January 23, 2023 • 48 mins
I Want It That Way… Lance and Backstreet Boys’ AJ McLean together!
They’re talking about the wild rides to fame and fortune. AJ opens up to Lance about his personal battles and recovery and how he got to where he is today.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
This is Frosted Tips with Lance Bass. And I heard
a podcast. Hello my Little Peanuts, it's me your host,
Lance Bass. This is Frosted Tips with me Lance. I
got my co host, my husband, the love of my life,
Mr Turkey Turchin is with us than Turkey. I'm so
sorry you didn't get to do the last two episodes.
(00:27):
It's very producing for people out there because you did
one episode and then you disappeared. But it's not your fault.
You got stuck in Miami. I did get stuck in
Miami with um, your children, my children when they were
when they were misbehaving, there were yours. No, they're good,
they're good, safe and found. I really really missed you
because I was I was very busy that week. Thank goodness.
(00:49):
So Tom did fly. But all I wanted to do
was put together all the kids toys that we got
them for Christmas because we you know, we're in Miami
most of the time, and so we got them this,
you know, play kitchen, which I've always I've been wanting
them to have like a little play kitchen because that's
what my sister had growing up. Um, they might be
a little too young for it, but no, growing to it. Yeah,
(01:10):
but I couldn't screw the things in It's it's the weekends.
But I stupidly hurt my hand. And the older you
get that, you get really stupid in injuries, right, you
sneeze and nell of a sudden, you break a rib um.
I was throwing something off the back because we live
on a park, and you know you're not supposed to
throw food off the back. But I was feeding my
birds and squirrels, so I had some bird seed and
(01:32):
all that, and I didn't see that the fence was
really that close to me. So I threw it as
hard as I could in the backyard and just slammed
my three fingers. Thought I broke them. This was last
August and I still cannot bend my fingers. It is
so bad. But the doctor said, I don't know. I
guess I hurt my nerve endings and it just takes
months and months for that to heal. I never heard
(01:53):
of that before. But we couldn't put together the play kitchen.
But luckily I couldn't twist the screw. I twisted the screws.
It all came together. Everyone around of applause. Alright, guys,
well enough about us because we have a very special
guest with us. Um, you are secret boy Band Society
member number. I gotta figure this out, um, because I
(02:13):
think we're gonna have honorary members, which turkey or honorary
member number one? So we had of course I'm gonna
be number one because I created the show. Number two
went to uh who was our first guest? Oh my god,
j C. J C. Yeah. Then we had Jonathan Knight,
and now today we have I'm not gonna say my
favorite boy band. You're right there, right up there. Um.
(02:36):
Alexander James McClean, American singer, songwriter, actor, dancer, and model,
is a member of the hugely popular boy band the
Backstreet Boys. Born in West Palm Beach, McLean became interested
in performing at a young age and studied dance while
growing up. A J has been with The Backshet Boys. Three.
Alexander James McClean, Welcome to the show. Thank you are you?
(03:00):
Was so excited that we named our kid after you.
I am actually because I know, like we had talked
about that forever ago that if you guys ever had kids,
We had talked about it. Then I threw it out
and I planted the seed when we did the MTV
Awards and then next thing, you know, it's Alexander. It
(03:22):
just it made sense. You know, Alexander's his other name,
James is my other name, Boom James, and imply I
know you're basically our child. Yeah, well I'm I'm, I'm. I'm.
Quite a few people's child could be like like like
a loose godfather. You know, it's just I'm sure there
is a godfather, but we don't do because we're but
(03:44):
well he's Jewish, I'm Baptist, so we don't really do
the godfather godmother thing. But people kind of appoint themselves
as then I'll just do it. It's like the loose godfather. Yeah,
I'm the loose godfather. I'm the GF. Lisa vander Pump
appointed herself as Got the Fairy, She's the godmother, and
then her friend Wendy is the fairy godmother. She's like
(04:07):
a princess. So you know, we have kinds of wonderful
village people around us. But let's talk about the more
serious part of your career, the modeling part. Yes, um,
I want to know. We're first modeling gig and was
Sears Catalog because I would love to see a little,
a little Alexander James. No ya, No, I did. So.
(04:30):
I was probably around god, I think about four years
old when I first did my first modeling thing and
it was a runaway show for j C for j
C Penny's Penny. But I will say this, so this
was my first my my my very first time knowing
what a quick change was. Um, because it was just
(04:52):
me and my mom backstage, and I had about twelve
different looks. So every time i'd go up, i'd walk
the catwalk, come back quick change. So like midway through
the show again, I'm like four or five years old,
my mom is changing me and I look up and
I saw my first pair of boobs that I had
(05:14):
ever seen in my life, and I did not know
what to think, didn't know what was going No like
model boobs, like like grown woman boobs. And I was
just like enamored. And I was just like my mom
is trying to get me dressed, and I'm just like
She's like, what are you looking at? Come on? Come on?
Uh and then I and then you know, I proceeded
(05:34):
to walk out holding hands with these models like they
were my parents. And uh, but yeah, that was my
that that was my first ever like modeling thing. I
wish I would have been asked. Cut two years down
the road when our career really kind of started to
kind of kick off. Uh. We had done a partnership
(05:56):
with Versacey for like wardrobe for the Millennium Tour, and
Kevin had gotten really close with Donna Tella and she
asked him to do like an actual Versacchy runway show.
And I'm like, damn it, why did he get to
do it? And I don't get it? But I did.
I mean I was lanky and kind of whatever, squirrelly,
and keV was like in the best shape of his life,
(06:18):
and he looked, you know, had that Tom Cruise Christian
Bailee thing going on, because yeah, tall, he was a
handsome he has a handsome man. Yeah yeah, I said,
I don't care if you want one. Love your mom.
I mean, going back to the mid nineties, remember when
I first met you guys, probably in Germany somewhere. Your
mom was the one that always stood out to me
(06:38):
because she was just she was a lovely, lovely woman
and just made me feel so comfortable wherever I went.
And but I just saw her recently where was that.
I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe at your show. Yeah
you're Vegas us from the other side, she is the best.
She just felt like everyone's mom, which was coming from
(07:00):
another group. This is so rare. It kind of was
everyone's mom. I mean there was a there was a
long stretch where we had no no management, no anything,
and she was kind of helping to steer the ship
along with some of our label folks. Um. But yeah,
she's phenomenal. I mean, single, single mom raised me as
good as she could. I think I turned out Okay,
(07:22):
I mean I'm not great, but yeah, the jury is
definitely still out. But now she lives in Vegas. I
moved her to Vegas back in seventeen and she loves
it out there. She loves it. She wanted to get
out of Florida as fast as she could, as most
of us do, for a various reasons. Yeah, when did
you move to Orlando because you moved there specifically to
(07:43):
get an entertainment Yeah. I moved to Orlando in I
want to say ninety one, Um, because I was in
South Florida, Boyton Beach, Boca. I was doing a lot
of musical theater in Boca at the Royal Palm Dinner Theater,
which is now sadly a apartment complex. They couldn't keep
up and I still kicked myself to this day. At
(08:05):
the height of our career, they somebody mentioned to me
an offer to buy out the theater, and sadly that
was right at the beginning of my drug and alcohol days.
So I've just forgot and it, you know, kind of
slept through my fingers, but or slept in my fingers.
(08:26):
But now sadly it's a freaking apartment complex. But um,
but yeah, I mean, you know, I moved. I moved
to like Ultimont area in and then moved to the
sand Lake area right down the street from trans Con
in ninety two ish because I actually met Lou and two.
(08:48):
So for me, it's already been thirty years. Well I
want to know how, because you know, you did my documentary,
which thank you so much, con was so funny, very
eye opening for me and doing all that research, and
for the last few years we've been working on the
scripted version of that, which is going to be coming
out next year. Wait till you see who plays Lou.
It's gonna be great. I can't say the network or
anything that Yet in anyway, the writers at all this
(09:11):
heavy research, and I think they used your mom's book
a lot for you. And there's a lot of things
like is this true or not? So now that I
have you, I want to know. Um. So in the
script they have you in Orlando meeting Howie d at
a Latin festival. Okay, so that was true. That is true,
and you were into your a puppeteer. I did a
(09:32):
little bit of everything. Um you know, this was a
forty five minute one man show that my mom and
I put together for me, showing pretty much whatever I
could do, such magic, puppeteering, Uh, you name it, I
did all of it. You're like the original Miranda. And yeah,
(09:55):
so Howie at the time had had a partner, Jen,
who was his girlfriend at the time. Actually they were
a duo. I was performing outside, he was performing inside.
The first place was it was a thousand dollars and
I won. So my first time actually meeting how He,
I beat him, which is awesome. And then I would
(10:15):
see him a lot at auditions throughout Orlando, whether it
was a Disney or Nickelodeon, because Nickelodeon was massive back then.
Um and then Nick started popping up, which made no
sense because they would, you know, call me and say, okay,
we're looking for a young Latin boy. And then I
show up and it's like a bunch of you and
I'm like, what doesn't make anything? Like yes, blonde hair,
(10:42):
blue line, and I'm like, how do I fit in
here at all? It doesn't make any sense to me.
So I never got any of the parts. Um. And
then uh, and then Nick and I actually made it too.
Nick went further than I did to the Mickey Mouse Club. Um,
he actually got an offer, and I was like, runner
(11:02):
up for whatever that season would have been. Oh, I
didn't know that, you know, even audition for we both
we feel every single person or age we both we
both auditioned. And then Nick got an offer I think
it was for like fifty dollars, and his mom basically
said and right at that same time he got the
audition for us and picked. So his mom is like,
(11:26):
at twelve years old, okay, you decide do you want
to take a chance on this group that may go
nowhere or do you want to take the deal that's
on the table and go be And And that would
have been if I'm if I'm right, that would have
been the season that was justin j C everybody. So
who knows what group you would have ended up in
(11:47):
if that had gone. That was little choices, you know,
that butterfly effect. I mean, that's a big as choice
to make. Would have chosen that, we probably wouldn't be around.
I mean, it really just would have messed up everything.
It would have been way bad, way. Yeah, it would
have been a conundrum for sure. I mean it definitely.
Who knows if I would have been in your group,
you would have been in my group, the groups would
(12:08):
have even happened, Probably not, Yeah, I mean who knows.
That's it's crazy. And then behind the scenes, you know,
Lou Proleman and transcond is putting this whole thing together.
We all know the story. You know, we found out
about new kids on the blogs, like why do these
kids have a billion dollar business? I want to be
in this business. Wanted to create a music group. There
was no such thing as a boy band at that time.
There's that work didn't exist. This didn't exist. So it's like,
(12:30):
I need a group like this, I want a billion
dollar business. Um. I wanted to put you know, this
group together and again this is what my writers, you know,
told me, and I'm like, I have no idea. Lou
needed money, went to some investors and this quickly put
a group together that I think you were a part
of before. Yes, there was. There was a first incantation
(12:51):
of Backstreet Boys, which was myself, how He and Nick
and two other gentlemen, Sam and Charles Um. And within
like the first week, Um, Charles just wasn't it just
wasn't jelling. And how we knew Charles, I believe from college.
So we all went to dinner. I went outside to
(13:13):
have a cigarette because I didn't want to even see
this ship go down, part of me saying sh uh.
So we all chose Howie to be the one to
break the news to Charles because he knew him to say, hey, man,
it's just not working out. So after Charles left, Uh,
we got Kevin. Kevin came from Disney at the time
because actually, yeah, lose limo driver at the time was
(13:37):
friends with somebody that was friends with Kevin. Kevin was
doing Ninja Turtles, he was Prince Eric, he was Sebastian. Uh,
he was Aladdin all at Disney. So we got Kevin
and then Sam didn't work out. We were kind of
clashing a little bit and it just didn't gel. So
he quit. Now we're down to four and we were
(13:59):
going to go back to the original grouping of guys
that had that that had done the first audition because
Howie they lost his freaking they lost his resume. So
a year later he got cast back in the band
because his stage name was Tony Dnetti. So that's why
he got lost in the mix. Lose lose casting. Uh woman,
(14:22):
I came, I think, oh glorious nicol Um. She couldn't
find Howie because he wasn't under Howard Duroux. He was
under Tony Dennetty. So cut too. Now we're down to four.
Kevin's like, listen, I've got this cousin. He lives in Kentucky.
He can sing. I'm pretty sure he can dance. I
don't know. And Kevin called up Brian literally he was
(14:43):
I think a senior or junior in high school at
the time, and he got called to the office. What
up because he's like, why are you calling me in
the middle of class. He's like, well, you know, I
was wanted da da da, Hey, I'm in this group.
Do you want to maybe come down to Florida and
meet the rest of the guys and see if this
is something that you're interested in. So cut to Brian
showed up to the band house. I'm sure you guys
(15:04):
saw the band house at least once or twice. I
don't think so. I mean, I mean maybe you didn't.
I don't know. We that might have fizzled out before
you guys started because our own band house right across
from Universal Studios. Yeah, we were liking like the Lake
Buena Vista area. It's kind of Lake Road, Yeah, definitely different,
but we you know, I was the first one to
meet Brian, and he showed up in jeene shorts, cut
(15:28):
off flannel with like the fray. He had a freaking
fade and he's like, hey, y'all, my name is Brian Lanstrup,
Kevin's cousin. I'm like, oh, good god, man, what the
hell just walked in the door. And that night we
sat in the garage, which was our little rehearsal space.
We had mirrors up and in a fake little dance floor,
and we picked out the harmonies too. It's so hard
to say, goodbody. Yesterday, my boys, two men and two
(15:51):
weeks later we did grad Night Uhtree at Sea World
and that was that was it. That was the launch,
I mean that was the birth thing obviously our career.
We didn't sign with Jive until like but we did
the whole high school, middle school, middle school tour before that,
the E s M Tour had to start. Dr Philip
(16:12):
Hie had to play all those little things. Um, when
you got signed to Germany because it's uh Munich, Germany,
BMG eriola, Um, what was it? Like? I've never heard
the story of when you first learned that you got
signed with a German label? What did you think of?
Because when we got signed over in Germany, I didn't
even know that it was a possibility. Well, so so
(16:34):
we got signed. So the very first one that happened
was actually Mercury Records. Mercury Records gave us an offer
and that fell through, and Dave McPherson, who was the
head of an R at Mercury, moved from Mercury over
to Jive, which was just beginning that basically took us
(16:56):
with him. So once we got signed a Jive, then
we realized that there was I guess you can call
them like many labels around the globe. In the US,
we couldn't find a pot to piss in, like nobody
really cared. But Germany, Austria, Switzerland loved us, so hence
the German label, hence US starting and focusing on those
(17:19):
territories for the better part of almost like two years
um overnight sensations there. So we we went to we
did this thing called the Pop Explosion in Norremberg and
it was US in E y C. Were the only
two American acts on the bill. And our single at
the time was we Got It going on. It had
taken off on like RTL and all the different radio
(17:39):
stations throughout Europe, and people knew our song like it
was crazy. We're in our red, white and blue American
outfits and uh and you know, we fly back to
Orlando and we used to call it no fan Land,
Like we'd get back to the airport and you could
you could hear a pin drop. It was like, damn,
this sucks man, you know. But we were loved story.
(18:04):
But then Spice Girls came out and Hanson because in
the States it was grunge and wrapped that's what that's
all radio was playing, was Nirvana Dre snoop. There was
no room for us. And then Hanson came out with
him about Spice Girls want to be Now pop Radio
was like, oh what is this? And it opened the doors.
(18:26):
Then we come back and now there's fans starting to
show up and things started happening, and I was like, whoa,
what what? Where? Where was the shift? And then it
got to the point where we couldn't even like, we
couldn't go anywhere, couldn't you couldn't do anything, you know.
I used to frequent the Florida Mall until I couldn't,
you know, I got chased down by a tour group
of Brazilian girls. And the only thing we can compare
(18:47):
that to was Beatles New Kids. If you ever went
to their concerts you were, how old were you when?
Probably like yeah, like probably like seventeen eighteen, when when
(19:08):
like it really shifted. Um, do you think that affected
you in any way? Just to have all that love
coming away and I mean girls chasing you everywhere, it's
just something that's I mean, no one can really compare. No,
it's you, don't you know, Because I had a lot
of I personally had a lot of haters, um amongst like,
(19:30):
you know, I only went to high school my freshman
year and then I dipped out and I got tutored
because we were traveling everywhere. I graduated like a year
early when I was seventeen. Um. But like my chorus
teacher at the time, you know, I was so excited
and I could share this with him, like hey, I'm I'm, I'm,
I'm gonna be in this group. It's gonna be huge.
And he don't get your hopes up. Don't get your
(19:50):
hopes up, and just kept like beating me down with it.
And I just and you know, my so called friends,
which are not my friends anymore, we're all saying the
same thing, like, ah, this is gonna last, This isn't
gonna up. And then you know, cut you when things
took off and I'd run into these people, you know,
they loved me. I was their best friend. That I'm like, no,
(20:13):
suck it, um. But yeah, it was a real weird
experience to you know. I'm forty five now and and
and I feel like in the past four to five years,
it's finally started to settle in. Like since there's been
this resurgence, since we did our residency, all these things
have been happening for the good. Uh, it's definitely finally
(20:36):
I can really truly appreciate it. When you're seventeen eighteen,
you don't know what is up or down. Yeah, all
these girls are throwing themselves at you. You're traveling the world.
It's great, but it's overwhelming. It's extremely overwhelming, and it's
very time consuming, and you didn't have time to just
be a kid, and you're just you're becoming an adult.
I mean, I remember I joined in saying at sixteen,
(20:57):
but from Mississippi, that's really like thirteen, right, you know,
we weren't very advanced. Uh, but when I joined the group,
you know, my four guys were already living life, I
mean on their own. I mean they're only nineteen themselves,
but they had been working already for so many years
and definitely having relationships, which I really didn't. You know,
I was a closeted kid. Um, so at that age
(21:22):
being kind of just thrown out into the world and
having everyone throw themselves at you, were you the type
of normal teenager They're like, yeah, just started dating every
single girl. I mean, I you know it was all
older girls. I mean I say older, but I was
like seventeen eighteen. They were like twenty two, and I
was like, oh that's an older girl. Um, but yeah,
(21:42):
I mean I definitely had my fun. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna deny that, because what guy wouldn't at
that age when it was just okay, yes, I I
you know, like I said, everything happened so fast. It
was just kind of this whirlwind. But really was when
(22:04):
it really was kind of when everything kind of went
upside down for all of us in a good way.
But like Millennium, our biggest album to date, that to
me was like this overnight insanity. I mean, you know,
TRL was created because of groups like us. You know,
m M MTV needed to find a way to retire
(22:26):
music videos and they created tr L. You know, they
had the Top twenty Countdown, they had the Rock Countdown,
but they didn't have anything for the Instincts, the Backstreets,
the Christina, the Brittany, the Fanatics, you know, the Blank
Twos and all of this. That was that era, the Hansens,
the Spice Girls, all of it. So you know, when
(22:49):
we shut down Times Square, when all these things happened,
it was just when you couldn't go anywhere is when
it really kind of hit us. And some of us
took it better than others. Others really kind of became
more of like a recluse, um, and kind of ducked
back in their shell. And how do you know how
you're going to act until it's happening exactly when you're
(23:09):
in it, you don't really know what to do. Um.
And I I took it and ran with it, and
then unfortunately shortly after I took it their w own direction. Um.
You know, because I just I kind of lost my identity.
I kind of lost myself. You know. Well, let's talk
about that, because everyone handles fame in a different way.
(23:30):
I always say I was I'm so happy that I
was in a group instead of solo because at least
in a group, we had amazing family members around us, right, Like,
we were very tight with our family, which I think
kept us very down to earth. I had four other
best friends that would just slap you across the face
if you did anything stupid. Um. But then some of
us go off and you know, do some stupid things,
(23:51):
and you know, with you and um, you know, that's
when your addiction started. How how did that start? Do
you remember the first time, um, you had a drink.
The first time I actually had a drink. I was
probably about eighteen. I had a beer with this girl
I was dating, and I hated it. I thought it
was the most it was. It tastes like pissed. I
(24:12):
was like, this is nothing. I know what piss tastes like,
clarified quick, but it was. It was. It was just gross.
And it was like flat water or like flat whatever soda.
But um, like my first real drink. Um. I don't
even know why. But we were at an after party
or like an end of tour party, and I was
(24:33):
I was always the guy that would hang out with
our crew or our band. I knew everyone's first and
last name. I knew their families. I said, hid everybody
in the crew every day that we showed up for
a show. Um, that's just a person I am. You know,
some of the boys may have known a few people,
but I made it a point to make myself known.
I want to know everybody, um, because they're the heart
(24:53):
and soul of any tour. They're the ones that put
the show together. And um. One of the guy was
handing me a shot and I tried to drink it
and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever tried
in my life. And it was sambuca. Then then I
then I went back for another one, and I was like, Okay,
(25:16):
I kind of I kind of like this little burning sensation.
So sambuko was my first drink of choice. And then
I got alcohol poisoning and that that then moved to whiskey,
and then Jack was my was my demise, Jack's Jack's
the one that ended me up in rehab for the
first time. Jack. And then then Jack led to drugs,
(25:38):
which wasn't too far. And it's great because you know
I said in the last episode, you know I drank
a lot at that age, just because I was trying
to hide something right, to know him something um And
I feel like I'm just the type of person that
might not have that h that addiction just doesn't really
stick to me, because I I could go weeks without
drinking if I wanted to. But I mean I was
(25:59):
a too for sure, Like I didn't you know, I
had friends, you know, going out when they're twenty one,
getting annihilated. I didn't really pick up a drink till
I was about twenty five, Like really drink like drink
drink were trying to hide a numb at that page.
I think for me, Um, you know, I'm just now
at forty five kind of in this. I've been sober
(26:19):
now for about almost sixteen months, seventeen months now, congratulation,
thank you, and I this is the first time that
I that I'm finally on this true trip of self
discovery and I'm learning now what set these things off, Um,
whether it was abandonment issues from my from my dad
(26:40):
leaving or you know, for me, Um, even though people
know me as this outgoing, flamboyant fun guy, uh, I'm
I'm I've got very low self esteem, like I'm really
an introvert, and I do all those things in my mind.
I think it's making me feel like I'm like I'm
better then. But when I finally get to a place
(27:03):
where I know I'm no better and no worse than
the person next to me, and when I get to
a place that I can honestly truly love myself and
believe that I have worth, well, I finally have gotten
to the place that I've been trying to get to
for the last years. But I mean it's a daily
thing and but I am learning a lot more about
(27:25):
myself today because I'm taking the time to do it.
I'm doing the writing, I'm doing my twelve steps that
I'm supposed to do in a A and I'm finally
it's really painful because normally around this time the pain
that I'm in currently, I would pick up a drink
because I don't want to feel that pain. What do
(27:47):
you put it into now? Because I mean, I just
see the motivation with you now, I you earn the
best shape of your um, So I mean, what what
are you putting that into? Is it just I'm putting
it into health, I'm putting it into my kids, I'm
putting it into my family, but most importantly, I'm putting
it into myself. Like I'm wearing all my emotions on
my sleeve now, and if something comes up and I
(28:10):
don't like the way I feel, I call my sponsor.
I talked to my family, I talked to my friends,
and I just talk about it as opposed to me
holding it inside and just trying to handle it on
my own. It's okay to ask for help, there's nothing
wrong with that. I try to do it. My ego
told me, you got this. You could do this on
your own. You don't need help. You don't need a
(28:31):
twelve step program, you don't need a sponsor, you don't
need to talk to your family. Don't burden anybody else
with your BS. But it's not burdening anyone, it's just
having an outlet to talk about it. Um, how does
your wife, Rochelle, how did she deal with that? I mean,
she obviously knew what I mean she you know, she
at the beginning of our relationship thirteen years ago. Um,
(28:57):
she thought the drugs and the drinking was like a
casual thing, you know. I mean, hell, I did blow
in front of her, but she thought it was just
a casual thing. Oh, you know, he does this once
in a while. Then she started to see it's okay.
This is now Monday through front, Monday through Sunday. Now
it's sometimes multiple times a day. And you know, I
(29:19):
put her through the ringer, um, you know, and she
deserves every award known to man, both as a wife
and as a mother and as just a human being.
Um to put up with my ship, but um, you know, honestly,
she she ended up going to alan On, which is
basically a a for Norman's um. They put you through
(29:41):
the same twelve step program that we go through, except
you don't have a drug or drinking problem, just to understand,
but to really understand what goes on in my cuckoo mind,
because my mind is pretty cuckoo. But you know, we've
we've really come to a place of understanding that you know,
she gets that relapse is part of the deal. Now
(30:03):
for me, relapses off the table because I don't have
another one in me. The fetinal crisis is terrifying. I
don't I literally deleted every single one of my dealer's
numbers out of my phone, which means if I wanted
to get drugs, I'd have to go to some rando
at a bar or club, and you don't know what
you're getting. That's dangerous and that could be the end
of me, you know. And I'm not gonna leave my
(30:23):
kids father list or my wife a widow because of
something is frivolous as that. So I remember we didn't
even know each other that well. But I want to
say it was the time when you did the call,
because we were saying at the Layer mattage. We just
happened to be staying at the same hotel, and I
remember you saw me or something. You're like, hey, coming here,
(30:44):
and it was in the theater of the lawyer Mattage, right.
They had this like little theater you could screen things,
and it was just you in there drinking by yourself,
I think, probably straight Jack Daniels, and you're like, come
in there. So I went in there and you showed
me the video and you were kind of incoherent then,
and I was like, oh my god. It was the
first time that I realized, oh my gosh, he j
(31:04):
has a problem. Um. And it just really it was
the first time I've ever seen anyone, uh that I
would consider like an alcoholic and never knew what that
looked like. Um. And I remember just feeling like, oh
my god, I hope someone has your back. Do people
know that you have this problem? So I kept it
in the closet for as long as I could until
(31:26):
it finally started to affect my job, my day to
day life. You know, the boys were oblivious because I
still showed up on time, I still did my job.
I was a functioning alcohol until I wasn't functioning. Um.
You know, I was still living in uh in Philip's
landing back in Orlando and um, when we were in
(31:49):
rehearsals for the Black and Blue tour and I called
in sick. I wasn't sick. I was just hungover and
in like what they called a coke cooma like I had.
I hadn't been to bed in days. And the boys
finally started to kind of catch on a little bit
that this was more than just drinking. They broke into
(32:10):
my house. They went to my kitchen. I had a walk.
I don't even know why I had a walk. I
never cooked in my house, but I had a walk.
And they filled it with ice water and they dumped
it on my head and woke me up. I was
pissed as hell. I told him I was gonna call
the cops for breaking into my house. Get the hell
out of my house. Showed up the rehearsal later that day.
(32:31):
We all discussed it water under the bridge. Then I
knew that it was that I was. I was. I
was crossing a personal line when I finally started drinking
on stage the second and last song of our show,
because the encore was shaping my heart, because that was
the single off that was the big single off Black
(32:51):
and Blue. We would do the call and then go
into shape of My Heart and uh. Our percussion player
would have these two red olo cups sitting at his rig.
One was water, one was straight Jack. So I did
this whole stick where it's a fake phone call and
I'm talking to the girl and like the intro of
the song and I and I'd be like, hey, is
(33:12):
it you calling me? And I would look at my
band and then I'd go and I would be like, oh,
I'm so, I'm like parched, and I would just chug
that son of a bit and it wouldn't really hit
me to like the end of the show that I'm
like okay, and then by then I'm back in the
hotel room. But that's when it was like okay, dude,
and I would tell myself this, like what are you doing?
You're drinking on stage. Did you ever feel like you
(33:33):
would be kicked out of the band at any point? No?
But yes, uh, you know. I I was kind of
high and mighty at that time, and the boys flew
out a therapist that I never used to be on
the road. Then they would do random drug testing with me,
and as a true addict, I tried to bs my
(33:55):
way out of my drug test by paying all one
of the local crew guys to piss in a cup.
So I do it, and then I literally this is
the extent that I went to. I put it in
a bag, this guy's p random guy put into bag,
fancied a little hose that I could get because our
(34:18):
tour manager had to watch me. Pete right, So I
had the hose come down my long sleep into my
hand and I stood at the freaking urinal and I
just unpinched it and then it pe so cut. Two
drug test results come back. There's like seven drugs and
I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, this isn't my p
(34:39):
this is on my p. I lied. I'm sorry. The
only drug I have is cocaine and some alcohol. I
didn't do. Whatever the hell else is in this guy's body.
Yeah maybe not a local yeah, so, but you know.
So then then it then it kind of came to
the So then the kind of precipice was we were
supposed to throw the first pitch out at I think
(35:01):
it was the first game of the season major League Baseball, uh,
Boston Red Sox game. It wouldn't have been me, that's
for sure. But so the night before we had a show.
Management sat us down in the dressing room said, hey,
I know it's y'all's day off, but can you all
do this? Are you guys in? And we all five
said sure? So I did. I did agree. Cut two
(35:24):
went out that night, didn't go to bed, talk to
my tour manager that raised next morning and said I'm out.
I'm not doing it, and he's like, look, you need
to talk to your bandmates. I I can't let you
make that call. I'm like, well, I'm telling you I'm
not going. So I told Kevin he was piste off
and he came to try to get in my room.
I double bolted everything. He broke down the door to
(35:47):
the hotel room, but he couldn't get into the master
bedroom that had a double bolt. We exchanged some words,
and the last thing he said to me was I
don't trust you. You're dead to me, and he left.
I called my security to the room. I called her
manager to the room and I said, I quit. I quit.
I'm not gonna I I don't I don't deserve this.
(36:08):
I'm not gonna put up with this. They're crazy. I'm done.
And the therapist finally shows up and She's like, look,
this is your options. I don't think quitting the group
is the answer, but I think you need help. So
I'm suggesting I've already made a phone call. They have
a bed waiting for you at Sierra Tucson and Tucson, Arizona.
(36:32):
It's treatment center. And I was like, well, can I
go home first? I wanted to see my mom and
she's like, well you can, but I I suggest against
it because moms with addicts that are new to this,
they want to be mom. They want to fix you.
She's not gonna be able to fix you. Only you
can fix you with the proper help. And so I
(36:52):
went door to door. I left from Boston flew straight
to Arizona and that was my first time in treatment.
That was July nine, two and one. Is there? I mean,
(37:16):
you know, Kevin breaking the door down, you know, as
you know a recovering addict. Is there a way it
should have been approached to you that would have been
better or are you just happy that anything like that
happened because it was exactly the way that it should
have transpired. I you know, the boys did not know
(37:36):
how to deal with You don't know the extent of
how bad it is. But they had seen the progression
up to that point, and I think Kevin was probably
the most hip to it, and just it was the
straw that broke the camel's back at that point, and
he I think it was more fear based than anger
(37:59):
from him. I think he was terrified that I was
going to wind up dead. So it was from a
loving place. UM. And you know, Kevin and Brian actually
came to visit me and treatment, and you know, we
had talked about how do we how do we work
the tour, how do we finish the tour? What do
we do? Um? And it just so happened that Nick
(38:21):
had just broken his hand, so, um, we had to
take the tour down. And the boys went on to TRL.
The very next day, they flew out to New York
and they they said that, you know, our brothers going
to treatment. And to this day, I've never watched that episode.
I've never seen it. Um. All I know is from
(38:43):
what I've heard is that it's a tear fest. The
fans were all hysterical. Um, people were genuinely concerned. Um.
You know, the boys were all teary eyed, and you know,
this is this is their brother. But I guess everyone
is different and how they would like to be approached.
But do you have any tips out there for some
when listening that has a family member, a friend that
they just know has a problem with alcohol drying. I mean,
(39:05):
you know, look at the end of the day, if
you have a friend, if you have a loved one,
if you have someone that you know is struggling, sit
them down and just say, hey, talk to me. I
see you're hurting, something is off, something is bothering. You
talk to me. And if they want to, they will.
(39:25):
If they don't, they don't. But don't don't make it
about yourself. Don't make it that you're better than or
that you know they have a problem. Don't approach it
that way. You've got to be inviting, you've got to
be patient, and you've gotta be understanding. Um. Yes, it's
got to be a safe place. You can't come in,
you know, guns blazing like you're a drunk. I know
(39:48):
you are quit that you know, defensive exactly, and you
know the claws come out you get pinned in a corner.
That's how I was. I felt attacked even though I
was desperate for help. I wanted help but I didn't
know how to ask for it. So you know, it's
differ for everybody, but it looks thank God today, finally
(40:11):
the mental health crisis is not tucked under the rugg any.
It is now up on the It's up on the
rooftop screaming out. This is a this is a thing.
It is an epidemic. It is affecting millions and millions
of people across the globe. Um, you know, whether it's depression, anxiety, drugs, alcohol,
(40:34):
and it's harder to see because you're not falling down
some steps or no. I mean, I you know, without
getting emotional about it. You know I will go to
I'm sure our mutual friend twitch. You know I mean
that I'm still It's still kills me to this day. Um,
(40:55):
you know, I've sobbed about it, because when you know
someone that well and you just we we as addicts,
we as people that are suffering from any kind of
mental health, depression, anxiety, we are the best at hiding it.
We can keep it under wraps. We deserve like the
(41:16):
Oscar of oscars, because if we don't want you to know,
you're you're never gonna know until we get sloppy then
everybody knows, Like you see me at the Learmitage. Obviously
I got sloppy, you saw it. Didn't really know how
to react. Um, you know. But again, this is a
thing that is affecting everybody, whether it's affecting you directly
(41:39):
or you know someone that is suffering from a mental
health concern. You know. But again I'm glad it's not
under the freaking rug anymore. This week, you know, we're
gonna be working with On our Sleeves, which is an
amazing organization UH to tackle children's mental health. Yes. Like,
here's the thing about that is that you're a parent.
(42:00):
You're a parent. I'm a parent. Everything starts at home.
I believe that one trillion how you raise your kids
will set them up for as well as their teachers,
people that they idolize, that that they respect, That is
going to set them up for either failure or set
them up for success. And in more ways than one,
(42:22):
I'm so glad that I am an addict so that
I could share with my kids the horror stories of
what I've been through and hopefully put the fear of
God in them. Now, Look, they're gonna take their own path,
and I will support them whatever that is, and I
will be there to catch them when they fall. That's
what a good father does. But if I could help
(42:44):
them dodge a couple of bullets along the way, I'm
gonna do whatever I can. I'm a helicopter dad. There's
nothing wrong with that. I am gonna admit that right now.
Like even even being in an open field, I'm like,
stop running. You just want to protect or so but
I'm so bad. I'm so bad. And you know, kids
(43:05):
are resilient. Like if they fall off the couch, it's
a scrape. If we fall off the couch, we're in
the hospital for like a week. And it's like God,
now when those airs, the songs for tomorrow would have
already happened, you know last Wednesday. Um, you know Aaron
Carter obviously was very close with you. I'm sure felt
like your own little brother. Um, what what would you
(43:29):
like to come out of a tragedy like this? You know,
what conversation should we be having? I think the conversation
that should be being had is again, um, kind of
piggybacking on what you were saying. If you know someone
is hurting and you can see it playing his day
(43:53):
say something, don't don't stay mute about it. Even if
they fight you on it. At least it gives them
an opportunity to see that there's someone there that actually
sees them, that cares about them. Now, whether they accept
the help or not, who knows. I mean, he reached
out to me years back and asked for help, and
(44:16):
I willingly was like, Okay, this is what I suggest
you do. You need to fly out here. You need
to go to this treatment center that I called. I've
got it all set up for you. And he wasn't
gonna come. He did, got a car service form, he
got to the treatment center, he checked in, he told
(44:38):
them I don't want anyone to be able to contact
me except for him. And two days later he checked
himself out and four days after that put me on
blast all over Twitter, saying that I was doing it
to glorify myself, which is not true. That's but that's
what addicts do. We if we're not ready to get sober,
(44:59):
it's you. You're you're the fault. You're you're at fault.
It's you. It's not me, You're the problem. Um, But uh,
you know, can I say that I'm shocked? No, sadly.
Did any of us want this? Hell, no, it's it's
just it's just tragic. It's just tragic. It's tragic. You
(45:21):
feel helpless because you know, I got close with him.
I hosted a tour, you know, a couple of years ago.
He was on that tour, and it seemed like he
was doing so well, right it was it wasn't where
he was doing really well, and then like halfway through
the tour you could tell, like, Okay, he's definitely huffing again,
and you know, there's just something wrong. He wanted he
kept coming me because of the Luke promon documentaries like
(45:43):
I want to do a doc I want to talk
about my addiction and all this. I was like, Wow,
that's so great that he wants to expose that, and
I thought that would be so great for him to
reflect on what he's been through and kind of see
it like, oh my gosh, I because in the documentary
that we did, he wasn't in his right mind like
it was. That was the first time I ever saw
him and said, oh, he he has a major problem
(46:05):
right now. Um. And we all tried to do whatever
we could, but like you said, unless you unless you
want it, you're not gonna do it. And I mean
I've even seen buddies of mind that were cord ordered
and they still can't get it. I mean, it's some
people have to lose everything or unfortunately lose their own life, which,
(46:26):
as as horrible as it is to say, hopefully helps
another life. Um, you know, to not go to that point. Um,
you know, that's in the twelve step program that I'm in.
That's what the final step is is being of service
helping other alcoholics, helping other addicts, and just being of
(46:49):
service being a stand up member of society. And you know,
I'm not the smartest, sharpest tack in the freaking shed.
I get that. It's fine, But if my life experiences
can be shared with another human being, there's gonna be
there's gonna be some kind of mirrored effect between me
and any other addict. We've all been through the same
(47:11):
ship period, just different levels of it. If I can
help another addict by sharing my story and walking them
through the same program that I'm being walked through, then great,
you know, but again you have to be willing to
want to do that. You know, Some people like you know,
Jordan's you know, quit cold Turkey, just cold Turkey, never
(47:32):
been to a meeting, never done anything that, just quit
cold Turkey. And he's been sober for god knows how
many years now. You know that is for some people.
That works for me. No, I need structure to help facilitate,
to help me find me. You know. I love that
you're talking about this. I know people listening right now,
(47:53):
are you know, really relating? Okay, so let's just hold
right here. Actually, this looks like it's gonna be a
WHO partner, so we will come back and release part
two this week. Yeah, we're going along all right, So
we have so much to talk about. Still, We'll see
you for part two in a couple of days. Hey,
thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at Frost the
(48:15):
Tips with Lance and Michael Tears in art and at
Lance Bass for all your pop culture needs, and make
sure to write us a review and leave us five
stars six if you can see you next time,
This is Frosted Tips with Lance Bass. And I heard
a podcast. Hello my Little Peanuts, it's me your host,
Lance Bass. This is Frosted Tips with me Lance. I
got my co host, my husband, the love of my life,
Mr Turkey Turchin is with us than Turkey. I'm so
sorry you didn't get to do the last two episodes.
(00:27):
It's very producing for people out there because you did
one episode and then you disappeared. But it's not your fault.
You got stuck in Miami. I did get stuck in
Miami with um, your children, my children when they were
when they were misbehaving, there were yours. No, they're good,
they're good, safe and found. I really really missed you
because I was I was very busy that week. Thank goodness.
(00:49):
So Tom did fly. But all I wanted to do
was put together all the kids toys that we got
them for Christmas because we you know, we're in Miami
most of the time, and so we got them this,
you know, play kitchen, which I've always I've been wanting
them to have like a little play kitchen because that's
what my sister had growing up. Um, they might be
a little too young for it, but no, growing to it. Yeah,
(01:10):
but I couldn't screw the things in It's it's the weekends.
But I stupidly hurt my hand. And the older you
get that, you get really stupid in injuries, right, you
sneeze and nell of a sudden, you break a rib um.
I was throwing something off the back because we live
on a park, and you know you're not supposed to
throw food off the back. But I was feeding my
birds and squirrels, so I had some bird seed and
(01:32):
all that, and I didn't see that the fence was
really that close to me. So I threw it as
hard as I could in the backyard and just slammed
my three fingers. Thought I broke them. This was last
August and I still cannot bend my fingers. It is
so bad. But the doctor said, I don't know. I
guess I hurt my nerve endings and it just takes
months and months for that to heal. I never heard
(01:53):
of that before. But we couldn't put together the play kitchen.
But luckily I couldn't twist the screw. I twisted the screws.
It all came together. Everyone around of applause. Alright, guys,
well enough about us because we have a very special
guest with us. Um, you are secret boy Band Society
member number. I gotta figure this out, um, because I
(02:13):
think we're gonna have honorary members, which turkey or honorary
member number one? So we had of course I'm gonna
be number one because I created the show. Number two
went to uh who was our first guest? Oh my god,
j C. J C. Yeah. Then we had Jonathan Knight,
and now today we have I'm not gonna say my
favorite boy band. You're right there, right up there. Um.
(02:36):
Alexander James McClean, American singer, songwriter, actor, dancer, and model,
is a member of the hugely popular boy band the
Backstreet Boys. Born in West Palm Beach, McLean became interested
in performing at a young age and studied dance while
growing up. A J has been with The Backshet Boys. Three.
Alexander James McClean, Welcome to the show. Thank you are you?
(03:00):
Was so excited that we named our kid after you.
I am actually because I know, like we had talked
about that forever ago that if you guys ever had kids,
We had talked about it. Then I threw it out
and I planted the seed when we did the MTV
Awards and then next thing, you know, it's Alexander. It
(03:22):
just it made sense. You know, Alexander's his other name,
James is my other name, Boom James, and imply I
know you're basically our child. Yeah, well I'm I'm, I'm. I'm.
Quite a few people's child could be like like like
a loose godfather. You know, it's just I'm sure there
is a godfather, but we don't do because we're but
(03:44):
well he's Jewish, I'm Baptist, so we don't really do
the godfather godmother thing. But people kind of appoint themselves
as then I'll just do it. It's like the loose godfather. Yeah,
I'm the loose godfather. I'm the GF. Lisa vander Pump
appointed herself as Got the Fairy, She's the godmother, and
then her friend Wendy is the fairy godmother. She's like
(04:07):
a princess. So you know, we have kinds of wonderful
village people around us. But let's talk about the more
serious part of your career, the modeling part. Yes, um,
I want to know. We're first modeling gig and was
Sears Catalog because I would love to see a little,
a little Alexander James. No ya, No, I did. So.
(04:30):
I was probably around god, I think about four years
old when I first did my first modeling thing and
it was a runaway show for j C for j
C Penny's Penny. But I will say this, so this
was my first my my my very first time knowing
what a quick change was. Um, because it was just
(04:52):
me and my mom backstage, and I had about twelve
different looks. So every time i'd go up, i'd walk
the catwalk, come back quick change. So like midway through
the show again, I'm like four or five years old,
my mom is changing me and I look up and
I saw my first pair of boobs that I had
(05:14):
ever seen in my life, and I did not know
what to think, didn't know what was going No like
model boobs, like like grown woman boobs. And I was
just like enamored. And I was just like my mom
is trying to get me dressed, and I'm just like
She's like, what are you looking at? Come on? Come on?
Uh and then I and then you know, I proceeded
(05:34):
to walk out holding hands with these models like they
were my parents. And uh, but yeah, that was my
that that was my first ever like modeling thing. I
wish I would have been asked. Cut two years down
the road when our career really kind of started to
kind of kick off. Uh. We had done a partnership
(05:56):
with Versacey for like wardrobe for the Millennium Tour, and
Kevin had gotten really close with Donna Tella and she
asked him to do like an actual Versacchy runway show.
And I'm like, damn it, why did he get to
do it? And I don't get it? But I did.
I mean I was lanky and kind of whatever, squirrelly,
and keV was like in the best shape of his life,
(06:18):
and he looked, you know, had that Tom Cruise Christian
Bailee thing going on, because yeah, tall, he was a
handsome he has a handsome man. Yeah yeah, I said,
I don't care if you want one. Love your mom.
I mean, going back to the mid nineties, remember when
I first met you guys, probably in Germany somewhere. Your
mom was the one that always stood out to me
(06:38):
because she was just she was a lovely, lovely woman
and just made me feel so comfortable wherever I went.
And but I just saw her recently where was that.
I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe at your show. Yeah
you're Vegas us from the other side, she is the best.
She just felt like everyone's mom, which was coming from
(07:00):
another group. This is so rare. It kind of was
everyone's mom. I mean there was a there was a
long stretch where we had no no management, no anything,
and she was kind of helping to steer the ship
along with some of our label folks. Um. But yeah,
she's phenomenal. I mean, single, single mom raised me as
good as she could. I think I turned out Okay,
(07:22):
I mean I'm not great, but yeah, the jury is
definitely still out. But now she lives in Vegas. I
moved her to Vegas back in seventeen and she loves
it out there. She loves it. She wanted to get
out of Florida as fast as she could, as most
of us do, for a various reasons. Yeah, when did
you move to Orlando because you moved there specifically to
(07:43):
get an entertainment Yeah. I moved to Orlando in I
want to say ninety one, Um, because I was in
South Florida, Boyton Beach, Boca. I was doing a lot
of musical theater in Boca at the Royal Palm Dinner Theater,
which is now sadly a apartment complex. They couldn't keep
up and I still kicked myself to this day. At
(08:05):
the height of our career, they somebody mentioned to me
an offer to buy out the theater, and sadly that
was right at the beginning of my drug and alcohol days.
So I've just forgot and it, you know, kind of
slept through my fingers, but or slept in my fingers.
(08:26):
But now sadly it's a freaking apartment complex. But um,
but yeah, I mean, you know, I moved. I moved
to like Ultimont area in and then moved to the
sand Lake area right down the street from trans Con
in ninety two ish because I actually met Lou and two.
(08:48):
So for me, it's already been thirty years. Well I
want to know how, because you know, you did my documentary,
which thank you so much, con was so funny, very
eye opening for me and doing all that research, and
for the last few years we've been working on the
scripted version of that, which is going to be coming
out next year. Wait till you see who plays Lou.
It's gonna be great. I can't say the network or
anything that Yet in anyway, the writers at all this
(09:11):
heavy research, and I think they used your mom's book
a lot for you. And there's a lot of things
like is this true or not? So now that I
have you, I want to know. Um. So in the
script they have you in Orlando meeting Howie d at
a Latin festival. Okay, so that was true. That is true,
and you were into your a puppeteer. I did a
(09:32):
little bit of everything. Um you know, this was a
forty five minute one man show that my mom and
I put together for me, showing pretty much whatever I
could do, such magic, puppeteering, Uh, you name it, I
did all of it. You're like the original Miranda. And yeah,
(09:55):
so Howie at the time had had a partner, Jen,
who was his girlfriend at the time. Actually they were
a duo. I was performing outside, he was performing inside.
The first place was it was a thousand dollars and
I won. So my first time actually meeting how He,
I beat him, which is awesome. And then I would
(10:15):
see him a lot at auditions throughout Orlando, whether it
was a Disney or Nickelodeon, because Nickelodeon was massive back then.
Um and then Nick started popping up, which made no
sense because they would, you know, call me and say, okay,
we're looking for a young Latin boy. And then I
show up and it's like a bunch of you and
I'm like, what doesn't make anything? Like yes, blonde hair,
(10:42):
blue line, and I'm like, how do I fit in
here at all? It doesn't make any sense to me.
So I never got any of the parts. Um. And
then uh, and then Nick and I actually made it too.
Nick went further than I did to the Mickey Mouse Club. Um,
he actually got an offer, and I was like, runner
(11:02):
up for whatever that season would have been. Oh, I
didn't know that, you know, even audition for we both
we feel every single person or age we both we
both auditioned. And then Nick got an offer I think
it was for like fifty dollars, and his mom basically
said and right at that same time he got the
audition for us and picked. So his mom is like,
(11:26):
at twelve years old, okay, you decide do you want
to take a chance on this group that may go
nowhere or do you want to take the deal that's
on the table and go be And And that would
have been if I'm if I'm right, that would have
been the season that was justin j C everybody. So
who knows what group you would have ended up in
(11:47):
if that had gone. That was little choices, you know,
that butterfly effect. I mean, that's a big as choice
to make. Would have chosen that, we probably wouldn't be around.
I mean, it really just would have messed up everything.
It would have been way bad, way. Yeah, it would
have been a conundrum for sure. I mean it definitely.
Who knows if I would have been in your group,
you would have been in my group, the groups would
(12:08):
have even happened, Probably not, Yeah, I mean who knows.
That's it's crazy. And then behind the scenes, you know,
Lou Proleman and transcond is putting this whole thing together.
We all know the story. You know, we found out
about new kids on the blogs, like why do these
kids have a billion dollar business? I want to be
in this business. Wanted to create a music group. There
was no such thing as a boy band at that time.
There's that work didn't exist. This didn't exist. So it's like,
(12:30):
I need a group like this, I want a billion
dollar business. Um. I wanted to put you know, this
group together and again this is what my writers, you know,
told me, and I'm like, I have no idea. Lou
needed money, went to some investors and this quickly put
a group together that I think you were a part
of before. Yes, there was. There was a first incantation
(12:51):
of Backstreet Boys, which was myself, how He and Nick
and two other gentlemen, Sam and Charles Um. And within
like the first week, Um, Charles just wasn't it just
wasn't jelling. And how we knew Charles, I believe from college.
So we all went to dinner. I went outside to
(13:13):
have a cigarette because I didn't want to even see
this ship go down, part of me saying sh uh.
So we all chose Howie to be the one to
break the news to Charles because he knew him to say, hey, man,
it's just not working out. So after Charles left, Uh,
we got Kevin. Kevin came from Disney at the time
because actually, yeah, lose limo driver at the time was
(13:37):
friends with somebody that was friends with Kevin. Kevin was
doing Ninja Turtles, he was Prince Eric, he was Sebastian. Uh,
he was Aladdin all at Disney. So we got Kevin
and then Sam didn't work out. We were kind of
clashing a little bit and it just didn't gel. So
he quit. Now we're down to four and we were
(13:59):
going to go back to the original grouping of guys
that had that that had done the first audition because
Howie they lost his freaking they lost his resume. So
a year later he got cast back in the band
because his stage name was Tony Dnetti. So that's why
he got lost in the mix. Lose lose casting. Uh woman,
(14:22):
I came, I think, oh glorious nicol Um. She couldn't
find Howie because he wasn't under Howard Duroux. He was
under Tony Dennetty. So cut too. Now we're down to four.
Kevin's like, listen, I've got this cousin. He lives in Kentucky.
He can sing. I'm pretty sure he can dance. I
don't know. And Kevin called up Brian literally he was
(14:43):
I think a senior or junior in high school at
the time, and he got called to the office. What
up because he's like, why are you calling me in
the middle of class. He's like, well, you know, I
was wanted da da da, Hey, I'm in this group.
Do you want to maybe come down to Florida and
meet the rest of the guys and see if this
is something that you're interested in. So cut to Brian
showed up to the band house. I'm sure you guys
(15:04):
saw the band house at least once or twice. I
don't think so. I mean, I mean maybe you didn't.
I don't know. We that might have fizzled out before
you guys started because our own band house right across
from Universal Studios. Yeah, we were liking like the Lake
Buena Vista area. It's kind of Lake Road, Yeah, definitely different,
but we you know, I was the first one to
meet Brian, and he showed up in jeene shorts, cut
(15:28):
off flannel with like the fray. He had a freaking
fade and he's like, hey, y'all, my name is Brian Lanstrup,
Kevin's cousin. I'm like, oh, good god, man, what the
hell just walked in the door. And that night we
sat in the garage, which was our little rehearsal space.
We had mirrors up and in a fake little dance floor,
and we picked out the harmonies too. It's so hard
to say, goodbody. Yesterday, my boys, two men and two
(15:51):
weeks later we did grad Night Uhtree at Sea World
and that was that was it. That was the launch,
I mean that was the birth thing obviously our career.
We didn't sign with Jive until like but we did
the whole high school, middle school, middle school tour before that,
the E s M Tour had to start. Dr Philip
(16:12):
Hie had to play all those little things. Um, when
you got signed to Germany because it's uh Munich, Germany,
BMG eriola, Um, what was it? Like? I've never heard
the story of when you first learned that you got
signed with a German label? What did you think of?
Because when we got signed over in Germany, I didn't
even know that it was a possibility. Well, so so
(16:34):
we got signed. So the very first one that happened
was actually Mercury Records. Mercury Records gave us an offer
and that fell through, and Dave McPherson, who was the
head of an R at Mercury, moved from Mercury over
to Jive, which was just beginning that basically took us
(16:56):
with him. So once we got signed a Jive, then
we realized that there was I guess you can call
them like many labels around the globe. In the US,
we couldn't find a pot to piss in, like nobody
really cared. But Germany, Austria, Switzerland loved us, so hence
the German label, hence US starting and focusing on those
(17:19):
territories for the better part of almost like two years
um overnight sensations there. So we we went to we
did this thing called the Pop Explosion in Norremberg and
it was US in E y C. Were the only
two American acts on the bill. And our single at
the time was we Got It going on. It had
taken off on like RTL and all the different radio
(17:39):
stations throughout Europe, and people knew our song like it
was crazy. We're in our red, white and blue American
outfits and uh and you know, we fly back to
Orlando and we used to call it no fan Land,
Like we'd get back to the airport and you could
you could hear a pin drop. It was like, damn,
this sucks man, you know. But we were loved story.
(18:04):
But then Spice Girls came out and Hanson because in
the States it was grunge and wrapped that's what that's
all radio was playing, was Nirvana Dre snoop. There was
no room for us. And then Hanson came out with
him about Spice Girls want to be Now pop Radio
was like, oh what is this? And it opened the doors.
(18:26):
Then we come back and now there's fans starting to
show up and things started happening, and I was like, whoa,
what what? Where? Where was the shift? And then it
got to the point where we couldn't even like, we
couldn't go anywhere, couldn't you couldn't do anything, you know.
I used to frequent the Florida Mall until I couldn't,
you know, I got chased down by a tour group
of Brazilian girls. And the only thing we can compare
(18:47):
that to was Beatles New Kids. If you ever went
to their concerts you were, how old were you when?
Probably like yeah, like probably like seventeen eighteen, when when
(19:08):
like it really shifted. Um, do you think that affected
you in any way? Just to have all that love
coming away and I mean girls chasing you everywhere, it's
just something that's I mean, no one can really compare. No,
it's you, don't you know, Because I had a lot
of I personally had a lot of haters, um amongst like,
(19:30):
you know, I only went to high school my freshman
year and then I dipped out and I got tutored
because we were traveling everywhere. I graduated like a year
early when I was seventeen. Um. But like my chorus
teacher at the time, you know, I was so excited
and I could share this with him, like hey, I'm I'm, I'm,
I'm gonna be in this group. It's gonna be huge.
And he don't get your hopes up. Don't get your
(19:50):
hopes up, and just kept like beating me down with it.
And I just and you know, my so called friends,
which are not my friends anymore, we're all saying the
same thing, like, ah, this is gonna last, This isn't
gonna up. And then you know, cut you when things
took off and I'd run into these people, you know,
they loved me. I was their best friend. That I'm like, no,
(20:13):
suck it, um. But yeah, it was a real weird
experience to you know. I'm forty five now and and
and I feel like in the past four to five years,
it's finally started to settle in. Like since there's been
this resurgence, since we did our residency, all these things
have been happening for the good. Uh, it's definitely finally
(20:36):
I can really truly appreciate it. When you're seventeen eighteen,
you don't know what is up or down. Yeah, all
these girls are throwing themselves at you. You're traveling the world.
It's great, but it's overwhelming. It's extremely overwhelming, and it's
very time consuming, and you didn't have time to just
be a kid, and you're just you're becoming an adult.
I mean, I remember I joined in saying at sixteen,
(20:57):
but from Mississippi, that's really like thirteen, right, you know,
we weren't very advanced. Uh, but when I joined the group,
you know, my four guys were already living life, I
mean on their own. I mean they're only nineteen themselves,
but they had been working already for so many years
and definitely having relationships, which I really didn't. You know,
I was a closeted kid. Um, so at that age
(21:22):
being kind of just thrown out into the world and
having everyone throw themselves at you, were you the type
of normal teenager They're like, yeah, just started dating every
single girl. I mean, I you know it was all
older girls. I mean I say older, but I was
like seventeen eighteen. They were like twenty two, and I
was like, oh that's an older girl. Um, but yeah,
(21:42):
I mean I definitely had my fun. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna deny that, because what guy wouldn't at
that age when it was just okay, yes, I I
you know, like I said, everything happened so fast. It
was just kind of this whirlwind. But really was when
(22:04):
it really was kind of when everything kind of went
upside down for all of us in a good way.
But like Millennium, our biggest album to date, that to
me was like this overnight insanity. I mean, you know,
TRL was created because of groups like us. You know,
m M MTV needed to find a way to retire
(22:26):
music videos and they created tr L. You know, they
had the Top twenty Countdown, they had the Rock Countdown,
but they didn't have anything for the Instincts, the Backstreets,
the Christina, the Brittany, the Fanatics, you know, the Blank
Twos and all of this. That was that era, the Hansens,
the Spice Girls, all of it. So you know, when
(22:49):
we shut down Times Square, when all these things happened,
it was just when you couldn't go anywhere is when
it really kind of hit us. And some of us
took it better than others. Others really kind of became
more of like a recluse, um, and kind of ducked
back in their shell. And how do you know how
you're going to act until it's happening exactly when you're
(23:09):
in it, you don't really know what to do. Um.
And I I took it and ran with it, and
then unfortunately shortly after I took it their w own direction. Um.
You know, because I just I kind of lost my identity.
I kind of lost myself. You know. Well, let's talk
about that, because everyone handles fame in a different way.
(23:30):
I always say I was I'm so happy that I
was in a group instead of solo because at least
in a group, we had amazing family members around us, right, Like,
we were very tight with our family, which I think
kept us very down to earth. I had four other
best friends that would just slap you across the face
if you did anything stupid. Um. But then some of
us go off and you know, do some stupid things,
(23:51):
and you know, with you and um, you know, that's
when your addiction started. How how did that start? Do
you remember the first time, um, you had a drink.
The first time I actually had a drink. I was
probably about eighteen. I had a beer with this girl
I was dating, and I hated it. I thought it
was the most it was. It tastes like pissed. I
(24:12):
was like, this is nothing. I know what piss tastes like,
clarified quick, but it was. It was. It was just gross.
And it was like flat water or like flat whatever soda.
But um, like my first real drink. Um. I don't
even know why. But we were at an after party
or like an end of tour party, and I was
(24:33):
I was always the guy that would hang out with
our crew or our band. I knew everyone's first and
last name. I knew their families. I said, hid everybody
in the crew every day that we showed up for
a show. Um, that's just a person I am. You know,
some of the boys may have known a few people,
but I made it a point to make myself known.
I want to know everybody, um, because they're the heart
(24:53):
and soul of any tour. They're the ones that put
the show together. And um. One of the guy was
handing me a shot and I tried to drink it
and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever tried
in my life. And it was sambuca. Then then I
then I went back for another one, and I was like, Okay,
(25:16):
I kind of I kind of like this little burning sensation.
So sambuko was my first drink of choice. And then
I got alcohol poisoning and that that then moved to whiskey,
and then Jack was my was my demise, Jack's Jack's
the one that ended me up in rehab for the
first time. Jack. And then then Jack led to drugs,
(25:38):
which wasn't too far. And it's great because you know
I said in the last episode, you know I drank
a lot at that age, just because I was trying
to hide something right, to know him something um And
I feel like I'm just the type of person that
might not have that h that addiction just doesn't really
stick to me, because I I could go weeks without
drinking if I wanted to. But I mean I was
(25:59):
a too for sure, Like I didn't you know, I
had friends, you know, going out when they're twenty one,
getting annihilated. I didn't really pick up a drink till
I was about twenty five, Like really drink like drink
drink were trying to hide a numb at that page.
I think for me, Um, you know, I'm just now
at forty five kind of in this. I've been sober
(26:19):
now for about almost sixteen months, seventeen months now, congratulation,
thank you, and I this is the first time that
I that I'm finally on this true trip of self
discovery and I'm learning now what set these things off, Um,
whether it was abandonment issues from my from my dad
(26:40):
leaving or you know, for me, Um, even though people
know me as this outgoing, flamboyant fun guy, uh, I'm
I'm I've got very low self esteem, like I'm really
an introvert, and I do all those things in my mind.
I think it's making me feel like I'm like I'm
better then. But when I finally get to a place
(27:03):
where I know I'm no better and no worse than
the person next to me, and when I get to
a place that I can honestly truly love myself and
believe that I have worth, well, I finally have gotten
to the place that I've been trying to get to
for the last years. But I mean it's a daily
thing and but I am learning a lot more about
(27:25):
myself today because I'm taking the time to do it.
I'm doing the writing, I'm doing my twelve steps that
I'm supposed to do in a A and I'm finally
it's really painful because normally around this time the pain
that I'm in currently, I would pick up a drink
because I don't want to feel that pain. What do
(27:47):
you put it into now? Because I mean, I just
see the motivation with you now, I you earn the
best shape of your um, So I mean, what what
are you putting that into? Is it just I'm putting
it into health, I'm putting it into my kids, I'm
putting it into my family, but most importantly, I'm putting
it into myself. Like I'm wearing all my emotions on
my sleeve now, and if something comes up and I
(28:10):
don't like the way I feel, I call my sponsor.
I talked to my family, I talked to my friends,
and I just talk about it as opposed to me
holding it inside and just trying to handle it on
my own. It's okay to ask for help, there's nothing
wrong with that. I try to do it. My ego
told me, you got this. You could do this on
your own. You don't need help. You don't need a
(28:31):
twelve step program, you don't need a sponsor, you don't
need to talk to your family. Don't burden anybody else
with your BS. But it's not burdening anyone, it's just
having an outlet to talk about it. Um, how does
your wife, Rochelle, how did she deal with that? I mean,
she obviously knew what I mean she you know, she
at the beginning of our relationship thirteen years ago. Um,
(28:57):
she thought the drugs and the drinking was like a
casual thing, you know. I mean, hell, I did blow
in front of her, but she thought it was just
a casual thing. Oh, you know, he does this once
in a while. Then she started to see it's okay.
This is now Monday through front, Monday through Sunday. Now
it's sometimes multiple times a day. And you know, I
(29:19):
put her through the ringer, um, you know, and she
deserves every award known to man, both as a wife
and as a mother and as just a human being.
Um to put up with my ship, but um, you know, honestly,
she she ended up going to alan On, which is
basically a a for Norman's um. They put you through
(29:41):
the same twelve step program that we go through, except
you don't have a drug or drinking problem, just to understand,
but to really understand what goes on in my cuckoo mind,
because my mind is pretty cuckoo. But you know, we've
we've really come to a place of understanding that you know,
she gets that relapse is part of the deal. Now
(30:03):
for me, relapses off the table because I don't have
another one in me. The fetinal crisis is terrifying. I
don't I literally deleted every single one of my dealer's
numbers out of my phone, which means if I wanted
to get drugs, I'd have to go to some rando
at a bar or club, and you don't know what
you're getting. That's dangerous and that could be the end
of me, you know. And I'm not gonna leave my
(30:23):
kids father list or my wife a widow because of
something is frivolous as that. So I remember we didn't
even know each other that well. But I want to
say it was the time when you did the call,
because we were saying at the Layer mattage. We just
happened to be staying at the same hotel, and I
remember you saw me or something. You're like, hey, coming here,
(30:44):
and it was in the theater of the lawyer Mattage, right.
They had this like little theater you could screen things,
and it was just you in there drinking by yourself,
I think, probably straight Jack Daniels, and you're like, come
in there. So I went in there and you showed
me the video and you were kind of incoherent then,
and I was like, oh my god. It was the
first time that I realized, oh my gosh, he j
(31:04):
has a problem. Um. And it just really it was
the first time I've ever seen anyone, uh that I
would consider like an alcoholic and never knew what that
looked like. Um. And I remember just feeling like, oh
my god, I hope someone has your back. Do people
know that you have this problem? So I kept it
in the closet for as long as I could until
(31:26):
it finally started to affect my job, my day to
day life. You know, the boys were oblivious because I
still showed up on time, I still did my job.
I was a functioning alcohol until I wasn't functioning. Um.
You know, I was still living in uh in Philip's
landing back in Orlando and um, when we were in
(31:49):
rehearsals for the Black and Blue tour and I called
in sick. I wasn't sick. I was just hungover and
in like what they called a coke cooma like I had.
I hadn't been to bed in days. And the boys
finally started to kind of catch on a little bit
that this was more than just drinking. They broke into
(32:10):
my house. They went to my kitchen. I had a walk.
I don't even know why I had a walk. I
never cooked in my house, but I had a walk.
And they filled it with ice water and they dumped
it on my head and woke me up. I was
pissed as hell. I told him I was gonna call
the cops for breaking into my house. Get the hell
out of my house. Showed up the rehearsal later that day.
(32:31):
We all discussed it water under the bridge. Then I
knew that it was that I was. I was. I
was crossing a personal line when I finally started drinking
on stage the second and last song of our show,
because the encore was shaping my heart, because that was
the single off that was the big single off Black
(32:51):
and Blue. We would do the call and then go
into shape of My Heart and uh. Our percussion player
would have these two red olo cups sitting at his rig.
One was water, one was straight Jack. So I did
this whole stick where it's a fake phone call and
I'm talking to the girl and like the intro of
the song and I and I'd be like, hey, is
(33:12):
it you calling me? And I would look at my
band and then I'd go and I would be like, oh,
I'm so, I'm like parched, and I would just chug
that son of a bit and it wouldn't really hit
me to like the end of the show that I'm
like okay, and then by then I'm back in the
hotel room. But that's when it was like okay, dude,
and I would tell myself this, like what are you doing?
You're drinking on stage. Did you ever feel like you
(33:33):
would be kicked out of the band at any point? No?
But yes, uh, you know. I I was kind of
high and mighty at that time, and the boys flew
out a therapist that I never used to be on
the road. Then they would do random drug testing with me,
and as a true addict, I tried to bs my
(33:55):
way out of my drug test by paying all one
of the local crew guys to piss in a cup.
So I do it, and then I literally this is
the extent that I went to. I put it in
a bag, this guy's p random guy put into bag,
fancied a little hose that I could get because our
(34:18):
tour manager had to watch me. Pete right, So I
had the hose come down my long sleep into my
hand and I stood at the freaking urinal and I
just unpinched it and then it pe so cut. Two
drug test results come back. There's like seven drugs and
I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, this isn't my p
(34:39):
this is on my p. I lied. I'm sorry. The
only drug I have is cocaine and some alcohol. I
didn't do. Whatever the hell else is in this guy's body.
Yeah maybe not a local yeah, so, but you know.
So then then it then it kind of came to
the So then the kind of precipice was we were
supposed to throw the first pitch out at I think
(35:01):
it was the first game of the season major League Baseball, uh,
Boston Red Sox game. It wouldn't have been me, that's
for sure. But so the night before we had a show.
Management sat us down in the dressing room said, hey,
I know it's y'all's day off, but can you all
do this? Are you guys in? And we all five
said sure? So I did. I did agree. Cut two
(35:24):
went out that night, didn't go to bed, talk to
my tour manager that raised next morning and said I'm out.
I'm not doing it, and he's like, look, you need
to talk to your bandmates. I I can't let you
make that call. I'm like, well, I'm telling you I'm
not going. So I told Kevin he was piste off
and he came to try to get in my room.
I double bolted everything. He broke down the door to
(35:47):
the hotel room, but he couldn't get into the master
bedroom that had a double bolt. We exchanged some words,
and the last thing he said to me was I
don't trust you. You're dead to me, and he left.
I called my security to the room. I called her
manager to the room and I said, I quit. I quit.
I'm not gonna I I don't I don't deserve this.
(36:08):
I'm not gonna put up with this. They're crazy. I'm done.
And the therapist finally shows up and She's like, look,
this is your options. I don't think quitting the group
is the answer, but I think you need help. So
I'm suggesting I've already made a phone call. They have
a bed waiting for you at Sierra Tucson and Tucson, Arizona.
(36:32):
It's treatment center. And I was like, well, can I
go home first? I wanted to see my mom and
she's like, well you can, but I I suggest against
it because moms with addicts that are new to this,
they want to be mom. They want to fix you.
She's not gonna be able to fix you. Only you
can fix you with the proper help. And so I
(36:52):
went door to door. I left from Boston flew straight
to Arizona and that was my first time in treatment.
That was July nine, two and one. Is there? I mean,
(37:16):
you know, Kevin breaking the door down, you know, as
you know a recovering addict. Is there a way it
should have been approached to you that would have been
better or are you just happy that anything like that
happened because it was exactly the way that it should
have transpired. I you know, the boys did not know
(37:36):
how to deal with You don't know the extent of
how bad it is. But they had seen the progression
up to that point, and I think Kevin was probably
the most hip to it, and just it was the
straw that broke the camel's back at that point, and
he I think it was more fear based than anger
(37:59):
from him. I think he was terrified that I was
going to wind up dead. So it was from a
loving place. UM. And you know, Kevin and Brian actually
came to visit me and treatment, and you know, we
had talked about how do we how do we work
the tour, how do we finish the tour? What do
we do? Um? And it just so happened that Nick
(38:21):
had just broken his hand, so, um, we had to
take the tour down. And the boys went on to TRL.
The very next day, they flew out to New York
and they they said that, you know, our brothers going
to treatment. And to this day, I've never watched that episode.
I've never seen it. Um. All I know is from
(38:43):
what I've heard is that it's a tear fest. The
fans were all hysterical. Um, people were genuinely concerned. Um.
You know, the boys were all teary eyed, and you know,
this is this is their brother. But I guess everyone
is different and how they would like to be approached.
But do you have any tips out there for some
when listening that has a family member, a friend that
they just know has a problem with alcohol drying. I mean,
(39:05):
you know, look at the end of the day, if
you have a friend, if you have a loved one,
if you have someone that you know is struggling, sit
them down and just say, hey, talk to me. I
see you're hurting, something is off, something is bothering. You
talk to me. And if they want to, they will.
(39:25):
If they don't, they don't. But don't don't make it
about yourself. Don't make it that you're better than or
that you know they have a problem. Don't approach it
that way. You've got to be inviting, you've got to
be patient, and you've gotta be understanding. Um. Yes, it's
got to be a safe place. You can't come in,
you know, guns blazing like you're a drunk. I know
(39:48):
you are quit that you know, defensive exactly, and you
know the claws come out you get pinned in a corner.
That's how I was. I felt attacked even though I
was desperate for help. I wanted help but I didn't
know how to ask for it. So you know, it's
differ for everybody, but it looks thank God today, finally
(40:11):
the mental health crisis is not tucked under the rugg any.
It is now up on the It's up on the
rooftop screaming out. This is a this is a thing.
It is an epidemic. It is affecting millions and millions
of people across the globe. Um, you know, whether it's depression, anxiety, drugs, alcohol,
(40:34):
and it's harder to see because you're not falling down
some steps or no. I mean, I you know, without
getting emotional about it. You know I will go to
I'm sure our mutual friend twitch. You know I mean
that I'm still It's still kills me to this day. Um,
(40:55):
you know, I've sobbed about it, because when you know
someone that well and you just we we as addicts,
we as people that are suffering from any kind of
mental health, depression, anxiety, we are the best at hiding it.
We can keep it under wraps. We deserve like the
(41:16):
Oscar of oscars, because if we don't want you to know,
you're you're never gonna know until we get sloppy then
everybody knows, Like you see me at the Learmitage. Obviously
I got sloppy, you saw it. Didn't really know how
to react. Um, you know. But again, this is a
thing that is affecting everybody, whether it's affecting you directly
(41:39):
or you know someone that is suffering from a mental
health concern. You know. But again I'm glad it's not
under the freaking rug anymore. This week, you know, we're
gonna be working with On our Sleeves, which is an
amazing organization UH to tackle children's mental health. Yes. Like,
here's the thing about that is that you're a parent.
(42:00):
You're a parent. I'm a parent. Everything starts at home.
I believe that one trillion how you raise your kids
will set them up for as well as their teachers,
people that they idolize, that that they respect, That is
going to set them up for either failure or set
them up for success. And in more ways than one,
(42:22):
I'm so glad that I am an addict so that
I could share with my kids the horror stories of
what I've been through and hopefully put the fear of
God in them. Now, Look, they're gonna take their own path,
and I will support them whatever that is, and I
will be there to catch them when they fall. That's
what a good father does. But if I could help
(42:44):
them dodge a couple of bullets along the way, I'm
gonna do whatever I can. I'm a helicopter dad. There's
nothing wrong with that. I am gonna admit that right now.
Like even even being in an open field, I'm like,
stop running. You just want to protect or so but
I'm so bad. I'm so bad. And you know, kids
(43:05):
are resilient. Like if they fall off the couch, it's
a scrape. If we fall off the couch, we're in
the hospital for like a week. And it's like God,
now when those airs, the songs for tomorrow would have
already happened, you know last Wednesday. Um, you know Aaron
Carter obviously was very close with you. I'm sure felt
like your own little brother. Um, what what would you
(43:29):
like to come out of a tragedy like this? You know,
what conversation should we be having? I think the conversation
that should be being had is again, um, kind of
piggybacking on what you were saying. If you know someone
is hurting and you can see it playing his day
(43:53):
say something, don't don't stay mute about it. Even if
they fight you on it. At least it gives them
an opportunity to see that there's someone there that actually
sees them, that cares about them. Now, whether they accept
the help or not, who knows. I mean, he reached
out to me years back and asked for help, and
(44:16):
I willingly was like, Okay, this is what I suggest
you do. You need to fly out here. You need
to go to this treatment center that I called. I've
got it all set up for you. And he wasn't
gonna come. He did, got a car service form, he
got to the treatment center, he checked in, he told
(44:38):
them I don't want anyone to be able to contact
me except for him. And two days later he checked
himself out and four days after that put me on
blast all over Twitter, saying that I was doing it
to glorify myself, which is not true. That's but that's
what addicts do. We if we're not ready to get sober,
(44:59):
it's you. You're you're the fault. You're you're at fault.
It's you. It's not me, You're the problem. Um, But uh,
you know, can I say that I'm shocked? No, sadly.
Did any of us want this? Hell, no, it's it's
just it's just tragic. It's just tragic. It's tragic. You
(45:21):
feel helpless because you know, I got close with him.
I hosted a tour, you know, a couple of years ago.
He was on that tour, and it seemed like he
was doing so well, right it was it wasn't where
he was doing really well, and then like halfway through
the tour you could tell, like, Okay, he's definitely huffing again,
and you know, there's just something wrong. He wanted he
kept coming me because of the Luke promon documentaries like
(45:43):
I want to do a doc I want to talk
about my addiction and all this. I was like, Wow,
that's so great that he wants to expose that, and
I thought that would be so great for him to
reflect on what he's been through and kind of see
it like, oh my gosh, I because in the documentary
that we did, he wasn't in his right mind like
it was. That was the first time I ever saw
him and said, oh, he he has a major problem
(46:05):
right now. Um. And we all tried to do whatever
we could, but like you said, unless you unless you
want it, you're not gonna do it. And I mean
I've even seen buddies of mind that were cord ordered
and they still can't get it. I mean, it's some
people have to lose everything or unfortunately lose their own life, which,
(46:26):
as as horrible as it is to say, hopefully helps
another life. Um, you know, to not go to that point. Um,
you know, that's in the twelve step program that I'm in.
That's what the final step is is being of service
helping other alcoholics, helping other addicts, and just being of
(46:49):
service being a stand up member of society. And you know,
I'm not the smartest, sharpest tack in the freaking shed.
I get that. It's fine, But if my life experiences
can be shared with another human being, there's gonna be
there's gonna be some kind of mirrored effect between me
and any other addict. We've all been through the same
(47:11):
ship period, just different levels of it. If I can
help another addict by sharing my story and walking them
through the same program that I'm being walked through, then great,
you know, but again you have to be willing to
want to do that. You know, Some people like you know,
Jordan's you know, quit cold Turkey, just cold Turkey, never
(47:32):
been to a meeting, never done anything that, just quit
cold Turkey. And he's been sober for god knows how
many years now. You know that is for some people.
That works for me. No, I need structure to help facilitate,
to help me find me. You know. I love that
you're talking about this. I know people listening right now,
(47:53):
are you know, really relating? Okay, so let's just hold
right here. Actually, this looks like it's gonna be a
WHO partner, so we will come back and release part
two this week. Yeah, we're going along all right, So
we have so much to talk about. Still, We'll see
you for part two in a couple of days. Hey,
thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at Frost the
(48:15):
Tips with Lance and Michael Tears in art and at
Lance Bass for all your pop culture needs, and make
sure to write us a review and leave us five
stars six if you can see you next time,
Hosts And Creators
Lance Bass
Langston Kerman
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