June 26, 2024 • 62 mins
LOOK OUT! It’s only Films To Be Buried With!
Join your host Brett Goldstein as he talks life, death, love and the universe with the hilarious jolt of energy that is AMBER RUFFIN!
Amber is awesome and this episode is just pure fun and delight from start to end. Amongst the usual good times, they get into everything including the joy of cue cards, writing for late night shows and having her own show, DMT walls of people, a scream sandwich, podcasting with family members, Whoopi, bringing back The Wiz, switching off tears and talking how you talk. All will make sense in the fullness of listening. Enjoyment is assured.
Video and extra audio available on Brett's Patreon!
THE AMBER & LACEY, LACEY & AMBER SHOW
SUPERBOB (Brett's 2015 feature film)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Look out. It's only films to be buried with. Hello,
and welcome to Films to be buried with. My name
is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, director,
(00:20):
a bobblehead, and I love films. As Noam Chomsky once said,
I was never aware of any other option but to
question everything, except for during the film The Beast, I
had no questions watching that. It was very clear to me.
Me too, I loved it nice one. Every week I
invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died.
Then I get them to discuss their life through the
films that meant the most of them. Previous guests include
(00:40):
Barry Jenkins, Mark Frost, Sharon Stone, Jamie Lajamal and even
bed Dambles. But this week it is the brilliant and
wonderful it's Amber Ruffin. Head over to the patrion dot
com forward slash break Goldstein, where you get about extra
twenty minutes of chat with Amber, you get a secret
from her. You also get the whole episode uncut, ad
free and does a video. Check it out over at
(01:02):
patreon dot com forwards. Last Brett Goldstein, So Amber Ruffin, Oh,
she is a brilliant comic. She's a late night host.
She's an actor, she's a writer, and she is now
currently the host alongside her hister, Lacy Lamar, of the
Amber and Lacey Lacy and Amber Show, a weekly podcast
produced by Our Heart Media and Will Farrel's Big Money
Players Network. Me and Amber had met a few times.
I love her. She's fucking great and it was so
(01:23):
nice to be able to hang out with her for
a while on zoom. We recorded this a few weeks ago,
and what a great time. I think you're going to
love this one. So that is it for now. I
very much hope you enjoy episode three hundred and five
of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to
(01:49):
Films to be Buried With. It is me Brett Goldstein
and I enjoined today by an actor, a writer, and
late night a superstar, a podcast, a person with her
name in the title of a show, a person who
works with her sister, a legend, the io, the boom, Chicn'go,
(02:10):
the seth Meyers, the TV, the radio, the stage. If
you've seen her, you can't believe her. She's real. She's here.
I can't believe it. She's a legend in her own lifetime.
Please welcome to the show. It's the Brilliants that a rubbidh.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
That intro was not long enough.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
I ran out of breath.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Brett, Hi, I love you so bad.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I love you so bad. I'm so happy to have
you here. Tell me everything to this morning. I listen
to your latest podcast. You do a podcast with your sister.
I think it's very nice that you do it with
your sister. You're both very funny together. I like that
it seems like there's no plan. It's just two sisters
being very very funny together. Dude, I'm saying everything.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
We were like calling each other every day and that
it takes an hour to say everything that needs to
be said. Yeah, and we were like, some fool pay
us to do this shit, and then.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
We found one and they do and it's so fun.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
It's so fun. It's really fun. And then I wondered
if I haven't listened to all of them. I've listened
to a few of them. I wondered, if you ever
have like proper family feuds and they end up in
the podcast, or if you've ever fallen out. You seem
incredibly close. Have you ever not been close? What happens
then to.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
The rest of the family. No, man, I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I don't say anything. I just use cuss words. And
then every time I go home, I get in trouble.
But I'm too old to be so it's fine.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Also, I like that you know the words to the
Gumming Bears theme tune, and you're correct. It's the best.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It's the best, it's the best. It's the most beautiful
theme song.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
And they worked really hard on that, and they don't
do theme songs like that anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
These children don't know, they don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Everything moves so fast. It's very sad. Also, the connection
that we have is that you did Boom Chicago with
the likes of your Brendan Hunt and your Jason Sideki's
true or False and Joe Kelly.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I did Boom Chicago with none of those people.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Actually they were all. I did Boom Chicago.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Much later than them, much later than Joe Kelly and
Jason Sadeikis. But I did overlap one day with Brendan
like his last week was my first week, and.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
He has been writing that story. Oh do I in
the bank one day crossover be and over raffish best
friends for life work together for years.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Brettan Hunt did though, I wrote a musical version of
a documentary called King of Kong. It's the best documentary
of all time, and agreed. I wrote it with my
friend Lauren and and Brendan directed it and it is
the best documentary of all time.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
And then we me and my friend.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
So the documentary King of Kong a fistful of Quarters
is about two grown men vying to see who can
become the Donkey Kong Champion of the world the arcade game.
And there's one guy who's a angel center Earth, and
then there's one guy who is the devil himself. And
it's a documentary, so none of this is planned. They
just happened upon the nicest guy and the worst guy.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So I play.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
It's a two man musical where we play all of
the parts, but mostly I play the bad guy and
my best friend she plays the good guy. So Brendan
Hunt directed it and it is the best thing you
can see and do his best, absolute best. Will will
you bring it back take it the Broadway? We absolutely
(05:53):
will not, because we got told by the people who
produced it to stop doing it. They came to see
it and they were like, we like it and it's
good and you did a good job. The two of
you can do it sometimes, but you can't be making
money off it and you can't like have other people
(06:14):
perform it.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
And we were like, Okay, yeah, doesn't that suck well?
Speaker 4 (06:19):
And that's because I think that's a secret Breton, I'm whispering.
I think that is because they were going to make
a musical about it, and that was like ten years
ago at this point, so I think that musical fell apart,
and my musical is ready to go. I'm gonna write down,
(06:40):
call my Broadway agent, see if we can't get that
one bad.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I didn't stop. Mm hmm, you crazy. They basically came
to see your show. They were like, fuck, this is
much better than the show we've been writing. That's it.
They're like, fuck, well, we'll just tell them they can
never do it. No one will ever see this better show.
And then they did their show and it was shit,
and then they're like, fuck, I wish Amber would call
(07:04):
and we could just say we wrote her show.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I wrote so many Piece of Ship musicals before there,
and Brendan Hut was in all them, but King Dong
was that one of them.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
That was a good one.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
How did you end up and how did you cope with? Here?
Is a serious if I may ask you one serious
question because of how the world is. I always i'm
sort of always impressed with people who do kind of
satire and political humor because I know people are fucking
horrible and scary online, etc. And doing something like The
(07:42):
Daily Show or Late Night, I think you get a
lot of very scary at least things pointed towards you.
And I wonder doing your first late night show, which
was which is fucking excellent, and I want you to
do it forever and ever. You seem like a very lovely,
fun liked person. But that's scary stuff that guys with that, I imagine,
(08:03):
how do you deal with that? If at all?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
I am very lucky and that I am so black
and so lady and so left that the haters don't
really reach me that easily, Like then I'm gonna see
my black face and my kinky here and click on it.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't think that's e me, So.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I really like I live in this area kind of
outside them. The worst I'll get was like I did
a bit about something and it was like everything I
used to do on the air. Rufford Show would be
like it had a silent now kids before it. You know,
it was just kind of like as if I was
(08:52):
talking to kids.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
You know, it was a.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Whole odd vibe and h if you take what I
do outside of that, it kind of just seems insane.
So only learn that a little too late. And then
you know, we started writing to kind of cover it up.
So like for a while there that gap. They liked
to rip me a new one inside of the gap
(09:14):
of that. And I'm like, yeah, if you don't know,
that's where I'm coming from, you right?
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Interesting? And how was it going from being a writer
to being the head person? How is it managing the people?
How is that part of it?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Well, it wasn't absolutely nothing, because it was the exact
same thing we would do at late night, Seth. It
was all the same people, like anytime you had a bit.
Anytime we do have a bit on late night, we
write it, we give it to Seth. He goes, okay,
and that's the only part of it that's missing. Then
we take the script, we go to wardrobe and go,
(09:53):
I need to be a dinosaur. Then we go to
audio and go, I need a dinosaur roar. Then we
go to you know whatever and go, I need a package,
an opening package that's like a dinosaur smashing through the town.
And then I call my friend Schmole on the phone.
I go write a dinosaur song that goes like this,
Roora rora, I'm a dinosaur. And then we have it
(10:14):
already by you know. So we've always been we had this,
hand the script to que cards and then they do it.
We've done everything from the very beginning, so this was
just like the same, but you have way more time
to do it because it was only every Friday instead
of every day.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
So I was like, this is the easiest job I've
ever had.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
It should be forty times as hard, but it really wasn't,
because you know what you like, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
You just do that. God no idea.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
It was so fucking easy, but so easy, especially after
you did Boom Chicago, where people would shout out lemon
and you look in three hundred people in the face
and you go, okay, a song about lemons in the
style of reggae and you have to sing that shit right.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Now, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Instead of that, you can sit down take days men
to write a thing. It's the luxury of lifetime. It
really is.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I'm right on the board. Things that rhyme with lemon
that can be a whole day. You can.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
There's a rhyme zone which I do often.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Rhyme zone. Okay, so now you do a podcast with
your sister and are you going to get back on stage?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Am I ever going to get back on stage? Great question?
Probably because I don't get enough attention.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I feel that for you.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Also, I don't like the thought of memorizing anything is
terrifying now because now I don't seen que cards.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And I'm so mad that anyone has to live without.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Them, and I'm willing to take this harshest stance Brett.
Everyone who does a show of any kind without que
cards is bad and dumb. They're bad and dumb. Why stress?
You don't have to stress all. You could just be
looking at a cue card and I know what you're thinking, Well,
then the sight lines will be off. Guess the fuck what?
(12:08):
We already fixed it. Every late night person can fix
your cue card so that they're in your sightlines. Any
show could do it. Everyone should be doing it. Shouldn't
be the silly stories about who's the who's old old
Italian man, stories about old Italian man having people like
wear his lines on their shirt and stuff and refreshed shots.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
And sit malon Brandai.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Yeah, do you think that it's good that I call
them old Italian guy are bad?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I don't know if it's accurate.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I don't know that it's agate, but I do think
it's good.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
But it sounds like it is. Here's the thing, okay, listeners,
I don't know that I agree or disagree. I'm just
thinking it through. So you're saying, we go, and by
the way, I would never do this, but let's say
we were people that guys see Shakespeare play. I would
never do this voluntarily unless I had to either the
gun to my head. But great, Oh it's great a
(13:03):
Shakespeare play. Right, you're saying, do the Shakespeare play. But
there's a geezer mid row. Mid Row is holding up
and these cards are heavy. They got a lot on it.
But he's just nestled in the mid middle of the audio.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Brett, you get me.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Finally someone understands what even trying to say. Yes, Yes,
it's fine.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I don't think it's a bad idea.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
It's a good idea. Take some of the pressure.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Because the mad thing is when people go and see
people in plays. I know this for a fact. One
of the things that an audience, if they meet them afterwards,
will always say. They won't say, oh wow, that was amazing,
such an amazing actor, that say how do you learn all
those lines? And the actor thinks, fuck you, that's the
least of the job. So if we have the Q cards,
then then the actor will finally start getting some respect
(14:00):
for the acting rather than just learning all those lines.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Brett finally someone who sees things my way. Yes, you
are right, and I am right, and we are right.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
But the only place I would say maybe don't like
is if you're you're an improviser, if you're doing stand up.
Let's say, I don't want to see you with Q
cards because you don't have to remember your lines. I
don't mind if you forget your lines. It'll be funny.
If you forget your lines, then you can just be
funny about something else. Talk about lemons again, go back
(14:31):
to the old safety levels.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
You're right, you also wouldn't want to blow the punchlines.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, people looking at the gays in the middle right
whispering to their wife much going to be interesting. I've
forgotten to tell you something, and it's mad that I
forgot to tell you this. I should have said it earlier, actually,
(15:00):
but maybe sort of catching up, I'll just say it.
You've died, You're dead, You're dead.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Right, right, that's true, I have to Yeah, I died
exactly the way you think. I was at cheesecake factory
and I had asked for my fifth loaf of brown bread.
And the waiter I get every time, not the fun one,
the mean one. He took the loaf, the fifth loaf
(15:32):
of brown bread, and he shoved it down my throat
and I died.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
It was a murder. It was really violent.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
And I can't say that I didn't deserve it, because
I was kind of pressing him.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But you don't fucking bring me my brown bread when
I say bring it to me.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I don't have all day after read beneath his brown
bread so that I can eat my buffalo blast.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Either way, I died.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So you pushed the main ways a little too hot,
and you said bring me by brown bread, and he
brought you your brown bread, and he's stuffed a life
into your face. So it's sort of I'm assuming some
of it spread out the middle, went into your esophagus. Yeah,
cut off the air. He pushed it down. You explained it. Yeah,
(16:16):
I mean that were the rather baby there or you
were just one it?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
No, I was there.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
I was like there by myself, like taking up a
whole table, which also got on his nerves.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
So what was the rest you were trying to get to?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Well? See bread, They're going to bring out the main
course whenever it's done, so you only have that interim
time to eat bread. So the faster the bread comes,
the more you can eat. But if he's slow on
the bread, they're not going to continue bringing bread after
your main course comes.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So he's got to go fast.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Also, like, this is my fiftieth time with this specific
guy at this specific cheesecake factory, so he ought to
nobody now to not be messing with you.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Is it the one in the ground.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I live in New York?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Otherwise it would be because I have gone to that
one a million times. It's not as good as the
one in Beverly Hills, which is the one I love
and also quite possibly the first cheesecake factory. Now we're
both sitting at computers right now, we will never know
what I do.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Not touch the keyboard, don't touch it.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
But in my heart, it's the original.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I can't imagine the first factory. It seems like they
were born as a group, you know what I mean,
Like you can't imagine one cheesecake factory and they go, well,
I think we're done here. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
They just all sprouted at the same time, like a
field of cabbage patch kids.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, imagine just the first one on its own, just
on its own, looking like a chain, but it's one.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
It would be flooded with people clamoring from all over
the globe.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well, I'm sort of I'm devastated. Did do you worry
about death?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Some times I do a little bit, but not enough,
not like I should. I think that I'm still like
remember when you were a kid and you were never
gonna die. I'm still a little bit like that. I
still feel a teeny bit untouchable. But except now my
body is falling apart at a rapid pace. So soon
(18:25):
my mind will catch up to the fact that this
is a temporary vessel.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
But as for now, you know, I'm gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I think if you, if you were nicer to wait
as you could live forever.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I am nice to waiterstient, but not that bitch. I
will never be nice to him. I don't care for
his behavior.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Do you know his name? Do you ever asked his name?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I haven't, but I bet I can.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I see his name tag and it's like empty, it's
la la, I'll never remember.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
What do you think happens when you die? Do you
think there's enough to life? Oh?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Brett fucking I used to live in Amsterdam and a
million years ago we were all friends with this guy
who cooked his own everything so you could get really
clean drugs off of them.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You meant like you're in everything.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Oh no, no, I mean something much worse than that, sweetheart.
He cooked his own drugs, so like, so if you
wanted e. No, someone's like leaf blowing and I'm like,
is this gonna be a real thing?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Can you hear it as loud as fuck? Oh? Great?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
No one's blowing anything. Sorry, I said it like that.
The guy is cooking his own stuff. So he's like, okay,
So there is this drug called d MT. You know DMT,
and he's like, it's the release. It occurs naturally in
human beings and also plants, and it's released by your
(20:01):
brain when you're born and when you die.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
So it's why people.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
When you're as well. But it was just when you die.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Sir, both, So it's why people think, you know, there's
an afterlife is this compound.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
So we smoked that shit, and I okay.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So when you smoke DMPT, the same thing happens to everyone.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
You you know, like, leave this world and you go
to you know, crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Town, and it is a beautiful, beautiful wall. The wall is,
you know, the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. So
you can either talk to the wall or you can
go through it. If you talk to the wall, the
wall has all of life's answers, so you can talk
to it and you can know everything. Or you can
walk through the wall and it's like, you know, magical
(20:51):
and little beings show you things. And that's the same thing.
It happens to everyone who's ever smoked DMPT. Well, if
you smoke enough of it, if you just smoke a little,
you just have a crazy time. But if you smoke
enough of it, that's what happens. So Brett, long story longer,
I smoke this shit first time. It was just a
little scary. And then the second time I got to
(21:14):
the wall, the wall is like this neon. I'll never
be able to explain it, this neon bunch of squares
that has like pretty people in them. So I'm talking
to this wall, the wall. I ask it what happens
when you die? And the wall tells me it's basically this,
(21:35):
and I go, well, this is nice and all, but like,
how long is it? Like what's time? And the wall
goes time works in a way that you can't grasp
and I go, okay, well where is it? And it
goes well, like if your two fingers were to touch,
like the space in between, like rite exactly where you are,
but also a completely different dimension.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I was like fuck. And then I said, well, how
does it feel?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Because remember how people are like, well, well I'm dead,
but I'm gonna miss my family and they're looking down on.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Me and blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
I said, oh, well, that sounds like torture, and that
can't possibly be true of the afterlife, right, I'm not
gonna be dead thinking about my children, right, that would
be horrible. And the wall goes, no, you absolutely won't
be and I go prove it turn off all my
feelings for everyone I've ever known and loved.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And it did.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, bring
it back, bring it back, and it did. So I'm
pretty sure you end up exactly where you are when
you smoke DMT. Because also, that high last twenty minutes.
But when I was in there, I was talking to
that thing, and I said, so, you know, I can
understand how time works because we've been in here, what
(22:44):
three months? It had been twenty minutes, And when I
remember it, I remember months and months of time. But
that's not what it was, but that's what it takes up.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
In my brain.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
It was little people in the walls. But the war
was just like talking.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I never went through the white. The wall was talking.
The wall answered all my questions.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Can you do an impression of the voice of the wall?
Did it have an accent? Was it Brooklyn? Was it Brittalian?
What did the wall?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
It was my voice because it was your voice.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
It was your voice. Yeah, dude, So when you die,
you go to the wall. You can go through it,
or you can just hang out the wall some more.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I'm sure you just then you have the party.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yeah, little people party everyone everyone else went through the
wall and had the time of their lives.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
But I was like, I got all my life's questions,
he answered.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
And when your feelings were turned off for a second, Yeah,
what what that feel like?
Speaker 3 (23:40):
It was a little bit comforting because then I knew
that I wasn't going to be trapped in another realm
being like I want my mommy, you know, which to
me is the nightmare of death.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
So I mean, the only I guess sort of difficult
part is for the people left behind to know, Oh yeah,
when you lose your your loved ones, they could just
switch you off.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
I don't want anyone to die and then be like
I wish I was hanging out with the Amber. I
think that's stupid. I think that would be torture. That
would Hey guys, here, let me offer you something. The
onst thing about you. They are on a cloud having
a party with a little furry animal.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
They're having a blast.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Looking talking to this clys to the world and this
close to you right now, they're in there. I love this. Yeah, fascinating.
And when you came back, was it like sudden or
was it slowly? You're coming back to this, to this realm,
and did you feel like I want to go back?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
It was just a teeny bit slow, but because it's
naturally occurring, like I could have stood up and driven
a car. There was no like, you're not drunk in there,
and you're not crazy on drugs. You're you. But the
world has changed. So that's why I like, I can
remember everything I said. I can remember everything the wall said,
and I wasn't like feeling loopy. I had a list
(25:08):
that I had made to ask the wall, and I
asked it everything on the list.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
So you think the wall is like the edge of
the other realm. This is the door. You get to
the door, any question before you go in, and then
you go in.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh no, I'm not spiritual at all. What I think
is it's just a thing that just so happens to
happen inside of your brain, and it bends time and
it feels like eternity, but it's not. It's just a
way that your brain can misconceived time and then that
feels like forever and it makes you feel good as
(25:43):
you die.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Oh so you actually think, then you die and then
it's nothing.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yeah, oh, take.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Away from your views.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
But you know.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
You don't know that you're just you scooch in there.
It's great.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
So you're like it go come through the wall. And
then you go through the wall, it's like blackout.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Or the amount that is released in your brain makes
you feel like it's forever. Because of twenty minutes felt
like months and months. Then certainly a larger amount could
make it feel like forever, because that's what's isolated in plants.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Now, people, how old were you when this happened? How
long ago has this happened?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
It had to be two thousand and five seven, something
like that.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
So my one other question, which I think is interesting,
is your first time was well scary? What made you
do it a second time?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I got it? I had to talk to the wall.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Right, you were like, I didn't get to the wall?
Is good? Okay? Well, Amber Roughin. A lot of what
you said is true, it turns out, except for the
bit about nothing, it was all alie in your brain.
It is true. There's a heaven and it's behind the wall.
You just have to step in, Okay, step through the
wall and believe in it. But on the other side
of the wall, it's heaven. And in heaven it's filled
(26:58):
with your favorite thing, what's.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Your favorite cotton candy? Probably all right.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
The wolves are cotton candy, The couches are cotton candy.
The people are cotton candy. They float around at that.
They're not scary, they're friendly, they try and hug you.
Then they're not like damp, so they don't get all sticky.
They're just like fun, you touching mel And they're all
very excited to see the cotton candy people. And they
want to talk to you about your life. They're big fans,
(27:23):
but they want to know about your life through the
medium of film, which is odd. The first thing they
ask you is Amber Ruffin. What's the first film you
remember seeing? Amber Ruffin? They keep calling you Amber Ruffin.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
That is odd that they keep calling me that. I
think the first film I remember seeing is The Wiz
because it's just on in the house one hundred percent
of the time because you have the VHS tape. But
then for a while, like I feel like it played
every Saturday or Sunday for a while on like PBS
(27:55):
or something, but like every weekend it was on. And
also when you're sick homesick from school, you can watch
it if you want. So there's a lot of that.
But yeah, I feel like I can remember seeing The
Wiz because I remember being scared of parts of it
that are in no way scary at all.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
So I think I was quite smart.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Are you forgive me if you not knowing this? Is
it just you and your sister or do you have
other siblings?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
We have other siblings. I'm the youngest of five laciers
in the middle.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well, what do the others are? The others like, why
don't we on your podcast?
Speaker 3 (28:34):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
They know why?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
No, that's not nice. We should have the mother podcast.
But they're just gonna act bad have three of us?
My god, Well, I'm putting in a request. I would
like one episode where all five everyone.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
It's just gonna be a wall of sound.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Sorry the Wiz. Do you remember the bit thats scared you?
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Yeah, when they're down in the subway and then the
subway trash comes to life and it's like babe boo
boo boo boop and he's got those scary long arms.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
That was scary.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
I think that is scary.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I didn't like it.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Did it make you want to be a performer or anything?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I don't think it did. I feel like The Wiz
is one of the few movies. You know, you get
older and you're you're like very aware that you're watching movie.
But I think the Whiz was like before I could
be like, this is people on a set and this
is a lady named Diana Ross, and shit, I was
just like, I can't believe this is happening to these people,
(29:40):
and I get to look at it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah, I really did.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
The way I think about it even still, it's like,
when that happened to that young woman, I was really fearful.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
For her safety. What is the film that made you cry?
The micet Do you like crying? Are you a crier?
I'm a ruffian.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I am in no way a crier.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I almost never cry unless it's Gray's Anatomy. Then I'm balling,
like I know these people. God, the last time I
cry that made me cry the most.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
It has to be something, But do you remember it?
Did the wall kind of did turn off my tears?
Oh no, the truth it did though, because man, everything's
gonna be all right. But I watched a movie called
Remember that movie that's like about the delus Mortos, and
it's that little boy playing the guitar, Go Go, I
(30:45):
remember the song remember Me. That song made me cry
so fucking hard. Oh, speaking of death, that song made
me cry myself sick because then when they second again
in Spanish, I understood it a little bit that they
can be double cry. They got me, Disney will get you.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Though.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I don't think Disney should count because if Disney wants
my tears, they're gonna get them.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah. Pixar and Monsters, I think Pixar. Yeah, they're a
sort of evil organization designed to destroy us, so through tears.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Well yeah, I mean now that you say that, yeah,
you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
And I was destroyed.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, and they knew exactly what they were doing, and
they fucking targeted us. The people who are like, I
don't care, it's just the thing.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I'm trying to look cool in front of my baby Nieces,
I look like a fucking asshole crying her room there.
They don't know what death is.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
They don't know, they've not seen the world. Tell me this,
what about being scared? Now? I already know something from
your podcast, But what's the film that scared you the most?
And do you like being scared? Spoilering that? I don't
think you do.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
I felt like being scared. The world isn't scary enough place.
Every movie has scared the mess out of me. I
get nervous at the point of the movie where we
don't know if the guy's gonna make it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That I want. That makes me want to turn off
the movie every single time.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
I can't. Will he become the number one golfer in
the world.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I can't, I can't. He's facing an ounce of hardship.
I hate it. I do feel that way. But the
movie that scared me, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
So when I was a kid, how old of I
I have to be a teenager in high school? I
imagine when Scream came out, So Screama's children. Scream was
a highly anticipated film when it came out, and it
was all any teenager wanted to do. And me and
my friends, I feel like two of us snuck in,
(32:57):
but it was like eight of us. So then eight
of us were sitting in six seats, so we were
all kind of like squished into a pile.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
And that movie started.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
The only people scaredier than me are my little best friends,
and it was me and a little scared sandwich and
we were just terrified, screaming, and then I'm screaming because
she's screaming, But then I have a fresh scream because
I noticed something she didn't notice while she was screaming,
and we were just it was as if we were
(33:30):
in a studio audience, like for a live show with laughter,
but with screams of terror. It was the scaredest I've
ever felt my entire life. I was terrified during the movie.
You remember Scream, the same movie that you watched and
had the feelings you had.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
It scared the shit out of me. Terrified.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Is that the last time you watched a scary movie?
Was that? Right?
Speaker 3 (33:55):
It has to be. I don't watch a lot of
oh what I did see? I will watch every Jordan
Peele movie. Okay, So get Out was really good. It
didn't scare you like you're gonna go cry, but dang,
it scared me good. It scared me pretty good and
I didn't like it.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Oh, Candy Man was also good.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Okay, So except for Jordan Peele, that was the last
scary movie?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Probably?
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Okay, what is the film that you love but critics
don't like it? Most people don't like it, but you
stand by it unconditionedly.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Amber Rough every Adam Sandler movie, every last one of
them motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And I don't know.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
What happened because I think it might be my age.
But Adam Sandler is the fucking shit. I think he's
the funniest personal live. I love him so much, and
I remember looking up to him when you know, I
was young. He just was what comedy was and I
loved it. And I'm still like very much a piece
(34:59):
of shit in an Adam Sandler way. Like I act
as bad as I act because Adam Sandler existed.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
You are Billy Madison.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I'm a hundred percent Billy madisone like all my good
guy friends.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Know you know, my Omaha guy friends, the ones I
grew up with that.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
I'll tap you in the balls because I think it's hilarious.
Like I'm I am just a different I'm Adam Sandler,
but in a different body.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I just like I like engraved chaos.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I get it. I love that you're Billy Medicine. I
love Adam Sounds so much. He's just lovely. Yeah, he's
very funny and lovely. What a guy.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
And everyone who has worked with him is like, he's
actually a delight, and I'm like, good, I don't care
if he was bad, I still wouldn't care.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I love him. I love him too much too. It's
too late. I'm too far gone.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
On the other hand, what is a film that you
used to love, you loved so much, and then you've
reasoning and you've got I don't like this no more?
You might have changed, well.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
A lot of like I mean, my answer should be
like any of those like White Savior movies, like those stuff.
You can't you can't get through one minute of the
blind Side, you can't watch.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
It for one minute.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
But also I'm the same person who watched it and
was like, how lovely like? It didn't like change my
life or anything, but it certainly didn't set off the
myriad of alarms it should have.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
I guess a safe answer is Austin Powers probably didn't
age well.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Listen, I fucking weirdly, just this very morning was sent
someone the scene from Austin Power's gold Member where Dr
Evil and Minime Wrap hard knocked life. It isn't, And
I think to myself often is gold Member the most underratedity?
Speaker 2 (37:06):
That's a great.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Always bagging on about toy story Free have we forgotten
Cold Number?
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Oh my god? That's true. Wait, Brett, question for you,
what's the most underrated movie of all time? This is
what you do to other people?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Well, listen, I've talked about this many times on the
podcast because I still I think it's finally starting to
get it's props. But Greece too is obviously. Oh that's
stone cold masterpiece of lawless, work of genius. It wasn't
embraced at the time.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Excellent.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
What's your answer?
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Easy?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
My answer is correct. It's pop Star Never Stop Popping.
Ah fucking great, fucking brilliant, brilliant comedy. That might be
one of the funniest movies. And I can't, I cannot
believe I But you know what, I do take a
lot of solace in the fact that that movie is
exactly what they want. It turned out exactly how they
(38:05):
wanted it to turn out. Like I feel that way
about that movie. And what's the movie you can only
watch once because it's so horrible American History X.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Like those two movies and they had.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
They were a lot of doll.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It made me feel exactly the way they wanted.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Me to feel. I'm like, you did it. I don't
ever have to see American History X.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Again. You know what there is shockgo Steve Martin's Shockgirl.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Oh that's a clear sir, sir. Oh yeah, well received.
I could watch that again.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful, phil beauty.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Sorry, Oh but wait, let's what time is it? Forty
three minutes for me to imitate your accent? It took
forty three minutes, and I feel pretty.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Good about that.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
I'm sort of impressed.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
I made a conscious note to not repeat the way
you sound back to you, and it took forty three
I almost made it, almost made it.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I'm impressed. I think I was expecting it earlier and
I was going to embrace it. I was happy. I
made a conscious note some place is going to do
your voice and you're going to have to enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
That kind of goes with me and anybody now that
I think about it.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
What is the film that means the most to you?
But not necessarily because the film is good, but because
the experience you had seeing the film will always make
it special to you.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Amber Ruffin, thank you for asking.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
The film is probably Black Panther two because I saw
the first Black Panther and I was like, I will
devote my life to this franchise, and I'm going to
try to have a career that makes them. Let me
(39:58):
go to the premiere of Black Panther two, because I
know there's kind of be sick.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
After that movie came out.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I really worked hard and then I got to go
to the New York premiere of Black Panther two, and
it was a fucking dream. Everybody was there and I
got to look at all of them, talk to everybody,
and I fucking everyone was, Oh my god, this happened
(40:26):
at that premiere.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Minding my own business.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Me and my little girlfriend Joeyell are in the corner
laughing and whispering about this, and that Maxwell comes up
to me and says, hey, aren't you Amber Ruffin. Wow,
I really enjoy your work. I grabbed this man so
hard by the hand. I was like, oh my god, Maxwell,
I love you so fucking bad. And Maxwell laughs and
(40:49):
he goes, you talk how you talk? I was like, yeah,
it sounds silly, and I'm sorry, I love you so bad.
And then the whole movie as a whole role a
bit I'm not doing a bit tarier sound sorry. It'd
(41:12):
be a pretty weird bit to do, but it would
be like me to have a bit and then just
do it forever.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Good.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's something I would do.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
But yeah, and then we sat in a row of
like black celebrities like Ascended to Heaven. I couldn't even
tell you what happened in that movie. I was just like, yeah, yeah,
we did it. Yay, I should go back.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
You're at the after party, everyone that asks you to
your favorite bit, You're like, I wasn't. I didn't. I
didn't pay any attention to the film. So sorry, I
was just I was just having a beer.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Just looking at Queen Lativa. Sorry, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
That's nice. Well that's a fucking motivating thing in it. Now,
that's a good way to get out of bed. In it.
If I work hard enough, I get to go to
the Black Panther too premier. But then what do you
do now? Now you've achieved your dream, you just sort
of take it easy.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
I mean, yeah, and I should be working harder. You're right,
but you need a new goal, I do. Do you
have one for me?
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Yes? Okay, my new goal for you is that you
develop your acting career. Right. Well, however you want to
do it. It's not up to me how you achieve this?
But I want you to do a dramatic part in
a film opposite Jeff Bridges.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Opposite Jeff Bridges, Okay, I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
I think you two together is what cinema needs.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Doesn't he seem like good people?
Speaker 1 (42:39):
He does, absolutely, That's why I think you'd be good together.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
I do feel like I could get along with Jeff Bridges.
Yeah for a little while. Then I get on his nerves.
But for just like a short shoot, I could do it.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Yeah, like a five weeks shoot. You just got to
behave for five weeks. I can do that one way.
I don't flick him in the bulls if I may
put that, are.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
We becoming close or not? Wait? Why you gotta tie
my hands like this?
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I just think for the five weeks she's probably sensible.
He seems like such a lovely guy. But I don't
know if he'd enjoy that. But who might to say?
You try it, agree to disagree? Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Jeff Bridges is like, oh my balls, think it, but
you did it perfect, perfect, they'll write it in the script.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Okay, what is the film he most relates to hamber Roughing.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
The film I most relate to is a special condo film.
I'm never Oh, yes I have. The film I most
related to is fucking Jumping Jack Flash one thousand percent.
I am woo Pee Goldberg and Jumping Jack Flash to
(44:00):
a fucking tea. That's exactly who I am in real life.
I could see all of that happening to me. But also,
like when I was a kid and I was watching
that movie, like, I don't know that I'd be doing
this without having seen Jumping Jackflash, cause like, you're not
supposed to be a black girl who's a little androgynous,
(44:26):
who has kinky hair, who is very very silly, Like
you're not supposed to be any of those things. And
there wasn't that combination. It was a long time after
Jumping Jackflash that I saw a second one of those,
and so I held onto that and I squeezed all
the juice out of it because I needed an example
(44:49):
so bad, and I would reest. I reach back to
that movie today and I'm like, remember she was doing it,
Remember she was talking like that and dressing like that,
and it's perfectly fine. But yeah, jump in Jack Flash.
Final answer, great answer.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, what's the premise of Jumpy Jack Fast? I saw
it when I was very little.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, she that's a great question.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
It's like she gets into trouble, right, and she's got
to fix some business in the city.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
She is reached by a man who is British and
he is getting her to like deliver the film or
get the goods or you know, do some heist for him.
And they can only communicate online, which was a very
(45:38):
big deal back then, so it's just her. It's like
a one lady heist. So it's really really cute. And
then you would think that they'd like fall in love
a little bit, but I'm ninety percent sure this is true.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
They do not.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
And it's just like that thing you know sometimes in
movies when people are a little gay and then they
like just like share a knowing glance and then that's it.
It's like that because that's kind of about like a
mainstream black women were back then. It was just like,
I'm not sexual in any way, but hello, and it's.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Look, I can look into the distance. Have you ever
met with me, Goberg? I did did you tell her this?
Speaker 2 (46:23):
No?
Speaker 3 (46:24):
When I met Woopi Goldberg, I did exactly this.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
I love you, I love you, I love you. Okay,
I love you.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
I love you, I love you, I love you, I
love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
And left. I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
I could only say I love you when I said
it for it to night while she was going, oh,
thank you so much, thanks, that's so nice.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Okay, great, what's your name? Oh? All right? What's your name? Okay?
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Yeah, I love you you but all right in your name?
And it was a full nightmare. But also I didn't care.
I love her so bad.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
I bet she turned to her friendly. She talks like
that in real life, I hope. So I have a
roughiin what is the sexiest film ever made? The sexiest?
Speaker 2 (47:16):
I truly do not have an answer.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Get out of here. I don't accept it.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Uh, yeah, you're right. The sexiest film is magic, Mike.
The sexiest film isn't, as yet unmade film where it's
like a queer black lady.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
I haven't the sexiest film. I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Gosh what could it be? But for real, wait, let's
just think for one fucking second. Oh you know, what's sexy?
What was sexy? And also the film I've seen more
than any other film Spanglish, idam a Sandler and beautiful
(48:07):
Lady Penelope Cruz also like, I don't know how that
is if I were to watch it today, But OK,
but I when I lived in Amsterdam, it was I
had one DVD and it was Spanglish. I didn't buy it,
it was just in the apartment. So I watched that.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Mug all of the time.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
And then I started to love it, and then it
became part of my routine. And then when I got
back to America, it was like the Sunday that every
Sunday it would be like overboard and Spanglish. I watch
it all the time. But like watching them be like
flirting a little and being in love but not being
(48:45):
able to really talk about it, that really got me.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
I enjoyed it. I thought, oh god, I hope they
kiss on the mails then, not to ruin it, but
they kissed them.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
Well are you going to handle the subcategory which is
traveling by worrying white ones? A film you found arousing
that you weren't sure you should. That's such a film exists.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
A film that I was aroused by to hear me
say it is hilyrious. See let's see this think less
think Oh am, I roused by Oh my god, yes,
the real answer please is Little Monsters. Oh so she's
(49:31):
so gorgeous in it. She's gorgeous. I feel like that.
That got me. Even though she's like twenty, I'm running
from the thing and all covered and blowed.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
I was like, she's.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Hot, She's yeah, she is unbelievable. Okay, that is a
really good answer. Hey, we did it. Hey, what is
objectively the greatest film of all time and might not
be your favorite?
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Very Gordy's the Last Dragon? It is, Oh, Darling Brett Rebrettiford,
that's your full name, Bredifford, Rebrediford.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
It is a movie from nineteen eighty four.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
I'm gonna say, with Timeak and vanity, you can't call
it a blaxploitation movie because it's made in nineteen eighty
It has him in the soundtrack, but it is the song, oh,
you know, the song Philip beat of the Rhythm of
the Night instant that the barge song is in the soundtrack. Now,
(50:39):
back in the eighties, there was like this whole bunch
of movies where it's like all it's like black people.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
In music, you know.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
It was like, you know, break in and break into
electric Boogloo and this was in there, and like Beat Street,
this was in that Schlana films and it was about
a young kung black kung fu master who falls in
love with a pop star and then has to save
her from the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Have you ever heard the phrase who's the master?
Speaker 3 (51:16):
Show? Noof have you ever heard that show? Nuf is
the bad guy from Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. I
got to see this, Oh buddy, it's so beautiful. I
feel like I love it because I'm not like old
enough to love it for real, but because I'm the
youngest of five. My older sisters would watch it all
(51:38):
the time and quote it all the time. And you know,
this was like a really big deal for them because
this was like the first black movie that they were
old enough to go to to like go to the
movie and see us so and you know, they describe
it as like the theater was packed and everyone was
screaming about this and that and yelling and standing in rah.
(52:01):
So it was a very big deal to them, And
I think that vibe was kind of in the room
as we were watching it in the living room growing up. Oh,
in the Amber Ruffins show for the for one Halloween episode,
I dressed up as show Enough and it made Arrek
dress up as the last Dragon, Bruce Leroy, Bruce Lee Roy.
And then they had the forty year re release DVD
(52:26):
and me and Lacey did DVD commentary on it. Well, yay,
because we love that freaking movie.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
That is a really, really good answer. You're going to
get twenty points for Yes.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
So done, Yayne, you've started scoring. Yes. What is the
film that you could or have watched the most over
and over again?
Speaker 3 (52:53):
Well, that's spanglish Alreadie biffed it. I've seen that movie
more times than I cocc count. And second is Overboard.
I've seen Overboard a million times. Anytime I click past it,
I know exactly how far along in the film we are.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
I love.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
I just feel like, yeah, I might have seen it
the most, but it is the most shown movie of
all time. I bet, I bet a billion dollars every
I think they just made a deal to be shown
across every fucking platform. It is constantly on. It's constant,
and it's right because the movie's great.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
We don't like to be negative, do we. But what's
the worst film you've ever seen? You can do this
one quickly.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
Oh my god, what is that movie? I'll never remember it?
Oh fuck ah, dang it, it's let's see if we
can get there. It's the movie.
Speaker 2 (53:45):
Fuck, there's no way to describe it. That's like it
I have no answers for you.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
It's like, oh oh, it's like it's like Spain or
like like like my Yorca or what what is the movie?
Speaker 2 (54:01):
And it's like, oh, no, it has the vibe of Brazil.
Am I right?
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Brazil?
Speaker 2 (54:09):
Is it? Brazil?
Speaker 1 (54:10):
Brazil is your worst film made? Brazil? The Terry Gillian film.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
Uh abs a fucking lutely, this dumb piece of shit
wasted my goddamn time.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Everybody I know I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
Oh, if you like films, you've got to see Brazil.
The dumbest shit, the dumbest shit on planet Earth, truly
is The Emperor Has No Clothes, the dumbest shit I've
ever fucking seen.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Made me so goddamn mad. That's the worst. That's the worst.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
It's the worst movie of all time, so fucking stupid,
What a waste of everyone's time. And also like it
just makes me mad because you know, so many people
had better ideas than that. So it's only saving grace
is that it's a big swing. I love a big swing.
I try not to cuss out a big swing. But
it's everyone else's fault of mine, the amount these people
(55:01):
talk this thing.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
On My whole life. People are talking about this ship and.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
I saw it not too long ago for the first time,
so mad. I cussed the whole movie out and I
waited brit I thought, oh, it'll come around, and it
never did.
Speaker 2 (55:17):
So stupid, so stupid. Everyone who likes it is bad.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
Did not expect that. Outside I'm so good, I would
never have. I'm really really bad of you. You're in comedy,
You're very funny, You're you're paid for it. What is
the film that made you laugh the most?
Speaker 3 (55:35):
You know? What I saw recently is it's a film
by Julio Torres and it is called Problemsta. Oh my god,
who my favorite Shapes is one of the best things
I've ever seen, But Problemsta.
Speaker 2 (55:51):
I just went saw it and it made me laugh
so hard.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
I just think he's so special, and he's so brilliant,
and everything he does is exactly what he wants to
be doing, and nang how he found people to let
him do whatever he feels.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
That's a miracle. Miracle.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
That's nice.
Speaker 3 (56:12):
Yeah, that's such a pretty movie. And it made me
laugh so hard, and I saw it in the theater,
so then it was the first time I was like, oh,
I'm old because these children were laughing at things where
I was like, I don't know that.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
The joke is they missed me because I'm old.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Amber Ruffin, you've been beyond to delight as expected. However,
oh shit, when you went to the cheesecake factory, no,
the first one in Beverly Hills, the two hundred and
eighth one at the Grove, and you've been there for
the fiftieth time and you got the same waiter that
you don't respect enough to even check his name. But
(56:55):
what you do know is you don't like it. And
you said, ah, buddy, i'm going to need a table
for ten. It's just for me. I want the space.
He goes, we're kind of busy to not you go listen,
just put me on the table. I'm not going to
be here long. And he goesugh, puts you on the table.
You order your cheesecakes. I'll have five cheesecakes. And he goes, yeah, well,
that's what we do here, obviously, and you go, but
(57:15):
I'm going to need the bread. He goes off. Two
minutes later, he's walking past trying to save someone else.
You go, hey, there's my bread, buddy, and he goes,
my name's not buddy. Well you never learned my lady.
He goes, I ain't got time to learn your name.
Just give me my bread, and he walks past again.
One minute later, you go, buddy, and he goes, my
name is not buddy, and you go get me my bread, asshole,
(57:35):
before my cheesecakes come. I'm not gonna have time to
eat my bread. You know, me a mamber roughing. This
is how I treat waiters. And he goes, god, you're
so nice to the other way and he goes, yeah,
that's not you, buddy. He walks off. He goes into
the kitchen now and think, and he goes, you know
what I'm fed. I've been treated this way by these
fucking Hollywood elites. And he comes back out with a
loaf of brown bread and he goes, you want your bread.
(57:57):
You want your bread over ruff And you say, yeah,
that's what my bread. And he goes, so here's your
bread and you got good. And then he stuffs the
loaf of bread into your face. It covers your eyes,
It covers your eye. It pushes really really hard, and
it sort of caused the bread into your mouth, and
the whole locos is stuck into your throat and he
keeps pushing and pushing, and because of the vacuum it
created with the air that was pushed inside of your stomach,
(58:20):
your stomach explodes all over the way. He's covered in
your blood and guts and bread, and he goes, good, good,
He's breathless good. And I'm walking past with a coffin.
You know what I'm like, And I goes, everyone see Amber,
and I look over at this way is covered in
your blood and guts, and he goes, he just points
(58:41):
at your fucking opening corpse, and I go, oh, wow, Jesus, sorry,
everyone enjoy it. Don't mind me. Enjoy your cheesecakes. And
I come over and there goes she can't put me
off my cheesecake. I don't worry. The cheesecakes goods. And
then I grab you. I go to the way to listen.
We're gonna have to like fit her in this coffin
and he goes, oh, help, gives me a load of knives.
Start chopping you up, bits, chopping up bread nights, chopping
(59:02):
up we stuff you in the coffin. And he's like
his elbowing your bits into the coffin. He is, by
the way, no remorse from this guy, just the best
day of his life. And so I've pushed you on
in and I go, jeez, I go anyway man, he goes,
He goes, Do I get a tip? Fucking hell man,
(59:23):
Sure of course, I give him some money. Take you off. Now.
The coffin is full, is jabbed. There's no room in
this coffin. There's only enough room for me to slip
one DVD in the side for you to take across
to the other side. And on the other side, it's
movie night every night. What film are you taking to
show that candy floss people of Heaven when it is
your movie night? Amber Ruffin go.
Speaker 3 (59:43):
Okay, Well, because they're candy floss, which is a cotton can,
insane way to say cotton candy. Because they're Papa's beard people,
I think I would show them fucking wait wait, wait, Xanad.
(01:00:05):
I will be taking xanad excellent film. It's good for
fun and I feel like candy. People would love to
watch Sana do.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I think that's absolutely right. That's forty points, that's sixty points.
Ever after you did it, is there anything you would
like to tell people to look out for, to listen to,
to watch, Yeah in the coming months.
Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Look out for Bears, they're everywhere. Listen to your parents.
They love you. Look Out four though Whiz. I re
wrote it and it is on Broadway right now. You
can go see it. Look Out Serious. It's true, true,
(01:00:46):
it's out there, it's happening. It's the most fun. It's
guaranteed a good time. It's the funnest, blackest shit that
will ever happen to you in your dang life. It's
so fun the ways. Look out for Late Night with
Stupid Tough Myers. Look out for the Amber and Lacy
Lacy and Amber Show. That's a podcast and it's cute
and it's where you are right now, and you know,
(01:01:08):
look out for traffic.
Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
And I love you.
Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
I love you, Amber Raffin, thank you so much for
doing this. You've been brilliant. I have a wonderful time
at the wall and I will see you there saying
good night, good death.
Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
Oh goodbye.
Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
So that was episode three hundred and five. Head over
to the Patreon at patreon dot com. Forward to last
breakhostening the extra secret chat and videos with Amber go
jackle podcasts give us a vive style writing, but right
about the film. It means the most to you and
why it's a lovely thing to read. My neighbor Marien
loves it. Always makes her cry and it's very much appreciated.
I hope you're all well. Thank you very much for listening.
Thank you so much to Amber for doing the show,
(01:01:48):
Thanks to scrubys Pip and the distraction pieces nearby. Thanks
to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to iHeartMedia and
Wilferrell's Big Money Players Network posting it. Thanks to Adam
Richardson for the graphics. At least ald them with the
photography on me next week for another incredible episode. But
that is it for now. Thank you all for listening,
and in the meantime, have a good week and please,
(01:02:10):
now more than ever, be excellent to each other.
Look out. It's only films to be buried with. Hello,
and welcome to Films to be buried with. My name
is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, director,
(00:20):
a bobblehead, and I love films. As Noam Chomsky once said,
I was never aware of any other option but to
question everything, except for during the film The Beast, I
had no questions watching that. It was very clear to me.
Me too, I loved it nice one. Every week I
invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died.
Then I get them to discuss their life through the
films that meant the most of them. Previous guests include
(00:40):
Barry Jenkins, Mark Frost, Sharon Stone, Jamie Lajamal and even
bed Dambles. But this week it is the brilliant and
wonderful it's Amber Ruffin. Head over to the patrion dot
com forward slash break Goldstein, where you get about extra
twenty minutes of chat with Amber, you get a secret
from her. You also get the whole episode uncut, ad
free and does a video. Check it out over at
(01:02):
patreon dot com forwards. Last Brett Goldstein, So Amber Ruffin, Oh,
she is a brilliant comic. She's a late night host.
She's an actor, she's a writer, and she is now
currently the host alongside her hister, Lacy Lamar, of the
Amber and Lacey Lacy and Amber Show, a weekly podcast
produced by Our Heart Media and Will Farrel's Big Money
Players Network. Me and Amber had met a few times.
I love her. She's fucking great and it was so
(01:23):
nice to be able to hang out with her for
a while on zoom. We recorded this a few weeks ago,
and what a great time. I think you're going to
love this one. So that is it for now. I
very much hope you enjoy episode three hundred and five
of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to
(01:49):
Films to be Buried With. It is me Brett Goldstein
and I enjoined today by an actor, a writer, and
late night a superstar, a podcast, a person with her
name in the title of a show, a person who
works with her sister, a legend, the io, the boom, Chicn'go,
(02:10):
the seth Meyers, the TV, the radio, the stage. If
you've seen her, you can't believe her. She's real. She's here.
I can't believe it. She's a legend in her own lifetime.
Please welcome to the show. It's the Brilliants that a rubbidh.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
That intro was not long enough.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
I ran out of breath.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Brett, Hi, I love you so bad.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I love you so bad. I'm so happy to have
you here. Tell me everything to this morning. I listen
to your latest podcast. You do a podcast with your sister.
I think it's very nice that you do it with
your sister. You're both very funny together. I like that
it seems like there's no plan. It's just two sisters
being very very funny together. Dude, I'm saying everything.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
We were like calling each other every day and that
it takes an hour to say everything that needs to
be said. Yeah, and we were like, some fool pay
us to do this shit, and then.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
We found one and they do and it's so fun.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
It's so fun. It's really fun. And then I wondered
if I haven't listened to all of them. I've listened
to a few of them. I wondered, if you ever
have like proper family feuds and they end up in
the podcast, or if you've ever fallen out. You seem
incredibly close. Have you ever not been close? What happens
then to.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
The rest of the family. No, man, I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I don't say anything. I just use cuss words. And
then every time I go home, I get in trouble.
But I'm too old to be so it's fine.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Also, I like that you know the words to the
Gumming Bears theme tune, and you're correct. It's the best.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It's the best, it's the best. It's the most beautiful
theme song.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
And they worked really hard on that, and they don't
do theme songs like that anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
These children don't know, they don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Everything moves so fast. It's very sad. Also, the connection
that we have is that you did Boom Chicago with
the likes of your Brendan Hunt and your Jason Sideki's
true or False and Joe Kelly.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I did Boom Chicago with none of those people.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Actually they were all. I did Boom Chicago.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Much later than them, much later than Joe Kelly and
Jason Sadeikis. But I did overlap one day with Brendan
like his last week was my first week, and.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
He has been writing that story. Oh do I in
the bank one day crossover be and over raffish best
friends for life work together for years.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Brettan Hunt did though, I wrote a musical version of
a documentary called King of Kong. It's the best documentary
of all time, and agreed. I wrote it with my
friend Lauren and and Brendan directed it and it is
the best documentary of all time.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
And then we me and my friend.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
So the documentary King of Kong a fistful of Quarters
is about two grown men vying to see who can
become the Donkey Kong Champion of the world the arcade game.
And there's one guy who's a angel center Earth, and
then there's one guy who is the devil himself. And
it's a documentary, so none of this is planned. They
just happened upon the nicest guy and the worst guy.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So I play.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
It's a two man musical where we play all of
the parts, but mostly I play the bad guy and
my best friend she plays the good guy. So Brendan
Hunt directed it and it is the best thing you
can see and do his best, absolute best. Will will
you bring it back take it the Broadway? We absolutely
(05:53):
will not, because we got told by the people who
produced it to stop doing it. They came to see
it and they were like, we like it and it's
good and you did a good job. The two of
you can do it sometimes, but you can't be making
money off it and you can't like have other people
(06:14):
perform it.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
And we were like, Okay, yeah, doesn't that suck well?
Speaker 4 (06:19):
And that's because I think that's a secret Breton, I'm whispering.
I think that is because they were going to make
a musical about it, and that was like ten years
ago at this point, so I think that musical fell apart,
and my musical is ready to go. I'm gonna write down,
(06:40):
call my Broadway agent, see if we can't get that
one bad.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I didn't stop. Mm hmm, you crazy. They basically came
to see your show. They were like, fuck, this is
much better than the show we've been writing. That's it.
They're like, fuck, well, we'll just tell them they can
never do it. No one will ever see this better show.
And then they did their show and it was shit,
and then they're like, fuck, I wish Amber would call
(07:04):
and we could just say we wrote her show.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I wrote so many Piece of Ship musicals before there,
and Brendan Hut was in all them, but King Dong
was that one of them.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
That was a good one.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
How did you end up and how did you cope with? Here?
Is a serious if I may ask you one serious
question because of how the world is. I always i'm
sort of always impressed with people who do kind of
satire and political humor because I know people are fucking
horrible and scary online, etc. And doing something like The
(07:42):
Daily Show or Late Night, I think you get a
lot of very scary at least things pointed towards you.
And I wonder doing your first late night show, which
was which is fucking excellent, and I want you to
do it forever and ever. You seem like a very lovely,
fun liked person. But that's scary stuff that guys with that, I imagine,
(08:03):
how do you deal with that? If at all?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
I am very lucky and that I am so black
and so lady and so left that the haters don't
really reach me that easily, Like then I'm gonna see
my black face and my kinky here and click on it.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't think that's e me, So.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I really like I live in this area kind of
outside them. The worst I'll get was like I did
a bit about something and it was like everything I
used to do on the air. Rufford Show would be
like it had a silent now kids before it. You know,
it was just kind of like as if I was
(08:52):
talking to kids.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
You know, it was a.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Whole odd vibe and h if you take what I
do outside of that, it kind of just seems insane.
So only learn that a little too late. And then
you know, we started writing to kind of cover it up.
So like for a while there that gap. They liked
to rip me a new one inside of the gap
(09:14):
of that. And I'm like, yeah, if you don't know,
that's where I'm coming from, you right?
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Interesting? And how was it going from being a writer
to being the head person? How is it managing the people?
How is that part of it?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Well, it wasn't absolutely nothing, because it was the exact
same thing we would do at late night, Seth. It
was all the same people, like anytime you had a bit.
Anytime we do have a bit on late night, we
write it, we give it to Seth. He goes, okay,
and that's the only part of it that's missing. Then
we take the script, we go to wardrobe and go,
(09:53):
I need to be a dinosaur. Then we go to
audio and go, I need a dinosaur roar. Then we
go to you know whatever and go, I need a package,
an opening package that's like a dinosaur smashing through the town.
And then I call my friend Schmole on the phone.
I go write a dinosaur song that goes like this,
Roora rora, I'm a dinosaur. And then we have it
(10:14):
already by you know. So we've always been we had this,
hand the script to que cards and then they do it.
We've done everything from the very beginning, so this was
just like the same, but you have way more time
to do it because it was only every Friday instead
of every day.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
So I was like, this is the easiest job I've
ever had.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
It should be forty times as hard, but it really wasn't,
because you know what you like, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
You just do that. God no idea.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
It was so fucking easy, but so easy, especially after
you did Boom Chicago, where people would shout out lemon
and you look in three hundred people in the face
and you go, okay, a song about lemons in the
style of reggae and you have to sing that shit right.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Now, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Instead of that, you can sit down take days men
to write a thing. It's the luxury of lifetime. It
really is.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I'm right on the board. Things that rhyme with lemon
that can be a whole day. You can.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
There's a rhyme zone which I do often.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Rhyme zone. Okay, so now you do a podcast with
your sister and are you going to get back on stage?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Am I ever going to get back on stage? Great question?
Probably because I don't get enough attention.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I feel that for you.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Also, I don't like the thought of memorizing anything is
terrifying now because now I don't seen que cards.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And I'm so mad that anyone has to live without.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Them, and I'm willing to take this harshest stance Brett.
Everyone who does a show of any kind without que
cards is bad and dumb. They're bad and dumb. Why stress?
You don't have to stress all. You could just be
looking at a cue card and I know what you're thinking, Well,
then the sight lines will be off. Guess the fuck what?
(12:08):
We already fixed it. Every late night person can fix
your cue card so that they're in your sightlines. Any
show could do it. Everyone should be doing it. Shouldn't
be the silly stories about who's the who's old old
Italian man, stories about old Italian man having people like
wear his lines on their shirt and stuff and refreshed shots.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
And sit malon Brandai.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Yeah, do you think that it's good that I call
them old Italian guy are bad?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I don't know if it's accurate.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I don't know that it's agate, but I do think
it's good.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
But it sounds like it is. Here's the thing, okay, listeners,
I don't know that I agree or disagree. I'm just
thinking it through. So you're saying, we go, and by
the way, I would never do this, but let's say
we were people that guys see Shakespeare play. I would
never do this voluntarily unless I had to either the
gun to my head. But great, Oh it's great a
(13:03):
Shakespeare play. Right, you're saying, do the Shakespeare play. But
there's a geezer mid row. Mid Row is holding up
and these cards are heavy. They got a lot on it.
But he's just nestled in the mid middle of the audio.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Brett, you get me.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Finally someone understands what even trying to say. Yes, Yes,
it's fine.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I don't think it's a bad idea.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
It's a good idea. Take some of the pressure.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Because the mad thing is when people go and see
people in plays. I know this for a fact. One
of the things that an audience, if they meet them afterwards,
will always say. They won't say, oh wow, that was amazing,
such an amazing actor, that say how do you learn all
those lines? And the actor thinks, fuck you, that's the
least of the job. So if we have the Q cards,
then then the actor will finally start getting some respect
(14:00):
for the acting rather than just learning all those lines.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Brett finally someone who sees things my way. Yes, you
are right, and I am right, and we are right.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
But the only place I would say maybe don't like
is if you're you're an improviser, if you're doing stand up.
Let's say, I don't want to see you with Q
cards because you don't have to remember your lines. I
don't mind if you forget your lines. It'll be funny.
If you forget your lines, then you can just be
funny about something else. Talk about lemons again, go back
(14:31):
to the old safety levels.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
You're right, you also wouldn't want to blow the punchlines.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, people looking at the gays in the middle right
whispering to their wife much going to be interesting. I've
forgotten to tell you something, and it's mad that I
forgot to tell you this. I should have said it earlier, actually,
(15:00):
but maybe sort of catching up, I'll just say it.
You've died, You're dead, You're dead.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Right, right, that's true, I have to Yeah, I died
exactly the way you think. I was at cheesecake factory
and I had asked for my fifth loaf of brown bread.
And the waiter I get every time, not the fun one,
the mean one. He took the loaf, the fifth loaf
(15:32):
of brown bread, and he shoved it down my throat
and I died.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
It was a murder. It was really violent.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
And I can't say that I didn't deserve it, because
I was kind of pressing him.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But you don't fucking bring me my brown bread when
I say bring it to me.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I don't have all day after read beneath his brown
bread so that I can eat my buffalo blast.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Either way, I died.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So you pushed the main ways a little too hot,
and you said bring me by brown bread, and he
brought you your brown bread, and he's stuffed a life
into your face. So it's sort of I'm assuming some
of it spread out the middle, went into your esophagus. Yeah,
cut off the air. He pushed it down. You explained it. Yeah,
(16:16):
I mean that were the rather baby there or you
were just one it?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
No, I was there.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
I was like there by myself, like taking up a
whole table, which also got on his nerves.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
So what was the rest you were trying to get to?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Well? See bread, They're going to bring out the main
course whenever it's done, so you only have that interim
time to eat bread. So the faster the bread comes,
the more you can eat. But if he's slow on
the bread, they're not going to continue bringing bread after
your main course comes.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So he's got to go fast.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Also, like, this is my fiftieth time with this specific
guy at this specific cheesecake factory, so he ought to
nobody now to not be messing with you.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Is it the one in the ground.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I live in New York?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Otherwise it would be because I have gone to that
one a million times. It's not as good as the
one in Beverly Hills, which is the one I love
and also quite possibly the first cheesecake factory. Now we're
both sitting at computers right now, we will never know
what I do.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Not touch the keyboard, don't touch it.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
But in my heart, it's the original.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I can't imagine the first factory. It seems like they
were born as a group, you know what I mean,
Like you can't imagine one cheesecake factory and they go, well,
I think we're done here. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
They just all sprouted at the same time, like a
field of cabbage patch kids.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, imagine just the first one on its own, just
on its own, looking like a chain, but it's one.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
It would be flooded with people clamoring from all over
the globe.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well, I'm sort of I'm devastated. Did do you worry
about death?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Some times I do a little bit, but not enough,
not like I should. I think that I'm still like
remember when you were a kid and you were never
gonna die. I'm still a little bit like that. I
still feel a teeny bit untouchable. But except now my
body is falling apart at a rapid pace. So soon
(18:25):
my mind will catch up to the fact that this
is a temporary vessel.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
But as for now, you know, I'm gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I think if you, if you were nicer to wait
as you could live forever.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I am nice to waiterstient, but not that bitch. I
will never be nice to him. I don't care for
his behavior.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Do you know his name? Do you ever asked his name?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I haven't, but I bet I can.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I see his name tag and it's like empty, it's
la la, I'll never remember.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
What do you think happens when you die? Do you
think there's enough to life? Oh?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Brett fucking I used to live in Amsterdam and a
million years ago we were all friends with this guy
who cooked his own everything so you could get really
clean drugs off of them.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You meant like you're in everything.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Oh no, no, I mean something much worse than that, sweetheart.
He cooked his own drugs, so like, so if you
wanted e. No, someone's like leaf blowing and I'm like,
is this gonna be a real thing?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Can you hear it as loud as fuck? Oh? Great?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
No one's blowing anything. Sorry, I said it like that.
The guy is cooking his own stuff. So he's like, okay,
So there is this drug called d MT. You know DMT,
and he's like, it's the release. It occurs naturally in
human beings and also plants, and it's released by your
(20:01):
brain when you're born and when you die.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
So it's why people.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
When you're as well. But it was just when you die.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Sir, both, So it's why people think, you know, there's
an afterlife is this compound.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
So we smoked that shit, and I okay.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So when you smoke DMPT, the same thing happens to everyone.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
You you know, like, leave this world and you go
to you know, crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Town, and it is a beautiful, beautiful wall. The wall is,
you know, the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. So
you can either talk to the wall or you can
go through it. If you talk to the wall, the
wall has all of life's answers, so you can talk
to it and you can know everything. Or you can
walk through the wall and it's like, you know, magical
(20:51):
and little beings show you things. And that's the same thing.
It happens to everyone who's ever smoked DMPT. Well, if
you smoke enough of it, if you just smoke a little,
you just have a crazy time. But if you smoke
enough of it, that's what happens. So Brett, long story longer,
I smoke this shit first time. It was just a
little scary. And then the second time I got to
(21:14):
the wall, the wall is like this neon. I'll never
be able to explain it, this neon bunch of squares
that has like pretty people in them. So I'm talking
to this wall, the wall. I ask it what happens
when you die? And the wall tells me it's basically this,
(21:35):
and I go, well, this is nice and all, but like,
how long is it? Like what's time? And the wall
goes time works in a way that you can't grasp
and I go, okay, well where is it? And it
goes well, like if your two fingers were to touch,
like the space in between, like rite exactly where you are,
but also a completely different dimension.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I was like fuck. And then I said, well, how
does it feel?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Because remember how people are like, well, well I'm dead,
but I'm gonna miss my family and they're looking down on.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Me and blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
I said, oh, well, that sounds like torture, and that
can't possibly be true of the afterlife, right, I'm not
gonna be dead thinking about my children, right, that would
be horrible. And the wall goes, no, you absolutely won't
be and I go prove it turn off all my
feelings for everyone I've ever known and loved.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And it did.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, bring
it back, bring it back, and it did. So I'm
pretty sure you end up exactly where you are when
you smoke DMT. Because also, that high last twenty minutes.
But when I was in there, I was talking to
that thing, and I said, so, you know, I can
understand how time works because we've been in here, what
(22:44):
three months? It had been twenty minutes, And when I
remember it, I remember months and months of time. But
that's not what it was, but that's what it takes up.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
In my brain.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
It was little people in the walls. But the war
was just like talking.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I never went through the white. The wall was talking.
The wall answered all my questions.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Can you do an impression of the voice of the wall?
Did it have an accent? Was it Brooklyn? Was it Brittalian?
What did the wall?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
It was my voice because it was your voice.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
It was your voice. Yeah, dude, So when you die,
you go to the wall. You can go through it,
or you can just hang out the wall some more.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I'm sure you just then you have the party.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yeah, little people party everyone everyone else went through the
wall and had the time of their lives.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
But I was like, I got all my life's questions,
he answered.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
And when your feelings were turned off for a second, Yeah,
what what that feel like?
Speaker 3 (23:40):
It was a little bit comforting because then I knew
that I wasn't going to be trapped in another realm
being like I want my mommy, you know, which to
me is the nightmare of death.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
So I mean, the only I guess sort of difficult
part is for the people left behind to know, Oh yeah,
when you lose your your loved ones, they could just
switch you off.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
I don't want anyone to die and then be like
I wish I was hanging out with the Amber. I
think that's stupid. I think that would be torture. That
would Hey guys, here, let me offer you something. The
onst thing about you. They are on a cloud having
a party with a little furry animal.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
They're having a blast.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Looking talking to this clys to the world and this
close to you right now, they're in there. I love this. Yeah, fascinating.
And when you came back, was it like sudden or
was it slowly? You're coming back to this, to this realm,
and did you feel like I want to go back?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
It was just a teeny bit slow, but because it's
naturally occurring, like I could have stood up and driven
a car. There was no like, you're not drunk in there,
and you're not crazy on drugs. You're you. But the
world has changed. So that's why I like, I can
remember everything I said. I can remember everything the wall said,
and I wasn't like feeling loopy. I had a list
(25:08):
that I had made to ask the wall, and I
asked it everything on the list.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
So you think the wall is like the edge of
the other realm. This is the door. You get to
the door, any question before you go in, and then
you go in.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh no, I'm not spiritual at all. What I think
is it's just a thing that just so happens to
happen inside of your brain, and it bends time and
it feels like eternity, but it's not. It's just a
way that your brain can misconceived time and then that
feels like forever and it makes you feel good as
(25:43):
you die.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Oh so you actually think, then you die and then
it's nothing.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yeah, oh, take.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Away from your views.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
But you know.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
You don't know that you're just you scooch in there.
It's great.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
So you're like it go come through the wall. And
then you go through the wall, it's like blackout.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Or the amount that is released in your brain makes
you feel like it's forever. Because of twenty minutes felt
like months and months. Then certainly a larger amount could
make it feel like forever, because that's what's isolated in plants.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Now, people, how old were you when this happened? How
long ago has this happened?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
It had to be two thousand and five seven, something
like that.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
So my one other question, which I think is interesting,
is your first time was well scary? What made you
do it a second time?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I got it? I had to talk to the wall.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Right, you were like, I didn't get to the wall?
Is good? Okay? Well, Amber Roughin. A lot of what
you said is true, it turns out, except for the
bit about nothing, it was all alie in your brain.
It is true. There's a heaven and it's behind the wall.
You just have to step in, Okay, step through the
wall and believe in it. But on the other side
of the wall, it's heaven. And in heaven it's filled
(26:58):
with your favorite thing, what's.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Your favorite cotton candy? Probably all right.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
The wolves are cotton candy, The couches are cotton candy.
The people are cotton candy. They float around at that.
They're not scary, they're friendly, they try and hug you.
Then they're not like damp, so they don't get all sticky.
They're just like fun, you touching mel And they're all
very excited to see the cotton candy people. And they
want to talk to you about your life. They're big fans,
(27:23):
but they want to know about your life through the
medium of film, which is odd. The first thing they
ask you is Amber Ruffin. What's the first film you
remember seeing? Amber Ruffin? They keep calling you Amber Ruffin.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
That is odd that they keep calling me that. I
think the first film I remember seeing is The Wiz
because it's just on in the house one hundred percent
of the time because you have the VHS tape. But
then for a while, like I feel like it played
every Saturday or Sunday for a while on like PBS
(27:55):
or something, but like every weekend it was on. And
also when you're sick homesick from school, you can watch
it if you want. So there's a lot of that.
But yeah, I feel like I can remember seeing The
Wiz because I remember being scared of parts of it
that are in no way scary at all.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
So I think I was quite smart.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Are you forgive me if you not knowing this? Is
it just you and your sister or do you have
other siblings?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
We have other siblings. I'm the youngest of five laciers
in the middle.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well, what do the others are? The others like, why
don't we on your podcast?
Speaker 3 (28:34):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
They know why?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
No, that's not nice. We should have the mother podcast.
But they're just gonna act bad have three of us?
My god, Well, I'm putting in a request. I would
like one episode where all five everyone.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
It's just gonna be a wall of sound.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Sorry the Wiz. Do you remember the bit thats scared you?
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Yeah, when they're down in the subway and then the
subway trash comes to life and it's like babe boo
boo boo boop and he's got those scary long arms.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
That was scary.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
I think that is scary.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I didn't like it.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Did it make you want to be a performer or anything?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I don't think it did. I feel like The Wiz
is one of the few movies. You know, you get
older and you're you're like very aware that you're watching movie.
But I think the Whiz was like before I could
be like, this is people on a set and this
is a lady named Diana Ross, and shit, I was
just like, I can't believe this is happening to these people,
(29:40):
and I get to look at it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah, I really did.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
The way I think about it even still, it's like,
when that happened to that young woman, I was really fearful.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
For her safety. What is the film that made you cry?
The micet Do you like crying? Are you a crier?
I'm a ruffian.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I am in no way a crier.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I almost never cry unless it's Gray's Anatomy. Then I'm balling,
like I know these people. God, the last time I
cry that made me cry the most.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
It has to be something, But do you remember it?
Did the wall kind of did turn off my tears?
Oh no, the truth it did though, because man, everything's
gonna be all right. But I watched a movie called
Remember that movie that's like about the delus Mortos, and
it's that little boy playing the guitar, Go Go, I
(30:45):
remember the song remember Me. That song made me cry
so fucking hard. Oh, speaking of death, that song made
me cry myself sick because then when they second again
in Spanish, I understood it a little bit that they
can be double cry. They got me, Disney will get you.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Though.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I don't think Disney should count because if Disney wants
my tears, they're gonna get them.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah. Pixar and Monsters, I think Pixar. Yeah, they're a
sort of evil organization designed to destroy us, so through tears.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Well yeah, I mean now that you say that, yeah,
you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
And I was destroyed.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, and they knew exactly what they were doing, and
they fucking targeted us. The people who are like, I
don't care, it's just the thing.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I'm trying to look cool in front of my baby Nieces,
I look like a fucking asshole crying her room there.
They don't know what death is.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
They don't know, they've not seen the world. Tell me this,
what about being scared? Now? I already know something from
your podcast, But what's the film that scared you the most?
And do you like being scared? Spoilering that? I don't
think you do.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
I felt like being scared. The world isn't scary enough place.
Every movie has scared the mess out of me. I
get nervous at the point of the movie where we
don't know if the guy's gonna make it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That I want. That makes me want to turn off
the movie every single time.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
I can't. Will he become the number one golfer in
the world.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I can't, I can't. He's facing an ounce of hardship.
I hate it. I do feel that way. But the
movie that scared me, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
So when I was a kid, how old of I
I have to be a teenager in high school? I
imagine when Scream came out, So Screama's children. Scream was
a highly anticipated film when it came out, and it
was all any teenager wanted to do. And me and
my friends, I feel like two of us snuck in,
(32:57):
but it was like eight of us. So then eight
of us were sitting in six seats, so we were
all kind of like squished into a pile.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
And that movie started.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
The only people scaredier than me are my little best friends,
and it was me and a little scared sandwich and
we were just terrified, screaming, and then I'm screaming because
she's screaming, But then I have a fresh scream because
I noticed something she didn't notice while she was screaming,
and we were just it was as if we were
(33:30):
in a studio audience, like for a live show with laughter,
but with screams of terror. It was the scaredest I've
ever felt my entire life. I was terrified during the movie.
You remember Scream, the same movie that you watched and
had the feelings you had.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
It scared the shit out of me. Terrified.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Is that the last time you watched a scary movie?
Was that? Right?
Speaker 3 (33:55):
It has to be. I don't watch a lot of
oh what I did see? I will watch every Jordan
Peele movie. Okay, So get Out was really good. It
didn't scare you like you're gonna go cry, but dang,
it scared me good. It scared me pretty good and
I didn't like it.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Oh, Candy Man was also good.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Okay, So except for Jordan Peele, that was the last
scary movie?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Probably?
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Okay, what is the film that you love but critics
don't like it? Most people don't like it, but you
stand by it unconditionedly.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Amber Rough every Adam Sandler movie, every last one of
them motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And I don't know.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
What happened because I think it might be my age.
But Adam Sandler is the fucking shit. I think he's
the funniest personal live. I love him so much, and
I remember looking up to him when you know, I
was young. He just was what comedy was and I
loved it. And I'm still like very much a piece
(34:59):
of shit in an Adam Sandler way. Like I act
as bad as I act because Adam Sandler existed.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
You are Billy Madison.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I'm a hundred percent Billy madisone like all my good
guy friends.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Know you know, my Omaha guy friends, the ones I
grew up with that.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
I'll tap you in the balls because I think it's hilarious.
Like I'm I am just a different I'm Adam Sandler,
but in a different body.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I just like I like engraved chaos.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I get it. I love that you're Billy Medicine. I
love Adam Sounds so much. He's just lovely. Yeah, he's
very funny and lovely. What a guy.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
And everyone who has worked with him is like, he's
actually a delight, and I'm like, good, I don't care
if he was bad, I still wouldn't care.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I love him. I love him too much too. It's
too late. I'm too far gone.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
On the other hand, what is a film that you
used to love, you loved so much, and then you've
reasoning and you've got I don't like this no more?
You might have changed, well.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
A lot of like I mean, my answer should be
like any of those like White Savior movies, like those stuff.
You can't you can't get through one minute of the
blind Side, you can't watch.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
It for one minute.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
But also I'm the same person who watched it and
was like, how lovely like? It didn't like change my
life or anything, but it certainly didn't set off the
myriad of alarms it should have.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
I guess a safe answer is Austin Powers probably didn't
age well.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Listen, I fucking weirdly, just this very morning was sent
someone the scene from Austin Power's gold Member where Dr
Evil and Minime Wrap hard knocked life. It isn't, And
I think to myself often is gold Member the most underratedity?
Speaker 2 (37:06):
That's a great.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Always bagging on about toy story Free have we forgotten
Cold Number?
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Oh my god? That's true. Wait, Brett, question for you,
what's the most underrated movie of all time? This is
what you do to other people?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Well, listen, I've talked about this many times on the
podcast because I still I think it's finally starting to
get it's props. But Greece too is obviously. Oh that's
stone cold masterpiece of lawless, work of genius. It wasn't
embraced at the time.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Excellent.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
What's your answer?
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Easy?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
My answer is correct. It's pop Star Never Stop Popping.
Ah fucking great, fucking brilliant, brilliant comedy. That might be
one of the funniest movies. And I can't, I cannot
believe I But you know what, I do take a
lot of solace in the fact that that movie is
exactly what they want. It turned out exactly how they
(38:05):
wanted it to turn out. Like I feel that way
about that movie. And what's the movie you can only
watch once because it's so horrible American History X.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Like those two movies and they had.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
They were a lot of doll.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It made me feel exactly the way they wanted.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Me to feel. I'm like, you did it. I don't
ever have to see American History X.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Again. You know what there is shockgo Steve Martin's Shockgirl.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Oh that's a clear sir, sir. Oh yeah, well received.
I could watch that again.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful, phil beauty.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Sorry, Oh but wait, let's what time is it? Forty
three minutes for me to imitate your accent? It took
forty three minutes, and I feel pretty.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Good about that.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
I'm sort of impressed.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
I made a conscious note to not repeat the way
you sound back to you, and it took forty three
I almost made it, almost made it.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I'm impressed. I think I was expecting it earlier and
I was going to embrace it. I was happy. I
made a conscious note some place is going to do
your voice and you're going to have to enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
That kind of goes with me and anybody now that
I think about it.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
What is the film that means the most to you?
But not necessarily because the film is good, but because
the experience you had seeing the film will always make
it special to you.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Amber Ruffin, thank you for asking.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
The film is probably Black Panther two because I saw
the first Black Panther and I was like, I will
devote my life to this franchise, and I'm going to
try to have a career that makes them. Let me
(39:58):
go to the premiere of Black Panther two, because I
know there's kind of be sick.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
After that movie came out.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I really worked hard and then I got to go
to the New York premiere of Black Panther two, and
it was a fucking dream. Everybody was there and I
got to look at all of them, talk to everybody,
and I fucking everyone was, Oh my god, this happened
(40:26):
at that premiere.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Minding my own business.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Me and my little girlfriend Joeyell are in the corner
laughing and whispering about this, and that Maxwell comes up
to me and says, hey, aren't you Amber Ruffin. Wow,
I really enjoy your work. I grabbed this man so
hard by the hand. I was like, oh my god, Maxwell,
I love you so fucking bad. And Maxwell laughs and
(40:49):
he goes, you talk how you talk? I was like, yeah,
it sounds silly, and I'm sorry, I love you so bad.
And then the whole movie as a whole role a
bit I'm not doing a bit tarier sound sorry. It'd
(41:12):
be a pretty weird bit to do, but it would
be like me to have a bit and then just
do it forever.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Good.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's something I would do.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
But yeah, and then we sat in a row of
like black celebrities like Ascended to Heaven. I couldn't even
tell you what happened in that movie. I was just like, yeah, yeah,
we did it. Yay, I should go back.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
You're at the after party, everyone that asks you to
your favorite bit, You're like, I wasn't. I didn't. I
didn't pay any attention to the film. So sorry, I
was just I was just having a beer.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Just looking at Queen Lativa. Sorry, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
That's nice. Well that's a fucking motivating thing in it. Now,
that's a good way to get out of bed. In it.
If I work hard enough, I get to go to
the Black Panther too premier. But then what do you
do now? Now you've achieved your dream, you just sort
of take it easy.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
I mean, yeah, and I should be working harder. You're right,
but you need a new goal, I do. Do you
have one for me?
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Yes? Okay, my new goal for you is that you
develop your acting career. Right. Well, however you want to
do it. It's not up to me how you achieve this?
But I want you to do a dramatic part in
a film opposite Jeff Bridges.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Opposite Jeff Bridges, Okay, I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
I think you two together is what cinema needs.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Doesn't he seem like good people?
Speaker 1 (42:39):
He does, absolutely, That's why I think you'd be good together.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
I do feel like I could get along with Jeff Bridges.
Yeah for a little while. Then I get on his nerves.
But for just like a short shoot, I could do it.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Yeah, like a five weeks shoot. You just got to
behave for five weeks. I can do that one way.
I don't flick him in the bulls if I may
put that, are.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
We becoming close or not? Wait? Why you gotta tie
my hands like this?
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I just think for the five weeks she's probably sensible.
He seems like such a lovely guy. But I don't
know if he'd enjoy that. But who might to say?
You try it, agree to disagree? Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Jeff Bridges is like, oh my balls, think it, but
you did it perfect, perfect, they'll write it in the script.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Okay, what is the film he most relates to hamber Roughing.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
The film I most relate to is a special condo film.
I'm never Oh, yes I have. The film I most
related to is fucking Jumping Jack Flash one thousand percent.
I am woo Pee Goldberg and Jumping Jack Flash to
(44:00):
a fucking tea. That's exactly who I am in real life.
I could see all of that happening to me. But also,
like when I was a kid and I was watching
that movie, like, I don't know that I'd be doing
this without having seen Jumping Jackflash, cause like, you're not
supposed to be a black girl who's a little androgynous,
(44:26):
who has kinky hair, who is very very silly, Like
you're not supposed to be any of those things. And
there wasn't that combination. It was a long time after
Jumping Jackflash that I saw a second one of those,
and so I held onto that and I squeezed all
the juice out of it because I needed an example
(44:49):
so bad, and I would reest. I reach back to
that movie today and I'm like, remember she was doing it,
Remember she was talking like that and dressing like that,
and it's perfectly fine. But yeah, jump in Jack Flash.
Final answer, great answer.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, what's the premise of Jumpy Jack Fast? I saw
it when I was very little.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, she that's a great question.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
It's like she gets into trouble, right, and she's got
to fix some business in the city.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
She is reached by a man who is British and
he is getting her to like deliver the film or
get the goods or you know, do some heist for him.
And they can only communicate online, which was a very
(45:38):
big deal back then, so it's just her. It's like
a one lady heist. So it's really really cute. And
then you would think that they'd like fall in love
a little bit, but I'm ninety percent sure this is true.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
They do not.
Speaker 3 (45:53):
And it's just like that thing you know sometimes in
movies when people are a little gay and then they
like just like share a knowing glance and then that's it.
It's like that because that's kind of about like a
mainstream black women were back then. It was just like,
I'm not sexual in any way, but hello, and it's.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Look, I can look into the distance. Have you ever
met with me, Goberg? I did did you tell her this?
Speaker 2 (46:23):
No?
Speaker 3 (46:24):
When I met Woopi Goldberg, I did exactly this.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
I love you, I love you, I love you. Okay,
I love you.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
I love you, I love you, I love you, I
love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
And left. I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
I could only say I love you when I said
it for it to night while she was going, oh,
thank you so much, thanks, that's so nice.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Okay, great, what's your name? Oh? All right? What's your name? Okay?
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Yeah, I love you you but all right in your name?
And it was a full nightmare. But also I didn't care.
I love her so bad.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
I bet she turned to her friendly. She talks like
that in real life, I hope. So I have a
roughiin what is the sexiest film ever made? The sexiest?
Speaker 2 (47:16):
I truly do not have an answer.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Get out of here. I don't accept it.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Uh, yeah, you're right. The sexiest film is magic, Mike.
The sexiest film isn't, as yet unmade film where it's
like a queer black lady.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
I haven't the sexiest film. I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Gosh what could it be? But for real, wait, let's
just think for one fucking second. Oh you know, what's sexy?
What was sexy? And also the film I've seen more
than any other film Spanglish, idam a Sandler and beautiful
(48:07):
Lady Penelope Cruz also like, I don't know how that
is if I were to watch it today, But OK,
but I when I lived in Amsterdam, it was I
had one DVD and it was Spanglish. I didn't buy it,
it was just in the apartment. So I watched that.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Mug all of the time.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
And then I started to love it, and then it
became part of my routine. And then when I got
back to America, it was like the Sunday that every
Sunday it would be like overboard and Spanglish. I watch
it all the time. But like watching them be like
flirting a little and being in love but not being
(48:45):
able to really talk about it, that really got me.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
I enjoyed it. I thought, oh god, I hope they
kiss on the mails then, not to ruin it, but
they kissed them.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
Well are you going to handle the subcategory which is
traveling by worrying white ones? A film you found arousing
that you weren't sure you should. That's such a film exists.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
A film that I was aroused by to hear me
say it is hilyrious. See let's see this think less
think Oh am, I roused by Oh my god, yes,
the real answer please is Little Monsters. Oh so she's
(49:31):
so gorgeous in it. She's gorgeous. I feel like that.
That got me. Even though she's like twenty, I'm running
from the thing and all covered and blowed.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
I was like, she's.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Hot, She's yeah, she is unbelievable. Okay, that is a
really good answer. Hey, we did it. Hey, what is
objectively the greatest film of all time and might not
be your favorite?
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Very Gordy's the Last Dragon? It is, Oh, Darling Brett Rebrettiford,
that's your full name, Bredifford, Rebrediford.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
It is a movie from nineteen eighty four.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
I'm gonna say, with Timeak and vanity, you can't call
it a blaxploitation movie because it's made in nineteen eighty
It has him in the soundtrack, but it is the song, oh,
you know, the song Philip beat of the Rhythm of
the Night instant that the barge song is in the soundtrack. Now,
(50:39):
back in the eighties, there was like this whole bunch
of movies where it's like all it's like black people.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
In music, you know.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
It was like, you know, break in and break into
electric Boogloo and this was in there, and like Beat Street,
this was in that Schlana films and it was about
a young kung black kung fu master who falls in
love with a pop star and then has to save
her from the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Have you ever heard the phrase who's the master?
Speaker 3 (51:16):
Show? Noof have you ever heard that show? Nuf is
the bad guy from Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. I
got to see this, Oh buddy, it's so beautiful. I
feel like I love it because I'm not like old
enough to love it for real, but because I'm the
youngest of five. My older sisters would watch it all
(51:38):
the time and quote it all the time. And you know,
this was like a really big deal for them because
this was like the first black movie that they were
old enough to go to to like go to the
movie and see us so and you know, they describe
it as like the theater was packed and everyone was
screaming about this and that and yelling and standing in rah.
(52:01):
So it was a very big deal to them, And
I think that vibe was kind of in the room
as we were watching it in the living room growing up. Oh,
in the Amber Ruffins show for the for one Halloween episode,
I dressed up as show Enough and it made Arrek
dress up as the last Dragon, Bruce Leroy, Bruce Lee Roy.
And then they had the forty year re release DVD
(52:26):
and me and Lacey did DVD commentary on it. Well, yay,
because we love that freaking movie.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
That is a really, really good answer. You're going to
get twenty points for Yes.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (52:43):
So done, Yayne, you've started scoring. Yes. What is the
film that you could or have watched the most over
and over again?
Speaker 3 (52:53):
Well, that's spanglish Alreadie biffed it. I've seen that movie
more times than I cocc count. And second is Overboard.
I've seen Overboard a million times. Anytime I click past it,
I know exactly how far along in the film we are.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
I love.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
I just feel like, yeah, I might have seen it
the most, but it is the most shown movie of
all time. I bet, I bet a billion dollars every
I think they just made a deal to be shown
across every fucking platform. It is constantly on. It's constant,
and it's right because the movie's great.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
We don't like to be negative, do we. But what's
the worst film you've ever seen? You can do this
one quickly.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
Oh my god, what is that movie? I'll never remember it?
Oh fuck ah, dang it, it's let's see if we
can get there. It's the movie.
Speaker 2 (53:45):
Fuck, there's no way to describe it. That's like it
I have no answers for you.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
It's like, oh oh, it's like it's like Spain or
like like like my Yorca or what what is the movie?
Speaker 2 (54:01):
And it's like, oh, no, it has the vibe of Brazil.
Am I right?
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Brazil?
Speaker 2 (54:09):
Is it? Brazil?
Speaker 1 (54:10):
Brazil is your worst film made? Brazil? The Terry Gillian film.
Speaker 3 (54:14):
Uh abs a fucking lutely, this dumb piece of shit
wasted my goddamn time.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Everybody I know I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
Oh, if you like films, you've got to see Brazil.
The dumbest shit, the dumbest shit on planet Earth, truly
is The Emperor Has No Clothes, the dumbest shit I've
ever fucking seen.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Made me so goddamn mad. That's the worst. That's the worst.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
It's the worst movie of all time, so fucking stupid,
What a waste of everyone's time. And also like it
just makes me mad because you know, so many people
had better ideas than that. So it's only saving grace
is that it's a big swing. I love a big swing.
I try not to cuss out a big swing. But
it's everyone else's fault of mine, the amount these people
(55:01):
talk this thing.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
On My whole life. People are talking about this ship and.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
I saw it not too long ago for the first time,
so mad. I cussed the whole movie out and I
waited brit I thought, oh, it'll come around, and it
never did.
Speaker 2 (55:17):
So stupid, so stupid. Everyone who likes it is bad.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
Did not expect that. Outside I'm so good, I would
never have. I'm really really bad of you. You're in comedy,
You're very funny, You're you're paid for it. What is
the film that made you laugh the most?
Speaker 3 (55:35):
You know? What I saw recently is it's a film
by Julio Torres and it is called Problemsta. Oh my god,
who my favorite Shapes is one of the best things
I've ever seen, But Problemsta.
Speaker 2 (55:51):
I just went saw it and it made me laugh
so hard.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
I just think he's so special, and he's so brilliant,
and everything he does is exactly what he wants to
be doing, and nang how he found people to let
him do whatever he feels.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
That's a miracle. Miracle.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
That's nice.
Speaker 3 (56:12):
Yeah, that's such a pretty movie. And it made me
laugh so hard, and I saw it in the theater,
so then it was the first time I was like, oh,
I'm old because these children were laughing at things where
I was like, I don't know that.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
The joke is they missed me because I'm old.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Amber Ruffin, you've been beyond to delight as expected. However,
oh shit, when you went to the cheesecake factory, no,
the first one in Beverly Hills, the two hundred and
eighth one at the Grove, and you've been there for
the fiftieth time and you got the same waiter that
you don't respect enough to even check his name. But
(56:55):
what you do know is you don't like it. And
you said, ah, buddy, i'm going to need a table
for ten. It's just for me. I want the space.
He goes, we're kind of busy to not you go listen,
just put me on the table. I'm not going to
be here long. And he goesugh, puts you on the table.
You order your cheesecakes. I'll have five cheesecakes. And he goes, yeah, well,
that's what we do here, obviously, and you go, but
(57:15):
I'm going to need the bread. He goes off. Two
minutes later, he's walking past trying to save someone else.
You go, hey, there's my bread, buddy, and he goes,
my name's not buddy. Well you never learned my lady.
He goes, I ain't got time to learn your name.
Just give me my bread, and he walks past again.
One minute later, you go, buddy, and he goes, my
name is not buddy, and you go get me my bread, asshole,
(57:35):
before my cheesecakes come. I'm not gonna have time to
eat my bread. You know, me a mamber roughing. This
is how I treat waiters. And he goes, god, you're
so nice to the other way and he goes, yeah,
that's not you, buddy. He walks off. He goes into
the kitchen now and think, and he goes, you know
what I'm fed. I've been treated this way by these
fucking Hollywood elites. And he comes back out with a
loaf of brown bread and he goes, you want your bread.
(57:57):
You want your bread over ruff And you say, yeah,
that's what my bread. And he goes, so here's your
bread and you got good. And then he stuffs the
loaf of bread into your face. It covers your eyes,
It covers your eye. It pushes really really hard, and
it sort of caused the bread into your mouth, and
the whole locos is stuck into your throat and he
keeps pushing and pushing, and because of the vacuum it
created with the air that was pushed inside of your stomach,
(58:20):
your stomach explodes all over the way. He's covered in
your blood and guts and bread, and he goes, good, good,
He's breathless good. And I'm walking past with a coffin.
You know what I'm like, And I goes, everyone see Amber,
and I look over at this way is covered in
your blood and guts, and he goes, he just points
(58:41):
at your fucking opening corpse, and I go, oh, wow, Jesus, sorry,
everyone enjoy it. Don't mind me. Enjoy your cheesecakes. And
I come over and there goes she can't put me
off my cheesecake. I don't worry. The cheesecakes goods. And
then I grab you. I go to the way to listen.
We're gonna have to like fit her in this coffin
and he goes, oh, help, gives me a load of knives.
Start chopping you up, bits, chopping up bread nights, chopping
(59:02):
up we stuff you in the coffin. And he's like
his elbowing your bits into the coffin. He is, by
the way, no remorse from this guy, just the best
day of his life. And so I've pushed you on
in and I go, jeez, I go anyway man, he goes,
He goes, Do I get a tip? Fucking hell man,
(59:23):
Sure of course, I give him some money. Take you off. Now.
The coffin is full, is jabbed. There's no room in
this coffin. There's only enough room for me to slip
one DVD in the side for you to take across
to the other side. And on the other side, it's
movie night every night. What film are you taking to
show that candy floss people of Heaven when it is
your movie night? Amber Ruffin go.
Speaker 3 (59:43):
Okay, Well, because they're candy floss, which is a cotton can,
insane way to say cotton candy. Because they're Papa's beard people,
I think I would show them fucking wait wait, wait, Xanad.
(01:00:05):
I will be taking xanad excellent film. It's good for
fun and I feel like candy. People would love to
watch Sana do.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I think that's absolutely right. That's forty points, that's sixty points.
Ever after you did it, is there anything you would
like to tell people to look out for, to listen to,
to watch, Yeah in the coming months.
Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Look out for Bears, they're everywhere. Listen to your parents.
They love you. Look Out four though Whiz. I re
wrote it and it is on Broadway right now. You
can go see it. Look Out Serious. It's true, true,
(01:00:46):
it's out there, it's happening. It's the most fun. It's
guaranteed a good time. It's the funnest, blackest shit that
will ever happen to you in your dang life. It's
so fun the ways. Look out for Late Night with
Stupid Tough Myers. Look out for the Amber and Lacy
Lacy and Amber Show. That's a podcast and it's cute
and it's where you are right now, and you know,
(01:01:08):
look out for traffic.
Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
And I love you.
Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
I love you, Amber Raffin, thank you so much for
doing this. You've been brilliant. I have a wonderful time
at the wall and I will see you there saying
good night, good death.
Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
Oh goodbye.
Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
So that was episode three hundred and five. Head over
to the Patreon at patreon dot com. Forward to last
breakhostening the extra secret chat and videos with Amber go
jackle podcasts give us a vive style writing, but right
about the film. It means the most to you and
why it's a lovely thing to read. My neighbor Marien
loves it. Always makes her cry and it's very much appreciated.
I hope you're all well. Thank you very much for listening.
Thank you so much to Amber for doing the show,
(01:01:48):
Thanks to scrubys Pip and the distraction pieces nearby. Thanks
to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to iHeartMedia and
Wilferrell's Big Money Players Network posting it. Thanks to Adam
Richardson for the graphics. At least ald them with the
photography on me next week for another incredible episode. But
that is it for now. Thank you all for listening,
and in the meantime, have a good week and please,
(01:02:10):
now more than ever, be excellent to each other.
Host
Brett Goldstein
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