March 1, 2022 • 49 mins
In this week's episode, Kelso builds a coffee shop in the hospital, and Turk worries about providing for his new family. In the real world, we're trying out a new surprise segment!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just got my list of people that are approved
to come to the Cheaper by the Dozen Premiere and
Donald Fazon, Casey Cobb and two children are on the
list for the Cheaper by the Dozen Premiere. Would you
look at that? Who are you gonna dress them kids up?
I want that? Can? Can? Can they be in like outfits?
(00:21):
Do you want Air Force ones? No? I know Wilder
is going to come in some beautiful dress, but I
was wondering if your son could rock a three piece
and a bow tie. I mean, I'll ask him. I
don't know if he's keen to walk a bow tie.
But he's not much of a a style kid, is he.
I mean, he's like a sports style. I know he
likes you know, back whatever. Some of these young kids,
(00:44):
they you know, some of these young kids, they get
into style early. Obviously Wilder a girl, but I mean
even young boys. No, I'm saying even young boys. Is
Rocco a kid like that? Does he like does he
like think about an outfit? I mean he thinks about
his snaps like that, like you know what I mean.
So if he has a nice pair of sneakers, he'll
(01:05):
rock them for a special game or you know, he
likes to keep its rocks mine yet or are they
still too big? Uh No, he's born them already. They're
a little big for him. But he tried, you know,
he tried to play in the space Jams. I got
in the space Jams, but I could only get him
a slightly too big. And Casey said, that's fine because
(01:26):
he's going like crazy. Yeah, he's nuts. It's nuts, man.
He's growing so fast and he loves basketball right now,
which is great for me because I get to live
out all my fantasies through my child. Which are you
gonna do? What you're gonna do? The Lebron route? And
and and try and make him like Brawny. I mean,
(01:48):
I don't know impressed that I know that the name Brownie.
I'm so I'm so confused right now, Like my brain
is like, what the fuck just happened here? Um wait
a second, Well, how do you know about Lebron James?
I saw in the news that Lebron announced he was
not going to retire until he played at least one
season with his son Brawny. And and that's how I
(02:11):
know the name Browny. That's a lot of pressure on
that kid. Now, that kid better make the league. Is
he he must be good? Is he good? Oh, he's
he's fabulous. The kid Kimball. He plays for Sierra Canyon,
which is a school out here in California. It's a
high school number. Yeah, they're like the number six or
something school like that in the nation. I'm not sure
if Lebron junior is a senior or a junior. But
(02:34):
then kick cam ball. Now he's like six three, which
is great, you know. Um, and he's a legit six three.
That's the other thing. So a lot of people were
sixty three and they weren't really six three. He's a
legit six three, which he went and measured. I went
and measured. No, it's just that No. Uh, they're trying
to get brought my tape right now. We have to
(02:58):
make sure. But he I mean, he's dunking on kids already.
We'll see, we'll see how it plays out. Anyway. Back
to my original point. Oh wait, but one more thing
before we move on basketball related DeMar de Rosen, I
owe you an apology. I said you were in the
twilight of your career when we had Chase saying that
(03:20):
you needn't Yeah, sure, good, And I was I've never
been more wrong in my life. DeMar Derozen, you are
straight up balling, yo balling on another level. And DeMar
Derosen played for the Toronto Raptors for the longest. He's
a kid from California, and then he went to San Antonio,
(03:43):
where I guess they didn't use him correctly. I don't
know what it is, but it looked like his career
was over. You know, Kawhi Leonard went to Toronto and
won a championship there. Kawhi Leonard also won a championship
in San Antonio, and so it looked like wherever Damar was,
it wasn't really popping for him. He wasn't, you know,
(04:05):
at least from the outside. I was wrong because this
boy is bowling out of control right now. Not only
he's an MVP candidate. He's an MVP candidate. He's definitely
the most improved player of the year. But you can't
you can't say that because he's an MVP candidate. Now
he's got the Chicago Bulls on the verge of going
(04:28):
deep in the playoffs. It's a crapshoot in the you know,
let's be honest, Milwaukee's for real Milwaukee's for real. I mean,
and we'll see I'm bored. I'm bored. Nobody cares about
your boardingness right now. DEMARDA Rosen, I'm sorry, all right,
DeMar de Rosen, We're sorry. Um. Another basketball thing you'll
be impressed that I know is a coach punched another
(04:50):
coach in the face. Juwan Howard punched another punched a
coach in the face. Yet, now, I'm assuming you're not
allowed to do that. Is that correct? I don't. I
don't know any league where other than fighting where it's no,
not even in fighting, where a coach is allowed to
punch another coach in the face. So what did they
do to him? Is he he suspended? I assume yeah,
(05:11):
he suspended for the season. Are they gonna fire him?
I hope not. He's a good coach. I mean, I'm
gonna be honest with you. There are some coaches out there,
and you know who you are. You deserve to get
punched in the face. Not that this man did, Not
that this man did. Did he come out, did it
come out? What was said? I don't know. But there's
some coaches. I'm just wondering when you're watching that show. No, no,
(05:39):
no center, the place for sports when you're when you're
watching that. Did they did they um? As you do daily?
I believe did they do? They do? They say what
was said? Sometimes I don't know what was said. I
would love to find out what was said, because it
would be great if it was something like, man, that's
why your momas like shit and then m was like
(06:01):
fuck you um. According to the Chicago Tribune, the altercation
began in the postgame handshake line when Guard grabbed Howard
by the arm in an attempt to explain why he
called the time out. Howard yell, don't expletive touch me
and put his right index finger in Guard's face as
the two began to argue, that's not what happened. Then
(06:25):
there was a scrum, but there was a big one
crum and then he reached over reached a yes from
which isn't really fair fighting, right, Donald. I don't know
fighting rules, but you don't want to sneak attack from
around someone, right, I mean, look, let's keep it one hundred.
(06:50):
I mean, when's he gonna get another chance to hit
that dude? Though? Anyway, that's the extent of my my
my sports knowledge. This week, it was a bad day
for sports. Uh when that happened, that was a bad
look on for Juwan Howard and it was a bad
look for Michigan. I don't think anybody watched the Winter Olympics.
I read that too. That was just true. I mean,
(07:10):
I don't want to say anything bad about anything. No, No,
we did nothing about the athletes. We we we know
how hard they work. But I just just just as
a TV ratings thing, I read that nobody really watched it.
There was a lot of controversy involved with this Olympics,
you know, a lot of it, and uh, this time
the country hosting the Olympics didn't help really with uh. Yeah,
(07:34):
because they caught a Russian am I correct, they caught
a Russian gymnast, Danial. I feel like you're gonna know this.
They caught a Russian gymnast doping, and then they didn't
eliminate her. Yeah she was an ice skater, and yeah
they did. They the Chinese were in charge of deciding that,
I believe. So yeah, I don't know. I don't know
that the IOC committee. All I'm saying is China had
(07:57):
held this Olympics and put everybody in a bubble and
nobody got to see outside of the bubble. They could
look out of the hotel and see people walking around
in the street. That was as far as they could
get out of. Another doping scandal involved a horse, not
in the Winter Games, but the horse that won. I
believe the derby is dead. I don't know how this unfolded,
(08:20):
but the horse that won the last derby, Please double
check my facts here. They found out I don't know
if it was post mortem or what, but that in
fact had been doped, and so they had to take
the two million dollars back from the winner and give
it to the second place person. But it didn't affect
anyone who won and the best, because that would have
(08:44):
been a debacle. But the weird thing is this very
famous horse guy who's in charge and obviously knew about
doping this horse. The fine is like forty grand or something.
The guy's a zillionaire. Yeah, I mean, don't bet horses.
(09:06):
I don't know. I just think that it's a shame
that people cheat. I hate I hate line cutters. You
hate line cutters? Yeah, you know when you're like in
line in traffic and then those people that skip and
then they try and nudge in, you know, on Laurel
Canyon Boulevard up at the top by Mulholland they cut
(09:27):
everybody and then they try and edge in those people.
I look at it as I look at it as
just aggressive driving. Oh you're a line cutter? Are you
a line cutter? When it comes to traffic. I think
everybody on this conversation who has ever driven a car
is a line cutter. No, you're on crack, dude. You
drive a very fast car, very fast card. You know.
(09:51):
There are times when I will be like, oh fuck,
that's my exit, and I'll wave to the person and
be like, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you're
all in line the eggs. Of course I've done that,
But I'm talking about people who strategically speed up in
the other lane. And then did you drive when you
lived in New York? Did you drive when you lived
(10:11):
in New York? Doesn't count In New York's a free
for all. I'm talking about normal places. When you come
out to la with that New York mentality, it really
does get you far. I'm gonna keep it one hundred
with you. If you've got that New York cab driver mentality,
or you drive a big truck around Manhattan, yeah, or
these streets out here in California. If you bring that
(10:34):
mentality to these streets, it's like grant that auto out
this piece. Man, you got the skills. It's like it's
like the Transformers movie. Hugh got the touch. What about
the people that do the chatting? Cut on? Like you
got the power when you're online as a human being,
not with your car and people cut Oh, oh, well
(10:56):
that's that's the that's that that's fistfighting territory right there,
like keeping one hundred if you got look you don't
have any armor around you or anything. If you have
the nerve to be like yo, excuse me and step
people do somebody? Did you ever see the thing there
was a curb your enthusiasm called the chat and cut.
That's when you start, hey, Timmy, and then you're step
(11:17):
in line with Then you're in line with Timmy. I'm
a hook I'm a hook off one. You dog, don't
do that shit in front of me. Let's get into
the show. Everybody five six about show we made about
a bunch of doctor nurses stories. Never so yeadoo around
(11:42):
you here, yeadoo around here, What is going on in
season six? This is a weird ass season. I don't
think it's found it's footing. Well, I knew it was
gonna be a weird episode. Well, I knew it was
going to be a weird episode when JD knocked it
(12:03):
out of the park in bed with his girlfriend. I
knew right then and there I was like, that doesn't
Why is Jad not in I think we've established that
JD is good in bed, he's a good lover. Yeah,
I think we look at the women he must be doing.
He's not the handsomest guy in the world. He must
be doing well with somehow. Look what he did to
(12:24):
Elliott during the pizza episode. She she couldn't prove that's
that is true? That is true? So attracts Then j
D knocking out of the park in bed with sex
tracks Right now, I just don't think I'm just finding
a weird Are you not feeling a weird Joel? Are
(12:44):
you feeling a weirdness? And season season five is so hot,
it's weird that it's not translating so far. But we
do have some pretty iconic episodes coming up, so maybe
it was just a slow start. I think this was weird.
There's a lot of jokes in it that just didn't land,
(13:05):
is what it's? What's going on? Well, I last a
few times and they were all Todd related. Yeah, Todd,
Todd whispering like he's the ghost of dope. That's the
funniest joke in the whole show. You just ruined it
that she Judy's Todd. Where is Todd hiding under the
bed and he and she thinks about formula and he
(13:29):
goes formula is bad for the baby breast milks up healthier. Well,
not only hiding in the room somewhere, not only trying
to see her Teddy. When when ted is uh slurping
on his suckling, sucking his uh smoothie through a straw,
and then Todd comes running it in and says, I
heard slurping, I heard suckling. I heard suckling. Yeah, I
(13:52):
heard suckling. That shit had me rolling too well. The
movie the show opens with us having good uh, and
then Todd wants to us, no, that would be a
better episode. The show opens with Elizabeth Banks character Kim,
and we established we have a good sex life even
though we're she's already pregnant and we got pregnant with
(14:16):
as we established last week, with the penis never going
into the vagina, the seamen landed on the Laby Majora.
I want to remind anyone that I would like a
Labia Minora for Hanka if that's something that is made
on Etsy. Um, now, it's funny. I think I remember
(14:42):
Coffee Bux was still being built. That's the reason why
it's not been been It wasn't introduced until what what
what episode is this three years three? Yeah? So I
remember it was still under construction. It's finally done. Um,
obviously a Starbucks knockoff, a Starbucks and Coffee being I
think Bill was obviously clearly looking for just a new
(15:04):
set for for stuff to go down in and shake
it up a little bit season. From what I understood,
he knew that Kelso would have to retire soon and
he needed a place for Kelso to still be a
part of the hospital. Oh really, what you think it
was that far back in the thinking. I thought it
was just like, we need a new set for these
(15:25):
people to hang out in. No, because we don't. I
mean we do hang out in it, but it really
becomes Kelso's office at this point when we after this
season when we want to establish anything with Kelso it's
at the coffee Bucks. This is a less ask Bill questions.
He may be too busy. He's too busy. He's down
in Florida with Vince Vaughn. All right, but he's shooting
(15:47):
the new um his new show called Bad Monkey starring
Vince Vaughn. Nice. Mickhead is on the back of the line. Yeah.
And because he's at the back of the line, it's
so far back that it's in front of another offee Bucks.
And he turns around and goes, oh, wow, another one. Well,
I don't know if this is still the case, but
at the height of the Starbucks insanity, you could literally,
(16:08):
like if you were in Manhattan, you could stand on
a corner and see like three of them. It was
the stupidest thing. So I think this was sort of
making fun of that. Were you excited when you saw
Darth Vader? I didn't understand why Darth Vader was online,
but he was there. There's no other reason to stand
online usually other than a Star Wars movie. Oh is
that the last time? Is that why he said? Did
you get tickets? Yeah? I didn't understand the joke when's
(16:31):
the last time you stood online for anything? Are there
like a movie? When's the last time you did that?
It's been a long time. I'm trying to think. I
want to stand online for things you never stood talking
about line cutters. No, I wouldn't. I would. We live
in la here, back in the day, in New York,
back in the Jersey. Not really, no, I was not really. Wow. Yeah,
(16:58):
but but what other than a movie? Do you? Is
there anything in the world other than Disney World food conventions.
I feel like we're on family feud again. Yeah, oh,
Joel and conventions? Are they gonna do Comic Con in person?
So I'm sure they'll be back this year. Are you
gonna go? It's too soon. I can It's candy b
(17:20):
crowds right now. It gives me so much anxiety. By
the way, speaking of geeky nerdy things, I'm sending you
a book Sideshow Collectibles. I love them. I love sec
Man Yo, Sideshow shout out Sideshow because they actually do.
They say they'll send us stuff and then they actually do.
I love my gifts from Sideshow Collectibles, but I do
(17:42):
not need the books that take apart the superhero figures
and discuss them. But I got that book and I
was like, Joe, Well, is gonna which hero? It's great,
It's it's great coffee. No, it's like a bunch of them.
It's like, it's like you got you got it right.
It's like, yeah, it's a it's the anthology of all
of their action figures that they ever made. Stuff. It's
(18:05):
great coffee table stuff. It's great. It's a coffee. You're
gonna love it. I promptly gave it to my assistant
and said, give this to Joel. We have a whole
give this to Joel Pile. It's anything related to super
(18:26):
geeky stuff that I'm not into it. No, I mean,
you know, you know superhero world all, you know, the
kind of woman, the kind of woman who's watching Clone
Wars in the background during the podcast, that kind of thing.
So Cabbage is back and he's, um, he does an
ape impression. I don't know where that came from. I
(18:48):
guess maybe he showed Bill that he could do an
ape impression. Yeah, which was out of left field. But hey,
oh it's pretty good. You're gonna hate me, I thought,
but I didn't. That's okay. We had the backup Um, everybody,
I'm sorry. Um, I just fucked up. I thought I
hit record on my personal recorder, but I didn't, so
(19:11):
my audio will now instantly sound better. Donald was rolling, Oh, always,
can we talk? So you've never fucked up? Listen, don't
try And all of a sudden, I'm trying to get
some empathy from you. I'm trying to get some mother
fucking empathy from you. Stop deflecting. Turn the deflector shield.
I thought I hit record. I'm so pissed to myself.
(19:34):
I want to have I want to have a moment
of silence for me being an idiot. Zach was totally
the emperor just now. I'm afraid the deflector shields will
be quite operational when I fuck up my recording. I
fucked up my recording, so I don't even if the
(19:54):
audience can tell that I sound better now, but they
probably can't. Danil is it is it? Is it that
I hope it's noticeable because we put all this time
and having these good mics and ship. Oh, it's it'll be.
It'll be noticeable. Okay, okay, So what the fuck Kim
is not getting promoted because she insulted the head of
department's wife after playing we did you guys played Heart
(20:19):
and Soul and she played with her head. Yes, And
it turns out that his wife recently had her thumbs
bitten off by dragon that they own. Yeah, that's still there.
At the house party that we're at, they have a
pet komodo dragon. Now do you know what this is about? Right?
Just Bill wanting to see a weird animal. Remember Sharon
(20:42):
Stone had her husband almost lost a leg to a
pet komodo dragon that they owned or something. Really, Joel
look it up to Google, Joel, I thought it was
the relating to the fact that Bill just loved his
ability to order whacking. Thank you. Joel's face explains it
(21:02):
all to the Google. Joel, your eyes seem to imply
that Donald's right, it's real. I'm trying to get specific.
So like the Google. Do you remember when the TV
show Batman when they would go to the Bad Cave
and Shakespeare's head and the bookshelf would open. I was
when I was a kid. I thought that was the
coolest they I'd ever seen, that the secret bookshelf would
(21:25):
open when you press the button and then you slide down. Yeah,
and then when you slid down, you were in your outfit,
and what the fuck happens on that pole? Who wouldn't
you love to see a good question when you love
to see like someone should do an animation of like,
what the fuck is happening? It's like, how is that
(21:45):
going down? Is there a platform where they pause and
change with the locker no no, and then finished it
and then finish it? Okay, Joel? What happened? They went
to the Lazo and got a private like celebrity tour,
and when he was in the Komodo dragon's cage, it
bit down on his foot and he lost his foot.
(22:09):
He's all right, He's apparently he was barefoot though at
the time. Why did he get barefoot into Komodo cage?
Don't know. The zoo people said that they thought the
wizard might have confused his foot for the white rats.
He eats o god biography, all right, all right? Now?
(22:41):
Sometimes wants to reach around with his coffee. Does hear that?
He says, he does, I get a reach around with
my beverage. That's surprising to get a hand job joke
into a Network primetime show in two thousand and six.
I was very shocked. The sensor probably didn't know what
it meant. I mean, everybody, if OZ had already come
(23:04):
out at this point, everybody knew what to reach around
is at this point. I guess if you're a sensor,
you need to study all the latest euphemisms. Yeah, you
know what, sensor missed everything? The motherfucker had missed all
skeet skeet, skeet, skeet, from fucking from the window to
the wall, missed the whole thing, from the sweat drip
down my balls all skeet, skeet, skeet. That's right, this
(23:31):
is NBC Prime Time. That shit made it on everything.
It was on the Super Bowl. Skeet, skeet, skeet. All right,
let's not go into that. Okay, Calm now, um, somebody
needs to switch to decaf? And who are you and
what have you done with? Turk? We're making fun of
like the classic, like overused sitcom jokes. Yes, do you remember?
(23:58):
Can you think of a good classic old sitcom joke?
Who are you and what have you done with? Blank?
Is like the most that's the most tropy stereotypical one
that and you know what, you hear a lot? Wait
what wait? What that's a classic that's in everything everything.
Everybody doesn't wait what everybody? Yeah, I can't think of
(24:21):
any off the top of my head. But but but but
these are definitely two very overused examples. Um the brain
Trust took off their shoesak because they want dental. Yeah,
because they want dental. Now, this is really the brain
(24:41):
the brain. Well, Troy's missing obviously, I don't know why
Troy's not around, but Margo's Troy probably tried to renegotiate, like,
I need more money. Troy's like, if you want the
full Troy, I'm gonna need more money in season six
and Bill was like, it was a nice meeting, you try,
(25:02):
but crazy eyes. Margo's back and she's the only one
who had a child, but she sold the child, which
is never which is never addressed again. And then they
all mind taking out a tooth except for Bobby our
Dolly grip. That's if we remind you, that's the that's
Bobby Forrester um n right, whose character truly pulls out
(25:27):
a tooth. Yes, what a weird fucking show. Yeah, dude, Yeah,
they just want dental. Yeah, Rudy, did you really pull
out your tooth? Yeah? Now, Donald back Alley money now
I didn't know this was I mean, once it's explained
(25:47):
in the show, it of course makes sense that it's taboo.
But um, you're concerned. Turk is concerned that Carla might
not go back to work, and so he instantly starts
trying to get that back alley money. Well, I mean,
let's get up in one hundred. Everybody hustles, no matter what,
you know what I mean, and in time of need,
some people, you know, if it's not hurting anybody, some
(26:10):
people feel like hustling on the other side of the
law can sometimes be very lucrative. My question for Turkeys,
what's he gonna do with that money? Like, he got
to pay taxes, you know what I mean at some
point on it, not if it's in twenty dollars increments,
but he has to put it in a bank and
stuff like that. How are you gonna claim all of that? Yeah?
Put the Why is he gonna put his twenty dollars
he got from the fucking guy into the bank? Oh
(26:34):
look at your new headphones, Daniel, you came through like that. Yeah.
Oh they're the same brand, they're just a newer model. Sure. Oh, Daniel,
you gave him the newer model. You know, he needed
a full upgrade as well. Have the four forties because
I have the four forties. I think you have the
(26:54):
four donald What do they say on the on the side,
what number? Oh they don't they just say oh because
right now the shore four forty A oh man, I'm
gonna need those, Danil, I'll get some ship read over
to you. So I'm just saying, like, you know, Turkey
(27:16):
is trying to put that money to good use, and
he's taken twenty dollars here, five dollars there from people
and he's been doing it for a minute ever since
Carla said she doesn't think she'd ever go back to work. Now.
I did laugh when I went out. We we could
go to the cotton candy man and I and I
I have scruples about it. I'm not sure. But he
(27:37):
shows me his rash, which is disgusting because it's just
it's not very good looking rash. It looks like it's bad,
and I say, it's probably just eggzema one blue please yes, Like, well,
then how you start up? Oh wait, is that blue?
Just put it in? Just put a fresh which is
(28:01):
a stupid because cotton candy doesn't have any Does cotton
canny have any different taste depending on never tasted cotton
candy that's tasted that has no It tastes like like whatever,
it's just sugar that's been spun up in that weird way.
And then it has colors. Yes, is that blue? It
smells like a fish vedge of blue. Just put it in.
(28:25):
I can smell it. I can. You know, for somebody
who thought this wasn't the best episode in the world,
you laughed a lot. Huh Well, I'm laughing and recounting
it with you because I love you and you cheer
me up and make me laugh. But I watched this
being like, oh, season six, what are you right? And
Joel's right, I think when you come off five, which
(28:47):
I think I think is might be the winner for
best season of all, we'll determine that we know we
know nines not, so we've got seven and eight and
six seven. It ain't to see if any anything beats five.
But I don't know. Maybe I'm just judging it harshly,
but it doesn't. But also, you know, it's a rough start.
(29:08):
I'm gonna be honest with you, This one had so
many jokes in it. I thought some of them fell flat.
But when we talk about them now, they're so funny.
We established that Kelsel really loves the muffins and he
samples them and then returns them. Yes, he's uh. Doesn't
American Express have that thing that you can do? Now?
(29:29):
What do you mean sample a muffin? American Express has
something where you can buy something and if you don't
like it, you can return it and get your money back,
no matter what you buy or where you buy. Really, Daniel,
what's he talking about? I do not know? Well too, yep.
(29:54):
Everything has a lot of things have a return, but
I always realized that no one who does that like
usually the putting it back in the box and dealing
with returning it pain. You have not met my wife.
My wife buys so much stuff online and oh my god,
I get so many emails from places your return has
(30:16):
gone through, like she because has no problem returning ship
well with clothes and women in clothes especially. Oh no,
it doesn't have to be closed. It could be a baby.
See Joel, am I wrong? Joel's face? Did it again? Well,
it could be like a baby's car seat. My wife
would be like, you know what, we used it, but
I'm gonna return this ship. See if it has a policy,
(30:36):
I love it. American Express will let you. If you
try to return an item within ninety days and the
store doesn't take it back, American Express will refund you
the full price, up to three hundred dollars per item,
excluding shipping and handling charges, and up to a maximum
of a thousand dollars per card member account. Wow, so
you can go buy some weemen some weeks an ad.
(31:00):
But that's a pretty dope policy. If you go buy
some weed. No, I don't can weed applies? Donald, Okay,
you could return to ashes and be like I smoked
it the ashes. I smoked it and I didn't get
that high. That would be a funny hidden camera prank
um to go back to a weed shop with the ashes.
(31:22):
I didn't like this. I didn't like it didn't for me. Yeah,
it didn't fulfill its promise. You said it had thirty
one grahams the THHC in it. I felt twenty five.
We're gonna go to break and when we come back,
we're gonna talk about how the janitor puts some schnops
(31:42):
in his lattes. He'll be right back for you. Bad
I got a funny idea for the end of the show.
Joelle has just informed us that our guest had to bail,
and I'm gonna I'm gonna try and FaceTime. We'll play
game called FaceTime. Someone Random from Scrubs ell yeah, and
(32:05):
I'll and I'll put I'll put the mic up to
my mic. I'll put the speaker up to my mic.
That'll be our game. Dolls, Do you like that? No,
I don't like that game. We're not. I'm not going
to tell you who I'm facetiming. Random will be a surprise.
I don't want to play that game. We're playing, so sorry.
They're not gonna stay on long. They'll stay on for
thirty seconds and say, Hi, I think the fans would
(32:27):
like that. Fans? Would you like that? Fans? No, fans.
I want you to really speak to your device and
say whether you'd like that. Oh, I heard an overwhelming yes, Joel,
I heard, don't do it. You're asking for it, but okay,
here we go. Hey, is that is Catcher Kircher from
Full House? Is that the same dude from Aladdin, the
(32:49):
one that played DJ's boyfriend. I don't know. There's no
idea what you're talking about, so okay, hold on the
voice Ladden, who was also DJ's boyfriend from Full House.
Is it the same dude that's playing the kiss ass
doctor for the person who has the private practice private practice?
I don't believe so, but they do look similar. His
(33:13):
name is Scott Weinger. I'm looking to see you if
he has a scrubs credit. Well, Donald, why did I
you're correct, you're a thousand correct? Wow, he is absolutely right. Wow,
out of me. I can show you sing shining Well,
(33:35):
Brad Kane did the singing part. Oh, he was just
the voice. He did the voice. Brad Kane did the singing.
I know this because I went to high school with
Brad Kane. I always think that's weird. You know, it's funny.
It's less weird um with animation. But back in the
day in the musicals, somebody else would sing the songs. Well,
(33:57):
Zac Efron in the first high school music. Cool, that's
not him singing. But he sings from afterwards. But that's
not him, not one. You've just destroyed my high school reality.
What is happening? I didn't know that either. Wow. Wow,
he sings in two and three but not in one.
I think um actually in your favorite movie in canto,
(34:18):
I think there's some people that are the voice but
not the singer man in canto. My man, I gotta
tell you something right now, I knowing we don't talk
about Bruno all day long. It is hire, dude, like
it just is. Oh, it was my wedding. It was
our wedding day. We were getting married, wedding a clouding,
(34:41):
no cloud in the sky. Well, it's gonna be the
first person to double egot, right, I agree with you.
I'm putting I mean like, I mean, like if anybody,
like everyone thought after Hamilton's like, wow, holy shit, lin Manuel,
Holy shit, lin Manuel. He crushed it. You know whatn't achievement.
Let's move on to the next topic. And Lynn Manuel
(35:02):
was like, no, I'm just kids started. Yeah, this is
the beginning, Like, dude, for real, man, he could like,
if you would have put odds on it, I think
he has the best odds to double egot right now. Yeah,
I think he'll be the first person to double egot. Joel,
write that down on your on your white board, noted.
That's I mean, like, who else can come close to that?
Who else can get the Grammy the Tony the Emmy
(35:28):
and the Oscar and the Oscar and he hath the
way if she really puts her mind to it, she
got to do a lot of more work. She gotta
do a lot more work. She gotta do a lot more.
Lin Manuel Lynn Manuel can do it all. Lin Manuel
can win three like in one shot, you know what
I mean, from one show. That's the thing. Like he
could do the Hamilton, whatever the play is. But Linn
(35:48):
has more access because he's a writer, so he could
he could get some of those awards for his writing
and his songwriting, right, but his projects could win like
three in a row. Like like if he does a movie,
the movie could win, the soundtrack could win, and you know, uh,
and then the adaptation for I don't know if they
(36:09):
do that for TV, but like, you know, the making
of it could win for television. Like it's ridiculous, dude.
Two of the best things I saw this year, which
were Tick Tick Boom, which he directed, and in Cancer,
which he wrote all the music. I mean, what a
fucking year this guy has had. Dude. He's it's like
I go through waves too, Like I'm like I love him,
(36:29):
then I'm like I hate him. Then I'm like, I
love him. Then I'm like, there's too much of them.
Then I'm like, that's the thing about when someone's on
fire for so long, you start to be like, oh God,
enough interviews. But then you're like, fucking hell, you can't
deny the talent. He's just a fucking genius. Yes, he's amazing.
Now I read an article because I know you're very
impassioned about why they didn't submit to the oscars as
(36:54):
their choice we don't talk about Bruno. What was the article?
The articles said that they had to choose long before
we don't talk about Bruno became like the number one
song in the country, and so they chose and because
that was specifically about a character, they chose a song
that was about the whole family. And I think they
chose that song that's that's that tells the story of
(37:15):
the family. I believe it just says something about how
good of a song it is when it's not about
you know, love, it's not about it's not about heartache,
it's not about you know, uh, losing someone. It's about
some weird dude named Bruno that the family can't talk about.
You don't even care about the you know what I mean.
It's they're talking about a wedding. They're talking about this
(37:38):
seven foot dude that has rats on his back. They're
talking about this dude that this one girl. Like he's
a pro, he's a he's a he's a prophet. Also
like these are you're not really so much into the lyrics.
You're in the melody. The lyrics are dope too. That's
what I'm trying to say. It's like, it's it's it's
it's just a well you know, if you were an
(37:59):
Arkitech and you had to create a song, and you
had to build a song, it's just well made. Like
everything fits from the beginning to the end. Every line fits.
It's just well done, well done. All right, all right,
let's move on the scrubs. Um smokeacino for Kyle Um.
The janitor quits, the whole brain trust quits and gets
(38:21):
jobs at at the coffee Bucks Cali Bucks because they
learned that coffee Bucks has dental but the hospital doesn't,
so um they want they want their dental really badly.
Here's here's a crazy thing. Corene Bailey Ray, Yes, yeah,
do you remember Karee Bailey. I go put your records
(38:45):
it's been so long that that now is remade. That's
how long it's been since that song was out. There's
a newer version of it that slaps even harder than
the original version slaps. Let me go to Urban dictionary.
Um donald um. That's in reference to how Starbucks used
(39:09):
to put out for those of you who are young.
I don't know if they still do this anymore, but
they used to put out CDs. They still do that.
They still have soundtracks. Yes, okay, I don't go to Starbucks.
I don't know. You don't go to Starbucks. I would
choose any other coffee chain. I just don't like Starbucks.
And here here in New York, in LA that we
(39:30):
have something called Blue Bottle, which is the best. I
think I'm gonna take something very good coffee. I like
Starbucks so much now that I used to hate it,
because I really it's Charbucks. They burn their coffee. Yeah,
it tastes burned to me. You come to acchoir that taste,
I wish. No. I never liked it. I never liked
I never liked. It feels so corporate, and it feels
(39:52):
so um. The energy of people in there, it feels
like an assembly line like human, move forward, get your drug.
I just like the home, the whole vibe. I don't
like um. If there's a blue bottle in your in
your area, check it out. It's really good. They're not
a sponsor. I just love it and telling you it's good. Shit.
(40:14):
So Doug has no ethics whatsoever, none whatsoever. Steal them
guy's money, he steals his shirt. Yeah, yeah, no ethics whatsoever.
Now scrubs Wicky pointed out that if that larger gentleman
had been shot, there would be blood somewhere on the shirt, right,
But there isn't. No, there's not, and that would make
(40:36):
Doug even And by the way, we have no compassion
that none, that he gets shot. None. We're just happy.
We're just happy that you're not caught. You didn't get
caught out there. We make some joke about the corn
dog guy and how they always had beef and it
must have been him that shot him, but we really
move on from his his his bloody demise pretty quickly. Yeah.
(40:59):
I laughed at the janitor's muffin puppet. First of all,
I was glad that it was a puppet because I
was like, thank you, Because now Kelso's having fantasies of
a talking muffin. I was like, oh no, what the
fuck is happening. He did a good job though, I
mean not only the janitor get a job like and
then become the manager right away, but he's also drilling
(41:22):
holes in the in the in the in the case
in order to operate muffin puppets. I mean, he's really
um so. The kid, the little boy, takes the smoke Pacino,
which is the janitors, and mentioned it is because it's
the most addictive thing because it's tobacco and coffee. Kids.
He says that kid's never gonna grow. Now, Donald, this
(41:49):
is something that really upset me. You hooked up with
Jad's college girlfriend and you said you were only naked
under the covers because you guys had a water balloon
fight and you were cold. And he looked everywhere and
that's that was funny. I'm like everywhere. I just couldn't
find those balloons. The great part was the callback was
(42:12):
after all of that, all of the talk that we
go through, and you're like, is there anything else that
you want? No? But JD trust Turks so much that
he believes such a ridiculous story that he goes looking
for the balloons. Yeah, still he's still like he's still
there's still that little bit of doubt that, well, maybe
there are balloons. But no, wait, was this? Was this
something that we filmed because there was a thing where
(42:33):
you were in bed with my girlfriend? But was it?
But do you remember, like remember that episode where we
did we both had different versions of us of how
it went down. And then I was doing your voice
and you were doing my voice. Do you remember that?
Has that aired yet? I don't remember? Yes, you do, No,
I don't. That's that's hilarious. Imagine we've already covered it.
(42:57):
Imagine we've covered it already. I have no idea the
fans listening. Probably no, But there's a I think he
was earlier. But there's a flashback and I catch you
in bed with one of my girlfriends, and and and
I do and I'm telling my version. It's like a
Rascheman thing where I'm telling my version of the story
and doing your voice and you're like, that's not how
(43:20):
it went down. And then you tell your version of
the story and you're doing my voice in this nerdy voice.
I don't remember this. Maybe it's this season. I don't know,
but anyway, it sounds a lot like this water balloon
incident everywhere. Now finally the janitor gets his dental. Why
did everyone leave their coffee cups all over the parking lot?
(43:40):
I didn't understand that was really because nobody was cleaning up.
I know, but I mean it was pretty extreme. It's
as though every single person that worked or visited the
hospital through their coffee cup in the parking lot. Yeah,
not a single person used the trash. The trash there
(44:00):
were thousands. If there were thousands of cups, the trash
cans were overflown. Yes, So I'm kind of into Kim,
you know, JD's finally into somebody. And that's when I knew.
Right when that happened, I was like, Oh, this ain't
gonna happen. It can't happen. That isn't Ladies and gentlemen.
That is a tall tale sign in television when the
(44:21):
relationship is about to end, when the main character says
this is the relationship. I want guess what that relationship
is about to end? Yeah, in every show name it,
that's how it goes. All Right, we're gonna come right
back and after this break, we're gonna try a quick
(44:42):
round of a FaceTime Roulette because we lost our guests
and we were sorry everybody, but we're gonna play a
Scrubs FaceTime roulette and see who we get. We'll be
right back, and we're back. We're about all right. This
may be a total embarrassing failure, but let's try, right
(45:04):
why not? There we go see, let's see what happens.
They don't like us. It is the middle of the day.
They may be working facetimes from close friends. What the fuck? There?
He is? Uh? Sir? Are you willing to be the
(45:27):
very first contestant on FaceTime Roulette on the podcast? Yes?
Right now, Yes, you're on right now. I'm here at
the Compass office in Santa Monica, California. Okay, do you
have a client right now? No, I have an associate
(45:50):
with me. Okay, let's see your associate. You can show her.
I can't see you're on the podcast. I'd like to
see the associate. High associate. Hi, Jenny, Rob We're trying
an exercise because we lost our guests in and and
and so I told our fans, our listeners, we're going
to try a new exercise called FaceTime Roulette. And you
(46:13):
and you won, I won. Do you have anything? We
were we're laughing In the episode that we just watched. You, Um,
you told you were very infatuated with Judy Newly breastfeeding
and uh yeah, and you were hidden underneath the bed
as she was breastfeeding and she was considering formula and
you said, don't switch to formula. I said, um, A
(46:38):
formula is bad for the baby. Milk is better. That's
the same episode where I think I heard, well, how
do you I mean, how do you remember over that you?
I mean, remember we didn't. We did nine years of these.
They're all punch lines. That's why I remember the punch line.
(46:58):
They're all you guys do the scene, and I come
in and do the punchline. So that's why I remember. No, Rob,
we had a couple of punch lines, Rob, Rob, I
think it's safe to say that we had a handful
of punchlines. But you do Are you selling lots of houses?
How's it going? The real estate market is on fire
right now. You can't get a house. Yeah, it's a
(47:21):
great place to live, Santa Monica. If anybody's looking for
a home, call me, because I'm very hooked in right now.
Jenny and I and we're doing big deals as we
as we speak. Okay, well, well just look up Rob
Mashio or the Compass A do you work out of Compass? No,
I don't at the moment. It's Mashio real Estates dot Com.
There you go, there's your shout out. But Rob, I
(47:42):
do want to tell you this real estate market is
out of control. I don't know if in the whole
country or is it just California. I don't think it's
the whole country. I think it's desirable places to live.
And west of the four or five. Here in Los
Angeles it's really nice, right it's the sun is out,
it's beautiful. It's not west of the four or five.
I'm looking for my parents who were moving down and
(48:05):
I'm trying to help them find a place. An You
can't find anything in Sino. You can't find anything. And
look in sin if Sherman Oaks, Los Angeles. You're talking
over Donald because you can't hear him. But he's saying no,
but you can't hear him. This is all spontaneous. But
Donald is saying Sherman Oaks, Studio, city, valley, village, all
of these are you in s everything is going so
(48:27):
much over asking price. I know this is an interesting
to your audience. I'm sorry, but they might be looking
to buy in California. Tell Donald, I say hello, and
I miss him and I miss you too, and I
want to play basketball with Donald. Donald can't play anymore,
but he can play tennis and golf. Are you interested
in either of those? No? Okay, all right, Rob, thank
(48:49):
you for being on FaceTime Roulette. We love you. Do
anything anything you want to say to the fans. The
Todd's prescription for everything, ladies and gentlemen is always less moan,
more boning. Okay, aren't you in a work? I want
nothing to do with this. I apologize to the Compass
real estate company. Rob Robbie's saying that in the middle
(49:14):
of an office. Did he say less money, more bony,
less moaning, more boning, more boning. I don't know what
he said, but that still works. Oh sounds great. Okay,
all right, we love you guys, um and um. We'll
be back next time with another fun episode of season six.
Donald count us out about show we made about a
(49:36):
bunch of doctor nurses. Never so yea around here? Are yeah?
Around here? Mm hmmm?
I just got my list of people that are approved
to come to the Cheaper by the Dozen Premiere and
Donald Fazon, Casey Cobb and two children are on the
list for the Cheaper by the Dozen Premiere. Would you
look at that? Who are you gonna dress them kids up?
I want that? Can? Can? Can they be in like outfits?
(00:21):
Do you want Air Force ones? No? I know Wilder
is going to come in some beautiful dress, but I
was wondering if your son could rock a three piece
and a bow tie. I mean, I'll ask him. I
don't know if he's keen to walk a bow tie.
But he's not much of a a style kid, is he.
I mean, he's like a sports style. I know he
likes you know, back whatever. Some of these young kids,
(00:44):
they you know, some of these young kids, they get
into style early. Obviously Wilder a girl, but I mean
even young boys. No, I'm saying even young boys. Is
Rocco a kid like that? Does he like does he
like think about an outfit? I mean he thinks about
his snaps like that, like you know what I mean.
So if he has a nice pair of sneakers, he'll
(01:05):
rock them for a special game or you know, he
likes to keep its rocks mine yet or are they
still too big? Uh No, he's born them already. They're
a little big for him. But he tried, you know,
he tried to play in the space Jams. I got
in the space Jams, but I could only get him
a slightly too big. And Casey said, that's fine because
(01:26):
he's going like crazy. Yeah, he's nuts. It's nuts, man.
He's growing so fast and he loves basketball right now,
which is great for me because I get to live
out all my fantasies through my child. Which are you
gonna do? What you're gonna do? The Lebron route? And
and and try and make him like Brawny. I mean,
(01:48):
I don't know impressed that I know that the name Brownie.
I'm so I'm so confused right now, Like my brain
is like, what the fuck just happened here? Um wait
a second, Well, how do you know about Lebron James?
I saw in the news that Lebron announced he was
not going to retire until he played at least one
season with his son Brawny. And and that's how I
(02:11):
know the name Browny. That's a lot of pressure on
that kid. Now, that kid better make the league. Is
he he must be good? Is he good? Oh, he's
he's fabulous. The kid Kimball. He plays for Sierra Canyon,
which is a school out here in California. It's a
high school number. Yeah, they're like the number six or
something school like that in the nation. I'm not sure
if Lebron junior is a senior or a junior. But
(02:34):
then kick cam ball. Now he's like six three, which
is great, you know. Um, and he's a legit six three.
That's the other thing. So a lot of people were
sixty three and they weren't really six three. He's a
legit six three, which he went and measured. I went
and measured. No, it's just that No. Uh, they're trying
to get brought my tape right now. We have to
(02:58):
make sure. But he I mean, he's dunking on kids already.
We'll see, we'll see how it plays out. Anyway. Back
to my original point. Oh wait, but one more thing
before we move on basketball related DeMar de Rosen, I
owe you an apology. I said you were in the
twilight of your career when we had Chase saying that
(03:20):
you needn't Yeah, sure, good, And I was I've never
been more wrong in my life. DeMar Derozen, you are
straight up balling, yo balling on another level. And DeMar
Derosen played for the Toronto Raptors for the longest. He's
a kid from California, and then he went to San Antonio,
(03:43):
where I guess they didn't use him correctly. I don't
know what it is, but it looked like his career
was over. You know, Kawhi Leonard went to Toronto and
won a championship there. Kawhi Leonard also won a championship
in San Antonio, and so it looked like wherever Damar was,
it wasn't really popping for him. He wasn't, you know,
(04:05):
at least from the outside. I was wrong because this
boy is bowling out of control right now. Not only
he's an MVP candidate. He's an MVP candidate. He's definitely
the most improved player of the year. But you can't
you can't say that because he's an MVP candidate. Now
he's got the Chicago Bulls on the verge of going
(04:28):
deep in the playoffs. It's a crapshoot in the you know,
let's be honest, Milwaukee's for real Milwaukee's for real. I mean,
and we'll see I'm bored. I'm bored. Nobody cares about
your boardingness right now. DEMARDA Rosen, I'm sorry, all right,
DeMar de Rosen, We're sorry. Um. Another basketball thing you'll
be impressed that I know is a coach punched another
(04:50):
coach in the face. Juwan Howard punched another punched a
coach in the face. Yet, now, I'm assuming you're not
allowed to do that. Is that correct? I don't. I
don't know any league where other than fighting where it's no,
not even in fighting, where a coach is allowed to
punch another coach in the face. So what did they
do to him? Is he he suspended? I assume yeah,
(05:11):
he suspended for the season. Are they gonna fire him?
I hope not. He's a good coach. I mean, I'm
gonna be honest with you. There are some coaches out there,
and you know who you are. You deserve to get
punched in the face. Not that this man did, Not
that this man did. Did he come out, did it
come out? What was said? I don't know. But there's
some coaches. I'm just wondering when you're watching that show. No, no,
(05:39):
no center, the place for sports when you're when you're
watching that. Did they did they um? As you do daily?
I believe did they do? They do? They say what
was said? Sometimes I don't know what was said. I
would love to find out what was said, because it
would be great if it was something like, man, that's
why your momas like shit and then m was like
(06:01):
fuck you um. According to the Chicago Tribune, the altercation
began in the postgame handshake line when Guard grabbed Howard
by the arm in an attempt to explain why he
called the time out. Howard yell, don't expletive touch me
and put his right index finger in Guard's face as
the two began to argue, that's not what happened. Then
(06:25):
there was a scrum, but there was a big one
crum and then he reached over reached a yes from
which isn't really fair fighting, right, Donald. I don't know
fighting rules, but you don't want to sneak attack from
around someone, right, I mean, look, let's keep it one hundred.
(06:50):
I mean, when's he gonna get another chance to hit
that dude? Though? Anyway, that's the extent of my my
my sports knowledge. This week, it was a bad day
for sports. Uh when that happened, that was a bad
look on for Juwan Howard and it was a bad
look for Michigan. I don't think anybody watched the Winter Olympics.
I read that too. That was just true. I mean,
(07:10):
I don't want to say anything bad about anything. No, No,
we did nothing about the athletes. We we we know
how hard they work. But I just just just as
a TV ratings thing, I read that nobody really watched it.
There was a lot of controversy involved with this Olympics,
you know, a lot of it, and uh, this time
the country hosting the Olympics didn't help really with uh. Yeah,
(07:34):
because they caught a Russian am I correct, they caught
a Russian gymnast, Danial. I feel like you're gonna know this.
They caught a Russian gymnast doping, and then they didn't
eliminate her. Yeah she was an ice skater, and yeah
they did. They the Chinese were in charge of deciding that,
I believe. So yeah, I don't know. I don't know
that the IOC committee. All I'm saying is China had
(07:57):
held this Olympics and put everybody in a bubble and
nobody got to see outside of the bubble. They could
look out of the hotel and see people walking around
in the street. That was as far as they could
get out of. Another doping scandal involved a horse, not
in the Winter Games, but the horse that won. I
believe the derby is dead. I don't know how this unfolded,
(08:20):
but the horse that won the last derby, Please double
check my facts here. They found out I don't know
if it was post mortem or what, but that in
fact had been doped, and so they had to take
the two million dollars back from the winner and give
it to the second place person. But it didn't affect
anyone who won and the best, because that would have
(08:44):
been a debacle. But the weird thing is this very
famous horse guy who's in charge and obviously knew about
doping this horse. The fine is like forty grand or something.
The guy's a zillionaire. Yeah, I mean, don't bet horses.
(09:06):
I don't know. I just think that it's a shame
that people cheat. I hate I hate line cutters. You
hate line cutters? Yeah, you know when you're like in
line in traffic and then those people that skip and
then they try and nudge in, you know, on Laurel
Canyon Boulevard up at the top by Mulholland they cut
(09:27):
everybody and then they try and edge in those people.
I look at it as I look at it as
just aggressive driving. Oh you're a line cutter? Are you
a line cutter? When it comes to traffic. I think
everybody on this conversation who has ever driven a car
is a line cutter. No, you're on crack, dude. You
drive a very fast car, very fast card. You know.
(09:51):
There are times when I will be like, oh fuck,
that's my exit, and I'll wave to the person and
be like, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you're
all in line the eggs. Of course I've done that,
But I'm talking about people who strategically speed up in
the other lane. And then did you drive when you
lived in New York? Did you drive when you lived
(10:11):
in New York? Doesn't count In New York's a free
for all. I'm talking about normal places. When you come
out to la with that New York mentality, it really
does get you far. I'm gonna keep it one hundred
with you. If you've got that New York cab driver mentality,
or you drive a big truck around Manhattan, yeah, or
these streets out here in California. If you bring that
(10:34):
mentality to these streets, it's like grant that auto out
this piece. Man, you got the skills. It's like it's
like the Transformers movie. Hugh got the touch. What about
the people that do the chatting? Cut on? Like you
got the power when you're online as a human being,
not with your car and people cut Oh, oh, well
(10:56):
that's that's the that's that that's fistfighting territory right there,
like keeping one hundred if you got look you don't
have any armor around you or anything. If you have
the nerve to be like yo, excuse me and step
people do somebody? Did you ever see the thing there
was a curb your enthusiasm called the chat and cut.
That's when you start, hey, Timmy, and then you're step
(11:17):
in line with Then you're in line with Timmy. I'm
a hook I'm a hook off one. You dog, don't
do that shit in front of me. Let's get into
the show. Everybody five six about show we made about
a bunch of doctor nurses stories. Never so yeadoo around
(11:42):
you here, yeadoo around here, What is going on in
season six? This is a weird ass season. I don't
think it's found it's footing. Well, I knew it was
gonna be a weird episode. Well, I knew it was
going to be a weird episode when JD knocked it
(12:03):
out of the park in bed with his girlfriend. I
knew right then and there I was like, that doesn't
Why is Jad not in I think we've established that
JD is good in bed, he's a good lover. Yeah,
I think we look at the women he must be doing.
He's not the handsomest guy in the world. He must
be doing well with somehow. Look what he did to
(12:24):
Elliott during the pizza episode. She she couldn't prove that's
that is true? That is true? So attracts Then j
D knocking out of the park in bed with sex
tracks Right now, I just don't think I'm just finding
a weird Are you not feeling a weird Joel? Are
(12:44):
you feeling a weirdness? And season season five is so hot,
it's weird that it's not translating so far. But we
do have some pretty iconic episodes coming up, so maybe
it was just a slow start. I think this was weird.
There's a lot of jokes in it that just didn't land,
(13:05):
is what it's? What's going on? Well, I last a
few times and they were all Todd related. Yeah, Todd,
Todd whispering like he's the ghost of dope. That's the
funniest joke in the whole show. You just ruined it
that she Judy's Todd. Where is Todd hiding under the
bed and he and she thinks about formula and he
(13:29):
goes formula is bad for the baby breast milks up healthier. Well,
not only hiding in the room somewhere, not only trying
to see her Teddy. When when ted is uh slurping
on his suckling, sucking his uh smoothie through a straw,
and then Todd comes running it in and says, I
heard slurping, I heard suckling. I heard suckling. Yeah, I
(13:52):
heard suckling. That shit had me rolling too well. The
movie the show opens with us having good uh, and
then Todd wants to us, no, that would be a
better episode. The show opens with Elizabeth Banks character Kim,
and we established we have a good sex life even
though we're she's already pregnant and we got pregnant with
(14:16):
as we established last week, with the penis never going
into the vagina, the seamen landed on the Laby Majora.
I want to remind anyone that I would like a
Labia Minora for Hanka if that's something that is made
on Etsy. Um, now, it's funny. I think I remember
(14:42):
Coffee Bux was still being built. That's the reason why
it's not been been It wasn't introduced until what what
what episode is this three years three? Yeah? So I
remember it was still under construction. It's finally done. Um,
obviously a Starbucks knockoff, a Starbucks and Coffee being I
think Bill was obviously clearly looking for just a new
(15:04):
set for for stuff to go down in and shake
it up a little bit season. From what I understood,
he knew that Kelso would have to retire soon and
he needed a place for Kelso to still be a
part of the hospital. Oh really, what you think it
was that far back in the thinking. I thought it
was just like, we need a new set for these
(15:25):
people to hang out in. No, because we don't. I
mean we do hang out in it, but it really
becomes Kelso's office at this point when we after this
season when we want to establish anything with Kelso it's
at the coffee Bucks. This is a less ask Bill questions.
He may be too busy. He's too busy. He's down
in Florida with Vince Vaughn. All right, but he's shooting
(15:47):
the new um his new show called Bad Monkey starring
Vince Vaughn. Nice. Mickhead is on the back of the line. Yeah.
And because he's at the back of the line, it's
so far back that it's in front of another offee Bucks.
And he turns around and goes, oh, wow, another one. Well,
I don't know if this is still the case, but
at the height of the Starbucks insanity, you could literally,
(16:08):
like if you were in Manhattan, you could stand on
a corner and see like three of them. It was
the stupidest thing. So I think this was sort of
making fun of that. Were you excited when you saw
Darth Vader? I didn't understand why Darth Vader was online,
but he was there. There's no other reason to stand
online usually other than a Star Wars movie. Oh is
that the last time? Is that why he said? Did
you get tickets? Yeah? I didn't understand the joke when's
(16:31):
the last time you stood online for anything? Are there
like a movie? When's the last time you did that?
It's been a long time. I'm trying to think. I
want to stand online for things you never stood talking
about line cutters. No, I wouldn't. I would. We live
in la here, back in the day, in New York,
back in the Jersey. Not really, no, I was not really. Wow. Yeah,
(16:58):
but but what other than a movie? Do you? Is
there anything in the world other than Disney World food conventions.
I feel like we're on family feud again. Yeah, oh,
Joel and conventions? Are they gonna do Comic Con in person?
So I'm sure they'll be back this year. Are you
gonna go? It's too soon. I can It's candy b
(17:20):
crowds right now. It gives me so much anxiety. By
the way, speaking of geeky nerdy things, I'm sending you
a book Sideshow Collectibles. I love them. I love sec
Man Yo, Sideshow shout out Sideshow because they actually do.
They say they'll send us stuff and then they actually do.
I love my gifts from Sideshow Collectibles, but I do
(17:42):
not need the books that take apart the superhero figures
and discuss them. But I got that book and I
was like, Joe, Well, is gonna which hero? It's great,
It's it's great coffee. No, it's like a bunch of them.
It's like, it's like you got you got it right.
It's like, yeah, it's a it's the anthology of all
of their action figures that they ever made. Stuff. It's
(18:05):
great coffee table stuff. It's great. It's a coffee. You're
gonna love it. I promptly gave it to my assistant
and said, give this to Joel. We have a whole
give this to Joel Pile. It's anything related to super
(18:26):
geeky stuff that I'm not into it. No, I mean,
you know, you know superhero world all, you know, the
kind of woman, the kind of woman who's watching Clone
Wars in the background during the podcast, that kind of thing.
So Cabbage is back and he's, um, he does an
ape impression. I don't know where that came from. I
(18:48):
guess maybe he showed Bill that he could do an
ape impression. Yeah, which was out of left field. But hey,
oh it's pretty good. You're gonna hate me, I thought,
but I didn't. That's okay. We had the backup Um, everybody,
I'm sorry. Um, I just fucked up. I thought I
hit record on my personal recorder, but I didn't, so
(19:11):
my audio will now instantly sound better. Donald was rolling, Oh, always,
can we talk? So you've never fucked up? Listen, don't
try And all of a sudden, I'm trying to get
some empathy from you. I'm trying to get some mother
fucking empathy from you. Stop deflecting. Turn the deflector shield.
I thought I hit record. I'm so pissed to myself.
(19:34):
I want to have I want to have a moment
of silence for me being an idiot. Zach was totally
the emperor just now. I'm afraid the deflector shields will
be quite operational when I fuck up my recording. I
fucked up my recording, so I don't even if the
(19:54):
audience can tell that I sound better now, but they
probably can't. Danil is it is it? Is it that
I hope it's noticeable because we put all this time
and having these good mics and ship. Oh, it's it'll be.
It'll be noticeable. Okay, okay, So what the fuck Kim
is not getting promoted because she insulted the head of
department's wife after playing we did you guys played Heart
(20:19):
and Soul and she played with her head. Yes, And
it turns out that his wife recently had her thumbs
bitten off by dragon that they own. Yeah, that's still there.
At the house party that we're at, they have a
pet komodo dragon. Now do you know what this is about? Right?
Just Bill wanting to see a weird animal. Remember Sharon
(20:42):
Stone had her husband almost lost a leg to a
pet komodo dragon that they owned or something. Really, Joel
look it up to Google, Joel, I thought it was
the relating to the fact that Bill just loved his
ability to order whacking. Thank you. Joel's face explains it
(21:02):
all to the Google. Joel, your eyes seem to imply
that Donald's right, it's real. I'm trying to get specific.
So like the Google. Do you remember when the TV
show Batman when they would go to the Bad Cave
and Shakespeare's head and the bookshelf would open. I was
when I was a kid. I thought that was the
coolest they I'd ever seen, that the secret bookshelf would
(21:25):
open when you press the button and then you slide down. Yeah,
and then when you slid down, you were in your outfit,
and what the fuck happens on that pole? Who wouldn't
you love to see a good question when you love
to see like someone should do an animation of like,
what the fuck is happening? It's like, how is that
(21:45):
going down? Is there a platform where they pause and
change with the locker no no, and then finished it
and then finish it? Okay, Joel? What happened? They went
to the Lazo and got a private like celebrity tour,
and when he was in the Komodo dragon's cage, it
bit down on his foot and he lost his foot.
(22:09):
He's all right, He's apparently he was barefoot though at
the time. Why did he get barefoot into Komodo cage?
Don't know. The zoo people said that they thought the
wizard might have confused his foot for the white rats.
He eats o god biography, all right, all right? Now?
(22:41):
Sometimes wants to reach around with his coffee. Does hear that?
He says, he does, I get a reach around with
my beverage. That's surprising to get a hand job joke
into a Network primetime show in two thousand and six.
I was very shocked. The sensor probably didn't know what
it meant. I mean, everybody, if OZ had already come
(23:04):
out at this point, everybody knew what to reach around
is at this point. I guess if you're a sensor,
you need to study all the latest euphemisms. Yeah, you
know what, sensor missed everything? The motherfucker had missed all
skeet skeet, skeet, skeet, from fucking from the window to
the wall, missed the whole thing, from the sweat drip
down my balls all skeet, skeet, skeet. That's right, this
(23:31):
is NBC Prime Time. That shit made it on everything.
It was on the Super Bowl. Skeet, skeet, skeet. All right,
let's not go into that. Okay, Calm now, um, somebody
needs to switch to decaf? And who are you and
what have you done with? Turk? We're making fun of
like the classic, like overused sitcom jokes. Yes, do you remember?
(23:58):
Can you think of a good classic old sitcom joke?
Who are you and what have you done with? Blank?
Is like the most that's the most tropy stereotypical one
that and you know what, you hear a lot? Wait
what wait? What that's a classic that's in everything everything.
Everybody doesn't wait what everybody? Yeah, I can't think of
(24:21):
any off the top of my head. But but but but
these are definitely two very overused examples. Um the brain
Trust took off their shoesak because they want dental. Yeah,
because they want dental. Now, this is really the brain
(24:41):
the brain. Well, Troy's missing obviously, I don't know why
Troy's not around, but Margo's Troy probably tried to renegotiate, like,
I need more money. Troy's like, if you want the
full Troy, I'm gonna need more money in season six
and Bill was like, it was a nice meeting, you try,
(25:02):
but crazy eyes. Margo's back and she's the only one
who had a child, but she sold the child, which
is never which is never addressed again. And then they
all mind taking out a tooth except for Bobby our
Dolly grip. That's if we remind you, that's the that's
Bobby Forrester um n right, whose character truly pulls out
(25:27):
a tooth. Yes, what a weird fucking show. Yeah, dude, Yeah,
they just want dental. Yeah, Rudy, did you really pull
out your tooth? Yeah? Now, Donald back Alley money now
I didn't know this was I mean, once it's explained
(25:47):
in the show, it of course makes sense that it's taboo.
But um, you're concerned. Turk is concerned that Carla might
not go back to work, and so he instantly starts
trying to get that back alley money. Well, I mean,
let's get up in one hundred. Everybody hustles, no matter what,
you know what I mean, and in time of need,
some people, you know, if it's not hurting anybody, some
(26:10):
people feel like hustling on the other side of the
law can sometimes be very lucrative. My question for Turkeys,
what's he gonna do with that money? Like, he got
to pay taxes, you know what I mean at some
point on it, not if it's in twenty dollars increments,
but he has to put it in a bank and
stuff like that. How are you gonna claim all of that? Yeah?
Put the Why is he gonna put his twenty dollars
he got from the fucking guy into the bank? Oh
(26:34):
look at your new headphones, Daniel, you came through like that. Yeah.
Oh they're the same brand, they're just a newer model. Sure. Oh, Daniel,
you gave him the newer model. You know, he needed
a full upgrade as well. Have the four forties because
I have the four forties. I think you have the
(26:54):
four donald What do they say on the on the side,
what number? Oh they don't they just say oh because
right now the shore four forty A oh man, I'm
gonna need those, Danil, I'll get some ship read over
to you. So I'm just saying, like, you know, Turkey
(27:16):
is trying to put that money to good use, and
he's taken twenty dollars here, five dollars there from people
and he's been doing it for a minute ever since
Carla said she doesn't think she'd ever go back to work. Now.
I did laugh when I went out. We we could
go to the cotton candy man and I and I
I have scruples about it. I'm not sure. But he
(27:37):
shows me his rash, which is disgusting because it's just
it's not very good looking rash. It looks like it's bad,
and I say, it's probably just eggzema one blue please yes, Like, well,
then how you start up? Oh wait, is that blue?
Just put it in? Just put a fresh which is
(28:01):
a stupid because cotton candy doesn't have any Does cotton
canny have any different taste depending on never tasted cotton
candy that's tasted that has no It tastes like like whatever,
it's just sugar that's been spun up in that weird way.
And then it has colors. Yes, is that blue? It
smells like a fish vedge of blue. Just put it in.
(28:25):
I can smell it. I can. You know, for somebody
who thought this wasn't the best episode in the world,
you laughed a lot. Huh Well, I'm laughing and recounting
it with you because I love you and you cheer
me up and make me laugh. But I watched this
being like, oh, season six, what are you right? And
Joel's right, I think when you come off five, which
(28:47):
I think I think is might be the winner for
best season of all, we'll determine that we know we
know nines not, so we've got seven and eight and
six seven. It ain't to see if any anything beats five.
But I don't know. Maybe I'm just judging it harshly,
but it doesn't. But also, you know, it's a rough start.
(29:08):
I'm gonna be honest with you, This one had so
many jokes in it. I thought some of them fell flat.
But when we talk about them now, they're so funny.
We established that Kelsel really loves the muffins and he
samples them and then returns them. Yes, he's uh. Doesn't
American Express have that thing that you can do? Now?
(29:29):
What do you mean sample a muffin? American Express has
something where you can buy something and if you don't
like it, you can return it and get your money back,
no matter what you buy or where you buy. Really, Daniel,
what's he talking about? I do not know? Well too, yep.
(29:54):
Everything has a lot of things have a return, but
I always realized that no one who does that like
usually the putting it back in the box and dealing
with returning it pain. You have not met my wife.
My wife buys so much stuff online and oh my god,
I get so many emails from places your return has
(30:16):
gone through, like she because has no problem returning ship
well with clothes and women in clothes especially. Oh no,
it doesn't have to be closed. It could be a baby.
See Joel, am I wrong? Joel's face? Did it again? Well,
it could be like a baby's car seat. My wife
would be like, you know what, we used it, but
I'm gonna return this ship. See if it has a policy,
(30:36):
I love it. American Express will let you. If you
try to return an item within ninety days and the
store doesn't take it back, American Express will refund you
the full price, up to three hundred dollars per item,
excluding shipping and handling charges, and up to a maximum
of a thousand dollars per card member account. Wow, so
you can go buy some weemen some weeks an ad.
(31:00):
But that's a pretty dope policy. If you go buy
some weed. No, I don't can weed applies? Donald, Okay,
you could return to ashes and be like I smoked
it the ashes. I smoked it and I didn't get
that high. That would be a funny hidden camera prank
um to go back to a weed shop with the ashes.
(31:22):
I didn't like this. I didn't like it didn't for me. Yeah,
it didn't fulfill its promise. You said it had thirty
one grahams the THHC in it. I felt twenty five.
We're gonna go to break and when we come back,
we're gonna talk about how the janitor puts some schnops
(31:42):
in his lattes. He'll be right back for you. Bad
I got a funny idea for the end of the show.
Joelle has just informed us that our guest had to bail,
and I'm gonna I'm gonna try and FaceTime. We'll play
game called FaceTime. Someone Random from Scrubs ell yeah, and
(32:05):
I'll and I'll put I'll put the mic up to
my mic. I'll put the speaker up to my mic.
That'll be our game. Dolls, Do you like that? No,
I don't like that game. We're not. I'm not going
to tell you who I'm facetiming. Random will be a surprise.
I don't want to play that game. We're playing, so sorry.
They're not gonna stay on long. They'll stay on for
thirty seconds and say, Hi, I think the fans would
(32:27):
like that. Fans? Would you like that? Fans? No, fans.
I want you to really speak to your device and
say whether you'd like that. Oh, I heard an overwhelming yes, Joel,
I heard, don't do it. You're asking for it, but okay,
here we go. Hey, is that is Catcher Kircher from
Full House? Is that the same dude from Aladdin, the
(32:49):
one that played DJ's boyfriend. I don't know. There's no
idea what you're talking about, so okay, hold on the
voice Ladden, who was also DJ's boyfriend from Full House.
Is it the same dude that's playing the kiss ass
doctor for the person who has the private practice private practice?
I don't believe so, but they do look similar. His
(33:13):
name is Scott Weinger. I'm looking to see you if
he has a scrubs credit. Well, Donald, why did I
you're correct, you're a thousand correct? Wow, he is absolutely right. Wow,
out of me. I can show you sing shining Well,
(33:35):
Brad Kane did the singing part. Oh, he was just
the voice. He did the voice. Brad Kane did the singing.
I know this because I went to high school with
Brad Kane. I always think that's weird. You know, it's funny.
It's less weird um with animation. But back in the
day in the musicals, somebody else would sing the songs. Well,
(33:57):
Zac Efron in the first high school music. Cool, that's
not him singing. But he sings from afterwards. But that's
not him, not one. You've just destroyed my high school reality.
What is happening? I didn't know that either. Wow. Wow,
he sings in two and three but not in one.
I think um actually in your favorite movie in canto,
(34:18):
I think there's some people that are the voice but
not the singer man in canto. My man, I gotta
tell you something right now, I knowing we don't talk
about Bruno all day long. It is hire, dude, like
it just is. Oh, it was my wedding. It was
our wedding day. We were getting married, wedding a clouding,
(34:41):
no cloud in the sky. Well, it's gonna be the
first person to double egot, right, I agree with you.
I'm putting I mean like, I mean, like if anybody,
like everyone thought after Hamilton's like, wow, holy shit, lin Manuel,
Holy shit, lin Manuel. He crushed it. You know whatn't achievement.
Let's move on to the next topic. And Lynn Manuel
(35:02):
was like, no, I'm just kids started. Yeah, this is
the beginning, Like, dude, for real, man, he could like,
if you would have put odds on it, I think
he has the best odds to double egot right now. Yeah,
I think he'll be the first person to double egot. Joel,
write that down on your on your white board, noted.
That's I mean, like, who else can come close to that?
Who else can get the Grammy the Tony the Emmy
(35:28):
and the Oscar and the Oscar and he hath the
way if she really puts her mind to it, she
got to do a lot of more work. She gotta
do a lot more work. She gotta do a lot more.
Lin Manuel Lynn Manuel can do it all. Lin Manuel
can win three like in one shot, you know what
I mean, from one show. That's the thing. Like he
could do the Hamilton, whatever the play is. But Linn
(35:48):
has more access because he's a writer, so he could
he could get some of those awards for his writing
and his songwriting, right, but his projects could win like
three in a row. Like like if he does a movie,
the movie could win, the soundtrack could win, and you know, uh,
and then the adaptation for I don't know if they
(36:09):
do that for TV, but like, you know, the making
of it could win for television. Like it's ridiculous, dude.
Two of the best things I saw this year, which
were Tick Tick Boom, which he directed, and in Cancer,
which he wrote all the music. I mean, what a
fucking year this guy has had. Dude. He's it's like
I go through waves too, Like I'm like I love him,
(36:29):
then I'm like I hate him. Then I'm like, I
love him. Then I'm like, there's too much of them.
Then I'm like, that's the thing about when someone's on
fire for so long, you start to be like, oh God,
enough interviews. But then you're like, fucking hell, you can't
deny the talent. He's just a fucking genius. Yes, he's amazing.
Now I read an article because I know you're very
impassioned about why they didn't submit to the oscars as
(36:54):
their choice we don't talk about Bruno. What was the article?
The articles said that they had to choose long before
we don't talk about Bruno became like the number one
song in the country, and so they chose and because
that was specifically about a character, they chose a song
that was about the whole family. And I think they
chose that song that's that's that tells the story of
(37:15):
the family. I believe it just says something about how
good of a song it is when it's not about
you know, love, it's not about it's not about heartache,
it's not about you know, uh, losing someone. It's about
some weird dude named Bruno that the family can't talk about.
You don't even care about the you know what I mean.
It's they're talking about a wedding. They're talking about this
(37:38):
seven foot dude that has rats on his back. They're
talking about this dude that this one girl. Like he's
a pro, he's a he's a he's a prophet. Also
like these are you're not really so much into the lyrics.
You're in the melody. The lyrics are dope too. That's
what I'm trying to say. It's like, it's it's it's
it's just a well you know, if you were an
(37:59):
Arkitech and you had to create a song, and you
had to build a song, it's just well made. Like
everything fits from the beginning to the end. Every line fits.
It's just well done, well done. All right, all right,
let's move on the scrubs. Um smokeacino for Kyle Um.
The janitor quits, the whole brain trust quits and gets
(38:21):
jobs at at the coffee Bucks Cali Bucks because they
learned that coffee Bucks has dental but the hospital doesn't,
so um they want they want their dental really badly.
Here's here's a crazy thing. Corene Bailey Ray, Yes, yeah,
do you remember Karee Bailey. I go put your records
(38:45):
it's been so long that that now is remade. That's
how long it's been since that song was out. There's
a newer version of it that slaps even harder than
the original version slaps. Let me go to Urban dictionary.
Um donald um. That's in reference to how Starbucks used
(39:09):
to put out for those of you who are young.
I don't know if they still do this anymore, but
they used to put out CDs. They still do that.
They still have soundtracks. Yes, okay, I don't go to Starbucks.
I don't know. You don't go to Starbucks. I would
choose any other coffee chain. I just don't like Starbucks.
And here here in New York, in LA that we
(39:30):
have something called Blue Bottle, which is the best. I
think I'm gonna take something very good coffee. I like
Starbucks so much now that I used to hate it,
because I really it's Charbucks. They burn their coffee. Yeah,
it tastes burned to me. You come to acchoir that taste,
I wish. No. I never liked it. I never liked
I never liked. It feels so corporate, and it feels
(39:52):
so um. The energy of people in there, it feels
like an assembly line like human, move forward, get your drug.
I just like the home, the whole vibe. I don't
like um. If there's a blue bottle in your in
your area, check it out. It's really good. They're not
a sponsor. I just love it and telling you it's good. Shit.
(40:14):
So Doug has no ethics whatsoever, none whatsoever. Steal them
guy's money, he steals his shirt. Yeah, yeah, no ethics whatsoever.
Now scrubs Wicky pointed out that if that larger gentleman
had been shot, there would be blood somewhere on the shirt, right,
But there isn't. No, there's not, and that would make
(40:36):
Doug even And by the way, we have no compassion
that none, that he gets shot. None. We're just happy.
We're just happy that you're not caught. You didn't get
caught out there. We make some joke about the corn
dog guy and how they always had beef and it
must have been him that shot him, but we really
move on from his his his bloody demise pretty quickly. Yeah.
(40:59):
I laughed at the janitor's muffin puppet. First of all,
I was glad that it was a puppet because I
was like, thank you, Because now Kelso's having fantasies of
a talking muffin. I was like, oh no, what the
fuck is happening. He did a good job though, I
mean not only the janitor get a job like and
then become the manager right away, but he's also drilling
(41:22):
holes in the in the in the in the case
in order to operate muffin puppets. I mean, he's really
um so. The kid, the little boy, takes the smoke Pacino,
which is the janitors, and mentioned it is because it's
the most addictive thing because it's tobacco and coffee. Kids.
He says that kid's never gonna grow. Now, Donald, this
(41:49):
is something that really upset me. You hooked up with
Jad's college girlfriend and you said you were only naked
under the covers because you guys had a water balloon
fight and you were cold. And he looked everywhere and
that's that was funny. I'm like everywhere. I just couldn't
find those balloons. The great part was the callback was
(42:12):
after all of that, all of the talk that we
go through, and you're like, is there anything else that
you want? No? But JD trust Turks so much that
he believes such a ridiculous story that he goes looking
for the balloons. Yeah, still he's still like he's still
there's still that little bit of doubt that, well, maybe
there are balloons. But no, wait, was this? Was this
something that we filmed because there was a thing where
(42:33):
you were in bed with my girlfriend? But was it?
But do you remember, like remember that episode where we
did we both had different versions of us of how
it went down. And then I was doing your voice
and you were doing my voice. Do you remember that?
Has that aired yet? I don't remember? Yes, you do, No,
I don't. That's that's hilarious. Imagine we've already covered it.
(42:57):
Imagine we've covered it already. I have no idea the
fans listening. Probably no, But there's a I think he
was earlier. But there's a flashback and I catch you
in bed with one of my girlfriends, and and and
I do and I'm telling my version. It's like a
Rascheman thing where I'm telling my version of the story
and doing your voice and you're like, that's not how
(43:20):
it went down. And then you tell your version of
the story and you're doing my voice in this nerdy voice.
I don't remember this. Maybe it's this season. I don't know,
but anyway, it sounds a lot like this water balloon
incident everywhere. Now finally the janitor gets his dental. Why
did everyone leave their coffee cups all over the parking lot?
(43:40):
I didn't understand that was really because nobody was cleaning up.
I know, but I mean it was pretty extreme. It's
as though every single person that worked or visited the
hospital through their coffee cup in the parking lot. Yeah,
not a single person used the trash. The trash there
(44:00):
were thousands. If there were thousands of cups, the trash
cans were overflown. Yes, So I'm kind of into Kim,
you know, JD's finally into somebody. And that's when I knew.
Right when that happened, I was like, Oh, this ain't
gonna happen. It can't happen. That isn't Ladies and gentlemen.
That is a tall tale sign in television when the
(44:21):
relationship is about to end, when the main character says
this is the relationship. I want guess what that relationship
is about to end? Yeah, in every show name it,
that's how it goes. All Right, we're gonna come right
back and after this break, we're gonna try a quick
(44:42):
round of a FaceTime Roulette because we lost our guests
and we were sorry everybody, but we're gonna play a
Scrubs FaceTime roulette and see who we get. We'll be
right back, and we're back. We're about all right. This
may be a total embarrassing failure, but let's try, right
(45:04):
why not? There we go see, let's see what happens.
They don't like us. It is the middle of the day.
They may be working facetimes from close friends. What the fuck? There?
He is? Uh? Sir? Are you willing to be the
(45:27):
very first contestant on FaceTime Roulette on the podcast? Yes?
Right now, Yes, you're on right now. I'm here at
the Compass office in Santa Monica, California. Okay, do you
have a client right now? No, I have an associate
(45:50):
with me. Okay, let's see your associate. You can show her.
I can't see you're on the podcast. I'd like to
see the associate. High associate. Hi, Jenny, Rob We're trying
an exercise because we lost our guests in and and
and so I told our fans, our listeners, we're going
to try a new exercise called FaceTime Roulette. And you
(46:13):
and you won, I won. Do you have anything? We
were we're laughing In the episode that we just watched. You, Um,
you told you were very infatuated with Judy Newly breastfeeding
and uh yeah, and you were hidden underneath the bed
as she was breastfeeding and she was considering formula and
you said, don't switch to formula. I said, um, A
(46:38):
formula is bad for the baby. Milk is better. That's
the same episode where I think I heard, well, how
do you I mean, how do you remember over that you?
I mean, remember we didn't. We did nine years of these.
They're all punch lines. That's why I remember the punch line.
(46:58):
They're all you guys do the scene, and I come
in and do the punchline. So that's why I remember. No, Rob,
we had a couple of punch lines, Rob, Rob, I
think it's safe to say that we had a handful
of punchlines. But you do Are you selling lots of houses?
How's it going? The real estate market is on fire
right now. You can't get a house. Yeah, it's a
(47:21):
great place to live, Santa Monica. If anybody's looking for
a home, call me, because I'm very hooked in right now.
Jenny and I and we're doing big deals as we
as we speak. Okay, well, well just look up Rob
Mashio or the Compass A do you work out of Compass? No,
I don't at the moment. It's Mashio real Estates dot Com.
There you go, there's your shout out. But Rob, I
(47:42):
do want to tell you this real estate market is
out of control. I don't know if in the whole
country or is it just California. I don't think it's
the whole country. I think it's desirable places to live.
And west of the four or five. Here in Los
Angeles it's really nice, right it's the sun is out,
it's beautiful. It's not west of the four or five.
I'm looking for my parents who were moving down and
(48:05):
I'm trying to help them find a place. An You
can't find anything in Sino. You can't find anything. And
look in sin if Sherman Oaks, Los Angeles. You're talking
over Donald because you can't hear him. But he's saying no,
but you can't hear him. This is all spontaneous. But
Donald is saying Sherman Oaks, Studio, city, valley, village, all
of these are you in s everything is going so
(48:27):
much over asking price. I know this is an interesting
to your audience. I'm sorry, but they might be looking
to buy in California. Tell Donald, I say hello, and
I miss him and I miss you too, and I
want to play basketball with Donald. Donald can't play anymore,
but he can play tennis and golf. Are you interested
in either of those? No? Okay, all right, Rob, thank
(48:49):
you for being on FaceTime Roulette. We love you. Do
anything anything you want to say to the fans. The
Todd's prescription for everything, ladies and gentlemen is always less moan,
more boning. Okay, aren't you in a work? I want
nothing to do with this. I apologize to the Compass
real estate company. Rob Robbie's saying that in the middle
(49:14):
of an office. Did he say less money, more bony,
less moaning, more boning, more boning. I don't know what
he said, but that still works. Oh sounds great. Okay,
all right, we love you guys, um and um. We'll
be back next time with another fun episode of season six.
Donald count us out about show we made about a
(49:36):
bunch of doctor nurses. Never so yea around here? Are yeah?
Around here? Mm hmmm?
Hosts And Creators
Donald Faison
Zach Braff
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