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March 15, 2022 36 mins

Vibrant, unstoppable Amanda Kloots is co-host on CBS’ The Talk, a recent contestant on Dancing With The Stars, a fitness entrepreneur and author of “Live Your Life: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero.” The former Rockette and Broadway dancer wrote the book after her husband, Tony nominee Nick Cordero, lost his battle with Covid-19 months after they had their first child. Alec and Amanda discuss her move to Los Angeles, what it’s like raising her son as a single mom, and how Broadway prepared her to take on anything life throws her way. 

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Alec Baldwin and you were listening to hear
the thing from My Heart Radio. You may know the
name Amanda Clutes from the daily social media dispatches she
released while her husband, Nick Cordero, Broadway star and Tony nominee,
battled COVID in early a fight he sadly lost in

(00:24):
July of that year. But she did not take these
events lying down or spend her time idly after his passing.
Amanda Clutes is a woman of boundless positivity and innumerable talents.
She's a dancer, fitness entrepreneur, and television co host of
The Talk on CBS. Clutes was also a contestant on

(00:47):
Dancing with the Stars, and she's the author of Live
Your Life, My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero.
All of this on top of being a single mom
to her young son Elvis, to what had Frankly, Amanda
Clutes is a force. I wanted to know how this
Broadway veteran and longtime New York resident made her transition

(01:09):
to Sonny, Los Angeles. I had spent some time out here.
I had done the national tour straight out here. I
had done the national tour of Young Frankenstein through um
Los Angeles. I had done two productions at the Hollywood Bowl,
so I had spent some summer weeks over in the
summer here, so and ironically had always wanted to live

(01:31):
in l A. And then you know, um, the weather,
the lifestyle, but always just seemed like, you know, one day,
I think I'd love to live in Los Angeles. But
then when I got pregnant and we were living in
New York, and my fitness business was thriving in New
York and Nick was unemployed. He could not get a

(01:53):
job to save his life. So our income relied on
my fitness business. As I was pregnant, and then my
mom and dad lived across the hall from us, and
my sisters, Yes, and my sisters were down the streets.
So in the city, in the city. What were your
parents doing in the city because you were pregnant, they
came to stay with you. Yeah, and my sister had
a baby too. You know, they're retired and they wanted

(02:14):
to be close to their daughters and their new grandchildren.
And you know, from being a parent, like you need help.
And so I was like, Nick, I don't think this
is the right time to move. You know, you're unemployed.
All of our income is here. Everybody you know that
could possibly give you a job is here. You don't
know anybody in l A. But he was so insistent

(02:38):
on wanting to do music and needing to be in
Los Angeles for music, and so it got to the
point where, you know, we kept fighting about it, and
I knew, because I know my husband, I was like,
if I don't let him do this, you know, we
gotta try. We can always go back to New York.
New York is always here, you know, New York never changes.
And so I thought, you know, okay, we just we

(02:59):
give a shot. And I was hoping, you know, wouldn't
work out and we would move back to New York.
Why why that's interesting. I thought you said you wanted
to be there, I know, but just with with a
child and being close to family, I just was thinking,
you know, I just hope that we go out to
l A, figure out that it's not the right time
at the moment, and we get to come back to

(03:19):
New York. And your parents relocated there permanently, um, pretty
much not. They didn't sell their home in Ohio, but
they had rented for a year an apartment, and then
we're going to renew their lease. Nick and I found
our apartment in a building that used to be a
women's dormitory and they were converting it into apartments. So

(03:42):
we found this apartment, and the landlord had no idea
what he had, but you know, I've been in I
was in New Yorker for eighteen years at that point,
and I was like, Nick, we're getting this apartment right now.
And the one across the hall was also being renovated.
And I was like, and my mom and dad they're
getting that apartment. They don't know it, but they're getting
that apartment. And it was so dirt cheap you would
not even believe for a two bedroom to bath on

(04:04):
sixty Central Park West. And so my parents luckily were
able to rent out the place across the hall from us.
So that's where we were. Your parents now they're back
in Ohio. They went home. Well, when COVID happened, you know,
they went they went home. Yeah, they got out of
their lease and and drove back to Ohio. But you
were a visitor there. You were a visitor in l A.

(04:24):
You know, I visited then I went out there for
like a pilot season in the eighties, and then I
lived out there. I had an address out there for
thirty years, and I lived out there, and I was
one of the great l A haters of all time.
And then I hated because I hated driving. In New York.
You walk, you a taxi, no uber back then, but
you don't take the subway. Obviously, everybody took the subway.

(04:47):
And I didn't like to drive. I hated to drive.
And I've made peace with l A. I don't hate
it anymore. But uh, when you're there, it's a quick
commute to the studio. Oh it's the best. Critical, It's critical.
And I didn't even realize how critical that was. I mean, honestly,
this job, at the talk, I feel like, was just

(05:07):
you know, a gift, such a blessing. I mean, I
I can take my son to school and then I
go to my job. I get to talk to really
fun people and be in a great community every day,
and then I, you know, I'm home in the afternoon
for my son after he gets home from school. I mean,
it's it's exactly, it's laughable to talk. Come wants to talk,

(05:32):
and I'm like, that's all I've done today, I don't
want to talk anymore. I don't want to tell me.
How was your day? Yeah, what's going on? Baby? What happened?
How's pre school? Tell me about Yeah, tell me all
about it. When you get this job, you hadn't done
anything like this before, correct, No, not really. I mean
the casting director at the talk reached out to my

(05:52):
friend who contacted me, and I said, I'll hand them
over to my manager at the time, and and then
they came back and said, we're going to test her
for ten episodes. And you know, at the time, they
were looking for Marie Osmond's replacement. And so it came
out of nowhere. It literally came out of nowhere. Now
I had I had done some hosting stuff. I was

(06:13):
a dessert critic for six years of my life in
New York City, and I had filmed some pilots for
hosting dessert shows with Food Network. A dessert critic. Yeah,
could you like stick your spoon into a lot of
key line pies? And I don't know exactly kidding. No,
I was sent desserts. I was sent to restaurants all

(06:34):
over the world and reviewed dessert It was a good job.
It was not a bad job, and I balanced it
out with teaching fitness and being on Broadway. So it
was you know, I you know, joked that I would
have my cake and eat it too, and that was,
you know, all good. So you've done some hosting, yeah,
but I mean, don't you think alec when you do

(06:55):
I mean I did Broadway for seventeen years, and mean
when you do that, it kind of prepares you for
anything in life in a way. I mean you get
to a point where you know you're at an audition,
can you do this, and you just say yes. You know,
You're like yes, because you realize you gotta learn on
the spot. You gotta say yes in order to get

(07:15):
a job, and you just got to learn and teach
yourself as you go. So I mean when the talk
reached out, I was I was super excited and nervous,
but also kind of like, you know, I I had
done morning shows, I had done talk shows. I had
done talk shows for Broadway from my fitness business, So
it wasn't like, yeah, and I had worked with because
of Broadway. I had worked with a lot of celebrity

(07:36):
celebrity directors. You know, it wasn't necessarily something that was
very foreign to me. You know, it didn't feel like,
oh my god, what am I doing? This is? You know,
it just felt kind of like a new home. They
were auditioning a lot of people, I know, like Rumor
Willis was another UM person that they were looking closely at,

(07:57):
and you know, she looks nothing like me, so I
didn't know what they wanted. And Elaine welter Roth, who
who eventually got the job as well, they were auditioning
her a lot too, and she's a beautiful black woman.
So I was really unsure and I shocked when I
got the job. I really was, Yeah, you did the
ten episodes I did, and how they go? Well? I

(08:17):
ended up doing fifteen, so I felt like they did great.
Have that many doubts about it, Bob, I'm not so sure.
She really can't talk very well. It's called the talk,
by the way. She can't talk No. But you know,
I mean, you just you never feel like you can
be certain that you got the job until you get

(08:39):
the call that you got the job. And it was
so funny because I'm not used to this TV world.
And so when my manager and lawyer called me and
they downplayed it at first, and then they told me
that I got the job, and I of course was
super excited. And then afterwards I ended up calling Zach
Braff and he goes, Amanda, just a heads up, Hollywood,

(09:00):
if your lawyer and your manager calls you, it's always
a good side. As I go, okay, I was like,
I didn't know that. He was like, you always thought
your lawyer on the phone. He's like, that's a good
side of the deal, Amanda Clutes. If you enjoy conversations
with vibrant talk show hosts, check out my episode with

(09:22):
Rosie O'donnald. The club owner called me again, Richie and said,
come back. Why don't you come back? You were good
that first night. And so I come back and I
do sign fields act almost verbade him and I get
off stage and Ritchie and a bunch of other comics
are standing around said, wod you get that material? I said,
this guy named Jerry who was on MERV Griffin yesterday.
They go, You're not allowed to do that. I'm like,
why not? You have to write your own jokes and like,

(09:43):
wait a minute, strikes and doesn't write her own song?
Didn't did you do well? Did the audience like of course?
And they didn't you hear those? Because they were laughing
jokes a joke. I have to write the jokes and nuts.
To hear more of my conversation with the versatile Rosie
O'donnald go to Here's the Thing dot org. After the break,

(10:03):
Amanda Clutes reveals the musical theater role from her days
in Ohio that sealed her fate. I'm Alec Baldwin and

(10:25):
you're listening to Here's the Thing. Amanda Clutes, best telling
author and fitness entrepreneur, landed a hosting gig on CBS
as The Talk in January. We spoke about the enormous
amount of prep work that goes into making a daily
television show. The day breaks down. We start with an

(10:46):
eight thirty AM zoom with the cast and our producers.
They kind of run through, you know, we talk about
topics before we get into the interviews of the celebrities,
so we run through those topics and as soon as
that end, then we are on calls pretty much until
we walk out on set with other producers about the
guest we have on what they're promoting, what we're talking about,

(11:08):
and we're on meetings up until so I'm getting here
and makeup done. But I'm on meetings up until I
walk out on stage, so you feel very very prepared. Now.
The night before, your inboxes flooded with emails and links
to the screeners. If there is somebody that's promoting a book,
we got that book last week, so it's you know,
it's up to you to do your intelligence. Yeah, yeah,

(11:30):
I mean, the good thing I will say about the
talk is that it's fun that there's five of us,
because it does take the pressure off of feeling like
you have to know everything or you have to prepare everything.
It it's nice to be able to bounce off of
each other like a real conversation would if you were
sitting at home with a group of friends. So that
does help. But the more you're educated, obviously, the better

(11:52):
for you. Does Amanda cludes come to Hollywood to do
the talk show and someone else is deciding how you
wear your hay, what clothes you wear, how much makeup
you wear. Is there a lot of hands on there
or you're on your own? No, I have a whole team,
which is thank god, and they're doing everything for me
while I'm on these producer calls. But I mean, I

(12:14):
definitely have say, and what I wear and what I
look like? No one holding up something with some little
bo peep costume and going and you're going, now I'm
walking unless they are, And then I go, absolutely no,
I'm not. I'm not wearing that today. What else have
we got? It's interesting, how you know? When I first started,
it was the last gasps of an old Hollywood. I

(12:36):
remember doing the movie Hunt for Red October. We shot
ane and I was in a chair and four men
that were producers and executs from Paramount were standing there
talking about what Claire roll number beaver I needed to
have my the brown of my hair. Four men were
sitting there smoking cigarettes. It all smoked back then in public,

(12:57):
and they were like, I think it's forty seven, franc
I'm gonna we go with number forty seven, Beava forty seven.
I was like, I don't know, Jerry, thirty nine looks right.
I think we should go with shade light at thirty nine.
And I'm sitting in a chair going I had no idea.
It was really like this. I feel like I'm Clark Gable.
I mean, they're all talking about they're all getting all
hot and bothered about my hair color and I mean,

(13:19):
I kind of love that. Though all my friends moved
to l A in the nineties, some in the eighties,
like me. I started going out there in eighty three
for the first time, when I was very, very very young,
and but eventually all through the eighties and into the nineties,
all my friends left New York and all my friends
are there. I got more friends in l A than
I do in New York. Is that the same for you? Yeah?

(13:39):
You know, well, I think COVID too. There was such
an exodus of people in New York. But I think
that was another reason I was really terrified about moving
to l A, especially being a new mom and knowing
that like life as like a young couple isn't the same.
I was really worried about what you hear. You know,
you're lonely in l A. If you don't live by
your friends, you never see them. People make plans say

(14:02):
you know, everyone's fake and phony. And for some reason, Alec,
I don't know why, I have found just like the
best community here, especially the Laurel Canyon community, my neighbors,
my friends here. I have a really, really wonderful group
of people around me. Amanda, are you saying you're smoking
a lot of pot making every night? Is that what
the Laurel Canyon thing is? Is that what you say?

(14:23):
Do you know what? I wish? I could tell you
that I don't smoke pot I have tried. It doesn't
it puts me right to sleep, So it's not something
for me. But you know, yeah, I have a little
bubble here, he said. And I do love the sunshine
and my lemon trees. And I just bought a vintage Broncos.
So I was gonna ask you, what car are you driving?

(14:45):
Did you buy one of what I call the Kevin
Bacon Broncos. I don't know what's Kevin Bacon Bronco. Kevin
does a thing for oh May's for charity. When you
give the money, you're registered in the raffle. You give
the money to be in the raffle, and you get
like this, like super tricked out Bronco with like you know,
novelho blankets or the other fabric on the see all
those craziness, and I call the guy who makes him.

(15:07):
I find that who he is. I call this number.
He picks up the phone. I said, Hi, I'm Alec Baldwin.
I see this thing with Kevin. He's like, yeah, yeah,
we did that car. Yes, sir, we did that car.
It's a man. That car is so really awesome. I said, now,
do you make any more with this, like a one
off with the charity thing with Kevin? Are you making No. No,
we have a production line and we're doing the cars.

(15:27):
I said, Wow, that's amazing. So what are they running
for these cars? If you're selling these cars, what are
they running for? He was like, they weren't in About
on the low one like too sixty and behind about
And I literally like this little child like looking at
a toy in the window on fifth them and like
I'm like, Schwarts. I'm like, do you mean two sixty dollars.

(15:49):
He's like, yes, yes, yes, that's exactly what I mean.
And I was like, oh wow, wow, I don't want
to bronco that, but you gotta trick that Bronco. Well,
it is not that pensive, that's for sure. I found
a guy in Long Beach that found one for me
in Atlanta and he is making it tricked out for me,

(16:09):
but not that tricked out. It's just tricked out so
that I don't break down on the side of the
road because I have no business owning a vantage car.
I have no business owning any season of the show.
Are you in now? I'm in season two, So yeah,
I was gonna say it's season two tricked out. You
have a different car Season five, Season five, it's gonna
be like solid gold steering wheel diamonds. There's a season

(16:33):
five car for all of us. But you've got a
lot of good pals out there. Yeah, you know, I
really do in a great mix of people. You know,
people in the business, people not in the business, people
in the music business, lots of good people. I have
a great support system, if you don't mind my asking.
So when Nick passed away or his parents alive, his

(16:54):
mother is he lost his dad three years before, So
his poor mom lost her husband and then lost her son.
How many other kids does she have? She has two
other kids that live very close to her, So that's
thank god. You stay in touch with her. Yeah, we
have a family FaceTime every Sunday where we get on
and and we face time. But you know, they're in Hamilton's, Canada, Ontario,

(17:18):
so it has I haven't seen them since she left
after he passed, but hopefully we'll be able to see
each other soon. What are you falling in love with
out there? What do you love? My favorite place in
the entire world the Hollywood Bowl. I could literally go
there every single night, weather permitting, and sit and watch
whatever they're doing, whether it's a movie, the orchestra concert.

(17:40):
I love that place so much. I wish I had
my own seat there that was like the Amanda Cluses
could be arranged at that Season five s from for
I'm Getting my Own box Season five where it's did
it Now? My own parking spot too, Dodger Stadium and

(18:04):
the Hollywood Bowl. There you go. That's that's my favorite though.
I love that Bowl because I love that old Hollywood feeling,
like when you were telling your story of shooting that
movie with the directors, and I mean I would. I
wish I could go back in time and be there.
I think that's why I love studio lots, because you
drive onto a studio lot and you immediately feel like
you're in the nineteen fifties or something. I love it.

(18:26):
So I love the Hollywood Bowl. It's my favorite. What
was it like for you? You grew up in what
town in Ohio? Ohio? Can'ton Ohio? Are you a football fan? Yeah.
The Football Hall of Fame was five minutes down the
street from where I grew up, and you grew up there, Yeah,
that's where I grew up. And I moved to New
York at eighteen years old. Why because what was the
theater thing? If you as a child, you know, it

(18:47):
wasn't really I started dancing when I was twelve. When
I started looking to it, Yeah, musical an arts middle school.
And then when I got into high school, I started
doing musicals and I fell in love with singing and
acting and being on stage. And I was Adelaide and
my senior performance of Guys and Dolls, and that just

(19:08):
sealed the deal for me. And I told my parents
I gotta, you know, go to school for musical theater.
And auditioned for a school in New York called AMA
American Musical and Dramatic Academy and got in, and I
convinced them I don't know how to drop me off
in New York City at eighteen years old and let
me go to school to be on the think did

(19:29):
they just believe in you? I definitely fought for it,
that's for sure. I Mean, when I want something, I'll
fight for it. But um, you know, I was. I
was one of five kids. I have a younger sister,
so I was basically the baby for a while. I
think by the time they had already put three people
through college, you know, normal four year colleges. I think
by the time I was begging and pleading to go

(19:49):
to New York and be on Broadway, they kind of
they were tired. They were tired, were tired of you,
Like down the hallway. It's like that movie Little Voice
down the hall Way. They can hear you going. I
was born in a in the Plymouth Theater in Pocatello, Idaho.
But seriously, I think about that now, and I think
about like Elvis coming up to me and going, mom,

(20:11):
I want to move to New York and be on Broadway.
And at the you know, I also said be a
Radio City Rocket, and you know, I would look at
him like, no, no, you don't. Is it weird how
we do that? I said to my kids. They were like,
I want to be an actor. I'm like, man, we
gotta have a few drinks. I know you're only five.

(20:32):
We need to have a few drinks. Even break out
a package of camel lights, puff a couple of cigs,
have a couple of cocktails, and we're gonna talk it over.
Now you get to New York and you became a
roquet how quickly? Well, I first did the national tour
of forty two straight. That was my job. I got
two days before I graduated school. So my parents, luckily,
we're like, oh my gosh, well, you know, this is

(20:55):
is a pretty good story. The Broadway show was revived
and it was a huge hit. It won the tone
me and well Jerry are about to the original. This
was two thousand, yeah, two thousand, I think it was
on Broadway. Two thousand two was when I graduated, and
it was a massive hit. I saw it front row
because at the time there were student tickets. I saw
it twelve times in the front row, and of course

(21:17):
just you know, every time with my eyes open and
my jaw dropped and saying I want to do this.
And I auditioned and I got cut, and I auditioned
and I got cut and the third audition. You know, luckily,
with dance auditions, especially once you know the combo, you
get cut. But you know what there, You know what
that combination is going to be the next time you

(21:37):
come in. So by the third time I went in,
I knew what I had to do, and I rehearsed
myself every single night leading up to that audition in
my bathroom with my tap shoes on. You bet you.
I rehearsed myself that combination in my small little bathroom,
and so by the time I walked into that audition,
my third time's a charm. I nailed the tap audition.

(22:00):
And then luckily, you know, this was for the first
national tour of a CEDA contract where they basically we're
paying us next to nothing, but it was still equity.
So I got my equity card, and so I got
the job. I was getting paid next to nothing because
it was a SEDA d contract, but it was equity.
I got my equity card and I was on tour
at twenty years old. Amanda Clutes, if you're enjoying this conversation,

(22:28):
tell a friend and be sure to follow. Here's the
thing on the I Heart radio app, Spotify or wherever
you get your podcasts. When we come back, Amanda Clutes
shares with us the challenges and surprising silver linings of
being a single parent. I'm Alec Baldwin and you're listening

(22:56):
to here's the thing. Before Amanda Clutes was a Broadway
a dancer, she was a Radio City rockette. The world's
most iconic precision dance company made a big impression upon
her at a young age. We took a lot of
family trips to New York as kids, and one of
the times that we went to New York, the Rockets
were doing their Easter Show, which this is taking us

(23:18):
back to like six right. He took us to the
Easter Show. In the minute that curtain went up and
I saw them, you know, live, because I had watched
the Rockets every Thanksgiving morning on you know, the Macy's
Thanksgiving Day parade. I was like, this is what I
want to do. But you also have to realize I'm
five ten and I was a dancer, so you know,

(23:38):
I looked at them on TV and I identified with them.
I was like, I could do that. I could be
her driving a bucket of golf balls for you. Nothing. Well,
it was again, it was a hard audition. I auditioned
twice before I got the job. Again, I'm a third
time's kind of charm kind of girl, I guess, but
I mean it was There's nothing like being a Radio

(23:59):
City get at Radio City Music Hall performing that Christmas show.
I mean it was you know, my whole family was
there opening night, and that's just iconic. You know, not
too many people can say that they were a Radio
City Rocket. Well, there's when I would do shows on Broadway,
and I remember when there were not all of them,
certainly and certainly in every performance, but there were times
I would get so emotional. Yeah, we take the curtain

(24:22):
goal and I thought I was going to burst out crying. Yeah,
And I thought, how many more of these do I
have left? But this shows that the show is not
going to run forever. I did shows where I had
a limited run. I'd be like, you know, all in
after like twenty weeks or whatever, twenty five weeks, and
I would and just the tradition, the glory. When I
did my last performance, I did street Car named Desire

(24:44):
and we did the last show, I was sobbing. I
mean I went in my room. I sobbed. I said,
I'm never going to play this guy again. I'm already
too old to play him. I was thirty four, Brandon
was twenty four, you know, and I thought to myself,
I'm too old. I'll never play the Sain. I thought, God,
this has been the opportunity of a lifetime. It's crazy, right,
Why do you think Broadway hits like nothing else? And

(25:04):
yet like the thought of going back and doing a
Broadway show, I'm like, no, no, I can't really, Yeah,
I don't know. I think I think about eight shows
a week, and I think about missing dinners and missing holidays,
and I'm like, I'm like, I don't know how I
did that. I don't know how I did that. That
includes you owe everything to Broadwastadway and you're out there like, oh,

(25:30):
You're like, you're like Brando now brand the Broadway. Then
he got up there on mom Holland Drive. You'd be
careful or you're gonna be three pounds in the mom
on the phone with your lawyer all day. I'm telling you,
I know. That's what I'm saying. I look at my
Broadway years and I want I do the same thing.
I want to cry at some of those memories and
the people, and I love it and I miss it.

(25:52):
Yet the thought of going back and doing it is like,
I don't know if I couldn't do on a show
on broad Bay in September. You are congratulations social media
is how it was first introduced to you. Because obviously
what happened with your husband and I was just I mean,
like like countless millions of people around the world. Everybody
was very just chattered by all that and how prolonged

(26:13):
it was and so forth. But social media has is
a big arrow in your quiver, correct. I mean you're
you're very active on social media in terms of your emotions. Yeah,
I am. You know, it started with running a fitness
company over Instagram. You know, that's how I started using Instagram.
I have seven hundred and some thousand, but you know,

(26:37):
I mean that's how I was running my fitness company.
I mean it's free marketing. Sometimes I can't believe that
Instagram exists in that way. I mean I was running
a whole company without having to spend a dime on marketing,
and so yes, I I do. I owe a lot
to that platform. And then you know, with Nick, I

(26:58):
mean the community and the support that I received, the
medical advice, the advice on Elvis and everything. I mean,
the help. It was crazy. And you're gonna ask you
as a single mom. You you mean, people look at
you and they say, here's this gorgeous talented, you know

(27:19):
many things, and some people look at you and go
and she's a single mom. That's a big identifier. If
you like what you endure to now you have your
son would have been some of the special things you've
had to adapt to for that in terms of raising
your child. And what's I don't want to say advice,
but what are some observations you have for other single
moms who are working moms like you? You know, I

(27:40):
think one of the because I love to find a
blessing or silver lining in everything, because you know, obviously
I didn't ever expect to be a single mom or
raise Elvis on my own. But you know, the bond
that Elvis and I have it is it's crazy. It's
really crazy. I mean we are so we're best friends.

(28:01):
And he I think, because thank you, he's the particle
collider with the two of you. It's crazy. He looks
like the two of you. Yeah, he does, he really
really does. He's a he's a good mega mix. But
you know, he he's a really chill kid. And I
think it's because in our house it's just him and
I and I play music a lot in the house,

(28:23):
and you know, there's there's no other. I am the
voice of reason, I am the boss. I am you know,
he plays well by himself. He's very independent because he
recognizes when I'm doing something that he goes and does
something else. He's I think, an old soul because of
a lot of this and the fact that you know,

(28:44):
I've pretty much been a single mom since Nick went
into the hospital, so he was ten months old, and um,
you know, we just communicate really well together. It's very beautiful.
It's sad. Obviously, I wish Nick was here, and and
there's times where I I longed to look over in
him and see him playing with his dad and what
that would look like and what they'd be doing. And

(29:04):
you know, I think for single moms, another single mom
said this to me, and I'll never forget it because
it's sometimes hard to put into words how you feel
sometimes and it no one sees the times that you're
just struggling, whereas when your partner is there, they see
the struggle and they go, honey, I got it. Take

(29:25):
a minute, go shower, I got Elvis, go breathe take
a second. I got it. And when you're a single mom,
nobody's there to help you with those situations and so
nobody sees it. And it's really tough because sometimes you
just are like I wish I could take a shower
without a toddler opening up the shower curtain every two
seconds and dumping his toys in the bath, or you know,

(29:47):
I mean, or just like you're trying to get out
of the house and you know, something spills and there's
nobody there to help you. I have six kids, yeah,
I mean, so I don't do anything I want to do,
but I dream about. Now to two quick things. I
assume the Dancing with the Stars is a different animal.
Here you are a professional dancer and you're a rocket,

(30:08):
and you've been dancing your whole life, and then you're
on Broadway. And then I thought to myself, well, it's
dancing with the stars, like the difference between Olympic wrestling
and professional wrestling. Is it dancing that you were used
to or what adjustments did you have to make to
do that show. Here's the best analogy I've discovered and
how to how to how to understand this? So Alec Baldwin,

(30:30):
you are a NFL quarterback, all right, You're really good
at it. You know what you're doing but on Sunday
they hand you a golf ball and a club and
they say, you are going to go up against Tiger
Woods next Sunday. You have to be ready. We're gonna
give you the outfit. We're gonna give you the course,
and you have to you have to go, and you
play a whole whole game. The whole world's gonna judge you,

(30:51):
and everyone's going to vote on how well you did. Alright, ready, great,
go And then you're like, I have a week and
you're like yes. And then on that Sunday they hand
you a basketball and they go, okay, great, Now, next
Sunday you're gonna be playing in an NBA game against
Lebron James. Here's your uniform and here's the basketball. You
have a week to learn how to be an NBA player.
And you're like, no, no, no, I don't play basketball.

(31:13):
But yeah, you play football, Yeah, but I don't play basketball.
This is a whole different set of skills. It doesn't matter.
Let's go. You have a w referring to the style
of yeah, and just how how I can be a
dancer and I can be a Broadway dancer. But they
put ballroom shoes on you and tell you to tango.
It's not the same thing, so that that's the best

(31:33):
way to describe it. And you know, some people will
be like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'm like, okay,
but really try to put yourself in those shoes, and
and then you try to, and then you can sort
of understand. Well, when I look at you and I've
seen you online, when you turned up on that show,
I was like, oh my god, it's perfect. So that's
perfect because those shows you need to have some positivity.

(31:57):
Warmth thought to myself, My god, you're so buoyant. You
went through this thing, and the world watched you go
through this thing, and you shared what you wanted to share.
This is my opinion, my observation, and you didn't share
what you didn't want to share. And I guess I
mean your your buoyancy, your positivity is one of your
calling cards. And people really admire how you've come out

(32:19):
of this. You know, and you want to live, you
want to keep living. What do you want Elvis to
know most about Nick? Mm hmm. You know, I think
you know, Nick had so many different colors to him,
and I hope that he'll learn all about those colors.

(32:41):
I was listening to a podcast and um, the guy
that was being interviewed, he said that he lost his
mom at age one, and so then my ears immediately
peeked up because Elvis was one. And he said, the
interesting thing about when you lose a parent at such
a young age is that every time somebody tell as
you a story about your mom or your dad. For Elvis,

(33:05):
that's how you learn about the person. He said, So
I've come to put together the image of my mother
just based on all these stories from all the different
people in her life. And I was like hit by
a tongue of bricks because I was like, Wow, that
will be Elvis one day. He'll learn about his dad
through stories from me, through stories from his grandma, stories

(33:25):
from his friends. And you know, I can't tell the
same stories that his best buddy from Toronto is going
to tell him, you know what I mean, I'm gonna
have completely different stories, and I just my greatest hope
is that he learns all of those stories, because that
truly was Nick. He was such a kaleidoscope of talent
and people and personality and charisma. It just he you

(33:50):
couldn't pin him down. And I think That's what made
him so talented and loved by so many people. You know,
he was a rock star, and then he was also
you know, fucking awesome, you know, actor on Broadway or
on Law and Order or Blue Bloods or you know,
all the things he did. I want him to know
all those people. And you know, of course, my biggest

(34:12):
fear is that by the time he gets to eight,
I'm to forget things. You know, like you you worry
that you forget you know, or what you will forget. Well,
I sympathize because I had so many kids late in
life and so much of my career is behind me.
And my greatest fear is like I'm gonna be in
a wheelchair and my people can be like, here's my dad.
I mean, like drooling on myself with a blanket. They're

(34:33):
gonna this is my dad. He played Trump on TV.
He was Trump. That's all they're going to remember. Let
me just tell you something. I'm a fan. I watched
you go through what you went through. I thought, here's
this woman who's struggling with this really painful situation, and
I am so inspired by you. Thank you, Alex. It
seems to me that there are other communities that respond

(34:55):
in kind. But there are a few though, like the
Broadway theater community in terms of rallying around there kindred spirits.
And I'm sure you were really just enveloped in a
lot of care when that was all happening. Correct, Oh
my god, yeah, I mean, you know, I don't think
that I even realized how amazing the Broadway community was
until that happened. And it was like this instant you know, family,

(35:21):
even shows that Nick and I weren't even a part of,
you know, reached out to me to try to help.
And then the shows that you are a part of,
you know, and you know, like they really do become
family members. Like just where when above and beyond I mean,
still to this day are going above and beyond to
help me and Elvis if we ever need anything. I mean,

(35:43):
it's so special. You know. I've had people who I'm
very close with who passed away. And my dad died
when I was twenty five, and I was very close
to my dad, and I friend, my friend said to me,
he said, remember it was life is for the living.
You got to keep going. And I admire you. I
admire you for how you've carried on and pressed on
and kept going. Thank you so much, Amanda Clutes. This

(36:08):
episode was produced by Kathleen Russo, Zach McNeese, and Maureen Hoban.
Our engineer is Frank Imperial. I'm Alec Baldwin. Here's the
thing is brought to you by iHeart Radio
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Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin

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