July 29, 2024 • 43 mins
Join us as we dive into a thoughtful discussion inspired by this question: How does sports betting align with Christian values? In this video, I’ll unpack the complexities of gambling within the context of faith, examining whether it's considered a sin and how we can approach this topic with a balanced perspective. Join me as I answer this question and more on today’s podcast episode!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey, what's up everybody, Thanks for being here. If you
have a question for me on this podcast, what I
do is I answer them. It could be about any subject.
Uh there's They've really been all over the place, and
so to email me. Send a message, send your question,
hopefully about the about a phone's length to podcasts at
grangersmith dot com. I'll get to those emails, we'll put
(00:32):
them in the queue, and we'll answer them on here.
I don't always have the right answers, and I don't
have a bunch of notes sitting in front of me.
But what I what I have learned of the of
the last several years of doing this. My goal really
is to get you, mister questioner, missus questioner, is to
(00:53):
get you thinking so that you could answer your own questions. Really,
I guess I guess I should say that way. My
goal is not to have a podcast that we go
for twenty years and just try to exhaust every single
possible question that I could possibly answer. Really, the goal
is if you listen consistently, I hope you do. My
(01:15):
goal is that you go. I'm starting to see how
Granger gets his answers from I like his answers. Maybe
you don't like them all. Surely you don't like all
my answers. That would be impossible. We all have different taste.
But hey, I like a lot of the way Granger
answers questions, and I'm starting to see how he gets
his answers so that I could I could start answering
(01:39):
my own questions in that same way. So it's really
more of of learning how to think, or learning how
to think through a question. There's really even of these
questions I always get to are very specific. There's only
there's only seven to ten actual questions, and everything else
is just caught in the details of it. Right, So
(02:02):
let's get to the first one comes from Madison again.
She emailed podcast at grangersmith dot com. And I'm kicking
off with Madison's question here because this is what I'm
going to kind of base this little first break on.
I'll show you what I mean. She asked us, Hey, Granger,
it maybe that I can't recall from reading my Bible,
(02:22):
or that it isn't something that is within the Bible
at all, But how does sports betting align with the
Christian value system? I have friends within my community church
that partake in sports betting, and more than anything, this
is just a general thought. Is gambling a sin? That's
your question? God Bless Madison. So yeah, her question is basically,
(02:47):
is gambling a sin? It's in the context of sports betting,
which I don't think there's an argument there that every
kind of betting, every kind of betting that there is
is would be under the umbrella of gambling. So you
don't have to be in a casino pulling a slot
machine lever for it to be called gambling. You don't
have to be in a back alley playing poker in
(03:11):
some kind of shambly bar for it to be considered gambling.
It could be just like, oh, and I should say
this too, It doesn't have to be illegal. In fact,
it would be weird to only consider the sin part
of gambling if it is a sin. We'll get to
that if it's illegal or not, Because anything that's illegal
(03:35):
would be considered a sin at some level, because you
would be going against the authority at some level. We
think that's a different question. Maybe someone else could ask
that specifically and we could dive into that, But specifically,
what I want talking about is legal gambling. Is that
a sin? And that's basically what Madison's asking. She says,
(03:57):
there are people in her church that do it, so
let's think about it. I think we should think about
it in some ways, like alcohol. You know, it's a
substance that you could certainly abuse. It's a substance that is,
if used in the right way, legal, and yet in
(04:21):
so many other ways it could be devastating to a
life with gambling. I first, I think, I think my
first thought I would go to considering it's legal, and
can consider this too. Maybe never mind, let me start here,
as you could see, I make this up as I go. Y'all,
let's let's let's start with make sure Madison that you
(04:47):
understand that as we judge those Hey look, look, the
Bible doesn't say don't judge period. In the story. The
Bible says, be careful with your judging, because you'll be
judged according to the same measure. So there are definitely
some things that we should judge with with our brothers
and sisters, we should we should judge them in it like,
(05:09):
don't don't misunderstand that we don't judge. We just like
turn a blind eye to everything. We have no opinion.
We're just like neutral robots. And we don't care what
other people do around this. Don't judge. I see that
sometimes on social media it's like, hey, don't judge. Well,
that's not what the Bible says, that's not what Jesus says.
It's it's it's the idea of don't don't judge unless
(05:30):
you are willing to be judged according to the same
measure and a lot of the same measures we want
to be judged by. Okay, so let's start there and say,
let's be sure that you're you're you're you're not worried
about the speck in your brother's eye, and you've got
a log in your own eye. Let's make sure we're
removing the log in our own eye. It is or Jesus,
(05:51):
this is Jesus's idea that make sure when we're looking
at other people, like, hey, those guys are those guys
are gambling, and then you're going home and you're having
it too many glasses of wine at home. You know, Hey,
those guys are gambling. What's wrong with those guys? As
we're popping too many pain pills, Hey, those guys are gambling.
(06:11):
As we're addicted to social media, cannot get our heads
out of our screen. We're so addicted to it. Hey,
those guys are gambling, and the list goes on and on.
Make sure first before we say anything, let's make sure
we remove the log from our own eye before we
look to anyone else. Okay, now, let's talk about that.
(06:32):
There's also this aspect that I don't think there's anything
wrong with someone in an innocent way saying, look, I
legitimately like to go and bet on a sports team.
It's legal, and I use twenty bucks. I like to say, hey,
I like to bet on the super Bowl every year
(06:54):
as a tradition. Hypothetically, there's a Super Bowl tradition I
have in my family. I like to put twenty bucks
on the team from the west of the Mississippi. I
don't know. I don't know why you would do it.
I personally don't gamble at all, But I'm saying, let's
think about the guy that goes. I like to put
(07:16):
twenty dollars. It's a tradition I do every year on
the Super Bowl, and there's no harm in it. I
budget twenty bucks. You know, it's not like going to
break the bank or anything. It's legal. I do it
in a legal way. I do it in a setting
of camaraderie. People around me, we do it together. Hey,
nothing wrong with that, But let's dive into why it
(07:39):
could be wrong if taken the wrong way, if seen
the wrong way in the wrong setting. First of all,
gambling in so many ways has an underlying issue of
a love of money or greed. Right. The Bible speaks
(08:00):
thoroughly about this. Second, our first Timothy is six ' ten.
The love of money is the root of all kinds
of evil. Some people eager for money have wandered from
the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs or many pangs.
That's tough, right, and we know this. Some people eager
for money have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves
(08:21):
with many griefs. The Bible says that Paul speaking of
Timothy here in his letter, he's writing a Timothy. But
I don't think we have to go. I don't know, Paul,
I don't know if I agree with that. All of us,
non believers, believers, all of us go. Yeah, I see that.
Let's see that everywhere. What about Proverbs twenty eight twenty
(08:42):
A faithful person will be richly blessed but one eager
to get rich will not go unpunished. That's interesting. So
many times gambling is that the idea of it itself
just stems from a desire to quickly gain wealth. And
trying to quickly gain wealth, that's reflecting a love of money, agreed,
(09:06):
which the Bible condemns. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for you.
The other issue I think about is poor stewardship. Poor stewardship.
Now we're called to be faithful stewarts responsible and if
you're using gambling, not the guy that says I bet
once a year on the super Bowl for twenty bucks.
(09:28):
I'm not talking about that guy, but I'm saying, if
this is something you're into all the time, or the
people at the community church you're talking about, we would
have to consider something like Luke sixteen to ten that
says whoever can be trusted with very little can also
be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very
(09:48):
little will also be dishonest with much. So if you
have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will
trust you with true riches? That's interesting. Once again, this
is a thing that you don't have to go out
don't believe that. You just look around you go, yeah,
I get it. Man, If I can't trust you with
a penny, why would I ever trust you with one
(10:09):
hundred bucks. It doesn't You don't have to be reading
the Bible to just see that played out inner world
around us. So the Bible is always going to call
us to be responsible stewards of our resources, knowing that
God gives us everything. So when you're risking money and
gambling in a careless type setting, this is a way
(10:32):
that could hurt your stewardship and could be better used
in different ways. I think that's obvious. The other thing
that gambling kind of brings up in my mind is
a lack of contentment, right, a lack of contentment. Hebrews
thirteen to five says, keep your lives free from the
love of money and be content with what you have
(10:55):
because God has said I will never leave you, I'll
never forsake you. And so so many times you see
gambling turn into something that is reflecting a discontentment in
their current situation. It's like, man, I want to sit
at this table a little bit longer, because if I
(11:15):
can get this and this and this, I'm gonna be happy,
and that's totally going to contradict what the Bible calls
to be content. Here's an important one I think about two.
What is the impact of gambling on others? And this
is including the guy that bets on the Super Bowl
(11:38):
once a year. This is where I think this is
dangerous for him as well. You become a stumbling box
for others. Philippians two four says, don't look to your
own interest, but each of you look into the interest
of others. I'm paraphrasing all these and if someone is
struggling with gambling, or if they're struggling with any of
(12:01):
the things lack of contentment, poor stewardship, the love of money,
and greed, if anyone around you is struggling with these
and they see you going, yeah, I like to gamble
once a year on a football game, even if you
know how to have self control about it, that might
open the door to someone else that is struggling with
all of these things I've listed, and that becomes dangerous
(12:22):
for them, and so you become a stumbling block for them,
and that could just have endless repercussions on their families
and their community. Financial strain, relational conflicts with their spouse.
And so if we are truly, like the Bible says,
(12:43):
considering others and the well being of others before our
own desires, or at least equal to that, I think
gambling in many ways could be a stumbling book. And finally,
I think, probably most importantly, I think we need to
consider this the addictive behavior of gambling itself and what
(13:08):
it can cause. Even to the guy that says I
bet once a year on the Super Bowl, there is
a sense, and we see this play out, that gambling
becomes addictive, and there are certainly certain personalities that it's
more addictive too. So maybe I could use myself as
(13:33):
an example when it comes to this stuff. I don't
personally have a super addictive personality, but my brother Tyler does.
He recognizes that and I recognize it. So that means
Tyler has to be more careful around things that are
traditionally addictive to other humans. If something has been traditionally
(13:55):
addictive to people, Tyler's going to fall into it, not
due to some extent, but not to the extent of him.
Meaning there's nothing there's nothing good or bad about me
or Tyler in that aspect, except for this, just different personalities,
and so knowing that gambling is one of these things
that easily can become addictive, we need to consider that
(14:18):
when we're considering if gambling is a sin. One Corinthian
six twelve says, Paul's talking here. I have the right
to say anything you say, but not everything is beneficial.
I have the right to do anything, but I will
not be mastered by anything. Paul says. I will not
be mastered by anything. He's saying in another way, I'm
(14:40):
not going to be addicted to something. And that could
be anything. It could be anything in life that masters you.
It could be anxiety, or it could be poorn, It
could be Instagram, or could be sports betting. There's there's
an endless thing we can go through here. There's endless
(15:00):
things that you could be mastered by that I could
be mastered by. An addiction to relationships like I'm online
dating could be that could master you. Trying to be
a good father, you know, that could be something that
you become obsessive over and you can't stop thinking about it.
You can't stop working to be a good father. Something
(15:23):
that has such good intentions could could be something that
ends up mastering you. So it's not just cigarettes or opioids.
It could be something that inherently is good, but it
becomes a master over you. An obsession, an addiction, and
gambling is for sure in that category. You don't have
(15:44):
to argue that. No one's gonna argue that whatever it
is about that neurologically it draws certain people in, if
not everyone, at some level, there's just something about it
that draws you in. And the Bible says don't be
mastered by anything. And so this also goes to my
(16:06):
fourth point, the impact on others. If others could be
more addictive than you to certain things and you're doing
it and you have total self control over it, and
someone else sees you and they say, I want to
do what he's doing or she's doing. I'm gonna try
it out a little bit, and as soon as they do,
they realize they're addicted, not like the first person was.
(16:28):
That's a problem, and you just cause your brother to stumble.
So I hope when you hear these things, I hope,
I hope you can come to it a conclusion. You're
like I said at the beginning, where I don't necessarily
want to give you an answer as much as I
want to help you think through things, and then when
you think of all that and you go, yeah, it's
(16:50):
probably not worth it, right, It's probably not worth it.
I personally have played music in so many casinos in
my life, so many I could never count how many
casinos I've been and how many places in the world
I've been in some kind of casino atmosphere. I have zero,
(17:14):
zero desire at all to gamble. I just don't. I
don't like it if I lose twenty dollars at a
blackjack table, I instantly think about what that twenty dollars
could have bought, Like man, that could have been half
of a really, really nice stake, and in my mind
I can't get over that. I know that there are
(17:36):
definitely people that do it purely out of entertainment, and
to those people, I say, Okay, consider the things that
I've said here on this podcast, and to the original email,
I say, hey, Madison, let's make sure that you're prepared
(17:56):
to be judged on the same Measure'll move on. I
wish y'all could have seen the very first grangersmith dot com.
It was like two thousand and one, two thousand and two.
I remember it said grangersmith dot com. You go there.
It has like a little Texas flag, like blowing in
the wind, but it was like real, real bad quality,
(18:16):
and it had like my tour dates and a couple
other things. I definitely didn't sell anything. I didn't sell
a T shirt or a hat. That didn't come till
about two thousand and five. And my brother Tyler helped
me with that. He's been with me every since as
my manager, and we started selling. We noticed quickly that
selling is pretty hard online because you know, you got
to have a little icon where they click the credit
(18:38):
card thing, and then you got to figure out a
back end way that they could get their credit card charged.
And we just eventually we just gave it all to Shopify.
And I think a lot of businesses do the same.
We are better because it's so easy to sell things
with Shopify. Now, what is Shopify. It's a global commerce
platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
(18:58):
Whether you're just launching your website with the Texas flag
or you're doing a lot of big numbers. Shopify is
there to help you grow. It doesn't matter what you're selling,
whatever widget or ee apparel. Shopify helps you sell everywhere,
from their all in one e commerce platform to their
in person pos system. Wherever or whatever you're selling, Shopify
has got you covered, and they helped turn browsers into
(19:20):
buyers with their internet's best converting checkout that's thirty six
percent better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms.
You could also sell more with less effort thanks to
shopify Magic, your AI powered all star. Hey, true story.
I remember one time we got away from Shopify to
go with a local commerce platform, and I mean it
was horrible. We lost a lot of numbers, we lost
(19:41):
a lot of fans that were impatient with the checkout system,
and then we went back to Shopify. Hey, if you've
got a small business or a large business, join us
like ten percent of all e commerce platforms in the
whole US and go to Shopify. Also one hundred and
seventy five countries around the world. That's because businesses a
around the world use Shopify. If you've got a business
(20:03):
large or small, and you sell things on a website,
listen sign up for a one dollar per month trial
period at shopify dot com. Slash Granger all lowercase, go
to shopify dot com slash granger right now to grow
your business no matter what stage you're in shopify dot
com slash granger. Hey, if you want to get a
hold of me, go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith.
(20:25):
You will find me there and from there I could
build you a video message. I get your notes and
what you want me to say, like happy birthday, happy anniversary,
a word of encouragement, congratulations, good job on the graduation,
or why did you not make graduation? Whatever you want
me to say. I'll read those notes and I pull
out my phone and I record a video message and
(20:45):
I say whatever you need me to say to whoever
you need me to say it too, and I send
it right back to you. It's super simple. It's a
great gift for the person that you don't know what
to buy for. Again, go to Cameo c am eo
dot com slash grangers. Next question comes from Jacob once again.
Jacob emailed podcast at grangersmith dot com and you can too.
(21:06):
Jacob says, Hey, my name is Jacob. I've got a
brief backstory. I met my wife in high school and
we started dating after graduation, and then I shipped off
to the Air Force BMT. Two months later. We spent
four months four years excuse me long distance. After that,
I was stationed in Georgia while she was back home
in Ohio going to college, and once she graduated, she
(21:28):
moved down with me. We're currently living in Virginia. We
have a one year old son together, and we are
constantly fighting. I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes,
but every time I make a mistake, she jumps to
yelling and screaming at me. I get so defensive and
it just rises from there. I start to see this
(21:50):
marriage not working out. But I know that the Bible
says that divorce is only okay if there's been cheating involved.
I'm just losing hope in this relationship, and she is too.
We're tired of fighting and we don't want our son
in the middle of it. Any advice prayers would be amazing.
Thanks yee, Jacob, Jacob, I'm so sorry, brother. I hate
to see this for you, and I know this is
(22:16):
this is a tough spot. I'm gonna I'm gonna do
some math here. Four years Let's see you date. You
dated in high school four years long distance? Did you
say when you get married. I don't know. I don't know.
I think I'm guessing. We're talking about five years marriage
(22:39):
here and a one year old son together, constantly fighting.
What I want to talk about here? I could get
into the to the nitty gritty really of a relationship,
and I have before on this podcast, and I don't.
I don't think that's what you're looking for. I think
you're asking me, Hey, is it okay if I just
(23:00):
divorce this woman? I think that's basically what you're saying.
I don't. I don't see that there's a like a
a need or desire to reconcile the relationship. I think
you're more or less you're just like, hey, we fight.
I'm tired of it. She's tired of it. I don't
want my son seeing this. I want out. But I
have one problem, Granger. The Bible says that it's not
(23:23):
good to get a divorce. So what am I going
to do? I'm losing hope here. In fact, it sounds
like Jacob, it sounds like you're saying, if it wasn't
for the Bible, I'd just be out. It's what everyone
else does, right, so the whole world does. It seems
like so what I want to do, Jacob, I think
this is so important. Instead of instead of me getting
(23:44):
into the nitty gritty of your relationship, because honestly, I
just don't know that much about it. Besides, you make
mistakes and she jumps you. I don't know. I want
to talk about what it means about being a Christian
and dealing with divorce. I think this is so often
(24:08):
misunderstood and not talked about, but really, traditionally, this is
how it should be, and this is how it has been,
and this is what I want you to think about.
I'm assuming. I'm just assuming, forgive me if I'm wrong.
I'm assuming you're not in a meaningful relationship with the church,
(24:33):
a good, healthy church that has a proportionate amount of
pastors to the amount of congregates or members or people
that attend, so that if there were problems in the congregation,
there is a personal relationship with one of the pastors,
(24:58):
so that you could work through it. And you probably
know where I'm going with this. My point is it's
it's an amazing thought, and it's biblical, and it's true.
No Christian should deal with divorce alone. And better said,
and more, this punches the gut a little bit more.
(25:22):
To a Christian, divorce is not a private matter. It's crazy, right,
I mean, that's what we're called to do. And for
some reason in our culture, in today's age, divorce, family
problems have become a private matter, something that we just
(25:45):
keep behind closed doors, and it festers and it gets worse.
Shut the windows, shut the doors, put the kid in
his room, shut his door, and let's fight it out.
And then one day the couple emerges into the community
and says, we're separated, we're now getting a divorce, and
in the community goes, oh, so sorry, yeah, we're you know,
(26:08):
we've already followed the papers. That's what that's what we say.
That's not the way it's supposed to be for Christians.
And it stings a little bit right when I say
that for a Christian, divorce is not a private matter. Instead,
it is a community matter. It should be done in
the community of the church, so that you don't have
(26:30):
to email a podcast and ask about it. You don't
have to email stranger, this former country singer that has
the podcast and ask him advice. You don't even know him,
He didn't know you, and he didn't know your situation
and you don't have to think about it. Instead, it's
done in the community of the church itself. And today
(26:51):
in this age, we hear that, we go, oh, that's
nobody's business, this is my private issue, but it's not.
You marry in front of the community, right, and everyone
affirms you, in front of your family and your friends,
and you stand up there and you make your vows
under God with the preacher, and you say it in
(27:12):
front of everyone around, so that they could all attest
and they could affirm your marriage and your love for
each other. And they say by being there, by being
in attendance of the wedding, they say, we will walk
forward through sickness and in health, through happiness, through sadness,
through grief. We will be there with you because all
that stuff is coming, because you're a human on planet Earth,
(27:33):
all that stuff is coming, and we will walk with
you as a community through that. But then somehow we've
lost that idea. Later in the marriage, five years in
you have problems and you close all the doors in
the windows, and it becomes a private matter in the community.
The church is no longer in it at all, until
you emerge and you tell everybody. Then we've decided to
get a divorce, and collectively, people don't say it, but
(27:58):
they think, why didn't you, Why didn't you open up
to us? Why couldn't we have walked you through this?
Why couldn't we have been the ones to say no,
it's not time for that. We're gonna help you fight through.
We're gonna walk through this with you. And here's we're
gonna help you this way. We're gonna help you this way,
and we're gonna tell her to stop that. We're gonna
(28:19):
tell you to stop it, and we're gonna tell her
to keep doing that. We're gonna tell you to keep
doing that. But collectively, as a tribe, as a family,
as a unit, as a community, as a church, which
literally in its word means gathering, we come together and
we walk this with you. And then when I start slipping,
I want you to walk with me and my wife.
(28:42):
And then when there's somethings happened, when your boy, we
want to step in. We want to help raise your
boy with you, and something's happening weird with your girl.
We want to step in as a community as a
church and help you collectively raise this girl. Because we
have women and old ladies that could help pour into
your wife as she's wondering how to be a good
mother to a daughter. And we have men and all
men and grandpa's that could help you so you don't
(29:03):
have to be alone and learning how to raise a boy.
This is how it's always been done in human culture
until now. It's everything's private. It's a private matter. Don't
tell anyone. Hush hush, sweep it under the rug. That's
not the way it should be. It's not the way
God designed it to be. Didn't design marriage to be private,
(29:26):
which is why we do the ceremony of marriage in public.
So I want to encourage you to think more in
that way that your problems, your marriage problems, your divorce pending,
it's not private. Open it up to the church. Open
(29:47):
it up starting with your pastor get people to pray
for you. Get other couples to tell you how they
made it through times that were tough, so that you
could have an older couple that goes, yeah, I remember
those days. I remember the one year old at home,
I remember the father that travels, I remember the wife
(30:07):
grumbling about it. And this is this is what we did.
We had the same problem guys, and this is what
we did to walk through it. How could we help
you walk through it as well? Because going through that
divorce is not going to fix anything. You know that right,
look around at culture. Going through the divorce itself. It's
not gonna fix your own problems. The fact it just
(30:27):
perpetuates the cycle. You get into another relationship and it
happens again. You think at first, oh, this is great,
it feels good. Everything's right now. I finally found the
right one. It's all I needed was to put the
right puzzle piece in. And then you realize quickly, yeah,
the same problems start coming up because you're still you
I don't you don't. You don't have to take my
(30:50):
word for it. You just got to look around and see,
this is what happens in life, this is this is
what we do. So that's my advice. I'm not digging
into the problems that you're having. I'm just saying, bring
it to the church, bring it to your pastor walk
through sit there and say what can we do to
reconcile this. All I want to do is fix this.
It's the best thing for your son, and it's the
best thing for you. And listen, I'm not saying what
(31:15):
I'm not saying. Don't hear me saying, stay together, no
matter what it all costs, stay with this woman. I'm
not saying that. I'm saying. The decision whether or not
you should or you shouldn't doesn't have to be all
left to yourself. It could be done in community, just
like it was done in the wedding ceremony itself. Next
(31:40):
question comes from Ben, says he Grendarm. My name is Ben.
I'm a dad to a five month old boy who
means everything to me, and a husband to a wonderful wife.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church, where my
dad has been the preacher my whole life. My wife
was raised Church of Christ and feels firmly about her
Church of Christ. Since we've been married, we've attended the
(32:03):
Curch Church of Christ because that's where she wanted to go.
But I still feel don't feel totally comfortable as to
know what side I'm on, and frankly, I don't feel
like I should be on a side. I just want
to honor God with my life and follow him. But
this has caused some heartache in our home, trying to
decide where we will raise our son and future kids
(32:23):
at church. Any advice for navigating this decision? Things? All, right, Ben,
interesting right back to back questions. It's interesting First of
all to people outside of this question. I will say
that having the conversation about how how you'll raise your
kids and what kind of church you'll go to, things
(32:47):
like that, those are important things to work out before
you get married, because in it it's a lot more difficult.
Outside of it, you could work it out and you
could go, hey, I don't think we could make this work,
and this might be the end of our relationship because
of it. Right, So just work it out before. But
when you're in it like you are been, you can't
(33:08):
help that. Now. My first thought is for context, I
am a Southern Baptist seminarian and my mother's family is
all Church of Christ. So I in some way I
have empathy for the situation. I understand, I at least
understand it to some degree. Not I don't understand your life,
(33:28):
but I understand the dynamic of Church of Christ and
Baptist Church Southern Baptist. So as we as we dive
into this, I want to say, first and foremost, you
are called biblically to be the spiritual leader of your household.
This is not in some dominating, dominating way, This is
(33:51):
not in some oppressive way. But you are called from
the Bible to lead the family spiritually. And when you don't,
when you don't step into what you were called to
do as a man, problems happen. And so then you
come to the podcast and you say, look, I have
a problem, and I want to make sure and that's okay,
(34:12):
and we'll talk through it, but I want to make
sure before I get into it. I want to make
sure I'm showing you where the problem came from. Like
here it is Ben, Look this, I want you to
make sure you know where the source of the problem is.
The source of the problem. Is you not stepping into
the spiritual leader of the household that the Bible has
called you, not granger, not someone on YouTube, but what
(34:33):
God has called you to step into as a man,
as the spiritual leader of your house saying this is
where we're going to go to church, this is how
we're gonna pray, this is how we're gonna worship. And
we've already gone down a road here that it feels
(34:56):
like that's in serious jeopardy, So here we are. I
also want to point out second thing I want to say.
And I hear this all the time. It's not your fault,
but the idea of I don't want to pick a side.
I just want to honor God and mote with my
life and follow him. That sounds so beautiful, Ben, I'm
so glad that that's how you feel. And I feel
(35:16):
the same way. But when we start getting into the
practical outworking of that, I have to say, well, okay, Ben,
well what does baptism look like? And you say it
looks like this granger? And I say, well, what is
taking the Lord's Supper look like? And you say it
looks like this? And I say what does a band
in a church look like? And you say this? And
(35:36):
I say what does salvation look like? According to you?
And you say like this. And by the time we
answer ten or twelve questions, you're in a denomination, you know,
And so you have to understand that, as much as
it sounds amazing to just I don't want to pick
a denomination. That's what you're saying when you say side,
I don't want to pick a denomination. I just want
(35:57):
to follow God. And honor him with my life. I say, wonderful,
that's amazing. But everyone has certain things that have a
proclivity of being in a denomination. If you say I
don't ever want drums in church, I don't think drums
belong in church, then you've identified something in your personality
that's leaning somewhere. If you say baptism should be total immersion,
(36:20):
or if you say baptism should be sprinkling babies, you've identified,
either way some aspect of a denomination of people that
you agree with. Now, let me say that there are
four core fundamental elements pillars that you have to agree with.
No matter what denomination you believe, you have to believe
(36:42):
four core things. Number one, you have to believe that
God exists as one being and three persons one mind,
three beings, excuse me be three persons, one being, Father, Son,
Holy Spirit. That is the doctrine of the trinity. That
(37:04):
is something we see throughout all sixty six books of
the Bible. Over and over we see God has revealed
himself in three persons, one being three different roles, Jesus
and John seventeen is praying to the Father. He is
in a submitted submissive role to the Father. Jesus is,
(37:26):
and Jesus is not the Father, and the Father is
not the Son, and the Spirit is not either of them.
But all three of them have the same essence. They
are the same being. And we see this played out
in many different ways. In the beginning was the Word,
and the word was with God, and the word was God.
He was in the beginning with God, so we see.
(37:48):
And then a few verses later and the Word became flesh.
We see this played out in so many ways in
the Bible. We have to understand that the trinity is
something we do not ever doubt or disagree with, or
you are not a Christian. Number two, Jesus is fully man,
(38:09):
fully God, fully man, full divinity, fully human. We have
to understand the aspect of Jesus in his personhood was
fully man and fully God. Number three, we have to
we have to agree that you're saved in salvation. You're
(38:31):
saved by grace through faith, not by works. That is fundamental.
You're saved by grace and not by works. Ephesians two
eight is going to say, for it's by grace. You've
been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing.
It's the gift of God, not a result of works,
so that no man may boast if you disagree with
(38:57):
that it in any way. If you think that, well
it it also has to do with what you do
to get into heaven, then you're not a Christian. And then, finally,
and this doesn't have to be in any kind of order, Finally,
you have to believe in the inerrancy of the Bible,
and the Bible alone. The Bible is God breathed, all scriptures,
(39:18):
breed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof,
for correction, and for training and righteousness, that the Man
of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
The Bible is perfectly inspired by the Holy Spirit. It
is God's word, and it is complete, and it's cannon
that was passed down to us saw sixty six books.
Those are the four main pillars. If you disagree with
(39:40):
any of the four, you're not a Christian. And so
whenever we branch off from denominations, we have to understand
that it's okay to disagree about drums and church. So
it's okay to disagree about pews or chairs. It's okay,
although kind of frightening to disagree about worshiping on Saturday
(40:02):
or Sunday, heavily lean on Sunday. And there's a lot
of things that would heavily lean on. You know, it's
okay to disagree about baptism, sprinkling or total immersion. But
even though I totally would lean into total submersion. But
but that doesn't jeopardize your faith as a Christian. It's
(40:24):
it's within let me say it this way, it's within
the bounds. It's within the boundaries of being a Christian.
You could there is room to disagree with a lot
of things, a lot of things, but the four pillars
you cannot, I'll say more time. The Trinity, the full
humanity and divinity of Christ, the innerancy of Scripture, the
Bible being the only revealed word of God and the
(40:46):
only way we know truly how God has revealed himself
to us, not through prophets, not through modern revelation, but
only through the Word. And then lastly, salvation is from
grace by faith alone in Christ. Knowing that, brother, I
(41:09):
hurt for you that it's gone this far as you
have literally this is this is what's happened. You've submitted
to your wife to make her happy. You said, I
did it to make her feel comfortable. I submitted to
her authority to make her comfy. And now you're going,
(41:32):
uh oh, I think I'm messed up. So let's let
that be known. That's where the problem originated from. And
I promise you if it's the other way around, if
it's done biblically, she's so much happier. She's actually way
more comfortable when you step into the role that you're
(41:52):
called to be, and it allows her to step into
the role that she has been called to be, and
then both of you are just so much more comfortable.
We see this played out all around us all the time.
So I think I could leave it there, and I
think I could say, brother, I wish you the best.
And I also would say this, let me finish with this,
(42:14):
and probably shouldn't say it, but I'll say it because
I have experienced a lot of experience with Church of
Christ with my family. But they will say that they
are the only church. I've heard Pentecostals say this as well.
Of course Catholics say it, Church LDS says it. But
(42:37):
if you hear people start saying things like this is
the only church you go to, any other church, it's
the wrong church. Everyone else is going to hell, but
this church. If you hear that, that becomes weird. Remember
the four pillars. I told you the four pillars are
what's going to matter and anything else. If you start
hearing this is the only church, I start worrying about that.
And the Church of Christ says that than Baptist Church
(43:00):
does not ever say that. There was no way any
of us should be so arrogant to say that we
have the only right church as long as you're following
the four pillars, Trinity, divinity, humanity of Christ, an erranty
of Scripture, and salvation through faith by grace in Christ alone. Okay,
(43:21):
Well in there, Love you guys. If you have a question,
email podcast at grangersmith dot com. And I have a
lot more I could have gotten to today, but I think
I hold it. I'll hold it right there and we'll
see y'all next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the
Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little
(43:44):
like button and notification spell so that you never miss
anytime I upload a video, Yigi
Hey, what's up everybody, Thanks for being here. If you
have a question for me on this podcast, what I
do is I answer them. It could be about any subject.
Uh there's They've really been all over the place, and
so to email me. Send a message, send your question,
hopefully about the about a phone's length to podcasts at
grangersmith dot com. I'll get to those emails, we'll put
(00:32):
them in the queue, and we'll answer them on here.
I don't always have the right answers, and I don't
have a bunch of notes sitting in front of me.
But what I what I have learned of the of
the last several years of doing this. My goal really
is to get you, mister questioner, missus questioner, is to
(00:53):
get you thinking so that you could answer your own questions. Really,
I guess I guess I should say that way. My
goal is not to have a podcast that we go
for twenty years and just try to exhaust every single
possible question that I could possibly answer. Really, the goal
is if you listen consistently, I hope you do. My
(01:15):
goal is that you go. I'm starting to see how
Granger gets his answers from I like his answers. Maybe
you don't like them all. Surely you don't like all
my answers. That would be impossible. We all have different taste.
But hey, I like a lot of the way Granger
answers questions, and I'm starting to see how he gets
his answers so that I could I could start answering
(01:39):
my own questions in that same way. So it's really
more of of learning how to think, or learning how
to think through a question. There's really even of these
questions I always get to are very specific. There's only
there's only seven to ten actual questions, and everything else
is just caught in the details of it. Right, So
(02:02):
let's get to the first one comes from Madison again.
She emailed podcast at grangersmith dot com. And I'm kicking
off with Madison's question here because this is what I'm
going to kind of base this little first break on.
I'll show you what I mean. She asked us, Hey, Granger,
it maybe that I can't recall from reading my Bible,
(02:22):
or that it isn't something that is within the Bible
at all, But how does sports betting align with the
Christian value system? I have friends within my community church
that partake in sports betting, and more than anything, this
is just a general thought. Is gambling a sin? That's
your question? God Bless Madison. So yeah, her question is basically,
(02:47):
is gambling a sin? It's in the context of sports betting,
which I don't think there's an argument there that every
kind of betting, every kind of betting that there is
is would be under the umbrella of gambling. So you
don't have to be in a casino pulling a slot
machine lever for it to be called gambling. You don't
have to be in a back alley playing poker in
(03:11):
some kind of shambly bar for it to be considered gambling.
It could be just like, oh, and I should say
this too, It doesn't have to be illegal. In fact,
it would be weird to only consider the sin part
of gambling if it is a sin. We'll get to
that if it's illegal or not, Because anything that's illegal
(03:35):
would be considered a sin at some level, because you
would be going against the authority at some level. We
think that's a different question. Maybe someone else could ask
that specifically and we could dive into that, But specifically,
what I want talking about is legal gambling. Is that
a sin? And that's basically what Madison's asking. She says,
(03:57):
there are people in her church that do it, so
let's think about it. I think we should think about
it in some ways, like alcohol. You know, it's a
substance that you could certainly abuse. It's a substance that is,
if used in the right way, legal, and yet in
(04:21):
so many other ways it could be devastating to a
life with gambling. I first, I think, I think my
first thought I would go to considering it's legal, and
can consider this too. Maybe never mind, let me start here,
as you could see, I make this up as I go. Y'all,
let's let's let's start with make sure Madison that you
(04:47):
understand that as we judge those Hey look, look, the
Bible doesn't say don't judge period. In the story. The
Bible says, be careful with your judging, because you'll be
judged according to the same measure. So there are definitely
some things that we should judge with with our brothers
and sisters, we should we should judge them in it like,
(05:09):
don't don't misunderstand that we don't judge. We just like
turn a blind eye to everything. We have no opinion.
We're just like neutral robots. And we don't care what
other people do around this. Don't judge. I see that
sometimes on social media it's like, hey, don't judge. Well,
that's not what the Bible says, that's not what Jesus says.
It's it's it's the idea of don't don't judge unless
(05:30):
you are willing to be judged according to the same
measure and a lot of the same measures we want
to be judged by. Okay, so let's start there and say,
let's be sure that you're you're you're you're not worried
about the speck in your brother's eye, and you've got
a log in your own eye. Let's make sure we're
removing the log in our own eye. It is or Jesus,
(05:51):
this is Jesus's idea that make sure when we're looking
at other people, like, hey, those guys are those guys
are gambling, and then you're going home and you're having
it too many glasses of wine at home. You know, Hey,
those guys are gambling. What's wrong with those guys? As
we're popping too many pain pills, Hey, those guys are gambling.
(06:11):
As we're addicted to social media, cannot get our heads
out of our screen. We're so addicted to it. Hey,
those guys are gambling, and the list goes on and on.
Make sure first before we say anything, let's make sure
we remove the log from our own eye before we
look to anyone else. Okay, now, let's talk about that.
(06:32):
There's also this aspect that I don't think there's anything
wrong with someone in an innocent way saying, look, I
legitimately like to go and bet on a sports team.
It's legal, and I use twenty bucks. I like to say, hey,
I like to bet on the super Bowl every year
(06:54):
as a tradition. Hypothetically, there's a Super Bowl tradition I
have in my family. I like to put twenty bucks
on the team from the west of the Mississippi. I
don't know. I don't know why you would do it.
I personally don't gamble at all, But I'm saying, let's
think about the guy that goes. I like to put
(07:16):
twenty dollars. It's a tradition I do every year on
the Super Bowl, and there's no harm in it. I
budget twenty bucks. You know, it's not like going to
break the bank or anything. It's legal. I do it
in a legal way. I do it in a setting
of camaraderie. People around me, we do it together. Hey,
nothing wrong with that, But let's dive into why it
(07:39):
could be wrong if taken the wrong way, if seen
the wrong way in the wrong setting. First of all,
gambling in so many ways has an underlying issue of
a love of money or greed. Right. The Bible speaks
(08:00):
thoroughly about this. Second, our first Timothy is six ' ten.
The love of money is the root of all kinds
of evil. Some people eager for money have wandered from
the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs or many pangs.
That's tough, right, and we know this. Some people eager
for money have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves
(08:21):
with many griefs. The Bible says that Paul speaking of
Timothy here in his letter, he's writing a Timothy. But
I don't think we have to go. I don't know, Paul,
I don't know if I agree with that. All of us,
non believers, believers, all of us go. Yeah, I see that.
Let's see that everywhere. What about Proverbs twenty eight twenty
(08:42):
A faithful person will be richly blessed but one eager
to get rich will not go unpunished. That's interesting. So
many times gambling is that the idea of it itself
just stems from a desire to quickly gain wealth. And
trying to quickly gain wealth, that's reflecting a love of money, agreed,
(09:06):
which the Bible condemns. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for you.
The other issue I think about is poor stewardship. Poor stewardship.
Now we're called to be faithful stewarts responsible and if
you're using gambling, not the guy that says I bet
once a year on the super Bowl for twenty bucks.
(09:28):
I'm not talking about that guy, but I'm saying, if
this is something you're into all the time, or the
people at the community church you're talking about, we would
have to consider something like Luke sixteen to ten that
says whoever can be trusted with very little can also
be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very
(09:48):
little will also be dishonest with much. So if you
have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will
trust you with true riches? That's interesting. Once again, this
is a thing that you don't have to go out
don't believe that. You just look around you go, yeah,
I get it. Man, If I can't trust you with
a penny, why would I ever trust you with one
(10:09):
hundred bucks. It doesn't You don't have to be reading
the Bible to just see that played out inner world
around us. So the Bible is always going to call
us to be responsible stewards of our resources, knowing that
God gives us everything. So when you're risking money and
gambling in a careless type setting, this is a way
(10:32):
that could hurt your stewardship and could be better used
in different ways. I think that's obvious. The other thing
that gambling kind of brings up in my mind is
a lack of contentment, right, a lack of contentment. Hebrews
thirteen to five says, keep your lives free from the
love of money and be content with what you have
(10:55):
because God has said I will never leave you, I'll
never forsake you. And so so many times you see
gambling turn into something that is reflecting a discontentment in
their current situation. It's like, man, I want to sit
at this table a little bit longer, because if I
(11:15):
can get this and this and this, I'm gonna be happy,
and that's totally going to contradict what the Bible calls
to be content. Here's an important one I think about two.
What is the impact of gambling on others? And this
is including the guy that bets on the Super Bowl
(11:38):
once a year. This is where I think this is
dangerous for him as well. You become a stumbling box
for others. Philippians two four says, don't look to your
own interest, but each of you look into the interest
of others. I'm paraphrasing all these and if someone is
struggling with gambling, or if they're struggling with any of
(12:01):
the things lack of contentment, poor stewardship, the love of money,
and greed, if anyone around you is struggling with these
and they see you going, yeah, I like to gamble
once a year on a football game, even if you
know how to have self control about it, that might
open the door to someone else that is struggling with
all of these things I've listed, and that becomes dangerous
(12:22):
for them, and so you become a stumbling block for them,
and that could just have endless repercussions on their families
and their community. Financial strain, relational conflicts with their spouse.
And so if we are truly, like the Bible says,
(12:43):
considering others and the well being of others before our
own desires, or at least equal to that, I think
gambling in many ways could be a stumbling book. And finally,
I think, probably most importantly, I think we need to
consider this the addictive behavior of gambling itself and what
(13:08):
it can cause. Even to the guy that says I
bet once a year on the Super Bowl, there is
a sense, and we see this play out, that gambling
becomes addictive, and there are certainly certain personalities that it's
more addictive too. So maybe I could use myself as
(13:33):
an example when it comes to this stuff. I don't
personally have a super addictive personality, but my brother Tyler does.
He recognizes that and I recognize it. So that means
Tyler has to be more careful around things that are
traditionally addictive to other humans. If something has been traditionally
(13:55):
addictive to people, Tyler's going to fall into it, not
due to some extent, but not to the extent of him.
Meaning there's nothing there's nothing good or bad about me
or Tyler in that aspect, except for this, just different personalities,
and so knowing that gambling is one of these things
that easily can become addictive, we need to consider that
(14:18):
when we're considering if gambling is a sin. One Corinthian
six twelve says, Paul's talking here. I have the right
to say anything you say, but not everything is beneficial.
I have the right to do anything, but I will
not be mastered by anything. Paul says. I will not
be mastered by anything. He's saying in another way, I'm
(14:40):
not going to be addicted to something. And that could
be anything. It could be anything in life that masters you.
It could be anxiety, or it could be poorn, It
could be Instagram, or could be sports betting. There's there's
an endless thing we can go through here. There's endless
(15:00):
things that you could be mastered by that I could
be mastered by. An addiction to relationships like I'm online
dating could be that could master you. Trying to be
a good father, you know, that could be something that
you become obsessive over and you can't stop thinking about it.
You can't stop working to be a good father. Something
(15:23):
that has such good intentions could could be something that
ends up mastering you. So it's not just cigarettes or opioids.
It could be something that inherently is good, but it
becomes a master over you. An obsession, an addiction, and
gambling is for sure in that category. You don't have
(15:44):
to argue that. No one's gonna argue that whatever it
is about that neurologically it draws certain people in, if
not everyone, at some level, there's just something about it
that draws you in. And the Bible says don't be
mastered by anything. And so this also goes to my
(16:06):
fourth point, the impact on others. If others could be
more addictive than you to certain things and you're doing
it and you have total self control over it, and
someone else sees you and they say, I want to
do what he's doing or she's doing. I'm gonna try
it out a little bit, and as soon as they do,
they realize they're addicted, not like the first person was.
(16:28):
That's a problem, and you just cause your brother to stumble.
So I hope when you hear these things, I hope,
I hope you can come to it a conclusion. You're
like I said at the beginning, where I don't necessarily
want to give you an answer as much as I
want to help you think through things, and then when
you think of all that and you go, yeah, it's
(16:50):
probably not worth it, right, It's probably not worth it.
I personally have played music in so many casinos in
my life, so many I could never count how many
casinos I've been and how many places in the world
I've been in some kind of casino atmosphere. I have zero,
(17:14):
zero desire at all to gamble. I just don't. I
don't like it if I lose twenty dollars at a
blackjack table, I instantly think about what that twenty dollars
could have bought, Like man, that could have been half
of a really, really nice stake, and in my mind
I can't get over that. I know that there are
(17:36):
definitely people that do it purely out of entertainment, and
to those people, I say, Okay, consider the things that
I've said here on this podcast, and to the original email,
I say, hey, Madison, let's make sure that you're prepared
(17:56):
to be judged on the same Measure'll move on. I
wish y'all could have seen the very first grangersmith dot com.
It was like two thousand and one, two thousand and two.
I remember it said grangersmith dot com. You go there.
It has like a little Texas flag, like blowing in
the wind, but it was like real, real bad quality,
(18:16):
and it had like my tour dates and a couple
other things. I definitely didn't sell anything. I didn't sell
a T shirt or a hat. That didn't come till
about two thousand and five. And my brother Tyler helped
me with that. He's been with me every since as
my manager, and we started selling. We noticed quickly that
selling is pretty hard online because you know, you got
to have a little icon where they click the credit
(18:38):
card thing, and then you got to figure out a
back end way that they could get their credit card charged.
And we just eventually we just gave it all to Shopify.
And I think a lot of businesses do the same.
We are better because it's so easy to sell things
with Shopify. Now, what is Shopify. It's a global commerce
platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
(18:58):
Whether you're just launching your website with the Texas flag
or you're doing a lot of big numbers. Shopify is
there to help you grow. It doesn't matter what you're selling,
whatever widget or ee apparel. Shopify helps you sell everywhere,
from their all in one e commerce platform to their
in person pos system. Wherever or whatever you're selling, Shopify
has got you covered, and they helped turn browsers into
(19:20):
buyers with their internet's best converting checkout that's thirty six
percent better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms.
You could also sell more with less effort thanks to
shopify Magic, your AI powered all star. Hey, true story.
I remember one time we got away from Shopify to
go with a local commerce platform, and I mean it
was horrible. We lost a lot of numbers, we lost
(19:41):
a lot of fans that were impatient with the checkout system,
and then we went back to Shopify. Hey, if you've
got a small business or a large business, join us
like ten percent of all e commerce platforms in the
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(20:03):
large or small, and you sell things on a website,
listen sign up for a one dollar per month trial
period at shopify dot com. Slash Granger all lowercase, go
to shopify dot com slash granger right now to grow
your business no matter what stage you're in shopify dot
com slash granger. Hey, if you want to get a
hold of me, go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith.
(20:25):
You will find me there and from there I could
build you a video message. I get your notes and
what you want me to say, like happy birthday, happy anniversary,
a word of encouragement, congratulations, good job on the graduation,
or why did you not make graduation? Whatever you want
me to say. I'll read those notes and I pull
out my phone and I record a video message and
(20:45):
I say whatever you need me to say to whoever
you need me to say it too, and I send
it right back to you. It's super simple. It's a
great gift for the person that you don't know what
to buy for. Again, go to Cameo c am eo
dot com slash grangers. Next question comes from Jacob once again.
Jacob emailed podcast at grangersmith dot com and you can too.
(21:06):
Jacob says, Hey, my name is Jacob. I've got a
brief backstory. I met my wife in high school and
we started dating after graduation, and then I shipped off
to the Air Force BMT. Two months later. We spent
four months four years excuse me long distance. After that,
I was stationed in Georgia while she was back home
in Ohio going to college, and once she graduated, she
(21:28):
moved down with me. We're currently living in Virginia. We
have a one year old son together, and we are
constantly fighting. I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes,
but every time I make a mistake, she jumps to
yelling and screaming at me. I get so defensive and
it just rises from there. I start to see this
(21:50):
marriage not working out. But I know that the Bible
says that divorce is only okay if there's been cheating involved.
I'm just losing hope in this relationship, and she is too.
We're tired of fighting and we don't want our son
in the middle of it. Any advice prayers would be amazing.
Thanks yee, Jacob, Jacob, I'm so sorry, brother. I hate
to see this for you, and I know this is
(22:16):
this is a tough spot. I'm gonna I'm gonna do
some math here. Four years Let's see you date. You
dated in high school four years long distance? Did you
say when you get married. I don't know. I don't know.
I think I'm guessing. We're talking about five years marriage
(22:39):
here and a one year old son together, constantly fighting.
What I want to talk about here? I could get
into the to the nitty gritty really of a relationship,
and I have before on this podcast, and I don't.
I don't think that's what you're looking for. I think
you're asking me, Hey, is it okay if I just
(23:00):
divorce this woman? I think that's basically what you're saying.
I don't. I don't see that there's a like a
a need or desire to reconcile the relationship. I think
you're more or less you're just like, hey, we fight.
I'm tired of it. She's tired of it. I don't
want my son seeing this. I want out. But I
have one problem, Granger. The Bible says that it's not
(23:23):
good to get a divorce. So what am I going
to do? I'm losing hope here. In fact, it sounds
like Jacob, it sounds like you're saying, if it wasn't
for the Bible, I'd just be out. It's what everyone
else does, right, so the whole world does. It seems
like so what I want to do, Jacob, I think
this is so important. Instead of instead of me getting
(23:44):
into the nitty gritty of your relationship, because honestly, I
just don't know that much about it. Besides, you make
mistakes and she jumps you. I don't know. I want
to talk about what it means about being a Christian
and dealing with divorce. I think this is so often
(24:08):
misunderstood and not talked about, but really, traditionally, this is
how it should be, and this is how it has been,
and this is what I want you to think about.
I'm assuming. I'm just assuming, forgive me if I'm wrong.
I'm assuming you're not in a meaningful relationship with the church,
(24:33):
a good, healthy church that has a proportionate amount of
pastors to the amount of congregates or members or people
that attend, so that if there were problems in the congregation,
there is a personal relationship with one of the pastors,
(24:58):
so that you could work through it. And you probably
know where I'm going with this. My point is it's
it's an amazing thought, and it's biblical, and it's true.
No Christian should deal with divorce alone. And better said,
and more, this punches the gut a little bit more.
(25:22):
To a Christian, divorce is not a private matter. It's crazy, right,
I mean, that's what we're called to do. And for
some reason in our culture, in today's age, divorce, family
problems have become a private matter, something that we just
(25:45):
keep behind closed doors, and it festers and it gets worse.
Shut the windows, shut the doors, put the kid in
his room, shut his door, and let's fight it out.
And then one day the couple emerges into the community
and says, we're separated, we're now getting a divorce, and
in the community goes, oh, so sorry, yeah, we're you know,
(26:08):
we've already followed the papers. That's what that's what we say.
That's not the way it's supposed to be for Christians.
And it stings a little bit right when I say
that for a Christian, divorce is not a private matter. Instead,
it is a community matter. It should be done in
the community of the church, so that you don't have
(26:30):
to email a podcast and ask about it. You don't
have to email stranger, this former country singer that has
the podcast and ask him advice. You don't even know him,
He didn't know you, and he didn't know your situation
and you don't have to think about it. Instead, it's
done in the community of the church itself. And today
(26:51):
in this age, we hear that, we go, oh, that's
nobody's business, this is my private issue, but it's not.
You marry in front of the community, right, and everyone
affirms you, in front of your family and your friends,
and you stand up there and you make your vows
under God with the preacher, and you say it in
(27:12):
front of everyone around, so that they could all attest
and they could affirm your marriage and your love for
each other. And they say by being there, by being
in attendance of the wedding, they say, we will walk
forward through sickness and in health, through happiness, through sadness,
through grief. We will be there with you because all
that stuff is coming, because you're a human on planet Earth,
(27:33):
all that stuff is coming, and we will walk with
you as a community through that. But then somehow we've
lost that idea. Later in the marriage, five years in
you have problems and you close all the doors in
the windows, and it becomes a private matter in the community.
The church is no longer in it at all, until
you emerge and you tell everybody. Then we've decided to
get a divorce, and collectively, people don't say it, but
(27:58):
they think, why didn't you, Why didn't you open up
to us? Why couldn't we have walked you through this?
Why couldn't we have been the ones to say no,
it's not time for that. We're gonna help you fight through.
We're gonna walk through this with you. And here's we're
gonna help you this way. We're gonna help you this way,
and we're gonna tell her to stop that. We're gonna
(28:19):
tell you to stop it, and we're gonna tell her
to keep doing that. We're gonna tell you to keep
doing that. But collectively, as a tribe, as a family,
as a unit, as a community, as a church, which
literally in its word means gathering, we come together and
we walk this with you. And then when I start slipping,
I want you to walk with me and my wife.
(28:42):
And then when there's somethings happened, when your boy, we
want to step in. We want to help raise your
boy with you, and something's happening weird with your girl.
We want to step in as a community as a
church and help you collectively raise this girl. Because we
have women and old ladies that could help pour into
your wife as she's wondering how to be a good
mother to a daughter. And we have men and all
men and grandpa's that could help you so you don't
(29:03):
have to be alone and learning how to raise a boy.
This is how it's always been done in human culture
until now. It's everything's private. It's a private matter. Don't
tell anyone. Hush hush, sweep it under the rug. That's
not the way it should be. It's not the way
God designed it to be. Didn't design marriage to be private,
(29:26):
which is why we do the ceremony of marriage in public.
So I want to encourage you to think more in
that way that your problems, your marriage problems, your divorce pending,
it's not private. Open it up to the church. Open
(29:47):
it up starting with your pastor get people to pray
for you. Get other couples to tell you how they
made it through times that were tough, so that you
could have an older couple that goes, yeah, I remember
those days. I remember the one year old at home,
I remember the father that travels, I remember the wife
(30:07):
grumbling about it. And this is this is what we did.
We had the same problem guys, and this is what
we did to walk through it. How could we help
you walk through it as well? Because going through that
divorce is not going to fix anything. You know that right,
look around at culture. Going through the divorce itself. It's
not gonna fix your own problems. The fact it just
(30:27):
perpetuates the cycle. You get into another relationship and it
happens again. You think at first, oh, this is great,
it feels good. Everything's right now. I finally found the
right one. It's all I needed was to put the
right puzzle piece in. And then you realize quickly, yeah,
the same problems start coming up because you're still you
I don't you don't. You don't have to take my
(30:50):
word for it. You just got to look around and see,
this is what happens in life, this is this is
what we do. So that's my advice. I'm not digging
into the problems that you're having. I'm just saying, bring
it to the church, bring it to your pastor walk
through sit there and say what can we do to
reconcile this. All I want to do is fix this.
It's the best thing for your son, and it's the
best thing for you. And listen, I'm not saying what
(31:15):
I'm not saying. Don't hear me saying, stay together, no
matter what it all costs, stay with this woman. I'm
not saying that. I'm saying. The decision whether or not
you should or you shouldn't doesn't have to be all
left to yourself. It could be done in community, just
like it was done in the wedding ceremony itself. Next
(31:40):
question comes from Ben, says he Grendarm. My name is Ben.
I'm a dad to a five month old boy who
means everything to me, and a husband to a wonderful wife.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church, where my
dad has been the preacher my whole life. My wife
was raised Church of Christ and feels firmly about her
Church of Christ. Since we've been married, we've attended the
(32:03):
Curch Church of Christ because that's where she wanted to go.
But I still feel don't feel totally comfortable as to
know what side I'm on, and frankly, I don't feel
like I should be on a side. I just want
to honor God with my life and follow him. But
this has caused some heartache in our home, trying to
decide where we will raise our son and future kids
(32:23):
at church. Any advice for navigating this decision? Things? All, right, Ben,
interesting right back to back questions. It's interesting First of
all to people outside of this question. I will say
that having the conversation about how how you'll raise your
kids and what kind of church you'll go to, things
(32:47):
like that, those are important things to work out before
you get married, because in it it's a lot more difficult.
Outside of it, you could work it out and you
could go, hey, I don't think we could make this work,
and this might be the end of our relationship because
of it. Right, So just work it out before. But
when you're in it like you are been, you can't
(33:08):
help that. Now. My first thought is for context, I
am a Southern Baptist seminarian and my mother's family is
all Church of Christ. So I in some way I
have empathy for the situation. I understand, I at least
understand it to some degree. Not I don't understand your life,
(33:28):
but I understand the dynamic of Church of Christ and
Baptist Church Southern Baptist. So as we as we dive
into this, I want to say, first and foremost, you
are called biblically to be the spiritual leader of your household.
This is not in some dominating, dominating way, This is
(33:51):
not in some oppressive way. But you are called from
the Bible to lead the family spiritually. And when you don't,
when you don't step into what you were called to
do as a man, problems happen. And so then you
come to the podcast and you say, look, I have
a problem, and I want to make sure and that's okay,
(34:12):
and we'll talk through it, but I want to make
sure before I get into it. I want to make
sure I'm showing you where the problem came from. Like
here it is Ben, Look this, I want you to
make sure you know where the source of the problem is.
The source of the problem. Is you not stepping into
the spiritual leader of the household that the Bible has
called you, not granger, not someone on YouTube, but what
(34:33):
God has called you to step into as a man,
as the spiritual leader of your house saying this is
where we're going to go to church, this is how
we're gonna pray, this is how we're gonna worship. And
we've already gone down a road here that it feels
(34:56):
like that's in serious jeopardy, So here we are. I
also want to point out second thing I want to say.
And I hear this all the time. It's not your fault,
but the idea of I don't want to pick a side.
I just want to honor God and mote with my
life and follow him. That sounds so beautiful, Ben, I'm
so glad that that's how you feel. And I feel
(35:16):
the same way. But when we start getting into the
practical outworking of that, I have to say, well, okay, Ben,
well what does baptism look like? And you say it
looks like this granger? And I say, well, what is
taking the Lord's Supper look like? And you say it
looks like this? And I say what does a band
in a church look like? And you say this? And
(35:36):
I say what does salvation look like? According to you?
And you say like this. And by the time we
answer ten or twelve questions, you're in a denomination, you know,
And so you have to understand that, as much as
it sounds amazing to just I don't want to pick
a denomination. That's what you're saying when you say side,
I don't want to pick a denomination. I just want
(35:57):
to follow God. And honor him with my life. I say, wonderful,
that's amazing. But everyone has certain things that have a
proclivity of being in a denomination. If you say I
don't ever want drums in church, I don't think drums
belong in church, then you've identified something in your personality
that's leaning somewhere. If you say baptism should be total immersion,
(36:20):
or if you say baptism should be sprinkling babies, you've identified,
either way some aspect of a denomination of people that
you agree with. Now, let me say that there are
four core fundamental elements pillars that you have to agree with.
No matter what denomination you believe, you have to believe
(36:42):
four core things. Number one, you have to believe that
God exists as one being and three persons one mind,
three beings, excuse me be three persons, one being, Father, Son,
Holy Spirit. That is the doctrine of the trinity. That
(37:04):
is something we see throughout all sixty six books of
the Bible. Over and over we see God has revealed
himself in three persons, one being three different roles, Jesus
and John seventeen is praying to the Father. He is
in a submitted submissive role to the Father. Jesus is,
(37:26):
and Jesus is not the Father, and the Father is
not the Son, and the Spirit is not either of them.
But all three of them have the same essence. They
are the same being. And we see this played out
in many different ways. In the beginning was the Word,
and the word was with God, and the word was God.
He was in the beginning with God, so we see.
(37:48):
And then a few verses later and the Word became flesh.
We see this played out in so many ways in
the Bible. We have to understand that the trinity is
something we do not ever doubt or disagree with, or
you are not a Christian. Number two, Jesus is fully man,
(38:09):
fully God, fully man, full divinity, fully human. We have
to understand the aspect of Jesus in his personhood was
fully man and fully God. Number three, we have to
we have to agree that you're saved in salvation. You're
(38:31):
saved by grace through faith, not by works. That is fundamental.
You're saved by grace and not by works. Ephesians two
eight is going to say, for it's by grace. You've
been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing.
It's the gift of God, not a result of works,
so that no man may boast if you disagree with
(38:57):
that it in any way. If you think that, well
it it also has to do with what you do
to get into heaven, then you're not a Christian. And then, finally,
and this doesn't have to be in any kind of order, Finally,
you have to believe in the inerrancy of the Bible,
and the Bible alone. The Bible is God breathed, all scriptures,
(39:18):
breed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof,
for correction, and for training and righteousness, that the Man
of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
The Bible is perfectly inspired by the Holy Spirit. It
is God's word, and it is complete, and it's cannon
that was passed down to us saw sixty six books.
Those are the four main pillars. If you disagree with
(39:40):
any of the four, you're not a Christian. And so
whenever we branch off from denominations, we have to understand
that it's okay to disagree about drums and church. So
it's okay to disagree about pews or chairs. It's okay,
although kind of frightening to disagree about worshiping on Saturday
(40:02):
or Sunday, heavily lean on Sunday. And there's a lot
of things that would heavily lean on. You know, it's
okay to disagree about baptism, sprinkling or total immersion. But
even though I totally would lean into total submersion. But
but that doesn't jeopardize your faith as a Christian. It's
(40:24):
it's within let me say it this way, it's within
the bounds. It's within the boundaries of being a Christian.
You could there is room to disagree with a lot
of things, a lot of things, but the four pillars
you cannot, I'll say more time. The Trinity, the full
humanity and divinity of Christ, the innerancy of Scripture, the
Bible being the only revealed word of God and the
(40:46):
only way we know truly how God has revealed himself
to us, not through prophets, not through modern revelation, but
only through the Word. And then lastly, salvation is from
grace by faith alone in Christ. Knowing that, brother, I
(41:09):
hurt for you that it's gone this far as you
have literally this is this is what's happened. You've submitted
to your wife to make her happy. You said, I
did it to make her feel comfortable. I submitted to
her authority to make her comfy. And now you're going,
(41:32):
uh oh, I think I'm messed up. So let's let
that be known. That's where the problem originated from. And
I promise you if it's the other way around, if
it's done biblically, she's so much happier. She's actually way
more comfortable when you step into the role that you're
(41:52):
called to be, and it allows her to step into
the role that she has been called to be, and
then both of you are just so much more comfortable.
We see this played out all around us all the time.
So I think I could leave it there, and I
think I could say, brother, I wish you the best.
And I also would say this, let me finish with this,
(42:14):
and probably shouldn't say it, but I'll say it because
I have experienced a lot of experience with Church of
Christ with my family. But they will say that they
are the only church. I've heard Pentecostals say this as well.
Of course Catholics say it, Church LDS says it. But
(42:37):
if you hear people start saying things like this is
the only church you go to, any other church, it's
the wrong church. Everyone else is going to hell, but
this church. If you hear that, that becomes weird. Remember
the four pillars. I told you the four pillars are
what's going to matter and anything else. If you start
hearing this is the only church, I start worrying about that.
And the Church of Christ says that than Baptist Church
(43:00):
does not ever say that. There was no way any
of us should be so arrogant to say that we
have the only right church as long as you're following
the four pillars, Trinity, divinity, humanity of Christ, an erranty
of Scripture, and salvation through faith by grace in Christ alone. Okay,
(43:21):
Well in there, Love you guys. If you have a question,
email podcast at grangersmith dot com. And I have a
lot more I could have gotten to today, but I think
I hold it. I'll hold it right there and we'll
see y'all next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the
Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little
(43:44):
like button and notification spell so that you never miss
anytime I upload a video, Yigi
Host
Granger Smith
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