March 13, 2025 • 46 mins
Tahiry José keeps it real and unfiltered in this exclusive interview, reflecting on her journey as one of the original social media influencers before the term even existed!
She opens up about owning her past—from reality TV to her history with Joe Budden, sharing why she has no regrets about anything she’s done on screen.
Now in her 40s and thriving, Tahiry talks about embracing her age, proving she’s far from done, and how she’s still chasing her biggest dreams. One of those? Becoming a mom. She shares her decision to freeze her eggs while waiting for her final true love to come into her life.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Come Again A podcast by Honey German.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I have so many titles for you, actor, podcaster, Dixon,
reality star. I'm like, what do I want to call you?
He is here with us today, talk to me? What's
your favorite title for you? If you have one.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I just want to say, if the Kardashians can do it,
what kind of fuck?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I know?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Right?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And I curse on here?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Of course you can talk about can I curse on here?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
And I don't want you to blue bluep me? Because
you know I'm a Latina. I talk with passion.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
You could talk Spanish to do everything that.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Why can't they hear Jose do everything?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I love it? Entrepreneur Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Am social media maven, entrepreneur, philanthropist, author, whatever, Like my
mom and my daddy taught me, if I can go,
get in and go get it, take advantage of all
the opportunities right away.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
As soon as I went online. You know how you
google somebody and then it says like top five questions.
The first thing that comes up for you is what
is to hear's nationality and ethnicity?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
And I would think that by now people would like, no,
I'm Dominican. Well, I was born and raised in the US,
but my parents are Dominican, so I consider myself an
Afro Latina Joel because that's what they call it.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Dominican and Joe and Jerk.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I remember that my parents always used to like Dominican.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Jerk with the luck the r.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Born and raised in New York.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes, have you ever raised in Harlem?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Have you ever lived anywhere else?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I lived in Miami for a while, Orlando, Florida. I
lived where else. I traveled the world, so I would
say I paid taxes here.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm where the money where it.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Resides, and that that's what keeps me here in New York,
all right. The money's here, and people don't want to say, like, oh,
what would you want to live in New York? Like
today we're recording it's snowed. Last night we were it
was just was tentative. We're like, it was too bad.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I almost thought you was going to cancel on me,
not me on you girl, But you have same with me.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It was it was my producer I met last night, Well,
the snow, we might have to cancel. I said, listen,
we'll talk to morrow.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I think I met as a hater on the law.
He emailed me like hello, and I was like, I
met a snowy Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I woke up this morning. The streets were clear. I
was like, well, in my little town in New Jersey,
the streets are clear, so I can only imagine in
Manhattan there's gonna be nothing, and here we are this.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I was out while it was snowing. I was like,
I don't know if honey, Germany is gonna make it hell.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, Honey, German is gonna make it. I never listen
we're on like interview like thirty this season. I've never
canceled an interview or been late for an interview. You
know that Latina Dominican, you know, work as.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
A sleep or hailing.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's something that a lot of people don't understand. But
we're gonna make it happen. If we commit to something,
I don't even have to.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Sign a contract that I just shake your hand and
I'm gonna get it.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm gona get it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Done because your word is your bound er. Yes, that's
why I taught us at home. I said that the
other day on video. I was like, Yo, if I
tell you I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna be there
and it's definitely going to happen. You know what I
wondered right away, I said, has she ever had a
regular job that wasn't like celebrity related?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
You know, it feels like I haven't, but I'm gonna
say yes. I want to say early on, I was
never good at getting these jobs in offices and stuff
like walking in and like good evening, Bob or I
went just go for criminal justice. I didn't want to
be an attorney. I knew I already wanted to walk
the beat and have a gun.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Same.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
But I do remember working senior year in high school
at a at a I want to say nine nine
cents store. Then I worked at a at like a
what do you call those pregnancy belly places like with
women for like you have to it was pregnancy clothes,
maternityternity clothes, going with that shit. I don't even have kids,
so you already know. But I worked there for like
(03:32):
about two three months. But I tried to do retail.
I try to do an access store. I try to
be I think I was like a secretary for like
a law like no, I actually was a realtor or
like a realtor office or something.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
But those are the little jobs I would get.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
But I really like I fell into the bartending, hostessing.
I have to hostessing. I want to say I managed
really shortly. Then I owned, I part owned a club,
so like I really graduately. I always looked at opportunities
as growth, So if I started on the bottom, I
kind of climb up to Like it was always very
much hospitality in the street. So by the time I
(04:05):
made it into like being a little bit famous, I
was already really social because that's where.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I made my money modeling. How did this happen?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Oh well, shout out to the fact.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
But the cheeks.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Modeling happened, I want to.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Say after YouTube, But before then, I would get a
lot of people wanting to have me. At the time,
it was the list of Fords, the Gloria of VELAs,
and it would ask me if.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I want to do videos, video vixens.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yes, And I was too shy, And yeah I was shy.
I mean I'm still shy. I just have a big personality.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Okay, like you were shy to like what be on
set everything?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I just never I was going to school. Then I
started bartending. Then bartending turned into me dating a rapper,
and dating a rapper turned into little YouTube you doing
YouTube turn into all of a sudden, I'm on the cover.
But people predicted that in the hood, like they kind
of knew that, you know, I would probably wind up,
you know, somewhere famous.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Because it was I would like too shy to like
jump out the window like and be like, I'm gonna
do it.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But they were like, you're gonna be somebody about it.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
They'd be like, you have you heard about this girl?
Like they would see me at the time. You couldn't
buy but cheeks, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
We got to talk about it because you know where
the Originators is? This ship?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
My mom?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
We are like I remember when either you had an
ass or you didn't have an ass, and there was
no you're gonna buy an ass, there was one between
you wanted Originators.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, and people still argue about that. They'd be like,
what did you get it? I'm like, my shoes are
like your butt. I'm like, what, Oh, you can't buy this.
I mean you can, but then your legs might not match.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I don't know, and that's a problem.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
That's what I call it. Likely.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
How do you feel about plastic surgery? Like would you
ever consider it? I've done it. I'm not ashamed of it,
not like it gave me a big boost or anything.
But it's just here and there.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
But how do you think that you if you need
to tweak you can, you should if you have the
opportunity to possibility to I would say that I've had it,
depending on the time. I think early on, I thought
that you know, women were cheating. It is like you're
cheating and I'm over here busting my ass trying to work.
This is early early on to hear in the career
like I have to go and they compete with you,
like early like early on in the game, I have
(06:11):
to compete with y'all, but cha, I ain't even really
like I'm working for an of you.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Guys just went and got it.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Then, I think somewhere in between, like and five years in,
I was just like, yo, I just hope that these
girls are being safe, like you know, you're researching your doctors,
like if you got to go get it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
If I didn't have it, I probably would too.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
So then I started to kind of be a little
bit more compassionate and like more like I had more
like I'm like, ah, yeah, my butt was if I
needed a tweak.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Why not? And today I feel like if I drop
a baby, when I.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Drop a baby, because I have to be you know,
I have to be specific with the universe. I feel
that if my titties are like somewhere by my belly button,
I shall get some work done.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Like, if you have to do it, you get it done.
Is one and done right.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Right, So I feel like, you know, to each his own,
as long as you guys are like if as long
as women are researching and staying safe, because it's very
it's very dangerous to get these work done.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
People are dying every day.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh every time I turn around, it's like influencer dies
and that makes me so sad. Actress dies and to
make a republic and it breaks my heart because I'm like,
it's a pressure.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Because even I sometimes now at this big age, I
look at certain things and I might not mentally be
realizing that I'm also thinking, like I'm over here thinking,
oh my god, I'm getting older. And the pressure and
then you start to if you don't sit back and
check on yourself and be like, okay, but everybody's getting older,
it's not just me. You feel like you're by yourself
and you have to go do all these things.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You're gonna fall victim to them.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Start.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
The only one thing I hate is when people mess
with their face. Yeah, like I'm looking at you right now,
like you look stunning.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, but girl, let me tell you that.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And see yeah, now you know we're talking about at
this big age. Yes, the podcast Yes with your Best Friend?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Was it a limited series?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Well no, So what's happening right now? Is it our schedules?
So what's happened before? I've had several before podcasts really
like became a thing. I've had several opportunities to start,
but it's it's dealing with other people in the game
where our schedules always it's a conflict of scheduling.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
It's not easy.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
So it's not easy, so you would know, like even
getting guessed also like you have to figure it out,
you know, the scheduling. So when it comes to Danae
and I, Danna is so busy right now on the road, right,
she's a choreographer.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
She's on a road with Megan A. Stallins. She's on
a road.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Oh forget but you so many people be honestly, she's
been on the road with anybody tie data side over
the So she's so busy right now, she's actually busier
than I am. So that's causing a little delay on
the season.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
You know, it's crazy that you bring that up because
I had a podcast in the past. It was called
Life and Spanguish and we had it for years and
Big shadowt Carolina Bermudez, she was my co host. I
love her dearly, but our schedules just couldn't aligned.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So then you have to go your separate ways or something.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
She started doing Access Hollywood and then she was in
California and I was in New York, and you know,
it just didn't work out.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
You try the virtual because the NA and I try
the virtual too, really quickly to set it up. But
it's just our schedules just on online. So now we're
trying to where we think can either go our separate
ways or find ways to still film or just kind
of like I move on with at this big age.
And then when she gets back, she has he always
has to see. I love that we're trying to We're
trying to figure out what to do now. So that's
(09:16):
why we're taking a break, just to see what works.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Now Reality TV. Do you regret doing Reality?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
No, Okay, I it felt like so much and so
chaotic and so exposing as far as like you, your relationships,
your therapy. Should I need a therapy after watching it?
Talk to me. Do you feel like it was pivotal
in your stardom?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Absolutely? I think we came at the right time. This
was before reality was reality again. We were like, really,
you know, the pioneers of.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I remember, I remember you the YouTube, and I remember
enjoying it so much, and I remember enjoying you.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Thank you. I don't re regret it. I'll do it
all over again.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
It definitely set a platform for me to do whatever
I wanted with it at the time. It happened really
fast too, so it's say there were some several mistakes
that were made, but I don't regret it, and I'll
do it again.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
And shit, I need a therapy in it after it.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
But it was it's also therapeutic watching it, so I
can watch myself.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
That's what I was gonna ask you. You watch yourself
back cloud.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Okay, I don't have a choice.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Something does not trigger you Like Netflix the other day
and I was like, dang, I signed a wrong contract
because here I am again and nobody's playing me. But
I'm thankful because now the younger generation could see where
I come from, you know what I mean, Because everything's
just moving so fast and I'm a little older and
half of these girls coming out or retain years somebody
else comes out and they're able to see where I
(10:49):
come from.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Who I like.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I walked into so Far the other day and the
girl who's been taking care of me, who's about ten
years younger, was like she freaked out, and I was
a girl, I've been coming here once a week, what's up?
And she's like, I'm watching on aflicks. I didn't know,
and I'm like what she knew? I was famous, but
she didn't really know kind of why.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Now, like I need you to talk about this and
I'm like wow, and I'm able to watch it and
cry with myself Sometimes. Are there some instances that you're like,
why did I do that?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
All of my exes.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Now now joking, why did I do any of it?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Like do you see yourself and you're like wow to
hear you wow, Like.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
No, I said, wow, why didn't I do other things?
She said that wasn't a n.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
No, I really at the time, it was my real life.
There was no script for me. They do script the
madness because they have to put us in the same room.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So it was real.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
It was happening in real time. So I was exhausted
after every scene. I remember that I would fall asleep
with makeup and lashes, and you know, for us that's
a bad thing because of our skin. They It was
so draining because I was dealing with emotion because it's
the realness.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Like he was on drugs. I was blasting my life.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
My grandmother didn't know I was on TV, and she
was gonna see that I'm going through all.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
It was just a lot. You get hit anybody, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
But the.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
But here's the thing about that.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I feel like the reason why I'm still around is
because I'm relatable and because I really like bared my
soul and women could it was it was, it was authentic.
It was I wasn't pretending to do anything. If I
drove whatever car I did, if I waited at the table,
I was waiting on table on TV. Like, I wasn't
trying to do nothing but be myself. So I think
it all worked out.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Relatability and that's what it's all about. And you weren't
pushing this narrative perfection. Yes you were attractive, Yes, men
loved you, they idolized you, but at the end of
the day, you were just like me very much. Now,
that's one thing you You've always been very transparent, very relatable.
Do you feel like, you know, when it comes to
(12:54):
like younger women, you've played a pivotal role and kind
of like leading like, hey, you don't need to be perfect.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I you know, I would hope, so I would hope that.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I think, well, for the most part, I've run into
a number of women that are like in the scene
now and they're a little older, and I'm older than
they are, and they when they see me, they like
they do a pay homage. They're like thank you, like
bad bitch, like because of you, Like you know what
I mean, you're shit.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah. Yeah, So I have had.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Those moments that are pretty dope when I see the
the you know, the the women now and and just
even even when I did the red carpet for like
for GQ, when I did the red carpet for the
sps that not the gqsp's like the young men were
like coming in that the rookies.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And they're like they were walking in with their mom.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
They're like, mom, mom, look at to Hie because they
remember they don't I'm older than they are, but they
know that mom is a fan, you know what I mean.
So I think that women all over the world is
just appreciated my story.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And I want to take a moment and thank you.
You know you're super transparent about things that I keep
a secret right age, Wait, I would never I was
watching you on Tameron Hole and you were just I know,
one hundred and seventy three now though, oh yes, my
little bully by and goes like this.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I'm like, oh, oh I'm overweight, honey.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
And I was watching and I was like, I said,
my sister would rather probably get shot right now than
say how much you would.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
That's how we were raised, and.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It is it's a Latina think. It's like, you know,
we don't take just a secret ages. And you're very,
very transparent about your age because I'm still backing he's
young exactly cause I'm still bad than a thirty year old.
So I don't care about putting my age out there.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I just do whatever I'm comfortable doing, say whatever. I'm
God like.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I just I'm really really big on when I wake
up in the morning, how do I feel about me?
And if I could look in the mirror and love me,
that's all that matters, you know what I mean. At
the end of the days, those in mind don't matter,
doesn't matter, don't mind. And that's what I have to
keep in mind. And you know, I'm in a world
where everybody loves you. You walk in and the crowds
are like screaming and people want to pick pictures, But
(14:54):
then you have to sit back and be like they
if they don't like me tomorrow, am I going to
be okay with that?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Because do they really really know me? You know what
I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And they don't Right now? What are some some of
the biggest misconceptions about you? What have you seen that
you're like that is so far from the truth.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
A lot of things people I've dated, I'm not subscribing
to all those guys they try, They've been.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Trying to bodies.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Bodies.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Who's who's the most shocking one that you were like,
what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I didn't go to a baby oil party.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I didn't, but I had been around, like I've been
around them, so you ain't participate.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
No, No, I didn't date Diddy, but they said at one
point I did. They said I dated friends. They said
I did a fifty. They said I dated anybody that
was around.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Did you date Drake?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I did? Actually, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
That's a good one. I'm glad you didn't say no
the culture if you have to do it for the girl.
Not yet.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
No, they think they catch me in dr I'm confessing
to that, like fifteen year later. Does it matter?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Said that you could rewind your whoism you can't erase?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That was Oh Drea Dre Dreda said that you could
like rewind your wholeness.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So that was like fifteen years ago. Does that count?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
But no, I I was caught swimming with the dolphins
one time.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I don't know, but you know they're mad at it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I would have swum with the dolphins with Drake too,
Do you know what I'm saying exactly?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
So just things people have dated, they've said, my ass
isn't real half the time. It's not even what they
say is what they're willing to listen to. Like I
could say I'm a college graduate, I could say I
did these these.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Things for the community, but they don't care.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
They care about me being outlanded, scandalous, scandalous. You know,
people just love insanity. So it's sometimes it's not what
people say, it's what they're willing to, like pay attention.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
To people like scandal people.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
You don't be the smartest individual. They don't want smarts.
They want me to walk up and smack somebody.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
They're like philanthrops.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, they was like, yeah, that gay.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
You know, everybody will sign up. Everybody will sign up.
How are you with social media? How much do you share?
And are you on every day?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
No, who I am on every day? I'm not gonna
be I'm not gonna front. But have I taken a
step back for my mental health?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Why it was affecting you.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
It affects everybody.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
If you're too anything you do too much is way
too much, it's gonna affect you. I think that I'm
not as interested as I was before, and I'm at
a space where I'm trying to figure out what's next
for me. It's transition, it's redirecting, it's fulfilling. Like I'm
not so worried about what you guys think of me,
but more about what I think about myself.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
So I've had to take a seat back.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Just for the sake of of moving with intention instead
of attention.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
So important, And where is your heart pulling you?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Like?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
What are you thinking? What do you want to do?
What would make you so happy to do every single day?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I don't know, because I come from a space where
if I'm not making money, I'm not in I know
that's not correct. You know.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
I come from a place where it's survival.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Like so even when I've had or have everything I
could ever want, I'm still thinking I need to keep
working because I don't want to go back.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
So that brings me into therapy.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And that's the scarcity mentality.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
That because that's where that's where I come from.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
That's where I come from too. You know what I'm saying.
I was born Harlem Hospital, raised one hundred and fifty first, Like,
I know what it is. You know your parents experienced poverty.
You're a child of immigrants, and you.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Have all these responsibilities now because I have people that
I have to take care of, like who you know
you have to take care of?
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You know, your parents' birth you and they feel like.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
But Dominican parents are good for that.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
But even as as a as a human being, you
want to take care of those that you love, you
know what I mean. So I'm at a space where
I am not who I.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Used to be.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
But I don't know who I'm becoming. I just know
I'm not the old to hear anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You're like in a waiting area.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, I'm like in a growth area and like things
that used to make me happy and the things I
used to enjoy doing I no longer enjoy.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Like what what fulfilled you before? That doesn't fulfill you anymore.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I used to be super. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
I'm becoming like a prude and ship like I want
to get married and stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Now, are you ready for your soft girl era?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I'm ready for my soft girl era. I don't want
to like, I don't want to like flip a table.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
And you want to struggle like yeah hard?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
No?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
No, I mean I like working. It's it's the only
thing I know. I think, and I think when I'm
not productive, it sends me into a little messes with you.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, it messes with me.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And I'm starting to be okay with just sitting still, yeah,
breathing and saying Yo, it's just like a swell that there,
you know what I mean, like taking my time to
appreciate the little things, to stop and smell the roses,
to where before because I was just so afraid to
like lose and when is this gonna stop? And all
these all the things that I was like that my
parents are still just my my It's like the concrete
(19:54):
jungle instilled in me. Now I'm sitting back saying I've come.
I didn't come as far to come this far. God
always has me. Oh so I but it's hard when
you're like the oldest of fourteen, you're a woman, your
father's been deported, You've had to fight your whole life.
So now I'm just like, oh, I'm so cute to fight, Like,
let me let me think about this and deal with
(20:16):
less emotion and more with facts and from the heart.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
You've lived in survival mode my whole life. That's tiring.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I know I'm exhausted, but now I'm learning to take
a deep breath and remember that it's not about yesterday,
tomorrow is about right now and where I am.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Amen. Yeah, I feel like that's a lot of us, Yeah,
a lot of us. You know, we don't want to
lose what we have. Yeah, it's like what's next? Been there,
done that. There is a lot of pressure. You don't
want to disappear.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
And then on top of that, you're only as good
as the last thing you did, so you have to
always continue to transition.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Amen. Amen, Amen. I just got like news. It was like, oh,
you're number one for the month. This is at work
at I heard my corporate side they were like, oh,
cause you're number one for the year. And I'm like,
I have to do this again.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
See, but you didn't even take your time to enjoy it,
enjoy what.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I was like, I gotta keep this right.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
No thinking about it, not to keep this up. You know,
you know what?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
No see because yes, I understand where you're coming from,
but I want you to understand how important it is
to live in the moment and know that with God's grace,
like the sun never settles on, like God's mercy, Like
it's all God's timing. So you'll be fine if you
learn to just be grateful and next thing, you know,
next year, it comes by. As long as you're alive,
(21:29):
that's what it matters.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
What title? What? What does it really matter? Think about it.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
So I've had to sit back and think about these
things and be like, all right, so I did this, this, this, this,
I've done that.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Why am I so worried? How about I can go.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Back to the fifteen years I've been on a road
without a hit song because I wasn't even rapping, but
I was always booked, and I don't remember a lot
of things.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Why though, Because I was so busy just running on.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
A bag, you ain't take a moment to really like.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Now though, I sit and I'm like, doyak say, I'm
gonna look at it. I'm embraced it. I'm gonna send
it to my mom, and I'm really gonna appreciate that
time I have right now because I don't know about
tomorrow and I don't care about yesterday.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
And you know, it's like every time you turn around,
somebody's gone and you're like, ship.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
If I get another RP on that social media same,
I'm over taking vite see that though they can I'm.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Not ready working out. Yeah, that's a priority for you
on your social media?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Has it always been a priority or is it now
more than ever? No?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I think I was supposed to be a cop, so
you know.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I was always in training and then there were times
when I fell off the wagon because I could drink
like a fish.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Did you take the NYP detest?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I did twice and I passed it. At the time.
You can only take it for real. I could walk
in the beat.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I know, girl, no, we won't be able to get
anything done. But hey, yeah, I was a criminal justice
major and I wanted to be NYPD and eventually I
wanted to be FBI.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
And me too, but my father was a criminal, so
it was over.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
For She's like, no, Web said, I did the background
to things for real, right right exactly, But that's great.
So you've always kind of like been into fitness working out.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yes, and I did it. And at first I did
it for the look. I'd be like the nineteen year
old in the living room doing crunches and my mom
was like, though, I'm like the lane quarters, you're always
like working out, And then it was a thing for
I was I was. Then I did covers and all
the stuff that I've done in the game magazine, so
that was important.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yes, So I needed to be in shape.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
So you prioritize. So it's not like you were just
perfect existing. You prioritized your workout and your body.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I had to.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
But we didn't have social media, so we didn't know.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
We just witter. We have my space.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
We just saw you looking good YouTube.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I was bouncing off trampolines.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Before they said it was I remember the trampoline, but
I didn't remember that it was for a workout purpose. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, I was always on that.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
And like dry brushing, I was always I always had
a big ass and it was and always had.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Sweet so so I used to have to always be
in Cynthia. And then it started that way and then
I got hurt. I think in twenty I want to
say fifteen maybe, and I couldn't work out. And then
I realized, you know, sometimes God has to shake you
and show you that you can do certain things, and
that's when you really want it. I realized that I
needed to work out. It wasn't more about what I
look like. It was more from my mental health. Like
(24:18):
it's my outlet. You missed it, It's my happy place.
I needed to be able to conquer the following week
of my entrepreneurs I love this love.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
You know, it keeps me going. It's where I release.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
So the gym is something that I do now, not
only to look good, so I wear gray so you
can see less of my cottage cheese.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Hey, those great types are not forgiving. I don't even
own a pair.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Right or white? Honey.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I would not buy anything white to hear that's going
to go on my bottom?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Now you should.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
You just got to double. You have to find something
with double the texture. Naked Wardrobe is good for that.
They have a lot of colors and they have double
layers for the.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Seatey lighte honey, because if I wear another pair of
black pants to do this podcast.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Well, I love my black. But then I was a bartender,
so I feel safe in it.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Where was your favorite spot to bart in at?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Everywhere there was money?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Who gave you the most amount of money? Like what borrow?
What's the bronx?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Where right now?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
With bbq's is It was used to call Jimmy's Bronx,
and it was called Sofas, and it was called I
don't remember x Bar, x Bar, my God, my Wednesdays.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Wednesdays went Tahiri at x Bar.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
It was a few of us.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
I used to call it the dream Team before they
took the name before after I retired, But I made
so much money, but then I.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Used the most you ever made in one night. I'm
not gonna I'm not gonna want to get my number
at Bernice It okay, okay, well yeah, we don't want
that problem the irs.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
But I will say this. I worked.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
I had this young and yank like. I was always
been a person who needed change. So I would work
at a restaurant during the day, okay, brunch. Then I
would leave the restaurant and go to strip club. They
were nice when I would go to strip club to
go to legal poker spot, so and I think, and
then I partied too at the same time, and then
I grassed.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I was just doing a lot.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I was always very busy, and I mean so much money.
And I was so good at that. What for you
so good at that?
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Ship? Ever said sometimes?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
So eventually I owned the club, part owned the club
in Harlem that went to ship.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I went to that. I remember it was were gonna
go this is to Hear's.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
New everybody pulled it was no, it was well, it
used to be body and then he became sweet one
thirty five.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Remember they were like this Hearing club we got Yeah,
I didn't even know you were out.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
And I remember twenty fourteen, I put strip clubs on
a strip poles on a Tuesday. I had them pull
them up and pull them off. I have people going
from a little parts of the world. I had Didny
one time outside and busting eghbor. It was like a
really big thing at the time, and then it was
a ship because I wasn't ready to sit there and
cash businesses.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
You have to be there, but.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
You know what I mean, it was just in and out,
and I was still traveling hard. I don't think I
was ready to do a lot of the things that
God gave me, you know, the opportunity to do. At
the time, I was busy, still traveling and working and
TV and posting on Instagram, posting.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Listen, I feel tired right now. Just listen to everything,
you know. Yeah, yeah, Now, when I was my research
on you, I saw that you froze your eggs. Yes,
you did a whole interview with Ebony about you know, fertility.
How did you decide this and when did you decide this?
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Well, unfortunately, what I'm gonna say to the youth will yeah,
you be gave of what you say to the universe.
I think early on in my twenties, I used to
be like, I'm gonna freeze my eggs. Don't know why
because I had mannobials, but I'm going to freeze my eggs.
And eventually there were times in my late thirties where
I'd be doing something expensive and be like, I gotta
(27:30):
freeze my eggs. Why I don't know, because I was
having sex right. And then eventually, at forty something, I
think it was during the pandemic, I don't know what
came over me and I called my sister and I said, Hey,
I want to freeze my eggs and she was like great.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
My sister works for NYU.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
She nice, really up there in that food chain, and
she was like, oh great, let's let's talk about the
money come in and did it during the pandemic. I
just had to. My clock was ticking, and I feel
like my clock is still ticking. And this has been
by choice, and because in the blinket of a night
with people don't realize is that life happens. And I
remember being on a couch with a freaking dress on.
(28:09):
He's in PONTI that still.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Fits, by the way, and here we are forty I'm like,
and I haven't had kids, And you're like, I signed
act because my mom scared the ship out of us
when we were kids. Okay, oh that was number one
movie to go ahead?
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Really yeah, so it was three girls, so she really
scared the ship out of us.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
A mind on their sid and I got we were
afraid to.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
So I lost my virginity. I think at eighteen and
a half. I was senior in high school. You want
to but at the time everybody was working at twelve.
My sister alsto at twenty one.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
But you know what, you're right because I remember being
in high school and people having babies.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yes, and my little sister lost it like in her
late seventh seventeen eighteen.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
So my mom did well because your mom. But you
know I can.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Welfare. It was trauma.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, she really scared the ship out of us. Well,
I mean, I'm not mad at her now, No, I'm
not mad at but then now she's looking at me
like that's all I brother get that's a.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
And I'd be like, oh my mom has said that,
not to me but to my sister.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yeah, she's like and I'm like, and I'm like, but no.
Now everybody's like for Thanksgiving I'm the oldest again, and
my sister had a baby, and my other sister you know,
I'm hoping any day now, and I walk in and
I don't have to explain. I just look atverybody, like,
(29:44):
hold on, yeah, I frozed my eggs in black period
your Yeah, I may not use it, might just get
might just do it the conventional way.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Do you feel like you were ever with your person personally? No,
your person never came.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
I've had great people, had great experiences. I've never had
a great man. And I'm gonna admit till two years ago,
I thought I was a fucking prototype girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I was like the best.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
But I think that my history with men and where
I come from, my mommy and daddy issues, I wasn't
the perfect partner. So I believe that not only I
can't just solely blame a person because it takes two.
But for a while I was like, yo, what it's
not me, it's the type of man I choose. And
then I realized, oh, not only are you choosing or
they're choosing you, or you know, you're so busy wanting
(30:48):
to be loved that you'll fucking take whatever. You know
what I mean? And so although they come in this
beautiful costume of all the you know, the titles and
the money and lavish life and stuff like I isn't
healthy enough to like, I don't think none of my
relationship would have succeeded. And I had to do with
a lot of me too. So two years ago I
woke up and I was like, I have work to do.
I have to undo everything that I've been through, and
(31:10):
I have to do undo everything that I come from.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I have to relearn. I have to unlearn to relearn.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
And that's I'm in the process of that now, which
is why my career is also.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Like and how are you doing that therapy? Okay, self love?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Because you can't love if you don't love you, and
if you don't know what love is or how to
love you, how are you how you're going to choose
all the wrong people around you because you don't really
know what love is and it starts with you.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
At what moment did you have the balls to be like,
I'm part of the problem.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Ah wow, I can never What I learned was there's
an arrival date for every human being, like you arrive,
like you wake up and you have these aha moments
I don't know where you're like, ah, you start seeing
things different, like even like I remember seeing leaves fall
in a fall.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I looked at it and it just fell slow.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
But I was driving and it was just like at
a moment, I'm like, I'm arriving, like all of a sudden,
things are clicking. There is no time and space. Everybody
arrives different. I will say that half of me feels
like why did it take me so long? But then
I have to remember that with his time, like everybody
goes through their own journey. Two years ago, I went
(32:17):
through a breakup with a guy.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Did we know who he was?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Or maybe I posted him? Because you know I'm a bird.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
I'll be like, okay, but no, I love love and
I think I deserve it and I want it so
bad and I'm like I want the family, and God,
didn't you know we see here we are? So I
started dating this person when they didn't even take serious.
I knew he wasn't told enough for the ride. Not
to say that I think I'm the ship, but you know,
you look at a person You're like, I don't think
you can handle all this.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Do you feel like targeted in a way because of
who you are sometimes like he just wants to date
me because I'm too.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Harry sometimes, but then I'm with the ships, like, come on,
I would want to date me too, Let's go, let's
build this brand, Like I want to date you too,
because you got something that you know what I mean,
it's all you know.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
This will be trends with love. But I dated him.
I didn't think that I dated him, And I.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Was just in a space where I wanted to try
something different because all the men that I've tried were
all in the same you know, they they stood me
in the same space. But that's because we understand each other.
We understand schedules. You know, they're not there, it's just different.
So I decided to try somebody with a job, with
a fucking with a seven to three.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh like okay, like a normal regular guy. Yeah, who
wasn't even driving out a CEO. I'm over here, get out,
get out you. She's like, listen, get in, get in.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
How are the kids? Theyated?
Speaker 3 (33:35):
You're a teacher, a math teacher. The math was a
math though, but he was.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
A math teacher.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
So I so I started seeing someone who was really cool,
and then I realized that you know, just because a
person as cool as a friend, he might not be
a great boyfriend and vice versa. And then I realized
that he taught me so much about me and and
what I became in that relationship, what I never wanted
to be. And I took my time. I sobered up.
There was no alcohol. I started reading the word. I
took my time with me after that breakup. I effert
(34:00):
through it, and not because I missed him, but because
I was growing in something like he just kind of
opened my eyes to what I don't want to do again,
and it forced me to look back. And so I
didn't drink. I don't smoke like that's so I didn't drink.
I started to take care of my home. I'm always
on the road, so I hire the organizer, I have
the chef. I don't really you know what I mean, Like,
(34:21):
I hired people to do whatever it is that I
don't do my own makeup. I don't really care to
do my own hair. So I always have, you know, people,
a team that handle all of my stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Even my personal stuff.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
And I took my time to do it myself this time,
and I started to work from the inside out instead
of just always just running and looking good and like
just oh he broke my heart, keep it moving next,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
So you took time time just like dissect what happened.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
So I did forty two days of eating, cooking my
own food, reading, yes straight, going to church, sitting with self,
cleaning my closets.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Sorry you said, sitting with Sylph.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Oh no, my god, that's my brother, my brother, none
of seeing it was sitting withself.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I'm reflecting.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
It was the scariest thing ever, because I believe that
the world I come from, or like just the industry,
we move fast and we don't want to be with self.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
That's why we run so much, like we don't got
time to think on to the next.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
No liquor, sitting yourself looking in the mirror every fucking day,
like just and and and the scarcity of people around me,
and like not going to club and no noise and
it's just you and and I remember being afraid because
I didn't know who the fuck I was.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I'm like, am I gonna like me? And what did
you why?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I have none of these none of these things worked.
What did I learn about you?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I'm a fucking popping.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
I looked in the mirror, I was like, I loved
myself beautiful I had.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, I was just like it was.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
It was scary. And then I remember day seven. I
was like, this, ain't that bad. I don't think I
want to go back to the old me. And that's
where growth begun. And now I swear I forgave myself
everything I've done and did and everything that happened in
that relationship, and my discernment got better. I started to
treat myself better and make different decisions.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's amazing. I love how you have like a point,
like a specific point, like this is when this because
I'm paying attention now you mean intentional.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I'm paying attention, and I think that I didn't. I don't.
I don't think I knew.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
I don't think even even as even back then, I'm like,
I'm smart, I'm smarter than this. How did I wind
up here? And then I look back and I'm like,
just wasn't your time? And you thought you knew better?
You know, we're young, twenties and thirties. You're like, oh,
you know, I think I'm at a space where even
when I'm hurting, I'm like, okay, you're hurting.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Take a pause. What did you learn though? How do
we get here?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
You're using these experiences differently Finally now we're like, yeah, listen,
we got to move completely different. Now what are you
focusing on right now? Is it your acting?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Well? A little bit of everything I am on I do.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
I am want to show call Factor's at English hilarious.
Shout out to Yvonne and ms By and Tommy. It's
about twenty something of us on set is an actual factor.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
I've seen some clips and I'm like, this is a
lot of people.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
I play HR so I have clothes on in classes.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
I love that, you know, still a badass because you listen.
One thing that people got yeah, it's yeah. Like when
I see people like so naked, I'm like, if you
got titties, I could tell you got I can tell you.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
But you know what it is is that you get
once you're like that, once you put you on that box,
those are the those are the those are the roles
that they give you. Like I get calls about roles
all day where I'm the stripper or the crazy girlfriends
and you're like and I'm like, no, I want to
be the lawyer. I want to be the realtor. I
want to be you know what I mean, the professional.
I want to be the HR. So then you know,
I pull all the punches and so it's like it's
testing me and it's showing people a different side of me.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
So I enjoy that show. A lot of talented people
on set.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Then we have at this big age pod, which is
about you know, women being women talking about what we
used to do to war we're doing now at you know,
and she's the name's thirty, I'm forty something, forty five.
So we talk about just transitioning and the things you
used to do, and we make it fun because for
some reason, for women in the game, the older you get,
it's like it's like no, the guy is so listen,
(38:15):
don't even get but I know it's like you're fucking gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
You look so girl I saw tell me like ten
years ago. She's like hit.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Because we were probably like drinking. Now is when, and
we got the money now now we're can afford skin
doin right. Yes, but there is a stigma attached to
like women. It's like I feel like after thirty five,
like women start shining away from like saying their age
or like posting anything that we can age them.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
I'm telling I'm still backing them. The older I get
my d MS, I feel like, yo, you got mother issues?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Bro, Like, what's up?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Who got who? Look like?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
What I need that? I thought, you?
Speaker 2 (38:59):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (38:59):
A man?
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Help us? Here? No? No?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
The place? I got one? I got one fortnight, I thought, yeah,
I got one.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Baby streaming?
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, what's snatch?
Speaker 2 (39:11):
You walk into my house, You'll be like, oh, what's
the youngest you would date?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
The youngest i've dated?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Know that you would date?
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Oh, I don't really I don't really want to be
in my twenties. But I'm not gonna lie and tell
you that I didn't go on a date with a
twenty eight year old. Okay, And I think quarantine Babe
was like in his late twenties and his mom was
like three years older than me, and I was very disturbing.
But she's still my people. She calls me, She's like
to here it can me my son fucked up on you.
I'm like, this is weird, but I love you too.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
You know, sometimes when you enter your third and your forties,
people like, why date a twenty year old? You know,
I don't I don't want a thirty year in my twenties.
But I mean I I do give young energy and
I definitely do and I feel like you're this is
your prime. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
No, I attract the younger guy. But I last guy
was dating he was in his mid forties, and I
appreciated that too.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
The by eleven we have to Margarita and we were like, let's.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Go to you want to you want to lay down?
Speaker 1 (40:02):
I was like, what can look at? You wanna let's
watch the game at home? You want to go to
the bar?
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Now, baby, let's just watch it here? Good bit because
I cooked real quick but cool, don't know not here?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
What is your goal to get?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
A'll serve you a nice plate?
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Look?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
And no, but whatever he likes. If I'm into you,
I'm gonna figure whatever it is you. I'm that girl.
I'm like a little waitress at heart, like because I
did it for I took care of people for such
a long time. That's who I am at home. So
if you say, oh, because I like sprite, you walk
in and there sprite spring, not let's be in your.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
With my with my wedding dress on.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
You love love, I love love, love is everything. I
believe that a person who loves himself a person who's
happy to treat people with care. When you see people
beat you crazy, I started to not take it personal
because it's not about me. I walk in with the
good intention. It's about themselves.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
It's about them.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
And I said that the sporting during a conversation where
someone complained, They said, that person just treats me so bad.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I said, that person is miserable.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
What do you expect from them? Exactly? And it put
everything into perspective to the recipient.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
So that has a lot to do And I've learned
that now in dealing with you know, the fact that
you know I'm still dating the fact is like, okay,
you watch how he treats people, and then you know,
and then you realize, oh, oh you treat and then
it becomes a thing and you're like, oh no, that
has a lot.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
To do with you, not me. I love.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
I love where you're at right now, we too, who know, listen,
it's beautiful and we've watched your life. I can say
that like I feel like I've watched you what you've
been in the public eye, what like twenty ten, So
what I say, so this is what good fifteen years,
Lord Jesus is afar and you know, and you've made
it through a lot. Yeah, and we're here, we're talking,
(41:56):
and you know, I love a lot of things that
you said. You know, you've made peace with yourself, you
made peace with your past, You've found God. You're super
accepting of not just you know who you are, but
your age, your weight. Like you're in a good, good space.
Whatever man you get with right now is probably gonna
get the best version of to hear it safe to say.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah, and it's a it's a no going it's an
it's a never ending job.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Because it takes work every day to wake up and
choose happy person. Yeah, and no things happen and things
and and things get in the way. And it's not
about what they the balls at the curve, balls they throw.
It's about what you do once you you know what
I mean, you you throw that shit right back. So
it's it's do or die, and I'm not gonna die.
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I'm a team doer. So every day it's a choice
to say, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
What, shit is rough, but we're gonna, you know, enjoy
the good and the bad that comes with life.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
It's just life.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
It's a dance and let's live it. What what's one
thing that you want to do that You're like, I
cannot leave this earth without going here or doing this
or experiencing that.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Wow. I wish I would have hit me with that
in the email, because I would have had to funk
that that.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
That's like a question I needed to teach. She No,
I think having a kid I want to experience.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I saw that you said life is not completely I
was put.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
On earth to have babies, and I didn't have babies.
So I think that by now it would probably be
one or two twins if I choose to use these eggs.
If I don't get pregnant by the neighbor tomorrow, how
fine is the neighbor? My neighbor's fine? But no, they
didn't work. Never date the neighbor. Now I gotta run
to take out the garbs because I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
See all the time. Don't sit, you eat. But I
thought that God put me in a perfect place. I
was like, how you're gonna put me right here? Well
I could see him, you can see me anyway.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
No.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Seriously speaking, though, I think that I've been pretty blessed.
I've gone everywhere I want to go. I'm still going.
I just came back for Brazil for no reason. In
terms of money, it's always to be made, whether there
is or there's not. Who gives a fuck, it's you
gotta you gotta like think in abundance. And I've been
really blessed to get what I want, when I want to,
and how I want it. I'm not done. But the
(44:06):
one thing I can't leave Earth without is having a child.
One I want to experience the belly. I want to
get stretch marks, but not really. I want to get
my titties to bother me. And I want to be
able to push. Although I told my doctor told me
not to push, that I'm gonna have a sea section
because I'm narrow. I don't even he said no, she said,
you won't even dilate. So I'm already prepping for the
(44:27):
fact that I have to have this one little baby
on earth that reminds me so much of me for
no reason. I want to experience that love that is
never ending and very traumatic.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
I heard is very much. You won't My mommy is like,
you won't even be able to explain this love. I
want that.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
That's beautiful, and I'm glad that your mom, you know,
is with it and tells you, you know, what you
want to do is something.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
She's like, just do it alone. And I was like,
you didn't do it alone.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
She was like, yes, I did. Your dad was just there.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
And I know it's going to happen for you and
we're going to watch it on.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Fo baby shower. Come on, Barbary me, let's go. You
see the man with the baby shop.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
I mean he might not well if I have my
own baby by myself, I'm not gonna put the baby
the burbery button down.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Nah, we don't need no burbery.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
He had the good the ghetto. Everybody has one on
social media.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Nah that that's so dope. But I want to thank
you so much, you know, for sitting down with me today,
allowing me to get to know you on a personal level,
and you know, your transparency in this community, and you know,
leading for us Latinas after Latinas, you know, the ones
that you know struggle with hiding our age, hiding our weight.
You know, I'm part of the community. Thanks for showing
(45:35):
us that. It's thanks for showing us you know that
it's it's okay. Be proud and put it out there.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Just live, man, life is too short. Just live. Who cares,
nobody cares.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Come again having me?
Speaker 1 (45:50):
That was good. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Graciers. Come Again is a production of Honey German Productions
in partnership with Ihearts microen through the podcast network
Come Again A podcast by Honey German.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I have so many titles for you, actor, podcaster, Dixon,
reality star. I'm like, what do I want to call you?
He is here with us today, talk to me? What's
your favorite title for you? If you have one.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I just want to say, if the Kardashians can do it,
what kind of fuck?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I know?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Right?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And I curse on here?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Of course you can talk about can I curse on here?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
And I don't want you to blue bluep me? Because
you know I'm a Latina. I talk with passion.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
You could talk Spanish to do everything that.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Why can't they hear Jose do everything?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I love it? Entrepreneur Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Am social media maven, entrepreneur, philanthropist, author, whatever, Like my
mom and my daddy taught me, if I can go,
get in and go get it, take advantage of all
the opportunities right away.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
As soon as I went online. You know how you
google somebody and then it says like top five questions.
The first thing that comes up for you is what
is to hear's nationality and ethnicity?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
And I would think that by now people would like, no,
I'm Dominican. Well, I was born and raised in the US,
but my parents are Dominican, so I consider myself an
Afro Latina Joel because that's what they call it.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Dominican and Joe and Jerk.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I remember that my parents always used to like Dominican.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Jerk with the luck the r.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Born and raised in New York.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes, have you ever raised in Harlem?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Have you ever lived anywhere else?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I lived in Miami for a while, Orlando, Florida. I
lived where else. I traveled the world, so I would
say I paid taxes here.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm where the money where it.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Resides, and that that's what keeps me here in New York,
all right. The money's here, and people don't want to say, like, oh,
what would you want to live in New York? Like
today we're recording it's snowed. Last night we were it
was just was tentative. We're like, it was too bad.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I almost thought you was going to cancel on me,
not me on you girl, But you have same with me.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It was it was my producer I met last night, Well,
the snow, we might have to cancel. I said, listen,
we'll talk to morrow.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I think I met as a hater on the law.
He emailed me like hello, and I was like, I
met a snowy Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I woke up this morning. The streets were clear. I
was like, well, in my little town in New Jersey,
the streets are clear, so I can only imagine in
Manhattan there's gonna be nothing, and here we are this.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I was out while it was snowing. I was like,
I don't know if honey, Germany is gonna make it hell.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, Honey, German is gonna make it. I never listen
we're on like interview like thirty this season. I've never
canceled an interview or been late for an interview. You
know that Latina Dominican, you know, work as.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
A sleep or hailing.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's something that a lot of people don't understand. But
we're gonna make it happen. If we commit to something,
I don't even have to.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Sign a contract that I just shake your hand and
I'm gonna get it.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm gona get it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Done because your word is your bound er. Yes, that's
why I taught us at home. I said that the
other day on video. I was like, Yo, if I
tell you I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna be there
and it's definitely going to happen. You know what I
wondered right away, I said, has she ever had a
regular job that wasn't like celebrity related?
Speaker 3 (02:56):
You know, it feels like I haven't, but I'm gonna
say yes. I want to say early on, I was
never good at getting these jobs in offices and stuff
like walking in and like good evening, Bob or I
went just go for criminal justice. I didn't want to
be an attorney. I knew I already wanted to walk
the beat and have a gun.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Same.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
But I do remember working senior year in high school
at a at a I want to say nine nine
cents store. Then I worked at a at like a
what do you call those pregnancy belly places like with
women for like you have to it was pregnancy clothes,
maternityternity clothes, going with that shit. I don't even have kids,
so you already know. But I worked there for like
(03:32):
about two three months. But I tried to do retail.
I try to do an access store. I try to
be I think I was like a secretary for like
a law like no, I actually was a realtor or
like a realtor office or something.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
But those are the little jobs I would get.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
But I really like I fell into the bartending, hostessing.
I have to hostessing. I want to say I managed
really shortly. Then I owned, I part owned a club,
so like I really graduately. I always looked at opportunities
as growth, So if I started on the bottom, I
kind of climb up to Like it was always very
much hospitality in the street. So by the time I
(04:05):
made it into like being a little bit famous, I
was already really social because that's where.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I made my money modeling. How did this happen?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Oh well, shout out to the fact.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
But the cheeks.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Modeling happened, I want to.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Say after YouTube, But before then, I would get a
lot of people wanting to have me. At the time,
it was the list of Fords, the Gloria of VELAs,
and it would ask me if.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I want to do videos, video vixens.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yes, And I was too shy, And yeah I was shy.
I mean I'm still shy. I just have a big personality.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Okay, like you were shy to like what be on
set everything?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I just never I was going to school. Then I
started bartending. Then bartending turned into me dating a rapper,
and dating a rapper turned into little YouTube you doing
YouTube turn into all of a sudden, I'm on the cover.
But people predicted that in the hood, like they kind
of knew that, you know, I would probably wind up,
you know, somewhere famous.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Because it was I would like too shy to like
jump out the window like and be like, I'm gonna
do it.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But they were like, you're gonna be somebody about it.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
They'd be like, you have you heard about this girl?
Like they would see me at the time. You couldn't
buy but cheeks, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
We got to talk about it because you know where
the Originators is? This ship?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
My mom?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
We are like I remember when either you had an
ass or you didn't have an ass, and there was
no you're gonna buy an ass, there was one between
you wanted Originators.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, and people still argue about that. They'd be like,
what did you get it? I'm like, my shoes are
like your butt. I'm like, what, Oh, you can't buy this.
I mean you can, but then your legs might not match.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I don't know, and that's a problem.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
That's what I call it. Likely.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
How do you feel about plastic surgery? Like would you
ever consider it? I've done it. I'm not ashamed of it,
not like it gave me a big boost or anything.
But it's just here and there.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
But how do you think that you if you need
to tweak you can, you should if you have the
opportunity to possibility to I would say that I've had it,
depending on the time. I think early on, I thought
that you know, women were cheating. It is like you're
cheating and I'm over here busting my ass trying to work.
This is early early on to hear in the career
like I have to go and they compete with you,
like early like early on in the game, I have
(06:11):
to compete with y'all, but cha, I ain't even really
like I'm working for an of you.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Guys just went and got it.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Then, I think somewhere in between, like and five years in,
I was just like, yo, I just hope that these
girls are being safe, like you know, you're researching your doctors,
like if you got to go get it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
If I didn't have it, I probably would too.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
So then I started to kind of be a little
bit more compassionate and like more like I had more
like I'm like, ah, yeah, my butt was if I
needed a tweak.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Why not? And today I feel like if I drop
a baby, when I.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Drop a baby, because I have to be you know,
I have to be specific with the universe. I feel
that if my titties are like somewhere by my belly button,
I shall get some work done.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Like, if you have to do it, you get it done.
Is one and done right.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Right, So I feel like, you know, to each his own,
as long as you guys are like if as long
as women are researching and staying safe, because it's very
it's very dangerous to get these work done.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
People are dying every day.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh every time I turn around, it's like influencer dies
and that makes me so sad. Actress dies and to
make a republic and it breaks my heart because I'm like,
it's a pressure.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Because even I sometimes now at this big age, I
look at certain things and I might not mentally be
realizing that I'm also thinking, like I'm over here thinking,
oh my god, I'm getting older. And the pressure and
then you start to if you don't sit back and
check on yourself and be like, okay, but everybody's getting older,
it's not just me. You feel like you're by yourself
and you have to go do all these things.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You're gonna fall victim to them.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Start.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
The only one thing I hate is when people mess
with their face. Yeah, like I'm looking at you right now,
like you look stunning.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, but girl, let me tell you that.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And see yeah, now you know we're talking about at
this big age. Yes, the podcast Yes with your Best Friend?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Was it a limited series?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Well no, So what's happening right now? Is it our schedules?
So what's happened before? I've had several before podcasts really
like became a thing. I've had several opportunities to start,
but it's it's dealing with other people in the game
where our schedules always it's a conflict of scheduling.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
It's not easy.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
So it's not easy, so you would know, like even
getting guessed also like you have to figure it out,
you know, the scheduling. So when it comes to Danae
and I, Danna is so busy right now on the road, right,
she's a choreographer.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
She's on a road with Megan A. Stallins. She's on
a road.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Oh forget but you so many people be honestly, she's
been on the road with anybody tie data side over
the So she's so busy right now, she's actually busier
than I am. So that's causing a little delay on
the season.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
You know, it's crazy that you bring that up because
I had a podcast in the past. It was called
Life and Spanguish and we had it for years and
Big shadowt Carolina Bermudez, she was my co host. I
love her dearly, but our schedules just couldn't aligned.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So then you have to go your separate ways or something.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
She started doing Access Hollywood and then she was in
California and I was in New York, and you know,
it just didn't work out.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
You try the virtual because the NA and I try
the virtual too, really quickly to set it up. But
it's just our schedules just on online. So now we're
trying to where we think can either go our separate
ways or find ways to still film or just kind
of like I move on with at this big age.
And then when she gets back, she has he always
has to see. I love that we're trying to We're
trying to figure out what to do now. So that's
(09:16):
why we're taking a break, just to see what works.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Now Reality TV. Do you regret doing Reality?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
No, Okay, I it felt like so much and so
chaotic and so exposing as far as like you, your relationships,
your therapy. Should I need a therapy after watching it?
Talk to me. Do you feel like it was pivotal
in your stardom?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Absolutely? I think we came at the right time. This
was before reality was reality again. We were like, really,
you know, the pioneers of.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I remember, I remember you the YouTube, and I remember
enjoying it so much, and I remember enjoying you.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Thank you. I don't re regret it. I'll do it
all over again.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
It definitely set a platform for me to do whatever
I wanted with it at the time. It happened really
fast too, so it's say there were some several mistakes
that were made, but I don't regret it, and I'll
do it again.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
And shit, I need a therapy in it after it.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
But it was it's also therapeutic watching it, so I
can watch myself.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
That's what I was gonna ask you. You watch yourself
back cloud.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Okay, I don't have a choice.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Something does not trigger you Like Netflix the other day
and I was like, dang, I signed a wrong contract
because here I am again and nobody's playing me. But
I'm thankful because now the younger generation could see where
I come from, you know what I mean, Because everything's
just moving so fast and I'm a little older and
half of these girls coming out or retain years somebody
else comes out and they're able to see where I
(10:49):
come from.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Who I like.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I walked into so Far the other day and the
girl who's been taking care of me, who's about ten
years younger, was like she freaked out, and I was
a girl, I've been coming here once a week, what's up?
And she's like, I'm watching on aflicks. I didn't know,
and I'm like what she knew? I was famous, but
she didn't really know kind of why.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Now, like I need you to talk about this and
I'm like wow, and I'm able to watch it and
cry with myself Sometimes. Are there some instances that you're like,
why did I do that?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
All of my exes.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Now now joking, why did I do any of it?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Like do you see yourself and you're like wow to
hear you wow, Like.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
No, I said, wow, why didn't I do other things?
She said that wasn't a n.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
No, I really at the time, it was my real life.
There was no script for me. They do script the
madness because they have to put us in the same room.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So it was real.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
It was happening in real time. So I was exhausted
after every scene. I remember that I would fall asleep
with makeup and lashes, and you know, for us that's
a bad thing because of our skin. They It was
so draining because I was dealing with emotion because it's
the realness.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Like he was on drugs. I was blasting my life.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
My grandmother didn't know I was on TV, and she
was gonna see that I'm going through all.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
It was just a lot. You get hit anybody, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
But the.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
But here's the thing about that.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I feel like the reason why I'm still around is
because I'm relatable and because I really like bared my
soul and women could it was it was, it was authentic.
It was I wasn't pretending to do anything. If I
drove whatever car I did, if I waited at the table,
I was waiting on table on TV. Like, I wasn't
trying to do nothing but be myself. So I think
it all worked out.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Relatability and that's what it's all about. And you weren't
pushing this narrative perfection. Yes you were attractive, Yes, men
loved you, they idolized you, but at the end of
the day, you were just like me very much. Now,
that's one thing you You've always been very transparent, very relatable.
Do you feel like, you know, when it comes to
(12:54):
like younger women, you've played a pivotal role and kind
of like leading like, hey, you don't need to be perfect.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I you know, I would hope, so I would hope that.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I think, well, for the most part, I've run into
a number of women that are like in the scene
now and they're a little older, and I'm older than
they are, and they when they see me, they like
they do a pay homage. They're like thank you, like
bad bitch, like because of you, Like you know what
I mean, you're shit.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah. Yeah, So I have had.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Those moments that are pretty dope when I see the
the you know, the the women now and and just
even even when I did the red carpet for like
for GQ, when I did the red carpet for the
sps that not the gqsp's like the young men were
like coming in that the rookies.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And they're like they were walking in with their mom.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
They're like, mom, mom, look at to Hie because they
remember they don't I'm older than they are, but they
know that mom is a fan, you know what I mean.
So I think that women all over the world is
just appreciated my story.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And I want to take a moment and thank you.
You know you're super transparent about things that I keep
a secret right age, Wait, I would never I was
watching you on Tameron Hole and you were just I know,
one hundred and seventy three now though, oh yes, my
little bully by and goes like this.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I'm like, oh, oh I'm overweight, honey.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
And I was watching and I was like, I said,
my sister would rather probably get shot right now than
say how much you would.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
That's how we were raised, and.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It is it's a Latina think. It's like, you know,
we don't take just a secret ages. And you're very,
very transparent about your age because I'm still backing he's
young exactly cause I'm still bad than a thirty year old.
So I don't care about putting my age out there.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I just do whatever I'm comfortable doing, say whatever. I'm
God like.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I just I'm really really big on when I wake
up in the morning, how do I feel about me?
And if I could look in the mirror and love me,
that's all that matters, you know what I mean. At
the end of the days, those in mind don't matter,
doesn't matter, don't mind. And that's what I have to
keep in mind. And you know, I'm in a world
where everybody loves you. You walk in and the crowds
are like screaming and people want to pick pictures, But
(14:54):
then you have to sit back and be like they
if they don't like me tomorrow, am I going to
be okay with that?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Because do they really really know me? You know what
I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And they don't Right now? What are some some of
the biggest misconceptions about you? What have you seen that
you're like that is so far from the truth.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
A lot of things people I've dated, I'm not subscribing
to all those guys they try, They've been.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Trying to bodies.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Bodies.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Who's who's the most shocking one that you were like,
what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
I didn't go to a baby oil party.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I didn't, but I had been around, like I've been
around them, so you ain't participate.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
No, No, I didn't date Diddy, but they said at one
point I did. They said I dated friends. They said
I did a fifty. They said I dated anybody that
was around.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Did you date Drake?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I did? Actually, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
That's a good one. I'm glad you didn't say no
the culture if you have to do it for the girl.
Not yet.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
No, they think they catch me in dr I'm confessing
to that, like fifteen year later. Does it matter?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Said that you could rewind your whoism you can't erase?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That was Oh Drea Dre Dreda said that you could
like rewind your wholeness.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So that was like fifteen years ago. Does that count?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
But no, I I was caught swimming with the dolphins
one time.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I don't know, but you know they're mad at it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I would have swum with the dolphins with Drake too,
Do you know what I'm saying exactly?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
So just things people have dated, they've said, my ass
isn't real half the time. It's not even what they
say is what they're willing to listen to. Like I
could say I'm a college graduate, I could say I
did these these.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Things for the community, but they don't care.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
They care about me being outlanded, scandalous, scandalous. You know,
people just love insanity. So it's sometimes it's not what
people say, it's what they're willing to, like pay attention.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
To people like scandal people.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
You don't be the smartest individual. They don't want smarts.
They want me to walk up and smack somebody.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
They're like philanthrops.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, they was like, yeah, that gay.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
You know, everybody will sign up. Everybody will sign up.
How are you with social media? How much do you share?
And are you on every day?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
No, who I am on every day? I'm not gonna
be I'm not gonna front. But have I taken a
step back for my mental health?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Why it was affecting you.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
It affects everybody.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
If you're too anything you do too much is way
too much, it's gonna affect you. I think that I'm
not as interested as I was before, and I'm at
a space where I'm trying to figure out what's next
for me. It's transition, it's redirecting, it's fulfilling. Like I'm
not so worried about what you guys think of me,
but more about what I think about myself.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
So I've had to take a seat back.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Just for the sake of of moving with intention instead
of attention.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
So important, And where is your heart pulling you?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Like?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
What are you thinking? What do you want to do?
What would make you so happy to do every single day?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I don't know, because I come from a space where
if I'm not making money, I'm not in I know
that's not correct. You know.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
I come from a place where it's survival.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Like so even when I've had or have everything I
could ever want, I'm still thinking I need to keep
working because I don't want to go back.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
So that brings me into therapy.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And that's the scarcity mentality.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
That because that's where that's where I come from.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
That's where I come from too. You know what I'm saying.
I was born Harlem Hospital, raised one hundred and fifty first, Like,
I know what it is. You know your parents experienced poverty.
You're a child of immigrants, and you.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Have all these responsibilities now because I have people that
I have to take care of, like who you know
you have to take care of?
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You know, your parents' birth you and they feel like.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
But Dominican parents are good for that.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
But even as as a as a human being, you
want to take care of those that you love, you
know what I mean. So I'm at a space where
I am not who I.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Used to be.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
But I don't know who I'm becoming. I just know
I'm not the old to hear anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You're like in a waiting area.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, I'm like in a growth area and like things
that used to make me happy and the things I
used to enjoy doing I no longer enjoy.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Like what what fulfilled you before? That doesn't fulfill you anymore.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I used to be super. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
I'm becoming like a prude and ship like I want
to get married and stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Now, are you ready for your soft girl era?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I'm ready for my soft girl era. I don't want
to like, I don't want to like flip a table.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
And you want to struggle like yeah hard?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
No?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
No, I mean I like working. It's it's the only
thing I know. I think, and I think when I'm
not productive, it sends me into a little messes with you.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, it messes with me.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And I'm starting to be okay with just sitting still, yeah,
breathing and saying Yo, it's just like a swell that there,
you know what I mean, like taking my time to
appreciate the little things, to stop and smell the roses,
to where before because I was just so afraid to
like lose and when is this gonna stop? And all
these all the things that I was like that my
parents are still just my my It's like the concrete
(19:54):
jungle instilled in me. Now I'm sitting back saying I've come.
I didn't come as far to come this far. God
always has me. Oh so I but it's hard when
you're like the oldest of fourteen, you're a woman, your
father's been deported, You've had to fight your whole life.
So now I'm just like, oh, I'm so cute to fight, Like,
let me let me think about this and deal with
(20:16):
less emotion and more with facts and from the heart.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
You've lived in survival mode my whole life. That's tiring.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I know I'm exhausted, but now I'm learning to take
a deep breath and remember that it's not about yesterday,
tomorrow is about right now and where I am.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Amen. Yeah, I feel like that's a lot of us, Yeah,
a lot of us. You know, we don't want to
lose what we have. Yeah, it's like what's next? Been there,
done that. There is a lot of pressure. You don't
want to disappear.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
And then on top of that, you're only as good
as the last thing you did, so you have to
always continue to transition.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Amen. Amen, Amen. I just got like news. It was like, oh,
you're number one for the month. This is at work
at I heard my corporate side they were like, oh,
cause you're number one for the year. And I'm like,
I have to do this again.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
See, but you didn't even take your time to enjoy it,
enjoy what.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I was like, I gotta keep this right.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
No thinking about it, not to keep this up. You know,
you know what?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
No see because yes, I understand where you're coming from,
but I want you to understand how important it is
to live in the moment and know that with God's grace,
like the sun never settles on, like God's mercy, Like
it's all God's timing. So you'll be fine if you
learn to just be grateful and next thing, you know,
next year, it comes by. As long as you're alive,
(21:29):
that's what it matters.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
What title? What? What does it really matter? Think about it.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
So I've had to sit back and think about these
things and be like, all right, so I did this, this, this, this,
I've done that.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Why am I so worried? How about I can go.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Back to the fifteen years I've been on a road
without a hit song because I wasn't even rapping, but
I was always booked, and I don't remember a lot
of things.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Why though, Because I was so busy just running on.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
A bag, you ain't take a moment to really like.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Now though, I sit and I'm like, doyak say, I'm
gonna look at it. I'm embraced it. I'm gonna send
it to my mom, and I'm really gonna appreciate that
time I have right now because I don't know about
tomorrow and I don't care about yesterday.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
And you know, it's like every time you turn around,
somebody's gone and you're like, ship.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
If I get another RP on that social media same,
I'm over taking vite see that though they can I'm.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Not ready working out. Yeah, that's a priority for you
on your social media?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Has it always been a priority or is it now
more than ever? No?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I think I was supposed to be a cop, so
you know.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I was always in training and then there were times
when I fell off the wagon because I could drink
like a fish.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Did you take the NYP detest?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I did twice and I passed it. At the time.
You can only take it for real. I could walk
in the beat.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I know, girl, no, we won't be able to get
anything done. But hey, yeah, I was a criminal justice
major and I wanted to be NYPD and eventually I
wanted to be FBI.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
And me too, but my father was a criminal, so
it was over.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
For She's like, no, Web said, I did the background
to things for real, right right exactly, But that's great.
So you've always kind of like been into fitness working out.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yes, and I did it. And at first I did
it for the look. I'd be like the nineteen year
old in the living room doing crunches and my mom
was like, though, I'm like the lane quarters, you're always
like working out, And then it was a thing for
I was I was. Then I did covers and all
the stuff that I've done in the game magazine, so
that was important.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yes, So I needed to be in shape.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
So you prioritize. So it's not like you were just
perfect existing. You prioritized your workout and your body.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I had to.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
But we didn't have social media, so we didn't know.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
We just witter. We have my space.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
We just saw you looking good YouTube.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I was bouncing off trampolines.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Before they said it was I remember the trampoline, but
I didn't remember that it was for a workout purpose. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, I was always on that.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
And like dry brushing, I was always I always had
a big ass and it was and always had.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Sweet so so I used to have to always be
in Cynthia. And then it started that way and then
I got hurt. I think in twenty I want to
say fifteen maybe, and I couldn't work out. And then
I realized, you know, sometimes God has to shake you
and show you that you can do certain things, and
that's when you really want it. I realized that I
needed to work out. It wasn't more about what I
look like. It was more from my mental health. Like
(24:18):
it's my outlet. You missed it, It's my happy place.
I needed to be able to conquer the following week
of my entrepreneurs I love this love.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
You know, it keeps me going. It's where I release.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
So the gym is something that I do now, not
only to look good, so I wear gray so you
can see less of my cottage cheese.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Hey, those great types are not forgiving. I don't even
own a pair.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Right or white? Honey.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I would not buy anything white to hear that's going
to go on my bottom?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Now you should.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
You just got to double. You have to find something
with double the texture. Naked Wardrobe is good for that.
They have a lot of colors and they have double
layers for the.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Seatey lighte honey, because if I wear another pair of
black pants to do this podcast.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Well, I love my black. But then I was a bartender,
so I feel safe in it.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Where was your favorite spot to bart in at?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Everywhere there was money?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Who gave you the most amount of money? Like what borrow?
What's the bronx?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Where right now?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
With bbq's is It was used to call Jimmy's Bronx,
and it was called Sofas, and it was called I
don't remember x Bar, x Bar, my God, my Wednesdays.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Wednesdays went Tahiri at x Bar.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
It was a few of us.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
I used to call it the dream Team before they
took the name before after I retired, But I made
so much money, but then I.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Used the most you ever made in one night. I'm
not gonna I'm not gonna want to get my number
at Bernice It okay, okay, well yeah, we don't want
that problem the irs.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
But I will say this. I worked.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
I had this young and yank like. I was always
been a person who needed change. So I would work
at a restaurant during the day, okay, brunch. Then I
would leave the restaurant and go to strip club. They
were nice when I would go to strip club to
go to legal poker spot, so and I think, and
then I partied too at the same time, and then
I grassed.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I was just doing a lot.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I was always very busy, and I mean so much money.
And I was so good at that. What for you
so good at that?
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Ship? Ever said sometimes?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
So eventually I owned the club, part owned the club
in Harlem that went to ship.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I went to that. I remember it was were gonna
go this is to Hear's.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
New everybody pulled it was no, it was well, it
used to be body and then he became sweet one
thirty five.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Remember they were like this Hearing club we got Yeah,
I didn't even know you were out.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
And I remember twenty fourteen, I put strip clubs on
a strip poles on a Tuesday. I had them pull
them up and pull them off. I have people going
from a little parts of the world. I had Didny
one time outside and busting eghbor. It was like a
really big thing at the time, and then it was
a ship because I wasn't ready to sit there and
cash businesses.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
You have to be there, but.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
You know what I mean, it was just in and out,
and I was still traveling hard. I don't think I
was ready to do a lot of the things that
God gave me, you know, the opportunity to do. At
the time, I was busy, still traveling and working and
TV and posting on Instagram, posting.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Listen, I feel tired right now. Just listen to everything,
you know. Yeah, yeah, Now, when I was my research
on you, I saw that you froze your eggs. Yes,
you did a whole interview with Ebony about you know, fertility.
How did you decide this and when did you decide this?
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Well, unfortunately, what I'm gonna say to the youth will yeah,
you be gave of what you say to the universe.
I think early on in my twenties, I used to
be like, I'm gonna freeze my eggs. Don't know why
because I had mannobials, but I'm going to freeze my eggs.
And eventually there were times in my late thirties where
I'd be doing something expensive and be like, I gotta
(27:30):
freeze my eggs. Why I don't know, because I was
having sex right. And then eventually, at forty something, I
think it was during the pandemic, I don't know what
came over me and I called my sister and I said, Hey,
I want to freeze my eggs and she was like great.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
My sister works for NYU.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
She nice, really up there in that food chain, and
she was like, oh great, let's let's talk about the
money come in and did it during the pandemic. I
just had to. My clock was ticking, and I feel
like my clock is still ticking. And this has been
by choice, and because in the blinket of a night
with people don't realize is that life happens. And I
remember being on a couch with a freaking dress on.
(28:09):
He's in PONTI that still.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Fits, by the way, and here we are forty I'm like,
and I haven't had kids, And you're like, I signed
act because my mom scared the ship out of us
when we were kids. Okay, oh that was number one
movie to go ahead?
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Really yeah, so it was three girls, so she really
scared the ship out of us.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
A mind on their sid and I got we were
afraid to.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
So I lost my virginity. I think at eighteen and
a half. I was senior in high school. You want
to but at the time everybody was working at twelve.
My sister alsto at twenty one.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
But you know what, you're right because I remember being
in high school and people having babies.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yes, and my little sister lost it like in her
late seventh seventeen eighteen.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
So my mom did well because your mom. But you
know I can.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Welfare. It was trauma.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, she really scared the ship out of us. Well,
I mean, I'm not mad at her now, No, I'm
not mad at but then now she's looking at me
like that's all I brother get that's a.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
And I'd be like, oh my mom has said that,
not to me but to my sister.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yeah, she's like and I'm like, and I'm like, but no.
Now everybody's like for Thanksgiving I'm the oldest again, and
my sister had a baby, and my other sister you know,
I'm hoping any day now, and I walk in and
I don't have to explain. I just look atverybody, like,
(29:44):
hold on, yeah, I frozed my eggs in black period
your Yeah, I may not use it, might just get
might just do it the conventional way.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Do you feel like you were ever with your person personally? No,
your person never came.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
I've had great people, had great experiences. I've never had
a great man. And I'm gonna admit till two years ago,
I thought I was a fucking prototype girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I was like the best.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
But I think that my history with men and where
I come from, my mommy and daddy issues, I wasn't
the perfect partner. So I believe that not only I
can't just solely blame a person because it takes two.
But for a while I was like, yo, what it's
not me, it's the type of man I choose. And
then I realized, oh, not only are you choosing or
they're choosing you, or you know, you're so busy wanting
(30:48):
to be loved that you'll fucking take whatever. You know
what I mean? And so although they come in this
beautiful costume of all the you know, the titles and
the money and lavish life and stuff like I isn't
healthy enough to like, I don't think none of my
relationship would have succeeded. And I had to do with
a lot of me too. So two years ago I
woke up and I was like, I have work to do.
I have to undo everything that I've been through, and
(31:10):
I have to do undo everything that I come from.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I have to relearn. I have to unlearn to relearn.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
And that's I'm in the process of that now, which
is why my career is also.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Like and how are you doing that therapy? Okay, self love?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Because you can't love if you don't love you, and
if you don't know what love is or how to
love you, how are you how you're going to choose
all the wrong people around you because you don't really
know what love is and it starts with you.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
At what moment did you have the balls to be like,
I'm part of the problem.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Ah wow, I can never What I learned was there's
an arrival date for every human being, like you arrive,
like you wake up and you have these aha moments
I don't know where you're like, ah, you start seeing
things different, like even like I remember seeing leaves fall
in a fall.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I looked at it and it just fell slow.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
But I was driving and it was just like at
a moment, I'm like, I'm arriving, like all of a sudden,
things are clicking. There is no time and space. Everybody
arrives different. I will say that half of me feels
like why did it take me so long? But then
I have to remember that with his time, like everybody
goes through their own journey. Two years ago, I went
(32:17):
through a breakup with a guy.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Did we know who he was?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Or maybe I posted him? Because you know I'm a bird.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
I'll be like, okay, but no, I love love and
I think I deserve it and I want it so
bad and I'm like I want the family, and God,
didn't you know we see here we are? So I
started dating this person when they didn't even take serious.
I knew he wasn't told enough for the ride. Not
to say that I think I'm the ship, but you know,
you look at a person You're like, I don't think
you can handle all this.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Do you feel like targeted in a way because of
who you are sometimes like he just wants to date
me because I'm too.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Harry sometimes, but then I'm with the ships, like, come on,
I would want to date me too, Let's go, let's
build this brand, Like I want to date you too,
because you got something that you know what I mean,
it's all you know.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
This will be trends with love. But I dated him.
I didn't think that I dated him, And I.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Was just in a space where I wanted to try
something different because all the men that I've tried were
all in the same you know, they they stood me
in the same space. But that's because we understand each other.
We understand schedules. You know, they're not there, it's just different.
So I decided to try somebody with a job, with
a fucking with a seven to three.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh like okay, like a normal regular guy. Yeah, who
wasn't even driving out a CEO. I'm over here, get out,
get out you. She's like, listen, get in, get in.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
How are the kids? Theyated?
Speaker 3 (33:35):
You're a teacher, a math teacher. The math was a
math though, but he was.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
A math teacher.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
So I so I started seeing someone who was really cool,
and then I realized that you know, just because a
person as cool as a friend, he might not be
a great boyfriend and vice versa. And then I realized
that he taught me so much about me and and
what I became in that relationship, what I never wanted
to be. And I took my time. I sobered up.
There was no alcohol. I started reading the word. I
took my time with me after that breakup. I effert
(34:00):
through it, and not because I missed him, but because
I was growing in something like he just kind of
opened my eyes to what I don't want to do again,
and it forced me to look back. And so I
didn't drink. I don't smoke like that's so I didn't drink.
I started to take care of my home. I'm always
on the road, so I hire the organizer, I have
the chef. I don't really you know what I mean, Like,
(34:21):
I hired people to do whatever it is that I
don't do my own makeup. I don't really care to
do my own hair. So I always have, you know, people,
a team that handle all of my stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Even my personal stuff.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
And I took my time to do it myself this time,
and I started to work from the inside out instead
of just always just running and looking good and like
just oh he broke my heart, keep it moving next,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
So you took time time just like dissect what happened.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
So I did forty two days of eating, cooking my
own food, reading, yes straight, going to church, sitting with self,
cleaning my closets.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Sorry you said, sitting with Sylph.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Oh no, my god, that's my brother, my brother, none
of seeing it was sitting withself.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I'm reflecting.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
It was the scariest thing ever, because I believe that
the world I come from, or like just the industry,
we move fast and we don't want to be with self.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
That's why we run so much, like we don't got
time to think on to the next.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
No liquor, sitting yourself looking in the mirror every fucking day,
like just and and and the scarcity of people around me,
and like not going to club and no noise and
it's just you and and I remember being afraid because
I didn't know who the fuck I was.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I'm like, am I gonna like me? And what did
you why?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I have none of these none of these things worked.
What did I learn about you?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I'm a fucking popping.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
I looked in the mirror, I was like, I loved
myself beautiful I had.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, I was just like it was.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
It was scary. And then I remember day seven. I
was like, this, ain't that bad. I don't think I
want to go back to the old me. And that's
where growth begun. And now I swear I forgave myself
everything I've done and did and everything that happened in
that relationship, and my discernment got better. I started to
treat myself better and make different decisions.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's amazing. I love how you have like a point,
like a specific point, like this is when this because
I'm paying attention now you mean intentional.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I'm paying attention, and I think that I didn't. I don't.
I don't think I knew.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
I don't think even even as even back then, I'm like,
I'm smart, I'm smarter than this. How did I wind
up here? And then I look back and I'm like,
just wasn't your time? And you thought you knew better?
You know, we're young, twenties and thirties. You're like, oh,
you know, I think I'm at a space where even
when I'm hurting, I'm like, okay, you're hurting.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Take a pause. What did you learn though? How do
we get here?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
You're using these experiences differently Finally now we're like, yeah, listen,
we got to move completely different. Now what are you
focusing on right now? Is it your acting?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Well? A little bit of everything I am on I do.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
I am want to show call Factor's at English hilarious.
Shout out to Yvonne and ms By and Tommy. It's
about twenty something of us on set is an actual factor.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
I've seen some clips and I'm like, this is a
lot of people.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
I play HR so I have clothes on in classes.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
I love that, you know, still a badass because you listen.
One thing that people got yeah, it's yeah. Like when
I see people like so naked, I'm like, if you
got titties, I could tell you got I can tell you.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
But you know what it is is that you get
once you're like that, once you put you on that box,
those are the those are the those are the roles
that they give you. Like I get calls about roles
all day where I'm the stripper or the crazy girlfriends
and you're like and I'm like, no, I want to
be the lawyer. I want to be the realtor. I
want to be you know what I mean, the professional.
I want to be the HR. So then you know,
I pull all the punches and so it's like it's
testing me and it's showing people a different side of me.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
So I enjoy that show. A lot of talented people
on set.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Then we have at this big age pod, which is
about you know, women being women talking about what we
used to do to war we're doing now at you know,
and she's the name's thirty, I'm forty something, forty five.
So we talk about just transitioning and the things you
used to do, and we make it fun because for
some reason, for women in the game, the older you get,
it's like it's like no, the guy is so listen,
(38:15):
don't even get but I know it's like you're fucking gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
You look so girl I saw tell me like ten
years ago. She's like hit.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Because we were probably like drinking. Now is when, and
we got the money now now we're can afford skin
doin right. Yes, but there is a stigma attached to
like women. It's like I feel like after thirty five,
like women start shining away from like saying their age
or like posting anything that we can age them.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
I'm telling I'm still backing them. The older I get
my d MS, I feel like, yo, you got mother issues?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Bro, Like, what's up?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Who got who? Look like?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
What I need that? I thought, you?
Speaker 2 (38:59):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (38:59):
A man?
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Help us? Here? No? No?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
The place? I got one? I got one fortnight, I thought, yeah,
I got one.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Baby streaming?
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, what's snatch?
Speaker 2 (39:11):
You walk into my house, You'll be like, oh, what's
the youngest you would date?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
The youngest i've dated?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Know that you would date?
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Oh, I don't really I don't really want to be
in my twenties. But I'm not gonna lie and tell
you that I didn't go on a date with a
twenty eight year old. Okay, And I think quarantine Babe
was like in his late twenties and his mom was
like three years older than me, and I was very disturbing.
But she's still my people. She calls me, She's like
to here it can me my son fucked up on you.
I'm like, this is weird, but I love you too.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
You know, sometimes when you enter your third and your forties,
people like, why date a twenty year old? You know,
I don't I don't want a thirty year in my twenties.
But I mean I I do give young energy and
I definitely do and I feel like you're this is
your prime. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
No, I attract the younger guy. But I last guy
was dating he was in his mid forties, and I
appreciated that too.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
The by eleven we have to Margarita and we were like, let's.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Go to you want to you want to lay down?
Speaker 1 (40:02):
I was like, what can look at? You wanna let's
watch the game at home? You want to go to
the bar?
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Now, baby, let's just watch it here? Good bit because
I cooked real quick but cool, don't know not here?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
What is your goal to get?
Speaker 1 (40:22):
A'll serve you a nice plate?
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Look?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
And no, but whatever he likes. If I'm into you,
I'm gonna figure whatever it is you. I'm that girl.
I'm like a little waitress at heart, like because I
did it for I took care of people for such
a long time. That's who I am at home. So
if you say, oh, because I like sprite, you walk
in and there sprite spring, not let's be in your.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
With my with my wedding dress on.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
You love love, I love love, love is everything. I
believe that a person who loves himself a person who's
happy to treat people with care. When you see people
beat you crazy, I started to not take it personal
because it's not about me. I walk in with the
good intention. It's about themselves.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
It's about them.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
And I said that the sporting during a conversation where
someone complained, They said, that person just treats me so bad.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I said, that person is miserable.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
What do you expect from them? Exactly? And it put
everything into perspective to the recipient.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
So that has a lot to do And I've learned
that now in dealing with you know, the fact that
you know I'm still dating the fact is like, okay,
you watch how he treats people, and then you know,
and then you realize, oh, oh you treat and then
it becomes a thing and you're like, oh no, that
has a lot.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
To do with you, not me. I love.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
I love where you're at right now, we too, who know, listen,
it's beautiful and we've watched your life. I can say
that like I feel like I've watched you what you've
been in the public eye, what like twenty ten, So
what I say, so this is what good fifteen years,
Lord Jesus is afar and you know, and you've made
it through a lot. Yeah, and we're here, we're talking,
(41:56):
and you know, I love a lot of things that
you said. You know, you've made peace with yourself, you
made peace with your past, You've found God. You're super
accepting of not just you know who you are, but
your age, your weight. Like you're in a good, good space.
Whatever man you get with right now is probably gonna
get the best version of to hear it safe to say.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah, and it's a it's a no going it's an
it's a never ending job.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Because it takes work every day to wake up and
choose happy person. Yeah, and no things happen and things
and and things get in the way. And it's not
about what they the balls at the curve, balls they throw.
It's about what you do once you you know what
I mean, you you throw that shit right back. So
it's it's do or die, and I'm not gonna die.
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I'm a team doer. So every day it's a choice
to say, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
What, shit is rough, but we're gonna, you know, enjoy
the good and the bad that comes with life.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
It's just life.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
It's a dance and let's live it. What what's one
thing that you want to do that You're like, I
cannot leave this earth without going here or doing this
or experiencing that.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Wow. I wish I would have hit me with that
in the email, because I would have had to funk
that that.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
That's like a question I needed to teach. She No,
I think having a kid I want to experience.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I saw that you said life is not completely I
was put.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
On earth to have babies, and I didn't have babies.
So I think that by now it would probably be
one or two twins if I choose to use these eggs.
If I don't get pregnant by the neighbor tomorrow, how
fine is the neighbor? My neighbor's fine? But no, they
didn't work. Never date the neighbor. Now I gotta run
to take out the garbs because I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
See all the time. Don't sit, you eat. But I
thought that God put me in a perfect place. I
was like, how you're gonna put me right here? Well
I could see him, you can see me anyway.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
No.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Seriously speaking, though, I think that I've been pretty blessed.
I've gone everywhere I want to go. I'm still going.
I just came back for Brazil for no reason. In
terms of money, it's always to be made, whether there
is or there's not. Who gives a fuck, it's you
gotta you gotta like think in abundance. And I've been
really blessed to get what I want, when I want to,
and how I want it. I'm not done. But the
(44:06):
one thing I can't leave Earth without is having a child.
One I want to experience the belly. I want to
get stretch marks, but not really. I want to get
my titties to bother me. And I want to be
able to push. Although I told my doctor told me
not to push, that I'm gonna have a sea section
because I'm narrow. I don't even he said no, she said,
you won't even dilate. So I'm already prepping for the
(44:27):
fact that I have to have this one little baby
on earth that reminds me so much of me for
no reason. I want to experience that love that is
never ending and very traumatic.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
I heard is very much. You won't My mommy is like,
you won't even be able to explain this love. I
want that.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
That's beautiful, and I'm glad that your mom, you know,
is with it and tells you, you know, what you
want to do is something.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
She's like, just do it alone. And I was like,
you didn't do it alone.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
She was like, yes, I did. Your dad was just there.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
And I know it's going to happen for you and
we're going to watch it on.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Fo baby shower. Come on, Barbary me, let's go. You
see the man with the baby shop.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
I mean he might not well if I have my
own baby by myself, I'm not gonna put the baby
the burbery button down.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Nah, we don't need no burbery.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
He had the good the ghetto. Everybody has one on
social media.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Nah that that's so dope. But I want to thank
you so much, you know, for sitting down with me today,
allowing me to get to know you on a personal level,
and you know, your transparency in this community, and you know,
leading for us Latinas after Latinas, you know, the ones
that you know struggle with hiding our age, hiding our weight.
You know, I'm part of the community. Thanks for showing
(45:35):
us that. It's thanks for showing us you know that
it's it's okay. Be proud and put it out there.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Just live, man, life is too short. Just live. Who cares,
nobody cares.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Come again having me?
Speaker 1 (45:50):
That was good. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Graciers. Come Again is a production of Honey German Productions
in partnership with Ihearts microen through the podcast network
Popular Podcasts
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!