September 5, 2022 • 50 mins
It’s "The Rookie" Week and Ros and Eric’s good friend actress/singer Melissa O’Neil is here!! Needless to say this conversation could go anywhere, especially when Melissa turns the tables asking Ros and Eric questions about their relationship.
Stuff like…love language, red flags and whether their dogs watch them do it.
It’s a good time to learn things about them that even they didn’t know about themselves.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is, he said, with Eric Winter and Rosalind santev
all Right, we're fat with a new episode of he said,
adamos everybody or the Rookie fans. I've been waiting for
(00:22):
this moment. This is like, this is Rookie Week. Our
guest today is a dear friend. Melissa O'Neill plays Lucy
Chen on The Rookie. Thank you for having me. We're
so happy to have you here with us, so much
to talk about. You have a bag of goodies, which
(00:42):
makes me nervous because I probably brought mushrooms. No, No,
I didn't bring mushrooms. But here's the thing. I feel
like tobacco. I didn't. Right, I did bring tobacc but
it's a gift for later, not the camera. But no,
what I brought is we've talked about it so many times,
and you know, I think that when you go to
someone's home for the first time, you shouldn't show up
(01:03):
empty handed. That's like a good world to have, and
I thought that it would be really fun, No No,
to share together some macuna. I brought the jar that
you you gave for my birthday, premade mccuna. It's also
(01:25):
got rash and Shila Jeet and cacao and maka. So
these mushrooms are like I brought cups. Okay, So if
you can hold that this is from an incredible company
that I love very much in l a called Moon Juice,
and some of my favorite sheets are from there. And
this was not you making this is because actually buy
it that I got for Eric and I got you guys,
(01:47):
these two, so you can share that for later. I'm
going to start right now. You should start eating right now. Yes,
moon Juice. If there's one thing you have to say,
you have to tell that the listeners what is our
macuna stories? So they put everything into context. You're right,
you're the first one that's gotten rose high on something.
I'm sure that's not true. I got her drunk for
(02:10):
the first time. I got her high on malibu rum
with pineapple juice when we first met. So she got
drunk on that. But you've got her high on monk bean,
isn't it. This is mccuna. It's a bean. It's not
a monk bean bean, is it. It's it's it's similar.
It's in the cacao family um but it has al dopa,
(02:32):
which is the precursor to dopamine, which is like that
happy neural transmitter. And so that's what you guys are
going to love these treets. They're very healthy. Yeah, just
called a chocolate chocolate you haven't had that. You're gonna
love that one. I need to put rosal. So she's
happy all the time. I am happy all the time.
What are you talking about? I just expressed happy to
(02:53):
different from you. Right, you're eating a donut. Doesn't care
about it. I love this. Oh wow, we treats. We
got mcna Melissa for the listeners. You know on the
rookie she is like our shaman. She is like the
rookie shamans what she is, right, I mean, she's kind
(03:14):
of like the rookie shaman. She knows everything about potions, plants, uh, forest, forest, treats.
I don't know everything by any lives by a very
large spiritual We all live a spiritual you know, God
for us and beans, but like she lives through a
(03:35):
journey through life that's on a higher plane than I think.
It's beautiful. I can wrap my head around sometimes realm
is that realm? YEA wait? Wait, hello yours? Oh my goodness,
m h really good, So thank you choose meliss o'neion. Yes,
(04:03):
let's first start with your past. Did you know? I mean,
first of all, the accolades with you are impressive. She
won Canadian Idol one Canadian Idol remind you Broadway actress
on TV? Your whole life? Did you know you wanted
to be a performer? No. I had some really amazing
(04:27):
teachers growing up, and I truly thought I was going
to be a teacher. You know, when you have people
that are just so amazing in your life, You're like,
if I could be half of what you are to me,
I would be doing well. And I think my parents
used to think that I was just like screaming in
the basement when I would get upset, I was singing.
And when Canadian Idol came around, they were auditioning at
(04:48):
um the pen growth Settled Home, which is where all
the hockey games were played, and I my dad really
wanted to go there. We never had money, so we
didn't get to check out any hockey games, and he
was like, you're always yelling you want to go audition
And from that point on, like life was completely different.
And even up until this job, I have felt like
there's been kind of a wind blowing me to different places.
(05:11):
Like I wouldn't have chosen to move to Los Angeles
had I not booked this job, I wouldn't have chosen
to move to New York to pursue acting here. You
wouldn't have done that. No, I don't think so. And
I even had a manager that was like, come down here, Like,
I'm not going to chase a gig. You know, if
a gig shows up and I moved down there, then
it will be clear that that's where I'm supposed to be.
And and and here I am, well, yeah, do you
(05:33):
like Os Angelous or is not your gem? I think
that it's been as interesting time to be in Los Angeles.
You know. I moved here and I was really busy,
and then I got engaged, and I was really immersed
in a very specific kind of community. And then the
pandemic hit and almost everyone that I'm around, they're like married,
they have family, they have kids, or they're like on
the steps towards that. And I'm of that age range
(05:56):
where everybody's kind of already immersed in their life. And
I up rooted into a different city. So it's it's
a beautiful place, isn't any friends. That's not true. It
didn't mean it like that. I don't know anything. I said,
you have a lot of friends, you have a good
handle in her new community here. Yeah, but you know
a lot of them. I guess are like older than
(06:16):
you a lot of your friends. I don't mind that.
Most of my friends are much older than me. I
don't Yeah, I guess you're more of a homebody anyways.
Like you're not like you know the nightlife in l A.
How could you even do that during the pandemic? True,
I wouldn't have died anyways. I'm not like that. That's
true too. So you didn't chase the dream of coming
down here. It happened for you. Um with this show
(06:39):
going after Idol? Did I don't know how does? How
does that work? Are there like things like audition for
Idol and you were like I want to go do that?
Or did somebody say you need to go do that
for idol? Yeah? Yeah, that was my dad. He just
wanted to take me there. He's want to take you
there to go, just give it a go so he
could go, so he could go see the saddle though,
and then he became the young believe that they believe
(07:00):
you could you have the potential to win it. They
got going. I guess, yeah, when you get clicked that
you had the potential to win it, did you always
do you have the potential to win it? Or did
there like a moment you're like, I got a real
shot here. The only moment that I made a decision
that I was like, I want this to be different
is when I heard the song. I heard the song
for the first time, when I got excited, and I
remember leaving and I said to my dad, oh no.
(07:20):
We got back into the conser the final song that
they write, and I remember getting back into the car
and all of the other contestants were there, and I
was like sixteen, and I was just like, guys, I
really want to win, and everyone kind of was like, yeah,
me too, I want to win too. It was really
but it was like, when I think back, it was
like such an innocent moment and it felt like that,
UM a lot in my path where things will just
(07:43):
kind of be clear, like oh, now I'm going to
go do this. And I imagine, I mean you're both
intuitive people. Imagine you guys have that feeling as well,
where it's like I just know it's going to go
or I know this is going to be my job.
I know that my life is moving in that direction. Um,
so I have a proposal. How do you guys feel
about Like I know that guests could it's good to
talk with the guests about their stuff, but I also
kind of like had questions. Okay, Rosamy are both like
(08:07):
dog lovers. I know Eric's dog lover too, but you
and are kind of like obsessive of the difference, a
different level of dog loving you and me. And yeah, yeah,
and so my question just so we can I'm just
gonna like crack and break the e's really hard. Do
you guys let the dogs stay in the bedroom when
you guys are being intimate? Yes, yeah, the no, no
(08:28):
on the bed. But you know what's funny. We used
to have Jack. He would get way to like excited. Yes,
Jack is was a coker. Span was competing with me,
will get so horny? What like were like desperate, like
panic attack, Yes, like you wanted to protected, like protective
(08:51):
of you. I don't think I don't know what it was,
but we're like, oh my god, Jack, stop stop stop.
It really hard to focus on Jack and then like
try to stay in the moment and like try and
enjoy it as a male in particular, a lot of Okay,
will you ever believe? And I started, I don't know
(09:13):
am I making this song? Was it a dream? I
think it was true. I mean, Miami, I would used
to travel with my dogs everywhere, right, any joke, they
will travel with me. I mean, Miami, this will tell
And I'm not joking. Jack. There was a rock that
was I don't know how to say. It's some material straw,
like a straw straw like jute, I don't know what.
(09:34):
I don't know what, okay, like organic And he was like, lane,
legs are back like in a really funny position and
he's rubbing, rubbing, robbing, robbing, robbing, robbing, and I'm like,
we're laughing on it? Is not Is it possible that
(09:56):
he's actually like masturbating having class? And he ejaculately. I
wasn't ready for you. It was really the I witnessed
that with my own eyes with horny Jack. Wow, so
yeah they are And we have to put Jack like
heat had to be. It was, yeah, you couldn't have it.
(10:18):
Next question, And the dogs now are in the room
and band not so much, but he has cocker also
maybe it's a cocker spaniel thing. And he also kind
of like looks and he's kind of like he's out.
He's like, Mom doesn't seem to be in distress. She
she's not freaking out. The sheets could cur less. He's
he's just like he's older, right, Oh yeah, that's not
(10:42):
their um. Okay. So the other question that I came
with was, Wow, sorry, I didn't mean to go there.
I'm wondering if you guys could do a do over,
and I need to I need to concede here that
this is actually a question from my neighbor because I
was like, I'm going to this thing tomorrow. I want
to ask them questions, and she's like, you should than this, okay.
And her question was, if you guys could do over
(11:04):
your first date together, Okay, what would you do over?
I know and and and you know, I know there's
the realm where you're like, I wouldn't do anything over
because it's us here today, but if you could, I
don't remember. We don't probably have what was the first
all right, because you guys were like from friends. We
didn't really have an official first date. We had a
(11:25):
first getaway, which is taking to Mammoth. No, Palm Springs
was first. Mammoth was first. I took you to Mammoth
with the dogs, with all my dogs. I said, I'll go,
but but I have my three dogs. That is the
condition always. Yes, I'll go anywhere, but you need to
like what do you mean? And I said, I'm not
going to leave for a weekend without the dogs. I'm
so sorry. So have you comfortable I'll be there if
(11:46):
now that we can go, And I know that we
were probably like crazy stress. Yeah, I was every time
we leave, and I make sure we're gonna put them.
And then the second day that we went away, it
was the Palm Springs and this was funny. So the
same thing. So we need to find I want to
be at the parker of the parker excepts dogs. So
we're fine. So he's mortified because I'm taking three dogs
and do at this time too, we had four dogs
(12:09):
and Morocco wasn't around us three. It was three four
Jack Mota and and I'll never forget because he's and
I'm sure you don't know this by now. Eric is
like a stress case. You know, everything is like like that, right,
instead of just chill. It's not that big of a deal.
So we get to we freaking get to work. That
only at is not I think between the two of us,
(12:32):
I'm the one that gets like kind of tight, yeah,
tied into the collar. I yeah, I like things. I'm particular.
She's the one that gets more stressed. Yeah, especially if
like the lions don't make sense, like I wanted to
make sense and something's like it's fine, it's not fine. Okay,
so the house is a stress Okay, Okay, I'm the
one saying it's it's chill. Yeah. Anyways, he has like
what want speed the house? Anyways, so we get we
(12:57):
get we get to the hotel. It's night, so it's dark,
and then he got a room that the patio had
like this big field it was so it was all
this grass right, beautiful. It's perfect for dogs because they
can do whatever. Right. So we get to the place
and he wants them to have on a leash, and
I'm like, this is a beautiful property. There's a lot
(13:19):
of grounds. Let them be them. So we get we
chicken at the thing. I opened the lighting door for
them to go and go party, right, So they go
party and they immediately it's dark all over the place,
and I'm like, but okay, I'm gonna get up early
in the morning before anybody gets and I'm going to
(13:41):
clean it up. It's okay, I can't see right now
where I'll do it tomorrow morning. He died because because
it in the grass and people were walking out of
their back it was our area. Nobody was it was
it was it was grass that nobody was in that
nobody was around here. That led to that was it
was anyone actually going to go outside at that note.
(14:04):
It was late the first thing in the morning. We
want to sleep in, set up and do anything. But
the guy is like, really likes you if he will
go and pick up the women did because you really
like her because she says do it. And then it's
like and it's like ten in the morning, man, just
(14:25):
before kids. You just sleep in the morning. People are
going out to enjoy the pool stepping. Okay, maybe I
got upout town because I knew you picked it up already.
If I knew that was still there, I would have it.
I'm not going to and it was that's when I
realized he's a little intense, and that's when I realized
she's not doing anything that she says she's going to do.
She's not picking up amazing, So I guess we can
(14:50):
redo that moment not bringing the dogs never here's the redo.
I wouldn't stress out about the dogs pooping and she
would get her butt up in the morning, love exactly.
That's an amazing redo. This prompted another conversation to her
(15:12):
and true Um on our show. Have this whole thing
about like, Okay, hey, if you have what would be
your red flag if a friend were to ask me
about dating you, what would your personal red flag be
that you'd be like, oh, this might be a red
flag for somebody else. We're trying to access out like
are we each as individuals aware of our own things?
(15:32):
And it was very hard, like I was trying to
I know, this is what Eric. Eric's like. Eric's like,
I think I think I'm too helpful, you know, Like
I'm just like, I'm just I really do things for
people too much, I said, And I volunteered myself a
beautiful thing. You don't think So I got I gotta
ask my wife. She's gonna say I'm controlling that I
(15:52):
do too much. I don't. I just don't let her
be I don't tell that you do too much. That
means I don't have to do it. I'm yeah, no, no,
I hear what she's saying, do too much, but don't
control me. Don't it's differently or don't expect what the
tight rope of what you're doing, Eric. Eric does a
lot of things, which is incredible. It's a beautiful testament
of your character. But then he doesn't practical service. Appreciate it,
(16:16):
appreciation information the love language you like to receive, because
obviously your love life doesn't tell Eric, don't do things
expecting anything. I expecting to thank you. No, you expect
everything so that he expect to thank you and more. No,
I just I just want to appreciate it. Now, Oh
my god, I just want to be rewarded. That's going
(16:42):
to freak out. He loves I want to be rewarded
with its very similar Bradford, my whole life. I all
I want to do is be appreciated. No, I just
want the big thank you or like, I appreciate you,
thank you for taking this out, recognize all the work
I do. I have no problem doing it. I don't
expect it all the time. I just so anyways that
(17:04):
I thought that was my red flag that you're gonna
say like I'm too controlling? Is that you? I don't
know that I give too much, that I insert myself
too much. Probably when I asked you, do you express
gratitude a lot? Like? Is that something that yeah, you you?
Oh my god, thank you all the time. Oh my god,
I say thank you sorry all those things? Are you
(17:24):
kidding all the time? An example, who says thank you more?
I don't know there's an answer that's an answer of
I'm not going to say you says I'm sorry more.
I don't know exactly I I win that. Okay, So
what's your red flag? I don't know what's my red flag?
That's the game. I can't tell you what you're never
(17:50):
thought about my red flag? Am I? I don't know?
Am I ungrateful? O? Wait? But let's so think about
it this way. If you were your friend and you're like, yo,
Roslin's awesome, it's just you should be careful about this.
This is just like one thing. She's amazing, she's she's
an amazing person. A little moody, she's a little moody.
(18:12):
That's your moody. Oh my flag, the most benign red
flag of all her red flags that she could pick.
That's sweet, it's sweets. Not every guy is tolerant of women,
exactly true. I don't know it was my red flag,
(18:35):
don't you can't wait to tell me? Wasn't? I cannot wait, said, man,
I have so many I do, but my red flags.
I used to have a bad temper. I used to
I'm very moody in a lot of different ways, and
sometimes I think, but right now, my big red flag
(18:57):
is like I go into crisis mode. So I'm like
a stay thinker. Like at the first sign of trouble,
a part of my consciousness is like, this isn't working,
and that's really hard. It's hard to be in partnership
with someone who's constantly jumping ship, you know. Um, So
I definitely think that's one of my red flags. And
then I think the other big red flag is I'm
not sure if I'm totally available in my heart to receive.
(19:21):
That's a massive red flag. It's not like outwardly, wow,
that's a huge conversation. Come on, I will talk about
our history, our parents, but no, I it's something that
I'm working on and a big part of all of
the stuff that I get involved with, all of the
healing work that I'm interested in doing, is to investigate
(19:41):
that and like try to unravel it so I can
be in a natural state, which for everyone is loving
and being receptive to love. But it's hard to do that.
Have you ever done something called constellation? Oh? Family, constellation work? No?
No of it? Yeah? Yeah, that's exciting. I can't wait. Yeah,
And I recommend you to watch a show on Netflix
(20:03):
from Turkey, Turkish show called Another Self that explains to
you in a very so babe because it's a TV show,
you know. I think it's eight or ten episodes. The
girl is gorgeous, the leady girl, um three best friends.
They have all kinds of issues and they're trying to
navigate life and understand why why did I get cancer
and it's terminal when I'm the healthiest person in the world.
(20:26):
Why am I so unlocking love? You know? Why I'm
why I have so many troubles And it's a lot
of times what people don't know is that it's ancestral
from your past. Your subconscious knows because it's like a
little black box inside your head that we can tap
up your subconscious time and unless you do the work
(20:48):
like a constellation type of thing, you will go through
life having all kinds of issues that you cannot solve.
But once you have the awareness of, oh, the has
happened to my mom's breaking second end? You know what
I mean? Like whatever, mushrooms. There's many different pathways. There's
(21:09):
many pathways. I'm almost done with the series. I actually
enjoy it, you know, and it's fascinating. Do you know
the group that you're going to be going in with? People? Know? Oh,
it's called representatives. I don't know them. It's a group
of people that she is comfortable with. Um, I'm petrified,
but I'm incredibly excited about this. You're nything. It's like
(21:31):
zero zero zero no. I mean you know, I don't
think no zero. I don't think no no no no.
I don't constellation work doesn't work with psychedelics. Um. Yeah,
but but yeah, there are so many different The family
work that I've done has been with Hoffman process because
I think Hoffman process UM is a method. Over the
course of twelve days you go into really deep like
(21:53):
kind of from I don't know, like six to nine um,
where you do really really deep work around your family members.
And the idea is that everything we do in life
is to gain and receive love, and the ways that
we learn how to gain and receive love is either
by mimicking our primary caregivers, our moms and our dads,
or whoever was our primary character, to essentially be like,
(22:14):
I love you, I'm going to be just like you,
so you love me too, or we rebel and we'll
be like what you do hurts me, I'm gonna be
nothing like you, so you know how much you've hurt me,
so then you'll love me. But what that means is
that we have a very specific and limited idea and
way and pathway to gain and receive love because there's
(22:35):
so many ways to walk and be in the world,
and if you're only operating off of that specific set
of patterns, then that's all you've got. So this program,
after a lot of paperwork at the beginning of diving
into your family history, you identify all these patterns, You
identify how you're either rebelling or mimicking, and then you
kind of undo that stuff because you can't step into
(22:56):
sovereignty and out of unconscious behavior until you bring your
unconscious into your awareness right, and so a big part
of that is like just doing that work, unraveling it
and really healing your relationship with those people. So you're
not carrying it forward. That doesn't mean you're not going
to still have the wound that you suffered during that time,
(23:16):
but you're no longer pointing at that person and being
like you did this turn. So it's a beautiful process.
Can I do something? I'm going through this process because
of this lady. She did something. As it was, it
was a zoom kind of session. He makes one of everything,
and if I want to share it, he thinks it's ridiculous.
He's actually kind of like Chinese in a lot of ways,
because a lot of Chinese people are like, oh that's
(23:38):
woo woo. It's it's too silly, as it's like it's
too too, too too. Anyway, stood on a piece of
paper and the energy of the paper told her something
was good or bad. This is something that you will
like muscle testing of course. Yeah, right there you go. Okay,
can you leave this and you don't have to be
(24:01):
you don't have to be part of this podcast anymore
stuff because I'm starting a podcast with Melissa that it's
going to call who do and will solve your life?
And I'm with moon Juice and it's gonna call moon
Juice Juice. I don't know how to say. It's said,
(24:26):
that's cool, moon ju Anyways, anyway, dig diggie, I'm going
through this thing and this lady was has been so
incredible because I started talking about she's of course asking me,
asking about my past and my history and my relationship
with my family, but I wanted to tap into my
relationship with my daughter. Got a lot of times I'm
(24:47):
at a loss, very quiet. Things are developing the way
they are, that's amazing, amazing. And this woman, the sected me,
is that a word? Yeah? In two seconds based on
what I said to her about my relationship with my
mom growing up, and she's like, if you can describe
(25:09):
what you feel when you think about your mom? Was
the first thing that comes to mind, and I didn't
have an answer. Mhmm. After a long pause, she's like,
she didn't do this, but intuitively, this is what I
think it is. And then she said the word and
I passed out and everything was passed out. No, no,
not like I would just were struck us. That clar clarifying.
(25:38):
The best part about the best conversation is that because
in Melissa's world, of all of the test that she does,
passing out could actually happen, like, yeah, yeah, that happens.
That happens sometimes she passed out, So that's the best part.
But in her world that's just how she speaks. Even
our kids are like, oh, I ate this food. I
(25:58):
passed out. Anyways I learned, I was like, oh my god,
my entire everything makes sense. It was so elemental and
easy to digest. And I was like brutal her fully embarrassing.
But I was like, okay, so she is mean and me.
(26:25):
She's doing to me what I did to my mom.
The difference is I never had the will or the
guts to tell my mom this is how I feel
and this is what I think about you. Why. That's
also the days, the days of parenting right when we
were growing up. You don't do that because you just empowerment, Like, oh,
(26:49):
I can kind of say what I want. Can I
tell you I'm not really getting spanked, you might just
take something away. Can I tell you something crazy? And
I haven't even started doing the work, you know what
I mean? She just identified this thing, and I was like,
oh my god, it makes sense. He started explaining things.
I started thinking about my relationship with Sabby, which sometimes
it's listen, it's beautiful. She's my daughter. This girl's next level, right,
(27:10):
but she's strong with me. And now I realized it's
it's she's me. It looks like me, walks like me,
talks like me. You know, I don't see it, but
if I really look at it, I just go, it's me. Um,
maybe she can tell you what your red flags are.
Probably yeah, I think she would in a heartbeat, she would.
(27:32):
Anyways that happened, And Sebbie, I don't know if you
have noticed this. Right, We're going to continue because we
bought heads a lot, you know. Um, but I can
be sitting down. When was it yesterday? She came from
tennis right just down on your lap. She gave you love.
She walked in, she came over. I'm eating no, and
(27:54):
she comes over. She gets very close to me. She
put her whole body on top of me, basically ugging her.
And I didn't say anything because I don't want her
to feel like I don't don't don't at all. But
I was like, I was like, I don't remember her
doing this unless I said, come over here, give mommy hug,
(28:16):
and I didn't hug so bad. They're don't give a
hug mommy, please. You know, I'm always reaching and trying,
and this time he just came out of nowhere and
she was so loved and she's been so loving and
so like my friend, my buddy. She has a lot
really weird and I just go crazy. How spiritual work,
uh changes everything? Yeah, it's insane, it's really I wouldn't
(28:37):
you know in that conversation, and I won't go all
the way into that because it might be a different,
different podcast, But the fact that you've taken the initiative
to to start this type of healing process, and in
the astral you've basically made this sole agreement like, hey,
I'm interested in changing this pattern. I'm interested in doing
(28:57):
the work and being a different kind of person for
my lineage, for my daughter so that she can be
different with her children. Like that is massive, massive work
that you're doing, and it would not at all be
beyond the realm of comprehension to see how her soul
would have a recognition of that and be softening to
you for some reason that has nothing to do with
(29:18):
what you're actually doing with her in the moment. It's
so cool, and you know, you didn't share what that
woman spoke about as far as what she was recognizing
in you. And I just hope that the piece whatever
that was that you're feeling embarrassed about. I hope that
you can be gentle on yourself and like there's no
shame in anything that we experience. And my mom and
(29:39):
I had like a crazy, crazy relationship and a big
thing for her because she ran away from home when
she was like eighteen, and her mom basically cursed her
and was like, you're going to have a daughter, and
you're going to suffer the way I suffered when you
left me like this. And sure enough, I was a
big fat accident and I left home when I was seventeen.
I was gone and just like it wasn't even a
(29:59):
Converse station and my mom just was like I knew
this was going to happen. It was like devastating. Um, Yeah,
families are a trip. It's so cool that you're doing
that work. It's so hard for this morning, and all
we talked about was family. Really, Yeah, director, we just
had the one that we started talking about the Eight
Dates book she's actually read as well. Okay, is it
(30:21):
worth it? Yeah? Yeah, it's so. I mean, I think
all of this stuff from Gottman is really useful, especially
because for those of us who are like really critical
thinkers and who want empirical data. It's all They're like,
they've been studying relationships in so many different settings for
the better part of I think it's like two decades
at this point. And they did you tell her the
(30:42):
part of how they predict divorce. They can predict divorce
with like almost a percentile of accuracy. Isn't that crazy?
Like an actual science for love? So she had the
director of for Tea, which she's been dying to do
a t for you guys for us. So what is
that teething? Okay, so tea gathering in the way that
(31:02):
I've been studying it. I love tea, and I want
to like just briefly say that I know very little
about it and very early in my journey, but I
love sharing this leaf. It's a plant medicine. It's Carnelius
and ensues, and it's a very gentle heart medicine, and
it comes from all of these living tea trees. These
tea trees are like hundreds of years old. They're not
they're not cuttings. Their seed propagated and they've been tended
(31:25):
to by farmers who care about the tarar, which is
like the environment, the rain, the soil, like everything about this.
And so when you imagine having just even think about
the food that you consume when it's being tended to
from the point of German nation of that seed, that
food hits you different. It's like a spiritual experience to
have that kind of a meal. And essentially you sit
(31:46):
in silence together and you drink tea, and for a
lot of people, it's an opportunity to really bring their
awareness and their focus into one thing because it's right
there in front of you and in that spacious and
you can feel how your brain is like churning, like
when was the last time you sat and did nothing
(32:07):
for an hour? Like truly as long as a tea
ceremony into in total, generally generally it can go anywhere
from like forty five minutes on the earlier side to
like ninety minutes um. But a really interesting thing happens
when you're sitting at rest and there's something to focus on,
and then you're bringing in this really gentle plant medicine
(32:28):
into your body. What arises for you to observe is
actually like permitted to be seen because you're not doing
anything else. Like there's actually spaciousness to allow your thoughts
to come up without them being interrupted. Two questions. Is
it like a psychedelic Is it altering your logical system? No,
(32:49):
not at all. I mean unless we were to drink
like a gabba oo long. But and the only way
that would kind of change, you know, gabathenin. Have you
heard of that supplement that's like a natural supplement. You
can buy it at Steve Yes and it kind of
helps your body relax and go to sleep. Um. But
outside of that, like the teas, don't they're not psychedelic
in any way. What do you have to do with people?
If it's just about being silent and looking in when
(33:12):
to be surrounded with people, you don't. I do it
alone a lot. But there's something really special about being
in a group and everyone's sitting together silently, everyone's focused
in their own process, and then the spaciousness that opens
up after sitting together. Think about how everyone is harmonized
(33:33):
on the same frequency. So on the other end of
the spectrum, you have like going to a club or
a bar and everyone's drinking alcohol. Can you imagine being
the one guy that's sober. You're not on the same
frequency as them. And so in a tea set, everyone
kind of gets like deeply rooted into the earth. You
notice your heart space in a big way, and all
of a sudden, you're thinking slower, you're talking slower, you're
moving slower. The stuff that comes up, like people people
(33:57):
like their bodies feel better for some reason. Was a
woman that like just broke down and started crying because
she didn't have pain in her hip for the first
time in a year. Like everyone has their own journey
with it. But um, yeah, that's that's something to discover
for yourself. But it's a very safe space and it's
not at all psychedelic in anyway. So we and then
(34:25):
we're gonna do another podcast and we're gonna do a
t session. It's not going to be that experience because
we're not going to be silent, but we just want
where are we going to be silent? Because we're gonna
people want to hear a stock It's gonna be a
podcast about silence. Oh no, we're not gonna do it. No,
we'll do the t Yeah yeah, okay. No, I thought
it was going to be about like, listen, let's talk
(34:47):
about the experience of like like like she will give
you stories about things that no no, no no, I
mean I won't be here for that episode, but I
don't be really cool, like you can't have you to
do and then we talk about yeah, if you want
to about what happened, all right, now you want to
talk about it, We got to figure out the tea
(35:10):
space and then we'll do much. I'm too hetty and
I'm too like like like impatient. I don't know if
I can sit down for ninety minutes. M Yeah, Eric
was telling you that you were thinking about with with
like maybe potentially meeting with psilocybin. Was that from that
from the Netflix documentary? No. I was fascinated about the documentary.
(35:31):
I'm believing all of it, and I think I just
have I just have an issue with what if I
never come back? What if I come back a month?
So my mind is so altered neurologically or whatever or
subconsciously or spiritually that I just that I just go
on a trip and I don't come back. Where would
(35:53):
you go? I don't know, switch out of space. So
I don't know, I'll go to you know what I
mean that, I just I just feel we're both and
I don't know how to explain it. Very much. Control
freaks when it comes to ourselves. Yeah, it can be
scary to feel like, oh, I'm going to lose myself
and who I am, Like I have no control, like
(36:15):
my mind is telling me. It will freak me out. Well,
that's if you're operating under the assumption that you think
you're already in control of what your mind's telling you.
I think I am red flag. Our friend yesterday we
were at at a photo an interview thing that she
(36:36):
was doing, and I participated everything. He's done the same
as the same as everything. They're probably two peas in
a pod, Joe and her. They've done all the same
stuff in Mexico. He's done IK all that stuff, and
and he was like, oh no, I would not compare
IK the mushrooms. Mushrooms, He's like, they're He's like, that's
just an amazing experience of opening your mind. And he
(36:58):
started speaking very highly of the experience of what it
does to your mind. Yeah, I mean, you know what,
for some people, what's really helpful for them if there's
a curiosity. This is the beautiful thing we were talking
about earlier about how there's so many paths for different people.
Not everyone's feeling called to psychedelics. It's a powerful medicine
and it will alter you. You can't unknown things about
the the mystery of the universe. If I if there's
(37:21):
anything that I feel truly altered about after having engaged
with psychedelics aside from all the healing that I've received,
that I'm really grateful for, is that, oh yeah, the
world is so much more magical and mysterious than I
could have ever possibly have imagined. And I know that
you have a touchstone to that already, and you're like,
I don't need to like see that to know it. Um.
(37:44):
But I would say that psilocybin connects has connected me
to the feeling of pervasive like love, that actually that
experience of God that people talk about is one and
the same with the vibration of what we would the
best word we have for it in English is like
love and peace. Um. And it's through the doorway of
(38:09):
psychedelics that I've had an easeful experience to touch that
and to have an experiential knowing of it as opposed
to just something I've read from a book. Um. But again,
it's not for everybody, and that's okay. It's harder to
avoid now because everyone's talking about it, everyone's doing it.
But I think it's really wise to honor your own intuition.
(38:31):
And a teacher that I love very much, he wants
highlighted for me. Like, it's different if your discernment that
is grounded in your heart is saying no, thank you,
that's not for me, and it's something entirely different if
your body is going I think I'm supposed to do that.
But I'm afraid that's something to investigate, you know, like,
(38:52):
am I operating from a place of fear? What am
I actually afraid of? What? Am I attached from a
place Because if you asked me if we have this
conversation five years ago, I'll be like, absolutely not. My
body is very virgin. I've never done drugs or alcohol
on the smoke. I'm like so clean that I'm not
gonna do anything that's going to alter anything. Yeah. No, Now,
I don't know if it's through life experiences or people
that come into our lives. I'm tired, it's my stomach
(39:20):
need some mushroom right now. But what I'm saying is
like before I was like, no, now I'm not ready.
I'm ready for um constellation. Yeah, I want it, you know,
like I'm so curious about it. Doing mushrooms and doing
things like that, I'll be petrified. But now it's not
like five years ago that I'm going never in my
(39:41):
life that's unnecessary. Right now, I'm going, I wonder if
life it's just you know, when God keeps sending you lifeguards,
you know, and you just I don't know if it's
just God or spirit or whatever you want of my
angels whatever, just going I'm I'm just gonna plant this
little seat over here, and then you're gonna say no,
But maybe the next time that I'm going to plant,
you know. So that's what. I don't know exactly what's happening.
(40:02):
I do know that I'm in this the middle of
this search at almost fifty years all. I don't know
exactly why, right, but I'm learning and I'm open, and
I think is and I think it's amazing, you know,
and anything that you do to elevate your soul in
your life and as a human, I think it's a
it's a beautiful thing. That's why when you make fun
of me, I just go, I'm just to make fun
(40:22):
of you and scan on paper and rock back and forth.
And it was incredible, and you know what's that? You
know what's you know what's what the ladies said, the
meaning of what your body is doing even though you're
not telling your body to do that. This is what's
going to happen with that project because I did project
(40:45):
and she's like, write the name of the products like
an oracular method. Yes, okay, cool, stand on top of
it and then just go to do it completely dual
and duality, you know, and speed center. Nothing happens, and
your body is going to react in a way if
it's grounded. If you don't while you're like holding the
question exactly and you just look at the thing. I'm
not trying to move, and it was like somebody like
a force. Yeah. I became basically waves like that, and
(41:09):
I'm thinking, am I tripping? Like? Am I tripping? I'm
going this is not possible. I'm not trying to move,
you know, And the two things. Exactly what she said
it was going to transpire. You're not even what she
said exactly what the movement said I was going to
transpire is exactly what's happening. Oh, this is a really
beautiful uh parallel, So that feeling that you're talking about
(41:31):
where I'm not doing anything but I'm focused on holding
a question and standing on this paper. And then something
happened that's similar to me structurally as what T spaces.
I'm not going to do anything. I'm just gonna drink
this tea. When the bowl comes in front of me,
I'm gonna pick it up, I'm gonna drink it. I'm
not gonna do anything else. And then and then something happens,
and something enters, you know, not psychedelically that maybe you
(41:57):
have a maybe maybe you'll have not an explanation, but
maybe you'll have an opinion that might help me. When
I came to the city at the beginning um the
first three or four years, I used to go to
this church. It's not a church, it's a congregation called
a gap. I'm sure you know about a gap. I don't.
A gap is like nondenominational. You know, everybody's it's about
it's it's metaphysical and I know it's a beautiful place.
(42:19):
Michael Beckwitz. If you have you seen the secret, the
specialist Secret. She's the African American with the braids, very
well read and incredibly well spoken. So he's the not
a pastor, but he's like the head of the congregation,
the minister. The place is magical, to be honest with you.
The music, I mean the most incredible singers. I mean,
the place is magical. Um, but it's not a Christian place.
(42:43):
It's non denomination, is they They believe in higher power
is the spirit And I used to go um. And
it's crazy because when you go to a gap it
it's almost like whatever the topic they choose, it's like
they're talking to you. It's exactly what you needed to hear.
And it will every song they will be like, how
I heck this motherfucker knows that I needed to hear that,
you know what I mean. It's a weird because I'm
(43:03):
going there. It's exactly what I'm going through, Like mystical
type of thing. I used I have a good friend
from Porto Rigo. He was my hair dresser. Transgender, I mean,
like a very complicated human being that became a born
and Christian stopping a woman who's about to being a
man anyways, but very in tune with spirituality, like dreams
about things, very powerful, but with an incredible fear of
(43:26):
God because you know, like very borning in Christian like Pentecostals.
And I used to go to church with him, and
I was always so overwhelmed about seeing people speaking in
tongues in front of me. I thought that experience was
so freaking surreal. You know, sometimes I'll be like, I'm
gonna laugh, but it was really powerful. Anyways, I'm here
in l A, I'm going through a divorce. I'm freaking miserable.
(43:47):
He comes to isit me right? And I was so
excited to take him to my church? So I want
to take you. Yes, I'm gonna take it to a
cappe is incredible, the music is beautiful. I need you
to come with me. And he was kind of hesitant
because it's like, is a Christian? Is it? Is it?
I'm going well, it's everything. Anyways, I take him halfway
through his all. You know how people that are Pentecostals,
(44:08):
they go to church and they're dressed to the nines.
He looks so beautiful. He was in a suit right um.
And we get there and not even fifteen minutes into it,
he he is a massive headic, massive headic, and he's like,
I need to get up. I need to leave. This
place is not from God. This is the devil tempting.
And I was like, what do you mean? Right? So
(44:29):
we left. Now I'm shaking because I'm going, oh my god,
I'm I doing something wrong. I'm a gon old. Sorry,
I grew up super Catholic sorr regards, you know. I
mean like I love it when I come here. Shortly
after that, I have a dream with Michael Beckwits the
minister that I'm at this big event and he's sitting
down and he goes Rother and then come over here
(44:51):
and he sits me on his lap and starts to
try like trying to touch me and like like finger
like bizarre. And I'm looking at him going what are
you doing? And he goes like, try to say something,
Go say something. Never I believe you. They're not gonna
believe you. They're gonna believe me. Say something. And I
woke up going, oh my god, like a horrible nightmare.
And I couldn't go back to this day to that place.
(45:15):
But I sent you something today about Michael Beckwitz because
I think it's brilliant and he he talks about manifestation
and spirituality. I think he's a brilliant man. I saw
a clip today with him doing an Ellen show talking
so eloquent and so beautiful, and I sent it to
you about manifestation. And I'm so torn because there's a
(45:39):
part of me that will like not to go back
to a gap. I want to study him again because
I think it's at a different level. At that point
in your life, you weren't ready to receive that. But
why do I have a dream so disgusting It was
a long time ago that we may not be able
to finish. That was a very big topic. Well, we're
not going to have a fun You're gonna have to
(46:00):
wrap this up in a different way. But I want to,
like briefly, just like, there are non dual teachings that
are really important, right, And it's important when we're navigating
through our spiritual journeys to be as benevolent, neutral and
aquantumious as possible. Labeling things bad good, that doesn't mean,
that doesn't mean there aren't dark energies out there, or
(46:20):
you can see it as tortured souls. Tortured spirits, right,
who are suffering, and so you know, from a Buddhist perspective,
you want to have compassion for those people. That's another conversation. However,
when beings have accumulated a great deal of spiritual power,
one of the things that I've learned and something I
love about Eastern traditions is that they have a really
stronghold on humility and the importance of it, because as
(46:41):
you gain spiritual power knowledge your there's a righteousness that
comes with it, right, There's a permission that comes with it,
And if a person isn't also anchored in humility, then
the shadow aspect of all of that power can come
into play. I've also like in estigated spiritual lines that
(47:01):
I feel really drawn to and then have terrible dreams
about them and then do research where I'm like, what
the hell is going on here and discover a lot
of darkness and I'm like, I have no interest in
going there, but I received so much from the teachings,
and what I think is a beautiful takeaway is like
people are not perfect. There's always going to be incredible
truth that is flowing through a person. But at the
(47:23):
end of the day, that's human being. Nobody's perfect, but
it's sparked a light of interest in you. You're really
interested in manifestation, that's such a gift. Nobody, including an
imperfect teacher, can take that away from you, this spark
of curiosity, And there are lots of people teaching manifestation.
You don't have to just learn it from him, you know,
(47:43):
And you should explore that because anything that does that
with your heart, that's connected to spirit, that is a recognition,
that's like a soul level recognition, that's your spirit going. Like,
I think that's a tool for me, you know, the
same way that you're like mushrooms constellations like that is
that's obvious that that's for you. You know. I'm sorry,
that's a scary dream and it was. It doesn't mean
it's we're not talking bad about that individual. I don't
(48:06):
know for a incredible yeah, and I think he has
healed and helped thousands of people, you know what I mean, Like,
it's about dream about It was about dream but it's
about dreaming that to this day, I just go I
think about it often I just go, why did he
touch me? It's a weirdest says continue to not say
his name and say he touched you. He did not.
(48:28):
I just didn't have I love this like I just did,
like a Dave Chappelle like anyway, do you have the rookie?
Hashtag chan for Watch Up the River. We premiere on Sunday.
I believe it is what it is, don't cut to
(48:48):
me and uh Melissa mccona, Melissa will. I hope that
you enjoyed your ride where the wind has blown you
under the rookie. Can't wait for the wind to blow
you into my teeth space and then we will be
in your tea space soon, have special We thank you.
(49:09):
We can talk about the Rookie. We will, we want
we will have to talk about the Rookie and part
two and we will follow up with our teeth. Um. Yeah,
they're gonna blame it. Didn't want to talk. You know
where it went off the tracks was when I was like,
you let the dogs in when you're doing it like
you guys like Canadian idles, like no funk that. So
(49:32):
you're having sex, right do you guys? Wow? All right,
with another episode we're having This was great. Until next
time you. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to write us
a review and tell us what you think. If you
want to follow us on Instagram, check goes out at
he said. Was that email Eric and Ross at I
(49:54):
Heard radio dot com, he said, is part of I
Heard Radios mikel podcast net. See you next time now
This is, he said, with Eric Winter and Rosalind santev
all Right, we're fat with a new episode of he said,
adamos everybody or the Rookie fans. I've been waiting for
(00:22):
this moment. This is like, this is Rookie Week. Our
guest today is a dear friend. Melissa O'Neill plays Lucy
Chen on The Rookie. Thank you for having me. We're
so happy to have you here with us, so much
to talk about. You have a bag of goodies, which
(00:42):
makes me nervous because I probably brought mushrooms. No, No,
I didn't bring mushrooms. But here's the thing. I feel
like tobacco. I didn't. Right, I did bring tobacc but
it's a gift for later, not the camera. But no,
what I brought is we've talked about it so many times,
and you know, I think that when you go to
someone's home for the first time, you shouldn't show up
(01:03):
empty handed. That's like a good world to have, and
I thought that it would be really fun, No No,
to share together some macuna. I brought the jar that
you you gave for my birthday, premade mccuna. It's also
(01:25):
got rash and Shila Jeet and cacao and maka. So
these mushrooms are like I brought cups. Okay, So if
you can hold that this is from an incredible company
that I love very much in l a called Moon Juice,
and some of my favorite sheets are from there. And
this was not you making this is because actually buy
it that I got for Eric and I got you guys,
(01:47):
these two, so you can share that for later. I'm
going to start right now. You should start eating right now. Yes,
moon Juice. If there's one thing you have to say,
you have to tell that the listeners what is our
macuna stories? So they put everything into context. You're right,
you're the first one that's gotten rose high on something.
I'm sure that's not true. I got her drunk for
(02:10):
the first time. I got her high on malibu rum
with pineapple juice when we first met. So she got
drunk on that. But you've got her high on monk bean,
isn't it. This is mccuna. It's a bean. It's not
a monk bean bean, is it. It's it's it's similar.
It's in the cacao family um but it has al dopa,
(02:32):
which is the precursor to dopamine, which is like that
happy neural transmitter. And so that's what you guys are
going to love these treets. They're very healthy. Yeah, just
called a chocolate chocolate you haven't had that. You're gonna
love that one. I need to put rosal. So she's
happy all the time. I am happy all the time.
What are you talking about? I just expressed happy to
(02:53):
different from you. Right, you're eating a donut. Doesn't care
about it. I love this. Oh wow, we treats. We
got mcna Melissa for the listeners. You know on the
rookie she is like our shaman. She is like the
rookie shamans what she is, right, I mean, she's kind
(03:14):
of like the rookie shaman. She knows everything about potions, plants, uh, forest, forest, treats.
I don't know everything by any lives by a very
large spiritual We all live a spiritual you know, God
for us and beans, but like she lives through a
(03:35):
journey through life that's on a higher plane than I think.
It's beautiful. I can wrap my head around sometimes realm
is that realm? YEA wait? Wait, hello yours? Oh my goodness,
m h really good, So thank you choose meliss o'neion. Yes,
(04:03):
let's first start with your past. Did you know? I mean,
first of all, the accolades with you are impressive. She
won Canadian Idol one Canadian Idol remind you Broadway actress
on TV? Your whole life? Did you know you wanted
to be a performer? No. I had some really amazing
(04:27):
teachers growing up, and I truly thought I was going
to be a teacher. You know, when you have people
that are just so amazing in your life, You're like,
if I could be half of what you are to me,
I would be doing well. And I think my parents
used to think that I was just like screaming in
the basement when I would get upset, I was singing.
And when Canadian Idol came around, they were auditioning at
(04:48):
um the pen growth Settled Home, which is where all
the hockey games were played, and I my dad really
wanted to go there. We never had money, so we
didn't get to check out any hockey games, and he
was like, you're always yelling you want to go audition
And from that point on, like life was completely different.
And even up until this job, I have felt like
there's been kind of a wind blowing me to different places.
(05:11):
Like I wouldn't have chosen to move to Los Angeles
had I not booked this job, I wouldn't have chosen
to move to New York to pursue acting here. You
wouldn't have done that. No, I don't think so. And
I even had a manager that was like, come down here, Like,
I'm not going to chase a gig. You know, if
a gig shows up and I moved down there, then
it will be clear that that's where I'm supposed to be.
And and and here I am, well, yeah, do you
(05:33):
like Os Angelous or is not your gem? I think
that it's been as interesting time to be in Los Angeles.
You know. I moved here and I was really busy,
and then I got engaged, and I was really immersed
in a very specific kind of community. And then the
pandemic hit and almost everyone that I'm around, they're like married,
they have family, they have kids, or they're like on
the steps towards that. And I'm of that age range
(05:56):
where everybody's kind of already immersed in their life. And
I up rooted into a different city. So it's it's
a beautiful place, isn't any friends. That's not true. It
didn't mean it like that. I don't know anything. I said,
you have a lot of friends, you have a good
handle in her new community here. Yeah, but you know
a lot of them. I guess are like older than
(06:16):
you a lot of your friends. I don't mind that.
Most of my friends are much older than me. I
don't Yeah, I guess you're more of a homebody anyways.
Like you're not like you know the nightlife in l A.
How could you even do that during the pandemic? True,
I wouldn't have died anyways. I'm not like that. That's
true too. So you didn't chase the dream of coming
down here. It happened for you. Um with this show
(06:39):
going after Idol? Did I don't know how does? How
does that work? Are there like things like audition for
Idol and you were like I want to go do that?
Or did somebody say you need to go do that
for idol? Yeah? Yeah, that was my dad. He just
wanted to take me there. He's want to take you
there to go, just give it a go so he
could go, so he could go see the saddle though,
and then he became the young believe that they believe
(07:00):
you could you have the potential to win it. They
got going. I guess, yeah, when you get clicked that
you had the potential to win it, did you always
do you have the potential to win it? Or did
there like a moment you're like, I got a real
shot here. The only moment that I made a decision
that I was like, I want this to be different
is when I heard the song. I heard the song
for the first time, when I got excited, and I
remember leaving and I said to my dad, oh no.
(07:20):
We got back into the conser the final song that
they write, and I remember getting back into the car
and all of the other contestants were there, and I
was like sixteen, and I was just like, guys, I
really want to win, and everyone kind of was like, yeah,
me too, I want to win too. It was really
but it was like, when I think back, it was
like such an innocent moment and it felt like that,
UM a lot in my path where things will just
(07:43):
kind of be clear, like oh, now I'm going to
go do this. And I imagine, I mean you're both
intuitive people. Imagine you guys have that feeling as well,
where it's like I just know it's going to go
or I know this is going to be my job.
I know that my life is moving in that direction. Um,
so I have a proposal. How do you guys feel
about Like I know that guests could it's good to
talk with the guests about their stuff, but I also
kind of like had questions. Okay, Rosamy are both like
(08:07):
dog lovers. I know Eric's dog lover too, but you
and are kind of like obsessive of the difference, a
different level of dog loving you and me. And yeah, yeah,
and so my question just so we can I'm just
gonna like crack and break the e's really hard. Do
you guys let the dogs stay in the bedroom when
you guys are being intimate? Yes, yeah, the no, no
(08:28):
on the bed. But you know what's funny. We used
to have Jack. He would get way to like excited. Yes,
Jack is was a coker. Span was competing with me,
will get so horny? What like were like desperate, like
panic attack, Yes, like you wanted to protected, like protective
(08:51):
of you. I don't think I don't know what it was,
but we're like, oh my god, Jack, stop stop stop.
It really hard to focus on Jack and then like
try to stay in the moment and like try and
enjoy it as a male in particular, a lot of Okay,
will you ever believe? And I started, I don't know
(09:13):
am I making this song? Was it a dream? I
think it was true. I mean, Miami, I would used
to travel with my dogs everywhere, right, any joke, they
will travel with me. I mean, Miami, this will tell
And I'm not joking. Jack. There was a rock that
was I don't know how to say. It's some material straw,
like a straw straw like jute, I don't know what.
(09:34):
I don't know what, okay, like organic And he was like, lane,
legs are back like in a really funny position and
he's rubbing, rubbing, robbing, robbing, robbing, robbing, and I'm like,
we're laughing on it? Is not Is it possible that
(09:56):
he's actually like masturbating having class? And he ejaculately. I
wasn't ready for you. It was really the I witnessed
that with my own eyes with horny Jack. Wow, so
yeah they are And we have to put Jack like
heat had to be. It was, yeah, you couldn't have it.
(10:18):
Next question, And the dogs now are in the room
and band not so much, but he has cocker also
maybe it's a cocker spaniel thing. And he also kind
of like looks and he's kind of like he's out.
He's like, Mom doesn't seem to be in distress. She
she's not freaking out. The sheets could cur less. He's
he's just like he's older, right, Oh yeah, that's not
(10:42):
their um. Okay. So the other question that I came
with was, Wow, sorry, I didn't mean to go there.
I'm wondering if you guys could do a do over,
and I need to I need to concede here that
this is actually a question from my neighbor because I
was like, I'm going to this thing tomorrow. I want
to ask them questions, and she's like, you should than this, okay.
And her question was, if you guys could do over
(11:04):
your first date together, Okay, what would you do over?
I know and and and you know, I know there's
the realm where you're like, I wouldn't do anything over
because it's us here today, but if you could, I
don't remember. We don't probably have what was the first
all right, because you guys were like from friends. We
didn't really have an official first date. We had a
(11:25):
first getaway, which is taking to Mammoth. No, Palm Springs
was first. Mammoth was first. I took you to Mammoth
with the dogs, with all my dogs. I said, I'll go,
but but I have my three dogs. That is the
condition always. Yes, I'll go anywhere, but you need to
like what do you mean? And I said, I'm not
going to leave for a weekend without the dogs. I'm
so sorry. So have you comfortable I'll be there if
(11:46):
now that we can go, And I know that we
were probably like crazy stress. Yeah, I was every time
we leave, and I make sure we're gonna put them.
And then the second day that we went away, it
was the Palm Springs and this was funny. So the
same thing. So we need to find I want to
be at the parker of the parker excepts dogs. So
we're fine. So he's mortified because I'm taking three dogs
and do at this time too, we had four dogs
(12:09):
and Morocco wasn't around us three. It was three four
Jack Mota and and I'll never forget because he's and
I'm sure you don't know this by now. Eric is
like a stress case. You know, everything is like like that, right,
instead of just chill. It's not that big of a deal.
So we get to we freaking get to work. That
only at is not I think between the two of us,
(12:32):
I'm the one that gets like kind of tight, yeah,
tied into the collar. I yeah, I like things. I'm particular.
She's the one that gets more stressed. Yeah, especially if
like the lions don't make sense, like I wanted to
make sense and something's like it's fine, it's not fine. Okay,
so the house is a stress Okay, Okay, I'm the
one saying it's it's chill. Yeah. Anyways, he has like
what want speed the house? Anyways, so we get we
(12:57):
get we get to the hotel. It's night, so it's dark,
and then he got a room that the patio had
like this big field it was so it was all
this grass right, beautiful. It's perfect for dogs because they
can do whatever. Right. So we get to the place
and he wants them to have on a leash, and
I'm like, this is a beautiful property. There's a lot
(13:19):
of grounds. Let them be them. So we get we
chicken at the thing. I opened the lighting door for
them to go and go party, right, So they go
party and they immediately it's dark all over the place,
and I'm like, but okay, I'm gonna get up early
in the morning before anybody gets and I'm going to
(13:41):
clean it up. It's okay, I can't see right now
where I'll do it tomorrow morning. He died because because
it in the grass and people were walking out of
their back it was our area. Nobody was it was
it was it was grass that nobody was in that
nobody was around here. That led to that was it
was anyone actually going to go outside at that note.
(14:04):
It was late the first thing in the morning. We
want to sleep in, set up and do anything. But
the guy is like, really likes you if he will
go and pick up the women did because you really
like her because she says do it. And then it's
like and it's like ten in the morning, man, just
(14:25):
before kids. You just sleep in the morning. People are
going out to enjoy the pool stepping. Okay, maybe I
got upout town because I knew you picked it up already.
If I knew that was still there, I would have it.
I'm not going to and it was that's when I
realized he's a little intense, and that's when I realized
she's not doing anything that she says she's going to do.
She's not picking up amazing, So I guess we can
(14:50):
redo that moment not bringing the dogs never here's the redo.
I wouldn't stress out about the dogs pooping and she
would get her butt up in the morning, love exactly.
That's an amazing redo. This prompted another conversation to her
(15:12):
and true Um on our show. Have this whole thing
about like, Okay, hey, if you have what would be
your red flag if a friend were to ask me
about dating you, what would your personal red flag be
that you'd be like, oh, this might be a red
flag for somebody else. We're trying to access out like
are we each as individuals aware of our own things?
(15:32):
And it was very hard, like I was trying to
I know, this is what Eric. Eric's like. Eric's like,
I think I think I'm too helpful, you know, Like
I'm just like, I'm just I really do things for
people too much, I said, And I volunteered myself a
beautiful thing. You don't think So I got I gotta
ask my wife. She's gonna say I'm controlling that I
(15:52):
do too much. I don't. I just don't let her
be I don't tell that you do too much. That
means I don't have to do it. I'm yeah, no, no,
I hear what she's saying, do too much, but don't
control me. Don't it's differently or don't expect what the
tight rope of what you're doing, Eric. Eric does a
lot of things, which is incredible. It's a beautiful testament
of your character. But then he doesn't practical service. Appreciate it,
(16:16):
appreciation information the love language you like to receive, because
obviously your love life doesn't tell Eric, don't do things
expecting anything. I expecting to thank you. No, you expect
everything so that he expect to thank you and more. No,
I just I just want to appreciate it. Now, Oh
my god, I just want to be rewarded. That's going
(16:42):
to freak out. He loves I want to be rewarded
with its very similar Bradford, my whole life. I all
I want to do is be appreciated. No, I just
want the big thank you or like, I appreciate you,
thank you for taking this out, recognize all the work
I do. I have no problem doing it. I don't
expect it all the time. I just so anyways that
(17:04):
I thought that was my red flag that you're gonna
say like I'm too controlling? Is that you? I don't
know that I give too much, that I insert myself
too much. Probably when I asked you, do you express
gratitude a lot? Like? Is that something that yeah, you you?
Oh my god, thank you all the time. Oh my god,
I say thank you sorry all those things? Are you
(17:24):
kidding all the time? An example, who says thank you more?
I don't know there's an answer that's an answer of
I'm not going to say you says I'm sorry more.
I don't know exactly I I win that. Okay, So
what's your red flag? I don't know what's my red flag?
That's the game. I can't tell you what you're never
(17:50):
thought about my red flag? Am I? I don't know?
Am I ungrateful? O? Wait? But let's so think about
it this way. If you were your friend and you're like, yo,
Roslin's awesome, it's just you should be careful about this.
This is just like one thing. She's amazing, she's she's
an amazing person. A little moody, she's a little moody.
(18:12):
That's your moody. Oh my flag, the most benign red
flag of all her red flags that she could pick.
That's sweet, it's sweets. Not every guy is tolerant of women,
exactly true. I don't know it was my red flag,
(18:35):
don't you can't wait to tell me? Wasn't? I cannot wait, said, man,
I have so many I do, but my red flags.
I used to have a bad temper. I used to
I'm very moody in a lot of different ways, and
sometimes I think, but right now, my big red flag
(18:57):
is like I go into crisis mode. So I'm like
a stay thinker. Like at the first sign of trouble,
a part of my consciousness is like, this isn't working,
and that's really hard. It's hard to be in partnership
with someone who's constantly jumping ship, you know. Um, So
I definitely think that's one of my red flags. And
then I think the other big red flag is I'm
not sure if I'm totally available in my heart to receive.
(19:21):
That's a massive red flag. It's not like outwardly, wow,
that's a huge conversation. Come on, I will talk about
our history, our parents, but no, I it's something that
I'm working on and a big part of all of
the stuff that I get involved with, all of the
healing work that I'm interested in doing, is to investigate
(19:41):
that and like try to unravel it so I can
be in a natural state, which for everyone is loving
and being receptive to love. But it's hard to do that.
Have you ever done something called constellation? Oh? Family, constellation work? No?
No of it? Yeah? Yeah, that's exciting. I can't wait. Yeah,
And I recommend you to watch a show on Netflix
(20:03):
from Turkey, Turkish show called Another Self that explains to
you in a very so babe because it's a TV show,
you know. I think it's eight or ten episodes. The
girl is gorgeous, the leady girl, um three best friends.
They have all kinds of issues and they're trying to
navigate life and understand why why did I get cancer
and it's terminal when I'm the healthiest person in the world.
(20:26):
Why am I so unlocking love? You know? Why I'm
why I have so many troubles And it's a lot
of times what people don't know is that it's ancestral
from your past. Your subconscious knows because it's like a
little black box inside your head that we can tap
up your subconscious time and unless you do the work
(20:48):
like a constellation type of thing, you will go through
life having all kinds of issues that you cannot solve.
But once you have the awareness of, oh, the has
happened to my mom's breaking second end? You know what
I mean? Like whatever, mushrooms. There's many different pathways. There's
(21:09):
many pathways. I'm almost done with the series. I actually
enjoy it, you know, and it's fascinating. Do you know
the group that you're going to be going in with? People? Know? Oh,
it's called representatives. I don't know them. It's a group
of people that she is comfortable with. Um, I'm petrified,
but I'm incredibly excited about this. You're nything. It's like
(21:31):
zero zero zero no. I mean you know, I don't
think no zero. I don't think no no no no.
I don't constellation work doesn't work with psychedelics. Um. Yeah,
but but yeah, there are so many different The family
work that I've done has been with Hoffman process because
I think Hoffman process UM is a method. Over the
course of twelve days you go into really deep like
(21:53):
kind of from I don't know, like six to nine um,
where you do really really deep work around your family members.
And the idea is that everything we do in life
is to gain and receive love, and the ways that
we learn how to gain and receive love is either
by mimicking our primary caregivers, our moms and our dads,
or whoever was our primary character, to essentially be like,
(22:14):
I love you, I'm going to be just like you,
so you love me too, or we rebel and we'll
be like what you do hurts me, I'm gonna be
nothing like you, so you know how much you've hurt me,
so then you'll love me. But what that means is
that we have a very specific and limited idea and
way and pathway to gain and receive love because there's
(22:35):
so many ways to walk and be in the world,
and if you're only operating off of that specific set
of patterns, then that's all you've got. So this program,
after a lot of paperwork at the beginning of diving
into your family history, you identify all these patterns, You
identify how you're either rebelling or mimicking, and then you
kind of undo that stuff because you can't step into
(22:56):
sovereignty and out of unconscious behavior until you bring your
unconscious into your awareness right, and so a big part
of that is like just doing that work, unraveling it
and really healing your relationship with those people. So you're
not carrying it forward. That doesn't mean you're not going
to still have the wound that you suffered during that time,
(23:16):
but you're no longer pointing at that person and being
like you did this turn. So it's a beautiful process.
Can I do something? I'm going through this process because
of this lady. She did something. As it was, it
was a zoom kind of session. He makes one of everything,
and if I want to share it, he thinks it's ridiculous.
He's actually kind of like Chinese in a lot of ways,
because a lot of Chinese people are like, oh that's
(23:38):
woo woo. It's it's too silly, as it's like it's
too too, too too. Anyway, stood on a piece of
paper and the energy of the paper told her something
was good or bad. This is something that you will
like muscle testing of course. Yeah, right there you go. Okay,
can you leave this and you don't have to be
(24:01):
you don't have to be part of this podcast anymore
stuff because I'm starting a podcast with Melissa that it's
going to call who do and will solve your life?
And I'm with moon Juice and it's gonna call moon
Juice Juice. I don't know how to say. It's said,
(24:26):
that's cool, moon ju Anyways, anyway, dig diggie, I'm going
through this thing and this lady was has been so
incredible because I started talking about she's of course asking me,
asking about my past and my history and my relationship
with my family, but I wanted to tap into my
relationship with my daughter. Got a lot of times I'm
(24:47):
at a loss, very quiet. Things are developing the way
they are, that's amazing, amazing. And this woman, the sected me,
is that a word? Yeah? In two seconds based on
what I said to her about my relationship with my
mom growing up, and she's like, if you can describe
(25:09):
what you feel when you think about your mom? Was
the first thing that comes to mind, and I didn't
have an answer. Mhmm. After a long pause, she's like,
she didn't do this, but intuitively, this is what I
think it is. And then she said the word and
I passed out and everything was passed out. No, no,
not like I would just were struck us. That clar clarifying.
(25:38):
The best part about the best conversation is that because
in Melissa's world, of all of the test that she does,
passing out could actually happen, like, yeah, yeah, that happens.
That happens sometimes she passed out, So that's the best part.
But in her world that's just how she speaks. Even
our kids are like, oh, I ate this food. I
(25:58):
passed out. Anyways I learned, I was like, oh my god,
my entire everything makes sense. It was so elemental and
easy to digest. And I was like brutal her fully embarrassing.
But I was like, okay, so she is mean and me.
(26:25):
She's doing to me what I did to my mom.
The difference is I never had the will or the
guts to tell my mom this is how I feel
and this is what I think about you. Why. That's
also the days, the days of parenting right when we
were growing up. You don't do that because you just empowerment, Like, oh,
(26:49):
I can kind of say what I want. Can I
tell you I'm not really getting spanked, you might just
take something away. Can I tell you something crazy? And
I haven't even started doing the work, you know what
I mean? She just identified this thing, and I was like,
oh my god, it makes sense. He started explaining things.
I started thinking about my relationship with Sabby, which sometimes
it's listen, it's beautiful. She's my daughter. This girl's next level, right,
(27:10):
but she's strong with me. And now I realized it's
it's she's me. It looks like me, walks like me,
talks like me. You know, I don't see it, but
if I really look at it, I just go, it's me. Um,
maybe she can tell you what your red flags are.
Probably yeah, I think she would in a heartbeat, she would.
(27:32):
Anyways that happened, And Sebbie, I don't know if you
have noticed this. Right, We're going to continue because we
bought heads a lot, you know. Um, but I can
be sitting down. When was it yesterday? She came from
tennis right just down on your lap. She gave you love.
She walked in, she came over. I'm eating no, and
(27:54):
she comes over. She gets very close to me. She
put her whole body on top of me, basically ugging her.
And I didn't say anything because I don't want her
to feel like I don't don't don't at all. But
I was like, I was like, I don't remember her
doing this unless I said, come over here, give mommy hug,
(28:16):
and I didn't hug so bad. They're don't give a
hug mommy, please. You know, I'm always reaching and trying,
and this time he just came out of nowhere and
she was so loved and she's been so loving and
so like my friend, my buddy. She has a lot
really weird and I just go crazy. How spiritual work,
uh changes everything? Yeah, it's insane, it's really I wouldn't
(28:37):
you know in that conversation, and I won't go all
the way into that because it might be a different,
different podcast, But the fact that you've taken the initiative
to to start this type of healing process, and in
the astral you've basically made this sole agreement like, hey,
I'm interested in changing this pattern. I'm interested in doing
(28:57):
the work and being a different kind of person for
my lineage, for my daughter so that she can be
different with her children. Like that is massive, massive work
that you're doing, and it would not at all be
beyond the realm of comprehension to see how her soul
would have a recognition of that and be softening to
you for some reason that has nothing to do with
(29:18):
what you're actually doing with her in the moment. It's
so cool, and you know, you didn't share what that
woman spoke about as far as what she was recognizing
in you. And I just hope that the piece whatever
that was that you're feeling embarrassed about. I hope that
you can be gentle on yourself and like there's no
shame in anything that we experience. And my mom and
(29:39):
I had like a crazy, crazy relationship and a big
thing for her because she ran away from home when
she was like eighteen, and her mom basically cursed her
and was like, you're going to have a daughter, and
you're going to suffer the way I suffered when you
left me like this. And sure enough, I was a
big fat accident and I left home when I was seventeen.
I was gone and just like it wasn't even a
(29:59):
Converse station and my mom just was like I knew
this was going to happen. It was like devastating. Um, Yeah,
families are a trip. It's so cool that you're doing
that work. It's so hard for this morning, and all
we talked about was family. Really, Yeah, director, we just
had the one that we started talking about the Eight
Dates book she's actually read as well. Okay, is it
(30:21):
worth it? Yeah? Yeah, it's so. I mean, I think
all of this stuff from Gottman is really useful, especially
because for those of us who are like really critical
thinkers and who want empirical data. It's all They're like,
they've been studying relationships in so many different settings for
the better part of I think it's like two decades
at this point. And they did you tell her the
(30:42):
part of how they predict divorce. They can predict divorce
with like almost a percentile of accuracy. Isn't that crazy?
Like an actual science for love? So she had the
director of for Tea, which she's been dying to do
a t for you guys for us. So what is
that teething? Okay, so tea gathering in the way that
(31:02):
I've been studying it. I love tea, and I want
to like just briefly say that I know very little
about it and very early in my journey, but I
love sharing this leaf. It's a plant medicine. It's Carnelius
and ensues, and it's a very gentle heart medicine, and
it comes from all of these living tea trees. These
tea trees are like hundreds of years old. They're not
they're not cuttings. Their seed propagated and they've been tended
(31:25):
to by farmers who care about the tarar, which is
like the environment, the rain, the soil, like everything about this.
And so when you imagine having just even think about
the food that you consume when it's being tended to
from the point of German nation of that seed, that
food hits you different. It's like a spiritual experience to
have that kind of a meal. And essentially you sit
(31:46):
in silence together and you drink tea, and for a
lot of people, it's an opportunity to really bring their
awareness and their focus into one thing because it's right
there in front of you and in that spacious and
you can feel how your brain is like churning, like
when was the last time you sat and did nothing
(32:07):
for an hour? Like truly as long as a tea
ceremony into in total, generally generally it can go anywhere
from like forty five minutes on the earlier side to
like ninety minutes um. But a really interesting thing happens
when you're sitting at rest and there's something to focus on,
and then you're bringing in this really gentle plant medicine
(32:28):
into your body. What arises for you to observe is
actually like permitted to be seen because you're not doing
anything else. Like there's actually spaciousness to allow your thoughts
to come up without them being interrupted. Two questions. Is
it like a psychedelic Is it altering your logical system? No,
(32:49):
not at all. I mean unless we were to drink
like a gabba oo long. But and the only way
that would kind of change, you know, gabathenin. Have you
heard of that supplement that's like a natural supplement. You
can buy it at Steve Yes and it kind of
helps your body relax and go to sleep. Um. But
outside of that, like the teas, don't they're not psychedelic
in any way. What do you have to do with people?
If it's just about being silent and looking in when
(33:12):
to be surrounded with people, you don't. I do it
alone a lot. But there's something really special about being
in a group and everyone's sitting together silently, everyone's focused
in their own process, and then the spaciousness that opens
up after sitting together. Think about how everyone is harmonized
(33:33):
on the same frequency. So on the other end of
the spectrum, you have like going to a club or
a bar and everyone's drinking alcohol. Can you imagine being
the one guy that's sober. You're not on the same
frequency as them. And so in a tea set, everyone
kind of gets like deeply rooted into the earth. You
notice your heart space in a big way, and all
of a sudden, you're thinking slower, you're talking slower, you're
moving slower. The stuff that comes up, like people people
(33:57):
like their bodies feel better for some reason. Was a
woman that like just broke down and started crying because
she didn't have pain in her hip for the first
time in a year. Like everyone has their own journey
with it. But um, yeah, that's that's something to discover
for yourself. But it's a very safe space and it's
not at all psychedelic in anyway. So we and then
(34:25):
we're gonna do another podcast and we're gonna do a
t session. It's not going to be that experience because
we're not going to be silent, but we just want
where are we going to be silent? Because we're gonna
people want to hear a stock It's gonna be a
podcast about silence. Oh no, we're not gonna do it. No,
we'll do the t Yeah yeah, okay. No, I thought
it was going to be about like, listen, let's talk
(34:47):
about the experience of like like like she will give
you stories about things that no no, no no, I
mean I won't be here for that episode, but I
don't be really cool, like you can't have you to
do and then we talk about yeah, if you want
to about what happened, all right, now you want to
talk about it, We got to figure out the tea
(35:10):
space and then we'll do much. I'm too hetty and
I'm too like like like impatient. I don't know if
I can sit down for ninety minutes. M Yeah, Eric
was telling you that you were thinking about with with
like maybe potentially meeting with psilocybin. Was that from that
from the Netflix documentary? No. I was fascinated about the documentary.
(35:31):
I'm believing all of it, and I think I just
have I just have an issue with what if I
never come back? What if I come back a month?
So my mind is so altered neurologically or whatever or
subconsciously or spiritually that I just that I just go
on a trip and I don't come back. Where would
(35:53):
you go? I don't know, switch out of space. So
I don't know, I'll go to you know what I
mean that, I just I just feel we're both and
I don't know how to explain it. Very much. Control
freaks when it comes to ourselves. Yeah, it can be
scary to feel like, oh, I'm going to lose myself
and who I am, Like I have no control, like
(36:15):
my mind is telling me. It will freak me out. Well,
that's if you're operating under the assumption that you think
you're already in control of what your mind's telling you.
I think I am red flag. Our friend yesterday we
were at at a photo an interview thing that she
(36:36):
was doing, and I participated everything. He's done the same
as the same as everything. They're probably two peas in
a pod, Joe and her. They've done all the same
stuff in Mexico. He's done IK all that stuff, and
and he was like, oh no, I would not compare
IK the mushrooms. Mushrooms, He's like, they're He's like, that's
just an amazing experience of opening your mind. And he
(36:58):
started speaking very highly of the experience of what it
does to your mind. Yeah, I mean, you know what,
for some people, what's really helpful for them if there's
a curiosity. This is the beautiful thing we were talking
about earlier about how there's so many paths for different people.
Not everyone's feeling called to psychedelics. It's a powerful medicine
and it will alter you. You can't unknown things about
the the mystery of the universe. If I if there's
(37:21):
anything that I feel truly altered about after having engaged
with psychedelics aside from all the healing that I've received,
that I'm really grateful for, is that, oh yeah, the
world is so much more magical and mysterious than I
could have ever possibly have imagined. And I know that
you have a touchstone to that already, and you're like,
I don't need to like see that to know it. Um.
(37:44):
But I would say that psilocybin connects has connected me
to the feeling of pervasive like love, that actually that
experience of God that people talk about is one and
the same with the vibration of what we would the
best word we have for it in English is like
love and peace. Um. And it's through the doorway of
(38:09):
psychedelics that I've had an easeful experience to touch that
and to have an experiential knowing of it as opposed
to just something I've read from a book. Um. But again,
it's not for everybody, and that's okay. It's harder to
avoid now because everyone's talking about it, everyone's doing it.
But I think it's really wise to honor your own intuition.
(38:31):
And a teacher that I love very much, he wants
highlighted for me. Like, it's different if your discernment that
is grounded in your heart is saying no, thank you,
that's not for me, and it's something entirely different if
your body is going I think I'm supposed to do that.
But I'm afraid that's something to investigate, you know, like,
(38:52):
am I operating from a place of fear? What am
I actually afraid of? What? Am I attached from a
place Because if you asked me if we have this
conversation five years ago, I'll be like, absolutely not. My
body is very virgin. I've never done drugs or alcohol
on the smoke. I'm like so clean that I'm not
gonna do anything that's going to alter anything. Yeah. No, Now,
I don't know if it's through life experiences or people
that come into our lives. I'm tired, it's my stomach
(39:20):
need some mushroom right now. But what I'm saying is
like before I was like, no, now I'm not ready.
I'm ready for um constellation. Yeah, I want it, you know,
like I'm so curious about it. Doing mushrooms and doing
things like that, I'll be petrified. But now it's not
like five years ago that I'm going never in my
(39:41):
life that's unnecessary. Right now, I'm going, I wonder if
life it's just you know, when God keeps sending you lifeguards,
you know, and you just I don't know if it's
just God or spirit or whatever you want of my
angels whatever, just going I'm I'm just gonna plant this
little seat over here, and then you're gonna say no,
But maybe the next time that I'm going to plant,
you know. So that's what. I don't know exactly what's happening.
(40:02):
I do know that I'm in this the middle of
this search at almost fifty years all. I don't know
exactly why, right, but I'm learning and I'm open, and
I think is and I think it's amazing, you know,
and anything that you do to elevate your soul in
your life and as a human, I think it's a
it's a beautiful thing. That's why when you make fun
of me, I just go, I'm just to make fun
(40:22):
of you and scan on paper and rock back and forth.
And it was incredible, and you know what's that? You
know what's you know what's what the ladies said, the
meaning of what your body is doing even though you're
not telling your body to do that. This is what's
going to happen with that project because I did project
(40:45):
and she's like, write the name of the products like
an oracular method. Yes, okay, cool, stand on top of
it and then just go to do it completely dual
and duality, you know, and speed center. Nothing happens, and
your body is going to react in a way if
it's grounded. If you don't while you're like holding the
question exactly and you just look at the thing. I'm
not trying to move, and it was like somebody like
a force. Yeah. I became basically waves like that, and
(41:09):
I'm thinking, am I tripping? Like? Am I tripping? I'm
going this is not possible. I'm not trying to move,
you know, And the two things. Exactly what she said
it was going to transpire. You're not even what she
said exactly what the movement said I was going to
transpire is exactly what's happening. Oh, this is a really
beautiful uh parallel, So that feeling that you're talking about
(41:31):
where I'm not doing anything but I'm focused on holding
a question and standing on this paper. And then something
happened that's similar to me structurally as what T spaces.
I'm not going to do anything. I'm just gonna drink
this tea. When the bowl comes in front of me,
I'm gonna pick it up, I'm gonna drink it. I'm
not gonna do anything else. And then and then something happens,
and something enters, you know, not psychedelically that maybe you
(41:57):
have a maybe maybe you'll have not an explanation, but
maybe you'll have an opinion that might help me. When
I came to the city at the beginning um the
first three or four years, I used to go to
this church. It's not a church, it's a congregation called
a gap. I'm sure you know about a gap. I don't.
A gap is like nondenominational. You know, everybody's it's about
it's it's metaphysical and I know it's a beautiful place.
(42:19):
Michael Beckwitz. If you have you seen the secret, the
specialist Secret. She's the African American with the braids, very
well read and incredibly well spoken. So he's the not
a pastor, but he's like the head of the congregation,
the minister. The place is magical, to be honest with you.
The music, I mean the most incredible singers. I mean,
the place is magical. Um, but it's not a Christian place.
(42:43):
It's non denomination, is they They believe in higher power
is the spirit And I used to go um. And
it's crazy because when you go to a gap it
it's almost like whatever the topic they choose, it's like
they're talking to you. It's exactly what you needed to hear.
And it will every song they will be like, how
I heck this motherfucker knows that I needed to hear that,
you know what I mean. It's a weird because I'm
(43:03):
going there. It's exactly what I'm going through, Like mystical
type of thing. I used I have a good friend
from Porto Rigo. He was my hair dresser. Transgender, I mean,
like a very complicated human being that became a born
and Christian stopping a woman who's about to being a
man anyways, but very in tune with spirituality, like dreams
about things, very powerful, but with an incredible fear of
(43:26):
God because you know, like very borning in Christian like Pentecostals.
And I used to go to church with him, and
I was always so overwhelmed about seeing people speaking in
tongues in front of me. I thought that experience was
so freaking surreal. You know, sometimes I'll be like, I'm
gonna laugh, but it was really powerful. Anyways, I'm here
in l A, I'm going through a divorce. I'm freaking miserable.
(43:47):
He comes to isit me right? And I was so
excited to take him to my church? So I want
to take you. Yes, I'm gonna take it to a
cappe is incredible, the music is beautiful. I need you
to come with me. And he was kind of hesitant
because it's like, is a Christian? Is it? Is it?
I'm going well, it's everything. Anyways, I take him halfway
through his all. You know how people that are Pentecostals,
(44:08):
they go to church and they're dressed to the nines.
He looks so beautiful. He was in a suit right um.
And we get there and not even fifteen minutes into it,
he he is a massive headic, massive headic, and he's like,
I need to get up. I need to leave. This
place is not from God. This is the devil tempting.
And I was like, what do you mean? Right? So
(44:29):
we left. Now I'm shaking because I'm going, oh my god,
I'm I doing something wrong. I'm a gon old. Sorry,
I grew up super Catholic sorr regards, you know. I
mean like I love it when I come here. Shortly
after that, I have a dream with Michael Beckwits the
minister that I'm at this big event and he's sitting
down and he goes Rother and then come over here
(44:51):
and he sits me on his lap and starts to
try like trying to touch me and like like finger
like bizarre. And I'm looking at him going what are
you doing? And he goes like, try to say something,
Go say something. Never I believe you. They're not gonna
believe you. They're gonna believe me. Say something. And I
woke up going, oh my god, like a horrible nightmare.
And I couldn't go back to this day to that place.
(45:15):
But I sent you something today about Michael Beckwitz because
I think it's brilliant and he he talks about manifestation
and spirituality. I think he's a brilliant man. I saw
a clip today with him doing an Ellen show talking
so eloquent and so beautiful, and I sent it to
you about manifestation. And I'm so torn because there's a
(45:39):
part of me that will like not to go back
to a gap. I want to study him again because
I think it's at a different level. At that point
in your life, you weren't ready to receive that. But
why do I have a dream so disgusting It was
a long time ago that we may not be able
to finish. That was a very big topic. Well, we're
not going to have a fun You're gonna have to
(46:00):
wrap this up in a different way. But I want to,
like briefly, just like, there are non dual teachings that
are really important, right, And it's important when we're navigating
through our spiritual journeys to be as benevolent, neutral and
aquantumious as possible. Labeling things bad good, that doesn't mean,
that doesn't mean there aren't dark energies out there, or
(46:20):
you can see it as tortured souls. Tortured spirits, right,
who are suffering, and so you know, from a Buddhist perspective,
you want to have compassion for those people. That's another conversation. However,
when beings have accumulated a great deal of spiritual power,
one of the things that I've learned and something I
love about Eastern traditions is that they have a really
stronghold on humility and the importance of it, because as
(46:41):
you gain spiritual power knowledge your there's a righteousness that
comes with it, right, There's a permission that comes with it,
And if a person isn't also anchored in humility, then
the shadow aspect of all of that power can come
into play. I've also like in estigated spiritual lines that
(47:01):
I feel really drawn to and then have terrible dreams
about them and then do research where I'm like, what
the hell is going on here and discover a lot
of darkness and I'm like, I have no interest in
going there, but I received so much from the teachings,
and what I think is a beautiful takeaway is like
people are not perfect. There's always going to be incredible
truth that is flowing through a person. But at the
(47:23):
end of the day, that's human being. Nobody's perfect, but
it's sparked a light of interest in you. You're really
interested in manifestation, that's such a gift. Nobody, including an
imperfect teacher, can take that away from you, this spark
of curiosity, And there are lots of people teaching manifestation.
You don't have to just learn it from him, you know,
(47:43):
And you should explore that because anything that does that
with your heart, that's connected to spirit, that is a recognition,
that's like a soul level recognition, that's your spirit going. Like,
I think that's a tool for me, you know, the
same way that you're like mushrooms constellations like that is
that's obvious that that's for you. You know. I'm sorry,
that's a scary dream and it was. It doesn't mean
it's we're not talking bad about that individual. I don't
(48:06):
know for a incredible yeah, and I think he has
healed and helped thousands of people, you know what I mean, Like,
it's about dream about It was about dream but it's
about dreaming that to this day, I just go I
think about it often I just go, why did he
touch me? It's a weirdest says continue to not say
his name and say he touched you. He did not.
(48:28):
I just didn't have I love this like I just did,
like a Dave Chappelle like anyway, do you have the rookie?
Hashtag chan for Watch Up the River. We premiere on Sunday.
I believe it is what it is, don't cut to
(48:48):
me and uh Melissa mccona, Melissa will. I hope that
you enjoyed your ride where the wind has blown you
under the rookie. Can't wait for the wind to blow
you into my teeth space and then we will be
in your tea space soon, have special We thank you.
(49:09):
We can talk about the Rookie. We will, we want
we will have to talk about the Rookie and part
two and we will follow up with our teeth. Um. Yeah,
they're gonna blame it. Didn't want to talk. You know
where it went off the tracks was when I was like,
you let the dogs in when you're doing it like
you guys like Canadian idles, like no funk that. So
(49:32):
you're having sex, right do you guys? Wow? All right,
with another episode we're having This was great. Until next
time you. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to write us
a review and tell us what you think. If you
want to follow us on Instagram, check goes out at
he said. Was that email Eric and Ross at I
(49:54):
Heard radio dot com, he said, is part of I
Heard Radios mikel podcast net. See you next time now
Host
Roselyn Sanchez
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