mine.
And it's sign I have a large friendship circle. They
will protect me emotionally, physically, spiritually if necessary. I'm just
not gonna do it. I don't need in life. I
was prepared to once though, when an old man was
trying to come onto a twelve year old in a Starbucks,
(06:27):
I had to, like it, cans out his pants. I
had to like absolutely step in front of the two
of them. Nobody was doing anything. He's been very loud
and obvious about it. She's terrified. I was like, bro,
you gotta get out of here. I was just talking
to her, like, you don't need to talk to her.
She's alone in a Starbucks. She's if she's not fourteen,
like that's the max age she could be this. That
(06:47):
was ready that day, but it didn't come to it.
Good good, thank god. So I went to Governor's Ball
and saw Charlotte Lawrence perform. Was very exciting and it
was so cool because I had experience of not only
seeing Charlotte, who've known this little kid performing at this
giant festival, but standing next to her father, who you know.
There's a Yiddish expression called kvelling, and it means my
(07:11):
father used to always say it it's when you're when
you're just hard, is so full of pride and you're
just beaming at at your child often and he was
kvelling watching his daughter just rule the stage and she
was so funny. She had a couple of fuck ups
she did the funniest, but she like made a joke
out of it. She had one big funny joke that
got a laugh and Bill goes, I wrote that. And
(07:32):
then and then she's jamming on the guitar. She has
this moment where she goes and picks up the guitar
and she goes over to her guitars and they're like
jamming together like people do on stage. And then you
see her talking to him and they both start laughing,
and she goes over to the guitar plug and picks
it up. The guitar wasn't plugged in for the moment
(07:52):
that they were jamming together, and she makes this face
like like but like like she My point is she
knew even through fuck ups to like to like how
to make a joke outut of me, you know, in
front of so many people. That's amazing her parents, kid man,
that's awesome. She sounded great. And uh, and then I
went and saw we went. We had some time to kill,
(08:13):
so we thought, I want to see Phoebe Bridgers, who
was going to be on the same stage, but Meg
the Stallion was on another stage. And no, you're not
gonna believe this. Bill Lawrence and I went to Mega
Stallion and I wish you could see I wish you
could have seen a camera on me and Bill watching
(08:33):
Mega Stallion and her dancers dance very very, very provocatively.
I sent Donald, I sent Donald over the video. But
I only know Mega Stallion from the wop video. I
don't really know her music. Um, you don't know Savage anyway,
(08:54):
It's it's a lot like a strip pole show with
me with music. There's a lot of naughty, naughty twerking Donald.
It's great. I love that. That's great. I know, I'm
just saying I totally appreciate the fact that you two, Witten,
you know, got a little bit of culture. We did.
We got some culture. I had two We did two
(09:15):
songs worth of tworking and um and then and then
and then we left. Where were the two songs, I
don't know, but there was heavy tworking involved in both
of them. Um. But then we watched Phoebe Bridgers, which
was a little bit more our speed. UM. But no,
(09:40):
that was it. That was cool that Phoebe Bridgers sing.
You know, it's singer songwriter. You'd probably find it boring. No.
I like singer songwriters. You know it's it's a girl
singing sad songs with her guitar. You know who. I like.
She's got beautiful poetry. But the young lady I like
(10:02):
is uh, what's her name? Follow your arrow wherever it points?
Country singer, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys,
or kiss lots of girls if that's what. Yeah, Kasey Musgraves, Yes,
(10:24):
straight and narrow gets a little too straight. Roll up
a joint. That shit is fire. Follow your ever wherever
it points. Don't follow your arrow wherever um. Did you
watch Amanda Clutes on Dancing with the Stars crushed? Now?
(10:47):
I don't know anything about this scoring, but giving her
sevens for that was fucking bullshit. I think there must
be one of these things where like they don't want
to get your ego too high week one. Also, that
basketball player. Did you watch him? He was incredible and
he got low scores too, Do you guys watch I
did watch it. I'm not a big fan of people
judging how other people dance. I think that's kind of
(11:11):
you know whatever. Okay, but didn't you think his scores
were too low? He was incredible. Yeah, of course they
of course I do. But you know, hey, whatever, that's
that's the way it goes. Anyway, everybody listening, I can't,
I can't, you know. Yeah. If anything, if anything, what
I took away from the whole show was vote Amanda Clutes. Y'all,
if you're listening to this and she's still on when
(11:33):
this comes out, yeah, please vote Amanda clut Vote Amanda Clutes.
Her dance was amazing and I'm gonna watch tonight. I'm
excited too, Yeah, don't I like to. I was lying,
it's well, you know what, you know what you know,
who should have been on the show? Not Iman shumperd
who's the basketball you're player? You're talking about his wife,
(11:54):
Tianna Taylor. Oh hey, oh professional dancer though a man. Well,
I just want to give Clutes one fair thing, Okay,
of course, it's so so Spice, the Spice girl. So's
the freaking gymnastics So it's Joe Joe what's her name? Yeah,
all of that stuff is all of those cats have
(12:15):
taken dances, and Cody was a backup dancer apparently. But anyway,
Cody's not on right now because I know, did you
hear what happened. Yeah, man, Cody's partner. Cody's partner got COVID,
so we can't perform this week. Oh it's bullshit. They
should have given him some other pro to come in,
and I'm sure the pro could have picked it up
(12:37):
in a half a day or probably ten minutes and
dance with him. Don't you think that would have been
better what it was the day before? It's literally literally
I dud I know why not? Why not? If I
was a producer of the show, I would have said, everyone,
this is a stand in, so you got to treat
his points and everything be gentle. But he'll be dancing
(12:59):
with s fed Lana. Everybody he sped Lana sped. Lana
could learn the routine and a half a day, she's
my stand in professional dancer. I thought you actually knew, no,
But they often have like Eastern European names. Lana sounded right.
I did not doubt it. That's I don't know why
(13:19):
they didn't do that, like bring in a ringer. I
don't know, an understudy, if you will donald to use
a theater term, yeah, a backup dancer. Well, just I
just feel bad for Cody. Yeah, but anyway, Amanda's Amanda.
Amanda cludes, I don't know how long. When when does
(13:40):
this air? This one? Duell, do you have any idea?
We are so far ahead right now, air like mid November?
All right, should we get into the show. We should
totally give to the show. Let's do it stories about
show we made n story yea. This episode has so
(14:16):
many things packed into with Donald. I mean sometimes you
get an episode all old jokes. Every joke in this
they're not all old. Not a joke in this is
old jokes, except for the Turk and Carlos storyline and
the stuff that goes on with car there's some random
ass ship. First of all, the riddle's not old. The
hair met's not old. The riddle is old. The riddle
(14:38):
we did this one already. The riddle is old. This
is That's why it's called my deja vu, My deja vu.
We did this. Everything in this is all re used jokes.
All of the Joe the riddle has already been on
Yes no Joel, yes, yes, yeah. That's why at the
end you say, oh, that's what happened to my bike,
(14:58):
because he destroyed your bike. Glass Sunny wrote it. The
hair met all of the stuff. The whole show is
all jokes from Scrubs past. Oh so that's like, that's
so lame. It's like a it's like, what did they
call a clip show? It's not a clip show. We
actually act out all of the old jokes. Though. Did
(15:19):
you watch the show? I watched it, but I didn't.
I'm sorry that my memory I went. I honestly went, oh,
this is the moment the riddle, Oh, this is the
moment hairmett. I didn't know that that they're they're rehaction.
This is all react but so lame. Why did they
do that? I don't know. I mean, I guess I
wanted to prove you could tell the same. It's all
(15:40):
still funny, like all of the time, jokes, all of
the time from the right. You didn't laugh at innuendo. Again,
I laughed at every single one of them. But I'm
sorry that my brain can't even tell you that I
was under the impression and I was hearing these for
the first time. There was a whole floating head doctor,
a renewed whole floating head dot, but that was a
(16:00):
new floating head that wasn't new floating head doctor. Short, Yes, yeah,
that stunt lady took some nice hits to the head.
To the head, all right. So Cox returns from his hiatus,
trying to drink himself to death, as he put it,
and I get him a big hug. It's set on scrubs,
(16:21):
will keep. This is the second time we ever hug,
right though, I don't think so. And I say, you
sent those demons right back to hell, didn't you. I
was out of my mind in this episode, dude. This
whole episode is out of its mind. Dude, I know,
but I was extra effeminate and extra silly, and I
(16:43):
enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong, but I was like
on below or something. I mean, not in real life.
The character was extra hyper. Yeah, well we should also
talk about First of all, we should talk about these
are the these are the things in the show that
weren't deja vu, Ernie the homeless man. Okay, welcome back Cox, sir,
(17:03):
Welcome back cos Heir. Now, how hard did you laugh
when I'm going off on my run? Oh? Dude, who
I thought they need us? That was a run I
was gonna do. But I guess it's a little now.
That ship was hilarious. And also I remember us shooting.
This is the only part of the episode that I
remember us shooting. Everything else I don't remember. But who
(17:25):
I thought they need you? That was a run that
I was going to do. And when I'm like, well
them names, then the names and I wish I still
had a welcome back Cox or T shirt. Those were nice. Yeah, Yeah,
that was a run that I was gonna do. But
(17:46):
now it's awkward. Now I don't know thought they need you?
Why am I riding? Why am I riding Sasha through
a ring of fire? Can you explain that to me?
Because this is what you do. You get it. It's
a routine of yours that has developed to run an
errand so I grab an apple, you get as always,
(18:07):
you get a lunch. My lunch was the apple off
an apple tree. And then I did something else and
then I rode through a ring of fire, which didn't
there's a callback later on. Yeah, but you just run
through the ring of fire. Yeah, Turk jumps through it.
That was your stunt double though. Yeah, Like this episode
was nuts, man. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember
some of this shit, like some of the things that
(18:27):
like Turk gets to watch Sanford and Sun while because
Carlo's reading her book and so all of the great
things that happened to him. The one we really fucked
it up was like he offers her a burrito, he
has two, he offers her one and she says no.
He puts the burrito off screen and does a little
hand movement. Yeah. Yeah, it's one gigantic but so stupid.
(18:49):
I wish I had that ability. I wish I had
that ability. Do you ever watch the guys who are
who roll the burritos when you were like one of
those places, you know whatever, it's Chipotle or something better,
and you're like, they're never gonna be able to roll
this one too thick, it's too thick, but they always do.
They always it in burrito employees are good baby swaddlers,
(19:13):
probably probably because that's what you're pretty much doing. You know,
when I learned on the interwebs, do you know who
wrote the Sandford and Sun theme song goal? If you
say Alan Thick, no, Quincy Quincy Jones, Quincy Jones, Quincy.
That was oneb We licensed that Shiit like every other
(19:38):
week we're paying Quincy money he doesn't need. I met
jj Abrams daughter. I was trying to angle for a
part for you because she's one of Charlotte's best friends
and and um, and she's very nice. She's a singer too.
And but I'm staring, and I'm going, how can I
(20:00):
get Donald a job through JJ? I know JJ. I
did Pelicity with j J. I know, but I was
I thought if I thought J Jay wants to use me,
he knows how to. I just thought if the daughter
came home and said, Dad, you know he's so funny
Donald phase On, he might be like, yes, I worked
with Donald back before I was a mega, mega director,
(20:20):
that would help a lot. Actually, I was trying for
you that that that always helps. I guess when the
kids come home and say, Dad, you know what? Yeah?
This Dudelson ended up in Rihanna's music video Bitch Better
Have My Money. His kids were like, you can't pass
up an opportunity to work with Rihanna. He was like,
I don't know who that is, and they were like,
(20:41):
please work with Rihanna. Mad Michon kids get a lot
of stuff done to You guys got to watch listeners.
Did I mention The Hunt already? You guys gotta watch
this movie with Mad Michilson called the hunt is wild.
It is. It is dark as fuck. You cannot be
someone who doesn't. And I don't mean thriller horror dark.
(21:02):
I mean emotionally dark, like you're gonna be in the
fetal position when it's over, but it might. Let's take
a break. We'll be right back after these fine words.
We really did the riddle before I could have sworn
this was that you are a fucking Okay, so Cox doesn't.
(21:26):
Um he's afraid to diagnose missus Goldstein. He's lost his mojo, right,
he well, he he we assumed that he has. Well,
he reveals in the end at the end, right, he
comes clean in the end. But but that's because Elliott
kind of forces him. Now. I never I never looked
at their relationship as a problem to relationship. I thought
(21:48):
they had their disagreements and everything like that. But today
it really this episode, he says, to who I wrote
it down. Um, Cox says Elliott is not his favorite.
Yeah to her face. Yeah, and she and he says,
and I bet you can agree. I can. I'm sure
you agree with what I'm saying. And you feel the
(22:11):
same way about me, you know, Yeah, But I never
knew that. I never digested that they had a relationship
like that. But yeah, he was always tough on her.
He fucks with her a lot. Yeah, but I thought
it was out of love. It turns out it's not.
It's out of the fact that he just doesn't like her.
You know, he respects. At the end, he shows that
he respects her. I wonder why he doesn't like her.
(22:32):
M I don't know. The Johnny tattooed on Kelsel's butt
has been said before. Yes, he was an old navy buddy,
and if you knew what we went through, you'd understand. Yes,
damn it. I laughed at that. I feel stupid now.
I laughed at the jokes at the same time. You
know what joke had me? Okay, so this joke had
me rolling. Okay, She'll have a ginger rail, he'll have
(22:53):
a beer, and I'll have an Apple teeny. You know,
what the hell with it. I'm gonna have a real drink.
Make that a nectary. Kevin goes, I don't know what
that is. J D goes, Oh, come on, Kevin, you know,
make it, make it. And then it comes and I
go dynamite Nectarini. That man knows his way around my nectar.
(23:22):
I was like Sean Hayes in this episode, Dude, this
episode is like, well, that joke is first of all,
where's the punchline in the joke other than the nectar?
You know what I mean. It's just the word nectar
is funny, that's all. But even before that though, Oh,
come on, Kevin, you know make it. That's the punchline
of that part of the joke. Come on, Kevin, you
know this. Don't act like a nectarini. I don't know,
(23:49):
I don't know. Don't drink, Joel. What's in a nectarini?
I've never heard of it, but I'll look it up
right now. How about when I passed the basketball to
Leonard and he catches it with his hook hand and
pops it. No ball in the hall. That's a freaking
actual that's also a deja vu moment. And now, um,
two things I say, don't worry about the ball. They
(24:12):
come three to a can tennis. Yes. And then you
notice that Leonard has to duck for his effort to
get underneath the doorway. Poor Leonard, I mean, he's a
security yard. He's pacing around the hospital and every doorway
he has to duck because of that hairstyle. Yeah, hilarious.
(24:35):
What is he pacing like? He didn't have a station.
He didn't have a station. He's like he's he's um.
Leonard's the type of security yard that has to has
to walk the halls and uh and see if there's
any trouble. Is it like a century yes, yes, yes,
well here we go. Prosecco. It's a prosecco cocktail made
with fresh nectarines, um nectarines and chill prosecco. It's kind
(25:02):
of like it's kind of like a mimosa but instead
of orange juice. Come on, Kevin, you know, you know,
make it um. Now, we learned that Troy went to
Yale um with chest This is all deja vu, dude,
(25:22):
Troy going to Yale deja vu? But okay, annal Jesu
I remembered was deja vu? Yes, um that I learned
it from watching you made me laugh so hard, My god.
That those of you who don't know, there used to
be a public service announcement about drugs, right and do
(25:43):
you remember that Donald? And there was what was the
drug that the parents were doing with the weed? Yeah,
so the whole idea for the PSA, this is when
Donal and I were growing up, and it was definitely
at least in the Tri State area, and and the
and the parents were like where did you how do
who taught you how to do this? He found like
the kids weed? And the kid was like, I learned
from watching you, okay, from watching you? Yeah, And it
(26:07):
was like I was supposed to be a PSA to parents, like,
you know, don't smoke weed and your kids, right, they're
gonna smoke just like you. Yeah, I'm sure you can
find it on YouTube. Learned from watching you. But even
even the monologue when Cock when you walk into the
hospital in the beginning of the show and he does
the monologue, the rhythm of it and you stepping in
(26:29):
in between it and for the punchline and then him
going back into nevertheless and whatever it is. You know
what I mean? That all deja vu, like all of it,
like this whole I think we need to have an
ask Bill here. I know it's hard to track him
down now that he's an Emmy winner, but um, Bill time, Bill,
now we know your big time and you're an Emmy
(26:49):
winner now and probably won't return our call, But why
why did you do this episode? And just repeat all
these jokes. Was the writer's room so backed up that
your idea was, what if we did a deja vu
episode and repeated all of our greatest hit jokes. Well,
it's not even the greatest hit jokes though, let's keep
it on. There's some there's some pretty darn good ones,
(27:10):
some great ones actually, but some of them are ones
that people missed before. So it's like, you know, let's like,
obviously you didn't recognize it because you forgot about You
thought this was all the first time these jokes came through.
All right, Well, Bill, what was the reason behind repeating
all these jokes in my deja Vu? Ask Bill? Okay, um,
(27:30):
you guys should ask Bill, Hey, Bill, how you feeling? Man?
How you doing you lonely? Because if you did ask
Bill that the answer would be, no, I'm good. Anyways, Yeah,
my deja vu. Here's the scope. It's really hard to
come up with all the stories we came up with
(27:52):
on Scrubs because one of the things all these physicians
and we tried to be realistic, you know, as a
medical show, and one of the things all the positions
that we interviewed would often say is the amazing thing
is that you kind of sometimes see the same things
over and over and over and over, and then we
kind of got obsessed with you know, maybe we could
(28:13):
do the same medical stories with two patients, you know,
or with a patient and in the hospital, but with
different endings because sometimes people come in and it goes differently, right,
And also we were way behind, and so this felt
like a great idea to do an episode quick because
if it's called made my deja vu, deja vu, we
(28:33):
all tell stories twice, we all tell jokes twice. And
the laziest thing we did in this episode but was
we did the janitor ce story the riddle line for
line except for one change, line for line and shot
for shot. Do you know what the one changes? We
should ask Bill? Ask Bill? Hey? You know you guys
(28:58):
should ask Bill, and you ask Bill sometimes is you
should ask Bill how he's feeling? And you know, hey, Bill,
when we ask Bill, how are you doing? You know
what that Bill would say that Bill would say, you know,
I hide it, but sometimes I'm not so great, so
I don't know. Anyways. The one difference, no difference in
(29:20):
the longest Asked Bill ever, The one difference was the
janitor changed where he went to college. The first time
we did it, I think he said he went to Harvard,
and the second time he said he went to Yale.
There's your trivia answer. Peace out. How are you guys doing?
See you? Thank you Bill. Carla says, if she can't
(29:40):
do things, turk can't do that. Now did this happen
to you? Do this a thing that really happens to come?
Sure it does. I'm sure it does. My wife didn't
do that to me when my wife was pregnant with
our kids. Dude, I got to get it fucked up.
Like that was the best part about it. Like, I
was like, I'm gonna party to night. We're going out tonight.
We're gonna go eat sushi. She's like she had you
had a built in designated driver. Yeah. I was like,
(30:02):
we're going to get sushi. She's like, I can't eat sushi.
I was like, you could eat the hot plates, and
she was like, you're right, I can't eat the hot plates.
I do like the hot plates. And we'd go and
we'd eat sushi and I fucking get bombed on sake,
and she'd now, I have a question. See couples deal
with this differently. And you're our only father. So I
guess listeners will be answering to their phones. But I
(30:26):
hear that like some some couples do this, So like, no, no,
you have to do it with me. You can't drink,
you can't you anything selfish, that's bullshit, that's bullshit. What
about in the middle of the night when the mom
has to get up to breastfeed, and that's women. Some
women make the father get up too to sit with her.
That's that's cool, that's to be. I don't know about
get up and sit with them, but I do believe
(30:48):
that the if you have bottles and stuff like that,
and you're doing it that way, the right. But what
about in the scenario world the baby just needs to
breastfeed if you make me because the father expected to
just get up, and that's not a selfish man? Joel,
do you do you do you any knowledge of this
that self? Uh? Yeah, because my dad was the only
(31:09):
one who gave me to go back to sleep, so
he was up. I'm almost like, she doesn't go to
sleep with me, so you have to be up. Story,
that's a different story. But I would think if if
I totally totally, I would think that in my in
my non child having had some mothers, feel free to
correct me, but like, wouldn't I want my partner to
be asleep so that later I could be asleep and
they could be up. I feel like we had to
(31:30):
tag team this child anyway, So I don't know us
both being equally as exhausted Amanda, Amanda and Nick. I
think it did a version of that. We're like Amanda
would just let Nick's sleep and while she would breastfeed,
and then in the morning she'd be like, you're taking
the baby on a long ass walk and I'm gonna sleep. Yeah,
and had a little situation like that, Yeah, that's that's
the right way to do it. Yeah, especially okay, so actually,
(31:52):
more than anything, communication is the right way to do it.
If you guys can come up with a plan, it works.
The fact that Carla just springs this on turk, like, no,
this is the way gonna be a beard out of
your hand. Yeah. Yeah, that was funny though. But that's
why I do that with my kids now. When my
kid will be like, I'm drinking it, and I'd be like,
you better not drink it, you better put that back
in the fridge, and he goes, I'm gonna open it,
(32:14):
and he'll open up, but you better not sip it then,
and he'll sip that ship and then it'll be and
that's when hell breaks loose. Well yeah, and then and
then he sits there and then he'll stand there like,
I can't believe you just hit that out of my hand.
What will it be? Something with caffeine or something no,
like you know, so I made the mistake. Oh God,
(32:35):
these are the mistakes you make in life. I let them.
I let them taste sprite, and I let them taste
Canada dry ginger. He probably, yeah, but the sugar free
version is just as bad as the as the sugar version.
Regardless of what is in it. It is not necessarily
(32:58):
a good thing for them to drink. But I made
the mistake one time. I'm saying, you want to like
me being I was literally I could feel the devil
coming out of my skin. You want to try this,
little boy, You want to try this little girl, knowing
that the minute they tasted it, it would be like
I must have this forever and ever and ever. Why
don't you just not have it in the house. We
(33:20):
don't have it in the house. But anyway. So but
when it is in the house, he'll be like an
ask from Gingerrell. I'll be like no, and it'd be like, look,
my kid is the king of manipulation. He's like, I'm
just trying to have a conversation with you, dad, Like
we had the conversation. I said no. He's like, that's
not a conversation, that's you telling me no. That's all
that is. We're not talking about anything. You haven't even
(33:41):
heard what I'm asking for. Oh my god, this is
this is my son from I have no clue. I
have no clue. I think kids are good at just
they know their parents are tired, right, and they just
know like if they keep it going, the parents just exhausted.
They're like, I can't up. Its fine, that's what that's what.
(34:05):
Don't you think kids play on that. They know that
you're just always tired, so you're just gonna be like, oh, fine,
have it. He's a little ass sometimes so like he's
a dummy sometimes like one time he did that, he right,
and as he's walking away with the prize, he goes
and that's what I and that's how it's done. I
knew if I just pressured her. He walks by and
(34:28):
walks off the room right with whatever the whatever, whatever
it was, maybe whether it's a donut, soft drink, or
whatever the fuck it is. He's now exited and is
about to go and do what it is that he
wanted to do. And he lets out what the plan was,
and me and my wife both look at each other, like,
what the fuck this motherfucker did? Did what? He's running
(34:53):
that house over there, future ceo over here understands yeah,
and it's it's he just gets the art of you
say no, and he finds a way to make it
so that no was the wrong answer, you know. I
mean it's like no, I said no, You're not even
having a conversation. I did have the conversation with you.
(35:14):
I said no, no, No, that's not even where we're
at yet. I haven't even explained to you the scenario. Well,
what it is I'm trying to do. What I'm trying
to say is rock. Oh I said no, and now
you're interrupting me. Oh, I wish you'd just let me finish.
I'm not having kids. Don't do it. If I would
not survive the eighties. We need someone on this podcast.
(35:36):
Who's who promotes how great having kids is because this
podcast is making me not need them. You know, I'll
tell you this right now, but they sound exhausted. But
then this weekend, I freak it. You know it's it's true.
But then this weekend we went out and watched him
play a soccer game against a bunch of other kids,
(35:56):
and they all like his team that the team that
they were playing against was obviously better than them, was
better passing, all of that stuff. But his team won
by one point. It was a penalty kick and Rocco
kicked the penalty kick into the goal, you know what
I mean. And it was one nothing. And it was
a hard fought game. And there, you know, the our
(36:20):
goalkeeper he blocked like hundred and not hundreds, but like
at least ten shots directly at him. It was just
an amazing game. One nothing. Go congratulations team. Um, I
laughed at when you when I when I get your coffee,
I go, please have some sort of nut nut and
it's hazel its I only like one type of nut
(36:45):
milk in my coffee, almond. That's it. No, I think
I was talking about the coffee blend itself. It was
hazel nut coffee do you like hazel nut? I do. UM.
I only like um oat milk. In terms of milk,
you don't like almond w um because I like the
taste of oats and I think it makes a nice flavor.
(37:08):
A lot of people are a lot of people are
allergic to oats. Oh really, yeah, I don't um, I
don't um. I don't have real milk in my coffee anymore. Um,
liberry library, strawberry, strawberry. These are all old jokes. Yes,
I feel so, I feel so. I will say this.
(37:29):
What's the words Neil's response. Neil's response to each one
of Troy's uh buttons is different. Okay, that's not deja vu.
Neil's not saying the same joke with him, but the
whole thing with the coin. We just watched that earlier. Okay, Well, um,
(37:50):
let's talk about how floating head doctor and and and
how body kills Elliott. Yes, and then floating head doctor
and body fight a fight. Yes, and we should say
by Linda Mendoza, our director of the week, deja vu,
deja vu? Written by who though Schwartz, I believe Mike Schwartz.
(38:14):
Let me double check my notes. Yes, Mike Schwartz and
Linda Mendoza. Um, we're gonna get a break and we'll
be right back after this, and we're bad. Um, I
(38:35):
wonder what is this the Christmas episode? Are we near
the Christmas episode for Fake Doctor's real friends? Is this
around the holidays yet? Are we near? Well? I want
to say that Cox finally comes around and has a
very heartfelt conversation with Elliott, and Um, I thought that
was well done. And he's so mean to her. I
(38:57):
think she said, you've never shown me an ounce of respect.
And then he confesses to her that he was indeed
petrified to make a decision on his patient's healthcare and
he didn't want anyone to know. And he said, I
hope that in telling you this, you see that I
do indeed respect you. Yes, that was well acted by them,
(39:22):
both both of them. Yeah. Well this episode, everyone else
is in peripheral. These two are actually center stage telling
a story. And it's a great it's a great it's
a great fake out too, you know, like you honestly
believe that Cox is back and he's fine, but in
all honesty, he's still it's still in him and he
(39:44):
still feels you know, he still feels the guilt. I'm
sure that happens to to real doctors when they make
a call that was wrong. I could imagine they get
in their head and and and second guests themselves. But
good doctor as well. If you're a good doctor, you
(40:04):
push forward, keep it moving. The World Spins madly On
by the Wheepies is a beautiful song. The show ends too.
The Wheepies is a great band. If you don't know,
I'm gonna say, who are the Whepies? Tell us about
the Wheepies. Well, um, they're a couple, and um they
just have a lot of beautiful music. Put them into
your Spotify and I guarantee you you will enjoy a
(40:25):
lot of their music. It's very like Chill Laurel Canyon vibes,
couple harmonies. The World Spins madly on. Troy might have
killed somebody in confusion, Like it's a possibility, Like somebody
confused him so much that he was like kill him Troy.
Troy seems to not get that the janner doesn't really
(40:48):
want me dead. He likes to torture me and he
likes to ruin my life. But Troy keeps having to
be told that no, we're not we're not going to
kill j D. But he's and he's so eager to
do it, right. I just feel like, what would happen
if Troy was off? Yeah, it's like, you know, I
(41:08):
used to this cat, and the cat would be out
all night. It was an outdoor cat, and we came
in and out. But when it was out at night,
it would leave offerings of the animals it caught on
the back deck. It would leave a little rat, it
would leave a little bird. And and that's kind of
what the that's what what what cats do for? Who
(41:30):
they perceived to be the leader of the pack. They
ca yeah, it was our family cat, but in terms
of the cat mentality, they want to leave offerings to
the leader of the pack. And look what I caught
for for for you, great leader. Here's my contribution right
here is what I did last night. And I thought,
(41:50):
what if Troy Um did that for Neil and killed
me and left me on the left me on the
janitor's back porch. O God, that would have been a
good fantasy. I'm no Superman. Man finale over done. I'm
(42:16):
no Superman. And it turns out I was not a
Superman because I'm dead I'm no Superman. Donk serious finale
tonight a very special episode of Scrubs. It's the serious finale.
(42:40):
See my neat tattoo though, I show you guys. Skull
that's so cool. I really like it. Why do'd you
get a skull? I got a skull because I guess
I got a skull because I just like skull. Okay,
(43:01):
I understand, it's just I mean, it's a skull, I know,
but I like it's not a scary skull. That's a skull.
It was just cute skull. All right, Joel, let's bring
the collar, and we got a collar. You can talk
some you know, like a bottle maybe talking about the episode.
(43:26):
So come on, let's ladies and gentlemen give me. I'm
for my shit. Schell, I know that face. Are you
(43:47):
still married? The question is are you still married? Oh? Goodness?
Is that Michelle? Oh, Joel, Christmas has come early? Yes, Michelle,
I'm worried that you're sitting alone. Is that a bad sign?
It is not. My husband had to go on a
(44:07):
business trip. We are still married, a business trips trip.
Let's remind our listeners who have missed the episode. Michelle,
please interrupt me if I if I summarize this in
any incorrect way. Michelle went to her husband and said
(44:28):
that she would like to have sex with his best
friend and his her husband said okay. He didn't say okay,
he was like yes, yeah, and he was not allowed
to be there. They would go off and do it
at the friend's house and um, and they do it
(44:49):
um monthly, Mitchelle, every other week every other week. Oh sorry,
by monthly yes, and uh. And the friend still hangs
out with the with the them at their house. They're
all tight and um. And at last, at last check in,
the husband had not yet been given an opportunity to
have the same sort of situation on her side of things.
(45:12):
So Michelle did say it was all good if he
did want to do it. They just had to find
the right person, right, Michelle, What is going on in
this in this wacky family? Well, I am sorry to
tell you that it is not very much of an update.
Everything is still good. Um. He has not done anything,
(45:32):
but he knows that he has permission. We've discussed it
at length. UM. So I don't know if he wants
to and I am not going to pressure him into
doing it, just so that it feels okay for me. Um.
Whenever you return from your date with the friend, does
he ever ask questions like what did you guys do?
(45:54):
What did you watch? What did you what was? Does
he have curiosity about it? Um? He usually ask like
what would you watch? And we do we watch? You know,
a movie or show or you know, whatever it might be. Um,
he has never really asked details about the other activities.
But you know, I just say this was a good
(46:15):
evening or you know, we me and the friend. Obviously
we have conversations too, and if something relevant comes up,
we'll talk about that, not even relationship wise, just or
friends who talk about things have similar interests. Um, So
I have a question, go ahead, I call on you. Donald.
Do you worry about forming a deeper relationship with good question? Donald? Um? No,
(46:41):
I mean, and that was my husband's. One of his
concerns with this is like, yeah, understandably. Um, you know,
my husband and I have been together for we This
Saturday will be our eleventh wedding anniversary. Um, we were Yeah,
we've been together for seventeen years. I'm I'm thirty three,
(47:03):
so I've been with him my entire adult life. So
like there's nothing that can be deeper and more profound
than that connection that we have already. Yeah, you guys
knew each other center junior high school, you said, uh,
since high school? High school? Okay, Yeah, I think I
would be insecure about And I've said this before, but
(47:25):
on so many levels, there's the what if he's better
at sex or I'm not better at sex? But what
if they have a better sexual chemistry than we do?
But if it's bigger than mine? Of course, if his
penis is bigger and more satisfying and girthier, Um, what
if you know? And of course, as Donald put it,
what if what if all of a sudden they just
hit it off and they have this incredible emotional connection
(47:48):
that's deeper than ours. That would make me so nuts. Yeah,
And I mean we've we've talked about that at length,
probably more so than a regular relationship, because we've brought
this up. Um, you know that is not it's hard
to know because you're just getting little snippets of our lives.
(48:08):
But um, you know, when this first came up, my
husband's like ask those exact same questions. What if you know,
you fall madly in love and you run away with him?
And I said, Okay, let's play that out. He would
never the friend would never ever let that happen, Like
even if I'm like, oh my gosh, I love you,
like let's run away together. He doesn't want to deal
(48:28):
with my kids. But what if the friend Okay, I
hear what you're saying. But do you ever think, I mean,
you're fully honest with yourself. The friend might have very
strong feelings for you. Yeah, and that that is valid.
And we does he date? Sorry, just start, Michelle. Does
he date outside of this situation? He has not yet.
(48:50):
He is on dating apps. He's looking around. We talk
about it, like sometimes when I go over there, we'll
look at the matches and I'll help him like craft
messages and you will be you won't be jealous when
he is with somebody else. No, And we've had I
check in with him, probably annoyingly frequently and make sure
like we're all good, like whatever you want on that end,
(49:11):
like you just have to let me know, you know,
I will do this as long as everyone is comfortable
and having a good time. If you feel like you
need more out of a relationship, like an actual relationship
where you can you know, foster something long term, get married,
what have you. Yeah, just tell me, yeah, because you
(49:32):
don't want him, especially if he's your friend getting stuck
in a situation where he's like, all right, here's my conundrum.
I love Michelle, but she's never gonna be mine because
we've established the parameters. But I don't care. I'm obsessed
with her. Maybe one day she'll change your mind. So
I'm not going to go out and find my life partner.
That could happen, right, right, And like I have told
(49:54):
him that that please. I want Ultimately, I want everyone
in this situation to be happy and whatever that takes.
Like before we even started this, before anything happened, when
we had the initial discussion, like, hey, would you be
interested in this? Um? I told him, and we had
this discussion that you know, our friendship comes first, Like
(50:17):
that was his main concerns, Like, I don't want this
to negatively impact our friendship. Um. You know, the three
of us have been friends for a long time. We
lost touch for a few years, um, like right before
the pandemic, and then the pandemic kind of brought us
back into the fold. So that friendship bond is there.
We just have a little extra I gotta tell you, Michelle,
(50:40):
whatever it is, it's working for you because you definitely
look happy, you know what I mean, even from when
we saw you the first time. It's like a complete
glow up. I don't know if it's the hair, eyes,
whatever it is, but it's like a glow up so
you seem happy. So whatever, you, guys, I know, but
I'm destinely works for you. But Donald, I'm fascinated by
(51:01):
the fact that Michelle is pulling off this balancing act.
I know, well, she's juggling. She definitely is juggling a
lot of situation. Yeah man, yeah man. It's like what
do I want tonight? Bee for chicken? You know what
I'm saying. She's juggling it. It's nothing wrong with that.
(51:22):
I saw Neil Brennan did a show. Does a show
that I highly recommend you guys see at the Cherry
Lane Theater if you're in New York. It's incredible. But
he made some joke that was like, your wife wants
to have sex three or four times a week, just
not necessarily with you, and I thought that was funny.
(51:42):
And Michelle's living her best life like but um, but Joel,
what are your thoughts on this. You're a very progressive woman.
You yeah, what do you? I mean, how do you?
I'm speechless? Do you have any thoughts on this? What
really impresses me is Michelle's ability to communicate. I feel
like a lot of people when they view polyanry, they
think of like, oh nice, hold whole sex partners, and
(52:03):
it's like fun and wild. But for my friends who
are in polyama's relationships, the most difficult part is like
now I gotta juggle for people's emotions and figure out
how they all feel. Like I'm a friend who dates couples, right,
They're like, I don't want to be in a committed relationship,
but I'm looking for like the feelings of love without
having to fall in love. And I mean when you're
with a couple, like that's really messy. You're like working
(52:24):
with both of their needs and desires, but also they
come with their own like couple baggage, um, and so
it's hard, I think to have successful relationships like this.
I was going to say the same thing Joel, like
what happens when he does find another relationship? But you
guys still keep your relationship going and the other person
has to has to find their way into this and
(52:45):
y and we sell this whole fucking thing to Bravo.
That's what Zach, I promise you. This isn't new, this
is this happens all the time. No, I know, but
it's new to me. I even Joel using the proper
lingo polyamory relationships, it's new to me. I don't know.
Michelle is the first person I've ever spoken to who's
(53:07):
doing this successfully, um so, and I'm sure a lot
of our listeners all over the world are are are
are hearing about it for the first time. I mean
some and some are doing it successful. And some of
them are listening while they're fucking their their husband's best
friend they're right now, meaning like it's like us anyway. Sorry,
(53:43):
this is a side note, Michelle, if you don't mind
my digression. Joelle sent Donald and I a link for
someone who wants to advertise on our on our show.
And I don't want to say the product name because
I don't want to give them an ad before we decide,
but Joelle send the link to Daniels so he knows
what it is. Is a thing you put your penis
into and it blows. Is it blow? Air on it.
(54:06):
It's suction. It's suction and blowing. Yeah, it's like it's pressure.
It's air pressure. It's not a it's not a um
um if it's not a fake vagina. We've a silicon thing.
It's actually made women. It's men and women. No, No,
it's for the phallus Donald. I know, but no, they're
saying the same thing that they do. There's a suction
thing that they have for women now that they can
(54:27):
put on their clitterus. It's the same technology. But okay,
But Joel, I was shocked a but that you wanted
us to advertise this on the podcast and be that
I don't have one at my home to try. Say
we should at least try these things, Joel, I just
want you know the product like that, we have to
test it to seeing these things you must be. I
(54:50):
can't endorse you searched. I can't endorse the Dyson penis
sucker until I've tried it the five thousand until and
send anial one too, Joel, did you see it? Dale?
There's a whole video. I was like, I went to
their website because I was obviously curious, and I was like,
how are they going to do a demonstration video. They
(55:12):
clearly smartly smartly use animation, not real people. Um, but
it's just anything doesn't promote anything like Actually their advert
their ad campaign is that is would you don't you
ever wish you could have an orgasm on the scale
of a female orgasm? And this and this product says
(55:33):
that it will give the mail the explosive nature of
received product from We are not listen, if you work
for this company, we are not advertising for you until
we get UM samples. Yes for discussion. All right, I'm sorry, Michelle,
(55:57):
I just had to bring that up. To bring that up, Um, well, listen.
The good news is is that things are good and
nothing bad has happened, and you are living proof that
people can be in polyamorous relationships and be happy and
and it doesn't even have to be reciprocated in a
sense that your husband seems fine not having his own
(56:18):
UM situation. I wonder if I wonder if his best friend,
That's the thing. I wonder if his best friend, when
he does find a relationship because he is actively looking,
I wonder if he introduces Have you guys talked about
him introducing his relationship into this he hasn't gotten very
(56:40):
far in that that world. Um no, he's not going
on dates right right, He's he's you know, made some
matches and talked to a few people. But he has
told me he will be totally open with where he
is at in that process. And I am the kind
of person that if he starts going on dates, I'm
going to ask him where do you you know, do
(57:03):
you want to introduce this, Like do you want to
just you know, cut this off for a while, or
would you also want to make sure you're safe Because
if he's out there having sex with Randos, yes, but
also I mean another thing that's that's the state that's
obvious is he's having his sexual needs met. So that
(57:24):
hunger to go out and search for a mate is
probably lessons because he knows, he knows bi monthly. He's like,
not this week, but next week. And I when he
told me he had downloaded these dating apps, I'm like,
do you, like, do you want me to stop? Like
(57:46):
do you want to stop this and you know, just
start clean? Any His response was it feels good to
have that self confidence of being active even so here
here's like what you're talking about? Stop? I love his
very diplomatic answer. No, I don't feel that that would
(58:06):
be the best prescription. You want to stop what we
do it? Wait, hold on, now, you want to stop
the I was bullshit when I said I was looking
at the apps. I was serious. Um, all right, well,
I imagine we just came on for a catch us up, right.
(58:27):
You don't have unless you have any questions. No, she
can't have any questions. This woman's life is all figured out,
she's got it all going. Do you have to fix
your life? I don't. I just want to clarify one thing. Um,
we don't. We haven't labeled this like we are just
living this life. Um. But I think the term open
(58:48):
marriage is probably more appropriate than polyamory. Okay, okay, so
I don't know. We just go by Joel. She's our term.
That's anything though. We were very too as that. So listeners,
listeners who are also learning, there's a difference between polyamory
and just an open marriage, right and uh, I will
(59:11):
say people on the internet are not very nice. I
don't know if you know. You know what I know,
but you're but don't wait, they were they didn't they
didn't come find you, did they from our Okay, No,
no one has come and find found me. But I'm
we're using an alien for you, aren't you, aren't we? Yeah? Okay? Good? Oh.
I thought you were implying for a second that people
had found you from our show and we're being unkind.
(59:32):
I didn't like. No, you know, how did you mean it?
How did you like? In a comment section from when
the original episode posted, I well, you need to learn
now that you're in the now that you're in the
pretend public eye, you need to know to never read
a common section about yourself ever, ye lesson learned. Everybody.
(59:57):
Everybody has an opinion, man, everybody hasn't you know what?
If you're happy, easy to pass to cast judgment too.
It seems like you know what I mean. And if
you're happy and and and and and everyone's being honest,
then it's nobody else's business. You know. It's like Donald
and Casey and I we're talking about doing that stuff
fuck up, and we are kids experience. It's discussions. It's
(01:00:23):
in discussions. Sorry Joel's face probably all right, Michelle, thank
you for coming on. We always appreciate you. You're educating us, really,
and you're educating our our audience in in uh in
new ways of being for people that are out there.
You're not just limited to the stuff your parents grew
up with. You can do whatever the heck you want. Michelle.
(01:00:43):
We we have two favorite callers that call in. You
are one of them and the other one penis doctor. Yeah,
we need, we need. Do you know what I want
to have, Joelle? If you could coordinate this? Um, I'd
like to have the device that on your pen Yes,
Donald and I and then I and then I'd like
(01:01:04):
to have doctor Pean has come on and tell me
why I'm now having a female orgasm? Um. All right, guys,
that's our show. It was a short recap because, as
Donald explained to me, they're all recycled jokes. We love
you all very much, Michelle, thanks for coming on and
(01:01:25):
thanks for coming back on. Tell you guys. When we
set what's up? Tell your husband, we said hello, and
tell his best friend. We set what's up? Everybody, We
said hello, and we love you guys. Stories about show
we made about a bunch of nurses. Story sound here
(01:01:51):
are yeah an he
Well, there he is. There, he is got a new
look happening, I do. Yeah, you shaved your head and
went full beard. Looks not a new look. It's not
a new look. It's I don't think the hair has
been as always tightly in a while. It's not cropped,
it's actually did you have a fade? No, what do
(00:23):
you call that? This is just a one to the
to the piece? Did you do your own one? I
did my own one to they didn't you have one
of those guys comes over. I always watched these Instagram
videos about African American haircuts because I find them so interesting.
It's like an art form. He takes and he cuts,
and he cuts, and he shapes and he didn't and
(00:44):
then this and then and some people are very much
into lines and shape ups. Yeah, you don't do that.
I don't. That's never been my style. Look at what's
in the background of Dan Dan. I'll bring that thing close.
Tell me you got a puppy. We did get a puppy.
And I'm trying to mute myself as much as possible
so that she doesn't provide any annoyance. But one can
(01:05):
you bring her close to the camera for the love
of yahweh home good? This is this is Kelly. It
looks like a walk Yeah. Does it celebrate the live? Ye?
(01:28):
There's usually people that know that I know the song.
You don't know the lie I know you don't know.
Celebrate the life? Yeah? No, Um, Daniel, did you choose
it because it looked like a baby e walk? Oh?
(01:50):
I would like to say yes, but really, Stephanie chose it? Joelle?
Have you seen the baby? Adorable? I want to bob SnO,
so cute. I'm just I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed in the name.
What little Kelly? Yeah? The name should I mean, I
get it. The name should be wicked or chief chub Chub.
(02:11):
I think it should be I think it should be
numb nubt. You know, Lord knows where I'll go from here.
Celebrate the life, ye, yub nub. It even has a
theme song. You're not going to celebrate the life of
yub Nub. It should be celebrate the live. I always
(02:32):
laughed at the fact that the Ewok song just there
just was no translation in language and the language in
the universe. Everything else was covered in ewakes, but not
celebrate the life and the universal language. Celebrate the life
translates or celebrate the life into universal language, whether it's ewokas,
(02:54):
whether it's uh, whether it's uh ten ten Dorian. Aren't
you impressed that I know even some of the lyrics
the E Walk song Ye Numb Chicken wine content. You
don't know any of ye numb Oh you know, celebrate
the live Yeah, no, ye numb, yep numbe. Look, I
(03:14):
know there's a word. I think there's something like halle
look the nah. It would be great, Joel, if you
could track down someone who is um. There's people on YouTube.
Let's bring one of those people on who knows the
whole dude? He plays it like on a mandolin. And
(03:35):
you guys, this podcast is so popular that I'm walking
around New York City with Bill and twice this happened.
I'm wearing a mask and he's not, and people go, Oh,
that's that dude from Fake Doctor's Your Friends. Wow, that's sick.
Bill Lawrence is getting recognized not for being an epic
(03:55):
Emmy winning showrunner, but for being on the Fake Doctor's
podcast Boom. You know, we do what we do for
our people, you know what I mean. We try to
help everybody out with their fame I'm just saying, like,
and then you're welcome, You're welcome, Bill. And then all
the time people are coming up to me and saying
how much they love the podcast, and it feels so great.
Thank you those who do that. It makes me so happy.
(04:18):
You know, I appreciate each and every one of them.
You know why, because they can put up with you me, Daniel,
I mean, anybody can put up with Joel. Joel is
like that. She's the best, truly the best one. Joe,
have you ever not cut along with someone you're so pleasurable?
I imagine you don't want to get on Joel's bad side.
I imagine whoever that person was, like, get me angry.
(04:43):
It takes so much, but people have achieved it. People
have achieved I feel, I feel, I feel like when
it gets to that level, though Joel's like, oh you've
done fucked up, no kind of over and for life,
after gates are closed, I don't want to speak or
(05:04):
because after we've tried everything. At that point, I've laid
down some rules of giving you some time to work
and like achieve, like getting better at you know, my
boundaries and my boundaries time for everybody. Some people you know,
I know what. That's fine. Are we giving them a card? No?
Not today Thursday. Have you ever had hands on someone, Joel? No?
(05:24):
Why would I fight? That's I don't understand. L Have
you sorry? Go ahead, go ahead, I'm sorry, you got
I'm done, Daniel. Have you ever had to put hands
on someone? The only so the short answer no, The
very slightly longer answer is the only time that I've
ever punched anyone was in eighth grade when someone put
(05:45):
my hat in a vending machine and I punched him
in the stomach. Have you ever laid hands on Yeah?
In defense. I didn't start it, but I fought back, Joel,
I hear you, man. I hate when people trying to
start shit, and that why why am I gonna mess
up my beautiful face for like? Tell of her like?
(06:05):
You gotta step to do. We gotta teach them a lesson.
You gotta listen. I don't need to stay out of
your way and you need to stay out of mine.
And it's sign I have a large friendship circle. They
will protect me emotionally, physically, spiritually if necessary. I'm just
not gonna do it. I don't need in life. I
was prepared to once though, when an old man was
trying to come onto a twelve year old in a Starbucks,
(06:27):
I had to, like it, cans out his pants. I
had to like absolutely step in front of the two
of them. Nobody was doing anything. He's been very loud
and obvious about it. She's terrified. I was like, bro,
you gotta get out of here. I was just talking
to her, like, you don't need to talk to her.
She's alone in a Starbucks. She's if she's not fourteen,
like that's the max age she could be this. That
(06:47):
was ready that day, but it didn't come to it.
Good good, thank god. So I went to Governor's Ball
and saw Charlotte Lawrence perform. Was very exciting and it
was so cool because I had experience of not only
seeing Charlotte, who've known this little kid performing at this
giant festival, but standing next to her father, who you know.
There's a Yiddish expression called kvelling, and it means my
(07:11):
father used to always say it it's when you're when
you're just hard, is so full of pride and you're
just beaming at at your child often and he was
kvelling watching his daughter just rule the stage and she
was so funny. She had a couple of fuck ups
she did the funniest, but she like made a joke
out of it. She had one big funny joke that
got a laugh and Bill goes, I wrote that. And
(07:32):
then and then she's jamming on the guitar. She has
this moment where she goes and picks up the guitar
and she goes over to her guitars and they're like
jamming together like people do on stage. And then you
see her talking to him and they both start laughing,
and she goes over to the guitar plug and picks
it up. The guitar wasn't plugged in for the moment
(07:52):
that they were jamming together, and she makes this face
like like but like like she My point is she
knew even through fuck ups to like to like how
to make a joke outut of me, you know, in
front of so many people. That's amazing her parents, kid man,
that's awesome. She sounded great. And uh, and then I
went and saw we went. We had some time to kill,
(08:13):
so we thought, I want to see Phoebe Bridgers, who
was going to be on the same stage, but Meg
the Stallion was on another stage. And no, you're not
gonna believe this. Bill Lawrence and I went to Mega
Stallion and I wish you could see I wish you
could have seen a camera on me and Bill watching
(08:33):
Mega Stallion and her dancers dance very very, very provocatively.
I sent Donald, I sent Donald over the video. But
I only know Mega Stallion from the wop video. I
don't really know her music. Um, you don't know Savage anyway,
(08:54):
It's it's a lot like a strip pole show with
me with music. There's a lot of naughty, naughty twerking Donald.
It's great. I love that. That's great. I know, I'm
just saying I totally appreciate the fact that you two, Witten,
you know, got a little bit of culture. We did.
We got some culture. I had two We did two
(09:15):
songs worth of tworking and um and then and then
and then we left. Where were the two songs, I
don't know, but there was heavy tworking involved in both
of them. Um. But then we watched Phoebe Bridgers, which
was a little bit more our speed. UM. But no,
(09:40):
that was it. That was cool that Phoebe Bridgers sing.
You know, it's singer songwriter. You'd probably find it boring. No.
I like singer songwriters. You know it's it's a girl
singing sad songs with her guitar. You know who. I like.
She's got beautiful poetry. But the young lady I like
(10:02):
is uh, what's her name? Follow your arrow wherever it points?
Country singer, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys,
or kiss lots of girls if that's what. Yeah, Kasey Musgraves, Yes,
(10:24):
straight and narrow gets a little too straight. Roll up
a joint. That shit is fire. Follow your ever wherever
it points. Don't follow your arrow wherever um. Did you
watch Amanda Clutes on Dancing with the Stars crushed? Now?
(10:47):
I don't know anything about this scoring, but giving her
sevens for that was fucking bullshit. I think there must
be one of these things where like they don't want
to get your ego too high week one. Also, that
basketball player. Did you watch him? He was incredible and
he got low scores too, Do you guys watch I
did watch it. I'm not a big fan of people
judging how other people dance. I think that's kind of
(11:11):
you know whatever. Okay, but didn't you think his scores
were too low? He was incredible. Yeah, of course they
of course I do. But you know, hey, whatever, that's
that's the way it goes. Anyway, everybody listening, I can't,
I can't, you know. Yeah. If anything, if anything, what
I took away from the whole show was vote Amanda Clutes. Y'all,
if you're listening to this and she's still on when
(11:33):
this comes out, yeah, please vote Amanda clut Vote Amanda Clutes.
Her dance was amazing and I'm gonna watch tonight. I'm
excited too, Yeah, don't I like to. I was lying,
it's well, you know what, you know what you know,
who should have been on the show? Not Iman shumperd
who's the basketball you're player? You're talking about his wife,
(11:54):
Tianna Taylor. Oh hey, oh professional dancer though a man. Well,
I just want to give Clutes one fair thing, Okay,
of course, it's so so Spice, the Spice girl. So's
the freaking gymnastics So it's Joe Joe what's her name? Yeah,
all of that stuff is all of those cats have
(12:15):
taken dances, and Cody was a backup dancer apparently. But anyway,
Cody's not on right now because I know, did you
hear what happened. Yeah, man, Cody's partner. Cody's partner got COVID,
so we can't perform this week. Oh it's bullshit. They
should have given him some other pro to come in,
and I'm sure the pro could have picked it up
(12:37):
in a half a day or probably ten minutes and
dance with him. Don't you think that would have been
better what it was the day before? It's literally literally
I dud I know why not? Why not? If I
was a producer of the show, I would have said, everyone,
this is a stand in, so you got to treat
his points and everything be gentle. But he'll be dancing
(12:59):
with s fed Lana. Everybody he sped Lana sped. Lana
could learn the routine and a half a day, she's
my stand in professional dancer. I thought you actually knew, no,
But they often have like Eastern European names. Lana sounded right.
I did not doubt it. That's I don't know why
(13:19):
they didn't do that, like bring in a ringer. I
don't know, an understudy, if you will donald to use
a theater term, yeah, a backup dancer. Well, just I
just feel bad for Cody. Yeah, but anyway, Amanda's Amanda.
Amanda cludes, I don't know how long. When when does
(13:40):
this air? This one? Duell, do you have any idea?
We are so far ahead right now, air like mid November?
All right, should we get into the show. We should
totally give to the show. Let's do it stories about
show we made n story yea. This episode has so
(14:16):
many things packed into with Donald. I mean sometimes you
get an episode all old jokes. Every joke in this
they're not all old. Not a joke in this is
old jokes, except for the Turk and Carlos storyline and
the stuff that goes on with car there's some random
ass ship. First of all, the riddle's not old. The
hair met's not old. The riddle is old. The riddle
(14:38):
we did this one already. The riddle is old. This
is That's why it's called my deja vu, My deja vu.
We did this. Everything in this is all re used jokes.
All of the Joe the riddle has already been on
Yes no Joel, yes, yes, yeah. That's why at the
end you say, oh, that's what happened to my bike,
(14:58):
because he destroyed your bike. Glass Sunny wrote it. The
hair met all of the stuff. The whole show is
all jokes from Scrubs past. Oh so that's like, that's
so lame. It's like a it's like, what did they
call a clip show? It's not a clip show. We
actually act out all of the old jokes. Though. Did
(15:19):
you watch the show? I watched it, but I didn't.
I'm sorry that my memory I went. I honestly went, oh,
this is the moment the riddle, Oh, this is the
moment hairmett. I didn't know that that they're they're rehaction.
This is all react but so lame. Why did they
do that? I don't know. I mean, I guess I
wanted to prove you could tell the same. It's all
(15:40):
still funny, like all of the time, jokes, all of
the time from the right. You didn't laugh at innuendo. Again,
I laughed at every single one of them. But I'm
sorry that my brain can't even tell you that I
was under the impression and I was hearing these for
the first time. There was a whole floating head doctor,
a renewed whole floating head dot, but that was a
(16:00):
new floating head that wasn't new floating head doctor. Short, Yes, yeah,
that stunt lady took some nice hits to the head.
To the head, all right. So Cox returns from his hiatus,
trying to drink himself to death, as he put it,
and I get him a big hug. It's set on scrubs,
(16:21):
will keep. This is the second time we ever hug,
right though, I don't think so. And I say, you
sent those demons right back to hell, didn't you. I
was out of my mind in this episode, dude. This
whole episode is out of its mind. Dude, I know,
but I was extra effeminate and extra silly, and I
(16:43):
enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong, but I was like
on below or something. I mean, not in real life.
The character was extra hyper. Yeah, well we should also
talk about First of all, we should talk about these
are the these are the things in the show that
weren't deja vu, Ernie the homeless man. Okay, welcome back Cox, sir,
(17:03):
Welcome back cos Heir. Now, how hard did you laugh
when I'm going off on my run? Oh? Dude, who
I thought they need us? That was a run I
was gonna do. But I guess it's a little now.
That ship was hilarious. And also I remember us shooting.
This is the only part of the episode that I
remember us shooting. Everything else I don't remember. But who
(17:25):
I thought they need you? That was a run that
I was going to do. And when I'm like, well
them names, then the names and I wish I still
had a welcome back Cox or T shirt. Those were nice. Yeah, Yeah,
that was a run that I was gonna do. But
(17:46):
now it's awkward. Now I don't know thought they need you?
Why am I riding? Why am I riding Sasha through
a ring of fire? Can you explain that to me?
Because this is what you do. You get it. It's
a routine of yours that has developed to run an
errand so I grab an apple, you get as always,
(18:07):
you get a lunch. My lunch was the apple off
an apple tree. And then I did something else and
then I rode through a ring of fire, which didn't
there's a callback later on. Yeah, but you just run
through the ring of fire. Yeah, Turk jumps through it.
That was your stunt double though. Yeah, Like this episode
was nuts, man. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember
some of this shit, like some of the things that
(18:27):
like Turk gets to watch Sanford and Sun while because
Carlo's reading her book and so all of the great
things that happened to him. The one we really fucked
it up was like he offers her a burrito, he
has two, he offers her one and she says no.
He puts the burrito off screen and does a little
hand movement. Yeah. Yeah, it's one gigantic but so stupid.
(18:49):
I wish I had that ability. I wish I had
that ability. Do you ever watch the guys who are
who roll the burritos when you were like one of
those places, you know whatever, it's Chipotle or something better,
and you're like, they're never gonna be able to roll
this one too thick, it's too thick, but they always do.
They always it in burrito employees are good baby swaddlers,
(19:13):
probably probably because that's what you're pretty much doing. You know,
when I learned on the interwebs, do you know who
wrote the Sandford and Sun theme song goal? If you
say Alan Thick, no, Quincy Quincy Jones, Quincy Jones, Quincy.
That was oneb We licensed that Shiit like every other
(19:38):
week we're paying Quincy money he doesn't need. I met
jj Abrams daughter. I was trying to angle for a
part for you because she's one of Charlotte's best friends
and and um, and she's very nice. She's a singer too.
And but I'm staring, and I'm going, how can I
(20:00):
get Donald a job through JJ? I know JJ. I
did Pelicity with j J. I know, but I was
I thought if I thought J Jay wants to use me,
he knows how to. I just thought if the daughter
came home and said, Dad, you know he's so funny
Donald phase On, he might be like, yes, I worked
with Donald back before I was a mega, mega director,
(20:20):
that would help a lot. Actually, I was trying for
you that that that always helps. I guess when the
kids come home and say, Dad, you know what? Yeah?
This Dudelson ended up in Rihanna's music video Bitch Better
Have My Money. His kids were like, you can't pass
up an opportunity to work with Rihanna. He was like,
I don't know who that is, and they were like,
(20:41):
please work with Rihanna. Mad Michon kids get a lot
of stuff done to You guys got to watch listeners.
Did I mention The Hunt already? You guys gotta watch
this movie with Mad Michilson called the hunt is wild.
It is. It is dark as fuck. You cannot be
someone who doesn't. And I don't mean thriller horror dark.
(21:02):
I mean emotionally dark, like you're gonna be in the
fetal position when it's over, but it might. Let's take
a break. We'll be right back after these fine words.
We really did the riddle before I could have sworn
this was that you are a fucking Okay, so Cox doesn't.
(21:26):
Um he's afraid to diagnose missus Goldstein. He's lost his mojo, right,
he well, he he we assumed that he has. Well,
he reveals in the end at the end, right, he
comes clean in the end. But but that's because Elliott
kind of forces him. Now. I never I never looked
at their relationship as a problem to relationship. I thought
(21:48):
they had their disagreements and everything like that. But today
it really this episode, he says, to who I wrote
it down. Um, Cox says Elliott is not his favorite.
Yeah to her face. Yeah, and she and he says,
and I bet you can agree. I can. I'm sure
you agree with what I'm saying. And you feel the
(22:11):
same way about me, you know, Yeah, But I never
knew that. I never digested that they had a relationship
like that. But yeah, he was always tough on her.
He fucks with her a lot. Yeah, but I thought
it was out of love. It turns out it's not.
It's out of the fact that he just doesn't like her.
You know, he respects. At the end, he shows that
he respects her. I wonder why he doesn't like her.
(22:32):
M I don't know. The Johnny tattooed on Kelsel's butt
has been said before. Yes, he was an old navy buddy,
and if you knew what we went through, you'd understand. Yes,
damn it. I laughed at that. I feel stupid now.
I laughed at the jokes at the same time. You
know what joke had me? Okay, so this joke had
me rolling. Okay, She'll have a ginger rail, he'll have
(22:53):
a beer, and I'll have an Apple teeny. You know,
what the hell with it. I'm gonna have a real drink.
Make that a nectary. Kevin goes, I don't know what
that is. J D goes, Oh, come on, Kevin, you know,
make it, make it. And then it comes and I
go dynamite Nectarini. That man knows his way around my nectar.
(23:22):
I was like Sean Hayes in this episode, Dude, this
episode is like, well, that joke is first of all,
where's the punchline in the joke other than the nectar?
You know what I mean. It's just the word nectar
is funny, that's all. But even before that though, Oh,
come on, Kevin, you know make it. That's the punchline
of that part of the joke. Come on, Kevin, you
know this. Don't act like a nectarini. I don't know,
(23:49):
I don't know. Don't drink, Joel. What's in a nectarini?
I've never heard of it, but I'll look it up
right now. How about when I passed the basketball to
Leonard and he catches it with his hook hand and
pops it. No ball in the hall. That's a freaking
actual that's also a deja vu moment. And now, um,
two things I say, don't worry about the ball. They
(24:12):
come three to a can tennis. Yes. And then you
notice that Leonard has to duck for his effort to
get underneath the doorway. Poor Leonard, I mean, he's a
security yard. He's pacing around the hospital and every doorway
he has to duck because of that hairstyle. Yeah, hilarious.
(24:35):
What is he pacing like? He didn't have a station.
He didn't have a station. He's like he's he's um.
Leonard's the type of security yard that has to has
to walk the halls and uh and see if there's
any trouble. Is it like a century yes, yes, yes,
well here we go. Prosecco. It's a prosecco cocktail made
with fresh nectarines, um nectarines and chill prosecco. It's kind
(25:02):
of like it's kind of like a mimosa but instead
of orange juice. Come on, Kevin, you know, you know,
make it um. Now, we learned that Troy went to
Yale um with chest This is all deja vu, dude,
(25:22):
Troy going to Yale deja vu? But okay, annal Jesu
I remembered was deja vu? Yes, um that I learned
it from watching you made me laugh so hard, My god.
That those of you who don't know, there used to
be a public service announcement about drugs, right and do
(25:43):
you remember that Donald? And there was what was the
drug that the parents were doing with the weed? Yeah,
so the whole idea for the PSA, this is when
Donal and I were growing up, and it was definitely
at least in the Tri State area, and and the
and the parents were like where did you how do
who taught you how to do this? He found like
the kids weed? And the kid was like, I learned
from watching you, okay, from watching you? Yeah, And it
(26:07):
was like I was supposed to be a PSA to parents, like,
you know, don't smoke weed and your kids, right, they're
gonna smoke just like you. Yeah, I'm sure you can
find it on YouTube. Learned from watching you. But even
even the monologue when Cock when you walk into the
hospital in the beginning of the show and he does
the monologue, the rhythm of it and you stepping in
(26:29):
in between it and for the punchline and then him
going back into nevertheless and whatever it is. You know
what I mean? That all deja vu, like all of it,
like this whole I think we need to have an
ask Bill here. I know it's hard to track him
down now that he's an Emmy winner, but um, Bill time, Bill,
now we know your big time and you're an Emmy
(26:49):
winner now and probably won't return our call, But why
why did you do this episode? And just repeat all
these jokes. Was the writer's room so backed up that
your idea was, what if we did a deja vu
episode and repeated all of our greatest hit jokes. Well,
it's not even the greatest hit jokes though, let's keep
it on. There's some there's some pretty darn good ones,
(27:10):
some great ones actually, but some of them are ones
that people missed before. So it's like, you know, let's like,
obviously you didn't recognize it because you forgot about You
thought this was all the first time these jokes came through.
All right, Well, Bill, what was the reason behind repeating
all these jokes in my deja Vu? Ask Bill? Okay, um,
(27:30):
you guys should ask Bill, Hey, Bill, how you feeling? Man?
How you doing you lonely? Because if you did ask
Bill that the answer would be, no, I'm good. Anyways, Yeah,
my deja vu. Here's the scope. It's really hard to
come up with all the stories we came up with
(27:52):
on Scrubs because one of the things all these physicians
and we tried to be realistic, you know, as a
medical show, and one of the things all the positions
that we interviewed would often say is the amazing thing
is that you kind of sometimes see the same things
over and over and over and over, and then we
kind of got obsessed with you know, maybe we could
(28:13):
do the same medical stories with two patients, you know,
or with a patient and in the hospital, but with
different endings because sometimes people come in and it goes differently, right,
And also we were way behind, and so this felt
like a great idea to do an episode quick because
if it's called made my deja vu, deja vu, we
(28:33):
all tell stories twice, we all tell jokes twice. And
the laziest thing we did in this episode but was
we did the janitor ce story the riddle line for
line except for one change, line for line and shot
for shot. Do you know what the one changes? We
should ask Bill? Ask Bill? Hey? You know you guys
(28:58):
should ask Bill, and you ask Bill sometimes is you
should ask Bill how he's feeling? And you know, hey, Bill,
when we ask Bill, how are you doing? You know
what that Bill would say that Bill would say, you know,
I hide it, but sometimes I'm not so great, so
I don't know. Anyways. The one difference, no difference in
(29:20):
the longest Asked Bill ever, The one difference was the
janitor changed where he went to college. The first time
we did it, I think he said he went to Harvard,
and the second time he said he went to Yale.
There's your trivia answer. Peace out. How are you guys doing?
See you? Thank you Bill. Carla says, if she can't
(29:40):
do things, turk can't do that. Now did this happen
to you? Do this a thing that really happens to come?
Sure it does. I'm sure it does. My wife didn't
do that to me when my wife was pregnant with
our kids. Dude, I got to get it fucked up.
Like that was the best part about it. Like, I
was like, I'm gonna party to night. We're going out tonight.
We're gonna go eat sushi. She's like she had you
had a built in designated driver. Yeah. I was like,
(30:02):
we're going to get sushi. She's like, I can't eat sushi.
I was like, you could eat the hot plates, and
she was like, you're right, I can't eat the hot plates.
I do like the hot plates. And we'd go and
we'd eat sushi and I fucking get bombed on sake,
and she'd now, I have a question. See couples deal
with this differently. And you're our only father. So I
guess listeners will be answering to their phones. But I
(30:26):
hear that like some some couples do this, So like, no, no,
you have to do it with me. You can't drink,
you can't you anything selfish, that's bullshit, that's bullshit. What
about in the middle of the night when the mom
has to get up to breastfeed, and that's women. Some
women make the father get up too to sit with her.
That's that's cool, that's to be. I don't know about
get up and sit with them, but I do believe
(30:48):
that the if you have bottles and stuff like that,
and you're doing it that way, the right. But what
about in the scenario world the baby just needs to
breastfeed if you make me because the father expected to
just get up, and that's not a selfish man? Joel,
do you do you do you any knowledge of this
that self? Uh? Yeah, because my dad was the only
(31:09):
one who gave me to go back to sleep, so
he was up. I'm almost like, she doesn't go to
sleep with me, so you have to be up. Story,
that's a different story. But I would think if if
I totally totally, I would think that in my in
my non child having had some mothers, feel free to
correct me, but like, wouldn't I want my partner to
be asleep so that later I could be asleep and
they could be up. I feel like we had to
(31:30):
tag team this child anyway, So I don't know us
both being equally as exhausted Amanda, Amanda and Nick. I
think it did a version of that. We're like Amanda
would just let Nick's sleep and while she would breastfeed,
and then in the morning she'd be like, you're taking
the baby on a long ass walk and I'm gonna sleep. Yeah,
and had a little situation like that, Yeah, that's that's
the right way to do it. Yeah, especially okay, so actually,
(31:52):
more than anything, communication is the right way to do it.
If you guys can come up with a plan, it works.
The fact that Carla just springs this on turk, like, no,
this is the way gonna be a beard out of
your hand. Yeah. Yeah, that was funny though. But that's
why I do that with my kids now. When my
kid will be like, I'm drinking it, and I'd be like,
you better not drink it, you better put that back
in the fridge, and he goes, I'm gonna open it,
(32:14):
and he'll open up, but you better not sip it then,
and he'll sip that ship and then it'll be and
that's when hell breaks loose. Well yeah, and then and
then he sits there and then he'll stand there like,
I can't believe you just hit that out of my hand.
What will it be? Something with caffeine or something no,
like you know, so I made the mistake. Oh God,
(32:35):
these are the mistakes you make in life. I let them.
I let them taste sprite, and I let them taste
Canada dry ginger. He probably, yeah, but the sugar free
version is just as bad as the as the sugar version.
Regardless of what is in it. It is not necessarily
(32:58):
a good thing for them to drink. But I made
the mistake one time. I'm saying, you want to like
me being I was literally I could feel the devil
coming out of my skin. You want to try this,
little boy, You want to try this little girl, knowing
that the minute they tasted it, it would be like
I must have this forever and ever and ever. Why
don't you just not have it in the house. We
(33:20):
don't have it in the house. But anyway. So but
when it is in the house, he'll be like an
ask from Gingerrell. I'll be like no, and it'd be like, look,
my kid is the king of manipulation. He's like, I'm
just trying to have a conversation with you, dad, Like
we had the conversation. I said no. He's like, that's
not a conversation, that's you telling me no. That's all
that is. We're not talking about anything. You haven't even
(33:41):
heard what I'm asking for. Oh my god, this is
this is my son from I have no clue. I
have no clue. I think kids are good at just
they know their parents are tired, right, and they just
know like if they keep it going, the parents just exhausted.
They're like, I can't up. Its fine, that's what that's what.
(34:05):
Don't you think kids play on that. They know that
you're just always tired, so you're just gonna be like, oh, fine,
have it. He's a little ass sometimes so like he's
a dummy sometimes like one time he did that, he right,
and as he's walking away with the prize, he goes
and that's what I and that's how it's done. I
knew if I just pressured her. He walks by and
(34:28):
walks off the room right with whatever the whatever, whatever
it was, maybe whether it's a donut, soft drink, or
whatever the fuck it is. He's now exited and is
about to go and do what it is that he
wanted to do. And he lets out what the plan was,
and me and my wife both look at each other, like,
what the fuck this motherfucker did? Did what? He's running
(34:53):
that house over there, future ceo over here understands yeah,
and it's it's he just gets the art of you
say no, and he finds a way to make it
so that no was the wrong answer, you know. I
mean it's like no, I said no, You're not even
having a conversation. I did have the conversation with you.
(35:14):
I said no, no, No, that's not even where we're
at yet. I haven't even explained to you the scenario. Well,
what it is I'm trying to do. What I'm trying
to say is rock. Oh I said no, and now
you're interrupting me. Oh, I wish you'd just let me finish.
I'm not having kids. Don't do it. If I would
not survive the eighties. We need someone on this podcast.
(35:36):
Who's who promotes how great having kids is because this
podcast is making me not need them. You know, I'll
tell you this right now, but they sound exhausted. But
then this weekend, I freak it. You know it's it's true.
But then this weekend we went out and watched him
play a soccer game against a bunch of other kids,
(35:56):
and they all like his team that the team that
they were playing against was obviously better than them, was
better passing, all of that stuff. But his team won
by one point. It was a penalty kick and Rocco
kicked the penalty kick into the goal, you know what
I mean. And it was one nothing. And it was
a hard fought game. And there, you know, the our
(36:20):
goalkeeper he blocked like hundred and not hundreds, but like
at least ten shots directly at him. It was just
an amazing game. One nothing. Go congratulations team. Um, I
laughed at when you when I when I get your coffee,
I go, please have some sort of nut nut and
it's hazel its I only like one type of nut
(36:45):
milk in my coffee, almond. That's it. No, I think
I was talking about the coffee blend itself. It was
hazel nut coffee do you like hazel nut? I do. UM.
I only like um oat milk. In terms of milk,
you don't like almond w um because I like the
taste of oats and I think it makes a nice flavor.
(37:08):
A lot of people are a lot of people are
allergic to oats. Oh really, yeah, I don't um, I
don't um. I don't have real milk in my coffee anymore. Um,
liberry library, strawberry, strawberry. These are all old jokes. Yes,
I feel so, I feel so. I will say this.
(37:29):
What's the words Neil's response. Neil's response to each one
of Troy's uh buttons is different. Okay, that's not deja vu.
Neil's not saying the same joke with him, but the
whole thing with the coin. We just watched that earlier. Okay, Well, um,
(37:50):
let's talk about how floating head doctor and and and
how body kills Elliott. Yes, and then floating head doctor
and body fight a fight. Yes, and we should say
by Linda Mendoza, our director of the week, deja vu,
deja vu? Written by who though Schwartz, I believe Mike Schwartz.
(38:14):
Let me double check my notes. Yes, Mike Schwartz and
Linda Mendoza. Um, we're gonna get a break and we'll
be right back after this, and we're bad. Um, I
(38:35):
wonder what is this the Christmas episode? Are we near
the Christmas episode for Fake Doctor's real friends? Is this
around the holidays yet? Are we near? Well? I want
to say that Cox finally comes around and has a
very heartfelt conversation with Elliott, and Um, I thought that
was well done. And he's so mean to her. I
(38:57):
think she said, you've never shown me an ounce of respect.
And then he confesses to her that he was indeed
petrified to make a decision on his patient's healthcare and
he didn't want anyone to know. And he said, I
hope that in telling you this, you see that I
do indeed respect you. Yes, that was well acted by them,
(39:22):
both both of them. Yeah. Well this episode, everyone else
is in peripheral. These two are actually center stage telling
a story. And it's a great it's a great it's
a great fake out too, you know, like you honestly
believe that Cox is back and he's fine, but in
all honesty, he's still it's still in him and he
(39:44):
still feels you know, he still feels the guilt. I'm
sure that happens to to real doctors when they make
a call that was wrong. I could imagine they get
in their head and and and second guests themselves. But
good doctor as well. If you're a good doctor, you
(40:04):
push forward, keep it moving. The World Spins madly On
by the Wheepies is a beautiful song. The show ends too.
The Wheepies is a great band. If you don't know,
I'm gonna say, who are the Whepies? Tell us about
the Wheepies. Well, um, they're a couple, and um they
just have a lot of beautiful music. Put them into
your Spotify and I guarantee you you will enjoy a
(40:25):
lot of their music. It's very like Chill Laurel Canyon vibes,
couple harmonies. The World Spins madly on. Troy might have
killed somebody in confusion, Like it's a possibility, Like somebody
confused him so much that he was like kill him Troy.
Troy seems to not get that the janner doesn't really
(40:48):
want me dead. He likes to torture me and he
likes to ruin my life. But Troy keeps having to
be told that no, we're not we're not going to
kill j D. But he's and he's so eager to
do it, right. I just feel like, what would happen
if Troy was off? Yeah, it's like, you know, I
(41:08):
used to this cat, and the cat would be out
all night. It was an outdoor cat, and we came
in and out. But when it was out at night,
it would leave offerings of the animals it caught on
the back deck. It would leave a little rat, it
would leave a little bird. And and that's kind of
what the that's what what what cats do for? Who
(41:30):
they perceived to be the leader of the pack. They
ca yeah, it was our family cat, but in terms
of the cat mentality, they want to leave offerings to
the leader of the pack. And look what I caught
for for for you, great leader. Here's my contribution right
here is what I did last night. And I thought,
(41:50):
what if Troy Um did that for Neil and killed
me and left me on the left me on the
janitor's back porch. O God, that would have been a
good fantasy. I'm no Superman. Man finale over done. I'm
(42:16):
no Superman. And it turns out I was not a
Superman because I'm dead I'm no Superman. Donk serious finale
tonight a very special episode of Scrubs. It's the serious finale.
(42:40):
See my neat tattoo though, I show you guys. Skull
that's so cool. I really like it. Why do'd you
get a skull? I got a skull because I guess
I got a skull because I just like skull. Okay,
(43:01):
I understand, it's just I mean, it's a skull, I know,
but I like it's not a scary skull. That's a skull.
It was just cute skull. All right, Joel, let's bring
the collar, and we got a collar. You can talk
some you know, like a bottle maybe talking about the episode.
(43:26):
So come on, let's ladies and gentlemen give me. I'm
for my shit. Schell, I know that face. Are you
(43:47):
still married? The question is are you still married? Oh? Goodness?
Is that Michelle? Oh, Joel, Christmas has come early? Yes, Michelle,
I'm worried that you're sitting alone. Is that a bad sign?
It is not. My husband had to go on a
(44:07):
business trip. We are still married, a business trips trip.
Let's remind our listeners who have missed the episode. Michelle,
please interrupt me if I if I summarize this in
any incorrect way. Michelle went to her husband and said
(44:28):
that she would like to have sex with his best
friend and his her husband said okay. He didn't say okay,
he was like yes, yeah, and he was not allowed
to be there. They would go off and do it
at the friend's house and um, and they do it
(44:49):
um monthly, Mitchelle, every other week every other week. Oh sorry,
by monthly yes, and uh. And the friend still hangs
out with the with the them at their house. They're
all tight and um. And at last, at last check in,
the husband had not yet been given an opportunity to
have the same sort of situation on her side of things.
(45:12):
So Michelle did say it was all good if he
did want to do it. They just had to find
the right person, right, Michelle, What is going on in
this in this wacky family? Well, I am sorry to
tell you that it is not very much of an update.
Everything is still good. Um. He has not done anything,
(45:32):
but he knows that he has permission. We've discussed it
at length. UM. So I don't know if he wants
to and I am not going to pressure him into
doing it, just so that it feels okay for me. Um.
Whenever you return from your date with the friend, does
he ever ask questions like what did you guys do?
(45:54):
What did you watch? What did you what was? Does
he have curiosity about it? Um? He usually ask like
what would you watch? And we do we watch? You know,
a movie or show or you know, whatever it might be. Um,
he has never really asked details about the other activities.
But you know, I just say this was a good
(46:15):
evening or you know, we me and the friend. Obviously
we have conversations too, and if something relevant comes up,
we'll talk about that, not even relationship wise, just or
friends who talk about things have similar interests. Um, So
I have a question, go ahead, I call on you. Donald.
Do you worry about forming a deeper relationship with good question? Donald? Um? No,
(46:41):
I mean, and that was my husband's. One of his
concerns with this is like, yeah, understandably. Um, you know,
my husband and I have been together for we This
Saturday will be our eleventh wedding anniversary. Um, we were Yeah,
we've been together for seventeen years. I'm I'm thirty three,
(47:03):
so I've been with him my entire adult life. So
like there's nothing that can be deeper and more profound
than that connection that we have already. Yeah, you guys
knew each other center junior high school, you said, uh,
since high school? High school? Okay, Yeah, I think I
would be insecure about And I've said this before, but
(47:25):
on so many levels, there's the what if he's better
at sex or I'm not better at sex? But what
if they have a better sexual chemistry than we do?
But if it's bigger than mine? Of course, if his
penis is bigger and more satisfying and girthier, Um, what
if you know? And of course, as Donald put it,
what if what if all of a sudden they just
hit it off and they have this incredible emotional connection
(47:48):
that's deeper than ours. That would make me so nuts. Yeah,
And I mean we've we've talked about that at length,
probably more so than a regular relationship, because we've brought
this up. Um, you know that is not it's hard
to know because you're just getting little snippets of our lives.
(48:08):
But um, you know, when this first came up, my
husband's like ask those exact same questions. What if you know,
you fall madly in love and you run away with him?
And I said, Okay, let's play that out. He would
never the friend would never ever let that happen, Like
even if I'm like, oh my gosh, I love you,
like let's run away together. He doesn't want to deal
(48:28):
with my kids. But what if the friend Okay, I
hear what you're saying. But do you ever think, I mean,
you're fully honest with yourself. The friend might have very
strong feelings for you. Yeah, and that that is valid.
And we does he date? Sorry, just start, Michelle. Does
he date outside of this situation? He has not yet.
(48:50):
He is on dating apps. He's looking around. We talk
about it, like sometimes when I go over there, we'll
look at the matches and I'll help him like craft
messages and you will be you won't be jealous when
he is with somebody else. No, And we've had I
check in with him, probably annoyingly frequently and make sure
like we're all good, like whatever you want on that end,
(49:11):
like you just have to let me know, you know,
I will do this as long as everyone is comfortable
and having a good time. If you feel like you
need more out of a relationship, like an actual relationship
where you can you know, foster something long term, get married,
what have you. Yeah, just tell me, yeah, because you
(49:32):
don't want him, especially if he's your friend getting stuck
in a situation where he's like, all right, here's my conundrum.
I love Michelle, but she's never gonna be mine because
we've established the parameters. But I don't care. I'm obsessed
with her. Maybe one day she'll change your mind. So
I'm not going to go out and find my life partner.
That could happen, right, right, And like I have told
(49:54):
him that that please. I want Ultimately, I want everyone
in this situation to be happy and whatever that takes.
Like before we even started this, before anything happened, when
we had the initial discussion, like, hey, would you be
interested in this? Um? I told him, and we had
this discussion that you know, our friendship comes first, Like
(50:17):
that was his main concerns, Like, I don't want this
to negatively impact our friendship. Um. You know, the three
of us have been friends for a long time. We
lost touch for a few years, um, like right before
the pandemic, and then the pandemic kind of brought us
back into the fold. So that friendship bond is there.
We just have a little extra I gotta tell you, Michelle,
(50:40):
whatever it is, it's working for you because you definitely
look happy, you know what I mean, even from when
we saw you the first time. It's like a complete
glow up. I don't know if it's the hair, eyes,
whatever it is, but it's like a glow up so
you seem happy. So whatever, you, guys, I know, but
I'm destinely works for you. But Donald, I'm fascinated by
(51:01):
the fact that Michelle is pulling off this balancing act.
I know, well, she's juggling. She definitely is juggling a
lot of situation. Yeah man, yeah man. It's like what
do I want tonight? Bee for chicken? You know what
I'm saying. She's juggling it. It's nothing wrong with that.
(51:22):
I saw Neil Brennan did a show. Does a show
that I highly recommend you guys see at the Cherry
Lane Theater if you're in New York. It's incredible. But
he made some joke that was like, your wife wants
to have sex three or four times a week, just
not necessarily with you, and I thought that was funny.
(51:42):
And Michelle's living her best life like but um, but Joel,
what are your thoughts on this. You're a very progressive woman.
You yeah, what do you? I mean, how do you?
I'm speechless? Do you have any thoughts on this? What
really impresses me is Michelle's ability to communicate. I feel
like a lot of people when they view polyanry, they
think of like, oh nice, hold whole sex partners, and
(52:03):
it's like fun and wild. But for my friends who
are in polyama's relationships, the most difficult part is like
now I gotta juggle for people's emotions and figure out
how they all feel. Like I'm a friend who dates couples, right,
They're like, I don't want to be in a committed relationship,
but I'm looking for like the feelings of love without
having to fall in love. And I mean when you're
with a couple, like that's really messy. You're like working
(52:24):
with both of their needs and desires, but also they
come with their own like couple baggage, um, and so
it's hard, I think to have successful relationships like this.
I was going to say the same thing Joel, like
what happens when he does find another relationship? But you
guys still keep your relationship going and the other person
has to has to find their way into this and
(52:45):
y and we sell this whole fucking thing to Bravo.
That's what Zach, I promise you. This isn't new, this
is this happens all the time. No, I know, but
it's new to me. I even Joel using the proper
lingo polyamory relationships, it's new to me. I don't know.
Michelle is the first person I've ever spoken to who's
(53:07):
doing this successfully, um so, and I'm sure a lot
of our listeners all over the world are are are
are hearing about it for the first time. I mean
some and some are doing it successful. And some of
them are listening while they're fucking their their husband's best
friend they're right now, meaning like it's like us anyway. Sorry,
(53:43):
this is a side note, Michelle, if you don't mind
my digression. Joelle sent Donald and I a link for
someone who wants to advertise on our on our show.
And I don't want to say the product name because
I don't want to give them an ad before we decide,
but Joelle send the link to Daniels so he knows
what it is. Is a thing you put your penis
into and it blows. Is it blow? Air on it.
(54:06):
It's suction. It's suction and blowing. Yeah, it's like it's pressure.
It's air pressure. It's not a it's not a um
um if it's not a fake vagina. We've a silicon thing.
It's actually made women. It's men and women. No, No,
it's for the phallus Donald. I know, but no, they're
saying the same thing that they do. There's a suction
thing that they have for women now that they can
(54:27):
put on their clitterus. It's the same technology. But okay,
But Joel, I was shocked a but that you wanted
us to advertise this on the podcast and be that
I don't have one at my home to try. Say
we should at least try these things, Joel, I just
want you know the product like that, we have to
test it to seeing these things you must be. I
(54:50):
can't endorse you searched. I can't endorse the Dyson penis
sucker until I've tried it the five thousand until and
send anial one too, Joel, did you see it? Dale?
There's a whole video. I was like, I went to
their website because I was obviously curious, and I was like,
how are they going to do a demonstration video. They
(55:12):
clearly smartly smartly use animation, not real people. Um, but
it's just anything doesn't promote anything like Actually their advert
their ad campaign is that is would you don't you
ever wish you could have an orgasm on the scale
of a female orgasm? And this and this product says
(55:33):
that it will give the mail the explosive nature of
received product from We are not listen, if you work
for this company, we are not advertising for you until
we get UM samples. Yes for discussion. All right, I'm sorry, Michelle,
(55:57):
I just had to bring that up. To bring that up, Um, well, listen.
The good news is is that things are good and
nothing bad has happened, and you are living proof that
people can be in polyamorous relationships and be happy and
and it doesn't even have to be reciprocated in a
sense that your husband seems fine not having his own
(56:18):
UM situation. I wonder if I wonder if his best friend,
That's the thing. I wonder if his best friend, when
he does find a relationship because he is actively looking,
I wonder if he introduces Have you guys talked about
him introducing his relationship into this he hasn't gotten very
(56:40):
far in that that world. Um no, he's not going
on dates right right, He's he's you know, made some
matches and talked to a few people. But he has
told me he will be totally open with where he
is at in that process. And I am the kind
of person that if he starts going on dates, I'm
going to ask him where do you you know, do
(57:03):
you want to introduce this, Like do you want to
just you know, cut this off for a while, or
would you also want to make sure you're safe Because
if he's out there having sex with Randos, yes, but
also I mean another thing that's that's the state that's
obvious is he's having his sexual needs met. So that
(57:24):
hunger to go out and search for a mate is
probably lessons because he knows, he knows bi monthly. He's like,
not this week, but next week. And I when he
told me he had downloaded these dating apps, I'm like,
do you, like, do you want me to stop? Like
(57:46):
do you want to stop this and you know, just
start clean? Any His response was it feels good to
have that self confidence of being active even so here
here's like what you're talking about? Stop? I love his
very diplomatic answer. No, I don't feel that that would
(58:06):
be the best prescription. You want to stop what we
do it? Wait, hold on, now, you want to stop
the I was bullshit when I said I was looking
at the apps. I was serious. Um, all right, well,
I imagine we just came on for a catch us up, right.
(58:27):
You don't have unless you have any questions. No, she
can't have any questions. This woman's life is all figured out,
she's got it all going. Do you have to fix
your life? I don't. I just want to clarify one thing. Um,
we don't. We haven't labeled this like we are just
living this life. Um. But I think the term open
(58:48):
marriage is probably more appropriate than polyamory. Okay, okay, so
I don't know. We just go by Joel. She's our term.
That's anything though. We were very too as that. So listeners,
listeners who are also learning, there's a difference between polyamory
and just an open marriage, right and uh, I will
(59:11):
say people on the internet are not very nice. I
don't know if you know. You know what I know,
but you're but don't wait, they were they didn't they
didn't come find you, did they from our Okay, No,
no one has come and find found me. But I'm
we're using an alien for you, aren't you, aren't we? Yeah? Okay? Good? Oh.
I thought you were implying for a second that people
had found you from our show and we're being unkind.
(59:32):
I didn't like. No, you know, how did you mean it?
How did you like? In a comment section from when
the original episode posted, I well, you need to learn
now that you're in the now that you're in the
pretend public eye, you need to know to never read
a common section about yourself ever, ye lesson learned. Everybody.
(59:57):
Everybody has an opinion, man, everybody hasn't you know what?
If you're happy, easy to pass to cast judgment too.
It seems like you know what I mean. And if
you're happy and and and and and everyone's being honest,
then it's nobody else's business. You know. It's like Donald
and Casey and I we're talking about doing that stuff
fuck up, and we are kids experience. It's discussions. It's
(01:00:23):
in discussions. Sorry Joel's face probably all right, Michelle, thank
you for coming on. We always appreciate you. You're educating us, really,
and you're educating our our audience in in uh in
new ways of being for people that are out there.
You're not just limited to the stuff your parents grew
up with. You can do whatever the heck you want. Michelle.
(01:00:43):
We we have two favorite callers that call in. You
are one of them and the other one penis doctor. Yeah,
we need, we need. Do you know what I want
to have, Joelle? If you could coordinate this? Um, I'd
like to have the device that on your pen Yes,
Donald and I and then I and then I'd like
(01:01:04):
to have doctor Pean has come on and tell me
why I'm now having a female orgasm? Um. All right, guys,
that's our show. It was a short recap because, as
Donald explained to me, they're all recycled jokes. We love
you all very much, Michelle, thanks for coming on and
(01:01:25):
thanks for coming back on. Tell you guys. When we
set what's up? Tell your husband, we said hello, and
tell his best friend. We set what's up? Everybody, We
said hello, and we love you guys. Stories about show
we made about a bunch of nurses. Story sound here
(01:01:51):
are yeah an he
Hosts And Creators
Donald Faison
Zach Braff
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