Hollywood, Gentrificación & Toxic Masculinity Con EJ Bonilla

Actor/Director EJ Bonilla shares on a secret relationship with Ballet, his start in NYC theater, accepting Jesus at 16, Gentrificación, battling Depression, that Emmy Nom at 20-years-old, Unresolved Traumas + working alongside Will Smith, Jeff Bridges and John Lithgow.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Grassiers Come Again, a podcast by Honey Jermyan.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome to another episode of Grassiers Come Again. Today, We're
thrilled to have a truly talented actor whose journey from
the stages of New York City to the big screens
in Hollywood is nothing short of inspiring. Born to Puerto
Rican parents, our guest started his acting career in theater
right here in New York City and was already making
waves by the age of twenty, with an Emmy nomination

(00:29):
under his belt. You've seen him work alongside legends like
Will Smith, John Lithgow, and Jeff Bridges, and now he's
here to share his story with us. Please welcome the
incredible EJ. Bonilla, actor director.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, how do you know?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
What do you mean? How I do all my homework? Man. Welcome.
I'm super excited to sit with you. Last night, I
was watching you on TV and I gotta say, you
look different. Something has changed. Yeah, no, don't say that.
I feel like you were. I was watching you and
The Old Man and last night and you just look darker,
like darker, and now you're like light skinned. I'm like,

(01:05):
what's going on?

Speaker 1 (01:06):
I was in California. Yeah, I was like on my
off their sad at the beach. I'd be like, yeah, yeah, Dan,
for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
I love the way. I love the way you just
positioned yourself, But you are nowhere near the microphone. Hello, listen,
I gotta describe to you what you just said. Crossed
his legs and lean back, you know, the chair leans
a little back, he said.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
You guys can't hear me?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
He said, is this a lazy boy?

Speaker 1 (01:32):
I don't know what to do? Is that better? You guys?
Let me know? Hi? Yeah, yes, Daddy, forget Sorry, Poppy,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
There you go. That's what I say.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Man Brooklyn, I am a Brooklyn boy. Yeah. Williamsburg before
it was all hipsters and everything.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I was, you know what's crazy? I was looking, I said, Williamsburg.
I wonder how he feels about Williamsburg today.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
I mean, I like organic chicken too, But sometimes I'm
in those restaurants and I'm like, I want to burn
it down, all right, I want to burn it the
fuck down and let my people rebuild it from the scratch. Okay,
it's I really like, I love a conversation about gentrification, but.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
We don't have to get into it.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
But I know we can.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I did wonder I would say, I said, I wonder
how he feels about.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
No, I mean have mixed feelings, Like you know when
when people come in that aren't from our environment, that
are taking pictures of the shoelaces hanging from the wires
and are like it's art, I'm gonna put it in
my gallery, and you're like, motherfuckers, We've been doing this
shit for years. But I mean, I think it's a
deeper conversation. I think I'm and I have even talked
about in the past where it's like, that's why you

(02:39):
do what you do, when you mentor young women and
you talk to kids about education, and you talk to
people about being involved in your community, seeing the art
in your community, seeing light in differents, like keeping.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Our Latinida super alive, because I feel like they're just
whitewashing everything about us.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, I mean even our restaurants. Sometimes you go to
them and you're like, this is not Grandma, this isn't
my eat kitchen. This is somebody who watered down the
pallette for the general public.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Is your building still standing in it?

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Is I still my mom still has got her rent
controled apartment. Are you kidding?

Speaker 2 (03:09):
I love it for her.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, for sure. And they want us out out out out.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
They haven't given you to rite number just yet.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, I mean, we wouldn't do it. I think it's
important to keep as much in the family as you can. Oh,
that's as long as you can.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
I love it for sure.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Born born in the Island.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
No born. My grandmother is ninety four. She's still with us.
Is an amazing woman. And uh, you know, I like
to say, if there's such a thing as being a man,
I learned that from my mom, like she is. She's
a real, real powerful woman. And she raised myself and
my brother by herself. Got that apartment by selling like

(03:48):
her jewelry in the eighties and put a down payment
on it like in nineteen seventy nine, nineteen eighty.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Let's stop for you there. The fact that your mother
owns her apartment, well, that in itself is impressive because
I come from, you know, parents that were Latinos. Also
my husband does to and none of them even thought
about buying anything.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, no, I hear that.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
That speaks volumes about you know, about your mom, like
she had the I don't want to say the Ford site,
but she's just the.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Old school gangster.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
My mom.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
You know, she's a She's that woman who would pretend
to be full and have eaten already so that her
sons could eat. So I think when you come from that,
it's hard not to like enjoy your community. You know,
it's hard not to be proud.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
And you said, she's still there, she comes downstairs.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Mom No, mommy's Mommy's. My brother bought a house in
Queen's when I was like twenty twenty one, okay, and
he moved everybody into it.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Where's that Whyston?

Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, Queen's in Ridgewood. So my brother bought a house
and he's playing Monopoly right now. My brother Ivan, he's
the man. He's playing Monopoly in Brooklyn and stuff like that.
He's got a house in Pennsylvania now, Like he's definitely
the guy who's like, you're not investing, motherfucker, you're not investing.
And I'm like, I don't have money. What do you
want me to do? And I got nothing to go invest?

Speaker 2 (05:02):
But now I was trying to stalk you on social media? Yes, fail,
big fail? Are you not into social media?

Speaker 1 (05:09):
I got rid of it a long time ago.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
I was like, what is happening? Because you know. I
love stalking you know, guests. I'm like, so last week
you were here, so six months ago you were there,
and I went to each social media and I hate
to tell you this, he hasn't posted this year.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
No. I think I got rid of it a while
back because I was involving myself in other people's lives
more than I needed to, Okay, And I think that,
you know, I think it's great for a business. I
think it's great to keep in touch with people. But
I think we take social media too far, and it's like,
how many hours did you spend in someone else's life?
And I think it's I think it's really dangerous for
like younger people because like back in the day, when

(05:45):
you were in high school, when I was in high school,
we would compare ourselves to each other. And that's what
maybe three four hundred people now you're comparing yourselves to
people in high school and fucking Italy with different kinds
of money in all over the world, everything all over
the world. And I think that, you know, they say
comparison is the thief of joy, and that's a fact.
I think it's dangerous, that's all.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
How do you feel do you feel liberated.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
I do. I watch a lot more TV though, so
I don't know that's any better, but I do think that,
you know, at least I'm not in my phone like this.
At least I'm experiencing. And I was talking to this
young lady I'm dating Angel recently, and I was like,
I just need to be more diligent on making sure
that I'm creating right. I think, like I don't have
my process as diligent as it should be. And I

(06:32):
think that being off of social media helps with that,
to make sure that you make space and time for
creating and.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
You know what, you're right, because sometimes I get my
notification and it says I spent eight hours on social media?
What did you do in one day?

Speaker 1 (06:47):
But you're doing research?

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, but I'm still disgusted with myself. I'm like eight hours,
Like that's horrible.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yeah, My Spanish could be perfect, you know what I mean,
Like I could be focused.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Wre you got? I'm trying to that class me an
Angel teacher. She no, No, we're.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Real New York Puerto Ricans. We don't know what the
fuck we're talking.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
About, you know, because my husband is a New York
Puerto Rican and you know what I did.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
You saw them. Oh, yeah, that's love.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
But you know it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
He sounds like a Dominican, But that's love. That's because
you're Dominican. What do you expect You taught him.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Oh you speak like a Dominican, you're whole perto Rican.
You know he understood it, but I feel like he
just never felt comfortable, like speaking in out in public.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
You go to you guys been together.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
You don't want to know.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I want to know high school, twenty years, that's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
I didn't want to know that because that's a long
time for one person.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Damn, you're trying to mix it up. I'll let him. Hey, bro,
get out man, Bro, you speak like a get out man.
It's too long, she said, twenty years. A beautiful guy.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know we met young. You know it was like
we did everything in college, living together, engagement, marriage, all
that good stuff. But yeah, no, he was a typical
you know, Brooklyn, New York, Puerto Rican.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Is that? So what does that mean? That?

Speaker 2 (08:06):
And I told him, and you know, brought him to
Dominican Republic and now he speaks Spanish with no problem.
So Dominican.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
I like that. You looked at you. I was going
to say, man Dominican, right.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, absolutely not. But I did get some stuff from
your social media. I want to know the books you
bought during the pandemic. Talk to me. Did you read them?

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Twenty of them?

Speaker 2 (08:26):
But did you read it?

Speaker 1 (08:27):
It's so dusty right now. I don't read any of them.
I bought some Marion Willinson books, but like like Children
and the Art of Bones, all this crazy stuff, and
I don't know. I played a lot of video games,
you know, I don't know. No, I've read a few
of them.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
I'm a reader, And I was like, wow, I hope
he read these books.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
No, I get to them. I think when I'm in California,
it's really good for me because the commute is like
two hours a day for me because I'm always going
from Culver City to wherever in the valley. And if
you have audible, you can read a book a month
like that easily.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, I was gonna say, how do you commute that
you could read?

Speaker 1 (09:06):
Now? I'm a great driver, you know, one knee that's
what you need.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, I was gonna say, they got a driver.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
For you for Columbus came in fourteen.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
How's your back? Bend.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Oh wow, you did do research, No, for sure. Yeah,
I had to get like a private yoga instructor for
a while. I feel like I could teach Bickram now.
I think that there are beautiful, holistic ways of healing
that we don't always take advantage of. That probably our
people knew about a long time ago, way back, way back.
Why we forgot about because you know, colonialization and all that,

(09:41):
But uh, it's a lot better like living with like
slip discs and things like that, and chronic pain can
be really hard. But I also think that sometimes your
ailments are blessings because they lean, they like, they help
you to take care of yourself in ways that you
wouldn't have if like everything was perfect with your body,
you wouldn't care about what you're putting in your mouth

(10:01):
until it was too late.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
And food heals. I tell people this all the time.
You can heal your body through food, meditation, yoga, breath, yeah,
and just spirituality.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
I believe that truly.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
And I saw in your post you know that the
back issues were you know, it made you feel, you know, depressed,
it made you feel anxious. When you solved, do you
feel like you've solved the back problem.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
For the most part. Yeah, but I think that it's
a thing that I have to take care for the
rest of my life. Like, Okay, at the beginning, it
was something that made me feel like my life was
over already, like everything was already downhill because you have
pain that most people don't have to they're in their sixties,
you know. But what it's taught me is how to
take care of myself in ways that most of my
friends won't learn until they're in their sixties. So by

(10:46):
the time we all get there, I be like, whit
you guys don't want to party? What's going on? Look
hout far I can dent.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
You know, he's gonna be on the cruise with the
vehicles and dancing.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
His ass'll be ready. It's funny. My mother just got
back from a cruise. That's so funny. She enjoyed it,
she did. She's just ouset man. So she goes she
goes out with her with my auntie and they go
and they dance their buddies off.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
And how much satsad did you hear growing up? Talk
to me it was.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
House cleaning music, and I hated it.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
I was just going to ask you that and do
you love it.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Now, I'm like at seven am, Oh fuck.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Man, get that morning piano. No, no, no, no, I get
in pia.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
No. I'm a boy. So they didn't teach me how
to clean. No, I mean no, that's how they do it. Yeah,
my mother and my mother and my stepdad would be
cleaning the house at seven am with Southside just blasting
on our old speakers. Man, hated it, hated it. We
lived in a railroad apartment, so like my mother had
to walk through my room to get to the bathroom.
I know exactly. I that YouTube, bro YouTube. Imagine having

(11:42):
to like hide a girl in your room when you're
in high school. You know how many times I was
like I'm sleeping, I'm sleeping, but I'm sweating. Shut up.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Sorry that's a little too No, no, no, you're good, You're good.
I love these type of conversations. Now, high school. You
were already doing theater in high school? Like when did
this acting bug hit you? Because I'm like, okay, he
was already Danny Zuko in high school. Like with that,
that's real.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Damn, that's so funny. Yes, I was the kid for
those kids who are really shine and secure out there.
I was the kid who would pretend to be asleep
at the lunch table, so it seemed like it was
my choice. No one talked to me. I was very
lonely and on a whim. Our school gym teacher was
the guy who like ran the dance shows for whatever reason,

(12:30):
and as a joke, I was like, Oh, I'll be Danny,
and I got on stage for the first time as
a joke, and then I just fell in love. And
after that I got to like I went to the
rest of my high school years was in the city,
and I had a mentor named Billy Green, who was
Teacher of the Year last year in New York State.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Oh, look at that.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Billy Green is amazing. William Green is a good man,
and he took me after school. When they called my
mother and I was like, where are we going, he
was like, don't worry about it. I called to your mother,
don't worry, We're going. Don't worry. And he brought me
into Harlem and he took me to, uh, why do
you see? Why do you see young dance makers? Come
uda the Uptown Dance Academy. He got me a scholarship

(13:10):
and for a few years I danced ballet. Look at that, yeah,
And I was like the kid who in the city
was like and then we get to the hood and
be like A yeah, no, I don't got tights underneath
these jeanes. That's crazy. Why would I do that?

Speaker 2 (13:22):
He said, what's up, gang?

Speaker 1 (13:23):
What's up? Problem?

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Good? I bet don't worry about my ballet?

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Oh yeah, yeah what those that's the new thing, that's
the new nikes bro. Uh No. Yeah. So I got
into like ballet and stuff like that. The moment I
got on stage, I fell in love and the rest
was history.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
That's different and I love it. What did mom say? Oh?

Speaker 1 (13:44):
They were like, did you see my and my son's gay?
It's okay, it's fine. And I was like, maybe we
don't know yet. We're figuring this out. I think there's
a lot of is this fluid situation? No? No, I
think what it was though, if I'm speaking sincerely, is
that when you're doing things that people aren't.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Used to, especially Latinos.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Especially Latinos, especially old school toxic masculine bullshit, there's a
lot of fear and over communication like sexuality shouldn't matter.
But I think that old school families think about that
stuff and they were sure that, like my kid was
different in different ways and no, I was just a
kid who loved dancing and loved being on stage and

(14:22):
stuff like that. It's actually a that experience has got
me involved in a show that I'm starting to create
now called You Are Not Your Father, And it's a
space where like young men of color can come together
to talk about what it is to be male in
this age, like regardless of how you identify your background
and stuff like that. Having men in a room together

(14:43):
to kind of a conversation about what that experience is, like,
I think is really important because because I don't think
we always have a place to go where we feel safe,
of course, to be ourselves. You know, we're not supposed
to talk about our feelings too much or it means something.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Especially men of color, you know, black and brown men.
Is like the expectation of any type of you know,
being in touch with your emotions or showing sensitivity is
just frowned upon, especially by old school people.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah, no, I mean I talk about this when it
comes to you know, Dad, I love you all the
men in my family. I come from a family that's
been through a lot of different things and I am
convinced that the reason why there are and have been
challenges in my family history is because I come from
a tribe of people that feel a lot, but a

(15:31):
lot of those men didn't have the tools that I have,
And I get to be freely myself without fear in
a way that I know my father people.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
And that itself is a blessing man because I can
only imagine how restricted he felt, not being able to
be who you are, speak how you want to speak,
or dress how you want stress. It's got to be
just so oppressive.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah, I think it is. I think it definitely is.
I think a lot of men are of fighting demons
that they just never got over. Like I think there
are men in their sixties that are perpetually seventeen years old.
That's fine, you know, And it makes me really sad
that there's so much There just is so much toxicity.
I think we talk about masculinity these days, and there

(16:24):
is so much of this, like toxic masculine talk, But
there's also so much positivity to it as well. And
what it is to be a man has nothing to
do with whether you Dan's ballet or you're not over
your sexuality or not like I would love to continue
to have that conversation amongst a group of men that
look like us.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
You know, the show you're creating a TV.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
The goal is for it to be a podcast. We
have a pilot episode. My good friend Sarah Cally's is
our producer, and they're trying to find a space for us.
So I heard, if you're listening, let us know, because
I think it's a really great idea kids like me
and a safe place to go to open up, you know,
barbershop talk without the bullshit.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
That's a fact. We got to connect, you know, off
the mic. We got to connect because you know, we
need that type of show. I think so black and brown,
we definitely definitely need it. I know you're going to
be amazing at it.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
I already like you. Let's be friends, guys. You guys
want to go to Miami, Let's.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Go I stay in Miami. You don't really mean.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
I have good, good Cuban friends over there.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Well, I could be a good Dominican in front over there.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Guys. Let's do it.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Let's do it. The pandemic, I was like, peace, New York.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Did you do we just went to Florida? How long
did you guys stay out there. You didn't say nothing
nothing for mine? No, just kidding, I just us wed No, No,
I was never there.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
Now can we talk about your Emmy nomination?

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Oh that's so funny.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Please, I was so impressed. You were twenty years old? Yeah, well,
let's rewind a little bit. Sure, the guiy in like,
how did you get on this?

Speaker 1 (17:58):
So I was who brought you.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
To this audition? Weren't you so young?

Speaker 1 (18:03):
No? So I shout out to MKS and D. They've
been my management company since I was sixteen.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
And they still are.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
They still are at least Joseph and Jeff Mitchell our
family at this point. Yeah. I found God when I
was fifteen, sixteen years old, and to be really realed,
that relationship is what made me unafraid to make choices
that other kids were afraid to make because of how

(18:31):
it would make them look. And I'm just a kid
from Brooklyn who did the things that sounded fun that
other kids wanted to but were too afraid to The
boldness I mean, I mean, it's part of the reason
why I want my podcast to get started and do well.
I think a lot of kids are looking for permission
just permission to be themselves. And I had the blessing

(18:54):
of really good teachers in my life that gave me
that permission before I knew that I was looking for it.
And for me, that was also my relationship with God.
And on a whim one day, I AOL back when
we had dial up the I google searched open casting
calls for managers and agents, and I auditioned with the
duct tape line on the floor and it was like

(19:15):
a quick okay, thirty seconds go okay, No, thirty seconds
go okay, okay, I'm gonna have fun.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Where did this happen have fun?

Speaker 1 (19:22):
It was in Manhattan, yeah, and I was sixteen, and
he took the train. I took the train. I cut
out of school like appeared or two early. I took
a bunch of my friends with me and we all auditioned,
and uh, you know, cut to today, those people are
still my managers. You know. My mother got a call
two weeks later and was like, EJ, they want to
call you back. They want to call you back. And
I was like, you mean they want to call back?

(19:43):
She was like I don't fucking know. Yeah, whatever that
thin can here's the number. Yeah, she was like call them.
And then you know, my mother signed a contract with
me when I was sixteen and she didn't know none
of us, did, you know. It's just I can honestly
say when it comes to like what we do with
our craft and stuff like that, I love it in
a way that I can't fully express.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
That's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
And so yeah, let's go win some Oscars guys, you know,
let's go keep moving forward.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
And that you will. Now let's talk Gemini man.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yes, oh I made it.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
You know, I feel like I made it to I
wasn't in it. How did that happen? Were you in
lamor New York?

Speaker 1 (20:29):
You know, this industry, we just you audition and you
hope that you you book, and you hope that you yeah,
you know, like I also, I coach actors. If anyone's
looking for a coach, you know, hit me up nine
one seven three seven three six seven seven seven. I
respond to that better than I do anything else. But
I do teach young actors, and I coach a lot
of people, and I can honestly say that I'm good
at what I do. And I believe that a little

(20:50):
bit of wildness is what books, that what people are
looking for in an audition room is freedom and sincerity,
and hopefully that's why I book Gemini.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Man, what did you do? Now? I'm all curious. I'm like,
do you have footage of what you did? Because I
want to watch.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
The initial audition was a lot more fun than I
think ended up on screen. The original script had like
a whole big shootout scene and a bunch of crazy stuff,
but really it's just the idea of a man, you know,
pretending to be invisible and following the assailant. Right. It
was just a real simple audition that was like me
and Will in a room having a conversation, not just.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
Me and Will in a room. You can't just glaze
over that.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
I suppose that. Yeah, I can honestly say. When I
first met I was like, you're tall. You're tall? Man? No,
I think that he you know, I've always felt that
he was a man to look up to in this industry.
You know, you can't look at his career and not
be impressed. So it was an honor.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
You know, that's amazing. Now, who is your favorite actor?
And don't say yourself, please, because I hate when people
do that to me.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
I think that's stupid.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
When people do that, who's your favorite artist? I am?
Who's your favorite apper? I am?

Speaker 1 (21:58):
That's like a false us the thing. It's like, I
don't know what you're doing, false confidence.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Who is your favorite actor? That's what I want to know.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
I mean, there's a bunch you could go back. I
mean we go to like you can talk about Denzel
and how he should have won the Oscar away before
he won the Oscar right, like when he did Glory,
that was like that was something special.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
I was watching him at Malcolm X this morning. I
was like, this man, he should have won from Malcolm.
We all know that he should have won from Malcolm.
God bless him. Denzel.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
You look at Denzel, You look at Viola by Love.
When Viola talks about how she's had a career comparable
to Meryl Street but not the same money or the
same credibility that woman have you got, You've said you saw,
you've all seen woman King.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Just she's iconic, man, that woman right, and the way
she speaks, and you know, just the rawness of her
when she gives speeches real, it just connects.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Because when you've been through that much bullshit to prove
how much you love what we do. It builds a
confidence that can't be faked. That's why when people answer
that question that you said, like I'm my favorite artist,
well God bless you, brother or sister. That's beautiful. But
like real confidence is calm and it's earned, you know,
and Viola earned it, Denzel earned it. I mean, you

(23:12):
can't not look at Leo because that kid's a monster.
He's an actor beast. You know, you ever see him
on set right before a scene? Not me, He's just
he's just in a space in a space in a
space action. Let's go. When he jumps in. I think
he's brilliant. He really is.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
I love that. You know, you've been able to work
alongside you know, such amazing talent.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Oh yeah, Jeff John, let's go. I can honestly say so.
I did this project called The Old Man.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
And I love it.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Have you seen it?

Speaker 2 (23:43):
Of course? What do you mean? I did this project?
We were going to talk about The Old Man, So
talk to me, talk to me because I was watching
the actors, and you know what I love about The
Old Man that you were on screen off the rip, like.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Immediately, I that was the show that like, you know
that you've been talented, and you've felt something in your
belly for a long time. Right, you guys have been
in this industry and you've like pioneered your way into it,
like God bless you all for it. Right, And I've
felt this thing in my belly since the beginning that
other people would call crazy, but I call faith. I

(24:20):
feel it, and I you know, Angel and I were
having this conversation just before I walked in here where
like where does arrogance end and confidence begin? Like? What's
that line?

Speaker 2 (24:29):
It's a very fun line.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
It's a fine line, and I think part of the
line is understanding that I want to be respectful to
how I may come across to you to an extent,
and then to an extent I have to say fuck
it and live in my truth. But the old man John,
let's go. He didn't know this so like the fourth
episode we did together, but I told him one day,
I was like, bro, you help get me due depression

(24:52):
at multiple times in my life. The Third Rock from
the Sun is a hilarious, ridiculous show. He's so free
and so big, and for an actor who was like
trained in Shakespeare to be completely ridiculous and believable is brilliant,
So being able to share screen time and play mental
chess with a man who's easily one of the most

(25:14):
intelligent actors in the business side by side. When I
went home that day, my hands were shaking and I
called my mother and I like had tears in my eyes,
and she was like, but maybe what's going on? And
I was just like, I'm good, Like I like, I
love that, like I felt it, like when you're with
another actor who isn't trying to put on a performance

(25:37):
and they're just in something because I'm a fucking weirdo man,
I believe it. The only way to make it real
to me is to make it real to me. The
only way to make a scene real is to weirdly
believe what's happening. And when you're in a scene with
someone that good, you don't got to do anything because
it the energy is just vibrating. It's just honest. And

(25:58):
to get to work with him and to get to
put on like a Texan accent, to be a Brooklyn boy,
but to get to be like, you don't get to
tell me where I'm from.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Now, I love that. Do you have to do the
rest of the interview like that? Don't play round.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
I can. I can also be from the where ees
from England? I could do that, can you?

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Because you know what's so crazy? I never until I
met at just Elba, I never knew they make him. Oh,
I never knew this man? Stop your ship. I didn't matter. Wow,
I didn't even know American? But you American?

Speaker 1 (26:29):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Stop don't don't so smart?

Speaker 1 (26:32):
Was that supposed to mean? Honey? Damn?

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I thought he was American? I was just like, I'm like,
when this man spoke, I said, what's happening right now?

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah? How can you?

Speaker 2 (26:41):
How can you switch it up that accent?

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Well? I think one of the reasons why I think
British actors do really well in the States talk to
because Americans are so impressed when you sound like that
you're from some other place?

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Should you like.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
If you're like, listen mate, I'd really love to be
able to have a conversation with you like this. You know,
I mean to come over here and be like, hey,
listen from London.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
Man, please, because I'm impressed right now for sure?

Speaker 1 (27:06):
Love, no big deal American. No. I've gone into auditions.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
And like, is this a person who's more majorly? Is
he more Poche is more intentional. He speaks, oh is.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
He more of ageus? Elbows? He down here, you know.
And I think the ability to shift being like that
impresses people, but it's less likely to happen Americans going
to like the BBC because they want to get here.
You know, Hollywood is fucking Hollywood OVA all over the world.
So you get British actors coming over here being like,

(27:36):
I am I am an abc D, I'm American. Hello,
are you impressed yet? You're welcome? You know, and everyone
you know loves it. Someone hire me as a brit please,
because I'm ready.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Here we go now we want to go to the
other side of the pond.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
I'm ready putting on the BBC. I'll take a pay cut.
I don't care, it's fine.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
So your accident was from Texas and the old Man.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
It was, Yeah, it was a slight It was a
slight Twain. It was slight enough so that I'm not
the guy who's trying to put on.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
An accent because I hate that and then I can't
watch the show, and.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Then you can't watch the show. But it was enough
that when I met with the producers, it was a
really proud moment for me when I met with the producers.
I didn't know, but do I have something to watch?

Speaker 3 (28:17):
You know?

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Is it me?

Speaker 2 (28:18):
No, it's me, oh because I have I think something
fell there.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
And white hairs already? Is that what it is?

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Stop? You're thirty years old. Where are you getting white
hair from?

Speaker 1 (28:25):
I don't know?

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Stress Angel stressing you already? She's not like, it's not untrue.
And he just said, listen, she's like on Puerto Rican.
Don't put that on me.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
She's the first Puerto Rican I dated in a long time.
You were white girls and everything. Okay, white girls, black
girls from southern Indiana?

Speaker 2 (28:44):
Okay, you know, is it anything and everything?

Speaker 1 (28:46):
I'm just I'm just want to where's the love? Act?

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Like your mom?

Speaker 1 (28:53):
I think that we can. It gets a little Freudian,
isn't it. You're like, why do I Why am I
so drawn to this woman who cooks for me? Wow?

Speaker 2 (29:01):
You eroin't that shirt for me? Mommy?

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Wow? When you fix my clothes?

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Wow? You want to give me a manicure?

Speaker 1 (29:07):
She did last night? No, even she hates my nails.
She grabbed them and did the clippy clippy. While we
were watching Misfits on Amazon Prime. I was like, he
get met.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
If I can't look at your nails, I'm gonna fix
them for what the.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Fuck is that? I don't care what she does that
to you? What is that? They're beautiful?

Speaker 2 (29:29):
My god, I gotta look at these nails, my guy,
it's not about you, it's about me.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
I don't want to look at the It's like a
weird what is it? What is it? Is it? Like? Okay?
Never mind?

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Plus then if people see your nails and they're like,
she's sleeping with that guy with those nails, nasty, that's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
It's health, they're growing and that's a good thing. Right,
what do you want?

Speaker 2 (29:50):
They need to give us a C on the weekends?

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Dead ass? I was outside, I was like, is it warm?
This is like my nipples.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
I hear you're playing too much.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
I plain too much, but yeah, the old man.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
I love it. I just love the way you show.
I love everything about it.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
It's a beautiful show. John Steinberg wrote it. He's an incredible,
incredible writer, like all those guys. When I found out
we met in LA before I booked it, and it
was a beautiful thing to find out that when I
tested I was the only actor they were interested in,
which was a really good feeling. It's just you know,
you work your butt off. That was for you.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
God put that there for you.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Amen. And I really do think sometimes sometimes God's looking
down at me is like, why do you not believe
in yourself more? You know, like here, let me show you.
Every once in a while, we have to be smacked
in the face with.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Why imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's a real thing, especially for kids like us from
where we're from, you know.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
And I think it has a lot to do with
our background where we came from, you know, inner cities.
A lot of people we grew up with jail didn't
make it. Everyone dead. So it's just like when we
get to a certain space, like I'm not supposed.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
To be here, do I really belong here? Liguizama does
a great job. He's one of my heroes. I'd love
to work with him someday. I love him And he
doesn't know how much I love him, but someday he'll see.
But I was there opening Night of Latin History for
more Onslin History for Morons? Were you there too? No?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
But I interviewed him when that dropped amazing. I have
watched it several times. But that's amazing, It's brilliant. I
mean I was in the audience just truly weeping. I
was like three rows center from the stage, just crying
because he's talking about boys like me.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
And here's the truth. We're given history books full of
men that don't look like us, don't talk like us,
aren't from where we're from, and we're supposed to believe
that those men are our forefathers, and they're not. The
truth is those men murdered our forefathers, you know what
I mean. Like, when we get into conversations like that,
of course you don't feel like you belong. Kid, you
never saw yourself like there are still pieces of me

(31:56):
that have this toxic trade of going, oh no, I
don't do that. That's a and I know I'm wrong,
it's not true, but it's all I saw on television.
It's been ingrained in me, and so you know, it's
an important realization to come to, but it's a hard
habit to break. Imposter syndrome is.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
Real, and I suffer from it all the time. I
found myself in rooms and I'm like, my name is there,
and I'm like looking at the other people, did they
make a mistake? Is somebody gonna tell me I'm not
supposed to be here?

Speaker 1 (32:33):
How you address that for yourself.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
In the moment, it's hard. I feel like I can't
and I feel nervous the whole time. It's like, maybe
somebody's gonna tell me I'm not supposed to be here
and this panel wasn't for me, and it's something I
suffer with. And it's like people like, you're amazing, You're great,
but then I can't even hear myself back when I
record interview.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
I love that you're saying that out loud, though, because
for me, that's the answer is I say everything out
loud and it makes me overly honest, and some people
call me an over communicator, but it's the only way
I know to combat the bullshit in my head is
I'm going to say it out loud and see if
it's true for everyone else. And at least, like I
thought about this, and I was like I was like
in ninth grade. I remember thinking everyone else is hiding

(33:15):
who they really are. And I get it because we
were taught to be very protective of what we have
and who we are and who are around and I
was raised in such a protective environment that I was
sort of shunned for even being so outspoken. And part
of my thought process was, well, okay, if I shout
my secrets from the rooftops on live television, most people,

(33:38):
maybe they'll make fun of it. Another percentage of the
people go right over their head, so God bless them.
But it wasn't for them, and for a few people.
For a few people, it's exactly what they needed to hear.
And so that's why I do it. You know, I
think that artists, ideally, we're not just trying to make
something people clap to. We're trying to make something that

(33:58):
people see themselves in. And so the goal is to
bleed a little bit relatability.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
You know, it's super you know, the biggest reaction I
get from people is when I post that thing didn't
go right.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Ooh, talk to me about that. I love that.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
It's like if something like I bought a dog and
I was in love with this dog, and this dog
turned out to be a terror, and it's a horrible.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Experience that what's her name, what's her name? His name?

Speaker 2 (34:21):
His name is Milo, and he's a golden doodle, and
I didn't know golden doodles were a little crazy. I
just knew that I love the way it looked, and
you know, people are like, what's happening to you with
your dog? Happened to me with my spouse. I just
love the way they look and I they didn't research
and it's weird. It's like the dog. The dog problems
have me connected with so many different people, and that's

(34:42):
what they react to.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
What's why on social media it's like we can't just
share our happy moments because it's fake. Like most of
the time when you're when kids are comparing themselves to
other kids, they're seeing the highlights that have been like
edited and highlighted. You know, it's not real.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
And I try to go against that so much. The
other day, I was going to put a picture and
I was in the beach and I was like, there's
a stretch mark, there's some satellite, there's and you know
what I did, posted them. I said, because you know what, someone,
I don't ever want anyone to feel like perfection is real.
It's not because it's not in the beach picture and

(35:19):
everybody's like, oh my god, I love it. I love it,
And then I'm gonna post mine too, So I see
where you're coming from as far as like being vulnerable
and being you know, open about sharing life is not
perfect because you know that whole pushing that perfection narrative
is what's hurting our kids.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
It's hurting our community especially right the idea that even
the only ones of us that make it are the
ones that are perfect. It's it's not true. Yeah, you're
making me emotional just talking about it. It's I love it,
and you know it's it's very true.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
I suffered a stroke four years ago and I hid
it for nine months. And guess what I did? Nine
months Mark told I told everyone. I shared it. There
was footage of me in a wheelchair. There was footage
of me learning how to walk again. Fucked up. And
I shared it and I said, you know what, maybe
this will inspire someone. But I was so stuck. EAJ.

(36:11):
I'm like, I was perfect. I was perfect. I was perfect.
People are going to think of me differently. People love it,
people love me, and they're like the truth. Yeah, And
I was so scared because I was like, I was
so perfect, life was so perfect. I was at the top.
What are people going to feel like? Are they not
going to like me anymore? Are they not going to
be inspired by me? Totally the opposite. I wasn't inspiring

(36:35):
nobody by working on the radio, by having to clothes,
by learning how to walk again. Now I inspire people
and they hit me and they're like, my father suffered
a stroke and you know, my cousin is right now
And I connected people so differently, and it's like I
was embarrassed and I didn't want to share it, and
I was like, I'm not going to inspire anymore. Nah.

(36:57):
It wasn't about they weren't inspired by the clothes. They
weren't inspired by the job. Now they're inspired by the resilience.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
I have a feeling that were inspired by you always
because you seem like a very sincere human being. I
try to and I believe that that is what connects
to people, is sincerity like any person, any walk of life.
It's one of the things that I'll say to myself
when I'm in those rooms, is all right, take a
breath and just be as honest as you can be,
because people are people, man, and shit.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Happens, and shit happens, and it's all about how you
bounce back.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Yeah, most people don't though. It's why it's important to
share those success stories because most people, by the time
a certain age hits, things didn't go the way they
wanted them to, and fear tells them that they're done,
and so they act like they're done, and they create
this self fulfilling prophecy. It's sad. I'm sick of it.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
And it doesn't need to be like that.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
It really doesn't. I mean, I think about the men
in my life that are older, that are still chasing
or running away from their own bullshit. And like my brother,
you could be in your sixties and seventies and still
find new life. But you have to be willing to
be real with yourself about what you did, what you
didn't do.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Where you are accountability shadow work.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
You know what I mean? Are you willing to hug
the little kid in you that's crying and that's why
you're so angry? You know? I tell my friends this
all the time, Like we all have traumas, but to
heal them, you have to meet yourself where you were
when you experienced that trauma, with the mindset of that kid,
not the mindset that you have now as a rational adult. Well,

(38:33):
it's no big deal, it's fine. My father was just
angry that day. It's no big deal, it's fine. But
that wasn't what you believed when you were three. And
you have to meet that kid in that mindset at
that time and understand that to them it was earth shattering.
You can't heal if you don't do that.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
I love the way you're approaching that because I've never
thought about it like that. You know, it's just the
trauma is there, and you know we're just gonna leave
it in the past. And you know, mom and dad
had these issues, and you know, I experienced things like
growing up in New York. You know, you experience things
like me, like I remember watching someone get shot and
killed at like five years old. Guess what, that trauma
was never cheated. I went back upstairs and I probably

(39:16):
and I probably took a shower and went to school and.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Everything was fine. It's okay, you're fine, you're safe. I
used to get run upstairs on the shoulders of my
mother and my father because gunshots were going off, and
you don't think about it. It's normal to us, so
it's fine, but it's so not normal. It's not supposed
to be guys, damn.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
It, it is remember the blood j Like I was
like five years old and I'm like and now it's
like kids. I don't mean to stay away from kids,
but any little things happened and there and there, it's
a big thing. And with us back in the day
Latinos immigrants, it was just like.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
No, rub some dirt on it, You're fine. Part of
it is you know what it is though, is like
we're over correcting on purpose, but we have to. The
pendulum has to swing all the way one way before
we find balance again. So we had no tools. Now
where everyone needs therapy and everyone are you okay? Then
they eat breakfast? Are you sad? How sad? Are you?
Let's talk about it and we want you to do please.

(40:13):
Let's let's chill for a second. Guys, these kids are fine.
But when I do see, like you know, when we've
been around family members and you see them every once
in a while treat their kid, not on purpose, they're
good parents, but scream at their kid. And you ever
see the fear in a child's eyes when they're like
that moment, That's what makes me go, oh shit, this

(40:34):
is real because when you see a child shake and
get scared because they don't understand what's happening. And then
afterwards we just ignore it. Everything's fine, go to bed,
We don't talk to them. You got to meet a
kid eye to eye on their level and explain, be
willing to apologize, be willing to help them to understand.
Then it doesn't have to be something they hold on to.

(40:55):
But you know how many times that shit happened to
us held onto it. It's like like my family members
will be like, what the fuck, I'm just this way,
this is how I am, And I'm like, no, you're
so angry. No, this is probably a.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Trauma because you know, it was verbal abuse, physical abuse,
emotional abuse. There's a lot of things that we went through.
Like I think back at my childhood and I understand
my mom. She was an immigrant, she had five kids,
you know, there was money troubles. But I think back
and I was like, I was physically abused, I was
verbally abused, I was emotionally abused. Yeah, and yet here

(41:34):
I am trying to lead and be this amazing person
with a bunch of unresolved trauma that I'm like, that's
just how she was.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
But part of it is that we are all works
in progress. We all will have things. You're gonna traumatize
your kids no matter what you fucking do. But the
best thing you can do is try your best along
the way. It's like when people are like, there's no
book on parenting, and I'm like, oh no, there's a
lot of books. There's a lot of books. There's so

(42:02):
many fucking books. Like I'm like, maybe how many how
many hours you on Facebook? Mm hmm, don't get me
started to face audible, Okay, and listen to one book
on childhood trauma that might enlighten you.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
But I feel like our generation is making strides.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
And absolutely we are for sure.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Like really like I feel like, you know, millennials, gen Z,
gen X, like I have hope that things are going
to change.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
They have tools we never had. It's normal to them.
Like I think that if YouTube was invented just ten
years earlier, I have so much money, you know, like
I would do well because you would have gotten started
sooner with tools that we didn't quite have earlier on
you know, that's all.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
That is a fact.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
It is a fact.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
This conversation is good. I don't want it to end,
but so don't stop I know I don't want to,
but I do want to ask you this, Why are
you always playing like a detective altt ada FBI, Like,
what's the deal with that?

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Well, you know what's funny about that? It's the tough guy, right,
the guy who's a little bit has a bit of
an edge. Years ago that I didn't believe that I
could play the tough guy. I was like, I don't really,
it's not my personality. I'm a sweetheart, I'm overly sensitive.
I'm a poet. You know. I lost my stage virginity
at the new Aurekan.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
Oh I've been there. Oh it's beautiful, gritty, I love it. Yeah,
it's still the same.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
It belongs to no renovations, huh cool, no gentrification. No,
it's nice though it is. I love the new Arecan.
And so I never really thought I could connect with
that part of myself. And I think being raised in
Brooklyn with a family that was more in that aggressive
world than I ever was, there was like shame associated
with it too, right, Like if you're a young kid

(43:40):
who who isn't a fighter in that sense, there might
be shame that Like, but I come from a family
of warriors and I'm a poet. How do I address that?
And years ago there was this play called Danny and
the Deep Blue Sea. You guys know of it? No
beautiful play. And what is his name? What is his name?
The actor who was in The Big Lebowski who played Jesus,

(44:02):
not Tony Shaloub. Somebody helped me out. I have to
do it. I have to do it, John Tuturo, Thank you? Okay.
So John Tuturo is a very thin, lanky man, not
the guy that at first glanced you would think was
like the most intimidating, imposing man. And he played Danny,
who is written as a man who is so angry

(44:25):
that he's almost jumping out of his skin that accidentally
just killed a man. In the beginning to play, runs
into a bar to hide away before he meets this
woman that the play is then based on him and
her relationship. And when I realized that that man could
become that person, it changed my mindset about what I
was capable of doing. And I think that that's part

(44:47):
of the reason why I booked those things, is because
because it was what I was afraid I wasn't and
so I focused on it. It's the same reason why
I annoyed my roommates for weeks and spoken in a
Britain accent, because you know, I want to be a
character actor. I want people to see in me everything.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
I saw that in one of your interviews. Interesting, he doesn't,
because you know, a lot of the times we label
people Latino actor. Sure, Latino actor. And I was like,
I like that. He just said that. You know, I
don't know how long ago that interview was, but it
was something to the effect of that, you don't want
to be a Latino actor, you want to be a
character actor.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
Yeah. I so one of the moments I'm really proud of.
I won Actor of the Year at the American Awards
a few years ago, and in my speech, you know,
I talked about like this being for the kids who
are afraid of feeling dumb, the kids in the back
of the class that don't want to raise their hand
because they already think they're wrong. I think sometimes we

(45:59):
hold ourselves back for no reason. Right. I am my flag.
When I walk into a room, I am my flag.
And so often the art that we create is a
reflection of our struggle. Which is fine, which is beautiful,
It's part of our truth. But there's also so many
other stories that we get to tell that are just

(46:19):
us living our everyday lives that maybe imposter syndrome makes
us think it's not for our people to tell you know.
You know, I you know, I don't have to play
Gone Guys on the rooftops to show what I am.
I walk into a room and say hi, and I
show what I am.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
Well, that's a fact. I hate when people overly, you know,
overdo the Latinos stuff, like it's not necessary, you are right, Like, if.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
That's real for you and that's your pride and that's
how you show you not real people, that's fine. But
when it's not real, baby, we could smell it.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Sincerity is sexy, and I feel like a lot of
times non Latinos force that on our people, whether it
be because.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
It's how they relate to us. It's like this is
who you are, right, It's like, no, I want to
make movies about me and my imaginary best friends that
I haven't told people about yet, you know what I mean? Like,
I want to have conversations that I don't know scare
me and put that in my craft and let that
be enough. You know, Like when we think of Johnnguizamo.
We don't just think about Latino actor. Nah, he's just

(47:24):
a's it fucking everything that he's powerful talk about one
of us that isn't. I mean, first of all, I
think he's one of my favorites of all time. But
he shouldn't be like he should be John like fucking
Ben Affleck and all, like they should be his co star.
That man is a star, he really is, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 2 (47:44):
When I saw him in Latin History for Moron's like,
I'm like, how did he memorize all? When I saw it?

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Because he wrote it, I know, But it's just I know,
it's it's my dream to make a one man show
and put it on and be there and have people
in front of you willing to listen so beautiful.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
It's it's you know, I'm a Broadway person and I've
done like probably like fifty plays place Yeah, and that
play with John Leguizamo left me just blown away. I'm like,
how is he doing this? There was nobody there, There
was no cast mads, there was no dancers, there was
no like it was just like wow.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Part of it is because, like I like to say,
comedy is recognition right. It's funny because it's true. And
when people are filling time with fluff, you get bored
on you're waiting for it to be done. But when
everything that's coming out your mouth is real and facts,
you just spend the whole time going that's true.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
I didn't know he the whole time.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
And I mean from a man who did plenty of
other one man shows to then have a show that
was all education, to be a professor and have us
not get bored for two hours. He's a fucking genius.
He's an absolute jen.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Never in life and the history of me as a student,
have I ever felt like I learned so much in
the span of what two hours? Two hours and a half?

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Right?

Speaker 2 (49:06):
That show? What was it?

Speaker 1 (49:09):
Yeah? Have you guys all seen it?

Speaker 2 (49:12):
It's online, it's online. It's on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Bro, Why are you working here?

Speaker 2 (49:16):
They tried to erase us, but you know what, John,
it was almost like, absolutely, though, you're not erasing us.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
I'm working on a show about I mean shown I'm
supposed to say those things out loud, the things that.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
I'm working on in our Blood.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
No, Oh, that is a good film though. No, that's
a personal project. It's about my grandmother's family in the.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Sixties, a Willita in Puerto Rico or in Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
In Brooklyn, So my grandmother came over when she was
in her when she was like nineteen?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Did she come on a boat? Because my grandmother came
on a boat from Dominican to Puerto Rico. And I'm like,
I guess that was the thing.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
It was a thing. I mean, think about it. How
old would your grandma be? God bless her? How was she?
Is she still with us?

Speaker 2 (49:55):
No? She got a long time ago, bless her.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
How old would she be right now? Now?

Speaker 2 (49:58):
I don't remember. I was so I was like seven
when she died. I mean, but I don't remember much.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Bless her. My grandma's ninety four. Couples her and so
and she's still like, look how fast I move?

Speaker 2 (50:09):
She dieting, she'd be watching what she eats, because.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Does you know in the nineties she lost sixty pounds
kept it off? Okay, yes, Grandma, Jenny Craig, you're welcome, kidding.
I'm my fishead soup. I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
To pick out. No, no, no, no, no, oh, she's she.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
I think the reason why my grandmother is so so
vibrant is because of that Island food. I really do.
There is no woman that I've met that has been
through more trauma. And I still catch here in the
kitchen singing and making up songs in Spanish, and I
don't even know what they are, right because I don't
speak Spanish that good. But I'm just like, yeah, Grandma,
come here, baby.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Let's go get the oil in the pots cooking.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
What ninety four year old is still making dinner?

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Absolutely not. My mother's seventy two and she will not cook.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
That's wild. Tell me about it. That's because her daughter
is taken care of her.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
I don't know, husband, Nah, Listen, when I visited my
mother in Florida, she'd be like, they can call me that,
they can call me that she opens up the fridge,
mad bullshit from the Spanish supermarket. O, his ribs and.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
His grandma made it. It's okay. At least it's home
cooked and area home cooked in a supermarket.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
But tell me about your Alita's project. I love it.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
So there's a project I'm trying to work on. I'm
looking for a strong woman writer to write it with me,
because I think that she deserves that but I'm creating
a project called La Rena, which is The Queen, which
is about my grandmother's family in the sixties in New York.
So no one fucking steal it, okay, but I believe
in it and it's all it's all true, like a

(51:38):
play like we could get into a Hordor interview just
about my grandmother's family. Actually, I pitched it to John
Lithgow and you know, he's a theater geek, and he
was like, EJ you guys, you're giving me goosebumps. Okay,
do it on stage, and.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
We need something because right now on Broadway, none of us.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
No, that's a interesting.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
I don't feel like there's anything Latino bass that I
would bela like latinos. We got to go see this,
Like I just recently saw The Whiz and I was like,
we need this, Like I just felt so good. I
was just like, it's such an iconic black movie and
it was just there on Broadway now like that, and
I'm like, where is ours?

Speaker 1 (52:16):
You know, well, you're inspiring me. If there are if
anyone knows a good Puerto Rican writer, hopefully someone from
New York. I just know that I want somebody who
isn't just a good writer, but understands the and the
people and what it is to be like a new Aurecan.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
You need that, You definitely need that. You know, make
sure because one thing with me with Latino projects, they
need to sound right. They need to get it right
because you smell it. They need to feel right. Sometimes
when I watch shows and somebody speaking Spanish, You're like,
y'ad cast her, that's okay. I said, that person doesn't
speak real and I hate myself for it because I'm like,

(52:54):
it's still representation. But at the same time, but I'm like,
I think that might be a white person and I
hate it. Can memorize lines and then I guess so angry.
I'm like this, use the Google Translate your liar.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
No, no, no, yeah, I look, I can confess and
say that I unintentionally got someone fired once. Why not
on purpose? I would never take food out of someone's mistake.
I would never. But I love how he's like, I'm
putting the camera down now because like he doesn't want
this on the on the internet. No, no, no, I

(53:26):
I was doing a project that almost you know those
things that like are almost everything and almost changes your life.
I did a project with FX called The Border and
it was based on a series of Donald Winslow novels.
You guys remember Don Winslow. It was like the Power
of the Dog, the Cartel, these big this trilogy of
books that was huge in the early two thousands, got
millions of followers. FX got contracted to do to turn

(53:51):
that into a TV show, and I got cast as
the leader of the show. And uh, what's his name?
Come on? Famous in the nineties, God, forgive me, what
is his name? The Godfather? Cuban Man, but it always
plays Italian, you know what I'm talking about? Famous, Famous, Famous,

(54:14):
He was in The Godfather. He's not Cuban Man. He
was in Ocean's eleven as the bad guy. Thank you
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Andy Garcia.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Yeah, So, like I got cast in this project and
I find out that Andy Garcia is number two and
I'm number one on the show. Right. Huge, that's a huge,
fucking huge And I'm a huge fan of Andy's and
from a kid from where I'm from to be cast
in that, for this thing to be shot all in Mexico,
that they were gonna let this character age from twenty

(54:43):
eight to fifty something and they were gonna let me
do that and have Andy takeover from like early sixties
to seventies. Wow, And it was going to be this
like intentionally honest portrayal of the drug trade between Mexico
and the US. And you make it and you're feeling
it and it just doesn't go anywhere. It was right
after the strike, and I think that FX maybe didn't

(55:04):
pick it up because maybe it was very expensive, whatever
the reasons are. These things just happen, and sometimes no
one's fault, it just happens. But to get really close
to something that would change your entire career and give
you a platform that you've.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
Never had, can it still happen?

Speaker 1 (55:20):
Or you feel like I don't think that's how those
things normally work. I think people make things and sometimes
it just ends up on a shove somewhere. But amazing
people involved, amazing creators, amazing amazing writers and some actors
in there that we all looked at each other like
this is something special, you know, And of course Andy
Garcia he's amazing.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Yeah, you know what's crazy. I've always liked him as
any type of Latino I don't care.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
Yeah, he's solid, he's a solid actor.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
He is an amazing actor. And you talk about, you know,
things being expensive, and that happened with the show, the
Boz Luhrmann Show, The Get Down.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Oh wow, that's right.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
I remember it was like a in an episode and
it was the most amazing ten million Well that's Boz
learning for you. Yeah, but we need fireworks, why shut up?
But bro, it was like the most amazing show and
it was one season and done.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
Wow. Yeah, money wise, it happened so much like you
guys remember World Lovecraft Country right, we had it right.
It hurts your heart. Look at you. You look like
you as a reflex right now, You're like, shit, that
show was incredible And then you never really know why
these things happen, but they do.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
It sucks, especially when they're amazing.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
Well, sometimes it's it's sometimes it's not money. Sometimes it's
someone had an add toude.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
That's true. I have a show that I still hope
will come back.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
What show is that?

Speaker 2 (56:45):
Why are you loving him? He's like, it's Taxi, it's Mash,
It's Mash. He's waiting for Mash to combas No, No,
it's called the Horrors of Dolores Roach. I don't know
if you Oh, I remember auditioning for that show. Amazing show.
Show you're not picking it up for a second season.
I don't know, there's been no talk of it.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
But he did such a great job.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Like amazing, amazing job. And it was here and it
was in New York and it was Puerto Ricans and
in a long time, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant script.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
I wanted that ship so bad. Who would you have
been to you audition for the kid who worked at
the fin on the shop, her boyfriend, her boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
That was a good he was crazy.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Yeah, he was great.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
He was nuts.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
I don't know if I know the actor, but he
was brilliant and I think he was like maybe is
he from the Island?

Speaker 2 (57:29):
I don't remember, but he was nuts on the show.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Yeah. I'm just like, I gonna say something super believable.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
What what am I gotta tell me?

Speaker 1 (57:37):
No, I remember I remember auditioning for that. I mean like,
I'm gonna take a chef's hat and I'm gonna put
it on and get a knife. And I was going
like this, I went, I did. I brought real chicken in.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
That's one of those shows that I'm still waiting to
hear back. Let me see Alejandro Ermanandez.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Yeah, it was a brilliant show.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
Justina Mychalla was amazing. She's one of my favorite when
it comes to latinas. She she's amazing. One of those
people I'm like, you gotta win, you gotta win. What's next,
you gotta win.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
I'm super big on promoting anything that we put out
for us. You know, anywhere where we identify, or where
I see myself or where I see anyone that is
in my space, I make sure you know, amplify it,
uplift it because I'm thirsty for content from us.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
I love that you're hungry.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
I love that I want shows, I want books, I
want plays, and you know, anytime I find something like that,
I'm like, I spread it. I'm like, yo, you gotta
watch this. Have you watched this? Have you watched it?
Who did I give that show to? I gave a
show to somebody I don't remember who the hell was.
I was interviewing them watch all of it.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
They were like, no, I don't know, I don't think
of it. And I was like, well, look it up,
and then I said it was Mark Viera, comedian and
he was. We were talking about shows and he needed
something new to watch, and I said, this is what
you're going to watch, and then I DM it to
him after the interview. I hope he watched it because
it was.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Really ad I really hope they they get picked up
for a second season because it was a brilliant concept.
It was it was I was exciting to see that
come to fruition.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
One thing that I couldn't find in Our Blood are
we getting a release date? Like? I found like a
teaser and that was it. I was so mad. I
was like, I was mad at YouTube because I'm like,
where is the where is the rest?

Speaker 1 (59:12):
So in Our Blood is give me. It's a brilliant,
brilliant film. That is. It's a genre specific film. It's
a found footage film, right. It's about this young woman
who goes back to her small town to shoot a
documentary about her relationship between her and her addict mother.

(59:33):
And her addict mother is played by Alana ubach Alan.
She's but you know, she she classes as a as
a blankita. But she's been in the industry for so long.
She's one of the most brilliant actors I've ever seen work.
She plays our lead females mother, the who's the attict mother.

(59:57):
We go to interview her and it this tragic conversation
between a mother and a daughter during like a documentary interview.
And I play the cinematographer of the project. So most
of the film you don't even see me. You see
me when I happened to be in front of the
camera when I put this, put it on sticks and
go and fix someone's mic. So it was like a
really interesting experiment for me to like learn how to

(01:00:20):
dance with our actual cinematographer. Sometimes I'm home into the
camera for real and I'm passing it off to him
to make it look like the camera's just moving naturally.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
I was just going to ask you that it was wild,
my lazy ass, you know what I was gonna ask.
Did you get to stay home and all over?

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Yeah? I was eating chips, going is this too loud? No?

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
No, don't stop that. Make fun of me. Tell me
how did that work? Because when I was watching the
interviews and you know, it said that your character is
behind the camera, like was he there? Was he not there?

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Yeah? So I'm there the whole time. It was a
weird experience at times, because sometimes when you're in a scene,
you're fed by the eyes of the actor that you're with.
You know, you're listening hopefully. And sometimes we were in
a car and the person in the driver's seat, in
the passenger seat is the cinematographer, and so I'm in
the backseat going really wow, really wow. You know, I'm

(01:01:13):
just like trying to communicate with this person from a
few feet away. That isn't quite natural. But we just
had amazing actors. We had an amazing director. Pedrokos was
won He's won an Academy Award for his editing on
a bunch of different documentary films. And when are we
getting that? Well, so we hit the festival circuit about

(01:01:34):
a month ago. I saw that, And so the goal
is to someone, for someone to buy us and let
me go into theaters, or we get a streaming service
contract or something that'd be really nice. I don't know.
Other than that, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
We're manifesting. This is gonna get picked up and I'm
gonna be like, and our blood is out and I'm
not gonna have to stalk the whole YouTube. I was
up and down YouTube everywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
I'm like, what is this I will say that like
when I read this script, and I've told Angel this.
When I read this script, it was the best thing
I'd read in years. And when a script can surprise
me and throw me off balance and blow me away
like that, it's special. So the script is special, and
I don't think I should say much more about it.
Just please go watch.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Listen. I ain't trying to give you no trouble. I
want you to get paid.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
They will, They'll be pissed out.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
I want you to give you what are you?

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Tom Holland, come on, man, fucking just fucking everything up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Where do you live? You live here in New York?

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
So I'm by coastal now. I live in the same
apartment my mother has since we younger. Yeah, the room
that I was raised And I'm like, so I'm still here. Huh,
that's cool.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
Did you upgrade the bed?

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
No? No, no, why would you do that? Bunk bets?
You know, we can fit a lot of people there now,
I'm kidding. No, no, no, My mother is a sweetheart, And.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Thanks mommy, and plus these rents in New York it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
You do not want but thanks to thanks to my family,
I can live Bi coastally much more easily. So I
have a place in Culver City in Los Angeles, and
I have a place here in Williamsburg.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Amazing. I love it. This conversation has been absolutely dope. Honey,
You're a pleasure. Thank you the old man. Amazing work.
Congratulations you know on your authenticity and you know being
able to not only think outside the box, but act
outside the box when it's frowned upon so much, you know,
especially you know in our culture, when there's a lot

(01:03:18):
of toxic maximinity, that is just for you to just
be like, I'm going to go for it and I'm
gonna dance and I'm gonna act, and I'm going to
say what I'm thinking. Absolutely amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
Thank you, and God bless you. You mentioned God, and
you mentioned that you accepted God in your life many
many years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
It's the only reason why I'm where I am. And
I was going to say that it's the only thing
that gave me permission to be a little crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
And as long as you're walking with God by your side,
you're gonna go far and wide.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
My fingers are crossed.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
You don't got to cross those fingers I'm ready. God
got you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Amen.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Thank you for coming by. I appreciate you. And this
was an amazing conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
Let's do it again. This was great. I had a
lot of fun. I always getting nervous before interviews. I
had a great time.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
He did amazing and Asis come again.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Thank you. That was good. You gotta tagline product. Graciers
Come Again is a production of Honey German Productions in
partnership with IHEART'SMKA podcast network. M