618: My Turf War

On this week's episode, JD feels threatened by Elliot's college roommate and tries to sabotage their relationship. In the real world, the guys get a fun surprise call from an old friend. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
I can see talk about it, talk about it. I'm hormonal,
supermon Oh maybe you're pregnant. Doubt it? Are you pregnant?
That's probably what it is. We need another one, another one,
another one. No, I'm just like the older you get,

(00:21):
the more hormonal you get, and it's like the pressing.
And then him's is all he wants me to do
is give them blow jobs all day. I know this
is the best reality show ever. I look at him,
I'm like, no, it's like it's like handmaids up in
this house right now. Really, you feel like a handmaid? Oh?

(00:41):
I got no. I feel like yeah, and I have
attitude and I'm pissed off and all and all Donald
does to help soothe you is say, can you blow me? Yeah?
He wants me to, And I'm like, no, I'm lucky.
I'm even sucking unloading the dishwasher at this point. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. It's a hard time to be a woman

(01:06):
right now. Yeah. Yes, he's got a lot of audacity,
that husband of your You know what else, y'all should
also think about this. Well, I'm talking to Joel, but
y'all should know this shit. So I even went to
Target yesterday to buy tampons. They don't even have tampons,
like we have a tampon shortage. There's a tampon shortage. Yea,

(01:27):
they am unable. I cannot as if shit isn't fucked
up enough. I know I heard that it's related daniel
Er Dwelling. We might know this to the mass producing
all the COVID products in a hurried way has has
affected the cotton um sourcing or something, and that's what's
affecting the tampon shortage. Is that. I would believe that.

(01:50):
I'm not if I heard that. I read that on
the interwebs, which means it's probably forty. I think it's
fucked up in the timing is just really not cool.
Ording to Goodhousekeeping dot com as of June twenty third,
twenty twenty two, so a few days about a week ago,
edge Well, manufacturer of tampon brands Platex and Obie, told
Good Housekeeping that has unfortunately experienced workforce shortages at its

(02:12):
production facilities in relation to COVID searches. The brand comes
that inventory has been negatively impacted as a result. I
literally was on the aisle yesterday and there was a
seventy year old woman looking at you know, pull up diapers.
And I looked at her and I was like, as
if we're not getting screwed enough already. She was like,

(02:34):
I know, honey, I know. Oh man, we can't even
get a tamp on anyway, but at least there's blow jobs.
Blow jobs will always fix that. He doesn't know what
a good wife he has. If only he knew, he doesn't.
I gotta go, sure up, hope, it's a baby, all right,

(02:55):
I know. I love you guys the most non sequar.
We'll give it to him to take care of I'll
take care of it. I'll totally take care of your baby.
Oh my god, that was a very fun show. Sounds
like a lot of fun things going on at your house.
We are. Well, I'm gonna say one thing. My wife

(03:18):
works very hard to keep our family going. Yeah, and uh,
and you know it's a job that she's given herself,
and and that it's not fair that that's what she's
you know, then tasked to do or feels like she's
been instant and asking for blowjobs. Has it occurred to

(03:38):
you to maybe, and this might be out of the box,
help her more. I mean how does that help me though?
Like I mean, I'm talking about how much I love
my wife, right, I gotta help more too, Yeah, also

(04:00):
need to maybe help her. By the way, I have
exciting news for everyone. Daniel, You're gonna be thrilled about this.
You're well Donald. I finally finally tasked my assistant with
figuring out how to get the new sound effects into
the sound machine. Za Zach, minds are easy, man, watch this,

(04:23):
gott guy. Yeah, well, mine took someone taking the time
to read the manual. Listen, everybody likes a little ass, don't.
Everybody likes a little ass flay, don't even act like
you don't. They're finally in the machine. Everybody. How exciting?
So wait, you tasked your assistant to do that for you? Yes,
because it involved reading the manual, a very thick manual,

(04:45):
and I was busy. Fuck your sound effects machine, Fuck
your sound got it labeled? I see you got it labeled? Huh.
Well he's so smart and good technically, he knew how
Let me get it. If you got a label, let
me get Okay, dude, shit is going down. I'm so excited.

(05:09):
This is you know. It took some figuring out. I
want to credit my assistant Mark, who's good at all things.
And here we go. Everybody likes a little ass play. Dude,
you got two. Everybody likes a little ass play. I
have three ass plays. That's the first one. Here's the
second one. Whether it be taking a poop, whether it
be a finger, whether it be a tongue, whether you know,

(05:31):
everybody likes a little ass flays. And then the third,
everybody likes little ass flay. Don't even act like you don't.
Perfect job. Thank you, Thank you to Mark for Mark
makes my sound effects machine look like shit. And I
can make my sound effects whenever I want. Yeah, but

(05:53):
yours aren't nearly as good as mine. And uh and
it's just been on my here's a machine guns. You're
an insult to Michael Winslow. Is that his name? Yeah,
you're an insult to Mike Winslow. Somewhere Mike Winslow is
listening and being like that sucks. Oh yeah, here's my
here's my mad dog. I'll give you that at Um, Hey,

(06:22):
what are you doing this weekend? Go throat? That's really cute.
Throat we missed. We played a really good song called
throat coat. Wow. I heard Daniel had to read some
some lines that yes, we missed you. How are you feeling?
You had quite a cold, so so much better. I

(06:44):
had COVID. Oh you had the COVID. I just cold
actual COVID because it was very brutal. I was stalking
you on instant and you look like you were hurting.
It was. It was oh man, my sinuses felt like
they want to bust out of my face. I couldn't
like sleep or rest because in so much pain. I
am much much much better now I've tested negative three days.

(07:06):
Do they know? Do they? Well? I mean, thank goodness,
you are negative now, I mean you can get out.
I beg you bad. Stuck to be in the house
for five days straight. So actually I was with my parents.
It was like closer to ten days, um, and it
was great because you know who your parents get to
baby you. So it's just like comm in my head

(07:28):
and you'd be like, I have more tailand all sweetie,
don't even worry, like he's so much. And then my
dad and I just watched movies in his theater all day.
So for being you have to be sick, it was
in the best ways possible. That's great. Well, We're happy
to have you back. The show is not the same
without you. I missed you, guys. We had to play
Throat Goat without you, and I'm really glad. I think
you would have I think you would have loved it.

(07:48):
The audience missed your, your, your, your, your commentary fuckman
was solid. Oh no, okay, I have a real question
to ask. I have a question to ask because that
song is a bop. It's fire. I would love to
play it U all the time, but you got to
really play it and only certain It's not really appropriate, right.
I was about to say, where is it appropriate to

(08:11):
play said song other than Cody's Ride? Yeah, okay, other
than Cody's Ride. You to put that on in the
car while your kids are in the car, don't know that.
I don't think that'll ever make I don't I don't
think that'll ever make the car playlist. Yes, that should
not be on the car playlist. But it is a bop.
It is a bop. So is Liquid Dreams. Not so much.

(08:36):
Not so much that one didn't hold the test of time.
No disrespect, No disrespect, Oh Town, no disrespect, Otown. You're
well you missed it. We did a whole We talked
about explicit songs and very talk about my neck, my back,
that one that the test of time, that is, oh

(08:58):
my gosh, I mean any song. Well they didn't get
away with it, but I think Window to the Wall
is probably the ultimate one, like out of all of
them because junior height dance. I'm saying so much, man,
so much. That was on the radio. Skeet skeet, skeet
was on the radio. Yeah from the window, Yeah yeah,

(09:22):
window to the drifts off my ball was on the radio.
What do you think it means? But what do you
think it means? What do you think it? Sound effects machine?
Does it mean ejaculation? What do you think it means that?
That's the way you're saying it makes me think it
has to do with ejaculation. Still all skeet skeet, skeet skeet.

(09:46):
How would I know that without looking at Is that
an urban dictionary? I look from the wind, I don't
know if I think skeet ski I think can you
look up? Sorry, Joel, you're back, Jael, Can you look up?
The urban dictionary definition should have skeet and skeet skeet.
Please know? I think we I think we I think
we established what it is. I just wanted to hear it.

(10:07):
They'll they'll phrase it in a dictionary like way, like verb.
Would you like to hear how ya? Now? Yes? The
phrase commonly used when a person is about to unload
jism onto their partner. Oh soism and that and that.

(10:29):
That makes me think that there are people out there that,
when they are going to unload jism say skeet as
it's happening. Oh, that'd be great, that'd be great if
that's when you bust life. If your battle cries sk
sk sk skate very alarming, or you try to whisp Britain,

(10:51):
be sexy with it, you try to say it romantically.
All right, all right, enough for that, please, I'm not
ready to give it up yet. I know it's nice
to see you. Are we doing anything for this weekend?

(11:13):
I have Do we have any plans to see each other?
I mean, I thought we were getting together. Man, I
want to make some ribs. I want to I don't
eat ribs, but you can make them. You don't eat
meat at all. I don't eat any meat. Now. See,
you're lucky that that plant based diet worked for you.
It didn't necessarily work that great for me. I'm not
I'm not a soul. I'm not entirely off fish. I

(11:36):
had eat fish. Um, I don't eat any animals that
aren't living in the sea. I'm sorry to my c
spiracy folks I have I have. I couldn't live without
just a little bit of fish. Well, you could have lived.
I could have lived. I could have lived. Yes, you're right,
there's plenty of people on a vegan diet who are

(11:56):
who are healthy. And I tried it, and I try
the I tried the full based diet you and I
wound up getting an ultrasound because it was giving me,
uh gut pains so well. I don't know if that's
related to your vegan diet. No, it was because once
I switched off of just eating all plants. Also eggs.

(12:17):
I love eggs. I could never be a full vegan. Eggs.
Eggs are good, divine eggs are important. Heart boiled egg
make your day. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Do you see
that picture Beyonce just posted exactly I'm on the tax

(12:38):
emails alerts for her Instagram wherever we are she has
she is looking at it right now. I mean I
know I'm going to say she has blossomed from Destiny's
child to now. Yes, it was, Joel, the Good Lord.

(13:01):
Of course, everybody, everybody zoomed. I had to make sure.
I was like, is that is that? Oh? Oh amazing, amazing,
so sexy and beautiful, but just strong and fierce. Man.
It's a holographic holographical Is that what you say? Holographic horse? Yeah,

(13:22):
it looks holographic plastic ea. I was trying to figure out,
like what we actually happening. It looks like a hologram
of a horse, right, Daniel, you're a hologram expert. Well,
a hologram technically would be like non physical, so she
couldn't sit on it. Well, she's beyond She can sit
on anything, you know. In that case, Ye, unicorn and

(13:45):
out of nowhere comes through a pocket. Okay, it's like
a thunder horse. Are you watching Atlanta Season three? Joel?
I'm not currently. I wanted to bend it and then
I haven't gotten it. Yeah, I'm too. I'm so frustrated
that nobody I know is watching this show. I'm sure

(14:06):
some listeners are, but it is so good. Donald Glover
is so talented and call him by his real name,
Lando Calrisin. I love that show. I just if you,
if you're if you're opening my suggestions, audience, you should
watch Atlanta and Seasons for you. It's been really really good,
can't Joel? You love TV? Joe, Well, we never we

(14:28):
never speaking of Star Wars, we've never caught up on Yeah,
a five second take because I don't want to boy
zach Um, holy crap, ye little Leah shit, that child
can act like, well, whoa, she's doing really good. Um.
And then no spoilers, but the surprise at the very
very end of the show amazing. I really like what

(14:52):
Moses did with her character too. Um. I know people
will show with it at first for different reasons. I
think the end result of that character thank everybody. Yeah,
if you're not satisfied with the way that ended, then
you got problems because that kind of look, I'm gonna
be honest, that kind of you cry. But hold on
a little bit a little bit. The ending kind of

(15:14):
leaked and you know, everybody was in uproar when they
heard what the ending was gonna be. But the way
it was executed, I think everybody it's kind of hard
not to be satisfied with the way that ended. You
know what I mean, another season, don't you guys? It
does seem like they because they I think they were
calling it like a short at first and then an experience.

(15:36):
This was supposed to be movie one, and I read
on the interwebs. I read on the interwebs, which is
always true, that um that this was going to be
a movie, and then when Han Solo tanked, they shied
away from it and um and made it a TV series.
I want everybody out there, listen, even though Han Solo tanked,

(15:57):
it's still a good Star Wars movie, man, And like,
for real, you need to call your friend Kathleen Kennedy
and tell her. I think I think she knows it too.
I think she's well aware of it. Well, she had.
She had a very tough time with that film. As
you recall, Donald, she fired our friends the directors. Yes,
no doubt, But I think we should stick to I

(16:17):
should I think we should stick to this format that
we got going right now, y'all, Like, let's stick to that.
The TV thing is working. Don't get crazy and put
out some bullshit because the fans are screaming for movies.
Movies movies. Keep the shows going. The weight is worth it,
don't straight away. Also, last thing, and this is the

(16:38):
last thing. Eat these balls, Zach. Well, No, I'm gonna
say one thing, and you guys could say I'm bugging
or whatever. Black Stormtrooper is very familiar in the Star
Wars universe. We saw it, and we saw that. We
saw that scenario. There's another thing that I'm a part
of that's very familiar in the Star Wars universe. Stupid buddy,

(17:04):
I'm probably gonna get everybody in trouble. We created uh
debt Bring your Daughter to Work Day, where Gary the Stormtrooper,
a Stormtrooper I play, brings his daughter to work on
two occasions. One when the blockade runners stopped by the
Death Star I mean by the Star Destroyer. Two when

(17:27):
the speeder containing our two three po Luke, Skywalker and
Obi Wan gets to the checkpoint and these aren't the
droids you're looking for. There's another part also with anyway,
this was years ago, right years ago, before any of
these shows came out. Bring your Daughter to Work Day
all of these shows motion sketch very popular, all of

(17:50):
these Star Wars shows. Obi Wan Bring your Daughter to
Work The Mandalorian, bring your daughter to work. All of
these stories are the exact same thing I'm just putting
out there. I'm just putting it out there. Damn me, wait,
hold on, let me throw then elbow on it too,
But just putting it out there. The format worked. You

(18:10):
know where it came from. Um. I think one thing
that's true is that they saw that. It's true they
saw the successive get your fucking sound effects machine going,
now eat these balls zactly, there we go. I think
it's definitely true that they saw the world go crazy
over baby Yoda, and now they were like baby Leah,

(18:33):
baby everything, Baby everything Baby, Yeah, baby baby baby Jabba,
I have a success watched they did that. They did
that already, they had Yeah and Clone Wars the original
original movie. That's not true. I'm saying, I knowing huge
all of these stories that you're watching right now are

(18:54):
coming from the Clone saying mainstream all of these stories.
I'm just saying, if you're like Obi Wan Kenobi, all
of this that you saw in that show came from
the Clone Wars, the cartoon I'm talking about. I know.
I'm just telling you that, unless you're a mega Star
Wars fan, no you don't have to be. You don't
have to be. All you have to do is all
you have to do is be raised when well the

(19:17):
Phantom Menace came out. That's it, all right, let's should
we talk about this TV show we made a long
time ago. I mean, we can't six seven eight stories
about show we made about a bunch of doctor nurses, said,
he's the stories. So yeada around you here, YadA around

(19:44):
you here. I don't remember this episode at all, um all.
It's called My Turf four. I remember because Carrie was
on it. Of course I remember Carrie Russell, the beautiful, full, hilarious,
very talented Kerry Russell um coming. And I remember Bill

(20:06):
directed this episode. I didn't remember that. That's why it's
so good, and I the best part of it. Should
we just dive into the best part? Is that the
whole sports thing? Is that an espn um fantasy? Yes,
Stuart scott Man, you know rest in peace man, that

(20:27):
was you know, that was a testament to how great
he was because he changed how we listen to sports.
What is that? Explain to those of us who don't
follow sports or watch sports, is always an exciting you
know when when you watch playback, there's always somebody doing
commentary that's got to be very exciting and make what
you're watching seem like it's, you know, amazing, because not

(20:51):
everybody likes baseball, not everybody likes football, not everybody likes basketball.
So you have somebody who you know, describes what's going on, right,
So this just remind people, Just remind me. In the Fantasy,
JD asked Turk about, Hey, tell me about Elliott's friends
played by Carry Russell, and he goes into this whole
ESPN sort of graphic thing. Kerry's body is spinning and

(21:14):
it's the ESPN music is playing. It's like he's giving
and Turk is giving the stats for what's going on,
and and I imagine they're you just copying the exact
graphics they would use on ESPN. Yeah, somewhat, it's somewhat
like that. But Stewart was the one that changed the
way it sounded. He was the one that was doing
stuff like boo yeah, or you know, that's cooler than

(21:35):
the other side of the pillow, Like he would say
some of the dopest euphemisms for sport, right anyway, So
that was a that was it was called Turk's booty breakdown, right,
and and I would like to I like to think
that that was our version of, you know, giving him
a shout out. That was really funny and clever. And
you know Bill watches ESPN UM every night, I think,

(22:00):
or all the time. He loves it. Um. Wimbledon's happening
right now, by the way, but it's happened so early.
I'm not getting up to watch Wimbledon. I guess we'll
wait till the finals or something, and maybe I'll get up.
You can watch all of this sopay, But is that
what you do? See? Bear? You know that's the easiest
way to watch it. I know, but I don't. I'm

(22:21):
not much of a sports watcher. Is it okay to
watch replays? Yeah? Of course? Why not? You know what
the story? Are you playing any sport right now? Um? No,
I would love to play tennis. I just don't know
when the gym. I'm just at the gym. I'm trying
to get skinny because I think I got a movie
coming up. If the stars align and I need to
be I want to be in good shape for it.

(22:42):
Are you gonna Is it an action movie? It's not
an action movie. I don't want to talk about it
yet because it's like ninety five percent happening, and I
will tell you about it when it's a hundy percent
and still be one two. I play young Jabba. Can
you imagine I'm getting ripped so I can be in

(23:03):
another suit, another puppet. No, I missed tennis, though, I'd
love to play with you. Let's go, But I meanway,
I'd really like to watch limb Wimbledon. I just see
the headlines. I saw that uh Serena that's out already. Yes,
it was shocking, Yeah, to like one hundred and ten
seated players. She's a grown up man. Y'all got to
remember she's a grown up and she's been through injuries,

(23:25):
and she's had babies all of that stuff. Man, she's
older than everybody she's playing against right now. But I
think they were shocked because she lost to like a
what was the seed? Like nothing? Man, She's you know,
you can't stop time. Time waits for no one. She's
like you on the on the basketball court, you've given up.

(23:47):
I don't think she gave up. She showed up to play. No,
I'm just saying, you say you've you've given up. Because
of your age, you can't play anymore. She's back in
the gym, man, she's keeping her one hundred. I'm back
in the gym. I don't know where they sent me,
shake me. I sent you mine, but that I didn't
even know. I love you. I don't know if me
and you can work out in the same gym. I
think that's weird working at the same time. I think

(24:09):
it's weird. Still comes in eight, Zach comes at seven.
Why does that weird? Who cares? Because I found another spot.
I'm going to it all right, Well, why don't you
say that instead of you don't want to work out
at the same gym as me. That's stupid. Me and
Carmelo Anthony will be friends alone. I love Carmelo Anthony too.
I didn't even know who it was, but he was

(24:29):
working out in my gym. You just knew it was
a tall guy. Huh um. I knew it was a
tall athlete. And then on my trainer's Instagram he posted
that it was Carmelo Anthony and I was like, oh,
that's who that was, That's what's up. And then I
tried to send it to Donald to be like, why
don't you come to my gym, look at cool people
like this guy and he didn't reply Anyway, I'm back
in the gym, man, I'm gonna try and get these

(24:51):
shots up to try and get back in shape. I'm trying. Look,
that's what's up. Listen. I feel like if I go
at it right now and I go hard, I feel
like if the NBA will have me at the All
Star Game, Oh yeah, I feel like I could. I
feel like I could make ye Why didn't you do that?

(25:12):
Why did you stop doing that? You were like one
of their favorites. Well, because then all of these other
famous people started coming out, like Chris Brown, Bieber, Kevin Hart,
and then so when that happens, you know, oh they
they if you're Donald Phazon and Kevin Hart wants to
play to get bench right things, Well, no, I don't
get benched. I get pushed out of the game. That's
just how it goes as celebrities come into play. Well,

(25:35):
it's hard to compete with Justin Bieber wanting to play.
I'm still playing. I'm sure I don't know if he
plays in those games. But freaking Kevin Hart, they were
tired his number from the from the thing I didn't remember.
Do you remember what, dude? He used to win MVP.
He wouldn't even have the best games, but he was
still win MVP just from being funny. Man, Like, I'm

(25:57):
not gonna he was petitive, very competitive. Dannel says, no,
he was fine, but he was Could you beat him
one on one? That's irrelevant whether I donald. Have you
ever played basketball with Rick Glassman the comedian, No, but
I hate's nice. He played with Lebron against Lebron in
high school. He says, I'm sure he got dunked on.

(26:19):
I'm sure he. I'm sure Lebron James came up down
the court and was like, I heard he's really good.
And um, I did his podcast and he told me
that he got kicked out of Bill's game for what
just smack talking. I guess, I don't know. I love
me some Rick Glass He's funny. He's very funny, very
funny guy. Um I did his podcast, and see and

(26:41):
see him on around if you see him, if he's
coming to your town doing stand up, he's got some
very very funny stand up. We should talk about this show. Yeah, man,
come on, you keep fucking getting off topic. Okay. The
only thing we've talked about me. Okay, go ahead, explain this,
explain it. Everybody likes a little ass play. Don't even

(27:02):
act like you know all right listening? So Elliott, speaking
of ass play, Keith wants to take Elliot's bum with
him on vacation. Yeah, that's cute, and Jad reveals that
Elliott a naked picture of Elliot's bum is still his
screen saver. Yes, Sarah and Elliott do have a nice

(27:22):
little bum so I can understand JD's rationale. Both bums
are spectacle. Yes, let's not lie. Both bumbs are nice.
We've seen them bopping down recently. We saw them grinding
on a flagpole in the show. Yes, very turfing for

(27:43):
those you don't know. I don't know if it's still
medical slang back and when we were doing the show,
it was still medical slang for when you're trying to
find any excuse to refer a patient to a different department.
So Donald, excuse me. Turk and Cox are in a
turf war or if you will, that's the name of
the show, Mike tur four, where they're fighting over Lloyd

(28:05):
because nobody wants Lloyd. Played by the hilarious Mike Schwartz
everything like Schwartz in this episode where he was like,
you're forty and you're a delivery man. You got a
case of where did I go wrong? Zes? Yeah? What
about it was fucked up? But what about when Mike
Schwartz is pointing to his form, he goes, it's it

(28:25):
hurts here, and then he goes to his elbow. It
skips here, and then he goes to his bicep and
then it continues here. He's like, are you serious, Lloyd?
He goes, but what about the tingles? Yeah, he says,
he's got the chest the chess tingles. He was very
funny in this episode. It made me think we should
have given Mike more to do because he should have

(28:47):
been more recurring. I mean he was, he had part
and everything. But this is the first time Lloyd ever
gets to be the main guest star of the episode.
Well not Kerry Russell's the main guest star, but ye know, second,
let's say guest star. He's very funny, for sure, He's hilarious.
The b story was actually really funny too. I I
was I got psyched out and I was on the

(29:07):
show and you don't remember it at all, not even
a little bit. I didn't see it coming. I don't
remember you know some episodes, Donald and I've told you
you are our faithful listeners around the globe. This before
some we just don't remember doing. And this falls into
that from me. If you're new to the show, though, welcome.
If you're doing the show, welcome, thank you for joining us.
This is a Daniel DJ Daniel Joelle Monique. Oh there's

(29:30):
a song we have called Joel Monique is down, You
get down. We will now play it, Daniel, hit it.
Get the word out all Joelmonique is down and get down,
no matter what's between your eggs tomorrow bone and you
could be making an eggs Joe down, get down? Oh yeah,

(29:53):
Joelmonie down and get speaking up? Joe? Well yeah, how's
everything going with your Uh? She has not time to
be dating. She's been down for ten days. That was
ten days ago. Though, Okay, do you ever chat to
that gal that we introduce you to? Are you friends
at least every now and again? But not not really.

(30:14):
It's kind of far away from are you out there
dating at all? Jowell? Are you are you gonna? Are
you looking for mister or missus Wright? Uh? Not currently currently,
I am just trying to get out of my house.
You mean, do you mean while you're moving again? Not
again a saga which boils down to bad neighbors and

(30:35):
faulty building. Um, yeah, to get out. So we're moving
at the end of next week, which they're too long.
But do you have a new good spot? Oh my god,
it has an entire roof deck off of my room. Absolutely.
And um, we expanded so we have an actual office now,
so I don't have to work in my bedroom anymore.

(30:57):
So I am thrill. I'm very excited to could be
called a blessing in disguise certain to me, absolutely, Maybe
it's not even wearing a disguise. Maybe it's just a blessing,
just a full out blessing. Yeah, it's I'm excited. I
can't wait to decorate and get cozy. And yeah that's good.
You deserve that, Joel, thank you. We're gonna we got

(31:18):
another special episode coming up. Yeah, we do. We have
to figure the logistics out of that. It's hard to
be cryptic, audience. I don't want to ruin any of
the surprise, don't ruin anything. We're almost done with season six,
by the way, we have four more episodes in season six,
and I don't mean to, you know, express concern, but

(31:38):
we're running out of episodes of the show. Donald. We
really have to figure out what we're gonna Dowsta. I
think I don't want the podcast to be over. I
will say that I don't want it to be over
too much checking in talking. I like Daniel and Joel.
I like the community we've built. Why don't we just
start all over? Can't we just start all over? Run it?

(31:59):
Oh my god, re listen of the podcast? Another one
you don't remember? Remember when we used to do that?
Another another one? We should we run it back? We
could get super meta as as as we've said, and
just do a re listen of the podcast of the

(32:19):
I want you Nicsed to be the new Epert and Ruper.
I want you to thumbs up and thumbs down now
because I got to be in the ship, don't We
don't want to be in the place to ever talk
negatively about other artists and other artists. Man, I get it.
I remember, yo. Look, I remember when I used to
be like and I still do it now. I didn't.
I didn't enjoy it and stuff like that. But I
remember what I used to be like, don't see that movie.

(32:40):
Now I'm like, please, you know, yeah, this is my opinion.
This is I don't want to poo poo any artists work.
Although I just did Brett Goldstein's podcast. Here's a podcast
called Films to be Buried with um And you had
to say, what movie do you think is it is horrible?
What was the worst we've ever seen? So I chose
a deep cut meat Balls Too? Do you remember me too?

(33:04):
I like meat Balls Too? With the alien? Yeah, but
do you know what happened is you know I love
you so much? We have the exact same fucking references.
So many people would never have seen Meatballs Too. Meat
Balls one was a very wonderful Bill Murray movie for kids,
and it was incredible. And then and then meat Balls
two came out. It was at the height of the
ET phenomenon, and they obviously didn't have Bill Murray for

(33:27):
the sequel, so they decided that the kids at the
camp stumble across an alien that looked a whole lot
like ET. It was like at but just just a
little bit askew enough to not get sued meat ted.
And his name was Meathead. No, that's that's what they
called him meat Head one day and he was like,
me Ted and they no, he said his name was Ted.

(33:50):
They were like, what's your name? He said me Ted
and they called him meat heead Meadhead. Perfect. So imagine,
imagine you have a hit movie and it's time to
make the sequel and that was great, and you can't
get the star. So you and it's and it's the
and it's the height of ET and you go, wait,
here's the pitch Instead of Bill Murray, we have our

(34:12):
own ET. And we just put that in the movie. Wait,
hold up, do we still go back to the camp?
We're at the camp, but there's no Bill Murray anymore.
The kids stumble across ET, but not ET. Do we
get the theme song? Yes, we still get Are you
ready all right? But I love you? I love that?

(34:34):
You know that reference. Of course, Brett Goldstein had no
idea what I was talking about. No classic Carry Russell
is here. And that was a pretty epic cold open,
by the way, with the wind. Oh yes, we should
give Bill directing props because that whole sequence with the

(34:56):
two women screaming and it's like the movie Tornado. Right,
there's literally a cow flying, a toy cow flying across
the screen. And uh, I'm sure lots of stunt men
making us look good. Um, but that looked really well.
That was really good. That was that was well done. Yeah,
it was very Uh, it was very climactic. It was

(35:16):
very climactic at the end two with the you know,
and all we had to do is show them the
picture of the baby and then they are which is
literally me now somehow, somehow when I see a baby, now,
are you like, oh, look at the baby, those cheeks.
I remember those days. Those are good old days. Yeah,

(35:38):
you're like, I don't want to see you on the baby.
I don't mind the baby. It's when they become kids
that it becomes the problem. And well, it seems like
you have two very happy children right now, so you're good.
They are very happy, but they're also very very spoiled. Man. Yes,
and it's because of me, and it's you know, I
know that, And there must be hard to say no

(36:00):
to your children. I recently a young child, and it
means it was the child was having a bad day
or a bad moment, and I was like, maybe I
don't maybe I don't have kids. I mean if you ever,
if you ever are thinking about having kids, I suggest
you go and hang out with somebody who has because no,

(36:23):
because if you really want to have kids, you'll be like,
I don't give a shit, I still want to do it.
If it's mine, it's it'll be different, obviously, But when
you're around a kid is being naughty and the parents
aren't rectifying it or giving the child consequences, and you're
watching a kid just stomp and run the room, it
can make one who doesn't have kids go maybe it's

(36:44):
not for me. It could unless you really want to
have kids, if you really want to have kids. Because
I remember when Casey and I were trying to have
children and we were around kids that were misbehaving, we
didn't give a shit. We still found the humor in it,
and after about it. Right now that it's our kids
doing that shit, it ain't funny. No, there's nothing funny

(37:05):
about any of it. And I know it's hard. I
see as someone who's never who only has a dog,
I see how hard it is. But you know what,
you still I still want to be like, oh my god,
I know nothing, but this kid needs a time out.
I know one thing. This kid needs a time out. Yeah,
the thing's gonna work. Time out works for that moment

(37:29):
in time. Guess what's gonna happen. You're gonna be like,
you need another time out about fifteen minutes later. You
can't give out. You can't give out too many times out.
You'll spend the whole day in time out. That's been
the whole day in the room. It's crazy. Man. Did
you see that viral video of the little girl? This
is old, but but some I think Casey said it
to me. That little girl be man, let me tell
you something so funny. You just saw that I saw

(37:53):
a few years ago. But Casey just said it to me.
That girl is so naughty but so hilarious, so funny.
Let me tell you lynn Y. Yeah, she goes, let
me tell you something, Linda, that's not my name. Yeah,
And then teaching goes, my name is not Linda. You
saw that donald, Yeah, she goes, let me tell you something, Linda,

(38:14):
My name is not Linda. Not amused. Clearly gotten that
exact attitude before. It's like, yeah, it's just like you
sometimes have places that you gotta be. You gotta get
to work, you know what I mean? The things that
you gotta do in order to ensure that these motherfuckers
grow up to be healthy and happy and have food.
And these motherfucker's throwing monkey wrenches in your timetable. And

(38:37):
it's like, yo, and you can't lose it because when
my parents used to lose that shit and this shit
on me, I remember being like, that's fucked up. You
didn't have to lose your ship. So I try not
to lose my shit on my kids. But sometimes I
can't help it. Sometimes I'm like, damn it, I will
fuck you up right here and right now. Get in
the car. You know what I mean. Like, it's just

(38:58):
what it is, yo. All Right, we're gonna take a
break and um when we come back, we are going
to actually focus on the TV show Scrub and we're back.
You're gonna watch You're gonna watch all of the Spider
Man's no, he's talking about all of the Marvel universe

(39:20):
in order just like reliving reliving that magic again. That's
a lot of hours. Oh yeah, yeah, that's a that's
a commitment one. That's what we should do, Zach No,
I would rather do different strokes, all right, what about

(39:41):
if we well, oh man, we have to pick us.
I thought it almost happened. I thought it almost happened. Shit,
this is what we need to narrow it down to. Okay,
a sitcom that has an overlapping audience with Scrubs. I
don't mean situation. I don't mean audience. I mean you know,
a half hour comedy that has overlapping audience with Scrubs. Okay,

(40:02):
So like Friends the Office, I don't think the Community frasier. Well,
you had yelled once that you didn't want to do
a show with no black people, and now you're has
two gay people because it cancels out. I'd rather do Community,
which everyone says is Scrubs esque, or um, what's the

(40:24):
other one? Parks and rec Parks and Read, which has
Donald Glover. I think Community. Oh sorry, those are two
shows I've never seen. Pine. I've never seen a single
episode of either show. That's what I meant, Chris Pratt,
I've never seen a single episode of either show. And
people think and people think they're funny. Which of those

(40:48):
two do you guys like better? Oh? Better? That's a
tough one, really hard. I think you would appreciate Community
more because there's so many films. It's very cinematic like
it's it's a very cinematic television show, especially for a
half hour comedy. It was a star of at Joe,

(41:08):
Joel McHale, Joel McHale and Chevy Chase. Yeah, there was
a lot of people that was like a real ensemble cast.
And Joe mckelly's character was the JD Right. Yes, no not. Jillian.
Jillian's really good. I think she should actress. I love
the show Love, which you should watch. I've not said

(41:30):
it before, tried to Appatel produced it. It's called Love.
Jillian Jacobs. Jillian Jacobs, she's really talented. All right, Donald,
let's focus on Scrubs ready. We should watch maybe a
Jet Appatown movie. We should do all Apatown. The only
thing about doing movies I just wanted to I just
wanted you to realize is it's gonna be a lot.
It's gonna be hard to get through in an hour
and a half. And we're gonna to take the time

(41:53):
to watch and notate a movie every week, which schedules
is tricky, but we're really if we're doing it the
way we do this show, we could just watch it through,
take some notes here and there. I just think that
I just I just think we're both working a lot
these days, and watching a twenty two minute thing and
doing notes on it is easier than watching a two

(42:14):
hour movie and doing it. And also we barely get
through a twenty two minute show in an hour and
a half here because of all the digressions like writing
you that you do like right now, everybody likes a
little ass flay. Don't even act like you don't. Okay, ready,
let's so Elliott. You forgot about Beard for saying his
face full of macaroons? That's true? Yes, and Kelso is

(42:39):
like an amazing macaroni flicker flicker player. Um, jealous? A
bus driver? What about this line for us? Honkys? It's
a very important dance, I don't, I mean, like you
know it's an important dance for all a freaking sprinkler.

(43:03):
I didn't even know the bus driver, I mean as
a as a honky. I didn't know that any I
thought honky was just slang for white person. Sure, okay, um,
is it not? So we look it up on Dane.
Can you look up honky? Here we go? Here we go? No,

(43:24):
but did you know the dance? The bus driver? I
didn't even know it. I've never heard of it before.
Maybe it's before a time because it's maybe maybe it's
a build joke. He's a little bit older than us,
so Jad's jealous of the relationship between Elliott and her. Yes,
I hated j D in this episode. I'm really he
pissed me off, this fucking guy because because now he's tipped,
he's just he's torturing this fucking woman's life, you know her.

(43:49):
Now he's catching feelings again. Yeah, now he's catching feelings again.
And you know why, because he sees them getting closer
and closer and then a little why. That's not why
they had a moment where they hung out and he
was cheering her up because her boyfriend was out of town.
It's not because it's not because they were getting closer.

(44:10):
It has nothing to do with If that were the case,
then j D would be an ultimate asshole, okay, because
he was playing games on this poor fucking Absolutely he does.
But that's because he wants to be alone with her.
He wants to have his cake and eat Here's what happens.
Here's here's what we all eat cake, don't we Here's
what here's here's here's where where what happens. Her boyfriend

(44:34):
goes out of town. The two of them have a connection,
and he makes her laugh and he's like, wow, that
was a lot of fun. We should do that tonight.
She's like, I can't do it tonight. I got shipped
to do and he's like, oh, okay. At that moment,
her best friend comes in town from out of town,
from from from from back in the day, comes in

(44:55):
the town, right. She all of a sudden says, you
know what, let's go out tonight. We should do something.
JD's hurt by that, yes, and so because of that,
and because of the little bit of feelings that he's
kind of caught, he does the ultimate sabotage, which he
does a lie that is like the biggest punk move

(45:19):
ever in the history of Why would you ever? It
was such a doochey thing to do out of petty
jealousy and insecurity, Like that's something that Look, I get it.
Sometimes people do things that you know are better than
what you were able to do at that moment, But

(45:41):
that doesn't mean you go there and freaking take him
down and seen this friend and so long, and JD
makes up lie that would make any person go oh, well,
then fuck her and that's what happens. Then carry Russell.
What's her character's name? I gotta stop refriend or carry Russell.

(46:01):
Can you guys look that up for me please? Um?
But anyway, Carousse's character has this very bizarre idea because
she's sort of a party girl that we jd and
she started making out at the bar. But it can't
get serious like, yeah, well you didn't used to back
in the day. You know, I'm just saying I we
kept using the term mackin and I didn't melody as

(46:23):
her name, thank you. Um. We don't even use the
expression macin anymore. Really, I wonder if the kids do it. Nah,
my kids use the term tackle kissing. Oh my goodness,
you told us that the Dictionary definition of honky, the
Urban Dictionary, what does it say? Uh? Well, I looked

(46:45):
up a couple of things because I was curious if
this was actually true, because I've gotten a couple of
different things. One is that, yes, it's just a pejordan
of term for a white person, the jordan of term
for a white person. But also somebody somebody said that
it also potentially came from um slavery days because slave
owners would honk a horn, and they would call that
person a honky. That is not substantiated anywhere else, um,

(47:06):
other than urban diary. Well, I know where crack it
comes from. Yeah, we've discussed the origins to talk about that. Um.
There's also the term may have begun in the meat
packing plants of Chicago. According to Robert Henderson, author of
Encyclopedi of Warden for his origins, black workers on Chicago
meat packing plants picked up a turn from white workers
and began applying it indiscriminately to all whites. Okay, well,
I think we'll stick with pejorative term for white. Yes,

(47:27):
we'll go with that all right. Anywhere a honky, we
both are Zack. I mean if if, if I, if
the shoe fits, we can only hope to be Macklemore.
Isn't at least be a cold ass honky as it works?

(47:47):
Can I have that from my soundboard? Danny? Yeah, guys
should use honky. You guys should use honky to wit
black people. Oh so when I see Daniel, I'm like,
my honky, Yeah, what's up? Honky? Oh listen, honky. I'm
gonna be covering my eyes on that one. That's how

(48:07):
y'all should do it. That would be the best. That
would be best day ever if y'all went out into
the street and did that shit like and every time
you y'all say, what's up, my honky? If y'all did
that shit, that would be the best. Oh my god,
I laughed so hard. I would laugh. I don't think
young people today know the term. I feel like it's
it's feeding out of existence. Ain't nothing like Red Fox

(48:29):
saying yeah, yeah, Red Fox used to love saying honky.
George Jefferson didn't he Yes, George Jefferson said it way
more than Red Fox did. Which, Oh my god, we
should rewatch the Jefferson's I Love You. Put it on

(48:50):
the list. Put it on the list, all put it on.
Here's my dear, here's my pitch. Right. What about Saffon
and Sun. We should we watch Stefon and Son? Yeah?
I just I just that'sh It's funny, man, it's funny.
I probably funny. I think the Jeffersons is more accessible.
This is the only problem with the Jeffersons. And all right,
so look, it's at some point Sitcom's got so crazy

(49:10):
that everything happened to these motherfuckers. Yeah there, but no,
like different strokes, different strokes. Everything happened to either Arnold, Willis,
Kimberly or Dudley, and then Sam came along later, and
then things happened to Sam. The same thing with the

(49:37):
Facts of Life. The Facts of Life. There's doesn't doesn't
denied on a very special episode of the Facts of Life.
Every week of the Facts of Life. At one point,
didn't she they try to traffic sex traffics. Okay, that
I feel like. I feel like the Jeffersons falls into

(49:58):
that category at that era. Sandford and Son not so much. Man.
I feel like some of the issues that they go through,
We're like, we gotta get the couch through the door.
I really want to watch Sanford and Son. You're making
me want to watch it, But I just think Joelle
will make a master list. Here's one idea, right, here's

(50:18):
a good pitch ready, here's a good pitch ready. Yeah,
where's the what's the one with Freddie Prince Senior, Chico
and the Man. Come on, let's do it. Cheek n

(50:42):
night Court. I love night Court cheers. Fuck yeah, they're
not doing it. Fuck it. Everybody the office is already
doing that shit, the fucking uh Friends, I'm sure somebody's
doing that shit. No, no, no one's doing it. No
one's doing the Friends yet. No, none of the none
of the cast is a Friends. Let's see, I suggested
Friends to you, and you said there's no black people
in it. You didn't want to It's true, even though

(51:04):
I heard that one of the creators of Friends just
give money. Yeah, yeah, it made a hefty donation. She
she she was holding on to that guilt for a while,
and all of a sudden it amassed a lot of
money towards the donation. Hey, listen, here's the idea, Joel,
what do you think about this? Listening, we narrow it
down to let's say six shows, and for the audience,

(51:28):
we live to the pilots, and we see which pilot
we all like the most and which one we want
to pursue, and we can also and we can also
maybe even do a poll with the audience. That's not fair. Friends, Well,
first of all, the Friends pilot is one of the
best pilots you'll ever see, so you can't base it

(51:49):
on like somebody's pilots are so good. Well, the smartest
one to do would be Friends you know why, it's
the most popular. It's the most popular one probably with
our audience. Yes, So if you want the one that
the most people have actually watched, my wife love that.
The only thing is the only thing is I mean,

(52:12):
I grew up in New York City and I can't
relate to the size. About what about create a black
corner where you could tell us how it really would
have been? How about this? How about this? How about this?
How about this? How about we do friends and then
and then the black corner is we do the living
single version? We play so when we live a single?

(52:33):
First once a month, we do once a month, we
do two to seven. Oh, how about we do living
single and friends at the same time. Pilot episode sing
why because it's friends and it's black people? Is that
the premiers? I never I didn't know anything about it.
That's what it came before friends. And it's literally literally

(52:56):
we could make friends. It's literally the exact same shitts
for other people, same relationship, their apartment building. Two people
don't live in the apartment building. Two four people do?
All right, well, do you like my living? Do you

(53:16):
like concept and got and got you, gotta and Gotta fly?
Ass fucking theme song. Also, all right, listen, here's my
pitch is that we narrow it down off air till
like six or so shows, and then we and then
we do the pilot episode uh for the audience, and

(53:36):
then we as a group find which show we think
we should do. We don't have to We don't have
to include the audience if you don't want Donald, because
maybe that would just I would just friends would win.
I'm saying we could also Joel could set up a
website where they could they could vote for which they
want to audience. I want the audience to be a
part of this because okay, so Joelle and looking setting

(53:57):
up a website are the ones that will be listening.
We do have say though, I'm sorry, we do have
say but ye no, we will yeah, because if they
say they say they want to do what one, we
can still overrule them. I would like to I'm not
gonna lie. I would like to do either like Xena
Worrior Princess not that or Hercules No young Hercules, but
Ryan Gosling Hercules. What about young Hercules? What about what

(54:20):
about landing the Loss? The original? Let's go go hell,
y'all remember that but the sleep was so trippy. Marsha,
Will and Holly go ahead on a rouutine expedition, comes
in grade des earthquake Heaven. They go down to things,

(54:48):
to the Land of the Last. Oh that was fine,
Oh land had Oh God, why did you? Why did
you end on such a horrible note? Listen. If you're

(55:09):
listening and you have no idea what we're talking about,
will you please um go on YouTube and look at
the original Land of the Lost. Just watch a clip
to see how fucking trippy this show was that we
grew up on. It was about Marshall, Will and Holly
and they were like on some routine expert. They were
just now you're just speaking the theme song. They were
on our routine expedition with the greatest earthquake ever known

(55:32):
happens yea, and then then falling into a un of
waterfall into the Land of the Lost where they were stuck. Yes,
And didn't they do a remake? They did? Yeah, don't
watch the remake. I'm not talking about the remake. We're
talking about the original show. Did they tell you about?
Tell me what year the original show aired so I

(55:53):
can tell it's definitely the seventies. And who ever wrote
this show was high as balls. All right, So you
were in an air band with Lloyd? I haven't left
the first page in my notes, by the way, But anyway,
Lloyd says, weren't we in an air band? And then
he shows off his air drumming skills, which was very funny. Yes,

(56:14):
and he goes, I think we were the way he
says that last button, he kind of sounds like minor
his first him. Then you, yeah, that's Mike's intonation. Hey,
the janitor um um torments the pediatrics ward as a

(56:34):
ghost the kids ward. Yeah, and he's the ghost that
hates spills. Did you notice who that kid was? Okay,
so we got two makeups. I guess the dude that
won the Academy Award for Coday was the dad. Oh yeah,
I thought that may have been the case. And I
thought we fucked up that up. Okay. Plenty of people
on the Internet said, I can't believe they didn't say this.

(56:57):
All right, I'm sorry, Internet, I'm sorry fans. I should
be purged. Um it's it was the star of Coda okay.
And what's the other one? And I think that's the kid,
the kid in the bed I think that's Zach or Cody,
one of those two, one of the sprouse these, one
of the sproutse brouses. Can you look that up for
me anyway, So the janitor haunts a pediatric ward um

(57:20):
and the little boy says, oh, no, I spilled. I
don't want the ghost to eight spills to come out.
I think that's either Zach or Cody. That kid right there,
I think it is Um. And the janitor is pissed
that the kids gets to eat ice cream after they
have their tonsils out, because when he had his out
he had to have hot coffee and granola bars and
it was hot and scratchy. The janitor had the worst

(57:44):
parents ever. He had a cage also, yeah, the cage. Yes,
he lived in a cage. What was it like kissing
Carrie Russell? I've always I've always thought she was so
beautiful and um, such a good actress. I don't I
remember being being excited that I got to smooth her.

(58:06):
Do you remember that rant that you did when you
were leaving the bar after you get uh, I don't
fucking hilarious. I don't remember, but it went on a
long time. Obviously, Bill like that because I just kept
it kept. It was the most awkward, long moment, kept
coming back and then you're like, I'm doing it. I'm

(58:27):
going to pay Yeah, one hundred dollars ye for one
Apple team, which quite frankly, was really easy on the
teenving was light. Yeah, he was from his name child's
name was William Brent from lab Rats, which is a
Disney TV show. Did you know the show lab Rats?

(58:48):
It wasn't that a movie too? It's from your kids generations.
I thought you might know it. Then we see the
ghost in the background while j D and and right
so he could float and there's a whole scene. It's
very funny. There's a whole scene in the foreground. Jad

(59:10):
and Elliott are having a conversation and in the background
through the glass window you just see the ghost tormenting
pediatrics for it. Yes, as the janitor floats around. Yes, Um,
Shelina has a cameo in the bar um Um Elliott?
Is it Elliott? Or Elliott makes some joke right Jad

(59:35):
that it would that woman wouldn't touch you unless she'd
had eight beers? Is that Elliott? And then they cut
to a beautiful woman that was Shelina who was Um
also the Mermaid, also the Mermaid and Sarah standing the
mermaid was out like splash, I guess yes. And in
the whole Shelina side story, she's a mermaid that's in

(59:55):
town and has legs because she's out of the water. Yes,
Kelso calls you doctor trickle Berry. Well, it's funny. What
was really funny is that this whole thing, I like,
I got duped because I really believe that Cox was
being a dick, like Cox is always like like I
even think I think most people that watched this episode

(01:00:17):
was was like, well, that's Cox being Cox, and you know,
Carlo stands up to him for her husband when and
makes them feel guilty when really, but that's what this
whole episode's about, the guilt you feel after you do
someone wrong, right, and Cox feels really guilty, and it
turns out that these cats were playing a trick on them.

(01:00:38):
And what my favorite, my favorite part about it was
at the end of it, Turk finally says to them, Yo,
don't fuck with me ever again. Dude, Yeah, if you
ever fuck with me, this is what it's gonna be like, Yeah,
I am not the one. And then that was don't
do don't don't do with me. Play lotto. You got

(01:00:58):
a lot more chances of winning. Yeah. By the way,
Mickhead's a surgeon. Did you know that. Yeah, for some reason,
I was surprised that Mickhead was a surgeon. You slap
Mickhead on the ass when you get the file, when
you get the surgery. By the way, even Turk. First
of all, it's very funny the way so Turk Turk
tricks Cox because what he did was he just put

(01:01:20):
he didn't he just in the skin, which is still
fucked up that you even did this, But in the
skin he just puts some thread to make it look
like he did surgery on his arm. Yeah, Lloyd pulls
it out. And then Lloyd pulls the string out like oh,
no Scar. He goes, wow, cool, no Scar. But I
laughed the way that everyone came together, Turk Kelso Carla

(01:01:42):
to trick Cox and even Lloyd by setting up a
TV of a heart surgery and showing it to him,
and Turk says Lloyd and Lloyd says, what's that? And
Turk is behind a curtain and he said, Lloyd, that's
your shoulder sack. And Lloyd goes, well, he's lying it's

(01:02:06):
surgery watching it. Yes, I don't remember they shit at all.
Remember it really looked like he was watching TV too,
He's sitting there. Really. Yeah, he loved it, and then
you fixed his whole condition because in psychosomatically he thought
he'd been healed. Yeah. Great, it was very funny, very funny.

(01:02:28):
And then I'm embarrassed to say maybe not embarrassed. I
was surprised to say that. I got full goosebumps when
Keith proposed, did you sweet? I love the fact? So funny.
You know they're gonna have a romantic moment when they
put that fucking filter on the lens. Yeah, everything gets soft,
everything so soft. They tipped it, Bill, not to not

(01:02:50):
to not to a critique you're directing at all, which
is very very good in this episode. But you did
tip the moment a little bit because Elliott, before even
Keith comes home, they got that filter on the lens.
There's something super romantic about to happen, something something soft.
But I did. I got goose bumps all over my
body when Keith proposed, Um, it was very romantic. He said,

(01:03:10):
I didn't go away at a business trip. I went
to go ask your father for your Yeah, what business
does Keith have? What business is probably a conference? No,
he's still an Internet I thought he did a motherfucking intern.
I forgot what he said. Did he did? He seem
to going to a conference or some shit. I don't
know if it was a business trip that mother we
should have known right then, should have known better. But anyway, Uh,

(01:03:34):
it was very romantic. He instead went to where Elliott's from,
which is Connecticut, I believe, and since we've established that
this is definitely Los Angeles, Um, it's a far trip Keith.
Keith went to Connecticut to ask for nowadays he could assumed.
It's not as romantic as showing up on the front

(01:03:56):
stoop of the woman you want to marry his parents
store and saying I have your daughter's hand in marriage.
And they said, yes, yeah, Well, Eliot's an we've seen,
we've we've seen we've seen her parents, and we know
how crazy her parents are too. Yeah, but he's he's
what they want. He's like an aryan doctor. Do you

(01:04:16):
think Elliot's mom came on to him? Um, she definitely
had a drink and flirted, because you know, Elliot's mom
did everybody. Now you know what's going to happen? Because
Jad is such a twisted fucker. I don't even have
to know remember the episodes to know he's gonna he's

(01:04:38):
gonna pull up the graduate He's gonna pull up graduate shit. Yes,
he's gonna do some graduate ship. He's gonna do some
graduate shit. Bang on the glass. No, fuck your sound
effects machine. All right, we're gonna take a quick break. Yeah, Donald,
do you sound effects somewhere? Michael Winslow is kicking the wall. Joe,

(01:05:00):
we haven't had a guest for a while. Who's not
Rob Nashelle? And Joelle is here to save the day.
We'll be right back, everybody. I'm bad um all right,
Joelle bringing the guests. Plays play music down. We got
a college you can talk start show us, you know,

(01:05:26):
like a botta spoke some jazz maybe talking about the episode.
So come on, Joelle, let's get the show. Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up. You're muted, she's muted? What up? Y'all? Donald?

(01:05:54):
You organize this? I didn't organize this. I'm gonna Oh,
it's just Joel and I should I say this might
have been my most seamless beginning yet, Yes, I was muted,
but you're recording. Oh my god, you were muted, but
he recorded. Are you trapped in an elevator again? I've

(01:06:15):
got no but man, I'm in Portugal, so it's really late.
So I'm already a couple of glasses. And what are
you doing in Portugal? She's on a family vacation, right
I am. I'm here with twelve family members, and you
guys are always teasing me about having a ridiculous travel adventure.
I don't think this is like particularly unique right now
in the world, because travel's insane for everyone. Yes, and

(01:06:38):
by the Wadians are coming out in droves talking about
how particularly bad Canada is. Sarah, Okay, so I mean
everywhere is bad, but I just happened to see in
the news that a lot of Canadian famous people were saying,
what the fuck Air Canada? Right? Yeah, So we were
flying twelve of us, six of whom were children, two
of whom are my parents. And we left Vancouver our

(01:06:58):
on the runway. Not a big deal, get to Montreal late,
not a big deal. They say they're holding the flight.
Fantastic news. And they say to everyone on the flight,
can you please keep your seats so that everyone running
to their connecting flights can get to the front of
the plane. So we do that, and all of a sudden,
one of the flight attendants starts yelling at someone saying,
you're raking Transport Canada rules. You shouldn't have crossed this line.

(01:07:21):
And they're like, oh, I thought we were supposed to
come to the front. So someone starting having a panic attack.
Then they say, accidentally the door at the back of
the plane was opened, so now we're going to load
off the back, and now everybody's standing up so and
they can only load off like a hundred people at
a time, and you have to get on a shuttle.
And since we had to go to international instead of domestic,
now we've got to shuttle all the way back. So
we get into this shuttle about an hour later. We're

(01:07:43):
setting on the plane for like an hour and everyone's
yelling like COVID super spreader event. People are yelling shit,
I don't know people. One person. We get on the
shuttle and they squeeze us all on and now it's
like really nuts, like it's so hot and you can't
move it. It's like an hour on the tarmac and
people are yelling. Six kids COVID's super spread er. We

(01:08:03):
got six kids, and then someone faints because it's so
hot in there. Oh my goodness. And my sister is
a doctor and she's like, please, can we move this shuttle.
We're having a medical emergency. And there's like there's nothing
we can do. So anyways, long story long, we get
off the plane. We run to the gate, all the
way from like landing in international, shuttling back to domestic,
sprinting back to International. We get there, the plane still

(01:08:24):
there and they won't open the gate, and where they're like,
there's twelve of us. And so what ends up happening
is it's Formula one in Montreal, so there's no like
Montreal Airport is exploding. And so the woman's like it's
gonna be fine. Just go get your bags, go through customs.
There's gonna be somebody there to help you to Canada.
And I was like, I've got six kids, it's the

(01:08:44):
middle of the night. Please tell me it's not gonna
be like a one hour wait. She's like no, no, no,
so it's a five hour wait. So I mean I
start like begging that. I'm literally begging this woman. She goes,
you need to go to the back of the line.
I was like, I've waited for five hours, like please, please, please, Like,
I have six children, is there we Oh, there's no
more flights to Europe for like a week, um, she said,
And I was like yeah, so she says, and I

(01:09:05):
was like, but I have six kids here who have
been like, this is their first trip since COVID, so
they've been counting down the sleeps for seven decent and
for seventy of them, So please just get us in
a plane. It's the middle of the night. We end
up going home with no result. Got a few hours
sleep at a hotel. There's oh yeah, to hotel. There's
no hotels because it's Formula one. So finally we find

(01:09:27):
this place they will take you know, twelve. We sleep
for a few hours. I go back. I line up again,
just begging, begging, begging, there's nothing we can do. Finally
they get us twelve seats on a plane. I'm so stoked.
We go to check in. They're like, great, twelve to
Lyon right, and I'm like to France, no, we're going
to Portugal. They booked us on a flight to France,
and my sister's like, let's just go to France. We'll

(01:09:49):
take a twenty for our train. It's fine, let's just
get to Europe. Let's just get somewhere in Europe. And
so I was like, no, let's try, let's try, let's try.
So anyways, this woman's Sophie, who's like an angel sent
from the sky. She says, give me the past sports,
give me the stack, give me the stack of passports,
and she basically goes, okay, I can get I can
get four of you to Rome right now, for to
Rome and then to Lisbon. Who can go? And I'm like,
I'll take my kids and my niece Flora done. Then

(01:10:10):
I'll take my kids bye, Okay, okay. To be fair
in the wrong, at first they had my parents and
my sister direct to Lisbon. We're like, let's get my
parents there direct. Then they were like, who can go
to Rome? I take my kids and my niece. Then
they're like, okay, two can go to Toronto, my little
sister and my other niece. Then they're like, okay, we
can get three more to Rome. So we have this
like amazing race style journey where we're like, okay, team

(01:10:34):
Rome is definitely going to come and last. And then
by this crazy like Team Toronto got stack in Toronto
for seven hours. Toronto Toronto got at the short strong
no team. So Team Toronto was supposed to have like
a pretty quick connection to Lisbon. They had a seven
hour delay and it was just like we were texting
each other the updates and someone's like, oh, they're doing

(01:10:55):
a wheel change. I'm like, I've never even heard of
an airplane having like a wheel change, you know that.
I don't like the sound of wheel change a right
when you hear this plane might be cursed if it's
got a wheel at that point, if they were like
they're rebuilding the aircraft, that'd be like fantastic news. Please,
for the love of God, six children. So sorry, did
anyone in air Canada ever um ever contact you? I mean,

(01:11:18):
did you contact them? Did anyone ever say? Oops? No?
So they lost our luggage, all of it obviously? Oh
my god, So I knows where your luggage went? God news,
Wait did it ever end? Did it ever end up
coming to Portugal? So we just got half of it.
And that's after me every morning being on the phone.
I spent about an hour every morning on the fourth
They are Canada and it's faster if you click in French.

(01:11:40):
So it's just like every morning, I'm like dues Pelson's
pills on. So this is like how I start my morning. Love,
I don't know what wonderful getting so like making so
much fun of me because this other side of me
comes out when I talk to baggage. And then we

(01:12:05):
end up, you know, getting there. And the best part
was that my niece that was the most excited that
literally like planned Portugal, picked Portugal as the destination. She's
twelve and she was on Team Toronto and they were
supposed to get there before us, and she excitedly like
runs off the plane, runs out of the airport, and
then she sees the team Roam got there first, and
her whole face just like she no longer excited to

(01:12:27):
be Portgal. She was just like, what is Team Rome
doing here? Don't you win the race? But you still
don't have all your luggage. I still don't have a luggage. Unfortunately,
both my parents got covid. Um. Oh, this is such
it really she's they're okay. They're luckily, you know, they
had a four vaccines, so they got sick, but they're okay.

(01:12:48):
This story is called Sarah Chalk goes on a trip,
Part Part eight, Audience audience. If it were back in
the scrub days, she'd be saying it a little faster
and more to breath. And then team romans, okay, they
did you hear what she said? Well, did you hear
what she said before that? She said, she's a few

(01:13:09):
drinks and so so maybe calm your down. She's not
out of breath. How so far it's so beautiful. I've
never been here and it's just like magical. And the
beaches are nuts and the water is so gorgeous. The

(01:13:31):
food is amazing. Um, it's like the beginning obviously was
not without a bit of stress. But Sarah, you have
a family, and this to me is rare that really
all gets along with each other. Yeah, a lot of
families when they take about twelve of them going on on,
are you living in the same house, We're we're sort
of We've have enough, we have enough space, we have

(01:13:52):
enough space. It's great, Yeah, all right, because there's a
lot of families listening who go a trip in the
same house with twelve of my family members. I think
I'm gonna steal with no luggage. Everybody's wearing base no
luggage and two people have and parents get covid. Um. No,
we're having a good time. We just uh, we just

(01:14:13):
are in the middle of a dinner where I was
came to do this. I was in will let you go?
I'm not no, I'm telling guy, I want I made
it to the semi finals in the You're asking if
we get along. This is how weird. My family is
at dinner tonight. We're having so I don't know how
this started, but a chicken competition and of who does
the best chicken? Yeah, who could do the best chicken impression? No,

(01:14:44):
I don't even know. I wish I was at dinner
with you guys tonight. I know how much have you
had to drink over there in Portugal, Sarah ch I
guess the children have as well. I don't know. Yeah,

(01:15:05):
I miss you. We miss you. Thank you for taking
a time to see high all the way from Portugal.
I'm sure the fans love to hear from you. I
miss you so much. We were we were we were
talking about you, um lovingly in this episode as always
as we always do. As we don't even know which
episode you're watching, because this was just a little it's
the first, the first carry Rustle episode where she comes

(01:15:28):
and then Keith and then Keith proposes to you at
the end of the episode. All right, it's very romantic.
It's very romantic. Zach got goosebumps. I got goosebumps. It
was very romantic. I'm I guess I'm a romantic. Sorry,
even though it was Keith my nemesis, I got goosebumps.
We saw. We also saw the origin of the I

(01:15:49):
Want You Back skis from j D where we realized, now, oh,
he's about to sabotage. You can see you can see
j D being stewing with jealousy like a freak. Videos.
All right, Sarah chalk, we love you, and that's our show.
Let's just get out our show, everybody. We're gonna get

(01:16:10):
the fuck out of here. We'd love you so much.
You look beautiful, Sarah, Sarah, you never looked more beautiful.
Oh that is not true, because I don't have luggage,
which means they don't have shampoo. Your hair is glowing.
What is that? What is it? Mud? Looks great? Yeah,
it actually does look really good. It looks good. She

(01:16:31):
just pulled it down, audience. She's trying to make it
look bad. But she can't. She can't, she can't do it,
hammered Donald's alright, Sarah, why don't you, Sarah, why don't
you count us out in French for the audience, and
thank you everybody. We'll see you next week. Here's Sarah

(01:16:53):
Chalky show about a bunch of docs and nurses in
the Canada who love I said, he's the stories nephew.
All should go. So gather around you. Here are gather

(01:17:13):
around you. Here are scot Free, which your wiz a
mm hmmm.