January 29, 2025 • 9 mins
Someone falling out of love, a college-bound teen looking for her independence, and a mother who doesn't like or trust her husband but doesn't want another divorce... all looking for a little guidance. What would YOU advise? ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey It's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast through Hey It's Delilah.
Come on in and make yourself at home as we
(00:22):
share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when
people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and
need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay
tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from a listener who says, I have a pretty rough
(00:44):
dilemma that I cannot seem to see from the outside
because I'm just too close to the situation. I've been
married to the same man for almost seven years. While
I love him, I fear I am falling out of
love with him. I care about this man, just not
the way I used to. I have been trying to
(01:05):
tell him, but I always see the hurt in his
eyes and I back down. I feel bad for hurting him.
I have a habit of not sharing my honest feelings
with people who could be hurt by those feelings. I
know that I should be completely open, but I don't
feel it's possible, because I know it's going to hurt him.
While I'm not happy, I'm not in love anymore. I
(01:27):
do have a heart and he's a part of it.
I really need to get through this somehow. How can
I do this? I know that it is not fair
to either of us to keep pretending. Please help me, Delilah.
I cannot take the hurt in my own heart anymore.
(01:48):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a listener who has been
married seven years and is no longer in love with
her husband. She says she feels bad because she knows
she's going to hurt him, but it's killing her to
pretend like she's in love. Here is my best advice.
You need to get honest. You need to get honest
(02:10):
with yourself. You don't say what has caused you to
fall out of love with him. It could be something
you need counseling for. It could be that you're not
really falling out of love with him, but you're suffering depression,
or you're going through a change in your own life,
your own body, which is affecting your emotions. You need
(02:32):
to try to figure out what it is that is
killing the love. The passion, the joy that you once
felt in your marriage. You need to address that, and
then you need to talk to a counselor to see
what is your best options, what you should do. But
(02:53):
just being miserable and twisted up inside and pretending and
living a lie is going to drive you nuts and
everybody else around you nuts. So get honest. Tonight's letter
comes from Jessica. She says, I'm nineteen years old and
(03:13):
I'm getting ready to go to college, so I don't
really want to have a relationship in my life, but
I do want to date someone. I am in a
relationship with Robbie, who is in one state, and Antonio,
who is in another. Both of these relationships are online
internet phone relationships. I don't want to hurt either one
(03:38):
of them. Robbie is a get in trouble kind of guy,
but he says he loves me and he moves fast.
He says he works, but I don't really know what
it is he's into or the what he does. Antonio
says he wants to take it slow, doesn't get in
a lot of trouble. He says he works, and he
seems to be into some of the things I am.
(04:00):
I think I'm making a mistake by dating online and
dating more than one person at a time. Please help me.
I've never been in a situation like this before, Jessica. Jessica, Jessica,
I will have my words for you, young lady. Coming up next,
(04:25):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma from Jessica, a nineteen year old who
is off to college and finds herself in two relationships
to different relationships with two men she's never met, both
of them online relationships. Jessica, stop it, stop it, stop it,
young lady. You need to figure out who you are.
(04:48):
You need to live your life in the present, in
the here and now, and in your own skin, not
in some virtual pretend relationships with people you don't even know.
You can't say you love them when you don't know them,
and when you're seeing two of them simultaneously and not
even seeing them. Jessica, focus on yourself, Focus on who
(05:14):
you are, Focus on what matters to you. Find your
passions in school, what it is you want to study,
What do you want to do, What do you want
to give to the world, What do you want to accomplish,
Who do you want to touch, do you want to
help children. Do you want to help animals? Do you
want to change the laws so there's more fairness? Do
(05:38):
you want to stop the insanity going on all around you?
What do you want to do in your life in
your future? Focus on these things, Focus on giving back
to the world and sharing all the goodness that God
(05:58):
placed on you. And if you will put your focus
on that, you won't have time for pretend romances on
the internet. You won't have energy to be talking to
two different boys simultaneously that you don't even know. You
don't even know what they do. Shut off your phone,
set it down, stop texting them, stop rushing to get
(06:20):
your emails, and go live life fully, Jessica, that's my
best mom advice. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a woman
who is in a bad situation and she needs a
little help. She says, My story started out twelve years ago.
(06:43):
I was a single mom dating my now husband. He
was very good to me. I found myself pregnant. After
a little over a year, we had the baby, and
then we married. We now have two children together, and
I have a daughter from my first marriage. Over the years,
I have found several things I absolutely despise in him.
He is prone to excessive anger with my daughter. He
(07:04):
smokes marijuana on a daily basis. He treats our boys
completely differently. My daughter absolutely hates him. I know it's
probably in my best interest to divorce him, but I
don't have the money, and truthfully, I don't know how
to make those words come out of my mouth. Now.
He wants to move us away from family, back to
(07:24):
where he thinks life is more successful. I don't know
what to do. My family says, leave him, My brain says,
my boys will resent me. Please help me. I'm absolutely lost.
From Holly, Holly, I will have my words of advice,
and please listen to what I'm going to say that's
coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a woman
(07:53):
who's been married twelve years to a man who abuses
her daughter from a previous marriage and gets high on
a daily basis. HOLLYE, Run, do not walk, do not pass, go,
do not collect two hundred dollars, Run to an Alanon
or a Naranon meeting today and do it again tomorrow,
and do it again the day after, and do it
again the day after, and continue going to Alanon or
(08:18):
Naranon meetings. Why because you're married to an addict and
your life is completely unmanageable because of somebody else's addiction,
and leaving him is not going to solve the problem
because he is the father of your children, so he's
still going to be involved in your life. There may
(08:38):
be come a time when you need to leave him,
and you will know when that time is. But the
first thing you need to do, Holly, is take care
of you. And you need to learn about the disease
of addiction, and you need to learn how to set
healthy boundaries, how to find your serenity, how to parent
your children effectively, how to protect your daughter. And the
(08:59):
best place to learn all those tools is in naran
On Narcotics Anonymous Narnon which is for family members of addicts,
or Alanon, which is a twelve step program for family
members or friends of alcoholics. But addiction is addiction, whether
it's marijuana or alcohol. So both meetings are successful. They're anonymous,
(09:19):
they're free, and you can find them online. And I
would not hesitate. I would go tonight, good luck and
God bless you. I so hope you have enjoyed these
radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you,
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's
Delilah
Hey It's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast through Hey It's Delilah.
Come on in and make yourself at home as we
(00:22):
share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when
people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and
need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay
tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from a listener who says, I have a pretty rough
(00:44):
dilemma that I cannot seem to see from the outside
because I'm just too close to the situation. I've been
married to the same man for almost seven years. While
I love him, I fear I am falling out of
love with him. I care about this man, just not
the way I used to. I have been trying to
(01:05):
tell him, but I always see the hurt in his
eyes and I back down. I feel bad for hurting him.
I have a habit of not sharing my honest feelings
with people who could be hurt by those feelings. I
know that I should be completely open, but I don't
feel it's possible, because I know it's going to hurt him.
While I'm not happy, I'm not in love anymore. I
(01:27):
do have a heart and he's a part of it.
I really need to get through this somehow. How can
I do this? I know that it is not fair
to either of us to keep pretending. Please help me, Delilah.
I cannot take the hurt in my own heart anymore.
(01:48):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a listener who has been
married seven years and is no longer in love with
her husband. She says she feels bad because she knows
she's going to hurt him, but it's killing her to
pretend like she's in love. Here is my best advice.
You need to get honest. You need to get honest
(02:10):
with yourself. You don't say what has caused you to
fall out of love with him. It could be something
you need counseling for. It could be that you're not
really falling out of love with him, but you're suffering depression,
or you're going through a change in your own life,
your own body, which is affecting your emotions. You need
(02:32):
to try to figure out what it is that is
killing the love. The passion, the joy that you once
felt in your marriage. You need to address that, and
then you need to talk to a counselor to see
what is your best options, what you should do. But
(02:53):
just being miserable and twisted up inside and pretending and
living a lie is going to drive you nuts and
everybody else around you nuts. So get honest. Tonight's letter
comes from Jessica. She says, I'm nineteen years old and
(03:13):
I'm getting ready to go to college, so I don't
really want to have a relationship in my life, but
I do want to date someone. I am in a
relationship with Robbie, who is in one state, and Antonio,
who is in another. Both of these relationships are online
internet phone relationships. I don't want to hurt either one
(03:38):
of them. Robbie is a get in trouble kind of guy,
but he says he loves me and he moves fast.
He says he works, but I don't really know what
it is he's into or the what he does. Antonio
says he wants to take it slow, doesn't get in
a lot of trouble. He says he works, and he
seems to be into some of the things I am.
(04:00):
I think I'm making a mistake by dating online and
dating more than one person at a time. Please help me.
I've never been in a situation like this before, Jessica. Jessica, Jessica,
I will have my words for you, young lady. Coming up next,
(04:25):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma from Jessica, a nineteen year old who
is off to college and finds herself in two relationships
to different relationships with two men she's never met, both
of them online relationships. Jessica, stop it, stop it, stop it,
young lady. You need to figure out who you are.
(04:48):
You need to live your life in the present, in
the here and now, and in your own skin, not
in some virtual pretend relationships with people you don't even know.
You can't say you love them when you don't know them,
and when you're seeing two of them simultaneously and not
even seeing them. Jessica, focus on yourself, Focus on who
(05:14):
you are, Focus on what matters to you. Find your
passions in school, what it is you want to study,
What do you want to do, What do you want
to give to the world, What do you want to accomplish,
Who do you want to touch, do you want to
help children. Do you want to help animals? Do you
want to change the laws so there's more fairness? Do
(05:38):
you want to stop the insanity going on all around you?
What do you want to do in your life in
your future? Focus on these things, Focus on giving back
to the world and sharing all the goodness that God
(05:58):
placed on you. And if you will put your focus
on that, you won't have time for pretend romances on
the internet. You won't have energy to be talking to
two different boys simultaneously that you don't even know. You
don't even know what they do. Shut off your phone,
set it down, stop texting them, stop rushing to get
(06:20):
your emails, and go live life fully, Jessica, that's my
best mom advice. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a woman
who is in a bad situation and she needs a
little help. She says, My story started out twelve years ago.
(06:43):
I was a single mom dating my now husband. He
was very good to me. I found myself pregnant. After
a little over a year, we had the baby, and
then we married. We now have two children together, and
I have a daughter from my first marriage. Over the years,
I have found several things I absolutely despise in him.
He is prone to excessive anger with my daughter. He
(07:04):
smokes marijuana on a daily basis. He treats our boys
completely differently. My daughter absolutely hates him. I know it's
probably in my best interest to divorce him, but I
don't have the money, and truthfully, I don't know how
to make those words come out of my mouth. Now.
He wants to move us away from family, back to
(07:24):
where he thinks life is more successful. I don't know
what to do. My family says, leave him, My brain says,
my boys will resent me. Please help me. I'm absolutely lost.
From Holly, Holly, I will have my words of advice,
and please listen to what I'm going to say that's
coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a woman
(07:53):
who's been married twelve years to a man who abuses
her daughter from a previous marriage and gets high on
a daily basis. HOLLYE, Run, do not walk, do not pass, go,
do not collect two hundred dollars, Run to an Alanon
or a Naranon meeting today and do it again tomorrow,
and do it again the day after, and do it
again the day after, and continue going to Alanon or
(08:18):
Naranon meetings. Why because you're married to an addict and
your life is completely unmanageable because of somebody else's addiction,
and leaving him is not going to solve the problem
because he is the father of your children, so he's
still going to be involved in your life. There may
(08:38):
be come a time when you need to leave him,
and you will know when that time is. But the
first thing you need to do, Holly, is take care
of you. And you need to learn about the disease
of addiction, and you need to learn how to set
healthy boundaries, how to find your serenity, how to parent
your children effectively, how to protect your daughter. And the
(08:59):
best place to learn all those tools is in naran
On Narcotics Anonymous Narnon which is for family members of addicts,
or Alanon, which is a twelve step program for family
members or friends of alcoholics. But addiction is addiction, whether
it's marijuana or alcohol. So both meetings are successful. They're anonymous,
(09:19):
they're free, and you can find them online. And I
would not hesitate. I would go tonight, good luck and
God bless you. I so hope you have enjoyed these
radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you,
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's
Delilah
Host
Delilah
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