April 4, 2023 • 35 mins
Caroline Rhea is best-known as Aunt Hilda in the 90s sitcom, “Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” but the actor and comedian has been entertaining us in many forms for decades: hosting “The Biggest Loser” and “The Caroline Rhea Show,” performing in standup specials on Comedy Central and HBO, voicing Disney’s “Phineas and Ferb” and appearing as a panelist on game shows like “Hollywood Squares” and “Match Game” with Alec. Rhea speaks with Alec about getting back out on the road doing standup, why it was important to take time off from her career to raise her daughter, and why she’s most at home on stage.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the
Thing from iHeart Radio. My guest today is famous for
playing a witch and keeping us in stitches. Actor, comedian,
and my dear friend, Caroline Ray. The Canadian born performer,
came up as a stand up comic in New York City,
(00:26):
working in the Bloomingdale's Perfume counter by day and performing
open mics at night. In the nineties, she moved to
Los Angeles and soon after landed the television role that
would make her famous, Aunt Hilda in Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Since then, she has taken her talent many places, performing
(00:46):
stand up on Comedy Central, HBO, and Showtime, helming The
Caroline Ray Show, hosting The Biggest Loser, voicing the Disney Channels,
Phineas and Ferb, and appearing as a panelist on game
shows like Hollywoo with Squeers and With Me on Match Game.
Yet Ray always comes back to her first love. She
(01:07):
recently got back on the road performing stand up across
the country. But don't let the perky, smile and buoyant
personality fool you. Her humor can be body. It's hard
to pick a name like, I wanted to name her
Emmy because I've always wanted an Emmy, And but when
we were trying to pick her middle name, it was
like everybody was giving a suggestion. So someone said what
(01:29):
about Lily, And I'm like, no, that's like a poled answer,
absolutely not. And no one said what about Marie? And
I'm like, my mother's like, that's so Catholic. Like oh,
and so my daughter's father's mother said well, what about Gina,
And everyone's like that's so pretty, and I'm like, hello, Ava,
Gina is not going to be my daughter's name now.
(01:52):
Caroline Ray had her daughter Ava in two thousand and
eight and took ten years off of her career to
focus on raising her. I wanted to know what that
time of her life was like. I did stand up,
but I would do it. I would do occasional corporates
and I would but I would cut way back. I
would maybe go on the road two or three times
(02:12):
a year, but I would do stand up locally. But no,
I really thought I was like lucky enough to have
a baby as old as I was, and I was not.
There was nothing at the time that was going to
be more interesting than she was at a comedy club
and I felt like I'd already been there. And then
when she was about two and a half, I was like,
I have to go on stage right now. And then
I did a special, so I worked on that. But
(02:33):
I would say in the last year, I've done more
stand up than I have in fifteen years. I'm like,
every night I'm at the comedy store or the improv
doing something I don't know. After COVID, I thought I'd
never do it again, and then I got COVID and
I was like, Okay, it's not as bad, and then
I ran to a stage as quickly as possible. But
it's weird. It's it doesn't matter what I do. That
(02:54):
is where I'm happiest. Yeah, what is what is your
happiest like of all the things you do? Being in
a movie? Probably right, no no no, no no no,
a plate or this. I like doing this. I mean,
we do this and we're not trust me, we're not
getting rich to in this podcast. But you were brilliantly
funny as a game show host too. You take off
(03:16):
when you just said that about nothing is interesting in
a comedy club as this. I said, to watch the
Journey of human development, day by day, up close the
good and the bad. Because my kids are either uproariously
funny or I want to throw them off the balcony.
There's just nothing I found that could be placed. Though.
Did you find that when you after that period, when
(03:37):
did you decide you were going to go back into
it hard charging in full time? Well, at some point
I thought, I'm like, I call it a MoMA. It's
like a mom coma. Or you're just in it, you
know what I mean. That's what you're doing. You're being
a mom or you're being a dad, and you're being
it so fully, and every minute of that is the greatest.
Like I feel like my life went from like at
(03:58):
a great life and the minute ever was born into
technicolor like it's just it was winning the lottery for me.
And it took so long and it came. You know,
my dad died, My parents got diagnosed with cancer one
week apart, and my dad died, and the next month
I got pregnant naturally at forty three, So I feel
it was like a spiritual miracle. I was told I
had a one percent chance of getting pregnant, so I
(04:20):
believe in all that. So it was one percent, but
I was just going to say that. At some point,
I thought I have to be an interesting person for
my child, and I have in no way sacrifice anything,
because she's given me everything in raising her and being
with her. But I want her to have a passion
in her life that she loves and a purpose. She's fourteen,
(04:41):
and I feel like it's my purpose to be a comedian,
and now after having done it for so long, I'm
not trying to get a special I'm not trying to
get a TV show. I'm not doing it for anything
other than the fact that if I go in a
room and at the end of that hour, I've elevated
anybody in any way to be in a happier place,
I feel like my job's done, and I feel like
that's what we need to be doing. I feel like
concentrating on what we have in common as people again
(05:04):
like to sort of reunite us. And I also think
my mom didn't have a voice at this age. I'm
never going to give up mine, and there are women
my age that exists that are thriving that need to
see themselves being spoken about. How is it different now
than when you started in terms of being on stage. Well,
you could say anything on stage in nineteen eighty nine,
and now you know you have to be socially respectful,
(05:27):
and it's just it's very different. But also stand ups
how I process my life. The audience is sort of
therapy and we figure out what's going on. And I
always say this, but the only reason I was successful
is I thought it was so unique. It' because I'm
not in anyone unique. I'm exactly like everybody else. That's
exactly like everyone else. But when I first started, I
wanted to talk about sex. Then I want to talk
(05:49):
about everything that women are traditionally not supposed to talk about.
That's what I want to talk about. I remember being
called the Liz Fair of comedy and I thought, wow,
that's like the biggest compliment. You know how to clean right,
And I'm assuming because you've done a lot of network
stuff you have to play a clean like Tina. They
taught me that. She said, this is harder with standards,
and because we have to find another way to say
(06:10):
it right. We can't be dropping the F bomb and
everything all the time. I don't know what your most
famous thing is, but like if I say you're a name,
to a man, they immediately say Glen Gary, Glenn Ross. Yeah,
but for me it was Sabrina, which is what you're
most known for, which I will be forever grateful for.
But all of a sudden, I had eight year olds
in the audience, and I remember saying to them, do
you know what boundaries are? And they said yes, I
(06:31):
go because your parents don't. And then I thought, okay,
now I have to change my ACCT because I'm never
going to teach a child something it's parents. Their parents
haven't taught them. You're not their parents now. So then
I then I sort of adjusted my act and I
would say, I don't know, it's probably more for everybody now.
I just like writing a joke about something like I
wrote a joke that if you date someone in the military,
(06:53):
I didn't know this, but after sex, the protocol as
you're supposed to say thank you for your servant, I said,
and I did it. He was an army ranger, so
I think he had intimacy issues with After sex, I
went to the bathroom and he parachuted out of the window.
So like, to me, that's processing something that actually happened.
I'm not going to go into nitty gritty detail anymore.
(07:13):
Probably maybe if I was in a group full of
just women, because women speak in the most intricate, disgusting
way about sex that you have no idea. You're more like, oh,
her whatever. But we're like, we could do a court
sketch of any penis we've ever been told about. Yeah,
but when you're out there now, like when you started
describe your first stand up comedy gigs, this was in
(07:34):
Canada before you came here. I never did in Canada
because you know, you can't be a prophet in your
own town. I moved to New York. Scott Blakeman taught
a class at the New School to called stand up comedy.
And then the first time I went on stage was
at the Comic Strip, and I had all these Australian
friends who were completely broke, who are now like giant
titans of business who you know, sold their companies for
(07:54):
hundreds of millions of dollars. And then like, really, because
I paid for every dinner in the nineties, And as
I walked on stage and John Wiley said, you're really bad,
and I'm like, I'm not even at the mic yet.
It's like in Ireland they heckle you on the way
like you're a fat I'm I'm not at the mic yet,
you can't pre echo me. And then I just remember
standing there and doing it, and I thought, I have
no idea where I am or what I'm doing, like
(08:15):
I said, And then I just said, I can't imagine
how many times you're at your job and you get
up and look around and go, I have no idea
what I'm doing here or where I am. Oh, I'm
a dentist, whatever it is. I just and then that
was it. And then I went on stage probably five
hundred times a year for the next few years, going
to every open mic possible. My sister could lip sync
my act from the back of the room. She was
(08:35):
so supportive. It's funny the performance. Jean, Did you know
you were a performer back then when you were in Canada? Oh? Yeah,
I mean I was always in plays and I was
always sort of I think that's the thing about a
stand up. Before they get on a stage they're doing
those poor people that they grow up with have heard
their material all the time. There's something that is triggered
in me. If there's you know, more than a certain
(08:56):
amount of people you know, it wakes up in me
that and if it's a thousand strangers, then it really
wakes up at me. It's a weird thing. It is
that complete love of performing. Billy Joel came on the
show in one of our earliest shows he did. Billy
Joel comes on the show and he says that, you know,
one of the conditions of his success is everywhere he goes,
(09:18):
people are like, Billy, do you mind it's Christmas? Just
a couple of tunes. We just had it tuned. The
pianos right over here. Just a couple of songs, please, Like,
everywhere he goes, if this a piano in the room,
everybody's like, Billy, does everybody ask you to do the
wedding toast? Do they ask you to do the you know?
Are you always asked to get up and be funny? Yes?
(09:40):
Which is like literally the only thing that will make
me not funny. So the first place you go from
Canada when you come to the US as where New
York City? You go to New York I moved by
I can't remember if it was eighty five or eighty seven.
I was flying back from Tucson, where my dad lived.
Sitting next to this very gorgeous model who was talking
(10:01):
to me about his famous brother who was on Notts Landing. Oh, no, Billy.
It was with Billy. And then we shared a cab home.
I was on the opprest side, he was on the
breast side, and I was so mesmerized by him, handsome,
he was. I left all of my luggage in the cab. Yeah.
So when you come to New York, is it hard?
That's terribly hard. It's awful. Was it hard to break in? Yes?
(10:23):
I felt like New York was a giant balloon and
I had a cotton ball And I remember my friend
Norm McDonald was on Letterman and he brought me with him,
and I remember sitting backstage the old Letterman, Yeah, the
early nineties, And I remember sitting backstage and Christy Turlington
was the other guest, and there were these giant cookies
with jam in them. About the fact that that's what
(10:43):
I remember from Letterman, right, the treats in the green room.
And then I remember just thinking I just want to
be a part of whatever this is. I need to
And it was like I was invisible. Nobody would even
you know, like talk to me basically, and I was
just there for norm sitting in the back and then
arding him and Melissa Ethritz was the other guest too,
and I was like, I just want to be this
(11:04):
is this is all I want. And I loved Letterman
so much. That was very hard. It was very hard.
It was. And then I went on the road and
did colleges and I would just cry and I would
call my sisters or support. It was just really hard
because the thing about comedy that's so hard is that
you're so seemingly connected to people and then you are alone,
you know, and then you're alone in your room. You
(11:25):
were with so many people. And I fully understand now,
like to me, the understanding of an extrovert and an introvert.
My friend Peter Johnson is like an expert in this,
and he said, an expert it's someone who really finds
energy from other people. That's their life source. And an
introvert is ultimately drained by being around too many people.
And I am truly an extrovert. I can't even get
(11:46):
something done if I'm alone, But if someone's in the
other room, I can function really well. Wow. But if
I'm alone, I'm like, hmm, no, But you have such
a command on stage, Like, there are people who come
up and you know you're not Stephen right right, Well,
I couldn't even find you inside the wallpaper. They could
all blends together in terms of his personality. But he's
very funny. He's incredibly funny. But you are an entertainer
(12:10):
of the old school, where you're up there and right
away first of all, and I told them this before
you came here. I go, this woman is. Everybody loves you.
Everybody loves you. You have an energy. You walk on
and you don't even open your mouth and you're halfway home.
People just adore you. There's a warmth, there's a love,
there's a graciousness. They know they're going to see a
(12:31):
good show. You have a persona before you even start
telling jokes. Did you have to find that a warmth?
I sound so sappy, but I am genuinely so happy
to be there, and especially after COVID, I'm so grateful
to be there, and that the fact that I've been
doing this long and an audience is still coming to
see me. I am so happy to see them, you know.
But you're most comfortable when you're on stage. Probably you
(12:52):
really love it. Yeah, I feel like I always think
my stand up as a dinner party. I know what
I'm gonna make, you're my guests. I don't know what's
going to happen. But the thing about stand up that
amazes me is it's only going to happen in that
moment in time. Even if we film it, it's never
gonna be what it feels like live. So I think
it's just an exchange of energy. Now, you were in
New York, went out to kept the apartment in New York,
(13:13):
finally gave up the apartment of New York, and you're
living in LA what's the difference for you, because I
have my theory about that. What's the difference for me? Well,
the difference to me is that there's so many more
actors out there than there are in New York. Like,
every time I see a picture of you in your Instagram,
you're like, you know, hey, it's me and so and so.
You're like at this eventure, this party, and it's very
social in the business. There's a lot of opportunities at benefits.
(13:35):
It's in a giant office, That's what Los Angeles is.
It's a giant office, but I'm really there more as
like I don't need to live there anymore. I mean,
it's just that my daughter's in school there now and
she's connected to that. And even though I lived in
New York for thirty years, I come back and it's
the boyfriend who I loved more than anything. But I
know why we broke up, Like, I don't want to
live here anymore. It's too many people. Yeah, I feel chlaustrophobic.
(13:59):
And then when I'm out there, I'm like, stop talking
about hiking. I don't care. Yeah, it's just it's such
like I just can't believe you're talking about hiking and
how the hike was, how it was just walking up
a hill with rocks. Stop talking about it. It's just torture.
But I think about that because because most of my
friends who were living here moved there in the nineties.
They're all out there. They're all there. They're all there.
(14:20):
I mean, New York is where you come and live
because you either don't care or you've made your name
known well enough when they'll confine you if they want you.
But for me, I see on your Instagram, and I'm
not saying in a judgmental way, I'm saying you remind
me about how out there you could go out every
night to an event of screening, and I hate doing that.
I only have to do that for my social stuff.
(14:40):
I just you know, it's just yeah, I don't I
could care less about going to those things. I really could.
I'd much father sit and have a small dinner party
with somebody that I super interesting. How did your work
change once you had a child? I mean, who you
are before you have a child and who you are
afterwards is completely different. My sons are just I don't
(15:02):
know what to do in terms of theirs. They have
all this energy. They don't go to sleep, They collapse.
I don't know how. I mean, if I had a boy,
I would have had a nervous breakdown. I always think
of you because Ava couldn't say certain letters when she
was like a baby. You know, she couldn't say ell.
You know how when they go through phases where they're
like and I remember, sure we'll called water wad and
an orange or none. And I was like, don't ever
(15:23):
correct her because it's so adorable. But the little boy
killing that lived across the hall, who was like, you know,
they got married at age three. He was obsessed with
Thomas the tank, your show my magnum opus, Yes, your
magnum opus, and he couldn't say ours, so he would
always say do you want to play with pussy instead
of Percy? And she had a big pink clock and
(15:45):
she was like, do you want to play with my
big pink cock? And I was like, this is the
most horrifying soundtrack I find. Okay, I'm not the Queen
of boundaries anyway. I think Ava was seven when she
came home and said, we learned a new word today.
I don't know what it means. And I go, well,
how do you spell it? And oh, like, yes, you've
never heard it at this house. So I think one
(16:06):
being a single parent, I overcompensate because you know, she's
with me the most of the I mean, she has
a lovely father, but she's with me most of the time.
I've always said to where I go, if we do
all the yeses, they're far fewer knows, like, if you
do everything you're supposed to do, I will say no,
probably much less than the average parent. How are you
(16:26):
with your daughter about media? We were great until we
went to Australia and I did the Melbourne Comedy Festival
and then I was like, she's going to get something
electronic to, you know, so that she can be distracted.
I regret it terribly, I really do, because I think
that we're all so addicted to it, you know. I mean,
I lost my iPhone recently and they were three of
(16:48):
the happiest days of my life. You know. It's nice
to be disconnected in the summer, no electronics until six
and we're all together, like my sisters and all the
we are all together as a family. So I like
that now, you do, Sabrina, Yes, and when I'm want
to talk about that in a little detail about what
that experience was like, because that's a classic TV show,
(17:09):
you know what I mean. And that's all I ever
wanted to do was be on a sitcom, That's all
I mean. I have this thought that many people have,
which is that you know, these things are now on forever,
you know, I know, if you're one of the stars
of Friends or Seinfeld, it's like that's going to just
follow you around forever. Sabrina has been on television every
day somewhere since the two thousand and then. Amazing. Yeah,
(17:30):
And what was that experience like for you? Did you
love it from the beginning. It's so funny. I have
this horrible, horrible boyfriend and we went to Hawaii. This
is pre cell phones or whatever. It's the old, like
ever your pictures developed, And I said it and we
broke up before the pictures were developed. And I was
like so devastated by this. And I was sitting in
the Upper West Side and I got this phone call
(17:51):
from Neil Scovell, who created Sabrina, and she said, are
you sure you won't reconsider the part? And I'm like, now,
I have no idea what you're talking about. My managers
had never forwarded it to me. Weeks before, well, they'd
never forwarded it to me. They'd passed on it. I
knew nothing about it. And she said, will you please
you know we're casting this week. I'm going to send
(18:13):
you the script. And it was so long ago that
she sent it, and it was printed on like it
looked like it came on a scroll from like Yeo's exactly,
because so I went across the street all the curled papers.
I read the script immediately, I'm like, oh my god,
I absolutely want to do this. I want to be Zelda,
which was not who I was. And she said we're
really thinking of view is Hilda And I said, well,
(18:34):
tell me about the character and she said she traps
a man in her ring for not loving her. And
I literally said, yeah, I'll do that. I'll do the
part because I had heartbroken. Yeah, I was like, I
just was like, I want this guy trapped in a ring.
That's literally what I said. And then I flew out,
and you know you. I did the first test and
then I went to producers and then they sent me
to the network and I had just done a pilot
(18:56):
that for some reason, it's just for that network. Now.
For see, I'd done a pilot that didn't get picked up.
It was called Daisy's Mom, about being a single mother
to a girl. And I was like, everything in my
life I always came it always came true in some
element was something I was playing. It was weird. And
then I went to network and I was like, you
know what, this show is going to be on the
(19:16):
air forever. I don't want to do this. I don't
think I can do this. So I left my network
test and they were so bad. Yeah, I left it.
I'm like, I'm not signing. That's the quickest way to
get hired. By the way, it's exactly what you show.
Go to hell. I just had this panic and I
don't know what I was thinking, and I flew home
(19:36):
and then they immediately called me and said, you don't
have to test. You can have the part. You know,
you just can you let us know and then you
could just have to fly out and do like a
chemistry tester with whoever's going to play your sister, but
please come. And I was such an idiot. I was like,
now an I want to And then I remember my
mother called me and said, good lord, that's not like
they've asked you to be a bricklayer. Don't be such
(19:58):
an idiot. You're appointing me exactly. She disappointed her. So
then so then I took the job. And then of
course I went to the psychic and he said, the
show that you're starting in September will be on the
air for seven years, which it was. I stand on
it for six, but it was it was there for seven.
It was the greatest thing that's probably ever happened to
me in many ways because and this is really hooking,
(20:21):
but it was like, what a gift to be able
to entertain kids, right, and like in an adult show
that was the loyal audience, powered by women about powerful women.
The only objective my character ever had was she was
six hundred years old and she had a playmate. And
the only thing I ever thought and ever scene is
you love this kid. You just love her and you
have someone to like, play with and be silly with.
(20:47):
Caroline Ray. If you enjoy conversations with hilarious women, check
out my episode with Paula Powell. I used to write
a sketch called six Degrees Celsius and it was like
a boy group and Will Farrell was their manager. They
had tinted glasses of course, you know. It was Jimmy
Fallon and Chris Katan and Chris Parnell and they were
(21:08):
a boy group. And then we'd have the host in it. Well,
that week in Sync was there. We asked and Sync
to be another boy group in this competition on the show,
playing a fake boy group, And so I wrote a
song called hold the Pickle and they were like McDonald's employees,
and so in Sync came out with like McDonald's outfits
on and saying hold the pit gull and they're so
(21:30):
they were so crazy talented, like they got there and
looked at it for ten minutes and had full harmonies
and full choreography. I mean, they threw that shit together.
I was just amazed to hear more of my conversation
with Paula pelle Go to Here's the Thing dot Org.
After the break, Carol Line Ray shares the gifts that
working on Sabrina the Teenage which has brought into her life.
(22:04):
I'm not like Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the Thing.
When Caroline Ray was hired on Sabrina the Teenage, which
she had already done years of stand up, I wanted
to know if her comedic background brought about any improvisation
on set that was not a big improvised show. They
were pretty, they were they were very nice about But
I had done a lot of pilots, and I had
(22:25):
done I had done a series that had lasted six
episodes and was canceled with a nineteen share. So now
I feel like I'm actually writing a pilot because I
want to be able to write my voice, which I
you know, it's fun. I like acting. I like playing
a character, but I think I want to do that too.
Four camera, yeah, four camera, yeah, you're gonna be on it.
(22:46):
I haven't told you yet, but I'll play Carlton the doormat. Yeah. Now,
but you are you really working on this right now? Yes?
I am. Did I answer the question about Sabrina. I
I don't know if I did. It followed Sabrina yet
everywhere I've been called a witch in every country. Yeah,
it's amazing. But you know what, I've also been able
to walk into the wall to read and see soldiers.
I've been able to go into children's hospitals. I've been
(23:07):
able to be sort of you know, it's in its
fourth generation of like little girls who come up and
hug me. You know, it's nice to be on something
that was sort of a good like you can watch
that show. And I've watched so much children's television now
because of my daughter. I didn't watch an episode of
Sabrina until Ava was seven. Wow, and then we watched
an episode every night. But I remember, and I'm sure
(23:29):
you've had this experience. I remember when I had done
a Sesame Street video and Ava saw me on television
and then she asked me one day, she goes, Mummy,
are you the same mummy as you are as that
person on television is that person on television also my mummy.
I was like, it's a very confusing way to put that,
but yeah, all forms of me and any any image
(23:51):
of me is still your mummy. Talk to me about astrology.
Why did you become interested in an astrology? I don't know.
I think it's because always look, I grew up with
a very open minded family who we had a ghost
in our house and it wasn't scary. It was just
sort of accepted, and we were big believers in the unseen.
And I think it's just anything that's like a further
(24:11):
understanding of what it's just like breaking down a character
in a play, right, like who they are. You're an aries,
You're full aries. You're such aries energy. You know what
the condition of the aries is, don't you? How lonely
it is? Being right all the time. Really, that's pretty capricorn.
That's my wife. That's my wife. I should have brought
you my cards, did I know? I've sent them to you.
(24:32):
The original one for arias I had to put for Queries,
which was dear Aries, your compliment hurt my feelings were.
So if you're talking to another areas, you don't get
hurt feelings because you know exactly what you're saying, but
I'm sure, Yeah, we've heard a lot of people's feelings
done intentionally. Let's get to the point. Yeah, what's the point?
Fast forward? Blah blah blah, what are you trying to
say saying? I'll say to exactly I will say to
my sister, and I'll see to numerous people in my
(24:55):
family has this and today's Saint Patrick's say they've got
this Irish disease. Where I'll talk to him and I'll go, oh,
I heard that Jerry's daughter was in a car accident.
They'll go, well, you know Jerry. Now I remember that
time with Jerry, and we got to loop around oh yeah,
like six spins around the track before we finally get
to the point. And I will just talk to my
family and go, wait, wait, wait, wait, what happened to
(25:15):
Jerry's daughter. That's how this began. And then and they
never get to the point. I have a really funny
memory with you two before we were friends. So it
was nineteen ninety six and I was sitting happily in
first class in my first class seat, I fell asleep
and I thought we had arrived in LA And They're
like We're sorry for the Serira delay, but this plane
is broken. You know, we'll get you on another plane soon.
(25:38):
And we ended up getting I had to take a
flight that I had to fly coach. That day. I
had gone to look at an apartment with my sister
in New York and the girl who answered the door said,
you know you're intelligent. That's weird. This is Ted Danson's
old apartment. I go, that's weird, and she goes and
I was the original Maryland on the Munsters. No, yeah,
this woman blonde, she was married, Yeah, she was, so
(25:59):
that that happened. And then I go to the airport
and I'm sitting next to Georgia Engel from marriage other Moore. Yes,
and I'm sitting next to her, and that was like
another throwback, right, And then I finally get on the
plane and I walk by and in my seat from
the previous flight is now a very heavily bearded Alec
Baldwin in my exact seat, who I did not know.
(26:19):
And I was like, oh, so annoying that you're in
my seat. And I'm not not that it was you,
just that I was I was like in thirty seven. Eh.
And then when we Land. Aaron Murphy comes up to
me and says, Hi, We're kind of related. And I said,
how so? And she said, I was Tabitha on Bewitch.
This is all in the same day. And then she said,
and this is my friend. He was Ernie on My
Three Sons. I'm like, when did this plane leave? This
(26:41):
is like the longest delay. Right behind her was Greg
Evigan from BJ and the Bear. I mean that was
the celebrity that was the TV celebrity flight. Yeah. I
just watched a movie with Greg Evigan's daughter in it. No, Yeah,
she's beautiful. She looks exactly Greg Egan. Yeah, very handsome
leading man Gregory Harrison, who had a great career in TV.
(27:01):
He was the one that said the thing that really
kind of changed my acting career in a way. He said,
I walked into the audition and I stopped pretending like
I was doing them a favor. He said, you called
me here. I'm here for a reason. I'm like, oh God,
thank you so much, and like being so needy. He said,
you want something I have. Now I want something you have,
(27:24):
which is the power to cast people in a show.
But I got something you you want as well. And
once I stopped asking, like they were doing me a
favor and were that I had something of value as well.
And I walked into and I was like a grown man, going,
what what do you want me to play? What? What
do you want me to do? Right? And and that
that imbued him with a kind of a confidence. I
always tell these young comics, I'm like, just remember that
(27:46):
manager and that agent work for you, right. You don't
have to please them. You're not like afraid of the
they are making money off your talent. Your talent, you're
very kindly said that I had a command on stage.
And I read a review that Malcolm Gladwell had written
about a book, and he said she wrote in a
(28:07):
manner in which she was saying, don't you dare take
your eyes off this page? And I remember reading that
and it gave me, you know, like, even though I've
done this for so long, you're always learning something new.
And I have this thing in my head now where
I'm like, don't you dare take your eyes off me?
Don't you dare? I have something to share with you,
and it's really important that I get this message across.
(28:29):
And I too think that now when I'm on stage
comedian and actor Caroline Ray. If you're enjoying this conversation,
tell a friend and be sure to follow Here's the
Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Spotify, or wherever you get
your podcasts. When we come back, Caroline shares the one
(28:50):
time she completely bombed on stage. I'm Alec Baldwin and
you're listening to Here's the Thing. After three decades in
(29:12):
movies and television, Caroline Ray is a back performing stand
up in front of live audiences across the country. I
wanted to know why the comedy club stage remains such
a magnetic draw for her. I think one of the
things that to me still so exciting about comedy is like,
I remember when I first moved to New York, I thought,
(29:33):
I don't know where my gift is from. I don't
know what this is. It's not tangible. It's not like
I memorized actuarial tables and I can go be an accountant.
I don't know where this is. It's something that comes
from a place that I don't you know, I can't
see it. And then the longer I've done it, the
more is like you are going to trust that your
gift is there and you're sort of channeling it like
(29:55):
wherever it's coming from. I think it's funny that your
mother was an obstetrician, your father was a guy in college.
That's funny is the magazines that came to your house,
of professional periodicals that came to your house were probably
just unsettling. My father had I had a pen in
the second grade that was for the pill, and it
was like a little pill that went up and down.
I had no we had all those things. We had
(30:16):
like Gina lotraman, notepads, no idea what they were. The
most hilarious is that when because my dad was also
medical director at Planned Parenthood, and my slutty friends in
college would call up and say, can you ask your
father if you can get herpies from giving a blowjob?
But don't don't say it's for me. Says for you,
and I'm like, I dance for me. I mean the
(30:36):
seventh time I asked, my father's like, good God, what
are you doing at that school? Exactly? Now? When did
you first sense that things had changed and this cancel
culture thing was coming and people started to change their
acts and the contents of their Did you become aware
of that at a certain point. I think when Louie
sort of got canceled overnight, right, and it was very
(30:58):
conflicting because he's such an old friend of mine, right,
and about getting into details. When you see someone being canceled, yeah, well,
but but why they're canceled. I mean, there's people who
get canceled and I don't get it. Yeah, Now, Louis,
when you understand what happened, you ask yourself, well, does
he deserve it to be canceled? I mean, when you
(31:18):
do that, well, it was very wrong what he did.
I don't know. People make mistakes all the time. I
don't think their lives should be judged one one event
that they've made a terrible choice in. I don't. I mean,
but when that happened, that's when you saw it like
a turning point. Yeah, and then I thought, and then
I was very conscious of you know, you do have
to be respectful of where society is going. You have
(31:39):
to be able to honor what people think and say
without you know, losing your own individual take on things.
What's the worst experience you ever had on stage? I'll
tell you right now. It was when I had to
perform at a wedding. I was dressed as a bridesmaid
and they weren't expecting me at their request, and yeah,
it was the worst experience. All of the saliva left
(32:03):
my body and it was just me horrible. And then
when the woman paid, man, I thought she was giving
me a paper cup with the chick it was and
it was like the first five hundred dollars I'd ever made.
And I was just, Oh, nobody's bombing at a wedding
where they're not expecting you, and they just oh, oh,
I still I'm having a flashback. Horrible, horrible, horrible. What
are among your favorite cities to perform? And what's a
(32:24):
city where you just almost invert? And I'm on my
way there because I'm gonna film a special there in May.
What's a special? I can't say, I can't say. What
do you think of this as a title. I'm trying
not to hate man. I think that's just gonna make
every man hate you even more. I just I seriously
don't understand, man, and I'd like to They won't hate you,
but they're gonna go clicks. We used to say, turn
the dial. I think men listen to these comics and
(32:46):
they'd be like, you know, what would the world be
like if there were no men? We don't need man. No,
I'm not talking about that. You've always been hypersensitive about
being a man. I've noticed that you are. You're always like,
so hard, I'm not going to take all I remember.
You're like, I'm not going to have somebody else's bad
experience projected onto me, and like, oh, yes you are,
because you're a very handsome movie star. Well, I think
(33:09):
that's the you know, for men, they're always like, why
do you understand women? Do I understand women? Yeah? I
think I do in terms of you're very loving and
kind with your wife. Well, if I'm not as hell
to pay, my kids will look at me and go,
don't you talk to mommy that way? I love that.
I'm like, when did my kids become my wife's legal team?
(33:31):
I'm like her lawyer. God, that's mom. But what is
the difference you think between the relationship between mother and father?
Just innately, like from birth on? How do you think
it differ from what I consider a great line my
dad gave me. He goes parent He says, parented it
as a competition between two people where the father always wins.
The bronze medal. Oh my god, Yeah, the mother was
(33:52):
the gold and the silver. You come in third in
a competition between two people, you're a third. But when
then in Canada, when we grew up in the Olympics,
we thought brons was the highest you could right, But
let me just stop with this. I want to say
I love you whenever I hear from you, whenever I
talk to that energy of yours that's made everybody love you.
Everybody loves you, everybody loves you. What's your wrap up?
(34:13):
That I love you and that you're a great man,
and that everything's going to be okay, and you're a
great dad and you make the world a better place.
My thanks to my dear friend Caroline Ray. This episode
was recorded at CDM Studios in New York City. We're
produced by Kathleen Russo, Zach McNeice, and Maureen hoban Ow.
(34:35):
Our engineer is Frank Imperial. Our social media manager is
Danielle Gingwich. I'm Alec Baldwin. Here's the thing is brought
to you by iHeart Radio.
This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the
Thing from iHeart Radio. My guest today is famous for
playing a witch and keeping us in stitches. Actor, comedian,
and my dear friend, Caroline Ray. The Canadian born performer,
came up as a stand up comic in New York City,
(00:26):
working in the Bloomingdale's Perfume counter by day and performing
open mics at night. In the nineties, she moved to
Los Angeles and soon after landed the television role that
would make her famous, Aunt Hilda in Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Since then, she has taken her talent many places, performing
(00:46):
stand up on Comedy Central, HBO, and Showtime, helming The
Caroline Ray Show, hosting The Biggest Loser, voicing the Disney Channels,
Phineas and Ferb, and appearing as a panelist on game
shows like Hollywoo with Squeers and With Me on Match Game.
Yet Ray always comes back to her first love. She
(01:07):
recently got back on the road performing stand up across
the country. But don't let the perky, smile and buoyant
personality fool you. Her humor can be body. It's hard
to pick a name like, I wanted to name her
Emmy because I've always wanted an Emmy, And but when
we were trying to pick her middle name, it was
like everybody was giving a suggestion. So someone said what
(01:29):
about Lily, And I'm like, no, that's like a poled answer,
absolutely not. And no one said what about Marie? And
I'm like, my mother's like, that's so Catholic. Like oh,
and so my daughter's father's mother said well, what about Gina,
And everyone's like that's so pretty, and I'm like, hello, Ava,
Gina is not going to be my daughter's name now.
(01:52):
Caroline Ray had her daughter Ava in two thousand and
eight and took ten years off of her career to
focus on raising her. I wanted to know what that
time of her life was like. I did stand up,
but I would do it. I would do occasional corporates
and I would but I would cut way back. I
would maybe go on the road two or three times
(02:12):
a year, but I would do stand up locally. But no,
I really thought I was like lucky enough to have
a baby as old as I was, and I was not.
There was nothing at the time that was going to
be more interesting than she was at a comedy club
and I felt like I'd already been there. And then
when she was about two and a half, I was like,
I have to go on stage right now. And then
I did a special, so I worked on that. But
(02:33):
I would say in the last year, I've done more
stand up than I have in fifteen years. I'm like,
every night I'm at the comedy store or the improv
doing something I don't know. After COVID, I thought I'd
never do it again, and then I got COVID and
I was like, Okay, it's not as bad, and then
I ran to a stage as quickly as possible. But
it's weird. It's it doesn't matter what I do. That
(02:54):
is where I'm happiest. Yeah, what is what is your
happiest like of all the things you do? Being in
a movie? Probably right, no no no, no no no,
a plate or this. I like doing this. I mean,
we do this and we're not trust me, we're not
getting rich to in this podcast. But you were brilliantly
funny as a game show host too. You take off
(03:16):
when you just said that about nothing is interesting in
a comedy club as this. I said, to watch the
Journey of human development, day by day, up close the
good and the bad. Because my kids are either uproariously
funny or I want to throw them off the balcony.
There's just nothing I found that could be placed. Though.
Did you find that when you after that period, when
(03:37):
did you decide you were going to go back into
it hard charging in full time? Well, at some point
I thought, I'm like, I call it a MoMA. It's
like a mom coma. Or you're just in it, you
know what I mean. That's what you're doing. You're being
a mom or you're being a dad, and you're being
it so fully, and every minute of that is the greatest.
Like I feel like my life went from like at
(03:58):
a great life and the minute ever was born into
technicolor like it's just it was winning the lottery for me.
And it took so long and it came. You know,
my dad died, My parents got diagnosed with cancer one
week apart, and my dad died, and the next month
I got pregnant naturally at forty three, So I feel
it was like a spiritual miracle. I was told I
had a one percent chance of getting pregnant, so I
(04:20):
believe in all that. So it was one percent, but
I was just going to say that. At some point,
I thought I have to be an interesting person for
my child, and I have in no way sacrifice anything,
because she's given me everything in raising her and being
with her. But I want her to have a passion
in her life that she loves and a purpose. She's fourteen,
(04:41):
and I feel like it's my purpose to be a comedian,
and now after having done it for so long, I'm
not trying to get a special I'm not trying to
get a TV show. I'm not doing it for anything
other than the fact that if I go in a
room and at the end of that hour, I've elevated
anybody in any way to be in a happier place,
I feel like my job's done, and I feel like
that's what we need to be doing. I feel like
concentrating on what we have in common as people again
(05:04):
like to sort of reunite us. And I also think
my mom didn't have a voice at this age. I'm
never going to give up mine, and there are women
my age that exists that are thriving that need to
see themselves being spoken about. How is it different now
than when you started in terms of being on stage. Well,
you could say anything on stage in nineteen eighty nine,
and now you know you have to be socially respectful,
(05:27):
and it's just it's very different. But also stand ups
how I process my life. The audience is sort of
therapy and we figure out what's going on. And I
always say this, but the only reason I was successful
is I thought it was so unique. It' because I'm
not in anyone unique. I'm exactly like everybody else. That's
exactly like everyone else. But when I first started, I
wanted to talk about sex. Then I want to talk
(05:49):
about everything that women are traditionally not supposed to talk about.
That's what I want to talk about. I remember being
called the Liz Fair of comedy and I thought, wow,
that's like the biggest compliment. You know how to clean right,
And I'm assuming because you've done a lot of network
stuff you have to play a clean like Tina. They
taught me that. She said, this is harder with standards,
and because we have to find another way to say
(06:10):
it right. We can't be dropping the F bomb and
everything all the time. I don't know what your most
famous thing is, but like if I say you're a name,
to a man, they immediately say Glen Gary, Glenn Ross. Yeah,
but for me it was Sabrina, which is what you're
most known for, which I will be forever grateful for.
But all of a sudden, I had eight year olds
in the audience, and I remember saying to them, do
you know what boundaries are? And they said yes, I
(06:31):
go because your parents don't. And then I thought, okay,
now I have to change my ACCT because I'm never
going to teach a child something it's parents. Their parents
haven't taught them. You're not their parents now. So then
I then I sort of adjusted my act and I
would say, I don't know, it's probably more for everybody now.
I just like writing a joke about something like I
wrote a joke that if you date someone in the military,
(06:53):
I didn't know this, but after sex, the protocol as
you're supposed to say thank you for your servant, I said,
and I did it. He was an army ranger, so
I think he had intimacy issues with After sex, I
went to the bathroom and he parachuted out of the window.
So like, to me, that's processing something that actually happened.
I'm not going to go into nitty gritty detail anymore.
(07:13):
Probably maybe if I was in a group full of
just women, because women speak in the most intricate, disgusting
way about sex that you have no idea. You're more like, oh,
her whatever. But we're like, we could do a court
sketch of any penis we've ever been told about. Yeah,
but when you're out there now, like when you started
describe your first stand up comedy gigs, this was in
(07:34):
Canada before you came here. I never did in Canada
because you know, you can't be a prophet in your
own town. I moved to New York. Scott Blakeman taught
a class at the New School to called stand up comedy.
And then the first time I went on stage was
at the Comic Strip, and I had all these Australian
friends who were completely broke, who are now like giant
titans of business who you know, sold their companies for
(07:54):
hundreds of millions of dollars. And then like, really, because
I paid for every dinner in the nineties, And as
I walked on stage and John Wiley said, you're really bad,
and I'm like, I'm not even at the mic yet.
It's like in Ireland they heckle you on the way
like you're a fat I'm I'm not at the mic yet,
you can't pre echo me. And then I just remember
standing there and doing it, and I thought, I have
no idea where I am or what I'm doing, like
(08:15):
I said, And then I just said, I can't imagine
how many times you're at your job and you get
up and look around and go, I have no idea
what I'm doing here or where I am. Oh, I'm
a dentist, whatever it is. I just and then that
was it. And then I went on stage probably five
hundred times a year for the next few years, going
to every open mic possible. My sister could lip sync
my act from the back of the room. She was
(08:35):
so supportive. It's funny the performance. Jean, Did you know
you were a performer back then when you were in Canada? Oh? Yeah,
I mean I was always in plays and I was
always sort of I think that's the thing about a
stand up. Before they get on a stage they're doing
those poor people that they grow up with have heard
their material all the time. There's something that is triggered
in me. If there's you know, more than a certain
(08:56):
amount of people you know, it wakes up in me
that and if it's a thousand strangers, then it really
wakes up at me. It's a weird thing. It is
that complete love of performing. Billy Joel came on the
show in one of our earliest shows he did. Billy
Joel comes on the show and he says that, you know,
one of the conditions of his success is everywhere he goes,
(09:18):
people are like, Billy, do you mind it's Christmas? Just
a couple of tunes. We just had it tuned. The
pianos right over here. Just a couple of songs, please, Like,
everywhere he goes, if this a piano in the room,
everybody's like, Billy, does everybody ask you to do the
wedding toast? Do they ask you to do the you know?
Are you always asked to get up and be funny? Yes?
(09:40):
Which is like literally the only thing that will make
me not funny. So the first place you go from
Canada when you come to the US as where New
York City? You go to New York I moved by
I can't remember if it was eighty five or eighty seven.
I was flying back from Tucson, where my dad lived.
Sitting next to this very gorgeous model who was talking
(10:01):
to me about his famous brother who was on Notts Landing. Oh, no, Billy.
It was with Billy. And then we shared a cab home.
I was on the opprest side, he was on the
breast side, and I was so mesmerized by him, handsome,
he was. I left all of my luggage in the cab. Yeah.
So when you come to New York, is it hard?
That's terribly hard. It's awful. Was it hard to break in? Yes?
(10:23):
I felt like New York was a giant balloon and
I had a cotton ball And I remember my friend
Norm McDonald was on Letterman and he brought me with him,
and I remember sitting backstage the old Letterman, Yeah, the
early nineties, And I remember sitting backstage and Christy Turlington
was the other guest, and there were these giant cookies
with jam in them. About the fact that that's what
(10:43):
I remember from Letterman, right, the treats in the green room.
And then I remember just thinking I just want to
be a part of whatever this is. I need to
And it was like I was invisible. Nobody would even
you know, like talk to me basically, and I was
just there for norm sitting in the back and then
arding him and Melissa Ethritz was the other guest too,
and I was like, I just want to be this
(11:04):
is this is all I want. And I loved Letterman
so much. That was very hard. It was very hard.
It was. And then I went on the road and
did colleges and I would just cry and I would
call my sisters or support. It was just really hard
because the thing about comedy that's so hard is that
you're so seemingly connected to people and then you are alone,
you know, and then you're alone in your room. You
(11:25):
were with so many people. And I fully understand now,
like to me, the understanding of an extrovert and an introvert.
My friend Peter Johnson is like an expert in this,
and he said, an expert it's someone who really finds
energy from other people. That's their life source. And an
introvert is ultimately drained by being around too many people.
And I am truly an extrovert. I can't even get
(11:46):
something done if I'm alone, But if someone's in the
other room, I can function really well. Wow. But if
I'm alone, I'm like, hmm, no, But you have such
a command on stage, Like, there are people who come
up and you know you're not Stephen right right, Well,
I couldn't even find you inside the wallpaper. They could
all blends together in terms of his personality. But he's
very funny. He's incredibly funny. But you are an entertainer
(12:10):
of the old school, where you're up there and right
away first of all, and I told them this before
you came here. I go, this woman is. Everybody loves you.
Everybody loves you. You have an energy. You walk on
and you don't even open your mouth and you're halfway home.
People just adore you. There's a warmth, there's a love,
there's a graciousness. They know they're going to see a
(12:31):
good show. You have a persona before you even start
telling jokes. Did you have to find that a warmth?
I sound so sappy, but I am genuinely so happy
to be there, and especially after COVID, I'm so grateful
to be there, and that the fact that I've been
doing this long and an audience is still coming to
see me. I am so happy to see them, you know.
But you're most comfortable when you're on stage. Probably you
(12:52):
really love it. Yeah, I feel like I always think
my stand up as a dinner party. I know what
I'm gonna make, you're my guests. I don't know what's
going to happen. But the thing about stand up that
amazes me is it's only going to happen in that
moment in time. Even if we film it, it's never
gonna be what it feels like live. So I think
it's just an exchange of energy. Now, you were in
New York, went out to kept the apartment in New York,
(13:13):
finally gave up the apartment of New York, and you're
living in LA what's the difference for you, because I
have my theory about that. What's the difference for me? Well,
the difference to me is that there's so many more
actors out there than there are in New York. Like,
every time I see a picture of you in your Instagram,
you're like, you know, hey, it's me and so and so.
You're like at this eventure, this party, and it's very
social in the business. There's a lot of opportunities at benefits.
(13:35):
It's in a giant office, That's what Los Angeles is.
It's a giant office, but I'm really there more as
like I don't need to live there anymore. I mean,
it's just that my daughter's in school there now and
she's connected to that. And even though I lived in
New York for thirty years, I come back and it's
the boyfriend who I loved more than anything. But I
know why we broke up, Like, I don't want to
live here anymore. It's too many people. Yeah, I feel chlaustrophobic.
(13:59):
And then when I'm out there, I'm like, stop talking
about hiking. I don't care. Yeah, it's just it's such
like I just can't believe you're talking about hiking and
how the hike was, how it was just walking up
a hill with rocks. Stop talking about it. It's just torture.
But I think about that because because most of my
friends who were living here moved there in the nineties.
They're all out there. They're all there. They're all there.
(14:20):
I mean, New York is where you come and live
because you either don't care or you've made your name
known well enough when they'll confine you if they want you.
But for me, I see on your Instagram, and I'm
not saying in a judgmental way, I'm saying you remind
me about how out there you could go out every
night to an event of screening, and I hate doing that.
I only have to do that for my social stuff.
(14:40):
I just you know, it's just yeah, I don't I
could care less about going to those things. I really could.
I'd much father sit and have a small dinner party
with somebody that I super interesting. How did your work
change once you had a child? I mean, who you
are before you have a child and who you are
afterwards is completely different. My sons are just I don't
(15:02):
know what to do in terms of theirs. They have
all this energy. They don't go to sleep, They collapse.
I don't know how. I mean, if I had a boy,
I would have had a nervous breakdown. I always think
of you because Ava couldn't say certain letters when she
was like a baby. You know, she couldn't say ell.
You know how when they go through phases where they're
like and I remember, sure we'll called water wad and
an orange or none. And I was like, don't ever
(15:23):
correct her because it's so adorable. But the little boy
killing that lived across the hall, who was like, you know,
they got married at age three. He was obsessed with
Thomas the tank, your show my magnum opus, Yes, your
magnum opus, and he couldn't say ours, so he would
always say do you want to play with pussy instead
of Percy? And she had a big pink clock and
(15:45):
she was like, do you want to play with my
big pink cock? And I was like, this is the
most horrifying soundtrack I find. Okay, I'm not the Queen
of boundaries anyway. I think Ava was seven when she
came home and said, we learned a new word today.
I don't know what it means. And I go, well,
how do you spell it? And oh, like, yes, you've
never heard it at this house. So I think one
(16:06):
being a single parent, I overcompensate because you know, she's
with me the most of the I mean, she has
a lovely father, but she's with me most of the time.
I've always said to where I go, if we do
all the yeses, they're far fewer knows, like, if you
do everything you're supposed to do, I will say no,
probably much less than the average parent. How are you
(16:26):
with your daughter about media? We were great until we
went to Australia and I did the Melbourne Comedy Festival
and then I was like, she's going to get something
electronic to, you know, so that she can be distracted.
I regret it terribly, I really do, because I think
that we're all so addicted to it, you know. I mean,
I lost my iPhone recently and they were three of
(16:48):
the happiest days of my life. You know. It's nice
to be disconnected in the summer, no electronics until six
and we're all together, like my sisters and all the
we are all together as a family. So I like
that now, you do, Sabrina, Yes, and when I'm want
to talk about that in a little detail about what
that experience was like, because that's a classic TV show,
(17:09):
you know what I mean. And that's all I ever
wanted to do was be on a sitcom, That's all
I mean. I have this thought that many people have,
which is that you know, these things are now on forever,
you know, I know, if you're one of the stars
of Friends or Seinfeld, it's like that's going to just
follow you around forever. Sabrina has been on television every
day somewhere since the two thousand and then. Amazing. Yeah,
(17:30):
And what was that experience like for you? Did you
love it from the beginning. It's so funny. I have
this horrible, horrible boyfriend and we went to Hawaii. This
is pre cell phones or whatever. It's the old, like
ever your pictures developed, And I said it and we
broke up before the pictures were developed. And I was
like so devastated by this. And I was sitting in
the Upper West Side and I got this phone call
(17:51):
from Neil Scovell, who created Sabrina, and she said, are
you sure you won't reconsider the part? And I'm like, now,
I have no idea what you're talking about. My managers
had never forwarded it to me. Weeks before, well, they'd
never forwarded it to me. They'd passed on it. I
knew nothing about it. And she said, will you please
you know we're casting this week. I'm going to send
(18:13):
you the script. And it was so long ago that
she sent it, and it was printed on like it
looked like it came on a scroll from like Yeo's exactly,
because so I went across the street all the curled papers.
I read the script immediately, I'm like, oh my god,
I absolutely want to do this. I want to be Zelda,
which was not who I was. And she said we're
really thinking of view is Hilda And I said, well,
(18:34):
tell me about the character and she said she traps
a man in her ring for not loving her. And
I literally said, yeah, I'll do that. I'll do the
part because I had heartbroken. Yeah, I was like, I
just was like, I want this guy trapped in a ring.
That's literally what I said. And then I flew out,
and you know you. I did the first test and
then I went to producers and then they sent me
to the network and I had just done a pilot
(18:56):
that for some reason, it's just for that network. Now.
For see, I'd done a pilot that didn't get picked up.
It was called Daisy's Mom, about being a single mother
to a girl. And I was like, everything in my
life I always came it always came true in some
element was something I was playing. It was weird. And
then I went to network and I was like, you
know what, this show is going to be on the
(19:16):
air forever. I don't want to do this. I don't
think I can do this. So I left my network
test and they were so bad. Yeah, I left it.
I'm like, I'm not signing. That's the quickest way to
get hired. By the way, it's exactly what you show.
Go to hell. I just had this panic and I
don't know what I was thinking, and I flew home
(19:36):
and then they immediately called me and said, you don't
have to test. You can have the part. You know,
you just can you let us know and then you
could just have to fly out and do like a
chemistry tester with whoever's going to play your sister, but
please come. And I was such an idiot. I was like,
now an I want to And then I remember my
mother called me and said, good lord, that's not like
they've asked you to be a bricklayer. Don't be such
(19:58):
an idiot. You're appointing me exactly. She disappointed her. So
then so then I took the job. And then of
course I went to the psychic and he said, the
show that you're starting in September will be on the
air for seven years, which it was. I stand on
it for six, but it was it was there for seven.
It was the greatest thing that's probably ever happened to
me in many ways because and this is really hooking,
(20:21):
but it was like, what a gift to be able
to entertain kids, right, and like in an adult show
that was the loyal audience, powered by women about powerful women.
The only objective my character ever had was she was
six hundred years old and she had a playmate. And
the only thing I ever thought and ever scene is
you love this kid. You just love her and you
have someone to like, play with and be silly with.
(20:47):
Caroline Ray. If you enjoy conversations with hilarious women, check
out my episode with Paula Powell. I used to write
a sketch called six Degrees Celsius and it was like
a boy group and Will Farrell was their manager. They
had tinted glasses of course, you know. It was Jimmy
Fallon and Chris Katan and Chris Parnell and they were
(21:08):
a boy group. And then we'd have the host in it. Well,
that week in Sync was there. We asked and Sync
to be another boy group in this competition on the show,
playing a fake boy group, And so I wrote a
song called hold the Pickle and they were like McDonald's employees,
and so in Sync came out with like McDonald's outfits
on and saying hold the pit gull and they're so
(21:30):
they were so crazy talented, like they got there and
looked at it for ten minutes and had full harmonies
and full choreography. I mean, they threw that shit together.
I was just amazed to hear more of my conversation
with Paula pelle Go to Here's the Thing dot Org.
After the break, Carol Line Ray shares the gifts that
working on Sabrina the Teenage which has brought into her life.
(22:04):
I'm not like Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the Thing.
When Caroline Ray was hired on Sabrina the Teenage, which
she had already done years of stand up, I wanted
to know if her comedic background brought about any improvisation
on set that was not a big improvised show. They
were pretty, they were they were very nice about But
I had done a lot of pilots, and I had
(22:25):
done I had done a series that had lasted six
episodes and was canceled with a nineteen share. So now
I feel like I'm actually writing a pilot because I
want to be able to write my voice, which I
you know, it's fun. I like acting. I like playing
a character, but I think I want to do that too.
Four camera, yeah, four camera, yeah, you're gonna be on it.
(22:46):
I haven't told you yet, but I'll play Carlton the doormat. Yeah. Now,
but you are you really working on this right now? Yes?
I am. Did I answer the question about Sabrina. I
I don't know if I did. It followed Sabrina yet
everywhere I've been called a witch in every country. Yeah,
it's amazing. But you know what, I've also been able
to walk into the wall to read and see soldiers.
I've been able to go into children's hospitals. I've been
(23:07):
able to be sort of you know, it's in its
fourth generation of like little girls who come up and
hug me. You know, it's nice to be on something
that was sort of a good like you can watch
that show. And I've watched so much children's television now
because of my daughter. I didn't watch an episode of
Sabrina until Ava was seven. Wow, and then we watched
an episode every night. But I remember, and I'm sure
(23:29):
you've had this experience. I remember when I had done
a Sesame Street video and Ava saw me on television
and then she asked me one day, she goes, Mummy,
are you the same mummy as you are as that
person on television is that person on television also my mummy.
I was like, it's a very confusing way to put that,
but yeah, all forms of me and any any image
(23:51):
of me is still your mummy. Talk to me about astrology.
Why did you become interested in an astrology? I don't know.
I think it's because always look, I grew up with
a very open minded family who we had a ghost
in our house and it wasn't scary. It was just
sort of accepted, and we were big believers in the unseen.
And I think it's just anything that's like a further
(24:11):
understanding of what it's just like breaking down a character
in a play, right, like who they are. You're an aries,
You're full aries. You're such aries energy. You know what
the condition of the aries is, don't you? How lonely
it is? Being right all the time. Really, that's pretty capricorn.
That's my wife. That's my wife. I should have brought
you my cards, did I know? I've sent them to you.
(24:32):
The original one for arias I had to put for Queries,
which was dear Aries, your compliment hurt my feelings were.
So if you're talking to another areas, you don't get
hurt feelings because you know exactly what you're saying, but
I'm sure, Yeah, we've heard a lot of people's feelings
done intentionally. Let's get to the point. Yeah, what's the point?
Fast forward? Blah blah blah, what are you trying to
say saying? I'll say to exactly I will say to
my sister, and I'll see to numerous people in my
(24:55):
family has this and today's Saint Patrick's say they've got
this Irish disease. Where I'll talk to him and I'll go, oh,
I heard that Jerry's daughter was in a car accident.
They'll go, well, you know Jerry. Now I remember that
time with Jerry, and we got to loop around oh yeah,
like six spins around the track before we finally get
to the point. And I will just talk to my
family and go, wait, wait, wait, wait, what happened to
(25:15):
Jerry's daughter. That's how this began. And then and they
never get to the point. I have a really funny
memory with you two before we were friends. So it
was nineteen ninety six and I was sitting happily in
first class in my first class seat, I fell asleep
and I thought we had arrived in LA And They're
like We're sorry for the Serira delay, but this plane
is broken. You know, we'll get you on another plane soon.
(25:38):
And we ended up getting I had to take a
flight that I had to fly coach. That day. I
had gone to look at an apartment with my sister
in New York and the girl who answered the door said,
you know you're intelligent. That's weird. This is Ted Danson's
old apartment. I go, that's weird, and she goes and
I was the original Maryland on the Munsters. No, yeah,
this woman blonde, she was married, Yeah, she was, so
(25:59):
that that happened. And then I go to the airport
and I'm sitting next to Georgia Engel from marriage other Moore. Yes,
and I'm sitting next to her, and that was like
another throwback, right, And then I finally get on the
plane and I walk by and in my seat from
the previous flight is now a very heavily bearded Alec
Baldwin in my exact seat, who I did not know.
(26:19):
And I was like, oh, so annoying that you're in
my seat. And I'm not not that it was you,
just that I was I was like in thirty seven. Eh.
And then when we Land. Aaron Murphy comes up to
me and says, Hi, We're kind of related. And I said,
how so? And she said, I was Tabitha on Bewitch.
This is all in the same day. And then she said,
and this is my friend. He was Ernie on My
Three Sons. I'm like, when did this plane leave? This
(26:41):
is like the longest delay. Right behind her was Greg
Evigan from BJ and the Bear. I mean that was
the celebrity that was the TV celebrity flight. Yeah. I
just watched a movie with Greg Evigan's daughter in it. No, Yeah,
she's beautiful. She looks exactly Greg Egan. Yeah, very handsome
leading man Gregory Harrison, who had a great career in TV.
(27:01):
He was the one that said the thing that really
kind of changed my acting career in a way. He said,
I walked into the audition and I stopped pretending like
I was doing them a favor. He said, you called
me here. I'm here for a reason. I'm like, oh God,
thank you so much, and like being so needy. He said,
you want something I have. Now I want something you have,
(27:24):
which is the power to cast people in a show.
But I got something you you want as well. And
once I stopped asking, like they were doing me a
favor and were that I had something of value as well.
And I walked into and I was like a grown man, going,
what what do you want me to play? What? What
do you want me to do? Right? And and that
that imbued him with a kind of a confidence. I
always tell these young comics, I'm like, just remember that
(27:46):
manager and that agent work for you, right. You don't
have to please them. You're not like afraid of the
they are making money off your talent. Your talent, you're
very kindly said that I had a command on stage.
And I read a review that Malcolm Gladwell had written
about a book, and he said she wrote in a
(28:07):
manner in which she was saying, don't you dare take
your eyes off this page? And I remember reading that
and it gave me, you know, like, even though I've
done this for so long, you're always learning something new.
And I have this thing in my head now where
I'm like, don't you dare take your eyes off me?
Don't you dare? I have something to share with you,
and it's really important that I get this message across.
(28:29):
And I too think that now when I'm on stage
comedian and actor Caroline Ray. If you're enjoying this conversation,
tell a friend and be sure to follow Here's the
Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Spotify, or wherever you get
your podcasts. When we come back, Caroline shares the one
(28:50):
time she completely bombed on stage. I'm Alec Baldwin and
you're listening to Here's the Thing. After three decades in
(29:12):
movies and television, Caroline Ray is a back performing stand
up in front of live audiences across the country. I
wanted to know why the comedy club stage remains such
a magnetic draw for her. I think one of the
things that to me still so exciting about comedy is like,
I remember when I first moved to New York, I thought,
(29:33):
I don't know where my gift is from. I don't
know what this is. It's not tangible. It's not like
I memorized actuarial tables and I can go be an accountant.
I don't know where this is. It's something that comes
from a place that I don't you know, I can't
see it. And then the longer I've done it, the
more is like you are going to trust that your
gift is there and you're sort of channeling it like
(29:55):
wherever it's coming from. I think it's funny that your
mother was an obstetrician, your father was a guy in college.
That's funny is the magazines that came to your house,
of professional periodicals that came to your house were probably
just unsettling. My father had I had a pen in
the second grade that was for the pill, and it
was like a little pill that went up and down.
I had no we had all those things. We had
(30:16):
like Gina lotraman, notepads, no idea what they were. The
most hilarious is that when because my dad was also
medical director at Planned Parenthood, and my slutty friends in
college would call up and say, can you ask your
father if you can get herpies from giving a blowjob?
But don't don't say it's for me. Says for you,
and I'm like, I dance for me. I mean the
(30:36):
seventh time I asked, my father's like, good God, what
are you doing at that school? Exactly? Now? When did
you first sense that things had changed and this cancel
culture thing was coming and people started to change their
acts and the contents of their Did you become aware
of that at a certain point. I think when Louie
sort of got canceled overnight, right, and it was very
(30:58):
conflicting because he's such an old friend of mine, right,
and about getting into details. When you see someone being canceled, yeah, well,
but but why they're canceled. I mean, there's people who
get canceled and I don't get it. Yeah, Now, Louis,
when you understand what happened, you ask yourself, well, does
he deserve it to be canceled? I mean, when you
(31:18):
do that, well, it was very wrong what he did.
I don't know. People make mistakes all the time. I
don't think their lives should be judged one one event
that they've made a terrible choice in. I don't. I mean,
but when that happened, that's when you saw it like
a turning point. Yeah, and then I thought, and then
I was very conscious of you know, you do have
to be respectful of where society is going. You have
(31:39):
to be able to honor what people think and say
without you know, losing your own individual take on things.
What's the worst experience you ever had on stage? I'll
tell you right now. It was when I had to
perform at a wedding. I was dressed as a bridesmaid
and they weren't expecting me at their request, and yeah,
it was the worst experience. All of the saliva left
(32:03):
my body and it was just me horrible. And then
when the woman paid, man, I thought she was giving
me a paper cup with the chick it was and
it was like the first five hundred dollars I'd ever made.
And I was just, Oh, nobody's bombing at a wedding
where they're not expecting you, and they just oh, oh,
I still I'm having a flashback. Horrible, horrible, horrible. What
are among your favorite cities to perform? And what's a
(32:24):
city where you just almost invert? And I'm on my
way there because I'm gonna film a special there in May.
What's a special? I can't say, I can't say. What
do you think of this as a title. I'm trying
not to hate man. I think that's just gonna make
every man hate you even more. I just I seriously
don't understand, man, and I'd like to They won't hate you,
but they're gonna go clicks. We used to say, turn
the dial. I think men listen to these comics and
(32:46):
they'd be like, you know, what would the world be
like if there were no men? We don't need man. No,
I'm not talking about that. You've always been hypersensitive about
being a man. I've noticed that you are. You're always like,
so hard, I'm not going to take all I remember.
You're like, I'm not going to have somebody else's bad
experience projected onto me, and like, oh, yes you are,
because you're a very handsome movie star. Well, I think
(33:09):
that's the you know, for men, they're always like, why
do you understand women? Do I understand women? Yeah? I
think I do in terms of you're very loving and
kind with your wife. Well, if I'm not as hell
to pay, my kids will look at me and go,
don't you talk to mommy that way? I love that.
I'm like, when did my kids become my wife's legal team?
(33:31):
I'm like her lawyer. God, that's mom. But what is
the difference you think between the relationship between mother and father?
Just innately, like from birth on? How do you think
it differ from what I consider a great line my
dad gave me. He goes parent He says, parented it
as a competition between two people where the father always wins.
The bronze medal. Oh my god, Yeah, the mother was
(33:52):
the gold and the silver. You come in third in
a competition between two people, you're a third. But when
then in Canada, when we grew up in the Olympics,
we thought brons was the highest you could right, But
let me just stop with this. I want to say
I love you whenever I hear from you, whenever I
talk to that energy of yours that's made everybody love you.
Everybody loves you, everybody loves you. What's your wrap up?
(34:13):
That I love you and that you're a great man,
and that everything's going to be okay, and you're a
great dad and you make the world a better place.
My thanks to my dear friend Caroline Ray. This episode
was recorded at CDM Studios in New York City. We're
produced by Kathleen Russo, Zach McNeice, and Maureen hoban Ow.
(34:35):
Our engineer is Frank Imperial. Our social media manager is
Danielle Gingwich. I'm Alec Baldwin. Here's the thing is brought
to you by iHeart Radio.
Host
Alec Baldwin
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